#bro his desires did not have to make me tear up like that
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luv-beam · 3 days ago
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HI TARA!!! my thoughts while reading are under the cut :'))) but i gotta say that i fall in love w ur writing every time i read something from u:
• i would like to start off w the fact that u set the scene so incredibly well, like im in awe and envy at this beautiful scene ur painting for us 😭 not to mention that it all flows really well too; just a strong opening paragraph
• awwwh PLS THE BIG BROTHER LITTLE SISTER DYNAMIC!!! when the little sis thinks the absolute world of her big bro :'))) and when she's even more mad than he is LMAO the TOAD LINE??? damn seokmin i was not aware of ur game
• lowkey i would have folded that fast too if duke lee seokmin of lancaster played along and kissed my hand
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• this starting line ^ crazy good... like i'd like to sear this into my mind so i never forget it?? the social szn unfolds like a delicate fan??? adding another layer to the tapestry of ur life??? lee seokmin????
• HE HAS AN UNCANNY ABILITY TO ELEVATE THE ORDINARY UGHHHHH WHAAAAT A LINE i love that so, so much and it's so true as well
• awwwh yn and seokhao's goodbyes are so sweet :'')))) im so glad they all hold so much affection for one another
• "your penchant for wool is far more than my eyes could bear" im cryingksnfkdnjf seokmin sulking over the wool while he's away,, sometimes i like to imagine him as a damsel draping himself out of the window sill of a tower
• i love how yn describes herself feeling empty while hes away like heh... i know something u dont... heh :))))) and crocheting? me too!!! so cute that she made him smth
• TARA U R A MASTER AT IMAGERY!! the opening lines of age 15 are mwah chefs kiss like if i could draw/paint, i would literally turn this fic into a graphic novel for u
• tulip... brb while i burst into tears
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• started grinning like an idiot while reading this ^ i can see his playful melodrama and the smile on his face,,, im so down bad like i would fold like a lawn chair if we played around like this irl (i say as a grown ass woman)
• oh how i do love the classic brushing of the limbs that gets the mcs blushing like hell... also love what u did there w the planting seeds in ur mind to decode later while they're literally planting flowers... i see u tara u genius
• oh wow the total 180 w the reveal of the duke's death (also seokmin addressing her as my dearest tulip TT) — thinking of seokmin entering the social szn as a recently-made duke and all the girls hounding after him in his fresh grief......
• this section (seok and hao just got back after the death reveal) is short but so bittersweet. like when u give seok the swords from the flower bed and he just kind of chuckles like yes... days gone by huh... UGH
• it breaks my heart to know that seokhao now have their dead fathers as something in common 😭😭😭 its sweet tho to know they're all looking out for each other. im w yn tho, i hope hers and haos relationship isnt negatively affected by this :'))
• THE RETURN OF THE TAPESTRY METAPHOR
• okay i have to confess something... this is my second time reading thru... and so im reading the part where minghao and yn talk in the garden and he's warning her of the whispers springing up abt her and seok and im like... freaking out bc i KNOW WHAT HAPPENS 😭 IM GNAWING MY FIST LIKE IK THAT HAO'D CONCERN IS SINCERE AND IM JUST SJFNKENFKFJF THIS SCENE HOLDS SO MUCH MORE WEIGHT DURING A REREAD (why i love comparing my thoughts btwn a first and second read tho, like u see things /differently/)
• i love the teasing and sweet assurances in the letters 😭 like they're so genuine and cute (rip minghao)
• AHHHHH THE SMOKING SCENE FROM SZN ONEEEE i like this change of dynamic tho instead of being btwn siblings, it's now btwn two love interests friends
• WE CANT ALWAYS HAVE WHAT OUR HEARTS DESIRE???? WHILE LOOKING AT US LIKE THAT LEE SEOKMIN????????? HHEHDJDJFJFJKFKFK
• sure sure fencing BUT YEARNING TO FIND LOVE?? BUT MY DEAR SIR?? YOUR GRACE, YOUR LOVE IS RIGHT NEXT TO U
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• THE LONGING AND ASPECT OF THE FORBIDDEN MAKES THE SMALL DISTANCE BTWN U YAWN LIKE A CHASM AHHHH THIS PASSAGE!!!! like oof... i love angst and yearning like this, where im screaming at my phone screen to just kiss her already (knowing the... perilous journey ahead... heh...)
• friend.... FRIEND???? brb gonna go waltz into oncoming traffic
• oh the way this ends 😭😭😭 like my heart is being squeezed,,, the way he whispers tulip and the roots of ur love for him take hold UGGGHH!!! I CANT DO THIS
i will have to endure for another day tho and i will return for chapter two tmrw! i loved this even more than the first time i read it (and i loved it a lot then too)!! i was really able to sit w ur words this time, and i do have to say tara that u have such a talent for imagery, like omg this was so beautiful TT but thank u for writing this!! hope ur having a lovely day/night and i'll be back o7 💖
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The Somerset Affair | Chapter 1: Whispers in the Garden
pairing: lsk x fem!reader genre: Bridgerton AU, friends to (?????) to eventual lovers, brother’s best friend, SLOWWWW BURNNN chapter wc: 8.2k warnings: alcohol consumption, societal expectations, eventual smut, more to be added a/n: CHAPTER 1 IS FINALLY HEREEEE // as always, ENORMOUS thanks to indi @wongyuseokie for this GORGEOUSSSS banner // and to my lovely betas shu @welcometomyoasis lou @tusswrites haneul @chanranghaeys this could not have happened without you // 2nd chapter will be up soon!!!
summary: lee seokmin is a scoundrel for having beaten your brother at fencing. or... is he?
comment to be tagged when chapters are posted, or join the fic taglist here!
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Age 8
Mayfair is alive today. The Somerset estate hums with energy, a ripple of excitement passing through the gathered crowd, their eyes all fixed on the fencing match taking place in the wide, manicured garden. The afternoon sun casts a golden haze over the scene, warming the air and wrapping everything in a soft, honeyed glow. Laughter and chatter float like music across the grounds, underscored by the occasional ring of steel clashing against steel. The sweet fragrance of roses drifts on the light breeze, mingling with the fresh scent of cut grass. You sit near the front, your small hands gripping the edge of your chair, bouncing with excitement as you watch your older brother, Minghao, spar against a boy you've never seen before.
This new boy stands tall, his dark hair tousled in the breeze, and a sharp determination shines in his eyes. The way he moves—it’s confident, with an energy that seems far beyond his years. Your brother, usually so self-assured, falters as the boy steps onto the mat. A flicker of unease passes through you, twisting in your stomach. You can feel the tension, see it in the way Minghao adjusts his grip on his sword. The match begins, and every time the swords collide, the sound reverberates through your chest. Your heart sinks a little more with each point your brother loses, and soon, the inevitable happens—the newcomer disarms Minghao with a flourish so smooth it draws gasps and murmurs from the audience.
"Such skill!" someone whispers, while others erupt in applause, their cheers filling the air. But you remain still, arms crossed tightly over your chest, brows drawn into a deep frown. How dare this boy defeat your brother? And so effortlessly! You want to scowl, to hold on to your anger, but the sound of the crowd’s cheers washes over you, making your resentment grow.
Seokmin—that’s his name, you overhear—steps forward, offering Minghao a hand, his smile wide and bright like the afternoon sun. "A splendid match, my lord," he says, his voice rich and full of youthful pride. "I must confess, I didn’t expect to come away unscathed!"
You narrow your eyes, watching as your brother, ever gracious, accepts the handshake. There's a mixture of admiration and annoyance in his expression, a good-natured acknowledgment of defeat. They exchange lighthearted jests, their laughter mixing with the lingering applause. But you? You're fuming. This boy, with his easy smile and seemingly endless charm, had just bested your brother, and you feel a burning need to dislike him for it.
Then, as if sensing your discontent, Seokmin turns to you, his eyes glinting with mischief. “Ah, you must be Lord Minghao’s sister?” he says, his grin widening into something playful, teasing. “Goodness, you make him look like a toad by comparison!”
Your mouth drops open in shock, a wave of indignation rushing through you. How dare he say such a thing? And worse—how could your brother laugh?  "I beg your pardon?" you snap, standing as tall as your small frame will allow, arms crossing even tighter across your chest.
"Oh, I mean no offense, miss," Seokmin chuckles, clapping Minghao on the shoulder. "I jest, of course! Merely saying that you’re far lovelier than your brother—though, admittedly, it’s not a particularly high bar."
Despite yourself, your scowl begins to soften. There’s something about the way his eyes crinkle at the corners, the lightness in his voice. It’s hard to stay angry when he looks at you like that, as if daring you to join in on the joke.
“Mama says men who try to charm without revealing their titles aren’t to be trusted,” you counter, lifting your chin with defiant pride. The quip comes out sharper than intended, but you’re determined not to let him get the better of you.
Minghao gasps, hands raised in mock horror. “Sister, truly, must you always speak so boldly?” He turns to Seokmin with an exaggerated sigh. “Please Seokmin, do forgive her. I assure you, turning eight has done little to improve her temperament.”
“You’re only two years older than me, brother!” you huff, your voice a touch more indignant. Before you can continue, though, Seokmin drops into a low, dramatic bow, the movement exaggerated and theatrical.
“The fault is entirely mine, my lady,” he says in mock seriousness, rising and extending his hand toward you. “Lord Lee Seokmin, future Duke of Lancaster. At your service.”
Two years of etiquette lessons flood your mind, and with a sudden burst of excitement, you place your small hand in his. Seokmin bows once more, this time dropping a playful kiss on your knuckles as you curtsy. You can hear Minghao’s exasperated sigh as he rolls his eyes, but you ignore him, a smile tugging at the corner of your lips.
Maybe Seokmin isn't such a scoundrel after all.
As the day wears on, you find yourself watching Seokmin from the corner of your eye. Despite your earlier indignation, there’s something undeniably captivating about him. You notice the way he treats everyone with kindness, far beyond what’s expected from someone his age. When a younger child stumbles near the fencing ring, it’s Seokmin who rushes to their side, kneeling in the dirt, his voice gentle as he asks, "Are you alright?" He helps the child up, brushing off their clothes with such care, you can’t help but be touched. "Fear not," he says, a smile returning to his face, "you’re not a toad—you’re a knight in training!"
The sight makes your heart soften further. How could someone so infuriating also be so kind? The lines of irritation you had drawn between you and Seokmin begin to blur, shifting into something more like curiosity.
As the sun sinks low, casting a warm amber glow over the estate, you find yourself gravitating closer to where Seokmin and Minghao stand, their voices rising and falling in animated conversation about fencing techniques. Seokmin’s laughter, bright and carefree, fills the air like music, and before you know it, you’re smiling too; there’s something undeniably magnetic about him.
Despite your best efforts, you can no longer deny the strange fluttering in your chest—a curiosity, perhaps even fascination, that you hadn’t expected. Maybe, just maybe, Seokmin isn’t such a scoundrel after all.
The days of the social season unfold like a delicate fan, each gathering adding another layer to the tapestry of your life, and with every event, Seokmin becomes a constant presence. He is no longer just an occasional guest—he’s a breath of fresh air, his laughter ringing through the halls of your family’s estate, turning even the dullest moments into something lively and bright.
The lively soirées your parents host become a stage for his effortless charm. Ladies in the latest fashions exchange flirtatious glances in his direction, while gentlemen engage in animated debates about politics and sport, the buzz of conversation always punctuated by Seokmin’s easy laughter. His presence transforms these gatherings, turning what once felt like routine social maneuvering into vibrant affairs filled with warmth and genuine joy.
Whether he’s lending a hand to your mother in the garden, his sleeves rolled up and face relaxed in concentration, or sparring with your brother in a friendly match, Seokmin has this uncanny ability to elevate the ordinary. What might be a simple afternoon stroll or an idle conversation becomes a moment of significance when he’s around. Sun-drenched afternoons spent wandering the estate take on a new glow, each moment painted with the sound of his voice, the infectious energy he brings.
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Age 14
The day Minghao and Seokmin leave for Eton is etched in your mind with vivid clarity, every detail sharp and impossible to forget. The morning is cool, yet the sun spills across the courtyard in golden rays, casting long shadows from the trees that sway gently in the breeze. The scent of dew-laden grass mixes with the faint perfume of your mother’s rose garden, but even the beauty of the estate feels muted by the melancholy lingering in the air.
Minghao, ever composed, stands with the straight posture expected of him, his hands clasped behind his back, looking every inch the young man ready to step into his responsibilities. His face, though calm, carries the weight of leaving home, but he hides it well, his eyes betraying only a flicker of the emotions swirling beneath the surface.
Seokmin, on the other hand, struggles more visibly with the impending farewell. His usual cheerful grin falters, the lightness of his presence dimmed as he glances between you and Minghao. He tries to keep up his usual charm, cracking jokes that feel just a little too forced, his laughter not ringing as true as it normally does. There’s a vulnerability in his eyes, a softness you haven’t seen before, as if he’s trying to hide his own sadness behind that well-worn mask of joviality.
As they load their trunks into the carriage, a heavy knot forms in your chest. You know you’ll miss your brother, but it’s Seokmin’s departure that stings deeper. He’s been more than a friend these past years—he’s been a constant, a steady warmth you’ve come to rely on. His laughter, his easy charm, the way he could turn even the most mundane day into something special. The thought of him being gone, of not seeing him wander the estate with his boundless energy, makes your heart ache in a way you didn’t anticipate.
You step forward, your fingers trembling as you reach for Seokmin’s hand, your grip tighter than intended. “Promise me you’ll write?” you ask, your voice barely more than a whisper, each word trembling with the effort to hold back tears.
Seokmin’s eyes soften as he looks down at you, his usual grin giving way to something gentler. "Of course," he says, his voice steady but quieter than usual. He squeezes your hand, his thumb brushing over your knuckles in a gesture meant to comfort. “I’ll make sure you get the best letters—no boring stories, only adventures, I swear.” His grin returns, albeit a little weaker. "Besides, my lady, your brother and I will be back to torment you again come springtime!"
Minghao coughs politely. “No tearful goodbye for me, sister?”  he asks, his voice teasing, but there’s an undercurrent of affection in his words. His eyes flicker between you and Seokmin, amusement tugging at the corners of his lips, though his posture remains upright and composed as ever.
You tear your gaze from Seokmin and offer your brother a watery smile. “Do not fret, dear brother,” you say, a bit of your usual wit returning. “I’ll save the tears for later, when the house is quiet without the two of you causing chaos.”
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My Dearest Y/N,
I trust this letter finds you in fine spirits, though I daresay it is far more likely that you are wrapped in the cozy embrace of your favorite blanket, lost in a book, while the world outside continues on its merry way. I cannot help but smile at the thought, for you have always possessed the rare gift of finding joy in the mundane. 
Eton is quite a spectacle, I must confess. The architecture is enough to make one feel as though they have stepped into a storybook. However, I must admit my fellow classmates lack the charm and wit of my beloved friend.
Oh, how I miss our little chats! It is a curious sensation to feel so far from home, yet I am bolstered by the knowledge that you are there, keeping our little world intact. Do tell me that you have not yet taken up knitting—your penchant for wool is far more than my eyes can bear. 
Yours most fondly,Seokmin
My Dearest Seokmin,
Eton sounds positively enchanting.I must admit, the thought of you amidst all that grandeur brings me no small measure of joy—though I do hope you have not yet been swept away by the grandeur of it all! I find it impossible to imagine anyone there being quite as dashing as you.
Life here, as you suspected, is a touch quieter without your vivacious presence. I feel compelled to admit that I found myself rather melancholic the day you left. It was a curious sadness, one that clung to me like a shadow. The house feels a touch emptier, and while I do find solace in my books, nothing compares to the ease of our conversations. The warmth of your laughter is a melody I find myself longing for, especially on the coldest evenings.
Do keep writing, dear friend. Your tales from Eton are the very lifeblood of my days, and I shall regale you with the ongoing drama of our little realm. Until then, consider me your most devoted fan, ever eager for your next missive.
With all my affection,Y/N
P.S. You will take great pleasure in knowing that I have, in fact, taken up crocheting. A lovely cap, perfect for early springtime chill, awaits you at the estate. 
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Age 15:
Seokmin’s return each spring is as reliable as the first crocus peeking through the thawing earth, marking the true end of winter. His arrival is never just an event—it’s a burst of life that sweeps away the dullness left by the cold months. Every year, your excitement bubbles over as you anticipate that familiar moment when the world feels a little brighter with his return. The sunlight bathes the garden in warmth, a golden hue spreading like liquid over the well-trodden path he walks down, Minghao beside him. Their laughter floats through the air, a melody that harmonizes with the soft rustle of blooming flowers and the hum of spring.
When they finally come into view, your heart quickens, as if drawn into the rhythm of their steps. With Minghao’s ever-amiable grin and Seokmin’s radiant energy, they are a pair that seems to make the world tilt just a little toward joy. Every spring, it's the same—they stride toward you as if no time has passed, as if the long months apart were nothing but a brief blink in the grander scheme of your lives. And each time, the three of you fall into the same routines as though nothing has changed.
It usually begins with some mischief. They never fail to poke fun at you until you’re red-faced with exasperation. Seokmin, with that teasing glint in his eyes, will say something absurd or playfully condescending, and Minghao, ever the instigator, will back him up with a sly smirk. It’s only a matter of time before you lose your patience, yell, and stomp your foot, your protests ringing louder than you’d intended.
Your raised voice inevitably draws the attention of your mother, who reprimands you from the kitchen window with her usual fond disapproval. "Now, now," she’ll chide, a soft laugh hidden in her voice. "There’s no need to shout, dear. They’re only playing."
Of course, that’s the cue for Seokmin and Minghao to burst into laughter, doubling over in amusement at how easily they’ve ruffled your feathers. You scowl at them, but it’s hard to keep a frown on your face when they’re both so gleeful, their joy infectious, lighting up the entire garden.
One afternoon, not long after their return, Seokmin and Minghao find their old practice fencing swords—long forgotten and buried deep in the flowerbeds, peeking out from beneath the tulips. You watch as they unearth the swords with a mixture of surprise and amusement, both of them laughing as if uncovering a treasure trove of memories. Their faces are bright with nostalgia as they pull the dirt-encrusted weapons free, brushing off the petals clinging to the blades.
It's then that Seokmin starts to call you "Tulip," a private little nickname he utters only when it's just the two of you. The first time he says it, there’s a lightness to his tone, his lips curling into that mischievous smile of his. “You know,” he says, leaning in closer as you both watch Minghao attempt a ridiculous fencing stance in the distance, “it only makes sense. After all, you’ve been hiding our swords with the tulips. I think ‘Tulip’ suits you.”
At first, you roll your eyes, feigning annoyance, but there’s a warmth in your chest at how easily he’s assigned you such a tender nickname. 
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One particularly warm afternoon, your mother summons you to help her with the flowerbeds, a chore you reluctantly take on. The sun beats down, the heat pressing into your skin and the earth beneath your fingers, while the scent of soil and fresh blossoms hangs thick in the air. You sigh, resigning yourself to the tedious task when, suddenly, a familiar voice cuts through the stillness.
“Ah, the fair lady in her noble endeavor!” Seokmin’s voice rings out, full of his usual playful grandeur. He strides through the garden gate, sweeping an imaginary cape behind him with exaggerated flair. His smile is as bright as the sun itself, lighting up the whole space. “Fear not, for I shall be your loyal squire in this quest for botanical beauty!”
Despite your earlier annoyance, a reluctant smile tugs at the corners of your mouth. Seokmin has a way of making even the most mundane tasks feel like an adventure. You watch as he bounds toward you, his movements light and full of energy. With an exaggerated show of determination, he rolls up his sleeves, pretending to prepare for battle. The weight of the day feels lighter already.
Together, the two of you dig your hands into the soil, your fingers dirty and the air filled with the soft rustling of the leaves around you. Laughter bubbles up between the two of you, mingling with the breeze as Seokmin’s animated voice brings life to the still afternoon. As you plant flower after flower, he regales you with tales of his fencing matches at Eton, his voice lively, arms waving dramatically to mimic the grand duels he’s fought.
“You wouldn’t believe it,” he says with mock gravity, “this boy was at least twice my size, and I won the match with nothing but clever footwork and a flick of the wrist!” He pantomimes the move, his arm cutting through the air like a sword.
You laugh, shaking your head at his theatrical retelling, the tension of the task dissolving with every story. It’s impossible not to get caught up in his enthusiasm. “Is that so?” you tease, barely holding back a grin.
“I daresay, footwork in fencing is quite the advantageous skill,” Seokmin says, dropping to his knees beside you with faux-seriousness, inspecting the flowerbed as though it holds the secrets to the universe. “If one can move with the grace of a dancer, one can—”
Just as he gestures again, his elbow brushes against your arm, and suddenly, time seems to slow. The lighthearted atmosphere is pierced by a spark, a ripple of warmth that travels through you. Both of you freeze, his eyes widening in surprise. His cheeks flush a light pink as he quickly pulls back, his confidence faltering for a brief second.
“My sincerest apologies,” he stammers, the usual brightness in his voice now tinged with uncharacteristic bashfulness. He resumes his work, his fingers trembling slightly as they sift through the soil. The warmth of the sun suddenly pales in comparison to the heat between you.
“It’s quite all right,” you reply, your voice shaky, your heartbeat far more rapid than you’d like. “Just... gardening, after all.” You try for casualness, but the words sound ridiculous even to your own ears, given the charged air lingering between you.
Moments later, you stand to stretch, hoping to shake off the strange energy that has settled over the both of you. Seokmin leans in to grab a nearby tool, and his shoulder brushes against yours again—this time, the contact lingers for just a second too long. The heat of it sends another jolt through you, making your heart stutter.
You gasp, startled by the unfamiliar sensation, your breath hitching. The warmth spreads from your chest down to your fingertips, a strange, foreign feeling you can’t quite name.
“Goodness! I beg your pardon again,” Seokmin says quickly, his sheepish smile returning, though this time it’s softer, more hesitant. His eyes flicker with something you can’t quite place. “It seems I have a propensity for unintentional collisions today.”
That smile—it makes your chest tighten. His presence, usually a source of comfort, now awakens something new within you, something unsettling yet undeniable. Gardening, once nothing but a mundane chore, has transformed into something far more intimate with Seokmin by your side. The flowerbeds seem to flourish under his laughter, vibrant blooms swaying as if they, too, revel in the joy of the moment.
But that foreign sensation? You tuck it deep into your mind, burying it along with the seeds you’ve planted, afraid to decode what it could mean. After all, this is Seokmin—your friend, your constant. And yet, the warmth of his touch lingers on your skin longer than it should, as if it’s quietly asking you to look closer.
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My Dearest Seokmin,
I hope this letter finds you in moments of solace amidst the tumult of your recent loss. It is with a heavy heart that I pen these words, having heard of your father’s passing. The news struck me with such a weight, as though the very air around me had grown thick with sorrow. I cannot begin to fathom the grief you must be experiencing, yet please know that my thoughts and prayers are ever with you during this difficult time.
Your father was a remarkable man, a beacon of kindness and integrity, and his absence will undoubtedly leave a profound void in the hearts of all who had the privilege of knowing him. I remember fondly the stories you shared, of his wisdom and warmth, which have clearly shaped the exceptional person you have become. His legacy, I have no doubt, will endure through you.
With his passing, I know you now bear the title of Duke. While this new responsibility may feel daunting, I have every confidence you will honor his legacy with the same grace and strength he embodied. I want you to remember that you are not alone. I am here, dear friend, steadfast and unwavering, ready to support you as you navigate this uncharted territory.
I eagerly await the day when I can see your smile again, and we can talk about the flowers in the garden, just as we always have.
With all my love and deepest sympathies,Y/N
My Dearest Tulip,
Your letter brought me a flicker of light amidst the shadows that have enveloped me since my father’s passing. It is a solace to know that you, too, share in my grief, and your words resonate deeply within me, reminding me that I am not alone in this turbulent sea of sorrow.
Thank you for your kind remembrance of my father. He often spoke of you with such fondness, and knowing how he impacted your life brings me a measure of comfort. His lessons of kindness and integrity remain etched in my heart, and I strive to honor his legacy in every decision I make as Duke. It is a weight I carry with both pride and trepidation, yet the knowledge of your unwavering support gives me strength.
Though this season feels uncharted and daunting, your friendship is a cherished constant. I, too, long for the day when we can stroll through the gardens, exchanging thoughts about the flowers and sharing laughter, just as we once did. Until then, I will hold onto the warmth of your words and the memories we’ve created.
With heartfelt gratitude and affection,Seokmin
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Age 16: 
When Seokmin and Minghao return home the next spring, it’s clear that Seokmin carries more than just the usual joy and liveliness he always brings with him. A new weight settles over him, one you haven’t seen before. The responsibility of the Dukedom starts to bear down on him, heavy as the cloak he will one day wear. His laugh remains bright, his smile still warm, but there’s something different now—an unspoken awareness that the carefree boy of the past is slowly giving way to the man he is becoming.
He has grown taller, his limbs long and strong, and the way he carries himself now commands attention. The once-boyish face is now defined, the angle of his jaw sharper, while his arms, corded with muscles, show the signs of hard work and training. It’s as if each inch he’s gained has come with a newfound strength, and when he meets your gaze, his eyes hold a certain seriousness, as if he is seeing everything with a fresh perspective.
The easy rhythm of your old routines stays intact—Minghao teasing you until you yell, Seokmin’s booming laughter echoing across the fields, and the reprimands from your mother when your playful shouts interrupt her afternoon peace. It all feels the same, yet beneath it all, you know things are changing.
On one such afternoon, you discover their practice swords—once lost and forgotten—buried haphazardly in the flowerbed among your mother’s beloved tulips. You pull them free with a gasp, the soil still clinging to the metal, and when you bring them to Seokmin, he chuckles, the sound a little sadder than you remember.
“Well,” he says, wiping the dirt from the hilt, “seems like even the tulips want to keep us from growing up too fast, eh, Tulip?”
Despite the weight of responsibility that now shadows him, he still calls you “Tulip.” The name slips easily from his lips, playful and tender, a thread that ties your past to the present. The quiet nickname carries the bittersweet truth: your days of carefree adventures and playful banter are slowly fading, giving way to the responsibilities of adulthood. And while the world around you shifts, that name—whispered in secret—feels like a promise that some part of him, some part of both of you, will always stay the same.
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My dearest Tulip, 
It is with a heart full of sorrow that I write to you, upon receiving the most distressing news regarding your father’s passing. The world seems dimmer without him, and my thoughts are consumed with the weight of your grief. I wish I could be there, to hold your hand and share in the memories of a man who undoubtedly brought so much light into your life.
When the silence envelops you, when the days stretch long and heavy with unshed tears, know that I am here for you. You need not wear a mask of strength; I shall not expect it. Life has a way of changing in an instant, and though we are thrust into roles we may not be prepared for, there remains solace in companionship.
Please remember, my dear friend, you are not alone in this journey. I stand with you, ready to lend my support and share in whatever you need.
With the utmost affection,Seokmin
My dearest Seokmin, 
Your letter reached me at a time when silence has settled heavily over the estate, wrapping around us like a shroud. It feels as though the laughter that once danced through these halls has been swallowed by a void, leaving behind a hushed emptiness. My mother, once so vibrant, now moves about with an air of resignation, her spirit dimmed as if she carries the weight of the world upon her shoulders. The joy that once bloomed within her seems to have withered, and even the flowers in the garden appear to droop, their colors muted in sympathy for our grief.
I often find myself worrying for Minghao. The new title of duke weighs upon him like a heavy cloak, and I fear that the responsibilities thrust upon him will change him in ways I cannot yet understand. I can only imagine the burden he feels, trying to uphold our father's legacy while grappling with the uncertainties of leadership. It frightens me to think of how this shift may alter our relationship, how he might feel compelled to step into a role that distances him from the brother I’ve always known. I fear I may lose him just as I have lost my father.
Yet, amid this uncertainty, your words bring me a flicker of comfort. The knowledge that you stand with me during this turbulent time is a balm for my spirit. I long for your return, for the laughter and warmth that you bring.
Until then, I hold your friendship close to my heart, a gentle reminder that even in the darkest of times, I am not alone.
With all my affection,Y/N
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Age 17: 
At the onset of spring, when Minghao and Seokmin return to the estate, the world feels subtly transformed. The air is perfumed with the scent of blooming flowers, yet there’s an unmistakable weight in the atmosphere, a quiet acknowledgment of the changes that accompany their new titles. As dukes, both acquire an aura of responsibility that overshadows the playful ease they once share.
The lighthearted teasing that characterizes your interactions is now less frequent, often replaced by a more thoughtful camaraderie. It’s as though their titles impose a certain decorum upon them, one that even the most mischievous of spirits cannot easily shake off. Their laughter, while still present, bears the faintest echo of seriousness that wasn’t there before.
Yet, despite this change, you find immense joy in their company, particularly when they engage in spirited sparring sessions in the training yard. As wooden swords clash and echo, it’s impossible not to feel a thrill at the sight of them—two young gentlemen, once boys, now embodying a gravity that demands respect even in their play.
The matches become a spectacle, each clash of wooden swords accompanied by shouts and laughter that echo through the estate. You perch on the sidelines, an amused spectator, as Seokmin and Minghao banter playfully between bouts. “You call that a strike?” Seokmin teases, deftly dodging your brother’s advance with a lightness that seems almost effortless. “I’ve seen more ferocity from a kitten!”
Minghao rolls his eyes, the corners of his mouth betraying a grin despite his best efforts to maintain an air of dignity. “One day, Seokmin, you shall learn that mocking your opponent is a perilous game.”
You perch on the sidelines, unable to stifle the laughter bubbling forth at their antics. Each exchange between them is a delightful dance, weaving a tapestry of shared history and unspoken affection. Yet, as you watch, you cannot help but feel a twinge of wistfulness; the exuberance of their banter now seems to emerge from a place tinged with nostalgia.
The sun dips low in the sky, casting a warm, golden glow over the training yard; both young gentlemen wield their wooden swords with a fervor that sends a thrill through the onlookers. You remain at a distance, your heart pounding in rhythm with each clash of wood, an exhilaration mingled with unease coursing through you.
Seokmin, with his characteristic bravado, flashes a teasing grin as he engages your brother. “Come now, my lord! Surely you can do better than that!” The laughter in his voice rings like a bell, though you can’t help but feel a knot of apprehension tighten in your chest.
As the match continues, you find yourself transfixed by Seokmin’s agile movements, the way he dances about the training yard with a carefree spirit. However, just as you begin to relax, a delicate butterfly flits past, capturing Seokmin’s attention momentarily. It is in this fleeting distraction that your brother seizes his opportunity, lunging forward with surprising speed.
“Seokmin!” you cry out, the word escaping your lips before you can restrain it. Time seems to elongate as you watch, breathless, as Seokmin turns just in time to evade the wooden sword’s path. He stumbles slightly, regaining his balance as he casts a quick glance your way, surprise etched upon his handsome features.
With your heart racing, you dash to his side, adrenaline coursing through your veins. “Are you quite well?” The urgency in your voice is unmistakable, for the thought of his injury sends a chill through you.
“Indeed, I am unharmed,” he replies, though the forced joviality of his laugh belies the tension of the moment. “Merely caught off guard, I assure you.”
Yet your heart refuses to calm. “You cannot be so reckless! What if you had been injured?” The fervor of your concern envelops you, and you see a flicker of something unspoken in his eyes as he steps closer, the air between you thick with a burgeoning intimacy. That same foreign sensation – the one from years ago when he had brushed against you in the gardens – ignites within you, one you had tucked away and kept hidden, rearing its head in this moment of vulnerability.
“Thank you, Tulip, for your ever-present concern for my well-being,” he murmurs, his voice lowered as he meets your gaze, the world around you fading into an indistinct haze. Just then, Minghao loudly clears his throat, and Seokmin drops his eyes, a bashful blush appearing on the apples of his cheeks.
You step away, embarrassed, your heart pounding against your ribcage.
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Minghao corners you in the gardens that night, the cool summer breeze brushing against your skin as you take a walk, seeking solace from the tempest of thoughts swirling in your mind. The encounter with Seokmin lingers like a gentle whisper, an unsettling mixture of warmth and confusion that dances at the edges of your consciousness, teasing you with emotions you struggle to understand.
“Sister,” he begins, his voice so soft that you nearly startle. In an instant, he presses a hand against your mouth, his finger raised in a quiet plea for silence. “It’s only me, Y/N. I fear you’ll wake the entire estate.”
“It’s your fault for skulking about the gardens like a common thief!” you whisper back, fiercely. “What on earth could possibly require such urgent discussion that you couldn’t grant me one night of peace?”
His expression grows serious, the playful glint in his eyes replaced by an intensity that sends a shiver down your spine. “You must be careful, sister,” he admonishes, and in that moment, he seems less like your brother and more like the Duke of Somerset—tall, proud, and formidable. “There are whispers… about you and Seokmin.”
“Whispers? Whatever do you mean?” You search his face for clarification, anxiety bubbling within you.
Minghao shakes his head as if dismissing the very idea of this conversation. A wave of indignation washes over you, eager to burst forth. He may be only two years your elder, yet he still insists on treating you like a child. “Your debut into society draws near,” he continues, his voice measured and resolute. “You mustn’t jeopardize it.”
“But Minghao—” you begin, but he raises a hand, silencing you with a mere gesture.
“Listen. You know how these things unfold. A mere hint of impropriety could tarnish your reputation. I don’t want you to suffer from the kind of gossip that twists the truth.” His tone softens, revealing a hint of genuine concern that pierces through your indignation. “I only want what’s best for you.”
You meet his gaze, the weight of his words pressing down on you. “I am not a child anymore,” you protest, the tremor in your voice betraying a mixture of frustration and uncertainty. “I am capable of making my own choices.”
“Perhaps,” he replies, his eyes steady and unwavering. “But I have a responsibility to protect you, Y/N. I don’t wish to stifle your spirit, but you must grasp the implications of your actions.”
The night air grows thick with unspoken sentiments, and as the stars twinkle overhead like mischievous spectators, you grapple with the tumult in your heart. There’s something about Seokmin that sends ripples of confusion coursing through you, a fluttering sensation that stirs your chest whenever his name crosses your mind. You do not fully comprehend what it is, but it’s undeniably present—a flicker of something more, leaving you teetering on the precipice of feelings you are not yet ready to confront.
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My dearest Seokmin, 
As I sit here with this pen in hand, I find myself quite at a loss. The arrival of my debut looms on the horizon, and while I am certainly filled with anticipation, I must confess that trepidation dances in my chest, quite uninvited. The notion of standing before an audience of peers—well-bred and well-mannered—fills me with an unease I cannot quite articulate. Will my words tumble forth in a jumbled mess? Or worse, will they fall on deaf ears?
I cannot shake the dreadful thought that I may never find a match. What if I enter that grand ballroom, adorned in my finest gown, and am met with indifference? Will the charming suitors twirl past me, whisking away others while I stand, forgotten, on the periphery? The idea sends a shiver down my spine, as I fear I may spend the evening watching the festivities unfold without me.
As I consider the expectations that accompany my debut, I can’t help but reflect on how you and Minghao have gracefully embraced your new roles as dukes. You carry the weight of your responsibilities with such elegance, while I find myself yearning to flourish in a world that feels daunting. Will I, too, be able to navigate this landscape of expectation and propriety, or will I falter under its weight?
Forgive my ramblings, dear friend. I suppose I am merely hoping for reassurance, a kind word from you. Perhaps if I know you will be there—your presence a familiar balm—I might muster the courage to dance and revel in the splendor of the evening.
With warmest regards and hopeful heart,Your Tulip
My Dearest Tulip,
Your recent letter has landed in my hands like a most delightful spring breeze, though I must confess it carries with it a hint of unease that quite unnerves me. How is it that my steadfast friend, who has faced the world with such spirited determination, now frets over the prospects of the ballroom?
First and foremost, allow me to put your mind at ease. The mere thought of you standing in that grand ballroom, adorned in the finest gown, is enough to illuminate the dimmest of corners. Your charm will be as radiant as the most exquisite of chandeliers, drawing the gaze of all who are fortunate enough to cross your path. I assure you, the gentlemen will hardly be able to focus on anything—or anyone—else.
Now, I cannot let this opportunity pass without a bit of teasing – regarding your step upon my toes during our lessons –  I daresay I must bring up a rather amusing memory. I cannot help but recall how you sent both Minghao and me reeling across the room, much like a pair of wayward marionettes! One can only hope that with age comes grace—or at the very least, a better sense of foot placement! If not, I shall be prepared to don the most resilient shoes in all of England.
Worry not, dear Tulip. I shall be by your side the entire season, if you shall have me (although, I am not entirely certain your dear brother will be entirely pleased by this idea). 
Your most loyal servant,Seokmin
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Dearest Sister, 
As I sit at my desk, I cannot help but feel a mixture of pride and exasperation as I pen this letter. Our infrequent exchanges have become quite the tradition, have they not? I find it amusing that as your brother, I am often left to await your words while Seokmin is constantly regaled by your stories. 
With your debut looming closer, I feel it is my solemn duty as both your brother and your Duke to remind you of the delicate nature of polite society. Your debut is not merely an occasion to don a gown and curtsy to the queen; it is a rite filled with expectations and decorum. I implore you to be mindful of the company you keep and the propriety that is expected of you as a young lady and the sister of the Duke. I have taken it upon myself to speak to Seokmin, warning him of the same – he has a habit of forgetting his own station in moments of levity. 
While I know you must find these constraints stifling, know that the eyes of the ton will soon be upon you, not only assessing your beauty but also your character. You are the jewel of our family, and I trust you will shine brightly, even amidst these expectations. 
Write to me when you can, dear sister, even if it is infrequent. Your musings are treasures to your dear elder brother, and I await them constantly. 
With all my love, Minghao
Dearest Brother, 
I say this with the utmost love and devotion:
Damn you. 
(Please forgive my language, and please, do not show this letter to Mama. I fear her admonishments may never end if she hears of my vernacular)
I am acutely aware of the expectations that accompany my debut – how could I forget when both you and Mama loom over me like a pair of hawks? While I recognize your intentions, your words do little to alleviate my anxiety. 
Your warning regarding Seokmin only serves to make me laugh. It is amusing, truly, to envision the Duke of Lancaster being chided by my brother on the virtues of propriety. I promise to keep my wits about me and to present myself with all the elegance expected of a young lady of my station (the sister of a Duke, no less!). 
I will do my utmost to avoid a scandal – or at the very least, I shall ensure that you do not hear of it. I shall write again soon, if only to unleash more of my exasperation upon you. 
Yours, in (implied) rebellion, Y/N (Sister of the Duke of Somerset)
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Age 18: 
On the eve of your debut, you find yourself seated on the swing in the garden of the Somerset townhome, the night cloaked in an almost palpable tension. The sounds of Mayfair filter through the stillness—a symphony of distant laughter, the soft clatter of carriages, and the occasional rustle of silk skirts—as the ton settles into slumber. The air feels electric, crackling with anticipation, as if the entire world is holding its breath, waiting for the events of the morrow to unfold.
You take a deep drag from the cigarette you swiped from Minghao’s rooms, the smoke spiraling into the night like a fleeting thought. With each inhale, you hope to drown out the anxious fluttering of your heart, a dissonant rhythm that accelerates at the mere thought of tomorrow’s debut.
“Why, Lady Xu Y/N, are you smoking?” The voice breaks through your reverie, causing you to sputter and cough, hastily attempting to conceal the cigarette behind your back. You turn to see Seokmin, leaning casually against the sturdy oak tree that secures the swing, his figure silhouetted against the moonlight.
His presence is both familiar and disarming, the boyish charm of his smile juxtaposed against the weight of his title. “No, Seokmin, I—” you stammer, flustered.
“Shove over,” he commands lightly, and before you can protest, he plucks the cigarette from your frozen grip, taking a deep, leisurely drag. The sight of him—so confident, so carefree—sets your heart racing in a way that both delights and terrifies you.
“What on earth are you doing here?” you ask incredulously, half-exasperated, half-amused.
“I was with your brother at White’s,” he replies, amusement dancing in his eyes. “It was my mistake to forget how little he can imbibe before devolving into an utter fool. I was merely making sure he returned home safely.” His tone shifts, curiosity sparkling in his gaze. “Are you excited for tomorrow?”
“Excited? Hardly,” you grumble, kicking at the scattered rocks beneath your feet. “What my heart truly desires is to run away—pack my things, flee to Paris, and open a quaint little bookstore. Perhaps live out my days as a spinster, surrounded by novels and solitude.”
Seokmin’s expression shifts, a shadow of understanding passing across his features. “We cannot always have what our hearts desire,” he says, his voice tinged with a hint of sorrow as he exhales a plume of smoke. “Sometimes, we must accept that we can find happiness in what we have, not in what could have been.”
You watch the smoke dance and dissipate into the night sky, thoughts swirling as restlessly as the tendrils of fog around you.
“And you?” you ask quietly, the question escaping before you can catch it. “What does your heart desire?”
“Desired,” he corrects, taking another deep drag. “I once dreamed of being a fencer, of dueling beneath the sun. But above all, I yearned to find love.”
Your heart stutters at his admission. His thigh brushes against yours, an electric touch that feels so scandalously intimate you can hardly breathe. You suddenly become acutely aware of the nightgown you wear, the thin fabric doing little to shield you from the heat radiating from his body. If Minghao were to catch you in this moment, you are certain he would demand that Seokmin either marry you on the spot or duel him for your honor.
The very thought sends a shiver down your spine—an improper thought that both terrifies and thrills you. You are a young lady, poised to make your debut, and here you are, perched so closely to an eligible duke, the expectations of the ton looming like a dark cloud. What would society say if they were to discover you in this clandestine moment? The whispers would be deafening, your reputation in tatters, and yet… the thrill of it, the danger, pulls at you like a siren's song.
“And you believe you shall never find it?” you ask, your voice barely above a whisper.
“I am a Duke, Y/N,” he murmurs, his voice so soft it barely pierces the night air. “Duty must come first. If there is any part of me left, which there rarely is, only then can I pursue love.”
The distance between you feels both impossibly vast and achingly close, the weight of his words pressing against you like an invisible force. You can see the vulnerability in his eyes, the unspoken longing that mirrors your own.
You hum, encouraging him to continue, yet the weight of his words presses down on your chest.
“But how fortunate am I,” he continues, his gaze piercing through the night like a beacon, “to have found such a remarkable friend who stands by me even as duty threatens to drown me where I stand.”
A friend. The word lingers between you, heavy and loaded. Is that truly all he sees you as? The realization sends your mind reeling, your heart racing in an entirely different way.
No, the trees whisper, urging you to reconsider.
Could it be…love?
That foreign sensation, long buried beneath layers of propriety and friendship, now unfurls within you, roots taking hold. You realize with a start that you have loved Seokmin, perhaps from that very first kiss on your hand all those years ago, long before you could articulate the feelings swirling in your heart.
Panic courses through you, and you leap up from the swing as if it has burned you. “It is late, Lord Lee. I must take my leave now,” you stammer, unable to meet his gaze. “I hope you find your way home safely.”
He reaches out, his hand brushing against your wrist, and your breath hitches at the contact. “Wait,” he says, his voice low, almost laced with concern. “Are you alright? You seem... distant.”
His eyes search yours, and you feel the weight of his gaze, an anchor that both comforts and terrifies you. Your pulse quickens, a frantic rhythm echoing in your ears. What would it mean to linger here a moment longer, to let the night wrap around you like a cocoon?
But all the books you’ve read offer no preparation for the heartache that comes with knowing he regards you as merely a friend. A friend, just like your brother. You are his friend, and the shattering realization settles in: he will never love you back.
“Tulip?” he adds softly, the word a whisper that brushes against your skin like the wind.
You swallow hard, every part of you aching to give in, to lean into the connection pulsing between you. But the truth looms like a storm cloud overhead, dark and inevitable.
You love Lord Lee Seokmin, Duke of Lancaster, but he will never love you.
And with that heavy knowledge weighing on your heart, you turn to leave, every step toward your room feeling like a betrayal to the emotions simmering just beneath the surface. 
You don’t sleep at all, thoughts consumed by a boy you had once known and the man you now love. 
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Tagging: @kibs-and-bits @moondustmemories @shinwonderful @ivehypnosis @gwend0lyne @thestoryofana13
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helpimstuckinafandom · 2 months ago
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Sinbad's kicking my emotional ass again😭
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yuckiemouth · 2 months ago
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Ugh I miss u sex with Riki bro like him coming home from tour I’m frustrated
“I Missed You So Much”
“did you think of me every-time you masturbated in your dorm?”
After their ‘WALK THE LINE’ tour, ENHYPEN finally got the chance to fly overseas to reunite with their friends and family. Although the experience was exhausting yet enjoyable for all seven members, they could finally relax—at least until they navigate through the throngs of enthusiastic fans and paparazzi. The pushing, shoving, screams, and tears were finally behind them as they settled into their first-class seats—something they could now afford, escaping the usual chaos of being followed even in the air. Riki sat at the very back by the window, headphones over his ears, resting his head on a neck pillow as he settled in for some much-needed rest. A soft ding interrupted his music. Riki glanced down, picking up his phone from his lap. A message from Y/N, his secret girlfriend back in Japan, lit up the screen. It read: “I can’t wait to see u ❤️.”
A warm smile spread across Riki's face as he read Y/N's sweet text. He quickly typed out a reply, "Me too, baby. Can't wait to hold you again." His thumbs hovered over the send button, but then he hesitated. Better not risk getting caught by the others, especially Jake who always seemed to snoop around his phone. Riki deleted the message and replaced it with a more innocent one: "Miss you already! See you soon!" Satisfied, he hit send before putting his phone away and sinking deeper into his seat, letting the gentle hum of the plane lull him towards sleep once more.
His phone dinged again and Riki’s 100% sure Jake would’ve twisted his head and asked “who’s texting you so much?”, but luckily he was slumped next to the seats beside him with his mouth agape. Riki chuckled before snapping a pic, preparing to use it for blackmail. He quickly checked Y/N’s message and it read: view picture. He dubiously viewed the picture and he inaudibly gasped. Y/N’s shirt was lifted with her perky titties in frame with the letters blocking her nipples like a tease. “I really need you.” Riki felt a stirring in his loins as he gazed at the provocative photo, his eyes lingering on Y/N's tantalizing cleavage. He bit his lip, trying to stifle a moan. Damn, she knew just how to make him ache for her. He couldn't wait to get his hands on those perfect tits again, to taste her skin and hear her breathy pleas for more.
With a smirk, Riki typed out a response, keeping his words light and playful to avoid arousing suspicion. "Mmm, I really do need you too, baby. But we have a few hours till we land. Why don't you play with yourself while thinking about me?" He attached another sultry selfie of himself lounging comfortably, his bulge barely concealed beneath his pants. "Get me hard for our reunion." Riki let out a low chuckle, his fingers tapping against the armrest of his chair in anticipation. His mind wandered to their last encounter, the way she'd writhed beneath him, crying out his name as he pounded into her tight little pussy. The memory alone was enough to make his cock twitch inside his pants. With a sigh, he decided to drift off with that thought.
.
.
.
As Riki approached Y/N's apartment building, a sense of relief washed over him. Being surrounded by his loving family had been wonderful, but there was no denying that he craved the intimacy and passion he shared with Y/N. He quickened his pace, his heart racing with anticipation as he climbed the stairs to her door. Taking a deep breath, Riki knocked softly, hoping she wouldn't keep him waiting. When the door swung open, he was greeted by Y/N's radiant smile, her eyes sparkling with adoration. Without a word, Riki pulled her into his arms, claiming her lips in a searing kiss filled with pent-up desire. He needed her, wanted her, and nothing else mattered in that moment. Riki shoved her back into the apartment with the wet kiss, pushing the door back close with a soft kick.
Riki's hands roamed over Y/N's curves as he backed her against the wall, breaking the kiss only to trail hot, open-mouthed kisses along her jawline and down the column of her throat. He nipped and sucked at her sensitive skin, leaving a path of love bites in his wake. "Missed you so fucking much," Riki growled against her ear, his voice husky with lust. He ground his hips against hers, the hardness of his arousal pressing insistently against her belly. "Need to be inside you, Y/N. Now." Without waiting for a response, Riki scooped her up into his strong arms, carrying her towards the bedroom as he devoured her mouth once more. The world outside faded away, leaving only the two of them lost in their desperate hunger for each other. Riki laid Y/N gently on the bed, his hands roaming her body as he kissed a fiery trail down her chest. He paused to worship her breasts, sucking and nibbling at her pert nipples until they pebbled under his attention. Y/N arched into him, her fingers tangling in his hair as she gasped and whimpered with pleasure.
"Please, Riki," she panted, her hips bucking upwards in search of friction. "I'm so wet for you. Fill me up, baby." He grinned against her skin, his cock throbbing with need. He slid down her body, kissing and licking a path to her dripping core. "Oh, I plan to," he murmured, burying his face between her thighs and inhaling deeply. "Fuck, you smell incredible." He left one last kiss on her inner thigh before adjusting himself between her thighs.
His rigid erection brushing against her slick folds. He looked up at her, his dark eyes smoldering with raw desire. "Fuck, I’ve missed you, Y/N," he urged, his voice thick with lust. "Hmm, this wet pussy," Y/N's breath hitched, her gaze locked onto Riki's as she reached down to guide him to her entrance. "I want you to fuck me hard," she whispered, her voice trembling with need. "Make me scream your name until my throat is raw." Riki groaned, his control slipping at her bold demand. With a swift thrust, he buried himself to the hilt inside her, stretching her walls deliciously around his thickness. "Oh, fuck yes," his eyes rolled as he began thrusting into her tightness. Her mouth falls agape with desperate pleas escaping her short breath. “Uh huh, yeah, fuck me harder,” she nodded, encouraging him to go faster.
Riki gripped Y/N's hips tightly, pounding into her with reckless abandon as he chased his impending release. Her inner walls clenched around him, milking his cock with every thrust. The sound of skin slapping against skin and their ragged breathing filled the room, creating a primal symphony of lust. "You're so damn tight," Riki grunted, sweat beading on his forehead as he drove deeper. "Take all of me, baby. Every inch." Y/N's cries grew louder, her nails digging into his arms as she teetered on the edge. "Riki! Oh god, Riki!" she wailed, her body tensing beneath him. With one final, brutal stroke, Riki felt Y/N convulse around him, her orgasm crashing over her in waves.
Riki's climax hit him like a freight train, his vision blurring as he spilled himself deep within Y/N's spasming heat. He collapsed on top of her, his heavy breaths mingling with hers as they both rode out the aftershocks. He rolled off her, pulling her close as they lay entwined in the aftermath of their passionate encounter. Riki pressed a soft kiss to her temple, feeling content and sated in a way that only Y/N could provide.
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sepptember · 6 months ago
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𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 — Hanta Sero
sypnosis :: what I think would happen if sero had a crush on you!
content warnings :: gn!reader, mentions of reader possibly getting hurt, probably ooc sero, kinda all over the place. not proofread. requested by my bff @lunatiqez.
wc :: 0.8K
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Hanta Sero’s interest in you bloomed early on; the sampling was planted after the villain is. hero exercise in the beginning of the show!
I like to think his admiration stemmed from you two playing on separate sides, and he began admiring you & your quirk when he saw you in action.
He immediately attempts to befriend you after, and upon getting to know you I definitely think he falls head over heels.
He likely yaps about you a lot. Bro writes about you in his diary using pink glitter pens, giggles and kicks his feet when talking with you on the phone, twirls his hair as he daydreams about you.
None of this actually happens, but Bakugo is extremely talented at being overly dramatic and says that is what Sero is like with you.
Kirishima is probably Sero’s wing man. He talks with you sometime and Sero, not so subtly, is like “So what did you two talk about? 😊 Did they say anything about me? 😁😄.”
He gets distracted thinking about you during class. You are a welcomed mind weed; you spread but he doesn't have heart nor the desire to pick you.
He's the type to ask you to look at your notes or to borrow a pencil for the sole purpose of talking to you. He did it more at the beginning of his attempts to get closer with you, and they definitely worked because it gave him openings to start conversations.
He also makes that everyone else's problem!! he will talk about you for HOURS to Kamanari or Kirishima, and on the rare occasion Bakugo, but also everyone in class notices the way he looks at you. It is a gaze of pure adoration, and each day it just grows stronger because you continue to impress him.
He looks at you as if you're his favorite hero, and it is so cute at first, but everyone lowkey gets fed up with it because he is taking so long to make a move.
He is ROOTING for you during the sports festival, but when you two face one another, you bet your ass he is giving you everything he's got.
He REALLY likes you and admires your talents, he would actually kick himself if he went easy on you just because of his feelings because 1.) he has a hero future to work for and 2.) he will not disrespect you in such a way.
Whether you beat him or not, I definitely believe his feelings increase tenfold! he just falls deeper in love with you.
He never directly says anything about his feelings, but he does make really subtle moves!!
He was raised to have at least some manners, so he is so chivalrous. Dude holds doors open for you and everything.
I like to think he doesn't act on his feelings until after the camp. He's stuck in that room while you are out there and that freaks him out. It genuinely terrifies him to his core.
He made an effort to get close with you because he enjoyed your presence, even before his crush developed. You two become super close friends, so his worry about your safety stems from far more than his romantic feelings for you.
Of course he is super worried about all of his other friends, but because he formed a stronger bond with you, you're at the forefront of his mind.
He visibly deflates when he sees you. If you got affected by the gas in the same way as Jiro or Hagakura, then he visits you until you're awake. (He contemplated bringing you flowers.)
But if you're just scuffed or non-fatally hurt in the way most of your peers were, he gives you the biggest hug ever, which doesn't happen often because I think he hates hugging people because of his elbows.
He gets insecure and worries that they are uncomfortable, but that all slips out the window at that moment. :((
He also cries. I think he's a quiet cryer, the only hint you get is his trembling body and the tears coating your shoulder.
It was such a tender moment between you two, when you hug him back, he almost begins squeezing the absolute life out of you.
It takes a few days after for him to say anything to you about his crush. It's likely after Bakugo is “rescued”.
He tells you straight up. It's a messy confession, he's definitely nervous, but he doesn't think he can keep it to himself anymore.
Yet when he tells you, you're like “funny story! me too.”
He is kicking himself because you're saying that you like him too?! and that you have for a while?? and that you two could've been together all this time?
He tells his friends and they're like “. . . you were the only one who didn't know it was reciprocated . . .”
He is stunned because they tell him all of these ways you've shown him. Bakugo calls him an idiot and that it obvious. He is so irritated with Sero.
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reblogs appreciated! <3
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red-viewe · 2 years ago
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general lilia x reader thoughts 🔫 (part two✌)
COLORED TEXT IS FAE LANGUAGE (tw: metions of bl99d, swearing)
Part 1 part 3
---
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'Fuck my life.'
Here's the tea. You found a half-dead but sexy asf fae on your sidewalk and decided, 'Hey! Let's bring him in, warp him up and fall asleep!' Which was a stupid decision, because now, you're leaning against Mr. Hot Guy's head, pretending to be asleep, because right now, THE FAE GUY IS AWAKE AND HE MIGHT KILL YOU.
After about 5 minutes of awkward silence, this happened.
"I know you're awake."
He said, as he slowly started to get up from the couch. "W-wow, i didn't think you would notice..." God, get yourself together, dude.
"Where am I?" He says, turning to the very sweaty(?) you. God, this man is so hot.
"You're in my house...in the woods, a-and you shouldn't stand up right now, you're still injured.
" You abruptly stand and gently push him down back on to the couch.
"I'm Y/n L/n, by the way... " Mr. Fae still seemed to be om guard.
"Why did you save me? Don't you know about the war going on right now?" He asks in a stern tone (which was kind of hot...).
"Well, war is stupid when you can literally solve everything without death." You say as you walked away into the kitchen.
"...Is that so.." He mumbled.
---
It toke time for the fae to tell you his name, you respected that. You wouldn't tell a stranger your name either. (Expect you did, but we ignore that) Afte a while, he finally said to juat call him Liliy. Being shot in the stomach with an iron arrow, it toke Liliy time to be able to actually move, but it was progress.
Your days suddenly became more interesting, as you spent more time with him, learning more and more about him.
Like how he's insanely good at games, even when he doesn't try, or when he sometimes helps you prepare for the day before you open the bar.
---
"I'm not playing with you anymore." You cry in a joking tone as you lose yet again another game of chess.
"Pft, if you'd like, perhaps you'd desire an easier game? May i suggest rock paper sissors?" Liliy says with mischievous smirk on his face.
"Oh, screw you."
'Is this man trying to poison me?' Was the first thought you had when you opened the lunch Liliy attempted to make for you.
"It can't be that bad..." You say out loud, slightly gagging when you scooped up some of the meal(?) onto your spoon.
---
And...sweet moments, which made your heart beat a little faster and your cheeks warm up.
---
"Sleeping late, beastie?" Liliy said, as he toke some of your hair into his hands and started combing playing with it, making you blush when you felt his breath a little too close.
"Mhm, I'm doing some stinky taxes before i go to bed." You said, writing down information. After a while of liliy playing with your hair, you started to feel drowsy and fell asleep, waking up the next day on your bed, with a half asleep liliy next to you, staring at you with half closed eye lids and a blush on his face.
'How are you so freaking fine?'
---
You honestly did not know when you and the fae started getting so comfortable with each other, but are grateful for your friendship with Liliy.
---
The some of the buildings were set ablaze, others half torn apart, and human bounty hunters were tearing the town apart looking for Lilia Vanrouge. Rumours of the infamous general seeking refuge with someone spread far and wide, wide enough to reach the ears of the royal family. The bounty on his head was more than 9 million thaumarks, and bounty hunters were eager to find the fae.
'Fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck' You screamed on your mind as you swiftly ran back to your home in the woods, running from the danger.
"LIliy!" You burst into your home, praying that your fae would still be there.
"Y/n." Liliy was dressed in the armour you found him in, with his gargoyle mask on this head, carrying his weapon. "I have something to tell you, beastie."
"That you're Lilia Vanrouge, I know." You're not stupid. You saw the bounty posters. Bro.
"Are you leaving..?" You silently said, eyes meeting his.
Lilia stepped closer, his voice now low and soft.
"I have to. If I don't I- You- my queen needs me, and it's too dangerous for me t-" You hug him, eyes watering. Lilia's arms gently embrace you, and he kisses your forehead. "I swear I'll be back, my love"
Tears fall down your face, as he slowly releases you and leaves, turning back for one last glance of you.
'Please come back'
--
Authors note
This one was a bit sad😭 maybe if i finish part 3 i can make some side stories with crack and stuff 😭🙏Would you like that ?🤔
(Also just comment if you want to be tagged if theres a next one)
(Tag list: @anonima-2)
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heartfullofleeches · 1 year ago
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I have been reading the masterlist n hosts character is so funny 😭😭😭 like when someone asked how ur ocs would react to a pet and everyone had an answer that was detailed while host only had
“animals dont really like host”
I just find that so funny ☠️☠️ Its like “no, host doesn’t have a problem with pets, but pets have a problem with him.” WHAT DID HE DO?? (other than being a life-form from a different planet)
Animals just know there's something wrong with that man.. This makes me think of a cat/bunny hybrid darling that meets host while he's pretending to be a normal man and just immediately gets bad vibes from him. Streamer bunny darling gets invited on his show for a interview and they're trying not to freak out in front of him. It doesn't help that on top of his natural weird energy bro has an unnatural desire to have the poor rabbit.
-
Host: We're so glad you decided to join us for a interview today. Tell me, how are you feeling at the moment?
Bunny Darling, tearing up: I don't even know how I ended up here. I heard laughter coming from my bathroom and when I opened the door something grabbed me...
Host: That's wonderful. Onto our first question - I hear you're quite talented with your hands. Care to prove it?
Bunny Darling: y-you want me to bake a cake?
Host: ...That is exactly what I had in mind.
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queer-n-here · 7 months ago
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Hi lol I’m just here to request Tachihara again (i was the one who requested him before haha). I saw that you wrote the fic and that’s awesome and I’m super grateful, but I wasn’t able to finish it bc I can’t read noncon (just a personal thing).
But yeah! I’ve been loving your other works and I was debating even sending this cuz i didn't wanna sound entitled or anything but if you’re up for writing another Tachihara fic, I’d be stoked to read it! The other options on the poll you put out all sounded really good so maybe one of those? Up to you! And feel free to shoot down this request, no hard feelings :)
Bro 😭 I'm sorry the fic wasn't to your taste. Also, this is for other people who wanna send asks, too. If there are certain themes that you're not comfortable with, please specify! I don't want to make y'all uncomfortable, and I think I remember you saying that you were okay with anything, anon *accusing side eye*.
Hehe, no worries though, and you didn't come off as entitled at all. In fact, you sounded so polite I was like damn I need to do this hahah (dont worry, I took no pressure, as you can probably tell from the time it took for me to dish this things out, I'm sorry brooooo 😭😭)
Also, I'm glad you like my works! ☺ Thank you for reading, and I hope you like this one, too!
In the poll that I did for Tachihara, the second place was taken by 'Edging+Overstim' so imma do that one!
Contents: Edging 'Hara and then overstimming him.
Warnings: Smut, top male reader, lil bit of nipple play, one case of degradation, edging, overstim, I'm writing this at 2:24 because my bae just went offline and I'm horny :(
Tachihara was barely even sane about three hours in.
You'd been edging him for so long, he couldn't focus on anything anymore. His eyes were dripping with tears, his hips bucking up to push himself deeper into your cock, only for you to grab his waist with a hiss and hold him in place.
Gods, you couldn't help but admire how sexy he looked like that, eyes glazed over and thighs trembling, hands clutching your shoulders so tight he'd drawn blood a while ago. Another sob shook his bruised chest as you remained stationary in him, so big against his walls but not moving.
"[Name]," He whined, the jut of his throat rolling. "Hhng, p-please..."
"Hmm..." You considered giving him what he wanted.
You raised a hand, letting it trail across his skin, caressing his torso, his waist, his thighs...
Tachihara moved to lean into the touch, his gaze pleasingly pathetic despite his brain having turned to mush.
You leaved down and, surprising the both of you with your gentleness, placed a kiss on Tachihara's forehead.
"Alright, then." You said, your voice husky with desire.
And then your hips started moving again, this time with a ferocity that sent the man underneath you scrambling for purchase, his grip slipping from your shoulders. His hands landed on the sheets on either side of his head and he gripped them tightly, back arching as your thrusts grew deeper and deeper.
The sounds of sex echoed across the room, and each one of your thrusts hit Tachihara's sweet spots at the accuracy of a professional sniper, sending his mind hurling, making him whimper. His moans were growing louder, and his untouched dick was leaking pre-cum onto the sheets.
It didn't take Tachihara long to come. A couple tugs at his nipples had him spilling all over himself, making a mess out of his abdomen. His body shuddered as he panted, body lax under you, till he realized you weren't stopping.
"A-ah! I just... Mmph! I just c-came, [Name], please..."
"Please what, baby?" You drawled, your pace wild and unrestrained, your gaze on Tachihara's body predatory. "Isn't this what you wanted?"
And he just whined, fat tears spilling from his red and puffy eyes as he shook his head, but at the same time his hole clenched around you, making you widen your eyes and then smirk.
"Such a fucking slut, 'Hara..."
You ended up fucking him till he was shooting blanks, till the half-begging expression on his face slowly turned into a fucked-out one, till he couldn't even say your name anymore.
Clean up was a pain in the neck as usual, but after changing the sheets when you laid behind Tachihara in the bathtub, holding him against you, you couldn't help but sigh in contempt.
As long as you had him by your side, you couldn't hell but think that life was good.
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hexologh · 2 years ago
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═══════☆♡☆═══════
𝗜𝗡𝗡𝗢𝗖𝗘𝗡𝗧 𝗕𝗬 𝗗𝗔𝗬,
𝗗𝗢𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗔𝗡𝗧 𝗕𝗬 𝗡𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧.
═══════☆♡☆═══════
AZURE, MONKEY KING, MACAQUE AND NE'ZHA FINDING OUT THAT YOU ARENT REALLY THAT INNOCENT!?
MADE BY: HEXOLOGH
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AZURE
Azure was totally caught off guard by your dirtiness... Wait, I mean your impressive level of confidence! I mean, seriously, just take a good look at yourself! You had this innocent facade going on, but deep down, you unleashed a dominant aura that sent shivers down his spine.
Will and want you to pound him into the ground, fuck him until he's holding onto you for dear life.. woah.. slow down satan.. 😟
Dang, whenever you playfully laid your hand on his thigh, it was like an electric shock racing down Azure's spine. But hey, it wasn't fear that got him all worked up, oh no! It was pure, unadulterated excitement.
He willingly signed up for the 'No Walking Challenge' because, with you around It's gonna be a wild ride and Azure is ready to embrace the thrill!
Imagine edging him. he'd definitely let you do it, But also imagine tying his wrists together and doing it back. he finds it hard to hold back..
And Legs? Pfft, overrated! Azure would put on a brave face, claiming he could handle anything.
But when the heat turned up, he'd be a sobbing mess, begging you to stop (not that he really meant it, wink wink).
And let's not forget his poor brothers! Azure would concoct the wildest excuses to skip out on missions, but it seems like his excuse generator is in desperate need of a reboot.
Time to find some fresh alibis, my friend!So, check it out, Azure lion, the ultimate definition of lowkey, was just, like, mad quiet at the diner table, you feel me? But he took it up a notch, like he was on stealth mode or something.
And, yo, imagine this—there he was, straight-up whimpering as your hands did their magic. It was a total mood, for real! I mean, it was so hilarious, like you couldn't help but ROFL at how completely and utterly pathetic he was in that moment. It's like next-level comedy gold.
"Hng, mhn~....ngh..!" Azure murmured as you gazed at him, raising a hand and placing it on your cheek while your other hand did the work.
"What's wrong?" you questioned, tilting your head back and your eyes shone.
"Cat got your tongue?"
SUN WUKONG
Oh, let's dive into the Monkey King's struggles!
I mean, this guy is the Great Sage Equal to Heaven, for crying out loud! He's all about power and not taking any nonsense.
But, hey, when you cast your gaze upon him, Like, he's low-key simping so hard, it's hilarious! Who would've thought the mighty Monkey King could be reduced to a puddle of mush? Love makes us all do crazy things, doesn't it?
Monkey King, surprisingly enough, finds pleasure in your roughness, reveling in the intensity and passion it brings. Equally, he adores the tenderness and warmth you show him, finding solace and security in your gentle touch.
It's a beautiful balance that makes him feel safe and cherished in your arms... As you demolished his insides ❤️
Bro like fuck him until his insides are the shape of your strap/dick or whatever.
Oh, let's spill the tea on the Monkey King! Here's the deal: He despises having to beg and bow down to you, or so he claims.
But guess what? Secretly, deep in the depths of his mischievous heart, he absolutely adores it! It's like he's caught in a love-hate battle, but the truth is, he's head over heels for the thrill of submitting to your power.
"o-Oh!... fu-fucK...ngh!" Sun Wukong moaned and groaned, he could almost feel tears rolling down his face, loving the way your fingers went deep within him.
"Look at how pathetic you are," you say as he flushed in embarrassment, his eyes closing shut and turned his head away.
Sun Wukong gasped before letting out another moan as your other hand seized his chin with force.
"Keep your gaze on the mirror."
MACAQUE
When he found out, oh... Brace yourself for Macaque's wild desires! This guy thrives on rough play, even going as far as enjoying being stepped on.
But let's not forget his mischievous side! Picture this: you're in the midst of work, and Macaque is right there, incessantly poking your head, like an annoying but lovable sidekick.
He's a handful, that's for sure, HE IS SO ANNOYING 😭
Like, "mommy issues?", "Daddy issues?" NO, HE IS THE ISSUE 👹😠
But alas you love him, CUZ YOUR A SIMP, But me too bbg 🖐️☺️
He's laying on the ground, his hips stuttering pathetically as he whines, gripping at your leg and pleading with you to keep walking on him, to release this overpowering need to cum.
Macaque, the lovable troublemaker with a heart full of love! Despite his antics, he adores you with every fiber of his being and isn't shy about showing it.
But here's the twist: when you unleash your power and reveal your true strength, it catches him off guard.
Well, he probably should have seen it coming! I mean, it's you we're talking about—the unstoppable force that commands attention wherever you go.
But like I mean, Slay queen/king 💅Get ready for Macaque's wide-eyed surprise, mixed with pure admiration, as you unleash your might upon the world!
And Slowly breaking him? He loved it, fucking him so good that every time he's in your presence for the next several days, his mind instantly returns to that day, his dick throbs at the sheer sight of you.
"haha.." you chuckled.
"Hah.. Hng! S-ShIt!" Macaque moaned aloud as your hands stroked his cock as the other hand pinched his nipples as tears roll down his cheek.
"Awh, did I hurt your feelings?"
NE'ZHA
HUH? WHERE DID THIS COME FROM!? WHO ARE YOU!? BRING HIM BACK HIS LOVER! 😠
My guy thought he had it all figured out, expecting to be the dominant force in the relationship. But, nope! UNO REVERSE BITCH! his expectations shattered when you swooped in and stole his spotlight! Though.. not that he minds being pushed down on the bed harshly as you literally rearrange his guts.
Ne'zha is the type that loves to try different and dirty things. so don't be surprised if one day he asks you to choke the living life out of him, like there he is officer, The horny 😧
Has a preference for being praised over being degraded, childhood trauma am I right? This man is 100000000000% a good boy <3
Tbh he would jack off right infront of you if you commanded him too, slut of the month, right here.
He'll never forget that day when he was talking to a maiden who seemed.. really interested in him.. more like his body.. I mean this guy probably wears things that are real tight, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS TIGH-- Okay I'll stop 😔
Anyways, He could practically feel your eyes glaring at him, and that's when he knew, he's so fucked, EVERYONE POINT AND LAUGH 😂
"Come on.. you can take more, right? You aren't the third lotus prince for nothing.." you murmured as your fingers gently wrinkled Ne'zha's chest up to down, as the vibrator in his ass works it's magic ✨
"C-CanT- No.. Hng, Can't anymore.. nghh!~" Nezha could feel the ropes tighten on his exposed skin, you frowned as you put a finger under his chin, forcing him look up at you, his weeping eyes looking at your disappointed ones.
"How utterly pathetic you are.."
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just-null · 1 year ago
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your yan!noritoshi is so wisnwonwpwjw RAAAHHHH going absolutely feral ... i want him . ive had so many thoughts abt him as like a yandere n then i saw your art n absolutely lost it /pos
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IM ALL EARS, BABY!!!!!!!!!!!
GOD FUCK OKAY, HOLD ON, I ALSO HAVE SOME RAMBLES AND THOUGHTS ABOUT YANDERE NORITOSHI BUT IM GOING TO PUT THEM UNDER THE CUT.
I AM IN NO WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR UNLEASHING MY TJOUGHTS OFFICER. IT WAS MY GLORIOUS CULT MEMBER RIGHT HERE.
MERRY OCTOBER YALL
[disclaimer: im not a writer, but I want to get better. think of this as my practice. it ended up being so fucking long, but i swear it's just rambles, not a fic]
[warning for blood under the cut? keep that in mind for future posts]
OKAY LETS GO.
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Bro ok so. if I'm not too delusional (yet) and don’t see him as a yandere, then this guy (Noritoshi) is still a strict fuck. he'd put you on the same level of importance as his clan if not a bit higher. but only by a bit. Your relationship would gradually bloom into something meaningful to him that he’d cherish you wholeheartedly. Only then would you grow in importance to Noritoshi significantly. He'd keep his resolve and all those healthy green flags. Because honestly? Noritoshi is just a green flag, he's so sweet..
But let's twist that into a yandere setting. I don't even need to twist too much, Noritoshi as a yandere is way too fitting.
Noritoshi was abandoned by his mother as a child, thereby fueling his lifelong goals to do as she said and bring her back. He didn't even think on his own accord, nor did he try to find a different way, or even follow her! He accepted his fate and made it his mission to accomplish the goal he was given. Despite the intense pressure of his worth being determined by an ability he was born with and the high expectations from the Kamo clan, he perseveres. That is until [spoilers] Noritoshi is exiled by his clan because of some Kenajku shit. All his hard work and future goals were ripped away from him without a second thought in an instant. Noritoshi was always the second thought time and time again, and now left as a man with nothing but the failure of his desired future.
That wasn't even the yandere part, that was all canon, what the fuck.
Yandere Noritoshi is the type to cling to scraps... He reminds me of an obsessive and protective yandere. obsessive about you because you become his everything.. his goal, his will to keep going, the light at the end of the tunnel. he wants all of you, from the best parts of you to your worst. He's also protective, because he cant handle losing yet another person so important to him. He'd rather tear himself apart than lose you.
He also seems mostly self-aware but can overthink to the point of delusion. For example, you pat him on the back and tell him he did a great job on something. He knows it's nothing to dwell on, but why does he feel like there's more to your words? Should he read in between the lines? but there's only one line! From then on, his mind would reel until he landed on a favorable conclusion. You meant that he was the only one who did great. The others paled in comparison in your eyes therefore you must favor Noritoshi in some way.. right?
Since Noritoshi was pretty deprived of any emotional support, you won't even have to try too hard to get his heart thumping. If you were to give him even just a bit more attention and care than the average person, like making sure he's eating alright or remarking that he's paler than usual after restocking his blood bags, he's hooked. He's self-aware enough to realize his blooming fondness for you is one-sided, so he simply admires you. that is, at the start. Note that Noritoshi is still new to these feelings so he's.. awkward. It's really cute.
Though these moments were cute to you, they slowly became horribly blissful to Noritoshi. Poor you, completely unaware of how you're slowly corrupting him in, what he thinks, is the best way possible just by giving him your attention. He thinks you're the last and only person still believing in him, so much so that everything and everyone else slowly becomes minuscule in the grand seam of things. He feels happy around you, like he matters, like he has someone to trust, like he has someone who won't abandon him. Because of this, he sees you as a new goal. A new hope. Failing you is not an option. Disappointing you is not an option. Hell, even a frown from you is unacceptable in his eyes.
Noritoshi tries to cling to you at this point in his own way... He enjoys it when you speak to him, or even sit next to him, so much so that he seeks you out when you're not there. You'd feel eyes boring holes into the back of your head, a sense of being followed, sometimes seeing your shadow accompanied by another, every time you turn around to be surprised by a familiar face. His footsteps are so quiet that you barely notice Noritoshi walking around.
Unfortunately, due to Noritoshi’s inexperience, the only way he knows how to impress people is by being “perfect” a.k.a. his strict, pain in the ass, annoying heir shtick. He would be the type to get on your case, scold, coddle, nitpick, correct you, and practically look like he's trying to bully you when in reality he's trying to hear praise from you for "helping" you. He’s waiting for you to see the affection and adoration behind his nagging, is he not being obvious enough? oh well, at least your eyes are on him for now. When most people in Noritoshi's life have either put him second or flat-out abandoned him, he's satisfied with anything he can get from you. Though he'd prefer praise, the thought of your attention being given to another even for a second makes his stomach feel like it's tying in knots, so he settles for your annoyed tuts and glares.
Of course, after a while, you'd get tired of this and tell him to knock it off. Or some variation of what a decent human being would do like, “Do whatever you want, but don't meddle in people's business.”
You KNOW he's going to be picking that apart in the middle of the night while looking up at the ceiling. What did you mean by that? Do you mean ANYTHING he wants? As long as he doesn’t bother anyone? Were you talking about yourself and everyone in general? Were you talking about someone specific? Did you leave it up for him to decide? Thoughts and questions circle in his head until he twists your words enough into something that he favors again. Ah, you allow him to do whatever he wants so long as he doesn't get in your way. But he wants to be alongside you... Did you mean in your way to the point of annoyance? Noted. From then on, Noritoshi's strictness softened into light nagging and bearable hovering. He'd knock it off completely through gritted teeth and furrowed brows if you threatened him with the silent treatment. He'll slowly start it up again until you begin ignoring him, only then will he get the hint and relax a bit. only until next time, of course.
The intensity of Noritoshi's coddling can fluctuate depending on your actions. (recklessness, obedience, shyness, etc.) it's his love language.
It's a completely different story if someone else decides to nag you as Noritoshi does... If someone scolds you, Noritoshi's on the offense. He's known for his occasional bluntness and sassy remarks, but this time... He's contradicting himself all in an attempt to get the other person to back away. If the one scolding you brings up points Noritoshi used in the past, he firmly denies them all and stands by your side. He'd rather sound hypocritical than let someone else care for you the way he does. Noritoshi stands in front of you, almost guarding you with his body and begins his barrage of deflective comments through his clenched jaw such as “That's not your place to say” “Shut it, they did no wrong.” “You don't know the reason why they did so, leave them alone.” and other things similar to that. Jeez, take your advice Noritoshi.. He’d argue and become antagonistic towards someone scolding you, even if it's exactly what he was about to do.
The same goes for someone who tries to be gentle with you to a lesser degree. It's nice that people see how wonderful you are, but having your smiles and kind words directed at anyone else other than Noritoshi is... Upsetting. The resentment gradually pools in the pit of his stomach and suddenly finds himself impulsively moving towards you and this "friend." He stands in between you and the kind person, trying his best to conceal his sneers. He wants nothing more than to have the third party get swallowed up by the ground or hit by a car, but he keeps his composure. Noritoshi sternly states how he’ll handle everything from then on and gives the third party a glare that's much more hateful than usual… Finally! Noritoshi has you to himself again! All is right in the world once more...
Noritoshi has always been on a very tight rope... Any wrong step and it’s going to snap. The more Noritoshi gets attached to you, the easier it is to convince himself that it's okay to cross certain lines to make sure you're safe with him. Even if that line he’s crossing, includes murder. It'd happen quicker if he caught feelings after the whole incident with the Kamo clan. You'd be the only thing he has left, the only thing he'd cling onto with every fiber of his being, emotionally and sometimes physically.
And like every fairy tale, a problem unconventionally shows itself much to Noritoshi's dismay... Noritoshi is shown to be prideful at times. Because of this, he'd try to conceal his more embarrassing emotions and reactions towards you. He wants to be seen as someone strong you can rely on, a steady pillar to your stability, someone who will do anything you wish at the drop of a hat, but it’s almost impossible to execute when he feels like he's nothing but putty in your hands at the slightest sign of positive reciprocation.
If Noritoshi felt his face heating up because your laugh caught him off guard, he'd turn his head to hide how that simple action made him nearly melt into mush. If your hand brushed against his, he'd quickly swipe it away. Not because he doesn't want to touch you, but because you'd feel how shaky and sweaty his palms got with just a graze. Noritoshi's gaze always lingers on his bow if you ever touch it causing his aim to decline in accuracy significantly.
He mentally curses himself out every time he pulls away from you because he knows he's sending mixed signals. Noritoshi loves you endlessly, but please spare his fragile heart. Your presence overwhelms him like no other, and he's utterly conflicted on how to act. He can handle being by your side like he wants, but the second your 100% focus is on him and only him, he’ll start to squirm under your gaze. Noritoshi wants to impress you! Stop being so mesmerizing for just a second so he can gather his thoughts and not embarrass himself! A-ah, but don't look away!!!
Tl;dr Noritoshi as a yandere is needy and petty as hell, but will explode if he gets an ounce of affection! He’s also! A creepy hopeless romantic who sends you mixed signals!
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siremasterlawrence · 2 months ago
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The Glorious Reintroduction Of Santa Clause
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My plan is pretty sound as I lay out milk and cookies for the fool like if I am a damn kid but I do what I must to trap good old saintNick and well he fell of hook like and sinker as the trap goes off.He snuck through my home with a useful like sweat to him as he takes a step at a time he creeps to my tree as the signal goes off to let me know as the alarm blares loudly to set the trap.The floor is triggered as the planned blast in array of colors as the lights are turn on automatically they are thrown at him landing on his feet he steps on to it as if secretly wraps on to his feet yanking the cord. He trips instinctively on to the freshly cleaned carpet as it tightens around his body and the carpet rolls up covering him up in place and he is locked in place prep for me.
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I shed the bed covers off of my body in the midst of freezing December weather but I did not care in excitement, I grab my robe before descending down the staircase to see it for my eyes.The moron is all snuggled into a perfect ass Christmas present for me as I step off of the last one walking to my poor little merry kind of prisoner and well way say I have plans on plans. Struggling to as he manages to land back on his feet he stares me down as I tower over him while my hands cup under his chin and lift him upward to face as me as his anger rages. I smirk a bit lifting my hand up slapping my hand on his as the tears I can see him raging with roar red rouge covering his face and I enjoy all of my power.
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“You need to let me go, I have a job to finish in twelve hours.”
“You will never be let go until I say so”
“What do you want kid?”
“I am full grown man!”
“Yeah! I explain very soon”
“You loved those concoctions I left for you “
“It is absolutely delicious! I can’t stop thinking about.”
“You are fixated “
“Stop it ! STOP!”
“Oh Santa baby”
“I hate that song! What are you planning?”
“This delightful concoctions are mind altering products.”
“You little shit “
“Uhh! You don’t want to be on the naughty list. Right nick?”
“You arrogant…ugh…what can I do for you?”
“Old Saint Nick! Santa Clause! Mrs Clause!”
“Quit that! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I am about to assume control.”
“Reindeer, North Pole, Sled, Red”
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“You cannot possible keep my captured like this forever.”
“Why is that ?”
“You have to set me free”
“Oh poor baby!”
“ You asshole!”
“Diagnosis the vessel “
“Oh fuck! I can’t function”
“Shut down immediately “
“Vessel is a open book”
“Perfection! What happen to his jolly old fat ass?”
“It’s his first run”
“Geez! A newbie “
“At least he is in shape “
“Commence the Santa project”
“Processing begins “
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“The Christmas lights begin to blink”
“Blinking upward and downward “
“Blinding you on impact “
“You are easily ensnared “
“Nnnnoooooo”
“You can’t fight it, surrender to my will and be mine.”
“You can feel it deep in to your soul”
“Your life flies by your eyes “
“You belong to me”
“You are a man in charge with a heart gold no longer”
“In fact you are the total opposite a hardcore submissive.”
“You love me, live for me, and submit to me.”
“I am your man, your heart, and your bro “
“Your everything and you swear to me”
“Now be a good boi as the lights glow everywhere”
“Yes Master”
“Dear Santa Clause”
“What is your wish my love ?”
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“The downfall of the North Pole?”
“As you command so be it”
“Your powers”
“All you have to do is fuck me”
“Then what ?”
“My powers are yours anyway “
“Oh I see!”
“What Master Lawrence?”
“You are desire me to fuck you period “
“Yes Master”
“It’s a win win”
“I love you Master”
“Strip off your clothes for me”
“Stare in to my eyes “
“Learn your place”
“Sir Yes Master Lawrence Sir”
“Kneel for me “
“Make out with me”
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“All you have to do is make a wish Master”
“I wish to have all of your powers”
“Close your eyes and take a deep breath “
“Our souls are connected now”
“We share everything “
“However! I am at your disposal “
“Under your thrall “
“Instructed by your voice”
“Living by your whims “
“What do you see ?”
“A wondrous place beyond my imagination “
“It’s the Santa Verse”
“Every Santa is here “
“We are your slaves now “
“No going back now “
“Kiss me and you will have it all “
“With pleasure “
“Mmmmmm”
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“Fuck! You own me”
“Do I?”
“Bro!”
“Go on”
“I can’t even think”
“My brain…is…hahahaha “
“Fried?”
“Yeah! I guess “
“Dummy Clause”
“Hot!”
“You would think so?”
“Babe come on “
“I know “
“Yeah bro”
“What so tonight anyway?”
“Christmas”
“Oh shit! Help me bro! I am so stupid “
“Obviously bro! Don’t worry”
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“Oh! I fucked up”
“Hell yeah! I’ll fix it for you “
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The end
50 notes · View notes
thatfoxnamedfinley · 3 months ago
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You Cannot Have My Pain aka Oathbringer thoughts
I am an empty shell
in both a good and a bad way
it's 5:28AM as I start to write this
MOASH
how DARE you
Dalinar I actually love you
Odium, u r actually a CREEP dude
spoilers will be under the cut *bows an emotionally drained bow*
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*stares into the distance, watching the waves crash onto the shore*
Do you guys ever relate to a character that's nothing like you? Like, something happened in your life that CONNECTS you to a character? For me, that's Dalinar.
And I know what you're thinking
WHAT bitch?
a warlord tyrant turned peacemaker, eh? r u a criminal bitch?
No. But I did lose my mom to cancer in 2022. My internal landscape changed overnight. The things I deemed important changed. I was able to finally see my flaws, made bare by my immense regret (a normal feeling when grieving) and it look a LOT of therapy to forgive myself. I didn't like the person I was. I was selfish, was quick to judge and didn't desire human connection, and I was so mad at myself that it took my mom dying to spark that change.
Without making this a TED Talk, I deeply connected to Dalinar's grief that struck me in an unexpected way.
"Sometimes a hypocrite is nothing more than a man in the process of changing." Oh...? Oh. Oh. TEARS down my face.
LET US BEGIN.
So, we BEGIN the book with Dalinar seeing a figure in black Shardplate with nine shadows and red eyes
oh ok
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Oh bro when Elhokar bowed down to Dalianr trying to abdicate and name Dalinar a Highking...& Dalinar and Navani are like
!! bro !! GET UP
OMG!!
WHEN HIS MEMORY CAME BACK OF EVI
I remember reading it and they were like "blah blah blah yeah, Evi" and I was like bro WAIT A FUCKING SECOND DUDE
oh oh oh
When Pattern asked if Adolin was an option for him to marry LMFAO ok Pattern we get it hahhhahhaha Pattern is so funny dude
Even in Shadesmar when he and Adolin were pretending to be illusions and he was happily waving a glass stick above his head, I'm like damn he's....a little touched tbh
Dalinar strolling around during a highstorm looking for a fucking knife was iconic as well as him spotting the assassin in literally 0.5 seconds and murking him and everyone in the room is like
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Gavilar was like "um thanks"
Blackthorn Unleashed was an amazing chapter. He went into Bloodstance - a stance for someone who didn't care if he got hit and he was RAGING
But you know what I also noticed about this chapter? Gavilar like, casually put a hit out on Highprince Kalanor and juts points Dalinar wherever he wants. And I GET IT, right? Like, the Alethi are good at war. Everyone talks about it, it's what they're known for.
HOWEVER, the enabling of Dalinar's behavior is, at times, sickening. Even though I know this is a cultural thing and they all see it as a good thing. There were several times in this book where Sadeas or Gavilar said something to push Dalinar towards violence that I was like YO this is super fucked up.
Tangerine had a interesting quote too. He was telling a story about how if there were 3 people and one was a murderer, would you hang all of them, let them all go and risk someone killing again, or keep them all in prison despite some being innocent. And Tangerine said
"Eventually you will execute someone who does not deserve it. This is the burden society must carry in exchange for order." And I'm sitting here in the US of A like
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holy fuck we're rich bitches <-- my audiobook bookmark when the Midnight Mother is chased away by Shallan's phalanges and we see all the uncut gems in the pillar thingy
JASNAH WELCOME BACK BITCH I was lit and it was so unexpected, she was such a badass in this book. At the end when she isn't even looking when she's killing The Fused and when she steps into politics and I'm like oh Jasnah will STEAMROLL these mother fuckers
OMG when Adolin was like I am NOT going to be king, dad and Shallan was like "hmm have you guys ever thought of..." and I rolled my eyes and was like "Renarin, duh. He'll have more prominence in the story this way and"
*Jasnah walks into the room with a crown on*
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OF COURSE!! IM A FUCKING IDIOT!!! OF COURSE JASNAH SHOULD RULE. Omg I feel like she hates politics but she's the PERFECT one for the job! She can be the best diplomat but also fuck them up with words (or she could soulcast tf outta them)
OH! Evi suggesting the Nightwatcher first was a surprise
omg wait about Evi
she was amazing. she tried so hard despite not fully understanding everything (I do blame Dalinar because he made decisions, but I mostly blame Alethi culture, here. I cursed out loud multiple times at their NEED for conquest and war, growing frustrated at how narrow minded that can make them. as well as how cruel). she was scared of him, but she had this one moment when she told Dalinar after finding out that he had actually spared that child, that she saw BEAUTY in him. i was like oh bitch you are a baby angel
she tried so hard for Dalinar. even that scene when Adolin crawled down from the carriage and he saluted Dalinar...and Evi said Adolin asked her the best way to talk to him and when she told him he was a war general he decides to salute
that's just....that moment was so sweet despite Dalinar still not understanding how to be a father
LIFT SAYING THAT DALINAR HAS A DUMPTRUCK OF AN ASS WAS ONE OF MY FAVORITE SCENES
Lift out here like "HEY YO TIGHT BUTT WHATS GOING ON?"
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holy fuck
Dalinar in canon having a nice ass is one of the funniest, most unexpected comedic jokes of this series
oh, Shallan was supposed to take notes but was drawing Kaladin instead ok girl
Teft being addicted to firemoss and Rock saving Kaladin with the Shardbow were both so amazing characters moments. teft having so much self hatred and selling his uniform which ended up coming back around when the person who attacked bridge 4 for the herald blade had his vets on PHEEWW and Rock saving the day I SCREAMEDDDDD!!! OMG ROCK!!!
"You're thinking of me," the Stormfather sent. "I can feel it."
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BRO WHAT???????????? STAY IN THE STORM WHY YOU SAYING WEIRD SHIT
Jasnah vs Amaram was legendary. She REALLY said do you feel lucky today, punk
ODIUMMMMMMMMM
yo when Odium showed up literally the nicest dude wanting to braid Dalinar's hair I was like HELL NO this man is dangerous
then when he showed Dalinar his final form I GUESS he's like all hatred and passion and sex and bloodlust and im like oh HELL NO dude
"Emotion. It is what defines men - though ironically you are poor vessels for it. It fills you up and breaks you unless you find someone to share the burden with" oh ok cool odium, lol poor weak humans, fuck us then i guess
Kaza was maybe the most memorable one off character for me, the soulcaster woman who was dying and chose to kamikaze at the end because she wanted to choose how she went out
Lift and Dalinar eating fruit together in silence is, I fear, iconic
i cracked up at the myth wit told about the queen who switched places with Mishim (the moon) to fuck Nomon (the other moon) and that's why Natanatan people are blue
like wtf bitch
Adolin telling Kaladin he talks like a girl sometimes....oh? Adolin? OH?????? *smirks in Alethi*
The Rathalas scene was nuts. The thing was he tried too, Dalinar tried to offer some sort of mercy and they fucked his ass with a pole. Then he's like ok, dope *embraces Thrill in a sensual embrace* "None will be left to weep" got it cool cool cool
I do like the little hints left, like he sees red (which we see later is the Unmade) and all the times he's briefly seen red and flashes of red we know was the Nergaoul, who was thought to be the origin of the Alethi "Thrill" which I found fascinating
OOOOOOH MY GOD
MOASH
MOASH!!!
FUCKING MOASH
HOW DARE YOU!!!
after he was EMOTIONLESS when he KILLED Elhokar then SALUTED KALADIN WITH THE BRIDGE FOUR SALUTE RIGHT AFTER IT
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Literally fuck Moash (his arc is fine and it's interesting because we get more lore but I dont like him)
THEN HE SHANKS JEZRIAN like MOASH wtf are you DOING bro?!?!?!?!!!!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!!?!?
I liked how cautious Queen Fen was but then remained an ally when shit hit the fan (I liked how cautious everyone was tbh because they're all just so scared of ThE BLAcKtHoRn and youre like bro come ON but then you're like oh yeah ok i get it)
I LOVED Dalinar's flashbacks. With the Nightwatcher (then Cultivation after Dalinar asked for forgiveness and NW was like ??? and Cultivation was like "I got it from here bitch"), and when he breaks down and holds Renarin ("They talk about you, but they're wrong. You just need to rest, after all the fighting you did. I know. And I miss her too." RENARIN PLEASE!!! THE TEARS I HADDD!!!!!), when Adolin lights up after Dalinar tells him he's proud of him, how he thinks of himself as an animal, that he deserves to be hated. It's all just so MUCH.
The PANIC ATTACK he was having when the Thrill like, chased him around and threatened to consume him...
It was so well done that the
YOU CANNOT HAVE MY PAIN was so GOOD it was so EARNED. God, the CATHARSIS I felt in that moment was so satisfying. Because bitches i really thought Dalinar was going to become Odium's champion and out intrepid heroes were going to have to fight DALINAR in book 4
Odium: lol I've had my champion for a long ass time, bro. ive been preparing him and watching him forever
Dalinar: Amaram?
Odium: lmfao bro its you bro
Dalinar: ...bro
and I was like
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Then Dalinar said JUST KIDDING BITCHES and the GLORY SPREN!!! BY THE THOUSANDS!!! AND HE SMASHED ALL THE REALMS TOGETHER!!! AND HE SAVED ADOLIN KALADIN AND SHALLAN!!!
YOU CANNOT HAVE MY PAIN!!!!!
"I KILLED THOSE CHILDREN. I BURNED THE PEOPLE OF RATHALAS!"
youtube
oh my god I have GOOSEBUMPS AGAIN
truly one of the most cathartic reading experiences I've had. The investment of 3000+ pages was worth it for that moment, and I mean that sincerely. It was that good
(Side note when Adolin's sword spren with her clawed out eyes attacked that one Fused I was overcome with emotion. What was her name? Maya? I think? that was a great scene too)
yo. SZETH. Brandon Sanderson you brilliant bastard. You did it. You gave us Szeth. Yes. YES. He's chosen to swear and oath to DALINAR. My man DK just be picking up bitches left and right to do his bidding. Kaladin, Lift, Szeth, Rial, Kmakl.
Lift was amazing. Her parts were so much FUN and the atmosphere shift to her personality was so welcome and uplifting and funny when it happened.
Jasnah's moment with Renarin was beautiful. "You are my cousin. Family, Renarin! Hold my hand. Run with me." SO SO SO SO GOOD Jasnah you are a legend you are THE MOMENT
Venli's Timbre pulsing to Victory as he has the Voidspren of her gemheart at knifepoint lmao (Im so glad she's a Radiant now, can't wait to see if she is developed more)
I feel like I have more thoughts (there was so much lore in his book but I'm not sure I have the energy to dissect it rn) but it's 7:22am and I haven't slept so im sorry if this post was unstable
good night lovelies
*sits up violently* wtf is up with sja-anat bro
ok *passes out*
*sits up again with eye mask on* yo Tangerine is gunna be a fucking problem and wtf Renarin has a corrupted spren right??
*wakes up and crawls on top of table, swaying with exhaustion*
I LOVE DALINAR KHOLIN A LOT OK I HAVE STRUGGLED SINCE MY MOM DIED IN GRASPING THAT DESPITE YOUR PAST YOU CAN CHANGE AND ITS POSSIBLE TO UNDERSTAND THE BEAUTY OF LIFE MORE AFTER YOU'VE EXPERIENCED THE PAIN OF LOSING SOMEONE YOU LOVE BECAUSE THEY CAN NO LONGER EXPERIENCE IT WITH YOU
AND THAT GRIEF ISN'T FATAL BUT SOMETIMES IT FEELS LIKE IT COULD BE BUT IF YOU CAN FIND A WAY TO PUSH THROUGH THE PAIN OF GUILT AND REGRET IT CAN ACTUALLY MORPH YOU INTO A BETTER PERSON IF YOU LET IT
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kamimarroco · 8 days ago
Note
more Bottom Ren fics pLEASE 😭😭 you’re the only one I trust for the task 🙏
HIII SWEETIE!! Sorry for the delay, I really struggled a lot with how I was going to do this, but I got this piece of work here
Officially my longest work, I did it all in the same day, there are probably mistakes, but I hope from the bottom of my heart that it is worth something ;)
Words: exactly 2200
CW: Handcuffing, anal, pegging, bottom Ren, noncon, unhealthy relationship, very toxic dynamics, MC is kind of an asshole, but they are too soft-hearted to be cruel for so long
“H-Hey, calm down...", Ren moved his naked body away from the middle of the bed to a point further away from you, his wrists struggling against the handcuffs, surely injuring himself in the process from the steel material. “W-Wait a second, do you have any idea what you're about to do?”
The panic rising in his voice made the smile on your face and excitement grow equally, or maybe even more, yourself placing your knees on the soft fabric of the bed, slowly approaching the beastkin.
“What's wrong, Renren? I thought this... was something you were already used to”, you made a point of pointing to the strap-on perfectly placed on your hips, a large phallus pointed directly at the man in front of you.
A beautiful sight to have, indeed. One that would certainly cause two people to cheer up depending on the context of the situation.
But for Ren, this is more than terrible, it's a nightmare.
And that's why the situation brings you such euphoria that you can't put it into words.
“Awe, don't be such a baby!”, you spoke in a playful tone, making the scene even more suspenseful as you slowly crawled towards him, giving him the false sense of hope that maybe he could escape you in time. Unfortunately for the beastkin, the handcuffs did indeed limit his power to do anything, and even if he managed the feat of getting out of bed, you had already locked the door in case anything happened.
He had nowhere to escape. He is a fox who fell into a perfectly orchestrated trap.
When you got close enough to put Ren within arm's reach, he futilely started kicking his legs, trying to push you away and hit you with one of his feet. “NO! Nonono, go away!”, he demanded, his voice becoming high-pitched as dread consumed him.
You didn't have the patience to deal with that kind of attitude at the moment, firmly grabbing both of Ren's feet and pushing his legs against his chest, automatically making him stop moving.
“Look, Ren", you said his name with a tone of voice that showed how thin your patience was running. “I'm trying to make things easy, I really am, but I can't do it if you keep trying to resist me”
You took a moment to look carefully at beatskin's face, his eyes big and bright, like he was about to burst into tears right here, a very different view compared to the one you had of him.
Days before, when you were the one wearing the stupid shock collar and when Ren was the one in charge and had control over you, you would be the one crying, begging him not to do something really bad to you, struggling and conforming to his desires just so he could go a little easier on you.
It's funny how things can change drastically in the blink of an eye, huh?
Ren looked at you with frightened eyes, scanning you, perhaps trying to find some sign of weakness that he could use against you and make you drop that completely crazy idea, but he didn't find anything.
“P-Please, how about we do something else? I-I'll do anything you want, anything!”
Oh, poor little Ren.
You clicked your tongue in disapproval, shaking your head slightly from left to right in denial, eyes closed and a too-happy smile plastered across your face. You even chuckled a little! Something Ren had never seen before and which would have been a wonderful moment if he hadn't found himself in the situation he was in.
What's so bad about this? Compared to what he's already done to you, he should thank you from the bottom of his heart.
“Oh, Ren…”, you brought his small body closer to yours, the dildo being pressed against his belly and cock, which for some very interesting reason was hard. “You say something, but your body clearly says something else. Tell me, are you secretly into this kind of thing?”
“N-No! No, I'm… not”, fucking liar, you can tell he's lying through his teeth.
“Oh? Well, it doesn't matter. It's not like you'd care about my opinion if the roles were reversed”, you moved your body away a little to point the tip of the phallus at his hole, releasing one of the hands that was holding one of his legs so you could guide yourself inside him. “You'll stop complaining in a second”
The object wasn't lubricated, and you hadn't even bothered to lubricate Ren to receive you. It's all dry and pure and raw, just like he always did with you.
You didn't give him space to say a word before brutally shoving the object inside his hole, receiving a high-pitched scream that sounded like an animal in pain and pushing his body lightly onto the bed.
“S-STOP, STOP IT! IT HURTS!”, he shouted a few more times with that same high-pitched tone of voice, which was genuinely starting to piss you off due to the agony it caused to your ears.
“Oh, shut up! It's not even that hard, stop being difficult!”, you ignored his screams of pain and pulled the dildo out, the movement not being as smooth due to the fact that you hadn't used lube. “You can take it. Stop acting like a… girl”
You had no other words to describe him nor did you bother to think, returning to the work of sticking the phallus once more inside his hole.
Ren was panicking, his breathing was shallow and fast and desperate, his body trying to escape the invasion of having an object forced inside him so roughly and suddenly, his hands unable to do anything about it, with some lines of blood already forming on the skin of his wrists from the steel.
All the beastkin could do was twitch his legs, and his legs he twitched every time the pain spread through his body, each nerve sending the sensation to another nerve until all he could feel was just that.
Your cheeks burned with lust and the power of being able to do something like this with Ren, your smile widening even further as you laughed maniacally at him, your chest burning with something akin to pride.
Proud to be doing this to him, proud to be able to respond in the same way he did to you.
Ren continued screaming, his body still trying to resist the abuse, tears forming in the corners of his eyes, which didn't dare open to look you face to face. He was scared, being violated, trapped by you, a fox in the palm of your hand.
“It hurts, doesn't it? It hurts when it's with you”, you punctuated with a rough, deep thrust, moving your hands to hold him at the hips to keep him in place. “It's kind of nice... to see you getting the same treatment you did to me, and probably to other people”
You didn't want to hear it, but a little voice in the back of your head told you that you were going too far with all of this. Sure, he's a little bastard, he forced you to kill a man, shocked you multiple times, raped you in the basement, and inflicted your skin over and over again-
Actually, when you think about it, he more than deserves this. This is more than justified for you and others, and you really don't want to kill the mood by suddenly changing your mind because of moral values.
You kept moving again and again for a while, getting the same animal reaction in pain as the other times, but slowly dying down little by little. Maybe because he had already used up all his energy, or maybe because he realized there was no point in continuing to fight.
The movement of Ren's legs also died, leaving only the rivers of tears that formed in his eyes, which finally opened to look at you and-
Fuck, you think he's beautiful like this, but you also feel a pang in your heart when you see him so worn out.
“I-I’m sorry…”, he speaks weakly as you continue to move, genuinely taking you by surprise.
You suddenly stop, your gaze remaining fixed on his, your mouth half open in surprise. “What?”
You seriously weren't thinking about stopping just because you saw him cry and apologize, right?
“What did you say?", you asked again, paying attention to his facial expressions, trying to discover any malicious intention behind the words.
“I-I said... I'm sorry", and he repeated it again, ears flat against his head, a wet trail formed on either side of his face by tears.
You're not gonna lie... You feel bad seeing this. You're not a monster, you're not someone who does these kinds of things just for pure sadistic pleasure. You are not like him.
Still, you can't just change your mind because he apologized! Anyone would do that in this situation, you can't be that soft-hearted-
“Ssshit, I'm sorry. I-I think I exaggerated a little"
well, shit.
Just as you were about to remove the dildo from inside Ren, you are unexpectedly stopped by him.
“N-No, I mean… You can go on, really, just... go easy on me”
You make a confused expression at his request, not knowing if you want to stop because of what you witnessed or continue because he is strangely cooperating now.
Ren senses your uncertainty and change of heart and decides to put his word in. “I-It's okay, it's just... the way you do it. It's too rough”
Too rough, he says.
“So, what should I do?”, you feel like a child asking an adult how to do the right thing. It's funny, considering you're a few years older than him.
For some odd reason, telling you how you should do it makes his cheeks burn with embarrassment, a completely different moment compared to what was happening minutes before.
“I would tell you to use lube, but I think you threw that idea out the window a long time ago”, you feel bad thinking that he most likely felt his insides tearing apart every time you moved. “Try to go... slowly, to make the movements smooth"
Slowly. Yeah, you can do that.
You breathe and concentrate on not going as rough as you did the previous times, making sure to hold onto his small body so he doesn't escape you. The difference is clear. You are gentle... and he doesn't let out a scream of pain when the phallus is inserted all the way inside him. Ren doesn't fight or cry or try to run away from the act this time.
He genuinely seems to embrace the feeling now, even though the pain may still be there.
“Is this better?", you ask right after doing so, not daring to move without first knowing the beastkin's word.
You can't help but feel stupid for now worrying about his opinion when you should be teaching him a lesson.
“Yeah, it's better”, he speaks softly, a little hoarse from all the shouting he did at the top of his lungs earlier. His tail touches your leg, the fur tickling your skin but not irritating you in the slightest. You welcome it. “Can you… kiss me now?”
“Kiss you?”, you are surprised by his request, but try to play it cool as you remember that you asked the beastkin about how you should do things the right way in the first place. “I mean, sure... If that's what you want”
You feel hesitant at first, a little nervous about kissing him. Why are you nervous? You've never felt this way before. Maybe the reason is because this moment feels more intimate, delicate, and you really don't want to spoil the mood.
You touch Ren's face, gently running your fingers over the soft skin, unconsciously wiping away the trail of tears that were still present, kind of feeling bad about how much he had cried. Feeling bad that you were the reason behind it.
He's so soft, so small, as if he could break at any moment, especially in your hands.
You bring your lips closer to his, first testing your skin against his, giving light nibbles to spice things up, always careful not to be too rough after what he's been through. You feel your heart flutter inside your chest as you feel him respond, but of course he does, in a way as sweet and calm as yours.
You feel encouraged to move your hands over Ren's body, touching each scar with care and affection, outlining the wounds with adoration. He trembles at the contact, his muscles initially tensing, then giving way to relaxing under your caresses. You gently ask for entry with your tongue and are answered by him opening his mouth, entering it with confidence and ardor.
He tastes good... Fuck, he tastes good.
You don't need any further instructions and just start moving in and out at a steady, calm pace, feeling the movement more fluid as he opens up to you in more ways than one.
This is good. It's easy. You can do it easily.
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popponn · 1 year ago
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hair and lovers. [aryu jyubei x f!reader]
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notes: this is intended to be read with 0 braincell on kind of crack fic. nonetheless, i tried to make them disgustingly sweet. the only thing that ever came close to mortal danger is aryu's hair.
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“I love you, but I’m sick of this,” you said, grimness lacing both your face and tone. A pair of grass scissors rest in your hand like a murder weapon-to-be.
Aryu Jyubei—who had been and shall be forever called Aryu so the bitch wouldn’t pull a hissy fit—your boyfriend, your roommate, and unfortunately probably your soulmate for life too, stared at you in horror. “My beloved?! What—”
You didn’t let him finish. “Shut up. Or I will kill you.”
Dramatically, in return, Aryu gasped, “Was it Itoshi Rin?!”
At that, somehow, your temper immediately went down. You blinked owlishly, confused at what did that statement mean and how it came to be. You gaped, “What? Huh? How come?”
In front of you, Aryu—still in pigtails, eye cover still on his forehead all while wearing the bright ‘#1 OSHA!!!!!’ magenta custom pajama Bachira Meguru once gave him as a birthday gift—dropped his ass to the ground and waxed a poetry about style, Itoshi Rin, betrayal, also something akin to hoes before bros. With the last part, whatever desire you had to listen to him immediately evaporate to the thin air.
“Forget it,” you began. “I will really end you.”
Aryu turned his face to you, flipping his hair like some shampoo brand ambassador in the process. Dramatically, again, he proclaimed, “My darling! What has come into you?!”
“Your hair and our ruined date photo that’s what,” you replied, approaching him in a casual and lax manner—that actually translated into a walk that was as menacing as Barou Shouhei when he entered the field in Aryu’s point of view.
At your answer, your boyfriend’s eyes widened. A flash of memories flooded his mind—your sour face after every outdoor date in the last three months, your bitter smile every time you stare into the photo album. Stylishly, he understood everything. The scissors in your hand was without a doubt a weapon to part him with his hair.
“Beloved!” Aryu shouted at you, both of his hands raising up as if it could stop you. Within his hearts, he steeled himself shall it came to no choice and he should use his athletic capabilities to defend his hair—
“Oh, it seems you get it!” you stopped at your tracks, three steps away from him. You smiled sweetly, as you continued, “Then, let’s get to the point. Either I cut it or we can just break up.”
Aryu didn’t steel himself for that.
“What?!” he exclaimed. Immediately, Aryu stood back to his full height. You, who had been living under the same roof with him for quite a while, didn’t flinch even for a second. But, then again, it was you who had a sharp tool in hand.
“What do you mean what,” you deadpanned, every trace of smile vanishing away from your face. A small part of Aryu’s heart shed a tear at such loss—however, it shall be a story for another time.
“My stylish hair is part of this stylish me!” Aryu cried out as his hands clasped itself on your shoulder. He brought his face closer to you, begging, “How could you even thought of such thing?!”
Almost instantly, your face turned into an expression that was both adorable and painful for Aryu’s heart—your eyes sparkled as tears welled up in them and your lips grew into a quivering line. “I want a nice photo with you!” you cried back at him, your gaze thrown away from his. “And I’m your girlfriend! Is that so much to ask for?!”
A part of Aryu wilted at your question. To think he had become a man who made such thoughts exist within you. “Oh, my Dear…” he trailed off.
You ignored Aryu, expressing everything you had withheld within your heart for months. “I know you like your hair—but, it keeps hitting me! Sometimes it get in my mouth! Also, aren’t you a footballer?! It isn’t normal to have hair that long! And also, you spent so much time—”
“My beloved,” Aryu cut you off. Smoothly, his hands grasped both of yours as he dropped down to the floor, this time propping himself up with one knee. Gently, he took away the big scissors in your hand and put it as far as his hands would allow.
Feeling the tender stroke on the back of your palm, you finally let yourself meet his eyes again. Aryu looked at you with a determination as he once again opened his mouth, “Forgive me for making you feel in such unstylish way. However, I cannot let you, who I love, part this stylish me away from my stylish strands.”
At those words, you looked like you were about to cry. Without wasting a beat, Aryu continued quickly, unwilling to let even a drop of tear away from your eyes, “That’s why—let me propose to you a deal.”
You blinked at that, confused. Aryu silently cooed at that action, but nonetheless he had an important thing to do. Aryu slowly grabbed a part of his long hair and put it in your hand, entrapping them in between your fingers and his and Aryu knew he had made the right call.
“My beloved, from this day onwards,” he began, eyes never leaving yours. “Would you do me the honor of styling my hair to your heart contents, for every day, every time I will walk away from this house, whether it will be with your hand in mine or not?”
As Aryu finished his proposal, never once did the confusion leave your face. From the outside, as the daylight seeps from the window, Aryu could hear three series of chirping before suddenly the sound of your laugh broke out.
“Seriously?!” you tried to say in between your chortle. Aryu tried not to melt at the sight. It was both stylish and beautiful. Then, as you looked down at him and tightened your fingers around Aryu’s hair and fingers, you smiled—this time brightly and stylishly, “Sure, why not?”
Indeed, Aryu was a very happy man who did not made any wrong choice at that time.
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creganofhousestark · 2 years ago
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(Screenshots because I’m one hundred percent sure i will be blocked for stating facts that go against the op’s headcanons if i were to reblog my opinions under their post and then will proceed to rant away about the eViL aRyA sTaNs whose crime is, well, reading the books, you know?)
So, i had the misfortune of coming across this one post by @agentrouka-blog when i was going through the main tags and, god! The amount of bs i have to wade through in the name of fandom experience is concerning at this point.
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Whenever did Sansa cover for Arya? When she was declaring her as a traitor to a bloodthirsty Cersei Lannister that it was her sister with the traitor’s blood and not her after her father’s imprisonment? Or when she threw Arya under the bus at Trident?
“She blames Sansa for things she never did” dude there was never one moment where Arya blamed Sansa for things she never did. Hell, Arya didn’t blame Sansa enough. Guess it’s time to reread AGoT lol. Sansa “it’s your butcher boy’s fault for dying because he attacked the prince” is blameless y’all *mic drop*
“Violently attacks her because that’s her opportunity to blow off steam after a traumatic 4 days” yes because your sister is basically accusing of treason when the reason behind her actions was purely defense. Apparently you must be level headed in the face of your your sister refusing to be honest in a moment when the outcome (which is Mycah living or dying) depends on her word. If Sansa’s really as smart and intelligent as stansas claim then Joffrey’s actions at the Trident should’ve opened her eyes. Ned was the Hand of the King, the King’s BFF. She was under no pressure to maintain diplomacy. Hell, Ned was right by her side, reassuring her and encouraging her to speak her truth. What would’ve happened if she were honest? The betrothal would’ve been called off? Ned would’ve lost his spot at worst? Big loss, the North would have minded it’s own business as usual….and Sansa’s southern dreams would have shattered. In that moment Sansa chose her dreams and fantasies over her sister and remain blind to the kind of a monster Joffrey was.
Moreover, being focused and worried about herself and her desires is not necessarily a flaw, Sansa’s just more human. She’s got five heroes to compete against, which is why she may appear more flawed than Arya. But honestly it’s all subjective. Arya’s character is simply rich and has a hell lot more depth, that’s all.
Mostly Ned’s favouritism BRO NED CHOSE TO GIVE UP THE HONOUR HE VALUED hell he chose a traitor’s death for her and, goddammit there’s not one moment where he favoured one over the other. Do not talk about the damned flowers scene in Sansa I, Ned would’ve grinned and thanked Sansa for the same bleeding flowers. Sansa was just pissed that Ned didn’t reprimand his child for behaving like a typical 9 year old child. Which, nobility or no, is quite common in that society. Hell, we have textual evidence of Catelyn playing with LF and Lysa making mud pies at 12. It’s almost as if Sansa can’t stand anything short of Sansa 2.0 from her sister.
Arya’s miles better. Just ask GRRM. He wrote the books.
Anyways, thanks agentrouka for reminding me how brilliant of a writer George Martin is. The man picked stereotypical heroes and gave their stories not-so-stereotypical twists as their arcs progressed. An exiled powerless princess who earned it all and more through her blood sweat and tears, a non conformist noblewoman who’s gone through an extraordinary number of trials, a powerful noble dwarf unwanted by his own blood, a disabled boy with unparalleled magical potential and a bastard from two powerful, magical families who was practically thrown aside.
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yuikomorii · 2 years ago
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As a fellow Ruki stan I'd love to know how you'd rank his routes 🌸
// Sure thing! ^^
1. More Blood
You probably didn't see this coming, but I really enjoyed his MB route! I'm aware of how hated it is because of the cat scene, and while I disagree with Ruki's actions, they didn't ruin him for me. I just love how SASSY Ruki can be, even if some of his roasts are really mean, but I'm sure they're just there to make the audience laugh. I think the funniest one was when he told Yui "Today we will go home on foot. Why? Because a person such as yourself who doesn’t know how to stop when eating is very prone to put on some pounds after all.” He's so savage, and I love it, but I wouldn't want to deal with such a person in real life, lol. Aside from that, his last Ecstasy chapter was the first to make me cry, and his Vampire Ending was stunning, especially the kissing cg!
2. Chaos Lineage
Another unpopular choice because I've seen a lot of people complain about it being boring and lacking significant romantic interactions due to including his brothers too much, and while I can't say his route was very good, I still really like it! I'm glad Ruki was less obsessed with Karl there, and he seemed more relaxed and genuine overall. He even pouted at one point, which was so cuuute! I love the Mukamis, so I'm always up for family moments, and the romance was adequate, neither exaggerated nor non-existent.
3. Dark Fate
Would have given it a higher rating if Ruki hadn't been such a jerk in the first half, and what bothered me the most was how he treated his brothers. Kou had very good reasons to be mad at him, and it's already becoming frustrating because they're supposed to be best bros, yet Ruki and Kou always find a way to fight. What did I love about it? He got down on his knees and apologized to Yui for saying such horrible things. I was moved to tears by the scene in which he cried for her because I had not expected Ruki to do such a thing. Furthermore, his Vampire Ending is probably my favorite of all games; it's simply the best possible outcome for him and Yui.
4. Lunatic Parade
I don't remember much about LP, but his route was fun, and I think he was more flirty than usual there, which is a plus! Well, everyone had great LP routes in my opinion because that game was truly lighthearted!
5. Lost Eden
He was ideal in the first half of the route, but the second half irritated me greatly. Maybe I have high expectations, but are you really going to tell me that in the previous game, a "dummy" character only heard ONE thing about Karlheinz yet immediately connected all the dots about all his victims, realizing that he's truly the root of all evil because he was using everyone for his selfish desires and then… there's Ruki who 1) was told by Christa that Karl was Trismegiste aka the person who ruined his life, 2) went to Romania to read about the Revolution, where Trismegiste was mentioned, 3) had his ghoul-father tell him that Karl is Trismegiste and that he slaughtered a bunch of people to make ghouls out of them only to have Ruki say this "I'm sure Karlheinz-sama regretted his actions, that's why he gave our lives back". If he had regretted, he would have rewinded time long ago. I'm aware that different writers exist, but they should be more careful when writing these parallels because it can cast their own characters in a negative light, since one reaction will always be better than the other. Still really liked the lore and the fact Rejet learnt something about Romanian history.
6. Vandead Carnival
I enjoy VC as a game, but Ruki was a little too stiff for my liking. It wasn't bad, but I felt like Ruki was babysitting Yui for almost the entire route. :”)
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jaxieus · 1 year ago
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ive written this three times but tumblr keeps messing up and undoing all the writing i did :'(
but i wont let it discourage me! ive got a lot to say about the art i made even though its messy sketches on mspain(t) XD
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i had been feeling burnt out and decided to draw comfort characters ( some that ive not drawn in a long time or have acknowledged but never drew before) and the carebears is a franchise thats been with me for so long i made a whole painting for class about it!
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i made a list and with utter shock i realized that i basically bacame my owm worts enemy! the list grew so much (and is still growing :')) and i only drew a few characters so far
i know ill render these soon but the others will take a while
(but im really concerned about how im gonna tag this without being obnoxious 🥲)
i have like alot to say about these characters i drew because they mean so much to me and i never really could delve into them at school.
theres more i want to say and its under the cut! :D
so this is gonna get a lil personal but hopefully not too much to the point its boring ,:)
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the first character i want to talk about is Ursula. i remember when i was younger being increadibly infatuated with her. i would draw her whenever i could. on chalkboards, the wall, i made paper cut-out of her and digitally drew her on ms paint! she was the first character that a had a desire to be close to in a way. a character albeit evil felt comforting and till this day make me tear up from how beautiful her design is! Ursula was the first female character i felt a strong aesthetic attraction to. (im just kinda a sucker for powerful women)
so i made sure to stay true to her design by keeping her body type and tentacles. basically just switching her hands and head to the carebears design (im still deciding whether or not to keep her hair)
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second has to be Rosalina. she really made me accept and realize that i did have an attraction to the same sex ':) i loved playing as her in smash bros, listening/watching her story in galaxy. i never really 'got' the whole thing but reflecting and growing as a person did make me realize that not just fictional men look great but women too!
her design is based on the carebear cousins because the main thing was the mane! you dont really see a bear with a long loc covering its eye so having her different from the others i think gives good variety
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third King Candy. oka y i recently feel back inlove with him! mostly because of @/ blackthewolf17's drawings of him!! and that made me rewatch the movie and wow! i remember liking his character a while back but i never really appreciated his as a villain! watching the movie and seeing the art made me remember the discussions i had with my fam about liking him and them not really understanding. (its kinda a running theme with a lot of the characters i like)
i wanted the characters the pop out and look recognizable. i kept the crown and collar. his belly badge is a paper covering his original badge! this one shows the crown and a few bits of candy. (leaning into the fact that he doesnt belong)
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next is NME SalesGuy for Four. (such a clever name) this dude is literally a character that i was shocked by his stature! i mean what did i expect? falling for a dude that exudes tall energy but is literally a short king! this dude was there during some cool family times while watching right back at ya!
while looking for references, i found i cb comic and i loved how their legs looked. it wasnt bent like the originals on the cards and i thought they looked really goofy! so i went with that with the design becasue he just doesnt really fit with everyone elses stlye
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fifth Rick Sanchez. man, this old man. has been with me through a lot. i saw a poster if the show before it premiered and two years after, i watched it and ive obsessed over him so much i made people watch Rick and Morty so i could talk with them about it. R&M really got me back onto tumblr because it was my entire personality since the show was at its peak and after. (old men tsk tsk) i made OCs Self inserts and played the mobile game. i literally memorized episodes to recite as i went to sleep. and analyzed frames of my fave episode to get better at animation!
i gave Rick clothes because i wanted him to have some flair. iconic elements of him is his tousled hair, coat and alcohol. (hes drinking 'happy juice')
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Sixth is Coach Brunt. a girlboss of a villain! she took care of and orphan and made her feel like she was her own! shes determined, strong, fierce, fit, has a great voice, money, and kind. what more could a girl ask for?? this was another character that i had seen while watching CS with the fam. (still havent completed it tho)
i did break the rule and give her a tuft of hair also ':/ but i like her BB i gave her.
its a paw punching a heart (maybe too violent)
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Seventh is Johan liebert. i really loved this dude. the series just made me think more about human nature and nurture. i met some cool people becasue of this dude. Johan in a way made me cope with the problems that happened in my life. he really was the character that i also found out i was ace+aro. i just loved drawing him. filling pages of my sketchbook and centering english papers based around him and the lessons i learned from seeing the bad in his character and how people might turnout to be similar and how it can be a problem. (idk if it made sense, but i learned to appreciate humanity more and not be so headstrong and become blinded by my views. but also learning that its good for people to know whats coming for the people that wronged you)
Johans BB is painted on white, so you wouldnt be able to see what he is all about :)
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theres is so much already but eighth is Senpai. this Fker is my worst enemy, just like all the characters i drew soo much of this guy that i thought i was gonna go crazy, there was a pang in my chest when the drawings looked like trash. he was the character that made me want to get better at art and engage more with people. i made a fnf OC to be this dudes father. (it was some of the most wholesome thing i ever drew)
Senpai has a more basic design. he also has his identifying elements like the backpack and mic
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ninth is Saul. my bbg. it started with the character but sadlt turned into a full obsession over Bob Odenkirk and finding all of his shows and movies that he directed of acted in. thankfully im not deep into it anymore. but when i regularly used instagram, you could see the decent into madness for him. i made animations and really detailed fanart. if Sen got me to draw my fave better, Bob made me attempt to perfect it.
his design sadly is my weakest. i wanted to add some fake hair on him. but im sure you can see that i got lazy. a few weeks ago i made versions of the BRBA&BCS cast as Geronimo Stilton characters and (sad excusee) but i didnt want to put more into the design because i became drained from looking at the growing list D;<
his BB is based on themis :)
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tenth is Big Jack Horner. i love this man. i ironically said "he was the hottest character in the movie" on my third watch and man i actually believed it on the way out of the theatre. i wanted to see if anyone liked him like i did and to my surprise people did! this dude has such a great bod, voice, attitude and like many of the characters i like i ask, "is there any proof of death? i dont think so".
i havent drawn him in months and i dont like that i havents so he was the first bear i drew. his BB is a pie but i think ill add his insignia or have him draw on it like Oopsie bear to fit his situation.
like maybe something silly like a frowning face on his BB
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im going to put eleven and twelve together because both play a similar role. my two men of science. ive only recently started to like Medic and Scudworth. these two bring such a great jot to me just like all to kooky men i like as well.
sadly, they both look the same, the only thing differentiating them is the glasses. i love their voices and design.
i ahve yet to give Scudsy his own BB tho.
last thing i want to say is why i chose carebears as the main style.
the franchise has been with me since i can even remember or at least before i could comprehend what it was. i remember seeining either oopsie or good luck bear plush at a carnival and i really wanted it but it was closing and i mean it was probably bigger than me so i couldnt get it and it became an obsession of mine! i loved green and a already had a few at home whats one more? so i tried to drop hints at my mom. well as good as a 5-7 yr old could do with drawings.
theres a lot more to say but i might go one for so long it wont fit here!
this was very long and if you read it thank you very much! im glad i got to comfortably speak my mind (well write it) in my own way that did have structure but felt more personal and less embarrassing that my english teacher asking me to write something about myself and my life. or my Art teacher saying i have the freedom to create something but then talk about it with in a time span because im not the only one that has something good to say about their art.
im not sure if all of it was understandable and might've been really unnecessary but im glad either way.
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