#brandon novak smut

[1800miserablethot]

𝔹𝕒𝕞 𝕄𝕒𝕣𝕘𝕖𝕣𝕒 𝕩 𝕄𝕒𝕝𝕖 ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣

Plot: Bam is at an HIM concert with the Viva la Bam crew (Ryan, Raab, Novak) and he meets Reader/you there, he practically falls in love at first sight while the HIM song plays in the background.

(has lyrics written into the fiction)

Warning: drinking, making out

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Bam was laughing and causing chaos with Ryan, both talking about how they wanna jump off the railing and into the pit of the crowd. Which was around 30 feet off the ground. The song “Right Here In My Arms” playing in the background and as the guitar solo ends Bam and Ryan jump off the railing and into the crowd.  The energy in the room was electric and as Bam crashes into the mass of people, his body melts into the sea of thrashing bodies. He was laughing and cheering as he was put down by the people in the crowd when he landed on his feet he started to make his way through the crowd to try and find Ryan and his friends again when suddenly his eyes landed on a guy.

Usually, he swung for the chicks and shit but this dude was fucking beautiful. Like instant butterflies in your stomach, knees are weak, throat dry beautiful. He was breathing in and out of time, his heart was losing it at the sight of you. He wanted to desperately go over to you but his feet were frozen in place, that was until he saw your eyes lock with his. The club felt like it was slowing down and everything around him started to blur out as he watched a grin spread across your face, it nearly broke his lovestruck gaze when he saw you start to make your way over to him. Bam felt his heart race wildly in his chest, his body was sweaty and shaking when you finally reached him.

“dude I saw you and Ryan jump from up there, that was rad!” He hears you say, and that breaks his trance. His heart dropped a bit when he heard you say Ryan’s name, assuming the worst. “You know Ryan?” He asks loudly, trying to hear you over the music. “Yeah! Me and Ryan are childhood friends, bro.” You reply which Bam could have sworn you must have heard his sigh of relief. “Oh cool-yeah I was on my way to try and find him.” He replied, trying to play it cool and not seem like a total loser. But when he felt your hand wrap around his shoulder all he wanted was for you to pull him closer. “Let’s go find him together the way what’s your name?” He hears you ask, “It’s Bam,” He replies, feeling his face heating up as you two walk around and out of the crowd to head back upstairs to the second floor where the rest of his friends were. “Bam? Like Viva La Bam? Ryan won’t shut up about it but shit I wouldn’t either if I was doing the crazy shit he does-oh also my name’s [Y/N]!” You say, turning your head to meet Bam’s gaze only for him to break it quickly. 

A playful smile graces your lips at his actions, when you two make it to the top of the stairs you let your hand not linger around his shoulder but rather slide it further down his arm before pulling away completely.  “I think I hear him,” You say to Bam as you two make it over to his friend group, where Ryan was laughing and talking about his stunt he just pulled as Raab and Novak laughed and said shit like “Dude that was awesome!” And other stuff back to him. “What’s up fucker!” You shout, getting their attention. Seeing Ryan’s smile brighten at the sight of you, “[Y/N]!” He shouts back, his arms out as he hugs you. “Thought you were gonna bail on me, bro!” Ryan says to you which gets a laugh out of you. “Nah man I was downstairs when suddenly I see you flying off this fucking railing!” You respond making everyone laugh, you turn around and grab Bam’s shirt pulling him closer. “Then I made a new buddy,” You say, your other hand patting Bam’s cheek softly watching how his face turned a light shade of pink. 

“You never told me about [Y/N], Dunn!” Bam says, trying to remain chill. But the way your hand was clutching to his shirt and how the other touched his face made his body shudder lightly. “Yeah, just met him a couple minutes ago,” you replied, glancing at Bam briefly before letting him go so you could dab up Raab and Novak. The cheering, slapping you on the back when they realized it was you, “I need a fucking drink who's coming with?” You ask, your eyes instantly falling onto Bam’s. When your eyes lock with his with that small smile on your face it’s like heaven down on earth. “I’ll go!” He says a bit too quickly, watching the smile on your face grow into a grin. “Let’s do it then,” you reply, walking past him to make your way over to the bar but when you do you make sure to somehow land a touch on him. Goosebumps rose on Bam’s skin where you touched him and a shiver ran down his spine. Bam couldn’t help but stare at you as you walked away, taking in your body, and the way you moved. “Dude, [Y/N] is totally into you,” he heard Ryan say to him, causing Bam to turn his head to look at his friend who just raised an eyebrow and snickered at him. “Fuck off, no he’s not,” Bam muttered, giving Ryan a small shove before turning around to make his way back over to the bar with you. But secretly he hoped Dunn was right, that you were. That you felt it too, to say that this is something and hopefully don’t leave him with nothing. 

Bam lets out a deep breath, his nerves kicking in as he reaches the bar, and sees you leaned against it with your elbows propping you up. Bam’s heart quickened as he made his way over to you, feeling his palms grow sweaty and eyes widen as he closed the distance between the two of you. Standing right next to you, Bam felt his chest tighten as watched your gaze on him, “I got you a beer and a shot, it’s that good?” You ask, seeing Bam nod in agreement as he chokes out a “yeah,” amused by his actions, you give Bam a sly grin and lean your head to the side, your eyelids half-lidded. Looking at Bam was like looking at a starlight, the way his blue eyes sparkled in the dimmed lighting around them, as the purple spotlights bounced off his brown hair. Standing so close to him, your side almost pressed against his made the blood rush to your head. You snap out of it though when the bartender puts the drinks in front of you two, before walking away to tend to other customers. “Bottoms up,” You say playfully, grabbing one of the shots as Bam grabs the other. Clinking your glasses together before downing the shot, instantly feeling the warm burn radiating from your chest to your gut. You place the glass back onto the counter with a soft thud, as you watch Bam do the same. Feeling the buzz start to kick in as your body starts tingling, you start to feel a new kind of hunger. And you only want one thing. Your gaze runs down Bam’s body watching him drink his beer as he looks around and sings along to the song that Ville Valo was singing at the moment. 

Hearing him sing about having a girl right in his arms, but the only thing you wanted in your arms was Bam. Because there was an empty spot in your heart and the only thing you wanted to fill it was the blue-eyed brunette next to you. “Hey, Bam!” You shout out, to catch his attention over the loud music, and when his head turns to face you, you take the opportunity to grab his jaw and crash your lips together. Feeling him almost instantly melt into it, reveling in his soft moan that gets caught in the kiss. You pull away and grab his hand leading him to the bathroom, grinning over your shoulder as you see him follow right behind you into it. When you two get into the small bathroom, you lock the door, the music echoing through the cracks of the door, still blaring all around you two. You barely had enough time to turn around before his lips were against yours again, you grunt and grab him by the hips, pushing him against the wall. One of his hands was wrapped around the back of your neck and the other was in your hair. “Bam,” You huff against his lips before trailing yours down his neck. Bam’s head hit the wall with a thump, his fuzzy mind melting and short-circuiting by the second but what he did know was you were right here in his arms, and he for damn sure wasn’t going to let go because he can’t nor won’t. 

[bambimargera]

Netflix and Chilling with CKY(fluff)

what you'd do and what you'd watch

Dico:

Some really stupid mystery/thriller movie. He’d definitely voice over every characters lines if he thinks it’s stupid or boring. His favourite would be if a dead body was shown on screen, expect to hear a random voiced freestyle rap on how the person may have died, regardless of the persons gender

When he picked you up would’ve stopped at WaWa or Target and he paid for all of your snacks, he secretly loves watching you behave like a kid in a candy store

He’d make you sit in between his legs while watching the movie, insists on having his arms wrapped around you. Will eat his snacks over your shoulder and lick up the crumbs that fall onto your neck

Raab:

Always insists on making blanket forts with you for movie nights. Loves being able to cuddle in complete privacy, he can strip you down and still watch the movie while being warm and snuggly

Makes sure you’re comfy and have everything you might need before pressing play, he’s an anxious and caring boy

Definitely wants to watch a horror movie so he can hold onto you when he’s scared, but he pretends that he’s protecting you from being scared

Expect to have all the snacks and drinks ready in the fort. This man is lazy and loves candy, I bet he buys in bulk and you’ll never have a shortage. He’d probably order a pizza for you guys too

Bam:

It’s never planned. He will show up at your house (or work) and drag you out saying it’s an emergency. Takes you to WaWa and leads you through each aisle demanding you pick up at least one thing from each

Once he’s dragged you into the castle, you’d notice that the floor is littered with pillows, blankets, and new stuffed animals all for you

Couldn’t care less about what movie you wanna watch, but secretly hopes you’ll pick something romantic so he can put the moves on you

Definitely wants to be held as much as he wants to hold you, so expect a big tantrum if you only wanna be little spoon.

Novak:

Picks you up and takes you to WaWa for snacks, makes you pay for them because “I paid for gas babe.”

Will watch literally anything you want as long as he can have you sitting on his lap, but really loves watching true crime documentaries with you. If it’s related to drugs, he’ll tell you if he thinks the criminal is smart-or if he would’ve been his friend back in the day

90% of the time he falls asleep while you’re on his lap, his head on your shoulder and arms around your waist. When he wakes up he’ll go on about what a great movie it was, and how you guys need to do movie nights more often- what little liar

Dunn:

Calls you from a gas station on the way to your house to ask you what you want. Doesn't like to take you into the store because he thinks you take too long deciding- and will hang up on you if you take too long on the phone

Also doesn't really care what you watch, but will only suggest comedys. He loves sneaking glimpses of you smiling or laughing at the screen

Wants to sit beside you on the couch under a blanket, his version of domestic bliss

[zaero-zombie]

there is a criminally low amount of joe frantz content on this app

[therealpontius]

~Masterlist~

Smut, almost smut, fluff, angst

* means its my personal fav

If you have any requests private message me and ill try! Ill give you credit or keep it anonymous

Glenn danzig:

Groupie

Brandon dicamillo:

Lay all your love on me

Revendell

Rhett mclaughlin:

I cant remember the last time i stayed home

Alex wolfman story:

S*x without pain is like food without taste

The mad man and the monster*

Doyle wolfgang von frankenstine:

The mad man and the monster*

Glenn danzig:

Groupie

Johnny knoxville:

Barracuda*

Strap-on fun

Caught by the country boy

Chris pontius:

Butterfly field

I love you monkey

My shadow <3*

Hugging pontius headcanon

Draw me like one of your french girls

Cold kitchen counter*

Are you mad at me?

For the first time

Fear of thunder

Money! Money! Money!

Thunder and lightning

Romeo and Juliet

Two men, one tent

Birthday surprise

Steve-o:

Two men, one tent

Ryan dunn:

20 minutes in hell

I just saw ryan dunn naked… it was huge!

Possible fuck

Hugging dunn headcanon

I mean it*****

Caught by the country boy

Bam margera:

Untitled bam image

Just for tonight pt2

Brandon novak:

Untitled novak image

Jackass series:

BBQ pt2 pt3 pt4 pt5

Are you dunn yet? pt2 pt3

Jackass:

Jackass relationship board and song assignment

The stinks of:

Jackass

Cky

Wattpad updates

SONGS I USE IN MY FICS PLAYLIST👇

[welcometojackass2022]

The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Switch Roles During Sex [Short Smut Drabble]

Quick little drabble about what Rake, Frantz, Raab, Dico, and Novak would be like if they each played the opposite role from what they usually play during sex. Frantz, Rake, and Dico try out being submissive, and Raab and Novak try out being dominant. I’m doing one long paragraph for each of them! @chasingwinehouse thanks for giving me plenty of cool ideas! <3

Notes: I really like the Raab concept here, let me know if you want a full fic for it. Also, here’s a couple warnings: Dico’s part involves you being rough with him (degrading, slapping and light choking), Novak’s part involves him calling himself daddy, Raab’s part involves him slipping up and calling you mommy once or twice and also attempting (and failing) to degrade you, and Frantz’s part involves him whining when you pull his hair. Rake’s part doesn’t need any warnings.

@butttxray credit to you for the Frantz hair pulling idea that I use in his section!

@asskickedbygirl tagging you as always.

Brandon DiCamillo:

For what was probably the first time in his entire life, Brandon DiCamillo was gonna be put in his place. He was on his knees in front of you, staring up at you with that same cocky, condescending, ‘I’m laughing at a joke that no one gets except me’ smile he always had on his face. That smile you were determined to wipe off. You’d already removed all of his clothes to make him feel more vulnerable and breakable—now all you had to do was break him. You roughly grabbed him by the chin, staring him down with an unflinchingly dark look as you decided what you wanted to do with him first. “Naked on your knees like a little bitch and yet you’ve still got that fucking look on your face. What’s it gonna take to wipe it off?” Dico’s grin widened, and he shrugged, not the least bit affected by how tightly you were squeezing his jaw. “I dunno, babe, how ‘bout a gimp mask and some nipple clamps—” You cut him off with a firm smack across the cheek, and he instantly went silent, staring up at you with a slightly shocked (but not pained) look. “That was a rhetorical question, bitch, don’t speak unless I tell you that you can.” The grin came back, and he instantly went against your orders by talking back once again. “How was I supposed to know it wasn’t a real question, it sounded like a —” You cut him off with yet another smack across the cheek, and then, just to really get your point across, you wrapped your hand around the base of his neck and applied enough pressure to get a reaction from him, a slightly choked sound leaving his mouth as he stared up at you with a slightly fearful expression, his cock suddenly hard as a rock against his thigh. The smirk was finally gone.

Brandon Novak:

“Just like that, baby, suck Daddy’s dick. Mmm, fuck, that’s good. Get Daddy’s cock nice and wet, baby, just like that.” It wasn’t often that Novak got to be the one in charge during sex, but when he did, he fully committed to the role. Novak loved to show off his dirty-talking abilities, especially while you were sucking him off, and he had a real talent for degrading you in the most encouraging way possible. He pushed your head further down, forcing you to take his entire shaft into your mouth, his slick tip hitting the back of your throat, and you ran your tongue up and down the underside of his cock, eliciting a pleased moan from him in response. You pulled your mouth off of his cock to swirl your tongue over the head of his cock, letting your drool coat the tip and then taking the whole head into your mouth to suck on it. Novak stared down at you with a domineering look that he reserved only for these moments, and it only spurned you on more, leading to you enthusiastically taking the whole shaft into your mouth again. “Yeah, baby, you like sucking on that big fat cock, don’t you? You love having Daddy’s dick in your mouth, don’t you? Come on, baby, all the way down your throat, just like that.” He forced your head down again, and you allowed him to shove his cock down your throat, saliva dripping from your mouth onto his cock as he face-fucked you. You knew this side of Novak wasn’t gonna be around for too long; he kept it up for as long as the blowjob lasted, but once he came, he was usually done being dominant for the rest of the week. But that was fine with you; you’d just appreciate the moment while it lasted. “Keep it up, baby, Daddy’s so close to cumming.”

Chris Raab/Raab Himself:

“Okay, so, uh, mommy—fuck, I mean, uh…what do I call you while I’m doing this?” Raab looked at you with uncertainty as he stood next to the bed, waiting for you to get comfortable on your back so he could get on top of you. He was clad only in his boxers, his cute little cock already clearly hard and leaking through the fabric as he admired the sight of your naked body. As excited as he was, though, he was also clearly a little nervous. Being in charge was far from something he was used to doing; it wasn’t that he preferred receiving over giving (quite the opposite, actually, given his people-pleaser tendencies), it was just that his personality wasn’t quite suited for being bossy or giving orders. But you had really wanted to try this, and he was more than happy to oblige you. You smiled up at him reassuringly, leaning over to grab his hand as you pulled him onto the bed and helped him get on top of you. “You’re in charge here, baby, you decide what to call me.” Raab still looked uncertain, so you whispered a suggestion. “How about just calling me by my name?” Raab nodded, looking very relieved that you’d helped him out. “Right! Right. Okay, uh, here’s what you’re gonna do, (Y/n). You’re gonna lay right here and take my dick like a good little slut.” You raised your eyebrows at the comment, wondering if Raab had been hiding a secret dirty dom side, but his face crinkled up almost immediately and he shook his head. “I didn’t like that, I’m sorry, mommy—I mean (Y/n). I’m not gonna do that again.” You smiled. “That’s okay, Raab, just stick to what you like.” He nodded, gently lining his cock up with your pussy as he thought over what he actually wanted to do. “I like calling you pretty.” You giggled. “Do that, then.” He leaned down to kiss you, and gently pushed the head of his cock inside you as he spoke. “Right. Okay. In that case, you’re gonna lay here and look nice and be pretty for me while I fuck you, okay?” Raab momentarily stopped what he was doing to shoot you a questioning look. “How was that? Was that good?” You grinned. “Yes, baby, that was good.”

Joe Frantz:

Frantz had never been much of a submissive type. When it came to sex, he liked being rough, fast, and aggressive, degrading you under his breath in a low, growly tone and smacking your ass and thrusting inside you until you came around his long, fat cock; the idea of him ever letting you be in charge during sex was unlikely at best and downright laughable at worst. But when it came to eating you out? That was a different story. You lowered yourself down onto Frantz’s face, moaning softly when he pressed his lips against your pussy to kiss it and stared up at you with a vulnerable, awestruck look that felt almost uncharacteristically submissive for someone as domineering as Frantz usually was. He ran his tongue over the lips of your pussy, squeezing his eyes shut and moaning softly as he savored your taste, and you fisted your fingers into his hair, giving it a rough tug that made him whine against your pussy pathetically like a whore. Something about having you on top of him, pussy against his mouth and hand tangled in his hair, turned Frantz into a whining mess; it was a side of him you quite literally never saw anywhere else, and it always shocked you when you did see it. It felt almost too vulnerable, like the taste of your pussy alone was enough to make him weak. You tugged on his hair again, and another whine left his mouth, his lips wrapped around your clit as he sucked on it with as much energy as he could muster, opening his eyes to look up at you again with that vulnerable look. In any other instance, Frantz would have been his usual domineering self, but in this little moment, with his face smushed between your legs, Frantz’s only purpose was to whine and beg and stare up at you pleadingly as he worshipped your pussy. To lap up your juices and suck on your clit and moan at the taste. To be your little bitch.

Rake Yohn:

“You sure you’ve got this, princess? You can take it from here? If you need help, just say so and I’ll show you how to—” You cut Rake off with a wave of your hand as he finished taking off his clothes and laid down on the bed on his back. “I’ve got it, Rake, don’t worry about it. And don’t call me that while we’re doing this, I’m in charge here.” Rake grinned with amusement, watching you as you stripped down to your bra and panties and climbed on top of him to straddle his lap. “You’re right, how could I forget? You’re not a princess anymore, you’re my Queen.” You blushed at the new name, pointedly ignoring his obvious amusement and leaned down to kiss him, and he ran his hands up your back, hips and thighs appreciatively, his cock already hardening underneath you. You pulled away with a smirk, running your hands down his bare chest and giving him the sexiest look you could muster as you ground your hips down against his to rub against his bulge. He raised his eyebrows at you with a soft moan, clearly slightly surprised at how easily you were assuming the dominant role. Rake was pretty much always in control, so he had just assumed that you wouldn’t know what to do once the roles were reversed. Unbeknownst to him, however, you’d been looking forward to doing something like this for a while. You wrapped your hand around the base of Rake’s long, thick shaft, hovering over it so your dripping wet pussy was barely an inch away from the tip, and Rake’s hands automatically shot up to grab at your hips supportively. “Beg for it.” Rake looked up at you, surprised. “Sorry, my Queen?” You smirked. “You heard me, baby. Beg me to ride you.” Rake’s look of shock turned to one of pride, and he smiled. “You’ve really got the hang of this, haven’t you?” You grinned. “I learned from the best, baby.”

[stratossphere]

impatient. | j.k

johnny knoxville x crew exec!reader

word count: 6.2k

reader is busy working on set, and johnny can’t keep his hands off despite knowing that they can’t leave work.

warnings: johnny being a horny motherfucker, johnny’s dirty mouth, smut, oral (both receiving), 69 position

— —

Today was a rare day. Usually work was pretty chill, and you all got what you needed in a relaxed time frame that didn’t force anyone to rush or push themselves past a comfortable level. But today was busy. It had started off with the set list getting fucked up, so you’d been forced to reset and re-situate your filming location (‘you’ meaning you, Jeff, and Spike), and once you had finally gotten everything fixed, it had been a race to get everyone to set from wherever they were so that you could utilize the one day you were given for the location.

You hadn’t sat down since you’d arrived very early that morning, and only now, at almost three in the afternoon, were things starting to kick into gear.

Bam and Ryan were coming back from Pennsylvania with Novak in tow for some of the stunts that had been drawn up, and they were immediately thrown into the shit to get everything set up on time due to the fact that they had to fly right back the next day (you included) to meet filming requirements for Viva La Bam.

“Holy fuck. What the hell is all going on?” As Novak came towards you, his eyes widened at the slightly frantic look in your eyes. Their flight had been delayed by almost two hours, and had put you behind in lieu of the fact that your current setup completely relied on their three of them actually being there. You waved off his question, pulling yourself back into work-mode where you had been trying to give yourself a minuscule break from the chaos that was currently surrounding you.

“Okay. You need to go help them set up for the ramp for the lake, and then you two need to go get what you need out of the warehouse so that we can start shooting. We’re like, an hour and a half behind.” You spoke first to Ryan, then to Novak and Bam as you motioned around set for where they needed to go. They weren’t even top 5 on your list of things to handle, so you were definitely rushing.

“Jesus. You gonna let me breathe some air first?” Bam muttered irritably, sunglasses on his eyes barely hiding the deep scowl on his face. You hardly acknowledged his complaint, instead looking to Ryan so that Bam’s attitude didn’t penetrate your brain.

“While you’re over there, can you make sure Spike called the production company to clear our contract for the night? I don’t know how long we’re staying today, and they already tried to kick us off once this morning.” You explained, running your fingers through your hair and barely glancing over at Bam and Novak as they stalked off in the direction of the warehouse that you were all keeping all of your supplies in for the day.

“Sure, yeah. Are you…wearing the director’s headset?” Ryan motioned to the headset that was half on your head so that you could listen to the people around you with one ear and the calls on the headset with the other. You nodded, sighing and motioning towards where Jeff was standing in a large group of crew members.

“He said he had to ‘take a call’ and then handed it over for ‘just a minute’. So I’ve been getting all the bullshit calls from the four fucking stunts we have running right now.” You explained tiredly, betting on the espresso you had just downed on the one trip to your car that you had allowed yourself since arriving for the intense speed of the words spewing out of your mouth.

“You want me to take it back to him?” It was almost comical how alarmed Ryan looked by your current state. At least one person was worried about you. You waved it off, letting out a breath to calm your overstimulated brain and chuckling slightly.

“It’s fine. It’s just PJ calling every three seconds with some dumbass trick he wants me to watch.” You reassured, rolling your eyes at the thought. Every time you got a call from someone’s radio (usually Kosick’s) saying ‘Y/n to set four’ you knew you were about to see something stupid. Especially because set four consisted of Johnny, Steve-O, and Ehren, who had just spent the entire time fuckign with each other considering their stunt was literally called ‘The Tackle Cannonball’, which was just throwing each other into the water in the most violent ways they could come up with.

“I would kill myself if I had your job, Y/n.” Ryan said honestly, shaking his head and clapping you on the shoulder. You gave him an unimpressed look, snapping your fingers towards where Jeff was still standing in the same place running his mouth like he had been for the past half an hour.

“That’s great. Thanks. Now go do what I fucking asked.” Just as you spoke sourly in your best friend’s direction, you suddenly realized that you could hear someone calling your name on the headset. You immediately recognized Johnny’s impatient whine.

You snapped your fingers for Ryan to hurry up before you took a deep breath, readied yourself, and shifted your focus to the headset on your head.

“I’m not coming over there if it’s stupid, Knoxville.”

“It’s not! I just need a towel.” Johnny was clearly outraged by the fact that you had just called him out, because his tone was almost a scoff. You internally groaned. You knew you didn’t have any towels, but you didn’t want to have an entire back and forth on the radio when every single person on set was able to hear everything you were saying, so you just decided to put off conversing with Spike over whether or not you were good to stay for the rest of the day for another five minutes.

“I’ll be right there.”

Of course, his set was the furthest away from you, so by the time you finally made the trek up to where you could see them shoving each other around incessantly on the pier that you’d brought in for that purpose, you were exhausted. Maybe the espresso wasn’t working as well as you thought it was.

Ehren and Steve-O were wrestling on the very edge of the pier while Rick filmed from a distance, but Johnny was standing off to the side, almost shivering as he waited for you to get to where he was waiting. It wasn’t exactly freezing outside, but the water was a lot colder than the air, and they’d been fucking around in it for close to an hour now.

“Why do you need a towel? I have no idea if we even have any.” You admitted as you got within his earshot, giving yourself a quick second to admire his bare, dripping torso before refocusing on the task at hand. He threw a hand in the air.

“You literally have the director’s headset on. How did you not hear Jeff’s call?” Clearly genuinely bothered by the fact that you hadn’t brought him a towel, his voice still had a slight edge to it. You scowled, wishing that you could paint him a picture of how chaotic everything was outside of his immediate eye-line.

“I was talking to Dunn, Bam, and Novak. They just got here. An hour and a half late.” You explained tiredly, running a hand over your face and trying to will yourself into not starting an argument. You didn’t want to deal with a pissy Johnny on top of juggling about ten people’s worth of jobs for the next ten hours or so. “Well? What was the call?”

“I’m supposed to…follow you around to help with some of the work.” He smiled hesitantly, because he clearly knew that you were going to hate that idea. You took another very deep breath, just staring at him for a second before shrugging.

“Okay. Whatever.” Enlisting Johnny to ‘help’ with serious tasks was like asking a dog to package meat slices, but at that point it couldn’t have been any more stressful, so you just let it go. When you noticed that he was starting to shiver even more than he had when you’d first laid eyes on him, you sighed and handed him the clipboard in your free hand so that you could pull your sweatshirt (which was actually his) over your head. “Here. You look like you’re starting to get hypothermia.”

“You don’t have to–” His voice died in the middle of his sentence when he saw the tank-top you were wearing underneath the sweatshirt (which he apparently hadn’t already noticed when you’d been literally getting dressed right next to each other that morning) before he snatched the sweatshirt right out of your hand. The tank-top was pretty low-cut, and you just happened to be going sans-bra (because you hadn’t expected him to be such a wimp about the cold), and he was dead staring. You snapped your fingers in his face.

“Don’t start.” You warned as you took your clipboard back, knowing exactly what was going through his mind. He was practically drooling, and all you could see was the beginnings of your cleavage. He was the least self-controlled person you had ever met.

“I’m not even doing anything.” He protested as he pulled the sweatshirt over his head, immediately pulling down the hem once he had it on in a way that was inconspicuous at all. Your eyes fell to where he was not-so-subtly adjusting himself in his thin swim trunks before you raised an eyebrow in skepticism.

“You need a second there?” You asked dryly, stepping to the side slightly so that the rest of the guys (who weren’t really paying attention, but still) weren’t getting front row seats to Johnny Knoxville’s ill-timed hard-on. He shot you a look, which quickly dissipated into sheepishness as he nodded. You huffed. “You know, I’m supposed to be getting work done right now.”

“Why the fuck did you wear this to work? This is like, the skimpiest fuckin’ shirt ever.” He groaned, reaching out to most-likely pull the collar of your tank-top down like he always did when he was being horny and annoying and then letting out an indignant sound when you stopped him by grabbing his wrist. “C’mon, baby. Let’s take a ten minute break.”

“PJ. No. Get it together, because we’re really fucking busy right now and I don’t have time.” The only reason you snapped was to knock him out of his seeing-your-tits haze, but you could tell by the look on his face and the hand that stayed in his crotch region that you had triggered the opposite response. Perfect.

“You’re making it worse.” He muttered, making a face as he shifted his hips for the millionth time. You could never understand why yelling at him made him so horny. It was actually extremely inconvenient in a professional setting, where you did most of your yelling. You threw a hand in the air.

“Pull the sweatshirt down more. I have to talk to Jeff.” You motioned for him to follow you, and he gave a half-assed complaint before he was trailing after you, looking like a kid who’d been reprimanded in the middle of the store as he fought to keep up with you despite being quite a bit taller.

After a little while of getting back into work, you mostly forgot about the fact that Johnny was shadowing you. Occasionally he would give his two cents (which, most of the time, was not appreciated) or take over the heavy lifting whilst ignoring your protests over the fact, but other than that you were too busy to really pay attention to what he was doing.

That was, until he started to get impatient.

It wasn’t like there was some promise of you getting any alone time. He knew perfectly well that you were too swamped to be pulling away from the rest of the group, and it’s not like you’d done anything to encourage his requests for a break. Yet, somehow, it was like he was waiting for it. And with waiting came horny, bugging-you-constantly impatience.

You were in the middle of doing the last of the test runs with Bam, standing next to him at the top of the ramp with sketch papers from Dave, who had originally come up with the whole idea, as you explained how Bam was going to go down the ramp backwards on his skateboard and not slam his head into the solid wood of the ramp on the way down. However, just as soon as you slid back down to the bottom to re-join everyone who was watching and where Johnny was waiting just underneath the ramp, he was completely in your personal space.

“You look so hot when you’re bossing people around.” He whispered in your ear as he rested his head on your shoulder from behind you, completely ignoring the fact that Lance was not five feet away from the both of you with camera in hand. You turned the headset mic that you were still wearing completely off, because the last thing you needed was every member of the crew getting an in-ear rendition of Johnny trying to get in your pants before you turned back to shoot Johnny a look.

“Babe.” It was vague, but it was still a warning. You and Johnny hardly ever got touchy at work, and you weren’t about to start now despite how little he was concealing what he was trying to get out of you. You also knew that if Bam happened to see the both of you, he was going to make a big deal out of it, and then there was definitely going to be a camera directly in your face.

“God, I wanna see your tits so bad right now.” He was now right behind you with absolutely no room in between your bodies as he blatantly ignored your warning, and you could feel that he was hard. Really hard. And you were standing directly next to a decent-sized group of people. Hell, Novak was literally standing directly above the both of you on the ramp. But Johnny didn’t care. “Come to the trailer and sit on my face.”

“I’m getting a call from Jeff. I’ll be right back.” You needed to get away from Johnny before he convinced you. His filthy words and hands on your hips were making your head buzz, and you really couldn't afford to be pulled away from set. Especially not when you were so high-up in charge for the day. Maybe you could convince Jeff to make Johnny follow him around so that he would undoubtedly lose his hard-on.

Jeff was still in set two with Wee-man and Preston, and he looked surprised when he saw you coming across the grass towards him. His eyes flitted up to the top of your head, and you knew that he had just realized you still had his headset that he’d promised to take back after ‘a quick second’ over two hours before.

“Things smoothing out on your end?” He asked as you neared him, holding his hand out as you removed the headset from your head. You slapped it into his palm, nodding your head and letting both hands drag over your face momentarily.

“Yeah, we’re shooting. Appreciate the world’s most unhelpful assistant, by the way.” You complained, shooting him a look because you knew good and well that he had stuck Johnny with you on purpose. You adored Johnny, and he was an amazing boyfriend who you loved more than life itself, but as a co-worker, he was kind of a nightmare. Jeff immediately played innocent.

“What? You don’t want to work with your own boyfriend?” He scoffed, sliding the headset onto his head and then positioning it in the same place that you’d been wearing it throughout the day. When you just deadpanned at him, he laughed. “I put him with you because he’ll tell you to take a break.”

Oh, he was asking you to take a break, alright. Just not the kind that you would want, Jeff.

Jeff paused suddenly, signaling that someone was talking over the radio signal, only to sigh with an amused look on his face after he’d listened for a second. You could tell by that face that you weren’t going to like what was coming next.

“Speaking of, said boyfriend just hurt himself. He’s calling for you.” Un. Fucking. Believable. You just stared at him for a second, letting that little bit of information wash over you before you let out a dramatic groan and fought the urge to throw your clipboard.

“He’s gonna give me fucking gray hairs. Gray hairs!” You snapped, already reaching for the pack of cigarettes in your back pocket and the lighter in your front. Johnny just existing on the same set as you was like having an entirely separate full-time job. And, even worse, you had no idea whether he was actually hurt or just trying to get you away from everyone else so that he could pull a move on you. Both options were equally as likely. “Where is he?”

“In the trailer, apparently. Icing his ankle.” Jeff sounded a little suspicious at Johnny’s situation, and you silently wondered if he even realized that Johnny hadn’t been a part of a single stunt for over 45 minutes. You clenched your jaw, taking the radio that he handed over upon realizing that you were going to be away from set as he jabbed a finger in your direction. “Don’t forget you’re in charge of like, half of this. Do not be gone for an hour.”

“I’ll be back in like, 15 minutes at most.” You scoffed, waving his assumption that you were going to be a piece of shit like the rest of your co-workers and waste time off with a sour look. “He’s gonna whine for ten minutes and then he’ll be fine.”

You lit a cigarette as you headed around to the back of the barn-turned-warehouse where they had set up a trailer that was for breaks (and was to be used for only breaks), suddenly feeling suspicion starting to hit you a lot harder. There was no way he had called you specifically just to come fuck him while everyone thought he was hurt…right?

Wrong. You should’ve known something was up as soon as Jeff had said that Johnny went to the break trailer instead of the medic. However, it was too late for you to turn back and leave him hard and alone, because he had already locked eyes with you through the trailer window once you came into view. You sighed, not breaking your stride until you were pulling the cheap metal trailer door open.

And, low and behold, there was no ice to be seen.

“You did not just call me so that I would come in here and fuck you.” You said in disbelief as you were met with his pleased little smirk. You took your cigarette out of your mouth and stared him down where he was sitting spread-eagle on the couch without a single care in the world. His smirk only got bigger, and he shrugged.

“You can leave if you want.” He already knew what a pushover you were. You could see it in his eyes. It was especially hard to turn around and walk out after all of his talk about you sitting on his face not ten minutes before. You chewed on your lip, trying to look disapproving but letting poorly-hidden amusement break through as you gave up and locked the trailer door before fixing the one curtain that was open.

“You’re something else, you know that? I am third in charge out of everybody today, and this is the day you decide that you can’t keep it in your pants.” You lectured as you stepped closer to him, mentally nitpicking at the fact that he was sitting on the communal couch in soaking-wet swim trunks.

“Can’t help it. Can’t stop thinking about how good your tits look in that goddamn shirt.” He breathed, eyes watching you like a hawk waiting for long-awaited prey. His eyes were glued to your cleavage, which shone with a thin layer of sweat considering you’d been running around all day, and his lips were slightly parted. “Bet they’d look better out of it.”

“Oh my god. Is there any blood left in your head?” You teased in disbelief at how forward he was being. Usually he relaxed a little bit once the both of you were alone, but his cheeks still hadn’t lost that red tint that had spread through his face when you’d taken off his sweatshirt in the first place.

“It’s where I need it.” He said breathlessly, yanking you forward so that you were clumsily falling into his lap as soon as you were in reaching distance. His lips immediately fell to your chest, where he began to kiss and suck softly. “I’ve been harder’n shit all day because of you.”

“Your swimsuit is soaking through my pants.” You whined, threading your fingers into his hair despite your complaining as you felt cold starting to seep through the ass of your track pants. It was a good thing they were black, because there was no way you were going to be able to lie about what you and Johnny had been doing if there was a huge, wet stain right on your ass. Not suspicious at all.

“Then take them off.” Johnny said simply in response to your whining as he broke away from where he’d been sucking very obvious hickies on the top curve of your tits. There was a thin sheen of saliva coating his lips, and you were finding it harder and harder to maintain your temper in the face of how turned on he was starting to make you.

“Someday you’re going to get me fired.” You grumbled, kissing him as chastely as you could get away with before getting up and off of him so that you could save the only pair of pants you had on set with you from his stupid swim trunks. You felt your heartbeat pick up a little bit as he slowly turned sideways and then laid down on the couch, eyes watching you intently with a you know what I’m doing look on his face as he shoved the shitty trailer-cheap couch pillow behind his head as you quickly untied the string of your pants.

“Might want to play it safe and just ditch everything.” That teasing, shit-eating grin returned at full force as he pointed lazily in your direction, his other hand resting comfortably on top of his stomach. You bit the inside of your cheek, checking one more time to make sure that you’d properly shut all of the curtains before ditching the last of the clothing you had on. He groaned. “You’re gonna make me cum in my fuckin’ pants from all the way over there.”

“Look at me.” As you came back to kneel on the couch next to his hip, you bent down and gave him a slower kiss with a teasing hint of tongue to make sure that he was actually paying attention before cupping his cheek. “You can not keep me here for an hour or else I really will be fired. No teasing.”

“I don’t tease.” He protested, lying out of his ass as he reached out and found your hip so that he could guide you gently into being basically on top of him. His hands then trailed down your back and to your ass, squeezing gently as his eyes shifted back and forth between yours and your lips. “Just ride my face. Please, baby. Need it so bad.”

“Are you sure you don’t want–”

“I don’t want anything else.” He interrupted you before you could even offer to ride him, which was usually one of his favorites. You were a little surprised, because he loved adding things to the menu, and he hardly ever declined more. He was greedy that way. Grinning, you bit his bottom lip softly before you were getting up, not one to deny a wish that you weren’t exactly opposed to.

You barely had time to shift into straddling his head before his hands were coming up to circle over your inner thighs, pulling you down harshly so that your pussy hit his open mouth directly with no warning. You let out a gasp, which only got louder and more drawn out towards a moan as you felt his tongue begin to slowly circle your clit.

You didn’t get to sit on his face often (which was usually because you were too impatient to get his head between your legs), but goddamn did he know what he was doing when you did. His tongue swirled back and forth around your entrance and clit, and his hands on your ass were pushing to encourage you to grind on his tongue.

“Right there. Right there.” You babbled as his lips covered your clit and began to suck. Usually you would at least attempt to hold yourself back, as you were a fan of taking your time and relishing the sight of that pretty face between your legs, but you were on a time crunch, and you knew that he was sucking like that because he knew it would have you shaking and begging the quickest, so you were letting yourself chase your orgasm as fast as you wanted. “God, I fucking love you.”

Suddenly, when you glanced back momentarily and saw the painfully tight tent in his swim trunks, an idea popped into your head. You knew that you weren’t going to be able to push the guilt of him eating you out and then not getting anything in return out of your head, which in turn was going to make you late when you ultimately spent more time fucking him in the trailer on work time, so you came up with a different idea.

“Hold on.” If his tongue hadn’t just been on your clit, you would’ve had the level-headedness to laugh at the irritable whine that Johnny let out when you started to move away. You shushed him, starting to turn around. When you heard his breath hitch as your fingers found the tie of his swim trunks at the same time your legs positioned back on either side of his head in the 69 position, you knew that he had caught on. You turned back to give him a coy grin. “Save time. Plus, I wanna taste you.”

“You’re gonna give me a fucking heart attack, dollface.” You heard him breathe from behind you as you got his swim trunks down enough to let his extremely hard cock spring free of the tight material. The tip was red, and there was precum smeared all over both the inside of the swim trunks and on his actual cock. He let out a slow groan as you swirled your tongue around the slit to clean the precum off, his hips jerking slightly under your weight as he groaned once more before attaching his mouth back to your pussy.

You moaned with your lips against his cock as he resumed sucking harshly, realizing that your teasing of his tip was in no way matching what he was doing to you on the scale of trying to cum around the same time. So, in turn, you took his cock into your mouth, sucking him down slowly and then feeling triumph run through you at the low, shaky moan that he let out against your clit.

You ran your tongue along the vein on the underside of his cock as you bobbed your head, fighting the urge to boast at the fact that you could feel him losing his focus. His lips would pause as he had to take a second every once in a while while you fought your gag reflex so that his tip was hitting the back of your throat with every matched thrust of his hips and bob of your head.

It was getting hard to hold yourself back from cumming right then and there on his tongue. Albeit, you weren’t trying extremely hard, but he had found that sweet-spot rhythm between sucking and licking at your clit that had your legs shaking where you were holding yourself up. It was getting harder and harder to focus on his pleasure and not yours.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck. Slow down. Slow down. Slow down.” Johnny’s desperate voice reached your ears only because his mouth moved away from your pussy, his tone strained and his hand tightening on your calf where he had been squeezing. You rolled your hips down once as you continued to suck his cock despite his pleas, knowing that even if he was close, you were closer.

You were whining like a pornstar by that point; your fingers fisting into the material of the couch as his mouth went back to your clit once he caught on to what you were asking of him. At that point you were really glad that you had locked the trailer door, because you were both being really loud, and it was the break trailer, after all.

Johnny only had to swirl his tongue over your sensitive clit one more time before you were cumming without warning, the strength that had previously been keeping your back arched for him weakening slightly as you felt a wave of pleasure shoot from your pussy, through your stomach, and up to cloud through your brain.

However, you didn’t have much time to wrap your head around your orgasm before Johnny was bucking his hips up into your mouth, letting out a guttural moan before you felt him spill his release right down your throat. His whole body jerked underneath you, and for a moment you were both groaning and gasping as you came down from your highs at the same time.

“God fucking damn.” Johnny breathed as you slowly pulled off of his cock with a pop!, his whole body jerking as you did so before you were slowly turning so that you could sit up and off of where you were basically laying on his chest.

And god, what a sight he was. His hair was all over the place from when your fingers had been in it, his whole mouth was covered in your wetness and cum, and his eyes were still closed as he caught his breath.

“You still alive?” You asked softly with a smile, sitting down next to him and running your fingers through his hair just to fuck it up some more. No one was going to assume he had sex hair because, well, he always had sex hair. His eyebrows furrowed slightly as he leaned into your touch.

“Sometimes I get a little jealous when I think too long about how you got so good at sucking cock.” He muttered in response, eyes slowly opening back up when you got back up to collect your clothes from where you’d discarded them on the floor. You snorted as you started to pull your underwear and sweats back on. You were pleased to see that in the time since you’d taken them off, the pants had dried considerably.

“Maybe it’s because a certain boyfriend of mine can’t keep it in his pants every time he sees skin, and needs to call me for bullshit injuries just so that he can get a little head.” You pointed out, raising an eyebrow at him once you had pulled your shirt back over your head. He chuckled as he re-tied his swim trunks, finally getting up off the couch and then turning back to wince at the huge wet spot his ass had left on the tan couch.

“First of all, I didn’t know you were gonna suck my cock. I just wanted to see you naked.” He hummed, coming up behind you and dipping his lips to your neck before he inhaled softly. “You’re gonna have to wear something over this tank-top, honey.”

“For the last time, PJ. I don’t give a fuck that it’s see-thru.” You groaned, not missing the fact that he was dipping his warm fingers under the hem of said shirt. He laughed again, one hand snaking up your chest and throat before he was tipping your chin forward so that you were staring at the both of you in the mirror that was on the bathroom door.

“I said that because your tits are covered in hickies, Y/n. Unless you want to explain all of this to Jeff.” He explained himself with a hint of snark, kissing up your neck and then across your cheek. You grinned, shoving him away before hurrying to the shared coat closet to see if anyone had left a jacket or sweatshirt inside.

And, jackpot, someone had.

However, just as you were going to reach for a sweatshirt that you had a good feeling was going to have a CKY logo on it, a hand grabbed yours, pulling it away from the sweatshirt. You turned back in surprise to be met with the disapproving stare of your boyfriend.

“Absolutely fucking not.” He shook his head, shutting the door before you could get a word in edgewise. When you threw a hand in the air out of exasperated confusion, he sucked on his teeth. “You’re not wearing some other guy’s sweatshirt after you just had my dick in your mouth.”

Paint a prettier picture, why don’t you?

“PJ, we don’t have time for this. I said I’d be gone for ten minutes and it’s been like, 20.” You whined, trying to open the closet backup and failing miserably against the strength of his hand against the door. He clearly wasn’t budging, his scowl only getting deeper as you tried to reason with him.

“No. You can wear this one.” He said, almost through his teeth. In all honesty, despite the ridiculousness of the situation, it was kind of hot that he was that worked up about you wearing another guy’s clothes. However, you really did need to be getting back to set.

“You’d rather go shirtless and freeze than have me wear one of our friends’ sweatshirts for a couple of hours?” You asked critically, narrowing your eyes at him as you waited for him to hand the sweatshirt over. You were silently putting a reminder in your head to show up in someone else’s clothes someday to see just how much it would piss him off. Hey. He was the one that had called himself jealous in the first place.

“Yes.” He then tore the sweatshirt up and over his head, scowl unwavering as he handed it over to you. You made a face because it was still a little damp, but ultimately took it regardless. “And I don’t give a shit if it’s only for a couple of hours. You’re not walking around smelling like Bam after you just sixty-nined me.”

“Ooh. You’re gonna make me jizz my pants.” You hummed, putting off putting the sweatshirt back on long enough to bite your lip and wrap your arms around his waist. He was standing at his full height like he usually did when he got annoyed, and your chin barely reached his chest. “Get me a ‘Johnny Knoxville’ thong and I’ll wear it every day for the rest of my life.”

“You’re fuckin’ ridiculous, you know that?” He scoffed in disbelief as you pulled him down for a kiss, his lips moving against yours slowly as you inhaled his smell one last time before breaking away from him again.

“Hey. I love you.” You scolded, pulling the sweatshirt over your head and trying to ignore the wet material touching your skin. It would dry quickly once you got back outside, but for now it felt disgusting. The things people do for love. He pressed a kiss to your forehead before letting you slip back into your shoes.

“I love you too, you grumpy asshole.” Tough talk from someone who still had a dirty look on his face over Bam’s sweatshirt, but whatever.

You both re-emerged back onto set fairly quickly, and you were satisfied to see that Jeff barely gave you a second glance as he handed back the clipboard that you’d left with him when you’d gone to look at Johnny’s ‘hurt ankle’.

“Bam and Novak are almost done shooting their stunt, and everyone’s still watching, so I was about to head over.” Jeff filled you in, half on his phone and half talking to you. You were glad he was addicted to texting, because if not he would’ve noticed the fact that you now had Johnny’s sweatshirt back on and Johnny’s ankle clearly wasn’t injured.

However, once everyone was together crowded around the ramp to watch Bam and Novak finish off their stunt, Ryan was immediately next to you and leaning to whisper in your ear.

“Next time you two are gonna act like horny teenagers in the middle of a work day, try not to do it in the shared trailer that isn’t sound-proofed.”

Fuck. Busted.

[asskickedbygirl]

Jealous? [Brandon DiCamillo x F!Reader]

Desc: You’re Bam’s best friend but are popularly hated on gossip websites. Dico’s jealous of your friendship. Smut ensues

A/n: i’m back thank god. will be writing more now that i have time!!

Warnings: smut (18+), p in v, oral f!receiving, alcohol, insecurities, angst

3.3k words

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Ever since you and the crew had gained fame from the CKY videos, you and Bam had grown inseparable. Of course he became the pretty boy toy for MTV and all the magazines while you were brushed off as his girl best friend but you didn’t care, he was your best friend after all. You didn’t like to admit it but since your rise in popularity, the other guys may have been kind of side tracked in your life compared to Bam. Sure you created everything together but it was usually just the two of you and the other guys rather than the crew as a whole when you were at events and things. Dico had been your best friend since middle school but you found yourself drifting apart every day. It wasn’t even that great being Bam’s best friend from a celebrity standpoint. Sometimes articles and gossip sites would try expose the two of you for secretly dating which you found funny until you’d open the forums of comments and read them until your eyes were sore. ‘He’s way out of her league.’ ‘There’s no way he’s fucking that fugly bitch.’ ‘He could do so much better.’ were just some of the ones circulating. You knew it was self destructive and most of it was just bullshit from horrible people but you couldn’t help but let it consume you whole. Sometimes you’d opt out of walking the red carpet with Bam to avoid the hatred being spewed but it was inescapable if you still wanted to be around him. The guys knew about all the comments, hell it was practically unavoidable. They never brought them up to make you feel bad, instead opting to say they’ll break the commenters kneecaps live on radio bam. Sure it helped but it didn’t stop the tears on your pillow each night.

After a three day bender with Bam and Novak, you finally returned to your humble abode of Castle Bam. Dico was staying there for a while along with the other guys and you went wandering to his room to show him something. The copious amounts of alcohol had worn off by then but your exhaustion was making you a little delirious, hence why you found yourself knocking on his door. You let yourself in after a few seconds of silence, figuring you couldn’t walk in on anything too bad at 7 in the morning or whatever time it was. Alas, he was fast asleep in his bed but not for long. You triumphantly walked over to his window and pulled the curtains open dramatically. “Good morning!” You chimed causing Dico to groan loudly, shoving his head into his pillow. You skipped over to where he slept and pulled the covers back, clambering into the bed in your gross clothes from partying. “You smell terrible” Dico mumbled against his sheets, turning his head to face you. “Thank you very much, I haven’t showered in four days!” Dico rubbed his eyes with his hands and flipped his body to lie upright, his shirtless torso exposed. “What are you doing here?” He grumbled, still in a daze. You smiled, a manic, delirious smile. “I have something to show you.” Dico narrowed his eyes, a little concerned.

You flipped to your side so your back was facing him to show off the fresh heartagram tattoo on your lower back just above the waistline of your jeans. A ‘tramp stamp’ if you will. “Oh my god.” He groaned, hiding his head in his hands. “What? It’s matching with Bam’s now.” Dico just shook his head, “Well of course it is.” He shot sharply. You returned to your previous position, “What’s that supposed to mean?” You acted like you had no idea what on earth he was talking about. “It’s always you and Bam now.” You smiled, a little unsure if he was being serious or not. “Are you jealous DiCamillo?” You pushed his hair off his forehead playfully but he brushed you off. “I’m not jealous, it’s just, well.” You raised your brows, waiting for him to get to the point. “We used to be best friends.” You laughed now, a hearty laugh. “Well I can have two best friends Dico!” Brandon just shook his head. “No you can’t. Don’t you know what ‘best’ means.” You weren’t laughing anymore, this felt weirdly serious. “What are you twelve? What are you talking about?!” Dico shrugged, leaning over to get his pack of smokes from the dresser and lighting one up. You sat up on your knees. “Look I’m sorry we drifted apart a little, I am.” Bran didn’t respond, inhaling his cigarette and passing it to you like a joint. “I’ve missed you, I really have and I feel bad about it. Can we be best friends again? I promise I can have two.” Brandon looked at you and smiled flatly before rolling his eyes and nodding. You grinned happily and jumped to kiss him on the forehead adoringly. After finishing the cigarette you changed into Dico’s clothes to sleep next to him for the remainder of the morning. No spooning or anything but it was nice. You knew it was time to stop sidetracking the guys, and who better to break that than with Dico himself.

The next few weeks passed by quick, you tried your best to talk and hang out with Brandon as much as you did with Bam but that was hard when he wasn’t as in the spotlight and into partying as you were. After another weekend of drinking you returned to the castle, cheery as ever, hugging Brandon tightly from behind once you entered his room as he played his video games. “Heyyyy nerd.” Dico wasn’t enjoying your sudden affection and taunting, instead switching his game off and hurrying to head to bed as it was already pretty late. “What’s wrong with you?” You jeered, crossing your arms. “Nothing.” He mumbled, taking his shirt off to sleep. “No there is something wrong with you. You’re being so distant even after the whole best friend thing.” Brandon caught your gaze, his eyes cold and stern. “Well nothing much really changed, did it?” He spat and you scoffed, “Is that what this is about? ‘Best friends’ like we’re in middle school?!” Dico scratched the back of his head, and turned so his back was facing you. “You know he’s not gonna fuck you the more you hang out with him right?” There was silence. Your heart sunk to the bottom of your stomach upon hearing those hateful words.

“What the fuck did you just say to me?” You sobered up real quick, the swaying in your head remained the same but you were stern. Fucking angry. It seemed like he had only just realised the weight of the words he spat at you, turning to face you, his gaze softening, concern filling them. “I- I didn’t mean that.” You got up from the spot where you were sat on the floor and walked up to him, not caring that he was shirtless. “No, please enlighten me. What the fuck did you mean by that?” You had never been so livid in your life, but now your emotions were taking over as you felt hot tears begin to rise. “I was just kidding.” Your cheeks flushed a hot red as salty tears began to spill down them, causing Brandon to look even more devastated. “That’s not fucking funny.” Your voice cracked as you spoke, tough guy act completely broken down. Bran lifted his hands up to try wipe off the tears that fell, “I’m sorry, I’m- fuck I’m just-“ You swatted his hands away and went to storm out but Dico grabbed you by your shoulders to stop you. “No don’t go. I’m really fucking sorry, I didn’t mean it I was just trying to hurt you, it was fucking stupid.” You turned your gaze back up to him, your eyebrows furrowed. “You think I don’t know Bam would never fuck me? I don’t want him to but god I’m reminded of the fact he wouldn’t every fucking day. Do you know how exhausting that is?” Dico shook his head silently. “You of all people. Always first to my defence but it was never true, was it? You think the same as everyone else.” Your words were sharper than knives, cutting into Brandon’s flesh. “No, no. It is true, I don’t know why I brought it up I’m just jealous that’s all.”

You narrowed your brows. “Jealous?” Brandon nodded frantically. “All that time you’ve been spending with Bam I just- I miss you. And I think you’re beautiful. Really fucking beautiful. All those assholes are just jealous they’re not fucking Bam.” You hated that your snickered a little at his comment. “I’m not fucking Bam you know.” Brandon laughed, “Yeah but they all think you are. Plus they’re probably jealous Bam gets to fuck you.” Your face faltered. Sure he was just trying to cheer you up but there was no point lying. You pushed his hands off your shoulders and went to leave but Brandon noticed your change in demeanour, and stopped you from going once more by slamming his back on the door. “I know what you’re thinking, and I’m not lying. Any guy would be lucky to fuck you Y/n. I’m serious.” Brandon lifted his hands up once more to brush off the spare tears on your blotchy face with the pads of his thumb and this time you let him. He held onto your face when he was finished. “I’m jealous because I want to be the one everyone thinks you’re fucking.” Your eyes widened. “Don’t fuck with me Dico.” He shook his head. “I’m dead serious. I’ve liked you for god knows how long.” You shook your head in disbelief, he nodded now and leaned in to press his lips against yours.

It was a pretty big shock, who knew that’s where this conversation was going. You were fairly conscious at your wet cheeks and the snot that was about to fall down your nose as Dico continued to kiss you softly while you moved your lips with his. Brandon pulled away first, still holding your face. “You taste like salt and cigarettes.” You laughed then, reaching your hand up to wipe the moistness off of yourself. “I promise it’ll be better next time.” Brandon raised his eyebrows quizzically. “Next time?” You rolled your eyes and pulled him in by his face to kiss him again, this time with more passion. You made out for minutes, Brandon’s hands finding your waist as he slipped his fingers under your top to touch the skin beneath, playing with the hem all the while. He pulled away to ask if he could take it off, and you agreed, lifting your arms to allow him. He looked right at your tits when the tank top was off, holding onto your waist once more and sighing as he leaned in to kiss you. While making out, Brandon’s hands snaked down to hold your ass and began lifting you off your feet, signalling for you to wrap your legs around his waist. When you did so, Brandon carried you over to his bed and lay you down on top of it, leaning above you while still connecting lips.

Brandon pulled away to move down and begin unbuttoning your pants. “Is this okay?” He asked and you smiled, “More than okay.” Dico flashed you a smiled as he pulled your pants off, discarding them on the floor. What surprised you then, was that he didn’t immediately take his own pants off, desperate to be inside you. Instead he began kissing the inside of your thighs and playing with the band of your panties. You sat up on your elbows, “What are you doing?” Dico licked your inner thigh then, sending shivers to your core. “Can I eat you out?” Your heart swelled enormously and you almost laughed at the absurdity of the situation. “I didn’t take you for an eat out on the first date kinda guy Brandon.” Dico shook his head, “I’m not. But I feel like a dick and I wanna make it up to you.” You raised your brows. “And I also just want to eat you out.” You laughed and nodded, “Be my guest.” He smiled then and hooked his fingers into the band of your panties, pulling them down and throwing them somewhere on the floor of his room. You didn’t expect Bran to almost gasp as he stared at your core, it made you feel sort of self conscious until he began running his finger through your folds, admiring the slick that coated them. You whimpered at the contact making him look up. “Already so wet, I’ve barely touched you.” His teasing made you even more wet than before as your chest rose and fell quickly. “If all it took to get in your pants was to be an asshole I would’ve done it a lot sooner.” You shoved his head from between your legs and he laughed but stopped you from responding as soon as his tongue made contact with you. You whined softly, feeling him lick from your clit to your core. You threaded your fingers into his hair and pushed him forward. It caught you by surprise when Dico slipped his fingers into you abruptly, beginning to move them in and out as he sucked on your clit. “Fuck you’re good at this.” You muttered, your breathing scattered. After a few moments of fingering and sucking, Bran switched positions. This time he had his index and his middle finger rubbing your clit rapidly as he tongue fucked you. You moaned loudly at this change of pace, your fingers tightening their grip around his hair. It didn’t take long for Dico to bring you to the edge. “I’m- fuck I’m close Bran.” This only encouraged him, quickening his pace until you finished on his tongue with an almost pornographic moan. You forgot to consider the fact everyone was home at that moment but hoped they just figured you’d snuck a guy home from the bar or were just having a real nice time by yourself. The teasing you and Dico would get would be relentless if they found out you fucked, endless ammo. But you didn’t even care about that in the moment, too hung up on Brandon lapping up the rest of your cum.

You pulled him up and kissed him gently, tasting yourself off of him. You pulled away and smiled, blissed out and horny. “Where the fuck did you learn that?!” Dico shrugged, “I watch a lot of porn.” You pushed his hair off his forehead as you laughed and pecked him once more before reaching down to unbuckle his pants. He sat up on his knees and began yanking them down, discarding them on the same floor your clothes were. He took his boxers off with them, you sat up on your elbows to take a look. Brandon laughed when he caught this, your eyes wide, lip between your teeth. “Like what you see?” He kissed you before you could respond, hands snaking around your back to undo your bra. You let him do so, throwing it away. Dico bit his lip and began handling your tits roughly with his hands, the contact making you whine. As he did this you could feel his length brushing against your core, making you more desperate than ever. He laughed when he caught your hips moving and thrusting in his direction. “Alright, I’ll fuck you now don’t worry.” His lip was between his teeth once again when he held out his hand for you to spit on. He pumped himself a couple of times before rubbing it between your folds and pushing into you slowly. The breaching caused you to tense up, the pain ringing through you. But he went slow, and gentle. Eventually the slow thrusts became fuelled with pleasure as you shut your eyes in ecstasy. "Does that feel good?" He whispered, his eyes boring into your face. You nodded. “Tell me how good it feels.” His thrusts were still painstakingly slow but god did it feel amazing. “Feels so fucking good Bran.” Dico smiled, “There ya go.”

Your eyes were barely open as you clung onto his back, pressing his chest against your own, whimpering into his ear. The pace quickened the louder you moaned until Dico switched his position. He got up on his knees, still partly inside you and hoisted one of your legs up so it was around his waist before climbing on top of you again. “Be loud for me. Yeah?” You nodded frantically before Bran slammed into you roughly, fucking you nice and hard now. You fulfilled his wishes as you moaned loudly, out of control. Dico’s grunts and groans as he ploughed were enough to get you to the edge for the second time that night. “I’m close. Fuck!” Brandon brushed your hair away from your face. “Just hold on and wait for me babe. Okay?” You nodded, sighing as you tried to hold it. The way he said ‘babe’ felt so natural. Not before long, Dico’s thrusts became sloppy and out of time to the steady pace he had set. His groans became more aggressive before he spat out, “I’m gonna cum.” With only a few more thrusts, Dico spilled into you and quickly moved his fingers to rub your clit until you finished around his cock.

You stayed like that for a while. “You’re on the pill right?” You laughed, “A little late for that isn’t it?” Brandon’s eyes widened but you lightly slapped his face, “Yes I’m on the pill. Relax!” Dico sighed and smiled before pulling out of you, examining the way his cum poured out. He grinned smugly as he began pushing it back inside of you with his fingers, but you grabbed his wrist, you were already super sensitive. He understood and got up from the bed, putting his boxers on so he could head down the hall to the bathroom and fetch you a towel. You lay on his bed and watched him walk to the door, slightly dazed after what had just happened. When he opened the door to let himself out he simply went “Shit.” Bam, Novak and Raab were stood outside, child-like awe painted on their faces. Bam’s eyes lit up even more when he saw you lying there, naked on Dico’s bed, vagina no doubt on display. You scrambled quickly to get under the covers. “Y/N?!?!” The guys all exploded with shock, yelling and saying iterations of. “YOU GUYS FUCKED?!” With Chris even claiming he ‘knew it’. You hid your face in your hands and could tell Dico felt bad as he began trying to chill them out, though the smug grin stayed there. “Man I thought one of you guys was fucking in here, not both of you?!” Novak laughed. “I left my broad in my bed to see who it was moaning up a damn storm. “Yeah jesus Y/n you’re very vocal.” Bam cackled. You wanted to curl up and die and also hit yourself for being so nonchalantly loud in a house full of assholes. “Leave her alone guys.” Brandon tried to get them to fuck off. “Alright Mr. Cream pie we’ll leave you be now.” Raab giggled as he took the guys away, your cheeks burning a hot red.

Dico slammed the door, instead picking up an old shirt to use on you. “Fuck I’m sorry.” You shook your head. “No it’s fine, just that almost all of my closest friends have now seen my vagina.” Dico laughed as he held on to your knee and began wiping his cum off you. “Nothing to be ashamed about. You got a-“ You cut him off by slamming your hand against his mouth. “Don’t even.”

End.

@jackussy420 @gnarkillknoxville @lovexjoe @spoookyberry

[philipjohnclapp]

MASTERLIST

THIS IS MY JACKASS MASTERLIST I WRITE ANYTHING AND ALL AND ITS ALL LINKED HERE!

Johnny Knoxville

Out of Control (Angst, featuring Knoxville as Clay Barber from Reboot, mentions of character death, substance abuse, and Reboot spoilers)

CKY Member Dating Knoxville Headcanon's (Mentions of the band and the show and Jackass, and relationships with the other CKY guys, pretty much fluff and barely nsfw)

T-Pee (It is a series and it’s on AO3, angst, silver fox Knoxville, hurt, dark comedyish)

Johnnny Knoxville Dating Pregnant Reader Headcanons (Young Johnny, fem reader, fluff for the most part)

Steve-O

Quietus of All Drugs (Angst, no comfort, all cannon, also includes Johnny, and Chris, extremely triggering)

The File (Fluff, Gender Neutral Reader, humor, slight gore)

My Annoying Neighbor Steve (Kinda hate at start, fluff, female reader, humor, kinda ship)

Steve-O Dating Reader Headcanons (No gender implied take it as you will, fluff)

Steve-O Dating a Popstar Headcanons (Female reader, fluff, a bit of smut, funny and wholesome.)

My Suicide: Steve-O's Cut; How to Write a Letter? (Angst, hurt, mentions of all the guys, series on AO3)

If You’re Gonna Be Dumb, You Gotta Be Tough(Goretober Prompt 1, super bad writing, angst, mentions of Knoxville.)

Dave England

Dating Dave England Headcannon's ( Headcannons, fluff, no gender specified, humor.)

Bam Margera

I’m Y/N And I'm Gonna Tease Bam All Day Long (Drabble, fem reader, smut.)

Sex Pollution (Imagine, fem reader implied, smut, slow burn, jealous, reader is Johnny Knoxvilles sister.)

Rigged Game of Ping Pong (Drabble, angst, Jackass Forever, issues, Goretober prompt 3.)

Chris Pontius

I think that you made it up, I think that your mind is gone. (Long Fic, Female Y/N, noncon, smut, Jackass MTV)

Ryan Dunn

Ryan Dunn Headcanons (Mostly fluff & wholesome, a bit of reader/yn.)

Wee-Man

None

Preston Lacy

None

Ehren McGhehey

Submissive Ehren McGhehey Smut Headcannons

(Headcannons, smut, fluff, no reader specified, no character specified, just whoever you’d like.)

Jeff Tremaine

None

Spike Jonze

Car Jacking

(Smut, masturbation, mentions of ships, rough)

Brandon DiCamillo

None

Chris Raab

None

Poopies

None

Rachel Wolfson

None

Zach

None

Brandon Novak

None

Tony Hawk

None

Ville Valo

None

(Will edit as requested)

PAIRINGS

Chris Pontius and Steve-O

Chris Pontius and Steve-O Dating Headcannons (Fluff, humor, mentions of light drugs, mentions of Wild Boyz)

Vomiting Lust (NSFW, humor, mentions of Wild Boyz, and vomit. )

Johnny Knoxville and Steve-O

Johnny Knoxville and Steve-Os First Time Together Headcanons (NSFW, humor, dirty, ship obviously.)

Clowning Around (Bromance, not really a ship, denial?, humor, fluff.)

Cheap cologne, even cheaper cigarettes, and Tennessee whiskey. (Goretober prompt 2, Slight NSFW, rough, substance abuse.)

Bam Margera and Johnny Knoxville

Rebel Against The Man (Implied Relationship, mentions of smut, drug and alcohol abuse, character death, angsty, suicide implied?)

Will edit and add as requests flood in, plus there’s too many pairings, so that make it easier.

[welcometojackass2022]

How the CKY Boys Would React To You Using Pet Names On Them In Bed (Smut Drabble/Imagine)

@chasingwinehouse you give me so many good ideas man ILY and I appreciate you <3 this doesn’t include Bam or Ryan cuz if I ever do this for the Jackass guys I’ll include them there. This is for Raab, Rake, Frantz and Novak ONLY, aka my favorite underrated men <3 no Dico cuz I couldn’t figure out a pet name you would call him. Also, Raab’s part involves mommy kink and Rake’s part involves daddy kink and breeding kink.

Raab Himself (Sweetheart)

“How’s that feel, baby, you like that?” You rubbed your thumb over the tip of Raab’s cock, smiling when a soft, whiny moan left his lips. “Feels so good, mommy, thank you.” The two of you were sitting on your bed; you were sitting with your legs crossed, and Raab was in your lap with his back to your chest as you pumped his cute little cock in your hand, his head leaning back against your chest as he gasped and jerked with every little touch. You pressed your lips against the shell of his ear, keeping your voice a low, soothing tone as you encouraged him. “Come on, baby, don’t be afraid to get loud for me, I like hearing you moan and whimper for me, you always sound so sweet.” You pressed your lips against his neck, jerking his cock in your hand as your thumb rubbed over his slit, and Raab gasped, bucking his hips up against your grip. “Fuck, mommy, I’m so close, please don’t stop.” You chuckled, kissing the spot under his earlobe as you pumped his cock with a firm grip. “Aw, you gonna cum, baby? You gonna blow your cute little load all over my hand so I can make you suck it off my fingers? Come on, Raab, give me what I want. Cum for me, sweetheart.” The second the term of affection left your lips, Raab’s face went bright red and he let out a moan of shock, hips jerking intensely as he suddenly came all over your hand. You watched him with a stunned look, gently rubbing circles over the tip of his cock to help bring him down from his high as he relaxed against your chest, breathing heavily with a satisfied look on his face. “Jesus, baby, if I’d known you’d react like that I would have called you sweetheart way earlier.” Raab blushed. “Sorry, mommy, I didn’t mean to cum that fast.” You laughed, stroking his hair with your clean hand. “Don’t apologize, sweetie, that was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. I’ll remember that next time we do this. Now lick your cum off my hand like I asked, baby.” Raab eagerly obliged.

Rake Yohn (Daddy Kink)

You were on your hands and knees on the bed, Rake fucking you from behind with his chest to your back and his hand lightly holding the base of your neck. “Keep going, princess, you’re doing so good for me. Keep taking my cock, baby.” You leaned your head back so he could kiss you, his grip on your throat tightening just slightly, and he smacked his free hand against your asscheek as he thrust inside you again. “God, baby, your pussy feels incredible. You have no fucking idea how badly I want to put a baby inside you right now, how badly I wanna fill your pussy with my cum and get you pregnant. You’d look so good with my baby inside you, wouldn’t you?” His hand rubbed over your belly demonstratively, and you moaned loudly, mouth falling open in pleasure as his cock stretched you out. Everything felt so good, you couldn’t help what came out of your mouth next. “Fuck, daddy, please fill my pussy with your cum, please put your baby inside me, I want it so bad–” Rake’s grip on your throat immediately tightened, his thrusts becoming ten times more intense as he grabbed you by the hair and yanked you back so his mouth was near your ear. “What was that, princess? What did you just call me? Say it again, baby, I wanna hear you call me that again.” You whined loudly, desperate for his cock as he pounded your pussy with as much force as he could. “Daddy.” Rake pulled your head back again. “Say it louder, princess.” You raised your voice, nearly screaming from the pleasure as his cock head stretched you out. “Daddy!” Rake promptly came inside you, hands grabbing at your hips to keep himself steady as he pumped your pussy full of his seed, and then he pulled his cock out of you with a low groan. “Fuck, princess, I don’t know where that came from but I fucking loved it.” You smiled with an exhausted look. “I’ll keep that in mind, daddy.” He shot you a warning look, hands spreading your thighs so he could admire the sight of his cum dripping from your pussy and down your thighs. “Watch it, princess, unless you want me to go for another round.”

Joe Frantz (Sir)

Frantz’s hand came down hard on your ass, a condescending look on his face as you moaned loudly at the contact. “God, you’re such a slut. Moaning like a desperate little slut and my cock’s not even inside you yet, do you hear how pathetic you sound?” He mocked your moans, his smacks becoming even harder as he did so. “You like it when I smack your ass like this, baby? You like being spanked like the whore you are?” You bit your lip, moving your hips back against his touch as his palm smacked against your ass. “Yes, sir, I love when you spank my ass like this, it’s the only thing I deserve.” As soon as you called him sir, Frantz immediately ceased his actions and grabbed you by the hair, yanking your head back to force you to look at him. “Sir? Did you just call me sir? Getting your ass spanked like a worthless fucking slut and you call me sir, you’re even more pathetic than I thought. Don’t stop now, sweetheart, keep calling me sir. You’re lucky I’m even touching you right now, the least you could do is show a little respect.” Frantz began to spank you again, his palm coming down on your ass with ten times as much force, and he tugged on your hair warningly to remind you to do as he had ordered. “Fuck, please spank my ass harder, sir, I love it so much, spank my ass like the worthless little whore I am.” Frantz’s gaze darkened, and the smug look came back as he mocked you again. “You are a whore, aren’t you? My whore. My little fucking whore who does whatever I tell you to do. No one else gets to spank you like this, do they? No one else gets to call you a worthless little slut, do they? I don’t fucking think so. I’m the only man you’ll ever call sir, and I’m the only man that’ll ever get to spank you like this, got it?” You whined as his hand came down on your ass again. “Yes, sir.”

Brandon Novak (Babe)

“Fuck, Brandon, that feels good.” Brandon had you on your back on the bed, your legs over his shoulders as he fucked you. He grinned, his hands stroking your thighs as he thrust his cock inside you again. “Of course it does, baby, this is what I’m best at.” You playfully rolled your eyes, tightening up around his cock, and he pulled your legs off of his shoulders and set them back down on the bed, leaning over you to fuck you in the normal missionary position. “How’s that, (Y/n), you like that?” You nodded. “Yeah, babe, that feels good, can you use your fingers too?” Novak grinned cockily, leaning his face close to yours as he raised his eyebrows. “Babe? Yeah, that’s right, I’m your babe, babe. Man, I like that.” You raised your eyebrows. “…you like me calling you babe? That’s pretty mild, babe, especially for you.” Novak shrugged, looking noticeably energized as he fucked you faster with his hands on your hips. “It’s sweet, though. I’m your babe, I like that.” You laughed, leaning up to kiss him affectionately. “You’re sweet when you wanna be. Weird as hell, but sweet. Now come on, babe, finish me off.” Novak nodded eagerly. “Anything for you, babe.”

[bambimargera]

Hell or Helsinki (Bam x Ville)

Bam finds out his girlfriend has been cheating on him and decides he needs to get away to clear his head.

prt. 1 of ?

contains: crying, drinking, slight smut

~♡~♡~

“I know dude, I’m so sorry..” Novak tried as hard as he could to keep Bam from exploding, having learned from past experiences that the rowdy skateboarder doesn’t typically handle bad news with grace. “I thought it would be best if you heard it from a friend, and not some stupid tabloid..” The blondes concern continued, watching with caution as Bam paced around his room frantically throwing a few things in his bag. “You could do way better than her any-“

“I fucking know i can, that’s why i can’t believe she would cheat!” Bam interrupted and threw a shirt at Novak, taking little effort to knock him down onto the bed. “I’m leaving, don’t follow me.” He warned, slamming the door of the bedroom behind him. His stomps echoed through the castle, alerting everyone that something was wrong. “Bam! Bam where are you going in such a hurry?!” April yelled as she ran towards the front door, hoping to block his path before he would inevitably do something stupid. Bam stomped down the stairs to stand in front of her, his eyes glossy and bloodshot. “Hell or Helsinki, I’ll figure it out.” He grabbed April by the shoulders and moved her out of the way to fling open the door, leaving without so much of goodbye. “Bam take your jacket! Please call when you get to where you’re going! We love you!” April yelled into the snowy sunrise, watching as Bam wasted no time in zooming off in his Lamborghini.

~♡~♡~

The snow against his face felt like an attack from a million frozen little bees. Bam was warned by many flight attendants to be careful once they landed, Helsinki had just been hit with the worst snow storm of the season. The street lights illuminated the blowing snow like billions of frozen confetti pieces under a spotlight. Bam didn’t care, he needed to be in the arms of someone who understood about him better than anyone else. He trudged though the snow in his frozen sneakers, sinking deeper into self hatred as he thought about the parka he had basically thrown back in April’s face before leaving. Bam stopped and attempted to read the street signs; wishing he would’ve brushed up on his Finnish, he trekked on. His grey blazer was throughly soaked and caked with snow, ‘just make it to the hotel’ he thought.

Bam walked for what felt like hours in the storm, all of his exposed skin turning a bright shade of purplish red. How much further could it possibly be? He asked himself as he sat down on the stairs of a beautiful antique stone building to collect his thoughts. Bam knew he couldn’t sit for long, he was cold and only getting colder- he needed to get to that hotel. If only he had remembered his phone, he could’ve called Ville. If only he hadn’t of turned down the coat from his mom, he’d probably be further away from hypothermia. Maybe he did deserve to get cheated on, he was the worst boyfriend ever. Just like that, the all consuming negative thoughts came crashing down. Thoughts of giving up completely and retreating into a snow bank for a long nap crossed his mind. Bam didn’t even try to hold it back anymore, and let himself sob as the snow blasted all around him. The tears stung his cheeks, freezing before they could even complete their journey of rolling off of his chin.

“Bam? Bam is that you?!” Bam Instantly recognized the voice, and his swollen doe eyes squinted around to get a glimpse through the snow; nobody there. He put his head back into his hands and began to cry even harder, was he so crazy he was just hearing voices now?? Bam was a mess.

“Get up dummy! You’re gonna die out here!” Ville shouted out the window of a black Audi that had been hidden through the thick sheets of falling snow, and motioned for the crying skater to join him. Bam’s head shot up like a deer in head lights, and he slowly got up and waddled his way to the passenger side door. Ville studied the smaller mans movements with concern as he settled himself in the seat, his face was nearly blue and stained with frozen tears. The pair didn’t say a word to each other as Ville began to drive down the road, and the pent up negative energy in Bam was begging to be unleashed. Ville had been furious with Bam, searching and calling for hours with no answer had made every fibre in his body anxious. He didn’t expect to find his friend in this state, and really didn’t want to set him off any further.

Bam had locked his gaze out the side window, attempting to hide his pathetic break down from Ville. He softly wiped his cheek and sniffled quietly, the emotions working their way back up the poor mans throat. “Do.. do you wanna talk about what happened? You know you can tell me anything buddy.” Ville’s soft voice was nearly a whisper, hoping to chip away at the obvious walls Bam had put up around himself. “No!” The skater barked, “I just got off a 10 hour fucking flight, my fucking girlfriend is cheating on me, and i forgot my phone!” The hot tears began streaming down his face and he collapsed into his hands. Ville screeched the car to a stop and pulled to the side of the empty road, instinctively placing a hand on Bam’s knee to comfort him. “Am I a bad person? I.. I don’t know anymore.. Is this karma for being a bad person? Ville I’ve never been in so much pain in my life..” Ville’s eyes widened in shock, completely gobsmacked to discover these dark thoughts that Bam was having, it was so unlike him. “I need a drink. Take me to the drinks.” Bam’s voice was strangely monotone as he attempted to compose himself, his face almost fully thawed. Ville smiled softly and pulled back onto the road towards the hotel.

~♡~♡~

“Something strong that doesn’t taste like ass!” Bam yelled towards the bar as he trudged his way to the back, taking off and tossing his jacket deep into a booth. The waitresses all stopped and stared at Ville as he sheepishly walked up towards the bar, hoping he would clarify what his grumpy friend had shouted at them.

“Luckily, they were out of ass juice. I got us double vodka pineapples.” Ville smiled as he slid into the open end of the booth, sliding the glass over to the sulking skater. Bam grunted, meaning ‘thanks’, and chugged the entire glass and threw it across the bar sending broken glass shards everywhere. The entire bar got quiet, shattered glass littering the floor. “What?! Mind your own business you fucks!” Bam screamed at no in in particular, attempting to shimmy out of the booth. Panicked, Ville grabbed Bam’s hand and held him at the table. “Bam please, relax. We can drink as much as you want, as long as you don’t get us kicked out!” He chuckled as he looked Bam over with a mixture of worry and pity, and began softly rubbing his hand with his thumb.

A waitress brought over another round of drinks and shots, hoping that liquoring up the pair would calm the smaller one down. Bam instantly downed his drink and the shot like water, and slammed the glasses down on the table. He sighed for a moment and looked down at the contrast between his small hand in the large Finnish mitt. “Fuck me.” Bam declared, locking eyes with Ville. “What?!” The taller man choked, completely caught off guard. “I want you, to fuck me. Rail me into the headboard, break my fucking back- use me... please, i want to feel desirable to someone that cares about me..” The drunken desperation became more evident in every word, Ville sipped his drink and thought of how he could politely let his already hurt friend down gently. Bam didn’t appreciate this silence, and leaned over the table to get closer to Villes face. “Y’know..” He stuttered, “I’ve always wanted to know what it feels like to be came in..” Bam whispered just centimetres from Villes face, obnoxiously breathing in his scent.

Ville audibly swallowed his anxiety. “Bam you’re drunk, and you’re in pain.. We should just get you up to bed and safe.” Ville’s deep voice rattled as he worked up the courage to meet the pained blue eyes, still batting their eyelashes only inches from his face. “I think you’re just scared you’d fall in love with me..” Bam smirked and he threw himself back down in the booth. Ville was almost relived that the drunken flirting had ceased, he knew he would give in eventually if it was kept up. He took a few gulps of his drink until he felt fingers delicately walking up his thigh; and looked down to see Bam under the table eagerly looking up at him. Ville grabbed Bam’s hand and pulled him up to sit on his lap, deeply embarrassed of how Bam was behaving in such a nice place. “You don’t have to beg me baby, be careful what you wish for.. Now, get your ass upstairs.” Ville whispered into the crook of Bam’s neck, feeling him shiver with every word. Bam smiled and drunkenly hopped out of the booth and hobbled towards the door, “Charge 210 babe!” Ville followed the wobbly skater on his quest to the elevator and tried his hardest to contain a laugh; they were in room 417.

~♡~♡~

To be continued~

[welcometojackass2022]

What’s My Line Again? (Bam Margera x Reader x Brandon Novak) [Smut]

Based off a little daydream I’ve been having about having a threesome with Bam and Novak where I get to dominate them both at the same time. Everything before the smut is a little half assed if I’m being honest, but I wanted to put all my energy into the sex cuz that’s what we’re here for!

Description: You’re Bam’s girlfriend and a main cast member on Viva La Bam. The executives of the show decide that they want you, Bam, and Novak to come up with a subplot where you and Novak pretend to be attracted to each other and Bam gets jealous, as they think it will add drama to the show; what they don’t know is that you and Bam have been wanting to have a threesome with Novak for months now, and this new subplot has given you both the perfect excuse to pursue it.

Warnings: Smut, Cursing, Threesome Sex (Bam just watches for some of the sex scenes though), you dominate both of them at the same time,

“Of all the plot lines I expected them to come up with, me wanting to fuck Novak definitely wasn’t one of them.” You looked over the loose script that the Viva La Bam executives had given you; one of the pages was labeled the “Novak trying to fuck Bam’s girlfriend” subplot, and it came with a long, bulleted list describing all of the things you and Novak were going to be doing during the next episode to “flirt” with each other (suggestive looks, random compliments, sexual comments, and, eventually, full on touching each other). For one reason or another, the higher-ups were convinced that adding a subplot where Novak tried to steal you from Bam would somehow add extra drama to the show and bump up the ratings for the next episode. Whether this was true or not had yet to be seen, but one thing was for certain: neither you nor Bam were complaining.

You and Bam had both wanted to bring Novak into the bedroom for a threesome from the beginning of your relationship (you because Novak was cute and seemed like he’d be a good submissive, and Bam because Novak was his best friend and he wanted to see him get dominated by you), and this new subplot would be the perfect opportunity for the two of you to suggest it. For the show, Bam was going to be acting jealous when you and Novak flirted, but in reality, he’d already made several suggestions to you about how to flirt with Novak in a way that would genuinely turn Novak on. He wanted you to come up with the sexiest comments you could think of, give Novak bedroom eyes every time he looked at you, rub up against him as often as you could, anything to make it obvious to Novak that you weren’t acting and actually wanted to fuck him.

Bam looked up at you from the floor, where he’d been sorting through his collection of CDs. “Yeah, well, I may have suggested the idea a couple of times at the last meeting. I didn’t think they’d actually go for it but hey, I’m not complaining.” You grinned. “Neither am I. You think Novak will actually be down for it, though? You said before that when you dated Jenn you asked Novak to join in and he wouldn’t do it.” Bam grimaced. “Jenn was a different story. I think he was weirded out by it cuz him and her weren’t all that close, but he likes you pretty well so I think he’ll go for it this time, especially once he knows I’m into it.” You nodded, looking back over the paper. “I hope so. You know you’re gonna have to sit and watch for most of it, right?” Bam got the look on his face that he always got when he was about to whine, and you flashed him a warning look. “No whining, Bam. You’ve been bad all week, so to punish you, you’re gonna sit and watch while I fuck Novak and tell you what a bratty little bitch you are.”

Bam’s face went red, and he subtly turned his body away from you. You smirked. “You just got hard, didn’t you?” He sheepishly nodded, and you grinned. “Aw, poor thing. Come here, I’ll give you a little reward to make up for all the punishment you’re gonna be getting tomorrow after we’re done filming.” The plan was for the two of you to bring Novak up to Bam’s bedroom after filming was over to “ask him a question.” Once he was up there, the two of you would make the proposal, and if he agreed, then you’d have the threesome on Bam’s bed, with Bam sitting and watching from a few feet away for most of it. If he said no…well, okay, the two of you hadn’t thought too much about that, but you were sure that you and Bam could just laugh it off and apologize if Novak really wasn’t into it. Bam grinned eagerly and got up, walking towards you and letting you pull him into your lap so his hard cock was pressing against your thigh through his boxers. “Once I’ve made you cum in your pants, we can start figuring out what all we want to do tomorrow.”

The next morning, Bam’s little friend group piled into the living room, the Viva La Bam camera crew showing up shortly afterwards. The show wasn’t entirely scripted, meaning you and Novak and Bam could all come up with your own lines, but there were certain things that all three of you were expected to do in order to progress the plot; you and Novak would flirt, gradually getting more and more blatant as the show went on (there would be a different plot line going on as this happened) until Bam would finally notice and get “jealous”. After that, Bam would challenge Novak to a competition where the winner would get to date you (it would be a pretty standard contest for the show, with the two boys racing to finish as many stunts and/or pranks as possible until one of them eventually backed out). If Novak won, then you would end up apologizing to him and admitting that you loved Bam too much to ever actually cheat on him with Novak. Bam would rub it in Novak’s face, you’d kiss him, episode over.

Filming began, and you and the boys all gathered around the kitchen table; Bam stood at the head of the table, ready to go over all of the cool shit that him and the group were going to be doing that day. As he spoke, you and Novak instantly went into the prerehearsed flirting; Novak looked you up and down suggestively as Bam spoke, and you occasionally looked over at him, smiling flirtatiously as if you were flustered that he was paying attention to you. You made sure to play it up for the camera, twirling a lock of hair around your finger and casually pulling your shirt down to expose your cleavage. Bam pretended not to notice the attention just yet; that would come later. He finished talking, and all of you piled into his car to go into town and cause trouble. As you walked down the sidewalk, you and Novak intentionally walked a few feet behind the rest of the group, with Novak cracking jokes and you giggling at all of them as if he was the funniest person alive. Bam looked back in confusion and told the two of you to keep up, but he pretended as if he still hadn’t picked up on the flirting.

Eventually, the group ducked into a restaurant for lunch, and Novak intentionally sat between you and Bam, scooting his chair closer so it was only a few inches away from you and his thigh was nearly touching yours. Bam once again looked confused, and this time a little annoyed, but he brushed it off and went back to talking to Raab. When the cameramen panned away to focus on Raab and Bam (who were discussing the plan for a prank they were going to pull on April), you and Novak exchanged a look. It was just about time for the two of you to turn things up a notch until Bam finally noticed flirting; Novak grinned knowingly at you and moved even closer, his thigh now pressed right up against yours. “You know, (Y/n), you look really pretty today. That dress looks so sexy on you.” You smirked. “Why thank you, Novak. Those jeans are pretty tight, I can almost see your junk through them.”

Bam stopped his conversation with Raab to look back at the two of you, a suspicious look on his face as he listened in on your exchange. “Of course you’d be staring at my junk.” You grinned. “Oh whatever, don’t act like you haven’t been staring at my tits all day.” Novak started to respond, but you pretended to notice something in his hair. “Hold on, you’ve got something stuck in your hair.” You leaned forward and ran your fingers through his hair, pretending to pick something out of it, and the two of you made intense eye contact, with Novak suddenly leaning forward as if he was about to kiss you. At this point, Bam finally “snapped”, getting up from his seat and shoving Novak out of his chair. “What the fuck, dude? Who do you think you are, trying to fuck my girlfriend like that?” Novak rubbed his sore back and glared at Bam from the floor. “I think your girlfriend’s trying to fuck me, actually.”

Bam acted like he was about to punch Novak in the face, and you dramatically broke the two of them up. “Boys, don’t fucking fight in public like this, there’s better ways to settle this.” Bam rolled his eyes and backed away, allowing Novak to get up from the floor. “You’re right, there is. Novak, you and I are gonna have a little competition. We’re each gonna get a list of gross tasks that we have to complete. The first one to back out of a task loses. The winner gets to keep my girlfriend.” You frowned. “Great, I’m a trophy.” The two men ignored you, and Novak nodded. “Yeah alright, you’re on.” Him and Bam shook hands, and then Bam motioned for everyone to leave. “Let’s head back to the house so Ape and Phil can get the tasks ready.” Everyone piled out the door, getting back into Bam’s car for a tense ride home.

Back at the house, April and Phil reluctantly agreed to host the competition. Novak and Bam each picked a teammate (Bam took Raab, Novak took Dico) and left the house with a walkie talkie to communicate with April and Phil through; April would give them each a task, they’d complete it, and then the teammate would verify that they did it and they’d be given their next task. The first person to back out of a task would lose. You sat beside April and Phil, anxiously listening as each of the two men would periodically report in to get a new task. After about an hour, Bam finally backed out when he was given the task of licking Don Vito’s taint (you’d seen that task on the list earlier and immediately knew Bam would back out of it if he got it), and the two men returned home so Novak could celebrate his win.

Novak went to hug you, but you did exactly what you’d scripted; you pulled back, shook your head, and smiled apologetically. “Sorry, Novak, but I’ve thought about it and I’ve decided I’m gonna stick with Bam. You’re a great guy, but Bam’s always gonna be my number one.” Bam cheered and rushed over to stick his middle finger in Novak’s face before pulling you in for a hug and a victory make out session, which you gladly reciprocated. Everyone else laughed, and you turned back to Novak with a grin. “Would it make it up to you if Bam and I had a threesome with you?” Novak perked up. “For real? Fuck yeah, let’s go!” You, him and Bam all rushed up the stairs, the rest of the friend group following behind and begging to be included, and everyone laughed. “Cut! That’s a wrap, great job guys. We’ll start editing the footage tomorrow but that should be all we need for today.” The group walked back down the stairs, everyone high-fiving each other and talking about how this was probably the best episode yet.

After a few moments, Ryan suggested that everyone go out to a bar, and Dico and Raab headed for the door. You and Bam declined, Bam giving the guys some money for beer, and then you casually asked Novak if he would stay back so you and Bam could ask him something. He agreed, and you waited for the other boys to leave before you and Bam led Novak up the stairs towards Bam’s bedroom. You stopped in front of the door, exchanging a nervous look with Bam, and Novak shuffled his feet awkwardly as he stood there with the two of you. “So, uh..what did you guys wanna ask me?” You looked at Bam again, anxiously biting your lip, and then you spoke. “Right. I guess we should just come right out and say it to get it over with…Bam and I want to have a threesome with you.” Novak stared at you blankly as if he hadn’t heard what you said.

“What?” You side-eyed Bam again and cleared your throat. “Uh…yeah, Bam and I wanted to ask you if you’d be willing to have a threesome with us. Like right now. On Bam’s bed.” Novak looked shocked, but not necessarily opposed to what you were saying, which was somewhat reassuring to see. “You guys wanna fuck me?” You nodded. “Well technically, I’d be fucking you while Bam watches, but yeah, that’s the general gist.” Novak stood there for a moment, thinking over your proposal in his head. “Yeah, alright!” You stared at him, surprised. “Wait, really? Just like that?” Novak nodded, an eager look on his face. “Yeah, are you kidding? You’re into that femdom stuff, right? Like, you’ll be dominating me and all that stuff?” You nodded, exchanging an excited look with Bam. “Yes, that’s right!” Novak opened the door to Bam’s bedroom. “That’s all I need to hear, man. To be honest, I’ve wanted you to dominate me since Bam told me that you guys were into all that kinky shit.” You followed him into Bam’s bedroom, amazed at how well this was going; Bam shot you a look of anticipation as he walked in, and you quickly shut the door to his bedroom.

As soon as the three of you had entered the room, you started giving orders. “Bam, go sit in that chair over there so you can watch. Don’t touch yourself at any point during this or you won’t be allowed to cum for a week. Understand?” Bam mumbled a protest but begrudgingly walked over and sat in the chair as he’d been told. You turned back to Novak, immediately switching to a softer tone. “Are you gonna be a good boy for me, baby? Will you do whatever I tell you to?” Novak nodded eagerly, clearly willing to do whatever it took to please you, and you felt a tingle of excitement; Bam’s brattiness was fun, but it was nice to get to play with a more obedient boy from time to time. “Good. Get those tight clothes off for me and then lay down on your back on the bed and we’ll get started.” Novak hurriedly began peeling off his tight jeans and t-shirt, stumbling over his feet from how quickly he rushed to do as you’d asked.

His half-hard cock fell out as soon as he’d pulled his jeans down (Novak had never once worn underwear in the three years that you’d known him), and you smiled. Novak’s naked body was nothing new to you, given how shameless he was when it came to randomly taking his clothes off in front of everyone, but this was the first time you’d really noticed how gorgeous his body was. He laid on his back on top of Bam’s comforter, his cock hardening against his leg as he waited for you to approach him. You walked over to him and leaned down to stroke his hair, smiling adoringly at him. “Such a good boy, doing exactly as I ask. Take notes, Bam.” Bam rolled his eyes. “You’re not gonna fuck him with your clothes on, are you?” You grinned. “I’m getting there, babe, be patient.” You pulled away from Novak to take off your tight pants and your tank top, laughing at the eager look on Novak’s face. “Wanna take my bra off?”

Novak nodded quickly, his fingers fumbling for the clasp of your bra, and he clumsily unhooked it and pushed the straps down your shoulders; you tossed the bra aside and grinned at the look of awe on Novak’s face as he stared at your bare breasts. “Wanna touch them?” He nodded. “Yes please.” You smiled, pulling his hands up to let him squeeze at your breasts, and you looked over at Bam smugly. “You’d get to do this more often if you were obedient, you know.” Bam rolled his eyes. “Shut up.” You turned your attention back to Novak, eyes drifting down to his exposed cock, which was now hard and heavy against his belly. You drifted the tip of your finger down his chest and tummy, grinning when you felt his muscles tense up at the contact, and stopped when you reached the base of his cock, gently wrapping your hand around his shaft as you examined his dick. “You’ve got the prettiest cock, Novak.”

Novak flushed at the praise, and you heard Bam scoff from across the room. You looked up; he was staring at Novak’s cock with a jealous look on his face, which he quickly wiped away when he saw that you were looking. You smirked, deciding to push him a little further. “Fat, heavy balls, too. I bet you blow the biggest loads, don’t you? You gonna blow a nice big load for me tonight, Novak? Maybe I’ll let you blow it inside my pussy, if you’re a good boy for me. You’re gonna be a good boy for me, right?” Novak’s eyes widened at the mere suggestion that he would get to cum inside you, and his hips bucked up slightly as your fingers rubbed over his ballsack. “Fuck, fuck, yes ma’am. I’ll do anything you ask, (Y/n), just please touch my cock.” You smiled sweetly. “Such good manners! You could learn from this, Bam.”You didn’t have to look over at him to know that Bam was practically fuming from his chair.

You rubbed your finger over the tip of Novak’s cock, watching his heavily tattooed belly tighten up as he moaned under his breath. “You like that, baby?” You leaned down to spit on the head of his dick, pumping your hand up and down his shaft to slick it up, smirking at the breathy moan that left Novak’s mouth when your fingers slipped over his tip. You jerked your fist up and down the length of his cock, watching him get impossibly hard under your touch, and smiled at his reaction; his head was tilted back, his eyes squeezed tightly shut and his mouth open slightly. “You want me to suck your cute little cock, baby? Want me to put my mouth on it?” Novak’s eyes snapped open, and he nodded excitedly. “Yes please!” Bam huffed, and you looked over at him. “Problem, Bam?” He crossed his arms and looked away. “How come he doesn’t have to beg for a blowjob? You always make me beg for it.”

You absentmindedly ran your fingers up Novak’s chest and over his nipples as you stared at Bam with a smug look on your face. “Novak doesn’t have to beg for it because he’s been good for me so far. You’re a disobedient little brat who whines and complains about everything and expects to get whatever he wants without having to work for it, so you have to beg for the privilege of having your pathetic little cock sucked. Novak does not.” Bam was still looking away like a petulant child, but you could see his obvious arousal through his tight jeans. You smirked at his lack of a rebuttal and turned back to Novak’s cock, which was bright red and throbbing in your hand. You leaned down so your mouth was inches away from it, licking a stripe up his belly to build up anticipation before you got to the main event; his belly jerked, and you smiled, rewarding the movement by licking a long stripe up the underside of his shaft.

Novak’s eyes practically rolled back in his head, his hips jutting upwards as his fingers instantly tangled in your hair. Bam huffed again (you never let him grab at your hair during blowjobs), but you merely ignored him and continued on, pulling the head of Novak’s cock into your mouth and gently suckling on the tip. You swirled your tongue around his shaft, letting your saliva drip down to coat the rest of his cock as you jerked off the part of his cock that wasn’t in your mouth. You held his hips down, lightly pressing them against the bed so he wouldn’t choke you. You could taste the precum forming on his tip, and you pulled your mouth off his cock to lap up the drops from his slit. He hissed slightly at the sensation, and you smiled, looking up at him as your tongue flicked over his tip again. “Does that feel good, baby? You like how my tongue feels on your cock?” Novak nodded weakly, eyes still squeezed shut from the pleasure. “Yes, ma’am, it feels so fucking good.”

You glanced over at Bam to see what he was doing; his eyes were locked on your hand, which was still pumping Novak’s cock, and you could see that he was subtly rutting himself against his tight jeans, trying to relieve some of the pressure of his erection without you noticing. You smirked. As jealous as Bam could get, you knew that he secretly loved watching you dominate other men, and the fact that the man you were dominating was his best friend of over a decade only seemed to add to his enjoyment of the situation. On any other occasion, you would have immediately called Bam out for rutting (it was pretty close to masturbation, which you’d specifically told him not to do), but you were in a good mood, and you knew you could use his actions in your own favor to make the situation even more arousing. You reached over and gently grabbed Novak by the chin, stroking his face as you cooed at him. “Open your eyes, baby. I know it feels good, but I need you to look at something for me, okay?”

Novak obediently opened his eyes, looking slightly dazed from the pleasure he was feeling, and you gently turned his head so he could see Bam. “Do you see Bam? Can you see how hard his poor little cock is right now?” Novak nodded, and Bam’s face went red. You grinned and continued, taking on a sickly sweet tone as you feigned sympathy for your boyfriend. “Isn’t that pathetic? Look at him, getting off on seeing his girlfriend and his best friend go at it. Imagine if his fans knew that their hero was a pathetic little cuck who gets so turned on by watching his girlfriend suck his friend’s dick that he starts rutting his tiny little cock against his own jeans like a desperate whore. Maybe I should have mercy on him and let him touch himself for a little bit, what do you say, Novak?” Bam perked up, a hopeful look on his face as he waited for Novak’s reply. Novak stared at Bam’s erection, eyes still glazed over from how good your hand felt on his cock. “Yes, ma’am.”

You smiled. “Yes? You think I should let him?” Novak nodded, and you released your grip on his chin and looked over at Bam with a smug grin. “Did you hear that, Bam? Novak just said I should let you touch yourself for a little bit. Isn’t that nice of him? What do you say to Novak?” Bam’s face was still red, but he was clearly excited to get to touch himself, so he did what you wanted without protest. “Thank you, Novak.” You raised your eyebrows. “Be specific.” Bam looked like he wanted to protest, but then he decided against it, not wanting you to take away the privilege you’d just granted him. “Thank you for letting me touch myself, Novak.” You smiled. “Good boy. Alright, take your cock out.” Bam obeyed, eagerly pulling his zipper down and unbuttoning his pants before reaching in and pulling his cock out, the tip already bright red leaking precum from how horny he was. “Aw, I forgot how pretty your little cock is, Bam.” Bam flushed at the praise.

He started to tug on his cock, smearing his own precum over the head of his cock with the pad of his thumb as he waited for you to continue giving Novak a blowjob. You grinned evilly, deciding it was finally time to reveal the catch. “Remember, I said you can touch yourself, I didn’t say you can cum. You’re going to edge yourself for as long as I tell you to, understand?” Bam’s eyes widened in horror, and his mouth fell open in protest. “What? (Y/n), that’s not fair–” You cut him off. “Would you rather not get to touch yourself at all?” Bam immediately shut his mouth, knowing better than to continue complaining, and started pumping his cock again, though with noticeably less enthusiasm than before. You could feel Novak’s hips starting to jerk up again, and you turned back to him with a soft look. “I’m sorry, baby, have I been neglecting you? I just had to put Bam back in his place, he can be so bratty sometimes. Now, I have a choice for you to make. I can either finish the blowjob, or I can let you fuck my pussy.”

Novak’s eyes went as wide as saucers, and his cock twitched as he thought over the possibility of him getting to fuck you and (if he was good) maybe even cum inside you. “Fuck, please let me fuck your pussy, (Y/n), I’ve been such a good boy for you so far, I want to feel your pussy around my dick so bad.” You nodded, pleased at how eagerly he’d begged without having to be told. “You have been a good boy, haven’t you? Alright, let me get my pants off.” You got up from the bed, taking your hand off of Novak’s cock long enough to pull your pants halfway down your legs and kick them to the floor; Novak whined softly at the loss of contact, and you smiled apologetically as you took your panties off and tossed them aside. Novak’s eyes instantly drifted down to your exposed pussy, and he stared longingly at it as you walked towards him, climbing up onto the bed to straddle his waist as you wrapped your hand around the base of his cock and gently lined it up with your dripping pussy.

You looked over at Bam, who was steadily jerking his cock as he eyed your pussy hungrily. You used one arm to steady yourself as you slowly sank down onto Novak’s cock, feeling his tip stretch your entrance out, and Bam choked back a moan and let go of his cock to stop himself from cumming. Novak instantly threw his head back and moaned loudly at the sensation of your tight pussy around his cock, his hands going up to grab at your hips, and you gently shushed him, sliding all the way down on his cock before quickly pulling yourself all the way back up. You teased the tip of his cock, rubbing your wet folds over it to build up anticipation before slamming yourself all the way back down again; Novak’s mouth fell open, and he whined loudly, bucking his hips up in a feeble attempt to get his cock deeper inside you. A quick glance at Bam revealed that he’d gone back to stroking his cock, his eyes locked on your pussy as Novak’s dick disappeared inside it. Another idea came to your mind, and you smiled.

“Novak, baby, do you want to get on top? You wanna try fucking my pussy yourself, baby?” Novak shot up to rest on his elbows, staring at you with a look of pure excitement. “Can I?” You smiled. “Of course, baby. Here, switch with me.” You gently crawled off of him and laid on your back, spreading your legs to let Novak sit comfortably between them. He nervously lined his cock up with your pussy, one of his hands resting on your hip for balance, and slowly pushed in, eyes rolling back at the sensation. His thrusts were somewhat clumsy at first, but soon enough he began to develop a good pace, and you looked up at him in surprise. You weren’t used to having a sub who could actually fuck on top; Bam was famously terrible at it, and you only made him do it as a punishment. You wrapped your legs around Novak and placed your hands on his bare back, pushing him down so his chest was pressed up against yours and his face was buried in your neck as he thrust his cock inside you.

He pressed his lips against your neck, kissing the crease between your neck and your jawline as he whimpered and moaned into your ear. “Am I doing a good job, ma’am?” He thrust into you again, stretching you out in a way that made you tighten your legs around him from the pleasure, and you nodded, rubbing your hands up his back encouragingly. “Yes, baby, you’re doing so good.” You glanced over at Bam, who was still touching himself with a slightly jealous look on his face, and you realized why he looked so upset; he knew Novak was better at fucking than he was. You smirked, knowing exactly how to turn this into a moment of humiliation for Bam, and you lightly dug your nails into Novak’s back, exaggerating just a little bit to piss Bam off. “Fuck, Novak, you’re incredible at this! I don’t think I’ve ever been fucked this good in my life.” Novak’s face lit up at the praise, and he quickened his pace. “Not even by Bam?” You looked over at Bam.

His face was red with pure embarrassment, the look on his face telling you he knew exactly what you were about to say. “No, Bam’s always been horrible at this. His poor little cock is too small to do anything, and his thrusts are too sloppy, and he always cums way too quickly. Isn’t that right, Bam?” Bam’s grip on his own cock tightened, your humiliating words clearly turning him on even more than he already was, and he nodded. Novak looked surprised by your words, but the fact that he was evidently giving you the best fuck you’d ever had only spurred him on even more, and he shifted his hips to a different angle and continued to thrust with as much energy as he could muster. You could feel his hips stutter every now and then, a sign that he was getting closer and closer to cumming, and you hugged him closer to you and tightened up around his cock. “You gonna cum soon, baby?”

Novak shook his head, his face still buried in your neck. “I don’t wanna cum until you do, ma’am.” You smiled at the sweet gesture, but shook your head and rubbed your hands up his back comfortingly. “Don’t worry about that, Novak, Bam will be taking care of that after you finish up. Just focus on cumming, you deserve it for being such a good boy.” Bam perked up; it was the first indication you’d made that he was gonna get to participate in some way. Novak’s hips started to stutter again, his pace getting just a little sloppy, and you knew he was barely keeping it together. “You gonna cum for me, baby? You gonna cum a nice, big load for me? Fill my pussy with your cum, baby, don’t be shy.” Novak’s hips jerked one more time, and then he came, his teeth biting down on the soft skin of your neck and his body instantly relaxing on top of yours as he filled your pussy with his load. Bam moaned loudly from across the room, and you glanced over at him; he’d let go of his cock again to avoid cumming from the sight of Novak finishing inside you.

Novak laid his head against your shoulder, his breathing slowing down as he came down from the high of his orgasm, and then he pulled away with a guilty look on his face. “Sorry for biting you on the neck, it just felt so good that I didn’t think about it.” You smiled, cupping his face in your hands and gently stroking his hair. “Don’t feel bad, sweetie, it was kind of hot. You did such a good job for me, was this your first time being dominated?” He nodded, blushing at the praise, and leaned down to pick up his jeans from the floor. You stopped him and shook your head, patting the empty side of the bed next to you. “Don’t get up just yet, you’ll miss the finale.” He knit his eyebrows in confusion but obediently let go of his clothing and sat down beside you on the bed. “The finale?” You smirked and nodded, turning to look at Bam, who was holding the base of his shaft to keep himself from cumming. He stared back at you, slightly nervous as to what you had in mind, and you beckoned him over.

“Tuck your little cock back into your pants and get over here, Bam, I’ve got something for you to do.” Bam eagerly tucked his cock back in and zipped his pants up, getting up from his chair to stand beside the bed, ready to follow your orders. You leaned back against the pillows of the bed and spread your legs out, revealing your wet pussy–which was currently dripping with Novak’s cum. “Novak was nice enough to leave a little mess for you to clean up! Climb up on the bed and get to work. Do a good enough job and maybe I’ll let you cum.” Novak choked back a startled laugh, and Bam stared down at your dripping pussy with an indecisive look. On one hand, he loved eating your pussy. On the other, he’d never eaten another man’s cum before, especially not from your pussy. Then again, it couldn’t be that bad, especially since he’d tasted his own cum in the past, and there was a chance that you were gonna let him cum. After another moment of consideration, Bam sighed, climbed up onto the bed, and situated himself between your legs, wrapping your thighs around his face.

He went to lick at your pussy, but you stopped him with a smug little smile. “Don’t forget to clean the mess on my thighs, first.” Some of Novak’s cum had dripped down your thighs; Bam rolled his eyes but obeyed, licking up the cum from your inner thighs and grimacing slightly at the salty taste. When he finished, you tangled your fingers in his hair and pushed his face down towards your pussy, signaling for him to move on. Bam leaned down and pressed his lips against your clit, looking up at you for approval before continuing on. He lapped at your pussy, licking up some of the cum that was dripping from it, and you softened your grip on his hair, running your fingers through it as you mumbled gentle words of praise. “There you go, baby, lick it all up. Get it nice and clean for me, that’s it. Keep doing it like that and you just might make me cum.” Bam’s enthusiasm seemed to increase with your words; Bam loved making you cum, partially because he loved pleasing you and partially because knowing he made you cum increased his self esteem.

Bam sank his fingers into your soft thighs, letting you tighten your legs around his shoulders and neck to bring his face closer to your pussy. Once he’d cleaned up Novak’s cum, he eagerly started eating you out, focusing most of his attention on your clit and bringing up his free hand to finger you in an attempt to bring you closer to orgasm. You smiled fondly at him; he always looked so pretty when he was eating pussy, especially when he got all desperate and started eating it like a starved beggar. You could tell you were close, so you pushed Bam’s head even farther down and started bucking up against him, feeling his tongue slide over your clitoris over and over again as he sucked and licked on your pussy. “Fuck, I’m close baby…you wanna cum tonight?” Bam nodded eagerly, not taking his face away from your crotch, and you grinned. “Alright, I’ll let you cum, but you can’t use your hands. You’ll have to hump against the bedsheets until you cum in your pants, okay?” Bam merely nodded again; it wasn’t his favorite way to cum, but it was still an orgasm.

He started rutting himself against the bedsheets underneath him, his hips jerking wildly as he continued eating you out. You could hear small, desperate moans escaping from his lips, muffled only slightly by the fact that his face was still pressed against your pussy. As you got closer to orgasm, your thighs started twitching, wrapping around Bam’s neck tight enough to choke him as you bucked your hips against his face, moaning loudly as you came. You rode out your orgasm, letting go of Bam’s hair and removing your legs from around his neck as he lapped up the juices from between your legs, and then his hips jerked once again and he came too, his hands fisting at the bedsheets and his mouth falling open as he came in his jeans. The two of you laid there for a moment, soaking in the feeling of your orgasms, and then Bam slowly got up, his face scrunching up in disgust at the feeling of cum in his boxers.

You sat up and pulled him into your lap, letting him rest his head against your neck as you stroked his hair and whispered softly in his ear. “You did such a good job, baby, watching me and Novak for all of that and edging yourself like I asked. Are you okay? Did I hurt your neck?” Bam shook his head, leaning against you with an exhausted look on his face. “No, I’m all good. These pants feel disgusting though, I need to get them off as soon as possible.” You smiled and looked him over; there were traces of Novak’s cum on the corners of his lips, and the front of his jeans were wet from where he’d just blew a load in them. “Poor baby. Here, come with me to the bathroom so we can get a warm bath before bed.” You turned to ask Novak if he wanted one too, but to your surprise, he’d already passed out on the bed at some point in the last few minutes. Bam laughed tiredly. “That bastard can never keep his eyes open for long after he cums. Come on, it’ll just be you and me.” You led him to the bath tub, helping him peel off his t shirt and messy jeans and pulling his sticky boxers off of his legs.

You tossed the clothes aside to wash later and drew up a warm bath, helping Bam in and then sitting down behind him with his back against your chest and your arms around his waist. He leaned his head back against your chest, looking up at you with a tired but happy smile. “That was pretty incredible.” You laughed, stroking his hair affectionately. “It sure was. We should have tried bringing Novak in sooner, he’s a natural at being dominated.” Bam nodded in agreement, but then his smile faded a little bit. “I’m sorry I’m so bad at fucking. If you want, you can start having one on one time with Novak, I don’t mind. Just to make up for the fact that I can’t fuck you as well as he can.” You hugged him close to you, kissing the sweet spot on his neck and shaking your head. “Hey, don’t say that, baby, there’s nothing to be sorry for. Novak may be good on top, but he’s nothing compared to you when it comes to being on the bottom, riding you is my favorite thing.”

Bam flushed at the praise, picking up a wash cloth to clean the cum off his thighs. “Okay, good. I didn’t actually want you to fuck Novak alone, I just said that to make you happy.” You laughed. “Don’t worry, babe, Novak’s fun for a threesome, but if I need one on one time, you’re always number one on my list. You know I just said that stuff as part of the sex, right? I didn’t mean any of it. I’ll tone it down next time.” Bam shook his head, craning his neck back to make eye contact with you as he washed himself off. “No, don’t tone it down, it did turn me on. I think it turned Novak on too, every time you talked about how much better at sex he was than me it looked like he was gonna blow a load right then and there.” You grinned, taking the washcloth from Bam to wash him off yourself. “I noticed, he definitely likes having his ego stroked. Maybe next time we’ll switch, and I’ll fuck you while telling Novak how much better you are to ride than he is.” Bam grinned. “That sounds like a fucking dream.”

[welcometojackass2022]

Drool (Sub!Brandon Novak x Reader Smut Drabble) [Dumbification]

@chasingwinehouse consider this an appetizer <3

Warnings: Female reader, sub Novak, dumbification, dirty talk and degradation, slight pain play (cock related), finger sucking and oral fixation plus drooling

@asskickedbygirl tagging you in everything as usual

Novak’s sitting on his knees in front of you with his hands behind his back to keep from touching his pathetically hard cock as it lays against his thigh, red and sore and dripping with precum as he stares up at you with those big, dumb, whorish eyes of his. He’s been completely stripped naked; stupid little sluts like Novak don’t need clothing, because it’ll just end up being ripped off of them anyway. He looks so pathetic, so desperate, so dependent on you that you can hardly believe he’s the same man who always claimed to be such a sex god, a ladies man, a promiscuous womanizer who doesn’t catch feelings and doesn’t play hard to get because he can get any girl he wants. And yet, here he is now. Down on his knees for you, totally dumb and slutty for you, utterly obedient only to you as he waits for you give him orders.

“Aw, baby, your poor little cock must be so sore right now, look how hard and red it is for me.” He looks up at you with that same stupidly wide-eyed look, like he’s hoping you’ll have mercy on him and touch his aching cock, and he eagerly nods. “It hurts so much, mistress, please touch my cock.” You smile, stepping a little closer to him and tangling your fingers in his hair to yank his head back, his eyes widening as he stares up at you with a mix of need and fear, his lips slightly agape like he’s begging you to stick something in his dumb, greedy little mouth for him to suck on. “Touch your cock? Oh, you poor, stupid, needy little slutty. What a dumb thing to say. You know good and well that you haven’t done anything to deserve my touch.” The softest of whines leaves his mouth, and it makes your pussy throb.

God, he sounds so fucking pathetic. His tiny little cock twitches against his thigh, a steady stream of precum leaking from his tip as he stares up at you with a slightly dazed expression. “I’m sorry, ma’am.” You smile again, softening your grip on his hair and petting his head affectionately. “It’s okay, sweetie, I know it must be so hard to think properly with that tiny little brain of yours, your head must be so foggy right now. Maybe you just need something to suck on, that’ll help you focus. You wanna suck on my fingers, slut?” He nods eagerly, and you quickly shove your fingers into his waiting mouth, not even bothering to prepare him. Dumb little sluts don’t need preparation. They just take whatever you give them whenever you tell them to. He closes his eyes in pure bliss as he sucks your fingers, coating them in saliva and moaning softly on the digits with pleasure.

You shake your head in slight disbelief. “God, what a dumb little slut. Not a single thought in that head of yours, is there? You just do whatever I tell you to without question. Look at you, moaning on my fingers like a little whore. I bet you don’t even have a brain, do you? That pathetic little cock tells you what to do.” You move down to your knees so you’re at his level, fingers still in his mouth as he looks at you with those desperate, whorish, empty eyes. His only thoughts are on sucking your fingers and getting his little cock off. Speaking of his little cock, the poor little thing looks like it’s gonna pop, and you can tell he’s just barely bucking his hips in a desperate attempt to get some friction. You take it into your hand, and almost immediately he whines on your fingers, drool spilling from his lips mindlessly as the little cock throbs in your hand. You laugh. “Sweet little baby. You really want me to touch you, don’t you? How’s this for touch?” You hold it firmly by the base with one hand and smack it with the other, a slightly pained yelp leaving his mouth as he accidentally lets your fingers slip from his lips.

“Bad boy, I didn’t tell you to stop. Such a dumb little whore, you get the tiniest bit of touch and you can’t even remember to do what I tell you to.” You stick your fingers back in his mouth, admiring how his face looks with drool smeared all over his lips and chin, his cheeks red with a mix of shame and mindlessness. His cock is rapidly twitching now, so unbearably close, so agonizingly hard, and you feel a pang of pity for him. He’s just your slutty, brainless little servant, completely at your mercy. Can’t even think for himself. “You want to cum, baby? You wanna blow your little load all over yourself like the stupid little whore you are?” He nods desperately, jerking his hips and whining on your fingers, and you yank them from his mouth. “Beg for it then.” Novak stares up at you with that same pathetically stupid gaze, like he’s forgotten how to speak, and he frantically tries to search for the right words. “Please, mistress…let me blow my…blow my pathetic little load. I need it…need it so fucking bad…I’m just your stupid little slut, mistress, I only want to do…what you tell me to.” You smile mercifully. “Good. Cum.”

You slap his cock again, slightly harder than before, and he cums instantly, blowing his load all over his own chest and tummy and inner thighs as drool leaks from his mouth and his eyes nearly roll back in his head, a loud, desperate, stupidly wanton moan leaving his mouth as he reaches one of his hands out to hold yours. Poor baby can’t live without your touch. You affectionately take his hand in yours, holding it supportively as you watch him shoot hot ropes of cum all over himself uncontrollably, and then finally it’s over and he collapses onto his back exhaustedly, eyes half-lidded and breathing heavy and face red and pathetic little cock sore and empty against his leg from being milked dry. You lean over him, rubbing his face soothingly and leaning down to kiss his drool-covered lips. “My baby.” Novak smiles up at you dumbly. He likes the name. You move to clean him up, but he stops you and shakes his head. “Leave it for a little bit, please.” He just wants to lay there for a moment, covered in his own cum, totally at your mercy. Your dumb little whore.

[bambimargera]

Vacation Babysitter (NSFW) Dico x Novak

No one trusts Novak alone in the house while the rest of the crew are out traveling, so Dico is appointed honorary babysitter.

Contains: Aggression, Dirty and Inappropriate talking, Blowjobs/Throat fucking, Consensual forcefulness, Water

'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'

“Just because ‘Boy Wonder’ says you have to babysit me, doesn’t mean you have to follow me from room to room, jackass.” Novak grunted, crossing his arms to turn in the door frame of the bathroom.

“I know, but I’m getting paid either way so I might as well get his money’s worth.” Dico snickered, playfully shoving the shorter man’s arm sending him tumbling backwards into the bathtub.

“Woah Novak, holy shit! You made of fuckin feathers?!” Dico yelled, baffled at what little effort it took to send Novak flying.

Dico stepped closer into the bathroom and the pair stared at each other in silence for a moment, before erupting into big dumb chuckles. “You look so pathetic like that” He sneered, looking over the sprawled-out addict in the tub.

“Well take a picture it’ll last longer.” Novak scoffed, attempting to lift himself from the awkward position. He put his hand against the slick wall, only for it to slip off and land bottom on the tub with a loud screeching thud. “Shut your fuckin mouth.” He growled, unsuccessfully cutting off Dico’s laugh.

Dico approached the bathtub and towered over the tub-thumping dirtbag. “You’re pretty defenceless, aren’t you buddy?” He smirked, lowering his voice to a dark tone Novak had never heard before- it scared him a little. Novak chuckled anxiously up to meet the other man’s eyes, “Looks like it, you’re loving this aren’t you?”

“Not yet.” Dico beamed, turning on the cold water to shower down at the unexpected man. “Now I am.”

Novak yelped out a high pitch scream and flailed around in the tub until it was slowly turned off. “You look like a drowned rat.” The dark-haired man’s smirk widened into a smile as he held the shower head above the nervous blonde. He waited until Novak’s eyes met his before turning on the water again and laughed maniacally at the mans pathetic whines. Shutting it off again, he snapped his fingers to get Novak’s attention. “You’re getting the bathtub filthy from your sick clothes, take your shirt off.” Dico demanded, impatiently snapping and pointing.

Novak smiled and winked at Dico, confident that he was just bluffing. “Easy killer.. buy me a drink first at least.” He chuckled, wiping the water drops from his brow. -Blast- The freezing water hit him hard and fast. “Did you think I was fucking joking? Take off your filthy clothes you dirtbag.” Dico insisted again, cocking an eyebrow in such agitation it almost seemed to say, ‘do not fuck with me’. Novak yelped out again, high pitched and out of breath- it was almost impossible not imagining he’d sound the same while getting absolutely railed... Dico couldn’t rid his mind of the thought of it. Novak’s small body twisted around showcasing his tiny waist, Dico needed him now. He slowly turned off the water and extended his hand to help Novak stand.

Novak’s expression dropped and he slowly positioned himself to stand, confused and dripping wet. He anxiously did a double take to Dico as he let go off his hand and sighed as he unbuttoned and let his heavy wet jeans fall to his ankles. Not wanting to lose this brave momentum, he quickly slipped off his dripping t shirt. A little uncomfortable, he attempted to cover himself up like a model from a swimsuit issue.

Dico grinned, sizing the pathetic man up and down. “Do you know how many times I’ve wanted to put you in your place like this?” That dark tone was back, and it made Novak shiver.

“So... humiliating me with water is your big ‘revenge’? Wow, well come on kil-“Novak’s mockery was cut short as Dico threw his hand around his throat, squeezing harshly. “I’m so tired of hearing you” he glared deep into the blue eyes, “I think we both know your mouth is better for other things.”

Novak reached up to grasp the hand around his throat and pulled it away slowly. He locked eyes with Dico as he carefully knelt down in the bathtub, resting his hands on the side like a eager pup awaiting a treat.

Dico hummed to himself, almost unable to believe he was really going to do this- after all the times he had ridiculed Novak for being such a man whore, he had let himself become captivated by those pretty eyes. He watched Novak’s face as he slowly undid his belt and unzipped his jeans. He paused for a moment to let the tension grow, palming himself with one hand and shower head in the other. “I cannot believe I’m saying this but…hurry up, don’t be such a cock tease.” Novak whined, staring longingly at Dico’s growing bulge that just so happened to be eye level. Dico scoffed at the unexpected words and slowly pulled down his boxers, his thick cock springing free to ‘boop’ the blonde on the nose. Not wasting anytime, Novak grasped the member and pushed it into his mouth, immediately setting a fast pace of coordinated movements.

“Fuck- just use your mouth, slut.” Dico gasped at the sudden warmth, throwing his head back in pleasure. He bucked his hips deeper into the mans throat feeling him choke slightly. Dico had forgotten all about what was in his hand, and accidentally squeezed on the shower head blasting Novak with cold water. Novak yelped around the dick in his mouth, sending orgasmic vibrations through Dico’s entire body. Dico looked down to see Novak’s eyes screwed shut, bobbing up and down on his dick like his life depended on it, and blasted him again. Novak whined loudly with a fully stuffed mouth, erupting a guttural moan from Dico who rested his free hand on the back of the greasy blonde head.

He weaved his fingers in with the hair so that he had a good hold and moved the smaller man’s head in faster rhythm. He pushed himself deep into Novak’s throat, feeling him gargle on spit that shot out around his dick in white foamy strings.

Novak was secretly enjoying every moment being used like this. He reached down to stroke his throbbing cock in a matching rhythm and moaned loudly even as the cold water was blasted down on his body once again. Dico raised one leg on the side of the tub and pulled Novak’s face closer, thrusting himself so deep down his throat that he wasn’t sure if the blue eyes were watering, or were wet from being blasted. He began thrusting so violently that Novak placed his wet hands against the moving thighs, desperately attempting to save himself the whiplash.

Dico was lost in pleasure, he couldn’t believe how good Novak’s mouth felt, and how good he was at taking dick. He couldn’t hold back his moans anymore and he let his mouth fall open as he pushed Novak’s head back and forth on his length, picking up speed with every thrust. “Fuck- don’t stop... Fuck I’m gonna cum, want me to cum down your throat, whore?” Dico groaned, he knew Novak was unable to answer, but he loved the vibrations he felt as the man attempted to say “yes please.”

Dico threw the shower head down and held the back of the blonde’s head with both hands, thrusting so fast that the ‘squelching’ echoed through the bathroom. Novak softly rubbed Dico’s thighs to ground him back to reality and looked up to meet his gaze with a teary doe eyes.

Dico’s thrusts hitched as he pushed Novak’s face completely down on his cock, shooting his huge load down the man’s throat. He held him there until the intense pleasure subsided, and slowly pulled him away with a long string of spit connecting to the swollen pink lips.

“Think you put me in my place enough? Or are you wanting more... ?” Novak spoke so softly it was almost a whisper. Dico smirked and shook his head, extending his hand once again to help Novak out of the bathtub- still naked, hard, and soaking wet.

“Oh my god what a whore...” Dico moaned out, looking over Novak’s cock dripping a mixture of water and pre cum. “You deserved every minute of that, and you loved it. Just don’t expect me to go so easy on you if you continue to be such a cock sucker all the time.” Although his words were harsh, he held the smaller man’s chin delicately with his fingers and pulled him in for a soft kiss.

“I um.. yeah.. I’ll behave myself, when necessary.” Novak winked and softly kissed back before retrieving his clothes from the tub. They smiled at each other as Dico stepped backwards out of the bathroom pulling the door behind him, “if you ever say anything about this to anyone I’ll hit you with my car.” Novak chuckled and nodded his head as the door closed, leaving him in privacy.

“What the fuck was that..” Novak thought to himself as he sunk down against the door like a giddy lovestruck teenager, “God, I really am a whore.”

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

idk man this just popped into my head and it needed to exist

requests open!

[welcometojackass2022]

My Official Masterlist:

I figured it was about time I compiled a list of all of my published fics! This covers all of the boys I write for from Jackass, the CKY videos, and Viva La Bam. The boys are listed in alphabetical order! This will be updated after each fic is published. Any fics I write using one of the boys characters (from Haggard, Minghags, etc) will go under their heading but will also go under a separate heading for whatever movie the character is from.

Currently Taking Commissions

Rules for Requesting

People I Write For

Important Note: ao3 account

Jackass/CKY/Viva La Bam Members:

Bam Margera

NSFW Alphabet: Bam Margera

Bam Being Forced to Fuck You As A Punishment [Smut]

Bam’s Kinks-Headcanons and Short Blurbs

He’s My Thing (Sub!Bam Margera x Reader) [Smut]

Perfect Shot (Sub!Bam Margera x GN! Reader) [Smut]

Sex Is Better When You Share (CKY Guys x Reader) [Smut]

Shut Up (Bam Margera x Reader) [Smut]

Sucking Bam Off From Behind—Short Imagine

Untitled Sub Bam Smut Drabble

Up Against The Shower Wall (Sub! Bam Margera x Reader) [Smut]

What’s My Line Again? (Bam Margera x Reader x Brandon Novak) [Smut]

Brandon DiCamillo

NSFW Alphabet: Brandon DiCamillo

Jealous Dico x Reader Smut Drabble (Untitled)

Laughter (Dico x Reader Drabble) [Light Smut]

Sex Is Better When You Share (CKY Guys x Reader) [Smut]

Short Dico x Reader Smut Drabble (Untitled)

Sometimes (Dico x Reader Smut Drabble)

Dating Brandon DiCamillo (Dico) Would Include

The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Switching Roles During Sex [Short Smut Drabble]

The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Try Out New Kinks For You [Short Smut Drabble]

You’re Fucking Disgusting (Brandon DiCamillo x GN! Reader) [Smut]

Brandon Novak

NSFW Alphabet: Brandon Novak

Drool (Sub! Brandon Novak x Reader Smut Drabble) [Dumbification]

How The CKY Boys Would React to Being Called Pet Named in Bed (Smut Drabble)

The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Switching Roles During Sex [Short Smut Drabble]

The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Try Out New Kinks For You [Short Smut Drabble]

What’s My Line Again? (Bam Margera x Reader x Brandon Novak) [Smut]

Chris Pontius

NSFW Alphabet: Chris Pontius

Dave England

NSFW Alphabet: Dave England 

Ehren McGhehey (Danger Ehren)

NSFW Alphabet: Ehren McGhehey/Danger Ehren (Jackass)

Short Sundresses and Melted Ice Cream (Danger Ehren x Reader) [Fluff]

Jess Margera

The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Try Out New Kinks For You [Short Smut Drabble]

Being Bam’s Best Friend Who Has A Crush on Jess Would Include:

Joe Frantz

NSFW Alphabet: Joe Frantz

Fairy Wings (Joe Frantz x Reader Smut Drabble)

How the CKY Boys Would React to Being Called Pet Names (Smut Drabble)

Joe Frantz Smut Drabble-Body Worship

Put Me In A Movie (Joe Frantz x Reader) [Smut]

The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Switching Roles During Sex [Short Smut Drabble]

The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Try Out New Kinks For You [Short Smut Drabble]

The Viagra Story (Joe Frantz x Reader) [Smut]

Johnny Knoxville

NSFW Alphabet: Johnny Knoxville

Be My Baby (Johnny Knoxville x Plus Sized! Reader) [Fluff]

Don’t Be A Tease (Johnny Knoxville x Reader) [Smut]

Get A Life! (Johnny Knoxville x Bam Margera’s Sister! Reader) [Smut]

Hello, Nurse (Johnny Knoxville x Reader) [Smut]

This Has Got To Stop (Married!Cheater!Johnny Knoxville x Reader) [Smut]

Underwater Exploration (Dom! Johnny Knoxville x Reader) [Smut]

Lord Bottaro

NSFW Alphabet: Lord Bottaro

The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Try Out New Kinks For You [Short Smut Drabble]

Raab Himself

NSFW Alphabet: Chris Raab/Raab Himself

Hot And Ready, Just Like Our Pizza (Chris Raab/Raab Himself x Reader) [Smut]

How The CKY Boys Would React to Being Called Pet Names in Bed (Smut Drabble)

Sex Is Better When You Share (CKY Guys x Reader) [Smut]

Suck It And See (Sub!Chris Raab/Raab Himself x Reader) [Smut]

The Anniversary Surprise (Sub! Raab x Reader) [Smut]

The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Switching Roles During Sex [Short Smut Drabble]

The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Try Out New Kinks For You [Short Smut Drabble]

Rake Yohn

NSFW Alphabet: Rake Yohn

He Blinded Me With Science (Mad Scientist!Rake Yohn x Reader) [Smut Drabble]

How the CKY Boys Would React to Being Called Pet Names in Bed (Smut Drabble)

Old Man (Rake Yohn x Reader Smut Drabble)

Quiet Time (Dom!Rake Yohn x Reader) [Smut]

Sex Is Better When You Share (CKY Guys x Reader) [Smut]

The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Switching Roles During Sex [Short Smut Drabble]

The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Try Out New Kinks For You [Short Smut Drabble]

Ryan Dunn

NSFW Alphabet: Ryan Dunn

Sex Is Better When You Share (CKY Guys x Reader) [Smut]

Shove It (Ryan Dunn x Sub!Reader) [Smut]

Stay On Task (Dom!Ryan Dunn x Reader) [Smut]

Steve-O

Coming soon!

Minghags Characters:

Non-Pairing Fics/Female Jackass Member Fics:

Being A Female Jackass Member Who’s Childhood Best Friends With Bam and Ryan Would Include:

My Jackass Girl Idea

What A Female Jackass Member Would Be Like (Except She’s As Mean and Gross As the Rest of the Guys)

Related to But Not From Jackass and Viva La Bam:

Jimmy Pop

NSFW Alphabet: Jimmy Pop

When I Go Down On You (Jimmy Pop x Reader) [Smut Drabble]

[welcometojackass2022]

The CKY/Viva La Bam Boys Try Out New Kinks For You [Smut Drabble] (Dico, Raab, Rake, Frantz, Novak, Bottaro, Jess)

@lieutenant-cinnamon-roll thank you for the great request and for the awesome Dico idea!

@chasingwinehouse thanks for giving me literally too many ideas to mention. Ily <3

In this one, the boys agree to try out a new kink for you (it’ll be a different kink for each boy), to varying degrees of success, meaning some of the scenarios will be successful and some will not. Just depends on the guy. The kink in question will be put next to each boy’s name in parentheses as a warning. Dico and Novak’s parts are pretty much purely comedic in nature, but the rest are very smutty. Also I am VERY MUCH AWARE that Raab’s photo is blurry as hell but it’s such a cute photo that I just had to use it. Gimme a pass here.

Warnings: Female reader, Cursing, you can guess the rest (check the parentheses), PERIOD STUFF in the last one with explicit blood references

@asskickedbygirl @butttxray

Brandon DiCamillo (Roleplay):

“Keep going, my dear, I’m so close to inventing electricity again! I’ve almost found it, I’ve got to go through the circular district and then it’ll come right out of the clouds and—” You listened to your boyfriend ramble theatrically about his need to rediscover electricity as he thrust his cock inside you, his pointy 1700s-style hat poking against your forehead every time he looked down at you and his scratchy ruffled collar tickling your neck. You wrapped your arms and legs around his back to pull him closer to your body so his cock would go deeper inside you, trying your best not to burst out into laughter at the sight of your boyfriend fucking you while dressed like a founding father. Earlier that day, you had made the mistake of casually mentioning to Dico that you were mildly interested in trying out roleplay as a way of spicing things up. Dico had told you to wait on the bed while he went into the bathroom to change into an outfit; you’d expected him to surprise you by dressing up as a professor or maybe even a doctor, but instead he walked into the bedroom wearing his Benjamin Franklin outfit, already in character with the same accent and mannerisms he’d used for the CKY bit. You really weren’t that bothered by it, all things considered; sure it was weird as hell, but you had asked him to spice the sex up a little bit, and this was certainly one way to do it. Dico quickened his pace, throwing his head back so hard it knocked his wire-framed 1700s glasses askew, which made it even harder for you not to laugh. “Dear Lord, madam, your bits are crackling with pure energy, this may be the source of electricity I’ve been seeking all along! Keep going, my dear, lightning is about to strike!” You stared up at him in confusion. “Does that mean you’re about to cum, Dico?” Dico didn’t break character for even a moment. “Dico? My lord, you harlot, how many men have you lured into your bedchambers before me? Tis I, Benjamin Franklin! Inventor of electricity!” He thrust inside you one more time, throwing his head back and loudly mumbling gibberish about lightning striking as he came inside you, his pointy hat falling off as he dramatically jerked his whole body around like he was being struck by lightning; he pulled out of you and fell off the bed, tumbling onto the ground and continuing to jerk around on the carpet like he’d just been shocked by a lightning bolt. You moved to the edge of the bed and stared down at him in confusion. “What the hell are you doing, Dico—fuck, sorry, I mean Benjamin Franklin.” Dico promptly stopped writhing around on the floor and glanced up at you with a grin. “Dear Lord, madam, I was right! That pussy of yours is positively electrifying!”

Verdict: Successful, for Dico at least. Maybe next time he’ll branch out and try Rut Ru.

Brandon Novak (Food Use):

“You think I should try to put the whipped cream everywhere or just focus on the cock?” You shook the can of whipped cream in your hand as you pushed on Novak’s bare chest to make him lay back against the pillows, admiring the sight of his naked body as you deliberated over where to put the cream first. Novak grinned, jerking his hips up a little bit to draw your attention to his cock from where it sat firm against his thigh. “Come on, babe, you know you wanna go straight for the cock.” You laughed. “True. Alright, hold still then.” You wrapped your hand around the base of his cock to hold it steady as you shook the whipped cream can one more time and then squirted a bit of it on the tip of Novak’s cock, grinning when the tiniest of gasps slipped from his lips. You leaned down and lapped up some of the soft white cream from the head of his cock, causing Novak to moan softly and curse under his breath. “Does it feel better with the whipped cream or no?” Novak nodded. “It’s like lube, it really slicks everything up. Can you put it on the whole thing? Like get it all over the balls, too.” You nodded and squirted the cream all over his shaft and his balls, completely covering it and then leaning down to lick a stripe of it off from the underside of his cock. Novak’s hips jerked again, and he groaned. “Damn, that’s good. Lemme see that for a sec.” He reached out for the can, and you handed it to him, licking up another stripe of cream from his shaft, and he promptly squirted at least half the contents of the can directly into his own mouth, whipped cream smearing all over his mouth and dripping down his face as he tried to swallow the entire mouthful. You burst out laughing, trying to take the can back from him before he could waste anymore of it. “Jesus, Brandon, way to use up all our supply! That’s my only fucking can, gimme it.” Novak shook his head and pulled it away from you with a grin, going for another mouthful, but you managed to smack it out of his hands, resulting in whipped cream squirting everywhere; all over the floor, all over the walls, all over Novak, and all over you. “Nice going, dickhead, we’re gonna have to clean all that shit up now. I guess that little sex experiment is over.” Novak shrugged. “According to you. We’ve still got plenty of whipped cream to use, babe, we just have to get a little creative with it.” He grabbed your whipped cream-covered arm and licked it clean, and you playfully rolled your eyes. “You’re so nasty, Brandon….I’ll give you $5 if you lick all the whipped cream off the wall.” He grinned. “$10 and I’ll lick it off the floor, too.”

Verdict: Successful in that you and Novak had a very good time! Very tasty way to spend the day. Maybe not the sexiest, though, especially when you’ve got an attention span as short as Novak’s.

Chris Raab (Handcuffs + Sex Toy):

“It feels weird not being able to touch you when we do stuff like this. I feel like a criminal that just got taken in by the police.” You giggled at Raab’s comment as you finished putting the handcuffs on him, keeping his hands restrained behind his back so he couldn’t move them at all for what the two of you were about to do. “That’s kinda the point, baby, they’re handcuffs. Listen, if they get too uncomfortable or you just don’t like them then let me know and I’ll take them off. I have a feeling you’re barely gonna notice them after I start, though.” You picked up the main event of this little sex scenario you and Raab were about to engage in: a purple silicone vibrator. Just the sight of it seemed to make Raab antsy, and he leaned back against the chair he was sitting in, anxiously tapping his foot as he waited for you to use the toy on him. He was already completely naked, his little cock hard against his thigh and his nipples dark and hard against his pale skin. You kneeled down on the floor between his legs in front of the chair, gently parting his thighs to give yourself better access as you wrapped your hand around the base of his cock. Raab’s sensitive thighs twitched, his hips bucking up against your touch as he waited for you to turn the toy on; you leaned down to kiss the tip of his cock, wanting to stretch this out for as long as possible just to get Raab even more worked up, and the soft whine that left his mouth made it clear you succeeded. “Alright, alright, I’ll stop dragging it out, baby. Here, hold still.” You turned the toy on, cooing over Raab when he flinched at the vibrating noise, and then you gently pressed it to the tip of Raab’s cock, grinning when he immediately threw his head back with a loud whine, his arms struggling against the handcuffs like he was desperate to be able to grab at something. You pressed it more firmly to his cock head and he bucked his hips up, his mouth falling open as a series of pathetic little moans left his lips. “How’s that feel, baby, you like that?” He nodded desperately, trying to push his hips up more so he could feel more friction on his cock. “So good, (Y/n), thank you so much.” You smiled, moving the vibrator around in a circular motion over his slit, and Raab’s eyes fluttered shut, panting softly as a line of drool started to drip from his lips. “Aw, poor baby. I knew you’d like this. Here, let me see what happens when I move it down a little bit….right here.” You moved it up and down the length of his shaft, and right on cue, Raab moaned again, his cock twitching each time the vibrator reached the tip or the base as he railed against the handcuffs once again. “Fuck, please take the handcuffs off, (Y/n), I need to grab something so bad, it’s too much, please take them off—” You reached around and clicked them off one-handed without skipping a beat, and Raab immediately reached out for you to hold his hand with your free hand as you continued to moved the vibrator over his cock, his legs shaking as he got closer to cumming. You ran it over his tip one more time, and his cum immediately spurted from the slit, shooting out more intensely than you’d ever seen before. When he finished, he slumped back in his chair, red-faced and panting. You grinned. “No handcuffs, aye? I guess my idea for a police officer roleplay is out of the question.”

Verdict: Half successful! Throw out the handcuffs but keep that vibrator in a drawer for later.

Jess Margera (Lingerie + Garters):

“Alright, Jess, this whole getup took me at least fifteen minutes to put on, so I better hear some fucking applause when I come out.” You stepped out of the closet to reveal the sexy lace lingerie and garters you’d put on, twirling around to show it off from all angles, and Jess good-naturedly clapped his hands like you’d asked, a massive grin on his face as he took in the sight of you in such sexy clothing. “God, babe, I don’t even know what to say, you look amazing.” You smiled, strutting over to him in your heels and pulling him down to kiss you. “I better! This stuff was not easy to put on, let me tell you, the lace got caught on like two different clothing hangers while I was changing and I almost broke my ankle when I first put the heels on.” Jess laughed, giving you a sweet kiss on the forehead and then pulling away to look you over again. “Well all your hard work definitely paid off. You look like a fucking goddess, I can’t wait to get my hands all over you in that sexy ass lingerie. Maybe I should sit in a chair and you can just sit in my lap?” You nodded, pointing towards the chair that was across the room, and Jess eagerly sat down, watching you with a look of awe as you strutted seductively across the room towards him, wrapping your arms around his neck as you sat down in his lap with your ass pressed against his crotch. He cursed under his breath, running his hands over the lace underwear and the sexy garters appreciatively. “You’re not planning on taking this off, are you? I know sometimes the girl just straight up takes it all off when it’s time to fuck but I’d really love it if you kept it on.” You playfully rolled your eyes. “Of course I’m keeping it on! You think I’d go through all the hard work of putting it on just for it to end up on the floor while we fuck? No way!” He grinned. “Good. Come here.” He pulled you down to kiss him again, his hands wandering over your breasts and rubbing at your inner thighs through the lace, and then he pulled the panties aside to rub at your pussy with his index finger, gently pushing his fingertip inside you to stretch you out as he felt your tight wet pussy. “Those heels look sexy as hell too, babe. You can kick them off, though, I don’t want your feet to hurt.” You grinned. “You’re a saint, Jess.” You kicked them off, stretching out your legs and then getting up and turning around so you could face Jess while you sat in his lap, his finger instantly pushing inside you again as he kissed a line down your neck. You could feel his cock hardening underneath you, and you lifted yourself up off of him long enough to unbutton and unzip his pants and fish his cock out, jerking it slowly in your hand and smirking when Jess’s finger started to push inside you with even more intensity than before. “Fuck, baby, you’re killing me.” You smiled. “Is it too early to ask you to go ahead and put your cock inside me?” Jess shook his head. “In that outfit, you could ask me to fuck you in a Walmart shopping cart and I’d say yes.”

Verdict: 100% success! If you ever want Jess to do something, just ask him while you’re wearing the lingerie and garters and he’ll never say no.

Joe Frantz (Slapping/Pain Kink):

“Slap me.” Frantz’s rough thrusts immediately came to a halt as he stared down at you in shock. “What was that, sweetheart?” You went slightly red, feeling a little embarrassed about your request, but you repeated it. “Slap me across the face. Just once. I wanna see how it feels, I feel like maybe it could be kinda hot.” You’d never seen Frantz look so nervous before; as rough as he was during sex, he was not violent, and slapping you might have been a little outside of his comfort zone. Nevertheless, he hesitantly nodded his head in agreement, resuming his rough thrusts so that his cock was stretching out your tight pussy as he moved his hand up to rub over your cheek, seemingly psyching himself up to do as you had asked. He gently pulled the hand back and then delivered an extremely weak slap, barely even hitting your cheek, and you shot him a look of understanding. “It’s okay, baby, you can be a little harder than that. Just slap me one good time, really bring your hand back and slap me. I won’t get upset, I promise.” Frantz still looked nervous, but he brought his hand back even further than before and then brought it down again, this time at least hitting your cheek hard enough to make a noise but not enough for you to feel it. “Maybe just a little harder, Frantz, like really slap me. Act like I’m someone you absolutely hate. Slap me as hard as you’re fucking me right now.” Frantz thrust his cock inside you once more, pounding your g-spot with his cock head, and then, one last time, he pulled his hand back and slapped you across the face—hard. Your cheek was burning, your mouth was slightly open in shock, and your pussy was throbbing from how turned on it made you, but Frantz immediately stopped his thrusts and shook his head with a guilty look on his face. “Fuck, baby, I’m sorry, I can’t do this. Hot sauce.” As soon as he said the safe word, you unwrapped your legs from around his waist and let him get off of you, sitting up to rub his back soothingly as he rubbed his hands over his face. Frantz rarely ever used the safe word, given that he was pretty much always in charge of everything, but when he did say it, it was pretty serious. “I’m so sorry, baby, I know you probably liked that but I just can’t hit you like that. It feels abusive.” You shook your head, pulling him closer to hug him with your arms wrapped around his neck. “Oh, don’t be sorry, Frantz, I shouldn’t have just asked you like that so impulsively. Next time I’ll ask about stuff like that before we start, I just randomly thought of that and figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask. You don’t have to do it again, don’t worry.” Frantz hugged you back for a moment and then pulled away to rub the cheek he’d slapped, which was bright red. “Man, I wish I hadn’t done it so hard, baby, it looks like it hurts.” You shook your head. “Nah, it doesn’t hurt. It’s kinda like when you spank me.” Frantz grinned as he remembered you were still naked, his hands moving down to grab at your ass. “No more slapping you, but I’ll gladly smack these cheeks any day of the week.”

Verdict: Not successful. Frantz likes it rough, but slapping is just a little too far for him. He’d rather bring his hand down on your ass, not your face.

Lord Bottaro (Choking):

“It’s not a big deal, baby, just wrap your hands around the bottom of my throat and squeeze a little bit. Here, let me….yeah, right there.” You helpfully guided your boyfriend’s hand down to the base of your neck, helping him wrap his thick fingers around it as he stared down at you with sheer confusion. “I hope you know I’m only doing this because I love you and you asked nicely.” You laughed, patting his hand reassuringly and pulling him down to give him a kiss. “It’ll be fine, baby. The second you feel uncomfortable, just say so and we’ll stop doing this and go right into having sex, how does that sound?” He seemed slightly more reassured by this; if the choking had been during sex, he probably wouldn’t have agreed to it, but you had offered to let him do it before the sex, like a fucked up little appetizer. “Alright, now just slowly press down a little bit. Not too much yet. Give it a few seconds, and then press down a little more. I’ll tap your hand if it’s too much.” Bottaro nodded and hesitantly pressed down on your neck with the smallest amount of force possible, gauging the look on your face like he was scared you were gonna start gasping for air. You smiled reassuringly at him, nodding for him to continue, and he applied a little more force, just enough for you to actually start feeling it. It felt good, and you were already starting to get wet; the look of enjoyment on your face seemed to relax him a little bit, and he stroked your face and pushed your hair out of your eyes with his free hand as he tightened his grip just a little bit more, enough to where it was actually starting to affect your breathing a little bit; you had to open your mouth just slightly to take in more air, and this immediately brought back his nervousness, so he loosened his grip a little once again. You just smiled up at him patiently, offering one of your hands for him to hold with his free hand, and he gratefully accepted it, gently squeezing your fingers with his big, warm hand as he tried to let himself tighten his grip once again. Your pussy was starting to throb, and you squeezed your legs together to take off some of the pressure as he pressed down more firmly on your neck, eyes still locked on yours to make sure you didn’t look at all scared or intimidated. Just as you could feel your face starting to get a little red, Bottaro took his hand away and sighed. “Sweetie, I know you really wanted me to do this, but I feel like a serial killer right now. Can we stop here?” You sat up and nodded, kissing him on the cheek. “Of course, baby, thanks for at least trying. It felt really good.” He smiled. “I’m glad you at least got something out of it.” He pulled you in to kiss him again, his boner forming against your thigh as you rubbed your hands over his back, and when you pulled away, you shot him a suggestive look. “Tell you what. How about I give you a blowjob for being so brave and trying that out for me?” He grinned. “I have been pretty brave, haven’t I?”

Verdict: Not successful. Please don’t ever ask him to do that again. He felt like a serial killer.

Rake Yohn (Period Sex)

When it came to what Rake liked and disliked, Rake was a fairly simple man. There were two things that he disliked above all other things: one was mustard, and the other was period blood. So when you offhandedly mentioned period sex to him during a conversation about interesting kinks you’d been thinking about, you had expected him to quickly turn it down. Rake was very caring and loving and respectful when you were on your period, and he’d gladly help you wash anything you got blood on, but the idea of having his dick inside you while you were bleeding seemed like something that would be too much for him. But, to your surprise, he had agreed, which was why you were now laying on the bed with a towel under you as Rake lined his hard cock up with your pussy. “You know there’s still time to back out of this, baby. I don’t want you to pass out in the middle of this.” Rake sent you a look, leaning down to give you a quick kiss as he pressed his tip against your entrance. “I’m not gonna pass out, princess, I’m not afraid of period blood. I just don’t really like touching it.” You smirked. “And yet you’re about to have your entire dick covered in it, all because I brought it up once.” Rake just shrugged. “Listen, all the other guys have sex with their girls when she’s on her period, and I don’t want you to feel left out, so I’m at least going to try. Don’t think for a second that you gross me out, okay, your body is beautiful and you’re strong as hell for dealing with this shit every month. I’ve just always had a weird thing about period blood, that’s all.” You smiled. “I know, baby, and that’s sweet of you to be willing to try it, but again, there’s still time to back out. I just feel like you’re gonna pretend to like it just to please me but then you’re actually gonna hate it.” Rake kissed you on the forehead and shrugged. “I guess we’ll see, honey. I mean, I’m still getting to have sex with you, so it sounds like a win to me. Alright, here goes…” Rake pushed his tip in, clearly a little more hesitant than he was letting on, and as soon as he felt the sensation of the period blood around his dick, he stopped right in his tracks. “Wow. That feels…I did not expect that at all. Okay. Um…guess I’ll do a little more.” He pushed it in more, his thick shaft stretching you out as he slid into your slick wet pussy. One of his hands was balanced protectively on the bed so he could hold himself up, the other on your waist so he could rub his hand over your hips, and you felt his grip immediately tighten on your hip the more he pushed his cock in. So far, he was doing very well, much more so than you had expected him to. Now all he had to do was just pull it out and push it back in a few times. “Maybe this isn’t so bad. It’s as slick as a slip-n-slide, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Here, now I just need to–” Rake pulled his cock out of you and immediately stopped talking as he stared down at his shaft, which was now coated with your period blood. You could see the look of absolute horror starting to appear on his face, and you tried to force yourself not to laugh. “Rake? Baby? Earth to Rake? You can stop now, you look like you’re gonna have a stroke. Here, come on, I’ll clean you off with the towel.” You used part of the towel under you to wipe Rake’s shaft off, and he tucked it back into his pants with a look of guilt. “God, baby, I’m sorry, I just…it didn’t bother me at all until I saw it on my dick.” You laughed. “Rake, I told you I understood. It was nice of you to at least give it a shot, but I knew it wasn’t gonna work out at all. And you say you’re not afraid of period blood…you looked like you were about to pass out.” Rake nodded. “Yeah, I know. Listen, baby, I really am sorry. As soon as your period’s over, I owe you some lip service. I’ll make you a coupon for five free sessions of me eating you out.” You smirked. “Rake, you’d eat me out for free without the coupon.” He grinned. “Touché.”

Verdict: Literally the farthest thing from success. Rake loves and adores you and your body but as he’s said before, period blood is up there with mustard as one of his least favorite substances.

[asskickedbygirl]

Radio Bam - F!Reader Fic

Episode Two

ep one - ep three - ep four

Desc: Episode two of self insert radio bam fic! basically you’re a regular on radio bam.

A/n: high demand part 2 (three people), hope you guys enjoy feel free to give me ideas or suggestions for the next parts in my requests! i will be making this a series!

Warnings: mentions of sex

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Dico: *aaaauuuuughhh* Weeeeelcome to Radio Bam everyone! Haha… on todays episode we got the one, the only, the Dreamseller himself, Brandon Novak. Couldn’t get rid of him if you tried! We also got sir Joe Frantz, Jessie Margera, our own hot pants Y/n, myself Dico aaaaand Baaaaam Margera!

Novak: What the fuck was that supposed to mean?!

Y/n: You’re like a really haggard case of herpes!

Novak: Yeah I bet you would know field fucker!

Y/n: Is this how I’m gonna be referred to as now?

Frantz: It sounds like you fuck fields.

Bam: No she just fucks in fields.

Jess: Oh my god I forgot about that.

Dico: You don’t listen to the show Jessie? If you did you would know my deepest darkest secret was aired out on live radio!

Jess: I have a life Brandon.

Frantz: Was this when a farmer watched you cum in Y/n?

Y/n: You know I don’t think we need to repeat the story.

Dico: Yeah can we not please.

Bam: Too traumatic?

Dico: Too soon.

*room laughs*

Jess: Man that was like ten years ago.

Dico: It’ll never be far enough away.

Novak: Did you guys even date after fucking in a field or what?

Y/n: Nah, we were just friends that wanted to lose our virginities.

Jess: Yeah except you guys acted like fucking idiots for months afterwards and I had to deal with it!

Bam: Oh shit yeah! Working at the movie theatre?

Jess: I was like a child who’s divorced parents wouldn’t speak to each other.

Y/n: Hey it’s not my fault Brandon wouldn’t look me in the eye for at least four months!

Dico: Okay but how did you expect me to redeem myself after an old guy witnessed me orgasming?

Y/n: Hey it was bad for me too! He saw my tits!

Novak: Lucky man.

Y/n: I was sixteen Novak.

Frantz: Wait you guys were like fully naked?

Y/n: No I just had my shirt pulled up. We’re not that weird.

Dico: At least you were wearing a skirt, I had to run away with my ass still hanging out.

Bam: What I wouldn’t pay to see that again.

Dico: Oh shit! Look who’s decided to join us everyone, listeners the one and only Random Hero, Ryan Dunn has entered the building!

Bam: You’re fucking late dickhead!

Ryan: It’s 7:03!

Frantz: Yeah that means we started three minutes ago genius.

Y/n: Professionalism at it’s finest ladies and gentlemen.

Ryan: Alright, alright, settle down weirdos.

Bam: Wait a minute, is this now the second person that’s slept with Y/n to join the show tonight?

Jess: Oh shit!

Y/n: This is not making me look very respectable.

Frantz: There should be a radio show for all the guys Y/n’s fucked.

Y/n: It would just be Dico, Ryan and a bunch of pro skaters.

Novak: Rubbing salt in the wound babe.

Bam: Wait which pro skaters did you fuck? I know of like two.

Y/n: I’m not answering that question on air. I’ve already lost enough self respect.

Dico: That was gone a long time ago.

Novak: Well you know to really hit rock bottom you gotta fuck me.

Y/n: I admire the fact you think I want to hit rock bottom Novak.

Novak: Only way is up babe.

Bam: Well now that Ryan and Y/n are both here, I think it’s time to tell the story of how Y/n got fired from the movie theatre.

Ryan: Oh christ.

Y/n: People I know listen to this Bam! My parents still think I quit!

Frantz: It’s too good to not tell.

Novak: Is this a dirty story?

Bam: Always with Y/n Novak. Always.

Y/n: My reputation is being tarnished.

Dico: What reputation?

Y/n: Enough!

Jess: Are you guys gonna tell the story or do I have to?

Ryan: There isn’t much of a story to tell.

Y/n: I mean for context Ryan and I dated for about a year after high school.

Novak: He stole your girl Dico?

Y/n: I am public domain.

Frantz: Yeah we know.

Novak: This is just hurting my feelings more and more hot pants.

Bam: Can we get back to the story please?

Y/n: Yeah okay so, as we know Dico, Jess and I worked at our local theatre and we could get free tickets so Ryan and I were there pretty often.

Ryan: I’m a cheap date.

Y/n: Well one day we were seeing some dumb movie at like 11pm on a Tuesday so like, ghost town right? No one in the theatre.

Novak: Oh I know where this is going.

Ryan: I think it was Happy Gilmore.

Bam: What?

Ryan: The movie was Happy Gilmore.

Frantz: You guys fucked to an Adam Sandler golf movie?!

Y/n: Way to ruin the suspense Frantz!

Jess: You guys fucking suck at telling stories.

Y/n: Can I continue?

Bam: Go on.

Y/n: Right so, we’re making out and Ryan starts moving my hand down to his crotch.

Ryan: You’re making me sound like a sleaze!

Y/n: Well it’s what happened! Anyways, since I worked there I knew that screen didn’t have any cameras, and if anyone were to go in the projection room they wouldn’t be able to see us cause’ of where we sat so I thought, fuck it! I started jerking him off or whatever.

Ryan: This is humiliating.

Y/n: Well you know it gets worse! I was thinking more and realised, realistically we could fuck and no one would notice. And we’re eighteen and stupid.

Frantz: A common trait for you.

Y/n: Whatever. So I whisper to him ‘do you wanna fuck?’ and he’s game, obviously. So we manoeuvre around and I’m on top and we start… you know.

Novak: Fucking.

Y/n: Thank you Novak. So yeah, but in the mean time I assumed only Dico and Jess were working that night since it was a ghost town. But little did I know, our manager-

Dico: The fart one.

Y/n: Yeah the fart one. He was on shift and he was a tightass that used to do ‘screen checks’ to make sure people aren’t being rowdy or something.

Jess: And to make sure couples aren’t fucking.

Y/n: Yeah that too. So anyways I’m sure everyone knows where I’m going with this, my manager walked in on me riding Ryan.

Dico: In a filthy fucking movie theatre!

Bam: Yeah that place was fucking minging, you guys probably caught a venereal disease from doing that.

Ryan: Probably.

Novak: Do you have some crazy fucking exhibitionist kink Y/n? Why have you been caught fucking by old men TWICE.

Frantz: She’s into other people being into voyeurism.

Y/n: Not funny.

Bam: What even happened after he walked in I forget.

Y/n: I mean I immediately got off Ryan and started apologising and covering myself. He just walked out and told me to come outside of the screen to have ‘a talk’.

Ryan: I had to sit there watching Happy Gilmore while she went outside.

*Room erupts into laughter*

Bam: Why the fuck didn’t you leave with her?!

Ryan: I did not want to look fart man in the eyes.

Y/n: Yeah well while you were enjoying the movie he basically called me a whore and fired me.

Frantz: He called you a whore?

Y/n: Well he said I ‘should be ashamed of my promiscuity’ and that I’m ‘no longer an employee’ and to tell my boyfriend neither of us are welcome back in the theatre.

Novak: You guys got fucking banned?!

Ryan: Big time.

Y/n: Do you think if we went back they would let us in?

Jess: I doubt fart man is still knocking around.

Ryan: Maybe our pictures are hung up on the walls with banned written under them.

Dico: No but we had a thorough staff meeting regarding ‘screen checks’ and why they’re so important after the incident.

Y/n: It’s not like you guys lasted long after I was fired.

Jess: Yeah Dico is not half as good as a coworker as you.

Y/n: Awwwww. You were the best coworker too Jessie!

Novak: Alright stop rubbing each others backs.

Frantz: I feel like that’s the nicest expression I’ve heard Novak use

Novak: Alright sorry, jacking each other off!

Y/n: Been there done that.

Novak: Are you fucking serious?!

Y/n: No.

End.

@jackussy420 @lovexjoe @ckygetsjobs

asked for part 2: @welcometojackass2022 @dxckfarmdunn @gnarkillknoxville