#brain: no. bad. uncomfortable.
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I mowed him sorry (← guy who thinks buzzed heads are handsome)
#one piece#roronoa zoro#baseball player-lookin head.....#descriptions in alt text#was talking with a friend about this and we decided ace went thru a stage of hating hair cuts/brushing as a kid#so when it got too tangled dadan would just shave it all off for him bc it was less uncomfortable in the long run#and luffy now has a cain instinct to slap the shit out of any bald head he sees#which is bad bc now he's a million times stronger so zoro nearly got OHKO'd#don't worry he ate a handful of walnuts and recovered (they're good for the brain)
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wow! purity culture and censorship in fiction sure is getting scary out there isn’t it!
#not even conservative movements just people think that being made uncomfortable by fiction is wrong now#simblr has always been bullshit about this#cant even have cheating in your fictional stories without ppl in ur asks like But!! Cheating is Bad!! like yeah idiot for real people#i get that you cant use your brain while consuming fiction but don’t put that on the rest of us
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Sorry guys I gotta speak my truth on this one
I'm not kidding when I say that I think that blaming shit media literacy from fans on shipping/shippers avoids the actual root of the problem to throw people you can easily throw under the bus (simply because it's not unpopular to consider people who post about ships or ship characters in media as having lesser or derivative tastes by default)
And here's why.
I think when you blame people who are "shippers" or "consume media through shipping lenses", the true root of it all is a mindset problem.
In actually, putting on shipping lenses can be helpful when trying to analyze a piece of media. When analyzing media you're supposed to approach it through a number of mindsets and put on different lenses (both to deepen your personal understanding of the media, and to pick it apart and see what you can find there (whether intentional or not on the author's part)), and different ships can be some of those lenses
When it comes to ships between main characters (for those who are genuinely willing to see what the narrative is showing with their relationship and what it's doing), there are times when analyzing it from a shipping lens may be helpful. As someone from KH fandom, I have seen people come to deeper understandings and pick canon apart in the process of analyzing a relationship that is genuinely integral to the story (platonic or not). I've also seen people get into rarepairs of characters who barely interact or who just suffer little screen time, and I've seen them come to better understandings of those side characters and how they potentially fit into the world of the media simply because people are now focusing on these characters and how they fit into the narrative.
Frankly, I resent the idea that the only way to truly objectively analyze a piece of media is by turning off the part of your brain that gets excited over relationships and individual characters. Don't get me wrong, that is a way to approach a piece of media and a valid one at that, but the truth is that we cannot be free of bias.
For instance, I was watching House MD with my parents circa last year. At some point I started heavily tuning into what was going on with House and Wilson's relationship. My parents, on the other hand, were largely watching casually. They're not thinking of character relationships or getting heavily invested in most characters, they're watching because they like watching. One of them in particular did try to analyze things that were happening in the show as they happened. However, when it came to the scene late in the series where House threw out Dominika's letter approving her American citizenship, my parents could understand that he was doing that because he didn't want her to leave, but not much beyond that. I ended up explaining to them that House's fake marriage for Dominika was an explicit parallel to when Wilson was living with House in the early seasons. Both situations started with House being none too happy about it but ultimately letting them stay, spending a considerable amount of effort getting them to leave/getting this situation to be finally over so he didn't have to deal with it anymore, and then by the time a piece of news comes through that would mean the person in question actually leaves, House hides this news as long as he can. Because he doesn't actually want them to leave and has grown attached. And by doing this he became a self fulfilling prophecy. By reacting to the truth of Wilson and Dominika leaving him the way he does, he seals his fate and they ultimately leave anyways. Maybe I ship Hilson, but becoming open to how their relationship was handled allowed me to transition to doing character studies and recognizing patterns/parallels that I wouldn't have noticed if I didn't particularly care about the characters or their relationship.
Likewise, I've seen mutuals complain about how people who don't like or don't care about certain characters often overlook these characters (what they're actually like and their place in the narrative), while the mutuals in question (by default) are able to come to deeper understanding of what the writers/story is trying to do because they care about this funky guy
You can't eradicate bias when you're engaging in media analysis, but you can consciously put on a range of lenses and observe the media through different povs with the goal of understanding the media better or bolstering your reading of it. And those lenses/povs can include focusing on specific relationships or the perpective of certain characters
And this is why I say it's actually a mindset problem. Shippers and people who have this one blorbo they like a lot aren't inherently terrible "fandom brained individuals" who are the root of media analysis problems. The problem only arises when people's readings/analysis of a piece of media are inherently restrictive/narrow and self centered. Your problem is with people who view a piece of media through a ship they like but don't keep an open mind about it, and whose "media analysis"/views on canon cannot be split from fanon and their comfortability levels. These are the people whose "media analysis" starts and ends with justifying their fanon as canon, whose views on media revolve around sorting characters and relationships into categories they personally enjoy rather than trying to understand what's going on.
Here's another example.
Here we have a fictional ship we'll call uhhhh...Blanebin. this fictional ship I made up on the spot for characters that don't exist named Blane and Corbin
Person A is super into Blanebin. They're part of the main cast of characters and canonically childhood best friends, so person A (as much as they enjoy fanart and fic) is also enjoying analyzing how narratively important to each other they are. Recently, Corbin started dating another character in canon, but Person A is enjoying watching how Blane is reacting to this. "Is this potentially a tell that Blane is jealous or is having complicated feelings about this? What if he was, how would that contextualize his behavior this season? Here's what I think based on how Blane dealt with explicit jealousy last season in a different situation". It's not impossible that person A is still missing further understanding due to their obsession with Blanebin, but at the end of the day this obsession has allowed them to start picking through the characters both in and outside this relationship. It has allowed them to see potential subtext and theorize on what might happen next with these characters' relationship. Not to mention that with addition of Corbin dating someone else, instead of trying to erase this fact or state that Corbin canonically isn't into that person, Person A is trying to factor in how Corbin's current dating life affects his relationship with Blane (irregardless on personal views on the nature of Corbin's relationship with the person he's dating).
Person B is also super into Blanebin. They really enjoy fanart and fic of the characters, love obsessing over their moments together, and just feel like there's really something between the characters. To person B, every moment between them is just further proof that the writers are ship teasing them. But Corbin getting together with someone else this season? Oh that pissed person B off. They cannot believe that even though Corbin and Blane are CLEARLY gay for each other the writers had Corbin get with someone else this season. Perhaps, they think, it was even a decision specifically made to spite fans. How evil of the writers to tease a perfectly good ship and then have them not get together first? They must have been just doing those teases to get views from Blanebin shippers those scoundrels. To Person B, since Corbin started dating someone when he obviously has some chemistry with Blane (even though the series is far from over) means that Blanebin can never get together now and Corbin x person he's dating is ruining Blanebin by existing. In fact, they think, this is terrible writing for Corbin to be dating someone else because they don't like that relationship and don't see the point. Obviously if the writers were good then Corbin would have started dating Blane instead because this was supposed to be the Blanebin show.
Person C despises Blanebin. Don't get them wrong, they've always enjoyed the character's childhood friendship, but they actually have always thought Blane would have been better off with Victoria. They have a lot of moments too! But they're tired of seeing people ship Blanebin. Corbin just got together with someone else, so obviously that's not gonna work out. Plus Corbin and Blane totally has always given person C bro vibes. In fact, person C thinks, sure Corbin and Blane have a close friendship, but people shouldn't be shipping them. Person C likes Blanetoria and Blanetoria can't be canon if Corbin is in the way of it. So Person C likes to read Blanebin as siblings anyways. Sure they're canonically friends, but obviously their friendship turned into brotherhood. This means that nothing can be in the way of Blanetoria and Corbin can keep dating the person he's already canonically dating. Actually, now Blanebin just straight up makes Person C uncomfortable. Don't the pesky shippers understand that Blanebin are sibling coded because they're childhood best friends and that they're important to each other because they're brothers? It's obvious to anyone with eyes.
Sure, ships are involved here, but is the root of this problem shipping? Character A isn't as knowledgeable of other characters in the plot due to this lens they're using, but at the end of the day they're dedicated to analysis. Their love of the characters is pushing them beyond what they like or dislike to try to understand what might be happening through their lens. Not perfect, but they are slowly broadening their horizons. But Person B and C's problems here are their restrictiveness. What is or should be canon to them is tantamount to what they personally like or find comfortable. Is person C actually analyzing the this fake show when they decide to "read" Blanebin as basically canonically siblings (and this all of their moments are totally a bro thing) just because they don't like Blanebin and the idea of them getting together over Blanetoria makes them uncomfortable? Is person B actually analyzing this fake show when their "analysis" of Blanebin goes only as far as asserting it's being ship teased and deciding anything short of canonizing Blanebin is a targeted attack or "bad writing" because it's not what they wanted personally to happen?
This is what I'm talking about. This is the mindset. Shipping isn't the problem. The problem is when people marry fanon and canon to the point where they have a vested interest in superimposing their fanon over canon as "a reading" and trying to make "collective decisions" on what is canon (or what canon is trying to say) based on what does or doesn't make them uncomfortable. The problem is people being restrictive and centering their own likes and dislikes in the conversation, so they can only interact with canon "analysis" wise by deciding what is canon or should be canon "as obviously agreed on by everyone". You can't simply claim you like media analysis. To be able to analyze media and bolster your views on any given canon, you must be open to looking at it through multiple povs, to studying characters without trying to pretend things you don't like don't exist or do like do exist. There is a balance that must be kept between trying to keep objectivity and putting on specific focus/bias based upon the lenses you're putting on. You have to be willing to try to figure out what a media is doing or saying, not saying you're trying to figure out what it's saying while in actuality trying to define the narrative around what people believe it's saying in ways that suit you.
Thank you for coming to my ted talk.
#fandom wank#on the flip side it really just doesn't all happen with shipping#doesn't this go the same way when someone hates a character so they brand them with terrible terms and act like they're terrible without#actually taking a second to analyze them simply because they dislike that character?#Hell I've seen people get really invested in platonic relationships on the fanon side‚ start labeling them as siblings because the idea of#people shipping them makes them uncomfortable‚ and then when new canon doesn't fulfill their hopes they still act like those characters#being siblings to each other is canon because it makes them uncomfortable if that's not true#I've seen people watch a trailer for a piece of media before it comes out‚ build up an entire story in their head based on that trailer#that they've designated as their perfect idea of how to handle concepts presented in the trailer‚ and then when canon doesn't end up going#that way they decide that it's bad writing simply on the grounds that this wasn't the story they wanted. so they unironically act like#writers can only be good writers if the writers play into their specific wants as the audience or things they as an audience member thinks#would be great#genuinely even if people turn off the ship side of their brain or the side that gets obsessed with characters they can still be one of those#people who acts like they love media analysis but ultimately are shit at it#I didn't put this in the body of the post cause it didn't really fit but I have to say this too#I think that 'There are multiple readings one can glean from a text and no reading is the 'true' one‚ and this is okay' and 'not every#reading is a valid one or a good one' are statements that can and should coexist#There is a difference between genuinely reading into a piece of media based on what is happening in it and purposely miscontruing and#twisting canon in a direction that contradicts text so you can then quell all criticism by saying that it's just 'a reading' and#'all readings are valid'#What I'm saying is that if you see a blue car‚ the way you get 'valid readings is people who are determining what shade of blue it is or#what it being a blue car means or the author's intent making the car blue or even speculation as to why it's blue and not potentially other#color. A case of an 'invalid reading' in this case is if someone pointed at the blue car‚ said it's canonically red and the author obviously#intended it to be red and it's canonically red‚ and then when people point out that the car is very much not canonically red (that you#can see it is a very clear shade of blue) this person doubled down and started saying that the 'haters' are being rude by implying that#their personal reading of the text is invalid (in other words 'no you can't get mad at me for saying the blue car is red because it's my#reading of the text and all readings are valid no matter what!')#anyways sorry for going off there#it just pisses me off when people repeat the argument that people who like certain things as fans are inherently unable to perform good#media analysis and are the root of fandom media illiteracy.
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I'm so happy everytime selfshippers like my art
I love you selfshippers!!
#i just don't follow selfshippers of my fav characters bc i'm afraid to make them uncomfortable#but i really appreciate you guys#most of you might know that i'm a selfshipper too#i just stopped for a while bc it was being bad for my brain#i'll come back to it someday
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there's a self-help/mental health adjacent post that's going around and it seems to be really helpful for a lot of people which is very good. I also personally hate it with all my fucking heart
#it's the anhedonia one btw lmao#if i. have to be exposed to one more goddamn cbt-ass advice post in my life. I will start tearing throats out with my teeth#and I will have earned the right to because I've been through the fucking TRENCHES over the years man#I think it's the appeal to urgency at the end however ruefully humorously packaged that ohohoho. really grrrrinds my gears.#this is obviously not what the person is trying to do with that but the unavoidable implication that the reason you might still#be suffering is that you just haven't tried hard enough to change to like things to open your eyes... hey. respectfullly. fuck off#peak advice for mild to moderate symptoms of mental illness thoughtlessly presented as universally applicable#without any consideration for the deeper thing you're saying -- that if someone is in a real bad way and DOESN'T get better#it's their own responsibility and they just haven't tried hard enough. in trying to be kind you are being so desperately cruel#to the people who are struggling the most. bitch I am fucking GREAT at liking things! it's one of my best skills!! I'm generally curious!#my capacity for enthusiasm and intellectual joy over any old thing that strikes my fancy is legendary and often I suspect quite annoying!!!#so when anhedonia completely envelops me I know it's a sign of something else and bigger going on in the background#it's not a choice. the brain is not solely a cognitive machine!! you cannot fix everything that can go awry with it by Thinking Better!!!#cbt must be great for the people it's great for and I'm sincerely genuinely glad for it. less suffering in the world is great#but it is a way of thinking that is a hammer and you just have to hope like fuck your problem is a nail. because otherwise#you're bruised from being beaten with hammers and the additional shame of what's wrong with you that it's not helping#and again I recognize very keenly that this is not a space meant entirely for me. people sharing resources that amn are not about me#is not only fine it's good it's great! however. it'd also be nice to not get thrown under the fucking bus for once#because my presence fully expressed is an uncomfortable reminder of the things we *cannot* control about our own brains lmao#I'm lucky that I've been in the game long enough and have enough resources to start to smell the bullshit here but...#the pain 'losing years' induces in you when you don't have *a fucking choice* -- because it's not a matter of willpower#or positive thinking or changing your mindset. you're just sick. in a way medicine hasn't quite figured out how to help yet.#well. maybe. maybe don't put that on someone huh. maybe don't make their 'lost years' to depression and doomscrolling or whatever#'their own fault'. I kind of think that's possible to do without submitting to doomposting. is all.#(I feel the same about the 'resting vs. rotting' idea. well friend sometimes the best I can hope for is some gentle rotting#thanks for introducing this layer of disgust and condemnation to the general despair. it's added a patina)#this might actually be the first time I've managed to hold on to my own anger about this rather than it getting drowned out by shame tho#which as steps forward go. *sigh* it's not a moon landing is it. but a small step for man nevertheless I suppose
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if i ever had to describe vanida’s relationship to bailey / rory, the best parallel you’ll ever find is charlie & mac from it’s always sunny
#. // ♡ 🌱 txt#THIS SOUNDS SO WILD OUT OF CONTEXT#but its bc im thinking of making a slightly morbid comic that features them both#and all my brain could do is picture the scene with mac and charlie#where mac is like ‘who eats paint’ and charlie uncomfortably silent#until mac asks him to show his tongue and its full of paint and he screams#like thats rory and vanida#rory who is a big bad feared and not to be taken lightly#in proximity to vani? loses braincells around her because of how insane she is#the ‘is there anything undoing like a daughter’#but it exists on two opposite ends of a spectrum#the tragedy of it vs the insanity of it#first he had cody and now vanida#the only normal kid he has is noel and that SAYS A LOT#considering she has her bff turned monstrosity chained and locked in her home#cody and vanida are the reason he has to buy box dye to cover his grays
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Kat Rant: Gelboys 2
The last 5 minutes of the finale...
🐈: You know what... I've just decided that there is no season 2. I don't care if Looke confirmed it. It's just not happening. Unless it is centering on different characters, it will not exist in this world. Nope. No. Not at all. My babies have been through enough to get to this point. And nobody is going to fuck with their happy ending. It. Will. Not. Exist.
#not today satan#usually here for the pain...#...apparently not this time!#this felt too real#mom mode activated: hard to delight in their tears#we fought too hard for that happy ending#I don't think I can handle any more awkwardly uncomfortable NC scenes with GEN ALPHA#for once so glad to be old#Is eye bleach a thing yet?#or is it brain bleach?#Not as bad as the honey.#We're looking at you Top Form!#I could add another paragraph but I'll just hashtag it instead#Gelboys#gelboys the series#Gelboys2#gelboys 2#thai bl#gmd rambling#gmd kat
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so far i feel like lucian won't ever really get better, especially if he's with kylar tbh
like. i don't think that kylar fosters a super "change and be a better you" kinda environment, and if lucian started opening up more to other people/if he made any friends at all, kylar would definitely get jealous and see it as a threat to their relationship. which, to be fair, lucian would feel mostly the same way if kylar were to open up to anyone else.
lucian kinda thrives in his and kylar's shared isolation, he's comfortable with it because he doesn't like speaking to people in general. he definitely shares that view of "we only need each other" kylar has, and well. living in the town he does, lucian doesn't really trust anyone nor does he feel safe enough to open up to anyone. kylar is just a very specific case for him because he found solidarity in that shared isolation
if (and it's a big if) lucian ever did get better and make a friend, the SECOND kylar voiced any unhappiness about it, they'd be gone from lucian's life and his mind. he'd drop them without a second thought and he wouldn't think anything of it. he would not explain anything to his friends, they'd be completely erased from his mind
and in his head, he'd justify it by saying that kylar has nobody but him, it isn't fair to get friends for himself. and he'd also be convinced that kylar only wanting him alone, and for lucian to be alone with only kylar, is true love
#i could go on about this specific thing about them like. feeding off of each others loneliness and isolation and kinda like. reassuring each#other by getting worse together#and shutting down everyone else bc of it#i could go on and on and on about their shared isolation bc there is SO much dissect therr#kylar already feels extremely threatened by the fact that lucian had ever even given sydney a chance (if you can even call it that)#and it's heartbreaking really because while lucian feels guilty about how things ended with sydney#for the most part hes just. not really taking up much space at all in lucians brain#if he seed sydney or if something reminds him of sydney he quickly shuts it down and doesnt try to do Any reflection on it#bc its uncomfortable. it feels bad. instead he lets the guilt eat at him slowly and deeply where he cant touch it#kylu#lucian the dependent
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HEADS UP: bright colors, gore, and drugs
my everything hurt
#because im intersex and my genitals are all wonky I'm prone to UTIs#but while i was taking uti painkillers I didn't read the part that said “after 2 days if the pain doesn't go away then go to a doctor”#so I took the painkillers for 5 days and it totally fucked my kidney which was even more painful#so I went to the hospital and they IV dripped painkillers into me which totally fogged my brain so I felt dizzy#I also felt extremely feverish and had the worst chills of my life. If I got the chills I'd shake uncontrollably no amount of blankets help#I was completely unable to walk at one point and still after 6 days of being out of the hospital I still use a cane to walk#I ALSO couldn't breath properly. i'd get an extremely sharp pain every miniscule breath I took. thats completely gone now but it was bad#laying down was also extremely uncomfortable. no position felt good but standing didnt feel good either#I had to be sitting up and slouching over for me to feel at least comfortable#that was probably THE MOST PAINFUL experience I've ever had. I'm still on meds and I still get tired from walking for more than an hour#but at least I can sleep#furry#furry art#furry artist#digital art#furry oc#furry dog#furry gore#bright colors#vent post#fursona
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last night i had the most insanely detailed and realistic dream about someone i cut off contact with a while back. in the dream they got in touch and apologised, and asked if we could be friends again, and i said yes - but it turned out that this was a ruse to get me to expose all my insecurities so they could store up ammunition and psychologically destroy me with absolute maximum efficiency. can my subconscious fucking take a break and count to ten please
#one detail i remember really clearly was that in the dream they'd convince me to flirt with people at parties and such#by pretending to be my wingman and going 'that girl at the bar was totally checking you out!!' and so on#and then during their psychological takedown they were like 'btw none of those people were actually into you'#'i just told you they were because it was funny to watch how bad you are at flirting and how uncomfortable you made them lol'#what the hell!!! how is this something my brain came up with all on its own!!!#so evil
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im gonna explode. there are two small children and flatmate's mother doing a mess in the kitchen. why are they here
#this is making me so uncomfortable im gonna cry#and i can't focus on the project#i ask roommate how long they're gonna be here because i don't feel comfortable doing my things in the kitchen with them around and she#called me insane and that i should change my behavior because it's not normal#well sorry that the way my brain works isn't normal but im still uncomfortable with strangers in the place where i live#especially when they're being loud are touching my stuff and are drinking my tea#makes me think that people want to be friends with mentally ill people until those people start showing signs of mental illness#like im working on myself ive been working on changing by brain for almost a year but it takes time i can't just be suddenly normal#i need a hug so fucking bad
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tragic i finally got a proper solo pomni art idea. but itd genuinely be darker and way easier to misread as smth w upsetting connotations (though the actual concept would still be upsetting) more so than anything else ive posted so idk if id be willing to do that....
#im not opposed to making art that isnt cute and fun obviously#but the idea is like. a bit genuinely unpleasant and idk if i have that sorta confidence#im putting a pin in the thought. maybe ill try to do smth w it later but idt im gonna yet. if ever#(maybe my brain is amping up how actually distressing it would be but idk#maybe ill just find another way to depict it#i get invested in how pomnis fears and stress and whatnot present and this is related to that. im sure i could find another way#but then again sometimes art is meant to be unpleasant. and picking smth more palatable could take away from the point)#(im a horror fan and i like when art makes me upset bc thats often vital to evoking the correct type ofthoughts in the audience abt subject#but still. i get a little uneasy)#(edit ftr its not anything like.... weird bad or smth its more just kinda. visceral maybe?#though im testing it out and i mightve found a way to make it not so uncomfortable. but its not quite conveying the same thing anymore...)
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the way people refuse to tag ocd triggers is insane
#''sorry if it makes you uncomfortable but it's important and you're a bad person for not wanting to see it uwu''#yeah but you get to go home at the end of the post. i am stuck i moral discourse brain hell for the next day; week; month; lifetime#it's a trigger. fucking tag it#fish babblings#rwp#ableism#and telling me i'm a bad person just reinforces the ocd btw. that's like the definition of scrupulosity
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My roommate and I had a conversation last night and I keep rotating it in my brain and I Don’t Like It
#blue chatter#they called me a resilient person. and no the fuck I am not. I break down so easily over everything and my body is falling apart on me.#I scream in terror when someone knocks on the door too hard the fuck you mean I’m good at handling adversity#I pointed out that I freak out whenever my grade gets low even a little bit#and they were just sitting there like ‘yeah. and then you pick yourself up again and you do the work.’#and no? not always? oftentimes I give up and don’t try hard enough to fix it and let points go that I could have earned#I barely ever go for extra credit opportunities and I’ve never gone to office hours of my own free will#I can’t even think about talking to a professor about a bad grade without wanting to cry? hello?#but they were insistent that even with those things I am still managing Incredibly Well in class given the circumstances. which made me#uncomfortable. like. I don’t think of myself as resilient At All and I feel a bit like I’m lying or tricking them.#I start shaking like a chihuahua when people are upset and I’m In The Vicinity. even when they’re clearly not upset with me.#I really struggle to advocate for myself ever and even when I do I usually feel guilty and walk it back partway so I don’t cause a fight#and I always get way too emotional for the situation when someone has anything they’re upset with me for. which isn’t fair to them bc I need#to be able to take constructive criticism without taking it as a personal attack on me.#like what the fuck do you mean *resilient*. I can’t even handle seeing a bug flying near my face or getting a B in a class. or being told#that I did something wrong. I’m actually significantly worse at handling adversity than I used to be. high school me was a resilientish kid.#and it’s not like I was ever *good* at handling my emotions. even when it was essential for my safety. I’ve always cried way too easily#even when it actively made the situation I was in Much Worse. even when I knew better.#I would get angry and scared and sad and start shaking and crying and even screaming at my parents when they were mad at me even though#I knew that it would always make my life much worse. and extend an already beleaguered argument.#I brought this up with my therapist and she was like ‘well. anybody would have done that if they were treated like you were’.#which. okay. maybe so. I still feel like I should have been able to handle it and just shut up and move on and not make it worse.#but I am aware that this is probably a cognitive distortion. even so. that definitely doesn’t make me resilient.#I just. I feel gross being called resilient. I’m not. I’m weak and easily scared and unable to handle even small amounts of adversity.#the fuck is my roommate even *seeing*.#the annoying part is that they’re generally an insightful person about other people and I know logically that they’re probably right#which is why I’m not going to complain any more about this to their face bc I should just drop it and not make it a Thing#I talk too much about myself and my problems anyway. not every conversation has to be about my brain worms.#but the discomfort is Distinct and Unpleasant. and now I’m just having to sit with it. and Feel Uncomfortable. and try to accept what was#definitely intended as a compliment. I know it’s draining to talk to someone who doesn’t accept any of the kind things you say about them.
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Very. .. tired. :) 👍
Also: bread. Very good 👌
Woah look that’s a lot of dots in one post. Heheh that’s fun.
#First costume runnnnnnn yayyyyy#I don’t know how long it’s been#but it’s been too long to be awake#also my hair is more Bobby pins nd hairspray than hair.#I don’t like it but it’s necessary but hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I hate the required hairstyle#THEY CHOSE THE MOST RIDICULOUS HAIRSTYLE OF ALL TIME AND CHOSE THE PEOPLE UP CLOSE WITH THE AUDIENCE THE MOST TO WEAR IT.#they told us to search up “Gibson girls” and it is horrendous. Half of us have no possible way to do it because of our hair types#and the eferences they gave us were all black and white drawings#so we ended up having three people suffer the humiliation. And GUESS WHO WAS OME OF THOSE THREE HAHA-#okay but in reality it isn’t TOO bad. Like. It’s still pretty ridiculous. But it honestly doesn’t look TOO bad#is just very uncomfortable :D 👍#and i think i almost pull it off. It helps that my mother is really good with hair nd makeup#andyway#random thoughts n stufs#don’t mind my little whining tangent#braim is not braining
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I don't like debating much(unless necessary for the sake of my own humanity) but sometimes it can be really Really fun specifically if it's about something that has absolutely no real weight to it(and yet if you were a spectator it might cause some concern for whatever reason)
for example: would you rather be threatened(physically mentally or emotionally take your pick) by a can of corn or a cob of corn?
Me personally I'd pick cob for a few reasons
1. I can outlast it(probably)
Fresh corn will eventually rot and decay but have you seen how long canned stuff can last unopened before it looks slightly different from new stuff??
2. Cans are made of metal not vegetable flesh
While a corn cob has its core that's not metal. Ever dropped a can? Might get a dent. If you have a good kick then you might survive but you will probably hurt your foot. Ever dropped corn? If it had it outer leaves and hair it might have stood a chance but if it didn't then bits of corn go everywhere
3. Actually fighting if needed
I feel like I could survive a fight with a sentient can but a sentient cob just seems less likely to hurt
However there are some things might change my decision
Like issue one which is how the corn moves because if the cob is fresh with hair and leaves and can move all the little hairs individually and can move the leaves then I'd probably choose the can because at that point I feel like it's less of "how would i survive with the least amount of bruising" and more of "how would I rather die but with a chance of surviving" and in my opinion i think blunt force trauma would be better then a slow death of strangulation via a sentient corns hair plus I do think I'd have a chance against a can of corn
Another issue is if it was mentally or emotionally I'd probably go with the can bc I feel like it would be easier for to rationalize it as ridiculous to be threatened by a can of corn then a cob for some reason
Like a cob is ridiculous to the point that I'd just accept it as making sense for that to happen?
a can is like "why am I listening to the can of corn. I literally own a can opener." But a cob is more like "if I were to try and deal with you in the traditional way of dealing with corn that would mean a pot and water and time and-"
Plus idk why but I feel like a cob would be less mean with its words. I can't explain it I just think cob would just go straight to physical threats instead of emotional ones but a can would stare at you menacingly making you question yourself and just judging you
#the part where some might be concerned is the fact that after coming up with that scenario it took me 3 seconds to decide on my awnser#this corn convo scenario didnt actually happened but ive had many similar convos#this may or may not make any sense but thats the fun of it in my opinion :D#the other part that concerns people so i dont tend to say it out loud as much is the “how would you rather die” part#so many people are just so uncomfortable with death they try to avoid discussing it at any cost even though its somthing coming for us all#its kinda sad#like i do get it. its hard to not only accept but really think about death as a reality#people dont like it when something good can end so they try to avoid it and try to deny it#its hard to look at something that youve been ingrained to consider as “bad” and see it as anything else#i feel like recognizing the fact that something will end can help you cherish it more in the present#and if you can recognize the good and accept that it will end you can also morph that when thinking about the bad#life isnt simple and neither is death#bad moments come and good moments come and bad moments and good moments and bad moments and good moments ect#is it really so weird that i dont ignore it?#like im going to die eventually welcome to reality but thats not right now.#right now i have blood moving in my arteries and veins right now im breathing and blinking periodically#right now im still alive and i intend to do the most i can with whatever time i have even if im still fighting myself to do basic tasks#its kinda sad that so many people think its better to ignore that our time is limited#maybe its just the way i grew up#i didnt face death a lot but my family moved every few years and whenever i met another kid i used to know it was never the same person#we were both different in ways that made it seem like we were entirely new people#i had to get to know them a second time practically from scratch so every time either one of us left there was always a part of me that knew#when one of us left we were done#like sure we could get to know each other again but it would never be how it had been#we would be new people to each other#idk i think that made it easier for me to accept the existence of death and not taking things for granted#like stuff happens life goes on make the best of it and make friends with everyone possible while it lasts#idk sheesh this started as me being like “i like weird and slightly stupid debates” and ended as “i have opinions on peoples veiws of death”#whatever hope my point is made i guess. good job making it this far? give me stupid questions pls(also 30 tag limit who knew: me now)#brains rambles
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