#brain puddle thoughts

[prismaticpichu]

Lazard being driven absolutely nuts because Genesis, Sephiroth, Angeal & Zack all spell “ShinRa” differently in their reports.

Genesis: Shin-Ra

Sephiroth: ShinRa

Angeal: Shinra

Zack: Shinruh

[cupidskissx]

Lines from Charles Leclerc that make Max wiggle his foot like a dog wags its tail:

“memories that were less good became really good with time.”

“moments […] that are very funny.”

x

[stardustanddaffodils]

hey while we're all back in the dsmp feels. i absolutely think we need to talk about the fact that after tommy said "the discs were worth more than you ever were" tubbo took off all of his armor and put away his shield

[randonauticrap]

You know what's really sexy?

Jin's hands.

I can only imagine how the rough tips of his fingers, hardened by sword training and manual labor, feel as they glide up and down the soft skin of your exposed back. You experienced it first when you attended a ball with him while wearing a backless gown. He pulled you to him in that nonchalant, but very protective way of his, and his fingers cascaded down your spine and sent full body chills up your back.

He stroked your back up and down a few more times, and the room nearly became hazy because of how good it felt. You weren't used to people touching you there, and his warmth was as intoxicating as the whiskey he enjoys.

You found yourself unable to get your mind off of the feeling his calloused fingers against your skin, even in the days following, and you had to figure out how to work yourself into a situation where you could feel it again.

Just to make sure it wasn't a folly the first time.

[verved]

I should probably try an elimination diet bc sometimes I'll eat something innocuous and feel like someone put a blender to my brain but also as someone w/o any income who relies on other ppl for food, has difficulty with planning, and oftentimes is too sick to cook for myself, this is Quite Difficult.

[moonlitkissing]

the nursing haandjob post just melted my brain 😵‍💫

Mine too, trust me

Just thinking about a sweet boy lying between my legs, letting me hold him and stroke his cock and whisper praise while he's gasping and moaning and reaching for me ~

Ugh, i want that so bad

[pidoop]

Honestly still salty about my 22 y/o sister who last night called asking to kiss someone the first time “weird”, “cringe”, and even “millennial”??? And it’s so wild to me for a young woman to have such an anti-consent standpoint.

Like you’ve said you don’t get accosted at bars, and hooray for that. But as someone who’s been groped in what can barely be considered a crowd once or twice, I’m partial to establishing that someone respects and considers me early on.

And Ik you’ve only dated from your friend group (I do not), so you feel more comfortable reading each other, which once again, great. But that doesn’t guarantee safety or that they’ll magically know what you want in the future when you’ve established that it’s cringe to ask and better to guess.

That’s how people get it wrong and cross your boundaries without knowing. And then you’re hurt but feel like you can’t blame them because you didn’t say anything and how would they know? Misunderstandings that can often be avoided by establishing clear and open communication about consent from day one.

Starting off your very first physical and sexual interactions with clear verbal consent is an easy way to set the precedent of asking for consent. Like cool you’ve been going out with this dude for 8 months and never seen a dick. Regardless of your pace, you should be thinking ahead and establishing how you’d like to be treated in sexual scenarios as soon as humanly possible.

I guess I thought society had moved past “it’s just kinda weird and awkward to ask though”, “you don’t have to say anything to know”, “just feel it out”, etc.

It’s also so clear how this prude, sex-negative culture makes it so that you can be comfortable engaging in an act but still feel icky about asking about / for it.

[kissykalachuchi]

it's crazy how my catradora brainrot feeds my bakudeku brainrot, which feeds my togachako brainrot, which feeds my catradora brainrot... like wow, what a mess of a feedback loop. a gay-ass feedback loop. i swear to god it's always a blonde and a dark-haired bitch like woah. woah is this what drugs feel like.

[foggynelsonsluscioushair]

I adore the moment in a book when Character A changes what name they use for Character B. When they go from using a last name to a first, a pseudonym to a real name, a formal name to an informal one. I love how much it speaks to the level of intimacy one character feels towards another, how you can take note of the moment things change between them, how it almost divides the book into two parts. It's like catnip to me.

[absterstuff]

I had a nightmare that noise pizza tower was trying to stalk and kill me in my apartment,, he would loom behind me with a kitchen knife and whenever I turned around to look at him he disappeared and left a bootleg plush in his place and it was a different looking plush every time. this occurred for 5 dream hours and at the end my entire apartment was filled with plush noises it felt like hell

[prismaticpichu]

Angeal has walked into the room to find Genesis & Sephiroth wrestling on the floor. What happened this time, one may ask? Did Sephiroth besmear the good name of Loveless? Did Genesis sneeze on Masamune? Could they not decide on what to order for dinner?

Genesis discovered that Sephiroth drinks soup with a straw and wouldn’t stop calling him “Sephibroth.”

[lavampira]

I knew involving myste in this sidalia fic because of the timeframe & setting was going to be an emotional gut punch but I am well and truly spiraling over alia trying to console the inner childlike grief that she hasn’t pieced together is of her own making and the fact sid is helping and protecting it solely because alia wants to help said child and maybe a little that he was a traumatized child who grew up into a protector of traumatized children

[cathalbravecog]

Man... I can't stop thinking about the things that were talked about on the stream, especially the answer on my question - so... get ready for a ramble! its a long one. oops. i dont even know where im going with this, im just dumping my thoughts somewhere. half is about ttcc lore in general and the streams, the other half is about cathal and me projecting onto him deeper.

before i even hop deeper into this, it wasn't until early today that i learned that there was a whole drama about cranky's answers (regarding the graham and flint question and the whole "keep it sane" thing. i thought it was...off, but i understood it as 'do what you want people, just don't start any harassment because of ships and your favorite pairs'.

definitely could have been phrased better, though. at least we got a good response and an apology later from maven on twitter. but i legit did not know this was a drama until those twitter posts were made LOL. i dont interact with the fandom so i do not know how that answer was percieved by most. or if anyone except for me and my friends have had any thoughts about the question i asked that got answered.)

and what im tryna get to is that i get cranky isnt the one to be answering lore things, and probably didnt know what to answer... but it's still something to think about

because being told "cogs and toons just dont become how they are out of the blue" (paraphrasing here) as an answer to what cathal initially thought of seeing his dad be bet up and thrown off a tower is... confusing? he did say first and foremost that it has to be built upon before saying that. i understand that this is... a lot of characters! and cathal did have some focus on him thanks to the comic and they wanted to focus on other managers... but some have deeper, more intricate lore that's easy to grasp (especially the more, well, angstier managers like chip and misty.)

and we have gotten some extra lore for other managers like belle, mary, tawny.... thanks to thomas' rambles.

and it's definitely difficult for a team of volounteers working hard on a fan game together to make lore for all the characters, that are still very young in their *life span*, having been around for less than a year. despite ttcc being more character driven and focused on the cogs, it's still a game they have to run so they cannot focus on lore only and some game management has to be done first. there's a bunch of things they have to consider, like consistency and how fans may react, or possible themes or what they want the story to be...

and. yeah. its hard since. come on lets admit it. clash has an issue with how these are all given to us. hell, there's lore bits i still dont know about and im still learning because it's..so all over the place. a new player will not know about it. maven acknowledged this in the tweet and i really appreciate that, as it's honestly been my number one issue with clash, especially as someone who is there for the lore. (i mean, and the gameplay, i know some people who don't play the game itself much. well i sure do a little TOO MUCH because i have PROBLEMS. but im interested in the lore, too, yknow?)

some lore you cant learn from the wiki, and unless you interact with the community, you may never learn *where* all of this even is. if you werent live for certain lore there, it's hardly accessible to you. lore locked behind one time events, an arg website, wikis, discord chats... all that. it's hard to keep track of! i'm sure it's like that for both the fans and the writers. these characters are great, fun, and i love them, but the way we are given this information is... not the best. it's very easy to miss certain details.

it's especially bad if you're like me - only ever interacting with a close group of people you trust, (because people are scary especially a lot of... lore driven fans. yeahnoimeanshippers.sorry.and just big crowds of people in general) having only gotten back into the game recently AFTER most of the major lore events (first played once in 2019, then never again until january 2023) and also you dislike youtube and video content, so you dont watch it. something in your brain would rather if you step on a nail than watch a playthrough video (especially with commentary).

like in general it shouldnt be necessary to go through all these hoops just to know the lore! especially for things that may have little lore...

anyways, uh, back to cathal. i cannot stop thinking about this.

it definitely wasnt an answer to what i specifically asked - but possibly more so about... why cathal is the way he is? and despite what my brain and low self esteem during hard times may tell me - i do not believe that anybody is truly "lazy". i just dont think that exists. there's always some reason behind a person being unmotivated or lazy. even the little things!

but like... that's just kinda obvious. all toons and cogs have motivations. thats like... one of the basics of writing characters. have motivations for characters and reasons for why they are how they are. doesnt have to be anything tragic, just.... how they are as people.

it's totally unrelated to the question of what cathal thought about seeing his dad like that... but oh well! i asked that because i made up my own story around that already, and i just wanted to see what someone working on the game thinks about the same idea.

not to be Tumblr User CathalBravecog, but, of course I have projected heavily onto cathal. i have already stated how important cathal is to me as a character, especially with appreciating myself when im.. not exactly the most motivated. when im not doing much. taught me to appreciate breaks. hell! i keep preaching this myself. its okay to take breaks! and yet i often end up not doing it and i overwork myself on games and art and other things.

there's... a lot of things "wrong" with me that i don't have names for yet, especially due to not having a diagnosis for them, but they're very real feelings and they cause me to be unable to do things a lot of the time. various mental blocks and a new member of the gang... physical pai! hooray.

this... endless productivity we are forced and expected to do. it can take a toll on you. breaks are just as necessary and to say it's a thing that has to be re-learned is... sickening. hooray for living in a Corporate (clash) society, fellas.

one thing i can say is that i absolutely headcanon that cathal has adhd - though, maybe not the same type i do. i do not think he gets randomly hyper and wants to (and does) jump around everywhere and blurt things out randomly and impulsively. cathal here has the low energy, yknow.

i like that a lot of the content around him doesnt even describe him with the words "lazy" and "sleepy" instead.

every day is the same... even if his job is relatively simple, just watching over the camera feed - it's definitely boring... and having to do it every day is not rewarding. and being mostly alone and without consequence, he gives into wanting to do something else. he's got these huge screens and a room to himself, and he loves watching shows and cartoons... so he's gonna do that. it's more fun. it's stimulating. and especially with his dad being the one to give him his position, he knows that he's got nothing to really worry about there.

i also think it's a bit hard to be motivated knowing that... this war between the cogs and toons is just. endless. hell, again, he has to see his dad *everyday* be attacked by them. his body damaged after the fall - only to be fixed again. rinse and repeat. i would too, find it pointless. especially if you're like cathal, since i pointed out before that he is very kind and caring towards the other cogs. he's also thoughtful, noting that yknow... a lot of stairs to get to his room.

why do all that when you can chill... and feel good. do something that feels nice...

i don't have any names for this, but with how sleepy he usually is, that's definitely a thing to consider too. and just, from experience... being tired and/or sleepy it... dismotivates you even more. its so hard to start tasks even if you *want* to do them. and considering cathal mooost likely doesn't want to do his work on his own - then these tasks can be just. impossible to start.

like, i have struggled with this my entire life myself, just because of my adhd screwing with everything, but after getting covid and most definitely getting a form of chronic exhaustion from it.. things have been even harder. i pull myself through day and i barely have the energy to even start anything. sometimes i dont even do anything all day and... woops! still no mood or energy to do anything. i just work on random bursts of motivation and things that captivate me...

not sure how it relates to cathal, but, hey, if im personal here ill ramble about it too because WOW it has been biting me in the ass and i need to speak to Professionals About It

like... i dont think hes being "lazy" willingly, yknow? theres a reason behind it. it definitely is just... being sleepy, the comfort... the fun and stimulation doing something fun he's interested in (his shows) are just... stronger desires and way easier for him to get to. why struggle through something when it takes up all your energy, and then you feel no reward for it? yeah. exactly. even just "not feeling like it" is a reson. "not having energy" is a reason. hey, are these things to get better about if needed? certainly. i wish i could get help with this, it would help me in my life so so much. but should it be seen as ENTIRELY negative and as being a "hinder to society". hell nah. and i think thats swag. cathal is swag he can do this, good for him lmaooo. my brain is deteriorating i apologize.

there was... another thing i wanted to say, but i forgot. so i'll move on.

but just... yeah. i dont think cathal is just lazy. i dont believe in "laziness". he's got reasons for why he prefers naps and just... watching tv instead of doing his work. perhaps he does want to do these things, but gave up on trying. its not worth the effort, it does not feel good. its not stimulating enough to keep him going.

[atlaskrr]

I just watched nimona as someone who's never read the comics and FUCK I cried way more than I thought I would. I love how this whole thing can just be interpreted as a queer allegory especially nimona for all the genderqueer folks. The animation is just gorgeous. The STORY and dynamics man it owns my heart. Like that moment where ballistor and nimona start to grow closer and it just tingles my found family heart so much. Also the twists after twists and my shattered heart at the end.

Though I don't really know how to interpret the ending. Cause if nimona really came back that kind of makes the whole thing anticlimactic. At first i was like please still be alive but after everything I was like you know what that was a well written and impactful death So I don't think i want her to come back. If ballistor was hallucinating I'm gonna cry myself a river.

[azure-clockwork]

So we are one singular support cutscene into Edelgard’s route through Three Houses and holy shit, she’s gonna fuck me up so badly. As much as flirting with Dorothea would be fun and all, Christ the cross, the angst. She’s going right to the top of the ‘unhealthy obsession with traumatized women’ right below Harrowhark Nonagesimus. Does she beat Riza Hawkeye? Remains to be seen

…I may have a problem

[biff-adventurer]

FFxivWrite 2023 Prompt #9: Fair

She was asked to meet him in the yard at six. The setting sun made her nervous. Did it have bad news to give her? Surely if there was a man with the power to kick her out of the Willows, it was the one named Biff Guy. And then she’d be homeless! What if he simply didn’t like her? Or what if she said something silly? This was a bad idea. Just the two of them? Why did she not agree to Arslang’s offer that he come along!?

“Liliana?”

Liliana’s heart jumped as she stumbled forward, waving her arms around to reach for some kind of invisible balance. “S-S-Ser Guy!”

The man laughed while she caught her breath. “You alright there? I didn’t mean t’ come from behind, but ye didn’t hear me call fer ye.”

“O-Oh! Sorry about that!” She bowed deeply, hoping it would show him her sincerity. “I didn’t mean–I mean, I’m here! I’m here to chat, like you said!”

“Aye. Maybe I should’ve brought some tea. Ye like tea, don’t ye?” He moved to sit on a stone bench in the garden, waving her along. “It’s almost dinner time, though. Didn’t wanty spoil yer appetite. Uh, unless ye’ve already eaten. Then tea would’ve been good t’ get yer dinner down.”

Liliana quickly sat and looked to her lap. “You’re so kind, Ser Biff… Just like everyone says.”

His large, square hand gently pat her knee. “And what does Liliana Ivers think?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know. I don’t really know you personally. I’ve just heard all the stories. Like how you rode a dragon into Ishgard! And how you marched Doma to victory. And how you defeated Zenos in the Ala Mhigan Queen’s garden! And–”

“You like stories, eh?”

Her hands clenched. “Yeah… very.”

He sighed a little, but Liliana wasn’t sure why. She supposed he was disappointed. Maybe it was the way she sat. In fact, she could sit up a little straighter. She could pretend interest in the rose bush. Miss Pudada had done a good job on that. Red, red roses. All blooming happily, knowing exactly what they were made for.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

Liliana gasped and waved her hands. He looked so sad and confused and she did not know why. But she mustn’t get on his bad side. “No, no! It’s all my fault. I didn’t get into the spirit of things.”

“I gave ye the impression I didn’t want ye around,” said Ser Biff, shaking his head. “Really, I didn’t want ye t’ feel like ye had t’ come if ye didn’t want to. And I thought ye’d rather do somethin’ else with yer time. Like sleep an’ make sure ye’ve got the energy t’ do what ye’d rather be doin’.”

“I do like sleep,” she said, “but I don’t have anything like that. Not some… grand purpose, like you lot. I just wanted to find a good company to find footing in and keep a steady income. I’m really good at hunting, you know?”

“What else are ye good at?” He smiled, if just a little. “I’d like t’ know all about ye, little miss.”

“Me?” Her eyes went wide. “I’m just some green archer girl from the city! I’m not really good at anything else. Well, except gossip. I’m really good at getting the goss. Did you know the Wolves couldn’t get the gods to answer them?”

“No!” he gasped, intrigued. “How’d that come about?”

“I’m not sure. But I heard G’raha Tia asked them to leave, very forcefully! And he told them that no amount of coaxing could get the gods to listen to you no matter how much you yell like children on their lawns.” She giggled, fingers to her lips. “They said it wasn’t very fair.”

“Oh, o’ course they did.” He snorted and shook his head. “All they wanted was t’ be on the list.”

“The list?”

“Aye, the list. The imaginary list of important people who get t’ see gods. Y’know, it’s hard t’ ask anythin’ o’ the gods when ye see ‘em in the flesh. It’s a good thing a man can make his own destiny with his own two hands.”

“Or woman!”

“Or woman.”

“And whatever Zia is.”

“A fuckin’ legend. I’m humbled they joined us.”

Iliana tore her eyes away from Biff’s sunny smile. He was so much like a fluffy, excited hound and she knew not what to do with it. “How did… you find your purpose?”

“I don’t have a purpose,” said Biff. “I do what I want, so long as it don’t hurt nobody. And sometimes it hurts the right people, so ye can’t really call it wrong.”

She smiled to herself. “That must be nice.”

“What is it that you wanna do? Be a gossipmonger? It’d be nice not t’ rely on the Scions fer information, y’know.”

“What? That’s a thing?”

“Yeah. Ye never been to Ul’dah?”

“I’m too scared to go! I can’t make it on my own!”

“Who says it has t’ be on yer own?”