#both ready to sacrifice themselves for each other

[xxdemonboixx]

You are my symphony—my inspiration.

I heard a simple song, it turned to a full blown orchestra later on. Now the heaven sings.

When G’raha first came to my life I was quite confused by what was happening, why was this disembodied voice talking to me and where was the stuff I needed to deliver. Then I met him and I found him adorable, a smart radiant boy who wanted an adventure and action. I slowly started to care for him and fall for him.

But then he chose to stay behind and I felt a tug in my heart, I didn’t know when I was going to see him again, if ever. That made me sad but I had to go on, move forward.

Then I met him again, with the Crystal Tower. He hid himself from me, even when I did recognise him. Talking to me about his dreams and wishes, talking about me, trying to keep his identity secret.. I still knew it was him.

I’m happy to have him back and I’m waiting for a chance to take him on an adventure, a proper one. I promised him that and I will keep that promise even if it’s the last thing I do.

Stay radiant, my sunshine.

[gothicfied]

Hey, i love your writing. I was wondering if you could do a Dae-ho fic where the reader is apart of his group (with gi-hun and stuff) but used to date Thanos, who is trying to win her back. She asks the boys to help stop her from going back to him cause she can;' help but want to. Later dae ho asks why she dated thanos cause he was toxic and she admits she feels she doesn't deserve better. Dae ho confesses and promises that he will give her better. I don't know if this makes sense, but thanks :)

Why can't I let go? - Kang Dae-ho / Player 388

Pairing: Kang Dae-ho / Player 388 x fem!reader (maybe slight Thanos x reader)

Summary: Seeing your ex months after your break up made you question things again, but Dae-ho gave you a reason not to go back to him.

Warnings: Mentions of death/dying, gunshots (typical squid game stuff), other than that it's just fluff, not proof read (english isn't my first language)

Word count: ~ 1.6k

A/N: hi and thank you sm!! I hope this comes close to what you had in mind (:

What made being in this slaughter house even worse for you, besides the fact that you had to worry about dying every few seconds, was the fact that your literal ex boyfriend somehow also ended up here. Well, actually, you knew exactly why Thanos, as he liked to call himself now, entered the games as well — Not only did he basically bankrupt himself with investing in that stupid crypto currency, no, he took most of your savings too and created unnecessary money problems for you. That was obviously the break-up-reason, although he just wasn't the best boyfriend over all.

His presence already pissed you off when spotting him in the crowd after initially waking up in that uncomfortable bunk bed. Thanos only spotted you when walking up the weird, colorful stairs to the first game. Pushing other players to the side, he made his way up to you and tapped you on the shoulder, non-stop apologizing for what he had done to you. It has been like that since you broke things off with him, but you made the effort to block him on everything and simply not answer the door when he came by every now and then to win you back.

Thanos was annoying and dangerous, as it showed itself in Red-Light-Green-Light. Not only was he a junkie, he was also seemingly ready to sacrifice the life of other people for his own benefit. At first, when Player 456 yelled out that everyone who got 'disqualified' would essentially get shot, you didn't want to believe him. Even Thanos leaned over to you, much to your annoyance, and said "What the fuck is this guy on?". He's one to talk, huh. In the end, when Player 456 was right, you immediately took his advice and voted 'X' during the first voting.

"Thanks for saving us back there." you said to Player 456, hesitantly approaching him and his friend, Player 390. They introduced themselves as Gi-hun and Jung-bae, inviting you to sit down and eat with them. A few moments later another young man dropped down from his bed and agreed with you, also claiming that how Gi-hun acted was heroic. "Why'd you vote like that then?" you asked Dae-ho after he sat down next to you, pointing at the blue badge upon his chest. "Ah, you know," feeling like he got caught, he kept looking away from your eyes, "the money now is not nearly enough to pay off my debts. But, don't worry, I'll definitely vote different next time!" You guys continued talking and even laughing a bit, telling each other about your life outside of here.

You, alongside Jung-bae, found out that he was a marine. Both were actually, immediately finding common ground. Watching them joke around with each other, you couldn't help but smile — Which stopped as soon as you looked to the other side, to the people who voted 'O', and spotted Thanos staring at you. He was clearly not happy with how you voted or the fact that another man made you laugh, even though you only met him a few minutes ago. That's just how Thanos is, you feared: always jealous about someone, worried you're going to cheat on him, but would then flirt with his female fans in the same breath. He always claimed it was because they were his fans and they loved to feel like he was reachable, but that was never a justification for you.

For some reason, that you didn't pay attention to, a little fight between the two sides broke out, and Thanos thought this was the best time to drag you away from all that and talk with you. You saw him stand up and approach you, to which you already shook your head, but when he grabbed your arm and just took you with him, you couldn't do much. "Why would you do that?" he asked you, his eyes staring into yours. "What? What did I do now? Can't you just leave me alone?" You crossed your arms in front if your chest and just looked down at your feet, because, if you were being honest with yourself, when your ex boyfriend looked at you like that.. it kind of did something to you. Perhaps regret your decision.

"Baby, seriously?"

"Don't fucking call me that."

"Come on, I know you love it, princess.."

"Get to the point."

You were annoyed, agitated, but somehow still wanted to hear what he had to say. Thanos huffed, furrowing his eyebrows. "Why did you vote like that? If we play just two more games, we could pay off our debts and maybe.. try again?" He grabbed you by your shoulders, shaking you a little so you'd look up at him again. When that didn't work, he wrapped his arms around your waist and tried to pull you close, but that was your breaking point. Forcefully, you ripped yourself out of his grasp and started walking back to your group again: "Don't even start with that. You ruined my life."

In a twisted way, you felt bad. His proposal almost, almost, made you give in. It was just nice to see a familiar face and hear a familiar voice in this environment, it brought you comfort to know that there was someone you shared so many special memories with that you could turn to. And, you would, just if it wasn't Choi Su-bong. "Is everything okay? Was he giving you trouble?" Jung-bae asked, looking like he was ready to fight him. Actually, he was probably ready to fight everyone who voted 'O'. "No.. no, I'm okay." Without another word you sat back down next to Dae-ho, picking away at your fingernails.

"Who is he?"

"What?"

"That guy.. who is he?"

"To me? My ex boyfriend."

The man let out an 'aha', just nodding along. When he looked at Thanos and then back to you, he couldn't really believe it — That purple-haired guy was almost the complete opposite of you. You were pretty, seemed to be kind and gentle and Thanos was just kind of.. Dae-ho would say you're way out of his league. "If he's bothering you, just tell me, okay? I'll take care of it." You looked at the former marine, giving him a smile when noticing that he was serious about that. You thanked him quickly and looked away, feeling your cheeks heat up slightly.

After surviving the second game together, Dae-ho and you have gotten closer incredibly fast. He was mesmerized by you, to say the least, and you appreciated that you had someone to rely on at all times. That still didn't stop Thanos from perusing you, though, it actually was the complete opposite. A few minutes before lights out he tried to talk to you again, following you to your bed, which was right behind Dae-ho's. The two of you slept head to head together, only a metal bar separating the beds.

"Please.. just listen to me! I miss you.. I swear, I'll vote 'X' the next time!" Thanos' annoying voice rang through your ears and no matter how often you told him to leave you alone, he didn't want to understand it. At some point he got annoyed and just walked off himself, sighing and planning to try again next day. With a quiet groan, you let your head fall back against your pillow, Dae-ho watching you the whole time from his side. He felt like it wasn't his place to continue to ask you about the situation when you didn't bring it up yourself, but he was still curios as to why you'd ever be with that guy.

"Hey, are you okay? Do you need me to say something to him next time?"

"No.. It's fine, I can handle it. It's just- complicated, that's all." You were tired, your mind was reeling — People dying was stressful enough and now you had to handle your immature and manipulative ex boyfriend as well. "You don't have to answer this but," Dae-ho tucked some of his hair behind his ears, sitting up so he could properly look at you, "why did you date him? You're too good for him." His little comment made you chuckle, even though he was right and it probably wasn't all that funny. "I don't know.. to be honest, at that time I just felt like I didn't deserve any better."

Dae-ho was appalled by your words, his face scrunching up. How could you even talk about yourself like that? "You do deserve better. You deserve the world." His tone wasn't angry, but definitely a lot firmer than before, showing you that he actually meant what he said. "What?" you asked him, also slowly sitting up now. "I'm serious, you're kind and smart and deserve a better life, a better boyfriend." His words made your heart beat a little faster.

"He doesn't deserve you. I would treat you be-" As soon as Dae-ho noticed what he just said himself, he immediately stopped talking, looking at you with wide eyes. "You would treat me better?" Your voice was laced with amusement, maybe teasing him a little now. That question made him stutter a quiet 'Yeah..' and it was clear how taken aback Dae-ho was from his own words. He didn't want you to know, at least not now. He knew this wasn't an ideal place to develop a crush on a girl he could lose in an instant, but he couldn't control his feelings now, could he?

"A lot better even."

"Then show me.."

[lustlovehart]

Despairing Survival

I recently watched all of us are dead, and your girl is not immune to apocalypse au’s (•̀ᴗ•́)و (And angst. The ending of book 7 has me realizing we're close to the end and it's becoming real sad 😔)

Synopsis: After your sacrifice in the outbreak, he thinks back to the moments in the wretchedness with you, that made hell much more manageable.

Features: Riddle, Leona, Azul, Jamil, Vil, Idia, & Malleus

Warnings: Overblots are zombies, Meant to be viewed as a magicless au but doesn’t matter too much because non-humans are still not human, Angst, Childhood friends, You die, as usual for my fluff— a little corny, in Malleus's portion you're as old as him, because idk how childhood friends would work if you weren't.

One day you’re living an entirely normal life with him, and the next you know, inky beasts crawl on the floor, desperate to take a bite out of you. It´s whiplash, one moment you´re laughing with the man in front of you, and now you sit trapped in a closet, his hand covering your mouth as monsters drag themselves across the floor.

When he looks down at you, he can't help but feel a sting in his heart. The fear in your eyes reminds him of who you are in front of him, his friend who's been the center of his mind ever since knowing you.

But now, how will he ever come to terms with his inner conflict knowing one of you might not be here tomorrow. Though, what might be worse, is acknowledging the fact you don't return those feelings of his.

He will only ever be your friend.

Both of you have to fight for your lives in NRC as overblots chase you left and right, meeting with other students to get out of the wretched hellscape. Seeing friends you've known for so long become infected from their fight... Having to let them go with tears in your eyes, realizing you will never see them again.

He watches you with every breath, your second shadow, becoming your crutch as the losses become too much. While everyone else sleeps, he looks as you stare down at everyone, opening your mouth to say something to him. As your lip twitches, he'll hold your hand.

"Don't say anything. We have tomorrow, and the day after, or maybe next week." You finally lift your head, looking into his eyes, "We'll talk then."

...

And then, the termination of all infected is brought about. And he's left gasping for air in panic as you step away from him.

A newly enacted bite on your hand.

Even when you put your arm up to stop him from getting closer, he keeps walking toward you.

"You... You won't turn. You can't." you don't smile when you look at him, and neither do you say words. All you can hope is that he understands no matter what he believes, he can't deny reality.

The others stare in disbelief, watching the two of you with trembling breath. He's ready to yell another delusion before you pull him in, your lips on his. It's enough of a distraction for him, your soul welding into his. It feels like an eternity to him, but only because he wishes it to be. When you finally separate, he's ready to take hold of you and never let go. But he doesn't have a chance with you pushing him back into the others.

"Don't die."

Arms desperately hold him back from chasing you. The only fragment of you left is the voice that echoes as you lure overblots to your person, giving them a chance of escape.

He doesn't have the chance to see if you make it, the explosion blowing where you last were to pieces.

Riddle

He looks back at the time you all were caged in the library, only you and him solely being awake. Despite the gravity of the situation, you watch intently as Riddle buries himself in the few books left on the shelves.

A vast majority of them are medical books, but there are some law articles, buried at the bottom of the stack. He can feel your eyes on him as he scans each page, but he doesn't speak, only allowing you to continue staring in the silence.

It reminds him of the way you always peeked over his shoulder when he snuck out, curious to whatever he was doing. The proximity always made him nervous then, and it still does.

"You know, I don't think you have to keep studying anymore, Riddle." you finally break the quiet, Riddle glancing up from the words on the paper. "Who knows when this will be all over... Medical pursuits might as well end here."

"Don't say that, you might as well be saying to let the world die. When this passes over, I still need to pass..." Riddle's sentence falls away when you come closer, turning his head to find you a few inches away.

"I'm not trying to be negative I was just..." There's a certain hurt in your eyes that tells him something, but he isn't so sure until you tell him, "If the world does go back, do you really want to keep studying something you're not passionate about? I mean..." Riddle's eyes are trained on you as you rest your head on his shoulder. "Your mom's not here to do anything right?"

There's a comforting smile on your lips when you look at him. But it falters when he only stares at you in silence. You return your head to his body, following along the page. He's about to blurt his feelings to you before he feels your hand on his, replacing the anatomy book with the texts from the bottom.

"Well then, tell me everything, for as long as you can."

...

Riddle places the book at the root of a tree with your name carved on it. He wishes he had more time to tell you the rest of what he knows.

Leona

He thinks of when you all were trapped on the roof, his body lying on the edge as he looks into the sky, indifference masking his face. Part of his body hangs off the roof, overblots several stories below attempting to reach for him.

"I hope you're not trying to leave me alone in this apocalypse, Kingscholar." your shadow overcasts him, blocking his view of the stars. He tuts, but he won't tell you he prefers the sight of you over those burning balls of fire in the sky. He sits up, taking your hand and pulling you next to him.

It's similar to the way he would drag you closer to him when you both were younger, shielding you from heat and any danger.

"Don't think I can. You'd follow me into the afterlife and make me die a second time." You don't deny the claim, but he smiles with the way you roll your eyes at him. He watches you ready a retort but sees in real-time when you change your mind on what to say to him.

"... Yeah, I don't know what i'd do if you died." Those words have him look over at you, eyes wide for a moment. He recomposes himself before you have the chance to see it though. "I wouldn't have anyone to annoy while I give into insanity, would I?" despite the dark undertone in your words, you flash him a bright smile.

"... Don't say depressing shit like that."

"Then don't casually hang yourself at a height that could kill you Leona." he never would've let that happen anyway, he can't leave you here.

"Right right, I won't-" he's cut off when he feels your arms wrap around him, a warm embrace that has you bury your face into his neck, muffling your voice.

"Lets survive together."

...

He doesn't know if he should feel sad or angry when he looks at the ruined building. It seems that was the first agreement the two of you have ever broken.

Azul

He remembers holing up in the pool, everyone else talking on pool floats, far from where the two of you were. Azul sat next to you, dry and out of the pool, meanwhile, you sat right on the edge, your legs submerged in the light of the water.

Silence permeates the air, he can tell you're upset at him.

You always did the same when he was younger, turning away from him whenever he said something self-deprecating. You wouldn't speak to him until he said something positive about himself, to which you would turn around and smile. It always did make him feel better.

"If we end up having to run, I do hope you don't slip from the water on your feet."

"Well, maybe you could carry- Oh right you're not too strong in that area are you?" passive aggression is evident, so he understands you don't truly mean what you say to him. Silently, he scoots closer, testing the waters as to what you can tolerate from him. When he's shoulder to shoulder, he finally asks.

"... So what did I do exactly."

"Be stupid." a very vague reply. Typical from how long he's known you. He's sure he can suave his way out of your annoyance. He's ready to put on his charm and apologize all princely to you. He halts when he feels your hand grip tightly onto his. "... Don't disappear by yourself again..." You don't look at him when you say it, it sends a pang in his heart at the sight.

"... I was making sure you'd have-"

"Please, just... Don't leave me again. I... I'd miss you so much."

...

When he looks out at the sea, he no longer thinks home. He thinks about how you're such a hypocrite.

Jamil

He recalls when it was only the two of you trapped in the kitchen together. He insisted on gathering up leftovers for you so that you'd have enough energy for however long you'd be stuck in the school.

But, with how low supplies were, and the thought that there could be other survivors, had you deny him vehemently. The amount of ingredients could only really feed one person, and even then it wouldn't be enough sustenance.

You were always like this... helping when you didn't need to when you needed to care for yourself... It's frustrating, but, he can't deny the feeling of his heart softening when you care for him. It... was nice not having to work.

"You won't be able to find others if you can't even survive yourself." Jamil massages his nose bridge as you block the pantry, guarding the last few cans of food. "So please, let me make something for you."

"I'm sorry, but if there are other people who need it..." you zone out for a moment, allowing space in time for Jamil to take hold of you and hoist you over his shoulder. "Wha—Jamil...!" despite your struggles, his strength has him successfully sit you on one of the counters.

"You can't care for any other survivors if you can't care for yourself." you hiss when Jamil pinches your nose in reprimand. "So-"

"Then why aren't you eating for yourself?" your question has him quiet. "... I'd be fine with you eating the food if it's for you." ... Your naivety for survival has him frustrated, but the way you look at him has him soften. He's thinking of a reply but stops when he feels your fingers brush his hair behind his ear, a cold can on his lips.

"I'd be fine with anything as long as you don't die."

...

He shouldn't have listened to that sweet voice of yours. If he hadn't, maybe you could've dodged that bite in time.

Vil

He muses on being stuck in the theater room with you. It wasn’t the best place to be in during an outbreak, but it was the only place you could go to really. Vil places a blanket that had been left behind on your body, your head resting on destroyed couch cushions. It’s not the best, but all he could really provide you with.

He pauses for a moment looking down at your slumbering body, your inhales audible through the room. Typically, he would tell you about such a bad habit, but in the moment, he thinks he wants you to stay like that. It helps him remember that you’re there next to him in the hell that is reality.

The soft smile on his lips falls when he realizes what he’s about to do for you. But, it doesn’t fall because of his sacrifice, no… That’s really the only thing that has him ready to go through with it. The part that has him frowning is the cruel joke that you will no longer be there in his life, nor will he be there for yours.

He takes a few more seconds to absorb you, before standing up and turning heel to the door. Of course, he’s stopped by your hand pulling on his clothes. He should reprimand you for that, but the way you look at him holds him back.

“Where are you going Vil?” Your voice is still hoarse from the night you spent crying away. But it has him stiffen. “… You’re not leaving right?”

He should tell you the painful truth. Yes, he is. All because he needs you to live on, no matter the cost. He’s not going to let himself die, but if he must for your sake…

“… Don’t.”

“… It’s really not that simple—” you tug his shirt, his lithe figure falling on top of you. He thinks his acting skills always coincidentally fail whenever you’re involved because he’s sure you can see the way his perfect eyebrows furrow at the sight of you below him. He knows that the longer he looks at you the harder it’ll be to do what he has to… “It’s for you—”

“Nothing should be for only me… Vil…” say that one word, and it’s over for him. “Stay.”

…

A part of him wonders why you couldn’t listen to your own demands whenever he looks around his own dressing room.

Idia

He thinks you might’ve been his biggest nemesis, especially with that hero moment you pulled on him. He hates it so much, that he should be envious... You're basically a main character now...! Which...

Which means... you should come back right? To him?

Idia mentally replays when you both were stuck in the computer lab. The stuff in there wasn't nearly as high-tech as his own, but to him, it was better than being stuck in the gymnasium. A majority of the computers inside were wrecked, and unusable. A single screen worked though, Idia's fingers clicking the keyboard as you lean over him.

With the way he slams the table tells you something went wrong.

"There's no wifi...!" he leans back in the chair, burying his face in his hands. You can tell he's in distress, anyone would be. "How are we gonna get out—?!" Idia feels your hands pull him from his conflict, your eyes staring deep into his.

... You can't expect him to function properly when the friend he's been in love with for years is in kissing distance. His hair grows bright, the feeling of your hands on his face only making it flare even more.

"We'll get out." His lips part... Usually, this is where two love interest kiss right— He's cruelly reminded, however, that he's only a friend to you. Nothing more than the boy you played video games with. "Idia."

"Y-Yeah...?"

"Let's leave together, and play every game there is to play."

...

You never did get to play those games. And for once, Idia doesn't think he wants to play them anymore.

Malleus

He dreams of you. Specifically, he always finds himself in the gardens. It's a grotesque sight, overblots banging on the exterior, trying all manner of force to get in where the both of you stand. He's looking around, thinking of any way to get out without putting you in harm's way.

His face is stoic as he does it, an attempt to keep you calm while he thinks. Yet, you know him, if anything, despite his face, he's the one that needs to calm down. Coincidentally, you're one of the few who can do that.

"Stay here, I will go out and—" Malleus is interrupted by the feeling of your arm hooking onto his and dragging him far away from the view of the dead. "Wait, what are—" Despite questioning your actions, he doesn't attempt to stop them, he never has.

The feeling of you dragging him away is the equivalent of sneaking into the castle and bringing him out of his lonely solace, unknown to the senate. It's the only time back then, he would converse with anyone other than Lilia and the elders.

He will never stop you from dragging him away, not in reality, and not in his dreams.

"We're staying here until you make a plan that has us both put in danger." you shut the door of the garden shed, hiding you both from the hungry beasts that bang on the botanical garden's glass. Your arms are crossed as you look at him, and even with these circumstances, he can't help but think you make everything much livelier.

He knows the unfortunate answer to his feelings about you, but he will always imagine himself indulging in his deep rooted love.

But he still can't ever let harm come to you.

"Forgive me, but I can't." He takes a step closer to you, "I'm not letting that happen." He lets his words ruminate, your silence suffocating when he turns to leave. He's stopped when you pull him back, your arms hugging him from behind.

"It would be too lonely without you, Malleus."

...

Once again, he's the one who's left to be alone. And... He really thought you were the one to change that.

mmm... Reader and them having a Su-Hyeok (Former bully) and Nam-ra (Class President) dynamic instead... Being a halfbie desperate for human while (Insert Twst Character) desperately keeps you tethered to him because he's so in love... Sorry, my sadness from that series combined with book 7 hit hard 😔

[acrosstheujiverse]

Through the Years

【📂】 summary: it’s you and your husband's silver wedding anniversary. it's been 25 years since you've married kim mingyu and you’re filled with nostalgia as you reminisce back on how life has been in your sleep. 【🖇️】 pairing: husband!mingyu x wife!reader. 【💿】 genre: nostalgia and heartwarming. 【🧺】 tags: established relationship; memories; pregnancy; mentions of religion; one mention of "cheater"; married life.  【📦】 word count: 2.5k+

📬 — author’s note！this is inspired by a real story.

thank you for the overwhelmingly positive response to my headcannon post, dynamics of an introverted couple !! (check it out if you haven't).

i dedicate this to those who are raising children—we appreciate you. some of us (children) may be too afraid/shy/embarrassed to say this… but i’ll say it on behalf of them. from the bottom of my heart, thank you for all your effort, support, love, and sacrifices.

*i’ve included some easter eggs! ^^

(it was my birthday 2 days ago so i was motivated to give you a gift in the form of this story hehe~ happy reading! ٩( ᐛ )و*)

p.s. please pardon any grammatical error.

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after spending the evening at a restaurant downtown, you and your husband, mingyu, walk hand-in-hand into your dimly lit house.

“huh… i guess the kids must be in their rooms right now.” you said to your husband.

all of a sudden you both hear muffled sounds in your guys’ living room.

you and mingyu exchanged knowing looks at each other. “let’s not make them wait any longer, hon. let’s go.” mingyu whispered to you.

chuckling quietly, you nodded in agreement. “let’s go, my dear lord mingyu.”

he cheekily smiled, “right after you, lady (y/n).”

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“shhh! be quiet--i hear them!”

“hurry up, aji!”

“okay... in 3-2-1—!”

“SURPRISE!!!”

both you and mingyu feigned shock and surprise.

your three kids stood in the middle of the living room beaming with joy, feeling satisfied with their surprise celebration. ,. one was holding a cake, another was holding a handmade banner, with ‘you’re the best mom and dad ever!’ written on it, and the other one setting off a confetti wand.

“HAPPY 25TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY MOM AND DAD!!!”

you cooed at the sweet gesture from your kids.

“aww! thank you, my babies. your dad and i appreciate your efforts.”

mingyu initiated a family group hug. “thank you kids.”

giggling, all three of your kids said in unison, “you’re welcome mom and dad!” 

you gave mingyu a side hug after everyone dispersed themselves. the two of you held a warm gaze into each other’s eyes. a sweet and loving smile never leaving both of your faces.

“happy anniversary again, love~”

“happy anniversary again, hon~”

you exchanged kisses.

both of you chuckled at the déjà vu of it all.

but you and mingyu don’t mind celebrating your wedding anniversary again because this time it’s with your whole family.

it was, indeed, a mirthful celebration. 

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“goodnight, gyu.”

“goodnight, (y/n).”

as you lay in your shared bedroom, you begin to reminisce about the beginnings of you and mingyu’s relationship. you softly smiled as you slowly slipped into your dreams.

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“mom… (y/n) and i are going to be parents. (y/n)’s pregnant.”

you were both not ready to be parents. you were 23 and mingyu was 20.

you were in your last year of college, while he was in his second year.

you both were filled with limitless opportunities, but in the eyes of both your parents... it was a different story.

“KIM. MINGYU. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS??!”

mingyu’s mother was a religious woman, a devout believer of god, and an avid churchgoer.

born and raised in the countryside where everyone knew each other, both you and mingyu knew that you were going to be the talk of the town for… a while. 

(with hindsight, it was only years later that you realized how your mother-in-law took the brunt of most of the gossip.)

although mingyu’s mother was strongly opposed to the pregnancy at first, she knew she could do nothing to change the fact that you were pregnant. you were relieved that she wasn’t like those cruel stepmothers portrayed in disney movies—definitely, not. she eventually warmed up to the situation at hand and guided the both of you during your pregnancy.

you and mingyu were set to be married a month before your first child's due date. yes, it was an outdated belief that both your families held back in the day, but it was what was considered acceptable at that time. you married early because of the pregnancy, but you had already decided long before you got pregnant that he was the one. mingyu was the one that's meant to be standing beside you at the altar and the one that you were going to grow old with.

the moment that truly changed mingyu’s mother’s heart was when aji was born. the moment she first laid eyes on your first born baby girl, her eyes were filled with love. 

(she later told you that it was as if she was a first-time mother again.)

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to say that raising a child was hard would be a huge understatement.

you were blessed with three children.

the first born, aji, was the hardest to take care of because you both didn’t know what you were supposed to do. (both of your parents were there to guide you for the most part, but the rest of the work had to come from you and mingyu.) with aji, the both of you were overly protective.

the second child, chi, was less hard to take care of because now both of you had experience but it wasn’t easy. learning from all the mistakes and lessons from your first child, you and mingyu applied all the knowledge you had with chi, and for the most part all of your tactics worked. chi was a very sickly baby when she was born, and so you and your husband worked tirelessly to provide all the necessary medication that your baby needed. with chi, the both of you were protective. 

the youngest, bo, was easier to take care of because you both learned valuable things from the last two. however… the skills and tricks you had learned from raising aji and chi wasn’t really working well with bo because… he was the only boy. so it was like being back to square one again. with bo, the both of you learned to be a little bit carefree.

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your husband was a man of many admirable qualities.

kim mingyu had a strong work ethic.

in the beginning of your guys’ marriage, he would work odd jobs, anything that would pay him. anything that would sustain your growing family.

when you were pregnant with your youngest, it was an unexpected pregnancy (it was déjà vu). you noticed the signs of pregnancy early and confirmed it with a test kit. 

mingyu had a plan, you were skeptical at first but you eventually caved in. he would apply to work abroad and get a permanent residency. the work and money in your guys’ small town did not pay enough for a family of five, so mingyu looked for work outside of your country since they pay much more.

fortunately, he was there when you gave birth to bo and when he took his first steps. 

it was only when bo was about two years old that mingyu left to go abroad.

you had worked on a video call schedule with him so that you and the children would have communication with him. he’d send a few pictures and videos of his life abroad… but it didn’t fill the feeling of longingness for him in your heart. you missed him so much.

raising all three of your children without your husband by your side took a toll on your mental and physical wellbeing. the first year without mingyu was the hardest for you, but you eventually got back on your feet thanks to the support you had from your friends, and his and your family. you knew you had to be strong not only for your husband and children, but also for yourself.

and you maintained your unwavering commitment to being a great mother to your children in the five years that mingyu was gone.

it was only until bo was seven years old that he met his father again. aji was about 15, and chi was 9 years old.

his five years abroad was the longest you two have ever been apart, but it proved to be an incredible testament to the lengths you both would endure just to provide your children with a comfortable life. a life that used to only exist in the movies and dramas that you two would watch before but has now been made possible because of the hard work and sacrifices you and mingyu made.

*

kim mingyu was chivalrous.

it was the simplest gesture of his that you would take notice of: he would hold open doors for you and your children. it was an automatic response from him–you didn’t need to ask him to–he just simply did it. as a father, his gentlemanly actions set the standards and expectations of your children. they especially influence the actions of your youngest son, bo. 

mingyu was someone that’s attentive to the needs of others. an altruistic person.

he’d say to your children, “if you can help, then help.”

your husband isn’t an overly kind person. he knows his boundaries… sometimes. in your viewpoint, at times, he gets a bit into helping others to the point that he fails to recognize that they were only using him for their own selfish reasons. you were his voice of reason and helped him put a limit to his kindness.

*

kim mingyu was a homemaker.

from cooking, driving the kids, vacuuming, mopping, cleaning dishes, folding clothes, mowing, cutting and dyeing the kids’ hair (and your hair)—mingyu was an absolute all rounder around the house. but it’s not like you don’t do your fair share of house chores–you do. the two of you alternate chores every week. it’s a routinized system that the two of you made. 

*

your relationship with your husband isn’t at all perfect, but you know you’re both going to get through it together. in times where you don’t see eye to eye, or say things in the heat of the moment… both of you will silently apologize through actions. 

it’s not like you both can’t verbally apologize to one another… it’s just that the both of you are not used to expressing your emotions. you two didn’t grow up in an environment where emotions were talked about.

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once, mingyu shared a personal story with you.

it was about his father.

he shared how he was distant with his father. mingyu, as a child, hated the way his father would always leave and make his mother cry. his mother always hid away in the bathroom or their "shared" bedroom to shed her tears, away from mingyu, but he heard them. he heard her painful cries every single night. there was never a day where his mother didn't cry herself to sleep.

his father was someone who couldn’t keep his zipper up—a cheater.

his father was what made kim mingyu the man that he is now.

he hated his father. he didn't want to be like him when he grew up. so he made a silent promise to himself that he would never treat the woman that he loved and married like how his father did to his mother.

୨:୧┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·  · ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈୨:୧

the past 25 years of your married life and family life had its ups and downs, of course no relationships are ever picture-perfect, but you try to embrace each other's shortcomings.

after 25 years of being married, you can proudly say that 23 year old you and 20 year old mingyu would be glad to see 48 year old you and 45 year old mingyu still standing strong together. that no matter what life has thrown your way, you've both gotten through those battles  and came out victorious at the end. (some battles may have taken some time to resolve but you both remained by each other's side.)

you and mingyu may not see eye to eye on some things, but you always try to make things work. you try to make compromises with each other. 

your marriage may have started because of unexpected circumstances... but it has led you both to an unpredictably beautiful future.

a future with your three children. a future with you and him. a future with a loving family that you both only wished of when you were younger.

୨:୧┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·  · ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈୨:୧

tears continuously pour down your face as you remember your trip down memory lane last night. you try to quietly wipe your tears and lower your weeping but your repeated attempts at silencing yourself only stirs your husband awake.

he's shifting his body beside you to try and face you. "hon..? are you—"

but before mingyu could see your tear stained face, you quickly buried your face into his bare chest.

"woah. (y/n)—honey—are you okay?" he slightly chuckled in his morning voice.

"m jst gld yr he," your muffled voice softly answered.

"what? i didn't understand what you said. could you repeat it while looking at me... please?"

he knew just how to get you to open up to him.

darn you, kim mingyu!

you gave in to his request.

“i’m just glad you’re here…”

you looked up at him and when you met each other’s eyes, his slowly started going wide with worry. "aww, (y/n)... did you have a bad dream?" he gently brushed your tear stained eyes and cheeks.

you shook your head. "no... it was actually the opposite."

giving him a small smile, you rest your head against his warm toned chest as you begin to share the contents of your dreams.

“i dreamt about us last night. how everything started to how everything is now. it opened my mind to how much we’ve been through all these years. it made me feel more grateful to have you as my life partner and husband.”

tears started to welled up in mingyu’s eyes. his heart overflowing with even more love for you.

"thank you for fighting for us, love. thank you for fighting for me–for fighting for our family. i know many were opposed to us because of the sanctity of our marriage but we proved them wrong by staying true to our vows. i’m so thankful that i have the best husband, partner, and father (to our children)–it’s more than i could ever ask for. i love you.”

with that, mingyu embraced you ever so delicately with his muscular arms, it was as if a gentle giant holding a porcelain vase, afraid you were going to break if he applied too much pressure.

“all the promises that i’ve made to you, on our wedding day and after we were married, will never be in vain (y/n)... i can assure you that. we’ve already been through so much together; we’ve witnessed each other's worst pains and great joys. we work great as a team and i wouldn’t want to experience the rest of my life without you. i want to keep making more great memories with you. i want us to keep being by each other's side. thank you for loving me, even though i’m not perfect.”

“i’m not perfect either gyu. we both are imperfect—but it’s that imperfection of ours that i love so much. we’re not perfect but we are perfectly imperfect for each other to love. we complement each other’s weaknesses with our strengths.”

his hold on you tightened slightly, as if he was afraid you would suddenly disappear. you couldn’t see it, but a single tear rolled down mingyu’s cheek. he wore a bittersweet smile on his face. 

your sentimental words have your husband feeling bashful and so warm inside.

feeling that his throat was closing up soon, he could only muster up the courage to utter one last endearment to you. 

“i love you (y/n)… more than you could ever know… thank you for loving this imperfect me.”

- fin.

[cybershock24601]

I was doing some brainstorming on what the Rookanis kiddos would be like and it's somehow turned into me contemplating how the inevitable crow civil war would go after Lucanis ditches the crows after he has kids.

So I was thinking that when rookanis finally has kids, they end up with a set of twin boys (one is definitely named Ezio) and that ends up bringing up a lot of emotions for Lucanis because its one thing to contemplate how his kid is going to be raised as a crow but it is a whole other to see the very obvious parallel between these two innocent baby boys and himself and Illario. Lucanis just can't stop thinking about his boys growing up the same way he did with Illario and the inevitable resentment and pain that would come with constantly being forced to compete for a title.

When the babies are a couple months old, Lucanis finally tells Rook he thinks they should leave because he cannot raise their children to be crows and Rook is like "thank the maker, I've been thinking we should ditch for months but haven't been sure how to bring it up" and so that night the two of them start planning their exit strategy. They decide to wait until the boys are a bit older because going on the run with two infants seems like a terrible idea and it will give them time to figure out how to best avoid the inevitable reprisal Lucanis will face for leaving because you don't just leave the Antivan Crows without consequence.

Unfortunately those plans are shot when another Talon decides to get rid of these future competitors while they're still in the crib. Thankfully the assassin fails but it spooks rookanis bad. Caterina is ready to go to war for this, but Lucanis isn't willing to risk his family for a stupid title he never even wanted in the first place. He is not Caterina and he isn't willing to sacrifice his own children for power.

Just a couple weeks after the incident, Lucanis, Rook, and their two boys disappear into the night, sneaking out of the same tunnel he and Rook snuck in through the same night Lucanis was appointed First Talon. All that's left behind is two letters from Lucanis, one addressed to Caterina and one left to Illario. Caterina and Illario never discuss the contents of their individual letters but it is clear whatever Lucanis said to Caterina wounded her deeply. Illario can't help but be hurt Lucanis left without a word but bitterly understands why he did because even if they had done a lot of work to repair their relationship, Illario's betrayal was a wound that never fully healed. As much as it hurts, Illario gets why Lucanis wouldn't trust him enough to tell him that he wanted to leave the Crows.

In the wake of the First Talons abrupt abdication, Caterina goes to take up the mantle again but Lucanis' depature was a major blow to House Dellamorte. Caterina is an old woman and has no heir because its not like anyone is going to let Illario take the seat of First Talon after what he did last time he tried to claim it. It is inevitable that the Crows would descend into chaos as they all started jockeying for power. At least the chaos did keep a lot of crows from going after Lucanis and his family as they bounced around from place to place in an odd parallel to how the Hawke family spent their time on the run.

Teia immediately wants to jump in and assist Caterina but Viago convinces her to stay out of it because there is no point. They both know that without Lucanis, House Dellamorte is finished. It is best to sit back and let the other Houses exhaust themselves fighting amongst each other.

The fighting likely lasts for a few years and there are a lot of dead crows and dead Talons by the end of it. Caterina dies too though whether due to old age or she's eventually taken out by another Talon I haven't decided yet because after Lucanis left, something died in Caterina, perhaps because she finally had to face what had become of her family, what she had done to her family but she definitely lost some of the edge that kept her at the top for so long which made her easier prey. Lucanis is has a lot of feelings about his grandmother dying whether its due to not being by her side or he feels responsible for her death if she was killed by another crow, he is left to deal with a lot of confusing emotions mostly rooted in mix of guilt and grief.

By the end of it, Viago manages to swoop in after most of the other houses have exhausted themselves fighting and take the seat of First Talon in a magnificently executed coup. As his closet ally, Teia ends up in the spot of Second Talon and between her idealism and Viago's pragmatism, the Crows do enter a period of reform and start to become the symbol of Antivan patriotism and pride they appear like in Veilguard.

Illario manages to emerge out of the chaos alive and even keeps House Dellamorte intact as he takes the now vacant role of Fifth Talon. It stings that Illario is not First Talon but there is a vicious sense of satisfaction in managing to secure his own spot as a Talon through his own merit because no one can deny that Illario earned his position, that Illario is a good crow.

Meanwhile Lucanis and Rook are vibing as they travel around Thedas for the first few years of their boys' lives before eventually settling in the Necropolis and raising a lot more babies there. Rook is happy to be home because that what the Necropolis is to her and Lucanis misses Treviso and his family and has the occasional thought of what could have been but is happier taking care of his home and raising his children with his loving, amazing wife as Lucanis Ingellvar then he ever was living the life dictated for him from birth as Lucanis Dellamorte. There is an undeniable sense of freedom in shedding the Dellamorte name and becoming someone new as Lucanis finally lives the life he wants for himself.

[ajortga]

competition

pairing: slytherin!toxic!jenna ortega x ravenclaw!fem reader

summary: jenna loves to joke around, you both know it. as she gets braver and braver with her jokes, it comes with a price, eventually hurting you and taking away something you loved most.

warnings: slight angst, teasing remarks, heavy makeout scene, rushed ending, enemies to lovers

word count: 5.2k+

based off request!

-

Jenna criticizes literally everything about R's performance (J's an ass here 😓), while R is actually starting to get really pressured, J would always have something to say, thennn R gets tired of J's bs and begins focusing on themselves more, which would lead to R ignoring J for atleast a month or two, obviously J's pride is awfully. THEN J CONFESSES TO HER FRIEND, (how inlove she is w R and how she misses R sm) WITHOUT KNOWING THAT R IS NEARBY, OVERHEARING EVERYTHING. 😍😍 A DAY AFTER... R JUST TAKES J IN A PRIVATE ROOM AND KISSING TF OUTTA HER.

Slytherin Jenna! x Ravenclaw R!

-

Your test paper gets put on your desk, your teacher murmuring a small, “I expected better, Y/N.”

There was a 65% circled in red and it made you sick to your stomach, you had never gotten a low score before, especially in potions. You knew your concoctions and effects, you swear you had mixed everything perfectly. You groan in frustration, cursing to yourself.

Your hand scrunches, breathing in deeply as you ruffle your hair, now hearing the voice of the person you would rather befriend a frog with and use them first as a sacrifice for a blood sucking demon. 

“How can someone fail a potions exam? You managed to get first place for being the biggest dweeb, messing up the easiest class.” Jenna slightly smirks, teasingly as she approaches you and whispers sharply in your ear, your eyes glaring at her. “It’s impressive you didn’t notice a small switch of potions. All I did was switch the labels of the potions which had the same color and you didn’t even notice.”

Of course she switched up the potions to set you up for failing, “You know how important this is to me.”

“Aw.. I’m so sorry Y/N,” she mocks, “What a pity.” She pouts, “I don’t care.”

You want to smack her in the face, maybe throw that explosive potion you made to melt off her face, but you don’t. At this point you’re thinking of something to get her back, packing your spell books.

“I swear she won’t get off my shoulders, I haven’t done a single damn thing to Ortega.”

Emma laughs, nudging you, “Maybe she just likes teasing someone sweet like you.”

An annoyed exhale leaves your lips, not knowing what she meant by that, “Well she better stop it,” you grab your broom stick. 

Your friend thinks a little, “Just put a small spell on her broomstick! Nothing, you know, to make her hurt, just maybe throw her off balance.”

That interests you, you're trying to think of a sparkle you could just add onto hers. You notice she hasn’t gone to class yet and clearly you can see the large stick hidden between her name. As you approach, your fingers touch the stick, feeling the way your body immediately focuses, then you pull your finger away to go back to Emma. You feel like you shouldn’t, but you don’t feel a single ounce of guilt as a smirk forms when you reach her.

“Come on,” you urge, taking Emma’s hand as you make your way outside with your broom sticks. 

You use your right hand, grabbing it forward as Mrs. Hooch stays on the side, watching. You’ve all gotten the hang of it either way, it’s rare for some people to fall.

“Up!” Emma and you say in unison, seeing your sticks fly up as you smile at each other and hop on, ready for a flight.

You giggle, feeling yourself ascend. 

“Y/L/N,” You hear Jenna’s voice behind you, making your figure turn to face her. You see her stiffen. 

Emma gives you a look, cunning. 

“Ortega,” you greet, not so politely, but not rude nonetheless. 

“I’d challenge you to a racing match, but I do know that your ass is scared that I’ll beat and outrun you in seconds.”

You give out a snarky laugh, “I highly doubt you could even reach me by the time I ascend. I’m better at you than flying, we both know that.”

Jenna does know that, sort of. And she doesn’t want you to prove it, not during flight class while everyone is watching.

“Unless you’ve changed your mind and don’t want to challenge me, niñita,” you respond again, seeing the way Jenna was thinking.

“Then I challenge you,”

“And I accept.”

Emma nudges you, you hear her whisper in your ear, “Well, she’d probably complain, you did sort of spell her broom and she’d notice as soon as she’d get on.”

A grin forms on your lips, tearing your eyes from the tiny Jenna, “Well, I spelled it so that if Jenna were to try anything, cause that’s the bitch she is, the spell would take effect. I’m not entirely making myself win at all. I know for a fact she’d try to make me loose, she doesn’t want to lose at all, well at least to me. I know her long enough to know she’d put a spell to make me lose balance, Em.”

You see Hooch in the corner of your eye, “Plus, Hooch is watching everything, and because I spelled her broom before hand, nothing will happen until she aims some spell at me. Hooch will see that, or at least a little sparkle and chant of words. But she won’t see mine, since I spelled it before, and she’ll just think Jenna lost her balance trying to spell me.”

Emma looks at you, not knowing if you should go on.

“Em! Seriously, Jenna has been making me miserable this year, and I haven’t done anything. This is just a playful harmless thing. It’s the least I can do. I could’ve spawned a rat in her dorm that follows her everywhere!”

“Go, I sort of want to see her fall.”

The grin that disappeared forms again, winking at her as you hop back on your broom.

Then you two are off.

-

You rush through the field, feeling the wind blow through your hair. You loved feeling that cool breeze, it’s unreal, flying is your favorite thing to do.

Jennas not far behind, but far enough to know that you’ll win. 

She groans to herself, watching your pretty, she meant nasty figure speed ahead.

The brunette’s eyes narrow, she wasn’t going to let you win without a fight, she focuses on your broom, she’s close enough to do something. 

The wind is making your hair go crazy, but in a good way. Everyone is waiting their turn from below, watching you race through the course. Fast enough to feel their hair blow from your swiftness.

An exhale pasts her lips, you can see her trying to come closer, or almost urging you to slow down. But you don’t, of course you won’t. You speed faster, dodging an incoming tree and turning a corner.

Jenna feels blood rushing through her ears, murmuring something under her breath as she gets ready to swish through you and laugh.

She begins the spell, feeling her fingertips slightly tingle. But as soon as she’s about to shoot a spark, her hands let go and she sees the blue flying spark stumble towards you. Instead of it hitting your broom and making it shake, your hair flies through the wind and it shoots back at her. 

Jenna yelps, feeling the way her broom starts to shake.

Emma giggles from the sidelines, as soon as you pass the blonde’s figure, you send her a thumbs up and a knowing wink.

God finally.

The brunette loses her balance, feeling the broom shake left and right, she’s clinging onto it tightly, smacks her head on loose branches. She feels herself slow down to regain a steady pace, but as she speeds up again, you’re already gone, swerving a corner.

-

The tiny brunette grumbles from the benches, watching you smile and jump up and down. 

“Impressive play out there, Y/N. You just might be our best flier out there, keep your swift performance and you’ll be on for Quidditch.”

You already knew you’d win, even if Jenna hit your broom with her spell. You’ve won every time racing against the class.

You approach her, giving her a half-hearted smile, you’d take it as a smirk.

“Well, someone tried to cheat.”

You hear her huff, and it makes you giggle, you brush off the stick that is stuck in her hair.

-

“I regret doing that, Em, that tiny tiny 3 foot 1 foot cockroach is making me fall into her traps,” you murmur, stomping your foot.

“At least you got a taste of revenge, Y/N.” 

“I guess so,” you say, sinking into your seat, you feel yourself begin to find her playful and harmless banters to be stressful by every joke and scandal that girl plays.

-

As Quidditch season approaches, Jenna swipes her hair to the side, tying it up as you watch her with narrow eyes. It’s just a regular racing match this time. No ball. Just two talented people against each other.

Well, one more talented than the other, you think to yourself

Hooch brings you two together, in which you stare each other down, your gaze not faltering on each other.

“Goodluck, I wish you two a fair match.”

You two shake hands, though you both won’t admit it was a genuine one. You give Jenna a final glare before gazing back at the field, focusing. 

“Ready?” Hooch says, you don’t respond, just a subtle nod.

“And.. Up!”

You and Jenna shout at your brooms.

“Up!” you command, seeing your favorite item fly up, you jump on it.

Then you both swing off.

Again, not long after, does Hooch see the way your practicing and after school matches with friends are working well. You’re much farther than Jenna is, and again, it’s like no other match. But this time Jenna isn’t going to let you win again.

She growls, casting spells onto your broom and immediately, you feel your broom slow down.

“What the hell.” You mutter to yourself, you dive down. But it seems like your broom isn’t listening.

It’s swishing up and down, left to right, and you steady yourself, but you’re shaking.

You're swinging back and forth and you're losing control, you can’t make your broom stop. It’s not like just a shake of your broom and you lose balance before catching yourself, this time it’s worse. Your broom isn’t listening.

You scream to yourself, not too loud. But Mrs. Hooch can see the way Jenna is catching up, she knows Jenna did something, but it’s not looking good. Sure playful banters were okay. 

But instead of dodging a tree, you smack your head straight into the leafiness, feeling the thorns of the leaves sink and cut beneath your eye. Jenna swishes through you, not looking back. The pain immediately comes through, harsh stings roaring through your skin. You cry out, completely losing balance on your broom, crashing into the tree harshly and feeling your head bang into the wood. 

Jenna still hasn’t noticed the damage she’s caused.

You feel yourself fall.

Farther and farther.

Till your body crashes down on the grassy field, your bones from the fall aren’t helping. You hear the way they crack. And then you feel warm blood trickling down your forehead and down from the cut on your eye. You whimper.

Black spots invade your vision and you feel carsick. But you know you’re not in a car.

Your eyes flutter, making a soft groan as Emma approaches you. You can barely see her worried face but you know she’s scared.

“Y/N, can you hear me?” She says, it’s muffled. You don’t respond, her figure is blurry, you can barely see her blue eyes.

Before you can even think of a response, your eyes shut.

And as Jenna reaches the finish line, she just turns around, to notice you at least tens of feet below from her, collapsed on the ground and curled up. She can’t help but feel a gasp fall from her lips, diving down and getting off her broom stick.

She didn’t mean for it to get this chaotic, she was just hoping you’d crash into a branch and get all angry and fussy. Not get hurt. As she approaches closer, she sees blood trickling down your face as your chest heaves up and down. Emma looks at you, worriedly as everyone surrounds you two.

Jenna feels something that she doesn’t want to admit, she feels guilty for hurting you. You had barely done anything to her, but she’s messed with you countless times, you’ve gotten in trouble for it.

And you never ratted her out. The one time you decide to get her back, she’s taken things too far.

“God,” she murmurs, her voice betraying her as she pushes through the crowds of people, “Is she okay?”

The way her friend turns to her, your best friend looks like she’s about to explode, “Does she look okay? DOES SHE LOOK OKAY JENNA? What the hell were you thinking?” the blonde says the last part half aloud, where only Ortega can hear.

“I didn’t think she’d get hurt!” Jenna retorts, kneeling down and putting her hesitant hand over your chest, feeling the way it was beating quickly, chest going up and down, up down.

Immediately nurses come and drag you out, Emma following you as they take you to the infirmary. 

Jenna feels herself following too, until Hooch catches up with her.

“Ortega!” Her voice is loud, screeching as she pulls Jenna off to the side, “what on earth do you think you were doing? You’ve gotten Y/N seriously hurt because of a stupid practice match! Don’t think I didn’t catch the lame spell you’ve cast.” her eyes are wild, angry, “You know we don’t allow spells on the battlefield, I know some of Hogwarts students have broken it, but it’s never been so severe, you’ve hurt her tremendously. She’s bleeding, and I think she’ll suffer some sprains.”

Jenna nods, she understands. Sort of. She wants to understand, she knows what she did was bad. Hooch takes a deep breath, “I’m disappointed with you.”

“Unfortunately, I don’t know if Y/N will heal in three months, she’s been our best and fastest player, with quick decisions and speedy moves. She might have to sit out on Quidditch, I was looking forward to taking the trophy this season. And I would disqualify you, send you to detention after school everyday till she properly heals,” Hooch takes a deep breath, “But you have to be one of our players because you have the ability to. That doesn’t mean that you won’t get detention. I’ll even ask Dumbledore to exclude you from house games.

God, Jenna didn’t mean to make you be kicked out this season. She knew how much you wanted it. She can’t help but feel guilty.

Hooch’s voice once again speaks up, “And I expect you to apologize and pay her a visit. You two have never gotten along, but I know you both care about each other. Even if it’s slight.”

A soft nod leaves her, her eyes lingering on your small figure that is now being taken to surgery. Maybe she’ll slow down with the pranks.

-

As soon as visitors are allowed in, Jenna begins to stand up and approach your door.

“Ortega, what the hell do you think you’re doing? Don’t open that door,” it’s Emma's voice, but this time she sounds much more angry. Unlike the voice the brunette is used to hearing.

The way Jenna stands there, Emma narrows her eyes, “You’ve already hurt her, what more can you need? Unplug the oxygen tank and start laughing your stubborn ass up? I don’t think so.” 

She was taken by surprise, the fact that both you and Emma have gotten used to her tricks, she feels herself biting her lip.

“N-no.. No, not anything like that. I just wanted to apologize. I know my tricks have gone a bit farther than expected.”

Emma approaches her, pressing her finger to Jenna’s chest, “You’ve hurt her more than enough, and I can see it. She’s done nothing to you! Nothing!” your best friend growls, and Jenna backs up.

“You just don’t understand how much you’ve pressured her! Because you’re too busy standing there like the spoiled person you are on your banters.”

Jenna smacks her hands off, raising both of her hands to show she’s ‘surrendering,’ “I know, I know Em! Just let me apologize.”

“Not when she’s just about to wake up, you wouldn’t want the least expected person who hurt you to show up as soon as you wake up. Give her time,” the blonde grumbles, shushing her back to her seat as she enters your room. Jenna stands up again, noticing you're still unconscious.

Emma can feel her presence, and decides not to turn back as she sits on the chair next to you. Your face lost its color. None of the pink shade that tinted your cheeks when Jenna teased you. The pink shade that she wanted to see was gone, replaced by a pale, tired face, sound asleep. 

There were cuts all over you, she saw some bruises and there was a big bandage wrapped around your right cheek. She also saw a deep cut that was gauzed up in your arm. She winced. A few broken bones maybe.

She didn’t know it was this bad. The only noise was Emma’s sniffles, and the small beep of your heartbeat’s monitor. Jenna sighs, scooting closer and hesitantly bringing her hand close to your face. She felt like if she were to touch you, you would turn into dust. 

Her hand gently traces your fast, your nose slightly twitches, but she knows you’re too weak to move or wake up. Then she brushes through your hair, it’s weird beginning to see all the times she’s treated you wrongly as something she shouldn’t have done. Each trick got worse than the other, more risky of being harmed. And now look at you, all broken and bruised.

I didn’t mean it, Jenna thinks, looking down at your tiny figure.

I really didn’t mean it.

-

Your eyes flutter closed, and immediately you close them again, groaning from the whitest most lightest light you’ve ever encountered, covering yourself with a blanket. As soon as you move, you moan softly in pain, feeling pain roar through your body.

“Stay still,” you hear a familiar voice say, you can’t lend your finger on it. It sounds pretty, and before you can process it your brain switches that thought off. It’s your annoying rival that casted a spell that got you here in the first place. Jenna stupid Ortega.

You grunt, looking up at her, you feel bandages around you, avoiding contact with the brunette.

“Emma should be back soon, she was getting some flowers for you.”

“Good, then you can leave.”

Harsh.

You hear the way Jenna sighs, and you shake it off, turning slightly so you can face the entertaining wall instead of her.

“Look Y/N, I’m sorry.”

..

“Please, can’t you see I’m apologizing?”

“No, Jenna. You knew I didn’t like these things you did to me before. And you decide to apologize now? Do you think it’s going to make me forgive you just like that?” You say, turning back at her, a storm brews behind your eyes.

“I can’t participate in the one thing I was looking forward to this season! Just because you put this spell that you knew could harm me badly! You knew I wanted to be in Quidditch!” Jenna winces at your increasing voice.

“You could’ve been on the team too! It’s not just one of us! But you got your actions in the way before you could even think! And now you want to apologize?” It's loud, your voice begins to falter a little. Your shoulders untense, and Jenna can hear the monitor of your heart increase by four times, she shushes you, pulling you onto your back.

“Stop,” she says, her voice is too soft for your liking, you can’t think. Too much is going on in your mind, “Please.”

“Get out Jenna.”

“W-what? You don’t understand.. I’m trying to-”

“Jenna, get the hell out!” You snap, your eyes filled to the max with unshed tears.

You stay silent, before cracking out a tiny, “Please.”

And like that, Jenna walks out of the room, murmuring an “I’m sorry.”

Just this time, she really wanted you to know that she meant it.

-

It’s been a month, and by now your arm was barely healing, and there was a stupid ugly mark of a cut on your face. The pain was harsh, if your arm didn’t heal by the time Quidditch began, all your practice and effort would flush down the drain. It scared you.

As bad as the pain got, your mark would probably never fade, there would always be a purple cut marked under your eye. Even once it’s completely healed, ones that meet you will notice your cut, in a lighter shade than your actual skin tone. It made you cry every night, silently. 

It was stupid to cry over, your deep bruises weren’t even close to healing. Every time you would accidentally press into it, you’d shriek in pain. You felt insecure of yourself. It didn’t feel good, every time you’d look at yourself in the mirror there would be your healing cuts scarred over your body. 

“It looks s-so ugly..” You hiccup, looking at yourself in the mirror, Emma by your side as she shakes her head, “Nonsense, it’s okay.”

“It might never go away.” 

“And that’s okay, when you're older, you’ll find it silly, I promise. It’s a reminder of being here, and to remind you that competition is less superior when it comes to safety.”

You can’t help but feel yourself shrink, watching the scar on your face haunt you.

-

Jenna sees you in the hallways, you're in half her classes. But every single time she looks at you, you’re never looking her way. Not like before. Not when exam scores are passed out during Snape or McGonagall when you usually turn around and she waves her high score in the air, but you always wave yours back, grinning happily when you got one percent higher than her. She found you annoying, but now she feels like she’s taken you for granted. You were the one who taught her how to properly care for her plant in Herbology, although most of the time she’s retained information from the random songs and joking nerdy remarks. 

Jenna hated sitting next to you in that class, she loved teasing you and making you explode from frustration. She hated the way you looked at her and had the ability to somehow use some Hogwarts nonsense to make her think back at your smile. 

It was something you did to her, it couldn’t have been herself, she’d never be thinking of your smile or you in general. You must’ve casted a spell on her.

Yet she remembers that she’s thinking about you right now. 

Anyways, she hated the way you smirked at her and kept kicking your feet to hers, then growing some mushroom on her damn shoe.

“What the fuck Y/N? Why is there a green toadstool on my fucking foot?” She says, angrily as you laugh and fall out of your seat. She tries shaking off the small mushroom with her foot, but then it makes it grow even bigger.

And by the end of the day there is a 20 foot mushroom on her shoe, shading her as she walks home, heading straight for the knife to cut it off. 

The thought made her smile a bit. She didn’t want to admit it, she didn’t know how you did it. Or maybe when she kept tapping her pen to purposely annoy you, then when you snapped, light blue sparkles flew out of your mouth and made your voice sound wonky.

Now, you barely looked at her. For the entirety of when you were gone, you had to catch up. She felt a little relieved, you could finally talk to her by asking for notes. Didn’t want to admit the pit in her chest when you asked the person behind you.

I’m sorry, Jenna thinks, she wants to scream at you and apologize until you forgive her.

You ignored her, and she knew she deserved it. She treated you so wrongly. Sure she knew you never mind those moments she looked back to, but she knew that she grew more and more brave with her pranks, growing less and less cautious of even thinking of your safety and feelings.

She hates seeing that look in your eyes as everyone in Hooch’s class shouts, “Up!” with excitement, and you sit there, alone on the bleachers as you watch. 

As you watch your whole class fly off, Emma giving you a small, concerned look, and a tight-lipped, forceful smile forms on your lips, assuring you were fine.

She hates the way she can remember the smile leaving your lips as Emma leaves off for the race, then looking down with melancholy traced in your features.

I’m sorry.

The shorter brunette can’t stand the way you look at everyone fly off, knowing that someone that you know won’t be you will probably take your place in Quidditch. She can see it in your eyes, kicking the dirt, hoping that somehow you can kick the pain and broken limbs away.

This time, she can’t tear your eyes away from your tiny figure.

Yet she knows that you won’t even look at her, never noticing the sympathetic stares she gives you, replaced with the ones once filled with competition.

-

Emma’s voice is dull, almost like she doesn’t want to talk to Jenna after the incident.

“You’re seriously asking me to have Y/N talk to you?” she questions, looking at her with suspicion.

“Please, Em! It’s been a month, and I’ve been trying to apologize.”

The blonde crosses her arms, trying to defend you, “Well what if she doesn’t want to talk to you or apologize?”

“I don’t care!” Jenna throws her arms in the air, “I know what I did was wrong and if I’m being honest, class is getting boring without having her competition and silly remarks behind my back.”

Jenna freezes, what she says kind of sounds weird.

Emma hums, then she turns to Jenna, “So, what are you saying Jenna?”

“I care about her!” She groans, rubbing her cheeks, “I’m starting to think that I’ve cared about her since I met her but didn’t know till my actions got her hurt. I was going to apologize but now I’m shitting desperate. She won’t get out of my mind and.. I don’t know!”

Jenna groans, trying to think of what this was, “I just keep thinking about the things she doesn’t do anymore, and it’s sad not having her by my side. I feel guilty. And I need to apologize even more so she can get out of my head! Em, please, I can’t get that stupid silly cute smile out of my head. And I can’t damn focus knowing that the girl that sits next to me in McGonagall is full on avoiding me!”

She doesn’t realize the way she’s been rambling, she looks at Emma, whose face expression has changed. In some way, she’s slightly having a grin on her face, “You’re in love with her.”

“What? I don’t know! Maybe, I just-I feel bad, and I want to apologize and make it okay again. It’s just so dull and I’ll.. I don’t even fucking know. I just miss her and the way it used to be.”

“You should’ve told me that,” your soft voice sing-songs from behind her, making her tense up and turn around.

“Y/N,” Jenna stutters.

“Jenna,” you mumble, voice slightly breathy.

“I didn’t think you were-” she squeals in surprise as you drag her by the arm, panting softly as you drag her into a room, god who knows what Hogwarts classroom this is.

“Look Y/N, I’m sorry, but why are we in someones-mmph.” You seal her lips with a random spell under your lips and you place your finger to her mouth. 

You slightly smirk, god she missed it, she looks down at your lips, she rolls her eyes, “Apologize to me and I’ll let you do what you’ve wanted to do.” You undo your spell, taking off your finger from her mouth as she begins to speak.

“Wha?-”

“Go on.”

You were teasing her, and she breathed, “Okay, I’m sorry. For hurting you, I know I went too far,” she was rambling as she speaks a little faster, “I didn’t mean to hurt you, I just felt more brave as much as I teased you and I know I went too far this time. And I promise I didn’t try to hurt you, I know how much Quidditch meant to you..” she gulps again, taking a breath. “What I did led to a lot of things, and I’ve noticed the way I grew upset when I knew you began to avoid me, and I’ll admit I miss you.” Jenna says the last part hesitantly.

The brunette looked up at you and you were looking at her, hesitant eyes, but almost filled with need? She now noticed the more visible cut on your eye, and you look away, seeing her gaze on the mark you were most insecure on, you cover your face.

“Stop that,” Jenna smacks your hands away and it feels like her hesitation swept away, she slowly reached up to cup your cheeks, in which your uncertainty melted. She looks at the mark, it was better than when she saw you unconscious on the floor. That’s all that matters. She wants to roll her eyes but now she feels weird when she does that.

“Does it hurt?”

You shake your head, “Just a little.”

"I'm sorry about Quidditch."

"I'm still angry about that, my arm should heal soon though, before it starts."

.. An awkward silence passes, then you look down at her pink lips.

Jenna hums, then you tug her closer, making a small whine.

“Please kiss me.”

Jenna’s eyes widen, taking her hands away from your cheeks.

“What?”

“Please,” you plead, your eyes filled with want.

Her eyes flicker from your lips as she cups your cheeks again and brings you to her mouth. As they meet, you’re all small and soft moans, kissing her with need. Hunger. It’s different. Teasing you doesn’t come with words, she’s teasing you with her mouth, feeling the way you grip onto her. 

More more more, don’t stop.

You taste exactly how Jenna thought you would, but just so much better. So addicting, it makes her mind spin with you. Coca cola and addictive vanilla. It mixes well with the taste of hers, you let her capture your tongue. It’s feverish, tongue and want combined. She indulges in the way you make a tiny moan as she nibbles your tongue. Your wanting lips push harder to hers, your body pressing against her as you slightly find something to grind against.

It’s heated and different. She tugs you closer, finding it adorable as you pull away for a tiny breath, then continue, like you don’t want to stop feeling her lips on yours. Her hands. Your fingers tugging against her hair.

Long moments after you pull away, you both are panting, your head buried deep into her chest. She rubs your hair.

“I didn’t think you were that experienced,” you whisper.

She rolls her eyes, pressing her lips to your forehead, “I didn’t think you’d pull me into a room and start begging me to kiss you and make out with you.”

“Mm..”

“Well, did my kisses grant your forgiveness for me?

“Maybe.”

“What if I give you another round?”

She smirks, seeing the way you lean back into her.

“Deal.”

She presses her lips that just left yours once again, feeling your hands tangle back into her hair.

[transusopp]

usopp, sanji, and robin and how their relationships to abandonment, insecurity, trauma, pain, reunion , love, and devotion make one piece beautiful. and in turn, how their bonds make the sunny a wonderful place to call home

(word count: 6k words. WAY more under the cut. get ready for a needlessly long one)

one piece, of course, is famously about friendship and liberation. every single animanga canon arc from romance dawn to elbaf have been repeated demonstrations of the themes of devotion to morals, causes, ideals, people, wishes, and dreams.

however, one piece also touches on another extremely important side of this hypothetical coin of love and devotion. it touches on selfishness, attempts at self sacrifice and distance to spare others trouble. as well as to, subconsciously, spare oneself the trouble of seeing people one loves get severely hurt or weighed down by your actions, or inaction, or peril, or otherwise… unworthiness. to be alive, to have their respect, to be in their graces, to be loved. and how, despite how the circumstances these feelings show themselves in the story are often strikingly different, they are all meant to be a reflection of the other, a thematic and narrative parallel of how and why love is shown.

of course, in arlong park, we see our first member leave the crew. but nami’s storyline in arlong park has a little less to due with her personal insecurities, and a lot more to do with her trauma and general fear.

while absolutely interesting in its own right for analysis (and i might have to come back and write something about franky in w7 and nami in arlong park sometime), arlong park isn’t one of the arcs i’ll be touching upon here.

the main arcs that i am interested in discussing today are water 7, enies lobby (& post-enies lobby), and whole cake island. in addition, we are going to be dividing the parallels into three sections. one for parallels between enies lobby and whole cake island, one for water 7 and whole cake island, then the last for water 7 and enies lobby. they will also be categorized by what i personally find to be the most striking means of delivering the similar themes each arc shares.

robin and sanji’s hope instilled by a personal savior

(enies lobby and whole cake island spoken/written parallels)

when robin escaped the buster call on o’hara when she was 8 years old, she was told by saul, who rescued her from certain death that she would be “alone for now, but [she]'ll definitely meet friends who will protect her!!"

when sanji escaped germa when he was 8 years old, he was told by reiju, who guided him to safety from a life of abuse that "the sea is broad, [he]’ll definitely meet some kind people one day!"

both of these statements carry the same weight, and the same implication. the people who loved robin and sanji, were convinced that one day, they wouldn’t be the only ones who’d carry the title of their loved ones anymore. of course, worded differently to reflect their specific circumstances (which will end up a recurring theme here), but the idea remains intact out of both reiju and saul’s mouths.

see, this is where our analysis becomes the most interesting to me. we read reiju tell sanji he’ll find “kind people,” and read saul tell robin she’ll find “friends.” what does this mean in their personal contexts?

sanji had already known kindness, sora was the most overtly kind to him in a cruel world ruled by an iron fisted patriach, but she’d been dead for a while at this point. reiju wanted to make him believe, she wanted to remind him, that kind people still existed. it wasn’t just sora, with so many people on the planet, he’d find people like sora again! and that, of course he did. we see it happen exactly in whole cake island, where luffy smiles eating sanji’s cold, stepped on, wet bento he’d made (accidentally with the crew in mind), exactly like sora would’ve. an obvious visual representation of the hope that reiju not only instilled in sanji, but what she herself hoped would happen for him, and how their hope became a truth.

robin had already known friendship. sanji knew familial love through sora, but robin had known friendship, more notably. all her friends and loved ones died in the buster call. she lived and they (mostly) didn’t. saul wants her to never forget she would know friendship which would save her life again. she spent so many years alone and in her own head, in the unwelcoming houses’ of strangers, in persecution. the next time we see robin involved in a buster call, not only does she live, but she proclaims she wants to do so. this time, she’s not a scared lonely 8 year girl watching a bloodbath with no one by her side and powerless to stop it. she has her friends.

actually, the spoken parallels do not end there. luffy’s own dialogue in their times of devastating emotional turmoil in which they make excuses as to why they have no interest in, why they can’t, return to the straw hats, is, too a spoken parallel.

luffy shouts to sanji “tell me how you really feel!”

luffy shouts to robin “say it! say you want to live!”

another two pieces of dialogue which are actually nearly identical in sentiment, but take on completely different wording due to the circumstances. sanji, during the events of whole cake island and in his childhood in germa, was never allowed to feel anything. or, at the very least, he was expected to behave like he never had and never would. so, luffy’s act of radical love was to allow sanji the opening to do what he had never been permitted to do as a child. he left sanji to state his own feelings. which, of course, were the culmination of the emotional moments of the arc for many. sanji wanted to return home, with the straw hats, on the sunny.

translation note: in japanese, sanji uses the verb "kaeru" which does, in fact, mean "to return [home]," this is the official translation from shounen jump, but its not the one widely accepted by the general one piece translation community, i believe.

in contrast to allowing sanji an opening by asking him a question, he leaves robin an opening by making a demand. she truly could have said she wanted to die again, that she had no interest in living, that the straw hats could’ve left her there. but she remembers what saul told her. she remembers the hope to find friends. and thus, in turn, she thinks maybe… just maybe, this time it will be okay to agree, to follow along, to trust someone after years and years of hatred and despair. she screams her heartbreaking wish that she wants to live! she wants the straw hats to take her away from the site which became a buster call location. 

in her remembering of saul’s hope, and trust in the world, despite it all,  robin finds her own hope and trust in her world, her friends, shining through. in his remembering of reiju’s genuine conviction, sanji finally allows himself to express his true, open, genuine raw emotion, right on his sleeve, to the people who actually valued it.

yet another point to be made about dialogue and parallels brings us to the attention of sanji and robin’s (at the time) living parents' lack of desire to disclose a mother-daughter and father-son relationship.

when robin tries to leave o’hara, she infamously cries to her mother if she knows her, if she remembers her?! olvia doesn’t even turn around, and informs robin that she must be mistaking her for someone else

as viewers, we can see olvia’s thoughts and intentions. she is thinking to herself that she doesn’t want robin associated with her to avoid robin’s incoming death if she were to do so. 

however, that is how we as viewers read it. to a little 8 year old nico robin, all she hears is that her mom doesn’t want to remember her, or maybe doesn’t care for her at all. we see this on the proceeding pages where robin begs olvia for her acknowledgment as olvia’s daughter. she sobs that she knows she's grown up, but it's still her! it's her, its robin!

there is, of course, a twisted version of a scene similar that occurs in whole cake island between sanji and judge, shown to us during the flashback of sanjis childhood. as 8 year old sanji is running out of the dungeon to scramble to leave, judge is the one who catches him running upstairs to freedom after reiju let him go.

sanji fully anticipates some kind of resistance, going so far as to have a small blade prepared to possibly fight, but judge has no qualms about letting sanji leave germa. as a matter of fact, he is quite mockingly thankful, reminding sanji, as always, that he sees the kid as nothing more than a blemish on an accomplished scientific career and reputation.

his only condition to give sanji the key to the psychological and physical trap on his head is for sanji to never tell anyone that judge is his father. he’s embarrassed of his child.

it is noteworthy here that this is the only time, in the entirety of whole cake island from past to present, that we ever see judge refer to sanji as his son behind closed doors. 

he is doing the inverse of what olvia did for robin. olvia’s goal was to save robin and the only way she knew how to do so was to outright deny her motherhood of her. she made her own public stand against being robin's mother, for a noble cause, but she still denied it. yet she denied it herself. she never made robin do it for her.

judge’s only goal, on the other hand, was to save some face and maybe a bit of reputation, he makes sanji not say he’s his dad. if sanji had asked judge publicly if he was his dad, like robin asked olvia, from all we can gather and understand from judge’s public relationship to sanji, he would’ve said yes, of course he was. despite this, he didn’t even value sanji’s life enough to consider his disdain for him to even slightly tarnish his public reputation, so of course the only logical thing he could think to do was to make sanji do all the dirty work for him.

an archeologist saving her daughters life by denying their history herself, and the king of a fascist empire making his son save him some ego by forcing him to denying theirs for him... its an oddly fitting in-text commentary on some of the most common themes of the series as a whole, isn’t it?

possibly one of the most interesting and valuable moments in robin and sanji’s character arcs post-whole cake island and far, far past enies lobby, is sanji begging for robin’s help in wano. he asks her to help him!

this does two things for their characters and actions, and how they evolve and change and grow as people. how to be loved is to be changed, fundamentally.

the first is that this is one of, if not the only, time we see sanji ask for anyone’s help. the fact it is a woman’s help, who he always treated like and believed he needed to be the protector and savior of, tells us so much about what this means for him. this is life or death, he asks robin to help him because he trusts her.

on robin’s end, it's less explicit, and this is more a personal reading of the arc. but, how would she have felt being asked to help someone? again, recall that robin was mistreated and not trusted by anyone until she met the straw hats. people notoriously thought she was a traitor for trying to survive, that she had no ideals or semblance of morals. so, for anyone, especially someone who has never asked for help, to trust her enough to plead for her assistance, had to have impacted her deeply.

both of them thought all these actions were completely and utterly selfish, so they took the route they believed to be noble. they chose self-sacrifice. but the true selfless action, as luffy made them realize, would be to allow others to help them when they needed it, and make them feel appreciated and wanted. the true selfless action would be to allow their friends to help so they could all continue to enjoy each other's company.

usopp and sanji’s trials in the cold

(water 7 and whole cake island visual parallels)

whole cake island has some of my personal favorite and visually and narratively interesting manga panels in the entire series. and water 7, another parallel of whole cake island, the same as enies lobby, has so many visual parallels to whole cake island.

first, let’s discuss the obvious, the gloomy weather. usopp and luffy infamously dueled in dark, foggy weather, and sanji infamously told luffy he wanted to come back in the rain.

this is extremely interesting to me. these two scenes are some of the most striking, visually, and noteworthy times we see rainy and/or wet weather be associated with sadness or despair in one piece. usopp cried and sat on the ground in the fog, after a performative fight to leave the crew, while sanji sat in the rain while giving performative excuses as to why he can’t join back. sanji ultimately ends up confessing what he really wants in the rain, but usopp doesn’t get that closure here.

to usopp and his narrative, the fog and wet of the night is associated with performative, frustrating, “fights” that no one wanted to see, but with associated genuine feelings of upset anger. to sanji and his narrative, the rain is associated with performative arguments, and ends in genuine feelings of upset, angry, and deeply sad and yearning feelings.

the weather is not their only notable visual parallels here. another is their fights with their captain, their fights with luffy.

usopp’s fight was clean, more evenly matched. luffy directly consented to it, he agreed to usopp’s challenge to a duel. however, sanji’s fight with luffy was less of a fight and more of a physical attack. luffy didn’t fight back, he took the hit and made his decision, right then and there.

of course, there is more to be said here. in particular, during sanji’s emotional betrayal to his own feelings. he and usopp are actually extremely similar in their actions, but with different stakes. 

chopper, after trying to help usopp, comes back crying to nami that usopp told him they weren’t crewmates anymore, and that chopper needed to leave him alone and go back to the ship, with the crew.

when sanji starts fighting the sanji retrieval team, nami asks him what the hell gives? sanji answers her question with a demand. sanji demands the crew to leave him alone, that they’re beneath him as pirates. this is a statement he has no belief in, which of course we all know. however, sanji’s eyes in this panel specifically look dead. he looks like he’s out of it, like he’s trying so hard to look like he believes it despite the fact he does not at all.

while not exactly a whole cake island specific parallel, the important proceeding context is, and it gives contextual visual comparison, so i will humor it here, somewhat briefly (as i’ve spoken about sanjis part of this in this post)

sanji and usopp, notably for our purposes, share two distinct visual character poses. touching upon sanji’s first, he bows deeply to zeff, to his father, and thanks him for taking care of him for so many years. of course, this scene is bittersweet and emotional during baratie, but the knowledge we receive in whole cake island makes it all the more painful and moving. he makes a final statement of the true nature of his and zeff’s relationship, right then and there.

in juxtaposition, when sanji iconically pulls down judge by the tie of his cape, to be able to look each other eye to eye, he denounced their relationship. he yelled that judge was not his father! so intensely that we see him sweating and breathing heavily after the declaration. due to the nature of their literal, physical height difference, but more importantly, how sanji felt judge’s eyes always looked at him with shame.

usopp, too, had a moment of shirt pulling. however, his moment of shirt pulling was a reflection of tragedy and insecurity.

it is made clear in water 7 that usopp believed his role on the crew was somehow inherently tied to the going merry. he makes it obvious by continuously speaking of how he repaired her. he loved her, she was their crewmate. how dare they let her go.

so, when faced with the reality that the merry’s beyond repair, that she needed to be let go even if she was their friend and loved her…

…who’d they let go next? this is the core question which is often neglected and disregarded in this argument. he quite literally states it, if they’re abandoning weak crewmates, naturally he has to go too.

during their heated argument, there is a moment where we see usopp try to pull luffy down by his shirt as well. despite the fact they are the exact same height, and have been looking at each other at the eye level for months at this point, usopp feels as luffy is looking down upon him. he feels the need to bring down his captain, who he idolized and admired, down to look at him. 

in contrast, at the end of post-enies lobby, when usopp apologizes to luffy and the crew (which is a conclusion i have personal opinions on as a writing choice, but i digress) he too is seen deeply bowing. he is sobbing his eyes out while groveling to luffy and the crew to apologize for being mean, for being stubborn. inadvertently, he is also thanking them for letting him on the crew despite all of this. he hopes he would be able to come back. he wants his crews desire to welcome him back. he longs for their desire to love him.

at the end of the day, thats what both he and sanji desire from their scenes, the freedom to be loved, and the desire for people to want to love them. sanji grovels to zeff because zeff wanted him, he wanted to love him, he made sanji feel important when he’s felt like a sad waste of a human being for his entire life. zeff’s kindness, sanji feels, is what allowed him to survive and join the straw hats, who’d come to be his best friends. and of course, sanji’s scene with judge is another demonstration of respect toward his father, toward zeff. he’s thanking zeff for raising him and instilling true morals in him.

usopp grovels to the crew to show his sorrows and regrets about his actions and how what he did was wrong, disrespectful. he sobs his apology, and of course luffy immediately forgives him. yet, he pulled down luffy’s shirt to make them look eye to eye, even if they’d done that this entire time. he wanted his desire to be respected taken seriously. but more importantly, he wanted his desire for love to be taken seriously, even if unspoken directly in the text.

lastly for this section, there are two panels from sanji’s performative fight in whole cake island, and of course two parallel panels in water 7, i’d like to point out as interesting.

the first, is luffy’s face getting hit by two things associated with heat. rendering him briefly unable to fight back. usopp’s hit is much less deadly, of course, but the parallel stands. sanji kicking luffy in the face with his leg on fire, and usopp getting luffy in the mouth with the deluxe pepper sauce star, could be understood as two different means to the same end. they didn’t want luffy to win, they didn’t want him to fight back, they were trying to achieve a goal to prove they weren’t respectable or worthy. they were trying to fulfill a prophecy they’d created.

the second, is the parallel image of usopp and luffy’s battle, and yonji’s comment to sanji about luffy becoming hunted down.

usopp tells luffy he has an army of 8,000, a classic and signature lie of his. it’s an intimidation tactic usually, but here it’s a distraction. he’s trying to distract luffy as a part of the strategy to beat him. however, sanji doesn’t lie to luffy about power in numbers, he simply lies to him about his opinion of pirates and those who the vinsmokes believe are beneath them.

so, when yonji informs sanji that there is an obscene crew of people going to find luffy, its disturbing to sanji and the reader. it’s like usopp’s lie come true, but its flipped on sanji, with the crew of people finding luffy having full intention of killing him.

so, what do the panels here tell us? in water 7, we see luffy and usopp in extremely similar panel sizes, directly next to each other. however, when yonji informs sanji of the team whos going out to kill luffy, we notably see both of them at the top of the page. however, the page focus is not on them. its on the team whos trying to go out. 

usopp believed in luffy so deeply and they were (are) such fantastic friends, that even in their fight they are, more often than not, framed as equals. in contrast, yonji believed in luffy so little, and sanji had pretended to believe in luffy so little, that the panel shows us them at the top, despite not being the focus of the page. why would they get their hands dirty dealing with straw hat, right? they’re royalty, they’ll leave the simple bloodshed to the people beneath them, literally here.

sanji and usopp held beliefs about themselves, their role on the crew, their usefulness, and how they didn’t belong. they did everything in their power to make everyone believe they didn’t deserve to be with their friends in fear of being a burden or easy target. and, throughout both arcs, for a while, this seemed to have worked.

monkey d luffy, despite all his idiocy and recklessness, is a guy full of compassion and emotional intelligence. their lies appeared to have lasted, but luffy had no intentions to allow their prophecy to be condemned to a regretful life of sorrow to be fulfilled.

they thought regaining their invitation to the crew would be selfish, so they chose to lie and leave so no one would miss them when they were gone

however, they didn’t realize that their invitation to luffy’s friendship was never revoked.

robin and usopp's cowardly “facing of the facts,” and their brave acceptance of truth

(enies lobby and water 7 parallel timeline occurrence, and what it meant for robin, usopp, luffy, and the crew)

of all the so-called straw hat “desertion” or “betrayal” arcs, it is noteworthy that enies lobby is the only one piece arc where two straw hats abandon the crew simultaneously. in fact, it is so important to the crew and the story, nami herself points it out. she feels like the crews falling apart, she quite literally says this exact sentiment in the text.

this idea is shown to be shared at least among chopper and sanji, who have vastly different approaches. chopper, of course, is sincere and shows genuine outward deep care for usopp. the rest of the crew does as well, but sanji’s hardass mentality about it is clearly disregarded when his friend is at his lowest and no one is helping him.

in any case, the entire crew (usopp included) were deeply concerned about robin’s whereabouts and status. we come to know as readers exactly whats happened to her and what shes about to experience, but for right then, the straw hats were in the dark themselves.

robin and usopp’s narratives come down to be only truly different by the stakes involved. they had the exact same motivation, they wanted to rid the crew of dead weight, they wanted to rid the crew of targets on their backs. they have a selfish desire to avoid seeing their friend suffer, even if they want to help, even if others are helping them to settle things cleanly. robin and usopp wanted something weird and messy to leave behind, so they were never welcome back, even if that wasn’’t their true wish.

the moment on the sea train where usopp is badly injured and  dripping blood onto the ground, and speaks to robin, is one of the most important sogeking scenes in enies lobby. usopp briefly stands from the ground and reminds robin to believe in luffy.

usopp, as we know, didn’t seem to believe in luffy during their argument. he didn’t believe in himself, but he projected that belief onto his relationship with luffy.  

robin really didn’t believe in luffy. she had no desire for him to come rescue her, she thought she was a lost cause, an evil and despicable woman beyond saving. she’d been told this constantly from the day she’d escaped the buster call to when she joined baroqueworks, but more importantly when she joined their crew. her crew, a crew which loved and appreciated her and wanted her back as their friend. she wasn’t just a tool for them to use, she was a friend who they valued.

therefore, when usopp of all crewmates, comes to inform her that luffy needed to be trusted in, that he would come save her, because no pirate is permitted to desert their crew without their captains permission. she must hold hope in her heart that crews love for her was never withdrawn. even as he informs her of this, she simply turns around and walks away. its a sentiment she should not believe, cannot believe, because it would mean she’d have to come to terms with the fact she was loved.

we’d seen usopp do this in water 7, obviously. in robin’s absence, usopp deserted the straw hats. yet, he’d come back for robin too. why? why would usopp come back to the crew to save a member, despite the fact he felt disrespected and inferior to them?

it was an act of revolutionary devotion. it was a demonstration of true love for his friends. he never stopped caring about them, and they never stopped caring about him. even robin’s turning around in the scene where usopp tells her she must believe in luffy is a demonstration of love and care. she is doing exactly what her mother did, she refuses to put a crewmate in danger. its her radical act of love and devotion.

usopp’s show of love for robin is to repeatedly acknowledge her worth, and her importance, and her genuine love which she is full of and surrounds her. he puts himself in harms way, despite his anxiety, despite his fear, because he loved her. robin’s show of love for usopp, and the crew in general, was to avoid causing them fear, to avoid causing them fights, to avoid causing them any trouble.

although, on the sea train on the way to enies lobby, robin must’ve known sogeking was usopp. there was no way she didn’t, the only crew members who didn’t realize were luffy and chopper, which is mostly played as a gag.

despite the fact she didn’t directly witness luffy and usopp’s fight and subsequent duel and usopp’s separation. she does know one thing about usopp, as a guy, as her friend.

usopp is anxiety ridden, easily scared, and sometimes so frightened he nearly appears cowardly. she knows this about him from their time spent together. she knows and never seems to mind, she loves him anyway.

this is why sogeking, this is why usopp, shooting down the world government flag is one of his most beloved and respected moments in the entire series.

usopp, who robin knows has a major flaw of being easily frightened and had a tendency to run away when faced with danger… that usopp, that scared little 17 year old kid? he was the one who shot down the flag. sure, luffy commanded him to, but he did it with no hesitation, or so much as waiver in his voice. luffy commanded him to shoot, and he said got it, declared the power of his new weapon, a remarkable reflection of his power, drew back the slingshot, and struck down that damn flag as if it was nothing.

this leaves an absolutely stunning impression on both robin, and the intended viewer. this was easily the scariest moment usopp had faced up to that point, yet he did it anyway, seemingly without fear. it was beautiful and wonderful and a true demonstration of devotion to his friends, because he was not a member of the crew at the time. he didn’t care about his current status on their crew, robin was his friend before his crewmate. all the straw hats were his friends, which was more important than his arbitrary status on a pirate crew.

robin has an equally important brave feat of revolutionary love. luffy demands her to say she wants to live. she briefly pauses, beginning to cry. one of the most meaningful parts of this sequence is her remembering usopp’s words to her on the sea train. believe in luffy, he told her to believe in luffy. so, if she can utter what she truly desires just one time, because she should trust in luffy then…

maybe its okay to want to live. maybe its okay to say that. it is an act of revolution and political defiance, the same as sogeking shooting down the flag. devil child nico robin wanting to live, wanting to be loved, wanted to be saved, and willing to scream that in front of the entirety of enies lobby is just as much as a demonstration of friendship and her belief in her friends as it is an act of disrespect to the government which wishes to condemn her for being alive.

sniper island is in robin’s heart, and on the sniper island in her heart, lives usopp.

luffy and loss and inferiority and selfish self sacrifice and tragedy and hope and love

in terms of character arcs, there is one glaring major arc which is often ignored in wider discussions of this topic. luffy’s character arc from water 7 to whole cake island ends up progressing so slowly most just don’t consider it.

luffy has had four narrowly avoided losses in the present events of canon. he has also had one major loss, the loss of his brother, the loss of ace.

ace’s death, as we all know and is made abundantly clear, impacted luffy deeply. for the first time in his life, he witnessed someone beloved to him go through with the plan of not just death, but of self sacrifice. 

ace always felt unworthy of being alive, like robin, and unworthy of respect or status, like usopp. even if he promised luffy he wouldn’t die, even if he was a member of an extremely powerful and important pirate crew, he still ended up doing very thing luffy had prevented a loved one from doing once before.

upon hearing slander of his now deceased fathers name, ace turned around. he took a hit, which was reckless. but he didn’t care. the man who loved and took care of him was dead, his true father was deceased, and if anyone spat on his legacy like that without intervention from at least one of his children, what would that say about the honor of their crew, of his family.

he chose the route of self sacrifice for the sake of their honor. 

luffy, in water 7, is reckless and emotional and doesn’t think things through. yes, its true he often doesn’t think anything through. but he was being mean by not thinking things through. he was being as stubborn and inconsiderate as usopp was. even when they both were repeatedly told to knock it off by nami and sanji.

in enies lobby, luffy gets his shit together and seems much more composed. the situation is life or death, there is no time for in-fighting. the rest of the crew knows this as well, they love usopp regardless and of course they let him fight alongside them, thats their best friend! luffy’s still just as reckless as ever, but the recklessness has thought behind it now. he asks robin to say she wants to live, and he asks sogeking to shoot down the flag. these are what most would consider completely irresponsible actions in terms of the crews general safety, but none of them mind. all they care about is their beloved friend robin, so who cares if they all die? they’d rather do that than abandon robin to be executed. however, they certainly have no intention of dying while freeing her. they fought tooth and nail just to get her back from hell, they were gonna drag her out even if all their bones were broken and their bodies tired and bruised.

this brings us to whole cake island, the first and only arc of the timeskip to have a straw hat desertion. sanji leaves the straw hats, and refuses to rejoin the crew, even when luffy wants him back on that rainy day. he tells luffy one of his three reasons he cannot return is his fathers life, his father zeff’s, legacy would not only be disrespected, but he would be killed. therefore, he must comply with the demands of the man whose evil blood is running through his veins.

it would sound familiar to luffy, wouldn’t it? a man who luffy loves believes he needs to abandon him, to die, because he feels unworthy of his love and time, despite being grateful for receiving it at all. he believes he is cursed by the simple luck of the draw of his parents. he only wants to defy, his loved one’s, luffy’s commands and help because he refuses to let his true father’s life and legacy be destroyed.

luffy wouldn’t like that. of course he stands in that rain, on that lonely island that's full of people, of course he doesn’t leave until sanji comes back with him.

what kind of captain would he be if he left sanji there? what kind of man would he be if he abandoned his crew? what kind of pirate king would he become?

he wouldn’t be able to, he decides, in order to be king of the pirates he cannot leave sanji there. in order to be the pirate king, he needs his crew. he still has them, he needs to be dedicated to them at all times. he needs to save them, he needs them to know they are loved.

concluding thoughts

one piece, as discussed in the opening section of this essay, is about love, devotion, care, compassion, and unbreakable friendships.

the narrative of one piece, as well as the thematic framing, make the themes of dedication to friends even more evident. yet, it is not entirely a “power of friendship” story per se, as much as it is a story about interpersonal freedom.

freedom from self hatred, freedom from oppression, freedom to be loved, freedom to be cared for, freedom to be appreciated and beloved and have people around who give a damn if you left and would do anything for you to be saved from the chains which bound you to an inability to accept you are loved and worthy of love.

monkey d. luffy is a symbol of liberation, and liberation begins on an interpersonal scale.

[whatcannotbesaid-shallbewept]

Something something about how Naomi Misora is so ready to sacrifice her life and seems so threatened to obey by the role of the "good woman" she's supposed to be and the inherent self loathing inherent in that

Also something something about how Beyond Birthday is so ready to sacrifice his own life (to the point of suicide) because he's so threatened by the "L successor" he's supposed to be and the inherent self loathing in that

And SOMETHING about how Beyond and Naomi validate the real versions of each other and have no idea about that pressure.

Beyond only sees Naomi as a super intelligent FBI agent, Naomi only ever sees Beyond as a separate entity from L

But both of their endings are about how they've fallen in love with the roles that are making them suffer, and they'd very much rather to sacrifice everything in the name of that. That's the only life they can imagine for themselves. Because of the self loathing.

[eyesteeth]

honestly i think the biggest tragedy with carpenter and faulkner is how little time they spent together. carpenter says in the finale "we talked a lot, him and me, but always about the wrong things" - or, to put it differently, "i wish we had talked about what really mattered". and, if they had the time to, i think they would've. they bonded so much over the first season that, by the time the second came around, they were both ready to become family despite not seeing each other in a year. and if they had the time to sit down and talk, they would have realized just how much they had in common.

because if you compare them in regards to their faith, they hit a lot of the same beats. carpenter made her first sacrifice at eight and faulkner at twelve. both of these events haunted them for the rest of their lives. they both followed the same path of disillusionment - first at the church and the people in charge of it, and then at their god. they've found themselves in a role that requires them to kill, and neither of them want to. they feel increasingly uncomfortable talking to people within the faith because it feels like those people fundamentally understand something that they don’t. where faulkner ends up in regards to his faith in season three is probably somewhere carpenter was a handful of years before canon. and, had they been allowed the time to talk in late season two or early season three, they would have realized this.

but that is one of the core elements of a tragedy - an audience can see the way out, but the characters cannot, and even if they could, the reality around them does not allow it. they do not live in a world where they could sit and talk about the right things because the one they are in will always have that looming threat preventing it. and so, they are doomed to never have that revelatory conversation and to die not knowing how much they could've understood each other.

it hurts, but it was always going to end like this.

[steviewashere]

I love only child Steve Harrington, but how about I suggest something else that's really angsty? Stay with me here, please.

CW Ahead: Death of a Sibling, Grief/Mourning, Minor Suicidal Ideation, Steve's Sacrifices to Prove Self-Worth

Steve Harrington had a twin. They were identical.

They'd chase each other around in the Indiana sun, when it was at its lowest, grass green in the field, lightning bugs about. Barefoot in the backroads, dust particles, laughing until their stomachs hurt. Riding their bikes up and down their street, seeing who could go faster. Swimming laps in the pool, trying to beat the other.

Their parents are happy. A good marriage. Lovely kids. Living that smooth, good life.

Both of them super young when it happens. He and his twin are roughly...12? 13? Middle school age.

It's another summer night. No school. Not a care in the world. The Harrington family go out of town for a lake house vacation. Steve and his twin swim laps and laps around in the lake.

They've got beach toys, playing in the very little amount of sand. Then, Steve accidentally drops his little plastic shovel into the water. It sinks, or at least begins sinking. His twin tells him to stay out of the water, that he'd go down and retrieve the shovel. His twin had the better swimmer's lungs after all.

But then thirty seconds pass. Forty-five...a whole minute.

Bubbles come to the surface. The water rippling like somebody's thrashing. And then...nothing.

Of course, Steve runs up to the lake house to get his parents. To get help. But he was too late. He couldn't save his brother.

After this, he can't even look himself in the eyes. Can't look into a mirror. After this, his parents grow distant from him. They leave more and more frequently, leave him alone in his guilt. Affairs and arguments...it all happens too frequently now. Steve keeps to himself. He's quiet and weird. Barely has any friends. Won't talk about that summer evening. Won't consider going around a lake again.

But...but then he goes to high school. He tries out for the swim team, just to give himself something to do. It made his dad pay attention to him. It made his parents stay. It made a small part of him proud, when he did good at his meets, when he was eventually given the co-captain spot. He worked as a lifeguard over the summers.

Barb goes missing from his backyard. He isn't aware that she was dragged through the pool. Didn't see it, never knew.

Nancy lives with the same sort of guilt that Steve did. But Steve only knows one way of coping: moving on. Busying his brain with stupid things: drinking and partying and sports and other things that seem meaningless. He seems fine, doesn't he? It's not like he's weighed any of the shit he's been through.

(He is. He won't tell anybody this.)

Dustin asks for his help that one day, the same age as Steve's twin brother was—will forever be. And Steve knows, even if he accepts reluctantly at first, that this is his duty. It's what's going to prove that he can care, that he isn't fucked up over this thing that happened, that he can do better.

Helping where he can, that's what makes him proud. Being somebody to step in, to throw themselves at the danger rather than letting anybody else experience it.

And then Lover's Lake.

He hasn't been out on a lake, not even dipping his toes in the water since the incident. But when it comes down to it, to the group he's sitting on that rickety boat with, he knows he must. He must prove that he can help, that he can swim best, that he can use his skills for good; rather than sitting by, almost uselessly.

He's being dragged back under the surface, something wrapped around his ankle. He's panicking, of course he's panicking—there's questions and broken sentences flashing through his brain: did this happen to him? is this what he felt like? am I going to die like this, too?

For half a moment, he expects to die. He's ready to die. Like maybe dying will break him free from the guilt he's been carrying. Like a cycle will be reset.

He's relieved when he doesn't drown.

Yet, when that demobat releases his throat and he can get enough oxygen to focus on his surroundings, he sees all the others around him in the Upside Down. And he's furious. Furious that they had to go after him, to save his sorry ass. Because, again, he's put himself in a position of complete uselessness.

Always the one needing help, needing to be saved.

He'd rather do it alone. Rather be the bait, the hook line and sinker.

And when the fight is over, when Dustin loses Eddie...

Steve sees himself in Dustin's eyes. Helpless, scared, vengeful—

Guilty.

He considers his new duty to be to actually help Dustin's guilt. To try and make it better. But he's fucking it up, he constantly fucks it up. Just like he did with Nancy. He still can't look himself in the eyes.

Not without seeing his brother's face. Not without seeing scars where he failed to fully protect. Not without seeing Dustin's guilty, angry gaze. Not without seeing himself.

And somewhere along the lines, he knew his self-worth was low. But it's even lower. Like it was when he lost his brother; it shouldn't have been his brother. It shouldn't have been Eddie. It should've been him.

But he doesn't tell anybody this revelation he has. He continues on, life normal, trying to be helpful where he can. No matter how little, no matter how much he must sacrifice.

————

Another version here:

Dustin is guilty because Eddie got so injured, but Eddie's saved by Steve. Steve makes it his only mission in that moment to resuscitate Eddie—he learned CPR after his brother died just in case, he's thankful for his anxious self-nagging.

But Dustin is still guilty and Steve still sees himself.

And Eddie's trying to reassure both of them, but nothing seems to get through. He's the only one who can really see through Steve's cracks, he ends up not liking what he's seeing. Under the surface, Steve is just hollow. Not hollow like he's dumb or boring or unimportant. Hollow like there's nothing keeping him tethered, nothing fulfilling him, nothing to keep him satiated and happy.

Under the surface, Eddie sees a version of a man he doesn't really know. He sees Steve constantly fighting a mental battle, some sort of self-worth argument, some prattle with his own thoughts. He sees a man barely living; he sees a man willing to die for anything.

Again, he ends up not liking what he's seeing.

[kopfkino-o]

Three Sisters: The Beacons of Change

Been a minute since I yapped on the internet and I’m bored on a long layover so here we go! A few housekeeping items before we dig in:

This post is pro Nesta, Feyre, and Elain. I love them all.

Some of the discourse involves pro-Elriel ramblings. This post is largely about Elain herself, so I’ll be including her general tag in this post, but wanted to make note of the Elriel discourse in case that isn’t your cuppa.

A huge shoutout to @jasmineandcedar and @nikachansstuff for the inspiration on this post. Their post/comment largely inspired this.

My thoughts are never coherent and all of this is just my opinion. Also I didn't edit this whatsoever lmao.

If any of these things aren’t for you, no worries, but peace out Girl Scout, keep on keeping you're peace. If you're interested and ready to read more then let's get on into it!

One interesting theme I picked up on within the ACOTAR series is change. More specifically, inciting change on not only a personal level, but also on the societal level. And I’m of the mind that each sister is meant to spark some sort of change, both within themselves as they get their healing arc, but also within the greater Prythian society as they come into power.

Let’s start with Feyre darling.

The First High Lady

Before Feyre came to Prythian, before her story, there were no High Ladies. Or at least the history of them were lost to society as we learned in the CC3 series. Females were not welcome to the role of 'High Lady'. They were not equals to the High Lords, even as their mates.

But with Feyre’s rebirth, with her sacrifice as the Curse Breaker, she rose to power in a way that changed fae society. She was the first High Lady. And we can see that this change spread with Viviane becoming the High Lady of Winter.

Feyre, as a monarch, represents ruling power. The power to command. She is the Crown. And with her character arc she brought change to Prythian in that she opened the door for other High Ladies to take their thrones. She challenged the misogynic lens on which Prythian viewed political leaders and proved that women can have their own political power.

The Valkyrie Reborn

Before Nesta, before her being Made, the Valkyries were lost to the world. The systems in place, largely those in Illyria as we saw in the forefront of her novel, believed women couldn’t be warriors. That they were lesser, weaker.

But with Nesta’s healing, and the revival of the Valkyries alongside Emerie and Gwyn, she challenged this. A challenge that was overcome in the Blood Rite.

With Nesta, she proved that women can have physical power. That they can be warriors. She brought about the rebirth of the Valkyries: an all female army. She challenged yet another societal (and misogynistic) standard within Prythian.

The Bondbreaker

Warning: Pro-Elriel content below

Like her sisters, I think Elain Archeron will also challenge an aspect of Prythian society. But the way she changes society and challenges it will be different than that of her sister's. Like Elain's personality, I believe her own defiance will be softer. Rooted in the heart and emotions.

But damn will it be a choice that radiates through the narrative.

As it stands in Prythian, mating bonds are sacred. Holy. They’re something not to be questioned, no matter what. As we learn from Rhys, some mates aren’t even true matches in spirit, but the bond is regarded so highly that females accept it any way, despite what they want for themselves for their lives. For their hearts.

Tamlin's parents and Rhysand's own mother and father are excellent examples of mated pairs who aren't "true pairings of souls". And I'd argue that SJM introduced these pairings to the narrative as a way to hold a mirror up to Elain's own mating bond.

I believe Elain will challenge this societal standard by rejecting her mating bond. Autonomy and freewill is a huge theme with her character and rejecting the bond would be the culmination of this. More of my yapping on this can be found here.

Elain's choice would also be a sign to other females with unwanted bonds that they too have a choice. That the bonds don’t always know best. That perhaps the Cauldron doesn't always know best. Elain’s rejection of the bond would spark change in Prythian, just like her sister’s arcs sparked change.

Note: Yapped a bit about the lore drops in CC3 and the implications of it in my post here. I personally believe there's two forces warring in the Cauldron (the Mother v. the Asteri's corruption) and believe it raises some interesting implications...

The TLDR: Each Sister is a Beacon of Change

Feyre, the monarch, challenged the system surrounding females in positions in power. With her, the role of High Ladies was reborn and the stigma in Prythian surrounding female leaders was fought.

Nesta, the warrior, challenged existing systems surrounding the strength and validity of female warriors. Through her, the Valkyries were reborn.

With Elain, I theorize that she'll lead a quieter rebellion. But one long overdue. She'll challenge the issue of fate, of the Cauldron's eddies and the Mother's will, over the heart. She'll challenge the heart. The bond. And stand in defiance of it.

okkk bye!

[katelynnwrites]

all the luck in the world | lea schüller

warnings: ~

word count: 807

summary: you only believe in luck when it comes to lea

a/n: just a lil lea appreciation blurb

luck is a funny thing.

some people say attribute every good thing that's happened to them to it and while you don't do that, you have never once doubted that in more than one situation, luck had nothing to do with it.

because you worked hard for every good thing you have in your life.

your career's been built on sacrifices and effort. you're at the top because you fought your way there. you're so good at what you do because you chose to be, putting in the work day in and day out to make it happen.

it hadn't been something as random as luck that had made you successful. it had been a little girl with a dream of being a professional footballer who had poured every bit of herself into fulfilling it that did.

your club hadn't noticed you by chance. your country's coach hadn't noticed you because of it either.

as for bad luck, it is simply your belief that unfortunate things just happened. injury comes out of the blue sometimes and there is no way to foresee and therefore prevent it.

for better or for worse, things simply happen.

so really, you don't quite believe in luck.

not unless it comes to the blonde currently lying in your bed.

there is no other way to explain it. you'd admired her for so long, crushed on her for long that it's practically a dream for you to be able to touch her, to kiss her and call her yours.

you have both luck and lena to thank for it.

really, you'd almost given up hope that lea would ever notice your feelings for her when obi succeeded in finally knocking sense into her oblivious best friend's head.

her best friend who had apparently thought she was alone in her less than platonic longing.

the two of you could be considered idiots. idiots with good luck.

but that's all past now because you have lea and lea has you.

the striker has her hair loose, it's spread across your pillow and she is smiling up at you.

it is too tempting of a sight and you can't help whispering, 'you're so pretty.'

very gently, you lean in and brush your lips across hers.

she sighs contentedly into it and you continue to kiss her after briefly drawing back and murmuring, 'so gorgeous.'

your girlfriend melts a little and you take the opportunity to straddle her, lightly brushing strands of hair from her face.

her blue eyes blink and you decide you love the way her eyelashes flutter as she does so.

'absolutely breathtaking.' you state and bring your lips down to meet hers again.

lea lets out a tiny moan and encouraged by it, you begin to kiss your way towards her exposed collarbones.

each time your lips touch her skin, the german woman trembles beneath you. the effect you have on her is intoxicating and she would not have it otherwise.

'baby.' she breathes when place a particularly long kiss on the edge of her collarbone.

you huff a small laugh and kiss her again, your lips trailing further down towards her breasts.

lea's breath audibly catches as you scatter open mouthed kisses onto the sensitive area.

now you only have access to whatever isn't covered by the sports bra she's wearing because the both of you are still in the early stages of your relationship. neither of you are ready for that kind of intimacy yet. soon but not just yet.

for now though, seeing lea's chest rise and fall in an increasingly fast rate because of your ministrations is enough. it gives you your own personal high.

germany's star forward bites her lip as her hands brace themselves on your hips so you check, 'this okay?'

the bayern munich player nods rapidly, 'don't stop. please.'

very happily, you do as she asks.

your girlfriend's skin is soft and the touch of your lips against it elicits sharp gasps and brief whimpers from her.

lea's fingers dig into your waist and you groan her name out loud.

'you're the definition of the word beautiful my love.'

the blonde's mouth parts slightly and she flushes from her face all the way down to her chest.

'okay.' she breathes shyly.

'and so amazingly talented too. we wouldn't have gotten this far in the competition without you.' you add.

ever humble, the striker starts to protest but you grin and move to kiss her senseless once more, effectively shutting her up.

it's not often that the both of you can get some time alone while with the national team, especially when competing at a big tournament like the olympics.

so you are going to make the absolute best out of the precious time that you have, while your pretty pretty girlfriend's here in your bed.

[purpleshadow-star]

***Spoilers for Seraph of the End manga chapter 131***

I just wanna talk about Mika and Yuu's changes in demeanor in this chapter. This page, in particular, was actually really sad to me.

Mika, while going along with Yuu's plans and ideas, was never really enthusiastic or optimistic about their chances of turning him back into a human. He was never super invested in saving his own life, but now that it's Yuu's life, he's suddenly super motivated. It's sad to me because it really emphasizes Mika's disregard for his own life. He didn't care as much about saving himself, but it's clear that he's about to pour all of himself and then some into keeping Yuu safe. It makes a depressing kind of sense. He's always been like this. Even as a kid, he gave up his body and blood to a vampire in order to provide for his family. He gave his life to distract Ferid to ensure that at least Yuu made it out alive. He then spent the next four years starving himself in order to keep as much of his humanity as possible and searching for Yuu. Once he found him, it was his single-minded mission to take Yuu away from the people who might be hurting him and to keep him safe. Mika has always held other people's lives, especially Yuu's, far above his own, and this chapter made this even more apparent.

Honestly, Yuu is the same way. He is 100% willing to sacrifice himself for the people he loves. Mika knows this, which is why he wanted Yuu to promise not to do exactly that. But notice, Yuu managed to avoid actually making the promise. Mika kept asking, but Yuu kept changing the subject.

I hope that doesn't come back to bite us later...

As for Yuu's change in demeanor, it is also very telling. While Mika seems upbeat and motivated now that he can focus on keeping Yuu safe, Yuu seems more subdued and much less enthusiastic about it. Yuu was putting all of himself into trying to save Mika, but now that he's the one who needs to stay safe, he doesn't seem as driven. Yuu and Mika have literally swapped places. They are both ready to give their all to protect each other while at the same time being reluctant to give anywhere near that same amount of energy when it comes to helping themselves.

[slimepuparibaba]

Our fanmade MCs for the LIs being mirror images of their boys:

Xavier and Rinne can be a bit aloof or scatter-brained, sometimes seeming very all over the place or not there at all when there's actually a lot on their mind, with their partner patiently waiting for the other to open up when they're ready

Zayne and Jasmine tend to bottle things up to themselves and grew up a little too fast, sometimes forgetting to take care of themselves as well, so they need to remind the other to take their time, indulge themselves, and that they can let their inner child out

Rafayel and Aria put on a happy-go-lucky, carefree facade despite the fact they're both pretty broken individuals deep down, and would sacrifice themselves and their happiness for the other in a heartbeat, even if that isn't what the other wishes for

Sylus and Lilia both are people who despise showing their weakness to the world and understand the world is an inherently cruel place, turning somewhat jaded to protect themselves, but they allow each other to see their weak points because they trust one another

Caleb and Mei are both extremely co-dependent on each other and would do anything to protect the other, even if it means lying or omitting the truth to keep the other safe, as well as going to the extreme for the sake of their shared happiness

[kpoptarotvibes]

A TOWN SURROUNDED BY WOLVES CH 7

A Town Surrounded By Wolves (m)

Wolf Au

Pairing – Werewolf Jungkook x Human (Female)! Reader

Genre – Werewolf AU, Smut, Humor, Angst, Strangers To Lovers.

Author Note: This world is a mix of olden times and the future. So there will be an odd mixture of old and new dialogue and décor.

Summary – The townspeople made an agreement with the wolves that they would make a virgin sacrifice every year to keep the wolves from attacking the town. You were the sacrifice this year. In a confusing twist of fate you find out who the real wolves are.

Chapters:

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4| Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10

This time you woke up to a pleasant surprise to him still in bed sleeping right next to you. The warmth hasn't left the bed yet. You couldn't help but watch him while he pretended to sleep. You just had a feeling that he probably felt you moving and woke up to that. You didn't care you continue to adore how cute and soft he looked. Your fingers hesitantly buried themselves in his soft fluffy black hair.

He was so beautiful you thought again as you caressed some black hair back away from his face. How could a man be so beautiful and kind? Hiding back here in the woods. You still couldn't believe he was your childhood wolf. You smiled to yourself. You leaned over and placed a kiss on his forehead and cuddled him close to you. Enjoying the feeling of being wrapped around him in the morning for once.

When you started to move to get out of bed, he stopped you and asked sleepily for you to stay a little longer. And you did and almost fell asleep with your nose buried in his soft hair. You both gently pulled apart from each other and got ready for the day. You gently reminded him you wanted to go to the bakery in town.

He nodded a quiet yes. You both sat at the kitchen island quietly eating breakfast together stealing looks at each other. You wanted to ask him so many things, but you didn't want to ruin the quiet peaceful mood of the morning.

Even the ride into town was quiet you intended to ask more questions on the way into town. But you were too excited to see the houses and town again. You looked out the window taking everything in. When you both finally arrived in town you took all the shops in and noted them in your mind where you wanted to go if you had the chance to come to town again.

Your finger tapped on the window and looked back at Jungkook who was concentrating on maneuvering the car through the roads. "Can we go to that candle shop?"

He glanced over at you. "Sure," he answered. His focus going back to the road.

You only smiled to yourself happy you had two places you really wanted to go. Jungkook parked in the same place the last time you were here. You both got out he suggested you both head to the candle shop first and you nodded in agreement.

When you entered the shop, it was cozily decorated like a modern farmhouse. The smell of cinnamon and apples hit your nose matching the mood of the cold weather outside. Candles filled the shelves and displays. You saw some new scents you haven't seen before and some old ones you usually get in your town.

You busily smelled each candle you never smelled before while he was gently holding you smelling whatever you offered up to his nose. As you moved around the shop, he always had a hand on your lower back and hip as if to keep you close to him. You didn't mind at all.

You stopped in front of a tub of bath bombs and smelled on a few. "This would be really cool to put in that big bathtub of yours," you suggested holding up a bath bomb to his nose for him to smell.

"I think that's a good idea," he said as sniffed the bomb. "Hmmm, I like this one let's get it."

You smiled and kept it in your hand. He started to get more into shopping picking out more bath bombs from the bowls and putting them up to his nose. Making sounds of pleasure or distain. He looked so cute his nose scrunching up when he smelled something he didn't like. You could honestly watch him all day do this.

"Would you like to get your family a few gifts?"

You looked back at him in surprise you didn't think he would even have cared or even offered. To be honest you didn't even think about it either because you didn't want to be rude. You felt he already bought you enough stuff. Why push to ask for more things?

"I ummm," you were at loss for words for a second. "I mean are you sure?"

He nodded. "Of course. It's not too much. Get something for your sister too," he added smiling down at me.

I finished up shopping around in the store and picked up some candles I knew MJ would like and a few my parents would like. He bought them with no complaints he seemed satisfied with the purchase. We headed out towards the bakery he promised to take me to.

The bakery was heaven the smell of fresh-baked bread was in the air. Again another big place filled with glass displays of cakes, bread, mini desserts etc. You didn't know where to look or what to want. Everything was so modern and neat you had never seen any bakery like this before. You looked at Jungkook overwhelmed. He was clearly watching you looking around the place in pure wonder. He only smiled down at you.

"We should find something good for dinner tonight," he suggested. You only nodded looking down at another display case of beautifully decorated desserts. He led me gently into agreeing to get some freshly baked dinner rolls, a strawberry crème cake, and also a couple of mini desserts for me and him to eat later.

All was great in your world right now. You were beginning to see yourself with Jungkook living this kind of life here. You looked around at the families and people walking around. Being here wouldn't be so bad after all. You wished your parents could see this. You wished you were here with your sister MJ walking the streets buying little things here and there. Life would be nice right.

The drive back was nice you were in a good mood. You decided to ask a few harmless questions.

"So did you know who I was that night at the ceremony?" you asked peeking over at him. His once stoic face turned into a gentle smile.

"I knew," he replied. You screamed inside.

"Like how? You haven't seen me since I was a teen?"

He gave a wolfish grin then looked over at me his eyes starting to reflect yellow. "I'll always remember your scent."

You blushed. What was it about your scent he liked so much?

"Wait so did you know I was going to be the virgin sacrifice that night?"

"Honestly no, I kind of assumed that you would be one night."

"Did you volunteer because of that assumption?"

"No, I just...I volunteered because I wanted to keep the peace because I didn't want to fight in wars anymore," he said quietly.

You nodded and looked out of the window lost in thought about how you never factored in that he would get tired of fighting. This whole thing was tiring you didn't blame him.

You ducked your head into Jungkook's chest avoiding being caught staring at his brother they called Yoongi.

"He's scary," you said into Jungkook's chest then looked up at his face. Jungkook look down at you and gently smiled.

"He is only that way at first, but he really is the sweetest and caring out of all of us," he said in the most caring tone. But you shook your head no you didn't believe it.

"He doesn't look that way to me," you said back. Ever since he entered the home, he barely said a word to you. He just looked at you with those sharp eyes. He gave off an energy that he could snap you in half he wanted to. He hardly smiled your way while others greeted you kindly.

You liked that one brother with the amazing smile bright just as playful as Tae. He was so nice, and you couldn't help but smile or laugh with him. He was so genuine and full of energy you didn't mind him being loud with the younger brothers. Hoseok was his name, but he told you to call him Hope for short. They said that was his pack name that he takes seriously.

You also liked and were becoming second favorite right next to Jimin was Jin. The cook from the mountains taught Jungkook how to make all the delicious food he had been spoiling you with. He was fun you loved his laugh his corny jokes reminded you of your dad's sense of humor. You liked the way he played around with his brothers. You were sure you get a few more Jungkook baby stories out of him.

"He had a very hard life a lot of unfortunate situations have happened to him. So he is very protective of us," Jungkook tried to assure you.

"Protective??" you gasped. "Of little old human me. I have the power to do nothing compared to you guys."

"I know. I know. Look. That's just the way he is. He will warm up to you I promise. Then you will see what we all see. He is not a bad guy," he looked down at then lifting your chin up to look at him he pressed a soft kiss to your lips.

You sighed and kissed him back. "Okay I will try," you nodded.

"Good, now are you going to help me prepare lunch, or are you going to hold on to me all day?"

"Why can't Jin just help you? Isn't he the top cook?"

"He is but this is my house and I have brotherly duties."

You pouted but went on to help him in the kitchen some time later Jin came into the kitchen to help. He showed you a few cooking techniques and joked around with you. You were surprised Jungkook didn't growl at Jin whenever he got close to you when explaining something or making a joke. You assumed it must have been only for Jimin and Tae because of their flirty nature.

Dinner was ready again the table busy with all the brothers setting it up. Moving tables and chairs so everyone can sit and eat comfortably. You helped Jungkook and Jin bring food to the table. Everyone else helped with plates and silverware. Again everyone had their task and role and now you were included in the pack's dinner routine.

You all dined with many laughs and talking. You were busy stuffing your mouth with all the food partly made by Jin. It was so good you truly knew he was the top chef from the mountains he had to be. You could not wait until the dessert came out.

Everyone continued to talk and laugh; you were surprised that Yoongi even participated in the talking and jokes considering he barely said one word to you. You thought he was a strange one, but you were going to try and have a good relationship with him like you promised.

You heard Hope's laugh and could not help but smile at him. You looked over at Jungkook who was in mid-conversation with Taehyung about you do not know what. You could not follow the conversation.

You then glanced across the table at Namjoon who you just realized was staring at you. You gave him a look as if asking if he wanted to say something to you. He tilted his head to the side and regarded you. Then he leaned forwarded.

"So how much do you really know about your town?" he inquired.

You shrugged not really knowing what he was referring to about what you should know about your town.

"The history of it I mean. The real history the ones you're not going to get from your books in your town," he answered.

"Bits and pieces," you answered hesitantly.

"Would you like to know the whole truth?" he asked.

You paused. Did you really want to know the whole truth?

Chapters:

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4| Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10

[heartofbusan]

https://x.com/koomibleu/status/1844038967181910442

In the show we basically saw Jimin and Jungkook go on about 10 dinner dates, and even when with Tae, they zeroed in on each other, making sure the other was enjoying the food, and was happy. How special is that? Some meals in their pjs, others in relaxed clothing, intimate and casual. Ahh my heart. 😭

Oh, i love the idea of 'dinner dates'. So sweet, right?

Jikook wanting to see the other well-fed speaks of an intimacy that is familial and caring. Domestic.

Food brings them, as true born Koreans, so much joy and especially for jikook: connection. They have spent many hours talking about the food they'll get to eat once a cb is over, or once they have the space to relax, what to indulge in, something they do just for themselves, not their audience. No wonder Jungkook had Jimin and food on the brain when he was done with preliminary promotions in NY. He was ready to relax and indulge, and he wanted Jimin to do the same because they prioritize each others happiness. I assume they also connect over their desire to look good but also to sacrifice meals to get there. I often think Jungkook loves to cook for Jimin because it ensures Jimin is eating well, and this is obviously important to JK. Again: get your priorities straight in your relationship. Sharing a meal is #1 for both of them.