#both of them feel so relatable to me
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Everyone talks about wether theyâre more of a Crowley or Aziraphale but does anyone else feel like some cursed combination of Beelzebub and Aziraphale?
#both of them feel so relatable to me#I love all the stuff Azi likes and my dream is to own a rare bookstore but (specifically season 2) beelzebub feels like half my personality#also my style is like a strange mix between maggie and beelzebub
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In the world of heavy metals, love is denser than hate!
#Poorly drawn SVSSS#SVSSS#luo bingge#luo binghe#ask#Is that right? Two different character tags? I think that is right.#I'm calling myself out with screenshotting the asks with the dates because my full ask box has become a problem I'm determined to solve.#I promise you that if I did not respond to your ask it was because I 1) *really* wanted to hold on to it to make a doodle reply#or 2) really was so touched by the message and got overwhelmed#So expect many year + old asks suddenly gaining a reappearance! I'm going to get to them ALL.#Back to Luo Binghe (both versions). You see...the substance he is made with has a chemical reaction to affection.#Like how a pokemon has multiple paths to evolution depending on it's friendship points or exposure to random stones#so to does he evolve into various forms. I feel like Bingge (Ht) would be a noble gas. Unable to form bonds#I could also see him as a Halogen-type of element! Highly reactive and only truly found in manufactured environments.#And Binghe (Lv) would be an alkaline earth metal (+2). Sturdy. Forms bond better but not freely giving them away.#this is the second time I've related characters to elements - and I am far less familar with Scum Villian so please feel free to chime in.#I could be way off base here and I am very down for someone to talk chemistry and character themes.#Thank you all for the love you have given my silly little LBH. It means a lot to me B*)#Don't...don't look too hard at the lack of mark on his forehead here. I gave up. It's just...hidden behind his bangs.
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sin eater
#sorry its been a minute!!! the horrors. you understand.#anyways yall ready for another gloom tag essay because here we go!!!#im constantly thinking about the ramifications of uzi literally eating cyn and her now being apart of her.#specifically how it impacts uzi mentally. like dgmw i LOVE the silly cyntail shenanigans in fanart (ive also contributed to this) however#when i really think about it in relation to uzi's arc i go crazy insane#uzi is a character who is grasping for control after a lifetime of not having it.#she has no control over how her peers treat her. she has no control over khan neglecting her for reasons that arent her fault.#she quite literally has no control over the solver taking her over and making her do monstrous things against her will#which solidifies her feelings of being a freak monster who everyone was right to outcast and mistreat.#because im Unwell i interpret her calling herself god as a way to convince herself of having control- and to lock away feelings of impurity#if anyone is in control- if anyone is loved and cherished despite any and all wrong doings- its a god.#and that all comes to a head when she eats the heart of cyn thereby destroying the AS- a literal manifestation of a corrupted god- for good#finally taking back control from the entity that had been terrorizing and traumatizing both her and her loved ones. but did she really?#cyn is apart of her now. powerless sure- but that doesnt take away the horrors she wrought previously#and even so- has uzi ever stopped being just a host? do you think shes terrified of cyn regaining power out of the blue?#do you think uzi ever stops feeling like a monster?#âsin eatingâ was a thing that happened where someone would consume ritual foods to take on the sins of a recently deceased person#thus absolving said deceased person of any sins and putting them onto the sin eater. being a sin eater ensured eternal damnation.#and i just think about that a lot. when applying that (symbolically ofc(somewhat literally. she very much is a cyn eater)) to what uzi did.#âgloom you're reading way too much into thisâ THE LITTLE GOTH ROBOT. MAKES ME INSANE IN THE HEAD. OK!!!!!#gloom.art#murder drones#murder drones fanart#murder drones uzi#uzi murder drones#uzi doorman#uzi md#md uzi#uzi fanart
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âYour hairâs gotten longer.âÂ
Itâs conscious effort that keeps him from tucking the strands behind his ear, from taking the knife at his hip and shearing it all off. He keeps his stance focused, attentive, thereâs little else he can do when heâs taken so completely after his mother when it comes to his hair. His father scratches his chin, the clouds of his beard snaking about his finger like mist parting for mountain-peaks. Aresâ chin is still child-smooth. He can feel the tickle of his over-long fringe against his soft jaw. Thereâs no heart in his chest, but still he feels as though a pulse is lodged in his throat.Â
Father sighs, put-upon, disappointed, and Ares feels a slight tremor start in his calves from holding himself so tense. âWell done, Ares. Go clean yourself up and get some rest. Phoebus will want to look you over later.âÂ
He should be ecstatic to be praised by his father. Over-the-moon with joy. There should be pride emanating from every pore of his body, the blood on his skin should be sweeter than ambrosia.Â
Instead, he bows, manages a soft âthank you, Fatherâ around the lump in his throat and immediately flees the room. A mild âmake sure to trim your hairâ hits the back of his head like a spear through the skull. He almost wishes the great door had slammed on his foot so he would have reason to feel this horrid in his retreat. Â
Phoebus Apollo is waiting for him in his infirmary.Â
Heâs gilded as ever, gold from crown to heel. Perfect like the statues they carve of him in his temples. He has a smile for Ares when he sees him, a crinkle at the edges of his pretty eyes from the weight of his joy. Ares is waiting to see the crack in the marble, to see if thatâs the chip thatâll reveal his fangs.
âBrother,â he greets, and his voice is warm - like the arms that embrace him, his voice is so warm, âWelcome back. Iâve heard youâve done well.â Â
Thereâs a tremble in Aresâ fingers he hadnât noticed before. Strain from carrying his sword for so many days, a throb from wounds he hadnât noticed heâd accrued. âHeard? Thereâs already gossip?âÂ
Phoebus blinks, disarming, demure, coquettish, âBut of course,â and Phoebusâ voice is honey to Aresâ gravel, the juxtaposition is grating on his skin, âItâs Olympus. The gossip began long before you set your course.â Those warm hands lead him further into the room, bodily sits him on the chaise, pulls his helmet from his head. Itâs all one, unbroken motion, âItâs summer alas, so I could not watch your war myself, but I hear it was quite the decisive victory.âÂ
A thousand thoughts run on horseback through his mind then.Â
Did Father overhear some terrible slander that pre-emptively disappointed him? Was Aresâ victory merely a rumour, a bet his father hadnât bothered to take? Was the gossip more enticing than the stark truth? That Ares wasnât some child toddling about in the shadow of his sister, that his sword and spear werenât merely for show - heâd think such a thing would warrant celebration. Not -
âOh my,â Phoebus is in front of him, pleasant warmth more sticky heat with how close heâs pressed himself into Aresâ space. From this angle, Ares can see the multi-coloured flecks of his eyes, like shards of golden glass suspended in ichor. From this angle, with his hand so gently holding his hair, were Ares to blink too hard, heâd swear Phoebus looked just like his mother. âYour hairâs grown long again.âÂ
He pushes Phoebus off with such force that he bangs into the wall. Itâs Phoebus, it wonât make even the impression of a scratch on him, but Ares wishes it would. Wishes heâd hit his shoulder or crack his neck or hit his head just hard enough for all that perfect, gilded gold to bleed.Â
âIâm only here for you to heal me,â the tremble in his hand extends to his shoulder now. He flexes and unflexes his palm. Gods what he would give to just have a sword - âDonât waste time with the pleasant-work.âÂ
Phoebus huffs, adjusts the fit of his himation, â...Only because weâre meant to be celebrating your victory.â He crosses the room in two great strides, his hair a swirling tempest behind him as he gathers his poultices and wraps. âThe only reason Iâll not throw you from the window is because we are meant to be celebrating your victory.â Â
Thereâs not enough acid in his tone for this to truly be a fight. Aresâ jaw clenches, he bites out a terse, âHow benevolent.âÂ
âArenât I?â Heâs got nectar and his sutures in hand, that focused look falling upon his face when he switches from overbearing busybody to Paeon of the Gods. âNow strip unfaltering Ares, let us see the measure of damage done to your indomitable flesh.âÂ
(Somewhere between the fifth set of stitches and the gentle frown that crosses Phoebusâ face when he notices the persistent tremble in his fingers, Ares pins his eyes to the far wall and asks, âWhat does it mean when Father says âwell doneâ?âÂ
Any other sibling would mock before they gave a true response. Any other sibling would laugh and dismiss it, would say that praise is praise and any lingering ill feeling is just the worst of the war still fogging his mind. Phoebus does not answer immediately. He doesnât make a single sound. The question settles like fetid water between them, unignorable, the scent right there on the tip of the tongue yet firmly unacknowledged. Ares closes his eyes and tries again to settle his squirming so he does not interfere with Phoebusâ work. The metallic snip of scissors cutting thread breaks the silence. Phoebus bids him to sit up and slides his warm palms up his back until his fingers tangle gently in the ends of his hair. He twists the dark red strands until heâs gathered it all into a neat handful, holding it loosely as he switches his scissors for his shearing blade. âYou should know it was not praise,â Phoebus says softly. The first of Ares cut hairs fall like viscera from his head. Phoebus treats each cutting with the sacredness of a blood-sacrifice. If he focused on the moment of tension right before the blade cuts though, Ares thinks he can imagine the agony of his sisterâs sacred birth. âIt is acknowledgement. Father thinks youâve done well so he says âwell doneâ.â
Gently, Phoebus releases him. Ruffles his head so all the extra hairs fall like red rain to the floor. Ares runs his fingers through the ends now curling against his ear. âHas he ever told you âwell doneâ?âÂ
A laugh, warm and gilded, âNo, and it would not make you feel better if he had.âÂ
Ares swallows down a thousand different questions. Phoebus wouldnât answer them, heâs infuriating like that. Instead, he clenches his teeth, the phantom of Fatherâs dizzying tangle of grey cloud-hairs persistent in the corner of his eyes. âCut it shorter.â
Phoebus doesnât protest. He never seems to say a word when it really matters.)
#ginger writes#âOh I'll post more about Apollo and Zeus!â posts about Ares and Apollo posts about Ares and Apollo posts about Ares--#Admittedly the triad of Zeus Ares Apollo is very interesting to me and it has a very fun place in my work so like#woe Ares/Apollo sibling relations be upon ye#I think Ares and Apollo are such fascinating foil cases btw - both for exploring masculinity and the complexes of the son#Strong masculine Ares with his dread and bloody war-work vs calm effeminate Apollo with his dread but distant archery#Apollo himself is not effeminate by the by but some of the things he's associated with tend to give that impression#I'm thinking specifically of an Achilles/Paris dichotomy between the two almost tbh#Where Achilles lives gloriously and fights gloriously but is ultimately destined for shame and an inglorious end#while Paris lives according to his feelings and desires yet prevails over both the pious and the powerful#That's the kind of relationship they have at this point#It's also very interesting looking at cases where parents (in this case Zeus) don't necessarily deride or shame a child#but certainly don't uplift them either#The distance between Zeus and Ares will never not be a favoured topic of mine#I love that shit so much actually#zeus#ares#apollo#writing#greek mythology#pursuing daybreak posting
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i'm having hyperfixation drought so i did what i did best and created a crossover episode
#trafficblr#life series#hermitcraft#qsmp#the drought's been crazy i had to make qsmp x life series/hermitcraft you don't understand i literally had to#i literally cannot tag all of the cubitos without going over the limit so i'm gonna use them to rant about these doodles instead#when i tell you that i think dl!pearl would've loved tilĂn i'm telling you i think she would've LOVED them like.#something about just wanting to find love at every turn but feeling unwanted spdihgpisadhfpa. and also tilĂn's name is similar to tilly LOL#the jelly egg is just like if the double life jelly pandas were just an egg that scar loves with all his heart and grian reluctantly accept#i think out of all the duos in qsmp. the one i would want to see in the dl soumate premise the most is slimeriana. it's the dysfunctionalit#i made a post in the past about pac and tango being my fav cubitos bcs they were both crazy cartoonish and like scientists#but it kinda felt like a disservice to leave mike and zedaph out because to me they're argubly crazier and more cartoonish#missa and tim are paired bcs i just really wanted an excuse to draw the wet cats and it just so happened they both have relations to death#skizz and jaiden as the lawyers who were SHOCKINGLY good at their jobs like they cooked with that one#(was also gonna draw joe and roier as bad lawyers but i was running outta steam)#someone's already made a post about grian and (el) quackity and their eye entities so not much elaboration needed there#fit and etho just give the same vibe to be as a dude who has a reputation and is well-known and seems intimidating#i also made fit's arms way too skinny and i don't like it...but i'm not gonna go back and change it now i spent embarassingly long on this#but then his silliness is brought out by The Narrative#foolish and bdubs is one of my favorite drawings because i just knew i wanted to highlight the silly height difference#just realized they're also both god-like figures at least at some point#cellbit and rendog. cat and dog and lore. enough said about their connection.#i couldn't decide who fit etoiles combat hungry anime protagonist vibe best bcs martyn was originally paired with him#but i wanted martyn with phil so i went with my second options: joel and gem#i couldn't draw them mid rage but essentially the title is derived from âWHO KILLED EMPANADAâ and âdo me a favor. die for me.â#philza minecraft and martyn inthelittlewood. they feel like twins but one is evil (it's martyn)#SOMETHING I FORGOT THAT I WISH I ADDED: BBH AND BIGB AS THE ENTITIES WHO LIE. I HATE MYSELF HOW COULD I FORGET THAT#if i were to pair impulse with someone it would be tubbo? either him or scar would've been with tubbo#and then lizzie i just did not know who i wanted to pair her with. no one really does it like her in my opinion#scott's someone i also had no idea who to put him with he's just so...him...
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thought about this thing for a while
it was extremely interesting to just analyze myself and get like a tier list in my head
#draw a character you like#fanart#my art#sketch#shadow milk cookie#luocha#lapis lazuli#shigaraki tomura#nagito komaeda#flowey#first one is simple - see other characters and the silly room comics and it'll explain itself also I'm embarassed to admit it a bit#like people would prooobably expect isat related stuff but isat is basically already gone from my brain in that sense#I do like drawing characters and the style is still extremely easy for me to work with#but like.... I'm not feeling like this is more than this??#like Loop is still in the silly room but only for so long before I get them out or just make them like a cat of the room#to be fair they're allll cats there in a way#Luocha was my to-go character ever since getting him after exams in 2023 and I can't find a character that better worked in that#Lapis is specifically pre-crystal gem one as I kind of dislike her new design but *shruggs* it's still nice#just not the one that left impression on me that's all#Tomura and Flowey are like The Characters of this blog AND of my drawing journey I love them a bit too much#still not the insane fan but my friends know just HOW MUCH I talked about them and both were in my life for years#I'd say Bill Cipher fits there too as a trio but sadly I was out of places and he's not a guilty fave he's the OG fave#the fave to rule them all and one of the two I still have good time returning to as well - other one is Twilight Sparkle#she didn't fit here too again too many in all-time faves sadly#Nagito is here bc I didn't know what even counted as a âguilty faveâ in my list#so I chose him as a character for the list bc Kokichi is too... nothing in my head like he has more stories#but I don't even care about his trial and I played through Nagito's one and actually did a lot to get his Island ending too#I love how you can see - all of them have a pattern like being blue or yellow and then there's Nagito#Tomura counts as blue even though he's more purple and wears black and red in the finale in my read he's in MVA outfit still and will be#tenko shimura
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That feeling when he can't stand to see you that way, no matter what you do, no matter what you sayđŠđđ
#scott pilgrims precious little life#scott pilgrim vs the world#spvtw#spto#scott pilgrim#wallace wells#lisa miller#scollace#kim pine#natalie adams#envy adams#don't rlly know if I like how this turned out but oh well;;;#hope its obvious that this is based on the song âScott Pilgrimâ which the creation the comics were inspired from#the lyrics always make me think of Wallace and Lisa's feelings for Scott every time I hear it#ofc you could also relate it to Kim especially since the singers voice kind of reminds me of her#but overall the lyrics fit these two much better since Scott never truly âsaw them that wayâ despite how long they've liked him#and they always seem happier to see him compared to Kim#Im surprised tho that I havent yet seen anyone draw these two together now that their dialogue parallels have been acknowledged more lately#also tho I wish more people pointed out that they both got cucked by red heads LOL#and Kim and Envy actually do look really similar when scott first meets them#makes me wonder if Scott subconsciously went for Envy since she reminded him of Kim (which would be fitting given that you could argue that#Envy dated Scott because he reminded her of Todd. Since he and Scott are confirmed to be meant to be seen as similar to one another#so much so that even their first and last names rhyme#last thing I'll add tho is that while Wallace and Lisa are very similar even personality wise#the one big difference is that despite that whole conclusion on vol4 of Scott not cheating on Ramona with Lisa because he loves her#the writers apparently think it would be âorganically correctâ for him to have an affair with wallace LMAO#but I guess we shouldn't be surprised since Wallace and Ramona are both in the front of the official valentines art which is clearly#a deptiction of Scotts wet dream or smth (oh and you could also argue that Wallace and Lisa parallel on that art since they're both#shirtless with white socks.. which could be a reference to how lisa wears skimpy clothes for Scott and Wallace often only wears boxers#to like sexually frustrate Scott for fun or smth
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oops all rock (springtime edition)
iâll be able to draw digitally again soon! ;w; in the meantime iâve been scribbling a lot on paperâŚ
could not wait for Soon, so i resorted to coloring it using the markup tool in default iphone photos app (donât do that ever again)
#my art#sos awl#debating whether to just dump my sketches from my soujourn to hell or save them to be transferred and finished as digital stuff#or like both idk. i donât know how ppl feel about WIPs#iâm happy to post art again ;w; thank you everyone who welcomed me back iâm slowly getting through everything i missed while i was yâknow#and thank you for the sweet messages while i was gone i am bbghkjh i need to calm myself and respond !!!! love#rock tumbling (sos)#story of seasons a wonderful life#bokumono#story of seasons#harvest moon#hm awl#harvest moon a wonderful life#bunny sighting đł i still have THOSE wips too#thereâs certain things i wanna prioritize once i can use my tablet again and those are one of them#but i will also probably post new stuff alongside finishing old unfinished stuffâŚ.. i hope that is OKâŚâŚ#idk iâll have to talk more later! right now i am nervous!!! i love you all!!!!#fanart#awl rock#bokujou monogatari#hm anwl#unfortunately this scum neet still has my entire heart so. most of the notebook is just him pulling goofy faces⌠sorryâŚâŚ..#also a lot of lumina and namiâŚ. and mollyâŚ. they r really coolâŚ#ceci is also cool and iâve drawn a collage of her that i just. never posted#mostly drawing HMDS related stuff about the descendant characters#OK IâLL STOP TAGBLOGGING#i am once again back in DS for girl hell. i want to make a series of posts about differences in the English vs the Japanese version#and also fun secret things related to DS#this is all in the future i gotta finish all my unfinished stuffâŚ. uuuuâŚ.#i love you all mmmmmwah (i cast sleepy time blanket and sleep forever)
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iâm having illario dellamorte thoughts. what if instead of knowingly betraying lucanis he did it like, unknowingly. idk how this would work but iâm intrigued by what it gives us. illario âi accidentally caused my cousinâs death & can never tell anyoneâ dellamorte. genuinely grieving. blaming himself. does he take advantage of the year before lucanis comes back?? does caterina still ignore him the whole time?? how different is the canon plotline once rook shows up with lucanis post-rescueâŚ..
anyways i would love your thoughts!!
95% of what i do with illario operates on the idea that he is frighteningly competent so you can see why the way the crows plotline plays out in the game might frustrate me. itâs also this reason why i donât actually think too much about ��illario got lucanis killed, but didnât mean to do itâ, because i like the idea that everything illario does in his life is planned to the second and that heâs too well trained to mess up this badly, if that makes sense. with that being said. 5% of my brain power does sometimes go towards âand what if he just sucked actuallyâ and it was a theory i enjoyed before the game even released. so i have in fact been thinking about this anyway LOL . maybe he tries to honeypot zara, accidentally actually reveals lucanisâ next assassination job, and zara gets rid of him as a âgiftâ. illario is horrified and that gets even worse when lucanisâ body shows up, and he assumes this must be because he spurned zara by leaving her and not having the guts to seize power.
i think we could make his inferiority complex worse. illarioâs worst fear confirmed: he is as worthless as his grandmother believes he is, botching something so badly that he accidentally sentences his cousin to death when what he wanted was lucanis just⌠out of the way for a bit (maybe while he kills caterina. LOL. i still think his resentment of caterina trumps his jealousy for lucanis though those two things are very intertwined its hard for him to differentiate them). so incapable that he got the only person who actually supports him killed, and now heâs dreading the idea of becoming first talon. he doesnât want first talon without lucanis backing him, and now the only person left is caterina which is suffocating and makes him even unhappier. at least he hadnât lived through her alone, and now through consequences of his own decisions, illario has no choice but to.
i think that would affect his plans for talon because of how horribly heâd fucked up, and tries to mask it because if he suddenly actually doesnât want to be talon that would be a red flag for everyone. lucanis coming back would delight him (talon is within his sights again if lucanis comes back!) and freak him out. i think the plotline would actually be pretty similar because of this freak out, so he still shows up to zaraâs fight to cover his tracks. lucanis can never know, caterina can never know, because what little faith they have in him will be lost. like he committed fratricide and didnât even MEAN tođ ...corpse whispering still happens, and zara is like âohhh that coward. he can never finish what he started, can he?â + âelaborate.â + âi gave him what he most wanted in the world and instead of being grateful, he ran away.â so lucanis finds out about what happened but feels a mix of âillario, you idiotâ + pity because turns out he didnât even mean for it to happen, and keeps his secret for now, otherwise heâd probably have to kill him.
i also think not meaning to kill lucanis would sour his feelings towards the venatori, who are a reminder of how badly he failed, so the alliance wouldnât happen. this does mean if the story goes on as it does in canon, he has to take desperate measures another way and kidnap caterina for some other reason but i canât think of whyâŚ.. maybe a thing where illario is like âok. lucanis is distracted by the elven gods. this time i just have to kill nonna for real and then nothing is in my wayâ and recruits disgraced houses or houses that donât like caterina to do so? not sure tbh but i donât believe caterina made it so far without making enemies lol. this would happen post bloodbath + corpse whisperingâ lucanis leaves his cousin unchecked because while he knows illario didnât mean for him to die, he has no idea how far he would go to have caterina dead. teia could find out about this and send word to foil the kidnapping and assassination attempt
so âmurder of crowsâ is still about saving caterina, the illario-lucanis fight still happens, but itâs a little more hesitant and lots of âwhy wonât you just let me kill her? iâm doing this for the both of usâ. heâs had to live with being the un-favorite, but never would have thought lucanis would actually pick caterina if it came down to it. with all of his missteps here, i think the final decision (and i think it should be like this in canon anyway) would be to imprison illario or kill him. imprisoning him is just a lot of âi canât kill illario as much as he couldnât kill meâ, vs killing him as is expected from him as talon, and what he knew he would have to do after finding out about illario's failures. unlike canon, where illario is actually meaning to kill him and can be seen as a 'good crow' despite the sloppiness, here he's like. just bad at everything. the allied traitor houses that went against caterina would also have to be imprisoned or killed. no happy ending at all here, and lucanis still becomes first talon. now that iâve written it out this is actually probably the worst ending LOL
the above sticks a lot to what is canon to the game (plot points, choices, etc) and i didnât go very far away from it so it's like canon 3 inches to the left. tho my thoughts on this are not fleshed out* because i think illario works better as an antagonist character that sets things in motion !! not necessarily the villain in a cain-abel story, but a character who opposes lucanis while still not wanting to hurt him. that kind of discipline where he finds a way to get what he wants (first talon) without compromising what he also cares for (family) is so much more fun for me than a man who apparently just loses it and decides to enact a bad plan to get rid of his cousin. if he waited 20+ years to become talon i think heâd be more careful when it came down to it. if i had my way illario would be playing insane 5d chess to rival solas (insert black sails âi once thought that to lead, to be liked was just as good as feared. and that may very well be true. but to be both liked and feared all at once, is an entirely different state of being.â)
#*my thoughts are ânot fleshed outâ but i still wrote all this. LOL#i nearly answered this ask with the companion-illario au from my mind because i think vg needed a companion that lies to you LOL#but thats less 'illario didnt mean to do it' and more 'oh illario did it and just feels so guilty he goes on a one man crusade#against the venatori because he needs an outlet and both of them are known as magekillers'#he would have lied for most of the game about how lucanis got kidnapped/'killed' and resolves it by saving lucanis + confessing his guilt#this au had elements of 'it was an accident' but i kept flip flopping between if i wanted that or not lol#because . idk. i like when he purposefully does all this and then regrets it. my walking contradiction (slash i want him)#illario guilt inferiority and jealousy you all mean so much to me#but yeah. last point relates to the envyllario rewrite also from my mind#the idea of like. that caution vanishing because of the envy demon is quite fun for me#so spite makes lucanis a victim to his own anger and sense of justice#while envy refuses to let illario maintain his veneer of charm and forces him to act rashly despite his planning#ok. i have to stop talking. thank u anon for this because i am always looking for an excuse to chat shit#prompt me at any point to speak about illario and i honest to god will just be sat here thinking#actually it was pretty bad a few days ago when i was thinking about ways it could go for him in my aus and drawing a blank#and had the very clear thought 'i NEED to put my thinking cap on' which was . a bit humiliating#illario dellamorte#long post#answered#anonymous
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I didn't complete my 24 in 2024 list, but that's okay. I read a lot of short books and that's okay. I tried something new and wrote a small blurb in a draft after finishing it, instead of cobbling together feelings from what I remembered throughout the month, and I liked that a lot. I'll continue to do that, it made this a lot easier. Officially gave up on Ga'Hoole, and don't feel guilty about it. There are better books in the world and I will find them. That is a threat.
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The Screaming Stair Case by Jonathan Stroud ââ½ - I want to watch the tv show, and I always feel weird doing that before reading the book. I'm not sure what I was expecting but it wasn't another Jackaby. I will not delete my blog over it, but it was. Not great. Fine. Fun at times. Would be more fun if the author didn't hate fat people so much. A pet peeve of mine is when the main character is a girl but the series is named after the main boy in her life. Icky. Not the worst, but I'm not sure I want to continue the series. The audio narrator was Delightful.
The Shattering by Kathryn Lasky ââ - GaHoole book five. I know I said at the start of the year I'd read what I owned, but I'm no longer having fun so this will be the last for me. I'd rather be reading Animorphs. The owls can't save it for me, I'm sorry. Still counting it towards my yearly list though.
I'm Afraid You've Got Dragons â- by Peter S Beagle This was trying to be a T Kingfisher novel but couldn't figure out the right balance between humor and devastation and how it fits into a small amount of words. It tried to be a Terry Pratchett novel but couldn't figure out what satire was. Disappointing considering I was hyped for it when it was announced. Dragons eventually showed up, but it was too late for them to save it.
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A Psalm for the Wildbuilt by Becky Chambers âď¸âď¸âď¸âď¸âď¸ - reread for book club! Still adore it! This time around I was able to pinpoint WHY I adored it! It's because I too feel Aimless and Without A Purpose. So. Ouchie. It's also helping me figure out what I want out of a "cosy" novel (or novella). Internal personal conflict! I would still do anything for Mosscap.
A Prayer for the Crown Shy by Becky Chambers âď¸âď¸âď¸âď¸âď¸ - reread for book club! Once again, Becky Chambers has flayed me open and picked apart my soul! Reading Monk & Robot is like sitting down and being given a cup of tea while I cry my heart out.
Sorcery of Thorns by Margaret Rogerson âď¸âď¸âď¸ - "Is this what it means to lose someone? The pain never goes away, it just gets buried?" I think this ending hit me hard for different reasons than most people are going wild for. It was Fine. Not mad I read it, but don't see myself ever wanting to reread it. I like the idea of the library as a living thing and a character itself, but there were a few plot points that just seemed to be brushed aside.
Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir âââââ - I needed a safe tragedy I knew the end of and this did it. First time I actually shed tears over these words, but I needed it. It was fun to see and note the pieces that were laid out for later books, and I wonder, knowing some teasers we've gotten for Alecto, what TMuir means by Gideon wishing she could marry her sword.....
I don't have 2025 reading goals at this moment. Maybe that will change. It will probably change. I mean, there's the Usual, read the books I own, dangit, but that seems so. Boring. Typical. Everyone's doing that. Let me be ~Different~. I have a few fiber arts projects I'd like to do and finish, and I'd like to finish the sewing projects I started if only so I can pack all that up and put it away for a while. We're still hoping to move, so paring down my book collection is still an ongoing endeavor, and I do have a couple of art pieces I'd at the very least like to get sketched out. I want 2025 to be slow. I want 2025 to be quiet. I want 2025 to be kind. That's all I ask of it. Be kind.
#bookbird babbles#reading wrap up#monthly wrap up#december wrap up#books#booklr#this was. hard.#i feel like im missing tags here#guess not ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ#anyway im also working on my usual best and worst list#lots of contenders for both#also not book related but i also want clothing to stop being so expensive LMAO#well everything but specifically right now im trying to replace undergarments that have holes in them#THIRTY NINE DOLLARS FOR ONE SPORTS BRA?????? EXCUSE ME????????? if i could wear my binder every day i would#anyway place crying cat thumbs up gif here#thats me currently#everything is so hard right now but im TRYING
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imagining the story from pei ming's perspective is rlly funny i think. this god from all that time ago ascends again (you were there for the first two times) and immediately waltzes into a situation that fucks something up for your descendant (putting both of your reputations on the line, messing up how hard your descendant worked to become a god and how hard you worked to ensure that he would have that chance) and then refuses to let you smooth the situation out and on TOP of that your friend's little sister (who hates you and who you are trying to look out for by request of your friend) is on your case about it too. so you've gotta work all that out and then like. you chill for a little bit (still kind of upset about your descendant) until your friend undergoes a heavenly calamity. and then in the space of like A Day the god from earlier shows up again with a fucking ghost king, your friend dies, the little sister you're supposed to be looking out for disappears, and everything just kinda goes to shit. so you're like. grieving. trying to process everything. until your OTHER close friend goes off the fucking rails with the spirit of that guy she murdered, and then you get called out to the spooky ghost mountain where you're confronted with the girl whose death YOU were essentially responsible for and have never really come to terms with, and then like. you just kind of hang out with these gay people until everything resolves itself. fight some ghosts. fight the heavenly emperor. get your friend to stop being evil for a little while so she can fix the filing systems. and then you just have to keep being the god of love i guess
#characters who are so related and yet so unrelated to the story my beloveds#is he really necessary to the story. no! he's so essential to me though#nobody talks about the tragedy of the three tumors... i know it's cause they're awful but c'mon guys...#these three people who only have each other... pei ming losing both of them one after another in their own way...#i think he's probably pretty chill about ling wen being evil. i don't remember how he responds but i don't think he's that worried.#but still. that's two for two on the 'people i care about getting fucked up somehow' list#and then the kid that you're supposed to be emergency older brother to fucking DISAPPEARS.#so you can't even follow through on your promise to your dead friend...#shaking my computer. do you all understand how i feel#pei ming posting tonight. so many thoughts but so little expressed in the pei ming posting#too sleempy... will return to thoughts later#i am going to become the pei ming poster of all time. just watch me#talking#tgcf#pei ming#tian guan ci fu
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My Personal Headcanon On Why Amy's Love For Sonic Died Down Lately (and their dynamic)
When they were younger, Amy's love for Sonic was pretty extreme, and Sonic was, understandable, uncomfortable for the most part. He knows she means well, but that girl needs to calm down.
She can fight, but sometimes her hammer could only stun her enemies for a while. (It took her a long time to get rid of that robot that has been chasing her around Station Square.) She wasn't fully independent yet, even if she fought on her own a couple of times.
She often follows Sonic and his friends around. She is part of the team, but she was not a strong as she is now at the time yet.
She admires Sonic. A LOT. And Sonic knows that. Obviously, he could only run away from something like that, since he is NOT ready for that kind of thing, and whether Amy takes the hint or stop, she still loves him.
...BUT, I think things were slightly starting to change between her and Sonic after Lost World.
Remember this line?
You remember that? Okay, okay. Here's another totally unrelated question:
Before the events of Lost World, when was the last time Amy said "I love you" to Sonic out loud?
...YEP. đ (Unless I'm missing something, let me know lmao)
As more games and adventures come out, the characters get slightly older, and Amy is 12 to 13 now, and she is most certainly at that age where her body starts to change, but especially on how she views Sonic.
She knows she loves Sonic, but it was this moment during her change where she actually wanted to admit that she loves him.
I believe that Amy was all about sharing her affection to him not through confessions, but through obvious hints. Sonic totally got it, and there was no need to confess. Sonic knows she loves her.
...But she never said it. And she almost did, but she never did again for a while.
I think this was the moment in her life where, oh, God, she actually loves Sonic. SHE LOVES HIM, WHAT.
And she was looking back at all the times she had with Sonic that she can now see were unpleasant to Sonic (At least that's what she thinks) and that's probably why she isn't so expressive about her love to him than how she used to back then.
She wasn't sure what to do with this realization, and sets aside it for a while, and nearly stayed as her casual, peppy self... until the Eggman War happened.
During the 6 months of being with the Resistance, fighting Eggman's army all day and all night, all she can think of was Sonic.
She dreams that he still with not just her, but with her friends. She just wanted to see Sonic again, she just wants to be with her hero again.
But I'd like to think that she was also thinking about how she used to treat Sonic back when they were younger, how Sonic would almost always run away from her whenever she asks him out, or always look so uncomfortable whenever she gets so close to him.
Cringing at those memories big time, she wanted to change and hopefully when Sonic is okay and comes back, she can be better for him.
...Or will he still find her uncomfortable regardless? Would he even be happy to see her at all if he did survive?
But, hold on! She can't just give up her love for Sonic! He made her who she is today! A peppy, nature-loving, hammer-swinging, confident, brave... loud-mouth... annoying... Sonic obsessed... weak... pathetic... lonely little girl.
If she gives up on Sonic, it'll be like she gave up on the one hedgehog who saved her life. If she didn't she'll still be the same ol' Amy.
I also like to think she had parents a long while before she met Sonic, and was even expecting a little sister, but a robot invasion happened from where she was and attacked her parents and instead of trying to save them, after getting hurt, she ran away, hoping that they'll come back okay. But they never did.
She was all alone, and needed someone, a friend, a new family, someone who will hold her hand, anyone, to be there for her. But she was ignored by lots, and at that point, she's better off by herself, but still longed for company.
Eventually though, her tarot cards told her her future hero, and there might be hope after all. She encountered Sonic, held onto the belief of the cards tight, and the rest is history.
So, with that headcanon in mind, not only did Amy loose her parents that she didn't save because of her cowardliness (she was only so little at the time that happened) and also Sonic, who she thought will be her only hope, but now gone.
She doesn't even care if he did come back, he'd probably hate her now after everything she did to him, always talking about their "future wedding" or forcing him to go to Twinkle Park.
For the last few months of the war, it was nothing but Amy mentally beating herself up for either refusing to change or moving on, and they are both not fine choices.
She loves Sonic, but he does not love her, and she finally, finally realized it. And it's probably for the best if no body loved her at all.
But of course Sonic did survive and all of her worries wash away in an instant, she's just not expressive about her love for Sonic AT ALL now, since she's still worried about it but rather not mention it to Sonic because it doesn't matter.
If Sonic doesn't love her, then her feelings don't matter to him, and according to Amy herself, that is okay.
But also, I'd like to think that Sonic was thinking about his friends a lot up in the Death Egg for the past months, sometimes it's Tails (worried for his safety), sometimes it's Shadow (because he's wondering why he would join Eggman.) At some point, for a few days, Amy was in his mind the longest, and he felt bad about how he thought he was rude and pushy to her.
He wondered if she's not thinking about it too much, and if she is, will she give up on him? Yeah, he doesn't feel the same and still not looking for a relationship, but it's so strange but interesting how anyone could ever like someone like Sonic the Hedgehog. Amy was never afraid to show that, and she probably might be now.
He couldn't help but feel guilty. They were kids when she was like this, but he was so... arrogant at the time too. Not a lot happened at the time yet. He'd always have trouble expressing how much he value his friends, until he shattered the Paradox Prism. (I'd like to think Prime took place before Forces. It makes sense.)
She is such a sweet girl, and he probably made her believe that he didn't care for her. Just because he doesn't feel the same, that doesn't mean he hates her at all.
He wished he never ran away from Amy... Worrying for his little bro and wishing to be a good person for Amy was when Sonic cried in the Death Egg for the first and only time.
Frontiers, in my opinion, is kind of confirming their dynamic now. Sonic is a lot more sincere and kinder to Amy and she is not all hyperactive and lovey to Sonic. There is probably a real reason for this now.
They are both hiding their feelings from them, and they are both unaware of this. Amy, hiding her mental issues from Sonic, and Sonic, hiding his guilt away from Amy.
None of those things are important now. Sonic is with Amy and Amy is with Sonic. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
They don't care if they'll ever be something more when they get older. None of that matters anymore. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
Maybe someday they'll both talk about it, but for now, the present is important. They care about each other too much to think about it right now.
It's the kind of love that is unbreakable. It doesn't even have to be romantic. It's just love. Love is important for everyone, in any form. It's something Sonic and his friends need. And especially Sonic and Amy.
Amy Rose is the living embodiment of love, and without her, a lot would go downhill for Sonic and co. Heck, if it weren't for her, Shadow wouldn't have never remembered Maria's promise, which lead him to save the world with Sonic, before he temporarily disappeared from their lives for a while.
She is always there to lend a helping hand for anybody, even bad guys like Metal Sonic, and despite what she had been through, both in Forces and headcanon wise, she still fights back, even without her hammer.
She will pick you back up on your feet, reminding you that you are important and that you are loved, and that you should never give up. It's pretty much the words of encouragement she herself needed also...
She is still the happy, hyper, butt-kicking hedgehog we all know and love, but she still need someone to pick her back up on her feet after so long. Thankfully, she has her friends and her blue hero. The hero who made her who she is today.
I think Amy has no idea how important she thought she is, but Sonic does. Sonic knows fully well how important she is to a lot of people. It's about time he returns the favor to her. It's his turn to remind her how much a lot of people love her.
How much he loves her.
And I feel like The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog was the moment where their dynamic really shined, but also the starting point of their relationship not only healing, but also the next chapter of what's to come for them.
Everyone, friends old and new, gathered around for a special birthday. A birthday for the confident, unshakable, and radiant Amy Rose.
It was such a special moment in Amy's life. After years of chasing and following the people she look up to, she is part of the team, but most importantly, she is part of the family.
She is fully realized as someone more than just a fangirl, but someone strong, courageous, creative, kind and a big inspiration for others.
I feel like this moment here...
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-is where Amy is eternally grateful to call her friends her family. A family she thought she'll never have again. She's not alone anymore, and as long as they're by her side, she'll never will be again.
Her chasing days are over. She's finally caught up to them. She's finally home.
And it's all thanks to Sonic.
If it weren't for him, she'd probably be alone forever. Her past moments with Sonic might be embarrassing to look back on for a while, but they are good memories regardless, because they involve him.
Sonic saved her life in more ways than one, and despite everything, he's grateful to have her too.
He cares about her. He really does... And in her eyes, that all she needed to know. As long as Sonic loves her in his own way, she'll be happy.
Amy hasn't given up on Sonic. As long as Amy always supports him, he'll be happy.
Maybe sometime in the future, they can talk about their problems, but that's a story for another time. At this point, they need to. Right now, they are happy. They are okay.
They are here for each other. They are finally better for each other now.
"You guys won't ever leave me, right?"
"Wouldn't dream of it."
#piko rambles#sonic the hedgehog#amy rose#Meant to be platonic but I don't care if you tag as ship lol#I've been meaning to post something like this for the longest time now but never really got into posting it-#-because you guys REALLY hate seeing these two together for some reason.#Well not for SOME reason. There are valid reasons why you don't ship them. Everyone has valid reason why they don't ship this or that.#But sometimes those reasons can just sound so petty to me. Like the reason why is because Amy is a stalker or Sonic hates her which is FALS#Also those age gap arguments are understandable but so goddamn annoying sometimes. Maybe when they hit their late teens or early twenties-#then they can be together if they want to. Besides a good percentage of Sonic ships are better off if they waited til they're old enough im#I love them regardless of whether they're just friends or an awkward older cringe fail couple lmao#But them being just friends and hiding away all their emotions towards each other just to keep them safe and happy with them- đđđ#Son/adow is my favorite ship of all time and sonamy is my favorite childhood ship/platonic ship because they both have one thing in common.#ANGST đ#I've been thinking about Sonic and Amy's dynamic as of late and MAN-#Mixed with some personal headcanons of mine and their dynamic as of late just makes me so emotional.#Sonic and Amy have gotten so close now and it's so sweet but so heartbreaking at the same time when you think about it.#I'm so happy they are getting along better and being there for each other but there is so much to dissect here. So much to think about.#I might be a little silly but Amy losing her parents and being alone for so long and being the reason why she's always hanging onto Sonic-#-explains SOOOOOOOOO much about her. At least that's my headcanon for WHY that is.#Amy with abandonment issues speaks to me on a personal level. I'm always afraid of being forgotten or left behind by my family.#I sometimes feel like I'm not good enough no matter how hard I try. I do not blame Amy. I relate to her a lot. It's one of the many reasons#-why Amy is my favorite character besides Sonic and Shadow.#She fights hard to prove she's a valuable member of the team and hates getting left behind but despite all that she wasn't afraid to-#-express herself and her love for people. But after the Eggman War there was some changes that made her less expressive about her love.#Yeah she still loves Sonic but she doesn't admit it because none of that matters anymore and she thought that not being loved by Sonic#-is better than being loved since she nearly wasted her life loving someone who she thought has constantly bothered. đĽ˛#But I think after TMoStH I think she'll be less afraid of being expressive about it. She and Sonic are just so caring for each other đ#I love these two way too much that when I think about them for too long I'll start SOBBING đđ I'M EVEN SOBBING RIGHT NOW LMAO
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Ava the second Vyxaria knocked on her door even if she was definitely going through it -
#i love her#I NEED THEM TO REKINDLE#shes so obviously favors Vyxaria out of everyone#and idk why but every route no matter what i feel like Vyxaria is so kind and gentle to Ava bc she relates to her so much#i love them so much#both platonic and romantic#GIVE ME ALL OF IT#romance club#rc#soulless#rc soulless#rc vyxaria#rc ava wong
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this is *maybe* a bit of a stretch but i still find interesting to think about? don't know if i have everything right
but
i feel like with the elemental opposite duos - emma & rikki, cleo & bella - you could reasonably say their arcs'd mirror each other in a way
like
emma and rikki have issues with responsibility/expectations but on opposite ends of the spectrum
emma was a gifted child, everyone had high expectations for her and she tried to meet those expectations the best she could. sheâs responsible emma, who makes sure everyone is looked after, and everyone âknewâ was going to become a top athlete, because look at all those trophies on her shelf
and then rikki on the other hand, was alone for âher own good.â she admitted to elliot that no one really liked her growing up, so when somebody did, it made her feel weird and she pushed them away. she stayed away from other people, made sure they never had any expectations of her
they both avoided disappointing others, by going to opposite extreme lengths
and then they overcame these issues, with emma facing a sudden change in her life (becoming a mermaid) that meant she had to give up her swimming dreams and disappoint the people in her life (that had to suck for her, honestly.) she had to come to terms with that - but then, she also found a whole new world that sheâd never have been a part of, if things had gone the way she planned
and as for rikki - her biggest change wasn't the tail, but becoming friends with emma and cleo. had she'd her way and zaneâd never gotten cleo stuck on that boat, sheâd never become friends with them. rikki had to learn the hurdles of friendship and of keeping them, like when she mistook the different kinds of fish, when cleo and emma didn't support her relationship with zane, etc. they had their issues - but in the end, they were there for rikki, and rikki was there for them back. she'd have never gotten that kind of solidarity, had things gone the way she thought it would
and then thereâs cleo and bella
bella - unfortunately, didnât have much in terms of development, since the writers prioritized willâs relationship with her over expanding her character background+ for some reason ??
so i'm just mostly going to talk about cleo here first - but i'll get to bella in a second
cleo by s3 is a very confident and self-assured person; but she didn't start out that way. she was insecure, somewhat naive. she grew up overshadowed by her two best friends, the both of them being gifted in their own rights - emma, the young up and rising athlete, and lewis the science genius, they were sure to go places. cleo, on the other hand, was overlooked. she didn't have much going for her - except for adequate grades and a love of the marine life that was hindered by her fear of water
and then cleo became a *literal* mermaid. either she was going to avoid it or overcome it. in the end, she didn't just overcome her fear of water, but she also took a risk by taking that job at the marine park, where she'd be working right by the marine animals. she let her fear control her before, and she wasn't going to let it stop her from wanting to pursue things anymore
(funny, she started out with a fear of water, then became a mermaid. she struggled with her grades, then became a science genius)
bella, much like cleo - had her own issues when it came to the kind of attention she got, but the other way around. her first appearance, she was being catcalled. same ep, nate is drooling over her. they've made her beauty a point throughout s3. even cleo and rikki's brought it up. it. could not have been easy for her to deal with that, especially with her secret in mind
seeing that, even with the different issues when it came to attention, i think they'd still have had the same feelings about it. a younger bella, probably would've been similarly insecure/anxious as cleo had been - until she learned to be more sure about herself and grew into the bella we know and love today
(we should've gotten way more lore and background about bella, agh)
tldr; emma and rikki have same feelings but opposite reactions (people pleasing and people avoiding.) cleo and bella opposite situations but same feelings (overshadowed and center of attention)
yk, rikki was right in a way i think about the "universal law," but like, more about keeping in balance and not about trios. emma and rikki balance each other out, cleo and bella were *meant* to balance each other out. but in s2, bella wasn't there - charlotte was
do i blame the antagonizing of charlotte and cleo's out of characterness on the writers, or do i blame it on some magical semi-canon mermaid universal law about balance
blaming it on a mermaid universal law sounds more fun, and could have interesting implications. (though the writing grates me, still)
#h2o just add water#duos#emma gilbert#rikki chadwick#remma#cleo sertori#bella hartley#clella#lewis mccartney#character introspection#character development#all of those things were pretty much what they went through in their moonspells#except bella - which is actually giving me ideas for a fic about her first moonspell#i don't know if i'm biased#but the characters in this show feels more like real people than other shows to me#at least in s1 anyways. in s2 they felt more like tools for drama#i don't know if that's just me#also interesting is the difference in the girls' upbringings#rikki grew up in a trailer park while emma's family was well-to-do#so that led people to probs have lower expectations of rikki but higher from emma#cleo stayed in the gold coast all her life while bella moved around a lot and lived in hotels#and they both ended up with anxiety /j#both charlotte and cleo didn't have their own person to balance them out#and they both made each other worse. coincidence?#i think not /j#i wonder if charlotte had someone to balance her out what that would've been like#different powers or would the other have had none at all? who knows#emma and rikki are both goddamn relatable to me tbh#the vices of growing up an undiagnosed neurodivergent
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Ienzo the Liar
#kingdom hearts#ienzo#library of ruina#project moon#yes this IS based on the pinocchio battle from library of ruina#it's a long story. i was supposed to draw this in july 2023. i didn't. thereâs a whole dnd gimmick battle to go with it#me art#me post#pinocchio lor's tactics are pretty similar to zexion's in both re:com and kh2fm#copying your card deck (though zexion steals them instead of just copying them)#and changing the costs of your cards (can be compared to how zexion fucks with your ui in 2fm)#thematically relates less to xemnas's control and more to how zexion feels he is a creature of darkness#hence taking on shadow heartless features#wooden puppets hang from the ceiling in the background of pinocchio's battle and ive placed a hole in a suspicious place on each of them#aaand he's a child because pinocchio is a child#pinocchio lor specifically has the traits âcuriousâ âcopycatâ and âliarâ#which. ienzo :)#do you guys like the color palette I use for like every zexienzo drawing I do#not actually a question. Iâm not going to stop using it#I CONSTANTLY forget to turn off red eye mode on my computer while drawing so itâs probably more blue than intended#I donât really care though
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He's teaching him how to game
#my art#fanart#marvel#marvel comics#marvel comics fanart#marvel fanart#Peter Quill#Peter Jason Quill#Star-lord#star lord#Groot#guardians of the galaxy#gotg#peter x groot#greter ...#I love them a lot#They're so important to me and it makes me so . sad that Groot is so rarely even treated like his own person#I see some people even treat him kind of like the pet of the Guardians without using that exact term and it makes me really sad#because he is straight up just a man who happens to not be human :( I think him not being able to speak English doesn't help people's#views on him either#which is also really sad to me#Sorry that has nothing to do with the drawing I just have many feelings on this matter#Anyway; I love them <333 :)#GUYS this is romantic please this is not based on the MCU - which I'm pretty sure in that it's not even Groot that he has a father-son relat#ionship with its Groot's son but that's a whole can of worms#But this is a more comic inspired take without ANY MCU involvement and that is not his son :( that is his boyfriend :( in this one he does#not raise Groot or anything like that and Groot is a fully grown man both physically and mentally like he is in many comics#I just wanted to make that clear out of concern that someone would read it the wrong way#decided on proot hehe#proot
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