#both of them have valid points in their argument and while i personally feel that the citadel is an evil apparatus with ill intent

[operationslipperypuppet]

the way i was like “fucking finally” when suvi started yelling at ame…

[rightwheretheyleftme]

I’m watching Korra book 2 and I have so many emotions about Aang’s neglect of his kids

After watching ATLA earlier this year, I started following a bunch of fan accounts and saw the same discourse regurgitated over and over again; One of the main points of discourse is whether Aang was bad father.

The discussions that I saw would always play out the same way. Aang’s detractors would say: “Aang didn’t take 2/3 of his kids on vacations. That’s neglect” and Aang’s defenders would reply “Aang is not a bad father! The places that he took Tenzin to were built for airbenders so Kya and Bumi wouldn’t have anything to do there!” And you know what? When I was reading those arguments, I thought that both sides had valid points and that this was a complex discussion.

Oh boy.

Now that I’m watching the episode, I realized that the people in this fandom are lying through their teeth. Aang only taking 1 out of his 3 kids on vacations is true, but the claim that that happened because Aang only visited places made for airbenders is completely false. Let’s recap the places that Aang and Tenzin went to:

- Kyoshi Island; to ride the elephant koi

- Ember Island; to build sandcastles on the beach

Now explain to me, why on earth does the majority of the fandom say that Aang went to airbender-only places? Kyoshi and Ember islands have 0 historical significance to the airbenders. These are just fun vacation spots, we know this because we saw the Gaang vacation at these places multiple times.

Moreover, according to Bumi, Aang was busy due to his job as the Avatar but he made time for Tenzin, only Tenzin. Kya agrees with this.

I’m so disgusted by this information. There is no way that a grown man in his 40s wouldn’t realize that taking only 1 of your kids on fun vacations and leaving the others behind is hurtful, the only possible conclusion that you can reach here is that Aang was intentionally trying to hurt his kids’ feelings.

And that breaks my heart.

This is not the Aang that I know and love. Aang is a fun, caring, accepting, and loving person. The behavior that I’ve described above is not only emotional neglect, it borders on abuse.

At first, I thought that maybe this storyline was meant to deconstrue the “The hero can do no wrong” cliché. Except that it ends with Kya and Bumi looking at a family picture and reminiscing about how happy they were. So no, there is no deconstruction; Aang is portrayed as a flawed but otherwise good father. Apparently, not loving 2/3 of your children enough to want to spend leisure time with them is a common flaw and not parental neglect, according to TLOK.

I feel so betrayed not only by the writers and the story that I love, but also by the fandom who silences victims of parental abuse when they are rightfully pissed off by Aang’s actions. I never wanted for Aang to be a neglectful father, but he is. Harassing people who are mad about his actions and calling them bitter Zutaras is a disgusting way to try to silence conversations about parental abuse.

Side note: Where tf was Katara while this was happening? Did she not take offense that her husband was neglecting 2/3 of her kids? Why didn’t Aang respect Katara enough to not play favorites with the kids she gave him?

[sillydizzybxtches]

Lovers Quarrel

WARNINGS: arguing, angst/hurt to comfort, overstimulation (/nsx) — A/N? - 1.1k words + gn!reader !! ⯌ summary: reneé and her partner go through a rough patch, but they'll still always be there for one another.

You two hadn't a moment like this in ages.

There was a distance between the two of you; the door slammed shut and you swore you felt it echo through your bones, rattling your mind. Your jaw clenched while you kept your balled fists at your sides, wanting to tear down that damn door and give Reneé a piece of your mind. It felt unfair—why should she be allowed to just storm out in the middle of an argument? Your opinion was valid, too. It wasn't always all about her.

The block of wood stared back at you and your eyes narrowed, glaring at it as if the door was the one that had done you wrong. It felt like the visual representation of the divot in your bond, and that was crime enough. "You know what? Fine, fuck you," You spat through the door before storming off and slamming the door to the guest bedroom. You didn't want to fucking talk to her, anyway. Sure, Reneé could be stubborn, but so could you. And you had no problem with it.

You both could go to sleep angry.

... And wake up in the same state—you two still functioned, even if you were just as pissed and the tension was thick enough to cut through with a knife. Per usual, you got up and made breakfast for the both of you since she had work that morning; you knew better than to neglect the person you loved just because you felt petty, but you kept it simple. She ate, thanked you passively, and left. The only words she muttered to you that morning were 'thanks for the breakfast'. Not hearing an 'I love you' or 'have a good day' hurt more than you wished it would, but you knew she was just trying to piss you off. It worked, but she didn't need to know.

That afternoon, she got home from work, the most you received was a nod of acknowledgement. For the rest of the night, not a word left her lips—was it dumb that you were already starting to miss them?

Yeah, it was.

At this point, you two had been giving each other the silent treatment for a week.

It was a long day of work, again; people were dicks, lacked common sense, and just did all the right things to piss you off. When you walked into the house, you didn't even glare at Reneé—you were not having it today. You didn't want to look or even think about her right now. You were overstimulated and just needed to calm down before you lost your shit. The first thing you did when you got in the house was brush past her, run up the stairs, and shut the door to your room; you slammed it harder than intended, but it was an accident this time. You regretted it instantly, because the next thing you did was cover your ears and feel the stable pacing of your breath begin to slip away. It was so fucking loud.

You tried to regain some sort of control over your breathing, even as your head pounded and you felt like the world around you was shattering. Everything around you just felt like too much—your clothes felt like sandpaper against your skin, your hair kept touching you, and your head felt so loud. You hated it, all of it.

The built and pent-up anger, sadness, and longing poured out before you could control it. The ground fell beneath you and you landed on your knees, hands still covering your ears as hot tears began to slip from your eyes to the bottom of your chin. Your sniffles turned to sobs, and before you knew it, you were curled up in a fetal position with your hands on your head.

"Baby?" A familiar voice echoed from the other side of the door, knocking softly. "Are you okay in there?"

You didn't know what to say—you weren't even sure you could say anything with the state you were in. "Y/N, I'm serious. Is everything okay?" You heard the twinge of slight frustration in her tone, but you didn't know what to do. You just stayed curled up, shaking your head in your hands.

Sensing that something was off, Reneé opened the door quietly. Her jaw dropped when she saw you, and she took off to meet you on the ground, crouching beside you. "It's okay, it's okay," She hummed. "Did you have a long day, baby?"

You nodded, burying your face in your hands as you sobbed. You tried to stop a while ago, but you couldn't stop the tears. "I get that. Can I touch you?" The blonde asked tenderly, and when you nodded, she wrapped her arms around your shoulders and pulled you against her. You turned and buried your face in her shoulder, shaking from how hard you were crying. "It's okay, I'm here. Let it out," She cooed, and even if you tried to restrain yourself, your body wouldn't let you. As you sobbed into her shoulder, your tears soaked her shirt, and you hugged her waist tightly. She sat there the entire time, whispering words of reassurance to help calm you down and remind you that she was there for you.

Even as you began to come down and your breaths slowed, you clung to Reneé. You missed her so bad. You hated arguing with her. You never wanted to do it again.

"I'm sorry," You whimpered, still resting against her shoulder. Reneé frowned, running her fingers through your hair.

"For what?"

"If I hurt you when we argued."

The blonde shook her head, humming softly. "No, baby, you didn't," She cooed, though she felt guilt wash over her. "I was being dumb. I let something small get between us and didn't think about how it'd affect you. I'm sorry, Y/N/N," She whimpered. "Thanks. Me, too," You sighed. You pulled back to look up at her with glossy eyes, and she frowned down at you softly. "I'm so sorry, love."

You saw the signs—the way she bit her lip and sniffled. When you saw her tears, you wiped them away and intertwined your fingers with hers. "It's okay, Nae." You guided her through it, still curled up against her. After calming down, she smiled softly despite her tears, sniffling as she took your hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. She sighed, "How do you feel?" "I feel way better after that." You both chuckled. "Can we just ... cuddle?" You whined, still mildly overstimulated. You just wanted time with the love of your life for the first time in days.

Reneé smiled, leaning her forehead against yours. "Of course, baby. I love you."

You smiled warmly. "I love you, too, Nae."

[loveyhoons]

YOU’RE MINE⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ | s.jh

pairing: sim jaeyun x f!reader

genre: tatbilb! inspired, fake relationship!

synopsis: when you and jake get into an argument, you decide to get over your fear of driving by yourself and tell him how much he means to you

featuring: jake & sunoo of enhypen, ej from &team

word count: 3.0k words

warnings: cussing, kissing

author’s note: hi everyone, long time no see 😭👍🏼 i decided to put out a little au for you all since i have not published something in a while! rest assured, i hope to get my other fics out hopefully very soon, but i am currently still in the process of writing them!!

if you watched tatbilb this is loosely inspired by that movie, i recently rewatched it and was like let me write something up

hope you all like this one :)

You stopped at the red light, tapping your fingers back and forth on the steering wheel.

You hated driving when you didn’t need to-more like when you weren’t alone either.

You constantly looked back and forth on your side mirrors, hoping the light would turn green soon. You did not know whether it was the cup of coffee you had this morning or that talk you had with your older sister’s ex-boyfriend EJ yesterday afternoon but it all seemed to snowball to this very moment.

Scratch that, it all was valid reasons why you were feeling this way- more specifically why you were feeling all these things for one person.

Jake Sim.

It all started in October last year when you both agreed to mutually get into a fake relationship.

With your younger sister sending out all your love letters in the mail (that were supposed to be kept a secret), you were in deep trouble.

According to her, she wanted your life to have some spice in it-whatever that meant. Well, what you didn’t know was that when you almost backed up and almost hit Jake on the first day of school, she immediately thought she could give you a little push. And with his name matching up with one of the letters she so happened to see in that little teal box, she knew what had to be done.

You remember running laps in PE, trying to ignore the sunlight and get the period over with. You stopped out of nowhere hearing Jake call your name. You turned around, seeing him walk over towards you, leaving you behind as your classmates ran ahead, getting further and further away.

As soon as you saw a letter in his hand, you felt your heart race. You recognized the pink paper and saw it was accompanied by a brown envelope- one with a forever stamp that had a blue bird on it, the design you ever so remember: it was the one you used for all your love letters at that spur of the moment you had back in freshman year.

Whenever you had a crush so intense to the point you felt like your heart was about to be ripped out of your chest, you wrote love letters. You remembered storing the letters in the teal box your Mom gave to you shortly before she passed.

You thought that keeping it safe inside the box was like a metaphor in a sense. The teal box was like your heart. It saved all these bottled up emotions you knew that you would keep and never reveal even in a million years.

But, it all went wrong once it got into the hands of those 5 guys you wrote to.

EJ your sister’s ex who happened to be your neighbor.

Heeseung Lee from summer camp.

Jake Sim from seventh grade.

Beomgyu Choi, your homecoming date in freshman year.

and Sunghoon Park from Model UN.

You mumbled to yourself, trying to decipher if this was real or reality. You then passed out and felt like you were in a dream.

A very bad dream.

Jake ran towards you, unsure of what to do. You slowly woke up, hearing the worried tone of his voice as soon as you opened your eyes.

You remembered sitting up as Jake bombarded you with questions asking if you needed water or needed to go to the nurse’s office.

And out of nowhere, EJ then appeared walking from where Jake came from, also holding a love letter in his hands. As he came down towards you, you gulped, immediately freaking out.

You kissed Jake out of nowhere as soon as EJ called out your name, immediately earning yourself an extra lap to run after.

Jake was shocked-well the both of you were. You could not believe you did that and was baffled over the whole situation.

What you didn’t know was that this would all be the start of your little contract.

Jake just broke up with his ex girlfriend a month prior to school starting. His ex was also your old best friend from middle school.

It was in the 7th grade when you both had a huge fight that would then lead to you breaking things off.

You all were at a mutual friend’s birthday party. It was a classic game of spin the bottle and the bottle landed on you then on Jake. Your mutual friend dared you to kiss Jake on the cheek.

And little did you know your best friend had a huge crush on him. And that was the end of your friendship. She just left you and you still wondered why it even happened.

With the both of you needing a favor from each other (Jake thought this could be something you would do in return for that kiss), you both agreed to make Jake’s ex jealous and you agreed to keep it up in order for EJ to not talk to you.

You really couldn’t face him at all after what happened, especially with your sister. You were at the last resort of options and decided to make a whole contract with Jake.

Anyways, it only really was supposed to be until the annual ski trip in December before winter break…right?

You would then hold hands in school, have the love letters you ever so wanted written to you, and the recreation of scenes from classic romantic comedies you loved watching with your sisters on those warm summer nights.

Jake would spin you around, give you the biggest back hugs, and wear your scrunchies on his wrist even if you weren’t there physically with him.

“What’s this?” You ask Jake as you hold the folded piece of paper in your hands. You unfolded it, seeing a paragraph on the top half.

He smiled, pointing towards it. “Your daily love letters Y/L/N.”

You read the cheesy paragraph to yourself, smiling. You looked up to him, trying not to giggle. “Who knew you were so good at writing?”

“It’s only for you.” Jake nodded his head. “You ask and you shall receive.”

It felt nice. You hated to admit you liked it. Maybe it was the fact you never had a boyfriend or the way you always so wished to experience what it would feel like to live in your own little romantic comedy.

But at the same time, you felt a wave of sadness knowing it was just all for show.

You knew things would end with Jake eventually and this would all be a nice dream you’d have to wake up to. He would eventually be back with his ex and your relationship would just be another silly thing that would slowly fade from your memory.

You felt like shit too, hiding this all from your older sister knowing you told her everything beforehand. After she left for her study abroad to France, you had no idea how to tell her about Jake or what was going on between you and EJ.

You felt overwhelmed, unsure of what to do.

And then the annual Ski trip came around and when things really started to become a bit different for you both.

You realized you fell for Jake and you wanted this relationship to be real. You wanted him-but this time as your actual boyfriend.

And that’s when you heard he was at the swimming pool. And that’s when you both shared a passionate kiss, as he also admitted to falling for you in the process too.

“Fuck, I’m going to look insane.” You mumbled to yourself, taking in a deep breath. You got into the pool, removing your bath robe. Feeling a bit chilly in your nightgown, you quickly went towards Jake. He gulped a little, flustered. He felt his heart race.

“Why didn’t you sit next to me on the bus?” Jake asked as you floated next to him.

“I figured you’d want some alone time with your ex, that’s all.” You replied a bit reluctant.

“But she’s not my girlfriend Y/L/N.” Jake bit his lip. “You are.”

“Jake-”

“I think we need to end the contract now.”

You raised your eyebrow. You could feel the disappointment and the heavy feeling in your chest. Shit, should you even still confess how you really feel?

Jake then grabs your hands as he sighed. “I don’t want to be in a fake relationship, I want us to have a fresh start with each other, I want to make things real. Rip the contract whatever we had written on there doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Wait Jake.” You felt your voice squeak a little in shock. “You’re not joking?”

“No Y/L/N. I really like you. Who were we kidding, getting ourselves into this situation? I feel like I’m just blabbing on and on but I do hope you feel the same.”

You smiled, feeling your cheeks burn. Nodding your head, you then placed your lips on his as he held you closer to him.

As you pulled away, you whispered in a smile. “Don’t worry, I feel exactly the same.”

He wrapped his arms around you as the two of you embraced in another kiss.

You felt like your life was turning for the better after that. You thought you and Jake could just rip up that contract and call it a day as soon as you both got back from the trip.

But things would only crumble from there.

As soon as you got off the bus the day after, Jake’s ex taunted you.

You thought you had lost that scrunchie- the first one you gave to Jake on that first week upon dating.

But why was it on her wrist?

You remember storming off, not even saying bye to Jake, just out of it, baffled as if whatever happened the evening prior felt like nothing even mattered.

Then your sister came home from France and found out about your little letter to EJ (thanks to him interrupting your family dinner on Christmas Eve).

Jake happened to show up at the same time as EJ did and the two ended up almost in a fight. Jake wanted to explain that nothing happened and to apologize for the scrunchie but then EJ bursted out and spoke about how he felt, confused as to why you were dating Jake.

Little did you know your older sister was behind the front door the entire time, accidentally hearing everything from the love letter to you and Jake being in a fake relationship.

She was speechless to say the least. She was disappointed you held everything in and did not tell her anything, telling you, you should not go through anything alone.

You cried on your pillow that evening, not even able to fully process how things went wrong so quickly. You remember feeling defeated and as if the Christmas spirit just washed away the next day.

And to make matters worse as soon as you got back from break, a mysterious person posted a video of you and Jake’s heated moment at the pool.

And you remember storming off on Jake, calling it quits.

It hit you that you may have lost the best person that ever happened to you.

And you didn’t know how to accept losing another important person in your life.

After you and your older sister worked things out, she was successfully able to get that video off Instagram (thankfully the help center was ever so helpful).

You made amends-somewhat- with Jake’s ex who admitted to posting the video on a burner account. She admitted the whole spin the bottle situation was why you both stopped becoming friends and left you in pure shock.

Even though you did not understand why she could not just tell you in the first place long ago, you accepted it already happened.

You could not just go back in time and undo things, you needed to face what was in front of you.

You eventually worked things out with EJ. You explained everything and apologized for the way you acted.

“Who cares if it was fake?” EJ snickered as he shook his head. He shifted his position a bit on the stair you both sat on. He tried not to laugh, glancing at you. “I could tell it wasn’t fake for you. You had that type of look in your eyes. It reminded me how your sister looked at me when we were together.”

“EJ, you’re funny but I really don’t know anymore.” You replied, hugging your knees.

“If Jake fucks this up, I hope he knows I won’t let him off easily.” EJ snapped. “This is not only for you but also for your sister. I rest my case.”

Your front door then swiftly opened to your younger sister who sat in the middle of you both. She had the teal box in her hands and took off the lid, showing the contents inside.

Instead of those love letters you wrote in the past, it was filled with the love letters that Jake wrote you. All of those letters were stored inside, each folded like how he gave it to you.

“I may have eavesdropped-I didn’t mean to okay.” Your younger sister awkwardly said. She then took one of the letters and held it up. “But I hope this gives you more of a reason to get back with Jake-not that I need a ride to school or anything. Also please, I hate to see you crying over the smallest things. I need him back in our lives. I don’t know if I can stand hearing your bitter thoughts in every romcom we watch now any longer.”

You looked at your sister in utter shock.

“The kid has spoken.” EJ smiled as he stood up. He then cooed, looking towards you. “It’s up to you now whether or not you want to put it in action.”

Now here you are on a Sunday afternoon, driving to the school campus to find Jake.

You texted his friend Sunoo in the morning who also was on the soccer team with him.

It turned out the team had practice on the weekends as the soccer season was starting once again. Sunoo texted you right after practice ended and said that Jake should still be there as practice ended a bit later than expected.

So you grabbed your keys as soon as Sunoo texted back, immediately driving out of your driveway and onto the road.

Jake was left behind according to Sunoo as it was his turn to put the soccer balls back into the large shed by the PE locker rooms.

This was the first time you drove by yourself.

That fear of yours didn’t seem to matter at all in the moment.

You just needed to make sure you would make it before Jake would leave. You could not keep your feelings to yourself anymore.

You pulled into the right school parking lot and parked your car in one of the empty spots. You got out quickly and pressed the lock button on your car keys, immediately running towards the field.

As you walked into the campus and straight to the field, you panted for a little. You stopped at the field entrance, scanning the area for Jake.

You then spotted him, putting the soccer balls into the large bags towards the sides by the left bleachers. You ran again and called out his name, going straight towards him.

Jake turned towards your direction and turned his head slightly, making sure he wasn’t hearing things.

You then stopped in front of him and sighed. “Holy shit, I feel like I’m in PE.”

“Did you drive here…alone?” Jake asked in shock as you nodded your head. He put down the bag of soccer balls, kicking it towards the side.

“Yes. I drove here alone.” You said a bit out of breath as you walked closer to him. “That’s not important right now.”

“Y/N, what’s going on?”

“I’ll just- you know what, I’ll just say whatever I am feeling right now.” You looked at him and started to speak, feeling your voice break a little. “Jake I’m so sorry for not texting you the past few weeks and for ignoring you. I just needed time to think things out.” You sighed. “I am so sorry I didn’t work things out and just left you in the dark. I realized through all of this that I want you. I want us. I want to fight for you like you did for me this entire time. I want to experience the good and bad times with you. I just want you here,

I want you with me.”

Jake’s eyes widened as his lips pursed into a smile. “I’m sorry too. I swear we didn’t do anything with each other and I feel stupid for not getting back your scrunchie and just letting her do whatever she wanted to do. I just- after you going no contact with me I didn’t know what to do then with the video being posted. Fuck, I didn’t mean for that to happen either.”

What’s done is done. I am leaving that in the past.” You replied. “I just wanted to get it out of my chest whatever I’m feeling because truthfully I like you a lot Jake. I understand if you don’t want to get back together- I just want you to know so I can get closure- we can get closure, heck I think I just got over my fear of driving alone.”

“Woah slow down you’re getting ahead of yourself!” Jake chuckled, trying to calm you down.“Sunoo sorta told me you texted him this morning…I was kind of expecting you.”

Your eyes widened in shock. “He wasn’t supposed to say anything.”

Jake cupped your cheeks in his hands and sighed. “What am I going to do with you?”

You intently looked up at him as he clicked his tongue. “There is no way I am letting you go L/Y/N. We will make this work I am sure of it. You think I would really let you go after what happened in the seventh grade?”

“Not you mentioning it again, I can’t believe you still remember that…” You shook your head in embarrassment.

“I’m just telling the truth.” Jake said defensively as you smiled. He then took a deep breath and asked,”Now, the real question is… can I be your boyfriend-like your real one?”

You smiled, nodding your head. “Didn’t need to ask, I'm all yours.”

Jake pulled you in for a kiss as you moved in, standing closer towards him. And you stayed like that for a little while, relieved that you found your way back to him.

© loveyhoons , 2024

landing page | masterlist

[kamalasloth]

Caitlyn Kiramman Analysis- The Wooden Boat

In S2E8, there is a scene where Caitlyn talks with both Maddie and Vi, which also features seconds long close-up shots at the wooden boat trinket she holds in her hand. My interpretation of the importance of this wooden boat is that it showcases how Caitlyn manages her emotions at this point in the series, and also how it highlights Vi’s importance in her life.

1st closeup: During Caitlyn’s conversation with Maddie

“You can’t blame yourself.”

“I don’t need consolation. I need a plan”

Here Maddie makes an attempt to comfort Caitlyn, to which Caitlyn clenches her fist around the wooden boat, refusing to let Maddie remove it.

The trinket serves as a manifestation of Caitlyn’s emotions. She doesn’t see Maddie as a person she can confide in, so she decides to keep her emotions bottled in, thus the wooden boat held firmly in her hand.

2nd closeup: Caitlyn’s heated conversation with Vi

“How long were you sidled up with that shifty, self-serving war pig? She oinked poison in your ear, and you just ate it!”

“I know!”

In contrast with her holding onto the wooden boat for dear life with Maddie, here Caitlyn throws the trinket at the ground in frustration.

Although they’re clearly in an argument, them having an argument itself is a difference in how Caitlyn views Maddie and Vi.

She doesn’t trust Maddie with matters of her heart, so she avoids even putting real emotion into their conversations, acting as formal as she can, Caitlyn acknowledges the social status between them (commander and officer).

With Vi, Caitlyn isn’t afraid to speak freely, so she tosses the wooden boat, her raw emotions out towards Vi, in hopes that Vi would understand what she is feeling. The reason why they’re even in an argument is because Caitlyn trusts Vi so so much. To give a personal example, I can get into an argument with my family over the tiniest things, every few weeks, but not with other random people in my life. That is because we don’t bottle up our emotions towards people we love!! We aren’t afraid to let them know what we really think, as opposed to having conversations with other people in our lives, we try to always say the appropriate thing.

This isn’t the only case where Caitlyn shows how much she trusts Vi.

Earlier in the story, we as a fandom always laugh at how Caitlyn immediately folded after hearing Vi out about saving Vander. There is still a valid reason behind why she would do that (besides her being down bad🤣). Just as Vi later said, Ambessa is fake AF, which means nobody in her life apart from Vi has pure intentions, so imagine her being in that toxic environment for so long and then Vi hits her with an “I want to save my dad.” That is like the realest thing anyone has said to her for a while, so of course she wanted to help her😭 Remember season 1 guys, they’re both smol beans with good hearts 💔

But back to Caitlyn tossing the wooden boat, in another perspective, Caitlyn is pouring out her heart out to Vi, basically saying, I no longer know what to do, every time I try to do the right thing it always backfires, PLEASE HELP ME. She doesn’t have to care about her social status, or showing her soft side to Vi, WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE CONCLUSION that had Vi not stomp out of the room after, they would’ve fucked right then and there. Lmao.

Here is the clip I referred to for this analysis:

[bitchslapblastoids]

what’s funky about these dan gender convos is how utterly precisely identically eerily similar it all is to the conversations that were so frequently had about their sexuality pre coming out

like identical wording on both sides of the aisle, identical arguments against the speculation, identical arguments about the validity of speculation. about how it harmed d&p - no, how it heard d&p. about how it harmed the queer community - no, how it uplifted the queer community. about how it was all coming from fans within the queer community looking for kinship - no, how it was all coming from straight fans looking to fetishize and project. about how queer people had more of a right to comment - no, how nobody had a right to comment. About how it put them in a box - no, how it freed them from that box. At the end of the day from our current vantage point, it kind of seems like everyone was a little bit right.

I don’t rly have a conclusion here and I’m not going to weigh in on the overall convo rn because I’m honestly not sure what my exact thoughts are about it all, and it feels too complicated to delve into without a lot of thought and care. plus I don’t rly think I’m the person to speak on this topic anyway. it just brings me back to some of the more challenging convos that happened so often while the same talking points about dan (and phil too, but dan simply spoke more about attraction and identity over the years, so the convo centered dan more frequently) came up over and over and over again, especially in the forums where more long form (and arguably more thoughtful) debate was encouraged and easy to participate in.

Just interesting to notice the parallels. Time is a flat circle.

[yokelish]

About Lucanis and Neve

I need someone to make a valid argument to convince me this relationship isn't' doomed the moment Elgar'nan dies. Especially if Lucanis is the hardened one.

Either way, one of them gets hardened. Neve still retains more leniency when hardened (Rook can pursue her), her complex about attachments to people is made worse. Rook would have to actively dismantle walls to be able to pursue Neve romantically. Neve (hardened or not) sees the Venatori wounds on Lucanis and refuses to poke them. In her own way, it's out of consideration, sympathy. To her, it's kindness. Venatori wounds are painful like bones that never fuse together properly, and she isn't exactly a healer (pun intended). She doesn't like anyone poking into her Venatori wounds either.

Lucanis, while passionate, is just isn't' very good with people or feelings. He isn't good with his own emotions in terms of processing them. He is great at compartmentalizing but that mostly means an emotion is put on a shelf and never touched again. It takes Rook, romantic or platonic, to literally speak into his mind so he has no choice but hear: this is NOT how you deal with complex feelings or trauma. You can't just put it on a shelf and forget about it. You will have to stare down the abyss if you want the abyss to stop haunting you.

Hardened Lucanis is an even bigger can of worms in terms of romantic entanglements. Because via the virtue of Veilguard writing, the man is denied healing. He not only denies Rook a possibility of romance (which isn't the best writing choice, hardened Lucanis romance could have been mindblowing, but I can understand the choice to cut off romance). Lucanis denies himself the possibility of healing. There is a prison inside his mind he could start to dismantle after Inner Demons quest, but hardened Lucanis will fucking ignore the prison's presence and will internalize continue carry it like it's a vital organ and not appendicitis.

And in Neve/Lucanis pairing one of them IS hardened, no matter what. Which is nice! You deserve love and affection even if you've been through shit. But the virtue of Veilguard writing, either Neve or Lucanis gets the short end of the stick in terms of character growth.

So you either have Neve who has drawn the line in the sand, built a wall upon it, and decided that certain depth of a relationship with another person is just a bad idea. It's like underwater pressure: at certain point you just need to stop swimming deeper. She will dedicate to her pursuit of helping dock town, but if LI Rook hasn't carved out a hole in that wall and climbed through-- it is solid. Only people who got on the other side before the wall was finished (Rana, Bellara, Harding) will get to stay behind it.

Hardened Lucanis is...What kind of deep relationship do you expect from a man who actively sees himself as a danger to his romantic partner? That's a man with a broken leg refusing to get a cast. And Neve will not be able to watch this happen. Neve tells Lucanis they are both terrible at letting go and he shouldn't adopt that quality, but Hardened Lucanis not only adopts it, he cranks it up to 11. She will ask him to put on a cast, he will refuse. They'll argue about it. No one will give in, they are both incredibly stubborn. Maybe it happens once, maybe twice or thrice, but Neve will not do this to herself and simply watch a man she cares for, however deeply, sinking into misery. And Hardened Lucanis kinda comes across as miserable, even his speech of reclaiming his life after the war is over is underlined with 'or I'll die trying'.

Both of their romances require Rook to display incredible patience and understanding of the past wounds on either Neve or Lucanis, to encourage either to stop wearing the shackles of past traumas as part of armor. Those are shackles, they do not protect unless you seek protection from a fuller, richer life.

But in Hardened Neve/Lucanis this will not happened because Lucanis, while passionate and kind, just isn't fucking good with such things. He will come across an obstacle in his relationship with Neve and is just about as likely to think it belongs there as he is to make it awkward. It's a talent and a skill that will take years to even begin to master. Hardened Lucanis/Neve is just a bit of a nightmare for my girl, honestly. While they claim to take their romance slow, it will definitely take a few years for those problem spots to star showing. And I hope either Lucanis or Neve get the help they need before their romantic relationship with each other combusts like an ancient elven relic.

On that note, it is ENTIRELY A FUCKING CHOICE that you have the ability to forgive and push a man towards healing, when said man has:

a. Committed genocide via Rite of Tranquillity b. Tried to tear down the Veil twice and all with disastrous outcomes where thousands died c.Once accidentally killed his friend and twice very deliberately d. Betrays both Player Characters even if you are have been nothing but a friend to him e. Used blood magic on your to alter your mind

Butt you cannot push your companion, your friend, person you trust with your fucking life and the fate of the world to, to heal if you do not save his city. Even if the other city might be your home. it's a fucking choice, to be honest. Lucanis could have still hardened and healed and perhaps started to choose himself over other people finally but nooooo.

[gayhoediaz]

hello nie 👋

what is buck and tommy's first major argument about + how does it end 🎤

ohhhh jack this is such a good question!! ♡

i had to sit back and think a little bit, but what i came up with us that i think it would honestly just come down to both of them having a bad day and i think they deal with those in completely different ways. at this point, i think they have been together in a serious relationship for a decent amount of time - maybe six months or so? and i think they become very serious very quickly so six months is certainly long enough that they’re starting to feel more comfortable that the other person isn’t going anywhere, and you know how sometimes you lash out at the person you know is going to stay? yeah.

because of his childhood, i headcanon tommy as someone who finds solace in solitude, and while i think there are certainly times where he craves affection and company, i think it’s just as common that he just. needs to be alone. i think he knows that if he doesn’t get that alone time, his frustration is going to get directed at people who haven’t done anything to deserve it, and he’s certainly responsible enough to handle that and prevent it.

now, buck? buck is someone who we know to seek comfort in the people he loves. we have seen him go to eddie, to maddie, to hen, to bobby, and so on - he is just someone who needs to talk, and to feel embraced and listened to, and loved.

and tommy would absolutely be his first choice at this point - not only because he’s his boyfriend, but because tommy is tommy. he’s older, and he’s smart, and he’s kind, and he’s caring, and he always says what buck needs to hear. he never makes buck feel as if he’s too much, or too needy.

never.

until.

until.

their awful, terrible, nightmarish days happen to fall on the same day.

i don’t think either of them are awful to each other, there’s absolutely no name calling, or cursing each other out, but they just kind of… clash. i think buck really wants to just go home and sit on the couch with tommy and watch a movie (love actually is just fine because he loves watching tommy watch it) and it’s not that tommy doesn’t want that, he just needs to be alone first.

and i think this would be perfectly fine if they communicated - but they don’t. i don’t think they have the energy to do that, so it just kind of ends up being a mess where buck misses him and wants him to come over, and feels a little blown off (i don’t think tommy ghosts him but maybe his texts are a little more chilly than they usually are) while tommy feels frustrated because - he’ll be there in a few hours, if evan can just calm down and leave him alone, he’ll be fine and he’ll hold him because he needs that too, but just. not right now. (again, i think tommy isn’t as cold as buck feels he is, and buck isn’t nearly as clingy as tommy feels, i think it’s just completely exaggerated in their own heads because they’re already upset for reasons that don’t have anything to do with each other.)

this is just the pre-argument, though. i think the real argument comes later, when tommy comes over to the loft (and at this point, he’s calmed down, he’s fine, he just wants to have a good night with his boyfriend and listen to him talk about his bad day, because now he’s been alone for a while so he has the energy to do so.) and he realizes that there is still friction between them - because here’s the thing:

we have only really seen tommy from buck’s pov this go-around, and that’s why he feels so… perfect? in a lot of ways? and again, i don’t think that buck is in any way upset that tommy couldn’t come over the second he needed him - he’s a grown man, he’s fine - but i think it’s the way that he felt tommy kind of blowing him off, and not communicating. i think it makes him feel annoyed and ignored (valid) and i think it kind of drags tommy down from this pedestal he has had him on?

in the end, i think tommy snaps and i think that’s exactly what he says - something along the lines of “i’m not perfect” etc etc. and i think they argue for a while, but they ultimately end up working things out that very night. i think tommy genuinely apologizes, and so does buck - i think buck reluctantly confesses that although he has grown a lot, and worked on himself, and become more confident, he does still ultimately have this fear of being too much, and i think tommy’s face just. softens, and he tells him that he never wants him to feel that way, and that he wasn’t and would never be annoyed with buck wanting or needing him around - it was just… everything else, and terrible timing, and bad communication. and then i think tommy explains some things about his childhood that helps buck understand why he may need to be alone sometimes, and how that’s how he finds comfort and makes peace with a bad day.

in the end, they ultimately know and understand each other so much better, and they make a vow to just. communicate. and they’re falling even deeper in love with each other.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for possibly invalidating a self-diagnosed autistic person

I (20sNB) met D (20sM) in an online server for an anime fandom we're both in. I'm a psychology student who was professionally diagnosed with autism in early childhood. D and I developed a friendship based on having similar fandom opinions. I don't remember how me being autistic came up in conversation but when I mentioned it, he described himself as "autistic as f#ck". Sometimes he would get into arguments with other people in the server and bring up his autism if he was called out on how he spoke to people. On his twitter he said his autism was self-diagnosed and he has no interest in getting a professional diagnosis but he could if he wanted to.

I have complicated feelings on self-diagnosis; I think there's pressure in the autistic community to accept every single self-diagnosed person as valid. I personally would never definitively say I had something that I hadn't been professionally diagnosed with. That being said, I understand that there are factors that would prevent someone from getting a diagnosis so some people *have* to only be self-diagnosed. I don't have a problem with it as long as people aren't spreading misinformation or being actively harmful, which is what I (and others) thought D was doing. My issue wasn't him being self-diagnosis, it was that he was using his self-diagnosed autism to justify incorrect (and harmful) claims.

I noticed a few times that he would make comments like "autism isn't a disability" and "some autistics have high support needs because of intellectual disability", which is just flat out wrong. D also claimed that if he was to get a diagnosis, his would be level 3 autism (which would be for someone with high support needs with severe social and communication deficits, generally nonverbal) but he also is a college student who's been in a relationship for over a year and he works part-time in retail. For context, my diagnosis happened when there was different terminology but my psychologist considers me to be somewhere between level 1 or 2 and I am also studying and working part time.

Another person in the server (let's call them P, also 20sM) brought up a different disorder that they'd been diagnosed with (not autism although P is autistic as well) and D immediately said "I probably have that too but I can't be bothered to do anything about it".

P and a few other people in the server expressed some frustration in a separate group chat about D's tendency to (a) say things about autism that just aren't true and (b) say "omg me too" every time one of us brings up things we have. Once D said autism isn't a disability the third or fourth time we'd had enough and I responded "D, that's not right". D took offense to that and claimed as a fellow autistic person I should agree with him. I said "D, I'm autistic and it's a disability, I call myself disabled because my autism is literally disabling". D said he felt like disabled is a bad word and he doesn't like using it about himself. I said "D, no one's forcing you to use it about yourself if you don't want to, but saying autism isn't a disability is just wrong". P pointed out that every time someone in the server talks about being neurodivergent D is like "omg me too" and P also said that D doesn't get to claim to be autistic while also spreading misinformation, especially when the misinformation being spread is ableist. D got mad at P for calling him ableist; he insisted he's autistic and self-diagnosis is valid. I said "I get that, but when the information you're spreading is flat-out wrong, it kind of makes me question your researching skills".

D called P and I both ableist, told us we were so privileged to be diagnosed (which neither of us disputed but also D *could* have been diagnosed but chooses not to be even though he has the resources to access a professional diagnosis) and we're "f#cking assholes" for invalidating self-diagnosed autistics. D's partner (20sF) also got involved and claimed we were bullying D and we both have "pick-me" attitudes. P and I both muted the server and disengaged for a while.

Later on, D messaged P and I both. D claimed his reaction to what was said was because of his autism. P had had enough and said "buddy, you don't get to say that" and D got mad and blocked P. I told D I was going no-contact and D could block me if he wanted. D called me an asshole and I blocked him.

It's probably worth noting that my autism means that I have difficulty interpreting people's messages in text form and tend to take what people say at face value. Sometimes D getting overly confrontational triggered my anxiety and caused me to feel very uneasy around him since it was in text form and there was no vocal tone to decipher (if that makes sense). The thing is, I don't think D is necessarily not autistic, I just think D has some internalized ableism and doesn't really understand the nuances of the autism spectrum enough to make a sound judgement and he should have maybe not made claims about an identity he knows very little about, but maybe P and I might have been a little harsh because we'd been stewing on our feelings for so long.

What are these acronyms?

[emaistome]

Alicent and her "liberation"

I wholeheartedly believe that to tell a feminist story, you have to at least tell a story that make sense, this is unfortunately not what Ryan Condal and his team did with Alicent Hightower, in season two of HOTD.

I kept defending them and their choices, until that last scene of season two, and although it breaks my heart that Alicent “sacrificed” Aegon, I have to admit that the things she said around it bother me a bit more.

Before anything, I want to point out that the patriarchy is not some fable, some story that they tell women to make them be submissive; it’s a setting that affects the lives of every living woman in the world (both the real world and asoif). It restricts the freedom of women, and put their very lives at stakes all the time. It manifests itself everywhere, so much that it’s easy to make people believe that “It’s just the order of things”. Sure, women can try to fight against these rules, like Rhaenyra (to a certain extent) who did not care about the prejudice against women and their sexuality, and vied for the throne despite having bastards. Or like Rhaenys, Visenya and Alyssane who despite all of their faults, did try to make the lives of women in the seven kingdoms better.

Alicent did believe that men were more fit to rule, while she thought that women were supposed to “guide them gently”. Although she believed that Rhaenyra should sit the Iron Throne, and she also tried to be named regent, so it’s inconsistent, but I digress. However, I don’t blame her for that. Alicent did not make these rules; these rules existed long before she was born, and that’s what she has been taught since she was a child. Alicent suffered a lot from them. In fact all her life, all she did was trying to make a better life for herself and her children under these rules. For the entire season one, Alicent was shown as the person who suffered more from gendered oppression in the show. Her reasoning for taking the throne was valid her actions were understandable and motivated by self preservation. If they Rhaenyra took it, she would need to kill all of Alicent’s children.

Somehow, season two episode height, had her apologizing for all the actions she made out of self-preservation. And you can smell that some 21st century writer was the mind behind her reasoning, but I’ll say more on that later.

Multiple people in charge of the show, talked about Alicent needing to be humbled. Why does she need to be humbled and apologize for her sins? While a man like Viserys, who cut his wife to take a child out of her and raped Alicent is glorified. They had her recite all the misogynistic criticism the general audience had against her, and apologize for it.

Alicent tried to be the perfect friend for Rhaenyra, more than she should have. For some reason people still find ways to blame her. She was groomed since she was 14 by Viserys and Otto; she is blamed for that, as if she had any agency in the situation.

Alicent should betray her family, disobey her father to protect Rhaenyra, do the opposite of what she was told since she was a child. And it would still not mean anything because neither her, nor Rhaenyra have power in the situation.

She was raped by Viserys as a 15/16 years old girl, again it must be her fault as a 15 years old girl, and she manipulated poor old Viserys who had no idea that he was grooming a young girl. And they always use the argument that it was fine at the time. The discourse around it resembles the discourse around Lolita when it was first published more than 50 years ago, and people still haven’t moved from blaming young girls for the actions of the men around them.

If they have a little bit of conscience, they will tell you that they feel bad for Alicent when she was a child, but not for the adult she became. But the adult is the direct result of the abuse that she suffered when she was a child. And again she fears that her children could be killed, a valid fear. Why would I blame her for doing what she could to save her family? Apparently Ryan Condal and Sara Heiss, think that she should apologize for that. “I lost my way; or rather it was taken away from me.” Implies that she realizes that getting married and having babies was never what she wanted, but something that was forced on her. But in the same scene (just like in the entire season), she praises Viserys even thought he was the main person who took her agency away from her. And I understand that victims can cope by idealizing their abusers, but viserys did not abuse only her, he abused her and her children, and clearly didn’t value her sacrifices. I think it came to that point where she didn’t even need a “liberation arc” to realize that, yet she still praises him.

Let’s talk about her plans to run away. This is where the writing started to feel the most like a 21st century pseudo-feminist was in charge of this writing and was more attached to the idea of Alicent being free, instead of real freedom. Alicent planned to runaway with her daughter and her granddaughter to “breathe the open air, and finally be free”, but she doesn’t plan any money? It’s as if they were trying to make her sound dumb because Aegon and Larys were also planning to runaway but somehow they knew they had money somewhere. But Alicent? Nothing. I’m actually not nitpicking. The patriarchy actively refuses to grant women power or money, so that they could stay bound to the men around them, to their family. And she doesn’t have any skill to survive when she “wanders in the wilderness” she was raised a highborn lady in a castle life in the wilderness, without any family to protect her would kill her and her autistic daughter and granddaughter. Women usually stay in abusive environments not only because they were brainwashed, but also because they feared that the world outside might be less kinder to them. It takes a minimum of logic to understand that the patriarchy can’t be kinder to a lowborn unknown woman than Alicent who sat in the royal small council, where only her and Rhaenyra sat as women in the seven kingdoms. She is still top two, of the most privileged women in Westeros, running away would not make her situation better.

We have a a history of women actually running away from Westeros and not being free from the patriarchy. Saerra was sold to a brothel, Jorah’s wife was some man’s concubine and Daenerys, had all her money being stolen and was sold as a child bride to Khal Drogo.

There is not a single way to make that scene work, it’s not feminist, as it realizes nothing but making one of the most intelligent characters appear very dumb. And I’d rather have Alicent be misogynistic and intelligent than having her be liberated and dumb. Women in real life can be misogynistic and perpetuate the system that made them suffer because that the only way they can survive. But also how can I blame her for her own oppression, how can I ask her to apologize for her actions as a victim.

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

Your blog is my guilty pleasure lol, it's so validating to read your very matter of fact rebuttals after years of being talked over & down to in the fandom. Being in the fan space & hearing the way people talked about how much more "female gaze coded" Z/tara was made me feel like I was betraying other women by not liking Zuko or Zutara the way "real mature" women did.

Funniest thing is, when i watched the show as a kid as an older sister, someone with talent/skills that nobody else understood, a girl who felt she had to be mature all the time, Kataang instantly became my otp. Katara was living my dream of a fun, cute boy sweeping me off my feet, telling me I was special and going on a magical journey with me-- I had the HUGEST crush on Aang as a little girl. It was so lame growing older and hearing near constantly from the fandom how stupid and unbelievable the idea that Katara actually had feelings for Aang was, and how it's a "male" (aka: bad) fantasy, when honestly Zuko's angsty ass was far from dream boyfriend material in my opinion it made me feel gaslit fjhdidjskj.

Genuine Z/tara fans are fine, I totally get the appeal of the red/blue enemies to lovers sparks fly ship, but the meanest and loudest of your crewmates and the way they act like their tastes are the Correct ones has been just. ridiculous for many years. And why do those types always feel the need to start the conversation by bashing Kataang every single time?? I started with a positive opinion of their ship when I entered the fandom as a teen, even liked a few arts and whatnot as a "what-if," but all the nonsense has left me with a bad taste in my mouth.

So yeah, thanks for this space to complain about the experiences we've had lol. I've had one too many conversations about ATLA & how good it is interrupted with the other person going "well except for the Main Romance, that was shit and Z/tara should have been endgame" not to be Worn Out. Like if in their opinion the show is *perfect* except that One thing.... maybe the problem lies elsewhere?

Yup, that's definitely a pattern I noticed: zutarians are SO many and SO loud, that even though a pretty large part of the fandom disagrees with their takes (regardless of enjoying the canon ships or not) most of them just... didn't talk about it because they didn't want to be harrassed or talked down to or be hit with the "well, we are the majority therefore we're right" argument.

It's part of why I was innitially shocked at how much support this blog got. I thought I just gonna be in my own little bubble of the fandom, but nope, I got sooooo many messages of "FINALLY! Somebody said it!"

And looking back, I should've noticed something was off. There's a reason ATLA's ending was not one of these disasters that basically nukes and kills 90% of the fandom and live in infamy as one of the worst falls from grace ever, How I Met Your Mother style, even though both shows had the fan favorite ship not end together.

It wasn't just that one was well-written and the other wasn't (though that clearly affected the audience and critical reception of these endings, both at the time and through the decades).

HIMYM was a case of "The actual endgame ship was loathed by nearly everyone while the rival pairings were almost universally beloved."

ATLA was a case of "70% of the fandom likes this ship - of these fans, 25% are multishipers that also like the canon ships, 25% only like the ship in fanfic but don't actually want it to be a thing, 25% loves it but can accept it not being canon at point because they acknowledge it'd be rushed, and the 25% are the ones that would burn down Bryke's house if they could, so in reality only a fraction of the fandom didn't accept the Kataang/Maiko endgame, while the overwhelming majority was either happy about it or indifferent to it"

And that's without taking into account that Avatar got new popularity boosts through the years that lead to plenty of people that had Zutara being hyped up for years being disappointed when they realized "Oh, it was popular because of fanon shit, not because it actually would have made sense story-wise" or people who reached that same conclusion after rewatching the show.

I think that's why Zutarians have such a victim complex and want to pretend Bryke and Kataang/Maiko fans are "oppressing" them - they've been dominating the conversation for years, and not only got no results out of it, they're now losing that "leverage" too. They're no longer in an echo-chamber, they need to use actual arguments that make sense if they want their opinion to be almost universal and they just can't do it because their ship was never that good to begin with.

[bukatra]

I've watched spn and no I don't think wincest is inherent to the show??? Like maybe u don't have siblings that act the way they do, which is fair- most don't. And ofc they're codependent and toxic or whatever, but it's still very much brotherly love. Or if anything, Dean practically raised Sam. Wouldn't you do anything for the child u raised?

Your entire argument relies on some nonexistent line of familial behaviour that *you* think devolves into an incestuous one. I think you're the one not understanding what you just saw. Maybe read up on family dynamics and reevaluate your thoughts on wincest. I don't want this to become a lengthy discussion on boundaries.

I also do feel the need to point out that most of the people that ship wincest are def talking about a romantic relationship which is just incorrect as per the writers, actors and literally everyone else saying its not romantic. But ppl are allowed to be crazy about fictional characters so I don't really have anything much to say on that.

Personally, heres what I think is happening *IN CANON* i.e, this is what i think is going through their heads and hearts during their actions onscreen:

Dean and Sam are codependant to the point that they dont have a sense of self outside of their relationship and role of the other brother. Most of the emotional support/intimacy/nurturing/trust/etc that adults typically get from romantic or sexual partners is gotten via their brother. They struggle to create bonds with other people that are beyond friend or casual sexual partners. Deans connection to Castiel is a rare exception. They fill very similar roles in their day to day life as husbands or wives do in normal peoples lives. Due to their lifes, privacy is near impossible and its so rare that its almost seen as a breach of trust to keep anything at all a secret(i.e, having interests, posessions, relationships, etc that the brother is unaware of is shoking and both have gotten angry about the other having anything in their lives that they are unaware of)

So basically, a large amount of what constitutes their relationship are things typically attributed to sexual or romantic partners.

This is what is often referred to as the canonical wincest or weirdcest.

Do i think they had sex canonically? Hell no.

Do i think they ever talked about their relationship canonically? Hell no.

Do i think they knew that their relationship skewed way closer to the kind of dynamic usually seen in couples? Yes.

In fact i think that most of the back and forth of their dynamic (pushing the other one away only to yank him back in, one season they think they need to split up. The next season they are saying thwyll never leave each other) is just them becoming aware that they are basically acting emotionally the way most romantic partners do, freaking out, trying to distance themselves only to realize they are all they have. They cant reach this level of intimacy with someone else.

I dont think they ever did more than hug. But emotionally they filulfill the same needs normally found in a commited sexual and romantic relationship.

Perhaps as someone who is asexual and aromantic whose had relationships that were long term committed relationships where we cohabited and raised pets and children together all while being very reliant on each other for emotional support and intimacy and validation without any sex or romance involver, I am able to look at these two brothers and easily see that they are basically in a queer platonic partnership.

[utilitycaster]

I may have mentioned this phrase before, but I was introduced to "would anyone be swayed by further discussion" in college to put an end to debates where people simply would not agree and (in that case) to just put it to a vote or make the decision that was being discussed. The thing is, on the internet there's not the same impetus to wrap it up already because we're doing this all asynchronously and aren't actually people who need to work together in the first place, and so two differing opinions can endlessly sling mud without real consequence, and I think the discourse has reached the point of "you're stupid" "no you're stupid", and to be clear, I have participated heavily.

I don't actually mind if the discourse remains that way, for reasons that will become apparent in the course of this post, but here's what I propose: this isn't the kind of discussion that vagueing forever can solve. It requires actual back and forth with opportunities for requests for more information (eg: if I'm not understanding the themes of this campaign, what are they, in your own words, and how are they being demonstrated throughout the course of the campaign) and a cessation of ad hominems and at least the appearance of an assumption of good faith on both sides.

Here is the other thing, though: it is my hypothesis that most people posting about why they don't like Campaign 3 are in earnest: they don't like Campaign 3, they are articulating why (perhaps imperfectly! perhaps even incorrectly, in your eyes), and that's that. I think the people complaining about those people, ultimately, are mad that their personal preferences aren't shared by all. Or, to descend back into the mud for a moment: I think when I call you an idiot it hurts your feelings, and when you call me an idiot I say "Likely thing for an idiot to do." I think if the discourse continues, anyone who dislikes Campaign 3 will keep posting and say "wow it's a little annoying that people keep complaining about me expressing my opinion but them's the breaks, I know what I'm about" and the people complaining about those posts are simply going to feel worse and worse, no matter how much they yell about the other side's stupidity, because what they really want is agreement and validation. In other words, there's a pretty clear advantage, because one side doesn't rely on the good opinion or really any actions of the other. Or in the words of what I consider to be a far superior campaign, you need me more than I need you.

So with that in mind. If you'd like to make a good faith attempt to convince me of Campaign 3's excellence (and I can only speak for myself but if anyone else wants to do this, be my guest), my inbox is open [note: if you're doing this, you'll need to be off anon as I'm not carrying on a discussion via 20 annoying asks that clog everyone's dash - we're using replies], you can @ me, and if you are blocked and you're someone who does not have a specific history of direct harassment of which I'm aware, have a friend message me and I'll unblock you for the duration of this discussion. Ad hominems in the course of this specific discussion constitutes an immediate failure on behalf of the person saying them. The focus is on the text of Campaign 3; bringing in external circumstances as supporting information is valid if relevant but I hope it's obvious that "WELL IT'S THEIR CAMPAIGN AND IT'S ENTITLED TO CRITICIZE A THING THEY KNOWINGLY PUT ON THE INTERNET" is an automatic forfeiture as well due to the utter lack of argument and the fact that I cannot be swayed of the belief that little is above criticism and even less above judgement. Otherwise, I'll leave your posts and inbox alone while saying whatever the hell I want and you can deal with that accordingly. You want to make this an actual discussion of literary criticism in which you need to structure arguments and provide evidence instead of yelling "but I like it and I think it's brilliant so you have to agree with me or you're a mean anti-intellectual [broadly despised group]"? Sure. I can do that. I think most people who agree with me can also do that and would love to.

(this is nonrebloggable because I don't think it needs to spread, but feel free to link it. Also, I hope it's obvious: yes I'm aware I sound like an anime villain; it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make to either elevate the discussion to the point where something can get done; or call your bluff and keep doing what I was doing)

[belit0]

Would you be willing to write angst where Madara and indra (separately) finally broke the last straw and they and their lover have a heated argument. It escalates to the point where she threatens to take off her ring. How would they react. (The argument was their fault.)

I am convinced Indra is one of those persons who says hurtful things without feeling it just to make the other one angry, and no one can change my mind.

Indra

He knows the argument is his fault, he is aware of how he pressures (Y/N), and how she feels lesser for not being able to give him a child. It is no one's fault really, only the Otsutsuki's impatience and helplessness for not being able to control nature itself.

Indra is mighty in every way, the most powerful man in the world, but he is failing at the one fundamental task of his present time: to conceive an heir and start a clan with his own blood.

He does not know where the failure lies, he has no idea if it is because of him or (Y/N), all he cares about is how he fills his wife with his seed every single night, hoping for an immediate result that never comes. It is frustrating, having achieved the most difficult goal of his life, conquered everything he wanted, and not being able to achieve the most common and ordinary task of any man.

An afternoon of problems is when he explodes against his beloved, bearing the pressures of his followers and resolving situations within the village he managed to create after his victory. Everyone counts on him, everyone needs him, and the pressure of authority becomes exhausting.

(Y/N), worried about her inability to grant him an heir, seeks validation and reaffirmation from him. She just needs to hear everything is okay, that they will get through it together, and that patience will be the greatest virtue for them both to get through the predicament, finally getting a child. The woman goes to her husband's private training camp, where she always counts on being able to find him. The man senses her arrival and stops his practice to give her his attention. "It's nothing urgent, my love, I'm just worried."

With a cold stare, Indra hides his concern, refusing to let his wife see the worry is shared. Unable to show he feels fear about it too, he chooses a distant stance, kicking the problem down on her, "You should be, it's been a while since we started trying."

"You talk like it's my fault...we have no idea what's going on and-" (Y/N) is interrupted by curt words, throwing responsibility on her actions, as if she doesn't want to have a family with him.

"I'm not certain about that, and I'm afraid consequences must happen soon." The Otsutsuki glares at her, red-eyed from his height, inwardly regretting not knowing how to put his feelings into words without hurting her in the process. He knows his position will only lead to trouble, but he can't do anything about it, riding a train with no brakes.

"Consequences...would you risk all our years together for a stone in the road...? Indra, I've been with you from the beginning, long before everything that happened..." There are tears in (Y/N)'s eyes, threatening an early free fall down her face. The woman stares at him in disbelief, genuinely mortified with every response she receives. Does her company mean nothing to him, the unconditional love she gave him through all their moments?

"My life was built upon losing people I believed to love. If I had to lose you for this, it wouldn't be news, (Y/N)." His sentences are like many kunai burying themselves in different parts of her body, and the woman can do nothing but rethink everything until now.

"You should probably keep this then." She throws the gift he gave her on their wedding night, a beautiful ring engraved and embedded in red gemstones, at his feet. Pain is visible on her features, and the anger with which she turns away from him is palpable.

Worst of all, Indra does not feel any of the words he said. He would never abandon her, even if it meant not being able to bear children of his own blood. He cannot control the image he pretends to have in the outside world, even if that includes hurting those he truly cares about.

(Y/N) has been with him since before his curse, was with him during his eternal fight with Ashura, and helped him build the place he now calls his. She is his safe space, his little home, but he can't help the awful unreasonable words flowing out of his mouth in frustration, anger, and rage. She knows him, and understands he's usually a pain in the ass to argue with, but this time she seems to have been truly affected by his statements.

Maybe he took it too far, without even meaning to.

He picks up the ring at his feet and puts it in his pocket before deciding to run, get away from the place, and find a distant and remote village to kill every single one of its inhabitants. Indra lashes out at the life of all the innocents he finds in the tiny town, destroying children, women, and fathers alike.

His anger is directed at himself, raging at his inability to control and suppress his reflex to hurt others. Of course, ironic to analyze his own self while dismembering humans left and right.

Madara

It is in the early evening when Madara decides to leave in search of (Y/N). Having arrived earlier than usual, he wanted to surprise her at home, but she was nowhere to be found. He opted to go to Izuna and ask about her, his brother always being everywhere and nowhere, knowing the whereabouts of every person in the clan.

The younger Uchiha recounts how he saw her walking a while ago, presumably towards the local Uchiha market, intending to buy something to make Madara some dinner. How Izuna knows so many details is none of his concern, yet he is grateful for the information.

Arriving at the market, he scans the place for her presence, too tired to use the Sharingan and deciding to do it the old-fashioned way. He walks among the stalls and greets every person who dares to speak to him, being stopped many more times than he would like at this hour.

As he talks to a little old lady, he sees her in the distance, having a very animated conversation with a man he recognizes from his army. He is an average warrior, one of the many Uchiha who never managed to develop a Sharingan, and he is too close to his wife for his liking.

Quickly excusing himself, Madara frees from the old woman to get closer to where (Y/N) is, without revealing himself to her but close enough for the man to notice. Behind his wife's back, the Uchiha stares at him with eyes full of hatred and menace, causing the warrior to flee in terror without even saying goodbye to her. Confused, (Y/N) turns around to see what spooked the man, caused him to be so horrified, and meets her husband face to face.

Judging by his expression, it looks as if he has just met Tobirama, and the woman is extremely embarrassed when he lifts her over his shoulder, abducting her from the market and concluding her shopping moment.

"Madara what the fuck! Put me down now!" She yells angrily, slamming a fist into his back and trying to lift her head to keep all the blood from going to that area. He doesn't comply with her demand until a few minutes later when they are in the privacy of their home, and away from any prying eyes.

"What got into you?!" (Y/N) exclaims indignantly, trying to understand what could have affected him enough to not even say hello.

"Who the fuck was that man and why were you conversing so cheerfully with him?" He asks with both loathing and resignation, expecting a terrible answer from his wife. Maybe it was her lover, maybe it was the person she would want to replace him with, or maybe she already had.

"He's one of the guards you assigned to take care of me today, you idiot! He was with me all day, under your own orders! Don't you even register what you decree, all day locked up in your office?!"(Y/N) is overcome with indignation, being indirectly accused of unfaithfulness wrongfully.

The Uchiha is speechless, not knowing what to say about it. He deals with so many things per day and at the same time, he tends to forget one or two matters. He feels disgusted for having assigned such a weak warrior as his wife's bodyguard, but even more so for not being able to remember it. The stress was consuming him to such an extent he was beginning to forget important things, skipping some and erasing others altogether.

"Even if that hadn't been the case, seeing me talk to another man doesn't give you the right to freak out like that! Interacting with people of the opposite sex doesn't mean I'll be looking to cheat on you, Madara! Grow the hell up, and learn to respect me as your wife, or it ends here!"

Enraged, (Y/N) storms out of the house, leaving a stunned and shocked Uchiha in the middle of the room. The only thing Madara is thankful for is the fact she didn't take off her ring, which could mean two things: either she didn't notice, or she doesn't see it as serious enough to genuinely leave him. Either way, he feels terribly guilty, and can't understand how he lets himself be driven by jealousy like that.

Unfounded jealousy, even worse.

The Uchiha is left pondering in solitude before he goes off to find her, determined to apologize on his knees if that's what it takes to get (Y/N) not to be angry at him anymore.

[trainsinanime]

I sometimes reblog posts about US Americans being weird here, but honestly I don't love how angry or smug most of these posts are. It's just that angry and smug posts tend to get more traction, and so they get reblogged more, and so I tend to see them and reblog them myself. Hm, maybe there's a lesson for all of social media and for me in particular here.

Anyway, what I want out of these posts is not for any US Americans here to feel bad; it's just "funny" and perhaps, perhaps a tiny bit of consideration for how being US American means you experience the internet on easy mode.

This is not your personal fault. Nor is it ethically wrong. It's just a thing that exists, and it may be worth thinking about it.

Examples of that easy mode include:

It's your language. The vast majority of people on the internet need to know a second language to at least participate passively, let alone actively post. It's not just the internet; for e.g. my job, all documentation for all the tools is only in English, and I was required to listen to English lectures and write both my bachelor's and master's thesis in English, my second language, to pass. That's why e.g. posts about bilingualism tend to cause a bit of a discussion, because knowing a second language isn't a special skill but a necessary survival tool.

It is your world-wide culture. The list of most popular video games, TV shows, movies and songs tend to be fairly similar across the world (in particular the part of it we call it the western world, another discussion that I'll get into below), and they're dominated by the output of US media. There is no equivalent to e.g. Disney anywhere outside of the US.

It's your debates and discussions. Because of the huge importance the US has economically and culturally (not to mention militarily), we tend to discuss US topics a lot, and we tend to discuss them from an American point of view.

This introduces American oddities into a lot of the world. For example, I'm a STEM guy, I have a STEM education, a STEM job and my primary hobbies are also STEM based, so what I notice are imperial measurements like feet and inches. Those are not "one of two equally valid choices", they're the unique hobby of the English-speaking countries, and within them, increasingly only the US. But we still tend to see them here as if they were a normal usual thing, and often europeans (including me) feel compelled to provide translations into these units.

But it's not limited to that, court room dramas are another example where courts in the English-speaking world tend to work very differently from those in the rest of the world. E.g. there's no pleading guilty or innocent in most of the world. There are boundless more examples of that, and these things can be grating every once in a while.

As I said before, I don't think there's any moral value here either way. You're not wrong for being an American (but you're also not better because of it). As I hinted at before, I'm still in a very privileged position myself, being from a wealthy European country, and my culture even without Disney is still far closer to that of the US than it is to most of the rest of the world. I'm sitting in the very same glass house, just maybe a different corner (TODO fix this metaphor before posting).

For example, I'm talking about court rooms and inches versus meters, but if we're thinking about history and ethics, there's deep issues in both of them. When it comes to measurements, it's ultimately the question of whether you use the measurements of London or those of Paris. For most of the world it's a colonial imposition either way. You can make arguments for why one is better for technology than the other (and as you can probably guess, I have strong opinions here), but in the grand scheme of things, neither of them is more "ethical" or more "universal", not really anyway. Same with the way legal systems work, where again, countries either adopted (and more often than not were forced to adopt) either the English system or the French system (with quite a few countries choosing to adopt the German version of the French system as well).

I know that's a boring digression but it's something that's usually missing from these posts, especially ones written by europeans, including some I've written myself. I don't really have a conclusion to any of this either, except perhaps that this is something that's worth being aware of.

[amethyst0cean]

My sister was telling me the other night that the episode "Double Cross My Heart" is hated by most and I wanted to give my thoughts of it. After watching it with her, I think it's a good episode overall 😊

Sam having a crush on Danny, while also having feelings for Gregor makes sense in this episode. Having crushes with more than one person at a time does happen and it's not unusual; Danny has a crush on three girls at once (Paulina, Valerie, and Sam) which has been shown throughout the series. Sam having one with more than one person as well seems fair to me in that regard, and Danny being uncomfortable with that shows that he also has feelings for Sam that he's unaware of in that moment. It's an early depiction of jealously.

Danny makes a horrible decision in the episode to spy on Sam during her date with Gregor. Danny thinks Gregor has something to do with the Guys in White since they keep showing up at the same time to go after Danny while Gregor is around. I also believe him feeling a little jealous and not quite understanding that it relates to him liking Sam also plays an important part of why he wanted to see what was going on during their date.

Sam and Gregor kiss (Danny's POV): Danny sees something he didn't want to see, and it hurts him. He was expecting to find a relation between Gregor and the Guys in White but instead he sees that Sam and Gregor like each other more than what he thought. I understood how he felt here because it sucks seeing someone you like kiss someone else 🥺 Although of course he shouldn't have been spying in the first place 😅

Sam and Gregor kiss (Sam's POV): I really like that we get to see Sam's POV of her relationship in this episode as well. She asks Gregor if they think they are going a little too fast, and he respects how she feels and they both decide to take it slow. Sam being honest with her feelings was great to see as well and shows that she knows how to handle herself well in these situations 🥹

Danny confronts Sam about what he saw and she is reasonably angry at him for spying on her during her date. He still mentions his suspicions about Gregor and the Guys in White and Sam tells him that he just doesn't want to see her happy with someone. Both of their feelings are valid here but Danny was still in the wrong for breaking Sam's trust and boundaries and Sam had every right to be upset with Danny for that. Tucker lets Danny know afterwards that he can hang out with Sam and Gregor for him and will let him know if he sees anything suspicious from Gregor. I really liked seeing their friendship dynamic here; that Tucker was able to help Danny feel a little better with his idea and be there for him 🥹

Tucker is obnoxious third-wheeling Sam and Gregor's date (which was pretty funny at times), and he later tells Danny that he didn't see anything strange about Gregor which confirms to Danny that he was wrong about what he thought with Gregor and the Guys in White. I really do appreciate that Danny respects Sam's space after their argument and he doesn't try spying on her again.

Gregor confronts Danny knowing that Danny doesn't like him and learns from Danny that he was worried about Sam. When asking Danny if he likes Sam, Danny hesitates for a moment, and that lets Gregor know that Danny is unsure of his feelings. It gives Gregor free reign to ask Sam out, which Danny was definitely displeased with. He should let Sam know he likes her soon 🥹

I really like how Sam responds to Gregor here. He expresses to Sam that he wants to be more than friends with her, but doesn't want Tucker around with them because he thinks he's a loser. Sam immediately stands up for Tucker and says that he's one of her best friends and he comes with the whole package if Gregor wants to be with Sam. Gregor gets frustrated and starts showing his true colours, that he has a fake accent, name, and lied about where he's from to impress Sam. He really did seem like a cool guy throughout the episode until this point which was a shame that he had to be a sleazy person 🥲 I'm glad that Gregor was not a part of the Guys in White, that he had his own plot separate from them. Sam showing that she cares about her friendship with Tucker was also nice to see during this scene 🥹

I love the ending as well when Sam and Danny make up; where they both apologize to each other. Sam wasn't in the wrong for not believing Danny about Gregor because she had no clue he's been lying to her, and Danny didn't know that either of course. He also apologizes for betraying Sam's trust and spying on her, which I appreciate. Danny can make bad decisions and still make up for it afterwards 😊 Seeing Sam's insecurity about no one who's genuine liking her is really sad to me because even though she's a hard core goth with a tough exterior to her at times, deep down she wants to be liked for who she is. Danny lets her know how amazing of a person she is and also showing how much he likes her as well (we all see it Danny 😏).

Overall I really enjoyed this episode 😊 Sam, Danny, and Tucker all had good roles during it and you see how much they all care about each other. They all felt like themselves too; they didn't feel out of character to me. I may be a little bias since I like Sam and Danny's relationship 🥹 The only thing I wish we saw more of is Danny and Sam's relationship progress more throughout the series instead of just a couple of episodes and then not do anything about it later from what happens in them (the Ember episode in S1 with Danny and Sam blushing at each other a lot as an example). From the episodes I have seen of them though, I really like how their friendship and relationship is portrayed and I can't wait to see more of it as time goes (I hope they show it more) 🥹