#brain: no. we’re busy.
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why does my brain tell me im busy when im literally not
#can we eat. can we do chores. can we read that book that has been sitting on the desk for two week#can we shower. can we play with the cat. can we fold the laundry. can we unpack that suit case from the beach trip we went on a week ago#can we watch netflix or youtube or take a nap or call the pet place to schedule an appointment for the cat#can we answer the text we’ve been ignoring for no reason. can we do our hair.#can we listen to music or talk to a friend or write or just do something#brain: no. we’re busy.#BBG WHAT ARE WE BUSY DOING WE ARE STARING AT A WALL
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love wyll, want good things for wyll, want to kiss wyll on the mouth and dance with him at our wedding
will be promptly kicking mizora’s ass (full stop) for making this man prioritize his Soul over looking for a cure to ceremorphosis though
#not only is it fucked in general#but if we’re looking at it from her pov#bad business??#idk the mindflayer soul situation#but i do think an elder brain would overpower any control she has regardless#and then where would she be#mizora is a bitch yeah but her fatal flaw is being stupid as fuck#all the devils are a smidgeon#but mizora#you finally won first prize#bg3#baldur’s gate 3#baldurs gate 3#anti mizora#wyll ravengard
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You should make me fall so deeply in love with you that it’s embarrassing
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#and BEFORE any of yall say that ‘oh um actually love is never embarrassing’ shit— fight me#respectfully we cannot vibe#half of love for me is goinn around KNOWING that i would eat a cardboard box if it meant i could see the person i love smile at me#and it is my god given RIGHT to cringe at myself for it#also love in general is so fucking embarrassing#having the feelings doing the in love thing expressing it#it’s all EMBARASSING#the whole POINT is that the love makes me do it anyway#like if i love you enough to EXPRESS it??? like damn i love you A LOT#like obviously it’s different for everyone but this is what my post is about#and i am choosing to say in advance that NO this is not where we’re doing any of that ‘love is never embarassing’ business#let me watch someone trip and think it’s hot so my brain can go: :/#in PEACE pls#embarassment or cringe isn’t always a bad feeling and yes i WILL die on this hill😤😤😤#im gay and i like sleeping
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Day 5: Crystal | Gratitude
#sorry we’re a few hours later than normal rip#I’ve been busy and also my brain doesn’t work#dungeons and dragons#elf#tiefling#original characters#arnarra syldan#seren#leamin
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👁️🪽
#not pictured: how incredibly strange I feel rn#received information & perspective that has honestly left me feeling some kind of mind fucked#and not in a good way#and I’m not usually so surprised#like I have solid intuition and foresight that rarely ever allows for this level of w t f#gonna need 7-22 business days to process#that first butterfly picture edit took a while and I used half my brain to enjoy editing 🦋#and the other half was processing the newly received data#symbolism of butterflies#definitely some kind of transformation happening here ?#but rn we’re just in the caterpillar desolving into goop stage#just honestly not even sure what’s going on or why or what I should do next#so I guess I’ll just allow myself to feel all the sorts of weird I feel .#she speaks#perspective#personal post#yin#butterflies#art#the goddess herself
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Prince Oberyn Martell, the Red Viper (book version)
art by Magali Villeneuve / quotes from A Storm of Swords by George R. R. Martin
#read that at 14 and the chemistry of my lil brain shifted forever#i know i know i had no business reading these books at 14 alas we’re here#oberyn martell the man that you are#oberyn martell#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#game of thrones#valyrianscrolls
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[This sprint’s section is drafted, and it just needs to be polished before being sent to the beta team. Hoping to do that tomorrow, and I’ll report back when it’s sent!]
#lumosfic#lumos#writing update#i think my brain has been toasted over an open fire after that first week and a half of busy season#but we are adjusting#why do i use the royal we in these posts?#probably because it makes me feel less solitary#like we’re all working on this together#i hope you are all safe and well
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saw a video once that was like do your thoughts refer to yourself using we/us pronouns or me/i pronouns (eg we’ve had a good day vs i’ve had a good day) and i think that it’d be funny if stobin started referring to themselves as one person in their inner thoughts
#stranger things#stobin#robin buckley#steve harrington#robin gets a good grade and she thinks we’ve passed this class#it starts happening outside their brains too#‘yeah no we’re busy tonight we can’t make it’#even if someone was only asking about one of them
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Hm. I am having Self-Worth issues tonight.
#don’t like that!#I can’t have self worth issues I’m far too sexy#get with the program brain we’re busy being hot and likeable
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thinking i might be more active on tumblr… i feel generally a lot safer here (primarily due to the number of npd-positive spaces i’ve found), and also because twitter is kinda just a rancid cesspool for the chronically online. i’m going to lose my mind if i hear one more thing about celebrity cancellations or drama or whatever the fuck people care about these days. never become a content creator as a minor holy shit it will ruin your brain and scar you for life i could not be more serious. more ranting in the tags idk i need to go take a shower
#i’ve been in the content creator ‘business’ since i was 14#it sucked then and it still sucks now#anyone here seen ranboo’s community? it’s genuinely brain rotting#you lose all sense of agency. you become what people think you are. you start drowning in the status quo#i’m still unlearning everything that i picked up#as a kid you think you know enough—not everything. just Enough—and you don’t have the space to step back and realise that’s not it at all#when you’re a kid you think the escape you’ve made for yourself online is all that matters. good god that couldn’t be farther from the truth#i know we’re back animals. we’re hard wired to side with our ‘groups’ that we belong to#but you don’t realise until it’s too late that you sacrifice your own agency and thoughts and feelings to the mob mentality#just so you can feel at home with some people you’ve never truly Known#‘touch grass’ isn’t an insult. it’s genuine advice#pack* animals. i can’t edit it directly on mobile
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haven’t done any yv art since last month, this is criminal 💔
#steph’s silly little thoughts#yuurivoice#I’ll get to it soon I promise 😭#my other interests have been keeping me busy too so-#gotta wait for something to happen for my brain to be like ‘we’re now focusing on this’
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Ok it will literally always be crazy to me that when Bakugo had a hole in his heart that needed to be SEWN up…and his MENTOR Best Jeanist aka the FIBER HERO was kneeling over him in despair that he needed STITCHES in his heart…here comes fucking Edgeshot aka the who gives a fuck hero to just…get really small? and do it. Like.
Jeanist is Bakugo’s MENTOR and he’s also very notably the fucking FIBER HERO literally WHO BETTER to sacrifice himself and STITCH his heart up?? Yknow with his. FIBERS. Hello??? HELLO?????? WHY
#bnha#loooot of frustrating things about that scene#I also have always thought it would be cool to have Kaminari defibrillate someone if they needed it#and Kaminari and Bakugo are allegedly friends so that could have also worked#(setting aside that defibrillation only works if your heart is already beating just in a disorganized rhythm but whatever#OBVIOUSLY we’re taking some medical liberties here#because apparently Bakugo can be getting CPR for like. hours and be totally fine#like that’s what we call in the business an anoxic brain injury but ok#sorry that’s beside the point the point is HIS MENTOR IS THE FIBER HERO#YKNOW. HE CONTROLS. FIBERS.#SO WHY ON EARTH#WOULD HE NOT BE THE ONE TO STITCH HIM UP ITS LITERALLY CRAZY#and don’t come in here w that ‘well he also needed cpr from the inside or whatever’#you’re telling me he couldn’t have wrapped some shit around Bakugo’s heart and squeezed?? fr???#and he wouldn’t even have had to die!! but he could have and it would have worked and been way better#I just imagine Bakugo waking up in the hospital like#‘damn I thought I was a goner fr’ ‘no Katsuki…..edgeshot he…he sacrificed himself to save you..’#and Bakugo is like ‘oh dam………..who is that again?’
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Sigh…
#just throwing words into the void#I really wanted to work on Satiate this weekend but that ain’t happening now#this new chapter really sucked joy from me I feel so sad#the whole fic is plotted out and multiple scenes are written it’s just hard to go into the pov of the characters#it’s just too sad#like wow I have been hyperfixated for months and now I’m just sitting here with anxiety and dread#everything is of course exasperated by my brain but still#I wish 431 was something else something more fun and lighthearted something joyful for the last time we see these characters#like we’re never gonna SEE them again and we’re left on such a note to sadness grief and melancholy#trying to think about these characters or write for them I’m not up for it and that kills me#because I’ve been so busy I’ve had no time or energy to write#and now that I do…the spark is gone replaced with dread
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…well, turns out changing to a Jo pfp is fitting in more ways than one.
#yeah turns out I’m going to be having a Jo and Laurie on the Hill moment. hopefully not to such a dramatic degree but#I went out with The Boy yesterday and I was dreading it so much#and it was fine but then at the end he asked if we could make it official that we were dating#and I asked him to give me a little bit of time to think (which he was super sweet about he did literally nothing wrong)#but yeah I just came to the conclusion within ten seconds of leaving the restaurant that it wasn’t going to work. like I felt nothing when#he asked me that question. and I wanted this to work so bad! it makes so much sense on paper but I’m just not feeling it#and I talked to my dad about it and he said that because the part of the brain that processes emotions is not connected to the part that#processes language aren’t connected that people who are married struggle to put into words why they married their spouse#so if I can’t put into words why I don’t want to date this guy it’s perfectly valid#and I suppose he’s right I just feel terrible about it. like how often do you find a guy this courteous and genuinely good? and like I#think maybe part of what’s bothering me was that there was almost no romance to this. like never at any point did he tell me that he even#liked me. it was just ‘hey we’ve hung out a few times now should we say we’re dating?’ and I’m not trying to rag on him he’s probably just#shy but it rang a little like a business proposition to me#but ugh. now I have to call (because I’m not going to do it over text) and break this poor boy’s heart#it’s a really good thing I have the play and my novel to distract me otherwise I’d be a mess#anyway prayers would be appreciated
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woke up to use the bathroom (well. bedside commode. trying to reduce/prevent foot pain) and folks i am so comfy. i love the pressure from the compression boots they have me in and OH MY BIRTH CONTROL I NEED TO TAKE THAT
#marzi speaks#remembered mid-‘it gets better’ post ain’t that funny#update: nurse got my bc out for me we’re good#my gyno would be so proud of my ability to remember to take my pills <3 (<- always follows meds routines)#anywho as i was saying i’m on a dose of liquid tylenol every 6 hours to stay ahead of the foot pain and it is so lovely#been sleeping basically since i had dinner. gonna keep sleeping until they come do my labwork#(not looking forward to that part but i will live)#god i am so glad i won’t have to do colonoscopy prep again#well. if all goes well that is. i should be good until my 50s#i feel like i’m gonna be so well rested. this is such an improvement#also. as they were wheeling me into the OR which was bright and busy bc i had 2 doctors for my 3 scopes#(endo- colono- and broncho-)#my anaesthesiologist asked me again if i wanted some anti-anxiety iv meds since it was so hectic#and i was still good w the morphine but also like. that place was COOL i liked it#i wanted to absorb as much info as my sleepy little nerd brain could#ANYWHO. i’m gonna go back to sleep now love you all
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“i think i’m going to try to speak to the rats” what a fucking opening line 💀💀 callie you’re incredible
#i am finally catching up with naddpod#life has been too busy#and my brain malfunctioned for a while#BUT#the block has lifted and we’re back baby 😎#gonna post some random thoughts from the marathon I had this weekend to catch up#just to have the record on here be complete for me 🥹#naddpod#naddpod spoilers#ba2mia#naddpod lb#c3 ep 36#naddpod speed run 💀#calliope petrichor
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