#boy... you are so unwell...

[hauntingblue]

So you are telling me they really do fly for three days and three nights until they get somewhere

[certifiablyinsanez]

I am haunted by the detailed, completed map of Hell that Edwin took notes on. You don’t understand, it makes me sick. It’s one thing to have a basic layout, a vague idea, or a rudimentary map but it was meticulously detailed. Down to doors and what they do and where they go. Down to secret spaces in the walls. He even knew what ringing an innocuous bell would do. It can only mean one thing. We don’t know when Edwin began trying to escape, but assuming he started from the get go, it means that he spent all his decades in Hell trying to find a way out. He never stopped running. And that is assuming he never stopped. From his second trip, we could see he resorted to his old ways and ran. But he was eventually caught, reduced to pieces. Even when Charles showed up, he didn’t seem very optimistic about their chances. He could feel every second of those 70 years. There were likely many times he fell to hopelessness, trembling in the corner watching himself be desecrated knowing it was going to happen again and again. How long? How many times did he try to be so, so quiet, hoping he would have a few moments before the next round? How many times did he muster the ability to run, just one more time? How long did it take him to run, discovering the ends of each ring? How many times did he sprint up, down, north, south, east, west, trying to escape? And what happened when he finally escaped? How long did it take for him to be able to relax, even a little? Because he can never relax. He must always outrun Death and her constituents because he can’t count on them to be fair. How many times does he look over his shoulder, waiting for the monster to claim its eternal meal once again? His breath of fresh air, his first taste of companionship in ages not only keeps him company, but sticks by him. And then, in that blessing there comes a curse, because now you have something to lose. Because when you taste ambrosia how can you return to starvation? He feels safe with Charles. Happy and comfortable, but the threat always lingers. And he knows that Charles couldn’t fend off Death. He never considered he could fend off Hell beasts; after all, he’s just a ghost kid. He watches innocents be slaughtered on repeat, unphased by the level of violence but no less affected by it, because no one has even a clue what it takes to be this kind. Even at his most happy, he has so, so much to lose and he goes back to Hell when hope was dangled in his face like the fruit of Tantalus. When he returns, he’s subjected to Hell once again, sustaining through torture that obliterates souls, only to watch his best friend, his confidant, his platonic soulmate, die horrifically. This woman who gave him sea-glass courage, so powerful and yet so fragile. Allowed him to be himself, gave him permission to do so. Was the openness to his closed self, and now she is gone. And he retains his composure, his stiff, British posture because it is what has saved him from madness and Despair, protected him, and now the world is darker without Niko Sasaki in it. But surely he saw this coming. After all, humans are messy. And yet, he shows up for their souls, time and time again.

Edwin Payne is THE character.

[starry-bi-sky]

mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.

now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.

He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.

(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)

The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.

The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.

And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.

(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)

The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.

anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)

[starch1ldz]

Spider!Reid origin goes from

S2 Spence

To boy band Reid and I stand by that

[v-draws-whatever]

WAUGH I haven't made any posts lately but recently I ordered a print from @potato-lord-but-not and oooOH my god I ADORE it

AND the thank you note and sticker!!!

I couldn't be happier omfg

[mdemn]

if you love me, henry, you don’t love me in a way i understand.

wishbone - richard siken, never let me down again - depeche mode, you are jeff - richard siken, hum hallelujah- fall out boy, plainwater: essays and poetry - anne carson, henry & vito via @miasmat, ghismonda with the heart of guiscardo (detail, 1650) - bernardino mei, two children in a motel bed - ethel cain , you are jeff - richard siken, never let me down again - depeche mode, wishbone - richard siken, & wishbone - richard siken.

[triija]

touching him...

[heuldoch7b]

Heya! I dunno why, but a lot of primarch fans don't draw Vulkan too often. I bet you could draw a really cute or cool Vulkan though. Please consider drawing the man whose hugs were good enough to give Dorn the feels (true story) 💚

(♡˙︶˙♡) i love vulkan thank u so much for getting me to draw him.. hes so big huge an d hes yuor friend...

[tapewrmm]

Finally I can show off my ghouls! Introducing my boys, Ulysses and Gladius. I love them deeply and will probably elaborate on them more (eg, their place within the Clergy, their past, relationships with other ghouls and clergy members.) A lot of the info provided are based on my own headcanons n’ such, so take it with a grain of salt.

[hauntingofhouses]

(concept art of young taigen - source ; art credit: @abigaillarson)

i cannot get over this concept art of young taigen. god.

just look at this angry bratty boy, too many feelings that he doesnt know what to do with! an abused 9 year old kid in poverty always playing with sticks in the dirt, obsessed with greatness and dreaming to escape his decrepit village—and he does!

he does escape. he runs away. this angry little boy, all claws and teeth and biting words uttered with a lisp, going on the run into a world he's never seen before until he makes his way to kyoto. and knowing him he probably forced his way in to be accepted by the dojo, growling and kicking even as he's thrown out, back into the streets, too stubborn to take no for an answer and never knowing when to give up.

taigen calls mizu a dog, weak, an orphan, a scrawny street urchin. but i can't help but think that he feels so bold to use those words because he had them spat at him too.

because taigen had the idea of "this is how the world is" beat into him from birth. he learned quickly that if you couldn't beat the world you could join it. but that meant losing your way, your values, your principles. and isn't that what true honour is? not just titles and status and glory?

we don't get to see what taigen, as a child surrounded by peers encouraging and goading him on, would've actually done if that meteor hadn't fallen right in front of them at that very moment. would he have really tried to throw that stone on mizu, killing her? we don't know.

but we do see what taigen (his true self, with no one around) does, when presented with the same opportunity. when mizu passes out in front of him, unconscious and near death, vulnerable, the path to restoring his honour lays itself out for him on a silver platter. and he wants to take it, wants to kill mizu, to claim what is his and return to kyoto and get back everything he'd worked tooth and nail for. he feels like it's what he should do. but he doesn't.

and later, again he is presented with the chance to betray mizu, likely offered by heiji shindo to get his rank reinstated within the shindo dojo. and again, taigen doesn't take it. he refuses. "stupidly loyal," fowler calls him later. loyal, like a dog.

because now, pulled away from the sneering looks and jeering words of people around him, telling him that this is what the world is, taigen had met ringo and mizu, two outcasts who refuse to follow a predetermined path to greatness. and so inside something blooms in him. something like hope. a chance to live in a world that doesn't kick you down every chance it gets, to live in a world where genuine kindness and and love and friendship and even weakness is possible, allowed to simply exist without fear.

because he'd been running away from the very idea of it the whole time. when he ran from kohama, he never looked back, never wanted to remember what it was like to be a child, afraid and hungry and angry and hurting, without the words to make sense of it, desperately wishing for something. something more. he doesn't know what. but he hears stories of great swordsmen and decides, yes, this must be it. this is what i want: glory, greatness. the twisted seed gets planted and thrives in this barren land.

and when he returns to kohama with mizu and ringo, he at last is forced to stop running. he must face the child within him again, and he tells that child to put down the stones in his hand, tells him to stop barking at anything that moves or looks at him wrong.

the child drops the stone, and taigen buys dumplings instead, gives them to mizu. the child within him, wide-eyed at the prospect of friendship, moves him to pick up a hammer and toss it to mizu. he's smiling inside even as he does it; giggling like a kid hiding a silly prank. as soon as mizu drops the hammer after him, he leaps at her, tackling her to the ground and they wrestle and laugh unbridled like two children playing while the adults aren't around to barge in and yell at them.

and then his gaze catches on mizu's lips, he stares into mizu's eyes, a sparkling blue, inviting like the open sea in good weather.

it's a man's desire that takes hold then, the child in him sinking away again, and he curses himself for it, because it ruins the moment.

everything goes to shit from there, and then it's back to being a man, back to putting on his grown-up's armour to play hero.

it fails. the shogun dies. fowler's beatings reopen all the wounds left by heiji shindo's torture. "honour is meaningless," mizu tells him. "nothing comes from being a samurai but death."

the words follow him, and he follows the words.

as everything burns down, he runs, leaving the fire behind him, and sees akemi, as well as the verdure of spring behind her, calling him. he does not hesitate then to hold his hand out to her, inviting her to come with him. "i don't want to be great," he says. "i just want to be happy."

what is happiness to him? perhaps he doesn't know it yet, or perhaps he does. but really, i believe happiness is what the child in him always wanted but never received. happiness is a home.

[teddybeartoji]

i may be sick but thats not gonna stop meeeee

this is gonna be short I think but when i get better m gonna send a longer one >:3c

but !!! wolf!toji and bunny!reader where the heat cycles match up but Toji doesn’t realize how bad things are gonna get until he knots you, thinking that you’re gonna need a cool down, but you just keen so pretty and ask him why he stopped fucking you!! asking him to keep going, thank he has to make sure his cum takes so that you can be a good little bunny and give him a bunch of pups like he deserves !!

also when can we discuss bunny!reader and snow leopard!satoru who reaaallly wants suguru to play with him so he makes it a point to start touching you even when your heads in suguru’s lap…im talking like, satoru makes a certain noise and you just INSANTLY know what he wants and present for him, not wanting to move your head from sugu’s lap because he’s rubbing behind your ears so perfectly

MMMMMMMMMMMMMM BIG WOLF!TOJI N CUTE LITTLE BUNNY!READER I'M SOOO INSANEEEE THE THOUGHT OF TOJI KNOTTING YOU IS SO CRAZY I NEED THAT I NEEDD. IT. toji gets ready to pump another load in you when you pout at him with teary eyes🥺🥺🥺🥺like tojiii c'moonn🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺need more🥺🥺🥺🥺yeah no this is so hot lunar i love you so fucking bad

FUUUUCKKKWAITT BUNNY!READER AND SNOW LEOPARD!GOJO BOTH WANT SUGURU TO PLAY WITH THEMM🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴BC THEY'RE BOTH JUST SO FUCKING NEEDYYYFUUUUCKKKKK suguru gets so smug abt it too..... and he let's satoru wait just to torture him a little..... he can see his boner and the wet patch on his boxers but he refuses to do anything other than to just keep scratching and rubbing at your ears🥴🥴🥴🥴 satoru is just kneeling in front of the couch, face level with you but he keeps his eyes on suguru. he's glaring at him, hoping that suguru will break bc:(((( he wants attention too:(((((( his tail thumps against the floor and his ears twitch:(((((((he wants sugu to touch him soooooo badlyyy:(((((

[0vergrowngraveyard]

the sky is being noisy (thunderstorm directly over my house) so i’m gonna talk about my villain au boys because they need therapy like right now 🫶

tw: abusive behavior

sonic:

sonic was taken in by eggman when he was young (eggdad moment) and didn’t realize that the doctor was just using him for his own gains. when sonic did find out, instead of having a battle of morals, sonic just straight up said that he would be better than eggman ever was and ran away

being around tails has changed his life both for better and for worse. for better because, well, it’s tails! a sonic will always need a tails! they’re a cosmic truth, after all! …right?

unfortunately, being around tails has also caused some harm. he does consider tails to be his little brother, but subconsciously the thought of family scares him after figuring out that eggman had been using him. he’s terrified of rejection and getting attached

is tails just using him too? what if the kit leaves him alone as well? he doesn’t deal with thoughts like these very well, frequently spiraling into extreme highs and lows where he’ll either guilt trip tails into staying by his side or passive aggressively pushes him away

he hates that he does it, he’s very self aware and knows he’s hurting the kid, but he can’t bring himself to either change for the better for leave the kit somewhere he’ll be safe

tails:

tails was not abandoned by his parents in this au, but they were very abusive towards the kit. the prower name is a pretty big one so he’d frequently make public appearance where he was forced to hide his mutation. at home, his parents basically ignore him yet get mad at him for not being the perfect child they wanted

when tails met sonic, he’d been kicked out of the house for the day. he was six years old. sonic found him sitting outside and just started talking to the kit, eventually convincing him to run away with the hedgehog

while being around sonic has helped him feel protected, he can’t help but crave that parental affection he was never shown by his own parents. he’ll go above and beyond just for a simple “good job” or fur ruffle (he does not swat sonic’s hand away). he’s also still very insecure about his namesakes and rarely ever flies

despite craving sonic’s attention so much, he’s also kinda scared of him. he never knows when the hedgehog will snap next and is walking on eggshells almost 24/7

the brothers love each other, they genuinely do, they’re just damaged. nothing about their bond is healthy. it’s very codependent, both of them relying on the other to be their source of happiness. it’s ruining them both

they’ll never leave each other’s side, tho. they’re all each other have and neither of them wants to be alone

[karamazovanon]

not pictured: razumikhin yelling at him

[the-muffin-master]

"Since the Netherbrain fell, you and Astarion have seen more of Faerûn than you ever thought possible. One night, he tells you that these last six months of happy memories are the counterweight to two hundred years of misery."

idk what's up with my obsession with drawing astarion being happy and cared for but I'm sure it's not gonna come up in therapy. AFFECTION BEAM!!!!

[starch1ldz]

Okay you guys really need to stick with me on this one.

Spencer Reid is a crystal boy. HE'S A CRYSTAL BOY!! He knows all the qualities associated with nearly all of them and knows all their names as well as scientific names and where they come from and how they're made. You're still with me right?

Like his favorite is Amethyst obviously (it's purple), but he also really likes tigers eye and carnelian.

I wouldn't necessarily say he believes they have certain properties but he definitely likes to think they do.

[crystallizsch]

jinx arcane i love you you've done nothing wrong whatsoever

if i had a nickel for every time i liked a character with side bangs like this and braids i’d-