#you lose all sense of agency. you become what people think you are. you start drowning in the status quo

[dexalyys]

thinking i might be more active on tumblr… i feel generally a lot safer here (primarily due to the number of npd-positive spaces i’ve found), and also because twitter is kinda just a rancid cesspool for the chronically online. i’m going to lose my mind if i hear one more thing about celebrity cancellations or drama or whatever the fuck people care about these days. never become a content creator as a minor holy shit it will ruin your brain and scar you for life i could not be more serious. more ranting in the tags idk i need to go take a shower

[littlemissstel]

For Your Safety- Shiu Kong

Toxic(?)Exbf! SHIU KONG who started to limit the amount of missions you were sent to after one of his closest companio- co-worker got killed on the job.

He knew it could happen, it wasn't completely unheard of but throughout these last few months it seemed the amount of fatal injuries had risen, and that was his last straw.

It didn't matter whether you were specifically commissioned, he would lie if he had to, get someone else to do it, whatever it took if the stakes looked too high.

You had started becoming increasingly suspicious but when you asked him about it there always seemed to be an excuse. Either way it just didn't make sense, there was never a lack of demand for assassins, as concerning as it was, and even if business was slowing down- it wasn't exactly an over saturated profession. You'd be fine no matter what.

You had managed to slip it into a few conversations with your other co-workers who had Shiu as a handler, everyone seeming surprised at your lack of jobs. Even Toji who was renowned for spending his money the same day he got it hadn't managed to run out yet and that's when you knew something was seriously wrong.

You decide to bring it up to him on a ride home after another pointless day of coming into "office". At this point you only used their training facilities which was somewhat beneficial as you became more agitated by the day. You explain that nothing has changed in the pacing of commissions, no one else seems to have suffered a loss of jobs nor money- that there is obviously something he is keeping from you and you need to know what. And yet, with all your knowledge, he deflects and denounces the whole thing.

Every dismissal felt like a personal insult. Did he think you were stupid? A child even, with all you had said gone out the window as quickly as you could bat an eye.

Your anger had risen tenfold, mind going back to the countless arguments that resembled one. All the times you were left in the dark, the hesitation to let you in on basic knowledge, you felt stuck in an endless, perpetuating cycle. And yet, never had he been so quick to disregard your feelings. Maybe it would've been more mature to re-approach the topic in a sensitive light, to explain to him how it made you feel but in the moment you let go of all of sensible reasoning and blew up.

Everything that was on your mind unloaded unto him like the storm surge of a hurricane, going back and forth from present and past you unleashed the wave of harsh words that would make anyone's' ears curl up into themselves.

You could tell Shiu was become irate. Good. That was what you wanted. For him to feel the transfer of anger that he caused would be the only thing to relinquish you of yours, and it only motivated you further. Seeing his hands seize on the wheel and his muscles tense through his shirt. It was like a physical trophy of your work until he snapped.

"ENOUGH, (Y/n)."

"Enough--?! --Who do you think you're talking-"

"It was to keep you safe."

"Safe?" You boom with faux humour, "I'm an assassin and damn good at my job! I don't need you to keep me safe- i need you to tell me what the hell is going on!"

"People have been dying if you cared to notice and they were 'damn good' at their jobs too! So yes it was to keep you safe and no i wont apologise." He raised his tone to match yours and you had to stop yourself from trying to cut into him again.

You've been in this situation too many times before but in a brief moment of clarity you could assess the true meaning of his words. The true meaning of his bearing.

Of course you weren't ignorant to the increase of complications during missions- hell, the agency was becoming quick to let go of anyone who made the slightest mistake, but that was just the way of the world and you weren't close with anyone who was affected. Shiu was though, and he had to fill the paper work and inform your bosses of the ones who didn't come back. He had to bear the brunt of all the loses which wouldn't have been anything more than an inconvenience until the wrong person got caught up in the mess. And the wrong person did, his friend - not that he'd ever admit it.

The anger of his voice turned to sorrow as you remembered it, his stance into fear and you realised, that pitiful truth, Shiu was scared. Oh how your words came back to haunt you, the silence in the air left room for regret and you took a deep sigh in, unsure of how to continue. You were still mad at him, regardless of his good intentions but the guilt you felt escaped into your voice as you started,

"I need the money, Shiu."

He kept his eyes trained ahead, resting further into his seat.

"I know, I'll give it to you."

"No, I need my job back."

And there was a pause. You waited, each passing second your doubt increased that he was going to respond.

"Okay...But, please, start off again with the smaller ones."

"For a week."

And the silence continued. You didn't argue on it again, the conversation ending without a verbal agreement because that's what you and Shiu did.

Create problems from silence and resolve them the same way.

[minugasakuranohana]

Kōyō and Mori related post, part 1

...about previous context for that problematic Mori's phrase from ch 37

[Part 2]

[Full post in Russian]

Three question for the first part and three for the second ~

Let's start! What did she said?

There's 3 eng version in the internet:

«Unfortunately, I still have to assist you in running the organisation» [link]

«But unfortunately, I have an inept boss to aid in reviving the organisation» [link]

«But sad to say, I need to help our unreliable boss get this organization back in order» [link]

In Japanese, she said: じゃが生憎と頼りない首領が組織を立て直す手伝いがあるでのう.

Without going into detail (there will be another post about that later, or read in russian), she said:

じゃが = but, 生憎と = unfortunately / sadly / sad to say

頼りない – adjective, usually means «untrustworthy», «unreliable», «not to be counted on». It's not «inept»

首領 (ボス) = boss, 'cause Asagiri wrote that we should read this like "bosu"

組織 = organization

立て直す: second base of verb 立てる + verb 直す = meaning of 立てる + again, back, or to repeat it = revive, get back in order, re-establish, restore...

手伝い = help / helper

She use ある ➡️ she meant "help"; this verb you can use only for lifeless things

ある = to be (for lifeless things)

でのう (this anime-language shit): 1) = から, expresses the reason; 2) (AI from HiNative opinion) something that adds confidence to the statement and emphasizes the speaker's conviction in his statement, like “certainly” or “undoubtedly”

She's funny. Her tongue could be as sharp as her blade!

What was it about?

It's hard to confide in Mori

She was talking about mafia leaders

Because one piece of shit (Ace) run for shelter as fast as conflict started; one vacancy of the executive is still open-but-close because of Dazai (and he really doesn't believe he will find the «reason living» in mafia anymore); and we also have Paul Verlaine, who's been sitting in his "office" somewhere since he became a Mafia member. Boss and Chuuya are the entire leadership in this arc. And Akutagawa directly disobeyed the order to fight with Tiger 👏

It's also about her trust

To begin with, she was captured by the agency because Mori chose this time to let her take Kyouka back. Kōyō wanted to do it days ago. And she was literally about to die 'cause the Guild chose the same time to attack. (And be saved by Yosano... 😨 No one planned that. A fuck-up is a fuck-up)

Mori knows it, Mori feels it

Upon returning, she immediately noticed details:

First: there's a bunch of corpses who are happy to meet her 🥳 Surreal surprise

Second: these bastards just let Q go and make some chaos. It's no better than that! If Atsushi and Dazai hadn't saved everyone, the rampage in the city would have reached the level of the prev boss' insanity. Kōyō would probably be thinking, «How could I leave you unattended? Are you saying that I can really just go away and keep my hair on? I'm not afraid of you; I'm afraid you're gonna go crazy without me»

The worst thing about this situation is that, although Mori's plans are extremely rational, they're based on a fragile probability. "Q probably won't be a big problem for all parts of the conflict (not for pm)." "Maybe Q will do what the boss asked." "Lovecraft will almost certainly be under effect of Dogra Magra." "It can't be that bad..." There was enough weakness in the plan. Kōyō obviously sensed it.

Even though «the boss's orders are absolute», it might be frightening to leave. Because there's always a risk. People don't go mad in the blink of an eye. At least the previous boss didn't. Plans can go to hell sometimes. Kōyō is grateful that Mori stopped him. She's afraid that once he'll become the same ones. She's afraid of losing control, like it was in the situation with Kyōka. There's no one around who could and would want to be pm boss. But if Mori lost his mind, she would stop him, wouldn't she?

And just to be clear, «Corruption?! Are you serious? — Dead serious — I wasn't there only for a few days. Why? How could you get this bingo?»

Sometimes this girl tries to play the disciplinarian role (but sometimes - no, she isn't 🤭)

She looks like a frightened child and a confident woman at the same time. And she isn't scared to «beat her enemies on the spot, so thoroughly that they can't fight back», even if her "enemy" is a mafia leader for a few minutes (but Mori knows abt it much more). Mori has been worried about the trust and loyalty from his subordinates since he became a boss. He get some extra reasons to worry in recent days. And she said straight, «No one can trust you»

«And you without help as without hands!» It's not romantic. No way.

What was it for?

It's a defensive reaction

She was uncomfortable with this dialogue. Mori triggered painful memories, and she felt insecure because he could find out that she was acting on her own free will by staying at the agency. Don't you remember, Mori started talking with her right after Chūya asked, «What about Akutagawa's punishment?» because he didn't follow orders? And she hit back with a verbal attack (and a little revenge), but a bit childish: «Boss-san is making silly things too! And no one believes in him!» 😝

The next sentences «The one to whom my hatred belongs is your predecessor. Right now, I'm feeling pretty good about being here / Right now, I'm fine with this place» softens the previous one.

We will never be 100% sure that we have made the right choice until we see the results. Kōyō herself sometimes has doubts about his decisions. She asks, tries to argue, feels anger... But life is a gamble, and the question is what you're betting on. Kōyō continues to choose him day by day. Even when it's hard, it's her choice.

And Kōyō crossed that line, which in her mind was the point of no return to the "radiant world", on her own. She murdered a lot of people in a rage, «just like a demon» (her point of view from Chapter 26)

She knows what hierarchy and mafia rules are. (And she doesn't know anything else) Kōyō doesn't hate her subordinates, only the former leader who ordered to kill her loved one. She doesn't even hate her fate or her past misfortune. Perhaps she simply did not need an abstract object to hate. Kōyō associates herself with darkness. Is she fine? Idk. Anyway, there were 7 or 8 years of Mori's leadership when violence was just one tool at the mafia's disposal to keep the city in balance.

Kōyō was able to understand that the Mafia isn't absolute evil. Dark, but not that bad. Her psychological defense mechanisms are very strong; she's already quite adapted to seeing and committing violence all the time. «Cruelty is not always evil. Evil is an obsession with cruelty» She remembers former boss's mafia and Mori's organization. She remembers this difference. In her opinion, it depends on the leader.

She respects Mori and trusts him

[Part 2]

[class1akids]

Do you think the ending would've been better if deku remained a U.A. teacher instead of being a tech hero?

I think the ending point for Deku is fine. Both being a teacher or being a tech hero or being a teacher who is a part time tech hero works perfectly fine for him.

I feel that the reason people feel so negative about is because we are missing crucial elements from Deku's perspective:

Did he consider becoming a tech hero but couldn't / did he instead choose teaching or did he settle for it?

We don't see if Deku tried to stay a tech hero but couldn't because of the state of tech wasn't there or if he already decided that once the embers are gone, he's done. We also don't know if Deku had any enthusiasm to become a teacher at UA or it was kind of offered to him and he thought, why not.

The manga with the information / vibe presented makes it seem like teacher was something he settled for and tried to be happy with but couldn't quite lie to himself and others about it. Which makes his character look weak and indecisive - back to his Ch 1 self who wants something but is also unsure if he deserves to try. Which makes him feel like a stagnant / flat character.

And I think also the fact that everyone knew about the suit but they kept it secret for him also doesn't work so well for Deku's own character (it works for Bakugou's). He was the one who wielded those quirks, who analyzed most everyone's quirk so if there was a suit in making, there is no better person to provide input and be involved in every step of the design and development phase than Deku.

So the fact that they didn't involve him means they thought he'd refuse and think it's too much money / effort wasted for something that's not needed and that those efforts could be spent elsewhere.

So then it all boils down to Deku's life being "fixed" by Bakugou, All Might and the others by basically telling him (again) that you don't know what you want, but we know what's best for you.

And for my taste, that makes Deku a character with very little agency and makes him feel like that all these past 400+ chapters, he learned nothing.

Compare Deku's case for example to Shouto's who is fundamentally very similar to Deku in that he bottles up things, has grown up not having much agency or self-perception, has been dehumanized the same way as Deku and is struggling also with similar sense of failure at the end.

Shouto also has good reasons to quit / disappear from the public eye with the family scandal still looming heavily and being out there not only exposes himself to criticism, but his family too. But he decides to face those difficulties, he keeps pushing on and yes, he relies on and accepts Class A's help and emotional support, but fundamentally he's the one carving his own path to his end goal.

So I think what's missing from Deku's narrative is being confident in who he is and being able to move forward after a short period of loss of self esteem maybe.

If the manga was longer, we could have had a 2-3 chapters long miniarc, where after Deku loses his embers, he starts to struggle in training against likes of Ojirou or Mineta, but then we get back his UA beginnings arc self and he starts to experiment with new ways of fighting, new equipment and get a triumphant moment of winning like how he won basically no quirks the SF race. Because he realizes that OFA was just his training wheel to reach his dream to be a hero even without a quirk.

And then having everyone's support, he graduates as the first quirkless person in the hero course. And then after that maybe he decides to go on teaching path, but in any case, he ends with a sense of triumph.

I think the ending Horikoshi wrote prioritizes Bakugou's arc over Deku's and it works well for Bakugou, but not so well for Deku. I do wonder if he ended it along what I outlined, couldn't there be a way to make Bakugou still Deku's biggest pillar of support, helping him and cheering him on all the way in a manner that respects both their arcs, gives them the same full circle but makes Deku feel like a character who's learned his own self-worth and is willing to act on it.

But I think that would have taken a longer time to develop.

Like I disagree with level of hate and hysteria the ending gets, but I do understand why people who were invested deeply in Deku's journey may feel betrayed by it.

[dollypopup]

sorry, still on this soapbox but

we have really, REALLY done Colin a disservice in this fandom. we spent so long viewing him primarily as a Love Interest and not as a Character. But when we see and analyze him as a character, so many of his actions make sense, and it becomes almost ridiculous, the dynamics we've imposed on this couple (yes, I'm talking about the 'Colin fucked up and needs to prove himself to Penelope' narrative) when there's so much more nuance and beauty to their pairing than we give them credit for

we as the audience focus so much on Penelope's perspective in their relationship, of course, because we have so much of her perspective in the show, and so our frustrations with Colin stem from that, but we get more insight into him than Penelope does. The 'I would never court her' scene that we've been livid over for years is considerably softened when we actually look at Colin as a character, and the circumstances around his actions.

Colin spends season 2 SAD. He is straight up not okay. We leave Colin in Season 1 freshly heartbroken and running away to Greece to heal. In Season 2, we meet him again, considerably more somber. Colin doesn't participate in the dances. He even says 'I'm just a spectator'. Colin talks about how he started a conversation with himself, tried to understand what he wants and how he feels. Colin offers Benedict shroom tea, and for a moment, JUST A MOMENT, we see the facade slip. His mask cracks. 'Are you quite alright, brother?' and then it's gone. Then he's cheerful again. Calm Colin. Nice Colin.

Colin who is okay.

But Colin is *not* okay. Colin completely isolates himself from women. Colin doesn't flirt, doesn't entertain female attention. Colin is heartbroken, trying to be better. But he views Penelope as a friend, a sacred relationship, a worthwhile relationship, and he can't bear to lose her. To him, Penelope is arguably his closest friendship. His best friend. And in an entire town full of people who don't listen to him, he thinks Penelope does. Unlike the typical dynamic of the ton, in which men are ONLY speaking to women by viewing them as potential sexual partners, Colin views Penelope as a whole person. She doesn't just exist as a romantic option to him, but as a vital connection in his life. That's why the 'I am a woman' 'You are. . .Pen' is so important to view as an act of love- Penelope is NOT just a woman as the ton sees her, good for marriage prospects and little else, Penelope is a complete person. Yes, she's a woman, but more importantly, she's PEN. She's a full human being. And he values her as such. We cannot say the same for the grand majority of men in his society. Tell me any other male-female friendships like that in the ton where that level of respect is given?

But for Penelope, it's hurtful, because she WANTS to be seen as a romantic option in his eyes. That's a fair feeling, though we as an audience should recognize that it can be both upsetting to Pen, and also deeply beautiful as a sentiment. Because of Penelope's hopes of Colin as a romantic prospect, she does not see that he is hurting. Because of our connection as a fandom to Penelope, we do not see it, either. But he *is* hurting. In all of Season 2 he's hurting. That's why he throws himself into the Jack mess. He wants, NEEDS a distraction. He wants to find a place in his world, his society. Honestly? He needs a win. He has spent the last year losing and losing and losing. Who can blame him for being sick of it? His engagement blows up, he finds out his family pays no attention to him, that no one cares about his agency, and he's publicly humiliated. If he invests, if he makes money, he might make more male connections. Might run in more important circles. Like his brothers do. Might prove himself. But Colin isn't friends with the men of the ton. We don't see ANY evidence that he has strong friendships with any of them. Because he isn't like them.

He is 22 years old. Treated like a child in his own family. When he talks about his travels, no one listens. Everyone dismisses him. 'Remarkable, yes, in the sense that I have many remarks about it'. Colin is invisible. He is trying to slot himself in his community, but he does not fit neatly into it. He connects with Will, a man outside his community, and Penelope, a woman also outside his community, because *Colin* exists outside his community. He's the foolish boy who fell headfirst for a woman who lied to him. He's the 'green' baby walking in his older brother's footsteps and unable to fill them. He doesn't behave the way other men of the ton do. He doesn't talk like other men of the ton do. Hell, he *apologizes* to women. We have men NOW in the MODERN ERA who don't even apologize to women.

His own *mother* doesn't even notice he was dating someone for several months in season 1. Colin is a pretty, empty ghost wandering around Mayfair, and so of course he's thrown into a locker room conversation with a bunch of guys who have never once seen a woman as a person, and doesn't relate to them. Colin's not joking and having fun with these men. We very purposefully do not see his reaction after he delivers the 'I would never court her' line.

Colin is uncomfortable around them, but he needs their help to make it up to Will, someone who was kind to him and who he looks up to. He has the mask on so firmly in that scene, it's physically obvious to see. If you compare his reactions around Penelope to his reactions around Fife, it's stark. With Penelope he's open, his eyes are soft, his expression is curious and kind, his shoulders are relaxed. Around Fife he's closed off, eyes hard, muscles tense. Who can blame him? He's acting. He's acting just like he's acting around Jack.

When we look at Colin as a whole character, we get insight into his actions and they make SENSE. The things he say that hurt Penelope are things that are actually defending her- Colin saying he wouldn't court her to those men in particular, is an act of caring. He is defending her in that scene. When a debutante is only good for being 'wed, bed, and bred' in their eyes, Colin saying no, that Penelope is worth more than that, that his connection to her isn't forged on wanting to fuck her, or exploit her, or treat her as a sexual object, is radical. Because anything else, ANYTHING else that he says that isn't an outright denial, puts Penelope in danger. He can't let them believe that the woman he cherishes so deeply he cannot even ENTERTAIN the idea of not talking to her is out here being ruined by his hands.

And when we see it that way, we see that, in reality, of all the men in the series, Colin is the one who has been kindest to his love interest. Colin is the one who has defended her, the one who has stuck his neck out for her, the one who has cared for her with absolutely no expectations of sex or romance in return.

Colin's relationship to Penelope is beautiful, and sure, she can be upset that it isn't in the exact shape she wants it to be, but I think if she takes a step back and looks at it more objectively, if WE take a step back and look at it more objectively, Colin has only ever gone into it with a big, earnest heart. Not PERFECTLY, of course, he isn't perfect, but with the best intentions, and with as much honesty as he can.

And I don't know why we don't celebrate him more for it

[i-write-shakespeare-not-disney]

Very curious about pro hero Deku one for hadestown au!!!

Oh bet!

So the way I see that one going is that Izuku asks Rody to go to Japan with him around when he's about to graduate UA, about to start a hero agency, etc.

However, due to everything that happened and heroes hanging up their capes when they were most needed, the amount of money cast to heroes went down, so that money isn't a driving factor. Think... teachers. You teach because you're passionate about it and want to do something good and help kids. Not for the money because we severely underpay teachers and it's awful. That happens to the hero career too.

Rody works on being a pilot, but it's a lot harder to do in Japanese. So he's picking up another job and Roro and Lala are in school, he's still figuring out the language etc

Then one day Lala becomes horribly sick and there's no clear reason why. Doctors can't tell, quirks can't tell, and she's getting worse.

She's close to dying when someone offers to cure her. In exchange for Rody helping with a quirk analysis. Rody, desperate to save Lala, agrees without a care. He just wants Lala safe and healthy, and Izuku— for all his strength and quirks— can't help here. He's been working himself to the bone and unintentionally unaware of what rody has been feeling and what he's about to do.

Suffice to say, the guy who cures Lala was also the one who infected her, all a ploy to get more people involved in quirk experimentation meant to get to the core of a quirk so that a person can mix them or extricate them or give them, inspired by AFOs ability, except they're looking for the science behind it.

Of course, this leaves the subjects brain pretty scrambled, leading to lapses in memory and stuff. So rody doesn't remember why he did it, how he got there, who was waiting for him.

Lala in this has a quirk where she sort of senses things, draws them, and they happen. It's brushed off at first, cute sketches of Izuku standing tall seen as her admiration, no correlation to the day Izuku wins Hero of the Year at a city festival. So she starts drawing rody and it's assumed that it's just her missing him since he went missing.

Then izuku notices. And he uses her drawings to find rody, but everyone there is... well. Almost like a drone. No thoughts in their heads.

And when rody sees him, rody panics.

He panics because the sight of izuku causes something, but he's not sure what and it's strong and he's saying these names that sound familiar but rody barely knows his own name, and he's scrambling through fractured memories for something but there's nothing and he lashes out because of it.

So now izuku makes a deal. We go a little into Hercules territory for this.

Rody for himself. Just let him get him home to his siblings, to his friends. And they can have izuku. They can dissect OFA.

And it's like sure. If he'll follow you.

At this another subordinate working there offers her own sort of nullification quirk, something that calms a person. But in order to keep the quirk active Rody cant see Izuku's face. It brings up too many emotions and will break the effects of the quirk because it's a very weak quirk.

So does Izuku keep his gaze ahead when he can't hear rody? Could he face Roro and Lala knowing he got that close only to be tricked and lose track of him again? Does he trust someone he doesn't know to help him? Does he hold faith and keep his sight forward, hoping against hope that the love rody held for him is enough to make him follow izuku out of bounds of the experiment site? Enough to heal him?

Or does he look back to be sure he hasn't lost the man he loves?

[linkspooky]

Jujutsu Kaisen, Chapter 213 Thoughts

Besides setting the entire fandom on fire, Sukuna’s ultimate objective being possessing Megumi’s body is a twist that just makes sense considering the themes of both the culling game arc, and the manga as a whole. Body-possession is a reoccurring idea, the manga starts with Yuji consuming a finger and having Sukuna take over his body, Geto’s body is stolen by Kenjaku a body hopping immortal, Riko Amanai was expected to give up her body as the star plasma vessel, every ancient sorcerer in the culling games is possessing the body of a modern day person.

Body possession, body horror, it’s something that happens over and over and for a manga where the main theme is how the lives of youths are continually taken away and sacrificed in the name of the previous generation and the status quo this just makes sense. MORE under the CUT. 

1. Mind, Body and Soul

Jujutsu Kaisen is a manga where the youth have very little rights, not just to make their own choices with their lives, but even in several case their bodily agency is wrested away from them. There are countless villains who mutilate, or even completely take possession of a young person’s body. 

In the first four chapters, Gojo’s interference doesn’t spare Yuji from his execution, it only delays it. The only reason he even gets to delay and live his life a little bit longeris because he willingly offers himself up to eat the fingers of Sukuna and be used as a vessel, a task he will get no reward for because he’s going to get executed anyway at the end. 

If you use the youth losing control of their bodies and becoming vessels, as a metaphor for losing control of their lives, from this point Yuji’s fate is sealed. He is no longer allowed to live his life the way he wants to, he’s given a choice that isn’t really a choice, die now, or die later.

Yuji is literally referred to as a vessel, an empty thing that only exists to be filled with something else. Yuji himself does not act like he believes he has free will or a choice in the matter, he refers to himself as a cog multiple times, he even refers to the job of collecting fingers Gojo gave him as a “Role” like he’s a character in a script. 

If Gojo’s goal is to create children who are free to live out their youths, think for themselves, and are allowed to grow up into their own people rather than existing to be tools of the elders then he has essentially failed with Yuji, Yuji doesn’t want to live his own life, he doesn’t expect even to grow up, he just mindlessly obeys what jujutsu society wants him to do and only sees himself as a cog. 

One of the first villains we are introduced to is Mahito, who while he does not take control of epople’s bodies, he touches their souls and warps them into a still living but horribly mutated version of themselves. e does not just do it to side characters or extras, we see him use his abilities on Junpei causing one more young life to be tragically cut short in the most horrific way possible. Junpei’s not just killed, his body is horribly violated and he’s reduced to a mindless thing that exists a few minutes in tremendous pain before it’s heart gives out.

It’s not just his life that’s taken from him, but his body as well. The next arc features Koichi, a character who is born with impressive and unique abilities as a sorcerer in exchange for a body that is barely able to live and in constant pain. Koichi’s body is not being possessed, but it’s not really his own. He’s not free to move around and be a part of the world. His body is like a painful cage with bars made of barbed wire, the more he struggles against it the more he hurts himself, every second of his existence is uncomfortable. The only way he can interact with the world at all is by puppeteering a series of fake bodies. 

This is another character who surprise surprise is butchered by Mahito, as a consequence for being desperate enough to try to make a deal to fix their body so they could gain a little freedom to leave their life support and hospital bed behind and be a part of the same world as everyone else. In the origin of obedience arc we are treated to the gruesome method of how Choso and his brothers acquire their bodies, by being forcefully inserted into a completely naked and helpless man. 

That’s why possession in Jujutsu Kaisen works so as a metaphor not just for the taking away of young people’s control of their lives, but also the way their bodies are violated, physically, and also yes sexually the subtext is there. Choso and his brothers themselves are the result of a woman’s body getting experimented on, forcefully impregnated, violated (once again... probably sexually) all for the sake of Kenjaku a one thousand year old elder. 

Move forward to the star plasma vessel arc, there is Riko Amanai who is expected to give up her body for the sake of the greater good, literally merging with Tengen to become someone and something else. 

There is also Toji who is rejected by his clan and has abuse heaped upon him, because he was born with a body unable to use cursed energy that the Zen’in Clan deemed wrong. Despite being just as competent as sorcerers like Gojo and Geto he’s no longer considered even human and refers to himself as a monkey. When Toji returns in the Shibuya arc, it’s at the behest of a necromancer named Grandma. 

In the volume extras it states Grandma kidnaps her grandchildren as young children, and basically grooms them into willingly offering their bodies to her to make them into puppets to summon vessels for dead spirits. Then there is Ui Ui who has to literally offer his body up to die as a part of his older sister’s Mei Mei’s technique, he’s expected to sacrifice himself for her benefit and exist to help her even though he is so much younger than her.

Then there is the most obvious candidate of bodily possession, Geto’s corpse is stolen away from them and turned into a puppet for Kenjaku, it’s been his modus operandi for one thousand years, taking the bodies of other, younger people and then using it for their own benefit. Kenjaku not only violated Choso’s mother, created the Death Painting Siblings and then abandoned them (they are literally aborted fetuses, the child abuse metaphor there is not subtle), they are also responsible for hundreds of people living in the modern era (including children like sumiki) having their bodies taken away from them by ancient sorcerers who want to participate in the culling games. 

It’s also pointed out frequently that a lot of these ancient sorcerers have basically no motivation or reason at all that would explain why they are so desperate to steal someone’s life away to prolong their own. 

Pompadour guy is a walking apettite, nothing will satisfy him and he’s killed another living human being, and he’s probably not going to be satisfied by that either. 

Uro talks about how in their first life, they were a victim never allowed to have a name and a face, but they quite literally have not only made someone else a victim, they’ve stolen away the name and the body of a completely innocent woman. They take another life away as their life was taken. But if they’re owed retribution for the tragic backstory they suffered in a previous life, then isn’t the body they’ve taken owed their own retribution. Which is my point exactly, these older sorcerers representing the previous generation are continually stealing from the youth, but like, they aren’t even aware of what they want. 

Kenjaku, Uro, Pompadour, they’re taking for the sake of taking. The bodies are a metaphor for the ability and freedom to live in this world. 

Choso himself even states that the reason he sided with the curses over the humans is because he believed that the bodies of his brothers would be rejected, which would make it harder and more painful for both of them to live in this world... which true, they’re experiments, if they went to jujutsu college they probably would have just been executed, Nobara killed them pretty guilt free. They weren’t seen as human or even people with the right to live. 

Kenjaku even entices the united states and other world powers to invade the culling games in order to kidnap sorcerers, so their bodies can be experimented on by the state for its own gain. They are reducing the bodies of human beings to resources. 

It’s clear over and over again, bodies, especially the bodies of young people are abused, violated and outright stolen from them by older people, people in power, even their direct family or parents for their own selfish gain. 

Which is where we finally get to both Megumi and Tsumiki, and while their possession is tragic it’s almost the perfect completion of this metaphor. Megumi’s life has never been his own to begin with. He’s a human being who was sold by his father, you know, sold, like he’s an object or a slave. 

The fact that he was born with the Ten Shadows Technique has just made him more or less a tool to be passed around and utilized by others, Naobito wished to make him the head of the clan because of his inheritance of the ten shadows, Toji sold him for money, Gojo arrived and positioned him as Megumi’s savior, but really he just recruited Megumi to his own side because of the Ten Shadows Technique was a useful tool to Gojo’s own agenda. Megumi, and by extension Tsumiki are children who were abandoned by the adults around them and because of that have had very little control of their own lives.

 They are children in foster care with no money, and no ability to survive in this world and the people who should be doing their jobs and helping them are exploiting them instead. 

These two children, with no power, control or choices over their own lives have now even lost their own bodies, both of them taken away by elders who’s only wish is to exploit them for their own personal gain... but really, weren’t they already being exploited? 

Megumi was never free to control his own life. He never possessed his own body, he always belonged to someone else. Megumi’s lack of control is just a lot more literal now. 

[hell-of-peccability]

pulling aus out of my ass #1:

> kuni(kida/haru) !!

okay. so. hear me out.

them. as the same person. for an au.

(for clarity's sake, I'm referring to all of the Saiki family by their first names. if you arent aware of them; Kusuo = Saiki K , Kusuke = Saiki's Brother , Kuniharu = Saiki's dad , Kurumi = Saiki's mom. I had to look up his parents names for this so I don't blame anyone.)

MY REASONING:

almost the same haircut??? definitely the same bangs. kunikida's hair would probably poof out the way kuniharu's does if he snipped off the rattail.

people's hair typically gets darker as they age (blond to brown)

people's facial structure typically rounds out a bit as they age as well

both wear rather similar glasses -- kunikida switching up his pair at some point would logically make sense.

kunikida to kuniharu. even if kunikida's first name is doppo, if this was some sort of "lets change my identity to blend in with normal society" he may keep "kuni" as a tribute to kunikida. (especially since 'kunikida' is the penname part of what the actual author went by, among other pennames)

it would make (some) sense for kusuo's dad to have some form of ability, as would result in his psychic-ness.

taste in women;

kurumi definitely looks similar to sasaki (which can be interpreted as probably kunikida's ideal woman), kuni(kida/haru) would probably find kurumi attractive, "Kurumi is a kind and gentle mother [...] She is also very trusting of and never doubts other people. However, when driven pushed her limits, Kurumi becomes scary and hunts down anyone who threaten her family. She loves her family a great deal." (saiki k wiki) this description of someone WOULD probably be close to his ideal, as kurumi is pretty much the ideal mom in herself. I believe she's close enough to where kunikida (if he's actually into women & not secretly gay) would settle for, if not seek her out.

THE BLATANT PROBLEM:

Aside from, yk, this not being the same fandom, the biggest issue comes with Saiki Kuniharu's personality.

"Kuniharu is unreliable, reckless and slovenly, often begging with disgusting teary faces towards his son. He is a doormat who is always nice and respectful to people no matter how rude or scornful they are to him, such as his boss, who orders him to lick his shoes, and his father-in-law, who harbors a strong hatred towards him. On occasion, he can be self-serving." (saiki k wiki)

I think the best reason that can be given here, is it's dazai's fault. Dazai manages to successfully drive kunikida so insane that he flees not only the agency, but yokohama, going to hidari wakibara to escape.

Kuniharu could be Kunikida after his ideals are (mostly) shattered, and his personality snaps. He suddenly conforms to authority, loses his schedule, begs in the same way dazai always harassed him with, either as a mask to hide under, or because he was driven to become that.

or, in other words, Kunikida lost his shit (*cough* possibly due to the current & former manga arcs *cough*) and ran off to start a new life, without his notebook, his schedule, and the ideals he lived his life by.

OTHER AU DETAILS:

If Kunikida's ability relies on his notebook, it would be pretty easy for him to shove that thing in a drawer and pretend to be normal. Maybe it so far as kuni's mind was wiped, which would account for Kusuo never reading that in his mind. It's just gone.

Kusuo wouldn't necessarily be aware of ability users if they weren't in his mind-reading vicinity, as he doesn't seek out psychics but he is aware of what they are when he gets close to them. He may not be aware of Yokohama due to this. (if any of this is wrong, shut up.)

Kusuke (given his mega high iq) is probably known by some of the BSD cast (for instance, Ranpo or Dazai) and dislikes them for being like his shitty brother.

Kuni HAS to have at least once accidentally used his powers and thought Kusuo was fucking with him. Or better yet, has had that happen enough to where he's afraid of writing because Kusuo will fuck with him. Maybe he even makes Kusuo write things for him whilst eying him suspiciously. Kusuo has likely chalked all of those thoughts up to Kuni being an idiot, and hasn't thought any more of it.

TLDR:

kunikida is kuniharu because this is MY corner of the internet and I SAID SO.

fuck you im claiming this is my new au that i cradle close to my heart. we are ignoring all the basic reasons why this is impossible kunikida just shrunk to 5'9", and changed his birthday and blood type to spite YOU.

i,,,, may need to write something off this.

[growling]

for the ask game (with either raincode or danganronpa) :

👛 your favorite rare pair?

💕a ship you’d defend with your life?

♠️ favorite protagonist?

(from this ask game)

👛 your favorite rare pair?

I don't think much about danganronpa shipping anymore (my brain is now just permanently rotating enoshima, kamukura, komaeda, ouma and kiibo there like rotisserie chickens instead, i am TOO BUSY!!!), so rain code it is: yumayomi/kokohell/the japanese side calls it yumayomi ig and the english side does not call it anything because no one except me and like 2 other people care. yuma & yomi are just so objectively hilarious as a duo and the possibilities of putting them in Situations are fucking endless nobody does it like they do it. every day another yuma and yomi au idea establishes itself in my mind i am running out of storage room i have so many other things i should care about that aren't wacky rain code yaois but guess what i cannot they won't let me

(also fubuyomi honorable mention. I have to mention fubuyomi they also drive me but I have zero words to describe it. oh and worshipper x priest despite me keeping silent about it for a solid few months i did not forget religious serial killer toxic sludge yaoi anyway have you listened to we will commit wolf murder by of montreal for no reason in particular)

💕a ship you’d defend with your life?

zero hesistation ougoku danganronpa like what is you people's PROBLEM??? "it's abusive" jesse what the fuck are you talking about. Ouma did not "manipulate" him Gokuhara knew exactly what he was doing. Ouma explicitly told him his plans for the Insect Meet and Greet in the FTE's right before the event, and Gokuhara got mad at him because he lied about liking bugs, (which Ouma had to do because you've all seen how Gokuhara reacts to people that don't. you've seen it) NOT because he suddenly realized he was being manipulated or something. So many people dismiss the sheer amount of agency Gokuhara actually had in chapter 4, in favour of painting the situation as just "poor stupid baby gonta got tricked into murder by the big bad ouma :((((" while. he is not STUPID (HE IS LITERALLY A SCIENTIST??) he was not COERCED into his crimes, he was a WILLING ACCOMPLICE!!!!!! I FEEL LIKE I'M LOSING MY GODDAMN MIND!!!!! He did it in a misguided attempt at mercy killing his classmates after finding out the world got fucked and everything sucks now. There are multiple pieces of dialogue that highly imply Ouma did in fact also want to mercy kill the class - which also makes sense as it would end the killing game (you know his. main. true. goal.) This would mean that he only started his plan to become the “mastermind” after Gonta told him to not die with him <- this one's quoted from my favourite dr theory blog jacksmusesdrv3 hello hava good day I couldn't find another way to word this myself. "Ouma faked being sad Gokuhara's about to be/got executed in front of him" his reaction literally parallels Kuzuryuu's to Pekoyama's death buddy. buddy. Ouma's entire thing is that he lies about lying about lying about lying WHY are you taking his word at face value why are you believing whAT THE LIAR IS TELLING YOU?????? WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING. PUT ME OUT OF MY FUCKING MISERY I CANNOT TAKE THIS. People treat Gokuhara like he's stupid (which is "funny" (he said through clenched teeth) since isn't that the entire thing everybody ingame severely underestimates him and then. i can't) while he and Ouma are two of some of the smartest people in the game. And! Gokuhara is perfectly capable of lying and having ulterior motives we've all saw him do that right :)))) multiple times right :)))))) Gokuhara even SAYS Ouma didn't trick him BECAUSE HE DIDN'T. HE DID NOT. These two have the some of the most genuine dynamics in dr, and the best in ndrv3, and you dare disrespect them like this. shame on you. SHAME. People always assume the worst in Ouma, and the best in Gokuhara. This is my personal hell. I am not okay.

♠️ favorite protagonist?

Easily Yuma, beating literally all of dr's protags (though dr1 Naegi has second place. I love you Naegi Makoto). Where do I even start? I think I'm too tired after the above rant to articulate myself anymore and I think if I wasn't that essay would take an entire week to finish lmao.

Thanks for the ask anon :3 !!!

[spaceratprodigy]

OCs as Obscure References

Thank you for the tags @darkfire1177 @bokatan @hibernationsuit 💖💕

👇❤💜 Faith, Iris, Maril, AND Poppy 💙🖤👇

Name:

Captain Faith Hawthorne

Animal:

Rat / Bunny / Sprat

Colors:

❤🖤💛

Month:

August

Songs:

Pressure – Billy Joel

Chop Suey! – System of a Down

Autoclave – The Mountain Goats

Angel with a Shotgun – The Cab

I Think We're Alone Now (Cover) – Billie Joe Armstrong

In Your Eyes – Peter Gabriel

God Only Knows – The Beach Boys

The Longest Time – Billy Joel

Number:

2

Plants:

Peony / Spider Lily

Smells:

vanilla and sweet bakery smells, old books and paper smells, a nice cologne, the smell of the forest when she would go hiking on Earth, gasoline (x)

Gemstone:

Villiaumite / Peridot

Time of Day:

Sunrise / Middle of the Night

Season:

Spring / Autumn

Places:

Fallbrook, Devil's Peak Station, Botanical Lab, Edgewater, Grand Colonial Hotel Penthouse Suite, Purpleberry Orchards

Food:

Empanadas, Rice, Sofrito, Sweets and Pastries, Cheese, Potatoes

Drinks:

Water, Tea, Orange Juice, Milk, Rum

Element:

Fire

Astrological Sign:

Leo

Seasonings:

Adobo, Sazón

Sky:

Full of Stars

Weather:

Warm Spring Day

Weapons:

The Vermin II

Hunting Rifle Hyper

Phin's Phorce (sentimental)

Social Media:

Tumblr

Makeup Product:

Black Nail Polish

Candy:

Dark Chocolate

Method of Long Distance Travel:

Spaceship (via The Unreliable)

Art Style:

Art Nouveau / Baroque

Fear:

loneliness, alcoholism, addiction, abuse, not being good enough, the drastic consequences of failing or not making the "right" choice, how many people she's hurt, never being safe, never being happy, whether or not she's capable of love or being loved back, never finding comfort, her numbness and anger consuming her

Mythological Creature:

Phoenix

Piece of Stationary:

An old, worn, well loved paper. The edges have started turning brown, on it is written all sorts of calculations and schematics that probably only make sense to her, some doodles in the margins where she was lost in thought.

Three Emojis:

⭐🐀📚

Celestial Body:

Cone Nebula / Carina Nebula / Eye of God

Name:

Miss Iris

Animal:

Deer / Bear / Radstag / Yao Guai

Colors:

💜💙🖤❤

Month:

December

Songs:

Invisible Touch – Genesis

Everybody Wants You – Billy Squier

Black Sheep – Metric

I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For – U2

I Want You to Want Me – Cheap Trick

Babe – Styx

All Night Forever – TWRP

Number:

4

Plants:

Iris / Forget Me Not / Hyacinth / Lily of the Valley

Smells:

gentle floral scents, wood and sawdust, the smells of spices and nice hearty soups cooking, petrichor (x)

Gemstone:

Rhodolite Garnet / Scorodite

Time of Day:

Sunset

Season:

Winter

Places:

Red Rocket Truck Stop, Sanctuary, Valentine Detective Agency, The Third Rail, Diamond City Radio, Atom Cats Garage

Food:

Soups, Fruits, Veggies, Breads, Breakfast Foods

Drinks:

Coffee, Milkshake, Fruit Juice, Whiskey

Element:

Earth / Water

Astrological Sign:

Sagittarius

Seasonings:

Garlic Powder, Onion Powder, Rosemary, Parsley, Coriander

Sky:

Warm Sunset Colors

Weather:

Chilly Jacket Weather

Weapons:

Agamemnon the Fuck Upper (10mm pistol)

Amadeus (rifle)

Le Boom Stick Terribles (combat shotgun)

Social Media:

Pinterest

Makeup Product:

Dark Eyeshadow

Candy:

Chocolate with Caramel / Toffee

Method of Long Distance Travel:

Walking

Art Style:

Rococo / Art Deco / Impressionism

Fear:

losing everything and everyone she loves all over again, not being good enough, not being able to help or save people, causing harm or pain to others, being a burden, never being loved, never being wanted, never being able to free herself, never being able to rebuild a new life with people to love and be loved back by, failing her son, becoming a mother again, failing as a mother again

Mythological Creature:

Siren / Fairy

Piece of Stationary:

A love letter handled with the utmost care. She poured her heart into her elegantly written words. The precision is not lost on you, she wants it known you were worth the time. She signs her name with a lipstick kiss that makes your heart flutter. The parchment smells slightly like her gentle perfume.

Three Emojis:

💋💐🎭

Celestial Body:

Fireworks Galaxy / Pandora's Cluster

Name:

Maril Highwind

Animal:

Crow

Colors:

🖤💙💚💛

Month:

March

Songs:

Shipmeisters' Shanty – Yoko Shimomura

Traverse Town – Yoko Shimomura

The Afternoon Streets – Yoko Shimomura

A Twinkle in the Sky – Yoko Shimomura

Asteroid Attack – Yoko Shimomura

Number:

21

Plants:

Hydrangea / Morning Glory / Sunflower

Smells:

oil, grime, workshop smells, ink, parchment, wood, paint, dusty old books, the smell of food cooking in the Twilight Town Bistro (x)

Gemstone:

Azurite / Malachite

Time of Day:

Early Afternoon

Season:

Summer

Places:

Traverse Town, Hollow Bastion, The Grid, 100 Acre Wood, Twilight Town

Food:

Sea Salt Ice Cream, Sugary Skies Ice Cream, Royalberry Ice Cream, Carrot Potage, Beef Sauté, Tarte aux Fruits

Drinks:

Lemonade, Limeade, Orange Juice, Apple Cider, Hot Chocolate

Element:

Lightning / Air

Astrological Sign:

Aries

Seasonings:

Basil, Oregano, Cumin

Sky:

Clear Blue

Weather:

Perfect Summer Day

Weapons:

Custom Twin Shooters / Rifle

Social Media:

Instagram

Makeup Product:

Sparkly Cosmetic Stars

Candy:

Sour Gummy Worms / Cotton Candy

Method of Long Distance Travel:

Gummi Ship

Art Style:

Futurism / Neon Art

Fear:

abandonment, something bad happing to her family and friends, not being able to protect the people she cares about, the darkness, her world disappearing while she's away

Mythological Creature:

Wyvern / Harpy

Piece of Stationary:

A stack of worn, rolled up scrolls. The dustier ones are filled with spells and runes you're not quite sure how to read. The ones that smell of inks and paints are beautiful illustrations of various gummi ship designs. The newest scrolls are countless blueprints, they are quite fascinating! Many are for building gummi ships, some are for custom weapons and defense systems.

Three Emojis:

✨🛸🤖

Celestial Body:

Cosmos Redshift 7 / Saturn

Name:

Poppy

Animal:

Snake / Deathclaw

Colors:

❤🖤

Month:

May

Songs:

Foreign Object – The Mountain Goats

Choked Out – The Mountain Goats

Raining Blood – Slayer

Light Up the Night – The Protomen

I Am... All Of Me – Crush 40

Want You Gone – Jonathan Coulton

Number:

7

Plants:

Poppy / Bleeding Heart

Smells:

Blood, Filth, Campfire, Mildew, Foul Stench of Death

Gemstone:

Cuprite / Amber

Time of Day:

Evening

Season:

Summer / Autumn

Places:

Nuka-World, Grandchester Mystery Mansion, Pickman Gallery, The Combat Zone, Goodneighbor

Food:

Candies, Jerky, Noodles

Drinks:

Nuka-Cherry, Smoothie, Slushie

Element:

Fire

Astrological Sign:

Gemini

Seasonings:

Paprika, Cinnamon, Crushed Red Pepper

Sky:

Dark and Cloudy

Weather:

Stormy and Slightly Windy

Weapons:

Disciples Blade (from Nisha)

Pickman's Blade

Chain-Wrapped Aluminum Baseball Bat

Triple-Hooked Meat Hook

Social Media:

Twitter

Makeup Product:

Red Lipstick

Candy:

Cherry Flavored Candies

Method of Long Distance Travel:

Walking / Train

Art Style:

Expressionism / Surrealism

Fear:

weakness, not being able to defend herself, being captured or imprisoned in any way, loss of autonomy in any way

Mythological Creature:

Hellhound

Piece of Stationary:

An old, torn, crumpled up piece of paper. It's covered in dirt, or maybe that's soot. Did someone try to burn this? The handwriting is sloppy, but the words tell a story. Perhaps a diary entry. It's hard to read, but it's heartbreaking, desperate. This is something someone had to tell, to get it out of their system. It looks as if they tried to destroy it when they were done but swiftly changed their mind. Maybe, in the end, they hoped someone would find it, someone would know their story, maybe even find comfort in it that they're not alone if they've been forced to endure the same pain.

Three Emojis:

🗡💀🍒

Celestial Body:

Sun / Engraved Hourglass Nebula

–

open tag to anyone who wants to jump in!

[walkawaytall]

Audiobooks for which I think the narration vastly improves the book consumption experience:

The Anthropocene Reviewed by John Green, narrated by John Green - this is John’s first non-fiction book and his narration of the book imbues the text with the right balance of emotion. I cry every time I listen to it, especially the chapter “Googling Strangers” (a version of which you can hear on the podcast that the book kind of spun off from for free if you want). I think John was the perfect narrator for this book and I can’t imagine anyone else reading it. In case you’re wondering, my favorite chapter is “Bonneville Salt Flats”.

The Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins, narrated by Tatiana Maslany — Tatiana is an actress (I mainly know her from an arc on Heartland and a couple of episodes of Parks and Rec, but she was apparently the main character in Orphan Black and has done a bunch of other stuff) and this really comes through in her narration — in a good way. She’s a fantastic voice for Katniss’ inner monologue and I don’t find her read of other character’s voices distracting or confusing in any way. Granted, I knew the stories before listening to the audiobooks, but I enjoyed these so much that, not only did I buy them so I would stop using up Hoopla borrows on them, I also have suggested them to like ten people this year and looked to see if Tatiana had narrated anything else that I might find interesting (she hasn’t done any other audiobooks from what I can tell, which is a real shame).

The Truly Devious Series by Maureen Johnson, narrated by Kate Rudd - I also went looking for anything else narrated by Kate Rudd and was not disappointed — she’s narrated over 500 books, including some of John Green’s novels. But the Truly Devious series is just really fun. It’s a YA murder mystery series. The first three center around the same mystery while the next two (and I assume any subsequent additions) are standalones with the same central cast of characters. Kate does an excellent job of reading the engaging source material and I think I have enjoyed every book I’ve heard her read; I just also happen to really like this series.

I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy, narrated by Jennette McCurdy — I think for a memoir as heavy as this one, it only makes sense for Jennette to read her own words. The book is great, her narration is great, but it’s probably not for everyone. Jennette’s story of becoming a well-known child actress at the behest of her mother only to realize once her mom died of cancer that their relationship was abusive is somewhat harrowing, but there is hope woven in as well.

Thistlefoot by GennaRose Nethercott, narrated by January LaVoy — this book is really good but it also gutted me (I won’t spoil anything, but do maybe look up content warnings prior to consuming) and January LaVoy did a really good job. If her name sounds familiar to my Star Wars peeps, it probably is: she read the audiobook for Bloodline, some of the stories in the From A Certain Point of View series, and the new recording of The Courtship of Princess Leia (lol) among others, but she has also narrated loads of non-Star Wars material. Loved this book, loved her narration of it.

Special mention:

The All Souls Trilogy by Deborah Harkness, narrated by Jennifer Ikeda — this is a special mention because I do not actually suggest these books at all. The first one starts out fairly promising with a seemingly interesting and strong main character who suddenly loses all of her personality and agency the moment she meets a hot vampire, and it’s not because she’s being compelled or anything interesting like that. By the end, the only “character” I really liked was the house that Diana’s aunts owned? (Well, I also spent a chunk of the first book hoping that the weird number of times Matthew warned Diana that his stallion bites would turn out to be foreshadowing that the horses were all vampires, but that unfortunately never panned out.) Anyway, these books are not good but I am convinced I kept listening to them even after swearing off the series after the first book because of Jennifer’s narration. And then they switched narrators for the weird little follow-up fourth book about Phoebe becoming a vampire (Time’s Convert) and I wasn’t able to finish it. (And that is not me saying that the narrator of Time’s Convert isn’t good. She narrated Leia, Princess of Alderaan and also did the Leia chapters in The Princess and the Scoundrel, which means I have told multiple people that I wish she would have read the whole book rather than switching off with whoever did Han’s chapters. She’s a fine narrator. What I’m saying is that Jennifer Ikeda was good enough to keep me listening even when I hated what was being read to me while another perfectly fine narrator couldn’t do that, and that’s saying something.)

[ravenkinnie]

i love love love the way you write jinx and the way you talk about her and her relationships!!! not to be annoying bc a lot of ppl in the fandom are like 16/17 but the general interpretation of jinx as little more than a victim of her circumstances and silco’s manipulation who should make up with her sister, be caitvi’s slightly annoying third wheel and ekko’s (or lux? lmao nothing against either ship but yk) quirked up gf is soooo boring (like god forbid a girl contains multitudes and is both a meow meow and an absolute cunt) and your take on her is such a breath of fresh air! not sure if you talked about this in a post already but what are your hopes in general for the new season and ofc for jinx in particular?

❤️❤️❤️ that's my pookie and even tho I'm hoeing across runeterra she will always be the one

no fr fr and listen I do feel like I'm fighting in a kindergarten when I hate because I realise it's cause everyone I'm beefing with is 18 and just likes the same YA archetypes as everyone else at that age but if 10k bitches can post it on ao3 I can hate on it. especially because it erases a supremely well done character that they made out of a lol champion I wouldn't even think twice about when she first released like that's a talent and that's work

and also if people want to complain about female characters in media it feels disingenuous to then remove agency from complicated female characters we do have to make them one dimensional - like one thing you cannot say about jinx is that she's flat - in personality I mean cause well. she is an active dynamic character with insane narrative potential and a lot of layers and being both a victim and a victimiser is an important part of that

my main hopes for season 2 are honestly

*I hope its consistent internally with its own ideology </3 I think s1 at the end starts unraveling a lil because it seems to despair for this both sides ass take but it just wouldn't make any sense with league lore or the show itself. here I mostly fear for ekko gkbknj

*everybody should become a somewhat worse person, like vi provably will because she will become an enforcer, caitlyn seems to also be heading for some corruption arc, obv viktor is there, so I think this will be fulfilled teehee

*I want jinx to have her own arc and I mean an arc where she develops her own goal and motivations outside other characters too and maybe this goal will be to love evil till the day she dies, ill take it!! I just think seeing jinx grow outside that child/flighty troublemaker into a full on villain/terrorist will be fantastic and will also give her actual league lore another layer that hopefullyyyy they can continue to build on (and they will never stop banking on jinx like that's basically leagues mascot)

*mel survives </3 like it would be way too much of a loss of a great character to give her so little storyline of her own, she needs to be in s2

*overall, sorry to be a freak but I'm a tragedy lover and enjoyer and I know they are tied to champion lore somewhat now but I still hope it ends sad or bittersweet for everyone. and when you say tragedy people often think of character death but that's probably the least tragic ending you can give a bitch, the true hollowness in losing everything you once were and could have been is what im talking about!!

*I did say this before but I hope jinx kills imagine dragons in arcane universe. first of all they are touring in israel so they deserve that but also it would be really funny to see them on her list of victims like just whole ass imagine dragons under silco or sth

[youareinlove]

I don’t know if you’ve ever done it, but have you ever wrote one long analysis of cardigan and the whole teenage love triangle?

i have a breakdown of folklore as an album that touches on the teenage love triangle, but i didn't go as in-depth as i would like to and talked more about how the songs related to folklore's overall themes as an album versus individual inspirations. also i think my opinion on some of the inspiration behind it has become more well-rounded so i'll put more of that here

so i think most people know by now that augustine, betty, and james are the main players of the folklore love triangle. cardigan = betty's perspective, betty (song) = james's perspective, and august = augustine's perspective. the most fundamentally important part of understanding the love triangle is that taylor is all three of them.

cardigan so cardigan is the first we hear of the teenage love triangle on folklore, which i think is so interesting because it's not the obvious choice. while betty (song) and august are narrated by teenagers (and you can TELL), cardigan is clearly narrated by an older betty who has done some maturing. the story's told from the perspective of someone who has processed what happened, while the other two (especially august) feel like active processing. cardigan tells the same story that betty (song) does, but in a much more vague way, which confused me initially but now makes sense to me because the song isn't really about the events that happened, betty (song) does that job. cardigan is an intensive look at how those events impacted betty as a person. betty, presumably in her teenage years and during the bulk of her relationship with james, is outlined as someone who doesn't have the ability to validate herself and needs to get that from someone else. we can assume that this is because of 1) daddy issues ("leaving like a father") and 2) the world invalidating her perspective ("when you are young they assume you know nothing"). she gets that validation from james, her boyfriend ("hand under my sweatshirt, baby kiss it better," "and when i felt like i was an old cardigan, under someone's bed / you put me on and said i was your favorite"), but loses it very suddenly when he cheats on her and breaks her heart ("a friend to all, is a friend to none / chase two girls, lose the one"). it's a formative moment for her because the relationship was her lifeline in many ways and not having that hurts her all over again ("you drew scars, around my scars, and now i'm bleeding"). the bridge talks about james rushing to fix things, but also it isn't really about that because it isn't about him. it's about how she had to learn to give herself what she was looking to james for, and she does ("cause i knew everything when i was young"). she honors her own perspective, voice, and agency, and the fact that she was perfectly capable the entire time. the point isn't that he put her on and said she was his favorite, the point is that she doesn't need him to do that anymore but had to learn that the hard way. starting the story with cardigan seems like a questionable decision because of how mature it is, but it also makes sense in a lot of ways because knowing how the events of the story affected betty is pretty crucial to understanding betty (song). also i think there's something to be said about how she chose to begin with the woman's perspective.

august next we get to hear from augustine. augustine is the "other woman" or the one james cheats with, and her sympathetic portrayal is very, very important (more on that later). we get to know that she was really in love with james and didn't feel casual about him at all, but was treated casually because he just didn't like her the way she liked him. the song is very much her processing this and feeling used and discarded, but also kind of dejectedly recognizing that she never had a shot because he was never really hers. august and foolish one really are sisters in that way. also there's like, a heavy implication that james was her first time (iykwim) and that's part of why it hurts so much that it ended the way it did. i think the best part of august is the way that she shows us without directly telling us the differences between how augustine and betty experienced their relationship with james. betty gets closure, augustine doesn't. betty (in cardigan) has verse after verse of different moments with james, because she was with him for years, but augustine talks about the moments during the summer (many of which are from like, the same day) over and over because that's all she had. it's subtle but it's there

betty (song) there is something so very intentional about the guy getting to say his piece last (i have no other elaboration lmfao, just wanted to start off with that). so betty (song) is like, the most clear-cut about What Happened which i believe is because betty and august have to process and think about how it affected their life and their person but james just gets to think about the story because he was the one fucking around and hurting other people. he knows he needs to apologize, and i don't feel the need to elaborate on that apology too much because it's like, in the lyrics lol. but i think betty (song) showcases the closure betty got that augustine didn't. whether or not she took him back is up for debate, and whether or not the apology is good is also up for debate, but at the end of the day neither of those things matter because the point is that it's an open-ended resolution to the story. you get to see how much he cares about betty and how little he cares about augustine (just a summer fling indeed).

the gender of it all it's impossible to ignore gender here because it's SO important to the story, specifically for betty and james. a lot of betty's initial struggle of being invalidated and diminished is because she's a smart teenage girl, and there's nothing society hates more than a young girl with opinions. they're both young teenagers, but the dichotomy of how their youth factors into their story is very intentional. for betty, she's told she "knows nothing" because she is young. her perspective is considered less important, she's made to doubt herself as so many young girls are when it comes to their instincts. even though adult betty is able to recognize that she was right the whole time and "knew everything when i was young," one of the greatest pains of the relationship for her was the way she was forced into that recognition. for james, he gets to say "i'm only seventeen, i don't know anything." he gets to dodge responsibility and make excuses for himself because of his age, and society is like "ok makes sense." his wrong perspective is only propped up and validated, which is a stark contrast to how betty feels. for augustine, as the "other woman," it would be easy for the narrative to encourage the popular and kinda sexist narrative that she got in the way of the relationship and was a homewrecker/evil mistress. but instead, she gets to be a teenage girl who was hurt. the narrative tells you that she's a kid who maybe made a mistake but it doesn't blame her. that's a luxury that's usually only afforded to men (and the luxury james takes advantage of).

real life inspiration i have to keep this part short bc i'm about to hit character limit but there are shades of her relationship with jake in august (having your first time and it feeling special but then being discarded and feeling kinda used) and some of the hurt around it. her relationship with harry (see: 1989 vault) feels like a driving force around the love triangle as well, because it's a very similar story. and i also think that the summer of 2016 with joe is a part of all this. people have said that august feels a lot like if cruel summer went the other way and they're right (again, there's some bits and pieces that are more sex-adjacent but that's another thing). and some of the references to betty's mental health and how james made things feel ok is very her & joe in 2016. it's kind of a lot of different events in her life and i think writing the love triangle helped her unpack how some of them led to each other. also impossible to ignore the similarities between how the world invalidated her for years and how the world invalidates betty

[lordelmelloi2]

I pretty much fell for this tweet:

And I played through the event the past few days.

It was a really complicated and complex scenario, but I'm not really disappointed in how it played out. The tie ins with various characters bonding to Tutan because they had lost their sons was actually very sweet. Daedalus and Caesar both having that tie in made the emotional climaxes of the event very easy to understand as well as kind of tying in to the overall theme of the event...

...which was the sense of losing a loved one. I've not seen a perfect translation of the event, nor is my language skill apt enough to give anything better than gists since I'm rusty on JPN, but from what I understand, Theo wanted to erase Van Gogh from the Throne of heroes, but also history, because he didn't want his brother to be treated like a madman -- or for his art to only be treated as valuable because he was insane.

This is something I think people's mileage may vary on, again, bc I didn't read a perfect translation, but I interpreted it as this: Van Gogh shouldn't have become popular because he was mad, he should've been popular because he was talented. So Theo wants to erase Van Gogh from history because the myth of his madness is what catapulted him into posthumous stardom.

And I agree with this. I think this is a logical, empathetic way of looking at the story of Van Gogh. Because as someone who suffers from psychosis, and when talking about people who make art who have psychosis, most people are asking to be treated with respect and equity, to be considered based on skill of work and communicating ideas. Not fetishized for being a "Mad Artist", which I think is what Theo was getting at.

I think Theo's character being a berserker nerfed the ability for us to understand his motivations in a clearer sense and I wish we got more Sane dialogue from him. I think this was a weird writing choice.

Waver was cute. Obviously

Britomart was also really cute. It's interesting to see how everyone had a "weakness" that was on display.

I enjoyed the talk about psychic architecture quite a bit. Not to be like this gave me material to help me write BeastVN just in time for my birthday, but it did. It was kind of funny hearing Waver elaborate on that + the conceptual parallels being called something different, "illumination" magecraft?? IIRC?? but that was something I already had been implementing in BeastVN writing so it was hilarious hearing him explain it and I'm sitting here smirking like "Oh yeah, this is not new to you at all"

The Jason vs Heracles fight was hilarious. I chose to assist Jason and we beat him lol.

I laughed when Nobu started complaining that we didn't suspect them as the mastermind. They were so insulted and like almost hurt by it lmfao

Daedelus and his wife were pretty funny. I liked how they were inexperienced with mystic topics but had the technological skill to stand on par and pretty much said so themselves

Icarus................

The resolution between Van Gogh and Theo is still a little unclear to me, but Van Gogh insisting upon their selfhood kind of brings to me the sense that, these beings in Chaldea that are like that of alter egos that have their selves mishmashed with other people or concepts still want the selfhood and agency that they have to exist as unique entities, not as representations of those people or concepts separately... which I think is pretty straightforward to understand

I think this was a really emotional event and I'm glad I played it because I felt like I really could emotionally bond towards several characters. It was a pretty nice event.

👇 To conclude

[keithbutgay]

Whumptober Day 1: "How many fingers am I holding up?" ft Sigma

A black haired boy at a playground. He never told that blonde about the gum in her hair.

A violet eyed boy- the same boy, mind you- eating dinner. He never let it slip how he was giving his food to the little dog under the table.

A brilliant but sickly boy, hiding his cello in his room and playing it only when alone.

Images flashed through the puppet's mind. They didn't make sense, and seemingly had no connection to each other. How did I get here?

A gleam in hungry eyes as the boy notices the assassin silently closing in on his parents.

A smirk as he watches them fall.

A single tear as he tells the police that he saw nothing.

Everything is rapid fire. The puppet can only watch as the scenes play through.

The boy smiles when he learns of his ability. Laughs when the first victim crumples to the floor. Steps unaffected into the puddle of blood to watch the light fade from the older man's eyes.

The puppet is screaming, shoving at walls. They don't want to see this. They don't know why they're here. Red is filling their button eyes as hair made of yarn obscures their face.

The boy, now a man, speaks to a bird, a dove with a card over its eye and a long white braid. He tells it that it will be free. He tells it that it will find love. He promises it justice. Spinning lies, upon lies, upon lies.

The puppet has sunk into a corner. They are sobbing, but they don't matter to the man. Nothing does.

Amethyst eyes meet tourmaline orange. Those eyes have just opened for the first time, but it feels like forever ago. A name is called out, just barely heard over the wind and snow, calling Sigma. Sigma, Sigma Sigma as the sky gets brighter-

The puppet- Sigma, they remember, blinks open to a dark room. They blink again, unsure they’ve opened their eyes, but nothing has changed.

There’s nothing here. No people, equipment, nothing but the screaming in their head and the knife buried in their side. 

The world feels fuzzy. It doesn’t make sense. They feel like they’ve been stuffed with cotton, run through a laundry machine, and then hung up to dry. Licking their chapped lips, Sigma feels the sting of a split and tastes blood. They don’t have the energy in them to care.

They keep blinking, but their blinks are lasting longer and longer as their eyelids become heavy. If there’s nothing here, there’s nothing to stay for.

Quick footsteps suddenly sound through the room as two people walk towards them. Bleary eyes open once again, and cream white bandages seem to glow in the darkness of the room. 

The shapeless being made from mercury kneels down on one side, the one made from fire on the other.

Sigma just wants to go back to sleep.

Bandages glow again, and they are shaken gently as soon as their eyes start to drop. They don’t know why. They are so tired.

“-Igma. Sigma, hey.” the mercury says. A blob moves in front of their face. “Look at me. How many fingers am I holding up?”

They can’t think. Everything is so cloudy.

The flame swears. “They’re losing blood fast. We need to get them out of here and to your scary doctor.”

Sigma doesn’t understand. Who’s losing blood? Does someone need help? “The- the agency,” they croak out, choking on the words. “I have to tell them. Dostoyevsky-” An arm lifts up their back, moving them so they can be carried through blinding halls. Their eyes drift closed. “I have to tell them…”

A hand moves hair out of their eyes. Real, keratin hair, no longer yarn. Buttons have been replaced with muscles and veins.

“Don’t worry. You’ll make it. I did promise after all.” But Sigma doesn’t hear the voice filled with concealed panic.

Their eyes slide shut for the final time.

They’ve never been without strings before. Is this what it feels like?

[pridepages]

It’s a Metaphor: This is How You Lose the Time War

I just finished This is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone. I have thoughts...

Here there be spoilers!

Mix Red and Blue together and what you get is a novella painted entirely through with purple prose.

Time travel is a trope that used to evoke a sense of action-adventure in science fiction. Think Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure or Back to the Future. But after the meteoritic rise of The Time Traveler’s Wife, the genre became one that was less driven by science and more by magic touched with romance.

Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone’s This is How You Lose the Time War swings hard to the latter. The story follows two competing organizational bodies known as The Agency and Garden. Each has access to the power of time travel, and their goal is to send agents through the multiverse’s various time streams--known as “strands”--to bend events to their respective desired outcomes.

Two of their best--The Agency’s agent “Red” and Garden’s agent “Blue”--cross paths throughout the strands while on competing missions. Until one day...or does it really start then? Red finds a piece of paper marked: “Burn before reading.” It’s a letter from Blue herself, and it kickstarts a romance that transcends the limits of space and time conducted almost entirely through letter.

Let’s cut to the drawbacks first: What are The Agency and Garden? How did they figure out time travel? Why are they so determined to wage war against each other to manipulate history? To what purpose does either manipulate history? We don’t know. We never really get to know much about any of these players or how they work. It becomes clear really quickly that the whole book is a slew of evocative imagery powered by overarching metaphor. The Agency appears to represent a cold, techno-driven vision of society (think The Matrix) and Garden appears to represent a more “natural” return-to-the-land type of world. The idea of time being represented either by the march of progress or by the endurance of the world as human ages pass it by is nothing new. So which gains supremacy? Why are they fighting each other? The answers respectively are: ‘neither’ and ‘unclear.’

As it turns out, we’re meant to be less interested in the wider world than we are in the psychological developments of Red and Blue, each of whom are rebels in their respective worlds. Red longs for individualism and Blue hungers for ownership, each of these wishes leave them dissatisfied and threaten the stability of their worlds. Consequently, their correspondence must be conducted in secret--they hardly ever share the page together.

So let’s circle back to what people love about this book. Truthfully, I don’t think there is anything more quintessentially lesbian than about 200 pages of yearning, falling in love by letter, and never co-existing in the same space. And it’s full of romantically poetic lines designed to drive the reader feral. (If I tried to quote all of them, we’d be here all day.) Why waste time trying to understand the convoluted mechanics of the plot when you can soak up the romance of long-distance forbidden love?

So in all, the appeal of Time War to me is that with its pseudo-science, magical realism, pretentious prose, and romance, it becomes the queer answer to Time Traveler’s Wife. Which is great! I enjoyed every minute of it. (But I’ll confess, I’m not sorry that it’s short and sweet.)

So if you’re picking this one up: sit back, relax, and let it wash over you. The only way to really lose the Time War is to try to take it too literally.