#both from me and from nace

[seeinganewlight]

i can help you carry it

+ bonus gif

[booklove22]

I’m making it my personal headcanon that Ace cut his hair to “freshen up” in preparation for breaking the curse and being Nancy’s official boyfriend.

[bookdork1]

nothing like waking up to find two videos about two of my most favorite ships from two of my favorite editors

[jokeroutsubs]

Joker Out Subs: Translating a Band

One of our Slovene members, Breda Hribernik (IG fabriconmyhead), wrote an article about JokerOutSubs in the students' magazine ENgLIST.

From our organisation and translation process to translation choices, Breda explained about JokerOutSubs from a linguistic perspective.

Thank you Breda, we're very proud to have you on our team! ❤️

Article below the cut 👇

Picture this: London, early April 2024. Day four of my solo journey to England. After queuing for several hours (something that would never happen in Slovenia), me and a few of the friends I met just a few hours ago finally made it into the venue: Shepherd’s Bush Empire, built in 1903 as a music hall. The high ceiling and intricate wall decor closely reminded me of the Slovenian National Theatre Drama in Ljubljana, which got us all even more excited for the concert. And after the two opening acts, the main performers finally

made it onto the stage.

There are events in life you expect to happen as if they were a part of a ‘Lifetime Bingo’. Scraping your knee as a child. Having a best friend. Going to college. But I never thought I would ever be attending a concert in London where a crowd of 2,000 would be loudly singing along to songs in my native language, Slovene. And yet that was exactly what I experienced during my Joker Out concert in London.

The band, consisting of Bojan Cvjetićanin, Jan Peteh, Jure Maček, Kris Guštin and Nace Jordan, gained international stardom during and after their Eurovision days. At the time of writing this article, the band had completed two successful tours in Europe, with a busy festival schedule awaiting them throughout the summer. This kind of global recognition is rather unexpected for a Slovene band. However, because most of the band's content is in Slovene, especially their older works, the language barrier can present a problem for foreign fans. This is where JokerOutSubs comes in.

1. General

Joker Out Subs (hereon JOS) is a fan-organised translation group. While translating celebrity content is nothing new, it mostly consists of individuals who translate short clips and post them online. Such translations have, in the past, been seen with K-pop musicians. JOS, on the other hand, is a group consisting of several members from all around the globe, me included. Alongside speaking Slovene, our members also speak languages ranging from Finnish to Japanese. The fan-translation group has one main goal: translating content.

The group was founded in May 2023, after we discovered a desire for translated content. Since then, the group whose main goal is translating different content in connection with the band has only grown and expanded. While a great deal of work is still done by speakers of Slovene, JOS would not be as successful without its other members. Social media managers, makers of closed captions, and editors are just a few people who really bring our translations to life.

2. Translation Process

Our translations have a large audience and, in some cases, they are even used by Slovene language teachers around Europe. We make sure to hold them up to a high standard: they are checked multiple times. Alongside our work being grammatically correct, we also want to ensure that the language remains neutral, in order not to implicate anything which does not occur in the original.

Communication-wise, we have a Discord server with many separate channels (for the various languages) and threads. We use Google Spreadsheets specifically for our translations, as using columns is a manageable approach. Column one contains the original text, column two has the translation. The following columns are reserved for comments.

Our translations are not always as simple as translating a written text. A great deal of the content we translate are either videos, radio interviews or podcasts. With those, creating a transcript is the first step. For videos, we also have to create closed captions with timings. Both of these processes are rather tedious, but the end result is a text ready for translation.

Once the first translation is finished, it is checked by a fellow member. For translations from Slovene, this will be a fellow Native Slovene speaker. The reviewer will correct the spelling, punctuation, and grammar of the translation in the form of comments, which the original translator can then approve or dismiss.

Still, the translation is not done yet. Our Native English speakers conduct the final correction of the text. This is mostly to find mistakes that have previously been missed, but English speakers also reshape the piece to make it sound as authentic as possible. The original translator again has a say in these corrections. Finally, our social media team publishes the piece.

Original translation

Check by Slovene speaker

Check by original translator

Check by native English speaker

Check by original translator

3. Translation Problems

As most of us can remember from our classes, translation is rarely done without a hitch. But when one is translating the work of five men in their twenties with diverse linguistic backgrounds (two members of the band grew up in bilingual environments), the work becomes even more difficult. And when these men use slang in their speech, the skills acquired in one’s university translation classes are almost useless.

One such example is an interview with the radio station Val 202, in which the lead singer Bojan Cvjetićanin talks about one of their departed band-members, Martin Jurkovič (who left the band in autumn of 2022 in order to pursue his studies). Bojan wanted to express that Martin was very successful in his field and therefore used the phrase ‘trga gate’ which does not have an equivalent in English. ‘Ripping underwear’ does not exactly mean ‘to be successful’ in English. As we wished to retain some of the vulgarity of the original, we translated the phrase as ‘kicking ass’.

“…. še je njemu v njegovih osebnih sferah odprlo v najboljši možni smeri, in tako kot rečemo mi, trga gate.”¹

… his personal spheres have taken off in the best possible way, and he is, as we say, kicking ass.

¹Joker Out between dreams and reality (Val 202: Music 202) - Part 1: Bojan and Jan

Alongside slang, dialects can also pose a challenge. As a promotion for their concert in Maribor, the band members organised a giveaway for two tickets. All the participants had to do was write down one of their favourite words from the Styrian dialect, before the band members shared their own. Jure Maček, the drummer of the band, said that his favourite word was ‘Štbljc’, which means ‘bedroom’. It would be nearly impossible to translate the word into English and somehow retain its Styrian colouring. In this case, we retained the original in the captions of the video and added a note with its meaning in English elsewhere. These culture-specific notes need to be done often.

“Štjblc je po moje blj.”²

‘Štjblc’* is better.

*bedroom

²[ENG SUB] 🇸🇮DanSlovenščine🇸🇮 A1 vajb: Joker Out share their favourite Styrian word!

Occasionally, Ljubljanščina, or the dialect spoken in Ljubljana, can also cause problems. In a video for A1 VAJB, Kris Guštin (one the guitarists) mentioned that his dream date would include the castle in Ljubljana, which is the city he grew up in. After listing the location, he said: “pa gasa.” Most of the JOS members understood ‘gasa’ as a narrow street, but it was clearly not used in this context here. After some consultation, we translated it as follows:

“Ljubljanski grad pa gasa.”³

Ljubljana Castle and away we go.

³[ENG SUB] What is your dream date? for A1 vajb

Slang and dialects are not the only elements causing us trouble, as the band members also tend to make up words on the spot. One such word, which luckily uses English word formation, has become quite a staple in the fandom. During the vlog of their first tour in the United Kingdom, the guitarist, Jan Peteh, coined the term ‘sparklative’. In addition, he coined the term ‘capybaster’ (capybara + capodaster) in another vlog. However, the most prolific when it comes to creating new terms and phrases is certainly the lead singer. In an Instagram Live back in February 2023 (translation yet to be published), the band was discussing whether they would prefer to be a mushroom or pregnant. Bojan responded that he would like to be “nosrečen’ (noseč + srečen). On a quest comparable to those of the people who had to translate the Harry Potter book series into Slovene, we had to coin a term which would sufficiently embody this neologism. With the help of a native English speaker, we coined the term ‘pregstatic’.

“Kar zabaven bi bil. V bistvu ej ej... v bistvu bi bil nosrečen.”⁴

It would be quite fun. I'd be basically, hey, hey... I'd basically be pregstatic.

⁴Joker Out Instagram Live (February 2023)

4. Original Content

As JOS expands, our work reaches beyond the realms of translation. We now also publish original content, such as our own podcast. Some episodes are readings of longer articles by our Native English speakers. We also have two episodes aptly called ‘Queue and A’ where a member of our team interviewed some fans while queueing for the concerts in Amsterdam (December 2023) and in London (April 2024).

Besides interviewing fans we have also managed to interview the band themselves on four occasions. Our first interview was filmed in Tampere, Finland in September of last year. Then an interview in Poznań, Poland was conducted in November 2023. In 2024 we have so far had two interviews (as of writing this article⁵): an hour-long deep-dive interview in London, UK and a shorter interview, discussing Italian culture in Padova, Italy. The interviews were conducted in English and subsequently translated into Slovene.

Moving forward, the goal of JOS is to keep on doing what we do best, which is to translate. We also hope to create more original content and continue to spread positivity in the fandom. To finish off with the words of the lead singer Bojan Cvjetićanin, “JokerOutSubs, no one translates it better.”��

⁵Between the time of originally writing this article and it being published, we managed to conduct another interview. This was our first interview with only one band member, Nace Jordan, and it was done in Slovene. Fret not, you can watch it with subtitles in 15 different languages.

[j-restlessgeek]

Oh cat jure drawn by my friend @smimon my beloved, just look at him 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

Look at them, look at him !!!!!!!, i loooooooooove his ears and tail 😭😭😭😭😭😭💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛����💛💛💛💛💛😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻. I looooooooooooooove how you draw him 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛.

Here are links to the pieces to check them out👇👇👇👇

Giant K live stream aka Bojan's story :3

First cat and human jure drawing:

Kiss kiss kitty (valentines day with giant k):

Cat jure does what he wants (v-day giant k):

The sourffering:

Here i would link have a good day jure: if i had a link!!!!! But i can't find that post anymore, tumblr at its finest 😩😩😩. Edit: thanks to @smimon it has been found 🥹🥹🥹🥹

Anyways check my friend out :3333, there is so much more art :333333

[wild-joker-out-pleasures]

🎀 Skirts for Joker Out 🎀

The recent posts about skirts made me decide to create this. Why not let ALL FIVE BOYS join in on the fun and joys of wearing a skirt? Feel the breeze? The freedom? Equal opportunity is never a bad thing after all, isn’t it? 🤭

Thus, I have taken it upon myself to choose fitting skirt styles for each of the lads, based on what I think would suit each of them! 🎀

Bojan Cvjetićanin 💓

Very out there, very flirty and attention-grabbing miniskirts with standout details and more than a few dashes of coquette. Chiffon, fringe, sequins, little bows. His fearlessness and outgoing personality would really shine, and the short lengths ensure that this short king would look as tall as possible. 🤭 Swishy and twirly silhouettes also allow him to shake those hips and twerk.

Kris Guštin 🤍

That ass certainly doesn’t lie. Kris could rock long and short skirts alike, and with those long legs. Soft, delicate fabrics that drape beautifully complement his Greek god-like beauty. A sheer long skirt with a slit would suit him particularly well. He is well-suited to both pretty princess styles with dainty details and cute bows, and high-fashion runway-esque silhouettes that hug that peach of his and would make every jaw in the room drop.

Jan Peteh 🖤

Dark and intense Jan is a natural fit for equally dark, edgy and alternative skirt styles. Black leather, dark lace and mesh, as well as some bondage and lingerie elements such as buckles, straps and hardware, complement his black cat nature and his natural sensual energy. Of course, one cannot leave out the classic red and black plaid kilt-style miniskirt a la Vivienne Westwood, a staple in alternative fashion that just screams Jan.

If any of you know the manga and anime "Nana"...Jan is 100% Nana Osaki coded, both in appearance and personality.

Jure Maček 🩵

Sunny and chaotic Jure is all about showing skin, and a natural fit for Y2K sensibilities, the shorter the better. Playful, youthful denim and summery mini lengths are particularly good styles for him, rips and distressed details optional. When he's feeling especially fancy, a bold feather mini is a particularly good fit, in its unconventional and unexpected chaos...that Jure would absolutely pull off. 😆

Nace Jordan 💜

Nace is the epitome of a lovely fall day. He suits so many autumn-inspired styles in earthy tones of brown, orange, warm purple and muted green, touched with varying degrees of coziness, and both soft and tough details. Naturally, that extends to skirts. From fairy grunge maxi skirts, to "sexy nerd" dark academia style, to army green minis (he has nice thighs, of course I wouldn't deny anyone those thighs)...he can carry them all beautifully!

Thank you for your time, and LONG LIVE SKIRTS! 🖤

[madrabit]

Okay now I’m thinking about bojance again so have this :3

🩷

Imagine they’re all having a lazy afternoon together at their apartment, nothing to do and nowhere to be for once in a very long time, and Jan finds himself sitting in the armchair they have in the living room.

He’s reading a book with headphones on as he listens to some new music, something he hasn’t had time to do in what feels like an eternity, and he allows himself to relax and get lost in the pages of his book.

He doesn’t realize just how involved he has been in the story until Igor comes over to nudge his legs, asking for attention. It is with a fond roll of his eyes that Jan sets his book aside, leaving room for his beloved cat to settle comfortably on his lap – which he does, immediately pushing his little head against Jan’s hand with a content purr when it comes down to pet him between his ears.

The soft smile painting Jan’s face becomes even softer with the sight that greets him once he looks up: Nace is lying on his back on the couch, Bojan pressed against his side with his head pillowed on his shoulder, and little Pino curled up into a ball on Nace’s chest, the steady rise and fall of both their breaths causing Bojan’s hand, which is resting on the dog’s tiny back, to move with them.

They’re all fast asleep, judging by the light snoring coming from all of them – yes, both his boyfriends and the puppy – and Jan feels his heart melt inside his chest.

All for being a cat person, Jan thinks as he feels Igor cuddle up a little closer to him.

He takes out his phone and snaps a few pictures, quickly sending them to their group chat. He ponders for a moment before giving in and setting one of them as his phone’s wallpaper.

A few seconds of staring fondly at the screen later, Igor lets out a little protest that makes Jan chuckle, but he still puts his phone down and starts petting him again.

“How did we manage to score not one, but three puppies, huh?” Jan asks, his voice barely above a whisper so as not to disturb anyone’s sleep.

Igor meows softly.

Uhmm, yeah, he thinks, and, with a smile still on his face, he lets his eyes fall closed too and his mind be pulled into the land of dreams.

In that quiet moment, he knows that when he wakes up, he will be exactly where he wants to be, exactly where he belongs – surrounded by the people he loves most in the world, with their pets, in the apartment they’ve made their home; a place rich with memories, laughter, and love.

Oh god, this is everything 😭😭😭😭

Jan just so fond of his puppies and you just KNOW Bojan and Nace would fall asleep cuddling with Pino 🥺🥺🩷🩷🩷

Them being domestic with each other is one of my favourite things ever, and it's so sweet 😭 jan setting the three of them as a wallpaper just makes me absolutely melt 🥹🥹🥺😭😭😭

Thank you for sharing that, you get a big big kiss on the forehead and a biggest hug ever 😭🩷

[anxious-witch]

So, Jan and Nace photoshoot analysis. This will definitely be long, and idk how coherent I will be. As always this is entirely subjective, this time maybe more than ever. I am up for friendly discussions and disagreements, but also after today if you are a dick, I will block you.

Anyway.

So let's go pictures by pictures first and then observe how they interact. We start off with the top one, that almost seems like it was two individual shots first, but go glued together. To focus on Nace first, he is looking directly into the camera, his face completely visible, but his hair and body is in the shadow. His leather jacket is even covering his neck. He is in "full armor", except for his face. His face having a layer of combativness only add to that imagery.

Now to focus on Jan. I'd say he is in a similar state, his stare perhaps even more defiant, as if daring us to judge. His face is half covered by his hair, which makes sm sense in a way that we know Jan is a quite private person. He doesn't want people to full see him behind a curtain. Some things are private and he doesn't want to show us everything.

I also find it interesting that these pictures have less contrast than the ones we go later, as if there is additional layer of gray over them. Like they weren't sure it was just yet time to full pull the curtain away from their intimate moments, making them softer and more blurry. As someone else pointed out, it's giving a vibe of them being in the shower, the hot stream muddyijg up the pictures.

Then, right below it, we have Jan and Nace doing an Inuit kiss, their noses touching. And my god, I am so insane about this complete shift in perspective. They aren't looking into the camera, but at each other, with an almost painfully soft expressions.

What struck me as really interesting is that with Kris and Bojan's shoots, they were the most honest and open in the pictures where they look into the camera. Here, it's the opposite. In moments where they are focused on each other, you get the feeling they aren't even aware they are being observed. Looking into the camera, to the viewers seems uncomfortable.

Then, we have this set. Top one resembles first one from the set, except for few significant changes. It's clearly one photo, not two separate ones glued together. Jan is closer to Nace, as if he moved close to protect him. Also another thing that I find interesting, although I am not sure of it was purposeful or simply a trick of the light but! In all pictures where they are together, it looks like they both have just a bit of smudged eyeliner. And I will even go as far to speculate it might be on purpse as if to imply their facade is getting smudged. They can't hold it in place anymore.

In picture two(my favorite, my beloved). We get them favung each other once again, and this time, Nace is openly laughing and Jan is smiling and looking at him with what I will dare say is the closest to adoration.

Jan's eyes are open and more visible, unlike from the first shot, where they were mostly covered by his hair. Almost as if seeing Nace in a happy and relaxed state made him show off a bit more of himself.

Last picture in this set has Jan looking at the camera, his hand clasped over Nace's mouth and Nace has his eyes half close, blind to the viewer, only focused on Jan.

And, okay. This is where my interpretation loses any pretense of objectivity, but I simply can't see this any other way. I read this as Nace being blind to them being watched so constantly and perhaps saying something that should-by Jan's standards-stay private. He is, unlike Nace, looking directly to us, and looks caugh, out of breath.

There is also that aspect of protectivness too-if he can stop Nace from revealing something us as views are not meant to hear, perhaps he can protect him from it.

Now, to focus on their separate pictures. Or well, mostly separate. Let's go with Nace's first.

To start with the top picture, Nace looks both tired and defiant here, staring directly at the camera. His arms are crossed over his chest and he is gripping his shirt very tightly, pulling it away from his arms and towards his chest.

Again, throwing objectivity out of the window because I simply cannot be bothered today, but. This reads to me sm like he is showing off his tattoos and hiding chest? As if he wishes to be judged by art he choose for himself. It could also tie into the fact that due to some body issues, his arms are truly something he likes to shows off in comparison to the rest of his body.

Second picture on the left is connected. Once again, he is not looking at the viewer, unaware he is being observed and thus, showing how under the facade of intensity and defiance, the pressure is getting to him.

Third picture is SO INTENSE. Nace is gagged by some sort of fabric and the shadow/makeup around his eyes is the most intense. He looks the most brooding and his features look almost twisted. Like he is being silenced and put in the shape he doesn't want to be in.

Then, we get this. What a transformation. The pure softness, the trust in Nace's eyes here. It's literally giving the intimacy of sharing an intimate moment with a lover to me, especially with the way these are positioned. Like Nace is laying down and softly looking up and then almost bashfully lowering his gaze. I am genuinely unwell with how intimate this looks.

Now, THIS. We have Jan, staring at the camera, pulling Nace closer to himself. Nace is standing with his back to us.

This picture once again shows to me of how protective Jan feels over Nace. This is giving such "Don't you dare touch him" vibes, it's insane. Jan's hair is messy and untaimed, and still half hiding his face and yet, he is not turning away. Because turning away would mean leaving Nace vulnerable so instead he faces the camera head on while providing a safe space for Nace.

And at last, two solo photos of Jan. First one has Jan showing off his painted nails, which we don't see in any of the other pictures. His face is half covered in both pictures, first with the hand and hair and the other with the hair only.

In the first picture, he is still looking at us, almost as if saying, "Are you watching? Do you see what I am showing?" While in the other one, he is looking at something away from the camera, in an almost resigned way. He is tired of the preformance, of being on guard. He is just letting hinself be observed.

Another thing that was pointed out to me was white frame for Nace vs black frame for Jan. And not to go totally off the rails at that, but-Nace providing a light to Jan, a hope of brightness and warmth, which Jan provides the comfort of dark, safe place for Nace is just bfjxnxkdjx.

Alll in all, I absolutely adored these and I am half asleep so I probably forgot half the stuff I wanted to say so please feel free to add on your thoughts.

[drizzleoftherain]

Liturgia

Chapter 1: La Corriente Que Nace De Esta Fuente

Pairing: Ava Silva & Beatrice

Ao3

Author's note: This story wouldn’t let me live my life so I guess it had to be done. There’s a playlist and a mood-board. I’m tired now and will sleep.

Beatrice would swear upon her death bed that meeting Ava that day was not in any way shape or form a monumental deviation in her life plans.

Had this moment in time been a carefully calculated move? No. This had been simple dumb luck and it horrified her. One moment they were being ignored at dingy small gigs and suddenly they were performing at Lollapalooza. Beatrice couldn’t even begin to understand what 110,000 people looked like. Much less hearing them sing back their music, the songs that she had carefully written and slaved over for years. And here they were, expected to just pretend like that was normal. Like it was just a regular day. She was sure she needed therapy. And a new manager. Definitely a new manager. Lilith needed a haircut. Did they all need haircuts? 

Her mind spiraled. 

All in good time. 

The green room was stuffy and the air felt heavy with anxiety and pre-show jitters that shouldn’t still be happening or at least this intensely. Thoughts went back to that crowd and fear started to bubble again. She looked to her fellow bandmates, each going through their routines, and her lips curved with a small smile that she hoped would calm their nerves. 

They were set to appear as one of two musical guests, not something she recalls happening often, but unavoidable given a last minute scheduling conflict and countless apologies from The Graham Norton Show production team.

They were The Cruciforms, England’s biggest rock band since The Beatles, or she would tell her grandmother that if ever asked. Silly little hobby and all. Their EP had sold inexplicably well, well enough that eyes were on them, many eyes and they had been ill prepared. The amount of attention in itself was difficult to explain, it was as if overnight everything had fallen into place, but not. The music industry was messy, confusing and borderline psychotic. 

“Do you think she’ll be nice?” Camila’s voice cut through her thoughts.

“Who?” 

A unanimous groan stretched throughout the cramped room. 

Right. 

Ava. 

The other musical guest. 

“Do you think we’ll ever get a chance to print our vinyls at the rate she’s going?” Lilith spoke up, hair in her face. She definitely needed thera— wait no she needed a haircut, but also therapy. 

Mary rubbed her forehead knowing full well where the topic was heading. “Don’t start, you’ll just get Beatrice going on a rant again.”

“I don’t know how much longer I can put up with musical statistics and artistic integrity.” Lilith stood from the couch and walked to the heavily lit mirror in an attempt to tame her unruly hair.

Beatrice scoffed, feeling slightly validated by Lilith’s comment. “I mean honestly out of everyone that could have possibly come today and overshadow us it had to be her. Does she even have to do this anymore?”

“Careful, your inner brat is showing.”

“When you’re in the party bum-bum-bumping’ that beat!” Camila sprung up, triggered. 

“Oh God no.”

“That sewer sluts a vibe! 

Internationally recognised!

 I set the tone, it’s my design and it’s stuck in your—”

Beatrice moved as fast as she could. One squeal later and Camila was restrained. She stared up, breathing through her nose as Beatrice’s hands held her mouth shut. The couch underneath them protested with the sudden movement.

“It has been a great year for pop music. I've gone back several months and can safely say we’re finally out of the dark ages that were the early 2010’s.” Yasmine, who had been rather occupied with her phone, spoke up. She was nose deep tracking charts or plotting to take them down. One or the other. Or both. “It’s not all Ava’s fault. Though her tactics are a bit questionable and borderline exploitative.”

“See! Yasmine agrees. She has over-capitalised music and for what. Is it any good? Probably not, just some over-produced crap that will sound dated—aaaaahhh!” Camila bit her. Actually bit her. “You bit me!”

Camila had managed to squeeze her way out of Beatrice’s grasp. “How dare you speak about our lord and saviour like this.”

“She’s clearly only popular because of all the features she has managed to grab.” Beatrice continued her tirade, rubbing her hand in soothing patterns. “That and the radio won’t stop playing her.”

Mary stared at Beatrice, patience clearly gone. “Okay, you’re starting to sound like a Reddit basement dweller. I have heard her albums, they’re great, she’s talented.” Her eyes bore into hers like an older sibling would to a misbehaving little sister. “Is it my cup of tea? No. I don’t drink tea, but I can at least admit she works hard.”

“You said you wouldn’t.” Beatrice wasn’t petulant, but they had agreed not to listen to the top 100, which meant Ava was off limits. Or at least she thought they had all agreed. Clearly Camila was a filthy liar and now Mary too. 

“I’m quite partial to Malamente .” 

“No, Lilith, not you too.”

“What about Bagdad ?” Yasmine perked up, suddenly very interested in the conversation being had. “The interpolation of the choir and Justin Timberlake’s ‘ Cry Me A River ’ is brilliant.”

Beatrice sat defeated. The betrayal. They shared meals together.

She was already thinking of ways to make them suffer during practice. They were only listening to greats from now on or so help her God. They can’t squander it, this opportunity only comes once in a lifetime and they were going to focus. She would plan their listening schedule; Bob Dylan, Bowie, good old Simon & Garfunkel, aaaaaaand she was boring herself. Bananarama…what. Too much. 

Knock- knock knock- knock

“It’s probably Vincent.” Lilith had somehow constructed her hair into a braid, who thought she had it her.

“Useless,” Beatrice muttered, putting some distance between herself and the door. She knew whatever news he was bringing was going to age her in seconds. They truly needed a new manager.

It was Camila who stood to answer.

“ Hi ”

Camila slammed the door shut. The Earth spun just a little faster. 

The girls all stared as she stood perfectly still, back to the door in a state of complete panic. “It’s…it’s…” she stuttered, with full blown realisation. 

“Who is it?”

“Vincent?”

“No.”

“Graham?”

“No.”

“Ava?”

Camilla raised her hands to her mouth and nose nodding slowly, “…yes”.

Mary basically pried her bandmate off the door. “Woman, for crying out loud let your fellow countryperson in.”

The door opened and there she was. Hands behind her back, with a smile that could probably make someone trip on a busy city street. And they were all staring.

Thud

Yasmine’s phone hit the floor and all eyes followed the movement as she scrambled to pick it up. All except for Beatrice who had for a second forgotten herself. An indescribable force. Ava was or looked younger than she was expecting. She wore an oversized white t-shirt tucked into her jeans, hair in a messy bun and no makeup to speak of. Beatrice breathed in once and looked down as if struck, but couldn’t resist a second glance. Brown eyes met hers.

Ava moved forward, awkwardly doing a small wave, “Hi guys…what’s up?”

“The ceiling usually, I mean if there is one, sometimes it could be sky, but I guess…that can also depend on the weather because there’s rain and clouds and pollen and…solar wind patterns can disrupt the Earth’s magnetosphere in a phenomenon we refer to as an Aurora.” Oh no, Yasmine.

Mary nodded along only for a second. “Ava, right? I’m Mary.”

“Hello,” She smiled brightly again, outstretching her hand for Mary to shake. 

“I once had a weird dream after listening to ‘ De Aqui No Sales ’.” Beatrice could see Camilla’s mouth moving but could only hope that she had misheard. 

“Oh?” Ava chuckled, her voice turned oddly raspy with mischief. “What was it about?”

“I don’t know. It involved my dead dog Mauricio and buñuelos.”

“¿Buñuelos? Me encantan.”

“Si, a mi igual,” Camila chuckled with so much admiration.

“This is Camila, she apologises for slamming the door on your face,” Mary said gently, who apparently had taken it upon herself to be the only normal person in the room. And without any prompting began to go around introducing everyone. “That’s Yasmine and her now very broken phone.” Yasmine half smiled half winced. “The one with the sour face over there is Lilith.” A quick salute. “And this is Bea-”

Beatrice doesn’t know what possessed her to walk across the room, but she found herself in front of Ava with a tentative hand outstretched, “Beatrice.” And the indescribable force was back, negating her own will as their eyes met again. Brown. Kind. Cute laugh lines by her eyes when she smiles.

“Beatrice.” Ava repeated dumbly. “Ava.”

Lilith rolled her eyes, “Oh, we know.”

—

“Ohh! Oh that is lovely!” Graham Norton’s voice resonated over the boisterous studio audience as he made his entrance. He waved his hands, “Hello everyone, hello! Good evening. You’re all so welcome to the show. It is Friday night and like your overpowering mother-in-law, I’m back! We’ve got a great line up to finish up the week with not just one but two musical guests. If you look over there singing for us later we have The Cruciforms , Europe’s latest obsession.”

The crowd erupted into delighted cheers as the girls waved back. They were now all wearing matching form fitting black suits with paired high waisted pants. Thin ties adorned their white button ups. 

Yasmine sat behind her drums twirling one of her sticks flawlessly in her left hand, Camila on keys, Mary with a funky bass, Lilith and her guitar remained perfectly still and Beatrice smiled from the center, microphone nearby.

“They’ll be performing their latest single ‘ Stuck ’, but first who are we meeting on my sofa tonight!” Graham spoke enthusiastically as he diverted his attention to the entry leading backstage. “Well this actress has decided to return to familiar shores, and is currently starring in the West End revival of Macbeth, put your hands together for Academy Award winner Olivia Coleman!”

All big smiles as the actress emerged waving at the crowd and giving Graham a warm hug. She took a seat clapping along as the host continued.

“Next up you may know him from this year’s box office hit Dune 2 and upcoming Bob Dylan biopic A Complete Unknown , Mr. Timothée Chalamet!” 

Timothée walked through the opening, small moustache and all. He shook Graham's hand before joining Olivia on the sofa.

“And our final guest needs no introduction. She’s our two time Grammy award winning neighbour, back from her record breaking global tour! Ava!”

The cheers somehow got louder as the audience absolutely lost their minds. Ava practically materialised wearing a long sleeved black Schiaparelli ensemble that resembled a matador chaquetilla vest with gold embellishments. Her hair now in long draping curls framed her perfect face. She glowed as the attention consumed her. Graham walked to meet her halfway giving her a big hug before helping her to the sofa. 

The show went through its finely structured style for a bit as Graham took several moments discussing everyone’s upcoming projects and accomplishments. They joked and spoke, Timothée and Ava already familiar with each other and Olivia just entranced by the overall energy that had taken over the studio.

“Right! It’s time for music. This band had a great year, they’ve already been announced as The Brit Rising Star for next year. Here performing their current single ‘ Stuck ’ it’s The Cruciforms!”

The audience cheered. The lights dimmed. Lilith’s opening notes queued them in. Yasmine followed. And suddenly they were all bouncing along as the lights focused and vamped up the atmosphere. Beatrice kicked her black chucks along with the beat of the song and reached for the standing mic. 

We talk…

Talk ‘til we’re blue in face

The words…

The words don’t resonate

Seasons…

They always seem to stay the same

Holding…on to things we said we would change 

Beatrice sang, her voice coming flawlessly through the studio speakers. She glanced at Camila as she sang into the mic joining her for the chorus, keys bouncing up and down under her fingertips.

I’m stuck, babe 

Stuck with nowhere to go

Because, babe

We’re just taking it slow

It’s overdue oh oh uh oh oh

Make your move oh oh uh oh oh

Stuck, babe

Stuck with nowhere to go

Their song came to an end and the audience cheered.

“There we go!” Graham joined “The Cruciforms, everybody!”

They waved, smiles all around.

“Come on over girls! Leave those instruments there and join us on the sofa.” They followed his direction, Lilith and Mary handing over their instruments to nearby staff members. They walked the curve of the stage over to the interview area as the other guests stood to greet them. “That was fantastic, thank you so so much.” 

Beatrice, the ever stoic leader was first shaking hands with Ava, Timothée and Olivia as Graham introduced all the members by name. The girls followed her lead and quickly everyone was acquainted. 

“That is such an ear-worm, truly fantastic job ladies,” Graham took his seat and everyone else followed suit. 

“Thank you very much.” Beatrice hoped her voice wouldn’t crack and betray just how nervous she was. 

“That single is from your EP, and it’s out now and is a thing of beauty,” He continued the praise leaving all the members shy and bewildered. “How do you all feel after the incredible year you’ve had? ‘ Stuck ’ was the biggest British single of the year.”

Beatrice looked around to her band members as she spoke, “I think we’re all just in a state of shock still, to be perfectly honest. We couldn’t have imagined the amount of traction or how much the song resonated with people.”

The guests nodded along basking in the pure happiness each of the girls was giving off. 

Beatrice had just realised just who she sat next to. Ava’s smile was immense as she listened along. “How did it feel listening to the song on the radio for the first time?” She asked, eyes meeting hers.

“I know this is going to sound absurd because surely band members are with each other every second of every day,” Beatrice chuckled, “but we all heard it at different times.” 

“It was surreal!” Camila added and everyone nodded in agreement.

“I think you have this idea or this hope for so long… I’m sorry I’m not used to this. I’m nervous.” Beatrice hesitated while taking a breath, the audience laughed. 

Ava tapped her leg in encouragement, “No one is.”

Beatrice smiled at the encouragement and continued, “when we all finally heard it together we were in a cab on the way to get dumplings and we almost caused our driver to crash.” 

Everyone laughed again delighted. The show continued with more of the same atmosphere and fun banter between Graham and the guests. They spoke about their upcoming European tour and promotional endeavours for the upcoming album. 

When the show was ready to wrap, Ava stood from her spot next to Beatrice and walked towards the stage, where her guitarist and a percussionist with a cajon waited for her. She sat on the chair between them, her demeanour shifted to a more sullen tone appropriate one. 

The lights dimmed and the flamenco guitar began. 

Qué bien sé yo la fuente 

Que mana y corre

Aunque eeeeeees de noche

Aquella eterna fuente está escondida

Qué bien sé yo donde tiene su manida

Aunque eeeeeees de noche

En esta noche oscura de esta vida

Qué bien sé yo por fe la fuente fría

Aunque es de noche

Aunque es de noche

Aunque es de noche

Music, Beatrice found, always had a way of burying itself down to her bones. She didn’t need to speak the language, she understood the emotion perfectly. And Ava, what could she even be nitpicky about, Ava was delivering every line with so much care and love. In that instance she couldn’t help but chastise herself. She had devalued Ava, just as much as any other popular artist. And for what? To seem knowledgeable and alternative?

The song shifted. The tempo increased, but Ava’s falsettos had merged so perfectly that Beatrice would have just assumed it was the same song until it wasn’t. Ava stood, the light now reflecting the change of mood and the room mutated rather intensely. 

Taggea'o tu nombre en la pared, eh

O El Mal Querer en Times Square, ¿o qué?

Driving speed limit DGT, eh

O quemando rue'a sin carnet, ¿o qué?

Vas a lo suave a lo kitty cat, eh

O muerdes si tienes que morder, ¿o qué?

Muerdes si tienes que morder, eh

Muerdes si tienes que morder

Beatrice looked around to her bandmates, all enthralled with what had just occurred. Camila was practically levitating, and she knew she wouldn’t hear the end of this today. Was Olivia Coleman dancing? Mary’s eyes met hers, see , she could hear her.

A palé, a palé, a palé, a palé

A palé, a palé, a palé, a

A palé, a palé, a palé, a palé

A palé, a palé, a palé, a-a-a

Fuck the greats.

—

“What the fuck was that?” Ava winced, as she was all but pushed back against the wall. The show staff were far enough not to hear or see. Her manager stood in front of her. She was still taller than Ava even in heels. “I thought we had agreed, they’re not ready to hear that. It’s not the right time.”

Ava felt small, but the rage had been building inside her for years, eating away at her. She needed this. A change in her sound had been a long time coming and no amount of begging and hoping was going to accomplish it anymore. Keep your eyes up. She reminded herself. 

“The audience enjoyed it, didn’t they?” Ava squared her shoulders. 

A dry laugh. “A decision like this can derail your entire career.” Her manager ran her hands through her wavy hair, “Who encouraged you?”

Ava shook her head baffled. “You think I needed encouragement? If you truly believe that you clearly haven't been paying attention.”

“I need to call Fermin and get this sorted before it gains any traction.”

“Emilia.”

Emilia turned, phone to her ear. “Hell–”

“We’ll call you back.” Ava's eyes were so intense that she was sure she was about to cry and she knew Emilia knew.

Eyes bore into hers, “Let me make something exceedingly clear to you. You are where you are because of all the hours I’ve devoted to making it happen. Not only do you continue to act like a child every chance you get, you also make no effort to hide it.” This time the shove against the wall was physical. “Who do you think contacts the media to hide all your little “mistakes”. Not to mention the rampant alcoholism that everyone ignores and puts up with.” Tears were beginning to well in Ava’s eyes. “Do you think it’s cute what you’re doing? Do you think it’s funny?” Emilia spoke calmly, completely stone-faced.“How fucking dare you?”

Ava couldn’t bear to raise her gaze to meet Emilia’s.

“Let me predict with 100% certainty what’s about to happen after we leave this building.” Emilia lowered her mouth close to Ava’s left ear, “You’re going to sneak out of your hotel room and you’re going to drink until you black out, and I’m going to find you in your bathtub tomorrow morning feeling sorry for yourself. And then we’ll leave this God forsaken country and never speak about this again.”

A noise from down the hall alerted them immediately. Ava could feel Emilia extracting herself. She gave a small glance in the direction of the noise, but couldn't make out what it was. 

Emilia’s eyes were furious as her gaze returned to Ava. “I’ll let the driver know we’re ready to leave.”

Ava watched as her manager made her way down the hall and into one of the green rooms. The same noise resonated across the hall again. She wiped her face as best she could, turning the corner and without realising, smashing straight into something solid.

Beatrice. 

Vest pocket tangled on the handle of the janitor’s closet. She would laugh if the circumstances weren’t pointing to the fact that she was sure the woman had overheard the exchange. And she knows that face. She sees her assistant make that face all too often.

“Why are you coming out of the closet?” Ava was nothing without her humour after all. 

A beat. Beatrice hesitated, Ava could see her eyes frantically searching for the proper response. “Well…you see I was just trying to find the–”

“The?”

Beatrice made an attempt to form words, but gave up several times. She struggled with the handle again, somehow she had managed to make it go further into her pocket.

Ava chuckled. A full on throaty chuckle. “Here. Let me.” Ava placed her hand on her arm and gently twisted the handle enough that it slipped right out. 

The honey brown eyes danced awkwardly from wall to wall before meeting hers. 

There was a breath and Ava began to understand that this was probably something Beatrice did often before speaking. A learned response she knew all too well. “Are you alright?” Beatrice asked, arms coming to her side. 

She waited for Ava’s response. Strange . Most people would have already walked away from what had just happened. Pretending. Always pretending. “Do you know Claridge’s?” She hoped Beatrice wouldn’t push.

“Do I know Claridge’s?” An inflection on the ‘I’.

“Meet me outside at ten.”

“What? Like, tonight?”

“Ten. tonight.”

Ava turned to leave.

“Ten?”

“Tonight.”

—

Beatrice is not in the habit of meeting up with world famous pop stars outside of bougie hotels, but she was in fact a big fan of a mystery and that’s what Ava was. A person like Ava shouldn't exist. The raw emotion and vocal talent she had just witnessed could not have come out of a five foot tall person that looked like that. 

Like what? Like sunshine? 

She physically shook the thought from her head and glanced down at the watch on her wrist. 

10:14 pm

This had to have been a joke. Why would she have ever thought that something like this could happen to someone like her. The doormen knew it. And she knew it. She didn’t belong and they were definitely going to call the Bobbies. She swiped through her phone a couple of times looking for the train schedule. She had time. She could still walk away without being charged for trespassing.

“Hi.” Beatrice was sure she caught some air. “I’m sorry about the wait, I had to do a bit of Mission Impossible–ling,” Ave smiled way too happy about her own joke. 

“I see.”

She looked at Beatrice for a moment, long enough to be noticed, that is, “You look slick.”

And it wasn’t a usual thing for Beatrice to care about her appearance. Her eyes looked down, suddenly vulnerable. She was wearing houndstooth trousers, slip-on-sneakers, a white cotton shirt and a black coat. And then she looked at Ava who was wearing the same outfit from the green room plus an oversized coat and heels, hair still in curls.

“Thanks.”

Ava began to walk.

Beatrice hesitated for a moment but followed after her. “Wait. Where are we going?”

“Looking for some nightlife.” Ava was quick on her feet, comfortable in her heels as they made their way down the cobblestone street. A feat that Beatrice herself has never been able to maneuver that well.

“A nightlife here? In Mayfair?” The only kind of night life in Mayfair was over expensive single-grape wine from wherever the fuck in France. 

As they walked they passed high end shop windows and luxury vehicles parked on the street. There were a healthy amount of people wandering nearby restaurants and bars, which calmed Beatrice’s nerves. After passing The King’s Head, Ava made a right with no signs of slowing down.

“You seem to know where you’re going.”

Ava slowed, taking pity on her. “I come to London a lot, usually to record.”

“That makes sense.”

“Do you like it here?”

“London? I mean, I was raised here, can’t complain.” Beatrice continued, “What about you?”

“Can’t say I stick around long enough to form an opinion.”

“I can show you around if you’d like sometime.”

Ava giggled, but didn’t look at Beatrice. “Maybe next time I’m in town.”

Beatrice wasn’t sure what it was about Ava that caused her to lose all sense of self. If it were any other Friday night she would be in her flat reading or listening to her latest record find. Only leaving if her bandmates had plans together or to have dinners with her parents. Was it because of who she was? No. Beatrice had already met her fair share of celebrities so this wasn’t that. Plus, she was never one to be around people like Ava. People that shined easily.

They stopped in front of white steps. She looked up at a simple black door with the number 46.

“Are we visiting someone?”

Ava didn’t answer, choosing to climb instead.“When we go in, don't accept anything from anyone. Don’t wander far from me and definitely do not speak to the staff more than required. They will know.”

“Sorry?” Ava knocked and after a few seconds the door was opened by a man in a tailored suit with an earpiece.

“Ms. Silva, good evening.”

“Good evening.” Ava grabbed her hand leading her inside.

 Past the entryway was a long hallway and a set of heavy doors. What the fuck was happening? 

“Good evening Ms. Silva, coats?”

Ava removed her coat, handing it over to a staff member behind the counter, then began to help Beatrice out of hers. 

“Thank you. Enjoy your evening ladies.”

Her hand was grabbed again as they passed through the solid doors. 

The building seemed to suddenly expand, the lights were dimmed and cigar smoke floated up towards strategically placed vents. Several men and women sat around chairs she was sure would cost more than her university education. The brown oak coffee tables held various drinks and if she looked close enough she could see old water marks left behind from years of use. As they made their way down the room she made out rows and rows of people chatting to one another or laughing. The music was jazzy and at a level where easy conversation could be had.

Ava didn’t pay much attention to their surroundings and was headed for the stairs. Her hand felt suddenly very clammy with uncertainty. And as they neared the steps she felt the bass of the music increase. 

Beatrice knew better than to get herself into a situation like this, so, why had a woman she had only met a few hours prior been so powerful. She was almost sure this was turning out to be some weird Ready or Not shit, where rich people kill for sport. And the funny thing was she knew this was how she went. All those years of repression and putting music first, all too be undone by a pretty girl with red lips. Her bandmates were going to kill her for this–well, she’d be dead, but they would definitely come to the wake and roast her.

They took two steps at a time and emerged into what was obviously a club. The lights bounced with the beat of the music as the people inside danced along, not acknowledging anything but the vibe and themselves. The bar stretched across the entire length of the left wall and several tables stood snuggly to the right, both hugging the dance floor. 

Ava walked straight to the bar, finally releasing her hand. Beatrice couldn’t see much apart from the pulsating lights hitting the walls due to how dark it was.

“What will you have?” Ava got close enough to speak into her ear.

“Huh? Sorry I was looking at the architecture.” 

Ava gave her a fond look then turned her attention to the bartender. “We’ll start with shots.”

“Oh, I don’t–I’m not—”

“Just try it. It’s a no pressure shot.”

Beatrice looked from the glass and to Ava. This was not a good idea.

By the time Beatrice had mustered a semblance of courage to even hold the shot Ava was already on her fourth. She watched her expectantly and the indescribable force was back. The liquor went down hard. She could feel it burning all the way down. 

“That was vile!”

“I bet!”

Ava looked at the crowd. The energy was feeding into her. “Dance?”

Beatrice wavered considering her options. “You go ahead. I’ll catch up.” She was hoping Ava wouldn’t question it. And when she didn’t Beatrice sent a small prayer to anyone who was listening. She watched as Ava made her way through the crowd needing no time to synchronise to everyone else.

“Anything else?” The bartender asked impatiently.

“Water, please.”

This was going to be a long night.

She had somehow made it through to Ava, who was now flushed red and perspiring, though it was not something that looked bad on her. She smiled the moment she spotted Beatrice and rushed to put her hands on her hips.

Oh, your gravity, your gravity

Your gravity, I will follow you

Oh, your gravity, your gravity

Your gravity, I will follow you

The bodies next to them bounced and swayed matching the rhythm. 

Head in the stars, I see you everywhere

I could never get away, get away (away)

In a hold, just take me anywhere

And I believe in what you say

—

Beatrice adjusted the body on her back again.

Yup, this had been a terrible idea.

She had only made it down two streets and her ankles were not complying. Ava was essentially dead weight at this point and she could feel a cool kind of liquid on the shoulder where her head rested. 

It was now 3 AM and she was having some major regrets. 

Beatrice wasn’t sure how much alcohol Ava had consumed, she had lost track at some point. She had begged her to have some water, peanuts, anything, but Ava had been hard headed and knew exactly what she was doing.

She bounced her butt up, catching Ava’s thighs again. At least it didn’t look out of place. Plenty of people had stumbled out and they had left a straggler a street behind who kept insisting he was Harry Styles.

Thank God for her sneakers or else this would have looked more like she was pulling a dead body. Oh fuck. Did it look like she was carrying a dead body? Her pace increased out of pure fear. This literally could not be happening right now. She was done for. Ava’s fans would kill her. They wouldn’t even question her. They would tear her apart limb from limb in some sadistic medieval torture session while chanting along to one of their idol’s songs.

She had by some miraculous stroke of luck made it back to Claridge’s. The two doormen from earlier watched her struggle the last few meters to the door.

“Hello there!” She sounded way too excited. 

“Evening,” one of the doormen greeted her unenthusiastically.

“Yes, hi. She–she’s a guest at this hotel and as you can–” she adjusted their bodies. The men looked between them, but showed no signs of letting her through. “As you can see, she is very much asleep.”

“What name is the room booked under?”

“Silva? Ava Silva?”

“There’s no such guest staying with us.”

Of course.

She readjusted Ava again. Hoping for some kind of pity. 

Ava’s hand appeared in front of her face holding a room key. “Oh! Well, there we go then. Excuse us.”

The door was held open long enough for Beatrice to slip inside. 

“You are…weird–weirdly strong,” Ava said a little slurred. 

Beatrice’s sneakers squeaked on the checkered marble flooring. The grand entryway was entirely too opulent for the amount of pain currently coursing through every inch of her body.

 She needed a lift. 

The night attendants watched them closely.

 She heard the distinctive ding and rushed to make it, but the doors closed.

She lowered her face to the console and pressed the up button with her nose. This had to be a new low even for her, which is saying a lot because she NEVER does anything like this. The most she would admit to is staying up all night during record store day and camping outside the vinyl store for hours. It took a few seconds and the other set of doors opened. She slipped inside taking a moment to balance Ava and herself against a wall.

There was a beep and the lift began to rise. 

“Did you just?”

Ava nodded against her shoulder.

When they arrived at the correct floor Beatrice mustered all the strength she had left. She readjusted Ava and in one smooth motion used the wall to push them forward.

“Room?!”

“The–the door on the left,” Ava pointed down the hall.

Her legs were shaking. She needed to run into that room. The door clicked open and she rushed in quickly finding the bed and throwing Ava on it, who bounced a couple of times giggling as if Beatrice hadn’t just carried her for what felt like kilometers. There was definitely going to be murder tonight, and she would accept her fate at the hands of her fanbase.

“How could you be laughing!” Beatrice began, eyebrows cast down, anger suddenly blooming after tonight's events. “How could you just let yourself drink to the point of passing out? What if I hadn’t been there? How would you have gotten back here? Do I need to take you to the hospital? Do you need your stomach pumped?!” Beatrice took a breath. Her face was hot and she was sure, no, she knew, she had pulled one of her calf muscles. 

Ava was sitting upright watching her closely, her face was red, small strands of hair stuck to her forehead. Suddenly, Ava stood with yet another impressive display of heel sportsmanship, discarding her coat in one go and running to the bathroom.

She managed to make it to the toilet before retching and vomiting into it.

“Oh my God–are you okay?” Beatrice wobbled her way into the bathroom. Ava nodded weakly, giving her a thumbs up.“Here, let me pull your hair back.” Beatrice took the hair tie on her wrist, somewhat picking up Ava’s sticky hair off her face. Yup, that was definitely a chunk of something tangled in her hair. Ava’s shoulder shook with a giggle.“You look a mess and you are laughing?!” Beatrice couldn't help it, her shoulder began to shake as well.

They both laughed wholeheartedly or in this case deliriously. And then Ava began to retch again.

“N—” Beatrice could feel it. The need to join. It was all dry, but enough for her body to gag and compulse a bit in solidarity.

Ava threw up again and Beatrice wobbled out needing to get out of there before dry turned into not so dry. She looked around the room looking for a small fridge with hopefully some water inside. It was a miracle at this point that she hadn’t tripped on the amount of clothing littering the floor. The room she found was as chaotic as its inhabitant. 

Score.

She grabbed the sealed bottle and basically hopped on one foot to the bathroom. She kneeled down to where Ava’s head was in the toilet, handing the bottle over. “Please rinse out your mouth. Stomach acid is not good for your teeth.”

Ava did as she was told. She sat back against the bathtub, everything finally catching up to her. 

Beatrice had wandered back into the room, she removed her coat and let herself rest against the bed. Her bandmates were never going to believe her if she ever brought this up. This could not happen again. She wasn’t built for this. She was built for late night doom scrolling and hot cups of tea. This had filled her social quota for the century and in a moment of weakness imagined her life right now in a different reality. She could be a nun, transcribing old texts and doing a bit of bookkeeping. Yup, that she was made for.

The toilet flushed and Ava slowly emerged from the bathroom. She leaned against the door frame, removing a heel at a time.“That was close.” She fiddled with the button of her jeans until she gave up and pulled them down without any warning.

Ava was a terrorist.

Beatrice made no attempt to look away. What would the point have been? Ava had managed to top whatever she did with something else. Silky black underwear. Pfft. “Right. So, I’m going to go now.” She pushed off the bed and shoved her hands in her pant pockets, “I would like to say that it has been great, but it has not.”

Ava pulled the covers and slipped inside without paying her any attention.

Beatrice waited for any kind of reply, but when none came concern took over once again. Ava was lying so still that she could have sworn she had a cardiac episode without any kind of preamble. She stepped closer, lowering her face enough to hear some kind of breath. Soft, hardly there. She could see Ava’s chest slowly rising and falling in rhythm. The person before her now felt so small and fragile, without the carefully crafted mask she had wielded the whole day.

She unconsciously ran a gentle hand down Ava’s cheek, the force pulling her to do it was so strong she didn’t have the strength to fight against it anymore. Ava was okay. She was asleep.

Beatrice grabbed the bottle from where Ava had left it on the bathroom counter and brought it to the night table closest to Ava. With one final look to satisfy her worry she turned to leave, carefully putting her weight on her foot, surprised to find that it felt much better already. She closed the room door lightly behind her and as she reached the lift doors. A noise from down the hall alerted her. The same woman from before, Emilia, emerged from the room opposite of Ava’s. She scanned a keycard against Ava’s door, but before stepping inside, her face turned, making eye contact with Beatrice.

Her face was unreadable and for just a moment Beatrice feared for her life. She looked away, smashing the lift button a couple of more times. She heard the door close down the hall and breathed a sigh of relief as the lift doors closed behind her.

—

Beatrice had hoped that a Sunday morning run followed by a cup of coffee would bring her some kind of peace. The chilly Autumn wind hit her cheeks, turning them pink. She sat outside her favourite coffee shop, which was just a few minutes walk from her flat. The run had filled her body with endorphins and she was currently riding the ‘ nothing is absolutely wrong ’ train. 

The last few days had been a roller coaster and dare she say a shit fest. Vincent was not answering her calls or any of their calls and had apparently disappeared from the face of the Earth. Her emails were out of control with managers, producers, sponsors and basically everyone in the industry that wanted a piece of them.

So this, a simple coffee, she could do for the moment. She wasn’t going to think about what had happened with Ava last night. And she was not going to think about murdering Vincent.

Several undisclosed and heavy shopping bags were deposited on the table in front of her. The sudden action caused her to blink rapidly several times.

A woman stood there observing her closely. She wore brown high waisted pants with a cream turtleneck and an olive coat, “Beatrice Young?”

“…Yes?” She was hesitant to confirm.

“Suzanne De Fanti,” She took a seat across from her.

Why did that name sound so familiar?

She waited for Beatrice to speak, but when no reply came she continued, “I hear that you are in need of a manager.”

“Oh well, that’s— does everyone know that?”

“Yes.” It was direct and Beatrice liked that in a person. “I have taken it upon myself to reach out to several brands that meet the bands general aesthetic or as you young kids call it now ‘vibes’.”

“I can see that.”

“It seems you are a difficult commodity to get a hold of and I am here to facilitate that.”

Realisation suddenly hit her. “You’re THE Suzanne De Fanti? You’re a legend. I thought you retired from management a couple of years ago.”

The woman shrugged. “If I’m being perfectly honest, the industry was a bit stagnant.”

“And you’re back?” 

“I believe so.” She answered, fingers picking at something on her nail. I have plenty of connections and old friends. I assume everything is still exploitative and disruptive.”

Beatrice watched her for a moment. This was probably too good to be true. How does something like this even happen? Also, how did Suzanne even find her? 

“Where are your bandmates? I’d like to meet them so we’re all acquainted.” Suzanne had a way about herself and Beatrice knew to keep a bit of skepticism. 

“That simple then?”

“It can be. I assume you don’t speak for them.”

“No, I do not.” A breath. “What’s in it for you? A return to your former glory?” 

“Don’t misunderstand my offer.” She began, “In my years of doing this I have rarely seen such a reaction towards a musician much less a band. You’ve done well, but that can only take you so far in this industry. You need proper connections and someone with the experience to help you navigate it all.” Suzanne searched her face. “You want to hear the most useful advice I can give you? Quit. Quit now before it hurts. Because it’s going to get a lot more difficult from here on out. Yes, getting attention in itself is a feat, but keeping it? That takes work, and not everyone is built for it. Trust me. I have seen it.”

Beatrice shifted her eyes. The words cut a little too close. “Is that all you think it is for us?”

“No, but the way I see it is, eventually, you forget to think about why you started in the first place. And then the hurt sets in.”

Beatrice doesn’t have a response. She lets the conversation sit between them and thinks. Always thinking. Her bandmates were beginning to show frustrations with Vincent’s lack of initiative, they had been busy and tired, so tired. Suzanne could be the person they needed.

“We have practice in thirty minutes. I can give you the address to the studio we’re renting, you can come see us then.”

“Nearby?”

“Just a few streets from here. I was about to change and head over before…” Beatrice waved her hand around not needing to communicate what had just happened.

“Alright, we go now.” Suzanne stood pointing at the bags, “How fashion savvy are you?”

“I have been trying very hard not to be giddy over the Alexander McQueen logo.”

She smiled in approval. “Well, what are we waiting for?” She grabbed a few bags and left the rest for Beatrice to help with. 

Beatrice thought she was a speedy walker on most days. Growing up in London had ingrained a mad scramble mentality to grab The Tube on busy work days, but this was on another level. Suzanne walked with so much haste that it was like she was running circles around Beatrice and still pulling in ahead and her legs could only take her so far.

“Bea! Beeeeaaaaaaa! BEATRICE!” Camila screamed across the street from them, somehow spotting them on her way to practice.

Suzanne stopped before she did and it took all her self control not to topple over her. 

Camila crossed the avenue, catching up to them. “I can spot those little pigeon ankles from anywhere.” She looked from Beatrice to the stranger, before her eyes caught sight of the bags.

“Camila Delcán”

“Oh…wow that’s scary.” She paused, “Do we know this…very well dressed woman?”

“Hi Camila,” Beatrice greeted her, a fond look on her face. “This is Suzanne De Fanti.”

“The Real Housewives of Napoli?”

“...I don’t…what?”

Suzanne laughed and it was genuine. “Potential new manager,” She extended her hand to Camila who shook it with both hers.

“I have been manifesting this.” She said, way too happy with the possibility. 

Suzanne handed the remaining bags to Camila, “Grab these will you, I need to make a phone call.” She pulled a phone from her purse and pressed the screen exactly once. “Lead the way ladies.”

And they were off again. Beatrice didn’t know what had possessed her, but somehow she was walking faster, eager to meet the rest of her bandmates. Camila kept pace next to her, she was hopping. They turned a corner and headed towards a three story building. Once inside they called for the lift and turned to look at Suzanne who had hung up and was taking in her sights.

“This won't do.”

“It was all we could afford and we’re still under contract.”

The lift arrived, doors grinded struggling to open.

“Stairs?”

“To our left but the lights have been out since August and the neighborhood teens hang out in there.” Camila offered, already stepping onto the lift alongside Beatrice. “I once found a boobless Barbie doll, it was so strange.”

“Hmm.”

They were all crammed in the small space as the sorry excuse for lift ascended. The metal rattled and further protested as the bass from the levels above amplified aggressive sounding drums and guitars. Beatrice and Camila looked at each other with concern as the lift’s door slowly opened to reveal the saddest looking loft imaginable. 

The three occupants inside continued their session. Lilith fiercely sing-screaming into the microphone while strumming her guitar. Mary casually just jamming with her bass and Yasmine too distracted on the drums to notice that anyone had arrived.

Wake up, wake up, wake up

We are appalling and we need to stop just watching shit in bed

And I know it sounds boring and we like things that are funny

But we need to get this in our fucking heads

The economy's a goner, republic's a banana, ignore it if you wanna

Suzanne looked around, slightly concerned with the safety of the loft as the walls shook and dust particles fell off the ceiling. The studio equipment was prehistoric and to be perfectly honest half of it didn’t even work anymore. There was a small couch by the wall behind the control booth and copious amounts of carpets. 

I don't like going outside, so bring me everything here

HEY! 

WOO!

YEA!

Mary was the first to notice their new guests, she gave Beatrice and Camila a small wave before walking towards the amps and shutting off their power. It took a few seconds for Lilith and Yasmine to realise what had occurred. 

“Guys! We have a new manager!” Camila shouted excitedly on her way to her bandmates.

“No…wait Camila,” Beatrice called out after her.

“New manager? I don’t remember us having a democratic vote about this? Beatrice?” Mary was always on top of everything.

“Suzanne De Fanti,” The older woman reached out for a handshake.

“Oh shit? It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Mary,” Mary shook her hand without hesitation.

“I know.”

Lilith and Yasmine now joined the rest.

“Yes.”

“Yes?” Beatrice raised her eyebrow towards Lilith.

“I vote yes.”

“We should think about this together.”

“No, I’m done waiting around,” Lilith answered back unfazed. “I’m well aware of who she is and what she is capable of.”

“And I’m well aware of who you are and what you’re capable of.” Suzanne smiled. “Your mother and I ran around the same circles years ago, I’m glad to see that she wasn’t wrong about you.”

The girls all stood in silence.

“Yes”

“YES!”

“Yea”

“I like her very much,” Yasmine spoke last.

“That settles it then.” Suzanne crossed her arms, looking at them a little too close for comfort. “Haircuts, clothes, studio, and Levy.”

“Levy?” Beatrice asked, confused.

“Yasmin, I require information of all that has happened this year and leading up to it.” Their new manager continued, not bothering to answer, “I’ve been following along but I need to know what the media doesn’t know.”

“I’m on it. I’ve kept a spreadsheet of all our exploits thus far.”

Camila’s eyes bulged. “What! What exploits?”

 The lift doors opened just as weakly as before.

“Uh, so I was just verbally assaulted by a very off-brand Billie Eilish outside.” The man walked towards them. He was impeccably dressed, coat outlining his shoulders perfectly. 

Suzanne smirked. “Girls, this is Levy.”

Camila bounced in place. “Can we keep him?”

—

One Month Later

“I thought I already told you to stop biting your cuticles, you look like a sneaky little rodent,” Levy leaned over and whispered-yelled rather roughly into her ear.

Beatrice was so close so so very close to ending his life. 

A model squeezed between them scrabbling towards her fitting assistant. 

Beatrice’s nails came back to her mouth. 

How Suzanne figured out she used to do ballet was a mystery to her. She had never referenced it in any interview, heck, her bandmates didn’t know. Well, except for Camila, but she wouldn’t. She wouldn’t, right? Why, Yes, Suzanne I love fashion. Please put me on a runway show, it’ll be great for the group's image and reachability. And sure, Suzanne had been skeptical about her abilities, but a few contacts later and a runway coach from hell had prepared her to do just one outfit. She could do this. It was just walking. She walked all the time in straight lines, and not so straight lines. Plus, she had great stamina. 

Levy swatted her hand away. 

She glanced around the massive room around her. Everyone was running around like a bunch of headless chickens. Photographers, hair stylists, makeup artists, assistants of assistants, models in various stages of undress and Levy. The lights were so bright that she was sure it would leave an impression in her corneas. Everyone was yelling and somehow it was the weirdest dance she had ever experienced. Everything was somehow going according to plan.

She found a bit of wall to lean on and it lasted exactly one second before Levy pulled her off it. “You’re going to crease it! And I am not about to be impaled by Sarah Burton.”

“You try standing on these!”

“I would willingly sell my left nipple to do so.”

Admittedly, the dress and heels she was wearing were beautiful, but she would not give him the satisfaction of enjoying this one bit. The embroidered black lace hugged her torso perfectly, which flowed until it hit silk that further became undone with fine brushed textures. She was about to politely scream like a banshee and truly personify the dress she was wearing. 

Levy walked off to answer his phone. Beatrice was certain it was Suzanne asking how she was doing. And by the look on his face, he was not being very kind. She would give him an earful once he came back.

Everyone around them burst into cheers suddenly, even the models engrossed in conversation stopped to look over. A few photographers rushed forward snapping pictures as the person walked to the enormous wall that was the entrance to the catwalk. The person must be the musical number that was meant to close the show. There was a break in the crowd and Beatrice could only stare a little slack jawed. 

Ava. 

It was Ava. 

Her hair had been cut straight across her shoulders in a clean bob. She had fierce eye makeup just like Beatrice’s and wore a dress that resembled one of the earlier looks. With cascading translucent white silk chiffon that stopped just a bit past her bottom with beautiful sunray pleats. She nodded a few times to the assistants nearby as they handed her a microphone and put in her in-ears. The music shifted and Ava stepped onto the runway.

“Beatrice!” Levy was urgently trying to get her attention.

She saw the closing looks coming together in order. The stage assistant ran frantically towards her. “Remember. Do it just like earlier during practice. Follow 41. Remember the cameras are mainly positioned at the front.” She wasn’t much younger than Beatrice. “Once you’re back, be ready to head back out to close the show with the rest of the models.”

Ava’s voice echoed inside.

She nodded, purely by instinct as she was pulled towards 41. 

Me da miedo cuando sales

Sonriendo pa' la calle

Porque todos pueden ver

Los hoyuelitos que te salen

She and 41 were about to become so intimate.

41 stepped through onto the runway and a hand was held in front of her. Once that hand was down it was go time. There was no more deliberation. She focused on Ava’s voice. The arm came down and she was off.

 She had practiced with the lights on before. She knew how intense they would be, but nothing could have prepared her for the amount of eyes that were currently on her. On either side of the runway were rows upon rows of the fashion elite. All taking notes in order to be the front page article the moment the show was over. The flash of photographers set her on edge momentarily as she navigated the now very foggy catwalk. She spotted Suzanne sitting to her left, who gave a quick nod, but nothing more.

Cuando sales por la puerta

Pienso que no vuelves nunca

Y si no te agarro fuerte

Siento que será mi culpa

Ava must have noticed her somehow because she made eye contact and stumbled with her words for a second. She walked past, head forward. She was almost there, almost finished. The photographer's flashes intensified as she made it to the end of the runway giving them a quick pose.

Pienso en tu mirá, tu mirá clavá es una bala en el pecho

Pienso en tu mirá, tu mirá clavá es una bala en el pecho

Pienso en tu mirá, tu mirá clavá es una bala en el pecho

Ava sang into her microphone, her powerful voice coming through perfectly. They made eye contact again. Beatrice’s stomach jumped. Huh . That was definitely new territory.

The walk backstage was even faster.

She made it, careful to stand out of the way for the final looks to come through. Levy waved frantically, his smile genuine. The models around her began to line up for the closing parade and she followed suit. 

Once they were all ready the stage assistant lowered her arm and they all walked out to the runway. The feeling was indescribable, she was riding on the world's weirdest high right now. She was equal parts delirious and beyond elated. 41 had saved her life and she was eternally grateful. 

As she made her way back from the photographers she gave Suzanne a huge smile and then it was over. Sarah Burton walked past her eager to take her bows as the audience clapped enthusiastically. 

Levy crushed her in a big hug. “I was rooting for you the whole time, didn’t doubt you for a second!” 

“I feel really really lightheaded right now.” She leaned back against a table, dress be damned. She needed something to ground her. All of that stress for maybe 5 minutes of having to do it.

Everyone around her was celebrating how great the show had turned out. Some models weren’t even fazed, already taking their makeup off and pulling at their hairs, the assistants around them helping them out of their outfits.

Without meaning to her eyes sought Ava in the crowd. Something that she should have been more careful about because as soon as she found her she saw more than she bargained for. And sure this was a fashion show and she had spent the majority of the day seeing the human anatomy in ways she hadn’t before. One of Ava’s assistants helped her out of her dress while the other one held another outfit. It was quick. She could have missed it if she looked away, but her heart began to palpitate. 

Ava’s eyes met hers and held her gaze. It was seconds, but it felt like an eternity and she had the audacity to wink in her direction.

The second assistant slid the dress on causing their gaze to shatter.

Oh God, can you make my heart stop?

Hit me with your kill shot, baby

I mean it so serious

God, can you make my heart stop?

Honey, with your kill shot, baby

I mean it so serious

[absolutebloodychaos]

Pst for the "Send me a Ship and a Number and I will Write a Kiss" challenge... maybe Jance for No. 29? :3

Thanks so much for the ask, sorry for the wait ❤️

“Ljubi, have you seen Igor?” Jan asks as he enters his and Nace’s living room, walking over to where his boyfriend is stretched out on their couch reading a novel. It had been hours since he had seen his, now their, beloved feline and while he was not worried, he was still curious as to where the cat could be. “Haven’t seen him yet today, sorry darling” Nace replies as Jan lies down, replacing the book's place in Nace’s arms. “It’s okay, he’s bound to turn up eventually” Jan says as he settles in further to his boyfriend’s warm hold.

“What’ve you been reading?” he asks, unable to find the novel that Nace was formally reading. It’d been a long day and he was glad his love was able to relax after many hours in the studio. Whilst the popularity of their new album was very welcome, and they both had a lot of anticipation for the coming tour, rehearsals were still long and somewhat arduous as the tour got nearer. “Well before you came over and practically laid down on my book…” Nace flashed a cheeky smile at Jan, “I was reading this book called Maurice; it’s gay, from the 1910s, has a happy ending, very good…” Nace keeps his summary of the book short as he can see that his boyfriend’s eyes are starting to droop.

“When did you get to sleep last night, babe?” Nace asks, Jan’s insomnia having gotten better since their moving in together but still being a relatively persistent problem. “Mmn, too late,” Jan says as he cuddles further into Nace’s chest. They had tried many methods to provide Jan with a longer regular amount of sleep but alas there were still times where it evaded him, such as last night. It seems though, that the hours are finally catching up with Jan as his mouth opens in a yawn not unlike what Igor would occasionally produce.

“Do you want to maybe try and sleep now love?” Nace offers in a hushed voice, gazing adoringly at his tired partner. “No, no, it’s-” Jan yawns loudly, “-it’s fine really. You wouldn’t be able to move and I can just get more slee-” Jan yawns louder this time, taking a moment to compose himself again before he continues, “I can just sleep tonight.” Nace looks upon the absurdly exhausted face of his lover, before shaking his head and making himself comfortable on the couch. “It’s really no problem darling, I’m comfortable here and I don’t need to start preparing dinner for at least another hour; get some rest,” Nace says, placing a soft peck on his boyfriend’s forehead. “You promise you’re okay?”Jan asks, his big brown eyes almost closed with fatigue. “I promise love,” Nace says, pressing one last kiss to the top of Jan’s head as his partner drifts off.

[ana-chronista]

Ship asks - Jance, 4 and 16 😊

4. …how many other characters in my opinion see the chemistry of this couple before the couple itself does.

Everyone, but I think that Jan and Nace would be included in that... sort of.

Hear me out. They both quickly recognise (separately) that they have insane levels of chemistry and both (separately, because what even is communication) start down their own pining spirals wishing that they could be something more without risking their friendship and the band for a confession that could absolutely never be reciprocated and that will just make things awkward.

And while they're pining, the others are in the background wondering how on earth they can both be so equally ridiculous. I actually think Bojan might be the first to recognise it - he's a big romantic, and although he might brush it off as his own projections at first, I think he'd soon realise how deep it all runs.

Jure would also catch on very quickly, partly because cat senses and partly because Bojan would want to share his big revelation with someone (Jere would already have heard, but can't remember Nace's name, so is a bit lost about Bojan's enthusiastic flailing 🤭). He's mostly second because he's often out aiming for the Guinness World Record for largest number of completed random side quests.

Kris, shockingly, would be the last to know but mainly because he has to block a lot of things out for his own sanity. However, he'd be the first to decide they need to have an intervention and knock their heads together.

(The crew, as always, is just watching in amusement, sharing popcorn and opening the traditional betting pools.)

16. …three of my fic recs for this ship. And (in the event that I've written something for them) one of my fics involving them that I'm most proud of.

Homophob-Igor by @ljubitelj-sonca: Where do I even begin? Seeing a couple through the eyes of another character is always an interesting angle, but seeing them through the eyes of Igor, especially this version of him? Absolutely perfect. I couldn't have asked for a better gift in the summer exchange to be honest. 😊

That Dish Doesn't Have (a) Reduction by @un-shit-yourself: I'm really loving how each character is translated into such a fun AU, and how much the growth of Jan and Nace's relationship is interwoven with the setting (instead of the setting just being incidental, you know?).

še bolj si te želim by @xianvar: This is absolutely beautiful and will have you hooked from the very start.

Of my Jance fics, Say Nothing is still one that I'm very proud of, partly because I wrote 2/3 of it at my most ill and actually finished it. It now lives at the back of my mind as reminder whenever I'm struggling to write. 😅 I had an absolute blast writing about these two lovestruck idiots trying to distract themselves from their own noteworthy situation by focusing so much on fixing Bojan's.

Obsession Ask Game

[hotcat37]

Hi. If you still do the number prompt writing can I ask for 21, 24, 30, 45? Jance with autistic!Nace?

I’m sorry for asking for so many numbers. Autistic!Nace is still one of my comfort headcanon. And the IKEA fic is still one of my fav fics

Love from an autistic fan who loves your work (both writing and drawing).

I'm so glad you enjoy my content and the IKEA au <33 Sorry this took so long, I've had exams :')

Prompt 21: "Oh, love what have you done to yourself?" Prompt 22: Unless you ask me not to in the next five seconds, I'm going to hug you." Prompt 30: you're okay. Please be okay Prompt 45: oh, love….

CW for light self-harm (hair pulling)

Jan probably should've predicted that this could possibly happen. Or maybe not. It's not like Jan knew beforehand that their plans would derail like this at the last moment. And in general, Nace is perfectly capable of managing his own emotions. He knows what triggers to avoid and even if a meltdown does occur, the brunette is able to stay calm enough to at least get himself somewhere safe. Now Nace is curled up on the kitchen floor, head in his hands, tugging at his hair. Other than his heavy breathing, the other man is relatively quiet all things considered. Jan can't tell if that's a good or a bad sign. There's shattered pieces around Nace from where he presumably dropped a plate earlier. Jan hadn't seen it happen but that was probably the final trigger for Nace. "Sweetheart.....what have you done to yourself?" Jan gently pipes up, keeping his voice soft. Nace releases a pained grunt but otherwise doesn't respond. He must be going non verbal then. Jan squats a few steps away from his lover, mindful of the broken plate. Nace is still pulling restlessly at his hair. Jan notices that he tends to do that when frustrated. And today's events definitely call for frustration. They were supposed to meet up with Kris and Jure today, Nace especially looking forward to it, but the plans had abruptly been canceled due to unforeseen circumstances. While Jan doesn't care much, he knows sudden changes are very difficult for Nace to deal with.

The older man begun washing dishes to calm himself. But Jan had heard a crash not much later so safe to say Nace's day isn't going great so far.

"You're okay, Nace....." He tries to verbally reassure his lover. Nace seems to be overstimulated right now and so Jan refrains from touching him. Brown eyes soon fleet to look into his, something about the spark in them so upset that Jan's face immediately softens. "Oh, love...."

"Give me a sign if you don't want it, but I'm gonna hug you within the next 5 seconds, okay?" Jan can't bare to just stay sitting here. The urge to comfort is almost primal. Nace is thankfully coming to himself again, if slowly, offering a small nod in consent.

Jan impatiently swipes some of the plate shards aside with the back of his hand before settling properly beside Nace. He gently takes the brunette's wrists to make Nace stop his hair pulling at once. Nace easily relents, tense body gradually relaxing as Jan wraps him up in his arms. Jan holds his boyfriend like that for a long time, until the calmness is practically radiating off of Nace and the other man puffs out a sigh against his shoulder.

"I broke the fucking plate." The simplicity of the statement causes Jan to start laughing. Though Nace's chuckle is quiet, it's there and it's enough to make Jan feel relieved. Crisis averted.

"That's okay." He tells Nace with a shrug. "We can always get another one.....at IKEA."

"Oh, please...." Though Nace rolls his eyes, the smile that spreads across his face betrays him.

[jokeroutsubs]

🎈🍰Nace Birthday Special🍰🎈 ENG SUB: JokerOutSubs x RADIOaktivno collab: 'Demoni' Album Presentation

Audio + CC link: https://youtu.be/4plC7TteUGw

We are once again very happy to have been able to collaborate with Boštjan Najžar from RADIOaktivno podcast (Facebook, YouTube), with whom we already worked for 'Umazane misli' subtitles. He very kindly reuploaded the deleted Demoni album presentation video on YouTube and we were able to provide subtitles for it!

Below you can find the transcription of our translation of the interview, which originally aired on 23.11.2021, on Radio Prlek/RADIOAktivno YouTube channel.

Cr: Translation by drumbeat, @varianestoroff, and another member of JOS. Proof read by TWT klamstrakur, Anastasia and @flowerlotus8

Transcript 👇

Everyone: We are Joker Out.

Bojan: And you're listening to Radioaktivno.

Host: 'Katrina' by Joker Out, all the members are with me today on Radioaktivno. New member Nace, Kris, Jure, Bojan and Jan. Hi!

Nace: Hello!

Kris: Hi, greetings.

Jure: Hi, hi.

Bojan: Good morning.

Jan: Same… also from me.

Well, even though it's already evening, I see your days are short or they turn immediately into mornings.

Jan: Yes, we usually wake up at 8pm, and stay awake for two days, and then we go to sleep.

Isn't 8pm already the end of the day, or is that when the soundchecks are over?

Bojan: We basically call it vampire rotation. So… We skip the soundchecks and then, when we wake up, we get out of our coffins and go straight to the stage.

So you don't like the light?

Bojan: No, we're not really comfortable with light, yes. Sunglasses are mandatory.

Kris: That's why we live in Ljubljana, where it's never really bright anyway.

I disagree. I was looking at some photos today, and when the sun was out over there, here it was still foggy.

Kris: See, that is why we are here today.

Bojan: Well said.

'Katrina'

Jure, we started with 'Katrina', with the single that launched your new album.

Jure: Yes, it's true. 'Katrina' is the first single we released at the end of August, before the album was out. What can I say? We also made a video for it with Mark Pirc.

Bojan: Maybe the most energetic, or one of the more energetic songs on the album. It kinda feels like this album is maybe a bit calmer compared to the first one, or more oriented towards, how should I say, yes, frustrating, restless moments. So 'Katrina' is, and let's say, 'Ne bi smel', which we will hear later, kind of represent the high point in terms of rythm, we think.

Today we also have in our company a new band member, Nace. How did you integrate into the band after a few weeks?

Nace: I will say, musically, I never doubted it, but as mates, or, rather, band-mates, we've been slowly growing into a little family, I think. We've spent quite a bit of time together now, in the span of a month, and I have to say, they've grown on me so much, like, yes, a family, right?

Have you passed all the tests, taken all the exams?

Nace: I mean, I had the last one yesterday, but, I have to say, that I didn't quite get an A, right?

Kris: And what was that test?

Nace: Well, about the history of Joker Out.

Kris: Oh, yes.

Nace: So I learned something new as well alongside the mistakes, right? But I've still got time.

I see though you have integrated into the band well, you've already got your sunglasses on.

Nace: It was a must-have, right away, as Bojan called me at the time, he said, "Do you have (sun)glasses?" I said, "I do". And that was it and he said, "I think we've found the one."

Bojan, do you have difficult admissions exams, then?

Bojan: Well, I wouldn't say we have difficult admissions exams. Rather for the reason that there are practically no admissions exams, the same thing happened with Jure and Nace. Basically, when we kind of said, we want him, it was more based on this energy that they were radiating, not so much just on musicality, or whatever you want to call it. And in both cases we made the right decision. Now, I believe that we are done deciding.

The next one will be 'Ne bi smel'.

'Ne bi smel'

Jan: Yes, 'Ne bi smel' is a song that we "should have" written, and it's actually, along with 'Katrina', quite a bit, it's the second most most energetic one. I think we had, I mean that Bojan, had maybe the most trouble with the writing of its lyrics, but…

Bojan: The most and the least trouble simultaneously.

Jan: Yes.

Jure: But I think the least work we had was with the instrumental, it got put together really quickly.

Bojan: This song is, well, good thing Jan took the microphone, because I wrote the lyrics for 'Ne bi smel' practically as they are today, crossed them out completely and Jan came into the rehersal space very upset and said to me, that I had to go back to the old lyrics, and I'm really…

Jan: You shouldn't have changed it.

Bojan: Yes, but I didn't know how else to…. So, yes, well, that song was just a big frustration for me, actually, because I've changed the lyrics so many times and ended up going back to the first version. But yes, enjoy.

'Ne bi smel' and Joker Out with their album 'Demoni' on Radioaktivno. Fresh from 'Umazane misli', you've released a new album.

Bojan: Yes, our ghostwriter was really diligent, so we were able to get the new material out very quickly. No, actually, we can't believe it ourselves how quickly the second album came to be. Especially because the first album was quite a torturous process, at least in the finishing touches, when it came to mixing, and we all thought that we got tired of making music and that there wouldn't be an album at least for a while. Then we really reached a moment when…

Jure: You know what happened? We set up the rehersal space.

Bojan: Yes.

Jure: And we announced Križanke, and then we were like, "Okay, now what? Maybe we need to go to Križanke…" Yes, we announced Križanke earlier than we started the album.

Kris: We sold it out before we started the album.

Jure: Yes, well, that too. We went to Križanke and we said, yes, well, we gotta release a new album, right, for Križanke.

Jan: But we've also sold it out promising this… the debut of a new album that hasn't even been made yet.

Jure: Yes, yes, we haven't done anything yet!

Bojan: When it hadn't even been planned yet.

Jan: Not one song, nothing.

Bojan: Nothing. We were like, "Hey, ten really sick songs, that for now don't exist yet, but we'll handle this later ."

But then these songs were created very quickly, because Križanke was in September of this year?

Kris: Yes, they were created quickly. I mean, if we're being completely honest, some have been in the making, even when we were making the first album, because, you know, you can't frustrate yourself with only ten songs, that you've been twisting for two and a half years, and Bojan in particular and I have written a few songs in between, or outlines. Then we built from that, when we started, the first draft. For the first draft.

Bojan: A first draft and an outline.

Kris: Right, a first outline.

Which means that things have been happening very fast for you lately?

Kris: Yes, things are moving quite fast, maybe, maybe even too fast for some. [someone gasps dramatically and Kris laughs] No, but in my opinion, we're all excited about it, and we're basically happy that everything can evolve so dynamically.

Can you all keep up?

Jure: I think so far yes, we have a great team around us, who really help us a lot. So, yes, we're keeping up with everything so far. A problem would arise if we didn't, right?

Bojan: And then we would break up. And in ten years' time we'll have a reunion and sell out some venues again and then break up again.

Jan: No, we must not disband now, because there's one Instagram page, a page called Joker.Out_nesmerazpadt [Joker.Out_ shouldnotbreakup]. So, let's not disappoint our fans.

Do you follow social networks well?

Jan: Yes, we must. Because, I mean, as someone who deals with social networks in the band, I feel like I spend a lot more time on my phone, doing whatever it is I'm actually doing, than making music. Which is a bit of a shame, but it's just how it is today, if the band itself promotes a brand of its own, its own image, you have to take care of the other things as well, that are not music.

Bojan: I think you should be grateful for all these references that you're going to be able to put to good use in PR and strategic management…

Jan: What, you mean if I wanted to get a job at Telekom?

Bojan: …when we break up and you'll be looking for a real job as a TikToker.

Someone: Manager.

'Plastika'

With the second one, we'll undergo surgery. It's time for 'Plastika'.

Bojan: Yes, 'Plastika' is a song that was written in the studio a few days before the album was released, basically. I didn't know what to write about, and there was an article in Delo about how 1/3 of Slovenian teenage girls want plastic surgery, and producer Žarko Pak looked at me from his chair and said, "Write a song about this." And I did.

Joker Out, 'Plastika', album 'Demoni' which we're playing today. You're not the luckiest with electricity. And if we connect this to Ormož.

Jure: Oh yes, yes, I mean, at our place we installed the wiring ourselves, so we're good electricians. But if the fuel runs out in the generator, it's not our fault, right.

Bojan: Yes, Ormož was such a lucky-unlucky situation, because we ran out of electricity during the concert, but luckily, that's the lucky part then, we were so, I would say, in the right mindset, that we went to stand on the speakers in front anyway, and sang and strummed on the acoustic guitar, until the power came back on, so it was actually one of those special little moments, and the flashlights and the lighters were on, you know, romance, people kissing, dancing, hugging, so, nice.

Does that mean you are also working on an acoustic repertoire?

Jure: Not yet.

Jan: Only in Ormož.

Jure: [laughing] Only in…

Bojan: Ormož special.

Jure: No, not yet, I think it's a bit early for acoustics. We'll do it later, in our old age, when we don't know what to do anymore.

As the older musicians say, when you go to their concerts, or like when you start playing around 5 or 7 PM at the latest.

Bojan: Yes, yes, that's it. Acoustic. Have a seat, and we'll be done at five.

Jure: Then let's go home and watch the news, you know, at seven.

Anyway, you have a lot going on right now, you sold out Križanke not long ago.

Kris: Križanke was just now, yes, actually, they seem… Even though it may be, we've been on holiday and I don't know, I think we did ten concerts in between, so Križanke seems like a long time ago. But now we're basically already heading to another bigger venue, Stožice, on October 6th, 2023. Yes, exclusively, exclusively for Radio Prlek. On the other hand, especially now with our latest single 'Demoni', we also have our eye on the Balkans and we're waiting to see if anything happens.

How do sold-out venues affect you?

Nace: I mean, I'm looking forward to Stožice for now, right, which I have no doubt will be sold out. So, anyway I don't know, I wasn't with them in Križanke, so I can't say that I've experienced it, but let's just say, that I look forward to everything that is coming.

Does this give you extra motivation to practice more?

Nace: I mean, if I may be a little cocky, I think I don't need to practice, right. But if you don't believe that, I recommend to come to a concert and listen to me play.

I see you have a good new member.

Bojan: Yes, yes.

Jure: Good at lyings, good at lying.

Bojan: Nace is a few years older than us, right, and he's…

Jan: Just by 30 years, right.

Bojan: 30 years older. …that he has quite a lot of experience. and he's a professional musician, so we're really just a bunch of amateurs compared to him, right, as far as practice is concerned, so I think, that Nace is quite right at this point, that if anybody needs a little bit of practice, it's us, and maybe me most of all, well, but let's move on.

Kris: To be completely honest, since being in the band Nace has requested to reherase the most. And even then we were like, "No, no, we don't need to", so… It's not entirely true, this facade that he's put up.

Nace, how much musical experience do you have, then? In which bands?

Nace: Me? I mean, oh… This question surprises me every time. I mean, with time, when you play so much you tend to forget people and I always find it hard to put a spotlight on people because I know, I will forget someone and I don't want for them… Well. What should I tell you?

Jan: About the cruise ship.

Nace: Oh, yes, as a fun fact, I can tell you that as an 18 year old I already went into the world, on a ship, on a cruise ship, to play where I spent half a year, I saw a bit of the world I came home and started to get a bit more involved in the Slovene music scene. So, maybe it's one of those things that most people have seen and I'm still a member of the 'Diamanti' band. RTV Slovenia programme 'Friday Evening'. And I was an accompanist for quite a lot of Slovene artists, I also recorded some things. So, I think that I've already left a mark, but it's far from final, and I think I will also leave one with the band, I'll bring something new to the band and show that… Who is, not who is Nace Jordan, but that I deserved this spot.

I almost heard, who is Nace Junkar?

Nace: You're not the first, well, but… as much… I'll say that Nace is a great person, right, as far as I got to know him, but I don't want to be mistaken for him. Jordan and Junkar, there is a slight difference

'Demoni'

The next one is 'Demoni'.

Jure: Oooh, little demons.

Bojan: Mhm.

Jure: The first one in Serbian. Bojan, I think it's best if you tell us more about it.

Bojan: Well, 'Demoni' is actually one of the first songs that I've written in Serbian in my life. The reason behind it was mostly or rather, let's say that the reason can be split into two parts. The first part is because we share the aspiration to go out of Slovenia's borders, to the Balkans, which are familiar to us. And the second part is that my roots are Serbian and I always wanted for my grandma to understand what I'm singing about because she always tells me "Yes, it's a lovely song," but if you don't understand it completely then it doesn't have that much meaning, right I've always wished for her to be able to understand so now she understands. Though she wasn't that excited about…

Jure: Right, she wasn't, I was just about to ask…

Bojan: No, that there're demons, it confused her. Why demons, is there something wrong with them, like that. But nothing is wrong, grandma, everything is all right. Everything is all right, grandma.

Demoni' from Joker Out on the Radioaktivno show. Exit was this year. A Serbian festival, world renowned, with a lot of people. Did you have fun there?

Kris: We had a lot of fun. Above all it was our first non Slovene concert experience for us. Before that we played in Poreč but more for Slovene students. So it was our first time introducing ourselves to the international crowd. And one might say that the majority of the crowd were Slovenians, but I was under the impression that a few foreigners were also impressed by our concert and that we left a mark, now we're hoping to be called back to Novi Sad because we had so much fun during those days when we were there.

Bojan (in Serbian): Brothers, call us, we would very much like to come back.

Have you then made a grand enough entrance through the doors to the Balkans?

Jan: Yes, we rang…

Bojan: With a club.

Jan: …with a hammer on the door. I don't know, I mean… I think that after a concert in Stožice the band that does it, also needs something new, something fresh. So, outside of Slovenian borders, there are many ears who want good music. So I think that Serbia is a great destination.

Nevertheless, the title of the album is after a song that is in the Serbian language.

Bojan: Well, that isn't that relevant. The title of the album was actually chosen because we thought that the word demons sums up all these elements we were surrounded with from Cvetličarna onward pretty well. Demons represent good responses bad responses, demons were sleepless nights, a lot of concerts, demons are the new songs that aren't made yet, demons were Križanke, that we sold out without having an album. Basically, a lot of demons were keeping us company we were each other's demons, because we were together all the time, maybe we were fed up with each other in some moments maybe we missed each other in some moments. So we really thought that this very short and clearly defined word that covers a broad spectrum of things that were happening to us. Not just negative but also positive, but yes.

Are you ever asked why Serbian and not English? Because the majority of artists create in English to break into the international market?

Jure: Well no, I think we aren't asked this much but I think that each one who starts working in English in Slovenia comes back to Slovene at the end.

Kris: We'll come to that. We have …

Jure: But yes.

Kris: We have a more long term tactic than most Balkan artists. First, go to the South, then through the South to the North, through the diaspora. So, first we have to conquer Serbians and Croats and all the others and so…

Bojan: and Bosnians and North Macedonia...

Kris: …and all the nationalities in between then we can go to whichever German, Swiss Austrian club to play.

Bojan: Well, no, you know what, being an author and wanting to stay authentic it's beneficial to stay in the language that suits your creative process and Serbian is my mother tongue which I think I expressed myself quite well in, right. Especially considering it's my first try. We'll see about English, I need more practice. I listened to an interview and I am pretty stiff... In English I mean.

Everyone: [laughter]

Practice makes perfect, they say.

Bojan: It wasn't planned. Yes, practice makes perfect.

Kris: You mean, have you listened to that interview yet?

Bojan: No, I haven't. I lied. But It's not like anyone can tell.

'Padam'

Next one is 'Padam'.

Kris: 'Padam' may be the first song that we envisioned for the new album to me it seemed that it defined the direction and vibe for the album very well. But when Bojan was playing it to us, it was very, very different. It was more suited to a band format than it is now. Do you remember?

Jure: Yes.

Kris: Yes, it had a demo with drums and that. Yes, I think so. I was sure then, that, that it would be, because it was a strong song lyrically and melodically and I was sure that it would be the biggest single of the album. But then, over the album making process, we somehow changed it and stripped it down and turned it into some kind of an acoustic ballad that really forces you to listen to the lyrics. Maybe it's not a banger as it used to be but it stands out more.

Bojan: So if someone says that Joker Out is a band that only wants hits it's just not true. This is a lie.

Also ballads.

Bojan: Also ballads.

Jure: That are hits, of course.

Bojan: Yes, yes. Right, that's a given, it's a given, god willing.

This time you offered us ten songs. It's interesting that you haven't released singles before but you first offered the album and 'Katrina' at the same time. Different approach than with the previous album where singles were combined in an album.

Kris: Yes, well in an ideal world we could release a few singles before the album release but we wanted to have two whole albums released in such short time that we actually didn't have time to deal with the process of releasing singles before the album release. But we'll definitely release a lot of singles from this album after it's out. So, 'Katrina' is released and 'Demoni', and then a lot of things can come. Also, for example, a song that to many didn't look like a single from the album could be released with a music video. When we released the album, there were I wouldn't say mixed responses but different people liked different songs. Now they maybe figured out which ones are more favourites and which aren't. But anyway, there's something for everyone on the album every listener can find a song or two on the album that are their favourites. And it's not as if it's so unevenly distributed.

Nace, how many times have you listened to both albums?

Nace: To both? I mean, I listened to the first one more for sure, since it has been out for longer, right. Otherwise, I listened to the second one immediately when it was released, I started listening to it in order to learn it. So I practically listened to it at least once per day for a month when the boys were vacationing. And maybe I might have gone over the guitar part as well, while driving, so, out loud, through Ljubljana, windows down, you know how it goes.

Bojan: You were driving, you were driving with a guitar in your car. Are you insane?

Nace: Look, I knew that I couldn't come there and not know, so I took advantage of every minute. I'm driving from Kranj, you know that is half an hour every day, when you go to Ljubljana, and it comes in handy. You know, a rush hour and you can… At least that bit of 'Padam' where tha bass comes in you know, I can practice it in between.

If we focus on sound, can you compare it to the debut album?

Jan: No. I mean, in some aspects, yes we're still us, the same people that also created the first album but the first album was recorded very sporadically. First, we recorded some drums, then the bass three months later, then we were recording the guitars for half a year every day, for a few hours and it dragged on, the thought process wasn't connected but it was more fragmented. So yes, I think that this album because for the most part we recorded it all together it works more coherently, in regards to sound.

Kris: If I may add, besides the whole process that influenced the sound, with this album we paid much more attention to the sound in post-production and instead of Žare who mixed the first album we found Todd Burke from LA this time who is a mixing and recording engineer there and he actually contributed a lot and he elevated the professional level of the whole product.

It means that you went from disorder to order?

Jan: We went from a mess to a blooming meadow, yes.

Who is the main author, or rather how do you create?

Bojan: Well, I'm the main author but this album was really like… What can be heard… What can be heard on the album was really a product of all of us because it was actually being made at the rehearsal space Songs were changing a lot from day to day from moment to moment. We tried a thousand and one versions for each one all ideas were welcome so I think that we truly found what everyone liked the best for each song.

As can we can see, now your rehearsal space is pretty nicely done.

Bojan: Yes, our rehearsal space is actually like our holy temple that we built ourselves. And we are immensely proud of it. Here, I think Jure is the most suitable to talk about it because he was, I'll say, the main author.

Jure: Installed the wiring and… Yes. Yes, we have a lovely space now, yes. It's nice, it's nice to come to the space and feel at home. Because it's a different energy and you can be more creative. I remember the beginnings, when we made the space when we first played there, do you remember it?

Bojan: Yes, yes.

Jure: When it was like, "Oh, sick."

Bojan: And then Maček, he thought it was so sick that he slept there for a week.

Jure: I do that even now.

Bojan: The rehearsal space influenced the album's creation a lot. Really, so I would say that a space is one of key elements for the band.

'Vse kar vem'

The second part is the lyrics, who's in charge of those?

Kris: Yes, again, for the most part, Bojan. although on this album one was written entirely by me, and one was a collaborative effort, between me and Bojan. That's actually the very next song, 'Vse kar vem', which we basically, I had an outline of the chorus, when last year, in March 2021, we went…

Jure: That's almost two years ago then.

Kris: Right, no, a year and a half. A year and a half.

Jan: Where were we?

Bojan: You've already had that in Šentjernej

Kris: I'd had it in Šentjernej already? Okay.

Bojan: Yeah, you've already revealed a bit of the chorus.

Kris: Oh, okay, interesting. Well, but we worked it out in March 2021, when we went to a hunting lodge in Lower Carniola and we took the chorus, Bojči changed the vocal melody slightly, we kept the lyrics and we made it into a whole song, which is basically based on these four chords. And he wrote segments of the lyrics, from the verses and the stanzas and the song grew spontaneously. I don't know if either of us even really knows what it means, because the stanzas are kind of in contrast to the chorus, but they come together very well.

On the album cover you are surrounded by mirrors and flowers. Except Nace, you are not there yet.

Nace: That, you asked the wrong person. It's just, when I look at the album cover, ah, the cover's pretty wicked. If you look at all the details in the background, how the guys are positioned, take your time, because I think you should dig into it at least a little bit and admire.

Kris: The album cover, if I may add, basically, if you'd like to see more details of how it was made, or what it all looked like, our new video 'Demoni', which was released a while ago, was basically shot on the same set and the same day, as we were doing the photoshoot for the album cover and it kind of visually supports the title track of the album.

Jure, is there something you wanted to add? For the album cover?

Jure: That they should buy the CD if they wish to see it.

Bojan: I would just add, that we are extremely happy and very grateful for the team, that was responsible for this creation. There was Primož Lukežič on camera along with Mark Pirc on the conceptual design, Andraž Drobnič on the graphic design and Damir, or Ponorelli, who did such a good job of styling us.

Who is in charge of your image?

Jan: Partly ourselves, for…

Bojan: Partly our parents.

Jan: Partly the parents, yes, they take us to Nama occasionally. Well, for the big concerts, for the videos and for the album cover, for the videos 'Katrina' and 'Demoni' and for the concert in Križanke, Damir Ponorelii handled the projects for us. Damir Raković Ponorelii. A good name. Well done, Damir.

Bojan: Rakičan.

Jan: Yeah, I think he, sometimes it's good to have a sixth eye. When we try to style ourselves for a concert and things don't…

Bojan: You mean the 11th and 12th eye?

Jan: Yes. Yeah, I mean, yeah. Right. He's probably got a 13th eye as well, right.

As you mentioned, you also filmed the most recent single, 'Demoni', in the same style?

Bojan: Yeah, we shot the video on the same day, as Kris said earlier, the same day that we shot the cover photo. So, it's seemed quite logical for us to make the most of this set, that's been set up in the studio, the guys have brought from the Ljubljana Marshes the whole covering, the mirrors were set up and it really kind of encapsulated the mood of the song of 'Demoni' and the album itself. And I believe we were pretty much done in two hours. Actually, the post-production was probably more complex for Mark. As you can see in the video, it took a little bit of video-shop skills as well, or whatever they're called.

Kris: Uh, if I may comment, you haven't actually heard this before. A while ago, when Jure and I were guests on the radio, the host said that when he first looked at the video, he was genuinely frightened. That he was a little bit thrown off, right, when he watched it. So in my opinion, we've achieved with the video what we set out to do.

Today, actually, video production is a necessity.

Kris: Yes, it is. Especially for the Balkan market, I believe, a song doesn't exist if it doesn't have a visualization, right, and a video is your way in if you want to. In Slovenia, we still have this way of life, where one would indeed listen to an album or buy a CD, which is nice to know, no.

'Ona'

'Ona' will be next, also in Serbian, and Bojan curses in it. How so? Or is it coincidental?

Bojan: Yeah, you know what, this cursing infiltrated itself very spontaneously in the lyrics. And I'm not the biggest fan of that kind of thing in principle, but it seems to me that in the whole context of the song, that phrase was very fitting, it's just an expression anyway. The thing that you really don't give a * for something, is just part of everyday vocabulary, including me at home. and when I showed it to my parents, they thought it was pretty amusing, not vulgar, and I don't think it's vulgar either, so yeah.

Jure: I'm interested in what your grandma said.

Bojan: But Grandma was mor… Okay, here we go. Grandma was slightly offended the first time she heard it. The deal is, she couldn't quite imagine how anyone could just put something like that it in a song, right. But she told me a month ago, that she really, really loves listening to this song now and that she thinks it is hilarious.

Jure: Yeah, well, come on.

See, now Bojan is no longer a nice little boy.

Jure: Now grandma knows what you're up to, right.

Bojan: Now he's a nice little girl.

How did the listeners respond to the second album?

Jan: According to the interactions we had with them live and through social networks, I'd say pretty good, right. I mean, maybe it wasn't what they were expecting, it definitely wasn't, they weren't expecting techno, bangers and what else we've got, yeah, the Beatles on acid, but I think we've intrigued them, that we kind of poked them, which I think is quite welcome.

The reviews are also positive, as you can read online?

Kris: Well, you know, I've read two so far. One was Croatian and one Slovenian. The Croatian one was maybe even a little bit more positive. The Slovenian one was, basically, based on it still being Shagadelic rock'n'roll or not. See, I don't know, maybe it is, maybe it isn't.

Bojan: You know, how you can ask the creator…, anyway, we invented Shagadelic rock'n'roll, right, so, whatever is made by the one who invented it, it's just it.

Jure: It just is.

Bojan: You can't…

Kris: I mean, yeah, okay, I totally agree with that, but you know, they've just based their impression of what Shagadelic rock'n'roll is on our first album, and maybe for most Shagadelic rock'n'roll is, what 'Umazane misli' was. But you have to allow for the possibility, for it to develop, because if you don't you're going to be listening to 'Umazane misli' 2, 3, 4, and 5 for the rest of your life, and we wouldn't want do that. We have decided for the morning after 'Umazane misli' and that is what 'Demoni' is.

What about the initial reactions from the Balkans?

Bojan: Last time we were backstage with Buč Kesidi, who are, let's just say that, at the moment the most active band in the Balkans from the younger generation and they were very, very, very, very, very excited about the album. And for Demoni, they said, "This, bro, is such a bomb, bro, it's gonna be a megahit, bro. I mean, literally, it's killing it, bro."

I mean, Bojan, this sounded very authentic just now and exactly as they'd say it.

Bojan: Yes, yes. That's exactly how it was, right. I didn't make a thing up.

Kris: He basically played the recording just now, since the listeners won't be able to tell.

Probably. Nace, are the listeners the main critics then, underneath the stage, in front of the stage.

Nace: I mean almost certainly. I mean, that's who this music is being made for, they're the reason we go on the road and perform. So I think it couldn't be any other way.

How have they received you as the new member? Is there more buzz around you now?

Nace: I'm not sure if I'm in the spotlight. And I think that neither they nor I, or anyone else for that matter has tried to thrust me into it. But it seems to me, just moving from concert to concert, that they're warming up to me, and so on… They're already shouting, "Nace!" and it feels really nice.

Kris: Has anyone approached you for a photo?

Nace: Yes, they have…

Bojan: They already have.

Nace: They have, they have.

Kris: Oh, great. This is a good sign.

'Tokio'

Next one up will be 'Tokio'.

Jure: Oooh, 'Tokio'. We love playing that one at concerts. I dunno, it's such a vibrant song, really. I'm lost for words…

Bojan: You're full of fun ideas…

Jure: No, you know what, it's 8 PM and my mind's blank.

Bojan: Okay, okay, yeah, we just woke up. Well, the reason is, 'Tokio' is actually… 'Tokio' because my first demo was in English, it was a bunch of gibberish, but in between was 'Dancing in the Streets of Tokyo' and Žarko insisted that this catchphrase has to stay. So, then we were making jokes a bit, about playing in Japan, and that's why I included two sentences in Japanese. And it was really cool, because when we were recording the vocals, we were like, "Okay, what's the Japanese pronunciation now?" and then we called Jan's ex-classmates who are studying Japanese studies, to tell us how to pronounce it, and we called a Japanese lady, someone Žare knew…

Kris: Some Slovenian man, married to a Japanese lady, no idea really, but, Mami Narita…

Bojan: Yes, yes, Mami Narita…

Kris: Yes, yes, yes it's not a joke at all. It's, it's, maybe you should leave this out, so it's not on record, but, it was actually her name, Mami Narita.

Bojan: Don't put this in in, please.

Jure: Yeah, well, whatever, it's a name. Whatever?

Bojan: I mean, she could be the only one in Slovenia.

Or, if you know the singer Stella, you can get in touch now, she's just gone to Japan to study.

Jure: Really?

Bojan: Well, here we go.

Jure: We've met Stella, haven't we?

Bojan: We know Stella, yes. We haven't been in touch for a while, though, but, right, Stella's a great girl. We've met Stella, but, yeah, we're probably not going to be hanging out that much, obviously, if she's going to Japan.

She's already there.

Bojan: She's already there? Maybe we'll visit.

Kris: Maybe the song is about Stella.

You've had a vacation since Križanke, was it an active one or not?

Jan: Yeah, I went to Littoral Slovenia for a week, with a tiny keyboard , among the goats and the hills above the Vipava Valley. And then Jure and I went caravanning around Germany, where our tyre blew up twice, but let's leave out the details. And we bought some new equipment, so, yeah, it was spent actively in part and in part, we did rest.

What about you Bojan?

Bojan: I've spent a few days at the seaside, a few days in Banja Luka at my grandma's, lounging on the sofa all day, eating čevapi and drinking Coca Cola. One day I literally got up from the sofa in the evening, and my grandma said, " Where are you going?" And I said "I'm going to grab something to eat." "No, I'll go!" So I literally wasn't allowed to do anything.

Jure, besides Germany?

Jure: Besides Germany, a week at the sea and afterwards we went to the seaside together, for a couple of days. I don't know, it was nice, but we haven't vacationed in so long, it was a bit weird to go on holiday, right. It's not my usual mode.

Kris?

Kris: Yeah, I've had, let's say, the least, the least laid-back kind of vacation, because on the same night after Križanke, I flew to Peru, where I spent three weeks. We hiked and travelled and basically got very little sleep. All in all, it was a good experience and it basically was the only time when I could make a trip like that possible, a kind of collective vacation, but we had a chance to relax a bit when I got back, we went to Pula for a couple of days, as the guys have already mentioned. and that was my, let's say, my actual time off.

Nace, all you did was practice?

Nace: I did, for the whole month basically, like I've mentioned, and when I didn't practice, I was driving around in the car, and then I practiced in the car.

Bojan: What about the fish?

Nace: That's it, right. And then we went to Pula together that week, that was, what, the last week? Before the first concert, we got to know each other…

Kris: That was the first week of October.

Nace: …a little bit better. The first week of October, yeah. So we had a good time. And then straight to the gig, it was well, yeah. And the fish… Actually, yeah, Bojan and I got a new hobby, we took up fishing, but we've spent a fair amount of time fishing and I have to say, so far, without success. But it's nice, so if anyone knows, a serious fisherman, Bojan and I are really looking for someone, who would take us to a place where we could catch a fish. Even if it's to an aquarium. Just so it happens.

Did you set the wrong bait?

Nace: No, we've tried every bait in the world.

Bojan: I mean, really, we Googled it, we did everything right in theory, but we really didn't catch more than two seabream, and even they were really the size of this microphone I'm talking into. And a fun-fact, just a quick one, Nace took me to a pond, to go fishing, right, because that's where you catch fish. We got to the pond and the gentleman who manages the pond said…

Jure: Fish farm.

Bojan: I mean, yeah, he said… We said, "Where do we buy a ticket?" and he said "Well, no need, there aren't any fish anyway. You can just go for free." Naturally, we didn't catch a thing.

The interview will proceed a little differently, I'm not the one asking the questions anymore, you'll get a new interviewer. Last week I hosted Slick, a rapper from Velenje, with his album 'Sveža plat' ('Fresh Side'), and he asked you four questions. The first question is:

Slick: If you could collaborate with any musician in the history, who would you choose?

Jan: Well, let's say Vivaldi.

Jure (?): Oh, that's what I was going to say…

Jan: Imagine, you know, he shreds on a violin, I shred on a guitar… brrrrrr…

Bojan: I'd say, from the top of my head, Maček, you. Tell me.

Jure: Oh, I guess The Beatles.

Kris: David Bowie.

Nace: Led Zeppelin. To be fair, I've already got Bonham in the band, I'm getting there I'm getting there.

The second question:

Slick: How often do you tell yourself that you don't have time and is that really the case?

Nace: I mean, I say that to myself every minute, but I don't know if it is true. I mean, we all like to whine a little bit sometimes, don't we.

Kris: Yeah, I say I don't have time a lot, but I know that for certain things, that you want to make time for, you take the time.

Jure: Yeah, I agree with Kris, yeah. But our profession is such, that we're not home on the weekends and when someone asks you if you wanna go to a party, or have a drink, you just say you don't have time, right. So, yeah, we don't have time. That happens a lot.

Bojan: I would say, that if … I'd say I don't have time, I'd be lying at some point. But during the summer I actually didn't have time to even think about whether I had time or not. So I am glad that the summer is over.

Jan: Yeah, sometimes you have to put your feet up, so, sometimes I use that excuse to be able to…

Jure: Lie down.

Jan: To lie down, yeah. I mean, I don't actually have much time, but not to have time at all, well, there's that. And stil.

The third question Slick asks you is who in your family has had the biggest impact on the person you are today?

Jan: Probably my mother and my brother…

Bojan: You can't name more people, hey.

Jan: Oh, just one? I guess, as far as music goes, definitely my brother, because he's also a music producer and he was the one who first introduced me to music, and without him I doubt I would be heading in this direction.

Bojan: I would say my father. He's kind of also the biggest supporter of what's going on in my musical head, and whatever's going on with us and he's actually really, really, really happy with all the success. And even when there's failure, he knows just what to say to calm me down.

Jure: You know what, I've been locked in a cellar, and my dad's always said I was made for a pick and a shovel, so…

Bojan: And he wasn't far from the truth.

Jure: Well, yeah, yeah, parents, naturally, right. That's it.

Bojan: Why parents, you have to choose one person…

Jure: Well I can't choose one.

Bojan: How come?

Jue: I can't.

Bojan: Come on.

Jure: They come together.

Bojan: Break someone's heart, won't you?

Jure: Yeah, then I'll say my sister.

Bojan: Here, good one.

Kris?

Kris: For me, I would think it would be quite hard to tell, who has influenced my musical career the most, right, but it is definitely going to be my dad, who was the first who put a guitar in my hands when I wished for one.

Nace: For me, in music, it's must be my cousin, right, because we essentially grew up as brothers. and he brought the guitar to our house, and that's what made me… And he had a band and then I wanted that too, except he's a few years older than me.

And one last question, Did you eat cheese?

Nace: I did.

Kris: I did.

Jure: Yes, I like it very much.

Bojan: I love cheese, too.

Jan: Yes, I've eaten it many times.

Then afterwards you have the same task, so you can start thinking about it, each of you will ask one question to the next guest.

'NGVOT'

The second to last one we're going to play today will be 'Ne govoriva več o tem'. also known as 'NGVOT'.

Kris: More specifically Ngvot. We have chosen that title because, I think that when I first brought the song to the rehearsals in 2018, I already had it spelled out that way. And then, when we wrote it on the setlists it was always 'NGVOT', because it's just too many words, to cram them all into one setlist. But, what's the story behind this song? Because it's a bit different in atmosphere and maybe more naive than the rest of the album. It's a song, as I said, that was made in 2018 and which we kind of, we never really liked it very, very much, but we played it because we needed to be fill our setlist. And then, fortunately or unfortunately for us, it really clicked for us in the concerts, our fans really took to it as one of their songs, and they sang along beautifully at concerts and we basically couldn't imagine doing the second album without the song. So, then we got creative, and we adapted it a little bit into a form that fit us, that was very different from what we played before the album came out. But actually, it fits very nicely now, I think, right. It comes in handy.

Joker Out, to round up this conversation, I see you have very busy days what challenges lie ahead, besides Stožice next year? It's just around the corner.

Jan: We have quite a few plans for the future, which… I don't know if I'd give them away yet, no. But it's… Maybe, at this point it looks like we're going to Hamburg to record the English versions of our songs. That's also a partial answer to the previous question, for Kris, or for anybody, why Serbian and not English. English is coming too.

Bojan: So, that we can join those bands, that go to English and then go back to Slovenian really quickly.

I see you still have CDs as a sound medium? Is that it?

Jure: Yes, and we have a LPs as well. They sell out even faster than CDs, actually, I think. They've made a comeback recently. It seems to me that you have to have this product. When you release an album you have to feel the CD in your hand to say OK, now we've got this.

Bojan: I am absolutely thrilled. I thought we were selling tea coasters all along. Bear coasters, you know?

But you don't sell ID cards.

Kris: Yeah, here we go. Yeah, buy our CD or LP.

Everything about how to get the LP on the website?

Kris: Absolutely, our website is the best guide sign you'll ever see, It's all clearly visible on it, come and have a look.

Bojan: www.allyourneedsunderoneroof.com

And there's a mention of Joker Out somewhere.

Kris:Yeah.

Bojan: Yeah, somewhere at the bottom.

Kris: In sidenotes, right.

Bojan: Yeah, yeah.

You mentioned earlier that there's going to be more singles from the album, not just the two that are already released?

Nace: I think there will be, right. It's just a question of when. Well, 'Demoni' have arrived on Halloween, and now to the next step.

Kris: Yeah, so, well, what should I say...

Jure: Something else might be released, live from Križanke.

Kris: I'm sure there'll be some more live footage, but for now we've got a couple of songs coming out as singles. For me, maybe, I'm not saying it's going to be a single, but I feel 'Ne bi smel' is very much singlelike, the second song on the album. And maybe the others should share which one they see as a single.

Nace: I mean, I also see 'Ona' as a single, right. Definitely. If nothing else, when we play it live, it's it for me. It could be.

Bojan: Honestly, I'll say it like this. Let's give it time, but I think, sooner or later, every single one of these songs is gonna have its singlelike moment. So, keep your eyes open for the videos, the video material, let's not restrict ourselves, you can also find on our website a couple of nice pieces of furniture or home accessories, so you're welcome to visit.

And then in a few more sleeps, it will be the 6th of October 2023.

Jure: Yeah, that'll be quick.

Bojan: What happens then?

Jure: Yeah, Stožice, right. That's it, quick, get the tickets, because they're going to be sold out. I don't know, I feel like we can't wait. Although, we've been waiting six months for Križanke, and it's been pretty exhausting. Now we have to wait a year, so it's only going to get more exhausting.

Bojan: Yeah. Well, the problem with Stožice is, is that truthfully they're so surreal, that, I mean, I really remember the first time we ever set foot in Stožice, when we played at Ritem mladosti (Rhythm of Youth), as an opening band at 7pm, and we said, "Wow, hey, can you imagine everyone coming here because of you, can you?" And now, like three or four years later it's going to happen and it doesn't feel real yet.

'Novi val'

I think we tie this to the last track 'Novi val'.

Bojan: 'Novi val' is one very, very special song for me, because it emerged, from one, how should I say, direct impulse from nature and that was when the fires broke out in the Karst. That's when this phrase came, "Where shall we go from here if we are already setting the horizon ablaze?" and the song was built around that. We kind of felt, that there was a generation, a few generations younger, and maybe a couple of generations older than us, entagled in it, in this preconception that maybe we don't know quite what to do with ourselves or that we are not a good enough contrib… What do you call it, a contribuator to society? I've just made up a word for that. Basically, this song is a bit like I would say an expression of any young person at the moment, who knows that they matter, who knows that their voice counts. and who wants a better tomorrow.

'Novi val' to wrap up this conversation, Jan, Bojan, Jure, Kris and Nace, thank you, for being guests on Radioaktivno and may you be successful and hard-working on your journey. And see you again in a year with the new album?

Bojan: Absolutely, thank you very much for having us, we had a great time last year as well, we remember that interview as a nice one, next year we don't know if there will be an album, but we'll be fresh out of Stožice, really.

Jan: Yeah, thanks for the invitation, we'd love to come again. I agree with what Bojan said.

Jure: I wish everybody a good night, right.

Kris: Good night everyone, the third album may not be next year, but I'm sure there'll be a lot of things to listen to and see.

Jure: But it will be the next one.

Kris: It will be the next one.

Nace: Same from me, right, see you in Stožice. I'm Nace. Still, something like that.

All: We're Joker Out,

Bojan: and you're listening to Radioaktivno.

[j-restlessgeek]

Hiii :3

Your cat!Jure ask made think and now I'm having so many Thoughts™ sooooo, imagine this:

Bojan is a doghuman (a golden retriever puppy if you may) the same way you said Jure was a cathuman. They both have some dog/cat features even in their human forms, but they can hide it really well unless there's some really strong emotions that make them pop up, and they can turn into their full animal form whenever they want.

Even if they're very good at hiding their animal features, it still takes a bit of energy and concentration to do so, so when it's just them and the boys (who are probably the only ones who know about it), they can finally fully relax and let their ears and tails pop up.

And you just can't tell me Bojan's tail wouldn't be wagging all the time from how happy he is. I can see they guys teasing him about it all the time, like when he gets mad for whatever reason and they apologize to him and give him so head scratches; he pretends to still be mad about it and he goes "you're not going to get me to forgive you just with some pets 😠" "you sure, pup? you're tail is wagging like crazy 😏" "oh shut UP"

(He also gets the zoomies from time to time of course agsjsbsj)

I think they would both LOVE turning into their animal forms to cuddle and take a little nap together. They all find it so funny that Bojan is somehow bigger than Jure when he's a dog, but despite the teasing, Jure loves getting to cuddle with him and it makes him feel so warm and safe. And he knows Bojan will always have his little 5pm nap, so cuddles will always be assured :3.

Whenever they meet up at Jan's, Jure will turn into a cat more than half the time to play with Igor and catch up with him. Igor tells him a lot of stuff - he's actually a really interesting cat, Janči - and then Jure can tell the guys what he said.

That's also why it took Igor a little more time warm up to Bojan because, even in his human form, he still smells like a dog (it's not perceptible to the human senses, but it is to the cat's), but he does eventually and they now all get along pretty well and he joins the cuddles during nap time sometimes 🥰.

I like to think Bojan was one of the first people to meet Pino when Nace brought him home and they immediately warmed up to each other. Sometimes Nace takes both of them on a walk so they can have some quality time together as well, and when they get back home Bojan returns to his human form and tells Nace all the good things Pino says about him – and Nace has probably cried a few times hearing just how much his beautiful puppy loves him 🥹💕

Also, they would definitely love going on little adventures with the band, going on a hike and being surrounded by nature so they can run around freely and have fun together (even more if Igor and Pino join them as well of course). The rest of the guys would have to keep an eye on them so they don't get lost or hurt themselves, but it's definitely worth it to see how much fun they have together <3

(wow you really got my mind going crazy omg 🫣)

Omg omg MAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCAAAAAAA

AaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Omg omg omg omg, dog bojan 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹awwwwwwwwwwwwww omg the idea of Bojan trying to look angry but his traitorous tail is wagging behind him 😂😂😂😂😂😂.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Omg this is sooooo freaking cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute, omg jure and bojan being Igor and Pino's translators 😭😭😭😭😭 thats so sweet 💛💛💛💛💛💛.

Awwwwwwwwww jure cuddling close to sleeping Bojan, snuggling into the long soft fur, maybe he even purrs. 👀👀👀😻😻😻😻😻

The question is if Nace or one of the others would throw a ball, would Bojan go fetch it? 👀👀👀👀👀👀

💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

[sparkly-skies]

Well. For the first time, I hit the character limit while writing an ao3 comment, so in this spirit, I would like to recommend Crime Scene: Ljubljana by @consumingmen to all of you Joker Out fans and especially the JO x Spatort people. the world building and the slooooow revealing of the backstory and allt he foreshadowing and hinting and how much you get to think and try to put together what happened is just *supreme chef's kiss*.

It's a Spatort AU so Kris and Bojan (and Jan and Jure, and Nace) as cops, with Kris having disappeared over night like 15 years ago and suddenly returning to Ljubljana as Bojan's (and Jan and Jure's) colleague. They investigate a series of murders together and it's clear that they know more than they should and let on to their colleagues and bosses, and you slowly discover their backstory and what they were involved in.

(Also yes, Spatort is copaganda however. Both in Spatort and especially in this fic, they are just so supremely shit at their job that... well actually, that you get more angry at what police can do and just get to walk away with without consequences. fuck Kris and also Bojan in this. Fuck Adam "mocking and yelling at suspects" Schürk and Leo "recognises heroin by its taste" Hölzer too. get therapy and a job far away from any power over anyone else.)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/62668087/chapters/160425007 the clickedy link's not working, sorry

@consumingmen

jesus fuck can someone please reblog and tag @consumingmen because tumblr won't let me do it!

[madrabit]

May I request C, U and M for the fanfic ask game? 😎

C: What member do you identify with most?

Ohhh, this is simultaneously hard to say and the easiest thing in the world, but I do identify the most with Jan. We both have that black cat chaos energy and we both are cat parents 🐈‍⬛🐈, so I'm obviously more inclined to feel similar to him from the get go.

I've also been described as mysterious and confused (less mysterious, more confused), so I feel like that might fit. And we're both kinda sleepy and have a resting 😐🤨 face. I call it lovingly "resting blank face".

Also, I, too, cannot help but want to film Bojan whenever I can or stare at Nace...

U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

Ngl, this is a hard pick, so I'll just mention a few ppl I like the writing style and fic of! 🩷

This will be more than three ppl cause I couldn't decide and in no particular order!!

@sizzlingsheepcheesecake // ao3

Does someone want to read some Bo(Jan)²? Well, you're at the right address! Her fics are so good and capture you with their emotional roller coaster they're taking you on! Her writing style is also really nice and pleasant to read 😊✨️

I particularly like her fic Come play with your food, bejbi which is an absolute fluffy vampire Bo(Jan)² fic that has me kicking my feet with how adorable it is. There also are some Bonus bites to this one!

And her poly BoJanKris fic Distortion can leave you happy in one moment and make you cry in another!

She also has a vampire BoKris fic The thrill and the dark, of the hunt and your eyes in which both Bojan and Kris are vampires, it is also really good and definitely worth a read if you haven't yet! And she has so many more fics as well!

@seokoilua // 1236 on ao3

I absolutely adore her writing style. The way she's able to take suffering and resolve it in all the good smut? Yes, definitely one of my favs. I especially like her fic been deprived and the sequel quietly, so if you like angst in your smut, her fics are definitely your thing then!

She also has a vampire BoKris fic ravenous in which vampire Kris picks up Bojan in a club and ngl, I need the second chapter like yesterday 😂

@vampmilf // @fruitybashir on ao3

Sophie has a really, really nice writing style, and I enjoy his Ne Bi Smel verse starting with The Holidate so much! It's so sweet and the smut is so hot and good and spicey and hahsjjskdjdkfkf for a long time having something nice to read every Sunday was just perfect to end the week with! He mainly writes BoKris (also, give Dopamin a read, the way he writes overstimulated Bojan is just so sjjdndndndnndnfmfm so good), but there is also a nice focus on Jance, that I really enjoy :3

I also absolutely love following him and seeing him on my dash, cause every time he reblogs something unhinged about Bojan I just have to giggle and laugh (calling Bojan three blueberries tall is literally everything to me and I love it so much, also letting him be his slutty little self in fics? Yessssss). He's also such an incredible nice person and was very sweet when I met him! 💖

@da-proti-toku-grem // ao3

Maca writes these absolutely adorable Kiss prompts here on tumblr and on ao3. From Jance to BoJure and JureJan, she's got so many ships and all of them are so good and fluffy and adorable or spicy! I really enjoy all of them! And she's made me have an incredibly big soft spot for BoJure :3 💛🩷

An honourable mention goes to @185northgower // ao3

Not only will I read literally everything she writes no matter what pairing or what fandom, but we share one exact braincell, which works perfectly cause we do love collabing on fics together and I couldn't imagine a better co author! 🥹🩷✨️

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

I actually have a few ideas I've been cooking, a few of them are gonna be joined collabs with North! Next to continuing our DJwD verse (yes, there will be more, these men won't stop and have infected our heads with Daddy Nace and I just cannot, I cannot anymore), we also planned a Romeo & Juliet 🌹 fic, which we won't go into detail yet, since we can't start it yet 🤭

Then I also have a Bo(Jan)² fic started, its the same one I mentioned last time, the one with the skirt, but I cannot shut up about it. I keep calling it the ✨️girlfriend thing✨️ if that helps anyone...

And next to those and continuing with my other fics, I also can't get a vampire Bo(Jan)² fic out of my mind...