#brennan fully LOSING it really got me

[starstruckodysseys]

can we PLEASE get a season with alex and zac bc they’re both so good at one liners that break the rest of the cast

[cryptidcat5105]

Sky wielders AU

Part 1 | Art ... Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11

Not much happens in this one, it's more of a transition part, but I think it's pretty nice regardless.

Also y'all wanted the dual perspective and as I wrote I realized that this is really the best format for the next few posts. In other words, hope you enjoy!

Spoilers for the Empyrean series!

As Xaden painstakingly pulled back his shadows Violet finally let the power flowing through her slow to a trickle, effectively cutting of the glow that was keeping away the dark.

Deigh was pacing on the edge of the canyon, Baide pearing down in the ravine, when the darkness fully receded. The red didn't waste a second to jump down and start sniffing his rider, making sure he's alright with no regard for the growl Sgaeyl let out as he approached her rider. Baide also sniffed at Liam warrily, but quickly let out a satisfied huff and tucked herself into Deigh's side.

Tairn: Baide says she cannot smell the stollen magic like she could on her previous poor excuse of a rider. She has agreed to not harm the brave one and see how things play out.

After shooting her gratitude down the bond, Violet and the group were interrupted by a black wyvern landing a few feet away. The dragons let out low warning growls but when Naolin touched the ground Tairn let out a huff, relaxing.

Naolin, smiling: I missed you too, you old grump! ...And for what it's worth, I'm sorry for everything I've put you through.

Violet: He says he's not pleased, but he understands why you did what you did.

Liam: If you ask me I think all of us understand to some extent.

Naolin, noticing Liam's eyes: Well shit! I was here to see if I can cover for Mr Onyx Storm here, but looks like there's two of you.

Xaden, raising an eyebrow: And you are?

Naolin: Naolin Aisereigh, the reason you got Brennan seven years ago and Sage of the Black Battalion, at your service.

Xaden: Do we trust this guy?

Violet: Yes, I've known him since I was a kid. Plus, he's with Killian and he also saved me. Tairn also seems to trust him.

Xaden, after also reading Naolin's intentions: Good enough for me. We would need some help. I don't think I or Liam can stay in Navarre or Poromiel anymore.

Violet: What?! Why?!

Xaden: While I may not be a venin, they'll surely clock me as one after my little display. And while not many people know about Liam's ice signet, we don't know if his eyes will fade since he technically didn't pull.

Violet: So your just gonna leave?

Xaden: 'Leave' is a strong word. I prefer 'expanding our work area'. That's if this Black Battalion will have us.

Naolin: Duh, that's why I'm here!

Violet: I'm coming with then!

Xaden: No, you've got to stay in Tyrrendor, make sure they don't try anything funny with Bodhi or the province.

Violet, desparate: No! What about the mating bond? Us? Bodhi can take care of Tyrrendor, it's what he's been training for all these months, he's strong enough!

Xaden: Violence... this has nothing to do with Bodhi not being strong enough. He's more than capable of ruling this entire fucking continent If given the chance. No, I want you here because there's no one in this world I would trust more to lead the rebellion in my stead and take care of my home. You're the one who trained me to be a sky wielder, we both know that Sgaeyl could stay behind and we'd both be fine. This isn't goodbye, my love, it's merely see you later.

Violet: I can't lose you! Neither of you!

Xaden: Violet, love, come here! *Wraps his hand around her, the other still holding Liam* there is nothing that could stand between us. Nothing. You are my better half, my salvation and there is no man, venin or dragon that could stand in the way of me returning to you. So, Violet Sorrengail, my Violence, my love, my match in every way, will you do me the honor of being my duchess and letting me make everything I have ours?

Naolin gently prys Liam from Xaden as the two lovers are having a moment. The blond has a dreamy smile on his face, leaning heavily on the Sage, muttering something along the lines of 'about time'.

After that Xaden sent Liam with Naolin to round up the rest of the Battalion than get to the Dunne temple, while he and Violet devised a plan. They decided to try asking Dionadair for advice and his response was effectively just "fuck it, we ball" and called his entire den to Aretia, bringing a few dragon eggs as collateral. The Vale was in pandemonium for several hours as the irids and violently split from the empyrean and headed east. Gaelach was leading a good chunk of the riot, her now black scales and scorpiontail making her look like a bigger version of Andarna. She had her group camouflage once in Aretia and follow the black wyverns to their base in the Barrens after Xaden reached an agreement with Killian. Tyrrendor recognized the Black Battalion as allies, wheather Navarre liked it or not.

Then, when the moon was high in the sky, 10 hours after the battle for Draithus concluded. Violet and Xaden found themselves at the temple of Dunne. Inside, Theophanie and the priestesses were talking animately, Imogen and Killian were glaring at each other and Naolin and Garrick were watching over Liam who was dosing off. Violet never thought this is how she was going to get married, none of her siblings present and in the middle of a war.

As the priestesses tied her and Xaden's hands together with a long white ribbon embroidered with Tyrrish runes, Violet felt on the verge of tears the entire time. The golden flecked onyx eyes across from her, that were so full of love and adoration, were the only thing keeping her from completely spiraling.

Theophanie: May Loial bless this union and may Dunne let no soul stand between you. Now I declare you Duke and Duchess, uh...

Violet, before Xaden could say anything: Riorson.

Theophanie, with a soft smile: Duke and Duchess Riorson!

The two held each other for what felt like only moments before Killian came up to them, saying it's time to go. Violet kept begging for just a bit longer, but in vain. Xaden pulled her impossibly closer and softly kisses her forehead.

Xaden: I love you! And remember, I'm never more than a dream away.

Violet: I love you too...

That's when felt warm fingers graze her temples and let darkness welcome her. Xaden's arms were the only thing left keeping her upright and he gently gathered her in his arms. He gave her one last kiss before passing her to Garrick who was watching them with sad eyes.

Garrick: She'll be fine, brother. We'll take care of her, I promise.

Xaden, pating his shoulder: I know. Take care of yourselves too. We'll see you soon.

As soon as they were airborne, Xaden could see the small figures of Imogen, Garrick and Violet in his arms making their way back to the Riorson house. He could feel a deep ache in his heart at the prospect of leaving Sgaeyl and his love (Gods, she's his wife now!) behind, but he knew it was for the best in the long run. If Liam can channel to heal the earth maybe they can teach the Battalion to do so as well. The group of irids joining them was an unexpected surprised, but he was glad the dragons found hope in their plan.

The scales of Naolin's wyvern were warm under his hands, where he was holding on. He was suddenly reminded of Biodach in that moment. The small creature was flying circles around them and he could feel Violet's magic flowing through him whenever he got close. If Violet's dream walking didn't work they'd use the little guy as a messager (if he was up for it).

The 8 hour flight to the Barrens was awkward to say the least. Despite being surrounded by allies, Xaden felt alone, with nothing but the sky's magic to fill the void where Sgaeyl's and Violet's bonds were now muted. Naolin kept turning to him every so often, throwing him searching glances, but never saying anything.

Once they were above the Bay of Malek, Xaden could see what looked like a mountain range up ahead. The entire area was covered in pale trees and tall grass. As they got closer Xaden realized one of the peaks was actually the mouth of a volcano. Without warning, the wyverns dove straight into the hollow mountain and carefully landed between stalactites and stalagmites. Xaden never thought such raw creatures could be capable of so much grace.

Once on the ground both Liam and Xaden could feel the warmth and magic radiating from the ground and the pool of lava in the very center of the cavern.

Xaden: I thought this place was fully drained.

Naolin: It was. This place seems to regenerate, though we haven't figured out why yet. It was a former hatching ground but even that magic should've run out by now. We are grateful anyway, as much as we try to only drain enemy venin, that's not really sustainable for us unfortunately.

Liam: That is curious indeed. Also did the irids seriously bring dragon eggs here?

Naolin, head snapping in the dragons's direction: They fucking what?!

The irids were indeed gathering rocks and smashed obsidian into a sort of circle and nesting the eggs among them, breathing searing fire onto them after.

Naolin: Kill is gonna kill me... Pun intended.

Liam and Xaden are amused at the sage's suffering. As they settled in an bouncy Asim brought the both of them steaming stew, and offered to explain the layout of the cave. The venin called it the Hearth, which was fitting, and it was the main base of the Battalion. The wyvern mostly hanged from the ceiling like oversized bats but all the venin were mainly gathered near the pool of lava that was acting as a giant campfire. The Asim explained about all the different sections of the cavern: where they trained, where they slept, where they made their food and so on.

After a while, Xaden and Liam finally found their own space to sleep and they were both out as soon as they hit their sleeping bags.

Back in Aretia Violet was not doing so great. The Assembly has been pestering her with questions upon questions she didn't know the answer to. She understood why they had to erase her memories now, she thought it was a brilliant idea even, but Gods did she hate it. Ever since she officially became a duchess, Aaric has been constantly at her side giving her the best advice he could. The iron squad has taken to guarding Violet like it was their full time job and Dain has been coordinating every cadet and to work like a well oiled machine while she was still a bit out of it.

Assassination attempts had a 100% chance of happening so the Assembly kept pushing Violet to choose a few personal guards. Felix and Brennan were so done with all this bullshit but they both agree she should have some form of extra protection. That's when Violet finally snapped and locked herself into her and Xaden's room.

She had been crying for hours into Cuide's fur and all her joints were hurting from the exhaustion she felt, but she forced herself to get up and answer the door when she sensed Aaric and her squad.

They talked for a bit after which Aaric presented his plan to get the assembly to back off. Violet was now the duchess of Tyrrendor, which meant she had more or less full reign on any decisions that had to do with the province, so she could just pick her squad as the royal guard or change up the assembly whichever way she saw fit.

Violet: Xaden trusts them to-

Aaric: No, Fen Riorson trusted these people and Xaden just went along with it. You don't have to put up with advisors that undermine your authority and would discard you as soon as you weren't essential to their cause.

Violet: And who would I even replace them with?

Aaric: Hmm... I say keep Brennan and Felix, but you should choose the rest.

Ridoc: We could ask Cat for recommendations. Having gryphon fliers worked out pretty well for Quest Squad, so it might work here as well?

Rhiannon, amused: When did you get this wise?

Ridoc, smirking: Oh, I was always wise, you just weren't close enough to my genius to see it!

Violet, chuckling: That is a good idea. I think I would also like Garrick as part of the Assembly. He's been in this from the start and he's a great strategist, so him and Brennan could work off of each other.

Aaric: That's good, keep going with that line of thinking.

Violet: We should also get a scribe and an infantry soldier in the Assembly. I don't know who yet, but it would be good to have multiple perspectives.

Aaric, getting up to leave: Very well. I shall look into it then. Maybe we should ask Bodhi as well, I'm sure he'll have some valueable insight. I shall take my leave now, have a good evening everyone.

Sawyer, teasingly: You as well, your Highness!

Violet, after Aaric left: So, would you guys lke to be Aretia's royal squad?

Ridoc: Do we get a patch? I'd love to be part of the squad regardless, but I need to know if we get a patch.

Violet, smiling: Yes Ridoc, I'll even get you a new uniform with the Tyrrendor coat of arms if you want.

Ridoc: Hell yeah!

Part 1 | Art ... Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11

[meenawrites]

Junior Year Ep 2!

Am I going to do this watch along style? Don't know, but for now I'll try to be consistent as I watch this.

SO Night Yorb sealed away yayyyyyyy

Gorgug thinks he sealed him away and you know what I'm fully content to let him believe that, he deserves it after all the Hangvan has been put through and having to build the sun lasso anyway.

Biggest thing I didn't see coming was Ecaf shattering. Side note about that, anyone else realize her name is just Face spelled backwards?? LIKE BRENNAN! LOL! Fabian being heartbroken is so funny and then they spin the wildest tale about her being a 'turncoat', I"M DEAD! But I do agree with Riz, Fabian's great romance CANNOT be a mirror. I refuse. Them mending her ans slipping her into Adaine's jacket is hilarious. 10/10. Definitely not gonna backfire. No way.

What do you mean Gorgug and Zelda broke up?????? EXCUSE ME?! THEY WERE THE CUTEST COUPLE EVER WHAT HAPPENED! (I mean I think Fig and Ayda are cuter but still they're up there). Glad to see that Zelda's dad is still the same though lol

ALSO TRACKER AND KRISTEN BROKE UP WTH??? WHY?? They seemed like the most solid couple! I demand to know what happened!! By the way the new art of Tracker is FIRE!

Please, Riz trying to find a way for them to all go to college together is so freaking cute, I'm dead.

Glad Ayda is having bonding time with her dad but I was so looking forward to having her around this season, I'm devastated.

AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN GHILEAR ISN'T GOING TO BE HERE FOR THE SEASON?! MY FAV NPC! MY FAV PATHETIC DAD! You know something is wrong when seeing Ghilear actually have a stroke of luck was genuinely off putting. I was like hang on, something isn't right here. Is this an impostor? Happy for him but I'm similarly if not more devastated that he will not be around.

Still want to know if Aelwyn and Fabian got their freak on and if so what happened? Also what happened to the sisters trying to be family again and then Aelwyn goes and moves out a year later? Feels just a tad like a cop out to not have her be a major player in the season but whatever I'll let it slide.

I feel like Kristen loses her purpose like every season at this point lol, but in a different way, like what's going on? Relatable but still.

The nemesis abjurative ward was hilarious though lol.

Adaine's mom is still alive so Adaine doesn't have any money?? Unbelievable, her mother is an international criminal, why does she still have any power over Adaine's inhertiance??

Also Riz's mom not getting pension is bogus omg, my poor cool mom Sklonda! Sklonda my beloved! Can Gorthalax not get some money from hell? Is that allowed? Also where is he? I've been dying to get Sklonda/Gorthalax crumbs since they were officially declared a thing and that still hasn't been delivered to me. Sad times.

That cracking that's happening to Cassandra really freaked me out omg, Kristen do your job as her friend and saint!

Side note, the dome looks HELLA COOL!!!

[grayintogreen]

Okay I've never done this for LitMoR because there's three times as many OCs and I always feel weird talking about "voice claims"" in a fandom that doesn't... do that. Or really have a huge OC culture in general, but since Hellaverse does and I HAVE seen people going "if my OC was real, they would be played by x" before, I wanted to provide the list and some references so you can hear them as I hear them.

This list is painfully biblically accurate to the casting pool Vivzie uses (either Broadway actors or voice actors who have done musicals), barring a couple exceptions. It also contains the Canon OC's, because lbr my interpretations of Eve, Crymini, Lilith, Baxter, and Arackniss are not going to be canon and I'm okay with that. Roseverse is an AU.

ANYWAY. BENEATH THE CUT ARE A BUNCH OF YOUTUBE CLIPS + long-winded explanations. ENJOY. I’ll have to do another one because there’s a ten video limit and I had more characters to cover plus there’s characters who haven’t been introduced yet.

EDEN ESPIONSA AS EVE

Listen I will fully admit this decision was spurred on by "Nothing Left to Lose" but Eden Espinosa is hella good at playing resentful second fiddle bad girlies, given her entire career feels like it comes down to "Idina Menzel but affordable" (don't listen baby girl you're amazing).

ELIZABETH MITCHELL AS LILITH (SINGING VOICE: LADY GAGA)

I've gone over this one before, but I stand by it. I know Vivzie's hc voice for Lilith for real is Lady Gaga, but it wasn't vibing with how I've been writing her, so Lady Gaga plays her when she's singing (specifically the very raw, less sylized way she sings ASiB) and Liz plays her every other time. Watch that Blonde4Blonde love scene and tell me that isn't Lucillith reunion coded.

CHRISTOPHER FITZGERALD AS BAXTER

Now if Baxter appears in canon as more than a cameo, I would want him to be played by an actual trans actor because WE CANNOT IGNORE THE FACT THAT ONLY FEMALE ANGLERFISH HAVE LURES (and Viv denotes trans characters in imps by their horns so we know she's done this kind of thing to cue the audience in), but since this is just for fun and for me to have something to refer back to when I'm writing for vocal consistency, I gotta go with this nerd.

Note: I did NOT realize he played Kimiko Glenn's love interest in Waitress until I was looking up a video.

BARRETT WILBERT WEED AS CRYMINI

This one is actually at least marginally possible because BWW already voices Octavia. Part of the reason why she and Stolas have that cute little moment in Chapter Five of OWDLIF is because she shares a VA with his daughter and it was a dumb little moment for me, personally. (The clip in there with the live version of Dead Girl Walking where she sounds a little drunk and she's reading the lyrics off her phone is the exact energy for Crymini.)

Also “Fight For Me” from the Heathers musical is the Crinomini theme.

BRENNAN LEE MULLIGAN AS ARACKNISS

Here's one of our exceptions! This came out of nowhere because at first I was using Jeremy Jordan in Newsies as the basis for his voice, but it VERY QUICKLY- like while writing the first chapter- morphed into Sean, so that's what I'm stuck with. Also I'm sorry it's so long, but trust me it's worth it. Brennan is an improv god.

LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA AS CHANCE

YEAH YEAH I KNOW. YOU LOVE CHANCE ANYWAY. I will say that Roseverse Chance is specifically closer to In the Heights!LMM, whereas LitMoR Chance is very specifically Lee Scoresby. Ergo In the Heights.

ERIKA ISHII AS DIANA

The third exception. Though Erika has been doing voice work and has been in a musical game, even if they didn't sing in it, so who knows.

Also this video clip is so Dianacore. The whole thing.

KHARY PEYTON AS AAMON

This is like the main reason I posted this, because I need everyone to be aware of just how hot Aamon sounds despite him being a giant toolbox.

REBECCA FERGUSON AS ROO

Listen. LISTEN. She can sing. She's got a sexy voice. She's NOT LIKELY TO EVER BE CAST, but Rose the Hat is like 85% of my entire aesthetic for her. Her secondary aesthetic is Kate Shindle as the Mad Hatter in the Wonderland musical who is slightly more castable.

[d20-brainrot]

get ready for some d20 asks bestie

favourite season

favourite pc

favourite npc

LEAST fav season/pc/npc

a line that you like

a funny bit that makes you laugh

saddest/most heartwrenching moment that makes you sad every time

best character arc in your opinion

which of the newly announced seasons are you most excited for?

who would you like to see on d20 for the first time or to return?

who would you like to see DM on d20?

a mini that you like

a battle set that you like

something you hope comes back for another season

a season you wish people would watch more

ooh i love this!!!

favorite season: definitely starstruck odyssey or neverafter. they are just both so fun, and everyone is having a good time. plus i like a little horror y'know?

fav pc: ylfa!!! she's just like me for real. no but seriously, she is a child growing up into a body she doesn't fully understand, and thinks that how she feels makes her irredeemable. little el is shaking in their boots right now. i also love lapin. he's deadpan but he does the right thing. plus i just loved how zac played him, it was wonderful

fav npc: esther sinclair is my shit!!!! i love her sm, she is a fierce warrior and i love that about her! also AYDA AGUEFORT IS THE BEST!!! just her and fig are adorable, her being besties with adaine, her calling gorgug the finest wizard ever, just beautiful!!

least fav season/pc/npc: i hate biz glitterdew with every ounce of my being. just the "nice guy" energy radiating from him makes me sick. like i had dudes like that interact with me in middle and high school, and they creeped me the fuck out.

a line i like: "i'm the prince of shoeberg, motherfucker!!!" is a great line and it makes me giggle every time i hear it. a very impactful line for me is "you listen to me right here. having panic attacks, that is not a character flaw, do you understand? you are not a coward. you have a goddamn medical condition, all right?" like that makes me want to sob. i watched this season right around the time that i got diagnosed with severe general anxiety and social anxiety, and it hit me that i am not flawed, i just needed some help.

funny bit that makes you laugh: god just the fact that murph cannot for the life of him roll well is hilarious. i also love the hairy baby dance! like the fact that it came back in an adventuring party for starstruck was fucking great.

saddest moment: god when jet is talking to liam and tells him to tell ruby that she did the right thing, and then the light goes out of the locket of the sweetest heart. gut-wrenching dude. or when they're in the nightmare forest, and brennan is talking about how ayda loves fig because she was kind to her, and that she sees her for who she really is. that always makes me tear up dude.

best character arc: dude ragh for sure! like him going from being a bully, to everyone realizing it was because he was getting harassed by his best friend/the guy that he had loved for years? god what a good storyline. or kugrash, sacrificing himself for everyone by eating the bagel?? killer moment.

fav newly announced season: wasn't there one about them blowing up or something? what the actual fuck does that mean mr. mulligan and mr. reich? huh???

who would you like to see on d20 return or for the first time: alex song-xia needs to come back. no ifs, ands, or buts about it! they were wonderful, and i loved how they played conrad. if they don't come back, i will lose my mind.

who would you like to see dm: murph should dm! he's amazing on naddpod (even though i'm only on the very first campaign) and i would love to see his work in the dome. it would be absolutely amazing!!!!

mini you like: preston was so tiny and so cute! i also loved sprinkle, for the same reason. the fact that it literally was just a sprinkle as a mini was great and i loved every second of it

battle set you liked: the battle with the terrible dogfish!! the fact that it came from like the top of the dome????? absolutely astounding. rick perry truly works wonders with minis.

something you hope comes back: ooh, that's a tough one. i did really like the moving part of mentopolis, the little pressure meter thingy. i did also love in acofaf that they got little trinkets! i love a good trinket!!

everyone needs to watch escape from the bloodkeep!!! i love it so so so much, and it has some amazing characters, some amazing minis, great players, and it's dimension 20 history y'all!!

[lcngliive]

"yes! I get that violet, I really do!" mira sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I'm glad that I remember you too, but there are so many more things to be fucking worrying about right now!" like what had happened. mira was still reeling, thinking of the blade that had sliced across their neck. "and she's fucking dead the next time I see her fucking face," mira could only think to react with anger - they didn't want to break down, not as much as she wanted to. the erratic way she was moving was already too much for them, all of the information that was swirling in her mind was sending them insane. "violet, stop it - stop apologising - all of us knew the risks of whatever we were doing." she paused. "you're my sister and I love you, I'd do anything for you and if that meant dying, then so be it," she'd been glad that brennan had been there - despite the fact that mira was still furious with him, they'd struggled to get over the whole faking his own death thing. "I just," they paused, trailing off. "I just wish you would have trusted me, vi - I know I would have overreacted, but shit, you're my sister and as much as I don't like xaden for my own personal fucking reasons, you love him and I'd do anything to help you - so would brennan." mira realised early on that they would do anything for their siblings - even if it meant dying or killing anyone who got in their way. mira would do it, family meant everything to her - especially after losing brennan and then dad. "fuck-" she paused, her breath shuddering. "between all of this and kat coming back and trying to murder me I swear I'm going to lose my fucking mind," the words had slipped from their lips before mira had even fully registered what she'd said. "fuck," they muttered. "please just forget whatever I just said-" mira knew that violet wouldn't and she'd need to explain everything to violet, but she didn't exactly think this was the appropriate time to explain that they both apparently have the same taste in partners. "do you think imogen knows what really happened?" they asked, brows furrowing slightly. mira had no idea why violet had asked cardulo to wipe her memories, something must have happened for her to say that - something must have happened with xaden. that was the only explanation for what happened. "you do realise you need to get married again, don't you?" she looked at violet, a sigh leaving her lips. "I missed one wedding, I sure as hell won't be missing another one,"

"okay, well before you start yelling at me, just know i'm really happy you are okay and remember." she knew it wouldn't help, once mira was on this mission, there was no stopping them until someone pulled them apart. violet stopped before she could say anything else, however, seeing the way mira paused, her eyes watching her sister's expression shift. "mira..?" they were clearly working through something and violet was nearly holding her breath about it. "theophanie. she's one of their mavens... brennan mended you. i'm so sorry mira, i'm sorry you got roped into this, that she took you to get to me.. i'm sorry." she didn't know what else to say to her sister during all of this, what more there was to say. violet wasn't sure if mira would pull away, but her hand reached out to grab theirs, fingers lacing through mira's. "you're okay." she hoped reassuring would help.. even a little. "that's.. no mira, of course not. it wasn't my information to share. we couldn't tell anyone really, not until we knew what we were dealing with. they would've burned xaden if they knew what he did. you and i both know that." though, her hand pulled away at the tone in mira's voice, grimacing as she felt just how fucking heavy the ring on her finger became. "technically, yes, we got married.. but i don't remember it. imogen wiped my memories. so please don't ask me about it, because i don't know when or how or anything about it! i'm not happy about none of you being there either, you know i wouldn't just fucking elope if we didn't have a good reason! i just wish i could tell you what that reason was!" she could infer, figured it had everything to do with taking over as xaden fell deeper into the venin but gods, she knew nothing about being a fucking duchess.

[jq37]

The Royal Report– A Crown of Candy Ep 10 Blood and Bread

Come Together

Welcome back and I hope you took advantage of the opportunity to catch your breath because the Rocks family is granted no such reprieve. Fresh off the heels of Jet’s tragic murder by Ciabatta and Calroy answering the question of whether a cake can coup, we pick back up with Theo who’s foiled his imprisonment by making use of the skills Lazuli taught him and magically busting down the door. Then, he makes use of his other knight skills and absolutely eviscerates the shocked guards outside. 

He runs for the King’s quarters and, obviously, doesn’t find Amethar as he’s in a smoking crater outside, but he does run into Caramelinda who he immediately informs of the situation as best he can. Cara is confused, even as guards (Cal’s men) show up and start firing on them. She tries to get them to stop on her royal authority but Theo hears a lot more soldiers coming on a Nat 20 Insight and is like, “We need to go.” Cara does her own Insight check and has the good sense to follow him.

They run and Theo takes her into a little secret door in one of the hallways. Just in time too, because Cal walks by all camp-y kids movie villain, clearly telegraphing his intention to kill Cara, and tries drawing her out by saying some bait-y stuff about Amethar but Theo says they should ignore it and they escape down a spiral staircase instead of confronting Cal.  

Meanwhile, Ruby (still Invisible) runs across the bridge, feels Jet pass, and keeps running, all the way to the standing stones of the Sugar Plum Fairy. 

“Bring her back,” she demands, tearfully. “I know you can bring her back. What is the point of having magic if I can’t bring her back. Please.���

The SPF appears and gently says that the nature of the world is such that she can’t bring Jet back. However, it may be possible to bring them to Jet. Go north to the Stone Candy Mountain, she says. That’s where she is and where her sister is waiting.  

Ruby then sneaks her way back to the castle, and sees Kerradin on his way there with about 30 knights. On double Nat 20s, when she gets to the castle, she clocks her dad immediately. Cumulous (who was also in the general area Ruby just came from and can now see where she is based on the glow of her magic, though he doesn’t know it’s her) also sees Amethar. Ruby, horrified at the thought of losing both her sister and father within about five minutes, runs to him.

Liam, still in the lingerie shop, hears Ciabatta wonder where the “witch boy” (Liam himself) went and also gives away some plot info for free: Alfredi has been hanged and she was apparently the only person skilled enough to make watersteel daggers. They’re fresh out. They leave and Liam pops out of the Rope Trick. He checks the glowing chest and sees that all that’s in there is a glowing rock--ambush bait. He then wraps Jet’s body in tasteful lingerie (sure), puts it in a cabinet for later retrieval, and takes her sword and locket for Ruby before stealthing away to find the others. 

Amethar, fallen but not Fallen, unsteadily picks himself up, just in time to see the magic glow of his invisible daughter’s footsteps approaching him. “Pops, it’s me,” she says, voice wavering. “I think Jet is dead.”  Amethar gives her a huge dad hug as she channels some of his barbarian energy, vowing to kill whoever did this, and their children, and drown their lands. The very stealthy Liam and Cumulous also show up for this--Liam joining the hug and Cumulous just announcing his presence awkwardly when his name is mentioned. 

Liam lets them know where Jet’s body is and also gives Jet’s things to Ruby. Ruby takes the sword but haltingly insists that Liam keep the locket--it won’t work alone, and besides, Jet would want him to have it. 

Cara and Theo pop out of the secret tunnel and the kids instantly Perception/Insight check her (no doubt feeling burned after Cal’s betrayal). Ruby, on a 23, gets nothing sinister--it’s just her extremely freaked out mom. With that reassurance, she reveals that Jet is dead and Liam chimes in that it was Ciabatta and his men. Liam accusatorily mentions the letter that got them ambushed and Cara claims to not only not know about the letter, but to not know the lingerie lady at all.

Ruby lets everyone know that Kerradin is on his way and Cara says that most of the Castle Candy soldiers have been sent to Castle Many Licks on Cal’s orders. It’s mainly just Cal’s men in the castle--the castle that is currently being redecorated with House Cruller banners. Translation: They’re F’d. 

Amethar remembers that Manta Ray Jack is still in the harbor and--after talking Liam out of going rogue and tracking Kerradin--the group decides getting to him and making a break for it is the best bet. They pick a path that will go past the lingerie shop so they can pick up Jet’s body on the way.

They see torches being lit and hear dogs--clearly a search party coming for them--so Ruby uses Prestidigitation to scent the path with anise so the dogs will be confused (which Brennan rewards with disadvantage on tracking checks). Ruby and Amethar are both mortally wounded, but they decide that getting away ASAP is a better option than waiting to tend to their wounds. They roll initiative and head off.

The Sweet Escape

This is another unusual combat episode from Crown of Candy. There’s not so much brawling as there is running and trying to avoid fighting. I don’t think a play by play will be very interesting, so I’ll just give a quick rundown of the highlights. 

The mechanics of this is it’s basically a series of group stealth checks until they get to where they’re going. Ruby still has 25 mins left on her invisibility and Brennan lets her cast Mage Hand with a 1st level spell slot to keep Theo’s armor from clinking and giving him disadvantage for seven rounds. 

They fail their first round of checks and are spotted by hot-hounds (hot dog hounds, of course). Cumulous tells the group to keep going and he stays behind to handle it. He kills the dogs (yay?) but alerts other guards in doing so. Liam, with his crossbow, headshots the guard about to make trouble for Cumulous and then Cumulous steals his chariot. 

Ruby, cantrip master, uses her Mage Hand (feeling a kiss on her cheek as she does) to hold a lantern and send it in a different direction, creating more confusion for the people tracking them.

Cumulous, on a Nat 20 Animal Handling check, fully on purpose (and after taking a bunch of damage from being fired on by ballista) drives the chariot off a cliff.

We’ll get back to that.

Liam, four rounds in, remembers that, oh yeah, he *does* have Pass Without Trace which gives +10 to all stealth checks--a little late but a game changer nonetheless. As he casts it, Cumulous feels the call of something like the Hungry One but not the Hungry One and Liam feels that same weird magical feeling he did running from the Cathedral in Comida.

Cumulous, as he rockets off the cliff (killing the horses in a very Hardwon Surefoot move), uses Fluffwind (his staff) to cast Gaseous Form--dropping his speed to a snail’s pace but saving his candy bacon.

The rest of the group does stealth checks until they make it to Dulcington. Ruby sets a tent on fire with her lantern as a distraction and all of them have to cross a river (the bridge is occupied by guards). Ruby gets a Nat 1 and falls in but Liam gets a Nat 20 and helps her across.

Unfortunately, the initial splash into the river alerted guards and they’re run up on by Ceresian soldiers. But, really, it’s more of a minor annoyance. Between Peppermint Batman critting, Ruby doing some sniping (losing her Invisibility in the process), Theo desperate to not see another Rocks dead on his watch, and Amethar in a full dad-rage, these guys are dead before they even have a chance to attack.

Cumulous drops Gaseous Form and anime sprints back to the gang. 

Amethar and Liam grab Jet’s body and then run for the harbor with the others. Theo Messages Jack to get the ship ready because they’re gonna be there in a minute and they need to go NOW.

Enemy archers fire on them but they ignore it and just keep running. When they show up, Jack is confused but they’re like, “Sail now, questions later.”

Brennan says there’s no way they’re gonna get the ship going before soldiers catch up with them but he obviously didn’t count on Amethar going into a rage and just pushing the boat himself, snapping the mooring keeping it docked. As soldiers ride up on them, Ruby uses Mage Hand to help with the few remaining ropes and Theo casts Knock to undo the reins on one of the horses, sending the mounted soldier flying. 

They narrowly escape up the river, and that’s where we end our episode. 

Thing I’m Concerned About

This is something I mentioned as an aside in the last recap and it seems that it’s become relevant so I’ll be more explicit now. When the tear-away lingerie came up in episode one, it seemed like it was news to Cara (and I’m sure Brennan too because it was obv off the cuff). But last episode, the letter they got seemed to indicate that she was in cahoots with that person. But then in this episode, after a pretty high Insight check that indicated she was on the level, she said he didn’t know about any lingerie lady. Which seems to indicate setup, right? Which would make sense there was nothing at the shop and assassins waiting (assassins who seemed unsurprised to see the kids and not her for what it’s worth). But the way they got the letter, with Cara leaving the room, it seems like she would have seen it. So was that even really her? Is there a bad guy walking around with Disguise Self? If so, Bad! Also Bad! if she actually does turn out to be bad and it was like a DC 30 Insight check to find out, “Surprise! Your mom has been secretly evil this whole time!” Cara calls Ciabatta Imperator before she gets that info and idk if that’s Brennan misspeaking or A Clue and it *better* be the first because I don’t have the energy for *another* betrayal right now. It does seem like exactly the kind of thing you’d use in story to bait the twins if you knew them though, right? Like anyone who even sorta knew them (but especially someone who really knew them like Cal--was he there for that lingerie conversation in episode 1?) would know that was surefire twin-bait. 

Don’t love that the SPF is, with different faces and different tactics, corralling everyone to the Mountains. I don’t know what her game is but I Do Not Trust fae. Also, maybe I’m being paranoid but when the SPF said, “Your sister is waiting,” I def had a burst of...your sister as in Jet or your sister as in this bastard child who we know nothing about? Wouldn’t that be such a dirty trick? To skirt fae lying rules (idk if they exist in this world) by talking about Jet a bunch and then saying, “Your sister is waiting,” about a totally different (half) sister?

So who all is working together? Cal last week said he was working with Alfredi and Ciabatta was also working with Alfredi. Plus, Kerradin was there (which, sidenote, WILD. Did Alfredi just take all the heat or something?). But I can't imagine everyone’s goals are fully synced. Ciabatta seems to mostly care for his own power. The Pontifex wants the Ramsian Doctrine fulfilled presumably which puts her at cross-purposes to Cal. What’s everyone’s game here. Is any of this stuff just happening independently of the others and Amethar just has hella enemies/has just lost Concord protection?

All this “like the Hungry One but not the Hungry One” stuff has me suspicious. People have mentioned to me that the noises that Brennan makes when he brings that up are kinda snorty and pig-like which raises two possibilities. It could be the vengeful spirit of Preston--which would go with the ice motif since he’s a peppermint pig and we all know peppermint is the cold magic of candy. It could also be related to the Great Boar of the Meatlands. I can see a pig spirit showing favor to an angry kid who took good care of his best pig friend who then tragically died, even with the cross-food barrier. Idk, we’ll see how this goes.

Ruby, my girl, please don’t do anything rash in your grief. You’re 1000% valid but please stay as levelheaded as you can. 

Five More Things

Lol at Ally very confidently saying they don’t have Pass Without a Trace even after being reminded of it and then three turns later being like wait nevermind. 

Killshot Thompson at it again with those precision voice breaks at all the most heart-crushing times. I would have loved to have seen Emily’s reactions from video village during the scene with Amethar. And then the, “I can’t lose another. Please,” to Liam? Ugh. My heart.

Ally’s “WHY?” when Manta Ray Jack started ringing that bell was beautiful.

“Another secret black woman,” might be the funniest thing Lou has ever said. And he’s said a lot of funny things. He originated, “Somebody call Wizards of the Coast.”

A second set of double Nat 20s from Siobhan! She also did it in Fantasy High Sophomore Year when freeing Fig from mind control. The only other person I think who’s done it is Lou as Fabian during the arcade battle in FH S1. You can’t really tell because of the way I glossed over the nitty gritty of this ep, but the Nat 20s were really out of control this session. It’s just that, as the cast said in Adventuring Party, Nat 20s don’t get you spectacular things this season. They just mean you get to not die that turn.

[aberfaeth]

top five movies and/or top five d20 moments!! 💖💖

i will do both. thakn u sav i love yelling

movies (in no particular order except #1 which is my #1) ( please dont judge me on my taste it is good some times and abysmal at others)

1. the princess bride! this is my favorite movie of all time. i am dead serious when i say i can quote this movie from beginning to end. its one of those things where its been my favorite movie for like FOREVER so it sort of just chills out in that spot but also it is SOOOOOO GOOD it really is. 

2. into the spiderverse! changed the game of animation forever changed my HEART forever. it has such a baller soundtrack and everything about this movie is so golden from the art style to the plot to the characters to the voice actors. it made me feel every emotion on the spectrum of human emotion and it is a good movie for ANY mood at all

3. the force awakens! there was something so so special about going to the theater and seeing finn and rey for the first time <:3 it is sooooo good and also hey its super funny how they only made one sequel movie and then the rest of it is just tell me about the big bang by nina varela. super wild

4. mission impossible iv: ghost protocol. listen ok i know this is objectively probably not a very good movie HOWEVER. i think its neat. no i dont like hte other mission impossibles its literally just this one. its a mystery to me too but its such a comfort movie

5. now you see me! its the snarky found family magicians and HEISTS! and fuck rich people! and magic! and dave franco as jack wilder setting me back in my discovery of my own lesbianism by maybe a calendar year on account of the wild comphet crush i had on him in that movie gjfvkgfvs ignore that ANYWAYS its good

d20 moments (in no particular order) (a lot of this is TUC i know. i dont explain my poetry often)

1. hairy baby scene. emily and murph’s married energy, lou losing it, murph’s hairy baby dance. this was the peak of comedy. literally never another my guy

2. what are you even DOING dude if kug’s involved? yeah! Im so far back . what the fuck are you even doing dude Get outta here man! Fuckin sick dude (Im not sick ) Fuckin sick man. Youre sick! I got like uhh fuuckin Eight Youre SICK! youre sick, dude Sick! (okay so your constitution was eight?) Eight! Think about it  think about how youre Sick think about it! Cmon!  Go to bed tonight thinkin about it. Can we make you feel bad enough to take this back???? W-WHY- WHY ARE YOu doing this?? You gotta ASK yourself right now. Dude he just needs the d4s dont even trip dude. Yeah hes lookin for d4s! Oh WOW hes HOldinG UP the d6s so we can See That he’s not using- HOW MANY IS THAT??? You’re a fucking maniac! youre SICK Youre fuckin- HONESTLY? -sick man SEE somebody dude STOP THIS KINDA- GET SOME HELP- just Listen to us you Sick Fuck -JUST GET SOME HELP Sick Fuck SOMEBODY STOP HIM!!! Stop It!!!! WHERE’S THE DIRECTOR??? STOP IT 😠 Edit it out! CALL WIZARDS OF THE COAST! THIS IS- THIS- STOP!!!!!! Someone tabletop him if he drops the dice we wont take damage!!!! What weird homebrew bullshit IS THIS you FUCK??? fuckin reddits gonna Eat Your Ass About this you Know That?? yeah youre gonna Love It YOURE WHOLE ASS!! Cheeks and All Your Whole Fuckin Ass You Son Of A Bitch We’re all gonna eat your ass. We’re gonna eat your ass brennan! Youre never gonna- Eat your ass -sit again yoU fUCK (Okaaay!!!!! Uh-)

3. where is your bulb now? yes i am a zesbian (zac oyama lesbian) okay i just think he is so neat and this moment was SO powerful. like never before have i so fully lost my mind at a line of dialogue

4. my love, for you are my love, my one true love. i just think this whole speech is SO lovely and the way it did actual damage to the BBEG is so powerful and i just think siobhan thompson <3

5. end of FHFY episode two. you know the moment. you know.

[koalaaquabear]

The 5 hour finale live stream just concluded and y’all, it was crazy. It has been a wonderful several months with all you guys and I am so excited for April 8th and Junior Year. 

MASSIVE SPOILERS UNDER THE FOLD IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED THE STREAM YET. Here is my clusterfuck of a commentary. Enjoy!

Fantasy High: Sophomore Year Live Reaction -HOOT GROWL BABY it's time. I didn't react to part one but wOW that one was crazy. Get ready for EMOTIONS :'(( -SIG FIG RESCUE MISSION lol #ontour -well ok brennan that canopy shit is scary as fuck -murph is still looking like riz -Zaphriel and Ayda!!!!!!! -"HOLD ME BACK GORGUG" i love u emily -Brennan I stg -Ayda is Gorgug's dad lol -oh shIT they're totally in the cottage -heLL YEAH AYDA!! -oh GOD figayda kiss? exceptional. -if ayda dies i WILL throw dice at Brennan -ok brennan make me cry then -GET THE VAN GORGUG -gorgug truly is the greatest wizard of this age -#hugeblueguy -aww zac oyama i love you -"semi-fallen" oH dEar -gorgug texts zelda IMMEDIATELY i love him -amaZING thank you zelda -"ew, creepy, hate that" -zaphriel is the best character you guys, what a homie -i keep forgetting ayda can fly. like she has wings. i know that. -AELWYN! -nOPE someone is coming through the forest and if it's arianwen i will kill cry -HANGMAN???? -HANGMAN!!!! HIS DOG!!!!! -HANGMAN NO I LOVE YOU YOU'RE THE CUTEST DOGGY -adaine i love you baby -"the weak yogurt man" -what high ranking devil??? -fabian you're adorable -aww fabian has a puppy!! (i get that the hangman is eight feet long don't @ me) -that's the first "the ball" -lou can never have the highest roll -BARDY BOYS -oop kristen and riz time -tracker? i barely even know her -chills, brennan. chills -someone in the chat just said "so did skrank fuck zelda?" -intense muSIC -nononononononono -ragh, tracker, and sandralynn better be all right -ooo a sTICK -HELL YEAH RETURN OF THE RIBBON DANCE -"riz weeps" holy shit i love him -"something bad always happens when we go off together" -#RIZTEN -awwoOOOOOOO -ayda can fly too! -absolutely FUCK this bridge ABOUT 30 MINUTES -poor ayda -please say they're ok brennan -"put your tongue baCK in your mouth" -sANDRA LYNN NO -"what kind of arrows" "you know what kind" fuCK OFF BRENNAN -if baxter dies i will cry -wait faerie fire is a cleric spell..? absolutely fuck me -ok aelwyn let's fuck shit up -calling the bank in the middle of this nightmare forest lol -heLL YEAH ZAPHRIEL -luck check luck check luck check -"y'all are going to turn into dragons" -fabian straight up cries? what a fucking rich kid -NO WAY HE HAD T H E COIN??? -REMOVE CURSE BABY -"nnOOO!" lmao -ally and brennan are in the chat -kristen's religion is REALLY coming in handy -the name was turned into the night yorb lol -"how's that axe feeling?" "..pretty light ;)" i love him -ayda can lift the axe??? exceptional -FIG IS KALINA? ABSOLUTELY RAD -brennan has created a place where illusions are real and emily is holding him TO IT -"do you have a dongle?" incredible -EMILY I LOVE YOU! KALINA IS A YOUTUBER BABY -wretchrot is baCK baby -aelwyn i love that -"i am a low quality child" "yeah ayda you're a bad kid" -"hey bitch" emily axford is a goddess -im sorry cOURT OF ELDERS? -NO I WILL CRY -ROLL INITIATIVE TIME -go OFF hangman -ooo some high initiatives babyyy -zac oyama is my favorite ever -"trackerrr" -brian as soon as emily was threatened said "how dare you" -brennan you FUCK "i'm awake for all of this" FUCK YOU -fig and her mommy issues: an album -absolutely FUCK THE TREE GUY -kick that wood elf BITCH ABOUT ONE HOUR -fuck him UP fabian, shit in his gODDAMN mOUTh -"SPRING BREAK YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER" -pleASE BRENNAN LET HIM SHOOT HER WITH THE TINCTURE -spRING break this is for the corn god -okay nevermind riz is holding his action -i love the intrepid heroes they're adorable -"ice feast" fucking love them so much -yES the ball thank GOD -brennan..? -"her rage ends" tracker = barbarian -FIRST NAT 20 BABY -"IT 100% WORKS BUT IT 50% WORKED" -that's the second "the ball" -bOOOOOOO BRENNAN -mad plans for the tree guy -sorry, is his name crAFTME ROOTDRINKER? -oh ok it's aelwyn we're fine -cone of cOLD baby i love aelwyn what a babe -you absolutely hate to see it -ragh my baby i love you -SPRING BREAK -tracker nO PLEASE -TRACKER JUST CRIT OH NO -brennan is really good at acting this btw -wait 14 on a crit??? i mean oH NO kRISTEN, bOO -disPEL MAGIC BABY -ALLY BEARDSLEY YOU ABSOLUTE GOD -aww kristennn is babyyy -tracker nooo don't cryyyy -you've sAVED your GIRLFRIEND -"some of us have already done that today" fig the sHADE -ally simply musT get new dex -absolutely fuck that brennan i don't need that vampire pixie -FUCK IT UP AYDA -FIGHT ME IN THE SKY! -"does a 29 hit?" daMN zac that absolute SHADE -53 DAMAGE?? CHEJ IS SO FUCKING STRONG -"goddamn paper lantern" -absolutely fuck you brennan -nevermind gorgug and adaine both passed the con saving throw -"i don't like you" lou really gets personally upset about this and i love that -nO NO NONONONO aelwyn and tracker are down -FUCK IT UP ADAINE -gdi brennan don't do this to us -ABSOLUTELY FUCK THE TREE -fig is straight up gonna kill her mom -this is scary as fuck -HANGMAN HAS A BREATH WEAPON AND YOU DIDN'T SAY SHIT??? CHOKE ON GRAPES BRENNAN -FUCK EM UP HANGMAN ABOUT 1 HOUR AND A HALF -wood elf is DOWN baby hoot growl -kristen thinks the elf is gak lol -23 DAMAGE??? AC OF 25??? ABSOLUTELY FUCK IT UP FABIAN -SHENANIGANS TIME FOR MURPH -HELL SECRET AGENT TIME -27??? RIZ YOU'RE THE HOTTEST -third the ball -imagine the ball is secretly SO HOT without the hat -YES BRENNAN GOT A NAT 1 EAT YOUR GODDAMN DICE -sweEET -fourth the ball (they've all been Lou cuz of course) -incredible turn murph -kalina is SO GOOD at skateboarding -#bloodphoto -KALINA HAS 23 WISDOM? absolutely fuck me -oh hELL YEAH FIG COUNTER THE COUNTER -emily is doing some SHIT right now you guys (fear spell) -DAMMIT that high as fuck wisdom -sorry WHAT she rips open sPACE??? -BABY BETTER SAVE THE GODDAMN DAY -let's go BABY -"mMMHHHHnnN leET ME tOUCh ItT" baby is fucking weird -"baby vs mommy" i love you siobhan -aelwyn better not DIE brennan -riz baby let's get it -trACKEr -nAT 1??? kristen is unCONSCIOUS?? -HUMAN DETERMINATION!!! THE GRIT BABY] -wait aura of life is badass!! they can't lose damage?? -okay scrap that we're gonna TURN UNDEAD and then MASS HEALING WORD? absolutely incredible -gorgug has so much goddamn health -FUCK THIS TREE DUDE -KILL IT AYDA LET'S GO -"her girl's side" *in lou voice* okAY bRENNNAn -second nat 1 but both of them re-rolled -GEM!!!! -LET'S GET GORTHALAX BABYYYY -"BIG DADDY" -ayda is so turned on lol -KILL IT CHEJ OKAYYYY -fuck this centaur -i'm so nervous -puT THOSE DICE DOWN BRENNAN -"you're gonna drop." shuT UP -riz is fULLY DEAD???? -i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. -sHUT UP BRENNAN -baby is DEAD oh my GOD you absolutely hate to see it ABOUT 2 HOURS -nO NO NO NO NO NO NO PUT THAT CROWN AWAY BITCH -absolutely fuck me, the nightmare king is totally fucking back i hate myself -aww fabian is baby -hELL YEAH FABIAN SPRING BREAK -"i've lost one friend, that's too many" fabian is adorable -"that's a full ass miss, my guy" -sandra lynn just crit on chej :(((((( -14 damage is not very spring break of her (she did 28 but it was halved because gorgug is such a strong boyyy) -LET'S GO LOU -almost all of them are spellcasters wtf (only one who isn't is riz but he has a daily misty step) -fuck em up hangman -fUCK EM UP HANGMAN! d8 + 2d6 +8 i think -figaroth the unfaethable baby -THOSE ARE SOME SHENANIGANS FIG I LOVE IT (she's shattering the rubies to get a revivify diamond) -casts teleport??? aelwyn came here to FUCK -"i would love to teach you this spell" aww the abernant sisters liking each other is my new aesthetic -fuck em up adaine -you can hit the tree on a 12 babyyyyy -heLL YEAH 44 DAMAGE ADAINE IS STRONG NOW -kalina is not even that cool she just said "that's enough of that" in the most uncool way -2 down 3 to go! -omg wait it would be so badass if they could just remove curse on kalina -"Mr. The Insatiable" -ayda is such a sweetheart "i don't care if you want me to date your daughter but i do hope you love me" -"I LOVE THIS SONG" yes siobhan me too -on a DC 20 she got a 31!!!! consider my jeans creamed -SHRED BABY GIRL!!! -KILLIAN IS DEAD! RIZ IS ALIVE! -ayda is so turned on AHHH -I LOVE RIZ SO MUCH "am i interrupting something???" -fuck him UP chej! 3 hits, no crits -hell yeah mr. march!! oh sorry wrong series -a gROUP PROJECT i'm DEAD -someone in the chat called him "snac oyama" and you're rigHT -siobhan's straight fucking this tree UP -the spellcasters are like all out of spells at this point -fuck OFF arianwen. KILL YOUR MOM -"where's your father, aelwyn?" "last i saw, adaine killed him so *shrug*" i lOVE HER -FUCK THEM UP GORTHALAX -abolutely fuck the nightmare king -waIT GORTHALAX IS GONNA KILL THE NIGHTMARE KING -sidenote: fig calls gorthalax pops -dO IT BRENNAN kILL YOUR OWN BIG BAD -this treeant has GOT to be dead -NAT 1 on that attack?? SPRING BREAK BABY -no we haven't seen kalina in action brennan, and we do not want to -OH SHIT THE TIE! YOu just got FUCKed bRENnan eaT youR DICE -yeS AYDA ROAST HER -"GOTTEM!" -i'm sorry i just hallucinated, did you say 6 ATTACKS? -time to go VIRAL BABY -19 intelligence, 23 wisdom, 20 charisma for kalina? absolutely fuck me -riz just got kICKed! you absolutely hate to see it -GODDAMMIT -KALINA IS HOMOPHOBIC CONFIRMED ABOUT 2 AND A HALF HOURS -brennan be like "im about to kill this bird" -absolutely fuck me i hate this -let's go FIG -time to caTCH the bALL -murph has the same thinking face as riz and it's adorable -this is not very spring break brennan -DC 25 acrobatics check? c'mon faBIAN -29????? -fifth the ball (from the hangman) -"there's just something endearing about him" fabian loving his friends is adorable -absolutely fuck me that fire elemental is adorable -absolutely swaddle the ball -well hot take but fuck the nightmare king you guys -absolutely NOT brennan do NOT kill adaine you PSYCHO BITCH -PLEASE ADAINE LIVE -STRAIGHT DEAD? FULLY DEAD? FUCK OFF WITH THIS INSTAKILL SHIT BRENNAN -hell yeah ayda is back and kristen has the revivify diamond -aelwyn FULLY banished that unicorn -it's good to know ragh really doesn't want them to die -YES RAGH IS BACK BABY -fuck em up kristen -s/o to DND Beyond btw absolutely banger website -hell yeah mass healing word is awesome -clerics are GOOD you guys i should play more clerics -FUCK IT UP AYDA -SANDRA LYNN IS BACK BABY -skater chej is my favorite thing -aBSOLUTEly fuck the tree -i have no idea wHAT is happening ABOUT 3 HOURS -fuCK YOU nightmare king -i absolutely hate this battle but at least gorthalax is still standing -gorgug better split this gd tree -"what if we just kill kalina?" yeah zac it's that goddamn easy -brennan almost just fucked everyone -"does she want to borrow my teddy bear?" the SHADE -"MAKEOVERRR" i love you siobhan -this tree SUCKS -battlemaster is cool as fUCK SPRING BREAK -BARDY BOYS also i think that was a nat 20 -i can't imagine the thistlesprings watching the battle livestream and like worrying if gorgug is going to die -FUCK HER UP THE BALL -ABSOLUTE SHENANIGANS FROM MURPH! -with ADVANTAGE BABY -"has anyone seen my hat!?" keep it off baby you're HOT now -"mirrors negate mirrors" "i think oscar wilde said that" i love them -#hotrizweek? -holy shit fig is FUCKING THIS BATTLE UP -HELL YEAH KALINA ROLLS A NATURAL 2!!!! -hell yeah adaine is back and SO MUCH is happening that i'm like forgetting to write down my reactions -kill this woody motherfucker baby -the music is too lOUD -ok it's normal now -fuck em up gorgug -i'm sorry the chat is saying he did 90 DAMAGE?!?!?!? -KILL IT CHEJ ILY -fuck off brennan, absolutely fuck off -ABSOLUTELY FUCK OFF BRENNAN -gorthalax is FULLY DEAD? absolUTELY FUCK YOU -SAINT KRISTEN APPLEBEES -adaine has SOLVED THIS SHIT -god all the abernant names are confusing -fuck you kalina ABOUT 3 AND A HALF HOURS -BRENNAN I STG IF RAGH ENDS UP DEAD -hellish rebuke that bitch -c'MON faBIAN HIT that BITCH -wait is kalina a rogue and a druid? absolutely incredible -FUCK IT UP FABIAN -OMG THE HANGMAN BETTER FUCK THIS UP -YES THE BALL 31 DAMAGE -so the stream just ended. i'll say it again: absolutely fuck me -ok so we're back and kalina got fucked up -WHAT THE FUCK A NAT 20???????? YOU ABSOLUTELY LOVE TO SEE IT -ALLY WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THIS -I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS AND NEITHER CAN BRENNAN -MAGIC IS REAL AND SO IS MY ALLY -i can't believe this. eat your GOD damn DICE brennan! -OMG ARE THE NIGHTMARE KING AND THE GODDESS ONE AND THE SAME? -THEY ARE! THE NIGHTMARE KING IS THE NIGHTMARE QUEEN -brennan is CRAZY AHHHHH -brennan absolutely stop this tension -28 insight. brennan is fucked -GO TOWARDS HIM KRISTEN -YES!!!! PLEASE SAY THIS IS A GOOD THING -ALLY GOT A NAT 20 THEY BETTER BE RIGHT -fear. is. not. real. -this is just like the ending of moana -NO WAY BRENNAN I LOVE YOU (you wouldn't believe it from what i have said but it's true) -this is intense i'm about to cry -you're meeting god and you say "is it too early for this?" -LMAO 5'9" -Moral of the story: IDK and that's OK -ok ally make me cRy -HELL YEAH NEW SHIRT BABY -i'm so emotional -"well oBVIouslY cASsAndRa" i wish every deity had names as normal and human as cassandra -fuck them UP cassie -i love that tracker's just like "uh... babe?" -love having god in your corner -no more hangman puppy :((( -RIZTEN are the CUTEST i love them "i love all of them, riz the most, we know this" -"we still need the crown for our grade" FABIAN I LOVE YOU -"counselo- former counsel- i'm an assistant :(" why do y'all think this man is hot -KILL ARIANWEN -"she tried to hurt me in my shattered state?" "that's her MO" aww adaine my baby -HOLY SHIT PLEASE GIVE GILEAR ALL OF ARIANWEN'S MAGIC -GORGUG YOU SWEETHEART I LOVE YOU -cassandra throwing SHADE -ThE vANdS -aelwyn throwing SHADE -AWW RAGH I LOVE YOU BABY brennan lives another day -"a big bug gave me a riddle" that is NOT what happened -aww the hirelings are all crying and i DO NOT stan -hell YEAH cassandra OH I STOPPED KEEPING TRACK OF TIME IT'S BEEN OVER 4 HOURS -hELL YES HANGVAN -i love you fabian -nO IS CHUNGLE DOWN BIM REAL? -maybe the real chungle down bim is the friends we made along the way -GARTHY i love them -arthuR aGUEFORT - absolutely wild -ayda and arthur is crazy -"snOGGING THE HEADMASTER'S DAUGHTER ARE WE?" -awww that is so smooth fig "you don't need to make me the most magnificent creature because it seems you already have" -ARTHUR PULLS THROUGH -garthy is a cutie i love how they care so much for ayda -oH FUCK ME garthy is ayda's child from her previous life -"your girlfriend's daughter fucked your mom!" goddammit siobhan i can't handle this -if they fail i will cry -CHRONOMANCY!? absolutely fuck me -"professor principal headmaster aguefort" -hell yeah arthur you're killing it -faelwyn? absolutely can't handle it -aww kristen is baby -jawbone and sandra lynn are ok? amazing -jawbone is the best character -"our parents are great" kill me why don't you siobhan -AWWW FUCKING STOP BRENNAN WITH THESE GIFTS -i just cried he wants to adopt her -"you're easy to love" jawbone is fUCKING me up -LYDIA BARKROCK what a badass i love her already -"a pheonix whom everyone she touches is reborn better" fuck off emily -gorgug is a cutie <3 <3 -ABSOLUTELY KICK SKRANKS BIRD ASS -GORGUG CONFIRMED FUCKS -riz is a dork i love him -who knew "you're so much like your father" could make me feel like that -GILEAR IS MOVING THE FUCK IN BABY -GILEAR WITH SELF CONFIDENCE IS MY AESTHETIC -aww jawbone gave ayda autism books? jawbone is the sweetest to ayda cuz OF COURSE HE IS -AYDA GETS HER SPELL!!! -Ayda's Comprehend Subtext is the cutest spell ever -adaine and fig's friendship is too cute -craig has always been down for everything. i don't know craig but i love him -YES HOOT GROWL HOOT GROWL I'M SO PROUD OF RAGH -"BAD KIDS FOR LIFE" RAGH IS A CUTIE -NO FAELWYN IS REALLY HAPPENING I CAN'T -fabian's laugh is so cute -i love how nervous fabian is -WAIT FABIAN AND AELWYN ABSOLUTELY WILL FUCK? -fabian's gonna get his KISSES IN -aww i get how hyped figayda is but they are truly so adorable -weLL EMILY AXFORD I WILL LET YOU HURT ME LIKE THAT -they said i love you :((( -tracker only deserves the best -TRACKER'S GOING TO FALLINEL? I LOVE HER -ragh is going too? gay road trip! -that's adorable -ABSOLUTELY NOT BRENNAN FUCK OFF DO NOT SAY THE NIGHT YORB IS GONNA BE THE NEXT VILLAIN -BRENNAN NO YOU BITCH I HATE YOU THE NIGHT YORB IS THE VILLAIN OF JUNIOR YEAR? -that was crazy. i cried, i laughed. i am fuCKING HYPED FOR CROWN OF CANDY AND JUNIOR YEAR GANG!

[let-it-raines]

Catch Me If You Can (36/40)

298 days. That’s how long Killian Jones was away from a baseball field. It’s less than a year, only part of a season for him, but it might as well have lasted a decade as he alternated between physical therapy and spending an excessive amount of time sitting on his couch.

But then he came back and won the World Series.

It’s something no one saw coming, and it’s certainly not something anyone who knows about his arm would predict. Now it’s a new season with new possibilities, and anything could happen. On-field reporter Emma Swan will be there to cover it all even if she is not his biggest fan right now.

Asking her out live on-air will do that.

Rating: Mature

a/n: Whaaaat? Two chapters in two days? What kind of alternate universe are we living in?? 😉 This is totally to make up for the last few chapters taking forever even though they’re literally just sitting on my computer!

Thanks to @imagnifika​ for her awesome art, @resident-of-storybrooke​ for reading these words and so many other words of mine (it’s a lot), and to @wellhellotragic​ who prompted me with the idea that inspired this whole thing all the way back in June!

AO3: Beginning | Current

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-/-

Killian fucking hates Boston.

It’s a great city full of good food, and in another lifetime, he’d mostly likely enjoy living here. Right now, the air is crisp with the scent of fall, and trees are in the middle of losing their leaves, the ones remaining a myriad of oranges and reds that remind Killian of sitting in a park in Cincinnati with his mother raking up leaves and then jumping into the piles before cleaning them up for the city. He had to have been four or five then, but that’s one of the first memories that he has. Looking out the window of his hotel room to a park that looks almost identical reminds him of that.

He should be happy, more than happy really, but when you’re trying to get to the World Series next week and are currently tied 2-2 in the AL Championship Series against the Red Sox on the way to getting there, happiness isn’t exactly the most common feeling.

And they’re playing in Boston tonight, and despite the fact that they won last night, beating both the team and the deafening roar of the crowd, Killian is not entirely convinced that they’re going to win again tonight. They could still come back from it by winning the next two games at home, but he’d really rather win here and then win the sixth game at home when he’s pitching and not have to deal with the nastiness of going to a seventh and deciding game.

Who in the hell wants to play sports for a living? It’s too damn stressful.

Losing won’t kill him, not at all. The fact that he’s having the season he’s having, especially with all of the ups and downs and lay-offs, is incredible and a full-credit to his team. But he got the taste of being the last team standing last year, and he wants it back.

Some players never get their hands on the trophy, and Killian is greedy enough to want it twice both for himself, his teammates, and his family.

And Emma. He wants it for Emma.

So, Killian really hates Boston and the fact that they keep putting them in close situations like this. Close games are often the best ones, the ones that have everyone on the edge of their seat, but Killian would kill for an easy night.

“The city isn’t going to implode just because you’re staring out at it with evil in your eyes.”

“One can hope though.”

“That’s entirely sadistic.”

He huffs and turns from the window to look at where Emma is sitting in bed (they’ve stopped bothering to get different hotel rooms now) with her knees pulled up so that she can rest her laptop there. He woke up this morning to her typing away. Apparently, she didn’t finish her work last night, so she had to wake up early this morning to send in a report before the deadline. Walsh’s firing has ended up having Emma needing to write more on top of her regular work, and even though she says she doesn’t mind – “I like writing,” she keeps saying – he knows that it’s kind of a kick in the teeth for her to have to do some of Walsh’s work.

The man is never fully going to go away, obviously. He and Brennan are like a bug that won’t die no matter how much you squash it.

“Are you almost finished with your report, love?”

“Yep,” she says. “I’m finished with it and have moved onto doing my prep work for today’s game as well as a little bit of online shopping because there are these boots that I really want but can’t decide if I’m going to buy.”

“That’s the hardest decision you’ve ever made.”

“Says the man who spends hours trying to decide which identical blue button-down shirt he wants to buy to ‘update’ his wardrobe.”

Killian scoffs and walks forward to flop down on the bed next to her, shaking the mattress with his movement, until he’s flipping over on his back and spreading out so that he takes up most of the space. Emma always hates when he does that.

“My clothes may not be as varied as yours, my darling, but it does take effort to look as good as I do on a regular basis.”

He turns his head to the side to look at her, a smile on his face, and she simply rakes her eyes up and down his body, very obviously perusing him. “You are currently wearing a pair of sweatpants that have a hole in the ass and a hoodie that I’m pretty sure has a permanent stain from some kind of baking accident. Your fashion sense is amazing.”

“You are literally in a pair of pajama pants with Snoopy’s face on them.”

“You wear the same two uniforms all the time.”

“Sometimes we wear the black ones.”

Emma hums. “Those are my favorite. I’ll stop making fun of you for things if you can convince the owners to let you guys wear the all black uniforms more often.”

“You were particularly fond of those on Players’ Weekend.”

“I’m a fan of a man in all black.”

Killian shifts on the mattress, propping himself up on the pillows until he’s mostly resting against the headboard. He can see Emma’s computer screen now, half of it covered with statistics and the other covered with Nordstrom’s website and a pair of boots. If there’s one thing Emma will splurge on, it’s boots.

“Buy the boots, Swan. Live a little bit.”

Emma arches a brow. “Am I made of money?”

“No,” he sighs, leaning over to kiss her shoulder. “That would be very convenient if you were. I’d never work again.”

“If you’re living off of my salary, you’re screwed because I’m definitely going to buy these super expensive boots. I think they would look really cute with the black suede skirt.”

“Ah, yes, I know the one,” he says sarcastically.

“Shut up,” Emma laughs, half-heartedly reaching over to slap his shoulder. “You do! I wore it when we went to dinner last week, and your eyes practically fell out of your head.”

Killian tries to think of what Emma wore last week, his mind blanking on everything at the moment, but then he’s brought back to a memory of the two of them going to eat at Palma on Cornelia Street last week. She’d looked gorgeous that night, her legs going on for miles aided by the heels, and they’d been late for their reservation because the street one block over was Jones Street and Emma insisted that he take a picture underneath the sign for her to send to Liam and Elsa.

He had not been amused, but in his defense, he really wanted to eat.

“Hmm, I think I do recall that one now that I think about it. You should definitely get those boots to wear with that.”

“I didn’t need your permission, but thank you for the approval. Do we need to be getting ready to go have breakfast with everyone?”

“I’m pretty sure breakfast is over down in the lobby.”

“No,” Emma sighs, clicking a few buttons on her laptop until he sees that she did indeed buy the boots. “We’re meeting everyone for breakfast at the café at the end of the block at ten.”

Killian groans and throws his arm over his eyes like the dramatic ass that he is. “That means I have to get dressed.”

“Well, I would prefer it that way. Your pants show off what you’ve got going on in both the front and the back, and I think you might get arrested for public indecency. That’d put a damper in the whole trying to get to the World Series thing.”

“Would you bail me out?”

Emma shrugs her shoulders and closes her laptop. “Eh, maybe. I might not have the money with the boots I just bought.”

-/-

They win that night.

It’s close, far closer than Killian would like watching from the sidelines, and he chews more gum than he thinks he’s ever chewed during a game. Rum would be preferable, but that’s not exactly the best solution when he’s got two nights until he’s got to pitch in the game that could bring them to the World Series.

Al really has far too much confidence in Killian for putting him in position in the line-up.

-/-

Killian fucking loves New York.

Sure, it’s hot and crowded and sometimes smells absolutely horrendous, but he loves it. He’s lived here for seven years, had his family live here for more than that, and he can’t imagine having to ever live anywhere else.

This is his home.

For awhile, he didn’t have one, not really. Everything changed when his mom died, the house feeling far emptier than any lived-in house should feel, and it only continued to empty as the years went on and Brennan became more and more of a distant figure. And as much as Killian loved Vanderbilt, that was simply a temporary home.

Manhattan? This is home.

One day he may like to move a little outside of the city to a place with a big yard and less traffic, but right now, everything he loves is here.

Everyone.

“Uncle Killian,” Lucy whispers, tugging on the hem of his shirt, “is it time to eat dinner yet?”

“Not quite yet, Luce. We can go ask Anna about it, though, yeah?”

He bends down and picks Lucy up, resting her on his hip while she wraps her arms around his neck so that she doesn’t fall. He’s picked her up thousands of times, had her little head nestled onto his shoulder twice that many times, but there’s something peaceful about it now as they stand in one of the sitting rooms at Liam’s house looking out onto the street in front of them as cars occasionally pass by and the leaves keep falling from the few trees that line the street.

They got in from Boston this morning, immediately went to practice, and then most everyone came to Liam and Elsa’s house for dinner as some kind of pre-game Friday night dinner to get everyone’s minds off of things.

There are more people in this townhome than it has seen in years, and he doesn’t think anyone is complaining.

Killian is a little bit, if only because his mind is very much focused on tomorrow and not screwing up to let everyone he loves down, and that’s why he’d walked away from the crowd in the kitchen and living room and wandered upstairs to the sitting room that no one ever wanders into.

Except for Lucy apparently.

Kids seem to foil all kinds of plans, and Lucy is not going to be having a fun day tomorrow since she’s most definitely up far past her bedtime.

He is officially an old man.

“What are we eating?”

“I think it’s lasagna. You know, like big spaghetti all moved together.”

“I know what lasagogona is.”

Wow, that was a butchering of the word lasagna if he’s ever heard it.

“You certainly don’t know how to pronounce it.”

Lucy scoffs, like she has never been so offended in her very short life, but she doesn’t say anything else as he walks down the staircase with the wood boards groaning beneath him. Immediately, he’s bombarded by people. Will, Belle, and Elsa are sitting on the ground with diagrams of seating charts spread out between them. Killian would have at least twenty-five questions about why they’re doing seating chart arrangements for the wedding tonight, but he already knows that it’s because they’re using Elsa to help figure out where to sit some of the more difficult people.

(He assumes he and Emma don’t count as those difficult people, but it really depends on how Will feels about him that day.)

Robin, Kris, Liam, Roland, and Addison are sitting on the couch in the living watching what Killian knows is Trolls because he’s been forced to watch it exactly seventeen times, and Eric and Ariel are standing in the kitchen with Anna cooking.

And, well, apparently Emma too.

“Are we sure we trust the blonde to cook for us?” Killian teases, putting Lucy down on the barstool. “Because I’ve had her cooking before, and I’m not sure we should allow her to feed so many people at once.”

“I’m blonde,” Lucy interjects.

“Yes, yes you are. Can you cook, little love?”

“Mommy doesn’t let me.”

“Funny,” Emma huffs, her eyes pointedly staring him down, “your uncle doesn’t seem to think I can cook either even though I’m only tossing the salad and am perfectly capable of that.”

“SoSo, we’re just going to forget the entire cucumber you dropped on the ground earlier?” Anna asks as she lays rolls out on a pan.

“What about the nearly slicing your finger open?” Ariel adds.

“What happens in the kitchen is supposed to stay in the kitchen.”

“Technically,” Eric sighs, “it hasn’t left the kitchen.”

“You guys are fu – fun,” Emma stops herself and changes the word, her eyes blowing wide when she remembers Lucy is in the room. “Luce, sweetie, do you want me to get you some carrots so you can take them in the other room to watch the movie with Addy and Roland?”

“Yes please.”

Emma turns around and opens the fridge, quickly grabbing a bag of sliced carrots, and hands them over to him for him to hand to Lucy. She takes them, mumbles a “thank you,” and then is sprinting to the adjoining living room to watch the movie.

“So you’re just bribing children now, Swan?”

“Yeah,” she shrugs, “but with carrots so it’s healthy. Babe, can you check my phone and see where everyone else is? Ruby said they would be here by now, but I haven’t heard anything from them. Or David and Mary Margaret. I guess they’re all in traffic or something, but it’s radio silence on their end.”

Killian bites the inside of his cheek to keep from giving anything away, hoping that his tan keeps his cheeks from flaming red. “Where’s your phone?”

“In my purse on the table.”

He nods his head and turns around, thankful that it’s a little bit out of sight of Emma, before he’s shuffling through her small purse to find her phone hidden behind every small object known to men. There is a string of texts from Ruby about Graham taking forever to get home and her almost leaving without him, and Killian sincerely hopes that Ruby didn’t actually leave without Graham. That would go against the plan.

Mary Margaret and David, though, are legitimately stuck in Friday night traffic, so at least he doesn’t have to lie about that.

“They’re on their way, love,” he tells Emma, putting her phone back in her purse and walking back to the island so that he can prop his forearms against the cool countertop. “Anna, you realize a few of us have to play a game tomorrow, right? I don’t think we can eat all of this.”

She waves a wooden spoon in the air, little bits of sauce splattering on the ground. “It’s called portion control. I’m sure you’ve heard of it.”

“Killian has. I haven’t,” Eric laughs. “Though, I’m more of a seafood man myself.”

“There’s only so much seafood that you can eat, though, before you become a fish.”

“You only say that because you don’t like it as much as I do.”

Ariel pats her husband’s chest. “Exactly.”

“Oh my God,” Will groans out, and everyone in the kitchen turns to look at him laying out on the floor. “This is impossible. Why do people get married?”

“I think you mean why do people have weddings,” Belle corrects him.

“I’m kind of questioning both at this point.”

Belle flicks a little name card at Will, and Elsa immediately snatches it back and puts it at the little diagrammed table where it’s supposed to be sitting.

“Why have a seating chart in the first place?” Emma asks. “Why not just let people sit where they want to sit?”

“My mother,” Belle sighs, this discussion obviously a frequent one, “is very traditional and specific about how things should be. She grew up in high society, cotillions and things like that, and even though Will and I mostly want this to be one big party, she has opinions. This is a compromise to make her back off until there’s something else she sets her sights on.”

“Huh,” Emma huffs. “Well, as long as I don’t have to sit next to Killian the entire time, I think it’ll be fine.”

“Shit,” Elsa mumbles under her breath even though the words echo throughout the room. “We don’t have cards for Emma and Killian.”

Laughter rumbles through Killian’s stomach as he walks back over to Emma to place his hand on the small of her back over her sweater before taking the strawberries and putting them on the cutting board to slice up. “Swan, it looks like you won’t have to sit with me because we’re apparently been uninvited from the wedding.”

“Damn. I guess we’ll just have to be wedding crashers.”

“I was thinking we could stay home and not wear uncomfortable clothes but still eat incredible food. We could probably dance a little too.”

“He means the horizontal tango, if you know what I mean.”

“We all know what you mean, Will,” Ariel sighs with a shake of her head but laughter on her lips. “But there are people here related to Killian who probably aren’t too inclined to hear about his sex life.”

“I’m not particularly inclined to hear about Emma’s,” David says, and Killian whips his head around to see he, Mary Margaret, and Leo walking thoughthrough the open garage door. “Or Killian’s. Though I hope they’re one and the same.”

“Okay,” Emma hums, dragging out the word, “we need a change in conversation, something like everyone greeting my brother and nixing this conversation entirely.”

“I mean, I’m kind of curious, but Leo is right here.”

“Mary Margaret,” Emma gasps, and Killian misses what has to be an absolutely priceless look on her face in favor of putting his knife down and walking over to Leo so that they can do their secret handshake that seems to change every time they see each other.

“I like you hat, bud,” Killian compliments. He tugs on the bill, and Leo blushes underneath it. “I think there are some other guys here tonight who would sign it for you if you want.”

Leo’s brows furrow together and the smile on his face completely goes away. Shit. What did Killian do wrong?

“Maybe another hat. I don’t want this one to get messed up.”

“Why not?”

“You signed this one,” he whispers, even if it’s not quiet at all, “and you’re my favorite player.”

“I thought it was your favorite because I gave it to you, kid,” Emma protests as she steps around him and leans down to wrap Leo up in a hug, squeezing him too tightly out of some kind of silent protest.

“I only asked for it because Killian is my favorite player.”

“You’re my favorite nephew.”

Leo rolls his eyes, and while he and Emma may not be related, Killian knows that he got that from her. “I’m your only nephew.”

“Which makes me your favorite.” She kisses his cheek, which makes Leo’s cheeks turn as red as the strawberries. “All the other kids are in that room right over there if you want to go hang out with them until dinner is ready.”

Leo runs off, and David and Mary Margaret take his place by stepping in and greeting everyone with a wave or a hug. It’s so many people, all of them from different social circles, and yet it’s amazing how well they’ve all managed to blend together. Killian knows that he started off with more people than Emma simply by the nature of his job, that most of the people in this house would technically be considered “his,” but he likes to think that they’re Emma’s too.

His phone buzzes in his back pocket, and he pulls it out to see a message from Graham just as Emma sits down and picks up a glass of wine.

Graham Humbert: We just pulled up outside. Can you send Emma out? Say something about needing help with the dessert. I think Ruby would like to tell her before she tells everyone inside.

Killian: Yeah, I’ll send her out. Congrats, mate! I’m happy for the two of you!

“Love?”

“Yeah?”

“I think Ruby and Graham just got here. Do you want to go out and see if they need any help?”

“Why don’t you do it?”

Of course she’s going to be stubborn about.

“I’m finishing this salad,” he lies, even though he really should finish the salad since he took it over from Emma. Will lets out another curse having to do with the seating chart, and there’s a reassurance from Mary Margaret that it will all be okay. “Just go help them. They have the dessert. You love dessert.”

Emma’s brows bunch together and her lips snarl, but she puts the glass of wine that she’s drinking down and stands from the barstool she’s sitting on to go walk out of the garage door and down the stairs. She’s going to be pissed at him for the entire walk out there, but he knows that it won’t be long. And curious as Killian is, he leaves the kitchen to walk over to the bay window so that he can look down at the street where Ruby and Graham are getting out of Graham’s squad car with boxes of pies in their hands. Emma quickly appears, her hands moving as she talks, and then Ruby puts her set of boxes on the hood of the car.

And while Killian can’t hear any screaming or squealing – Emma isn’t really the type – he knows that some kind of inhuman noise just came out of her before she launched herself forward to hug Ruby, squeezing so tightly that he imagined Ruby can’t breathe. And then Graham nearly drops all of the pies when Emma hugs him too. Killian chuckles to himself, a smile stretching across his lips, and then David comes up behind him.

“What’s all that about?”

“You’ll find out in a minute, I’m sure.”

“Secrets don’t make friends.”

“Yeah, yeah they do,” Killian laughs, smiling at David. “And I love how casually you’re referring to me as your friend. It really touches a man’s heart, Dave.”

“Watch it, or I’ll take it back.”

By the time Killian looks back out the window, Graham is gone, leaving Emma and Ruby out to talk. Killian is sure that they’ll be out there for awhile, probably far later than they intend to, and he knows he’ll have to go with them when the food gets here. The door opens then to Graham walking inside with the boxes. Ariel immediately rushes to help him, mostly likely because she likes to talk his ear off about all of the cases he can talk about (she’s very into True Crimes oddly enough), but Killian walks over to save him, grabbing Graham’s hand in greeting before pulling him into a hug and patting his back.

“Congratulations, mate.”

“Thank you,” Graham beams, his smile infectious. “I still can’t believe it.” “What can’t you believe?” Ariel asks as she swipes a finger through the whipped cream on a pie only for Eric to slap her hand away.

Killian looks over at Graham, silently asking if he wants to say something, and he nods, that smile still on his face. “I’ve asked Ruby to marry me today, and she said yes.”

“Congratulations!” 

“You did what now?”

“How could you not tell me this?”

“This is so exciting!”

“Whatever you do, don’t do a fucking seating chart for the reception.”

It’s this big, loud chorus of voices and conversations, and it pulls in everyone from the living room too so that it gets so loud that Killian is sure the neighbors can hear. Killian isn’t even entirely sure which legs belong to who for how much movement there is, hugs being exchanged between people who didn’t even get engaged tonight, and it all starts to calm down a bit only for Ruby and Emma walk in the door.

Obviously, things never calm down again.

Ruby and Graham don’t even get to spend much time with this group of people, especially Graham since his schedule never seems to match up with any of theirs, so it’s nice to see the overwhelming joy that’s there for the two of them.

“Congratulations, lass,” he sighs into Ruby’s ear when she finally makes her way to him at the edge of the room, her arms wrapped around her shoulders. “Were you surprised?”

“Yes,” she sighs, her laughter moving through him. “I can’t believe you knew about it.”

Killian rubs his hand up and down her back. “I had to make sure Emma was out of the apartment when it happened because Graham just knew that she would somehow find a way to show up if left to her own devices.”

“I think I could kiss you for doing that.”

“I don’t think that’s very becoming of a newly engaged woman.”

Ruby pulls back and winks at him before leaning forward and kissing his cheek. “You know that I don’t like following the rules.”

“What is this I hear about you knowing about this before it happened?” Emma questions as she saunters up to him, a soft smile on her face and the slightest bit of mascara smudged under her eyes. “I thought we had an agreement about lying to each other, twenty-nine.”

Killian hums and wraps his arms around her back, pulling her closer to him while her arms lazily hang over his neck. “Yeah, well, I was under strict instructions that you weren’t to know because Graham didn’t want you to tell Ruby.”

“I can keep a secret.”

“It wasn’t my secret to tell.”

Her lip quirks to the side before she presses up on her toes and gently guides her mouth over his. “I’m glad you didn’t tell me. I like that Ruby was the one who got to tell me.”

“Me too, love.”

“All of our friends have to stop getting married. This is getting expensive.”

“Well, you shouldn’t have blown all your money on those damn boots.”

Emma slaps the back of his head even as she kisses him, and he wonders exactly where along the way did he do something right to get to have this be his life.

“Okay,” Anna yells over all of the noise, and Killian looks to see her standing on a barstool as if she needs any help commanding attention, “I know everyone is super excited right now, but let’s all be super excited over dinner. It’s time to eat.”

“Thank goodness,” Lucy breathes out. “I thought I was going to perish.”

“Where’d she learn that word?” Emma wonders as everyone starts laughing. 

“I don’t even know.”

The conversation and laughter never diesdie down, not when there’s that many people around, and Killian’s stomach hurts from it all, his face a little too. His nerves about the game tomorrow and all that’s on the line haven’t disappeared, but they’re not at the forefront of his mind either. He has other things to focus on even if his mind is getting a little dizzy at the thought of keeping track of it all, but it becomes easier as the night passes, the light outside fading away into darkness, and as children move off to go to sleep, Addy and Lucy to their rooms and Leo and Roland stretched out in a guest room until their parents are ready to go home, everyone else settles into the living room with a replay of last night’s game in Boston on so that they can all watch some more footage in preparation.

He’s sitting on the floor in between Emma’s legs, and her hands are lulling him to sleep from the way that she keeps playing with his hair.

It’s like magic, her touch, and he’s utterly under her spell.

“I’m freaking the hell out about tomorrow,” Will whispers quietly as they watch him stumble over a catch in yesterday’s game.

“Me too,” Robin adds in. “Honestly, the only thing that’s keeping me calm, especially since I’m not playing, is knowing that not only did we make it to the Series last year, we won the whole damn thing.”

“Here’s the thing, though,” Killian starts as he leans her head further into Emma’s lap so that she can scratch his scalp. Damn, that might be the best feeling in the world. “No one gives a fuck about what happened last year. That trophy on our shelf from last year? It’s old news. All anyone cares about is what’s happening this year. All we should care about is what’s happening this year. Everyone always complains about those guys who can only seem to live in the glory days when the glory days are long since gone, and we’re not going to be those men. We’re not resting on our laurels. We’re going to win tomorrow, and then we’re going to win the next four games to win the whole damn thing.”

“What if we don’t?” Will questions, and for once, Killian can tell that Will is legitimately nervous.  

“We’re going to, Scarlet. I won’t take another option.”

“Look at my little brother being all motivating,” Liam teases.

Killian does raise his hand and his middle finger at that. “Younger, you ass.”

“You’ll always be my little brother. I’ll stop calling you that when you’ve got three World Series championships to your name, yeah?”

“Oi, I know that I’m good, but I don’t know if I can rely on these guys to not only win this year’s but also another one after that?” Emma slaps the back of his head, and he leans back to look up at her. “I’m obviously kidding, my love.”

“Yeah, but that’s not a great way to motivate the guys for tomorrow when you had a pretty good speech going there.”

Robin coughs, something exaggerated and totally on purpose. “Killian saves his best speeches for right before a the game starts. Probably because he doesn’t have his brother and his girlfriend distracting him by making fun of him. Not that I’m complaining or anything. I’m all for taking that piss out of Killian.”

“Someone hand me a pillow,” Killian demands, looking around. “I want to knock the smirk off of Rob’s face.”

“That’s an impossible task,” Ariel starts, a bright, happy smile on her face. “Let’s go back to loving each other and watching game footage. I don’t know about you guys, but I want that trophy back. I get a bonus from both Eric and Killian’s contract for it.”

“I always knew that I liked you,” Ruby adds in, and everyone starts laughing, the long day and late night probably getting to everyone a little bit. “Do you share the bonus with your husband since he earned it? I’m asking the important questions here as someone who is about to get married?”

“Rubes.” Emma curls her fingers in his hair and shakes her head. “Are you about to be one of those people who works in that you’re engaged all the time?”

“For the next two weeks, you bet your ass I am. It would normally only be a week, but since I think all we’re about to talk about now is baseball, I’m asking for two.”

“I would expect nothing less than you.”

Everyone leaves eventually with sleepy smiles on their faces and leftovers in hand, and as nervous as Killian still is, he finds yet again that it’s not at all like last year when he was going through this all. He’s got Emma curled up next to him in bed and a happy life outside of work, and at the end of the day, his life won’t be over if they lose.

He simply doesn’t like losing.

-/-

Killian’s arm feels fine.

Good. Great even. It’s the best it’s felt in months, even if he’s still a little timid with how much he’s using it and the fear of it screwing up again since there is such a risk for that, but he feels good standing out here under the heat of the sun with thousands of people milling in the stands and thousands more sitting at home watching on their television just wondering if today is going to be the day that the Yankees officially cement their spot in the World Series with the Dodgers already waiting there.

It could be a repeat of last year, just like everyone thought it would be, and Killian damn well intends to make those thoughts come true. They’re not resting on the laurelsrelying on what happened  of last year. They’re doing it for themselves once more like it’s all brand new and they don’t know the high of being at the top of the world.

Sweat trickles down Killian’s forehead past his cap, and he reaches up to remove his hat for a second while he wipes the sweat away with his forehead. It’s not hot out today, only around sixty degrees, but Killian’s skin is on fire with the rapid beating of his heart that hasn’t calmed down since this morning.

One. Two. Three.

Strike.

One. Two. Three.

Ball.

One. Two. Three.

Strike.

One. Two. Three.

Strike, he’s out.

Travis is out, the top of the fourth inning is over, Killian has thrown some damn good pitches in tight situations to keep the Sox from scoring, and the Yankees are up 4-0.

There’s still a long game to go, though.

Not for Killian, though. He’s out for the day. He knew going in that Al wouldn’t keep him in for longer than this. Honestly, he’s surprised that he allowed it for this long, but this is all so they’ll stay in the correct pitching order if they make it to the Series.

When.

Not if.

Killian wants to stay in the dugout and watch from out here, but he knows that he has to go inside and get massaged and do his cool-down exercises. He can watch from one of the televisions with everyone else who’s inside and make his way back out toward the end of the game.

It’s like all at once these games are five minutes and then suddenlysuddenly, they’re five hours.

But the time does pass as Killian goes through his routines to make sure that he’s healthy and that his arm is healthy, and by the time that he’s back out in the dugout changed into a pair of clean joggers and a pullover, his hat from earlier long gone, it’s the top of the ninth with two outs, only one man on base, and the score highly in their favor.

If they blow a 9-2 lead, they deserve to have to play it all out in a deciding game tomorrow.

“Come on, Lance,” Killian shouts out, banging his hands against the railing. “Just one more throw. One more strike, and you’re done.”

“He’s going to mess up if you keep yelling at him like that,” Al spits out as he chews on the gum he’s always chewing.

“No, no he’s not. He’s got this. We’ve got this.”

“You have far more optimism than any sideline coach should have.”

Killian turns his head to look at Al, a smile stretching across his lips. “It’s a damn good thing I’m not a coach then.”

And then there’s the sound of Lance’s ball hitting Will’s glove, the yell of the word “strike,” and the roar of the New York crowd as the game finishes.

They’re going to the World Series.

Killian’s heart pounds in his chest, emotion welling up in his throat, and all of the sounds become muted. Every single one of them except for his heart and the blood running through his veins. People yell and shout and scream, but he can’t hear any of it as he rushes out into the field to join his teammates where they’re jumping up and down, arms wrapped around each other as they become a mesh of one instead of twenty different men, those who played today and those who didn’t.

Someone pats his back, and the noises come back, cheers of celebration and curses and familiar voices of the people who he spends his life with.

They’re not resting on their laurels of last year, he thinks to himself once more. They’re achieving new things.

“Jones,” Lance calls out as the pile disperses and everyone starts moving around the field, “your girlfriend wants an interview with us.”

Killian arches a brow, spinning on his heel to try to find Emma, and he sees her standing with a microphone in her hand and Jeff standing with the camera behind her. She’s wearing the damn boots, the ones she just ordered, and if there wasn’t already a smile on his face, that would cause his lips to reach his ears.

He has no idea why Emma wants to interview him when there were five innings played without him, when Lance and Eric and Will are the guys who deserve the attention and the praise, but he knows that a lot of the time Emma isn’t in charge of who she interviews. That’s left up to the people behind the scenes.

Killian wants to kiss Emma and the smile on her face, wants to wrap her up in a hug, but he holds back, stepping up to her with Lance next to him as Frank Sinatra begins to play over the speakers. He’d think that he’d get tired of this song, but it never gets old.

“Congratulations,” Emma starts, her hand reaching up to adjust her earpiece. “That was just an incredible game. How does it feel to be going to the World Series for the second year in a row?”

She holds the microphone out to Lance. “No, no. Let Jones answer first. He usually takes the words right out of my mouth.”

“You sure?”

He nods his head, and Emma moves the microphone over to him. “Well, what do you say twenty-nine? How does it feel?”

Killian reaches up to scratch behind his ear. “I can’t curse, can I?”

“Only if you want to pay a fine.”

“Right then,” he laughs, smiling down at Emma and completely ignoring the camera. “It feels good. Better than good. This season has obviously had its ups and downs, especially for me, and I’m happy that I didn’t let this team down when they deserve so much. I’m – ”

Killian stops talking when all of the sudden Emma starts darting in the other direction, and by the time that he realizes what’s going on, the cool feel of Gatorade is being poured down on top of him so that chill bumps rise on his arms and his clothes cling to his skin. Killian sees Lance first and sees him shaking out the sticky liquid from his uniform, and then he sees Will and Eric running away with the orange container where the Gatorade once was. But then he sees Emma a few feet away absolutely laughing her ass off, and even if it goes against their agreement about how they’re going to act when working, he can’t stop himself from running toward her and immediately wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her to him as her hands push at his chest and laughter passes through her lips.

“You’re covered in Gatorade,” she laughs, still pushing at him even if he knows it’s not a true effort. “It’s sticky.” “And you ran way and let it happen.”

“Which was obviously useless considering I’m going to be covered in it now.”

“Exactly the point,” he chuckles while Emma stops squirming against him and casually wraps her arms around his neck, obviously having accepted that she’s going to be covered in Gatorade too. “We’re going to the World Series, Swan.”

“I know.” And then she kisses him.

-/-

-/-

Tag list: @authorarsinoe​ @stunningswan​ @eala-captian @galaxyzxstark @xellewoods @mariakov81 @ultraluckycatnd @royalswan @shey-starsfury​ @superchocovian​ @sals86 @iam2307 @ashley-knightingale @karenfrommisthaven @scientificapricot @captswanis4vr @ultimiflos @jamif @idristardis @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @tiganasummertree @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @captainsjedi @teamhook @notoriouscs @kmomof4 @ekr032-blog-blog​ @cs-forlife @andiirivera @jonirobinson64 @qualitycoffeethings​ @carpedzem​ @tornadoamy​

[staggeringsmite]

im living for your takes so: lapin, amethar, ruby, jet, liam

ahhhhHHH, again disclaimer i love all these guys so much

5. jet, i really really loved jet, her story just got cut right as i was beginning to become truly invested in her transition from “please don’t give me the throne” to “actually i could use this power to dismantle wrong systems with my sister at my side” i genuinely believe that if she had lived she would be at the top of my list, but the tragic unresolved notion of finally wanting to be queen i cant Handle it. it makes the show Very good, but as i said i had just started to really get on with the transformation and growth of the character before she died.

4. amethar, dad i absolutely love you. he has lost so much and been so absent and just been trying his hardest, and lou absolutely guts me every single week with his acting. his absolute shift from being prepared to die at every turn to wanting to live for ruby and saccharina is exactly what i wanted for his character, but at the same time there is a cruel part of me who knows that he was not intended to live this far into the series and is so curious about what would have happened had brennan succeeded. it is built into the character for him to die and yet live on, so the idea of besting amethar the unfallen is,,weirdly appealing for this brutal setting. i am so glad to watch his journey thus far and definitely want him to live now because of what did happen but at the same time live in a realm of what-ifs according to brennan’s original expectations for killing the king.

3. liam, oh my god i love liam so so much, the reason he’s low is just that,,i don’t really see where his character goes from here. i absolutely want him to beat the shirt out of the carrot and take his absolute revenge, but i feel as though his growth as a character capped kind of early? it makes complete sense!! losing your only friend and turning into peppermint batman is super freaking cool!! playing mind games with church members before icing them is fucking terrifying! it just seems as though he is set up for a rather unsatisfying end if he doesn’t find another familiar or something to live for beyond revenge (promise i’m not gonna get on a “revenge is not the answer rant” i wanna see some absolute revenge in here). i guess i’m mostly just doubtful that we will see a super satisfying end for liam, and that makes me sad because he was my favorite character at the start! i love his arc now too, but yeah!

2. lapin, oh lapin, my heart aches for the timeline where he lived to the sugar plum fairy fight. he was such an intriguing character who, unlike jet, captivated me from the start with wondering how his growth would play out. the intrigue, what he would have done with the sugar plum fairy/magic plot especially if the party still met saccharina i’m just, fully loved this character and his death for the first permanent character death of d20. as upsetting as it was, with the realizations about the bulb in his final moments. truly and incredible character, and i am so glad we got to meet cumulous, but similar to amethar just that i was more invested about where he was going to go and live in the what-if chamber for him

1. ruby, ruby!! ruby fucking rocks!! if i see one more person call ruby rocks a brat for the saccharina stuff i am actually going to scream but enough about that. ruby has been through so much and parallels her father so exceptionally well. she is the character i am most excited to see how her arc pans out, and i think part of why she is my favorite is because of the fact that there are so many different routes her character could take. she is bitter and lonely and grief-stricken and so so angry that the shadows bend around her. she is truly a wild card to me, so young and inexperienced, but so absolutely traumatized and just screwed over by the universe just when everything seemed to be going to plan for her. to think that a month ago in her life she dreamed of running away to the circus and is standing in the ruins of everything she ever loved is astounding and crushing, and i want so badly for her to destroy everything in her path. it’s what she deserves. <333

put five things in my inbox and i will rank them!

[brightsun-and-darkmidnight]

Changes to Find the Middle

TITLE: Changes to Find the Middle

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Oneshot

AUTHOR: brightsun-and-darkmidnight

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki helping you through a new medication regimen.

+

Image meeting Loki at the really "good/high" end of a mental illness (like bipolar).

RATING:  Teen

NOTES/WARNINGS: Mental health. Bipolar disorder. Manic to depression. Sexual relationship. Mentions of sex but no explicit content. Character not being herself. 

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Please be careful and take care of yourself. This might be a little triggering due to what I know of Bipolar disorder. Extreme highs (hypomania) and extreme lows (depression) are shown in this but thankfully this has a happy ending I wish everyone could experience in real life. Mental health is so important and People who have mental health issues often can not control themselves due to a chemical imbalance or traumatic experience in their life. Their behavior is often NOT their fault. Seek professional help if needed.

Song Muses: (Addicted by Saving Able) (You don't know by Katelyn Tarver) (Rescue Me by Onerepublic) (Inner demons by Julia Brennan) (Paralyzed by NF)

My Ao3: brightsun_and_darkmidnight

LENGTH: 2,413

*FINALLY..Read the warnings. Once you agree you can handle it...

 ~ ~ ENJOY  ~ ~

"How has your energy been? You look good."

I sat down enthusiastically in front of the doctor's desk, "really good! I have the energy to catch up with things now that a couldn't even think about doing a few months ago."

"That's very good. Are you hanging out with your friends again? I remember our last visit you said you missed them."

"Yeah I took your advice and told them. Only two of my friends are close now but they took me out of my house occasionally and I am feeling more confident with myself because of them."

"I am happy to hear that." The doctor smiled at me.

I talked really fast because my doctor needed to hear more, "Their friends got me into one of Stark's parties and it was… amazing. I met this new guy actually."

"You guys do anything fun?"

"We met at the party and things really sparked. Like REALLY sparked and we see eachother everyday." I did not leave the suggestive tone out of my voice.

"That's good. Go on dates?"

Excitement lit in me at the thought of all the amazing sex we had… but other than the few drinks he bought me and the takeout dinner… 

The doctor glanced at me, their look shifted… something shifted and I already knew what was wrong.

"Umm… well.." I rubbed my thigh out of nerves just THINKING about it. Just the thought of the gynecology appointment for STI testing I should get done. I cleared my throat as I awkwardly answered, "there's more… action going on than casual conversations." 

My face flushed with heat when they asked,

"You mean sexual intercourse?"

I nodded my head. 

I knew. Everyone that actually knew "normal" me… All of us KNEW I never have sex with anyone until a month a serious dating, at least. The type of dating where discussions were deeper things than food, half watched movies, and how our outward appearances looked naked. I never sexted when I couldn't actually meet the other.

The doctor carefully asked the famous question, "Have you used protection?"

I tried to laugh but it came out broken. "No. Once again I felt invincible, overconfident, and had the sex drive of a rabbit."

The doctor started to discuss my sleep that was nonexistent. Then the amount of food consumption that was high and all I have been eating was cheap takeout. I haven't been eating like my usual self who tried to keep eating healthy. Even through depression I ate frozen fruit. It was on my list every time when I absolutely had to drag myself to the store to get necessities. I explained how I have been the person who, "helps everyone out with extreme unrealistic enthusiasm" as I always said to be annoying during my normal window of mind set.

I went to the store to pick up my prescription for a mood stabilizer. I went home and as much as I REALLY wanted to answer the phone when seeing Loki's name. I just didn't. I forced the thought from my mind of...a really pleasure filled night. My body filled with the desire to be touched by another's body.

The phone stopped ringing and so did my sinful thoughts.

As usual there was no voicemail.

In normal circumstances there should have been one, with a declaration of loving longing or a stupid question in a way to just get me to get back in contact.

I stared at my phone. My mind was at war and the part fueled by my bodily behavior was winning. It became a game in my head that was unfavorably tipped towards my body's desire. He texted me if he could come to my place and the game was over. I hid the medication in the cupboard after taking my first dose.

I woke in an odd way… something was different.

I groaned as I moved and felt the bed still warm under my body. I opened my eyes as I inhaled at a similar scent. I was unsure if I was glad he was gone or upset he seemed to have just left. He usually stayed till I woke. I felt the sensation between my legs and knew I needed to make a gynecologist appointment before I had to go to work, praying I could get in after my shift tomorrow.

I made the appointment but it was not for a few days and Loki kept in contact. However I worked on letting him go slowly with not responding immediately and was to the point of making sure not to respond to him unless there were so many number of attempts to contact me.

I stared at my phone as a new text message appeared.

Loki asked a simple question, "Are you ok?"

I laughed and laughed till I could no longer bare to do it.

It WAS a simple question but no one ever wanted the real answer. No one wanted the burdens of another placed on their shoulders from SMALL talk. The truth was deeper and more time consuming than anyone could predict. So I sent the simple one worded lie and left my phone alone again, but silenced it.

It was a while before I checked my phone due to falling asleep to the discovery channel.

I was fully prepared for no new notifications.

I was surprised to see 2 new messages.

I wanted to throw the phone before I looked but the idea was squashed by excitement and curiosity.

Both of the messages from Loki.

"Do you want to meet up?"

Hour after the last message, "talk tomorrow. Goodnight."

I didn't answer back because my stomach tightened in an odd way. I was used to feeling good about a God wanting me but now...

I used positive self talk to encourage myself to not give in on my final day before my tests but that coping skill is easily the hardest to master. I found myself open the chat with him, start to type something arousing and had to delete it. I was pissing myself off. I hated the stage between "normal me" and "ill me" because my mind was constantly at war.

I decided to ultimately block Loki's number in an attempt to stop contact.

My test results came back that I was still healthy and relief washed over me..

Eventually those supposed friends stopped talking to me as they usually did because I was not "fun" anymore.

I was becoming my "normal" self again, thus putting in the efforts of a healthy schedule again.

However, the loneliness from staying in by myself. Not having anyone to talk to. Ofcourse, I had my coworkers that have always openly laughed at poor tastes of mental health jokes. I was losing interest in everything because, "why should I care" and "what's the point?"

I had to look presentable for work so while I was "public eye" ready, I did my shopping then. By the time I got home on the days of the extremely scarce necessity shopping, I was exhausted but my body was wide awake. I would toss and turn trying to sleep but it would not welcome me.

Then other times, I put the cold stuff away and went straight to bed without getting anything to consume. I would often cry myself to sleep, then wake too tired to do anything. 

On days off I would lay in bed and do nothing until the desire to use the toilet became too strong.

I would weep and mourn my favorite past times. Not actually my interests and hobbies but how much I could not will myself to just do them. I left the discovery channel play on the TV just for the sake of something familiar. When a little fact I knew would be mentioned it was like a smoldering campfire was stirred. 

A little life breathed into me from time to time and due to the doctor's recommendation, I got back into therapy again. It helped but the talks were hard and seemed to weigh heavily on me more once I was home. There are skills I should be using and strategic tips to get things done. However, sometimes I just could not pull the will into my grasp to participate in the knowledge of a healthy lifestyle.

My phone rang with an unknown number. I answered it due to expecting a response from my doctor.

"How have you been?"

I knew that voice… but I could not pinpoint it.

I answered, "I'm ok. But who is this?"

"Loki."

"Oh…" I scrambled for words but nothing came. How was I supposed to explain this to him, my current state in everything and the fact I blocked his number?

"Are you home?"

"I was just about to leave." It was a lie. 

A damn terrible lie. I had no plans of removing myself from my couch. It had everything I needed in arms reach because it was essentially my comfort fort now.

The doorbell rang and I was extremely tempted to act like I was not home but the person on the other end of the phone knew.

I sighed with dread ringing in my chest much like the damned sound of company at my door insistent on not giving up.

I opened the door slightly to see Loki standing there.

His eyes met mine.

"You do not seem ok." Echoed from my phone before he ended the call.

I looked past Loki because while it might have once been excitement, I felt anything but that currently.

I tried to push my words out louder than a whisper, "What are you doing here?"

"I have been trying to contact you.. more regularly as of recently."

"I have no intention of being a booty call anymore."

His eyebrows scrunched and he blinked.

I went to shut the door as I said, "goodbye Loki."

Loki's hand shot out and kept the door opened. "You were never."

I huffed in annoyance as hope rose slightly in my chest. Then the doubts from depression took that hope and buried it 20 feet further than before. Tears pricked my eyes after the past hour of seeming to be gone and dried.

Loki's face was of concern when he asked, "may I come in?"

My face felt like it contorted into pure agony as I tried to hide the sob erupting from my aching heart. I tried to swallow the huge lump in my throat but it caused further pain. Then finally from the pain that emitted from deep within me, the tears fell.

I was in the hurricane of emotion from having a visitor.

Joy from not being alone then, to the horror of having to explain.

There was too much to explain... My reason for treating him so vastly different since we met. My emotional state. All my emotions. My appearance of myself and my house. The medication on the counter that had purpose. My illness and why once again I was crying harder. Trying to explain what was WRONG with me and why I needed the medication.

Loki sat beside me at the messy and cluttered kitchen table.

"What do you mean you were 'too good' at the time we met?"

I sniffed but still had to wipe my nose. "It's a symptom of bipolar disorder. I can literally feel too good at some points of my life. I had unbelievable amounts of confidence and optimism. It's called hypomania. That's not who I am. I am much-MUCH more responsible than getting drunk and having unprotected sexual intercourse with someone I know nothing about on an intellectual level."

I watched Loki's tongue swipe his lips as they pressed together and eyebrows scrunched again in thought.

Finally he spoke, "Your vast knowledgeable facts from our FIRST conversation have been playing on that TV throughout our conversation. I can see several things that show your bright mind. The very mind I fell for."

My eyes glanced at him once again. "My knowledge does not change. Just the optimism, focus, and desire for it."

Things seemed to be clicking in Loki's mind. He looked at the medications once again and did not take his eyes off of them. "If you continue your treatment, you will be what you deem normal?"

A small smile pulled my lips as a puff of air escaped from my amusement. "Yes. What I deem as normal. Not anyone else meaning I will be back to my healthy self... If I could remember to take my medicine."

"I am going to help you because I want to see the happy medium that you keep mentioning. It seems that I have seen you at all of your worst moments." He gave me a side glance with a smile pulling at his lips, "I assume there is something I must like out of your normal."

I began to smile but a frown quickly placed it. "There is no telling when I will be normal again."

Gold shimmered over my medication.

"Perhaps now it will become easier to stay on your medication regimen."

I grabbed a bottle and examined it once there was no longer gold around it. "What did you do?"

"I will know where these containers are and be able to move them. I will also know when you open them." He got the spare phone out of his pocket, "should I not be able to contact you again through phone, I will simply move these containers to you."

I felt a little happier as I teased, "I guess simply blocking your number is not going to work anymore?"

Loki smiled, "There are plenty of other numbers I could use."

Loki did help me. There had to be a little adjustment to his plan of keeping track of my medicine. He bought a specific little container made for sorting pills into daily doses. He would help me fill the daily spots for medication and he put another enchantment on that one as well. 

Everyday he would come to my place and help with things that needed to be done. He would compliment me when I needed it. He would hold me when medication would make me drowsy. He would urge me to eat when I did not want to. He helped me make healthier choices when I wanted to devour the whole house.

He actually took me to nice restaurants when I felt decent enough to get out.

He would always know everything about my medication and with him being able to literally hold it in my face at any point in the day… well there was no longer the option to forget.

Loki was the constant supply of water to my thirst for knowledge. Due to that type of relationship we really connected. Like really connected. We talked about everything to varying levels of importance and on both ends were voicemails with ridiculous ways to entice the other to call back.

Sometimes I would purposely ignore his calls just to see what the next stupid thing would be left in my mailbox… I listened to the recent one just left on my phone a minute ago.

"I know your games by now, so call me back. ...My declarations of love can wait until you tell me what sweet thing I am craving. I am at the store, so do hurry up before I decide to buy 5 of everything in the candy isle." There was a faint sound of the typical background noise in a store. "Please hurry… I fear I am going to need a bigger cart."

[scarletwidowvibes]

Zack Addy x Reader

Christmas Time! 🎄

A/N: Okay so literally the perfect gif since this is the episode this is based off of. Also I know it’s not Christmas but I’m watching this episode and have gotten inspired. Lastly Zack is a lil bean man who deserves to be protected at all times 100% and that totally wasn’t lastly cuz I must inform you all that the reader is Brennan’s sibling.

Small warning: a little bit of angst but nothing to serious I don’t think, it’s only in one small part.

Your day started out great; you and Angela spent a long time decorating the lab and trying to get everyone into the Christmas spirit, which was a harder task than expected. Of course when people heard there was a party, which wasn’t much of a party in your opinion, they jumped into action.

You’d been hanging in the lab with Angela, Temper, Seeley, and Dr. Goodman while you all waited for Zack and Jack to get done with the bones when suddenly the alarms went off. Of course Booth jumped into panic and rescue mode as he tried to open the doors.

“The doors seal automatically, don’t worry about it.” Angela reassured as Goodman and Temper walked by you two and towards Booth.

“What do you mean don’t worry about it?” Booth asked as you followed Temper down the steps.

Movement out the corner of your eye made you lose focus on the conversation and immediately your eyes were drawn to Zacks almost naked form.

Your eyes trailed down his body; the only thing breaking your trance is when you heard everyone groan.

“Wait what?” You asked, turning to look at Dr. Goodman.

“Hodgins wasn’t following protocol.” He huffs out making you groan as well.

“Really Jack?” You asked, trying to keep your eyes from glancing at Zack. Jack just shrugged with a sheepish smile and you rolled your eyes as you turned back around, not before catching one more fleeting glimpse of Zack.

When you were fully turned you saw Angela smirking at you and a glint in her eye. You gave her a questioning look to cover up the somewhat obvious thing you just did, fighting off a fierce blush.

Now you were being told that instead of going home for christmas you’d all be staying in the lab. You and Temper weren’t really affected by this since you two weren’t planning on doing anything anyway.

The first time you could remember Christmas was the Christmas your guys’ mom and dad left. Russ tried to save Christmas and for you he did, you got to open your presents and didn’t think anything of the fact that your parents weren’t there since you were only around 6.

The thing that really made it memorable, and not in a good way, is when Temper got extremely mad and stormed upstairs after yelling at Russ. He’d spent a couple minutes comforting you after you’d started crying but then he left and never came back. You and Temper went through a lot of foster homes and when Temper turned 18 she took you and you both started your life.

You’d never had another Christmas after that though you do still send Russ a Christmas card and he returns one. Luckily you already sent it out so your christmas plans were done.

And fortunately for the others they get some time to visit with their family’s on Christmas Day. You’re happy they at least get that so their Christmas isn’t completely ruined.

Night came fast and currently you’re laying next to Angela in some sleeping bags on the floor. She’d said some inspirational words that got Temper’s mind working in high gear and made her go off to work on the bones.

You can see Angela is trying to figure out Temper’s words and meaning so you decide to distract her.

“Don’t worry about Temper, she’ll be fine. Working is the best thing for her around Christmas.” You tell her. Angela turns to face you.

“It’s because of your mom and dad leaving, right?” Angela asks softly making you sigh but nod. “I’m sorry sweetie.” She continues, rubbing your arm comfortingly.

“It’s fine, I don’t remember much about them anyway.” You say with a light huff. Angela notices you’re uncomfortable with the subject and changes it.

“So I saw the way you were looking at Zack when he was in a towel.” She teases. You blush and roll your eyes, turning your body to face her.

“One he was wearing two towels, two I wasn’t even looking that long.” You defend yourself. Angela just smirks and shrugs.

“Admit it, you think he’s hot.” She says so casually it’s insane.

“So what if I think he’s hot. I think Booth’s hot but I’m not going after him.” Angela rolls her eyes at this.

“Y/n we both know Temperance has Booth wrapped around her finger and visa versa. Come on you and Zack would be so cute together and you already dance around, just cut to the waltzing.” She says in her somewhat teasing and yet excited/happy voice.

“Only your first sentence makes sense.” You say with a shake of your head, turning so you’re laying on your back.

“Okay well you two don’t have much sexual tension yet but I’m sure you could change that. Everyone knows Zack hasn’t been in many relationships so maybe he doesn't understand his feelings,” she looks over and sees your deadpan look. With a shrug she continues, “Even geniuses can be confused. To be honest I think you should try some flirting, obvious flirting since he’s not the best when it comes to that kind of stuff.”

“Okay well one problem, I suck at flirting and you know this.” You say. Angela smiles over at you.

“Sweetie, you are talking to a master flirt. I’m going to teach you the ways.” She says in a sultry voice.

So for an hour or so Angela teaches you how to flirt. Most of it being how to flirt obviously but she throws some subtle into it. You wake up to Angela shaking you.

“Do you smell that?” She asks, when you shake your head she continues, “Coffee.” 

Immediately you start smelling it and bolt up, almost knocking foreheads with Angela. You two spring up and start speed walking toward the coffee machine.

“Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee.” Angela says as she grabs a cup from Goodman. Booth offers you a cup and you nod in thanks. You feel eyes on you and when you turn you see it’s Zack, staring at you. He looks away and starts a conversation with Jack.

“So let’s do Secret Santa. Liven the place up with some more Christmas spirit.” Angela announces.

“What a wonderful idea Ms. Montenegro.” Goodman replies. Instantly him, Jack and Zack start trying to make the name picking into some complex thing. You pour out some things in a can and give it to Angela. Booth rips the paper with names on it and puts the names in the can. Angela shakes the can and holds it out. 

“Pick a name and if you get your own put it back and try again.” Angela says. The three men stop and look over at her before each picking a name. Angela holds the can out to you and the name you pick is Temper’s.

‘Great. This’ll be great.’ You think to yourself as you ponder what on Earth you’re going to get her. You’re pulled out of your thoughts when you see a hand waving in your face. You poke the hand then turn to the person it belongs to.

“Oh, hey Zack.” You say, smiling brightly. He returns the smile then shuffles on his feet slightly.

“Hi y/n, um I was just wondering if maybe you’d want to meet my family. Since, you know, they’ll be coming by.” He says a little awkwardly. You don’t respond for a few seconds, the weight of the request weighing on your brain. Zack gets nervous and starts stuttering out an explanation.

“Hodgins requested it. He said that it’s a good way to start a relationship and since, you know, I’ve met Dr. Brennan I thought you should meet my family. But it’s okay if you don’t want to. I don’t even know if you want a relationship but Hodgins and Angela kept trying to convince me and now-” He started to ramble so you cut him off with a chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth.

“I’d love to meet your family. And I’d love to be in a relationship with you.” You say, your smile growing bigger. He smiles and you can see a faint blush that coats his cheeks.

“That’s great.” He breathes out. Suddenly Jack is calling him over and you can hear Angela calling your name. You can see him hesitate before he plants a sweet kiss to your cheek then walks over to Jack. You stroll over to Angela who congratulates you by giving you a huge hug.

It’s time to meet Zack’s family and you’re feeling quite anxious about it. Temper insists on walking you to the meet place and you happily agree. You and her wait for a short time, somewhat in the shadows, until Zack turns around to look for you, a slightly disheveled look on his face.

When his eyes find yours his look changes to one of pure joy. He gestures you over and, giving Temper a hug, you walk over. You smile at each of his family members as they introduce themselves. You all talk about random things until the time was up. 

Turning you notice that Temper has left. You feel a hand on your shoulder and turn to see Zack looking at you. You rest your hand on top of his and smile up at him.

“Zack?” You ask casually, looking back to the place Temper previously was.

“Yeah?” He replies, still looking down at you.

“I know I’m not supposed to say but, what do I get Temper for secret Santa?” You ask, huffing lightly.

“Well if I help you will you help me figure out something for Agent Booth?” He asks and immediately something comes to mind.

“The voice command robot, he won’t have time to get something for Parker so he could give him that.” You reply and Zack smiles at you.

“That’s brilliant. Angela has an aesthetically pleasing picture of you and Dr. Brennan laughing over breakfast. I bet she would like that as a present, framed most likely.”

“I knew that genius mind would help.” You say, turning around and looking up at him. You smile and kiss the corner of his lips again.

“I’m not the only genius.” He responds, smiling widely.

[miasswier]

miasswier’s ultimate glee ranking: no 60

60: Bash

Written by: Ian Brennan Directed by: Bradley Buecker

Overall Thoughts: I have mixed feelings about this episode. I like it, don’t get me wrong, otherwise it wouldn’t be so high on the list, but it also feels odd. The pacing is weird, and a lot of focus goes to the wrong issues. Almost all the music is slower, so the whole episode has a lowkey feel that always weirds me out a bit. I don’t know. I’ll try and untangle my mixed emotions throughout this review.

What I Like:

I will talk about this in the negative section too, but I do like that Samcedes is the A plot and that they actually dealt with the fact that they are an interracial couple, and one that will soon be in the spotlight. As you will see in the negative aspect, they didn’t go into it as much as I would have liked, but they did touch on it, and they did focus an entire episode on that aspect of their relationship. I appreciate that.

When Sam throws quarters at that woman who’s like “you can’t just throw things in the river”

That they dealt with gay bashing, and particularly that they dealt with it happening in New York, which is seen as a “gay utopia” of sorts.

I also really appreciated that they gave this story to Kurt instead of Blaine. It feels more in line with his journey, and plus, knowing Blaine had been gay bashed twice would just be a bit too much for me.

Watching this episode now, you can see how deeply Finn’s death is affecting Rachel. It’s not explicit, but  you can tell that so much of what she’s doing – the show and NYADA and the diner – is to lose herself in her work and her success. These last few episodes especially, Rachel begins behaving more and more erratically, which we know will ultimately culminate in her leaving her show to be on a terrible TV show. Now, to be fair, I could be giving the writers way too much credit, and this could just be a downward spiral that they decided to throw Rachel down for no reason other than The Drama, but I like to think that it’s all related to Finn’s death, and her coping mechanisms. Plus, it’s got to be hard to see your roommate engaged to his high school sweetheart, you ex get together with his high school sweetheart, and then your other best friend get back together with her high school sweetheart, all the while you know you will never be able to rekindle your relationship with your high school sweetheart. I feel for Rachel, here. More than I did the first time I watched this episode. I really do.

The scene with everyone in the hospital.

I also really appreciate that they decided to have Blaine sing “Not While I’m Around” as a solo instead of making it a group number. It was more intimate, and honestly, more effective. The moment when he climbs into the bed with Kurt and curls into him always makes me tear up. It almost feels too intimate to be witnessing.

The scene with Kurt and Burt, and how Burt sticks around and watches Kurt’s performance! Oh, I missed Burt.

What I Don’t Like:

The pacing in this episode is a BIG issue for me. We have three stories happening: Sam and Mercedes, Rachel and NYADA, and Kurt and the gay bashing. Sam and Mercedes’s story takes up at least 50% of the episode, leaving very little for anything else. And while I think it was an important story to tell, the gay bashing story was important too, and yet it got about 25% of the episode instead of the 33% it should have gotten. Even Rachel and NYADA feels like it got shunted a bit, and again, I think that the Sam and Mercedes story was important to tell, but it makes for a very strange feeling episode. Also, there are literally six main characters being focused on on the show right now, and yet Artie had zippo to do. He’s in like four scenes. What the hell?

I also have mixed feelings about the Sam and Mercedes story in general. As I’ve already said multiple times, I’m glad they touched on race, and on the issues that Mercedes is going to face as a black woman going into the industry, but I felt like a lot of stuff they just barely scraped the surface (ironic since they gave this story such a huge part of the episode). Yes, they touch on the fact that Mercedes may alienate her black audience by dating a white man, but they then say that “white people don’t notice this stuff”, which is wholly untrue. They completely bypass the reason why Mercedes doesn’t want to alienate her black audience – because, as a black woman, it’s going to be harder for her to even get a white audience. Straight, cis, white people still see people like them as the norm, and everything else as “niche”, and therefore only for the people like the creator. Mercedes Jones, as a black woman, is an artist for black people, and a lot of racist people are going to think that no matter what. Also, racist people will notice that she’s dating a white man and they will make a stink about it (though they will be on Sam’s side, despite not knowing him). Also, in general, this whole story gives off too much of a “poor Sam” vibe. It’s like the racism is affecting him because he can’t date the girl he likes, whereas for Mercedes its so much more complicated than that, but that seems to just be swept under the rug. I don’t know. I’m going to leave it here because otherwise I’ll get my head in a knot, but yeah. There’s a lot of aspects of this story I’m very unsure about.

The way that Carmen basically tells Rachel “you’re not special” despite the fact that she spent all of last season beating her over the head with the idea that she was in fact special. Also, in general, I don’t get why it isn’t an option for Rachel to take a sabbatical from NYADA in order to focus on Funny Girl. I get why Rachel wouldn’t take it (see above), but it surprises me that it doesn’t even seem to be an option.

Also, I’m tired of Rachel telling people she’s being an adult when she’s acting like a brat. Dear god.

Songs:

No One Is Alone: I don’t really get why Rachel has such a huge part in this song, and why it’s only Rachel, Kurt, and Blaine. It would make more sense to me if it were just Kurt and Blaine, or a group number with everybody. It’s a good song, but I’ve never understood their reasoning for the lyrical distribution.

You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman: I like this one a lot. And the whole carousel idea is so cool and aesthetically pleasing.

Broadway Baby: A more upbeat song, which is a nice change from the slow, lowkey pace of the episode. I grow to enjoy this song and this performance more and more each time I see it.

Not While I’m Around: Not a big fan of the recording, but I really like the episode solo version, and the performance is so raw and emotional. I like it.

Colorblind: This is a gorgeous song, but the scene is way too long and honestly pretty boring. She’s literally just recording the song. They couldn’t have had some other scenes playing while doing this? Also, why did they have her perform the whole damn song. I love Mercedes Jones, but I also love to be entertained, and as much as my ears enjoy this, my eyes drift pretty damn fast.

I’m Still Here: Kurt’s last official solo! It’s fantastic, and so well performed, and honestly I’m glad it’s a bit more upbeat, since, like I said, most of the songs here are pretty slow.

Final Thoughts: Pacing is a huge problem in this episode, as is the fact that they spent a lot of time on an issue that they didn’t even fully dive into. Black women are made to look like big bad meanies to the poor white boy who just wants to date their friend, and we’re supposed to feel bad for him, even though he says some pretty offensive things to them. They also tried to shove two PSA style stories into this one single episode, which ended in them greatly neglecting a really important story (the gay bashing) because there simply wasn’t time. It’s a good episode, and one I do enjoy, but despite it’s high ranking, it’s not an episode I would purposefully watch just cause.

[rebaobsessivelywrites]

The Profiler in the Therapist (ch 9)

You can find this entire fic here on AO3.

Fandom: Bones (TV) and Criminal Minds (TV)

Entire Fic Description:

Dr. Lance Sweets is no longer the innocent eager psychologist he was a little over a year and a half ago. His time as a prodigy profiler at the BAU was a blessing. His time in a serial killer's basement was not.

Now, scarred but healed, Sweets is 'retired' to calmer job in the FBI as a therapist. As he helps others, he helps himself. But... is it enough? What will he do when one of his most fascinating (unwilling) patients asks for help on a case? How will his new team take his past as his secrets slowly start to come out?

Entire Fic Warnings: cannon-typical violence, past torture, panic attacks, PTSD, serial killers

Chapter word count:  4,003

Chapter warnings: stressful uncle-hood, otherwise... none? let me know if I’m wrong.

Summary: The trial approaches, Rossi makes magic, Sweets begins plotting, and Jack is absolutely precious.

Please read the fic! First chapter, previous chapter, next chapter, master list. And let me know if you want to be tagged.

Lance relaxed in on himself as he rhythmically folded and rolled the slightly rubbery dough, slowly stretching out the starch into the characteristic texture of pasta. To his left, a large pot of water was just starting to steam, and behind him he could hear his cooking partner humming quietly to himself as he mixed spices and vegetables.

If someone had told him a year ago that he’d find this soothing—the motions of cooking, the sounds of the kitchen, the smell of Italian spices…. Well, Sweets would have been confused, to say the least. He had never liked cooking, growing up. When he was a young orphan in the system, the kitchen was firmly off limits in nearly every house he stayed in, sometimes violently so. Once his parents had adopted him, and helped ease him past his tumultuous stay with abusive foster families, the kitchen became a place of solace and whispered secrets—for just him and his mother—but he never cooked. In the beginning there were too many horrifying memories for him to stay when the knives were out and the stove was on, and later it became habit. He got over it by the time he had graduated early and was off alone at college, but his definition of ‘cooking’ back then was ‘heat it and hope it’s edible’. It had been a source of endless teasing from his mother.

Lance smiled softly to himself as he flipped the thin sheet of dough one last time, liberally dusting it with flour, before grabbing Rossi’s antique, well loved, yet pristine pasta cutter and lining up the blades with the edge of the dough. He thought his mother would be quite proud, if she could see him now.

Lance glanced up as his companion and mentor in all things edible appeared at his side, nodding approvingly at his technique. “You’re getting the hang of this,” Dave smiled at the young therapist.

Sweets smiled back, “Yeah, I think so. It’s starting to feel a bit like home.”

The profiler closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, “I can get behind that. And boy is it good to be home…”

“Rough case?” Lance asked in concern, moving to turn the heat under the now boiling water down.

Dave nodded and moved to take up the pasta cutter as Sweets moved away, continuing the task with practiced ease. “It hit JJ and Garcia the worst,” he shared, giving a small sigh. “Suicides are never easy, but when they’re accidental? Not only that, but prompted by a proxy strangler?” he shook his head, “It’s hard to get your head around.”

Lance grimaced slightly; he hadn’t heard the full story behind the case when Aaron had picked up Jack from their morning at the park. It was a lot worse and a lot better that he had thought. At least the killer hadn’t killed all those kids in person.

“But enough talk of killers,” Rossi declared with finality, dusting the fully cut pasta with one last layer of flour before scooping it up and plopping it into the pot of water. “How’s that big case you’re helping with going?”

Lance shrugged, easily transitioning away from the unpleasant topic of proxy killers, “I’m not really sure. I haven’t heard anything since I dropped off my final evaluation with Agent Booth and Ms. Julian on Wednesday.”

“Would that be Caroline Julian?” Rossi looked up from watching the pot, interest clear on his face.

Sweets eyes his friend carefully. “Yes…” he hazarded. He wasn’t entirely certain he wanted to know how Dave knew Ms. Julian or why he seemed so interested in her.

A faintly wistful smile crossed his face, “She’s quite something, isn’t she? A force of nature.”

Still a little cautious, Sweets nodded his agreement; if Ms. Julian put her mind to something, she was basically unstoppable.

Satisfied with Lance’s nod, Rossi turned toward his next task, plopping a sauce pan on the stove and moving towards the fridge as he spoke. “I met her through Hotch, as you might expect. I don’t know her well, but I have definitely enjoyed the few conversations we have had. But,” he paused, glancing up at Sweets, “You’re worried about this case and I’d bet anything it has nothing to do with Caroline.”

Lance heaved a gusty sigh and turned to lean back against the counter, “You’d be right.”

Rossi continued his current task—kneading spices into ground meat—but somehow managed to profile the younger man with his back turned, “It’s the partner pair, isn’t it? Booth and Brennan.”

The therapist squeezed his eyes shut, “Yeah.” He shook his head, even though Dave couldn’t see him, “I still don’t understand how Dr. Brennan can be ok with her partner prosecuting her father.”

“She sounds very logical,” Rossi hazarded.

“She is,” Sweets agreed, “But she’s not. I swear she feels more deeply than half of the people I help; she just refuses to acknowledge it.”

The Italian paused for a split second in his kneading, before continuing. “Are you sure that’s a problem? Do you have any reason to think she’ll let it affect her work? Based on what I’ve heard, she certainly hasn’t in the past.”

“No, I don’t,” Lance agreed, almost surprising himself with how easy it was. But he knew it was true. Just like how he knew Hotch would always be drawn to the BAU like a moth to the flame, he knew Dr. Brennan would always be professionally detached and a brilliant crime-solver. “But that’s not what I’m worried about anyway.”

Rossi scooped the meat up and dropped it in the now hot sauce pan, before turning to direct his full attention on Sweets. “What are you worried about?”

Lance took a moment, gathering his thoughts and examining Dave’s face, which was crinkled in concern and curiosity. “I’m worried… that this trial might irrevocably damage their friendship. I’m not worried about their work; I’m sure that no matter what they will at least pretend to be ok, and will keep it from affecting what they do together… But,” Sweets sighed. “They’re so much more than that to each other. They get each other like no one else, even with the parts that don’t—that shouldn’t—mesh.”

Rossi nodded, encouraging the young doctor to continue speaking, and moved to wash his hands.

Sweets slumped a little further against the counter, moving to rub his eyes. “The truth is, they’re friends and are incredible to watch.” He shook his head again, this time more to himself than anything else, “They’re best friends, with explicit trust and understanding between them, and I don’t want them to lose that.”

Sweets looked up to find Rossi now leaning against the sink, an earnest understanding crinkling his brows. “Dave… I’m afraid the trial could break the progress they’ve made.”

“Sounds complicated, kid,” Rossi agreed, “And they sure sound like an interesting pair.”

A little startled at the earnestly delivered understatement, Lance felt a smile cracking his face. He gave a light chuckle, “You have no idea.”

The veteran profiler gave him a small smile that crinkled his eyes, huffed a short laugh, and turned to the sizzling pan of meat to systematically begin breaking it into tiny little pieces. “I’m not sure how to help you, Lance. You’re not their therapist anymore, so it’s not like you see them all that often.”

“I know. Even if I did, I’m not sure I’d be able to help.” Sweets gave a one-armed shrug, still slouched against the counter watching Rossi work, “I guess I’ll just to what I can from the sidelines on this trial.”

Dave hummed his agreement. “You’ll do fine.”

Sweets nodded to himself and pushed off the counter, moving to retrieve the ingredients his friend had already mixed for the sauce. He’d been slacking enough; it was time to get back to work.

It was much later, when the pair were seated at Rossi’s kitchen table, wreathed in delicious aromas and feasting on the perfectly made pasta, that the BAU agent brought the topic up again.

He set down his fork and tilted his head slightly to the side, “I don’t know if it would help you at all, but I know what I’d do if it were me.” As Lance stared across at him in curiosity, Dave grinned, “I’d write a book.”

“A book?” Lance blinked in shock and confusion.

“Yeah. I might not even publish it, but something about outlining and gathering information… It helps me get my thoughts straight. Who knows,” Rossi grinned, “Maybe you could even convince them to go along with it; you could publish an analysis on their relationship.”

Sweets spent a long few minutes just sitting there, food forgotten, frowning at the idea. Write a book? Him? It was… a rather ridiculous thought. Especially since there was no way the anthropologist-agent pair would agree to go along with it.

But… he glanced up at Rossi, who had resumed eating but was still watching the therapist with an amused glint in his eye. It would be fun…

--

Sweets hadn’t expected to run into Booth and Brennan in the Royal Diner; his goal had been to grab a quick bite before heading to work. He should have guessed he’d run into someone from the Jeffersonian— as that was how he’d been introduced to the place to begin with —but it simply hadn’t occurred to him. As such, he had been mildly shocked when the partners had flopped into the seats across from him. Never one to turn down the opportunity to speak with the interesting duo, and with Rossi’s comments from the weekend still tumbling about his head, Sweets had simply greeted them and settled in for casual conversation over coffee and breakfast.

“So, how’re your cases going?” Lance inquired as a waitress left with their food plates, effectively interrupting a friendly debate over… carpet fibers? And their decomposition rate?

“We’re not working together,” Booth calmly informed his former therapist, looking almost relived as he broke through Dr. Brennan’s lecture.

“What?” Lance blinked in confusion at the pair across the table.

“We got split up,” Brennan informed him matter-of-factly, as though he simply needed the information phrased in a new manner.

“What?” his eyebrows furrowed, “Why? I was under the impression that the bureau had accepted my evaluation and cleared your partnership.”

Dr. Brennan shook her head, dismissing his assumption. “The FBI says we can’t work together during the trial,” the anthropologist somehow sounded petulant, underneath the factual tone she always seemed to use. (This was why Sweets was convinced there was so much more to the scientist.)

“You know,” Booth waved a hand negligently as he elaborated, “Brennan’s dad murdered the Assistant Director of the FBI.”

Brennan nodded, “His trial begins next week.”

That had Lance’s eyebrows shooting up… the date is already set? He huffed a frustrated sigh, “I should have been informed.”

“Of the trial?” Brennan frowned at him, “Why?” After a moment, she glanced at Booth, pausing when she noticed he wasn’t surprised.

Booth shrugged a little, “Oh, Sweets did the psychological profile on Max for the prosecution.”

“What? Why didn’t you tell me before?” she gave her partner an impressively indignant look.

Unable to resist, Sweets pointed at Brennan, “Why is that important to you?” The question was pure instinct from all their sessions together. It earned him a glare from both of his ex-patients, though.

“Sweets!” Booth exclaimed reproachfully, “No therapy.” Lance bit his tongue and restrained a sudden urge to throttle one or both of them as Booth turned to his partner and shrugged, “Because while it would matter to, say, a normal person, I just figured you wouldn’t care.”

After a brief pause, Brennan nodded in satisfaction, turning back to her coffee, “You’re absolutely right.”

Lance’s urge to cause bodily harm shifted to himself as he found himself wanting to slam his head against the table. Maybe repeatedly. Honestly, he loved watching the two of them interact and knew how well they worked together, but he was sincerely regretting clearing them from therapy. It was so painfully clear that their relationship had become even more enabling since they had ceased their sessions.

“Dr. Brennan,” Sweets leant forward slightly, attempting yet again—however futile he knew it would be—to reach the stubborn scientist, “everyone you work with, including your former therapist, is endeavoring to imprison your father.”

“Booth is right; it doesn’t bother me,” she insisted, putting her cup down.

“Booth is wrong, yes it does,” Sweets found himself sniping back almost childishly. Mentally, he slapped himself— he was going about this all wrong, but he had no idea how to change his trajectory. He sighed, “Perhaps I could suggest you look past your instinct to rationalize the situation and allow yourself to feel it as well?”

Brennan, just as he had suspected, simply raised her eyebrows and shook her head at him, “I’m fine.”

Sweets let out a frustrated huff. “If you were fine you would be balled up in the corner,” he gestured behind her for emphasis, “weeping or semi-catatonic.”

After a beat, Brennan turned her incredulous look to Booth, “Does that sound fine to you?

“Sorry Bones,” Booth shook his head, surprising them both, “I got to agree with Sweets on this one.”

Sweets found himself staring at the agent for a few seconds, marveling over the fact that he was preceptive enough to cater to his partner’s quirks but still recognize the pain she was hiding. Truly, this pair was incredible.

The therapist quickly recovered and turned his attention back to the subject of his concern, absently observing the frustrated set to her jaw. He focused on giving her his most honest and earnest expression, “I think it’s important that you know that we know that the colder and more objective you appear on the outside, the more pain you’re feeling on the inside.”

“I’m fine,” she insisted, voice a little more strained under the undisguised frustration and anger at being ganged up on.

There was nothing Sweets wanted to do more in that moment than push. He wanted to pin her down and force her to take that last step and confront her emotional vulnerability… but Sweets was more experienced than that. Not only had his time at the BAU given him practice at learning when to push and when to back off with some of the most dangerous people around, but his time as a therapist had given him a new point of reference for how to use that to help people— not just stop them. And this… Well, there was nothing more Sweets could do.

Dr. Brennan had shut down completely, and wouldn’t be listening to anything he said for some time now. Even if he did get her to listen and manage to make that progress he so desperately wanted to make, he knew this wasn’t the time. Her father was going to trial, and she was going to be fighting against every single one of her friends to keep him out of jail.

She didn’t need him to push; the trial would stress her more than enough on its own.

After a moment of slightly awkward silence as the therapist and scientist stared at each other across the table, Booth stood abruptly, effectively cutting the moment short. “Well, Sweets, we should get going,” he announced, giving them both a brief smile as Brennan eagerly followed his lead and stood to leave.

They parted with brief goodbyes and Sweets turned slightly to observe their retreating backs thoughtfully. They’d make it through the trial— Sweets had faith in that now—but there was no way he was willing to let them go.

He really wanted to see what they could become…

--

Just a few days later, the trial and the problematic partner pair were the furthest things from Sweets mind. Jessica was on the other side of the country—in LA—for a writer’s conference of some variety and, with their family’s ever so splendid luck, Hotch and the BAU team had been called out to Miami to deal with a conman turned killer. This meant wonderful little Jack would be stuck with Lance.

Now, normally Sweets would simply talk to the parents of Jack’s close friends, who were on the approved pick up list for expressly this reason, and ask them to pick Jack up from school with their own son and watch him until Sweets was done with his day. But, of course, not only did the four-year-old have the day off, but Jack’s friend and friend’s family were out of town.

He and Aaron had gotten word of it on Monday and had arranged for Jack to stay with a sitter, who JJ and Will occasionally used, for the day. It had been a mild nightmare to work out, but Sweets had gone to work content in the knowledge that Jack was being well cared for and that he had Aaron for backup.

That hadn’t lasted long.

Around nine in the morning, while Sweets was in the middle of a session, Hotch had texted to give him the heads up on their case. Sweets had acknowledged it and gone on with his day.

At 11:03, just after his last appointment before lunch, he received a panicked call from the sitter, Sarah. She had a family emergency and needed to take the first flight out of DC.

By 11:10, Sweets had calmed down the poor woman and given her clear instructions on coming to the FBI Hoover Building before tracking down his supervisor and explaining the situation. She was, thankfully, very understanding.

At 11:38, Sweets had exhausted the majority of his options, talking to both of their backup sitters and all six of their background-checked neighbors. No one was available. It was just their luck.

At his wits end, he called Will. The detective was a god-send.

“Henry’s with m’ neighbor,” the Cajun explained. “I could ask ‘er ta pick Jack up fer the rest of t’day,” he offered.

Sweets could have wept in relief.

A few minutes later, the therapist was making his way into the lobby and past security. He was about halfway across the room when he spotted the frantic sitter clutching Jack to her chest, almost dashing to the check-in desk. He waved her down and Jack was summarily passed off. She left in a blur.

Hand-in-hand, the four-year-old and his uncle watched her go. Jack’s eyes were huge when he turned to look up at Sweets. “Whoa,” he summed up the last hour succinctly.

Grinning down at him, Sweets chuckled, “You got that right, buddy.” Hefting the boy up onto his hip, he moved to the counter and quickly got his nephew a visitor’s badge. Jack was absolutely delighted by the little piece of plastic, and kept staring at it in delight as they went through security and moved towards the elevators.

“So, you’re going to hang out with me for a bit, Jack,” Lance started. Jack beamed even brighter as he stared at the badge before quickly wiping it off his face and looking up at his uncle with the biggest set of puppy dog eyes he could muster.

“Can I see your office, Uncle Lance?” the boy pleaded, face as stoic as his father’s resting expression.

Lance couldn’t help chuckling and ruffling his hair a little as they came to a stop in front of the elevators and he put the boy back onto his own two feet. He decided to ignore the button to call the elevator for the moment and directed all of his attention on his nephew. “Sure,” he agreed easily, smiling as Jack beamed up at him, “But after a bit, Henry and his sitter are going to come pick you up for the rest of the day.”

The four-year-old’s expression fell slightly, “I can’t stay?”

“I still need to work today, little man,” Sweets reminded him gently, “But you’ll get to hang out with Henry and after I’m done I’ll come right over and pick you up.”

“Promise?” Jack peered into his uncle’s face, as though checking for sincerity.

“Promise,” Lance smiled, reassuring him, “We can even go get ice cream.”

All worries forgotten, Jack let out a muted squeal of excitement and plastered himself to Sweets’ leg. Still smiling fondly down at him, the therapist dropped a hand to rest in his hair.

“Sweets?” a voice broke through their quiet moment, coming from the direction of security.

Careful not to dislodge his nephew, Sweets turned to look over his shoulder. There, clearing security and headed to the elevators (and thus them) was Booth. As he approached, Sweets gave him a warm smile, “Agent Booth. How are you?”

“Eh, I’m doing alright,” he gave a slight shrug, glancing at Jack, who was now hiding behind his uncle. “Maybe a little bored. How are you?”

Sweets echoed his shrug, “Busy. Are you stuck preparing for the trial?”

“Yup,” Booth confirmed ruefully. “Who’s your friend here?”

Without realizing it, a fond smile crossed his face once more, “This is my nephew, Jack.” He looked down and patted the boy’s shoulder, “Jack, this is Agent Booth— I work with him.”

The four-year-old gave a shy little wave, ducking his head slightly, still plastered to Sweets’ side. A grin broke out across Booth’s face as he waved back, “Hey there, Jack.”

Jack ducked his head again before looking up at Lance, “Do you work with him like Dad works with Aunt JJ and Uncle Derek and Uncle Spencer and—”

Lance let out a chuckle and interrupted his nephew, “Not quite, buddy. Your dad is really close to his team; I mostly consult for Agent Booth.”

Jack’s face scrunched up a little. “Consult,” he repeated, “That means help, right?”

“Yeah,” the therapist beamed proudly at the little boy, “That’s right.”

“Oh man,” Booth broke into the conversation, “You seem like a smart one, Jack.”

Jack glanced at Booth and blushed, ducking his head again.

“What brings you to the FBI?” Booth asked, addressing the shy boy.

The four-year-old glanced briefly up at his uncle, who nodded encouragingly, before turning his attention to the agent, “I don’t have school and Aunt Jess is on a trip and Daddy just left, so I was with Miss Sarah, but she had to fly away to be with her family so I’m with Uncle Lance until Henry and his sitter can pick me up.”

Booth blinked a little as he processed the long-winded explanation, “I see. Well, at least you get to see where you uncle works, right?”

“Right!” Jack agreed, nodding enthusiastically.

Just then the elevator dinged, announcing its arrival. The two adults looked up before starting to move into the little room. Sweets rested a hand on his nephew’s shoulder, guiding him to move as well, “Come on, Jack, let’s show you my office before you have to leave.”

The boy gave a happy little bounce as he maneuvered himself between Sweets and Booth, having obvious warmed up to the agent some already. “Is it like Aunt Pen’s office?”

Sweets smiled down at his enthusiastic nephew once again. “No, Jack,” he chuckled, “Penelope’s office is much more colorful.” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Booth look up sharply from Jack, staring at Sweets as though something was dawning on him.

For the briefest second, Lance felt like something had changed, but then Booth looked back down at Jack and asked him to describe his Aunt Pen’s office. Jack was nearly glowing as he responded.

Sweets found himself almost thankful that nothing had worked out today; today should have been average, but instead he got to spend his lunch break with his nephew and watch the precocious boy wrap one of his uncle’s favorite individuals around his finger. The therapist had a headache and was missing out on actually eating, but…

Lance smiled to himself, Totally worth it.

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Sophomore Year Ep 12

Fig And Ayda Sitting in a Spiky Infernal Nightmare Tree

Welcome back to Fantasy High, where Brennan and Emily are giving the gays everything they want but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. For now, the Bad Kids have just arrived in Arborly which is this ancient, twisty, mysterious forest town with buildings kind of built into the trees in such a way that makes it hard to tell it’s a town at first glance. Anyway, they get to Hollyhill--the family home of Fig’s gnome business-friend--Grover Tillythatch--which is basically this very dope hollowed out tree. At the edge of the forest (maybe a 30 min walk away), there is a place where the trees grow and twist together into an 80 foot high wall, barbed with razor sharp briars and super ominous looking. Très Sleeping Beauty.  

They unlock the gate but then realize they have to do something with the Hangvan. Gorgug thinks there’s a way to, with his Artificer skills, give the Van the availability to shrink, but that’ll be a whole project for later. What we have to deal with now though is the fact that Gilear is caught up in the wheel well of the Van, apple stuck in his mouth like a roast pig. Through a series of insane and very Gilear events (not a teleportation mishap like I initially thought), he ended up stuck there and has been since they woke up. He fully missed Hilariel and this is the first anyone noticed he was missing.The kids help Gilear out and give him a little makeover, courtesy of Adaine’s jacket--very needed because he 100% pissed his pants while jammed up (and way too soon after getting stuck).

Kristen knows that the temple she read about is extremely close to where they are. Adaine does a quick Locate Creature and can tell the elf from her Scry isn’t within the 1000 foot range. Plus, the forest they’re in just looks different.  

Anyway, once they’re in Ragh starts grabbing food. Sandra-Lynn gives Gilear a massage because that dude needs some TLC. Tracker is sticking with Kristen and in a weird headspace over the Galakaya info. And, turns out Ayda didn’t just stay in Leviathan. She teleported with them to see them off so she’s around too. The gang does a little investigation of the house where Riz finds out Grover is abusing his company expense account and Adaine pings a crazy amount of infernal energy from the spooky briar wall. Adaine also senses a strong but old (300 year-ish) aura of druidic magic in Arborly--from the reclamation efforts that took Arborly back from being behind the wall that separates Sylvere from the outside. It’s really the only progress that’s been made and it seems like it took a lot out of whoever did it. One more thing: There is a real gnomish energy around town (similar to the vibe at Gorgug’s place), even though Arborly is supposed to be very wood elf heavy.

Throughout all I’ve been describing, there have been rumblings of maybe throwing a party and Fig invites Ayda who enthusiastically accepts. The adults go to bed in the Van for safety (Sandra-Lynn puts the Hangman in charge while they’re gone) and the teens do what teens do when they have no adult supervision: They wild out. But not in a Golden Gardens “Let’s get tattoos and do drugs” kinda way. In a real, teenager kind of way. In an “I’m making crab nachos because my parents never let me,” kind of way. But that “they” doesn’t include Fig because she is doing the other thing teens do when they have no adult supervision: Sneaking out. Specifically to look at the briar wall. She can hear these faint whispers coming from the wall and Emily manages to get jump scared in a D&D game by Ayda who is suddenly standing next to Fig, having followed her because the party got overwhelming. 

They have a talk which I can and will describe but that needs to be seen in full to really appreciate the intimacy and tenderness but also fumbling awkwardness that’s happening. So while the rest of the Bad Kids are drinking and doing crab-stands and pretending to be shrimp (go with it) Fig tells Ayda that she sometimes does stuff like pretend to be other people and indulge in loud nonsense to cover up negative thoughts, like the ones that come from your dad being shoved in a gem and then getting kidnapped. Ayda can’t understand the disguising as a coping mechanism: “If I were you I wouldn’t want to be anyone else because you are very exceptional.” She then offers to give Fig a better look at the wall and, when Fig accepts, she turns them both invisible and flies them to it. 

Fig, upon watching Ayda do that very dope thing says that there’s no reason for Ayda to think she’s special when she can do cool stuff like that. Ayda, as we already know, thinks Fig is super dope too, both in abilities and personality. Ayda analyzes the briar wall and finds out mostly stuff we already knew--it keeps people from getting in or out, including through magical means like Dimension Door and it’s keyed to powerful devils. When she reaches for the thorns, they grow out to stab her and she flinches back before they can. When Fig does the same, the thorns don’t grow out. And, when she does a less intense Burning Hands, a charred handprint is left behind and the heat and energy travels somewhere else. The aura the wall is giving out doesn’t seem to bother her as much as it probably would someone else. Ayda finds it very cool, as she’s found everything Fig has done. They dip back into heart to heart mode and Ayda reveals something that we already knew from Brennan on the Discord: Ayda is technically about 150 years old due to her Phoenix cycling and she’s been working on building the Compass Points Library across her lifetimes, aided by notes left to herself by her previous incarnations. Fig asks why she would do that instead of just reinventing herself and Ayda says she doesn’t have a lot of self confidence and doesn’t want to make mistakes. Fig throws up in anticipation of saying something sincere, says she thinks Ayda is perfect the way she is, and then--as she is wont to do--skateboards away (successfully and 80 feet down the briar wall with a 22 acrobatics check).

Ayda flies down, compliments her on the sick trick then asks her to sign a binding contract that says she has info that she will give Fig but Fig can’t make any assumptions based on it or judge her. (The cast at this point is losing their minds and has been for the past couple of minutes.) Fig signs it and then Ayda gives her the information which is as follows: “At any waking moment outside of combat that you and I have been together, if you had tried to kiss me on the mouth, it would have been received favorably.” Fig drafts a contract (as a lawyer I’m using that term extremely loosely) that says that if Ayda makes fun of her, Fig will give her a wet willy. Ayda says that it’s more of a threat than a contract and Fig abruptly kisses her and then skateboards away and hides. Ayda doesn’t really have a good frame of reference for how this is supposed to go and Fig is throwing out all sorts of mixed signals but Fig comes out from hiding and apologizes and says that she’s having trouble being vulnerable since she hasn’t really done this as herself before. Ayda asks if they can go again because she thinks she can do better. Ally and Lou howl and cheer and bless the Union. Murph is clapping. Siobhan and Zac are full gone. Fig says that she only wanted to have a party so Ayda would stay longer. Ayda says she only stayed to hang out with Fig. Ayda says this is the best moment of her current life. Fig says she’s going for best, period--past incarnations included. They make out some more until Ayda has to go. Ayda says she needs to go so she can research the Planeshift spell for Fig (for free!). She doesn’t even care about shrinking down the library. Before she leaves, Ayda pulls out one of her feathers and says that if Fig holds it up and says her name, she’ll hear it and be able to come and help. Fig does the same with one of her ear-cuffs but it’s more of a gesture than an actual magical effect (though the cuff is bloody and mark my words, this is exactly the kind of goof that becomes plot relevant later). Fig comes back to the insanity the house has dissolved to and goes to use the hot tub.     

No comment. 

They all eventually go outside to sleep on a mattress, by the Van to get the protection of the Hallow spell. It’s a little glossed over but we learn when Fabian gives Riz Bardic Inspiration to remember to sleep outside that he’s taken a level of bard! In the morning (by which I mean afternoon), they all wake up to see Sandra-Lynn and Gilear speaking to, like, 40 wood-elf rangers. They’re mainly talking to an intense lady who seems to have a pretty high rank and this older looking fox. Fig steps up to speak for the group since they’re there on her invite and the elven woman is instantly wary of her horns, plus the Hangman is right there. She clearly doesn’t trust the infernal. With Guidance from Kristen, she gets a 27 Persuasion which tells her this lady (whose name we learn is Mira) will never like her BUT that’s OK because she’s not in charge. The fox actually outranks her. 

Fig shakes hands with the fox whose name is Nuathra and who is very charmed. The Bad Kids follow suit with the politeness and Nuathra is won over. He fends off Mira’s suspicions and is so chill that Fig decides (after consulting with Adaine) to just tell him they’re going into the nightmare forest. That gets bows pulled on them and Adaine steps in and identifies herself as the elven Oracle and says that they have to do it for prophecy reasons. The elves start whispering and Nuathra, who believes she is who she says she is, asks if she knows about any other high elves who look like her slinking around. Adaine says that yeah, she does, but she’s not working with them. Kristen tries to cut in and it makes Mira super aggro--seems like she doesn’t like beings that are devil adjacent or humans either. She also makes a dismissive comment aimed at high elves in response to Adaine’s statement about morality being complex.

Nuathra tells her to cool her jets and says that things are kinda tense because for the past few months, a high elven woman (Adaine’s mom) showed up, took a room at the Owl and Harp (a gnomish tavern), and hired a local wood elf drunkard named Killian. She kept to herself mostly but did do some business at the local gnomish Tinkerer’s Hall (possibly for spell components). Two nights ago, another high (extremely gassy) elven woman showed up and then they vanished (figuratively) with Killian.

When Tinkerer’s Hall is mentioned, Gorgug cuts in to get more info on that. Nuathra says that there is a gnomish population in Arborly because the Druid who gave their life to reclaim Arborly (Crafty Rootdrinker) was a gnome so now gnomes kind of have protected status. Nuathra starts tearing up a little and we later find out (via Gorgug’s intuition) that Nuathra was their Awakened animal companion (Awakened means you give a plant or animal average human intelligence and the ability to speak a language). Nuathra asks why they want to go into the forest and Gorgug says it’s because the Nightmare King might be coming back. After being horrified to learn that the NK’s crown wasn’t in magical Fort Knox and instead was just in some dude’s desk, Nuathra says that all the town’s resources are at their disposal. He points out the three obvious places to check out: (1) the tavern, (2) the tinkerer’s hall, and (3) a shrine which is a possible entrance to the forest of the NK (the Shrine of Thorns which is just on the edge of the forest--mostly still in the forest--and dedicated to a mysterious goddess).

Adaine asks about the dude in her vision and realizes quickly it’s not Killian. Then, following a comment Fig makes about honesty being the right move and spurred by their out of character knowledge, start poking at Fig for an answer to what’s different about her today. Riz rolls a 28 Investigate and Fig burns 2 luck points and a guidance to beat it with like a 31. Wild. Then they split up like this:

Gorgug, Ragh, and Fabian (with the Hangman) go to the tinkerer’s hall.

Adaine and Riz go to the tavern.

Kristen, Tracker and Fig go to the shrine (ferried by Sandra-Lynn who wants to then scout around on Baxter).       

Gilear makes lunch.              

But before they leave, Adaine Scrys on her mom and sees her, Aelwen, and Killian with a gem embedded in his open and bloody chest (clearly a puppet after the ritual that almost claimed RIz) traveling through a forest so twisted it looks like it’s underground. Adaine clocks some curse scarring on her mom and on a 15 arcana check wonders if the curse her mom got broken by Garthy was actually the Crown’s curse or maybe something the Falinel put on it for security (which could mean that the Curse on the crown is actually the goddess’s sanctum mentioned last ep). Almost immediately, Aelwen dispels the Scry and it ends. Adaine on a 25 Insight realizes that Aelwen didn’t actually sense the Scry. It was like someone told her it was happening and then she reacted to that. Adaine thinks Kalina might be around.         

On a nat 20 Perception check, Kristen sees Kalina’s eyes in the shadows. Riz--and the rest of the group--can’t see her, but she steps out of the shadows. Kalina starts slinging death threats--at the group and Tracker specifically--and Kristen does her classic Kristen thing of staring down a life or death situation with an insane casualness. Kalina says the only reason the gang is still alive is because they haven’t gotten directly in the way of her and what she wants yet. What does she want? Kristen asks. For them to stay out of the f-ing forest. Kalina vanishes. Kristen immediately loses all bravado and makes her friends dog pile her for comfort which they happily do.               

Kristen gives an arguably Inspiring Speech to give everyone 16 temp HP. Riz on a 28 Investigation roll notices that the grass where Kalina was standing isn’t bent. (The background music goes *BWANG* like Brennan planned it). Riz thinks Kalina wasn’t physically there. In fact, she might not have ever been physically there. He remembers that, in the photo, Pok’s sleeve isn’t bent where Kalina is touching him and people who can’t see Kalina don’t see the wrinkled sleeve they way they would if she was just invisible. And she’s not holding a glass in the photo. She’s holding up her hand and pretending she’s holding one. She might not exist physically at all. He thinks that the thing Aelwen and Arianwyn are doing is to give her corporeal form. They also put together than even if Kalina is somehow in their heads, she can’t really by *in* their heads because she keeps asking questions she would know the answers to already if she could read their minds. Kristen wants to chain up Tracker in the Van to keep her safe from Kalina but Tracker puts the kibosh on that with a quickness (revealing things we kinda already knew about their sex life in the process).

Anyway, let’s split up!

Tinkerer’s Hall

The Owlbear group and the Hangman kinda freak out the gnomes who think they’re being mugged or something but Gorgug wins them over with his gnomish last name and cool Solesian gadgets. They find out Killian needed wax to make candles and some basic spell components.

Tavern

The two Bad Kids possibly least equipped to go to the bar go there and try to get access to Adaine’s mom’s room. They pay Arianwyn’s tab (she left abruptly without paying) and bribe the bartender with an amount of money that will for sure get them put on a watchlist, sweating bullets the entire time, but eventually make it up there to the top suite.

The room is blood spattered, full of candle wax and arcane symbols, and there’s an image Adaine knows her mom drew of a robed, skeletal figure, wearing a crown, etched into the wall. Yikes. 

Shrine

Sandra-Lynn drops off the girls. Tracker casts a light spell and then has to step out. It’s like a vampire at the doorway of a church thing. Kristen sees a religious symbol on the wall and an ancient depiction of a woman in a dark robe and cape, holding a book and a broomstick, next to a small dwelling, black cat on her shoulder. 

Fig sees a charred handprint on the briars in the shrine and recognizes it as her own. She casts Burning Hands on her handprint that’s here for some reason and the fire catches and spreads. Brennan has a lot of fun making fire sound effects. A fiery doorway opens and a woman in armor, with horns and skeletal wings (plus flayed skin under the armor from what they can see--except for her face which is intact and beautiful) walks out and asks for Fig. When Fig identifies herself, the woman says she’s Vraz the Mean from the Nine Hells and Fig has been served. As in legally. As in a subpoena. 

Wild. 

Detention

Fig for Using up Two Luck Points Pre-Excursion Into a Doom Forest to Conceal a Crush 

I adore both Fig generally and Fig in this episode specifically but, truly, what a waste of Luck points at the cusp what possibly could be such a dire moment. And she won’t get those back before a long rest. This storyline is going so slowly. I’ve written (as I’m writing this sentence) 48k words worth of Report Cards and it’s been like what? A week? Less than that? She might not get those back for a while.

Now do I wish she’d made a different decision? Absolutely not. Emily, as always, is ride or die for the roleplay and I both love and respect it. 

But I can high-key see this biting her in the ass.  

Honor Roll

Kristen for Holding her Own Against Kalina

I think this marks K-girl’s first appearance on the Honor Roll and in my opinion (mine being the only one that matters I guess since I have no oversight and am Czar of this arbitrary award) she really earned it. First that clutch perception nat 20 to spot her and then having to hold the entire conversation by herself with no backup because she was the only one who could see her. I think this was actually a really good time for her to use her wild downplaying attitude and she was able to keep Kalina occupied for long enough for Riz to gather some of the most interesting pieces of info about Kalina yet. Very clutch.    

Random Thoughts

For a closer look into character/location descriptions from this episode, you can check out @jamiebluewind‘s posts here and here.

“Has your girl ever not delivered?”/”Yes.”/”Multiple times.”/”I mean, it’s always entertaining when you don’t.”

Lou and Siobhan Re the Hangan: “Can it turn into a Gundam?”/”Is it a transformer?”

Shoutout to Brennan for heading off flying Van shenanigans at the pass. That would have been an Immediate Problem. 

“I have never touched my Dad’s butt, nor do I want to.”

Brennan breaking himself during his first Gilear line of the ep. I wonder if he goes into any Gilear sentence knowing where he’s going, or if it’s all freeform improvisational jazz.

I think it’s really interesting that Fig fully loves Gilear but also still calls him Gilear and not Dad. Not deep meta point or anything. I just think it’s an interesting quirk of the character.   

Fig fully intending to eat an obvious death mushroom and every other party member at the same time slapping it out of her hands. 

I think I’ve mentioned on several occasions that I’m not really a shipper. Which isn’t to say I don’t enjoy romantic relationships in media. It’s just that it’s usually pretty clear which relationship the narrative is setting up so I really don’t get the point in basically campaigning for something that’s clearly going to happen (in which case, just enjoy the progression) or campaigning for something that’s clearly not going to happen and then being disappointed. But I gotta say, this Fig and Ayda has been a ride, I think largely because there was really no way to see this was coming when Ayda was introduced. Like, Tracker for instance was clearly introduced with Kristen in mind, down to being the Moon Cleric to her former Sun Cleric. Not only was Ayda not set up as a romanceable NPC, she very easily could have been skipped as even an option for befriending at all. She didn’t really make herself super available for it and it wasn’t even Fig who struck up a friendship with her initially. It was Adaine. And then Adaine got kidnapped which pushed the two resident Adaine stans together and, what do you know? Sparks (and not just from Ayda’s hair). The organic-ness of the relationship really added something that makes it really interesting and special. 

Also, lol that Fig finally found an age appropriate relationship but she’s also technically 150.

“I’m not gonna mend your piss pants.” 

For Adaine, the peak of luxury is access to fluffy robes which, mood.

OK, just to explicitly state my current pet theory that I alluded to last week, it seems pretty darn likely that Kalina is the familiar of the Mystery goddess. I said that cats are the most iconic witch’s familiar and, this ep, we saw the goddess depicted with a black cat. Plus, Brennan casually but very specifically noted that Kalina isn’t a big-cat. She’s like the tabaxi version of a house cat. And we learned that Kalina seems to be intangible which takes away one thing that was a little off for me--it seemed more like she was spreading a virus but the fact that she is intangible and just visible to people who are “infected” makes it seem more like she herself is the virus. AND, we were introduced to the concept of an Awakened, Sentient animal companion this episode which would be a great thing to do if you’re setting up the fact that this witch goddess turned her cat into a full sentient being and then a tabaxi and then a virus.  

Lol at Tracker giving Sandra-Lynn a Shovel Talk re: Jawbone. 

Riz, upon being questioned by Kristen where he got the photo of her for the “Casual” conspiracy wall he’s making: Look, you take pictures you hang them.

I want the Bad Kids to keep the motto of, “Spring Break!” year round. I want them to use it forever. I want them to be in their 30s--well out of school--and run into a deadly situation in the middle of Winter yelling, “I believe in you! Spring Break!” while very, very confused bystanders watch them. That’s really what friendship is about. Confusing the hell out of strangers with your in-jokes. 

Between last week of Fantasy High and this week of CritRole, I think a lot of people just learned what the Hallow spell is. 

“Just by being here we’re stealing. I’m like Robin Hood.”

Hangman: No rules!/Adaine: Some rules!

Guys I was SO concerned that Fig was gonna pull a Fabian and do something Concerning without any party support. So happy she decided to just get her kisses in instead. And then at the end of the ep when the two most chaotic party members were given a hell door that it 1000% seemed like they were gonna jump through but were ust handed legal paperwork instead.  

Figs comment about one of the best parts of friendship being getting to be a “chorus of nonsense” together without regard for what’s being said is so real.

I love the D&D gag of the party members who are not at an intense moment interjecting with whatever nonsense they’re doing. 

Everyone holding their collective breaths and then breaking as Emily succumbs to the urge to Touch a Thing. “You simply must.”

Ayda thinks “Choke on grapes, bitch,” is an excellent threat, and I agree.

Who cares for Ayda when she’s a newborn? Or is she reborn old enough to take care of herself? Also, update: Aguefort even worse dad than initially thought. 

Fig skateboarding away and dropping invisibility so Ayda can see and then later kissing her and Ayda going full visible are such cinematic moments. Well, the second one is at least. The first is just extremely funny. 

“I’m not gonna kiss the shrimp, Kristen. It’s dead, and we killed it.”

“I desperately and only want you to stay. And the only thing I want to do more than stay is do something for you” Why does Brennan keep dropping these raw ass lines casually in his high school D&D game?

“Can I get a help action from the jets of the hot tub?”

One little moment I loved from this ep was Mira being confused by the concept of a rock star and Adaine translating that she’s a bard/troubadour. I also just love the word troubadour. We shouldn’t have ever stopped using it. 

“That makes me nervous. Everything makes me nervous. Sure, why not.” Mood.

Mira also makes a comment about how diverse the group is that did *not* sound like a positive or even neutral statement and, listen, I’m getting Daybreak vibes my dudes.

Very funny every time we’re reminded that the reason the Bad Kids are doing this is because it’s a school project. 

Interesting character detail that Adaine started off talking about Aelwen and Arianwyn with distancing language but eventually slipped back into just calling them her mom and sister. 

A note in case it’s relevant later: Nuathra said that Crafty--his druid companion--was not a fan of cleric stuff, thought it was nonsense, and tried to avoid it at all costs. 

Fabian re Nuathra: What did the fox say?

Kristen asks Kalina’s name and she says, “You can call me Kalina,” which is subtly different than, “My name is Kalina,” which is probably just a turn of phrase and not plot relevant but I’ve been reading a lot of Fae stuff recently and a hyper-aware of weasel-out wording right now. 

“You good?”/”Now that I’m being pressed into the grass by all my friends? Yes.”

Adaine to Riz’s earlier encounter with Kalina: That was all you? You did all that damage to yourself?

I love Fig’s outrage at Adaine joking that she uses Detect Thoughts. The idea of, “We kill people and break into places and Catfish adult men but we DO NOT Detect Thoughts on each other that is the LINE.”

Kristen giving herself a sexy roleplay promotions from Officer up to Colonel was killing me. That whole thing was such a good bit and Ally and Brennan were on the same page immediately.  

Can’t wait to see the demonic (or is that devilish?) legal system so I can tell y’all how accurate it is and use something I learned in law school for once in my life. (Note: I am a lawyer, but you’d be surprised how unhelpful law school is to actually being a lawyer). 

Wonder what that subpoena was for. Maybe something involving Gorthalax or the wall? I’m trying to think of what they’d have jurisdiction over. She said the dude she works under is on the Sloth level of hell. 

Siobhan mentioned she has good Portent rolls right now which is comforting to hear. Lol, imagine if she had also decided to go full teenager this episode and use them to ferret out Fig’s crush.   

I need you to know that, in this same week (all within 48 hours of each other), between CritRole, Naddpod, The Good Place finale, I was really just drowning in content and emotions. 

The only crit of the ep is a nat 20 from Kristen.