#both sides of the brain
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Today in Hip Hop History:
Del The Funky Homosapien released his fourth solo album Both Sides Of The Brain April 11, 2000
#today in hip hop history#todayinhiphophistory#hiphop#hip-hop#hip hop#music#history#hip hop music#hip hop history#hip hop culture#muss history#del the funky homosapien#both sides of the brain#album#emcee#mc#rap#rapper#2000#hieroglyphics#producer#music producer
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DEL THE FUNKY HOMOSAPIEN // BM's [BOTH SIDES OF THE BRAIN, 2000]
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Was pondering how Mark’s rigid ass mask/lens is prob a Budget Thing (since squishy, bendy lens are pretty much a mandate for all hero animated series, like JL, BTAS, TNBA, Spider-Man, etc), and then I was slapped with a vision of Mark in a more JL/BTAS-ish style and I had to see it through. I am a genius btw.
#i had MANY thoughts while drawing my brain melted while posting so if ya have questions send 'em / ask 'em#but rapid fire: leans more into nightwing's look b/c bro's name is legit grayson + moves away from his father's sidekick/protege +#and legit has a blue and black outfit. that is soooo winking at robin (dick grayson specifically)#mark has a more casual / athletic fit and tried to keep his usual kicked puppy expression / mood#which then contrasts his more emotional (hero) side he acts upon when he's suited up as ANOTHER wink to the whole dual persona#mark does it unintentionally as he's eager to prove himself as invincible and thus more emotional/confidential/eager + feels lackluster#as just mark grayson.#but it's such a comic book trope it's interesting el show ignores the potential stakes for that + prob cause they dont focus on#villains#mark has debbie's cheek bones + pearls both so he skip the whole copy paste design tactic cartoons annoyingly use + wink at batman w/ pearl#nolan wears pink and debbie wears green b/c they have conflicting views on raising Mark but (used to?) stand on a somewhat#united front by having same collared shirt. but mark leans more on debbie's stuff visually w/ cooler colors + white shirt underneath#mark keeps his cape as another wink/nod at robins (tim drake TNBS specifically) which mimics his Dad + kid-like eagerness for hero stuff#which he gets rid off when he goes blue/black suit arc (cough cough nightwing looking ass) so just leaned MORE into it#mark has a heart on his chest because he's TRYING to do what he think he's best + emotional asf#lens/goggles are diff to keep the audiences' eye back at HIS eyes + look more ominous and predatory which the black/blue combo#already COULD do in canon but in show its just pallete swapped which ruins the more ominious look it probably intended#and doesnt really scream “OH NO! THERE'S NO GOLD! WHICH could be a marker of mark's joy vanishing!!!”#but i hope it does now but ALSO having design changes#the brainrotsreal's art tag ✧˖°:*♡#invincible rotating in my mind#mark grayson#invincible fanart#invincible#fanart#digital art#procreate art#i wish the style leaned more this way since it is messing with or TRYING to mess with some superhero tropes before it does its own thing#just straight up use nostalgia bait while it has his JL knock off#artists on tumblr
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Something about the inherent Lest/Maddie parallel that exists in Arcane S2—each of them the honeypot relaying the pillow talk of the clueless aristocrat they're sleeping with back to who they're really loyal to—and the way it reflects how Mel learned more from her mother than she likes admitting to herself (or than Ambessa ever gave her credit for until the very end) because, on the surface, they both use the same tactic to keep an eye on their potential rival.
And yet! Mel's compassionate treatment of Lest (a trans woman sex worker who she considers a genuine friend, is protective of and willing to accept criticism from, and who she refuses to consider expendable) contrasted to Ambessa's contingency plan with Maddie (a radicalized fascist who she converted into an asset by convincing her she was a more effective leader than Caitlyn and who was, in the end, eminently expendable) is one of the starkest illustrations of just how different Mel is, and how much better a leader of the Medarda clan she's going to be.
#first meta post on main in years and what is it about oh of course it's MINOR SIDE CHARACTERS WHO INFECTED MY BRAIN what else is new#but it's also about the medarda mother/daughter relationship that I'll be thinking about forever because they've both ALSO infected my brai#also because Mel has an opening for a new PA I'm just assuming Lest is on that ship with her at the end until proven otherwise#how normal am I about canon trans ally mel medarda EXTREMELY NORMAL WHY DO YOU ASK#arcane#arcane spoilers#mel medarda#ambessa medarda#lest arcane#maddie nolen#caitlyn kiramman#salo arcane
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This parallel this parallel this parallel, it's cute how surprised Sua looks when people are affectionate with her, but I wonder if Ivan ever reminded Sua of her sister at times with the way he treated her, sometimes being reminiscent of how she used to be treated by her sister, and the cruelty was just as familiar(?)

#brain vomit aurhhghhfhhfhghhg *explodes*#ivansua sibling agenda got to me#alien stage#alnst#but i do wonder#ivan and that woman are probably the only real sibling figures she's ever had even if she doesnt want to acknowledge it#but her siblings are so mean to her hnnn#and in the way that the the cruelty was supposed to be helpful and they both have a creepyish side to them even though theyre gentle#could be a penny of an explanation for why she's especially avoidant of him#other than the fact that he annoys her and all
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trying to gather my thoughts here, but i am OBSESSED with the way armand switches back and forth between vulnerable and threatening in this episode. his vulnerability isn't entirely calculated—he is genuinely insecure and desperate for love. however, he also uses that fragile image of himself to bend situations to his will. he definitely manipulates louis with it, but louis also kind of plays him in return: by adopting a more lestat-like role (jacob's words), he leverages armand's need for his love and acceptance to get things to go his way. i just love love love how they switch between who takes on the dominant role and the submissive role in their dynamic. i think louis feels he wields more power in his relationship with armand than he did with lestat because armand is "servile" to him, but armand is still pulling the strings in ways louis doesn't always realize or want to see. and i fall for that shit too btw, one moment i'm feeling bad for armand with his sad tender bambi eyes, a traumatized lonely being forever doomed to be a rebound, but then the next moment, he switches to threatening claudia as if it's nothing like.... everyone is just the worst lol. how dare you mr spears you had me fooled and you too mrs spears
#DEATH to all of them but for real actually#justice for claudia!!!#assad is so good at playing both sides of armand tho i have no choice but to love him#the power dynamics in his relationship with louis are just too galaxy-brained#interview with the vampire#iwtv#iwtv spoilers#loumand
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#ffxiv#emet selch#hythlodaeus#hythades#yeehaw t4t lovin hours#they’d be taking turns with the strap#look i love bottom emets but i feel hythlodaeus is indulgent enough for the both of them to give AND receive#hyth just needs to goad him a little and he sheds his old man tsundere demeanour for his secret loverboy side#amaurot’s worst kept secret and it’s these two everyone knows they’re fucking u dont even need to look twice#look i didn’t even need to look twice either once i landed in elpis i just looked at these two and went#‘wow emet all those years without ur beautiful purple boytoy really made you miserable’#+ of course immeasurable son boy disappointment singlefather copefestisms to last eons (nikolaos)#legitimately emet looked happy asf in elpis like what is that man feeding him#standing together in each others’ proximity all homosexual like#he loves to get bullied despite his protesting hythlodaeus is his favourite annoying menace#only natural he’d let him tease him in bed it’s what i got in my brain#emet unclenches his grouchy ass only in front of hythlodaeus let him pamper u king#hythlodaeus knows how to treat his babygirl right#he’s da kind of man to spoil you and want to be spoiled in turn like a tag in tag out thing#leave it to hythlodaeus to switch things up and keep it interesting
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Darkness monsters vs. real world monsters
There's a fundamental difference between Daydream Inc. and the Supernatural Disaster Managemant Bureau that's been niggling at my brain for a while now, and I think it finally clicked for me.
Obviously there's the overt differences: Daydream is a for-profit company where employees are all working for a selfish goal-oriented purpose, while the Bureau is a government sponsored agency whose agents risk life and limb on a daily basis trying to save other people.
It's almost too easy to understand why the Bureau would think of Daydream as a 'cult-like company', one capitalizing on suffering and death of innocent people caught up in ghost stories. And the reverse is also true-- Daydream seeing the Bureau as the ultimate annoyances, trying to destroy the ghost stories that create not only profit but advance strides in-- everything! Daydream has potions that can regenerate half a body! With the dream essence they harvest from ghost stories, they can full on cultivate reality-bending wishes.
Of course, with that kind of power, there are heavy dangers and consequences... I could write a whole TED Talk on that. That part's easy to see.
But with characters of the latest arc meeting (no spoilers), I was thinking about what negates this black and white pattern we've seen between the two sides. Common enemies and all that...
Bureau agents think that the ghost stories are 'Disasters'. They're the worst thing that can happen to a person, and it's the job of an agents to RESCUE people from those disasters, from the monsters and the horrors, to allow civilians to go back to a normal life.
Daydream employees think of ghost stories as 'Darkness', and they're here to explore those Darknesses to harvest from experiences with monsters and curses and the like. Sure, a lot of them die in the process. They're certainly not here to help other people because they understand that it's dangerous enough trying to save themselves. Yet... Daydream field officers persist. In fact, they're practically unafraid of the Darkness.
Because to each and every one of them, the real horrors are out in the real world. The Bureau thinks that monsters exist only in the ghost stories, but everyone who signed up to work at Daydream risking life and limb daily is working toward a purpose-- a wish potion. Something that can change their lives.
People only need to change their lives when there's something terrible they're struggling with, and like Kim Soleum, they are willing to face the Darkness for a chance to change something in their real world.
...In the heart of it all, there really is a commonality there. The Bureau agents want to rescue people from monsters within Disasters, but Daydream employees have monsters that live outside of Darknesses that they're trying to escape.
#괴담출근#got dropped into a ghost story still gotta work#GSGW#it really is the different takeaway from both sides#and from the readers!!#why do we read these stories?#is it to find an escapism from our own lives by reading the fantastical?#or is it coming back from these horror stories and realising that our lives are not that bad#Daydream employees will brave the monsters bc something in their rl went very wrong#whether it's a hospitalized sibling or wanting revenge#whether it's thinking you wasted your youth on something and wanting it back#or plenty of other reasons#the thought of what they've lost is scarier than any Darkness monster they can encounter#in this way Soleum belongs to Daydream more#but his wish involves having a normal world#which is why he fits in so well at the Bureau#...still incoherent but apparently my brain will do ANYTHING but fanfic right now#but i WILL DO IT#i will finish AND POST a gsgw fic before there's over 100 fics on ao3#WEEPS BRAIN LET ME WRITE
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Trying to keep warm
Masterlist
#When I drew this I'm thinking about the pre-travel setting. So that's why Grace's hair isn't as long as TSotSC S2 and both has eyebags ehehe#This might not look like bday art. but at least I posted something for Khun's today 🎉 may he lives in my brain rent-free for years to come#tower of god#tog#two sides of the same coin#my art#the 25th baam#the 25th bam#jue viole grace#koon#khun a.a#khun aguero agnis#khunbam#koonbaam#bamxkhun
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Thinking about Yusuf and Nicolò as young men again
#the old guard#kaysanova#yusuf al kaysani#nicolo di genova#siggy draws#it ain't much but it's more than i've drawn in months. i miss this sort of cartoony style. like a dreamworks movie almost lol#my brain conjured an anime ending apparently and i can't explain why#maybe they're too girly looking but i didn't feel like using reference pictures so i guess they're bishounen sdfghfds#ahh i usually have director's commentary in the tags#yusuf is probably around 23-25 and nico is 19-22? though i can't say confidently that yusuf would be able to grow a full beard at 23#but maybe he can maybe he's just that powerful#they're either very sad and lonely or very pensive. or both. maybe they're longing for something more... maybe a true love#i also dk what these clothes are. yusuf has some good clothes on. is probably flourishing as a merchant but still longs for More#nicolo is wearing... a tunic? but it could be a thin gambeson instead. maybe he's learning how to use a sword#i try to capture their best assets in this doodly style: yusuf's eyelashes and cute ears and weirdly shaped eyebrows#and nicolo's nose and heavy brow and the fact that he has almost no lips from the side lol
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Today in Hip Hop History:
Del The Funky Homosapien released his fourth solo album Both Sides Of The Brain April 11, 2000
#today in hip hop history#todayinhiphophistory#hiphop#hip-hop#hip hop#music#history#hip hop music#hip hop history#hip hop culture#muss history#del the funky homosapien#both sides of the brain#album#emcee#mc#rap#rapper#2000#hieroglyphics#producer#music producer
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Can you guys believe it's been over a year since I first drew her,,,,
#i hope she's ok... I've worked rlly hard at learning how to draw people but specifically poc in her honour#if im gonna have the biggest fictional crush on her ever then i am going to respect her for the queen she is...#GOD i need to get back into this fandom instead of drawing prism every two months like “imorovement ! yay !”#but uhh. i like this one. the nouth took ne ages to get reasonable so if it's bad IM SORRY#her tooth gap is important to me though so#ALSO im very bad at hair in GENERAL so if it looks a little off again im sorry#im also verryyyyy out of practice rn...college has been kicking my ass..#LOTS of essays yk. it is what it is but yeah!!! here she is <3#i remember being so proud of when i first drew her LOL anyways. WHY can i only do semi realism WITH HER#all my other characters say cartoony but she flips a switch in my brain#if I don't give her my all whats the point or WHATEVER#but yeah. yeah. uhh @valiant-valkery's post abt her in the fanom has been rattling around in my head sm since she posted it#and man i agree with that post SO MUCH like it definitely.. worded a lot of my muddled thoughts abt her in a much better way#especially the roxanna x reggie ship I've never liked how people characterised it ourside of myself#which was basically comphet on both sides. SIGHS !!! anyways#[agent moose's art]#i expect you to die#roxana prism#ieytd#ieytd 3#sir yaps a lot strikes again in these tags broshdhdk
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For the longest time, the quintessential song describing Apollo's wrath and consequent murder of Coronis for me was Marah in the Mainsail's 'Your Work isn't Done'.
It's dark. It's seething. Its image of Fate pushing the scorned speaker to complete his foul, terrible work of killing the man who stole his lover away from him is particularly powerful and it's always evoked this gruesomely tragic evolution of a glassy eyed Apollo stumbling through the streets, weak-legged and trembling from the betrayal growning more and more wrathful 'til he can think of no other course than to aim his bow and shoot. The price of betraying his trust is death and Coronis betrayed so much more than just his trust by taking Ischys as her lover.
The song itself captures that sensation of building wrath so well too. From the lonely guitar and vocals at the beginning which evoke this lonely, stripped back but distant grief to the way the singer is practically screaming his refrain of "Your work here isn't done" by the end, accompanied by the full blasting of instruments and an omnious chorus at his side, everything about this song is centered around building stakes, building realisations, building tensions and it creates this feeling of the speaker growing closer and closer with each new verse and chorus that adds to his anger.
There's also the absolute treasure trove of lyrics that work so well for specifically this tale. A brief overview of some of my favourites include;
- There's a crow overhead singing "Oh, Death is my friend."
- And though you think your time has come, the wheels of Fate have spun. Death has declared your work here isn't done.
- There's a girl on my heart safe ashore in her lover's arms
There's just such a vivid image to be drawn here - of Apollo's emotions being swallowed by his rage, of his resolve to end everything the more he bears witness to Coronis' brazen affair. There's even a strong female voice in the first two verses which seem to egg the speaker on in his spiral - a perfect opening to include Artemis who wishes for her brother to hunt that which brought him such pain alongside her. An Artemis who reinforces just what Coronis has done, an Artemis who does not want her brother to repress his anger after such grave an insult just because love was once there.
To me, it was perfect. Apollo's killing of Coronis was a crime of passion, an execution he sometimes cannot even bring himself to commit according to who is telling the tale. It's a wretched situation, harrowing, suffocating and cruel but if not by Apollo's hands, Coronis would simply die by another's. She cannot live after what she has done. The gods simply would not allow it.
AND THEN MY BIAS WAS COMPLETELY WRECKED BY LORD HURON.
Now, let it be known, I am a huge Lord Huron fan. Strange Trails is perhaps the most Apollo-coded album I've ever heard and songs like Yawning Grave and The Balancer's Eye capture such a visceral, gorgeous portrait of cosmic grief and anger that they haven't really left my brain since I first listened to them. Still, 'Setting Sun' from their Lonesome Dream album completely flew under my radar. Maybe it's because the commercial version is so much snappier than the Alive from Whispering Pines recording, maybe it's because I just hadn't listened to Lord Huron's discography in a while but my god. My god.
This song has it all; a quiet menace in its music, a strong male singer who sounds only barely restrained, an absolute HOST of lyrics that are so wonderfully perfect for the scenario -- after getting over how wonderful the song itself is, I immediately dethroned Your Work isn't Done because ultimately, 'Setting Sun' has something in abundance that 'Your Work isn't Done' minimised in order to focus on the wrath driving the song forward.
And that's love.
Setting Sun is so powerful because it's not just a revenge ballad - it's a dirge, a breakup song, a lament, a regret manifesto. So many times during the song, the speaker wonders when his lover stopped loving him. He recounts intimate moments and wonders if his lover was thinking of the other man when she was enjoying herself, wonders if anything she'd said was even real. And I love that so, so much.
Ultimately, Apollo adored Coronis. As inevitable as her death was, he regretted every second of it. No matter how angry, no matter how betrayed, no matter how intensely he was shamed, he still loved her. He weeps for her when she dies, he screams and grieves and cries when he's faced with her corpse. In some tales, no matter the cocktail of emotion driving him, he simply cannot bring himself to kill her. He'd rather cry in Artemis' arms and take his anger out on his own servant than hurt her. His own father has to dispatch Ischys since Apollo can't even bring himself to hurt that which Coronis once loved. Of course, in this case, Apollo's going to kill someone but the point is, it's not a decision of pure anger so much as its this complicated, horrible mix of resolve and lost love.
And my god does Setting Sun capture this conflict, passion, grief and love so well. UGH, I'm vibrating just thinking about it -- there are so many points where I hear its lyrics and can vividly picture Apollo, jaw clenched looking Coronis in her eyes and quietly confronting her.
Coronis, returning home at twilight after spending the day with Ischys to Apollo stringing his bow, "Oh? Is he ready to die for you baby? No, but you know I would."
Coronis lying to him about who she's spent her time with and Apollo's soft, near pained, "Does it hurt when you lie to me? If you asked, I would set you free."
I even really love the image of a Coronis who runs away from Apollo upon realising what will soon happen, not to escape his arrows but to warn Ischys who does not know what will happen. Of Apollo getting into his stance, taking aim at them and gathering his strength as the final refrains rings out "I know I'll never reclaim your love and that's as hard as it gets, so I'll be taking a life when the sun sets."
Other favourite lines of mine include;
- Oh, is he ready to die for you baby, now that the deed is done?
- Tell me when did I lose your love? Was it him you were thinking of?
- And I could never betray your love, you had me heart and soul. You might never have known it girl, but I was all yours.
And ultimately, I just like this conflicted portrait of premeditated murder much more than the crime of passion 'Your Work isn't Done' paints. Crimes of passion - especially when Apollo is concerned - are tragic in their own right, but in Coronis' case, I think I prefer it so much more when there's no way for Apollo's action to be misconstrued for anything other than what it is, especially since he goes on to cut Asclepius from his mother's corpse then carry on with building her funeral pyre. I think there's something so much more impacting about Apollo being unable to hide away from Coronis' blood on his hands and him having to raise Asclepius with those selfsame hands.
Love of the mortal does not supercede the responsibility of the divine. If Coronis' sentence no matter what is death, who better to lead her gently to the knife than he who still loves her?
#ginger rambles#apollo#greek mythology#In conclusion: GO LISTEN TO SETTING SUN AND YOUR WORK ISN'T DONE#I know people generally think stories where a god kills a mortal are always tragic because the mortal dies#but in this case - to me - this is tragic because Coronis has put Apollo in a hell of a situation#like one of the worst ones ever#Apollo HAD to have known Coronis was cheating on him for a long time#why else would he have left the crow to look after her when that's not something he's done for any other lover?#Not even Hyacinthus who was ACTIVELY being courted by like two other people including another god#Just imagining him looking the other way for months on end because he loves her and she technically hasn't slept with Ischys yet#so he's content to let her do whatever she wants on the side so long as she comes home go him even while she's pregnant with his kid#only for her to completely ruin it by ACTUALLY sleeping with Ischys thereby making her cheating an act against their relationship#and against his honour both as her lover and a man? Nevermind how it would reflect on him as a god to be made a cuckhold by a mortal man?#There is literally no universe where Coronis doesn't die for that. Literally none.#If Apollo hadn't killed her Artemis would. And if Artemis hadn't killed her - Zeus would.#Apollo really truly loved her though. He's breaking down in like every version of this story even though his kneejerk reaction is anger#And I just feel like there's something especially poignant about him wanting to be the one to kill her#of him - no matter how much he tried to escape this - squaring his shoulders and taking the shot knowing full well#that it's the mother of his child that he's hunting.#UGHHHHH I LOVE THIS STORY I LOVE IT SO MUCH#Fun fact I was supposed to do something like this for Hozier first but I have had AFWP Setting Sun#on repeat in my brain for almost a full week now. Since I can't do animatics I did this instead.#coronis#lord huron#analysis#I guess?#marah in the mainsail#damn they don't even have a tag on tumblr#ginger chats about greek myths
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Hi @yknow-fuck it’s Me Again :)
Back to feed you Thrice :)

Also a free Bay Oppy and G1 Oppy phone doodle bc I’ve been hit Hard with the “basic protag” liker curse 😔 (it is. Chronic.)
#my art#transformers#bayverse transformers#transformers bayverse#optimus prime#megatron#g1 transformers#starscream#ngl tho. I Desperately want all Megs other than Bay Meg to want Bay Oppy on their side#they see the (1) Oppy that’s willing to murder and maim and get a lil nuts about him#unfortunately tho they are Very brother-zoned#and also potentially murdered too. depends on how Oppys doing that day#also Ngl. kinda obsessed with how I drew bay megs#I think I saw a ref photo of him Months back and I did Not check again for this doodle#so color me surprised that he looks Good. the vibes Righr#also big fan of both bay Oppy and Meg’s being Ultra tired of the war. both look like they’re 5 months behind on sleep Always#also sorry about oppys Schrödinger eyes in the comic#didn’t realize they’d look like that after being scanned lol#dw I Will draw u more Bay screamer in future#/threat#he simply is just not what’s being rotated at Mach 5 in my brain rn unfortunately#also gotta love my inconsistent sizing ❤️ entirely depends on vibe and room!#oh damn I can move tags on mobile? with my finger? wow#game changer right there#the urge to write like I’m texting is Strong. and I must Not Do That
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Terumob is an excellent ship to me for a variety of reasons, but one of my highlights is the fact that on one hand you have a blond boy with the most absurd coping mechanisms ever seen by man, who spent years being suffocated by apathy and loneliness and spite only to be absolutely obliterated by a random kid who introduced him to the concept of "You're A Human Person With Flaws", and as a consequence developed an unhealthy homoromantic obsession with him (as rivals of course) until he is obliterated again, but this time with the revelation that his dear rival also is a Human Person With Flaws and that doesn't stop blond boy from loving him even if it gets him killed.
On the other you have another boy with bad coping mechanisms, but that in the tiniest outcome he starts liking blond boy back, it is pretty normal and unrelated to all the dramatic obsessive previously mentioned things. There is no tragic flair its just that his good friend is handsome and kind with him.
#almost forgot the addition that mob too is mentally ill and has worrying ways to deal with it#but this is equally important. its relevant that I emphasize that both have horrible issues you know#it brings out the fact that both are flawed and vulnerable and actually have a lot in common#which besides experience is the reason they could connect so well in theory#they can get to know about their deepest fears and ugliest sides without stopping caring for each other#while also not fearing this as much as they would with others because they're more or less in the same level#considering that these teenagers were so excruciatingly lonely for so long it would matter a lot for them#to have someone who truly understands#I have so much to gush about this ship oughhh they scratch several different spots of my brain#love these <3 boy#mp100#mob psycho 100#shigeo kageyama#teruki hanazawa#terumob#lalá rambling...
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While I think the moment in cql where Meng Yao– still bleeding from a stab wound in his chest btw– realizes Lan Xichen is in danger and decides to save the man who was so kind to him in cloud recesses is cute and all, nothing will ever beat the book for me. Little bookkeeper civilian Meng Yao, who has not had a serious chance to make his dreams of being a cultivator come true in fucking years, out of nowhere gets the fucking sect leader of Gusu Lan dropped right in his lap?
It's such a great example of Meng Yao's multilayered motivations to me. Because is civilian Meng Yao thinking of all the ways he can use this? Of the fact that having a great sect leader in his debt is the best thing that could happen to him? Duh. Obviously.
Is he very purposeful about appearing to Lan Xichen as a kind young man full of untapped potential, brave and willing to put his life on the line even though he really doesn't know so much about about cultivators, no sir, except a little he picked up here and there, because you see his father– 👉👈 Of course he is!
But the way through which he does that is... by actually saving Lan Xichen's life, at no doubt significant personal risk. The way he makes Lan Xichen believe he's kind and selfless is by... being kind and selfless. Just because he's doing it on purpose doesn't mean he's not doing it.
Is it lying if you want people to think you're nice and so you're nice to them? Isn't that just called being nice? Yes, he is very purposeful about how he appears to people, and very carefully crafts an image based on what he wants them to think of him, but most of the time he does that simply by... actually being the kind of person he wants to appear as. He still did the kind things he did, regardless of his motivations for doing them.
#mdzs#mdzs meta#meng yao#jin guangyao#lan xichen#rs: i wish it could've been you#I think for a guy like nmj the reason this 'fakeness' is scary is because it makes him unpredictable#meng yao COULD be nice to you because he wants you to think well of him and the best way to do that is simply being nice.#OR he could be planning to kill you later. you have no way of knowing which one it is.#but like... the existence of the latter– while obviously very troubling!– doesn't really make the former manipulation in and of itself#but both people in universe and the fandom frustratingly often take it as such#'i want this person to like me so i'm gonna be nice to them' <- this is not manipulation. this is just interacting with people.#anyway this dual motivation probably also applies to show meng yao. who is scrambling to find something else now that he's been banished.#but the reason the novel grips me so much is little civilian a-yao doesn't even *know* lan xichen yet.#it's the journey of this at first being very inpersonal- both as an opportunity and as a heroic act#(the impression he's giving being that he saved a stranger because he's just that kind of person 😇)#and over the course of their time spent hiding together becomes... very very personal.#meng yao coming in with a very general plan that he could charm any kind of person with and slowly adjusting it to fit lxc#but how is that so different from just... getting to know a person and realizing what kind of relationship you want to have with them?#I also just think it's cute to have a-yao get bonked over the head with the realization that this guy is so fucking NICE what the FUCK?#no way he's this lucky. good shit doesn't *happen* to him where's the catch with this guy??? hello???#lucky of course both on a personal level and for his practical goals. i loveeee both sides of a-yao's brain screaming in tandem
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