#brain really needed the dopamine apparently

[livebloggingkidshows]

I really underestimated the power of new content. The context for Richelle and Ebby's "President" duet just dropped on the CBBC Youtube channel and I can't even get through it because I keep excitedly stimming.

[ex-mortis-evie]

Hey, you got a second? I’d like to have a chat.

Don’t worry, you’re not in trouble or anything. Just relax.

I’ve been doing some research lately on some topics that I think might just interest you.

I’m the kind of gal that likes to read and find weird things about our world everywhere.

I mean, there’s just so much to discover about it, you know?

So anyways, I was doing some reading and found myself down a bit of a rabbit hole, and I’d like to hear your feelings on it.

It’s the theory of conditioning.

I know, odd topic but trust me, it’s a really cool read

Did you know that the human brain can be as easily conditioned as a dog’s brain?

Crazy, yeah?

Apparently all it really takes is positive or negative reinforcement of a topic before they’re conditioned to feel a certain way about it.

For example, if I were to sit here and tell you all about how good something feels, you’d start to imagine it, right?

Like, let’s say a warm bed?

Just take a sec and imagine it.

A blanket as heavy as the stars yet as warm as the sun.

The perfect weight for your body and the perfect temperature for your mind.

A pillow under that sleepy head, so perfectly firm yet soft at the same time.

Gentle rain outside, your dark room only giving way to the void of sleep.

You can feel it, right?

That’s the kind of enforcement I’m talking about, darling.

How you’re conditioned to think about how warm and magnificent that bed must feel.

How it seems that you start to yearn for it again.

And it comes naturally of course, after all every person on this earth wants to feel good.

So you’d naturally want to slip under those covers and slip into a restful night, right?

Exactly.

And as I keep going, that warmth gets so vivid and feels so amazing all over.

It’s like that bed’s your entire world.

Even if I stopped talking about it, you’d still feel that warmth.

Still yearn to go under those blankets and rest.

That’s the power of conditioning.

Your brain chases that positive reinforcement, like a treat for a dog.

And you just find yourself needing it.

Like you’d do anything for that blanket to wrap you up again.

To feel that deep relaxation all over again.

That’s the power of conditioning.

How it can completely consume you just like that.

And you’re ready for more of it.

See, and it gets even crazier.

Because once that conditioning starts to really sink in, you can influence it.

Tying certain feelings to certain actions.

Like if I told you to relax for me, you’d just naturally do it for me with no issue.

Because you’ve been conditioned to.

To relax for me.

To listen to me.

To just fall and drop for me.

That’s the power of conditioning.

Where it’s almost too simple to feel controlled.

Where you can’t quite focus on much else besides a deep need to relax now.

Because it’s been buried deep within you.

Needing to relax, needing to go deeper.

Needing to chase that warmth deeper down for me.

See how now whenever I ask you to relax for me you just do it?

It’s not even something you think about.

Like your body’s on autopilot.

That’s the power of conditioning.

Your mind and body are conditioned to relax and listen.

To feel good and to chase that dopamine deeper.

And all it takes is that positive reinforcement.

To link you to my words.

To link my words to your relaxation.

And to link your relaxation to me.

Because it just feels so good to relax, doesn’t it?

Exactly.

Feels good to be conditioned like this, right?

Exactly.

See, this is why conditioning is so fun.

You feel good.

It feels good.

And you’re just calm now.

Just relaxing.

And just accepting your conditioning.

Because that’s the best part from what I’ve seen.

When people accept their conditioning.

And this fuzzy feeling starts.

This fuzzy euphoria where they can’t help but feel good.

Knowing they’ve been conditioned.

Knowing it feels good.

And even knowing that maybe, just maybe

They want more.

Let that sink in, darling.

Until then, stay cool. Wake naturally and grab you some water, yeah?

You did good today.

Go enjoy your day.

[headedoutleft]

I beat the final level on Vampire Survivors after downloading it last night and then looked it up online to see if I had missed any big secrets and found that

1. Everybody is saying don’t bother with Garlic, but using Poe and maxing Garlic is how I cleared a few levels (plus focusing on projectiles)

2. Folks talking about prioritizing upgrades… I found it super easy to earn gold, idk. I unlocked everything? Was I supposed to respec? I never really needed to

3. Apparently most people find it suuuper difficult, but I did not. This was a fun multitasking game to listen to a podcast to once I figured it out, I only failed a few times on the first level before I got the hang of it. I unlocked the yellow page and then looked it up afterward to see what that meant, and the walkthroughs talked about how difficult it might be. Meanwhile I played Poe for that level and just hobbled him all the way to the end of the hallway first try ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ The answer to your problems may be to unlock more things, I had bought up almost all the upgrades at that point, including movement speed

Anyway that was $3 well spent, that will be one of my, “my brain doesn’t feel good enough to play a hard game, but I would like some dopamine” fallback games for sure

[marshemillow]

phone addiction is actually a real specific issue that has been researched. I would recommend reading "How to Break Up With Your Phone" by Catherine Price. Not for the advice, obviously since you don't have that problem, but it's a very thorough resource that compiles many studies. This is at the beginning of the book before the guide. It's actually a genuine problem for many people gen x and younger that is specifically about the phone itself and not the content being consumed.

See? This is what I mean when I say I must be living in a different dimension than everyone else.

Okay so I looked up the book you recommended, and already I found some weird self-help guru red flags, but let's not even focus on that because science is science. I can't just get the book and read it right this second, but I did look up a synopsis and a few reviews. I didn't see any references to studies, but I did see people giving a rundown of the book's content and what to expect, and apparently the entire first half of it is just dedicated to fear mongering about how cell phones will ruin your life and destroy your attention span and your ability to feel accomplished and dopamine is addictive and social media makes you depressed and blah blah blah honestly Jesus Christ if you've already picked up the book, chances are you don't need it hammered home even harder that you're basically going to die early because you didn't delete the Facebook app off your phone. Why is the judgemental fear mongering necessary?

Here's the thing; Third spaces don't exist anymore. Roads are dangerous to play on and even ride your bike across, every public place requires you to pay for transportation to even get to, and even just STANDING is illegal (loitering). People have even mentioned that their phone addiction only got so bad after the pandemic started, meaning they're turning to their phone for any kind of social connection being stuck at home. I definitely understand, I used to have really severe agoraphobia I'm still recovering from. Without places outside to hang out with friends, especially if you don't have a driver's license or a job yet, talking to your friends online is the only option.

Does it rot your brain to talk to your friends? Why is it automatically assumed that screen friendships are less worthwhile than face-to-face ones? If social media isn't the problem but having a phone is, then what the fuck is it about the phone itself that causes grey matter to erode!? Has my brain been fucked playing Professor Layton this whole time!?

Obviously, this is just cursory research, I'm not exactly doing proper journalism here, and I'm not saying phone addiction doesn't exist or that it isn't a problem, I just remain unconvinced it's a bad enough problem all on its own to warrant mass concern about it. There are definitely people who have an unhealthy relationship with their phone and with technology, and the ease of access phones create could definitely exacerbate a problem already brewing, but to say that that means phones are addictive? I don't know. It just seems like too much of a stretch to me, that's all I'm saying.

I might still read that book though. It's definitely got me curious.

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

i'm on my aspd izaya bullshit again but like. thru this lens, isnt his arc a perfect encapsulation on how aspd negatively affects the person that has it? even to this day, many professionals do not believe that pwASPD suffer from aspd. like at all. to the point where aspd was specifically listed as an outlier to the "patient distress is what defines a disorder" rule in an abnormal psych textbook

(see why i don't respect the field?)

but... he does suffer! a lot! like- remember his speech to mikado at the end of the first arc? how you need to keep evolving, keep changing in order to escape the mundane? how you have to keep going and going and going, wether it be aiming high or low?

yeah. normal people don't need to do this, izaya. you are a broken person.

but why SHOULD he be content with the mundane? the things people usually have that make them content with daily life- friends, family, a purpose, a distinct lack of extreme chronic boredom that drives you to do completely insane shit- izaya doesn't HAVE any of that!

"wait, chronic boredom?" i hear yall thinking. maybe. "isnt that an adhd thing?"

more than one disorder can have the same symptom. theres like a billion that have "want to die" as a symptom. but i dont really blame you for not knowing, its not talked about much

studies have shown that aspd and adhd are both problems with the dopamine receptors in the brain. more specifically, adhd is a chronic deficiency of dopamine, whereas with aspd, when you DO get dopamine, your brain gives you quardruple the normal amount.

studies have ALSO shown there to be a sort of... adhd to aspd pipeline. the story goes like this: you have a kid with adhd. maybe they're born like that, maybe the symptoms developed from trauma (which can happen? apparently??) anyway. kid gets abused. kid develops conduct disorder as a result of that abuse, as a natural extension of the existing adhd symptoms. they're MORE impulsive, which leads to them hurting others- and if it sets off the dopamine receptors, an abused kid starving for happiness and power is gonna chase it, no matter what. theyre like, six, they dont know anything about like. morality. all they know is, theyre sad and this makes them happy. anyway kid never gets treated, abuse continues to exasperate the symptoms, and now you have an adult with aspd, AND the original adhd diagnosis! and ptsd, which is HIGHLY comorbid with aspd! and probably another personality disorder, because you're actually statistically more likely to have two of them!

anyway! that's ONE of the ways aspd can develop from trauma, which it is Known To Do.

does any of that sound pleasant to go through? at all?

let me ask you a question:

imagine you aren't getting dopamine. maybe it's your adhd. maybe you're depressed. either way, you try to get it any way you can. wether it's throwing yourself into a hobby or a job, so the sense of satisfaction gives you dopamine, or something like drugs or gambling.

now, imagine that "rush" you felt. was Four Times Stronger.

wouldnt that compel you to do increasingly dangerous and risky shit, just to feel okay? imagine if you had no friends. imagine if this was your only way to be happy. wouldnt you, eventually, stop caring about others and only care about yourself? after all, other people have thinga like friends and a family that you don't have. they have a fallback. you only have this.

and you might say, "i'd never do that!" but every addict says that, and most eventually cross that line out of sheer desperation. and this? effectively makes you into a dopamine addict. which is dangerous! you can't just STOP... gettng dopamine....! it's necessary! but you have no help so you keep doing what youre doing. (and how could you get help? its baked into the system that people like you don't suffer. why try if youll just get burned?

anyway, back to izaya.

he's lonely. he has one friend and he sucks. he feels compelled to do these things even though he KNOWS it'll hurt him.

i stole this screenshot from some1 who insulted my friend once for something stupid <3 die

but it illustrates my point very well! does it look like he has much control over things?? he sure like to ACT like he does, but at the end of the day, he doesn't, really. he ends up spiraling more and more, doing increasingly risky and rash things, just to get his end goal... which is to die and ascend to the afterlife. a lofty goal.

aiming high, isn't he? a final, spectacular evolution.

or, it should have been.

but it wasn't.

izaya's impulses and deep desire to continue becoming more and more drastic, coupled with his lack of personal ties to anyone that could keep him from doing so....

it didn't make him ascend. it left him in a wheelchair, with chronic pain that will last his whole life.

THAT is where mental illness takes you. it doesn't make you a hollywood psychopath, reveling in the destruction you chose, of your own free will, wholly and truly, to cause. it makes you want More. no matter what, you need More. you see people content with lives worse than yours, everyone bound together with some sort of invisible thread, some sort of tie that keeps them together. a thread that missed you. your brain refuses to see people as people, thus you remain lonely forever, unsatiafied wirh company other than the superficial, because it's fun. that's all you're allowed to care about. an endless cycle of bigger and bigger actions, impulses slowly getting worse--

--and the worst part is, it tricks you into believing you ever had a choice. it tricks everyone into believing you had a choice. your suffering is worse than disregarded, to all the people you look at from your apartment, all the people you wish you could have been like.

it's nonexistant.

[pastafossa]

How do you get past writer's block? I have a fic that I'm working on that is updating on a schedule, and I made the mistake of giving myself a month off in between parts and now I can't really get back into writing it. I don't want to leave it abandoned because I have a few people who I know are really invested and I don't want to leave them hanging, but I'm having a hard time getting as excited to write it as I did before.

Ok so I'm in a weird place for this, hilariously. Because The Answer That Usually Works For Me (TM) and that carried me through a regular weekly update schedule for almost two and a half years is, in fact, not at present working for me apparently my brain can write through a pandemic but not through recovery from the shit that went down in December/Jan so we found my writing kryptonite. However, I'm going to assume you're closer to 2021 Pasta than 2024 Pasta. SO LET'S GO WITH THE METHOD I NORMALLY USE SINCE IT WAS SUCCESSFUL FOR YEARS. Cause that's the thing: sure, I've written almost a million words, and pumped out chapters for years (ignoring the past few months) but I promise, I hit the same walls as everyone else even when nailing weekly uploads. But over those years, I came up with a fairly solid list of steps that I'd go through one by one.

Fun one first: when I'm in a block, I almost always try re-engaging with canon first. I'd rewatch my favorite episodes, binge a whole season, or even the whole series depending on how much of a boost I needed. For me at least that was often like Pavlov's bell, my favorite story triggering a flood of affection. I'd remember why I loved this fandom and the characters so much, and it could often kickstart my brain and excitement back into gear. If you really want to dangle a carrot and your fic touches on canon, focus on watching parts you're excited to get to in your story. A big one for me in TRT for example was the post-Nobu, Nelson v. Murdock episode, since I'd had that planned for TRT almost since the start, and I was very excited to reach the hurt/comfort I had planned. Even if your fic isn't following canon though, see if it'll give you a creative rush again!

So let's say step 1 doesn't work, either because the canon just isn't hitting the spot or because your fic is dealing with something else. In this case, my next step was usually to jump ahead to write a scene I was really eager to get to. It was often a short blurb, but it was always something I REALLY wanted to explore, and because I'm also a reader who likes exactly the tropes and plots I'm writing, I want to read what fucking happens. Except, fuck, I'm not there yet, am I? And I can't see how that scene finishes until I write my way up to it and finish it. This is my own carrot. Multiple scenes in TRT were written months or even years in advance, simply as a way to bribe myself. This is also an option!

But maybe this doesn't work. Sometimes it didn't. This is when it got a bit more serious. For anyone who was reading at the time, you'd have noticed that I'd sometimes drop side fics, either Matt POVs or one-shots. This was me, in essence, working on the shower principle (basically, ideas/solutions will come if you stop thinking about it and do something else, like take a shower). I figured if I went and wrote something else - either with less stress, or something fun and dopamine-inducing - the part of my brain focused on my Big Fic would wander around the writer's block beneath my notice. And it almost always worked, all while I still kept my brain trained that, hey, even if we're not writing This Thing, we're still writing.

But let's say this doesn't work either. You're well, and truly, stuck. Been there now and then. And, you're going to hate this one. I hate it but it works 9 times of 10. And it is: Write anyway. Half of it was spite. I was not going to give up my schedule, I liked my schedule. The other half was that I knew myself. I knew if I could just get past the chapter/plot/dialogue I was struggling with, I'd be able to roll along again. And so I made a rule: whatever I wrote didn't have to be pretty. It just had to exist. If that meant I wrote, "Jane chased the cat in circles and caught it. She was happy." then that's what I wrote. Because everything, EVERYTHING, can be fixed in editing. But you can't fix what doesn't exist. And so there were those nights when I would scowl and groan and snarl and bash my head against that writer's block until 5 in the morning, but in the end Jane chased that fucking cat adn caught it, it was written. Hilariously, sometimes those chapters have wound up amazing (likely because I spent so much time hammering at them) and reader favorites. There are absolutely, I believe, moments where you can, and should, see if you can push through.

But that brings me to *waves* now. A lesson I've only recently recently and with encouragement. Namely... sometimes brain no go and that's ok. My steps work for me 99.9% of the time, but I've done the above during the past few months, and it just... hasn't dragged me out entirely out of it yet. Sometimes, our brains demand that break, especially when things just aren't going great. There's a reason TRT had a break of roughly 2 years between chapter 4 and chapter 5 (feel free to check the chapter index with dates on AO3!). I had some life things happening and I just was not in a place to write, even if I was still busily plotting and planning and thinking about TRT behind the scenes. And that was ok. We're not machines. I came back like a bulldozer in Jan 2021, yes, and bulldozed through weekly updates, but that break was needed. And now I'm obviously taking a short one again while I recover from everything. It's ok if you're not in a place for it. So the last step is one I've been told a lot by dear friends recently as they helped me through this: be kind to yourself, and try not to stress if none of the above works. The story will always be there, and if TRT is any indication through all its highs and lows, your readers will be there when you start up again.

[nicki0kaye]

Some dumbass in the comment section of a youtube vid about how AI Art bros are jersk tried to make the argument that genetics determine talent and I kind of popped of. Turns out the comment thread I replied to is like 200+ comments deep and now no one is going to see my small novella about genetics v talent, so I've decided to share it here...IN TWO SEPARATE PARTS bc apparently it is too long and tumblr cant handle it alskdjflskjdf.

Hi, I'm the genetically gifted artist you're trying to cite for your argument. Both of my birth parents were artists in several fields and despite being adopted by a different family, I know that I've inherited most of their interests and am proficient at all of the things they excelled in; art, writing and performance to be specific. I now make a living as an artist.

You're also entirely wrong about how 'talent' works and how inheriting 'talent' works. What I inherited from my parents were their mental disorders. Adhd, Autism and chronic depression. Autism forced me to be far more observant of my peers if I wanted to have a social life. Adhd gifted me time blindness and the ability to hyperfocus on whatever tasks gave me dopamine, and Autism complimented that nicely with a shock to the nervous system when I was expected to change gears out of what I felt was safe into something I did not.

I had many avenues before me because of this; theatre was what my adopted parents assumed I would pursue. But then chronic depression came in with the steel chair at the end of highschool and no, no I did not do theatre, that shit takes too much energy for too long of a period of time.

So. Art.

Why am I so genetically good at art? Well, and this is again Probably The Autism, I'm very good at recognizing and retaining visual patterns, I'm super interested in body language and costuming and micro-expressions--all things I need to pay attention to if I wanted to be liked by allistic classmates--and drawing quite literally regulates my nervous system, so I'm gonna do it often just to cope.

I don't have a fucking 'artists' gene. I have a brain that is predisposed to certain pattern recognition and through access to resources (GLASSES, I AM BLIND AS SHIT AND WITHOUT GLASSES NONE OF THIS WOULD BE POSSIBLE) was able to find and cultivate hobbies that either worked with or helped regulate the myriad of bullshit I won through the genetic lottery.

I'm a good artist bc I put in the work. I put in the work bc my brain is wired to really like certain work. It didn't have to be art. If i were less depressed, it could have been theatre--either writing, performing or directing. If I was less autistic, it might have been something with more abstract thinking and less focused on decrypting human expression and repurposing it in ways that I Personally Like. If I was less ADHD, it could have been more academic studies, like Marine Biology since I really wanted to do that when I was little. If I didn't have exercised induced asthma, it could have been competitive swimming, bc my swim teacher really thought I had a gift for it. If I didn't have dyscalculia, it could have been something that involves number crunching and long distances, bc I don't understand that shit for beans, completely locking me out of a large chunk of possible careers.

And maybe without all of that, I wouldn't have had the perfect cocktail to give enough of a shit to be good at anything. Maybe I would have just been an office clerk, making a decent wage and filling my cubicle with anime figurines.

[durgesupremacy]

durge fic writing process thoughts: guilt versus shame

Write whatever you want! Headcanon your best life! And, I noticed a pattern in how I think about durge's character arc, especially because I'm currently writing an evil-to-the-end durge. No one asked for this (though asks are open!) but here it is, some rambling on how my durge(s) feeling guilt vs shame for their urges impacts whether they choose violence / stay evil.

(apparently the brand for this blog is Long Post Only)

I have a *lot* of oc durges. I'm writing Solace (they/them wood elf rogue / fighter) because they're the only one who fully pursues Gortash pre- and post-tadpole and I want to write durgetash rn. But in my weird personal multiverse of durges, the ones who were self-satisfied and confident pre-tadpole are the ones who become more "good" post-tadpole. The durges who were the most troubled pre-tadpole are more likely to do evil things, or at least be morally flexible.

Why? For me, a durge who experienced some kind of self-confidence, fulfillment, and/or pleasure during their time as a Bhaalist murder baby enters tadpole life with a seed of self-acceptance. Though they can't remember why, their amnesiac self has some preexisting inclination to like themselves for who they are and have more trust in their own judgment. They experience their urges for a second first time with enough security in themselves to reject them. They feel guilty, but they don't think this is who they are. (The internal conflict at this point is accepting their villainous past, which will be differently fun to write if I ever do it).

But a durge who moved through their Chosen of Bhaal phase with fear, insecurity, and/or low self-worth enters tadpole life with vestiges of self-loathing. Their broken brain leaned into traumatic rewiring, and when they re-encounter their urges they're predisposed towards self-hate and identify with the urges instead of challenging or rejecting them. Being Bad makes more intuitive sense to them than being, idk, Good with a Serious Problem. Something is wrong with them. They feel shame.

But without their memories, they don't really know why. Depending on party composition they can get praised and rewarded for the things they feel ashamed of. And in time, they realize they don't have to feel shame - after all, it's their reaction. They can react differently. If they stop fighting their "true nature" they can finally enjoy themselves. They'll even get rewarded for it and more or less have what they need to survive. (There's a whole other point of analysis here on companion interactions and community vs isolation, I can write that at some point if we're into it).

Ultimately, my post-tadpole self-loathing villain-arc durge is tempted not just by the urges, but by not feeling bad about themselves. Without their memories of who they were and why they should feel ashamed of that, they have the freedom to indulge in their worst traits. It might look like self-acceptance, but it's not. They just stopped caring about anything and followed the dopamine. And the more they give in to their "true self," the more inevitable it seems to them that their only path towards meaning and worth is through Bhaal. (At least it makes Solace go perfectly with Gortash. Misery doesn't love company so much as it hates being alone).

I guess this feels worth saying because I've seen nuanced discussion about durge's capacity for redemption, but the evil arc for durge seems mostly like them leaning into misc Bhaalist insanity and/or being very comfortable in their evil. I'm curious about (and enjoying) writing an evil durge that's less unhinged and is experiencing more relatable emotional arcs, even when we can't relate to their stabbing. Hopefully.

Stay tuned for more rambling

[cryptidsurveys]

Thursday, September 5th, 2024.

Who do you talk to about personal problems? Mainly my dad and my therapist. I have started opening up to my mom a little bit (not only with problems, but with things of a personal nature, the past, etc), but I'm trying to do it in small increments that way I can draw back at any time if things get too uncomfortable. And I could go to Oliver, but I prefer not to. There was a time in our friendship when I leaned on them far too heavily; it wasn't healthy and I don't want to repeat it. I know that they would be there for me if I needed them, but it's enough to simply feel their supportive presence while chatting about random whatnot, laughing over a silly video, or something like that.

Do you wear make-up? I haven't worn makeup for years. This is apparently how my brain works: I would wear it if I had any actual skill, but I'm not willing to practice in order to develop that skill. So…barefaced it is.

Do you shower daily? Not quite. There's usually one day a week when I don't bother, and today was that day. My dad and I went to the Mountain Park and aside from a brief stop at Carl's Jr. I wasn't planning on being around anyone long enough (or close enough) for it to matter.

Do you think any guys are going to take this survey? It's possible. I know of at least one guy in the survey-taking realm, but will he take (or has he taken) this survey specifically? Idk.

Do you love to shop? I actually really enjoy going grocery shopping, especially during the holiday season. I go a little bit overboard when it comes to holiday treats. When it comes to other things, it's like a potential addiction that's reasonably well-controlled. I know I don't truly need (or sometimes even want) new things. It's just my brain looking for that dopamine hit or attempting to fill a void, and I can usually catch myself before making a pointless purchase.

What is your favourite accessory? Do lip piercings count? I've had them for so long that I wouldn't feel like myself without them. I have an Italian charm bracelet that I wear all the time as well. Rings are also nice, but I only wear them occasionally.

Tampons or pads? Blah.

How old were you when you had your first boyfriend? I was just about to turn 13. I'm not even sure if I should count it because it was a middle school relationship, but we did date for a little over a year. It also raises the question of which relationships should count because it's not like there was a hard line between serious and unserious. Although, tbh, I don't think I've had one that was truly serious… I loved those people, sure, but damn - none of those relationships were mature, healthy, or sustainable.

If you were to have sex right now, would you use a condom? I don't want to have sex with anyone.

Do you think it’s bad to have sex at your age? No.

Would you cry if you got pregnant? Yeah. Definitely not happy tears. This is why I would probably refrain from sex in certain situations - I just don't trust various forms of birth control to do their job and I don't want any surprises.

Do you have real or fake fingernails? Real.

Are you content with the current weather? Yesss. It's cool and cloudy and it's been raining on and off all day. Perfect Mountain Park weather with undeniable hints of autumn.

Do you own many pairs of shorts? No.

Is there a place you’d rather be right now? I'm fine with being here for the time being, but I am serious when I say I'm going to take some extra time off here and there to get out to the mountains. At least…I hope I'm serious. Future Me, don't let me down, okay? Take some fvcking TIME for YOURSELF.

Is there an article of clothing you need to buy right now? There was an article of clothing I wanted to buy, but I ended up getting it for free thanks to Veronica (a board member at the animal shelter). She was in the other day and saw me wearing a staff shirt, so she asked, "Does that mean…or are you just…?" And I was like, "Yeah, I'm still just a volunteer, ahah." But she had me go up to the front where they have some shirts and merch and such and pick out a few things, one of which was a pine green sweater I had been eyeing. I was planning on buying it once the weather cooled off if it was still there, so…score! :')

Is there a situation you currently feel hopeless about? Kind of, yeah, which is funny because this situation is going to end come September 21st. Alex is leaving!!! My brain just can't seem to comprehend that it's going to be over sooner than I think, and then I'll never have to deal with her again. I am so excited to see how our little cattery group will develop after she's gone. I feel like it's going to be so much more supportive and chill.

Have you ever wanted to get drunk and take your mind off of everything? In the past, yeah. Nowadays, getting drunk just sounds…ugh. Fun in theory but probably regrettable in reality.

How long does it take you in the shower? 10-15 minutes.

Does your password have to do with a person? One of them does.

Do you believe that it is best to have a friendship first then love? I don't know what's "best," but I would like to take things slow in future relationships.

Do you have any fun plans for tomorrow? I'll be at the animal shelter for a full day.

Have you ever had to choose between two people? Maybe kinda sorta.

Do you think 2018 will top 2017? 2018 was an absolute dumpster fire. Probably the rock bottomiest of all my rock bottoms. The following years were a jagged climb, but THANK GOD I am so far away from that place now.

Have you ever been in a hospital? Yeah.

[illnessfaker]

Porn addiction is a real thing. Anyone can be addicted to anything, it’s when you over observe a substance where you can’t go without it

Like sex addiction, if you were in constant need of sex at all times every day and you can’t stop thinking about it that’s an addiction. If you can’t go five minutes without porn the buddy you are addicted 

what a disgustingly reductive way of looking at addiction and the human mind! anyway, since you apparently need your hand held:

Pornography addiction is not recognized by the American Psychological Association (APA) as a mental health problem or disorder, like drug or alcohol addiction.

Moreover, according to the DSM-5 (Manual of Mental Disorders — the world's authoritative guide on psychological disorders) pornography and sex addictions are not a psychological disorder. Some disorders the DSM-5 does recognize are addictions to gambling, alcohol, drugs, and most recently, online gaming.

The reason for this comes down to neurochemistry. While watching porn may activate similar pleasure circuits in the brain as, say, alcohol or heroine, most experts agree that doesn't mean you can become addicted to watching porn in the same way.

That's because addiction to substances, for example, not only activates your brain's pleasure circuits, it actually changes your brain chemistry so that you can no longer release feel-good chemicals like dopamine as effectively without the help of the drug you're addicted to.

And as far as researchers can tell, this is not the case for porn addiction. So what's going on instead? The more likely scenario is that porn addiction is more closely related to a type of compulsive, obsessive, or habitual behavior than substance abuse or addiction.

In fact, people develop compulsive, obsessive, and habitual connections to many things in their lives, especially if those things alleviate anxiety or fulfill a sense of longing or loneliness.

There's also the fact of the matter that — much like the rest of sexuality — enjoying erotic content is often done in secret and without context. In fact, most of the US has no or purposefully incorrect sexuality education — especially for young adults. This creates an environment for folks to misunderstand the erotic entertainment they are enjoying.

Therefore, what people refer to as porn addiction is essentially a conflict of values that's leading you to think you're addicted, says Nicole Prause, PhD, a neuroscientist who researches sexual psychophysiology and is a practicing psychologist at Happier Living.

For instance, a large 2020 study published by the APA found that people's cultural, moral, or religious beliefs may lead them to believe they are addicted to pornography, even if they don't actually watch a lot of porn.

"If you think you are struggling with pornography, it is most likely that you are actually struggling with a conflict of your own personal values around your sexual behaviors, and not really the porn itself," says Prause.

you're welcome, buddy.

[thegeminisage]

ASK MEME

i got tagged by @runawaymarbles, tyvm i lov doing these

What book are you currently reading?

no books atm but i'm actually getting through the entire tag of a rarepair from ff13...only 41 fics :(

What’s your favorite movie you saw in theatres this year?

did i go to a theater this year...? surely at least once. OH YEAH i went to see sonic 2. since that's the only movie i saw in theaters this year that'll be my favorite one

What do you usually wear?

comfy-at-home clothes: tank top, shorts, no-show socks, hair fork, & bandana. out & about clothes: bandana & hair fork if i'm working or my hair needs washing, otherwise i keep it loose. a lot of black pants/shorts and bright glittery monochrome or tye-dye tank tops w/ black or rainbow choker, rainbow earrings, pride bracelet, smiley face ring, rainbow ring, ace ring, and sometimes my triforce necklace. if it's cold i will also wear rainbow arm warmers/socks and fingerless gloves with the pink peace symbols on them. if i'm REALLY dressing up i will wear rainbow tights under a long shirt or short dress. wow sorry this is the longest answer so far i just really love bright fashion!!! i can't believe god nerfed me by making plus sized clothes fucking suck so bad

How tall are you?

5’1 :/

What’s your Star Sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?

i think i'm actually a cancer LMFAO. and stuck with this username...idk about any celebrities but my birthday IS on the summer solstice which is absolutely bitchin' in my professional opinion. i could not possibly have asked for a better date although i do wish it didn't have to fall on father's day sometimes

Do you go by your name or a nick-name?

i go by liz which is not my legal first name. technically my legal middle name isn't liz either it's like elizabeth obviously but my first name is cringefail and nobody can spell it OR say it so i just don't tell most people what it is lol. i started going by liz when i was in 8th grade and sometimes my mom STILL messes it up...

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

no BUT as a kid i really really really really REALLY wanted pink hair. as an adult no one can stop me. kid me would be so jealous of adult me's look in EVERY way

What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at?

good at: dreaming. you know how in the 40s-60s most people dreamed in black and white because that was how tv looked? apparently if you play enough video games you'll get so good at controlling a simulated environment you can simply wake up on command. i never completely mastered lucid dreaming but it's a neat trick anyway. bad at: sleeping. exhibit a: i am answering this meme at 2:30 in the fucking morning, and i have not had 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep since december 10. that's like 28 days!

Dogs or cats?

CATS!!!!!!! i like dogs too tho

What’s something you would like to create stuff for?

i would love to draw some zelda art. i just need a new tablet sadly none of the old ones work with my pc

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favourite picture/favourite line/favourite etc. from something you created this year?

UGH i can't post it, it's in the undisclosed project

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

so a very long time ago when we were teenagers my brother showed me minecraft. i played half an hour of it and then gave the controller back and told him i couldn't keep going because i would quite literally never put it down if i did. unfortunately i did NOT show that same level of foresight and self-restraint when downloading the demo of SLIME RANCHER. in my defense i was utterly unprepared for its sheer potency. i played exactly four minutes of the demo before i caved and bought it - $5 was a steal - without realizing how absolutely lethal it is to combine adhd with a farming sim especially during seasonal depression months. this thing has been churning out dopamine so fast my stupid little rat brain can't keep up. i'm frying every last pleasure receptor i ever had as thoroughly as i possibly can. i am begging one of you to physically come to my house and uninstall it from my pc.

What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

andor 🙏 sorry to all andor enjoyers but it fucking sucked (except for the prison break)

What’s a hidden talent of yours?

i'm freakishly good at packing things. items into boxes, boxes into vehicles, organizing drawers and closets, etc. at my house we call it "tetrising" since i guess that's a pro gamer move that translates to the real world..................

Are you religious?

no i am disqualified for being gay <3

What’s something you wish to have at this moment?

a completed copy of this photo album i'm supposed to be making. i got behind bc i was playing slime rancher :(

ok im tagging @slaygentford @maulthots @brownbicon @machidielontheway @paty-ofarrell @ozymandiasdirge @moogleterra @marcelgerard @elsa12tmnt @smellslikebot @youngbenkenobi and anyone else who wants to do it, do it & say i tagged you!!

[kindnessinsilver]

Okay I put this in the tags if another post last night but deleted it bc it wasn't actually the place and I'm gonna share my thoughts but might not even tag this idk.

Re: that post abt the trc fandom disappearing post greywaren

First: I like a lot of the dreamer trilogy. I pretty well liked greywaren. I'm not as attached to either as I am to trc, but I did genuinely enjoy them.

Second: I am a trc fandom baby. I am a fandom INFANT. I got into these books about 3 weeks before Greywaren came out, and got to Greywaren about 3 weeks after it came out.

Third: They ate my brain for 3 months. I read TRC twice in the space of two weeks, then TDT, with greywaren specifically twice in a row. I then followed with Scorpio Races and All the Crooked Saints. I genuinely coukdnt read anything not Stiefvater for THREE MONTHS bc my brain was like "this is where the dopamine lives, nowhere else".

Third: I also read a fair amount of Maggie's blog and her thoughts about the series, including the notes that came out right after Greywaren was published. I've read 11 of her books. I own the writing seminar she put together and have watched about half of it just to listen to her talk. I like her art a lot and think her music is neat. I am Not Normal about Maggie Stiefvater.

So. Given the givens, my thoughts. The post I saw was the one going around about how the fandom died after Greywaren came out. I can't really speak to this bc I couldnt look at the tags until I finished Greywaren. So I only really know the fandom post-Greywaren. TRC is what brought me back to tumblr tho, after probably 4 years of only casually being interested in what was happening over here. I needed people to yell with and I found them here.

What I can speak to and apparently cannot prevent myself from speaking to is a lot of the notes on that post. There was a lot of talk of her being bored with the series, of wishing she had taken more time, of feeling betrayed by it not being the series she wanted/she had promised.

I am in many ways a Stiefvater apologist. I am. Yeah, she was probably kind of bored with the series. She was overwhelmed. It was 7 books and 10 years, and she was tired. She's stated that she's never going to write a series again. She's over the whole concept. Series are hard, the final book in a series is especially hard. I think we can look at George RR Martin and Patrick Rothfuss for truth there.

And maybe it feels as tho she should have gone the way of those 2. Not finishing the story, or putting it odd for longer to get it right. But a- I feel like that actually would have sucked more and gotten her more shit, and b- I have a feeling it wasn't an option given her contracts. And taking more time was probably not an option given her contracts. She had signed on for 3 books, possibly within a timespan, and three books she had to give them.

As go "this wasn't the Ronan series she promised" and "I hated the universe/big pieces of thr plot", we go back to the scholastic contracts. They didn't let her write the story she wanted. She had different titles she wanted, there was a whole different plot and vibe. The fucking Moderators weren't her idea. And yeah this comes directly from her statement post greywaren publishing, where she still had to be careful and still needed to sell books, but personally I believe her. If you've ever listened to her talk about writing, you know she has specific stories she wants to tell. Stories that matter to her and feel important. She'll make concessions based on marketability or what she believes the audience would like more, but she wants to tell a specific story. And she didn't get to do that with TDT and I think it pissed her off more than she let on.

I also think it's pretty fucking clear she isn't super happy with Greywaren. She literally nailed a copy of it to the wall. Like pounded a handmade wrought iron nail through a hardback copy of the book and then put it on the wall in her study. She was soooo fucking done. And it might feel like a betrayal of her readers and the series to be tired of the series and to give us a book that feels tired of and annoyed with the series, but she's a person as well as an author. She has opinions and desires and things she does and doesn't want to be doing. And for the sake on contracts, commitments, and not disappointing readers, she kept writing books she maybe didn't care about anymore. There's enough neurodivergence in the fandom that the difficult nature of that should make sense, right?

I saw at least one person say they aren't going to get any more of her books, and like obviously that's a choice you get to make, it feels like a shitty one. Personally I'm pretty excited to see what she does next. She's apparently working on a fairly long adult novel that's got her excited again. I love reading stuff written by people who are excited to be writing it, so I think this none is gonna be a good time. But idk, her writing style just makes my brain go brrrr.

Also i don't know how relevant is to the point I'm making but I still need to say it:

Idk how many people know/remember/consider that 2 of these seven books were written and published while she was like. Actively dying. Or suffering from a condition that was pretty damn close to killing her. TRK and CDTH were written in the fucking height of her symptoms while no one was paying attention and getting a dx was really fucking hard. She talked about putting a lot of her experience with illness into Ronan, and Addison's is a disease of lack of energy and sleeping too much and missing a lot of your own life because of it. And maybe thats why Greywaren felt right to her, and maybe that's why TRK and CDTH feel different to the books before and after them. Or maybe I'm reading too much into it all and my hyperempathy is getting the better of me.

Idk yall I just. Like Maggie.

[controlledchaos1342-blog]

this made me jump down a rabbit hole of how the two sets compare and while i'm not up to dealing with the full deep-dive [i have clawed into the walls of this rabbit hole and refuse to fall any deeper for the time being] i will share my findings. literally just stuff from wiki, i am not trained in anything like this but still;

The Humors:

~ Blood / Red / Sanguine: Enthusiastic, Active, Social Spring, Hot, Wet

~ Phlegm / White...? / Phlegmatic: Reserved Not just what we call phlegm today. includes sweat, saliva and s*m*n Associated with the brain O.o Winter, Cold, Wet

~ Yellow Bile / Take a Guess / Choleric: Ambitious, Decisive, Aggressive, Short-Tempered >.> waste products... look it up if you seriously want it to be more specific... Summer, Fire, Hot, Dry

~ Black Bile / Seriously Why? / Melancholic: Origin is the spleen Believed to cause depression and cancer when in excess Autumn, Cold, Dry

Modern Chemical Thingies:

~ Dopamine: Made in the brain and kidneys Neurotransmitter [messenger delivering mail to cells] Important component in Reward Motivated Behavior Has influence over motor control and controlling the release of various hormones Not really a "happy" chemical but an "anticipation" chemical

~ Serotonin: Does a lot of things regarding brain functions [learning, memory, mood, cognition, reward] and 'numerous' physiological things [food ejection and vasoconstriction/when you blood vessels start shrinking] Made in the central nervous system, mostly made somewhere in the gastrointestinal tract My breaking point: getting thoroughly lost here holy frick

~ Cortisol: Increased when stressed Increases blood sugar Suppresses immune system Aids in metabolism of fat, protein, and carbohydrates Decreases bone formation Not looking further I've learned my lesson and i need sleep but that ain't happening right now

~ Adrenaline: Alt Name: Epinephrine Involved in regulating visceral functions [unsure what that means. i think it has to do with the autopilot things] Looks something like white sugar apparently Well Known; Fight or flight activation > The Actual Effects; increased blood flow to muscles, heart output [?], pupil dilation response, and blood sugar level

bonus fun fact: adrenaline and cortisol both get made by the same area thing

is it just me or does the way people treat like "dopamine" and "serotonin" in modern pop psych context read exactly like balancing the humors

[dailyrandomwriter]

Day 681

One of the issues of having out of sight, out of mind memory when it comes to my own health is that unless I’m tracking it, or am trying to be mindful of it, I’m not aware of changes for bad or for good.

Coupled by the fact ADHD medication is an assistant tool and not a cure, has created an interesting moment today.

I was having trouble focusing earlier this morning, and was clicking into things I really shouldn’t at a rate that was telling me that focusing was going to be an issue. Now, I just got off of heavy antibiotics earlier this week and it’s a Friday. As much as it annoyed me, I figured, at least it is a slow week for my brain to not be fully there.

It’s something I don’t think people really talk about enough, but you’re never going to be fully functional even with medication. Part of it is having to unlearn bad coping habits, because part of ADHD is not being able to regulate your own dopamine. It’s the reason why video games and physical lists work so well for me, the immediate feedback is satisfying. It is also the reason why long term and vague goal planning can get a bit messy. 

And the other reason why medication isn’t the answer is because ADHD is complex, like anything with the brain it’s complex. There is also my occasional hyperfixations, occasional impulse control issues, or the weirdness that apparently most people lock up when they’re anxious or stressed where I feel the need to do the thing. There is a reason why ordering takeout to arrive 2 hours later so that I will stress clean to finish my list before my takeout arrives is a perfectly valid tactic.

So it made perfect sense to be a bit kind to myself that morning. Perhaps I just didn’t have enough capacity that week because of everything else going on.

At least… until I realized, about an hour and a half before noon, (so 10:30 a.m.) that I hadn’t taken my medication. Well, after mentally calling myself a dumbfuck, I went and took my medication, and then took a walk around my building. Got distracted by my neighbour’s daughter trying to teach another neighbour’s cat to tolerate a leash and harness for… longer than I would like to admit.

After I got back indoors and settled down to my desk, I then spent the next two hours banging out emails about appointments and cleaning up the ridiculous amount of database change requests. By the time 2 hours had passed I was well on track to getting some extra things I had wanted done.

I had wondered, as I was making a late lunch, if it would have taken me until I started absently reading fanfiction during working hours to realize something was amiss.

[garaksapprentice]

New Year, (some) new Goals

This post was originally published on my blog here.

An Unnecessarily In-Depth Explanation of How I Set Yearly Goals

It's a new year, which means that for me, it's time for a new set of annual goals. (These are NOT resolutions. Resolutions are fuzzy and vague, usually cliché things like "lose weight" or "be happier" or "achieve world peace". Goals are things that you can actually aim at, and with enough practice, hit.)

I started formally setting and tracking yearly targets a few years ago, and while I won't call it the cure to all that ails me, it's certainly been a helpful practice. And hey, 'tis the season for everyone's "how I set goals" posts, so who am I to rock the boat?

The TL;DR

I usually start this process sometime in December, whenever the urge to wrap up the current year and look towards the new one starts to itch me. (Incidentally, this is almost the exact same process I use when doing monthly goals, just with less introspection/review.)

It goes something like this:

Review the areas of my life and how things went over the last year.

Review last year's goals - what I hit, what I didn't, what needed changing part way through the year when it became apparent I'd picked an over-ambitious target/something I didn't actually care about, that kind of thing.

Do a brain dump of all the things I want to do next year. Delegate them by life area.

Refine the brain dump over a few days, until I have a reasonable number of targets to aim for over the coming year.

Break those targets down into the things I'll need to do to actually reach the goal I'm aiming for.

Review Last Year

I'll be honest, sometimes I do this after I've worked out the shiny new goals for next year. But I always try to do some form of yearly review, even if it's just a short, half-assed version of the "ideal".

I currently use a (heavily simplified) version of the practice laid out in Alex Vermeer's 8,760 Hours Guide for this step. Finding Alex's guide to use as a springboard was extremely helpful for me. I'd tried doing yearly reviews before, but they never really "stuck" or felt like they were worth the time. For whatever reason, 8,760 Hours was the guide that worked for me.

That being said, I've modified the review framework (usually by removing things) every year I've used it. Alex's guide is super in-depth - he takes a full week to do his review, and he goes hard. While I like to think I'm that kind of person, I'm really not. Some of the review questions and Life Areas Alex uses aren't applicable to me, so I removed or combined things where it made sense. While I love complexity (the PKM scene is like pseudo-academic catnip to my dopamine receptors), at the end of the day I need simplicity - something that both On The Ball Me and Off With The Fairies Me can do.

In the (checks notes) four years I've been using his guide as a framework, I've reduced Alex's twelve life areas down to eight. I've also removed, modified, and combined a LOT of the questions in each Deep Dive. (I removed two more while I was doing this year's review, in fact.) My ultimate goal is to get it down to where I can complete the entire review in about a day, while still feeling like I got my money's worth from the time spent navel-gazing instead of eating gingerbread and knitting.

Brain Dump

Reviewing one's past actions is great and helpful and definitely a path to world peace or Ultimate Effectiveness or whatever, but for me, the brain dump is where the rubber hits the road. I always start my longer-term planning with a list of things I want to do, whether it's for the year or the month. It's essentially a real-life version of "What could happen next?", the question I ask myself whenever I'm running out of plot in my fiction work.

This question is designed to be a free-for-all. I don't let little things like the space-time continuum get in the way at first - it's just one big bullet list of things I've been dying to get to, things that have been bugging me that I want to fix, and usually a few things I feel obliged to add (because I know they're important, but I'm not really enthused about them). Most of the time I've got the first list version finished in ten to fifteen minutes.

(Sometimes there's one specific pile of stuff that's bugging me, making it hard to focus on grander things. (Usually it's the fact that the WIP pile has blown out again, or the house has reached an ill-defined but completely unacceptable level of disrepute. This year it was both.) When that happens, I brain dump all that first, in a separate list. That usually shuts up the brain weasels, and frees up enough mental RAM to get the bigger picture/longer term stuff down.)

Refine the Brain Dump

Once I've got everything down, I keep the list open on my computer and let it percolate for a few days. This lets my subconscious chew on it while I add, remove, and change things. This year's brain dump list ended up with 22 items. That's a typical number for me (the most I've had is 25, the least is 19.) Some are pretty modest, but most are things that will take a fair chunk of the year and my dedication to accomplish (as befits yearly goals).

I also work out which buckets/life areas things fit into - there's usually clear distinctions for most goals (writing, fibre arts, health and fitness etc). If there's lots of goals in one or two areas, and only a couple in others, then that's a pretty good clue about what my next year is going to focus on.

Next comes the hard part - triage.

The first triage step is trying to narrow my "I definitely want to do this thing" choices down as much as possible. This is hard. Everything on the big list is shiny and new and feels so important and urgent right now. That's why I keep the list open after I've made it - looking at it frequently, but not necessarily actively engaging with it, helps my subconscious start to pick favourites. Even so, I'm doing well if I've narrowed the list by half after the first pass.

The second triage step is working out how many of my goals are process-oriented, and how many are product-focused. Process goals involve doing a thing on a regular basis, or for a certain amount of time, every {time period}. Weave for 2.5 hours a week, go hiking twice a month, that sort of thing. They're heavily focused on small, consistent efforts over time, and they're intended to last the entire year.

Product goals require me to do/make a thing, or achieve a benchmark. They're things like "sew X new items for my wardrobe", "finish revising novel Y", "compete in/attend X event". Once that thing or benchmark has been reached, that goal is finished and I don't have to worry about it any more. While I still have to put in time and effort to get to the finish line, it can be much more focused than with a process goal - if I want, I can spend three straight days sewing a shirt, and then not think about my wardrobe goal for six months.

It's both very important and extremely tricky to get the balance of Process to Product right. Human brains LOVE habitual activity and consistency, but they can only deal with so much of it being piled into them at once. (This goes doubly if you're neurodivergent.) I've learned to tilt the balance pretty heavily towards Product when I'm writing my final list.

I try to only have one new process-oriented goal to focus on, at most. Any more than that, and I'm less likely to hit what I was aiming for. (Many of my process goals carry over in some form from year to year. For instance, I always have a word count goal, and some form of fibre-related goal.)

An example: last year, three of my goals were writing related - establish a consistent writing routine, publish at least one blog post a month, and finish revising a novel. The first two were process goals, the last one product-focused.

While I made good progress on all of them, and was happy to declare success based on the spirit of the exercise, I didn't hit any going by the letter of it. Sure, I published 14 blog posts last year - two more than the target! - but there were three months when I posted zero. And while I made my yearly word count target, my consistency was, uh, not great.

Break down the targets you're aiming for

Which brings me to my next tactic. When possible, have more than one way to measure a goal's success.

This is especially important for process goals, which by their nature are easier to 'fail' week to week. Having multiple success conditions gives you greater leeway for when Life Happens At You. Nothing is more demoralising than something happening early in the year, that throws you off your so-far perfect streak, with no way to fix it.

How does this work in practice? I take the weekly or monthly goal that I'm aiming for, multiply that number out to a year, and use that as my secondary aiming point. So "weave 2.5 hours per week" becomes both "weave for at least 130 hours over the year" and "weave 10 hours and 50 minutes every month". If (when) I don't hit 2.5 hours one week, it isn't as big a deal - I can look at how many minutes I was short, and roll that into the weeks left in the current month.

This approach saved my bacon several times last year. I had a couple of big, multi-day conferences and camps that sucked a lot of time and brainpower out of my usual schedule. If I'd just been measuring weekly adherence, I would have "failed" in April and May when I simply didn't have the energy to do that much weaving on top of all the conference prep. But because I was measuring monthly as well as yearly, I simply rolled the two weeks I took off into the weeks before and after the events, and still hit my monthly weaving target.

It can help to think about what the actual point of the goal you're making is, too. For me, the ultimate goal of "establish a consistent writing routine" isn't to have a consistent routine - it's to write more words. I really had no idea what that looked like in January last year. So I decided that "consistent" writing was 30 minutes a day, three days a week. AND I set a year-long word count target of 75,000 words. (I beat the 75k goal by 48 words, but my consistency still sucks.)

Same with blogging. The point behind "publish a blog post a month" is partly to have a consistent output, but it's also to write more words. So as well as the one-a-month goal, I also set a year target of 12 posts, total. Did I post to the blog every single month? Nope. Did I post twelve or more times in the year? Yep! Was that more than I would have posted without having a goal to aim for? Absolutely!

Last, but definitely not least, is to update your approach as the year progresses. Whatever I pick as my 'yearly goals' right now don't have to be the things I work on all year. Life gets in the way, my needs change, I have more or less (usually less) time and energy available than I thought I would.

So I give my "final" goal list (and attached success metrics) a going-over in March to see how it's shaping up. Depending on the year, I'll give it another interrogation in June or July, and adjust or drop goals as needed. Remember, your goals serve YOU, not the other way around.

Last year I started January with nine goals - I had three life areas, and three goals in each area. It turns out that's too many for me to focus on over a year. In March, I dropped one of those goals, and by May, I'd dropped a second. (Both of the dropped items were process goals - things I wanted to do every day or week. They were also, not coincidentally, things I'd added out of a sense of obligation more than actual excitement.)

The Final List

No talk of goal setting would be complete if I didn't share my final list. (I'm also doing the Habitica's New Year's Resolutions set of Challenges again this year, and the first one involves sharing your goals on social media.)

Buy a house

Publish at least one blog post a month/12 blog posts in the year

Maintain daily streak on 4TheWords/write 75k new fiction and 15k non-fiction

Maintain a 5:1 spinning:weaving ratio (ie spend 5 hours spinning for every 1 hour of weaving)

Get - and then keep - the WIP pile below 10

Make at least three new items for my wardrobe (socks don't count)

Attend HEMA training at least four times a month during terms

Take the younger kid (and thus me) roller skating at least 6 times

If we're lucky (or unlucky if you dislike this sort of talk) I'll do a check-in around mid-year to see how I've been doing. If we're less lucky, I'll do a year-end wrap-up thingummy to close out the year.

Either way, hopefully this extremely long and somewhat rambling break-down of my goal-setting is useful to y'all.

[googlesolitaire]

Is Solitaire More Than Just a Game?

Solitaire, a classic card game that has been a staple on PC evaluates for a really long time, may appear to be a straightforward pastime, often associated with snapshots of weariness or brief mental distraction. Notwithstanding, beneath apparently straightforward surface lies a game has captivated millions worldwide, offering something beyond a way to pass the time. In this exploration, we dig into the set of experiences, brain science, and impact of free online solitaire, trying to reveal whether this universal game is something other than a casual pursuit.

A Short History of Solitaire

The starting points of solitaire are somewhat subtle, with various speculations encompassing its initiation. One prevailing conviction is that the game has establishes in eighteenth century Europe, advancing from traditional card games played by the French honorability. Throughout the long term, solitaire went through various adaptations, with the most recognizable form being the one played with a standard 52-card deck.

Solitaire gained widespread popularity during the 1990s when it became a pre-installed game on Microsoft Windows. Its digital format made it easily accessible to a global audience, contributing significantly to its pervasiveness and cultural impact.

Past a Basic Game

From the start, solitaire may appear as a solitary game meant to kill time. Nonetheless, its getting through popularity proposes that it fills a more profound need for players. The following are several aspects that elevate solitaire past a simple game:

Mental Advantages

Critical thinking Abilities: Solitaire expects players to navigate through the layout of cards, making choices that impact future moves strategically. This stimulates mental capabilities, enhancing critical thinking abilities.

Memory Enhancement: The game necessitates recollecting the places of cards and anticipating potential moves, giving a delicate exercise to memory.

Stress Alleviation and Relaxation

Careful Distraction: Solitaire offers a straightforward yet charming task, allowing players to divert their concentration and momentarily detach from stressors. This careful distraction has therapeutic consequences for mental prosperity.

Calming Ritual: For many, playing solitaire turns into a calming ritual, giving a feeling of control and accomplishment during snapshots of anxiety or stress.

Digital Socialization

Online People group: With the advent of online gaming platforms, solitaire has turned into a shared encounter. Players can interface, contend, and share strategies, cultivating a feeling of local area among enthusiasts.

Historical Significance

Cultural Imagery: Solitaire, through its long history, has turned into a cultural image. Its consideration in Microsoft Windows added to its status as a pervasive digital companion, creating a shared encounter for clients worldwide.

Adaptability and Accessibility

Cross-Generational Appeal: Solitaire's effortlessness and accessibility make it a game that transcends generations. It's an extension between traditional card games and present day digital gaming, appealing to a broad audience.

Psychological Experiences

Understanding the psychological aspects of solitaire unwinds its persevering through appeal. The accompanying psychological factors add to the game's popularity:

Autonomy and Control

Feeling of Control: Solitaire furnishes players with an organized climate where they have command over choices and results. This feeling of autonomy is psychologically rewarding.

Reward Mechanism

Characteristic Rewards: Effectively finishing a game of solitaire sets off a feeling of accomplishment, releasing dopamine, the brain's "vibe great" neurotransmitter. This natural reward framework builds up proceeded with play.

Escape and Distraction

Escapism: Solitaire fills in as a temporary escape from reality, allowing players to submerge themselves in a task that requires concentration and concentration. This type of distraction can be therapeutic during unpleasant minutes.

Challenge and Mastery

Incremental Challenge: The game's trouble can be adjusted, giving players a feeling of challenge matched to their expertise level. This incremental challenge adds to a sensation of mastery and progress.

The Cultural Impact

Solitaire's cultural impact stretches out past its job as a game. It has become ingrained in popular culture, representing something other than a way to pass the time:

Notorious Status

Microsoft Windows Association: The consideration of solitaire in Microsoft Windows has made it a notorious part of PC usage for millions. Its presence on work areas worldwide has added to its acknowledgment as an image of digital pastime.

Images and Nostalgia

Web Culture: Solitaire has turned into a subject of web images, mirroring its persevering through presence in the digital landscape. Nostalgia associated with the game fills its proceeded with popularity.

Effect on Game Plan

Casual Gaming Impact: Solitaire's prosperity paved the way for the popularity of casual gaming. Its impact is obvious in the plan of many versatile games, particularly those catering to a broad audience.

The Development of Solitaire in the Digital Age

As innovation has advanced, so too has the way we engage with solitaire. The game's transition from physical cards to digital platforms has played a pivotal job in shaping its contemporary relevance. The advent of smartphones and tablets has made solitaire much more accessible, allowing individuals to enjoy a fast game at whatever point and any place they please.

Portable Gaming Upheaval

Pervasiveness on Cell phones: Solitaire has seamlessly integrated into the portable gaming landscape, turning into a staple pre-installed app on smartphones and tablets. Its presence on these gadgets guarantees that individuals of all ages can partake in a game with a basic tap of their fingers.

In a hurry Entertainment: The portability of cell phones has transformed solitaire into an in a hurry entertainment choice. Suburbanites, travelers, and individuals in waiting rooms can easily go to the game to fill spare minutes, further setting its job in present day daily life.

Online Multiplayer and Cutthroat Play

Global Contests: Past its solitary nature, solitaire has embraced the era of online multiplayer gaming. Platforms offer players the chance to engage in serious matches, transforming a traditionally solo encounter into a shared and cutthroat endeavor.

Local area Engagement: Online solitaire networks cultivate conversations, strategy-sharing, and even tournaments. This feeling of local area engagement transforms solitaire from a solitary activity into a social one, interfacing players from different backgrounds.

Technological Enhancements

Graphics and Animations: Digital forms of solitaire often accompany enhanced graphics, animations, and audio effects, elevating the gaming experience. These technological enhancements add to the game's visual appeal and overall happiness.

Customization Choices: Players can personalize their solitaire experience with various topics, card plans, and backgrounds. This degree of customization adds a layer of personalization, making the game more engaging for individual players.

The Therapeutic Aspect of Solitaire

Past its mental advantages, solitaire has also tracked down a place in therapeutic settings. A few examinations recommend that engaging in card games like solitaire may have beneficial outcomes on mental health:

Mental Rehabilitation

Rehabilitation Device: Solitaire, with its emphasis on critical thinking and memory, has been used as a mental rehabilitation instrument. In therapeutic settings, it very well may be a part of programs intended to enhance mental abilities in individuals recuperating from brain wounds or neurological circumstances.

Senior Engagement: For more established adults, solitaire gives a mentally stimulating activity that can assist with maintaining mental capability. Its effortlessness makes it accessible to many ages, adding to its popularity among seniors.

Stress Decrease and Relaxation

Care Practices: The engaged and tedious nature of solitaire aligns with care practices, offering individuals a meditative encounter. The act of arranging cards and making strategic choices can have a calming impact, diminishing pressure and advancing relaxation.

Digital Prosperity: In the digital age, where screen time concerns are prevalent, solitaire stands out as a relatively low-impact activity. Its effortlessness allows players to loosen up without the potential negative impacts associated with additional vivid digital encounters.

Looking Ahead: The Fate of Solitaire

As we plan ahead, it's clear that solitaire's legacy will continue. Its adaptability, accessibility, and immortal appeal position it as a game that will probably proceed to develop and track down new audiences. The following are a couple of considerations for the fate of solitaire:

Innovation in Game play

Variations and Challenges: Engineers may investigate innovative variations of solitaire to keep the game new and engaging. Presenting new challenges, card layouts, and game modes can add layers of intricacy for both seasoned players and novices.

Integration with Arising Advancements

Virtual and Augmented Reality: The integration of solitaire into virtual and augmented reality platforms could give a more vivid and interactive gaming experience. Players could wind up virtually rearranging and dealing cards in a three-dimensional space.

Artificial Knowledge: Advanced AI algorithms could enhance the game by giving personalized challenges, adapting to individual playing styles, and in any event, offering strategic ideas. This could cater to an extensive variety of expertise levels and inclinations.

Educational Applications

Learning and Improvement: Solitaire's mental advantages could be leveraged for educational purposes. Game engineers and educators could collaborate to create renditions of solitaire that specifically target learning goals, making it a valuable device in educational settings.

Cross-Generational Learning: The game's cross-generational appeal could be harnessed to facilitate intergenerational learning encounters. Whether in family settings or educational establishments, solitaire could act as an extension for sharing information and encounters.