#bro got shit from EVERYBODY
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hay-bails · 23 hours ago
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i know i’m a true kaladin sicko because on my first read of radiance, i was worried he WOULDN’T ask for a boon
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mrmeepsmadmind · 30 days ago
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rewatching this over and over again.. mainly bcs tarn makes soundwave into a manlet but also bcs it's hilarious
#thunderhowl at the copilot doing Absoluteky nothing then being surprised when shadowstriker is unfamiliar with the terrain: :D#i get ure a theater kid but CAN U STOP BEING SO CRYPTIC#bumblebee moving to the wall like the only smart person#optimus just wants to find the source#had to include soundwave being the bitchiest person for no reason at the end of course 🩵 mi lady#somebody help tarn bro only has one arm 😭😭#hes not even using it against a wall or anything like hes just trying to keep his balance#everybody panicking while shadowstriker doesnt give a fuck#girlboss shit she does every day and no one cares it pisses me off yall need to appreciate my mean lesbian like yall appreciate her mean gay#bestie#thunderhowl :) bcs he wants soundwave to struggle probably. i mean at the cost of others maybe risking a concussion? sure#theyre both so petty but try to act too cool to be in their own lame ways. im obsessed with them#he was hoping soundwave was gonna land in his lap 💔#somehow from all the way back there LMFAO if his terrains can defy gravity so can his beloved annoyance ok. he believes#im a filthy multishipper so i need tarn and soundwave to have more fic & kiss too bcs it's literally tarn being like I Know What You Are#(a Bttm) to soundwave and soundwave having to screw his lips into a smile & be like teehee of course.. only to be like (u forgot the Brat*)#at the end like. why are they like that. tarn holding him by the waist with 1 arm being like i got u bbgirl meanwhile hes getting#60000 concussions and soundwave is trying So hard not too laugh.. TOO loudly. (tarn thinking hes so anime protag rn)#tf cyberverse#soundwave#tarn#thunderhowl#shadowstriker#bumblebee#optimus prime#maccadam#transformers#I CANT BELIEVE I HAD ENOUGH ROOM FOR THESE TAGS!
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wasteland-lover · 1 year ago
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pics from like two days ago
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urgentkettle · 4 months ago
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Anybody have a screen shot of that post about a techbro trying to replace AA with an app after never talking to an alcoholic ever? That’s what all this feels like to me. On top of! Already running out of data to train on! So they are already talking about creating artificial data to feed back into the computer centipede. What a shit show
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(full article here)
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a9saga · 17 days ago
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i know i said the men on big brother 5 are pigs but after jase and scott go its honestly fine. marvin is a better guy than some of his comments about women in the first few episodes suggested, which his own mother up and said she disapproved of which i respect her for. but for real he's been quite decent and a good player. oh my god diane is pissing me off
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princessmyriad · 4 months ago
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As someone with a hobby of linguistics i find very few words to be genuinely upsetting because i understand that language is changeable and moldable as it should be but when i see the word 'moot' it makes me wanna throw up
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whatever-souls-are-made-of · 4 months ago
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Everybody in the HOTD tag needs to take a massive step back this is a fictional show about fictional people
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midnightwriter21 · 7 months ago
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jjk hcs: toji & inumaki as boyfriends
characters: toji fushiguro & toge inumaki
warnings: slight toji slander hehe, nothing else i think?
an: read gojo & nanami version HERE read yuji, yuta, and megumi version HERE
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TOJI FUSHIGURO
lord he is too fine
i’m so sorry for the toji simps myself included
cause you have the most nonchalant boyfriend to ever exist
he’s one of the “babe relaaaaxxxx. it’s not even a big deal.” boyfriends
and that’s cause for toji…. nothing is ever a big deal
unlessssss *wink wink*
unless you happen to be in danger
bc then toji is doing whatever it takes to make you safe
and i do mean whatever it takes
don’t expect fancy dates that take a lot of effort
toji’s version of a “fancy” date is taking you to the food court at the mall
and by taking you i mean he walks with you there and then makes you pay for the food
broke ass
he doesn’t really care about pda
toji does what toji wants
if he wants to pull you into his lap in the middle of a meeting with a client?
then he’s pulling you into his lap tf
and you’re gonna sit there until the meeting is over
if he wants to stick his tongue down your throat in the middle of a park?
he’s finding y’all a nice comfy bench to sit on and he’s pulling you in to meet his lips
toji WILL go radio silent out of nowhere
sometimes you’ll go days
maybe even weeks
without hearing from him
he always turns back up though
he’s like the stray dog that you start leaving food out for that disappears and reappears at will
he’s got nicknames for dayyysssss
but you never know what context he’s using them in
for example:
princess (derogatory)
brat (affectionate)
yeah anyways 10/10 would let him treat me like shit
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TOGE INUMAKI
*sigh* he’s so baby girl sugarplum gumdrop angel face pookie bear handsome boy
so uh let’s address the obvious here…
mans can’t physically converse with you
BUT
inumaki is 100% the best of the jjk boys when it comes to communication!!
whether y’all talk using sign language, texting, a dry erase board, etc.
he is great when it comes to discussing feelings/ problems/ literally anything else
just uh… not verbally
now jjk usually portrays gojo and yuji as comedic relief
but inumaki? is a CLOWNNNNN
swear
i just know he’s funny asf
his facial expressions have to be top tier
and just imagine everybody having a lil sorcerer meeting. everybody is super serious and then you just hear “tuna mayo” come from the corner
bruh i would not be able to contain myself i would laugh til i cried
inumaki is stage 5 clinger!!!
bro is so open with the pda
he uses pda as an excuse to show you off brag
he spots some guys eyeing you from across the street?
he’s slipping his hand in your back pocket, giving you a lil squeeze and shooting them a smug smirk
and he is SMOOTHHHHH
bro can’t even speak to you but everything he does is so smooth
ong his rizz is top tier
as for nicknames…
since he can’t say normal words I like to think he’d find the name of a food that he can call you as a replacement lol
ex. when u blush he calls you out on it by poking your cheek and calling you “tomato”
boyyyy if you don’t find a cuter food name to call me
yeah i love him
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henry7931 · 3 months ago
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Got Your Body B*tch!
Drew:
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This is Marco, he’s a raging asshole (for a lack of better words). I’ve known him all of my life, down to when we were young kids. And he’s always been a huge pain.
Marco, is the type of guy who’s cocky, always gets what he wants, comes from really nice rich parents, and incredibly insensitive.
He’s been that way forever.
I thought I was done with him when I left to go to college. That was until I walked in to my college apartment and saw Marco unpacking bags.
“Drewphus! I didn’t know you’re my roomie. You’re going to have to leave the apartment when bring a girl over, okay? Oh also, no touching my shit. I don’t want you get poverty all over it.”
If looks could kill in a moment, I swear Marco would be dead on the ground right now.
“I’m kidding…. Well, kinda. So here is your space, I hope you don’t mind but i already called the bigger bedroom since i was here first.”
“That’s fine Marco,�� I say biting my tongue.
“Great, well have fun unpacking whatever you got in those two suit cases. I’m gonna have some private Marco time if you know what I mean”
Marco makes a jerking off hand gesture, I just roll my eyes and head into my new room.
A few hours past after I unpack and settle in, I order a pizza for dinner and lay back in bed.
All I can think about is how I’m about to have to live in the same quarters as Marco. The same guy I cant stand to be around.
Ugh…
So just like I always do when I get this stressed— it’s time to jerk off. (Something I’m sure Marco has already done 12 times today)
I checked my phone to see how much time I have until the pizza arrives, one hour. Great!
I pull off my shorts and open up my laptop. I feel a little embarrassed to admit this but I the kind of porn I like isn’t for everyone. I have a foot fetish. And not just that I this thing for jock athletes and their feet. I hate how much it turns me on especially since it’s guys like Marco that really get me going.
I start scrolling through and see this really hot jock with big feet. I click on his page. His username says AlphaAlex, he’s tan, dirty brown curly hair, six pack, big muscles…
I start mentally picturing him with me in the room, fantasizing him taking off his sneakers and dirty gym socks in front of me.
He says to me, “Hey Drew, do you mind rubbing my feet? I’ve had a really long practice and they are killing me.”
He puts them on my lag and says, “sorry if they stink!”
He lets me rub them and I ask him if I can smell them…
He says, “Sure, you can do whatever you want with them. After you’re done with my big jock feet, do you mind massaging my cock next?”
I stare deeply into AlphaAlex’s massive bulge on the screen. Almost about to nut…
“BRO!!! WHAT THE F*CK DREWFUS! I KNEW YOU WERE A HOMO BUT YOU’RE A FOOT FREAK TOO?”
Cum squirts onto my chest just as I turn to see Marco standing at my door with his cellphone recording in hand.
“MARCO!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?”
“Bro, wait until I show this to everyone! Now everybody going to know you’re a foot freak!!”
“MARCO PLEASE NOOO!!!”
I hop out of bed and Marco turns around and I chase him butt naked through our apartment.
He screams, “Stop chasing me foot freak!!!”
Marco shuts the door and I feel my stomach turn. I beg him to delete the video but he doesn’t respond.
As I go back to my room, I cry into my pillow… I feel so mortified.
I lay back, wiping my tears and say, “If someone could hear me, I wish I can get revenge on Marco. No I want more! I want everything Marco has…”
I cry myself to sleep, nervous for what the next day had in store for me.
The next morning, I wake up feeling kinda off. It takes me a second but I realize that somehow I’m not in my room!
In a panic, I rush to get out of bed until I come across a mirror.
That’s when I see Marco’s reflection looking back at me!!!
“Holy shit!!”
I feel a moment of fear hit me… but then I remember my wish last night. Someone out there listened to me.
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I look at Marco’s face and then down at his body. Hes a dick but…. He is hot…
I pull off Marco’s shorts he slept in and his 10 inch hard morning wood comes flopping out.
“Holy fuck…”
I grasp it in Marco’s hand, which I guess is my hand now?
Nervous, yet kinda excited, I wasn’t sure what to do.
I looked down at the throbbed cock in my new new hands and immediately start jerking off.
I hop back into Marco’s bed and bring his foot up to his face. He actually has some sexy feet!
I start licking his foot from heal to toe. I relish in knowing the fact that he would go insane if he saw me with his body right now.
I keep tugging away at his cock and this maybe the best jerk off session in my life.
I twist Marco’s nipple and let out a soft moan.
“Fuckkk Marco your nipples are sooo sensitive,” I say aloud.
Hearing his voice sends me into a frenzy, just the thought that I can say anything, do anything as him. I have complete control of this dickhole!
I stand up out of bed and dash to the mirror, I grin at his reflection and jerk his cock even faster.
“Drew, it feels soo good, keep jerking my cock Drew. My body belongs to you now, my big feet, my sensitive nipples, my sexy abs… FUCKKKK THIS IS SOOO HOTTTT!!!”
I nearly screaming by this point and I feel every muscle in Marco’s body tighten.
I’m tugging so fast now and then cum sprays all over the place.
I fall back onto Marco’s bed covered in his nut. I look at his covered hand and lick it clean.
I lay back and gently rub his fingers back and forth on his stomach up to his chest.
Then reality started to sink….
Wait, if I’m Marco… what happened to my body?
“AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”
I hear a distant familiar scream coming from the background.
“Oh shit…”
Heavy footsteps coming charging my direction and before I can even get up the door slams open.
Out of the door is my body…
My eyes get big, I don’t think I’ve ever been that angry. My face is blood red and he starts to charge at me.
“Hold up!” I say hopping on top of the bed.
“DREW YOU PIECE OF SHIT IM GOING TO END YOU!!”
He balls up a fist and starts to pull back. Before he can reach me I grab the balled fist.
I guess Marco’s body has quicker reflex’s.
I pull him in and toss him on the bed. I pin him down and say, “I’m a lot stronger than you now. You wanna talk instead?”
“F YOU!!!”
I twist my former weaker arm and he shouts out, “OWWW SHIT, FINNNE!!!”
I get hop off my body and let him turn over.
He glances me over and says, “did you just jerk off in my body?”
I look down at the undeniable evidence.
“Yeah, I did. It was amazing.”
“You piece of—”
I look down and notice the tent in my boxers.
“Wait are you turned on right now?” I say to him.
“NO IM NOT!”
“You have a very noticeable boner right now.”
“Shut up! No I don’t!”
“What was it for you? Seeing your body all naked? Or was it when I pinned you down?”
He says nothing to me, just looks away.
“I mean you have very hot body Marco, theirs no shame in being turned on by it. Hell, I can’t stand you and I just had the best jerk off session in my life. What’s getting all hot and bothered? Is your hairy pits?” I hold his armpit up and step closer to him.
“Or maybe it’s the sight of your own cock.” I say shaking his semi-hard dick at him.
I move even closer to him. He looks like he’s in a trance.
“Oh you know what always gets me hard. Big manly feet,” I kick his foot up and show it to him.
I place his foot on my former bulge and start rubbing it.
“Does that feel good?”
He still say nothing but lets me keep going.
I push him further on the bed and pull off the brief I went to bed in my last.
My dick comes out standing straight up and leaking from the tip.
I place his foot on it and start toying with it using his toes.
He lets out a moan.
I look at my former face and he’s so turned on right now.
I pull his foot away and he says softly, “please don’t stop…”
“Oh you don’t want me to stop?”
“No… please Drew… it’s throbbing…”
“Well you’re gonna have to finish the job yourself, I’m going to shower and head to the pool.”
“WHAT!??”
“Yeah the pools still open, got to make the most out of these last few warm days Drew.”
“YOU!!! Drew, you can’t just leave me like this!!! I want my body back right now!”
“Sorry DREW! But this wasn’t my doing necessarily. If anything this is karma for you being such a prick all these years. Now run along and go take care of that boner little gay boy.”
I look at the corner of Marco’s room and see his dirty sock.
“Oh here you go! A gift from me to you, enjoy!”
I give my former throbbing dick a pat and I run off to the shower, leaving Marco in his mixed emotional state.
I rinse off quickly and come back out, I walk back into Marco’s room and see he’s still on the bed— sniffing the dirty sock and wanking one out.
“Oh fuck you’re back already!” he says to me.
He looks so pathetic right now.
“Geez, just stay right where you are.”
I drop the towel and get into bed with him. I grab my former cock and push it into Marco’s throat.
“HOLY!!!!” he screams out.
I suck off my former body while Marco’s moans frantically.
I feel him running my former hands in his hair and I feel myself getting a little excited from it. It’s kinda hot being this aggressive and sucking my former body off.
He lets out a loud grunt and cums down my new throat.
“Better?,” I say whipping the excess cum off my mouth.
“God yeah,” he says taking heavy breaths.
I look at my former body in the eyes and for a split second I thought about kissing him. But then reality sinks in… that’s still Marco inside.
I get out of bed and say, “I’m heading down to the pool.”
I put on his bathing suit and he says to me, “Drew, I’m sorry for being such a dick.”
“I know you are,” I say back.
“Can we try to fix this?”
“I’m sorry to Marco but I don’t think we fix this, these may be our bodies forever. So you might as well get comfortable.”
I left him sitting in his now former room naked and silent.
When I get down to the pool it doesn’t take me long to notice others noticing me.
Some girls and some guys, I look over at some of the guys and even wink at one. He is super cute and fit.
I hop on to a float and lay back soaking up the sun. I wait to see if that guys going to make a move when the ultimate buzz kill shows up.
It’s Marco in my body.
“Sup,” he says to me.
“Just trying to relax.”
“Yeah well, we still need to talk.”
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“We don’t now f*ck off.”
He rolls his eyes and walks over a chair by the pool.
Soon that guy from earlier comes over.
“Hey, what’s up?” he says to me with a grin.
“Just laying out wait for you to come over,” I say with a smirk.
“Oh is that so?” he says flirtatiously.
He gets into the pool and now he’s right next to me.
“I’m Lois.”
“Marco,” I say introducing myself to him.
“So do you live here?”
“Yeah I’m on the second floor.”
“Nice, I’m on the third.”
We flirt and have small talk for a minute until he asks me out.
“Sure you wanna do tonight?” I say to him.
“Oh man, yeah I’m down,” he tries not to be too excited.
“Great, let’s say 7?”
“Yeah 7 works for me.”
“Cool,” I say grinning at him.
I peak out of the corner of my eye and see my Marco coming up to the pool.
“What are you doing?” he says to me.
“Oh hey Drew, this is my roommate.”
“Oh nice, I’m—”
“Don’t care dude, I need to talk to you Marco.”
“Uh okay, sorry Lois. I’ll see you tonight?”
“Yeah for sure!”
I get out of the pool and walk back to the apartment with Marco angry.
“What was that?” he says sternly.
“None of your business! Also you were just so f*cking rude!”
“I don’t care! You were flirting with that guy!”
“Yeah so? We are going on a date tonight.”
“WHAT?!?”
“Yeah, and you interrupted it.”
“You’re going on a date with a guy in my body?!?”
“It’s my body now and yes I am!”
“But… but you just sucked me off and…”
“And what? You thought that was something special?”
“OF COURSE NOT! I’M NOT GAY!”
“Well what you did a few hours ago seemed pretty gay to me.”
“Yeah that’s because I’m in your gay body and plus that’s my body. It’s kinda like masterbation.”
“Whatever man, I really don’t care. If you want to pretend to be straight that’s fine. But I’ll be honest, I think you’ve always had feelings for guys. I know because I’m in your body and I’m still attracted to men.”
“SHUT UP!!!”
“So it’s true, you’ve been a dick to me my entire life about my sexuality, what I like, and it turns out you have some pinned up jealousy towards me right?”
Marcos looking down at the ground.
“We could have been friends, do you not get that?!? We could have—”
Marco grabs me and kisses me.
I was so shocked and I even felt butterflies in my stomach. We kiss for a few minutes before I pull back.
“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?”
“I’m sorry Drew! I was never going to do all of that stuff. I… I don’t know how to say this… I like you. I like you a lot. Hell, I thought about kissing you just about every time I went to kiss any girl. But I have so much anger and you’re right I am jealous! I’m jealous that you’re out and proud of yourself. You’re so confident! Fuck!!”
“So why put me through so much!?!! I mean look at us, we’re literally trapped as each other now! All of this could have been prevented if you just owned up.”
“I thought… I thought you would have hated me so much that you would tell everyone the truth about me. So… I just, I was a prick.”
“Damn right you were!”
“Sorry… again.”
“It’s fine, I guess I’m sorry for causing this body swap thing between us. I made some wish last night to get back at you. I didn’t think it would become anything but then woke up as you.”
His eyes get big, “so that’s how this happened?”
“Yeah, I guess something out in the universe was listening in and heard me.”
“That’s nuts.”
“Yeah it is.”
“Well if we are being honest about everything. I wasn’t just turned on by you dominating me upstairs. I was freaked out and yet turned on from being inside of you.”
“Really? My body?”
“Yeah Drew, you’re cute. You have an adorable face, cute slim figure, you’re charming yet kinky.”
“Wow.”
“And now I guess we are going to have to be each other forever?”
“Yeah I guess so.”
“Well if I had to be anyone else, I’m glad it’s you.”
“You mean that?”
“I do.”
I grinned at him and he smiles back at me. We both start to laugh.
“Are you still going on a date with this Lois guy?”
“Well not if an adorable guy who’s charming yet kinky stops me.”
“I guess that’s me now isn’t it?”
“Yep!”
“Well I can’t fully stop you but I can tell you this. If you don’t go—we can order take out, lay in bed together, and fool around all night.”
“Hmmmm… that sounds promising.”
“Plus, I know my body really well. And I can tell you no one knows how to make that body feel as good as I do.”
“Is that so?”
He walks closer to me seductively and Im starting to get hard again.
“I’ll nibble on those nipples, toy around with my balls…I bet you these hands are going to feel so good working that cock..”
He reaches into my bathing suit and I gasp.
“Fuckkk, I guess I’ll be staying tonight,” I say barely getting words out.
“Hell yeah!!!”
3 Months Later:
“Babe, are you packed? We got to be at your parents in a couple of hours… Babe?”
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“Hi”
“Are you kidding?”
“We have time for a quick round, sides I’ll jerk you off using these sexy toes,” I say wiggling my feet at my boyfriend.
“Fuckkk… I guess we have time.”
Marco pulls off his shirt and I see the definition built into my former chest. He’s been hitting the gym a lot lately and everyday he’s looking sexier and sexier.
Marco pulls off his shorts and he’s already hard from these feet. It works like a charm every time.
I watch as my boyfriend grabs the foot that used to belong to him and he kisses every toe.
It’s crazy how quick the time had flown since we woke up as each other. I guess it helps that we are so in love with one another.
I start rubbing the cock that used to belong to me and now I’m hard.
“Babe, you are so talented with those toes… mhmmm that feels good.”
I use both feet and stroke back and forth.
He stops me for a second and plants my foot on his face.
“Did you work today without any socks on?”
“Hell yeah I did.”
He takes a big sniff of them.
“Fuckkk, I love you.”
“I love you too.”
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jungle-angel · 4 months ago
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Four Generations (Bob Floyd x Reader)
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Summary: Imagine everybody's surprise when four generations of Floyd men suddenly show up at the base one day and Jake's shock that Bob has a wife
Warnings: Pregnancy, parenthood, the Floyd men definitely fuck, Bob's mom is a MILF etc.
Tagging: @floydsmuse @floydsglasses @withahappyrefrain @rhettabbotts @callmemana @attapullman
"Dumbest training exercise ever!" Natasha groaned.
"And of course this is where our fuckin taxpayer dollars are going," Rooster complained.
"At least it's over and we can go home," Hangman told them.
"Yo guys, check this out," Coyote said suddenly.
The sight of two older men making their way up the tarmac with a small, bespectacled child came into view. Beside them was a very obviously pregnant young lady, no doubt the mother of the child that one of the men carried.
"Who the hell are they?" Natasha wondered.
"Beats me," Rooster answered. "Maybe somebody's relatives?"
The four of them caught sight of Bob, still in his flight suit, hurrying to meet them. The younger of the two men set the small child right down on the ground, the little guy running right to Bob who scooped him up and threw him into a fit of giggling.
"No.......fucking.......way......." Hangman chuckled.
"So does that mean.......?"
"Yep," Natasha laughed.
Bob soon made his way over with the small group, smiling at the bemused faces of his fellow pilots. "Ya'll look confused," he said to them.
"I just.......we didn't think that......" Coyote stammered.
"What?" Bob chuckled. "That it was just me?"
The sheepish looks on their faces said it all.
"Well," Bob said. "Maybe this is the time for introductions. This is my dad, my grandpa and my lovely, lovely wife (y/n). And this little guy, is August Robert."
The four pilots were surprised to say the least, Bob's father and grandfather? A wife and kids? Bob had never talked about any of them before.
As soon as the day was done, everyone had met at The Hard Deck for dinner and a beer. Getting to know each other had been interesting to say the least.
"You Goose's kid?" Joe Floyd asked him.
"Yes sir," Rooster replied.
"I used to fly with your old man," Joe explained. "Flew with Mav and Iceman and all the rest of'em, callsign 'was 'Rabbit'."
"Why'd they call you Rabbit?" Natasha asked.
"Take a guess," Bob chuckled, munching on his fries.
"Bob's Ma and I already had a mess of kids by the time I was stationed out here," Joe explained. "I'd get back from a deployment and the next thing I knew, she'd tell me she was pregnant. Starting to think the boy's taking after me."
Everyone laughed but Bob was blushing with embarrassment. "How many siblings does he have?" Natasha asked.
"Eight," Joe said with a shit eating grin. "Four boys, four girls. Bob's the youngest."
"Jeez Bob!" Hangman exclaimed.
"Oh that's nothing," (y/n) told him. "Lowell, which one is Joe again?"
"Seventh of thirteen," Lowell answered with a laugh.
"WOAH!!!"
"Jeez!"
"Holy shit!"
"Yep, his Ma and I had thirteen," Lowell laughed.
A woman walked into the bar, catching the eyes of the Daggers, her white sundress swishing against her knees and a denim jacket tied around her waist. Joe got up to meet her, placing a chaste kiss right on her lips.
Coyote was the next to get up, asking to see Bob in private for a minute. The two of them slipped into the men's room where hopefully no one would hear them.
"Dude ya'll didn't tell me your mom was a MILF!!!" he whispered sharply.
"And why would I tell you that?" Bob questioned.
"Bro ya'll could've warned us!" Coyote told him. "I was not expecting to get half a stiff at the dinner table when she walked in."
"AW FUCK! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!" Bob exclaimed.
"I'm sorry dude."
"Man that's my mom!!!!" Bob groaned in disgust. "You're a sick motherfucker Javy."
************************
When everyone had finished and were heading home for the night, you and Bob buckled Auggie into his little carseat and made your way home.
"Did he really?" you asked when Bob told you about the bathroom conversation.
"Oh yeah, it was pretty gross," Bob chuckled.
You laughed. "I know your mom well enough," you told him. "She's sweet and innocent and all, but man. I remember when you and I got married and she gave me so much info that I thought she was Stifler's Mom."
You and Bob laughed the whole way home, Auggie still asleep in the back and your unborn son kicking away in your belly. You were glad to have met the rest of the Daggers, hoping with all hope that the family bonds would deepen and become unbreakable.
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luvzshy · 11 days ago
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I’d really like something like billie and reader are together for a while now, everybody supports them but ONE friend of billie. they managed the situation but when billie surprisingly proposes this friend decides to talk to billie and declare her feelings, while doing it reader arrives in the room and shit hit the fan lol billie being the good fiancée we know she’ll be gets on reader side ofcccc
am i crazy? you can say so
The Confession That Almost Broke Us
Word Count: 1,130 words
Warnings: Angst, jealousy, unrequited love, emotional confrontation
a/n: okay so this is interestinggggg i love drama bro and if i was lana maaann, i would be crashing out 😭😭
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You and Billie had been together for almost two years now, and life was good. You fit into her world like you’d been meant to be there all along. Billie’s friends and family had embraced you with open arms, thrilled to see her so happy and grounded. But there was always one person who seemed a little distant—Lana. She was one of Billie’s oldest friends, always hanging around on the periphery, smiling politely and keeping her comments to herself. You’d tried to shake off the weirdness between you, but sometimes, when she’d look at Billie, you couldn’t help but feel a chill of something… off.
Whenever you’d bring it up to Billie, she’d just laugh and brush it aside. “That’s just Lana being Lana,” she’d say. “She’s always been a little intense.”
You trusted Billie, so you didn’t push it. After all, no relationship is perfect, and if one friend wasn’t thrilled, you’d manage. Still, there were times when you felt Lana’s eyes on you, something guarded and closed-off, like she was holding onto a secret.
It all came to a head one night, when Billie planned a small gathering at your place to celebrate the anniversary of her first album release. Friends, family, a few close people from the industry—it was an intimate, warm night, with laughter and drinks flowing. Everyone crowded into your living room, sharing memories, laughing over stories from Billie’s early touring days, and just soaking up the celebration.
As the night wore on, Billie got quiet. She held your hand tightly, glancing around the room with a smile that seemed… different, more nervous than you were used to. Then, without warning, she stood up and faced you, holding your hand tightly. She took a deep breath, and your heart stopped as she dropped down on one knee.
The room fell silent. You could see wide-eyed smiles and gasps all around you, but all you could focus on was Billie. She looked up at you with a mix of nervousness and warmth, her fingers gently squeezing yours.
“Y/N,” she said, her voice shaky but steady. “You have made me happier than I ever thought I could be. Being with you… it’s like, every day, I’m the luckiest person in the world. And I can’t imagine my life without you.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small velvet box, popping it open to reveal a beautiful, sparkling ring. “Will you marry me?”
The room burst into cheers and applause, but for you, it all faded into the background. With tears in your eyes, you nodded, overwhelmed with joy. “Yes! Of course, yes!”
Billie stood up and kissed you, pulling you close as your friends and family gathered around, congratulating you both, hugging and laughing and celebrating.
Everyone, that is, except Lana. She stood off to the side, her expression a mixture of shock and something else… pain, maybe? Her face was tight, and she didn’t join in the celebration. Billie seemed to notice, too, glancing her way with a slight frown before shaking it off and pulling you back into the moment.
The rest of the evening flew by in a blur of laughter, toasts, and shared joy. You tried to shake off the moment with Lana, chalking it up to shock or maybe just jealousy. But later that night, when Billie left the room to get something from the kitchen, Lana slipped away, following her.
Curious, you hung back, deciding to give them a moment. But then you heard hushed voices coming from the other room. Lana’s voice, choked with emotion, drifted toward you.
“Billie, I need to talk to you,” she was saying. “Please, just… listen. I’ve been holding this in for so long, and I can’t anymore. I have feelings for you. I’ve always had feelings for you. I thought, maybe… one day, you’d see that I was the one who was supposed to be by your side. And now, seeing you with her, seeing you propose… I can’t take it anymore.”
There was a long, painful silence before Billie spoke, her voice low but resolute. “Lana… I’m sorry. I love you, but not in that way. You’re my friend, and you’ve always been special to me. But Y/N is the one I’m in love with. She’s the one I want to spend my life with.”
You couldn’t hold back any longer. You walked into the room, your heart pounding as Lana turned, startled to see you there. Her face flushed, and she looked away, clearly mortified. Billie’s eyes met yours, filled with concern and apology.
“Y/N,” Billie said softly, moving to your side. She took your hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “You know I’m with you. I’ll always be with you.”
Lana stammered, looking down at the floor, realizing the weight of what she’d just done. “I… I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I just… I thought maybe…”
You took a deep breath, trying to find words that would hold the peace but also express your hurt. “Lana, I understand this might be hard for you. But Billie chose me. We’re building a life together.”
Lana nodded, eyes downcast, her shoulders slumping. “I know. I’m sorry. I just… I’ll go.”
Without another word, she left the room, leaving you and Billie alone. Billie turned to you, her hands gentle on your face, her eyes filled with love. “You’re my everything, Y/N. No one could ever come between us.”
You wrapped your arms around her, pulling her close, feeling the security and warmth in her embrace. In that moment, you knew that whatever challenges might come your way, Billie was yours—and you were hers.
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ddaz3d-and-cc0nfused · 1 year ago
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𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘-𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓: Dry Humping w/ Spencer Reid
a/n: HEY HEY HEY!! so i am fully aware that spencer was a child during college, so this is an alternative universe where he's of the college age 💀 this is basically season one spencer cause i wanna eat him!!
masterlist | kinktober masterlist | AO3
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You didn't like how the other girls in the circle were looking at him. Their lustful eyes eating up a very nervous Spencer, the man playing with his fingers anxiously.
It was obvious that he wasn't used to being in places like this; where everyone was drunk, high or both, couples and randoms making out and practically fucking in every dark corner of the room. You never thought that you'd see The Spencer Reid, your college campus' genius, sitting in a spin the bottle circle in a random frat house.
You had no idea who convinced the poor boy that doing this was a good idea, but you would be damned if any other one of these girls were to get their hands on him. You liked him first — not just liked him — you claimed him. Everyone in your group knew that you liked him, so the fact that they had the fucking gall to look at him that way knowing you were there pissed you off.
"Alright, everybody!" A random bro shouted from on top of one of the dining room tables. "We were going to play Spin The Bottle, but I figured it'd be better if we play Seven Minutes in Heaven, seeing as though we have a special guest here with us tonight."
You knew exactly who he was talking about, and as your eyes lifted to look at Spencer, his gaze was already settled on you, but once he saw you were looking at him, he looked away bashfully. His face flushed a pretty red and so did his ears, and you could practically see the blood threatening to spill from his cuticles as he picked at them.
Your eyes narrowed at the jock angrily, every part of your body yelling at you to tend to Spencer.
But you swallowed it down.
A large group of people gathered around, and then the first spin of the night began. People were gleefully coming and going from the closet, a few of the couples manipulating the bottle so that it landed on them.
"Oh, shit!" One of the frat bros called out loudly. You looked curiously to see all eyes locked on you and Spencer, the tip pointing at you and the end pointing at him.
You must admit, you were a bit… known… around school. You wouldn't say you were popular, now that was a bit childish, but you definitely had connections in a couple different places.
The poor man looked almost frantic, looking at you then looking back down, almost as if saying you didn't have to. Oh, but you did.
"Seven minutes, pretty boy. C'mon." You said as you got up. His eyes were as big as saucers, his mouth gaping akin to like a fish would. You straightened your tight dress, reaching out a well manicured hand.
"If you want this to be over sooner then get up." You whispered sternly. He scrambled to interlock your fingers, and you lead him to the closet that was already significantly hot from the amount of bodies that had been in there already.
"We don't have to do anything you don't want to." You reassured. "No, no… I-I want to, it's just…" He babbled, wringing his hands. "It's just what?" You pushed, stepping closer to him. He gulped, backing up slightly and knocking into the shelves behind him.
"I just don't know how." He didn't know how to make you feel good, how to pleasure you. He was embarrassed to admit to the girl that he liked, who was also totally out of his league, that he was a virgin.
"Why did you come here, then?" You questioned with a slight smirk. "Because… because you were here and I wanted to uh- maybe- I don't know-" You cupped his face, stroking his cheeks.
"Kiss me then, Spence."
"Wh- what?!" He stuttered.
"I said," You spoke, your lips brushing against his, "Kiss me." He gulped, looking down at your lips back up to your eyes, then back down to your lips again.
"Okay." He breathed.
He leaned forward, albeit hesitantly, and pressed your lips together. It started out slow, but with a lot of coaxing from you, he got comfortable. Your lips moved in tandem as the room heated up. You had no idea what had come over you when you placed both of his hands on your ass.
"Touch me." You breathed heavily. Your breasts pressed tauntingly into his chest, his cock hardening embarrassingly fast. "Are you sure?" You nodded. "Please."
He tested the waters with a light squeeze before shoving your hips together. His body stuttered as a loud whine fell from his mouth. You could feel his bulge against your plush body and Spencer wanted nothing more than for the ground to swallow him whole.
"Sorry, sorry." His apologies were frantic, but your nerves burned with need. "I'm fine with you grinding on me, baby." You reassured. "In fact, I like it." Normally, you wouldn't say you carried a dominating energy with you, but it was like you wanted to swallow the poor boy whole.
"Oh, God." He whimpered, but nonetheless joined your lips back together. You slipped your plush thigh through his legs, pressing it on his cock.
His hips jutted out, and you swallowed his cry. His grips on your ass turned deathly as he humped your leg like a bitch in heat.
"That feel good?" You cooed, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear.
He nodded fastly, his lips pressed together and his eyes closed. He was lost in the feeling of the friction, perspiration beading on his hairline. You practially eat the sight of his deep red face up.
"You're mine. Alright, pretty boy?" You asked ferociously. You wrentched his head back, sinking your teeth into the sensitive skin of his neck. He nodded. "Say it." He yelped when you nipped at his adams apple.
"I'm yours, fuck- all yours!"
Your stomach twisted with a pleasant warm feeling, which only increased rapidly which you felt his thrusts grow sloppy.
"You gonna cum, honey?" You asked through your marking. "Yes, yes, yes…" He babbled. "Good. Cum all over me." He let out one last loud moan before you felt the warmth of spend seep out and onto the hem of your dress.
There was a knock on the door.
"Okay, lovebirds. Time's up!"
You smirked at the fact that Spencer was shaking like a leaf in your hold.
"After this, we are so going to my dorm." You claimed. "Yes! Yeah, yeah… yes, please." He all but shouted.
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paymechildsupport · 13 days ago
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hiii, how would you feel about a gojo x mreader sports au but they both play on the same team. Like hc’s about reader and gojo who are both on the same basketball team. I always see fics where just he’s on the team but I thought it would be interesting to see one where they both are. thanks!
Now hold on a second….
Gojo x M!Reader on the same basketball team // Hc’s
-!! SFW + NSFW hc’s,— you’re both in college
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———☆⋆。𖦹°‧★
✮ Teammate!Satoru, whom you’ve always had the most insane chemistry with. Regardless of on the court or off, everybody knows you two have SOMETHING going on —
Some of the plays you pull off shouldn’t even be possible. You’re like a two man army. The two mvp’s of every team, an unstoppable force.
Varsity ever since freshman year of high school, and now you’re both in college and doing the sport you love most of all
You’re each other’s rocks, always there for one another. When he scores the winning basket you’re the first person he hugs,— full on SPRINTS across the court to get that one high-five from his best mate
You’re pretty much a package deal at this point. Back in high school it was clear to any team recruiter that you both came together- if they wanted one of you, they’d have to take both (which, who wouldn’t want to, honestly?)
✮ Teammate!Satoru, who absolutely adored all the attention. The man was born to be in the spotlight, and reveled in the publicity you both dug up.
You’d be in the middle of practice on a water break, and you best believe Satoru has the latest viral clip of you two playing on his phone, giggling to himself. He’s saved every single edit of your plays, has an entire folder dedicated to them. He’s always super ecstatic to show you them too,
“Ohhh!! Look how cool I was in that one— oh, and there you are- OH DID YOU SEE THAT PLAY?!”
It’s not just edits of your plays though…. He has another folder, which he has dedicated to ship edits of you two. His guilty pleasure would be staying up and mindlessly scrolling through the countless ship videos fans have made of you two. Artwork, from theories, to slowmo clips of you two staring almost lovingly into eachothers’ eyes…. All for shits and giggles though! You two are just super tight homies, that’s all! Right…?
He’d play it off too, make a bunch of jokes like,
“Ha ha, fans really think we’re dating… how crazy is that? I mean, it’s not like we like each other or anything, right? Like, it’d be really funny if we kissed on the court after we win the next game, rather than just hug. It could just be like a little peck on the cheek..— as a publicity stunt, of course! It’d totally go viral— as a publicity stunt.”
(The answer was a big fat no from the media manager, much to Satoru’s disappointment)
And yes, he’s VERY aware of the surplus of fan fiction about you two, he’s probably written half of it
“hey, ever heard of omegaverse-?”
Shit, at this point he might as well have his own ship account of you two
✮ Teammate!Satoru, who is the mortal enemy of your team’s media team, who beg him , above all else, to just watch the shit he posts online. They just don’t want a huge controversy, and the team’s two star players dating eachother?! That’s just a scandal waiting to happen. The news and magazines would go absolutely feral
But, of course, true to classic Satoru style, he just doesn’t listen
His entire Instagram account is just photos of you. Has a heart around your handle in his bio (labeled, ‘my pookie <3’ ,— mf even got down on his knees and begged you to match pfp’s with him
One of his many viral photos is of you in his pinnie, reading in bed (why you were in the same bed, nobody knows)
Another has you two on a vacation in Hawaii, sunbathing with nothing but your boxers, and beach chairs a little too close
Satoru posts all of them with jokes about ‘it ain’t gay with the homies ❤️’ and ‘catching yourself being a lil’ too fruity with bro 😂’ — but it’s gotten so excessive to the point where literally nobody knows if it’s a joke anymore or not (sure as hell don’t look like it…)
He crossed a bit of a line when he posted a picture of him getting a tattoo, of your jersey number. Yeah, the manager chewed him up good for that one.
———☆⋆。𖦹°‧★
✮ Teammate!Satoru, who’ll wait a good extra forty-five minutes for everyone else on the team to pack up and leave, just so he can fuck you in the shower room
He’s just so goddamn desperate, he’s turning all the showers on, and it still isn’t enough to mask the lewd noises you two make. Breathy moans, skin slapping,— it’s so hot in there, and Satoru knows it’s not from the steaming water coming from above.
After everybody from the team left, Satoru all but ripped his uniform off. Resorting to using the fucking 3-in-1 shampoo all the other guys use as lube, he’s quick to push himself inside of you.
He tore up the court last game, and for his reward he now gets to tear up you.
“Atta’ boy… hah.. fuck- .. fuck— ah.. did you see my winning shot today..? Ah.. hah.. it was so good, wasn’t it..-?”
He loves it when you wear his jersey while he does it too. He loves it even more if you let him wear yours.
—————————-—☆⋆。𖦹°‧★——————————
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simpjaes · 10 months ago
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in ur opinion who in enha is the biggest perv like the mf is so dirty minded to the point where he probably feels shame for it but can’t help himself when his mind wanders and he has to sneak off to thr nearest bathroom to get himself off because of u
MTL: hyung line + being a shameful perv
tags: this is kind of just general personality stuff, when it comes to "girls" just assume you are the girl in question.
most
★ sunghoon: be honest, you saw it coming right? sunghoon is definitely a pervert but probably cares a lot about who knows it and/or who he wants to keep that from. so on the days where it gets like....real bad....where he wants you so bad, but he knows he can't have you or something, he's running off to find somewhere, fucking anywhere to be alone so he can relieve the stress. otherwise? he won't be able to look you in the eye without saying something inappropriate or losing his mind over how hot you look in that fuckin' top. the type to slam you against the front door and start grinding the second yall step inside because he cant contain his cock and also, he wasn't allowed to say shit about it bc ur ass brought him to see your family at like...a church event or something idk
☆ jake: super perv and super bad at hiding it. also super ashamed when literally everyone sees it. i'm talking like, college parties getting to dance with you and trying to finger you on the couch type perverted. he isn't always in his right mind, either pussy drunk or feeling the intense need to be pussy drunk and no in-between. super ashamed of it though, because what's more embarrassing than walking around a college party with a boner? idk...maybe cumming in your pants because you grinded on him a bit too perfectly during that last song :/?? yeah, that might be worse. (he went home with tears in his eyes) disclaimer: jake would only be ashamed if anyone other than his girl saw him be so pathetic. he low key gets off on the embarrassment tho
★ jay: blatant pervert. the one who seems more down to earth and chill but also the one slapping your ass or staring right at your tits like "what i'd do to get my dick between those rn....."
probably struggles to get girls sometimes because of it ngl, but he has no shame about it either way. and man, when he does get between a girl's legs? everybody gonna hear about it. he might censor the name of the girl but he's doing a full show and tell otherwise. bro probably always begs to record his antics too. (he wants the praise and validation)
☆ heeseung: pervert to the max. worse than anyone and everyone. he isn't ashamed of it only because he's good at hiding it from the ppl who don't need to know. like this man would not give a fuck if he got caught slipping a hand up a skirt or eye fucking someone's sister tho (lmao), you're gonna know what he wants and he's not gonna mince words about it with you or anyone else.
what's that? you're dating jake? oh well why does that matter? Heeseung is still gonna let you know that you should think he's hot and if you want some of that dick, you know where to find him. he wants to be everyone's booty call and is an absolute simp and slut and all things in-between.
least
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fryingpan1234567 · 1 year ago
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some CHB headcanons
every cabin has LEDs around the inside, but there’s a constant battle over what color they are
Percy has his rippling back and forth from teal to blue and it looks like light dancing through water all over his walls and floor
the Apollo cabin can usually settle for orange and yellow as a common ground
the Aphrodite kids have a different color for each time of day and sleep with pink on the lowest brightness setting
the Hermes cabin has like ten different strips and they’re all constantly shifting
Demeter cabin’s shifts with the seasons
ANYWAYS MOVING AWAY FROM THE LEDS
they have movie nights, which I will talk about in a different post
before everybody goes back to school, the Aphrodite and Hecate cabins have a massive salon at the end of the summer with new haircuts and magic hair dye and outfit recommendations and fake but enchanted sturdy nails and a whole bunch of other stuff and basically it’s a week straight of spilling hot tea between everyone in camp
if someone asks where a camper got their hair done when they get back to school they just go “oh, um… summer camp.” and their friends will snort and be like bro isn’t summer camp the opposite of a makeover?? but they get no argument, just a shrug and a half smile
when I tell you pride month over there is a fucking riot
because Mr. D is in on it, right?? because he’s the god of gender?? and Chiron is aroace and has been raising dumbass gay heroes for literal centuries?? PLUS the sheer fucking amount of queer peeps up in there?? dude yeah
cabins competing for who shows the most pride
Demeter’s roof is covered in rainbow flowers
Hecate’s is enchanted to emit actual light in whatever flag colors of whoever uses the front door, even when they’re straight (it’s just a rainbow)
Percy collects a bunch of shed scales from the hippocampi at the bottom of the lake and then puts them all over his cabin
I could make a whole post about CHB pride but
every single Apollo kid is also a theater kid fight me
Rachel Elizabeth Dare painted a skateboard for Percy’s birthday and he brings it everywhere now, it even sits in his backpack at school
Leo, Annabeth, Percy, and Piper fucking love horror movies. Frank, Hazel, and Jason fucking hate them. They watch through their fingers, if at all
Piper loves the band Surfaces with all her heart, but she also is a die hard Green Day and P!ATD fan
Jake Mason is covered in burn scars up to his neck, just like Deadpool, just not bald lol
Hephaestus and Apollo kids faintly radiate warmth (like more so than a normal person)
the Stolls sometimes stay at camp year-round because their mom is off on international missions that are too high-risk for them to help with
the seven are AVID Smash Bros players
really everyone but
not as many people go to the Athena campers for help with homework as you might think, but whenever anyone does, they’re happy to help
the sun chariot blasts music at a frequency only the Apollo kids can hear, so their life kind of has a shitty soundtrack that consists of a mix of Broadway, Queen, modern stuff, and random bits of Beethoven every now and then
the Romans swear on few occasions
the Greeks know when to swear and when to be polite
the Valhalla peeps swear unbridled and all the time
the Egyptians never swear (in English)
for the longest time, Will Solace thinks the only gift from his dad is his healing prowess— which is obviously great, but he expresses being upset over the fact that he’s not very good at archery
well, considering this is the dumbass who didn’t bring a weapon to actual fucking Tartarus, Nico drags him to the weapon shack thing immediately afterwards and made him pick something out
he's immediately drawn to the Celestial Bronze shotgun.
Nico’s just like “what in the redneck shit did you just pick up” and Will jokingly aims it at his chest and grins and says “you know I’m from Texas, right?”
that’s how they find out Will is one of the damn best marksmen in Greek demigod history
some of the Disney nerds in the Apollo cabin sing What Once Was Mine to the little ones who need bandaids for knee scrapes and give them lollipops afterwards
Percy Jackson absolutely used to make poverty and struggle meal jokes all the time, but he got weird and concerned looks for it at CHB, so he kind of just stopped. But one day, aboard the Argo II, the PERFECT opportunity came up and he just HAD TO and as per usual— everyone else looked at him like he’s crazy— but Leo laughed so hard chocolate milk came out of his nose and that’s the story of how the two of them became Best Friends
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issdisgrace · 5 months ago
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LANDO: Everybody is like Lando, how did you bag a baddie. How did you bag that baddie bro. I didn’t bag shit Y/n picked me up from my neck and threw me over his shoulder and I’ve been on it ever since and I got no plans of getting off anytime soon.
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