#brain empty like 4 like
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(don't look down look at bonnie)
#fanart#my art#sketch#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat bonnie#isat isabeau#isat spoilers#act 5 spoilers#siffrin#bonnie#isabeau#I love this scene#if you saw my “saves” post there's a save that's literally this sketch but bad#like I HAD the idea in mind but no power to sketch it#sketching 12+ Siffrins after going through 12+ saves is tough!#but I guess the way for me to get rid of burnout is actually actively sketching!#huh!!#over-imagined in my brain so much it burned out for a bit#it's 4 am now but my brain is no better than before#a bit empty and sad#anywayyyy
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hello tunglr. havent done art requests in a long time but i have been miserable lately. feel free to tell me to draw ur blorbos
#or just ask say random thingz i encourage yapping#or ask questions idk. i like talking about my ghost oc a lot but i dont think ive publicly posted abt him in a while LOL#(hypnotizing you) ohhh you wanna tell me to draw papa emeritus 1 or 2 or 3 or 4 or#or if u miss my old james bond fanart or other fandom stuffz. my brain is empty i need ideas thrown at me#im gonna be playing video games this evening though so soz if it takes me 8 years to actually respond to stuff HAHA#my art#art requests
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Haven't been making art lately but i have been building a lot on the sims 4 as my creative outlet so here's my first attempt at a modern style house i made today that im pretty proud of.
my user is McKlunk3y and this is posted on the gallery under "Earthy Modern Loft" if you wanna download it
#sims 4#simsblr#sims build#digital art#< technically. i guess. maybe idk#you may think to yourself “huh those pampas grass planters seem kinda haphazard” and they are. it was too empty and i didnt wanna landscape#i usually build on 15x20 lots and i ran out of them bc i didnt wanna bulldoze my wip builds.#anyway i rlly like this. the rooftop garden felt like a very big brain move
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Nick’s Disappointed Tired Dad Face when Jasmine/ Hancock/ Deacon/ One of his kids does something stupid that he knows he’ll have to clean up later.
#Look into his eyes. He is dead inside#But also someone is in for a scolding later.#He’s contemplating whether or not the person that he’s looking at is missing a brain or not.#He needs a “Worlds Best RoboDad” mug after this one.#Plz give him a hug. He suffers for all his kids stupidity because he loves them.#If it’s Jas being stupid he’ll just snatch her by the back of her jacket and haul her home kicking and screaming.#Take her away before she can do anything potentially dangerous and hurt herself.#Anyone else he’ll analyze the situation to be sure no innocent bystanders will be harmed during the stupidity.#Then he’ll let whoever is being mischievous learn the hard way while he scolds them in his Dad Tone.#Also why does this look like a meme?#Like you can put a though box or dialogue on the empty space besides him and it’ll be funny.#fallout#fallout 4#fallout4#fo4#nick valentine#deacon fo4#deacon#deacon fallout 4#john hancock#fallout original character#fallout oc
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i keep starting shows and dropping them soon after. i don't know if they actually aren't for me or if i just don't have the capacities to enjoy them right now.
i dropped first note of love after five episodes and while that song did get on my nerves it wasn't enough to actually drop an entire series i was enjoying otherwise. but out of nowhere i thought nah let's not do this. i barely made it through the second episode of affair which might have something to do with being terribly critical and much more nitpicky with gl than i am with bl (and tbf the show is badly done in a lot of ways and visually just so boring and i had just watched love lies bleeding twice in a week and was just so blown away by that). but i really liked the premise of it and wanted to give it a chance but i just wasn't feeling it. i watched two episodes of kidnap bc it seemed like light enough entertainment for me even after a draining week of class and i really like ohm but then i once again went nah let's not do this during episode three and dropped it. i am intrigued by the on1y one but i hesitate to start lest i drop it bc i just don't have it in me to enjoy something i would otherwise adore. i could rewatch something or maybe i just need to take a break from bl. maybe i have overdosed…
#now i am not watching anything which i also don't like#no important thoughts#ignore me#just rambling#this is stuff i would send friends but my social battery is empty so tumblr post it is#(it's a pattern i think: the more i struggle with talking to people the more personal posts i make.)#ugh i miss being excited#i think class starting also factored into me not enjoying the last few episodes of 4 minutes as much as the previous ones#i have trouble engaging with stuff emotionally when my brain is overtaken by apprenticeship#but i haven't yet cried from exhaustion and it's only three more weeks until autumn holiday. i am doing fine mentally much to my surprise#but it still eats up most of my energy and when i do stuff it's school related or friends from school related#but i want a show to look forward to throughout the week#it makes everything better#meins
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doing maths hw at 1 am cuz ive been procrastinating and i solved everything wrong then opened the calculator for 3 times 4 oml how am i gonna pass im so serious rn
#my brain is empty rn#i knew it wasnt 16 cuz rhats like 4 times 4 but#ill just finish this quickly so i can sleep#bro#im done#😭😭😭#and im using the phone s flash to see the paper#i cant even use it anymore tho cuz my phone s on 5 percent#but hey#tomorrow is a new day#🥰🥰#kisskiss#happy life#sunny#landscape#thurst day#and i lodt my pencase at school too#wowie mamas!!!!#wtf is a pencase i meant pencilcase goodbye#i need to sleep#iriurrgghhhh#im genuinely gonna pass out..........
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Omg I have this whole thing about Elias and weed in somewhere else.
In the versions where he gets his body back he does have a relationship with weed.
Ill talk b another universe A version bc Universe B has less versions with Martin or Elias there.
One version has them in an apartment Martin owns. Elias uses the balcony to study braile at night. He gets really close to a neighbor right above them who smoked weed on his balcony at night. They get really close and eventually the guy starts jumping onto the balcony Elias is on to smoke weed with him.
Elias is terrified that this guy eill Just be another Allan and is just waiting for Elias to "do something stupid" so he can shit talk him. But it never goes down that route. The guy is really nice and Elias eventually starts to open up to him. And soon they get into a relationship. Jon is really bummed out when he finds out Elias is dating this guy, but he never says anything.
Another version has Elias in a house his aunt owns and lets Martin and Jon stay there with him. Elias finds a box of his father's stuff and finds some of his pipes! Elias knows these pipes arent *his* father's but this world's Elias' father's. Elias gets his hand on weed bc weed is legal in this au and Elias has a really weird power trip smoking weed out his dad's pipe.
I like the idea of Jon quietly pining for og!Elias (even while potentially still in a relationship with Martin). Also imagine living in your alternate universe self’s family’s house and finding your alternate universe self’s fathers stuff. That’s the kinda shit that’d give you shrimp emotions.
Maybe he and Jon could smoke together on a quiet day in. God knows Jon could probably afford to unwind, and he might be curious enough to try (assuming he didn’t smoke while in uni).
And maybe in that 2nd universe they could kiss while they were both high, and Jon could feel guilty afterwards (but not enough not to do it again)
#sorry for the jon focus but in my brain all roads lead to jon#anyway jon and og!elias having a sort of unspoken kinship in somewhere else is fun to rotate i think#jon x og!elias#sorry for short and late reply#I just got back from spain like 4 days ago so things’ve been hectic as all get-out#and my brains a bit empty of thoughts rn#(i used most of what i had to make a je post earlier so now i’m running on empty lol)#tw drugs#drugs#drugs tw#<- just in case
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i am never fucking moving to an apartment that's not on the top floor of a building again
#squirrel speaks#i've not slept more than four hours a night in about three weeks now#because the upstairs neighbor decided that the best time to start walking around and SLAMMING her feet down is 3 am#it's technically not loud enough for us to be able to legally submit a complaint and when confronted she ofc lies and denies it#“it's not me; i was sitting here quietly; that room is empty” bullshit. she's thumping along DIRECTLY above our bedroom.#the whole CEILING is pulsing#i can feel the bed SHAKE UNDER ME with her footfalls#for HOURS AT A TIME#and it's not just me being oversensitive because my partner can feel it too; we're both near-equally agitated by it#tonight the stomping woke me up at 2 am and when it quieted down around 4:30 i went back to bed for a bed#sure enough in about 30 minutes it started AGAIN#so i just. had to sit there and have a little cry#by which i mean about 20 minutes of exhausted wailing#it feels like she's fucking beating my brain with a hammer#i'm overstimulated i'm sleep deprived i'm anxious and depressed and it's just too much#and i'm paying out the NOSE for this shitty apartment with the shitty loud fucking liar neighbors#and the tiny-ass kitchen where i can barely turn around#and the badly assembled hideous ikea furniture that's literally falling apart#ugh don't mind me venting i'm just. exhausted#so bloody exhausted my god#it feels like my brain is leaking out my ears
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...
#feelin weird. feelin real weird. in a bad way? no i guess not but more like im a haha wtf is happening here?#like i should maybe track my mood just so i can be like wtf is this? more bc i think its interesting#bc like i mean im spending ~11hrs in the lab and the stress has been real high and ive not been sleeping well#but like currently? i feel like i wanna run a mile. like i wanna run around in circles and scream and laugh until i cry#too much energy. too much energy. but y? where is it coming from? its weird#its like the edge of a headache. the cusp of turning. it doesn't quite feel bad yet but like i woke up at 4#and was insane until 6 when i had to get up and then i was in the lab all day until 6.30#and immediately i went for a run like empty stomach. i need to run now. and i still feel like that. like i need to run and run and run#but like y am i not exhausted? im not even tired? im vibrating#i watched the new successi0n episode twice and im losing my mind abt it#so its weird and i dont understand. but its not bad. it feels out of control like it feels fucked up but im not being like irradic#like if i was standing beside someone i dont think theyd notice. except maybe my sister bc i think if i talked id be noticeable#energetic. idk maybe im just exhausted and brain is pumping me with stress hormones so i csnt stop but i also csnt feel it#but i suspect its something to do with estrogen and progesterone levels changing which isnt great bc ive got a cycle that borders being#concerningly short but like idk rn its fun. im sure itll break and ill split apart but rn everything feels hilarious#its also weird bc im always like: y do i have so much energy after i dont sleep? is not sleeping thr answer. and today i was like hm#maybe i cant sleep bc i have too much energy. hm. idk its not bad. it doesn't feel bad#it just feels interesting and notable so im noting it. weird stuff. hopefully it pulls me thru tomorrow#bc my back fucking hurts lmao and its monday so ppl r back in the lab as i stand around for 11 hours#unrelated
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Man I hope the catie of the future finishes that paper that's due by the end of the day 🥹
#i wanted to say 'catie of tomorrow' but its technically already tomorrow#i consider tmr to be after ive woken up okay...#but i hate how this alwaus happens#i keep pushing it#and then try to work on it at like 4 am and im like hmmm why isnt my brsin working#this paper isnt frustrating me or anything its more just lethargy thankfully#i feel so heavy lately :/ i really struggle to get out of bed this week :/#and i actually feel pretty enthusiastic abt this paper#but brain js kinda head empty when i actually open the doc#not even that i cant think but more i cant put it into words#but ill see you tmr paper 🥺#i mean its never really a possibility that i wont finish a paper in time#the internal shame of that overrides any hesitation to write#but still cant not feel a bit itchy abt the due date yknow#catie.rambling.txt
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realising i had at least one 'public' breakdown a.k.a randomly starts crying uncontrollably at school or in public transportation omw from school every academic year during highschool and they didn't just start randomly happening in form 4 oops!
#i remember the ones from form 4 onward bc for some reason my memories younger than 16 are sketchy#like they're there but after lots of digging#also the two from form 4 are particularly solidified in my brain compared to others#bc they were when i had friends n my friends were arnd#whereas the others happened more solitary tho in public#like 2 happened on public transportation omw home so like it was me alone n strangers if tht makes sense#2 the first two happened in class but thr was b4 i had friends n i thought i wss hving an asthm attack#n told my teachers tht as an excuse#a next one happened b4 classes started n i went out to the balcony behind the classes which was pretty empty#one person noticed n asked if i was ok but tht was still b4 i actually had friends#and well ooh boy there were so many during covid which was my last yr of hs lol#oddly i dont remember any during the first year of uni COVID#but omg i had so much during the 2nd year uni in person#oh no wait i do remember at least one during uni covid online#in general now they just seem to happen more#but im also not sure how much is bc im aware now#bc again thinking back now i can unearth some memories of them happening pre form 4/ being 16#dk what other memories there are#n childhood memories are shot#n while ik i was sometimes prone to moods™#all instances or it was always excused bc of my asthma n other meds#which was true#even using them now still has the side effects so#but just slso now they happen whenever too sigh#it's just this constant realization of wait shit what if smth is really wrong cri#n it progresses beyond my control#n i cnt hide it anymore#sigh sigh sigh scary#cloud nonsense
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was getting a twelve pack of beer a bad idea? probably. am i enjoying it though? absolutely.
#im just glad i didn't end up getting the vodka like id originally been thinking#bc i would've ended up actually getting drunk on school nights#can't actually get drunk with beer bc i get full before i can drink enough to actually get drunk#but i am enjoying the feeling of killing brain cells by mixing it with benadryl#could this be the start of a bad habit? possibly#but im not too worried for now bc it's only beer#now if i start cooking barbiturates in the microwave ill know ive hit bottom#but ive got 4 more years to go so im saving that for later. preferably my last year#ive got a list of substances and a general timeline so i don't end up empty handed with another two years left to go#i hope this blog doesn't end up turning into a drug log over the next four years lol#well if thst happens ig i can just create a sideblog for my mental breakdowns#if folks have recommendations for stuff that might help im open to suggestions#well besides cigarettes bc i am currently fighting the urge to start smoking with everything i have in me#bc i know for a fact I'll get hooked right away and it'll ruin my life by making me light up a cig every few minutes#I'd be taking smoke breaks every hour between classes#I've only smoked like twice in my life and i cannot stop thinking abt how good it would feel to start smoking#just. its not even the nicotine it's just so easy to romanticize self destruction with cigarettes yknow#it feels like you're actually doing something. like it makes the suffering more tangible or something#idk maybe i might try it and realize it's actually nothing like i kept thinking and be turned off by it#but with the way i cant stop obsessing over them when i haven't even started? im not taking my chances lol#anyway. feel free to ignore the mental breakdown lol this will definitely keep happening more in the future#alcohol tw#mine#vent
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so my phone turns 1 today and i was checking it now and it totally glitched like 2 things overlapping out of nowhere so I closed the screen and when I tried to reopen it it only lets me either enter the code or scan my finger and unlock it anyway I can and the the screen is either blurred or there's nothing on it and I cant open anything the buttons don't respond and I cant even turn it off what the actual fuck I'm losing my mind fr
edit: i was able to force turn it off somehow bc it wasn't working and we're back random indian guys on youtube save the day once again
#i had a phone in hs that glitched out one day out of nowhere and i spent all#of a math class trying to get it to work and it was emptying out the battery fast#and when it finally turned off and i recharged it it went back to normal and never#did that again until i broke it in college when it fell out of my pocket as i was walking over a metal bar#this is a highend new-ish phone this should not be happening....#and out of nowhere too like. it was fine in my hand then lost it#wow anna said something#anna's shitposts#how am i supposed to sleep now if i cant even touch the alarm app#Also I added a bunch of shit in the tags but for some reason after I wrote like 4 paragraphs#Tumblr decided to eat my tags explaining this absolute shitshow and my brains too fried to remember#Or want to bother with explaining everything again so yeah weird ass coincidental timing#And none of the forced turning off ways worked until I clicked the off circle on#The emergency screen whole holding the button on the side at the same time bc when I clicked just#The screen circle it would stay on and was completely frozen#It was looking like it was gonna be stuck in non responsive blurred filter over the screen frozen potato mode#I legit have no idea what that was about one moment it was fine the next nothing worked#Giving my phone the bombastic side eye rn bc wtf was that abt it deadass had a stroke or smth#The button on the side to force turn it off legit didn't work no matter how long i held it I managed to by some miracle it had to be#I s2g if my phone somehow died out of nowhere while being very new and costing what it did I was abt to lose my mind fr#I was freaking out abt my pics and that I need to take it when I travel for the con on Friday thank fuck it worked
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legit how i feel after doing an interview
#michelle speaks#i flopped so hard this time u can’t even imagine 😭 i was only asked ONE question and i flopped it soooooo bad 😭😭😭😭#i’m soooooooo stupid & dumb it’s unreal 😭😭😭😭 i have head empty disease when asked a question it’s so bad 😭😭😭😭#it was w a professor i have in the fall too so i will have to face her again now 😭 at the end she was like#i look forward to seeing u in the fall………..if nothing else. like dw ma’am i know i flopped 😔 abysmal performance from me today 😔#the problem is that bc my mouth talks and my brain turns off i sound so brainless 😭 and then i phrase smth awkwardly bc my brain catches up#w my mouth & is like what TF are u saying rn & then i try to save it but that makes it worse 😩#i become self aware i’m like wait where r u going w that & then my mouth is like 🤐 and i have to force smth out 😭#omg i want to kms so badly i have never finished an interview & did not say that was so embarrassing right after 😩#adhd my mortal enemy…….i would give anything to defeat u………#she cannot even imagine the internal conflict i had while saying those 4 dumb sentences i responded w……some struggles r invisible 😔
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self-restraint is one thing kento prides on. he is a good man, or at least he tries to be. his eyes landed on your flailing figure, pinching his nose bridge to prepare himself. you, gojo, kento and shoko went out for drinks to celebrate the fact you 4 were still alive.
your mind was blank, you had no self-control, it was like the shame centre in your brain got turned off.
"oh my god!" you squealed in excitement. "my favourite song!" you stumbled off your bar stool, going to stand up on the table, gojo supporting your brave act.
kento acted quick. right when your foot landed on the table, you were pulled back by an immeasurable amount of strength, your back landing on someone's muscular chest.
"how drunk are you?" a gruff voice spoke right beside your ear, sending shivers through your whole body. your senses were already heightened, but at this moment, you could feel everything. you could hear the fastening rhythm of your heart, along with the steady rhythm of another's.
"earth to y/n~," satoru's singsong voice echoed through your empty head.
"yea, sorry," you shook your head, turning around to see kento's disapproving look. his hand keeping a deathly grip on your wrist, ensuring you were always close to him, in case you'd do something embarrassing, or at least that's what he tells himself.
"y/n, i'll bring you ho-"
"don'tt, you're such a party pooper nanamin! we were just getting started," the blue eyed man whined, he looked like he was about to start a tantrum.
"yeah, let's just wrap it up, i wanna go home," shoko agreed with kento, getting ready to leave. "i'll leave y/n to you, gojo, come." satoru following shoko like a sad puppy.
"let's go home," kento used his free hand to pack up your stuff, double checking if you took anything out of your purse.
"you're so hot when you take care of me," you freely complimented kento, his ears slowly turning beet red.
"i like you kento, you know that right?" you kept talking, kento's face slowly turning a darker shade of red. "why are you so red? are you having a fever?" you used your free hand to feel his forehead, even in your drunken state, you still worried about his health.
"no...y/n. i'm fine," he put your bag on your shoulder as he led you out of the establishment.
"ow....my feet hurt ken," you pouted looking down at your heels.
restrain yourself kento. restrain. was the only thing he could think off as he looked back at you. he didn't want to take advantage of your drunken self. he knelt down as he took of your heels, you bracing yourself on his back. he slowly took your hand of his back, putting down your heels on the ground to take off his blazer.
"up," his back facing you as he knelt down. you weren't going to waste a chance getting piggy backed. instantly, your arms slid around his neck as your legs trapped his torso. kento stood up, picking up your heels and adjusting his hold on you.
"comfy?" you nodded against his neck. "take this, and wrap it around your waist," he handed you his blazer. you instantly listened, wrapping the blazer around your waist, making sure you don't flash anyone along your way home.
"ken, you're so good to me," you mumbled, nibbling on his neck, eliciting a groan out of the man.
"you're such a tease," kento chuckled, smiling to himself at his current predicament.
"we're not even dating....hft," you sighed. kento let out a hearty laugh at your dissatisfaction.
"why do you want us to date?" kento asked making you even more disappointed.
"what woman doesn't want stability!" this time you were annoyed. you straightening your back, not leaning on kento's anymore. kento was still joyful, instead of responding to your annoyance, he loosened his grip on your legs, your instincts kicked in, quickly wrapping your hands around his neck once more to ensure your safety.
"were you about to drop me??" panic was evident in your tone, but kento was still amused. "answer me!" your hand hitting on his chest.
"y/n," kento sternly called out your name, abruptly stopping your abuse on his chest. "we're married love, isn't that the epitome of stability? why would i regress our relationship to just boyfriend and girlfriend?"
"huh?..." you were confused for a second, quickly looking at your hand. and there it was, glistening in the moonlight, your wedding ring. "oh.."
kento couldn't help but tease your drunken self, his self-restraint always wavering when it came to you. the prim and proper man turning playful in your presence, he just couldn't help it. he continued his walk home, occasionally giggling at your forgetful nature.
"i hope you don't forget this moment," kento muttered under his breath, knowing full well you would have no memory of this event, only a pounding headache to remind you of yesterday's events.
#fumiliardrabbles#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#kento nanami#nanami x reader#jjk nanami#kento x reader#nanami fluff#nanami x y/n#jjk headcanons#jujutsu nanami#kento x y/n#kento x you#jujutsu kento#kento fluff#jjk kento#nanami kento#nanami headcanons#jujutsu kaisen nanami#nanami x you#fluff#nanami is a green flag#live laugh love nanami#min...drabbles
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ok a) i finally watched season 2 of opm it wasnt as bad as everyone was chattin shit abt b) i also started dungeon meshi im enjoying it if a bit confused. there seems to be lots of background lore to the world which is exciting too c) i did all this while playin da:i again for the first time since like 2019 was my last save. insane. which leads to final point d) oops its 2am and i have job in some hrs. whoops. 🫣
#jupiter.speaks#> anywag. im also startin da:i from beginning all over again the gameplay trailer for 4 got me hyped#> and askin myself wait a min. what IS the lore of da again 🤔😔 <- brain empty#> but v v fun. i forgot how welsh solas sounds im sorry 😭 like i just hear really thick welsh. i dont know man#> am still early game tho im not that fast. mr complete it all is here ugh#> okay anyway anyway. off to bed i hope everyone is staying safe n well <33#> gonna beat off that blonde guy wait no. i mean with a bat no no no
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