#boy that's a lot of words

[thatoldstandby]

Games of the Year 2024 because why not

So, this is unusual for this place, but uh.

I spent a lot of time on video games this year, and I feel like I have to write something to make up for it because otherwise. Eesh. Plus I want to write a thing more often this year, and this will be the first/second, depending on when I finish it up. Below the cut, I'll start with some games I'd still like to play or play more of; honorable mentions because I played a lot of things I loved and they don't fit in the top, and a top 5, because who has time for 10 games (please ignore the above numbers).

THINGS YET TO BE FINISHED

Here's a list of games I haven't touched, haven't completed, or haven't done enough of a Think to figure out where it stands. I'd love to get to any of these, and probably will. Unless I forget.

Nine Sols, Lorelai and the Laser Eyes, Arco, Cryptmaster, Metaphor ReFantazio, Indiana Jones and the Great Circle, Unicorn Overlord, Indika, Slitterhead, Fate/Stay Remaster, Kunitsu-Gami: Path of the Goddess, Metal Slug Tactics, Caves of Qud, Arctic Eggs, Sorry We're Closed, probably some other stuff I'm forgetting.

HONORABLE MENTIONS in no particular order

Trails in the Sky FC and SC: This was the year I started my Trails journey. Luckily, it kicks off pretty nicely. Trails in the Sky FC is a fun, fairly generic JRPG with an entirely too lovable cast. Estelle is real and my friend. And then the last hour happens, and my interest is piqued immediately. And then SC is great, telling a compelling story with the cast of goobers you now care for and expanding the world expertly. And then the last hour happens again, and I'm super excited to keep delving into the world of Liberl. What an excellent throwback that fully explains why it's existed for twenty years.

Like a Dragon: Infinite Wealth: Ichiban is real and my friend. I've been playing the Yakuza games since Yakuza 0 was first released, and then I needed a depression/mindless work game series to plow through while working my way through law school, and let me tell you. There's nothing more perfect than a series where there's always something new and the city barely changes between instances. The Ichiban games are similarly excellent, and wonderful JRPGs in their own right, but this one took the cake by also acting as a conclusion (for now) to Kiryu's story that completely nailed everything it needed to. I think it got a little out there in the final hours, but I was still along for the ride to the end. What a game. Dondoko Island is basically another game inside of it.

Balatro: Jimbo is real and my friend. It's Balatro. It's probably the single best designed game loop of anything released this year. It doesn't do a lot for me, personally, in that I like it and appreciate the artistry behind it, but I haven't lost my life to it at any point this year. Good game, highly suggested, not fully my cup of tea. That soundtrack is excellent though.

Conscript: So I played three Resident Evil (PSX) style survival horror games this year. I felt that one of them was pretty bad, and so won't talk about it here. But Conscript? Conscript hit just right. Set in the trenches of Verdun during WWI, it's an excellent survival horror game that eschews the stereotypical supernatural elements attached to the genre in a way that makes it work. It's got just enough of a narrative pull to get you through the game as well. Absolutely worth looking at if you're a fan of classic survival horror.

Rise of the Golden Idol: The Case of the Golden Idol was one of the best written mystery games I've ever played; one I'd put right up there with Return of the Obra Dinn. The DLC was still good, but less than the main game; not only was it weirdly difficult, but something just felt... off? about it. Luckily, Rise was just as good as the original game, and an excellent second entry. If you haven't played the Golden Idol series but love mysteries, then by all means, you should play it. It's really good. I don't think I like Rise quite as much as Case, but that's mostly quibbling about hairsbreadth differences at this point.

Final Fantasy XIV: Dawntrail: I dunno, it's FFXIV. It's kind of a lodestone in my life at this point. And while Dawntrail was certainly not the best expac of the game, that's less to do with the quality of Dawntrail itself (which is mostly fine, with some shockingly clunky pacing issues, some off-sounding writing, and some poor VA direction for some of the scenes) and more to do with the one-two punch that is Shadowbringers and Endwalker. There's still a bunch to love about this game, and Tuliyolal and the surrounding environs are just so cool to me for a lot of reasons. Plus my static is cool and I love hanging out with them twice a week.

Threshold: I just played this last week? And I'm still thinking about it? What a weird, weird little thing.

BEST GAME OF SIGNALIS (2022)

Signalis (2022)

A highly prestigious award that Signalis has won every year since release. Excellent work Signalis. Keep up the good work.

TOP FIVE GAMES OF 2024 (AS OF ROUGHLY RIGHT NOW

5. Crow Country

The other Resident Evil (PSX) style survival horror I played this year! It's excellent, a tightly designed and paced adventure set in a creepy environment with a unique art style. The game controls really interestingly as well; adding a fun modern layer onto such an obvious retro love letter. It might have ranked higher on my list; but some of the puzzles (notably the mushroom puzzle) were actively bad and I haven't forgiven it.

4. Tactical Breach Wizards

I've been a fan of the Defenestration Trilogy since I first played the original Gunpoint back in 2013. Then, it was a neat, well written comedy stealth action game. I even liked the follow-up Heat Signature, though that had less writing and more of a focus on the gameplay loop, which was OK, but not mindblowing. So when the developer Tom Francis announced he was working on the third of the unrelated trilogy, and that it was called Tactical Breach Wizards, I was instantly excited and willing to wait for as long as it took. And it took a while. But when it came out? It was excellent. It is a strong tactical combat game centered around pushing enemies around a map, ideally out of windows. On top of that, it might be one of the best written games of the year. It had the unenviable narrative task of balancing around a SWAT-esque team of characters without falling too far into copaganda or falling for tacticool problems. Luckily, it not only does that, but is genuinely one of the funniest games I've played in a while. Utterly strong comedy writing, which is something that you don't come across in games often. Also, fuck Steve, no one likes Steve.

3. UFO 50

Most games have trouble getting down one or two gameplay loops. So the guy behind Spelunky, one of the best action rogue-likes, was like, I'm going to make that problem fifty times harder by releasing fifty different games as one. And then the madman did it; and he didn't just do it, he did it well. The concept behind UFO 50 is that it's a collection of 50 games that was a lost developer's entire back catalog originally released in the 1980s. So, UFO 50 is literally just 50 NES style games for you to peruse and play. It is an amazingly impressive feat of both game design and historical understanding. By hour count, it's the game that I've spent the most time in by such a large margin it's astounding. I don't even love all the games; but I love enough that there's always something more. It's such an amazing little package.

2. 1000xRESIST

A latecomer to this list, 1000xRESIST is... a lot. At a basic level, it's a narrative exploration game where you explore a world, chat to people, and "enjoy" a story being told. And what a story. It's about so much. Isolation, resistance, memory, familial trauma (and the continuation thereof), expectations, being a teenager, the things you carry forward.... Fuck, there's a lot, and it hit me in a very particular place that was difficult to continue at parts, but that's a sign of quality in a story. It ends astoundingly, and I love it very much. If there's one negative thing I can say about it, it's that it's a pretty ugly game. I try not to focus on that too much; but my god the models. It's really a shame, because there's some striking art design at play, and the use of colors is among the best I've seen this year. But those models are bad. Hekki Allmother; red to blue.

Mouthwashing

Fuckin'. Mouthwashing. Another narrative game, but where 1000xRESIST is a narrative sword, full of heft and weight, Mouthwashing is a scalpel. It is a tightly edited, highly focused that gets in to do what it wants, cuts through you with the cold horror and understanding of what it's going for, and then gets out. I played it myself after watching one (1) TikTok; I streamed it for a friend like two weeks later; I watched numerous streamers playthrough it; and then I played through it again with another friend. What an astounding piece of media, with some of the best cinematography I've seen in an embarrassingly long time. Just. Astounding.

[egophiliac]

don't think I'm not still obsessing over 7-12

[erebus0dora]

something something a chat i am in discussing the loneliness of Armand who needs someone to define him and see him, so

"...it was ghastly and awful and loathsome, and beautiful all at the same time."

and yeah i kinda just want to give ppl hugs with anything i do and talk to them in hushed tones, so there you go

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Out of sight, out of - wait.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[ofgeography]

okay so i'm rereading a bunch of the wizard of oz books, more or less because i stumbled on a collection that was very beautifully bound & i like to buy myself whatever i want all the time regardless of my financial health, and guys i think dorothy & ozma were gay for each other and also that maybe oz was like. a socialist utopia

[tallykale]

a bit of my postcanon vision

i heart people arguing

[demoniccak-e]

"we didn't matter."

they didn't matter. whatever they did, whatever they accomplished, no matter how good they were, no matter how much they hid themselves; they. didn't. matter.

charles was stuck in this place in time that was on constant egg shells, anything could set him off. his name, his being, his music, his voice. anything. didn't matter what he did. and then with his "friends". they were everywhere, they decided to kill him because he helped another pakistani boy, and he was half indian. but even then, he was half. it was a hate crime, it was useless, and nothing he did mattered.

edwin was hidden in a place, he hid with his own thoughts, but he never let them travel far. but it didn't matter. people still just looked at him, just one look and they judged him for his femininity. they looked at him with his books, and how he hid in a corner and they decided to drag him out, and they decided that he should be sacrificed because he didn't matter.

charles was too loud, and edwin was too quiet.

thank god they found each other.

[celiansartblog]

Now that I've barely introduced my Inquisitor, time to out myself as a equal opportunity Solas truther and introduce his accidental situationship with the guy he (unintentionally) doomed

It can only end well.

Thank the maker Bull is here cause there needs to be a stabilizing presence in this mess

[alltimefail]

Why doesn't Edwin call Charles, "Charlie?"

I shared the isolated audio of Charles' death scene where his "friends" taunted him as they killed him, and in that video, they called him "Charlie." This confirmed what many people in fandom already believed: Charles, a sporty teenage boy in the 80s, would not have gone by his proper first name and likely went by a nickname/shortened version of his name instead.

Now that we know that to be true, it does beg the question: why does Edwin call him Charles? I told you all not to get me started on this in the tags, but you stinkers want me to yap, so let's get into it! 😜

This is a very uninteresting answer, but I think Edwin does not call Charles "Charlie" simply because Charles did not introduce himself as such. Had he introduced himself as Charlie, I don't think Edwin would call him anything else.

This actually brings us to the "meat" of this analysis, and the more important question we need to ask: why would Charles choose not to introduce himself as "Charlie" if that's what people seemed to call him?

I have a couple of theories:

The first one: when Charles meets Edwin he's in a fragile state. A boy he's never seen in all his time at school approaches him, seeming to come out of thin air, just to bring him a lantern without any strings attached (even though Charles cannot give him anything in return). Charles has never experienced that kind of unconditional kindness in his life, and I'm sure that alone was enough to be a bit earth-shaking, mind-scrambling, and intimidating.

But it doesn't end there! The boy who brings the lantern is also claiming to be dead. Delerium/hallucinations are a common symptom of hypothermia so Charles could have though that Edwin was not real or was maybe even some kind of angel-like figure coming to keep him company in his final moments. I mean, the boy's wearing a dated school uniform, enters in a halo glow of golden light, and can walk through walls...it's not the wildest conclusion to jump to.

I think either of thos things individually or a combination of having your guard up, being a bit frazzled from the whole "dying" thing, and believing you're in the presence of an ethereal deity (combined with the fact that you're a people pleaser at your core) is enough to feel compelled to introduce yourself not in formal manner. Not to mention if Edwin introduced himself first, hand outstretched in a formal matter and proper posh accent on full display (something I can totally see him doing), Charles might have felt a bit silly calling himself by such a casual title.

While I think all of this can be varying degrees of true, however, my biggest personal headcanon is that Charles might not have introduced himself as Charlie because who's to say he LIKED that nickname? My circumstances were similar to Charles' growing up, I also had many nicknames from friends and family that I didn't ask for but was given anyway against my will... and I always hated it. Still cringe at some of them to this day, actually! So I think it's possible that Charlie Rowland met Edwin Payne, with all his formal stature and proper professional-sounding name, and took the opportunity to choose what he'd like to go by, without the influence of family or friends. In that way, his chosen identity that would kick off the rest of his existence moving forward (unknown to him at the moment, but true from a narrative standpoint nonetheless) serves as a "Taking your power back" moment for Charles who literally just heard the name "Charlie" being hurled at him as he begged for mercy from people who were supposed to be his friends. Even if he tolerated the nickname "Charlie" before, it certainly wouldn't have fond associations following the event that ended his life (if it had any positive associations to begin with).

Again, speaking from experience, Charlie also sounds like the kind of nickname that could be sugar-sweet on some tongues, innocent even, (his mother cooing over a young Charles), but terrifying from an abusive figure... a scathing kind of mockery. I've always imagined that Charles' dad more than likely called him Charlie, for example, and not in a fond, loving way (in the same way his so-called "friends" were not doing so in a loving way).

So yeah, why would Charles WANT to go by Charlie?

Now that we've established that, we can go back to Edwin...what you came here for!

All that in mind, I still don't see Edwin as the nickname type at all. From a romance standpoint I could maybe see him using a few dated, sappy endearments, but we don't ever hear him use a casual name toward anyone. In his lifetime Charlie would have been a perfectly normal name, but the kind of "fond" nicknaming practices and casual male friendships that happened in 1989 were not common practices in 1916, the Edwardian era. Even with his infinite fondness of Charles, I could never see Edwin uttering "Charlie." It doesn't feel right.

Plus, let's be honest: Edwin says Charles' name with enough love and reverence that he doesn't need to use an endearment. His tone says it all (lol).

Beyond that though, like I said above, I can't see Edwin feeling to impulse to call him "Charlie" because that's not how Charles introduced himself. Edwin strikes me as the kind of person that would be like, "If he wanted to be called Charlie, he surely would have said as much" and left it at that. But a name like Charlie also conveys a sort of youthfulness, and while he and Charles are 16 forever, technically, they have been detached from their lives for a long time and they're MUCH older than 16 in experience and in their professional life.

The only question I was left with, and one I've seen several people ponder, is why Charles would suggest they call The Night Nurse Charlie, (like from Charlie's Angels), as it seems a bit strange if his own name is Charlie/he went by Charlie. My answer/interpretation isn't that exciting, but it's one I feel makes the most sense: I honestly think this can easily be explained away by the fact that Charles is so far removed from that identity and so dissociated from his life that he no longer associates the name "Charlie" with himself in any way. Like it literally didn't even occur to him, in that moment, that Charlie/Charles are so similar because he has built a barrier in his mind between himself and that nickname; they're two entirely different identifiers to him. Whether that be a coping mechanism, or simply just something he wasn't thinking so deeply about (it has been 30 years since anyone called him that, except for Brad and Hunter in Port Townsend), we can't say for sure. However, it's clear Charles does not want to go by Charlie, and at least now we can safely assume why.

Let me know your thoughts! Do you agree with my interpretation? Do you have your own opinion that I didn't cover? Feel free to share with me!

Keep streaming Dead Boy Detectives & screaming about it ! Hugs to each and every one of you! 💜

[kangals]

FLUFFY GUY HAS MADE HIS FIRST ORBIT OF THE SUN! HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEPLER! 🎉🔭💫

[lotus-pear]

rewatched madoka magica again today bc i fucking hate myself and to absolutely no one’s surprise i went through all five stages of grief in a single evening

[athousandbyeol]

you know what? when i'm with nong wine, i don't have to try. just being together, whether we're sitting, sleeping, or doing anything, makes me happy. phi faifa is my happiness too. thank you for reducing what i have too much of and filling in what i'm missing. phi faifa loves you, nong wine.

[teashirt505]

Driver's Remorse // Part I

(original poem)

[videogamelover99]

Uhh I'm sure this is a hot hot take in this fandom, but I personally don't find the whole moon!Varian theory/idea very interesting in terms of narrative or character.

Varian's always worked best as this scrappy kid who used his intellect to solve problems but whose emotions got in the way of that. He's so desperate to impress Raps and the gang that he neglects his giant boiling water tank and almost blows up the village. His emotions towards Cass are what get him running around helping her until the last minute, making his science presentation a disaster. His need to please his father and later his hurt/distrust towards him is what leads him to recklessly experiment with the rocks behind Quirin's back.

This is also probably why he's drastically more competent as a villain, up until the end. He puts aside his emotions in favor of cold, ruthless tactics, and it's only when his emotions once again get the best of him that he's defeated. Varian's intellect has always been his strength, but his emotional immaturity and volatility is what got him to fail.

So then you give a character like that magic power that has all to do with emotions, it doesn't work. There's no reason to show off his intelligence or persevearance, because the rocks are a physical manifestation of power. And while he goes on this journey of growing up and gaining emotional maturity in season 3, he's never in a struggle with his emotions, if anything, he lets them have control more often than not.

Now compare that to Cass, who a) solves problems physically, so the rocks are a perfect extension of that power and b) fucking sucks at emotions. While Varian acts on his emotions constantly, she stuffs them in a box and relies on her anger instead.

Moon!Cass works because the power set it gives her works for her character. It doesn't work for every character, and especially not Varian.

[mix-n-max]

In honour of nothing and purely because I want to talk about the things that I enjoy:

My no. 1 favourite audio roleplay characters & listeners from various creators & why (ft. My fanart)

1. Redacted Audio

Gotta start with the channel that truly got me into the audio roleplay genre. This channel is like a gateway drug(/j/lh) for a lot of people.

Speaker: Imperium!Vega

Just how different he is from his canonical counter part is so very interesting to me. Especially since the premise of the Imperium is “if just a few things went a little differently”. His growth as a character with & because of Pet also interests me greatly. I also just really enjoy speaker/listener pairings with interesting power dynamics

Listener: Darlin’ (a.k.a Tank)

Tank is a listener with a lot of potential for different and interesting dynamics between speakers, both romantic and otherwise. Their past with the Shaw pack and joining late, the loss of David’s father and the “Quinn-cident” are all things that affect who they are and how they see the world and I appreciate that much character being put to into a role that usually gets left relatively blank to allow more people to put themselves in their place.

3. Auth/Soma ASMR

Another talented creator I found as a direct result of a Redacted collab. He’s so busy tho, hope he’s doing okay out there😔😔/lh

Speaker: Leo

I’m gonna be so real with y’all, this one is purely for… unseemly reasons… DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT-/j/lh He’s a werewolf, he’s a dom, he’s a freak (like that and not like that) And within three videos I’ve been given just enough story to keep me thinking about him… *checks notes* 2 years after he disappeared off the face of the earth/lh/j

Listener: N/A

I wouldn’t say there’s any real stand out listeners for me

4. Atonal ASMR

I love Atonal’s work. Like it’s actually crazy how much I enjoy it. I found them when YouTube looked a me, looked at my watch history and went “I know what you are😒” and now he’s one of my go-tos when I recommend people.

Speaker: Gideon

He was my first Atonal character and I love a polite little guy. I mean look at him!!! He’s so nice! And caring!! And silly!!!!! Genuinely such a calming character & series. There was a period where I would just put his playlist on when I needed to sleep.

Listener: Medusa

You mean WE get to play the cool interesting creature???? With a mystery behind our origins, oh Atonal, how you spoil the audience.

5. ZSaku VA

Man I remember when I first got into Saku (that is a lie, I think it was YouTube recommendations, could have also been from TikTok who knows). God he is so talented I’m genuinely jealous/lh

Speaker: Xanthus

This is another case where he was my first Saku character and I am just really attached. I really like the dynamic he has with his listener and his story interests me greatly. I am not ready for his story to end.

Listener: Pet

A recent standout in the Sakuverse line up but a beloved one for sure! I LOOOOOOOVE unique listeners and Pet is definitely in a league of their own[/derogatory(/j/lh)] This strange creature is thought provoking to say the least. (No one is allowed to say a WORD about how 3 of my all time favourites have something to do with listeners named pet)

6. Escaped Audios

The famous creator of such gems as Sneaky Goblin Ruins everything, Not in Front of Dinner Darling and You “Accidentally” Stomp on Stuart Little, I’m pretty sure I found out about his existence from the various pieces of fanart I saw on the hell site.

Speaker: Basher (Slash & The Basher series)

You can’t give me a weirdo and not expect him to be a favourite! His story is a lot of fun and I really enjoyed the premise. I got a thing for freaky deaky dudes/pos/lh

Listener: Slash (Slash & The Basher series)

It might be because I like the series as a whole so much but Slash is such a fun listener to me, like “yeees serial killer!! Kill those guys!” /j I seriously need to watch the “My True Love is Dead” premiere.

7. Castle Audios

I am so embarrassingly behind on Castle but GOD is her stuff good.

Speaker: Genevieve

I cannot quantify what or why but I love her so much.

Listener: Knight

Same as Evie I’m just so attached to these little guys/gn

8. Mr. Laveau

A friend of mine and an incredibly talented creator, it makes it so hard to just pick one favourite in each category. I remember when their very first episode came out and I fell in love with their world & story telling.

Speaker: Uriah (Bloodmoon series)

She is the moment, the icon and the very first character Veau ever posted I love Uriah so much I feel crazy sometimes y’all don’t even get it. He needs to come home IMMEDIATELY.

Listener: Cher (Bloodmoon series)

Cher is so complex and every time I feel like get a handle on who they are/what they do next I’m bamboozled. Yet another unique listener, oh how I love you.

[fightmewiatch]

The emotion behind the way Edwin uses fuck is so heavy, because outside of the pilot episode and the scene on the stairs, he doesn't swear. He's a proper boy, repressed and focused and he bottles everything up.

In the Pilot, "The police don't know what to do with a fucking witch", he isn't swearing about the witch. He's angry, and he's upset, and he's frustrated. He's trying to focus on solving this case, saving the girl, doing the right thing, fixing things. Edwin spent seventy years in Hell, fighting for a way out (the detail in his journal, he didn't get out on the first try, he spent those 70s years trying over and over and over to find a way out - but that is a story for a whole other time), torture and pain and heartbreak, only to get out and fall into the school to find out no one cared that he died. "An act of God." The school wrote him off, everyone wrote it off and that was it, that was the end of it, no one cared that a 16 year old boy went to bed and was never seen or heard from again, poof, gone. He spent Charles' last moments with him to keep him company, and calm, and not scared, the two of them knowing what had happened only for the school to once again cover up the death of a 16 year old boy and pretend that whatever happened didn't. Edwin spent the next 30 years connecting with Charles, trying to help ghosts so they don't spend their entire afterlives in a state of absolute sorrow and heartbreak like has. We get such a bare taste of the ghosts they've saved and helped move on, who knows how much good they've truly done, how many they've saved from going to Hell on technicalities like Edwin had done. He's frustrated with Crystal, because he's spent 30 years working with Charles and only with Charles, he knows his friend, he knows how he behaves and how he works and how he acts, those two are connected on a level some people only dream about, and here she comes, she latches on, and she joins them to help but she's so hyper focused on herself and David (understandably so), that she isn't giving the same attention to the case that Edwin and Charles have always done, and he's angry, and he feels like it's going to happen to this girl, he is worried that her focus on David, is going to cause them to fail. Crystal has every right to be upset and scared and everything else that she is, but she doesn't consider, until that moment, that Edwin has a right to be upset about how it seems to be interfering with the case. The way that she reacts when he says "The police don't know what to do with a fucking witch," she realizes it then just how important this case is. Edwin was dragged to hell, the boys around him obliterated - leaving behind the idea that maybe he was, too - so to the school, maybe Edwin just disappeared, like Becky, like all the other little girls over the years in Port Townsend. Solving Becky's case is so damn important to Edwin that he is taking it personally. And while it's subtle, Charles reacts to him swearing, too, as though Edwin does not swear. And based on the rest of the season, it's clear he really doesn't. The way he swears in the pilot is from a place of complete and utter sorrow and anger.

In ep 7, it's different. He's spent the whole season struggling with who is he, trying to come to terms with a feeling he'd repressed for at least a century, and he's had to do it while dealing with the Cat King and Monty and watching Charles flirt with Crystal and struggle through his own rage, he's done it as quietly as he could, as if bringing it up out loud might ruin everything that he's worked so hard for. But now he's in Hell, again, now he's trying to get out, again. Edwin encountered the reason he was sent there in the first place, and found out what really happened. Edwin spent all those years thinking it was purely malice that got him sacrificed, only to find out it was just because Simon had a crush on him, and did an absurdly stupid thing thinking it was harmless. I think in that moment, Edwin realized how easy it is to misunderstand something - because clearly, Edwin had absolutely no idea that Simon liked him at all, until the moment he admitted it in Hell. And then Charles shows up. Charles came to save him, armed with a bomb, a Molotov cocktail, and Edwin's notebook with a map of hell on it. Charles came down, he listened to Edwin's directions, he ran behind him most of the time to make sure Edwin was going to get out. Charles was with him, saving him from one of the rooms, following him to the stairs and up. He stopped with him, even when they needed to keep going, Charles let him have a moment on the steps. Edwin is in shock, he cannot believe it. All these years, all these write offs, all these moments where Edwin genuinely didn't think he'd ever get out of Hell if he were to go back, believed that if they ever got caught by Death or anyone from the afterlife, he would be damned forever because who gives a shit about a technicality, who cares about the poor boy that was sacrificed and written off by the rest of the living. Edwin didn't know what else to do or say, the emotions he'd kept bottled up while he tried to figure them out were coming out one way or the other. "It's so fucking stupid, it's unbelievable." Edwin didn't think he deserved it, thought it was stupid to come down and save him, because who would do such a thing. Charles risked himself to come down to Hell to save Edwin. Edwin never thought he'd be worth it. And when Charles just shrugs it off a bit, reminds him that he was gonna do it, and he's so easy about it that Edwin just. Confesses. And corrects him, when Charles misunderstands for a second. Charles didn't think twice about "Great. Love you too. Can we go?" And he really didn't even hesitate to reassure Edwin when Edwin clarified what he meant, that they had forever to figure things out.