#both have long-term impacts on psychological well-being

[fieldofheathers-stuff]

The Silco saga, Part 3: The Eye

*This is the third (well, actually fourth) post in a series I’ve lovingly dubbed “The Silco Saga, a retrospective after Season 2”. It’s halfway between flow of conscience, meta, headcanon and review, spawned from my Arcane brainrot (and recent S1 rewatch) and vaguely aimed at trying to reevaluate the entirety of Arcane with a focus on my Main Man™ Silco. Here is Part 1 (on how S2 handled Silco and Jinx’s relationship), Part 1.5 (miscellaneous thoughts regarding timeline issues and Silco’s actions towards the kids in S1ep3), and Part 2 (Vander and a bit of Zaundads, yaaay).

Please feel free to comment! I love hearing different perspectives on this show.

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This will be a short one, but I need to get it out of my system. I just... love, love, love Arcane's use of visual language (and specifically character and environment design) to wordlessly communicate story beats. The whole show is just a perfect synergy of writing and artistic talent, where both contribute to craft a deeply layered and meaningful story.

Silco's eye is such a perfect example of this. To use the eye as a symbol of his corruption post-drowning is such a genius intuition, because it's symbolism is so immediately understandable yet also layered with meaning that is incredibly specific to his character.

There are plenty of characters in popular media where facial disfigurement is used to convey duality and corruption (the most obvious example being DC's Two-Face), and Silco could have easily gone down this well-traveled path of character design. However, by focusing on the corrupted eye in particular, this element instantly specifies the meaning of his mutilation.

Vander's violence didn't just impact him phisically. His scars don't serve just as a constant reminder of the ways in which he (and the world, since the Pilt's toxic waters are an effect of Piltover's exploitation of the Undercity) wronged him. The violence inflicted upon him distorted his vision of the world, metaphorically and literally. He is forced (first by Vander, and later by himself) to view the world through a monstrous filter.

I wonder whether him having to constantly inject Shimmer into his eye is meant to symbolize - or rather mirror - the coping mechanism he uses to deal with his trauma. Silco is shown constantly revisiting The Drowning™ as a crucial moment in his development as a person, and while in his personal narrative he reframes it as a positive and cathartic experience, we are aware, through his flashbacks, that the moment was anything but. Him needing to constantly inject Shimmer into his eye is the physical equivalent to the psycological ritual of "healing" he performs by reframing his trauma as a moment of self-improvement (and literally dunking himself in the Pilt, Silco you madman).

It's only logical, then, that the injections don't seem to work long-term. It perfectly mirrors his psychological state: as the story goes on, we see how his narrative of death and rebirth is just a superficial fix, a solution which could perhaps be sustainable for him alone, but inevitably crumbles as soon as he attempts to apply it to another person (Jinx). Jinx's tragic arc in S1 reveals the fault in his vision: there is no healing to be found in rewriting your past by cramming it into a narrative that suits your feelings and "killing" (denying, hiding, repressing) the bits that you don't like - or that are too painful for you to face.

It's deeply symbolic, then, that he still keeps his scars in the Best Timeline™ of S2ep7, but there's no sign of infection or (what I assume is) Shimmer corruption: the wounds are still there because the past can't be changed, but he is shown to have been able to shape it into something stable, manageable. It's what healing actually looks like: it's neither a return to an umblemished state, nor a rebirth into something completely new, but rather an integration of the past and present self into a whole that is not just the sum (or, in his case, a subtraction) of its parts.

[x31043]

I guess im just bothered that when youre born an called a woman youre then constantly told to shut upforever,but when the opposite is true youre constantly encouraged to speak up.Youre ridiculed for not doing it, but to me thats different than being hurt or even killed FOR doing it. That means that childhood sucks. Adolescence sucks. Youre really in a place of forced subservience for your whole existence. You have to break out of that so hard. Youre physically smaller. You are trained to ignore yourself until you are broken. You are trained to be something that someone uncaring will shove themselves in and take, take over. You are literally raised to be an object to be used and discarded. That is UNIVERSAL. I know some people epxerience that without being born & assigned women, but for those of us who are this is literally a universal experience. You are fucking made to be a fucking sex robot and a servant and an agreeable nodding nothing whose opinions dont matter and nothing else. You are TRAINED in social cues and spend your whole life noticing every little thing and forcibly keeping all your opinions inside. Everyone should be lifting our voices up!!! Trans people should be screaming up at the sky not at others to keep their voices down!!

This literally makes me want to scream. Women are not treated better than men. Why would trans men be treated better than trans women? Where are you seeing that, where??? They have SPECIFIC, DIFFERENT experienes and also many that are the same! Because its a fucking spectrum, remember that discourse? When youre trans it doesnt work all neatly in two categories like that. I look like a trans women. Many trans women look like me. Many of us are non-binary and our gender is basically the same regardless of how we were brought up. Why can you ask me my genitals now and if i dont answer i get canceled. what the FUCK is that. Why has it become like this. It started as “our experiences are different, we need a space to talk about the ways they are not the same.” and now its-- disclose whether youre dmab or dfab to be a good ally to trans women. We have to talk about it ALL THE TIME. WE have to go based off genital differences to determine how you are privileged or not. That’s not the fucking way to move our community forward or to connect as individulas. And Guess what?? Trans women don’t even want it!!!

TME is a term that trans women made for VERY SPECIFIC CIRCUMSTANCES. It can be applied to SPECIFIC CIRCUMSTANCES which require a very nuanced and exact language. I may be fucked up for saying this but There are times when trans mascs and butches face a speciifc, different type of transphobia to trans women, too. And they deserve a space to talk about it, too, while still DEFENDING trans fems from terfs. This seems fucking obvious to me. when its white ppl it all pales against transphobic racism anyway.

And that’s the long and short of it, bc trans women arent the ones I see taking about TME. They arent the ones actively claiming they have worse epxeriences with gender and dysphoria. Thats all like cute Nonbinary transmascs typically who are white telling me my experience was a lot easier than others in my community. And to me thats a part of this fucked up socialization--always talk youself down, and hold others like you accountable for reaching beyond their capacity. Other DFAB people telling me to shut up about my transness is fucking ironic in a way that doesn’t make me want to laugh. You were told to shut up your whole life, so now you’re going to put that on me?? Why are we doing this in the first place then?? WHy if not to reclaim the voice that was stolen from us?!

My genitals are thought of as absolutely inconceivable. The 20 pounds of weight on my chest is thought of as a dirty thing I literally need to press and constrain into tight and uncomfortable shapes or I will be violated when I go outside. Do you have any idea what that does to a kid?  I bet you know what it does to an adult. It’s a very similar experience! We need a space to talk about this without being called terfs or told to check our TME privilege. I am going to one day be a man with a beard in a dress. Whats not clicking?

[ukiyowi]

Past Life PAC ✫

Note: Have fun and take care also stay hydrated muah muah, photo credits me that's why they suck (/hj) If you like the pac please reblog!! It helps a lot 💏

1 -> 3

Masterlist ✧ Paid readings ✧ Tip Jar

🍄 Pile 1

☆ You were someone who was constantly transforming, both spiritually and mentally and may have gone through multiple cycles. You were someone who took things in stride and believed that everything will turn out well even if it didn't seem that way. You had a tendency to change a lot in a small period of time to the extent of people not recognising you, you may also have been extremely intellectual and learned, being interested in the arts and subjects like philosophy or psychology. You wanted to get to the bottom of everything in existence and were very curious. However, you also tended to be stuck in the past, reliving old days and collecting old ornaments, nostalgia held you back. You didn't travel a lot nor did you want to, you were set in your ways and your self-doubt led to you missing out on opportunities that would have made you thrive.

☆ Your life on the other hand, was nothing short of glamourous. You were probably born in a wealthy and well to do household with servants and butlers, people were at your beck and call. You may have been close to your father and he may have had a huge impact on you and your decisions. Your life looked perfect from the outside but it was not what you desired. You wanted to make a name for yourself however could not due to restrictions put on you by your family members. You may have tried to stand up for yourself but were only lectured or turned down. Your sibling’s nay has gotten more chances than you did and you felt life to be unequal and unfair. You may have had an unstable family life, and their unhappy marriage may have affected your views on love.

☆ Initially you did not feel fulfilled in your long-term relationship and both parties may have been involved in infidelity and bring closed off about their relationship. This relationship could have been established against both of your wills as a business deal or relationship for the profit of the families rather than the individuals. This harboured a lot of negative feelings from both of your sides, and you both were unwilling to commit. You may have left your home to go be with this person. However, as time passed, you leading to a deeper level of emotional understanding. From this point on, it may have felt like fate or magic that brought you two together. You may have had one child together.

☆ You've learnt your karmic lessons in your previous lifetime and this lifetime is like a blank slate. You understand and accept how the universe is trying to guide you and are more spiritually enlightened, you may have psychic abilities that may be related to your calling in life. You're starting over completely and you will feel called to indulge and try out different activities and hobbies, and enjoy life at its fullest.

🍄 Pile 2

☆ You were indecisive and lacked direction in life. You felt trapped in every situation you were in and were quite pessimistic, which developed a lot of self-limiting beliefs you never tried to grow out of. You were a fatalist and believed you couldn't do anything to make your life better, and were doomed from the start for a lack of better words. You may have been apathetic and a sceptic and were quite discontent and angry with the universe. You may have spent hours, days even months soul searching, you loved nature and believed that it had the power to heal, you may have liked meditating in caves. You tried to be introspective and listen to your inner guidance, but due to your impulsiveness you never did.

☆ You may have lived a life that was lively but you didn't feel like you belonged. Your family may not have been the most well off but you made it work. Seeing them struggle you may have taken it upon yourself to study and educate yourself to find a way to help. You planned a lot and spent loads of time trying to decide what to do, only to come up empty handed because you believed you wouldn't want to live an empty life. You may have gone through a lot financially, and faced homelessness in your adulthood as well as a myriad of financial problems and health problems leading to a lot of loss. Your feeling of not belonging lead to you lashing out at people randomly making you stay away from romantic relationships, being averse to the very idea of it, you may have gone through more than one marriage due to separation or divorce.

☆ You may not have been the luckiest in matters of the heart either as your relationships may have fallen apart due to lack of communication and secrets from either of the parties, you may have gone through a divorce or your s/o leaving you in the past for someone else, however when you did end up meeting someone that you felt comfortable with, you tried your best to communicate with them. You may have felt like your love and affection towards them was illegal (I'm getting lgbtq+ vibes but it can be a secret romance or inter-religion/caste too) and that you need to get rid of your feelings before either of you get in trouble. You may have been avoiding the reality of the situation at the start but after a period of time you may have decided to either get together regardless of what people say, or, eloped. This made you feel free and content, however there were still certain commitment issues and the love fizzled out after a brief period of excitement, and did not procreate rather choosing to live a calm and peaceful life alone in the hills.

☆ Your lesson to learn in this life is to find value in things that are not necessarily materialistic and to stop trying to run after money, and let it flow into your life naturally. You're meant to learn how to balance work and life without burning out in both areas, and learn how to actually execute your plans and work on them rather than simply staying in the planning stage. You need to learn how to accept challenges without doubting your abilities and skills because you already possess what you need.

🍄 Pile 3

☆ You were an extremely traditional person and held strong conventional ethics and morals that made you come off as a perfectionist or stickler for the rules. You were an extremely 'by the book' person and believed that nothing could go wrong if you followed all the rules. You were also extremely religious and prayed every morning, you may have felt very connected to the divine and felt that someone was watching over you. You may have been overbearing and harboured a lot of insecurities especially in regards to your own self but physically and mentally and felt like you were never growing or moving forward.

☆ You may have moved slowly in your life, you may have had a strict and traditional upbringing, with your family being close knit and extremely loving. You had very supportive people around you that always tried to lift you up no matter what and offered their wisdom and advice whenever you needed it. You may have progressed slower than others in terms of your career, but your uncertainty never stopped you from doing what you wanted. You may have travelled a lot in search of what you want to do, and may have wanted to teach or be involved in a career that allows you to impart knowledge. You may have faced failure multiple times and put in a lot of effort in everything you did but we're let down frequently before you could find the correct path. You may have worked in a field where you helped guide people or helped children, you were also someone who got exhausted easily.

☆ You may not have had a lot of romantic relationships and had an arranged marriage which was conducted traditionally. You had similar values, ideas and opinions which led you to have great conversations and you gave each other mutual respect. You were both extremely committed to each other and had similar goals which could mean you both worked towards it together, leading to prosperity and abundance in your career after this relationship as you both built each other up. You both will prioritise your relationship and involve each other in your daily lives, keeping the other in the loop. You'll also make big financial decisions together and have a balanced relationship. You may have two kids together as well.

☆ In this life you're meant to learn how to be alone with yourself without feeling lonely. You are meant to introspect and search for what you truly desire deep in your heart and to stop settling for things but rather striving for more. You'll be learning how to be more intuitive and to be open to taking a spiritual path in the future, while making major sacrifices especially in regards to your ideas or beliefs in order to be more open minded.

All Credits and Rights Reserved to Ukiyowi. Do not STEAL do not PLAGIARISE

[astrogurujimayanksblog]

Mars in Houses: The Astrological Guide to Action and Energy

Mars, the planet of action, energy, and passion, plays a significant role in shaping our motivations, ambitions, and the ways we assert ourselves. Depending on its placement in the twelve houses of a natal chart, Mars reveals where our energy is most focused and how we handle challenges. Here, we delve into the dynamic influence of Mars in each house, offering insights into its impact on personality, relationships, career, and life choices.

Mars in the 1st House: The Dynamic Initiator

When Mars resides in the 1st house, individuals possess a bold and fearless personality. Their assertiveness and drive make them natural leaders who thrive in competitive environments. However, this placement can also make them impulsive, acting before considering consequences. Physically, they tend to have robust energy and stamina but are prone to accidents due to their recklessness. Learning patience and channeling energy into constructive outlets can enhance their life experiences.

Mars in the 2nd House: The Financial Risk-Taker

Mars in the 2nd house directs its fiery energy toward material possessions and financial matters. These individuals are often ambitious about earning and can engage in risk-taking behaviors when it comes to investments or business ventures. While their confidence can lead to significant gains, it may also result in disputes over money. Cultivating financial discipline and balancing spending habits are key to harnessing this placement’s potential.

Mars in the 3rd House: The Sharp Communicator

With Mars in the 3rd house, communication becomes a battlefield. These individuals have a quick wit and a sharp tongue, making them formidable debaters. However, their directness can sometimes come across as harsh or aggressive. This placement also fuels a desire for learning and exploration, often leading to frequent short trips. Caution is advised during travel, as impatience can result in mishaps.

Mars in the 4th House: The Domestic Commander

Mars in the 4th house brings intense energy to home and family life. These individuals often strive to take charge of their domestic environment, which can lead to power struggles with family members. While they are fiercely protective of their loved ones, their assertiveness might be perceived as domineering. Channeling this energy into creating a harmonious home environment can help mitigate conflicts.

Mars in the 5th House: The Passionate Creator

Creativity and romance are ignited when Mars occupies the 5th house. These individuals are enthusiastic about their pursuits, whether in love, hobbies, or creative endeavors. Their competitive streak may drive them to excel in sports or other recreational activities. However, their penchant for taking risks, whether in love or gambling, requires moderation to avoid potential pitfalls.

Mars in the 6th House: The Tireless Worker

Mars in the 6th house signifies a strong work ethic and a desire for productivity. These individuals are highly motivated employees or leaders who thrive on challenges in the workplace. However, conflicts with colleagues or health issues stemming from overwork and stress can be concerns. Incorporating regular relaxation and self-care routines is essential for long-term well-being.

Mars in the 7th House: The Energetic Partner

Partnerships, both personal and professional, are energized by Mars in the 7th house. These individuals are drawn to dynamic and assertive partners, often finding themselves in relationships filled with passion and occasional conflicts. While their competitive nature adds excitement to their unions, it can also lead to frequent disagreements. Finding balance and mutual respect is crucial for harmonious partnerships.

Mars in the 8th House: The Fearless Transformer

Mars in the 8th house imbues individuals with intense and transformative energy. They are drawn to exploring deep and complex areas of life, such as psychology, spirituality, or taboo subjects. This placement often brings a strong survival instinct, helping them navigate challenges. However, disputes over shared resources or inheritances may arise. Developing trust and open communication can help resolve conflicts.

Mars in the 9th House: The Adventurous Scholar

A love for adventure and learning characterizes Mars in the 9th house. These individuals are driven by a thirst for knowledge and often challenge conventional beliefs. Travel, both physical and intellectual, plays a significant role in their lives. While their enthusiasm is infectious, it’s important to temper impulsiveness, especially during travel or legal matters.

Mars in the 10th House: The Ambitious Leader

Mars in the 10th house highlights ambition and a strong desire for professional success. These individuals are natural leaders who thrive in competitive careers, such as business, engineering, or sports. However, conflicts with authority figures or overestimating their capabilities can hinder progress. Maintaining humility and building strong professional relationships are key to long-term success.

Mars in the 11th House: The Dynamic Networker

Friendships and social networks are energized by Mars in the 11th house. These individuals are highly motivated to connect with others and often take leadership roles in groups or organizations. However, their assertive and sometimes argumentative nature can lead to conflicts with friends. Choosing supportive and like-minded companions is essential for positive social experiences.

Mars in the 12th House: The Subtle Strategist

Mars in the 12th house operates behind the scenes, making these individuals introspective and strategic in their actions. They are often drawn to spiritual or humanitarian pursuits, channeling their energy into helping others. However, secrecy or suppressed anger can lead to inner turmoil. Regular introspection and open communication are essential for emotional balance.

Mars’s placement in the houses provides profound insights into how we assert ourselves, face challenges, and pursue our passions. By understanding and working with these energies, we can unlock our full potential and navigate life’s complexities with greater ease.

[i-write-hurt-not-comfort]

in the defence of Ruki Mukami - why Ruki's trauma has just as much influence on his actions as everyone else

i am sitting in the chemistry library at uni right now and am going to spend my time on the most useless task ever to avoid doing anything impactful. please don't take this too serious because i can't write meaningful character analyses.

so i've seen a ton of stuff around, because i know Ruki's not one of the best loved characters in the western fandom. well, of all the characters, i see nearly the most Ruki hate. and obviously everyone is entitled to their opinions, whatever. but what DOES bother me is the reason.

a lot of people say that Ruki's trauma doesn't correlate to his actions, or explain abusive behaviour in the same way that the other characters' do. and i would die for Ruki and we know this, but i've thought about it a lot and i have a Theory as for why some people seem to view his character this way. (i have also studied neuroscience at degree level and learnt about trauma and synaptic plasticity)

to summarise for those who perhaps haven't read all the games (my sources for all this is basically Ruki's MB, DF, and LE), Ruki was born as an only-child in Romania to a rich family, and his father was revealed to be a politician during the Ceaușescu period in Romania. they had a lot of servants, all of whom Ruki learnt from a young age to abuse. he admired his father very much and looked up to him, and his mother was good to him and was close to his father. it would seem like a very good, perfect family - although i'll briefly discuss later why this wasn't necessarily the case.

unfortunately, in the DL universe lore, Karlheinz and Ceaușescu were buddy-buddy politicians, and Ruki's father was eventually chased out of his position. during his downfall, Ruki's father became an alcoholic and began abusing Ruki's mother, verbally and physically. Ruki saw a lot of this as well: somebody he looked up to, admired and trusted, becoming an abusive monster in a very short period of time. i think that's part of why Ruki overlooks Karlheinz's crimes and sees him as a good father anyway.

not only that, Ruki's mother - once again somebody who nurtured and cared for him - turned out to be having an affair. and shortly after that, his father committed suicide: something Ruki actually walked out on.

that in itself is a lot more traumatic than i think people consider. a lot of the DL characters have long-term trauma, but intense sudden trauma, such as your "perfect" life falling apart due to an alcoholic, abusive father killing himself and his mother having an affair, has similar psychological impact. remember, these are people who were supposed to care and nurture him, he trusted them a lot, and they both abandoned him abruptly in very extreme ways. that's the number 1 root of Ruki's trust issues. he's been seen to cut Yui off entirely because he's scared of becoming his abusive father.

similarly, living in a "perfect" household as a spoiled only child can be inherently traumatic. i don't know about you guys, but i've met some (only some, not the majority) of very, very emotionally constipated spoiled only-children. a lot of children showered with materialistic affection are missing key emotional maturity developments. their outlook on life is very narrow and they lack the emotional components of attachment; this is part of why Ruki is quite emotionally immature.

not only that, but growing up as an abusive sociopath to "lower" members of society such as servants is a form of abusive on his parents' behalf. they did not teach him proper world awareness. some children are born as psychopaths etc, true, but the majority of "sociopaths" (diagnosed as ASPD) are that way because they were not taught remorse as a child. Ruki would've learnt to treat his servants that way because that was how his parents did (and we see his father being a dick to the servants in LE too i think), and that in itself is inherently traumatic too.

imagine then, with very little capacity for remorse or a concept of societal hierarchy, being thrown into an orphanage. Ruki is a dick to everyone, yes, but the shock of having everything you know challenged suddenly and without explanation or support is going to cause further trauma. i think people just don't like to consider the fact that a lot of "sociopaths" (again, ASPD is the correct label there) were victims too. he went from being the "master" to being "livestock" and that's going to very rapidly alter your young brain chemistry, entering a "master" mindset as a defensive mechanism. that's why he gets angry/upset/confused when it's challenged.

Ruki has a fuck ton of PTSD as well - he's the only character who i've seen literally throw up MULTIPLE TIMES when experiencing flashbacks.

but i think people generally know that, perhaps not thinking about it as deeply. my Theory as to why people don't seem to see this as being as "extreme" as the other boys' trauma goes further than that.

diabolik lovers follows this dynamic between the Sakamaki's vs Mukami's, whereby Yuma, Kou and Azusa (Yuma and Kou more strongly) have this mindset of "the Sakamaki's can't have trauma because they were rich" and obviously as readers, we're supposed to be like "um, no, the Sakamaki's can have trauma too" because they do.

with that said, Kou and Yuma do successfully get to Subaru/Laito and Shu's heads respectively with this narrative. especially Subaru and Shu who get really fixated with this "i was a spoiled, privileged kid" and because of that, naturally we, as readers, lean towards feeling sorry for the Mukami's especially.

obviously, Ruki is the odd one out when it comes to the Mukami's. he had a sheltered upbringing whereas the other brothers were fighting for their lives in poverty/on the streets, victims and witnesses of the civil war and orphan crisis. Yuma particularly pushes this "Ruki had it easy" notion too, and i've definitely noticed that a lot of people who don't particularly like Ruki tend to fall towards that.

this idea of "not enough" trauma has enough to unpack as it is and we won't do that to, but personally i think that all of Ruki's abusive actions are justified. no, they are not an excuse. none of the diaboys' behaviour is excusable, but i think Rejet did quite a good job of giving them enough fucked up backstory to make us as readers at least understand why that might be how they act.

and from what i see, it seems to be Ruki who people think is the exception to this the most, because his trauma isn't in the same vein as the rest of the Mukami's. the "rich people can't have trauma" narrative gets pushed so hard that i think people forget 1) it isn't true and 2) Ruki went through a ton of fucked shit as a kid, and i don't think any of his actions made me feel any differently than the other diaboys' awful behaviour towards Yui.

you can find Ruki boring, not interesting, or just not your type. but he very, very much has "sufficient" trauma to explain his toxic and dominating actions. thank u for coming to my TedTalk.

[clau1r9i]

The Complex Interaction Between Insecurity and Friendship: Alice Swayne and Chise Hatori

ok so this post has been sponsored by @thornswoggled who has asked me to write about this (hiiii)

This is a post about an analysis that I wrote years ago to which I have added the part about how Alice would react if she knew the relationship between Chise and Joseph (you can skip everything and go to the end and get to that paragraph but you will not find new information either, I recommend read all for more context)

Ok i have to apologize, this is very long, i can´t do short things i just can´t i tried so get comfy

let´s staaart!

Introduction

This essay explores the psychological scars left by Alice's childhood, the common characteristics she shares with Chise, and the potential for rivalry between them as their relationships and place in society evolve.

The Psychological Impact of Alice's Troubling Past

Alice Swayne's personality is deeply influenced by her traumatic childhood, which can be understood in terms of *post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)* and *attachment disorder*. Abandoned at a young age and forced to survive in a dangerous environment, Alice developed a strong sense of loyalty, particularly towards Mikhail Renfred, who rescued her. However, this loyalty is accompanied by deep insecurities and a persistent fear of abandonment, typical manifestations of *avoidant attachment disorder*. Her childhood experiences may have caused psychological issues such as low self-esteem, anxiety, and a strong need for approval, characteristics of *dependent personality disorder*. These insecurities drive her to constantly prove her worth, sometimes at the expense of her own well-being. The trauma of her early life leaves her vulnerable to feelings of inadequacy and fear of being replaced or forgotten, especially by those she values most.

It can also be noted that this combination of issues may result in difficulty forming healthy relationships, hypervigilance, and feelings of guilt and shame regarding past attitudes and reactions.

Similarities Between Alice and Chise

Despite their different backgrounds, Alice and Chise share several significant characteristics that form the basis of their friendship. Both have endured painful pasts marked by abandonment and a longing for acceptance, which can be related to the concept of *existential loneliness*. This shared history creates an implicit understanding between them, as both know the pain of loneliness and the desire to find a place where they truly belong.

Their loyalty and devotion to their respective mentors, Renfred and Elias, also connect them, and both characters are willing to make significant sacrifices for the people they care about. Furthermore, both Alice and Chise struggle with insecurity and low self-esteem, often questioning their own worth. This shared vulnerability allows them to empathize with each other's difficulties and provide support when one of them doubts, which is an example of *social and emotional support*.

The progression of their relationship can be schematically outlined as follows:

Stages of Their Friendship:

Initial Distrust:

Description: When Alice and Chise first meet, there is evident distrust and rivalry, especially from Alice. This is partly due to Alice's insecurity and fear that Chise might be a threat to Renfred or that she might not be worthy of his time.

Respect and Recognition:

Description: As they interact more, Alice begins to see Chise in a different light. She recognizes her strength and value. This changes her initial perception.

Mutual Support:

Description: As their friendship deepens, Alice and Chise begin to support each other in times of need. Both have difficult pasts and find comfort in their mutual understanding. This mutual support allows them to grow both emotionally and personally.

There came a point where Alice found something she thought she would never find, someone she believed was similar to her, with a very similar past and seemingly similar traumatic consequences, which is why Alice makes an effort to guide and care for Chise. Essentially, we can see in the way Alice treats Chise the same relationship that exists between Chise and Philomela, albeit on a much smaller scale. However, thinking of someone as being just like you is a notion that can easily shift from love to hatred, and thus it should be discarded immediately. Someone can be very similar to you, but never identical. 

The consequences of this way of thinking are evident in the following.

Potential for Rivalry: Alice's Perspective on Chise

Despite the strong foundation of their friendship, the relationship between Alice and Chise is not without its challenges.

Initially, Alice might have viewed Chise as a competitor, particularly because Chise possesses unique and powerful abilities like Sleigh Beggy, which distinguish and make her valuable in a way that Alice might envy. The fact that nearly all characters show such interest in Chise could exacerbate Alice's fears of inadequacy, leading her to see Chise as a rival seeking approval and recognition, a phenomenon that can be understood in terms of *performance anxiety* and *evaluation sensitivity*.

An additional factor that could intensify the perception of rivalry is the apparent ease with which Chise forms and maintains friendships. Unlike Alice, who has struggled to establish deep and lasting connections due to her traumatic past and insecurities, Chise seems to have greater success in forming meaningful bonds with others. This perception that Chise has an innate ability to connect with people might make Alice feel more insecure, as she could interpret it as a lack of social skills in herself, which may be associated with *difficulties in forming interpersonal relationships* and *social inadequacy*.

The potential rivalry might also be fueled by differences in the nature of their relationships with their respective mentors. While Chise has a more emotional and close relationship with Elias, Alice’s relationship with Renfred, from Alice's perspective, is more professional and based on proving her worth (which she dislikes), reflecting an *anxious attachment disorder*, whereas from Renfred's point of view, it is a paternalistic relationship. Alice might feel that Chise has an advantage in receiving emotional support and guidance, which could make Alice feel neglected or undervalued in comparison.

Additionally, Alice might perceive that Chise is achieving what she herself desires: a sense of belonging and unconditional acceptance, something Alice has longed for but has not always received from Renfred in the way she wishes. This perception could heighten her feelings of rivalry, as Alice might fear that, in the eyes of her mentors, Chise is occupying a place she herself wishes to have, a sentiment that could be interpreted as *fear of rejection* and *self-image insecurity*.

All these terms can be encompassed under social comparison and intrapersonal jealousy.

The person Alice initially sees as her equal begins to have a seemingly better life than hers, a life and environment that forgives all mistakes, while Alice feels stuck, with stagnant personal relationships, and her mistakes come at a high price (Alice couldn't defend Renfred and as a result lost his arm, an arm that will not grow back).

Given all this, and considering the recent trending discussion here about Joseph/Cartafilus,

What would happen if Alice discovered that Chise is protecting and hiding Joseph?

The discovery that Chise is protecting Joseph/Cartafilus, a figure who has caused Alice significant harm, adds a complex layer to Alice's internal conflict. Joseph/Cartafilus represents pain and betrayal for Alice, and his presence in Chise's life might be seen as a personal betrayal by Alice. She could be overwhelmed by anger and frustration upon seeing Chise defend someone who has hurt her, intensifying her feelings of mistrust and insecurity. This act could make Alice feel excluded and dismissed, perceiving that Chise does not fully recognize the negative impact Joseph has had on her life. Additionally, Alice might face a profound internal conflict between maintaining her friendship with Chise and protecting herself from those who have caused her harm, which could trigger an identity crisis and doubts about Chise's loyalty. This would be a significant shock, potentially exacerbated by Chise's response or even if she chooses to remain silent.

[rascosmicwisdom]

Random talk on Mars Fall in Cancer (Sidereal)

Weakness of a planet can show up as that planet being extremely over active. For example having a Cancer Mars could mean a lack of discipline, being extremely defensive, self sabotaging.

What happens when the immune system attacks itself?

Mars is the defender and protector to both luminaries, the sun and moon, which represents mind and body

Mars in Cancer can be very unstable place because now your defense and protection is guided by the moon.. which can be a subjective realm.. as moon is our psyche. The same psyche that is impacted by the ebbs and flows of hormones. When things are out of wack psychologically, then where is the proper discernment to know how, when, where, and what to react

I also want to acknowledge the importance behind the maintenance of one's nutrition and mental health when having Mars in Cancer. The moon operates in phases, so the new , full, waxing and waning periods would now have influence on the direction Mars moves in.

Mars is strategy. It's exaltation in Capricorn supports and factors in the long term consequences of one's action. The Moon is quick moving opposed to Saturn, therefore one might not plan far enough ahead and can only see for the moment, however long of a moment that is. In the long run, one might discover that their original plan of action is unsustainable because of other factors they didnt consider. Mars in Cancer can be temporary motivation too.

Moon is built for comfort as well ,so in reality , who wants to be in fucking pain internally?

* note that astrology is nuanced and the whole chart always has to be considered. This is general.

[sophieinwonderland]

More from the doc: Every Tibetan Buddhist is a monk now!

Before getting to the most ridiculous part of this... While a minority of the endogenic community is trying to change the language, this community is largely separate from the tulpamancy community who actually use the language. The push to change language from systems who largely aren't tulpamancers and aren't part of the tulpamancy community would really accomplish little more than sew division between these distinct groups of plurals who should be united.

Thoughtform is a bad term for a mostly psychological practice because it has a long history in spiritual and pagan communities. (Source: My host was in a Wiccan community that made thoughtforms as a teen) It's not something new coined as a replacement. It's using a common term for a different phenomenon in a way that will create confusion.

"Willogenic" is a bad term, IMO, because it implies the headmates are simply "willed" into existence, diminishing the level of practice it takes many tulpamancers to create headmates. The tulpamancy community aren't going to go for that either.

Both of these are bad alternatives.

And I do consider it to be falling for anti-endo propaganda, because while there have been a few Tibetan Buddhists to express discomfort with the term, they've all been ones exposed to syscourse and anti-endo talking points. When the question was posed to Buddhist subreddits, most didn't have an issue with tulpamancers using the term.

There are also no debates about the tulpa being used in horror media or in Genshin Impacts "Hydro Tulpa" boss, showing this topic is exclusively confined to syscourse.

If the main variable for whether a Tibetan Buddhist finds it offensive is whether or not they've been exposed to anti-endo talking points or not before hand, I think that's something that should be taken into consideration.

Remember, you are not immune to propaganda.

Now, to the big thing though...

Do you think all Tibetan Buddhists are monks????????

Is "monk" to you just a word that applies to anyone practicing Buddhism???

Because as far as I know, exactly ZERO of the anti-tulpa people are Buddhist monks.

To be fair, none of the pro-tulpa ones are either. I don't think any actual monks/lamas have commented on this specific issue.

Now, I have pointed to the Dalai Lama, who is the highest monk in Tibetan Buddhism, saying the West and other religions could take Tibetan Buddhist meditations.

While broad, I think this can be extrapolated to apply to the practices tulpamancy drew inspiration from as well, establishing that Tibetan Buddhist meditations are open practices by default unless stated otherwise.

As of yet, I haven't found any evidence of a Lama or other spiritual leaders of Tibetan Buddhism establishing the sprul pa practice as some sort of closed exception.

But this paragraph from the doc highlights for me why I have a hard time taking the anti-tulpa side seriously. If you're going to white knight for a religion, you have GOT to learn the most basic facts about it.

Like, you know, how not everyone who practices the religion is a monk.

[tara-girl]

Navigating the Astrology Mysteries : Discovering Saturn’s Astrological House of Influence

Saturn is the only planet among all Nine planets ( As per Vedic astrology) which takes longest time (30 years) to revolve around Sun. It remains for 2.5 years in one Zodiac sign.

Because of the longest time and 2.5 years placement in zodiac sign-

Saturn is known for its Maturity.

Saturn took a long time before taking a decision.

Saturn has the ability to Command.

Saturn represents Longevity.

Saturn represents Service to Others.

Saturn represents Old age people.

Saturn does well almost in every house but the houses which needs extreme maturity Saturn does well in these kind of houses. These houses are 3rd, 6th and 8th house.

3rd house- This house deals with Media, Journalism, Writing skills, Verbal skills, Elementary education, Tongue and Fingers.

For Example, when any Paparazzi(Reporters who follows filmstars)has badly placed 3rd house then he/she will write or say silly things in disrespectful way about any celebrity. This makes a big impact on dignity of that celebrity ,both on personal and professional front.

Classic example is Alia bhatt getting trolled for her IQ. In an open press conference, she got angry with the reporter on question related to general knowledge. This is insensitive from reporter side and has definitely affected mental well being of Alia Bhatt.

But placement of Saturn in 3rd house gives enough maturity to use one's tongue and fingers for the good purpose.

6th house- This is the house of Controversies, Enemies, Daily Wages, Court Cases and Debts.

For Example, if one's 6th house is badly placed then a person will fight on silly things with other people for just short term pleasure and thus can be regularly trapped into controversies like court case, harassment, etc.

People with placement of Saturn in 6th house have enough maturity to stay away from controversies, enemies and taking debts because they can see the repercussions of these problems.

8th house- This is the house of Obstacles, Deadly situations, Criminals, Serial killers, Dark Energies, Mysteries, Ghost and Occult.

For Example, if someone's 8th house is badly placed, then a person will be very impulsive, fearful and can be easily assassinated by dark energies/people. There are high chances of accidents also.

People with placement of Saturn in 8th house are psychologically very strong when dealing with dark energies/people and respond to situations instead of reacting to the situations.

Note- Saturn if Debilitated, Retrograde, Combust, Conjunct or aspected by Rahu, Ketu and Mars can fluctuate or change the results.

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

Some Personal Thoughts on Disability in Enstars

disclaimer: disability is a very broad term that covers many different experiences. i will be talking about physical disabilities since i feel most comfortable doing so/have experience with them. obviously that ignores a Huge part of what disability and chronical illness is and can be. but i think it is beyond my capabilities to talk about experiences i don't know much about.

alt caption: i think ritsu is a good character and im trying to explain to myself why

this is sort of a long post, sorry.

content warnings: i talk about ableism and touch on related topics such as dehumanization and objectification and such below. individual parts of this post have their own cw's.

Enstars Writing, Beloathed

to get this out of the way; it is bad sometimes. this is discussed very often. it doesnt depend on the authors either, in my opinion, some writers will hit you with something really troublesome only to (seemingly accidentally) invent human emotion and compassion in a different story. i dont want to repeat what others have said eloquently but there is a fair amount of imperialist worldviews, xenophobia, just racism really, transphobia, ableism, and copaganda to be found in enstars. this isnt about x character being x thing, but about how it is very noticable when the author of a story holds these worldviews and they bleed into their stories.

so that is not the greatest foundation if youre looking for well-written disabilities. but i wouldnt be reading enstars if i didnt think it genuinely is really really good sometimes. in my opinion, the way disabilities are portrayed is a mixed bag overall but there are some extremely worthwhile bits that touched me quite a lot.

What I personally understand as Well-Written Disability

the way disabled people suffer often goes unnoticed, and disabled people dont have a platform to talk about oppression. a lot of life-changing issues can go unnoticed to those unnaffected by them, even if they are in broad daylight: underfounded or entirely lacking healthcare, the way many healthcare systems are marketbased and ethics are prone to suffer bc of this (even under 'welfare' capitalism), a lack of equal marriage, the inaccessibility of the most basic and necessary facilities, financing care and the dependency on family/loved ones (both a logistical and psychological problem), the huge stigma against disabled people, etc, etc, you get me....

we need to write about people who need care, to keep them in mind at all times. disabled people are not a minority in a mathematical sense but in a hierarchical sense. it is naive to think of them as "a substancial percentage" of populations. as we age, we inevitably all enter the stage of needing care at some point. SO to an extend, i want to claim its a topic that affects every single person. yet disabled people are rarely a central topic anywhere. it is not enough to acknowledge them, we need to plan and think with them in mind. and Write with them in mind, i guess.

SO when i see fiction grapple the topic, i am usually really happy, even if the portrayal isnt ideal. (critical, maybe, but generally speaking very happy) pointing out "badly" written disabled characters is obviously not as easy as calling someone out for uncritically saying "i think eugenics are a good idea!!!" through fiction. people with that sort of facist mindset exist of course but ableism does not end there.

if i were to single out things i see often: i think the most disappointing thing a story can do is to - mention a disability without it ever having an impact on people in the story (-> the disability is basically nonexistent, has no impact or relevance, outside of a theoretical mention) OR - uncritically use a disabled character as a mere plot devise, without granting them the ability to speak (-> dehumanization, a lack of understanding that disabled people are, well, People. they do shit.)

and then of course there is fetishization, both in a literal sense and in an inspiration porn sense and the problem of turning disability into a caricature for jokes (either to other disabled people for their behaviour/body or to create a sense of satisfying superiority by laughing at them) but i feel like those problems explain themselves.

to apply these to very basic examples: i think often something like a robotic sci-fi prosthetic is not a good way to represent a disability because it fails to represent what people go through irl and provides a "magic fix" without repercussions. here is a really good post about it. about the plot device issue... i think it is similar to what people often criticise as "manpain". a disabled person will never appear or speak, they are demoted to being the reason an able-bodied character acts a certain way, like a lifeless accessory. this doesnt always have to be bad, esp if its just a sideplot! but it can get tiring if the audience never gets to learn about other aspects of the unseen character in question and we are only introduced to their suffering.

all of this to talk about gacha idol boys. it is how it is. anyway, this is roughly my mental state when i tackle enstars.

disclaimer 2: i am really just a kogaP. this influences which characters i encounter when reading. there are tons of stories i just never looked at and there is SO MUCh lore i just dont know about. please lemme know if you have additions to stuff i say/understand a character better/have related story recommendations! tl;dr the sakuma bit will be long.

disclaimer 3: i genuinely adore every single character mentioned below and am always excited to learn smth new about them. if i criticize writing, that has nothing to do with that character or their fans. it is about the writers.

the most obvious example. Eichi (content warning for brief mentions of self harm and suicidal ideation)

everything eichi does, he does with the knowledge he will most likely die young. that is a truly dramatic setup.

but before i get back to that thought. it always felt to me like eichis illness(/es) lack a certain sense of conciseness? i do not think you need to put a name and diagnosis on it for it to be relatable and real to readers, tbh!! though to achieve believability, there needs to be a good amount of consistency. what i can recall off the top of my head is the following:

he breaks down/straight up blacks out frequently due to weakness and dizzyness

measures were taken to secure his safety in those situations (the infamous Eichi-kun Gauge as seen in Element)

his stamina is seriously low

he coughs a lot

we saw him cough up blood (Daydream)

he relies on long hospital stays because his health needs to be monitored and/or supported this closely

he stays inside a lot (hinting towards problems with his immune system?)

being healthy enough to eat unhealthy food is a big deal to him, so there are dietary restrictions/it was necessary to precisely control what he eats

his grandfather, who died recently, is considered an outlier for how long he lived (so it IS hereditary)

which..... could be a lot of things...? or, more likely: a culmination of many things at once. if you have headcanons on eichis health, please lemme know!

but in addition to eichis terminal illness, there is a second quality to him that separates him from most disabled people: he is extremely wealthy. and his wealth is fundamentally important to stories. usually illness and poverty go hand in hand, since income is tied to the ability to work, which worsens an already bad situation. no matter how limited eichis actions are because of his body, the possibilties offered by his wealth make him a central figure in every overarching plot. in addition to this, his family is well aware of his consitution and he is a patriarchal leading figure to them, the head to their coporate hierachy. eichi is free of the things that usually rid the chronically ill of their safety and power: society (he is an idol and popular) and money (he is the richest boy in japan). if youd ask me, i think that while being chronically ill is of course physically taxing, the worse problem is the economic state it puts you in. eichi simply overcomes this? yes, he is terminally ill, his situation is terrifying. but he has an extraordinary amount of control while he lives. more than a poor yet able-bodied person may have.

his unique circumstances enable him to be incredibly active. this is so fun to read about in my opinion. its a fascinating setup to me. without casting any sort of moral judgement on his actions and the antagonistic role he plays; he is, excuse me for my phrasing here, a disabled power fantasy. (at least to me)

this is a double-edged sword to him. because of who he is as a person (ambitious, cunning, ruthless, diligent)

he lives in relative safety but his strong ambition and financial ability to fulfill his dreams tempt him to go past his limits. because his remaining lifetime is uncertain, the need to preserve the body he is given seems uneconomical (a mindset his upbringing and education as an heir to his family would have enforced imo) he is bound to break down sooner or later anyway. i think he begins to see himself and his body as a tool to achieve his goals and neglects spending time on anything BUT working towards them. so the moment he runs out of goals (like at the end of Element), his reason to "remain" becomes futile.

it really struck with me how he appears in Blackbird - emaciated, pathetic, purposefully neglected because he chose to be neglected and weak in an act of self harm bc denying medical attention (something that couldnt have happened otherwise) wataru has to remind him that no one died and the obvious connection to make is that the eccentrics are physically unharmed and starting over, that they should not be a source of guilt to eichi. but i think this is just as much about eichi himself. he might have expected to die since he left the hospital and overexhausted himself at school and as an idol. he didnt die though. it was a real possibility and seemed likely but he didnt. the neglect and indirect self harm here point out, to me, that he saw the "role" he gave himself as fulfilled at that point and waited to die.

eichi stands over economic or social factors that could ostracize and dehumanize him but funnily enough he manages to do so himself by treating his body as a tool and his happiness as an option that got overshadowed by a need to succeed.

this vulnerability makes him, despite how vague the descriptions of his illness are and despite how unrelatable his wealth is, a very satisfying character imo. it is engaging to me. certain limits are removed for him but he created new ones, specifically because he did not see himself as something worth sustaining once he becomes useless. imo, eichi applied the idea that a lifes worth can be measured in its ability to function in an industry to himself. and spiralled over it, entirely inverting his uncanny amount of bodily autonomy. it is clear how the situation he is in worsens his mental health like that. and how his mental health in turn worsens his physical health. it is inseperable.

i cant really get into !! era eichi because i genuinely just dont... know enough. the fine tradition of having a weekly H-Day stands out, though. after all, eichi has new bigger ambitions and is, once again, inviting his own ruin through overexhaustion. so his friends (the new addition of having friends is essential) had to forcefully make him stop for at least one day a week. that is pretty big. i think.

this is true for many marginalized existences so it of course applies to disabled people: if neither your surroundings nor yourself permit you to feel human and therefore assign your person an inherent worth and lovability... sometimes you need a friend to do so!!! social circles are the best support structure for your health.

The Sakuma Family

(i will get into ritsu and rei seperately later on. there are just a few concepts i want to get out of the way that apply to both of them.)

so... to get a little theoretical; the concept of "disability" relies on the concept of a "normative" human existence. "disability" is an otherness and can therefore easily be seen as a "monstrocity" in the eyes of ignorant people, something that instils fear. (there is a reason why a lot of horror exploits disabled bodies as a source of terror and uses mental hospitals as settings) from an able-bodied point of view it seems "desirable" to be a "normative human", yet the disabled person knows that is not a possibility and knows their worth and place as a human in human spaces. at least ideally. able-bodied people sometimes lack this understanding. there is nothing to be desired about an able body or fixed about a disabled body, beyond what medical care can do for ones quality of life.

if you have read operetta, this is all very familiar;

operetta, chapter 17 and, well, here we are. vampires. a very basic truth about the sakuma family that i hate to see denied is that they are human. there is nothing supernatural about them. they are just disabled. or, to turn the idea around, if one was to assign them vampiristic traits and such... is vampirism not a disability and should be taken seriously as such? if you consider the limits a vampire has while coordinating through their life, is that not... strangely just a disabled experience? (MINUS THE KILLING PEOPLE OBVIOUSLY but much modern fiction is sympathetic towards vampires instead and does not display them as violent)

anyway, to hear it from the horses mouth (the horse is rei):

operetta, chapter 19 the sakuma family is a curious case. their condition is hereditary though the severity varies from person to person. it comes up in many stories but for the most part i am thinking about operetta, resurrection sunday, and devils right now. how did this all start? what made an entire family turn to live as vampires, with blood ceremonies and all that? what bizarre kind of generational trauma is this?

(and, while it does not play a role as important as it did for eichi, they are rich. this is important to mention. many normal experiences just dont apply to them because wealth makes them immune. ... how did the sakumas become this influential anyway.)

for an unspecified but long time, an entire family managed to mentally entirely seperate themselves from the rest of humanity because of their chronical illness. personally, i have no doubt this is the result of a world that othered them first. whether the main motivator at play here is a defensiveness towards a society that cannot understand you or an internal need to turn hardships into an identity that can be carried with pride. it takes a considerable amount of emotional strength and planning for the "hey we are human actually" declaration in operetta to occur.

they are, weirdly, what people mean when they talk about a "toxic anti-recovery mindset". (an expression i struggle with because this sort of rhetoric is often used to discriminate against disabled people who speak up for themselves or ask for accomodations. but that aside) it is an amount of pride that leads to internal self destruction.

of course, as is the case with every single character i write about in this post, a lot of it has to do with aesthetics and being chuuni to sell gacha cards. so we know the reason behind the reason. but it makes for some bizarre in-universe implications.

but in any case, the fact that their identity as false vampires is something they have always carried, that modern society sees as "mystical and sexy" has a hilarious side effect: their disability becomes marketable under the guise of vampirism. it is hard to recover from that.

so again, we have a double-edged sword: to present ones medical condition as a "persona" declares it as a performative act, something that is done to bring joy to an audience. personal detriment is not considered here, since it stops being a part of ones being and starts to become "work". the time and place of ones symptoms has to overlap with the time and place of ones performances. or people will hate you for your uncontrollable illness. however, rei and ritsu are both also able to carry their condition with a sort of playfulness. it is almost something like the act of "reclaiming" when they purposefully choose to larp a little for fun. usually, when a scene mentions their disability in the context of comic relief, they have control over the situation that unfolds and even initiate it and invite others to laugh alongside them. this can be a slippery slope to getting harrassed of course.... but i am rather baffled by the amount of dominance they have in social interactions. so it just reads as a healthy amount of dark humour to me.

this, and the consistent writing of their symptoms, and the ability to easily compare it to real existing illnesses, easly make them my favourite instance of written disabled people in the series. their illness has an impact on their behaviour and it is detrimental! and they are both very human in the way they attempt to cope. there is a certain realism to it. idek.

many people seem to headcanon them with myalgic encephalomyelitis, which is a really good explanation, and i personally want to suggest narcolepsy. the point being, there is room to accurately assign them a realistic relatable and understandable condition, even if nothing is ever named in canon. and of course they are mentioned to have an iron deficiency.

bear with this slightly "out there" theory for a moment: have you or a friend ever tried to get a compensation for your disadvantage at school or uni? it can be really hard to do, if it is possible at all, even if it is something very simple (more time, a slightly different enviroment, the ability to drink or sit, etc) yumenosaki is a school for performance arts, mainly idols. bold statement: it might genuinely be easier to get/explain an accommondation for your "idol quirk" (something that would be actively fostered), than for your disability. not that yumenosaki is very strict or asks for a lot anyway, its just something that has been on my mind.

here is another funny thing i have been thinking about: both of them crave juice, soda, and fruit - sugary yet fresh stuff. i feel like this is not uncommon for people who suffer from excessive tiredness and fatigue, the body subconsciously wishes for some sugar intake to "wake up".

Inventing a Guy to Cope. Rei

funny title aside... he... did that... ? rei is a curious example of how different mostly unrelated traumas can overlap. he had no childhood, thanks to his family that considered him "mature" at a very young age and his early status as a child star. and his bad health is a miserable addition to this. it is quite scary to image how pressured to do right he felt growing up and how that resulted in the fragmented distanced way he views himself; reinventable, and ultimately unknowable. (to others AND himself)

despite his bad health he has always been working and performing "well". he was praised for his remarkable talents but rarely had the chance to stop and patch himself up. whether this was a result of a pushy enviroment or his personality as a people pleaser who cannot show weakness and imperfection is hard to tell. maybe both.

the state he is in in Crossroad is fascinating to me. he all but directly lists the criteria of depression to keito when he attempts to explain his sorrows. he is restless, rowdy, mentions later on that he enrolled in yumenosaki against his familys wishes. he is very much searching for joy and his own identity in the middle of a health emergency. this has to do with the way he was raised, only knowing how to exist for and serve others, how he was made to sell a made-up version of himself, but i also believe it has to do with the fact he has started to exclude himself from his familys traditions and values. he started to cast away the uncertain "monstrosity" existence of his family (as well as the false idolhood others assigned him) and instead embraces humanity as a chronically ill person.

crossroad, i forgor which chapters

this of course marks a starting point of change that later results in him making up the wagahai pronouns persona - something he specifically created with the intention of looking vulnerable and weak. because he yearned to do less, to recover from years of exhaustion.

in a way, i want to say both, the ore pronouns persona and the wagahai pronouns persona, are attempts to cope with expectations he cannot handle physically or mentally. one relies on masking, on appearing stronger than he actually is and therefore invulnerable, and the other relies on exaggerating his weakness, in an attempt to finally let others recognize it. i think as a disabled person, both are performances one has to learn in order to "function" in everyday life, while remaining safe from serious harm (doing badly at ones job or classes, angering others that hold power over your life). since ones circumstances are often hard to grasp for someone who does not share the same illness, there is no choice but to simplify and exaggerate until symptoms become tangible concepts or to just brave through it, at the cost of ones health and future time.

rei in particular, for better or for worse, is incredibly capable when he needs to be and unfortunately that means others will often not take his health seriously because they saw him function just fine the other day. this is a general problem but an obvious offender in that regard is koga, who comments on reis fatigue constantly and loves to create a bit of a high expectations toxic work enviroment (and, to be fair, rei terrorizes him too. kogas hostility towards rei is sometimes ableist but not really rooted in ableism. after all koga is highly aware how performative the wagahai persona can be and is a huge motivational and inspirational factor in reis life. its a whole complex)

!! era holds some positive changes. his mental need to please other people remains a persistent source of trouble for him (and others) but he seems to really let his body recover and lives a more nocturnal life. both kuro and kaoru mention that he looks more healthy (in succession match???? i think??) since he finally stopped enforcing a normal day/night cycle on his body just to comply with social norms. you can indeed be very human even if you break human-made rules.

(additional comment: "becoming human" is of course a theme for each of the eccentrics and not uniquely tied to disability, it very much has to do with the objectification one goes through as a public figure. but this is a post about disability and it really fits in well. so here we go)

Literally Just a Realistic Teenager. Ritsu

ritsu, while not really being among my favourite characters, is my favourite instance of a disabled character in enstars. partly because of his writing and partly because my personal experiences overlap with his so much it sometimes is painful - but always extremely satisfying. just had to get that out.

ritsu is perhaps the most visibly ill. he blacks out and sleeps where he stands, everywhere, without control and often requires other peoples (well, mostly maos) assistance in order to remain safe when this happens. he also repeated a year of school, specifically because of his disability.

he is painfully aware of this. that he looks ill, that he behaves ill, that he is an underachiever compared to others of the same age, even to people younger than him.

ritsu developed unique behaviours to deal with this: he is very dependent and clingy and often asks others to do things for him, unapologetically. that does not mean asking for help doesnt hurt his pride, just that it is the most viable strategy for everyday survival that he ended up with. other than that, he clings more to the vampire identity than rei does. either to defy his older brother or, and this is important imo, because it is the one safety net he has to fall back on that makes him feel "normal" and like he is a regular being. albeit not human. no matter how much others might blame him for his shortcomings or how much he is a failure in the eyes of society, he is very regular for a "vampire". under the logic developed by his family, he is just a child, and the world at large is to blame. it is an easier truth to accept than facing systematic injustice and prejudice in a human world.

the stories i mentioned in another part above aside, i really love what ensemble band does for him; ritsu gets extremely irritated with mao in the prologue, seemingly out of nowhere. his character is allowed to express this sort of anger and to take it out on others, even if it is unjust and misguided. it is not pretty and it isnt good behaviour but it is a very heartfelt emotion to me.

its obvious that he cannot compete with others and that this will always been seen as his personal fault instead of a circumstance he cannot influence. and more than that: no one appreciates the real efforts he makes. for instance, getting himself out of bed in time for classes is difficult for regular teenagers and straight up hellish for ritsu. but he manages to do so a lot later on. instead of acknowledging that this is a real accomplishment on his part and possibly really exhausting and bad for his comfort in the long run, this is seen as doing the bare minimum.

while it is not correct, the malice ritsu sometimes treats others with comes from an comprehensible place. able-bodied ignorance can appear as purposeful slights made by those more privileged than him.

yet he learns to conform. his friends are important to him. knights success is important to him. (thought mental health probably played a role here too and made things even harder prior to his third year of high school) and yet;

seven bridge, chapter 24, but its really just an example i had at hand

the remarks stay the same. his peers still cannot help but brand him as "just lazy", even if they are kind and understanding otherwise and habour no ill intent. so i would like to ask: how long can he keep this up? how hard is this on him?

i dont think i need to explain just how common and hurtful it is to be accused of "laziness". probably the single most irritating comment someone with fatigue will hear every single day.

however, on the flipside, ritsu has perhaps the most people who care for him in comparison with other characters, though they sometimes complain (communication is hard, care is hard, everyone in enstars is very young and i cannot bring myself to see those comments as malice. its a mixture of ignorance and ones own burdens) there is mao, obviously. tsumugi is a very funny example. knights, of course, in particular naru. (at least based on my humble knights readings)

quite interesting how he just decided mao is his caretaker, now and in the future. i shared a few of my thoughts on caretaking here. this is.... a huge responsibility to just put on someones shoulders, to say the least. he shouldnt be doing this but i think it speaks for itself that this is a problem that is on his mind. ITS IS A REALLY IMPORTANT TOPIC TO BRING UP, especially since, the younger you are, the harder it is to get insurance to pay for your care. yes, he is often just teasing mao, but ritsu is looking for ways to get through life. by learning to be as independent as possible, whenever possible. though often you really just find yourself at the mercy of friends and family.

Inter-Sibling Violence

apologies, i will be done with the sakumas soon. i didnt know how to fit this in at the start.

the relationship between rei and ritsu, as people with the same disability who experiences different symptoms and challenges, is worth thinking about. infighting within people of the same disability is very common since experiences can be so different, there are no universal truths or opinions. with different lifestyles come different expectations for what is "normal" and sometimes pressure and social norms can cause someone to shift blame onto others who have no achieved the same things in life.

rei and ritsu are said to have been very close as small children and likely depended on each other a lot. i can see how reis fostering nature and ritsus needy nature developed alongside each other and enforced each other.

time and time again, rei says that he is a "less severe" case, that ritsu has it worse. he jets around the world because he feels forced to do so, when ritsu just wanted emotional support from him to begin with. ritsu stayed alone at home, sheltered and likely caged by their families convictions. but! i want to suggest the following: as much as it hurt him, it was important for reis health to be away from his family, too. i dont think staying there would have been good for him. his absence and the experiences he made away from home were an important catalyst for the positive family development we see in operetta.

of course, rei means well. he cares. he is trying to have a positive impact. yet from ritsus point of view, all of this must feel terribly condescending, especially with how much rei babies him. there is just one year between them. this is barely anything when it comes to sibling inferiority complexes the brain can make up. rei, who is successful and famous and beloved and, most importantly, proclaims to have it "easier than him", is trying to find a cure for him. from ritsus point of view this must be unbearable. their lives are so different when they basically started at the very same point of origin.

more than that, rei shoulders the sketchy blood rituals himself, out of love of course, but if one was more jaded, one could assume he doesnt think ritsu would be able to stomach the responsibility.

you will always compare yourself to your siblings in unhealthy ways but ritsu is just doing this on hard mode, i fear.

HHHRAGAHHHH GHHH ghgghrhgh. Niki

nikis writing is... driving me up a wall sometimes, to say the least. dont get me wrong, i love him. to an extend i understand that his single-mindedness and shallowless has purpose to it. in fact, i adore these character traits. he really seems to be behind four mental barriers at all times, unable to let deeper thoughts touch him, lest they make him succumb to despair. (yet nikis specific flavour of menhera cannot quite shine since... well, he has to stand next to himeru all the time)

the descriptions we get of nikis illness are nonsensical, at least to my knowledge. you could imagine he has something like hyperthyroidism. this never really gets explored though. at some point ENGstars mentions he has "gastroptosis or whatever" (the "or whatever" is part of his dialogue - niki really doesnt give a fuck), which makes no sense at all. weirdly enough, it would even be strangely in character if this was just a misconception.

so, can anyone take niki to a doctor? has this happened and i just wasnt there for it? there is no excuse why no one is considering medical care when it comes to him. except that he often is the butt monkey of jokes the writers want to make and has to stay available for it. more than that; his parents just left him alone like this? as a child? did he get an allowance at least? this cannot be legal, right? i wait for the day this comes up as a topic but i fear it is in vain. (please tell me if it actually did. i dont follow niki that closely) this is an unbelievable thing to do to a healthy child, yet alone one with a severe illness. we are basically looking at denial of assistance.

so many things surrounding nikis story are designed to make him as miserable as possible. i cannot help but feel that he exists purely as comic relief, for funny bickering, and superficial drama. i dont really like that at all, his misery just gets exploited.

EVEN SO... his self-image is actually really fascinating. as rinne likes to point out again and again, niki has no self-worth. he works two jobs, one of which he hates, he constantly gets into dangerous situations, and he will do anything just for some crumbs, and quickly forgets when others treat him badly. and of course, the worst bit:

es!! main story, please dont make me go find it

to some degree, he just accepts this as something he deserves. there is no consideration for his own quality of life, somewhere along the lines it seems like he got conviced just surviving is all he gets. he internalized self-degredation to a dangerous degree and i never see anyone mention this mental affliction specifically as a comorbidity of his disability. to me, there is without a doubt a relation here. sure, maybe he would still fight with this otherwise, just because he had to witness his fathers fall from grace as a child and knows there is a stigma attached to his name now. but i think you can tell it is more than that, from the way he is ashamed to beg (even in a life or death scenario, as seen in hot limit), as if his condition was his own fault.

this circles back to the point i made earlier for eichi; how much nikis life is worth, is measured in his economical value.

of the characters i have spoken of so far, nikis is financially the most accurate to real life. there is no safety net for him, no convenient family wealth.

(at this point it feels important to mention that somehow rinne manages to be the only person entirely aware of the danger and desires to change nikis mindset, YET he is a huge strain on nikis health. i dont know how those two function.)

Just a Lamb. Tatsumi

tatsumis specific trauma is a unique one: while most other characters struggle with conditions they were born with or developed as they grew up, tatsumis injury is the result of strain and violence. those are two different pairs of shoes, though the outcome may be similar. whether it is worse to be born into circumstances you cannot escape or to have to live with having something thrust upon you unfairly is up to personal judgement. pain is not really quantifiable. its just important to keep in mind, i think. under the circumstances tatsumi grew up in, he has his own burdens. it is very easy in many ways to compare and contrast him with eichi. of course this applies to how they used their bodies too: as an expandable resource. they had ideals for their school life (and beyond) that just seemed far more important and they both ended up in hospital because of this. (+ we know tatsumis surroundings were purposefully manipulated to destroy him)

and, of course, tatsumi got attacked later on. he never really talks about it directly but his legs seem to talk for him, in ways.

the story does not quite make it clear whether his occasional weakness and pain are the result of old injuries or entirely psychosomantic, and i dont think there is a real need to know, as a reader. in fact, in a certain light, i think it can be considered good that we dont know for certain: it would be relevant for tatsumi himself, sure, since it would influence which kinds of treatments and help he can seek out. however, i think the ambiguity may foster a certain level of sympathy in readers.

often psychosomatic problems are not taken seriously enough in real life: they cannot be proven physically and they dont fit into the neat little boxes that the ICD wants you to believe exist, so they cannot be defined on paper or easily explained to doctors or insurance providers.

to foster empathy with his situation requires his character to be lovable and for the narrative to treat him with care as well. which is thankfully the case. alkaloid are dear with him and, despite the fact he cannot perform in his work enviroment all the time, he is very respected for his other skills. he is a well-rounded person.

all that aside. it is absolutely worth to mention tatsumi pre-injury, too. he came up with a form of small-scale universal income among a semi-union at school. without getting too much into all that. (obbligato really seems like required lecture in the realm of enstars stories) the entire concept strives for social equality and is extremely anti-discrimination. it fundamentally goes against the idea that someone needs to "deserve" care, and is the opposite of the mindset i described with eichi and niki above. he never had to make first-hand experiences with disability to be extremely compassionate. this seems really rare among people in real life, even those who preach altruism.

While we are Here. K.... Kaname

as mentioned, i spoke a little about kaname before. so i wont get into the complex of caregiving.

it is extremely satisfying we got to meet kaname, if only for one event story. he does not have to remain a faceless motivation behind himeru and tatsumis lives, he thankfully became humanized.

the entire conflict around kaname at the moment is a matter of bodily autonomy. how much of your person can be in anothers hand, ethically? there is no excuse for the theft of his (idol) identity through himeru but the damage is done now. ideally, you dont want any part of yourself to depend on others but the disabled reality is that this is very often impossible. especially for kaname. there simply is no one else who could be responsible for him right now and, to be fair, at least when it comes to medical care, himeru seems to behave very responsibly.

repeating what has been said in the other post but i am worried for kanames seemingly inevitable reintroduction to the story. he has been in a comatose state for a year. if he wakes (since this is fiction, it is possible to exchange 'if' for 'when', realistically it really would be an 'if' though) he would most likely be confronted with permanent neurological and physical damage and years of rehabilitation. at least logically. (not to mention the psychological shock) would this be written with compassion and a sense of realism? it makes for a compelling source of conflict and emotional hardships that could be extremely worthwhile to explore. i just cant entirely bring myself to trust the writers with this one but i would love to be convinced otherwise.

that is, of course, if they dont somehow just skip rehabilitation entirely and declare it a miracle healing.....

imo, the in-game discourse between characters is just as important as his future development. i just really hope autonomy and recovery will be large topics.

He doesnt go here, but. Adonis

so bringing him up just really feels necessary within the context of this post because of his interests. one of adonis hobbies is sign language and accessibility.

this is, i think, maybe the best thing they ever did with his "protector" persona. it just fits so well, it is a direct conversion of ideals to actions. knowing undead songs have been translated for a deaf audience in canon is extremely wholesome and uplifting, even if it is entirely inconsequential for the story and just something that gets mentioned.

(now that sandstorm is out on engstars, you can check that out too for further mentions of this! if i could wish for one thing, it would be for the stories to acknowledge that there are tons of independent sign languages and i would love to know which one adonis and rei speak... you ever think about how adonis speaks like four languages fluently. at least.)

nightless city live, chapter 3

everyone in undead loved that and supported the vision. to see koga, who is usually against anything but musical performances and wishes to express art freely, praise the idea really puts deaf identity and accessibility in a great light. it is a very positively radical forwardthinking idea.

so, i just wanted to mention that. adonis is treated horribly by the narrative a lot, it entirely fails to grasp his identity and is insensitive towards foreign cultures, but i would die for him i think.

finishing thoughts

like mentioned, please absolutely let me know if you have different related ideas or recommendations. or corrections, or worries over something i wrote!!! learning and improving is always great. i am sorry i could not get into so many other characters, the ones i wrote about are those that i feel confident enough to comment on. in the future i would love to meet maguro!! i just havent really read any mama stories at all :'''3

i feel like i barely said anything at all and barely engaged with text enough since i didnt get into any character specifically. i would love to write another post about ritsu or rei or both. a draft for it has been sitting around for ages (as did the draft for this post, lol) but i hope someone will find an interesting thought in here somewhere.

all in all, enstars is actually... surprisingly nice to read for the disability in there??? even if it is disappointing in handling many other things. of course, the writings not always ideal (i read hidden beast just the other day and the ableism in there took years off my life) but often its really nice. nothing hits quite like seeing real emotions and experiences through some metaphorical stylized anime lense, you feel.

anyway thank you for listening. i am actually for real done now.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Stacey Coleen Lubag

Published: Jan 18, 2024

A recent study has found that the size of men’s social networks, particularly their close and extended friendship circles, is related to their mental health. The findings stem from research conducted over a span of four years — which found that men with fewer friends in these networks are more likely to experience higher levels of depressive symptoms, both in the present and in the future. The study was published in Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being.

Prior research has long suggested a link between social connections and mental health, but specific, long-term data focusing on adult men has been lacking. This study fills that gap by focusing on “social network investment” — a term that describes the time and resources individuals devote to building and maintaining social networks. Unlike social support, which deals with the quality of these interactions, social network investment emphasizes the structural aspects, such as the number of friends or the frequency of interaction.

Researchers at Deakin University in Australia aimed to explore the association between social network investment and mental health specifically in men. This demographic has historically reported fewer emotionally supportive connections compared to women, raising concerns about the potential impact on their mental health. Particularly in established adulthood, a life stage marked by significant transitions such as career choice and parenthood, understanding these social dynamics could be key to developing public health strategies aimed at improving men’s mental health.

The study utilized data from the Men and Parenting Pathways (MAPP) Study, involving 507 Australian men aged between 28 and 32 years at the beginning of the study. All men were recruited between 2015 and 2017 through community organizations, social media, and word of mouth.

The researchers collected data at five different points, analyzing the relationship between various aspects of social network investments — like time spent with friends, and the size of friendship networks. They also studied and collected data on mental health outcomes, including depression, anxiety, and stress. Then, they employed linear regression models with generalized estimating equations — a statistical method ideal for examining both immediate and long-term relationships in the data.

Men with fewer friends in both close and extended networks reported higher levels of depressive symptoms. This association was observed not just concurrently but also longitudinally — indicating that the size of these social networks could predict depressive symptoms a year later.

Engaging in activities like eating meals and physical activities with friends was associated with better mental health outcomes. “Men’s extended friendship network size and sharing a meal with friends were negatively associated with concurrent anxiety and stress,” the study reports. This highlights benefits of social interactions, where even simple activities like dining together can offer significant mental health advantages.

However, these benefits appeared to be immediate and did not have a long-term impact on reducing future mental health issues. In addition, the study found no significant link between social drinking activities and men’s mental health, either positively or negatively.

Despite its comprehensive approach, a notable aspect of the study is its potential for unmeasured factors that may have influenced the results — such as the quality of friendships or individual personality traits. The reliance on self-reported data could introduce biases, and the last two waves of data collection coincided with the COVID-19 pandemic, which might have affected social interactions. Furthermore, the study’s focus on an Australian cohort raises questions about the applicability of the findings to other cultural contexts.

“Our findings demonstrate certain facets of social network investment may play a more important role in men’s mental health than others, with a lack of close and extended friendship networks appearing to have a particularly detrimental influence on men’s depressive symptoms a year later,” the researchers concluded.

The study, “Social network investment of men: Cross-sectional and longitudinal associations with mental health problems”, was authored by Kayla Mansour, Christopher J. Greenwood, Lauren M. Francis, Imogene Smith, Craig A. Olsson, and Jacqui A. Macdonald.

--

Abstract

Internationally, there is growing attention on links between social isolation and mental health problems. Here, we use unique Australian longitudinal data to investigate associations between adult men's (n = 507; age M = 29.90, SD = 1.31) social network investments and their concurrent and subsequent mental health problems. In linear regressions, using generalised estimating equations (GEEs), we examined associations between social network investment (time with friends, network size and various activities with friends) and mental health symptoms (depression, anxiety and stress) across five timepoints. Models were adjusted for waves of outcome and potential confounders. Cross-sectionally, each social network investment variable, except for drinking with friends, was negatively associated with depressive symptoms. Men's extended friendship network size and sharing a meal with friends were negatively associated with concurrent anxiety and stress. Time spent and physical activity with friends was also negatively associated with concurrent stress. In longitudinal analyses, after adjusting for prior depressive symptoms, only the number of friends in close and extended networks remained protective against depressive symptoms 1 year later. Results did not differ by fatherhood or relationship status. Programs designed to strengthen men's investment in social networks are recommended to reduce men's depressive symptoms.

[..]

Discussion

In our study, across 5 years of data collection, on average 19% of men spent no time with friends, 5% reported having no close friends and 2.8% reported having no extended friendship networks. This low investment in social networks is consistent with reports of men's social connections in Australia and elsewhere (Arbers et al., 2014; Umberson et al., 2022) and was linked to poorer concurrent and subsequent depressive symptoms. Specifically, smaller close and extended friendship networks and less time spent with friends were associated with higher levels of concurrent depressive symptoms. When examined longitudinally, fewer friends in both close and extended networks remained a risk for depressive symptoms 1 year later. In analyses examining anxiety or stress symptoms, there were fewer cross-sectional, and no longitudinal associations were found with social network investment variables. When we examined the types of activities that men engaged in with friends, our study found that eating meals or being physically active with friends and helping friends with tasks were linked to a lower risk of concurrent but not future depressive symptoms. Drinking alcohol with friends was not associated with any concurrent or future risk for mental health problems. Our findings highlight the associations between social network investments and mental health risks and lend support to international pronouncements that poor social connections represent a public health concern (Holt-Lunstad, 2022).

A key finding from our study relates to the association between men's network size and depressive symptoms, which was evident both cross-sectionally and longitudinally. We extend on prior cross-sectional research (Juvonen et al., 2022; Milner et al., 2015), both by identifying mental health risks specifically in men and providing evidence for longitudinal impacts. Our adjustments for prior levels of mental health also extend upon previous longitudinal evidence (Bruine de Bruin et al., 2020; Milner et al., 2015), by demonstrating that the numbers of friends in men's close and extended social networks are linked to changes in their depressive symptoms over time. Notably, the apparent importance of network size coincided with a lack of longitudinal evidence for the effects of time spent with friends on men's mental health outcomes. It may be that even in the absence of in-person interactions (e.g. time spent with friends), larger social networks elicit a perception of others' availability that may be protective over time. Much like perceived social support, the mental representation of one's social network availability may be protective against depression through an individual's sense of security and belonging (Ioannou et al., 2019). The knowledge that social ties exist may provide reassurance of self-worth and value (Ioannou et al., 2019). They are also, at the very least, a pre-requisite for a sense of belonging, which has been posited to be a fundamental human need and deprivation, which places individuals at profound risk of emotional disturbances (Baumeister & Leary, 1995). There may be gender-based differences in preferences for social connection, with research suggesting men typically place importance on larger impersonal groups compared to women who focus more on small close groups (Baumeister, 1997). With approximately 3.8%–6.4% of men in our study indicating that they have no close friendship networks, there is a substantial mental health concern for these individuals. Given social connections are a key psychological need (Maslow & Lewis, 1987), this study presents evidence of the psychological ramifications for men when this need is not met.

Although time spent with friends was not related to men's depressive symptoms longitudinally, concurrent associations were evident. Although it is possible that time spent with one's social network at the moment may be beneficial in attenuating depression, an alternative explanation is that individuals with elevated depressive symptoms spend less time with friends in comparison to those with lower depressive symptoms. Depressive symptoms include a lack of energy and enjoyment, impacting the inclination to spend time with others. In past research, depression has been linked to negative appraisals of and less involvement in social interactions (Santini et al., 2020; Steger & Kashdan, 2009). However, directionality in the cross-sectional relationships cannot be ascertained.

When examining anxiety and stress, cross-sectional, negative associations were found with extended but not close network sizes. These findings align with past research showing weaker social ties (e.g. acquaintances and distant others) are important for a sense of connection and well-being (Sandstrom & Dunn, 2014). Research suggests that when there is less pressure to develop a close social connection (as per weaker ties), individuals may feel more inclined to engage in conversation based on important topics (Small, 2013). In turn, this may play a key role in bridging access to information and support and in relieving feelings of stress or anxiety.

We also found that time spent with friends was concurrently linked to stress but not anxiety. Spending more time with friends may be particularly beneficial for minimising stress as it may act as a psychological distraction (Wolfers & Schneider, 2021). Given distractions have been found to assist in the regulation of emotions, spending time with friends may allow men to experience ‘down time’ from stressful thoughts and therefore minimise the activation of the amygdala temporarily (the brain structure that regulates stress hormones) (Shafir et al., 2015).

Of the activities examined, sharing a meal with friends had the strongest concurrent association with all three mental health symptoms. In line with this, commensality has been found to be negatively associated with depression and suicidal ideation in previous research (Jung et al., 2022; Son et al., 2020). Specifically, in both men and women (N = 14,125), a study found that those who ate fewer meals together had poorer mental health (Son et al., 2020). Another study found that this association between dining with friends and decreased depression was significantly stronger for men than women (Jung et al., 2022). Eating together with friends may function as a way to facilitate social bonding and improve overall well-being (Julier, 2013). Social scientists have posited that sharing a meal is a social institution and is fundamental to sociality (Danesi, 2014). The sharing of food is central to celebrations in most cultures and provides not only nutritional nourishment but also emotional nourishment (Danesi, 2014; Julier, 2013). People report feelings of comfort and gratitude when sharing a meal with friends which may buffer against symptoms of depression, anxiety and stress (Danesi, 2014).

We also found engaging in physical activity with friends was also linked to lower concurrent depressive and stress symptoms. Given that physical activity (whether it be alone or with a friend) has physical and mental benefits through the release of endorphins (Rebar et al., 2015), our findings may not be specifically tied to the social act but more so through the general benefits of physical activity. Further, the benefits of physical activity with friends may dissipate quickly (Murphy et al., 2019), possibly explaining why this relationship did not hold longitudinally. Relative effects of group and individual physical activity on mental health over time have been explored in a mixed-gender sample of middle and older aged adults whereby group activity was beneficial for mental well-being but was not associated with reduced mental distress (Harada et al., 2019). Further research examining this, as well as the potential for benefits over time, is warranted specifically in men at the ‘established adulthood’ life stage.

Helping friends with tasks was associated with lower concurrent depressive symptoms. This act is a key aspect of engaging in instrumental social support, which has been found to be particularly central to men's friendships and mental health (Fiori & Denckla, 2012). Men often prefer to engage in instrumental support as opposed to emotional support (Fiori & Denckla, 2012). Further, helping others is linked to reduced levels of depression through self-regulation (Doré et al., 2017). It may be that helping others increases feelings of altruism, which is also linked to happiness and well-being (Post, 2014). Acts of altruism and helping others can remove the focus from oneself and likely elicits positive feedback from others, promoting feelings of well-being and a reduction in depression (Post, 2014).

Our study found that social drinking was not associated with any type of mental health symptoms. However, we only asked if men did or did not drink with friends, not the quantity of alcohol consumption or alcohol misuse with friends. Excessive alcohol consumption has been previously linked to a range of negative psychological and social outcomes (Rehm, 2011). Some men may be engaging in avoidant coping mechanisms through drinking with friends which may influence the relationship between this type of social investment activity and mental health (Livingston et al., 2021). Additionally, other men may drink only at moderate levels socially and benefit from the relaxing effects of sharing alcohol, which may offset any association. Further examination of high and low social drinkers is warranted in future research.

The associations we investigated between social network investment and men's mental health did not differ depending on fatherhood status or relationship status. Dyadic commitments and parenthood are both normative experiences of ‘established adulthood’ that may reduce the capacity for investment in peer networks (Mehta et al., 2020). However, the influence of social network investment on mental health may not be limited to the men directly experiencing these milestones. Men who are not in a relationship or who do not become fathers during established adulthood are likely to experience major social network changes (specifically reduced access to some peers) as a result of their peers starting families or getting married (Mehta et al., 2020). In this way, most men may experience some loss or change in peer networks at this life stage, reducing the likelihood of detecting differences in associations between social network investments and mental health outcomes.

==

Shockingly, improving men's mental health and reducing suicidal ideation may be best achieved by them being around and socializing with other men, and not by screaming at them about their "toxic masculinity," their "privilege," how "men can cry," or the ooga-booga Scooby-Doo monster of "the patriarchy."

[deer-sabaism]

facts about cannibalism — i have weird hyperfixations, i know.

what's cannibalism? cannibalism is the act of one individual of a species consuming all or part of another individual of the same species as food. cannibalism exists in the animal kingdom and rarely among humans for various reasons, ranging from survival to ritualistic practices.

the first type is defined as eating members of another group (conquered enemies, for example) and the second one, the eating of members of your own group, usually associated with ritual burial ceremonies.

cannibalism has been documented throughout human history, with one of the earliest recorded instances being the Gough’s Cave in England, where human bones from approximately 15,000 years ago showed signs of cannibalistic practices.

in certain cultures, cannibalism was performed as a ritualistic act, believed to transfer the strength or spirit of the consumed to the eater.

the Fore people of Papua New Guinea practiced transumption, a form of cannibalism, until the late 20th century, which led to the spread of the fatal prion disease kuru.

throughout history, there have been numerous accounts of cannibalism for survival. sailors lost at sea, explorers in uncharted territories, and victims of sieges and famines have resorted to consuming human flesh.

the case of the Uruguayan Air Force Flight 571, which crashed in the Andes in 1972, is a well-documented instance where survivors ate the deceased to stay alive.

many cultures have myths and folklore featuring cannibalistic giants or monsters, such as the Wendigo in Algonquian folklore, which is said to embody both the act of cannibalism and the insatiable greed that leads to it.

cannibalism has been a recurring theme in literature and film, often used to explore themes of survival, horror, or the breakdown of societal norms. movies like "The Silence of the Lambs" and books like "Hannibal" by Thomas Harris have brought cannibalism into popular culture.

cannibalism is illegal in most countries, though the act itself is not explicitly mentioned in the law; rather, it is often prosecuted under laws against murder, desecration of corpses, or assault.

in medical science, the transplantation of human organs and tissues can be seen as a form of cannibalism, though it is, of course, conducted for life-saving purposes and with consent.

research into prion diseases like kuru has provided valuable insights into neurodegenerative diseases and the risks associated with consuming human neural tissue.

with advances in lab-grown meats and other synthetic food technologies, some speculate about the ethical implications of creating human flesh for consumption without the need for death or harm.

cannibalism can cause severe psychological effects, including trauma, PTSD, guilt, shame, dissociation, social isolation, and stigmatization. it can deeply impact identity and self-perception, particularly when conflicting with cultural or religious beliefs. survival cannibalism may lead to survival guilt, while instances involving psychopathy can reflect broader antisocial behaviors. long-term mental health issues like depression and anxiety are also common. thw psychological impact varies based on individual resilience and circumstances.

climate change could potentially increase instances of cannibalism in the animal kingdom as resources become scarcer and species are forced into closer quarters or new territories.

there have been rare instances of self-cannibalism, known as autophagy, where individuals consume parts of their own bodies, often as a result of mental illness or extreme starvation.

cannibalism is studied in various academic fields, including anthropology, psychology, and biology, to understand its historical, cultural, and biological aspects.

educational discussions about cannibalism can challenge students to think critically about ethical issues, human behavior, and the diversity of cultural practices around the world.

cannibalism, a topic as old as humanity, spans across cultures and continents, revealing both dark and fascinating aspects of human history. Whether driven by necessity, ritual, or psychological compulsion, the act of consuming human flesh highlights social and ethical issues.

thanks for reading :)

[phantex1708]

Stalker Roleplay [M4M, Long-term, Discord, Semi-Literate to Advanced] 

TLDR: My character is a batshit man with a habit of stalking. He would pair well with a mean/distant older guy who is maybe a therapist, psychologist, or southern lol. He also would pair well with a younger guy who’s a fellow addict and/or very pathetic. This will be a toxic storyline!!

Hey there! I’m Cain, I’m 20, and I’ve been roleplaying in my free time for a few years now. It’s been a while since I’ve done any long-term stories, and I’m super excited to get back into it! As an artist, I prefer to roleplay with other people who also draw! I enjoy making art of my roleplay partners’ characters and doing art trades, but it’s pretty one-sided with a non-artist. I understand how this can be seen as rude or picky, but I just write better with fellow artists, sorry!! One of the main things I’m looking to do is merge my characters canon storyline with that of my partner’s character! 

I do not have a super specific plot in mind, as I want room to be able to shape it to be perfect for both of our characters. However, this is for sure an angsty roleplay. 

The character I will be using is named Cypress, a troubled man who immigrated to America from Poland. Growing up as a girl, he struggled to make friends due to his aversion to people. Peers saw him as strange for his intense obsessions over certain topics, as well as the extreme emotions he lacked control of. This, along with many other signs, led to him getting diagnosed with autism early in life. In his teen years, he discovered that alcohol could make him feel ‘normal’ and he could finally enjoy being around others. As he got increasingly comfortable sneaking out to parties and drinking heavily, he opened his horizons to other substances. In one of these parties, a ‘friend’ of his would hook up with him while he was heavily inebriated. When his family found out he was pregnant weeks later, Cypress was forced to marry Jacob and drop out of school. About a year later, with his new husband wanting to start a business in America, he had to move away from the few friends he had. Though, Jacob’s business wasn't booming as they had hoped, and they lived in poor conditions. Cypress tried to stop drinking for the sake of his son, and was successful for a short period. However, Jacob had his own alcohol issues, which developed into misdirected anger and abuse. While Cypress was verbally and mentally abusive towards his husband, Jacob was arguably more brutal. Three years after being married, Cypress’ husband attempted to kill him during one of their drunken arguments. He survived, and Jacob was imprisoned for his actions. Nonetheless, this led Cypress into a downward spiral. He had no job and his mental health was rapidly deteriorating. Instead of getting one, he turned to thievery and selling his nudes online. The only highlight in all of this was that he gained the freedom to begin his transition. Otherwise, things continued to get worse. His marriage undoubtedly left a detrimental impact on the relationships he would form. What started as learning about people he liked online slowly turned into staring through their windows late at night. Repeated offenses of stalking and harassment led to him losing custody of his son, and he lost the one thing that kept him somewhat grounded. Now, Cypress spends his time stalking different people who aren't interested in him and smoking with his buddies. Anyone who happens to actually have feelings for him is ignored and pushed away, as he only has interest in people when they don't like him. 

I want this roleplay to be about one of Cypress’ obsessions. He tends to get more attached to older men than younger ones, but it overall depends on the person. Additionally, one of his hyperfixations is cowboys, so anyone with a Southern accent is automatically a target, lol. If he’s forced to go to court-mandated therapy, I can also see him developing a thing for his therapist or psychologist, even if he doesn't like them at first. 

If you’re interested or have any questions, feel free to message me! I love to chat with my roleplay partners OOC, too, so never hesitate to reach out. :)

Note: While I love some good NSFW scenes, I don’t want this story to be purely smut. That being said, this roleplay will have more of those scenes than my other ones, as Cypress has a high libido and is a FREAK. 

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

I'm not necessarily pro-circumcision, but there ARE studies done on the safety and benefits of circumcision. In fact, in areas where STIs are very common, circumcision shows a marked negative impact on infection rates, including diseases like HIV. It also decreases incidence of genital herpes and penile cancer. I work in a NICU. I see circumcisions every day. Is it a perfect procedure? Not at all. It can be quite uncomfortable and no procedure is without risks. But it's not done without anesthetic and the babies almost always heal very quickly. I can't convince you in an anonymous ask on tumblr and I don't want to try, but you should look into some peer reviewed studies on circumcision on both sides of the argument.

Yeah anon. I’ve looked at peer-reviewed studies. And no amount of “oh well it SOMETIMES decreases risks of transmitting HIV” is going to justify the permanent mutilation of infant genitalia. As someone said in the replies on my first post, removing finger and toenails from infants can keep them cleaner and help prevent them from scratching themselves, but we aren’t going around removing those are we?

For any instance you can pull up of someone having a lower infection rate of HIV I could pull up an instance of an infant circumcision being botched to the extent the penis is lost or disfigured beyond just loss of foreskin.

It’s a matter of bodily autonomy, not a matter of if the infant remembers it. There are studies to show they do experience long term pain responses during recovery and psychologically it may impact how they react to contact with their genitals later in life. There’s also loss of sensation and less pleasure for partners because a circumcised penis head will generally displace lubricant and cause more friction that isn’t necessarily pleasurable.

[sexycosplayandgamergirls]

Effects of Cross Hormone Therapy.

The Comprehensive Impact of Hormone Replacement Therapy on Transgender Individuals: Physical, Psychological, and Athletic Considerations" By: Dr. Sydney Taylor

Introduction

Hormone therapy is a pivotal aspect of the transition process for many transgender individuals, profoundly impacting their physical and psychological well-being. Transgender men (assigned female at birth but identify as men) and transgender women (assigned male at birth but identify as women) often seek cross-sex hormone therapy to align their physical characteristics with their gender identity. This therapeutic intervention, which includes exogenous testosterone for transgender men and exogenous estrogen for transgender women, is considered medically necessary for many and has been shown to significantly improve quality of life.

The prevalence of transgender individuals has been historically challenging to estimate. However, recent surveys in the United States suggest that approximately 0.3-0.5% of the population identifies as transgender. As societal understanding and acceptance of transgender individuals have grown, so too has the number of people seeking hormone therapy.

Hormone therapy for transgender individuals involves carefully managed regimens to achieve desired physical transformations while monitoring for potential side effects. Testosterone therapy for transgender men induces virilization, suppressing feminizing characteristics and promoting the development of masculine features such as increased muscle mass, facial and body hair growth, and voice deepening. On the other hand, estrogen therapy for transgender women promotes feminization, aiding in breast development, fat redistribution, and the reduction of male-pattern hair growth.

While the benefits of hormone therapy are well-documented, there remain critical considerations and debates, especially regarding its impact on aspects like athletic performance and long-term health. For instance, the effects of gender-affirming hormones on muscle mass, strength, and endurance raise questions about fairness and inclusion in competitive sports.

In this article, we will delve into the multifaceted effects of hormone therapy on transgender individuals, drawing from a range of recent studies and clinical guidelines. We will explore the physiological changes induced by hormone therapy, its psychological impacts, and the broader implications for societal integration and acceptance of transgender individuals. Through this exploration, we aim to provide a comprehensive overview of how hormone therapy shapes the lives of transgender people, fostering a better understanding of its significance and complexities.

Effects of Hormone Replacement Therapy on Trans Men

Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) for transgender men, commonly involving the administration of exogenous testosterone, has profound and wide-ranging effects on both physical and psychological aspects of health. This section explores the various impacts of testosterone therapy on trans men, based on current research and clinical findings.

Physical Effects

Virilization: Testosterone therapy induces several masculinizing effects. Within the first three months, many trans men experience the cessation of menses (amenorrhea), an increase in facial and body hair, skin changes, and increased acne. These changes often include a shift in fat distribution and an increase in muscle mass, leading to a more masculine body shape​(tau-05-06-877)​.

Voice Deepening: One of the notable changes is the deepening of the voice, which occurs due to the growth of the laryngeal cartilage and thickening of the vocal cords. This process typically begins within 9 to 12 months of starting testosterone and can take up to two years to complete​(tau-05-06-877)​.

Clitoral Enlargement and Genital Changes: Testosterone causes an increase in clitoral size, which starts within the first three to four months and generally stabilizes by one year. Additionally, there is an increase in ovarian stromal tissue and potential cyst formation, mirroring changes seen in polycystic ovarian syndrome​(tau-05-06-877)​.

Body Composition: Testosterone therapy leads to increased lean body mass and upper body strength while concurrently decreasing body fat. This results in a more defined muscle structure and a reduced hip-to-waist ratio, contributing to a more traditionally masculine physique​(tau-05-06-877)​.

Hair Growth and Loss: Trans men often experience increased hair growth on the face, chest, abdomen, and other areas, while also potentially encountering male-pattern baldness, particularly if they are genetically predisposed​(tau-05-06-877)​.

Psychological and Cognitive Effects

Mood and Cognitive Changes: Testosterone has been shown to increase energy levels, aggression, and libido in trans men. Patients often report feeling more aligned with their gender identity and experience an improvement in visio-spatial abilities. Psychologically, many trans men feel more masculine and settled in their new gender role once testosterone therapy has commenced​(tau-05-06-877)​.

Reduction in Gender Dysphoria: The suppression of menstruation, which many trans men find distressing, is often reported as one of the most psychologically beneficial effects of testosterone therapy. The overall improvement in alignment with one's gender identity leads to better mental health outcomes and reduced stress levels​(tau-05-06-877)​.

Metabolic and Health Considerations

Cardiovascular and Metabolic Health: While testosterone therapy can adversely affect lipid profiles by increasing triglycerides and reducing HDL cholesterol, studies indicate that these changes do not translate into a higher risk of cardiovascular disease. Long-term studies show that the mortality rate for trans men on testosterone therapy is comparable to the general population​(tau-05-06-877)​.

Bone Health: Testosterone therapy helps maintain bone density and may even increase cortical bone size and thickness. This is crucial in preventing osteoporosis, a condition that trans men are at risk for if sex hormone levels are not adequately maintained​(tau-05-06-877)​.

Hematocrit and Red Blood Cell Production: Testosterone induces the production of erythropoietin, leading to increased red blood cell production. While this can result in higher hematocrit levels and a potential risk of polycythemia, careful monitoring and management can mitigate these risks​(tau-05-06-877)​.

Surveillance and Monitoring

Ongoing surveillance is critical for trans men undergoing testosterone therapy. Regular monitoring of hormone levels, lipid profiles, and bone density is recommended to ensure therapy is both effective and safe. Adjustments to dosage and the type of testosterone used may be necessary based on individual responses and health outcomes​(tau-05-06-877)​.

In summary, hormone replacement therapy with testosterone provides significant benefits for trans men, aligning physical characteristics with gender identity and improving mental health and quality of life. However, it requires careful management to address potential risks and ensure long-term health and well-being.

Effects of Hormone Replacement Therapy on Trans Women

Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) for transgender women primarily involves the administration of exogenous estrogen, often in combination with anti-androgens, to induce feminization and suppress masculinizing characteristics. This section explores the various impacts of estrogen therapy on trans women, based on current research and clinical findings.

Physical Effects

Breast Development: One of the most notable changes induced by estrogen therapy is breast development. Breast growth typically begins within two to three months after initiating treatment, with maximum development usually reached after two years. However, the extent of breast development varies among individuals, with many trans women opting for breast augmentation surgery to achieve their desired breast size and shape​(tau-05-06-877)​.

Skin and Hair Changes: Estrogen therapy leads to significant changes in skin texture, making it softer and less oily. There is also a reduction in facial and body hair growth, although additional hair removal methods like electrolysis or laser therapy are often necessary to achieve the desired feminine appearance. Over time, body hair becomes finer and less dense​(tau-05-06-877)​.

Body Composition: Estrogen therapy results in an increase in subcutaneous fat, particularly around the hips, buttocks, and thighs, contributing to a more typically feminine body shape. Concurrently, there is a decrease in muscle mass and strength, aligning more closely with typical female body composition​(tau-05-06-877)​.

Reduction in Libido and Erectile Function: A common effect of estrogen therapy is a reduction in libido and erectile function, which many trans women view positively as it aligns more closely with their gender identity. Additionally, there is a decrease in testicular volume due to suppressed gonadotropin production​(tau-05-06-877)​.

Psychological and Cognitive Effects

Mood and Emotional Well-being: Estrogen therapy has mood-modulating effects, often resulting in increased feelings of well-being and decreased depression scores. Many trans women report an increased sense of femininity and a calmer mood as a result of hormone therapy​(tau-05-06-877)​.

Reduction in Gender Dysphoria: Hormone therapy significantly reduces gender dysphoria, leading to improved mental health outcomes. The alignment of physical characteristics with gender identity alleviates distress and enhances overall quality of life​(tau-05-06-877)​.

Metabolic and Health Considerations

Cardiovascular Health: The metabolic effects of estrogen therapy include alterations in lipid profiles, such as decreased low-density lipoprotein (LDL) cholesterol and increased high-density lipoprotein (HDL) cholesterol. However, estrogen therapy, particularly oral formulations, can increase the risk of venous thromboembolism (VTE). Transdermal estrogen is often recommended to minimize this risk​(tau-05-06-877)​.

Bone Health: Estrogen plays a crucial role in maintaining bone density. Long-term estrogen therapy helps prevent osteoporosis, which is particularly important as anti-androgens and orchiectomy can reduce testosterone levels to very low levels, increasing the risk of bone demineralization. Regular bone density screening is recommended to monitor and manage this risk​(tau-05-06-877)​.

Fertility Considerations: Estrogen therapy, combined with anti-androgens, significantly reduces fertility. It is essential to discuss the potential impact on fertility with patients before starting hormone therapy and offer options for gamete storage if they wish to preserve their reproductive capabilities​(tau-05-06-877)​.

Surveillance and Monitoring

Ongoing surveillance is critical for trans women undergoing estrogen therapy. Regular monitoring of hormone levels, lipid profiles, and bone density is essential to ensure therapy is both effective and safe. Adjustments to dosage and the type of estrogen used may be necessary based on individual responses and health outcomes​(tau-05-06-877)​.

In summary, hormone replacement therapy with estrogen provides significant benefits for trans women, aligning physical characteristics with gender identity and improving mental health and quality of life. However, it requires careful management to address potential risks and ensure long-term health and well-being.

Effects of Hormone Replacement Therapy on Athletic Performance

Trans Women

The inclusion of transgender women in competitive sports has sparked considerable debate, particularly concerning the potential advantages retained after gender-affirming hormone therapy (GAHT). This section examines the impact of estrogen and anti-androgen therapy on athletic performance in trans women.

Strength and Muscle Mass:

Decrease in Muscle Mass: Estrogen therapy in trans women leads to a significant reduction in muscle mass and strength over time. Studies indicate that within the first year of feminizing hormone therapy, trans women experience a reduction in lean body mass and muscle area by approximately 5%. This decline continues beyond three years, aligning more closely with the muscle mass and strength of cisgender women​(tau-05-06-877)​​(577.full)​.

Muscle Strength: Despite the reduction, trans women generally retain a higher absolute muscle mass than cisgender women. However, their relative muscle strength, when corrected for lean mass, tends to be similar to cisgender women. Longitudinal studies have shown a steady decline in muscle strength, particularly in upper body strength, such as hand grip strength, which can decrease by 4-7% over the first year of hormone therapy​(tau-05-06-877)​​(577.full)​.

Cardiorespiratory Function:

VO2 Max and Endurance: Cardiovascular capacity, as measured by VO2 max, is a crucial determinant of performance in endurance sports. Trans women on long-term hormone therapy have been shown to have lower VO2 max compared to cisgender men but similar to cisgender women. This change reflects a decrease in hemoglobin and hematocrit levels, which are crucial for oxygen transport during intense exercise​(tau-05-06-877)​.

Running Performance: Trans women show a decline in running performance after starting GAHT. For instance, a study on trans women in the U.S. Air Force found that prior to hormone therapy, they ran 1.5 miles 21% faster than cisgender women. After two years of feminizing hormones, their running speed slowed but still remained 12% faster than their cisgender female counterparts ​(577.full)​.

Impact on Athletic Performance Over Time:

Short-term Effects: Within the first year of starting hormone therapy, trans women experience significant decreases in muscle strength and lean body mass. These initial changes are critical as they mark the beginning of alignment with the physical performance levels of cisgender women.

Long-term Effects: Over several years, the differences in performance metrics between trans women and cisgender women diminish further. By four years, many physical performance indicators, such as the number of push-ups and sit-ups performed, align more closely with those of cisgender women​(tau-05-06-877)​​(577.full)​.

Trans Men

Testosterone therapy for transgender men generally enhances physical performance, leading to increases in muscle mass and strength.

Strength and Muscle Mass:

Increase in Muscle Mass: Testosterone therapy significantly increases muscle mass and strength in trans men. Studies indicate that within the first year, there is a notable increase in lean body mass and muscle strength, aligning their physical capabilities closer to those of cisgender men​(tau-05-06-877)​ .

Muscle Strength: Trans men generally experience improvements in upper and lower body strength, with performance metrics such as push-ups, sit-ups, and running times reaching the levels of cisgender men within one to two years of starting hormone therapy ​(tau-05-06-877)​.

Cardiorespiratory Function:

VO2 Max and Endurance: Testosterone therapy enhances cardiorespiratory function, increasing hemoglobin and hematocrit levels, which improves oxygen transport during exercise. This leads to improved performance in endurance sports​(tau-05-06-877)​.

Running Performance: Before starting hormone therapy, trans men generally perform at a lower level compared to cisgender men. However, after one year of testosterone therapy, their performance in activities such as running significantly improves, aligning closely with that of cisgender men ​(tau-05-06-877)​.

Impact on Athletic Performance Over Time:

Short-term Effects: The initial year of testosterone therapy brings about rapid improvements in muscle mass, strength, and overall physical performance. These changes are vital for the physical alignment of trans men with their gender identity.

Long-term Effects: Over several years, trans men continue to experience improvements in physical performance, often exceeding the average performance of cisgender men by the fourth year of hormone therapy​(tau-05-06-877)​.

The effects of hormone replacement therapy on athletic performance in transgender individuals are complex and multifaceted. While feminizing hormone therapy in trans women reduces muscle mass and strength, bringing their physical capabilities closer to those of cisgender women, some residual advantages in certain performance metrics may remain. Conversely, testosterone therapy in trans men significantly enhances muscle mass, strength, and overall physical performance, aligning them closely with cisgender men. These findings highlight the need for nuanced guidelines in sports to ensure fair and inclusive participation for transgender athletes. Further longitudinal studies are necessary to fully understand the long-term implications of hormone therapy on athletic performance.

Conclusion

Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) plays a critical role in the transition process for transgender individuals, offering substantial benefits in aligning physical characteristics with gender identity and improving overall mental health and quality of life. For transgender men, testosterone therapy induces significant virilizing effects, including increased muscle mass, deepened voice, and cessation of menstruation, contributing to enhanced well-being and reduced gender dysphoria. Regular monitoring is essential to manage potential risks such as cardiovascular health and bone density.

For transgender women, estrogen therapy, often combined with anti-androgens, facilitates feminization through breast development, fat redistribution, and reduced body hair growth. Despite potential risks such as venous thromboembolism and bone health concerns, estrogen therapy markedly improves psychological well-being and quality of life. Close surveillance and appropriate adjustments to therapy ensure these benefits are maximized while minimizing adverse effects.

When considering athletic performance, HRT has a nuanced impact. Trans women experience a reduction in muscle mass and strength, aligning their performance more closely with cisgender women, though some advantages may persist. Conversely, testosterone therapy significantly enhances muscle mass, strength, and endurance in trans men, aligning their athletic capabilities with cisgender men.

Overall, hormone replacement therapy is a cornerstone of medical care for transgender individuals, fostering significant physical and psychological benefits. However, it necessitates careful management and monitoring to address and mitigate potential health risks. The complexities involved, especially concerning athletic performance, highlight the need for ongoing research and tailored guidelines to ensure fair and inclusive participation in sports and broader society. By understanding and addressing these multifaceted effects, healthcare providers can better support the transgender community, promoting health, well-being, and equality.

References

·  Unger, C. A. (2016). Hormone therapy for transgender patients. Translational Andrology and Urology, 5(6), 877-884. doi:10.21037/tau.2016.09.04

·  Roberts, T. A., Smalley, J., & Ahrendt, D. (2021). Effect of gender affirming hormones on athletic performance in transwomen and transmen: implications for sporting organisations and legislators. British Journal of Sports Medicine, 55(7), 577-583. doi:10.1136/bjsports-2020-102329

·  D’hoore, S., et al. (2022). Gender-affirming hormone therapy: An updated literature review with an eye on the future. Journal of Internal Medicine. doi:10.1111/joim.13274

·  Seal, L. J. (2015). A review of the physical and metabolic effects of cross-sex hormonal therapy in the treatment of gender dysphoria. Annals of Clinical Biochemistry, 52(1), 10-20. doi:10.1177/0004563214538340

·  Hembree, W. C., et al. (2017). Endocrine treatment of gender-dysphoric/gender-incongruent persons: An Endocrine Society clinical practice guideline. Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism, 102(11), 3869-3903. doi:10.1210/jc.2017-01658

·  Van Caenegem, E., et al. (2015). Bone mass, bone geometry, and body composition in female-to-male transsexual persons after long-term cross-sex hormonal therapy. Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism, 97(7), 2503-2510. doi:10.1210/jc.2012-3551

·  Wierckx, K., et al. (2012). Long-term evaluation of cross-sex hormone treatment in transsexual persons. Journal of Sexual Medicine, 9(10), 2641-2651. doi:10.1111/j.1743-6109.2012.02876.x

·  Colizzi, M., Costa, R., & Todarello, O. (2014). Hormonal treatment reduces psychobiological distress in gender identity disorder, independently of the attachment style. Journal of Sexual Medicine, 10(11), 3049-3058. doi:10.1111/jsm.12284

·  Kranz, G. S., et al. (2015). High-dose testosterone treatment increases serotonin transporter binding in transgender people. Biological Psychiatry, 78(8), 525-533. doi:10.1016/j.biopsych.2015.01.023

·  Mueller, A., et al. (2010). Body composition and bone mineral density in male-to-female transsexuals during cross-sex hormone therapy using gonadotrophin-releasing hormone agonist. Experimental and Clinical Endocrinology & Diabetes, 118(5), 317-320. doi:10.1055/s-0029-1243631

·  Leinung, M. C., et al. (2013). Endocrine treatment of transsexual persons: Extensive personal experience. Endocrine Practice, 19(4), 644-650. doi:10.4158/EP12155.OR

[o5-10]

({I have decided I will post this. I ask that this remain out of game knowledge, for the most part, Ten's misunderstanding is so important to me. Note that this is incredibly long.

This is a good summary of it in images though:

This is it reacting to more or less the same thing at each stage of the poisoning.

Also note that its clothes get both more disheveled and less intricate over time.

Rundown of the Chaos Insurgency's assassination attempt against O5-10 "Janus" in the latter quarter of 2018:

Motive was a combination of injured feelings because Ten posted a Fail Comp as well as taking Ten claiming (on the old blog) that someone could not harm it physically, mentally, or emotionally as a challenge.

006 and security measures made physical attack unrealistic to meaningfully achieve, which left psychological means.

Note that while the Insurgency was planning, they only had what Ten said publicly and the rumors about it that their spies heard to go off of, meaning the plan of attack had to be very broad-strokes as well as fairly gradual to avoid immediate detection. It was set to take multiple doses over multiple weeks.

These started off fairly simple, throwing the brain into disarray by causing it to overproduce and/or underproduce neurochemicals, and progressing to more complex effects that would effect any given recipient differently as each cog was added. Madhavan did not know what it would do to Ten, just that by the final dose, it would be either unable to maintain upkeep of its body, be psychologically incapable of consistently maintaining its duties, or become so complacent that it'd be liable to get swayed by "helpful advice". They were, in part, relying on the known perfectionism and isolation to enable this to go on undetected. They did, eventually, try to start pushing the slow breakdown further with information picked up from the blog.

Liu spent some time building rapport with Nina, bonding over commonalities. After a while, he started mentioning a worker named Hazmi (Manchurian agent), and his concerns. Eventually, she was asked to help, and given reasons she needed to be present, resulting in her kidnapping and subsequent slapdash brainwashing into a short-term Manchurian agent, handed the cognitohazardous paperwork under the pretenses that they were from O5-6 directly and were classified between him and Ten.

Now, the way this ended playing out was first Ten started getting more and more agitated and quick to snap on even those they were usually okay being around and there was an uptick in nightmares, leading to more sleep deprivation.

Over time, the sleep deprivation lead to passing out, an inability to focus their vision, and physical effects. This progressed to their hands shaking, being unable to read expressions accurately (registering smiles as neutral, neutral as angry, etc.). This notably lead to an instance of passing out and causing a nosebleed, which freaked it out very badly and contributed to the resultant Cotard's delusion, which has stuck, however inconsistently.

The sleep deprivation and their predispositions lead to them eventually struggling to stick to personal projects and forgetting them as well as an uptick in paranoia and the assumption they had messed up, this got to the point that they believed they may be executed for so much as thinking about the fact that Gino existed. They also began to get decision paralysis more often. Their ability to reason was greatly impacted, especially in matters regarding fear-related emotions.

There came a point where it started psychologically regressing, acting more in line with what they were like when freshly promoted, more overtly optimistic and showing a high degree of respect in more conventional ways.

The sleep deprivation eventually hit the point that it could not support its own weight anymore. When it got, but did not put its eyes on, the final dose, the sleep deprivation had gotten so bad that it had a seizure, much to Six's dismay. After this point, Ten faked its death to keep the Insurgency complacent while things got sorted out on their end.

Note that we didn't have planned who'd intervene initially, and I had contingencies just in case. Regardless, by late October, it had gotten to the point that multiple entities who know it, notable Four and O5verthinking, had started trying to get a feel for how far gone it had become.

Through all of this, Ten worsened their own situation by a staunch refusal to even consider taking a break, sometimes at points leaning on their work as salvation from the problems they were experiencing. The various mood changes, from agitation to regression, were not consistently present at all. Unchecked, they would have absolutely literally worked themself to death at this point.

Now, Ten noticed the regressions, and so did others, but what it thought they were was some alternate self that had been implanted, and it demanded to know more from Madhavan, who used this as a chance to get information on the effects, saying that these things (implanted personalities) are highly variable and not meant to be disgusting, necessarily. Ten still thinks this is very likely what happened, as it lacks evidence to the contrary. It's also had to change a lot in the aftermath, due to the influence of those around it.

Notable, in DJ's case, the motive is something else, but I've not figured out what, and the progression did not get anywhere near as far as it did with Ten, though the paranoia was very present. It didn't hit the same levels of regression, but that's a lot of where it's reflexive referring to its current colleagues as "sir" comes from (though it was only seen to do this with Heretic). Much to consider.})