#but i hate how this alwaus happens

[skitskatdacat63]

Man I hope the catie of the future finishes that paper that's due by the end of the day 🥹

[mabaris]

i always forget that bethany/sebastian is as much of a Thing as it is lmfao

[therapy-ghost]

hello!! I hope you're having a marvelous day!! I wanted to send in a request for your matchup event! I would like a matchup for the dsmp(characters ofc) and marvel please! Take all the time you need! I completely understand if you need to take a while or need extra information so do message me if I missed anything!!!

To start off with more simple stuff; I'm trans non-binary and go by all pronouns. I'm unlabeled in my romantic/sexual attraction, but I can confirm I've felt attraction to every gender.

For personality! Umh there's a lot to say(obviously) Gosh well, I'll start with how people tend to see me I suppose. People tend to give me mixed answers on how I present; one of my friends said I seemed like an absolute dick, another said I look intimidating, but another said I was just a giddy talkative dude. I do like to make sure I look nice though, clean clothes and having my hair looking nicely. I think that's probably one of my best habits, keeping clean and having good personal hygiene. I have shitty posture though, which sucks. A lot of people I know bt don't really know say that I have issues with aggression, because I can be very snappy ans impulsive with my words. I do apologise quickly after and I'm trying to get better but old habits die hard, and I procrastinate.

I'd say I tend to appreciate really simple things in life, atleast it's a practice I'm trying to get into. I have cheap trinkets around my living space that bring me happiness and just seeing my cat makes me go fuck yeah!! that's my cat!! I suppose I'm not like that always but I'm trying to become a more happy person because I can be very bitter and agitated.

I'm a very humourous person, and it's how I deal with conversations I'm uncomfortable with, but otherwise just because I'm hilarious and like making people laugh. I struggle to remeber and concentrate on things, I'm not sure why though, but I've alwaus sorta had it. It's worse now, and I genuinely get overwhelmed when people push me to remember things I've forgotten(happens more often than you'd think). This is especially prominent with things I amn't interested in.

It's stupidly hard for me to feel comfortable being myself with people- whoever myself really is, as far as I know I just feel things and react, not really that I have a literal personality if that makes sense? The most definite thing I know about myself is that I like to talk a lot, which will probably make this a very lengthy request for you to read. I'm also a complete fake it til you make it person, eg confidence, good grade, etc. I guess you could count it as manifestation? I'm not sure.

I'm a target for being picked on because I can be aggressive and confrontational, which is also a defensive thing I do ingeneral, one that clearly is not working. I have attchement issues, to the point where I get attached stupidly easy to certain things, like fictional characters or objects. With people; my attachmenr issues manifest in me going AWOL for any amount of time, which makes me an unreliable source or comfort a d stability which i kinda hate myself for being. I also really struggle with affection, which is why i find it hard to pinpoint which love language I am, so who could know, really.

Oh my gosh I need to stop, this is like selling my soul lmfao- but hobbies and everything else ugh!! Anyhow, my hobbies include watching a large amount of youtube videos while procrastinating on my watchlist for netflix+disneyplus. Videos include gaming, doll revamping, lego+sylvanian set unboxings, video essays and writing tip videos! It's a weird assortment, but sprinkle in the sonic short clips I also get and it makes it weirder. Anyhow, I like lego, jigsaws and I'm trying to get back into art. I like media and literature analyses and talking about it!! I like books and reading, also writing <3 though I'm horrible at plotting. I do guitar!! I like to learn languages and currently know three, but I hope to know 5 before I die. I also love plushies and animals!! they bring me such joy!! I've been falling back inlove with games too, playing pokemon games and indie games. I love story-adventure type games. I also love musicals! I've never seen a concert, but I've seen about 5 musicals live. I like to dance and do puzzles. Gosh I need to get back into the habit fo dancing. i used to do ballet a lot more ughh.

Some of my comfort medias include; bts(the kpop group), sally face, the owl house, onward, big hero 6,enhypen, jack manifold(stremer), andrew garfield spiderman movies, etellan(their channel!!!) high school musical, asra's route in the arcana, rise of the guardians and night in the woods! A few of them are because they're nostalgic but I do love them! there's also more but I figured I shouldnt bombard you with them!!!

In a romantix partner I would adore someone who is protective :] I like being protected. Also someone humorous! I love to joke!! Tmbeing able to have an equal conversation is also very important to me, so that neither of us rant on without explicitly saying we will first because it occasionally overhwhelms me when i don't have the warning. I like ro be able to interupt with my points ya'know? A major nono for me is someone who doean't communicate well. Verbally discussing and communicating things is important!! Also someone who makes fun of my interests, hobbies or anything of th÷ sort is off the list!! It makes me upset, especially if it's nit just humourous fun, which is fine in very small dosages.

With friends!! I think it's mostly the same as the one for a romantic partner, but less so, yaknow? Friends to me are a lot more casual( for the most part, I'm more serious when it comes to close friends). I more so adapt to them and what they do, while when I get closer to people I can be a very dominant person in the sense that I will organise more things and be more likely to engage with the person first. The romantic partner nonos also apply to friends, but not so much with the communication one. With most of my friends I tend to attract people who are just really open with their feelings and problems so that's never really been a problem I've faced with friend I suppose.

Ok ok I think that's all!! I do have a few links I want to send to you in messages; the spotify one is just songs I relate to and the one directing you towards a post is how my friend precieves me. I don't know if either of them will help but use them if you need to <3

A/N: Hello, Sorry this took so long, i didnt have my computer ovver the spring break so i had no way of writing it.

But anyways, enjoy!

For Dsmp, i match you up with:

Niki Nihachu

(Art not mine, from pinterest)

When i first finished your info page, my mind dashed straight for Niki.

You both, in my mind, kind of work, two peas in a pod per-say.

She will 100% protect you, no dout.

Binge watching shows and movies with her.

She will love to have long winded conversations with you about anything and everything.

i see the two of you doing jigsaw puzzles together in your free time.

along with watching Videos and i also see you both going on walks of any length.

i also thought of a scenario where the two of you are on a couch all comfy, playing guitar and ukulele, idk why!!!

For MCU, i match you up with:

Gambit

This man has been haunting my mind for the last 7 mounts, i just love the character so much.

this man is the type of man i see to be very loyal to you, always there when you need him.

also very fun loving and loves the conversations.

Musicals, i see the two of you going to musicals.

He also likes Big Hero 6, his favourite character is Go-Go.

Dances with you, not like classes dancing, but just turning on some music and slowly getting into the songs.

he does have a very humorous side, though most of his jokes are dick move souding, but they are never to you (Mainly to Logan)

I really hope you liked them, Niki's one came to me as soon as i was done, but Gambit was more of a last minute "Wait a minute, this works too" type of situation, well bye and and i hope i did a good job on this match up.

[augujerdeer]

TW: vent, uh swearing and talking abt possession and DID sorry

May 20 20195:30PM - Kris

Dudes some1 told me the other day when I was venting, that’s maybe I had DID this whole time

And idk I succ at English but I didn’t know how to say “no I don’t and didn’t”?? I g bc when they said that i stared having a freakin panic attack bc “WHAT IF I DID” and until now, I can’t DISPROVE them which makes me rlly scared

My source is Deltarune right, so like, idk, I don’t wanna think about having had DID/OSDD in my canon bc it doesn’t make any sense but it’s so dump and stupid bc like, Jamie has it SORT OF and we’re still confused bc “it doesn’t make sense”

It didn’t FEEL like a system, whatever happened in my canon??i WASNT in a system and if I was wouldn’t the entity b carried over to this system and be my subsystem?????

I just, I hate it bc ITS NOT A SYSTEM THING this freakin entity thing is something else it felt powerful and it felt out of this world it felt like it didn’t belong here it felt otherworldly and alien and powerful like it could kill me and change history

But I also feel dumb bc maybe I WAS a system but that’s super dumb but it’s possible I hate this I WASNT a system and it feels— it’s so mean of me to say and I don’t mean to be but I felt offended when they told me “maybe U have dissociative identity disorder”

I felt as if they werent listening to me or believing me when I was telling them how it felt and how scary it was not to black out but to constantly watch ur body move without ur consent and not to be able to scream and yell and grab at someone to look at u

I’m not super mad at them suggesting DID bc I GET IT I can see how it looks that way, but how can I prove it’s not that either??? I believe it’s not but I’m worried ppl r gonna day I’m just in denial abt it when I don’t think I am, life was hell life was shit no one believed me!! It wasn’t a system thing!! Something else was here!! No ones going to believe me and no one will bc everything I say doesn’t make any fucking sense !!! This hasn’t happened to anyone else b4!!!! When I started reading fan theories abt the player controlling me I was like me!! Dude fuck!! IM BASICALLY THE KID FROM BANDERSNATCH do u understand??? Do u understand why I hate that game/movie???????? That’s exactly how t felt!!! It’s not DID can U like shut up!!!!! I’m ALREADY in a system and when I front I basically get what having DID is like both outside and inspace and this was nothing like that!!! It can b similar but it’s not!!!! Y doesn’t any1 believe me??? As someone already in a system I’m like YEAH I TECHNICALLY DO BUT NOT IN MY CANON

Sorry I’m gonna shut up now fuck I keep repeating myself every ducking time I think abt this it’s ALWAUS the same problem

Might as well just go to a Deltarune fan and tell them this happened to me so they can immediately validate me and go “HEAH SOMEONE DID CONTROL U”

WHATEVER maybe I was traumatized but my childhood was fucking happy until everything went wrong DONT @ ME DONT EVEN TALK TO ME IM TIRED KF NO ONE BELIEVING ME THIS IS WHY I DONT TELL ANYONE WHAT FICKING HAPPEND TO ME

[sending-the-message]

HOW TO BE BEAUTIFUL AND THIN by Skelethin

Hello everyone, so, uh, I want to be beautiful and thin. And I’ll tell you exactly how you can too!

There’s a storm deep within me that’s dying to get out. It’s a storm of rage and self hate, constantly gnawing at my fat to escape. I must admit, I’m not fat and I never have been. I have always been a size small, since I’m 5’3 and 105 lbs to begin with. What hurts more is that I’m simply average. Normal body, normal size, normal everything. I’m considered “normal thin”, and not fat nor skinny. I’ve never been anything special. I’m 15 and I frequently enjoy, well, different things than your average teen. I’m obsessed with books, and only classic literature. I only listen to classical music and I play a few instruments, as well as spend my time writing poetry and practicing ballet En Pointe.

Anyway, now that you know a little bit about me, I’m here to tell you exactly how I got thin and beautiful. So, I had tried everything at this point; being Vegan for a few months, which resulted in Anaemia, I tried the Keto diet, which also didn’t work. I even tried diet pills, which no, did not give me a tapeworm. I will admit, I was losing 4 pounds per week, but that’s simply not enough. How do people even have the patience to diet for months while losing as little as 1-4 lbs per week? I didn’t. I had to find a way to speed up the process. I stumbled across a diet known as an “Ana Diet”, unbeknownst to me, it definitely would work. It was on some website called “AnaBones4evur.com” and i figured it was a spam site at first, since it popped up like an annoying ad on the bottom of my computer when I was searching other legit dieting websites. This one didn’t seem professional, as it was a minimalistic page. The font looked as if it were tipping and falling off the page, as well as little blue sparks were glitching all over the deep black wallpaper of the website. I looked closer, and I noticed that the millions of little blue sparks that were glitching were in fact mini pixel butterflies. Strange. There were only a few links displayed on the page, which were clearly misspelt.

There was an “Abooout”, an “FAQ”, a “Store” And a “Dietes, Tricks and Ttipss”. Now, I know what you’re thinking, clearly it’s a fake scam website as all the red flags were there. Mind you, I was absolutely desperate to lose weight. As silly as this sounds, I couldn’t just be happy and satisfied with a body like any average girl. I wanted mine to be surreal, angelic, ethereal, like sharp jagged bones protruding like glass. So first, I clicked on the store. There weren’t many items being sold; just scales, measuring tapes, laxatives, diuretics, exercise merch, and a bunch of purple bracelets with the same bluebell butterfly symbol on them. The prices were all surprisingly low, and I hoped that the FAQ would say something about the butterfly, so I clicked on that next.

There were only 5 Questions with short non-detailed answers below. It’s weird, since all the questions seemed odd but well punctuated, and the answers from the website host was misspelling everything and often using foreign letters such as “ ç, ż, ł, ß, æ, ø, œ, ü, ę, ŵ, etc.” It was strange. One of the questions was “How long does it take to lose about 60 lbs?” And the host answered “well, if you follow all the ÅNNNNÁ rules, then you will lose 60 lbs in about 5 months. Usūally yoau losę 8 pounds p3er ŵeek (((:” the rest of the questions weren’t very important. So I clicked “Abooout” and it was also short paragraphed. It looked a little like this:

“Hallo And Welcym freinds!!! U are now part of the ÁnNa famly. Everywun who joyns, is my fellowe sister or brothear!! U can onlye be acepTed on 1 Condishin. You MUST FOLLEW allkklllllll the rules. If u fail to follew evry rool, u will be BANNED FROm THISE WEBSIGHT. How will I Kno if u breyk a rule?? TrUuuuuust me. I kno. I am Alwaus Watching u. It u sighn up here, I Will Automauticalli have Access to sey what u r doing 24 HRs A DAY. SeveRe Punichment will come ur way if u Brayk a rule.

Remember, have Fün and liive Dangeroushly!!”

Xoxoxo- MIA

Finally, I clicked the diet, tricks, and tips. All of them were normal enough, at least at first. “Eat only X amount of calories per day” and the punishment is, if you eat over 900 calories then you will have severe nightmares for 8 days. You have 3 strikes. If you go over 900 for the third time in a row, you will have severe physical pains. I don’t believe in a lot of supernatural stuff, I mean, I believe in ghosts, but not that some random person on the internet has the power to control your mind and your body. You have to exercise until you faint, if you stop exercising and you’re still able to walk and stand fine, then you aren’t doing it enough. You must count and measure everything that goes in your mouth. You must make yourself throw up in case you accidentally consume a little extra calories. I hate vomit, but if it will make me lose weight, I will do it.

So I tried. On August 1st I began my diet. I restricted. That was the main word etched in my mind: Restriction Restriction. Other words were “Willpower” and “Self Control.” I have the willpower to restrict my calories, and I feel like I am the Goddess of my own body. I have immense self-control that people often express how jealous they are, that I easily decline delicious sweets being offered to me. Every time my stomach rumbles and moans and screams at me for my cruelty, I smack it and tell it that it’s not hungry, just bored. Who knew that feeling hungry and empty felt so good?? The “full” feeling I used to feel when I ate normally was disgusting. Bloated belly, full of food, now is empty shrinking belly. I feel so weightless, like a feather. I hated vomit, but soon I began to vomit 5 times a day. I never went over my calories. I was gonna be the one to do everything perfectly so I can impress Mia. I will be the number one winner in her dieting contest. She will absolutely love me. She expresses adoration for me already. Her little voice in my head constantly praises me after a good purge.

September 10th: I feel so nauseous. My bones ache and my whole body is sore. I think I worked out too hard last night. My breath still reeks of last nights vomit even though I brushed them like, 12 times. I had to tell people my teeth are yellow because I ate something that contained food colouring. It’s tiring, having to pretend to make breakfast and lunch so my dad thinks I’m eating. Luckily he’s the only person I live with. It’s crazy how the only reason I manage to get out of bed is so I can weigh myself. The scale is my religion. I hated math, but now I love it. I’m the best at counting calories and measuring the size of my waist and my thighs, and that number that drops every day is amazing. I weighed in at 83 lbs today. My dad doesn’t know since my old clothes are the only thing I wear, and they’re huge on my delicate and dainty figure.

October 1st: I can’t even move. My long pretty fingernails are yellow and brittle and they constantly fall off whenever I scratch my dry, itchy head. My once thick mass of luscious blonde hair is dirty and greasy and stringy, falling out in clumps when I brush it, when I shower, and when I wake up. My skin feels like a snake; patchy and scaly. I’ve always been pale, but never like this. It’s a annoying how everyone asks if I’m sick or if I have a fever. They don’t know. They’ll NEVER understand. I’m constipated so I have to rely on 15 lax a day. I can’t sleep because I’m so hungry, and when I do sleep, all my dreams are food-related to me binging, and I wake up in a panic, crying since I think it’s real. I can’t walk 3 steps to my own bathroom in my own room. It hurts. I want to pass out and pant heavily whenever I walk up the stairs, as it feels as if I have walked 30 miles. I resorted to crawling everywhere. Sometimes, my dad has to carry me.

November 1st: I hate my my life. I used to have depression before, but it’s never been this severe. I feel like the more weight I lose, the more depressed I get. MIA LIED. She said I’d be happier once I’m thin. She promised I’d look like one of those models in the VS show. They don’t look as dead as I. My dad is a mortician, and he constantly remind me that I look and feel like a dead body. I’m cold, my skin is so so cold. I’m cold. I wore Uggs, Sweatpants, a sweatshirt, and thick blanket in 105 degrees and I was shivering and freezing. Every time I stand up my vision fades to black and all these black little dots dance around my blurry vision. It’s like when you stand up too fast you get dizzy spells, except it happens to me all the damn time. I have to lay down 4 towels on the toilet seat to go pee since it hurts my bones. I have to sleep on 5 blankets since it hurts my bones. I can’t sit on wooden chairs because it stabs my bones.

Everyone says they’re worried about me. Teachers pull me aside, my ballet instructor, the nurse, store owners when I go and order a Diet Coke during lunch rather than actual food. I don’t even look twice at the display of pastries. I’m successful. Everyone says I’m too thin and I need a doctor, blah blah blah. They’re wrong. They have no idea how long it took for me to get here. They have no idea how I desperately needed this. They have no idea all the effort I put. They need to appreciate how beautiful I am. I thought they’d praise me. They’re just denying I’m beautiful, they’re all jealous. They stare at me with haunting and pitying eyes and whisper behind my back. They gasp and gape at my body wherever I go. See how jealous they are? They want to be me. They’re just saying I’m dangerously thin because they wish my body was theirs. Well, I had to work for it. If being thin was easy, everyone would do it. We live in a world of gluttony where everyone is constantly stuffing their face, whereas I eat every other day.

December 1st: Too weak. Can’t move. I have missed school for a week now. My skin is more blue and purple than white, and it’s not my veins. My lips are dry and white with a slight pale red and swollen shut with dead skin hanging off. I have heavy and thick black bags underneath my eyes. I FEEL BEAUTIFUL. My body is covered in bruises, even though I do nothing but sit on my ass all day watching TV. Mia said it’s okay to stop exercising since I’m so weak, so I deserve a break. My metabolism is dead, and I’ve hit a few plateaus, but I’m almost to my goal weight. It’s funny because my goal weight gets lower and lower the more weight I lose. At 105 lbs my goal was 95. I got there, and I still looked obese. Then it was 85, got there, and still obese. 75, got there, and still obese. I’m currently 68 lbs and my goal is 59. 5 is my favourite number, and 9 is one less away from being the highest and the greatest: 10.

It’s so funny. It’s like I was blind my whole life. I never really thought I was fat, but Mia said to take one good look in the mirror, which opened my eyes, and suddenly, I realised, maybe I AM obese. Soon those protruding bones became rolls of fat and I physically transformed into a monster. My mirror was alive and moving. It kept morphing and twisting and distorting like a fun-house mirror. Why isn’t enough? I think I was born with a special body that can’t be skinny no matter how much weight I lose. That number on the scale will never be enough. It will never satisfy my cravings and my need for skinny. Maybe my goal should be 50.

December 10th: I’ve fainted 4 times so far. I get Charlie horses in my legs every night. My dad says I have low magnesium and blood pressure. As well has dangerously low blood sugar and severe iron deficiency. He’s lying. He just wants to make a big fat ass again. My heart rate is currently 40 BPM. There is one thing that i love, though, and that’s my period. It’s gone. I haven’t had it in forever. My dad keeps crying and getting on his knees and begging me to eat, telling me I’m painfully thin. He’s just MOCKING ME. Everyone who says I’m thin is a big fat liar. They know I’m an obese pig, they just want to lie to me. I’m the only one who sees my body truly for what it is, why can’t everyone else? I know the real me is fat. Apparently everyone else just looks shocked and surprised when I say I’m still fat. “Gaunt Girl” they call me. “Emaciated Evangeline” they call me. “Starving Sister” I’m called. “Skinny Minnie” “itty-bitty” “Malnourished.” Everyone calls me either a zombie, a vampire, or a ghost.

I don’t even FEEL alive. I feel more like I’m existing, but not living. I don’t feel like I have a life. It’s as if I’m a puppet. Or someone is playing with me like an unmoving doll. I can’t breathe, i can’t sleep, i can’t eat, and I feel dead. I feel brain dead. I can’t even move now. I lay on the couch all day, barely moving my head. I can’t even watch tv or go on my phone. I can’t even tell you what I said 3 minutes ago. My memory used to be intelligent and sharp, now I can’t remember anything. My vocabulary speaking-wise is that of a 5 year old. My mind is that of a 5 year old. I dumbed down as my malnourished brain and mental state deteriorated. I am nothing but a decomposing body, waiting to be as light as dust. Soon to be ashes. I can only really remember to speak 5 words “Hi, Bye, No, Yes, Okay.” THIS IS WHAT PERFECTION FEELS LIKE

December 17th: This is Evangeline’s Dad. I found her diary and all the sickening things she’s written in it about her diet and some website. Evangeline Elizabeth Winters was admitted to X hospital at X address for a possible cardiac arrest. It appears she was found unconscious in her bed. On December 16th 10:31 AM. She is thankfully not in a coma. They were able to shock her heart and revive her. It is an utter miracle that she is along the 2% of patients who are able to recover from cardiac arrest.

January 1st: Hello everyone, I’m back! I’m in the hospital and they have diagnosed me with something that ended in “Nervosa” and I can’t remember what the first part is. All I know is that Mia would be so proud of me. I got a message saying “I’m the official Ana of the website.” And apparently Ana is the highest ranking position. There are many Anas, but there’s only one true perfect Ana. Along with Mia, she promised we’d rule together! I can hear her talking in my head already. Apparently I’m forced to be submitted into an Inpatient facility at a mental hospital for a few months, as well as be supervised and regularly see a dietician, a doctor, and a psychiatrist. I did nothing wrong.. it’s just a diet. Why can’t anyone let me be skinny? Why do they want me to be fat?? I’d rather kill myself than be fat.

January 2cd: I managed to steal a knife off of the medical table while no one was looking. It’s 1:30am and I’m going to do the final step it takes to become a true Ana. Cut off the rest of my fat. My bones are in the way, but I’ll find the fat hiding behind them.

This is what perfection feels like. This is what perfection is. Perfection is death. I am thin and beautiful, and I can already see Mia’s shadowy figure smile at me with glowing fangs across my bed.

ThÁbks For raéDjng this And Becum a Membrrr of THe Dïett!!! -Evangel-AÑNÁ

[heroindiaries]

i dont know who i am anymore im dating a man. i never felt right calling myself bi i feel like a huge part of me got ripped away when i said yes . and he said that me datinf him doesnt take away my attraction to women and how i mostly only like them that its just a spectrum but i jusy hate being seen as straight ive alwaus wanted a girlfriend ive alwaus felt confident calling musekf lesbian i still wanna kiss a girl but i do love him i love him so much hes the best thing thats happened to me

[randomfandomimagine]

Free Spirit. Chapter 17: Memories

PREVIOUS CHAPTER - INDEX - WATTPAD

A/N: I feel like this is a very important chapter, so I hope that you guys understand everything and I did a good job writing it. Anyway, enjoy reading, lovelies! <3

Catori looked up and smiled at Scott.

It was very sweet of them to be staying with her at the Hudson family home to keep her company. But the girl had a feeling that there was something else.

The way in which Scott, Lydia and Stiles alwaus looked at her. Like they knew something she didn’t. Or like some words were left unspoken because of everything that happened.

She understood that she was vulnerable and they didn’t want to rush her. Yet that was precisely what bothered her so much.

Catori looked at her friend, who had visited her that time instead of Lydia and Stiles, and decided to speak up.

“Scotty, can I ask you something?” The girl finally piped up.

“Sure” Her friend gently smiled, with that immense kindness that defined him.

“What is it with you guys?” She bit her lip, uneasy, and stared at him. “First Stiles, then Lydia and now you. I appreciate it but…”

The boy, however, stopped her midsentence to speak himself.

“We’re just worried about you�� He rushed to say. “And we want you to feel safe. Besides, we love to keep you company”

Catori knew Scott, and she didn’t have to be a werewolf to know he was nervous. Something was wrong.

“What are you hiding from me?” She frowned, concerned, and sent him a pleading look. “Don’t insult my intelligence pretending that everything’s okay. Please, tell me”

Everything felt bad enough already.

The constant nightmares. The lack of sleep. Staying at home because she couldn’t really bring herself to go out. The physical and mental damage done during the time she was taken. The feeling of imminent danger, knowing that who kidnapped her were still free.

But that her friends kept secrets from her was just too much.

Scott knew this. He could feel the mixture of her emotions, how sad and scared she was still feeling and how vulnerable and angry at the same time.

He didn’t want to lie to her.

She was back to almost being the true Catori, and he wanted to admit everything. So he did.

The boy tilted his head and sighed in defeat.

“We need you to remember what happened” To soften his words despite his already gentle tone, he sweetly held her hand. “Maybe if you do, it will help us know who they are once and for all”

Catori froze in panic and even though all she wanted to do was refuse and tell Scott she couldn’t do that, the girl was left speechless.

“Tori?”

“I… Scott, I don’t want to” She shut her eyes tight and shook her head, already shaking at the mere idea of reliving that harrowing experience.

“Hey, I know” He shushed her kindly to soothe her restlessness. “You don’t have to do right now, it’s okay”

“I just can’t” Being extra sensitive lately, she felt the need to hold Scott’s free hand. “I-I… Scott, I…”

“We know it’s hard, that’s why we didn’t tell you” To try and cheer her up, he smiled compassionately.

Catori nodded and forced herself to be stronger. To take up her usual stubborn behavior and leave behind that terrible emotional and sensitive attitude that overcame her those days.

The two friends stared there in silence for a moment, holding hands to her comfort.

“There’s something more” Scott dared to say carefully.

His friend took a deep breath and adopted a collected demeanor.

“What is it?”

“That wound in your neck is made from claws” He started slowly, observing her to study her reaction. “Which means…”

Scott trailed off for a moment, wondering what the best way to put it was. In the pause, he stirred restlessly in the spot while Catori drove her hand to her nape, carefully feeling the bruise that still hurt.

“Which means what?”

“They were trying to get inside your head” Scott spoke fast, not really thinking much about his choice of words because he wanted to spit it out as fast as he could.

“Why would they want to do that?” The girl was confused and incredulous.

“We don’t know” Still, he couldn’t stop thinking about what Stiles kept saying.

That Catori was something. That she was different, maybe a supernatural creature even. Yet as he observed her, sitting right in front of him, he didn’t notice anything even remotely supernatural about her.

Then… why would they try to do that? Why look into her mind, maybe looking for her memories or thoughts? It didn’t make any sense.

“I don’t understand anything at all” She mumbled, tired and fed up.

“I know, but we’ll figure it out” Trying to display as much kindness and give her as much comfort as he could, he sent her a meaningful glance. “For now just focus on getting back to normal”

“What about what you said?” The girl asked him, anxious. “Do I have to tell you if I remember something?”

“Only if you feel comfortable enough to do it, okay?”

“Thanks” Catori smiled a little, feeling grateful for her friends. Without them, she would feel even more lost and afraid.

The both of them went in for a hug at the same time.

They embraced the closeness and the warmth, the comfort of a friend’s hug. It definitely helped Catori feel better, probably because of his calm and kind aura as usual.

“I should get going now” Scott made a pause to see if she stopped him, needing to have him around a bit longer. When she didn’t, he kept talking. “We have to see Deaton about the triquetra”

“Who’s Deaton?” She asked as he stood from the bed and put his jacket back on to leave.

“He’s my boss, at the veterinary clinic”

“I never knew you worked there” Catori smiled a little, amused. “Suits you”

After all, Scott McCall was always looking after all the people. It was only normal that he took care of animals as well. It went along with him alright.

Scott chuckled, very glad to see her smiling.

“Yeah, I guess so”

“And why are you meeting with him?”

“He knows a lot about the supernatural”

“Oh”

Scott opened the door of her room and stood still for a moment, staring at his friend.

“Got any plans for today?”

“You mean before or after your watch replacement?”

He laughed at her sarcastic comment, especially because she was right. Stiles was supposed to arrive soon.

“Before Stiles comes”

“I might go out for a walk around the block” Catori lied down on the bed and stared at the ceiling in apathy. “I’ve been locked in my room for a few days now, I could use some fresh air”

“That’s a good idea”

The girl looked at him and decided to stand up and give me a last quick hug.

“Thanks for everything, Scotty”

The boy, pleasantly surprised by her sudden fit of affection, grinned widely and hugged her back.

*

Since their task with Catori wasn’t really advancing, Scott indeed met Kira, Liam, Mason and Malia to go talk with Deaton.

Before he came into the clinic, he saw Derek standing outside.

“Anything on the pack?” Scott asked the young man, who shook his head in a negative gesture.

“They know how to hide their trail” Derek shoved his hands on the pockets of his jacket. “I’m afraid that only Catori will be able to help us about that”

“She still needs time” Scott defended her, not wanting to rush her.

Derek pursed his lips, knowing his friend was right but still feeling a bit frustrated. They badly needed to know more about the pack, to take precautions and find a way to protect themselves from them. Even fight them. Know their enemy.

But he didn’t say anything because Derek himself didn’t want to put Catori under that kind of pressure, especially after what happened. He was fond of her despite the fact that they weren’t too close.

But Catori was fierce, smart and strong. And he liked her.

“Tell me what you find out” Derek told him quietly, taking a step.

He felt too useless, and he hated not being able to help.

Unfortunately, he didn’t find anything new about the pack no matter how hard he tried. And he didn’t really feel like standing there hearing Deaton ramble about symbols and everything supernatural.

He was about to walk away when Scott stopped him. Almost as though he knew what passed his mind and wanted to remedy it.

“Could you do me a favor?”

“What is it?”

“Stiles told me he would text me when he arrived at Catori’s, but he hasn’t yet” Scott shook his head slightly from side to side, resigned. “And she wanted to take a walk, but she’s alone and…”

“I’ll go” Derek just replied, nodding once.

“Thanks” They exchanged a meaningful glare in which they told each other a lot of things.

The older one began to walk away, glancing at his friend one last time before he left. The other boy smiled a bit to himself and walked into the clinic.

*

Luckily, Derek easily found Catori. She was walking around the block, circling around her house in a small stroll to stretch her legs.

“Catori” He called her, effortlessly positioning himself next to her and walking alongside the girl.

She jolted up in fear and let out a startled squeak. Immediately, she sighed in relief and placed a hand upon her chest to try and calm her racing heart.

“Derek…” Catori mumbled in frustration. “I’m not a freaking werewolf, I can’t hear you arrive!”

“Sorry…” He apologized in spite of himself. “Didn’t mean to scare you”

“What are you doing here anyway?”

“Scott-“

“Say no more” She laughed a little, yet finding it endearing and heartwarming.

It was obvious that Scott hated the idea of leaving her alone even if Stiles was to come when he left. But he couldn’t be trusted to arrive on time.

“Babysitting again, huh?” The brown-haired girl rolled her eyes. “Sorry about that”

“I don’t mind” He calmly replied, shrugging slightly.

An awkward silence followed as they kept walking, only the sound of their shoes against the pavement breaking the tension.

“How are you feeling?” Derek piped up after a while.

“Slightly less terrified than a few days ago” Catori chuckled nervously. “But as you can see, still jumpy”

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of” He fixed his eyes on her, trying to send her a reassuring look. “Everyone’s afraid of something”

“Even you, big wolf?” She smiled a bit, softly yet cautiously nudging him on the side.

“Even me” It made him smile in spite of himself.

“The more you know”

“This is yours, by the way” Knowing he would go to see Catori, Derek remembered about the totem they were keeping as a proof.

Now that she was back and safe, he wanted to return it to its rightful owner. Which was her.

“I almost forgot about that!” The girl observed the wooden piece, which looked smaller in Derek’s big hands. “I thought Stiles would know something had happened to me if I dropped it and he found it”

“Did he give it to you?”

“Yeah” She chuckled. “It’s basically like a white flag”

Derek recalled how Stiles disliked her at first, and he laughed a little at the simile.

“Thank you” Catori softly smiled at him as she took it, which made him like her even more.

That girl managed to get to everyone, they all ended up growing fond of her even if they were reluctant. Like Derek himself. Or Stiles.

“Cat!” And speaking of the devil…

The both of them turned around to see a running Stiles going over to them.

“I’m here!” He rushed to say, wheezing as he put a hand up in a sign that he needed a moment. “I’m here…”

“Scott told me you’re late” Derek deadpanned, glancing at him with secret amusement. “What took you so long?”

“Never mind that” The boy straightened himself up and heaved a breath. “I’m here now”

“I can see that, Stiles”

Catori smiled a little to herself, amused by their relationship. And more when the two of them stared at each other in silence, seizing the other.

“I can take over from here, thank you” Stilinski piped up after a while.

Derek looked at her just as her eyes fell on him too. They spoke without any words, and their smiles told them they were thinking the same thing.

If they didn’t know him any better, they would say Stiles was… jealous.

*

As he looked around to his friends, Scott realized he wasn’t the only one taken aback by the new information.

“You think it would only make sense if it was an amulet instead of a vase?” The boy repeated, dumbfounded. “And that they’re trying to use it because the triquetra has great power?”

“Yes” The man nodded. “The vase itself would be useless, but I have heard of powerful amulets used in varied schemes”

“But it would have the power to be actually used?”

“I thought you knew about this” Deaton was taken aback by their surprise. “Didn’t Catori tell you?”

“She didn’t know much” Kira made a face and shrugged a little.

“All Tori told us was that it was similar to a triskelion and could allude to trio principles like alpha, beta and omega” Scott made a pause, trying to remember what Stiles told him Catori said a long time ago. “And that it shows a connection between those ideals and just that unlike the triskelion, it doesn’t show growth or evolution”

“She was partially right, it represents vital cycles” The veterinarian tilted his head. “But not quite completely right”

“What does that mean?” Malia piped up, frowning in confusion.

“It means that, with the right means it can trigger its power and use the triquetra’s properties”

“Which are?”

The man was silent for a moment, feeling like what he was about to say would change everything. It was crucial information, but not necessarily good.

“The triquetra is characterized by its healing or killing properties”

“Guess which one the bad guys want…” Liam heaved a shaky sigh in concern.

“And what are those means they would need to unleash its power?” Mason looked at his friend and then back at Deaton.

“The triquetra needs of a smaller power in order to be used, to be activated” The man gravely told them. “And only a supernatural power can do that”

“Where would they find that?”

“It has to be a very specific one, like that of a banshee or any other similar creature”

“Why didn’t they use Lydia then?” Malia observed calmly. “She’s a banshee”

“Maybe that’s why so many girls went missing” Mason thought. “They were trying to find someone with that power”

“Wait…” Kira gasped lowly in realization. “Is that why they took Catori?”

The room turned completely silent. They looked at each other, not daring to say a word. It wasn’t really necessary since they knew what they had to do next.

Turned out Stiles was right about Catori in the end.

*

Being in Catori’s room again feel strange yet exhilarating for Stiles. It made him feel like he was extremely close to her, almost like he could have a peek inside her- persona. After all, a bedroom says a lot about a person.

“Well…” As he shrugged, the boy rose his arms. “Here we are”

Catori saw his arms open and approached him. Even though she saw him yesterday, she was extremely happy to meet him again.

She wanted to hug him. And his arms were open, which probably meant that he sought the embrace as well. So she went for it.

The girl collided with him and squeezed his torso against her. However, she felt him turning stiff and looked up at him.

“Wow” He mumbled in amazement, looking down to her. “What…?”

“This… this was your fault!” Catori quickly broke the hug and averted her eyes from him, embarrassed.

“What? Why?”

“I thought you wanted me to hug you… your-your arms were open and…”

Since Stiles was so shocked, he couldn’t reply. He just stared at her, still not believing Catori Hudson hugged him, Stiles Stilinski, spontaneously.

“I was just cold” She lied, turning red both from embarrassment and annoyance.

“Here then” Quickly, he simply took his hoodie off and put it over her shoulders. “You’re always cold, aren’t you?”

“I have tons of hoodies here. It’s my room, remember?”

“I just want you to have mine, don’t be a grumpy cat!”

Catori dedicated him an exasperated expression to show him how done she was because of that silly little pun again. Since he just gave her a goofy grin, she rolled her eyes and let it be.

The girl just put her arms through the sleeves and lied down on her bed comfortably.

“This is gonna be fun” She mumbled to herself, half sarcastically and half seriously.

Slowly, almost as though he was trying to make sure she was okay with it, Stiles sat down with her. It reminded him of that day they spent at his place. The day when they kissed.

They hadn’t talked about it again, like it never happened. Even if Stiles was dying to debate about its implications, or at least to do it again.

As an excuse to be closer to her, he lied on his side next to her and rubbed her arm to keep her warm. He actually wished she’d go to sleep, she seemed exhausted.

An awkward silence settled in Catori’s bedroom since none of them said anything. They didn’t really know what to say. That was exactly why Stiles decided to break the ice. He stirred a little before he gathered the courage to speak up.

“If I tell you something you promise not to tell anyone?”

Catori sent him a glare full of suspicion and curiosity.

“What is it?” She gave in after a few seconds.

“I was late because I was finishing this” The boy gingerly took something out of his pocket, holding it carefully like it was a baby.

“A dreamcatcher?” Catori sat up and gently took it from his hands.

“It might help with your nightmares” He shrugged like it was no big deal. “And it also goes along with your heritage, just like the totem”

The boy fixed his eyes on the totem that Catori put over her bedside table. He smiled to himself, recalling what she told him a while ago about Derek giving it back to her. Stiles liked that she got his gift back.

When he gazed at her, his smile widened since she was admiring the objet in her hands.

Nimbly, she got on her knees on the bed and faced the headboard, hanging the dreamcatcher from it. As she returned to her previous sitting position, her eyes fell on him. Stiles was staring back at her, almost admiring her calmly.

“Thank you” Thinking that doing it fast would negate it, she pecked his cheek briefly.

They lied on their backs without saying a word, blushing and with a confusing combination of emotions and thoughts bursting inside them. Catori held back the need to snuggle closer to him.

“Can I tell you something back?” She whispered, feeling herself fidgety and uneasy.

“Sure”

“I guess you need to tell everyone about it, though…” Catori sighed in resignation. “I just feel more comfortable telling you about it”

She didn’t understand why, though. Lydia and Scott were her friends as much as Stiles was, probably even more due to her differences with the latter.

Yet somehow she knew what their reactions would be to their confession. Scott would freak out and she didn’t want to show weakness in front of him just because of it. Lydia would hide it better, but… The girl just knew that Stiles would be the only one that wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. Even if it was, even if it was huge.

But he would pretend like it wasn’t. He would stay calm for her and act like she needed him to. That was why she wanted to tell him and no one else. Even if they would eventually have to pass the information over to the rest.

Stiles observed her expectantly, waiting to see what was so important.

“I remember a woman” Catori gulped, seeing as her memories were even more painful than she thought. “She was the alpha, and she was the one that did this to my neck”

When the boy noticed she was talking about what happened at the Nemeton, he opened his eyes wide in shock and intently listened.

“I don’t remember much, just tiny pieces here and there…”

“Anything helps”

Catori nodded and rummaged through her mind, trying to gather any memories no matter how small and insignificant.

“There were werewolves and other creatures I didn’t even know… And they all gave me the creeps, but especially that woman… I don’t know what she was”

“Do you remember who she was, though?” Stiles urged her, feeling like they were so close to solving the puzzle. “Did you know her?”

“I don’t remember… It’s all kinda hazy”

“Anything else then?”

“I remember something they said… It was me who they were looking for. And they wanted me for something”

When she became silent, Stiles figured she was finished talking. He stared at her in concern, hating he was always right. She had something to do with the other girls missing. Those girls were taken because the bad guys thought they were Catori. They were looking for her. And apparently, to get something from her. Which explained why he knew she was different or special somehow.

Catori sighed deeply and that caught his attention. She was anxious.

When it came to her, Stiles was almost like a werewolf. He could almost feel her restlessness since he knew her so well. He didn’t need Scott’s powers to know.

“What was the last time you trained jujitsu?” He snapped out of the blue.

Her first response was a funny face of perplexity. Then she gawked at him as she opened and closed her mouth, trying to find words to speak her mind.

“What the hell does that have to do with anything?”

“I bet it helps you vent your anger and anxiety” He smirked, proud of his idea. Then he picked up a pillow and held it over his chest.

That smirk lingered on his lips, silly and quite adorable.

“Are you going to be my punching bag, Stiles?” Smug as well, she stood up from the bed.

“I mean, I can try…”

Catori grinned, knowing what he was doing. And it was indeed a good idea.

It distracted her and also helped her get rid of all her repressed emotions. Just like jujitsu did before she stopped training.

It was things like these why she liked him so much.

*

Catori was about to open the door so Stiles could leave the house when it opened by itself. Lucy appeared, accompanied by no other than Scott McCall.

“Mom?”

“Hi” Mrs. Hudson waved to her daughter and to her friend. “I ran into Scott and he was coming here too”

“Just wanted to check on you guys” He dedicated them his sweet smile and did a cute shrug.

“Well, come on in” Catori invited him in. “We can hang out”

Scott and Stiles went into the living room while the girl greeted her mother.

“How are you, sweetie?” The woman kissed her daughter in the cheek.

“I’m fine, Stiles was with me”

“These friends of yours are lovely”

“They sure are” Catori looked over his shoulder to them and thought that she was so fond of those two nerds.

“Sorry that I’m so late” Lucy mumbled as she took her coat off. “Got hold back at the museum”

“How so?”

“Apparently there was an amulet inside that vase that disappeared the day of the robbery”

“And they tell you just now?”

“It seems they just discovered it”

“Well… Now that you’re home get some rest, mom”

“You have fun with your friends, Catori”

They briefly hugged and the girl then went to join their friends.

She frowned when she realized they were murmuring and Stiles slapped Scott’s arms in restlessness.

“What’s going on?” Catori announced her presence, seeing as they hadn’t noticed.

Well, Stiles didn’t. Scott probably did.

“Did your mom say there was an amulet in the vase?” The latter asked her while the other boy was in deep thought.

“Yeah, why?”

“Deaton talked about it, not even knowing it actually existed”

Just then Stiles broke out of his daydream and fidgeted around, wrapping her wrist and pulling at her.

“We need to talk”

*

Scott left claiming he was needed somewhere else and he just passed by to quickly check on her. Catori knew it was Stiles’ doing since he wanted to be alone with her. She knew the two of them two well already.

Stiles and Catori took a walk even after the one she took with Derek. But this one was much longer as they needed to talk about so many things.

The boy updated her in everything, and after that they were just too far away from the Hudson residence and decided to wander around. It didn’t take them too much longer to walk back because Catori just turned around and began heading home.

When they engaged in conversation again after it died down, they were almost home again.

“You look exhausted” He piped up, observing her.

“Maybe because I am” She grumped tiredly, dragging her feet along the ground.

­“Come on, grumpy Cat” Stiles chuckled, nudging her kindly. “When was the last time you got a good night’s sleep?”

“Let me see…” The girl pretended to be thoughtful. “I think it was before I found out that my friends were supernatural creatures. Or that I was kidnapped by murderous werewolves and their alpha. Somewhere in there”

“You still got it” He laughed a little, amused by her fierce sarcasm.

Catori wanted to reply, but didn’t in the end.

She couldn’t be bothered to do so, not being able to think anything witty enough in response. Besides, the girl was so exhausted that even being on her feet felt like such a challenge.

Those last few days had been crazy, she got very little sleep and her constant mental state didn’t help. Not to mention the walk with Derek and then Stiles and the improvised jujitsu training.

Catori didn’t even remember the last time she felt so was worn out.

Stiles observed her in silence with an evil grin as they entered the house. She lazily yelled a greeting to the house, to wherever her mother Lucy was.

The boy walked her up the stairs, watching that she didn’t wobble and being ready to reach out to support her if needed.

Once in her room again, Catori tiredly plopped down on the bed. Stiles couldn’t suppress an amused chuckle.

“You okay over there?” He tried to hide his smirk as he walked closer to have a better look at her.

“Mhm” The girl hummed affirmatively, too exhausted to even speak.

She had closed her eyes and embraced the great feeling of lying down to give her sore muscles a breather. Besides, with all those crazy events from the last days she was emotionally tired as well.

“What do you say, are you up to-?” When the boy turned to look at her, he noticed she had fallen asleep.

Stiles grinned to himself as he put the blanket over her. His plan had worked.