#both because she looks badass with one and also because how fucked up would it be for her to carry around the sword that killed her mom

[quietwingsinthesky]

claire should get to keep the grigori sword

[waestlandbaby]

Something that stood out to me in my aftg reread was how unhinged the upperclassmen actually are.

Matt fucking Boyd and his willingness to absolutely go at anyone, anywhere, any time. There's a scene where Kevin tells him to foul another player on the opposing team and Neil specifically points out the unrepentant grin he has on his face as he waltzes off court after it happens. He also is described as the best player on the foxes line up multiple times by Neil and his play style is aggressive, he uses his height and build to his advantage and he doesn't hold back.

Allison and Andrew have the exact same style of serving cunt, in that if you don't interest them they will not even acknowledge your existence. A player from another team attempted to score on the goal and both Allison and Andrew stood still and watched them miss with such bitchy indifference it probably gave that player ptsd. They also both have a habit of cutting through bullshit and demanding truth ESPECIALLY regarding topics other people would shy away from. Badass blonde bombshells.

Dan Wilds is just as rabid about Exy as Kevin and her every first thought goes to the game first just like Kevin. She's just better at making her second thought go to something else. She literally knew the second Seth was out of the picture that there was an opportunity there and she didn't even really hesitate to talk to Matt about it. She looked at Neil and whatever fucked up little thing he had going on with Andrew (as it would have looked to an outsider, let's remember that they all knew Andrew took him to Columbia and drugged him) and was like, how can we use this to make the team stronger. Like Nicky used Neil to manipulate Andrew but Dan did it better and with much more calculation.

Renee I don't even really need to talk about because Neil was always wary of her but there is one scene where Neil let's slip about his father's penchant for knives and Renee's reaction and understanding gave me chills. Renee uses that part of her to protect and that's really great because she would be terrifying otherwise.

[hazbinwhoree]

General Adam Headcanons

SFW

100% dresses like Adam Sandler under the robe

Pronounces bruh like “brah” unironically

Has a high body count, but not as high as you’d expect

He has abandonment issues cause of Lilith and Eve

He’d never admit it but losing both Lilith and Eve to Lucifer really fucked him up

Lilith left him for Lucifer, and Eve cheated on him with Lucifer

Due to knowing the pain of being cheated on, he will never cheat despite the fuckboy persona

Man can actually settle down with the right person

Wears his mask all the fucking time, he only takes it off to sleep

He thinks it makes him look badass and his favorite feature is the horns

He’s tall as fuck (6’5) but he’s kind of thin, so he wears a big ass robe to make up for it

You can only tell by his arms

He likes to appear big

His favorite thing about himself is his dick (surprise)

Listens to heavy metal

Can’t cook for shit

Needs therapy but will never accept therapy

Doesn’t realize how misogynistic he is and if you tried to tell him he would get defensive

“What, I fucking love women, they’re hot.”

Says “nuh uh”

Cried in front of Lute once– they never talk about it

Shockingly, he doesn’t have any STD’s and he’s very proud of that

Sees Lute as a best friend but he’d never let her know she means that much to him

Has a colorful vocabulary of cuss words and unique nicknames, ie “Danger Tits”

Is really good at coming up with unique insults too

Never get into banter with him, he will hurt your feelings

Sleeps like a rock but moves a lot in his sleep

Seriously, he’ll hit every position in one night

His band is actually really popular in Heaven, and he’s renowned for being the best guitarist

Of course, that only strokes his ego

Ego bigger than his dick, for real

But if you can get past his ego, he can be fun to be around

Touch starved

Cares for very few people, but he would die for the people he does care about

NSFW

Absolutely has a size kink

He’s tall and he loves to be able to look down at his partner

It makes him feel powerful, but he also finds it cute

Has tried every sex position possible but his favorite is missionary

Rarely does he do missionary however because he only likes it with someone he cares about

Phenomal at giving head

He has a long tongue and he knows his way around a vagina

Actually has a big dick, he’s not kidding

Like no wonder he walks around like he’s a god

Also has a virginity kink and it’s definately related to his abandonment issues but he’ll never address that

Whenever he has sex, he always goes for a round 2 in the shower

Actually hates being called things like “daddy” and “master”

While he has some kinks, he’s actually not a very kinky guy

But he’s down to try anything

Has been pegged, doesn’t prefer it

His third and final kink is a breeding kink

He has no idea why but its imperative that he finishes inside his partner

Messy, loves being feral in the bedroom

The kind of guy who’s gone right after a hookup

But if he has a partner, he insists on cuddling after sex

Perfers tits over ass

Will bury his face in his partner’s while they cuddle

One time he came from looking at himself in a mirror during a hookup

Eye contact goes crazy with a partner

Needs to see partner’s every reaction and expression

Also needs control the whole time

Will never sub again, he hated it

[fluideli123]

I've watched the DP&W movie twice in theaters and three plus times on a pirated site, and I wanted to grant my analysis on Wade and Logan's relationship that not only respects Vanessa--because Vanessa was literally Wade's Soulmate until shit hit the fan and you can pry that fact from my cold dead hands. But also explains how Logan and Wade actually represent a a-spec experience and relationship that I feel like no one has really gotten into. Am I saying they're a-spec? No. But that doesn't mean queer relationships that are fairly normal in a-spec spaces doesn't mean they don't exist outside of them as well.

First of all, the only two reasons I believe Vanessa and Wade broke up was 1) Wade went back in time to save Vanessa and he told her after his usual routine of jokes and lies and 2) Wade finally believed he could be something more, a hero, only to be turned down by the people who are known for their heroism, leaving him lost.

I genuinely believe Vanessa had a hard time taking in that knowledge, but knowing Wade and everything they've been through she would get through that like the badass she is and work through it using her plans A-Z, as she always does. But I think to really stop that woman from continuing to start a family with Wade like she wanted to in Deadpool 2, is if Wade was no longer within the right mindset to do so.

Deadpool 1 introduced Wade as someone who believed he was a bad guy who got paid to fuck up worse guys, he refused the term hero, and the moment he even tried to reach for something selfless. An act that would hopefully spare Vanessa from the pain of cancer, it all got fucked up and he got turned into a monster. Someone he deemed even lesser than he was before. So far gone and completely removed from what he was loved for (his looks and personality, but how could his personality stand alone when he looked so ugly? As ugly as he always felt on the inside?)

So he turned to what he's always known: Tracking people down and making them pay. In his mind this only confirms that he's a monster, he isn't deserving of Vanessa, of anyone. Which is why he finds comfort in Blind Al, a woman who will only have to deal with his personality and not be able to see how ugly he actually is. Symbolism for showing only half of himself and not him in his entirety (not that he can hide it from her, she's too wise, knowledgeable, caring, and knows Wade better than he knows himself at this point.)

Eventually, he finishes his hunt and is still loved despite what had transpired. Vanessa still chose him, still loved him. So maybe despite how ugly he is, he can still be loved. This grounded him, solidified his self worth, have him such stability that he had a thriving relationship with Vanessa that they were SO ready to start a family, aspired to live that dream. Another act of selfishness. Only to, once again, be met by pain. Get his dream taken away, once again resorting to what he knows: revenge.

Wade wants to be a hero? He gets forcefully mutated. Wade wants a family? Vanessa gets killed. Both are immediately solved by death, but that self-loathing and sickening hatred towards himself do nothing to cure that same confirmation he had once thought he got over: That he wasn't a monster, he could be loved, be something else.

So of course Vanessa is who, even in death, looks him in the eyes and tells him he cares, he has always cared. He cares so deeply about the people in his life he meets who unconditionally love him for him as time passes, despite all his flaws.

Wade wants to be a hero? Colossus believes he can be. Wade wants to save the 13-year-old abused kid? Vanessa knows he can. He saves lives by sacrificing himself. He scarified his comfort to show Vanessa the full truth of his ugliness, he sacrificed his life for Russel to give him a better life. Maybe he isn't a complete monster, maybe he can believe again. He can be selfish, he can be reckless. So he goes back and saves more people. Heroes do that. They save the people they love. You don't hold the whole world on your shoulders, no, like Miles learned in ATSV you think of one person of the few people you want to fight against the world to protect. And he did just that.

With Vanessa back and a big family he can finally chase after what he wasn't meant for. Because it's only happened twice, it wouldn't happen again-

Rejection. He can't be a hero because people don't need him. He is the needy one, the one who wants to be needed, needs to be wanted. So, it's the crash. The final straw. He breaks. He breaks so hard because what the fuck is the point to trying if every time he is met with failure? Rejection? Pain? Loss? He becomes so stuck in figuring this all out he neglects his relationship with Vanessa, causing issues. They go separate ways, but still so close, because you don't just lose your best friend like that, even if you're no longer partners. They're always meant to be together one way or another.

So you have this broken man who is searching for purpose, years later still harboring this tiny flicker of hope that he can be greater. He can be great. He can be a hero.

His world is in trouble, he doesn't think twice saving it. He accepts he isn't perfect for this, not like all the big guys back in Avengers headquarters, but he can't let his loved ones die because of someone he's had a vendetta against the last two movies.

He literally fights and fights and fights to find someone to help him, Wade can't save who he loves he has to find someone else you can, anyone else.

Than a broken, desperate man walks into a bar to see another broken man who has since long given up.

The thing about Logan and Wade is that they don't need words. Wade blew himself up in order to die in the second movie, Logan drinks himself away, both knowing they can't die no matter how much they want to. How much they believe they deserve it.

So Wade sees a Wolverine who has potential, who hasn't hurt him (unlike the others, he gets hurt so much, guys) and places his faith in him without hesitation. From that moment on he has never truly doubted Logan's abilities nor his heroism, because he knew his Logan and if his world was anchored by a Logan than all Logan's are built with something he isn't. They're made to be heroes, made to be important. Yeah, they fight, but I strongly believe that's how two broken men say everything words can't possibly describe.

I mean what words could describe the way they go all out on each other, knowing the other can't die, the way Wade looks up at him, not wanting to regrow his entire body because he needs to save his world and understands Logan and has to decide to say something that'll convince him to help. Wade doesn't know if stopping the machine will completely save his world or if a new Logan will patch it up too, it's his own educated wish he passes onto Logan. Because just like Russel, he cares. He understands. He wants to help.

It's that faith, hope, and resistance and face of humor despite it all that causes Logan to stick by that dumb asses side. He lost everything, he is seeing someone like himself before he stumbled home drunk from the bar to find everyone dead. Someone who is capable of doing something he wasn't able to. He wants to help, more and more for Wade and less himself, a silent journey of healing following Wades steps everywhere they stumble into.

Because Logan was just drunk at a bar before being told he was needed to save a world, told he was the worst before being offered help anyone, getting praised over his capabilities, and than told again and again how he is able to be someone he never thought he could be. Much like Wade was and is.

Logan sees it. Wade most likely ignores it, much like anything else. He isn't very open with anyone other than Vanessa as we've learned.

So just- of course Wolverine is the honest one, of course he hits low, he sees himself and Wade and wants to hurt him. Wade wants to hurt him back, but only when he's directly attacked by his words and threats, a way of not taking shit. Logan took shit from the world and than didn't from Wade and his emotional rollercoster right. And I think without whatever happened in that Honda Odyssey things wouldn't have been the same. They needed that fight, that release, that hatred from themselves to burst into the form of someone else who could take it just as much as the other could.

Logan listens to Wade's home at the borderlands. Logan is given kindness and tough love. Logan joins. Logan begins to understand how most linger by Wade's side despite everything. He sees why. He's a force, he doesn't give up, he doesn't quit, not for others. It grants strength, though imperfect and messy.

Logan believes Wade deserves better. So he plans on sacrificing himself only for Wade to once again show how much of a Hero he wants to be and could be. Only for those two idiots to hold hands to madona and come to a mutual understanding and comfort that has Wade making room for Logan in his and Al's apartment.

And there is something so inherently a-spec about not being explicitly sexual with each other, having an understanding that goes beyond direct words and full truths. They they can hurt one another and it feels so good, so wanted and cherished. How they support one another by being fucked up and sloppy. They're wrecks and they help the other heal, do what they're too afraid to do.

What is more a-spec than two people looking at each other with adoration and trust? To be two people who cannot be placed within a single both because their relationship and meaning to one another isn't so neatly cut and within expectations? To love in a way that blood and standing side by side is a comfort? A steadying point in which everything becomes clearer with time?

They make me so fucking sick, they make me so FUCKING SICK.

[gaywineauntsstuff]

I just saw someone say that Tim was the only member of the batfamily who didn’t suck at math.

With the exception of Dick (acrobatics) and Cass (body language) none of the Batkids are THAT much better than the others at a certain skill

Yes Jason is a better shot

Yes Tim is a better detective

And on a technical level they’re much better

Sure

But that means that if they have a 0.001% chance of cracking a case or making a shot. There will be a noticeable difference between Tim being the character or say Damian.

Otherwise

Not particularly.

Think of each skill like a normally distributed curve okay with the mean being your average hero/olympian/hacker/genius

Right

The Batkids will be at the 96th percentile in the skill

With the exception of 1 of them being at the 99th percentile range

Unless you are writing something you can comfortably say is complex/difficult enough to warrant drawing attention to the 3% difference. It’s annoying to bring it up

I exclude Dick and Cass

Because Dicks introduction is the fact he can do something the rest of the kids can’t to the point where it’s an identifier within his own story. It’s how Tim found him, a signature only he can do.

And Cass because she is genuinely cartoonishly cracked in her own storyline and in batfamily stuff she’s borderline a mind reader

(Could also argue Jason for supernatural stuff and the all blades)

These are exceptions because yeah

If you told me Jason, Dick or Steph cracked a difficult case in a run I wouldn’t treat it as shocking information

If you told me Tim, Dick or Damian managed a tricky shot with a firearm in a dire situation (like what happens in the Grayson run) it would be interesting, surprising but like not? Shocking?

If you told me that Jason did a quadruple summersault off a building and landed on his feet I’d be confused as shit

And even WITH Dick and Cass the other kids are still FREAKISHLY good at D&Cs special skills but they both have unignorable signatures

This is a very long winded way of saying when an author simplifies a character down to

“Oh look nice flippy one”

“Smart one”

“Angry gun one”

“Pet collector”

It’s annoying because you basically ignore all the interesting overlap

Like guess what Dick literally has a habit of collecting strays (see the rabbit and 3 legged dog he lives with in his apartment in the new run)

Tim is fucking badass and is very good at dealing with explosives

Damian is canonically currently thinking of leaving the family business and no longer being a hero to maybe focus on helping people in other ways

Jason occasionally works with magic and demon bullshit

And every single one of them is a genius okay literally every single one of them could get a masters in physics, chem, bio and history in like 2 weeks flat.

Their stats are stacked

All of them know enough info to be able to do 99% of a task and yeah someone might call Tim or Dick in for detective help or Jason for muscle and restraining backup but in 99% of cases THE OTHER CHARACTERS SHOULD BE EQUALLY competent

[lotusarchon]

been rereading svsss soooo combining my current hyperfixations here

everytime there's a reader isekai au it's always them loving the universe they've transmigrated into but what about a reader who's a borderline HATER (me) of black myth wukong or lego monkie kid

(tdlr: this does not represent how i feel about either video game and show, because i like them both, the fandoms are just...eh...but i do think it'll be funny lmfao)

i'm talking a full time hater. they've read jttw and fssy and of COURSE they love those books, they're a huge myth nerd.

then they take one fucking look at the adaptions inspired by them and immediately go "oh fuck no"

a reader who DESPISES lmk's portrayal of sun wukong because what the fuck do you mean he's not a buddhist after his journey? what do you mean he didn't kick the jade emperor's ass and fucking isn't badass and cool? what the fuck do you mean the six eared macaque is his 'best friend' and people SHIP them?? what do you mean no one likes tripitaka and apparently the three other pilgrims were reincarnated when that isn't factually correct??

a reader who positively despises the plot line in lmk because WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN NEZHA'S DEMOTED TO SOME CANON FODDER WHEN HE SHOULD BE BADASS?? or...or AZURE LION BEATING THE JADE EMPEROR?? WHO THE FUCK EVEN IS THE BROTHERHOOD EWWW!? what do you mean this dragon girl has the samadhi fire ew ew ewww what is this plot...

reader who fights with fans because of their (barf) mindset and also shut?? up?? about nezha being a 12 year old?? gross ass??

reader who watches the show religiously but only to find every flaw in it and when people argue about the show being a children's only audience they fight back with "idgaf if it's for kids they should teach it properly dumb fucking cunts gtfo my dms before i doxx you"

same thing with black myth wukong tbh. reader who hates black myth wukong because...no...no, sun wukong most certainly wouldn't do that. graphics are fine whatever but but this is?? inaccurate??

reader who's tearing into fanboys too because shut the fuck up about this character pingping bring sexy and also why the fuck does she exist?? why is red son not actually pif's son?? why is there some fucking random monkey tryna collect those whatchamacallit (relics) NO THIS IS WRONG

reader who's gagging cause...sun wukong wasn't in love with nobody and why is there a brief fucking romance plotline with the monkey 2.0 wasn't this a fighting game ewew get it AWAAAAY

reader who hates and then...uh oh. too much dumplings is making them choke....guys...guys i think they're dying??

reader who wakes up in bmw or lmk as some... rabbit spirit? (so weird) but absolutely SEETHING at being here because oh fuck this bitch ass god awful plot suck my cock we are NOT DOING THIS

reader deciding that avoiding the obnoxious characters would definitely be better for their sanity....only for some blasted loud ass obnoxious stupid cunt fucking google translated voice pings in their head... telling them if they don't participate in the plot they'll be executed

reader thinking they'd rather die but then the system goes "oh, you thought we were joking?" and gives them the worst experience ever that by the end of it they have to swallow their pride and participate in the plot....☹️ Unfortunately

reader who accidentally wifes up the characters and has to deal with everyone forgetting their roles...and the system threatening them about the plot too like bro how is this my fault these bitches are dumb? fuck you mean you're gonna kill me ag- no, no, you're right uh i'll fix it i'll fix it.

Anyways I'm gonna write a fanfic with an OC like this cause it's too funny to pass up and also I'm 100% gonna die with my wipes hahahaha fuck..

[alicentral]

This is a response to a hotd critical post about the "favouritism towards Greens in screen time ratio", and I think it's so interesting how team black also feel like they're being fucked over by the showrunners when, to me, it's blindingly obvious that it's the other way round.

Not only are the show runners villainising the greens, not the blacks, they've also gone out of their way to make the blacks seem like the badass heroes who can do no wrong, and this is the root of the problem for both team black and team green. It oversimplifies the dance and goes against the themes and message of the whole book, rendering the characters either inconsistent, one-dimensional, and worst of all, flat and boring.

Lets start off with the greens. The argument that the showrunners are "gagging on the greens" doesn't hold up when we actually think about it for more than 2 seconds.

With the source material of hotd being a fictional history book with different biases and perspectives (emphasis on different perspectives), the showrunners have cherry picked what to adapt, and have chosen to take the worst of the greens as the objective truth and erase their good moments as "green propaganda". The main example that comes to mind is aegon. Plenty of other people have talked about this in depth before, but in f&b, aegon raping a girl was a rumour spread by mushroom, a narrator with a clear black bias who wasn't even in kings landing at the time. There was no reason in adapting this rumour other than to demonise aegon, and by extension, team green. The way the scene is framed, it is clear that it was never about dyana, how the rape affected her mentally, emotionally, socially, physically. For a supposedly feminist show, dyana's rape was a throwaway scene, it never had any impact on the story further. So what was the point of the scene other than to tell the audience "look at what a monster aegon is. How can you support someone like that?" And it works.

You can see on social media, any time there's something vaguely positive about the greens, you have hoards of people comment "yeah but he's a rapist" "how can you support a rapist?", etc. It forces you to side with team black. Later in the show, the audience gets to know that aegon's dick burst "like a sausage". Why would the audience need to know this? Aegon's mutilated dick is presented as "karma" for dyana and is only meant to humiliate him. And again, after this revelation, so many people on social media were making fun of his "burnt sausage". They've made a laughingstock of aegon, and as the figurehead of team green, it's clear that we're not meant to side with team green.

Furthermore, in bastardising, and sometimes, even completely erasing the relationships between team green, the showrunners have dehumanised them and made them irredeemable villains, because, again, we were never meant to side with those who "usurped the rightful queen".

The loyalty and commitment the greens had to one another made them such compelling characters and heavily shaped their central motivations and actions. Aegon only took the crown to protect his family. Aemond, after rooks rest, never called himself a king, only lord protecter even though he knows he would've made a better king than aegon. Daeron torched the riverlands to get to his mother and sister and sacked bitterbridge as revenge for his nephew. Helaena offered up her life for her son, and chose to sacrifice maelor because she knew he wouldn't understand what was happening. Their actions may not be necessarily good (and in daeron's case, actually happen to be war crimes), and their motivations may be morally grey, but they're understandable, they're sympathetic, seeing as it was out of love and loyalty, something that 21st century society can relate to. Without these complex and compelling ties, the audience is left asking why would the greens stick together if they all seemingly can't stand each other? Why fight for aegon if he doesn't even seem to care for them? What was the point in having the crown then? As a result, the characterisations feel one-dimensional (helaena being reduced to being just an "innocent" amidst her bloodthirsty family) or inconsistent (alicent. just her entire story arc. it could've been interesting if done right, but alas, no such luck), or rushed (suddenly aemond wants to be king in his own right after defending his brother's claim at storms end).

This isn't to say that team green are perfect, far from it, but the close emotional ties and relationships could've been used to elevate the internal conflicts in the show. We could've had complex characters who aren't necessarily good, but they're family and they stick together despite their personal grievances.

And this isn't even mentioning their bonds with their dragons. Where was vhagar roaring when aemond's eye was cut out? Aegon and sunfyre had the closest bond between dragon and human and that was given to rhaenyra in the show and where is dreamfyre?

One last thing on the greens, they are presented as incompetent and not equipped to rule, which is meant to show how it would be oh so much better if rhaenyra was on the throne. Criston parading meleys' head is framed as stupid as meleys was "a beloved dragon", ignoring the fact that she murdered hundreds of smallfolk at the coronation. Alicent is presented as stupid for thinking that after rooks rest, the small council would appoint her the queen, aegon in the small council was meant to be laughed at. Of course, this begs the question, if the greens were meant to be a mess of a faction with only 3 functioning dragons and now 2 effective dragon riders, how did they hold out against the blacks for so long? It's clear that the showrunners haven't thought this through.

So yeah, i don't really understand what this person was trying to say when they say that the showrunners are "gagging on the greens" when they are demonised, humiliated and stripped of compassion. I would like to say here, nothing i've said about the greens here is new to team green fans, and so many more people have gone into more depth about this.

Lets move onto the blacks. In a conflict where no side was meant to be in the right (who has the right to rule is a beast for another day), where there were no winners, only losers, where a dynastic dispute almost tore down the entire aforementioned dynasty, the blacks are framed as the heroes, the side the audience should root for. If they come off as villainised to the audience, i don't think it was done on purpose.

Opposite to the greens, they're mistakes and flaws are glossed over. I think this is the main reason why team black falls flat as opposed to lack of screen time, which i don't really want to count.

An important example of this is blood and cheese. In f&b, blood and cheese was a horrific event which drove queen helaena mad and, importantly, was meant to murder one of aegon and helaena's sons in revenge for lucerys. A son for a son. It was always meant to be jaehaerys. By making blood and cheese all one big mistake in the show, with aemond as the real target and oops, we can't find him so jaehaerys will do, team black and rhaenyra can't be held accountable for the murder of an innocent 6 year old boy. Moreover, the fact that rhaenyra never knew or sanctioned the murder, and it was all daemon going rogue, rhaenyra is even further removed from the horrific murder of a child, because, of course, our heroine can't be responsible for anything bad, she's meant to be the one in the right!

Furthermore, condal and hess try to force the smallfolk's love of rhaenyra during the dance, contrary to the book, which serves to uphold rhaenyra's right to the throne and show how team black are the right side. During the blockade on kings landing, the smallfolk conveniently forget that she's the one causing the blockade when she sends food through (showing that she could've done that at any time). The cheering for rhaenyra and the riot makes no sense, as again, she was the one who caused the blockade in the first place.

The introduction of the prophecy also is only meant to justify any "wrong" rhaenyra and team black do. The death of the dragonseeds and the smallfolk were all in the name of a prophecy so it's ok. And this is the thing which infuriates me the most, because the prophecy could've been a fascinating aspect of team black's motivations if framed right. The idea of committing atrocities in the name of a believed divine, higher purpose could've been used to expand upon team black's character growth and internal conflict vis a vis the knights templar and the crusades. How do they feel about this? Are they even aware of what they're doing? Alas, the show itself buys into the prophecy, buys into the divine purpose and suddenly, the atrocities aren't presented as "that bad" anyways. All of that to say, the show has never intentionally villainised team black.

So we've established that as the heroes, team black can't do anything wrong, and if they do, it's for a higher purpose, so it's alright. Team black's "emotions and conflicts are made secondary" not to "disposable filler scenes of Greens", but to themselves, or rather, to rhaenyra and her right to rule. So many team black scenes were used to uplift rhaenyra to show how she is the rightful queen. The main two examples of this that stick out to me is baela rebuking jace when he rightfully questions rhaenyra's decisions and daemon's whole harrenhal arc, which serves as his redemption and so he can reaffirm his commitment to rhaenyra's right to rule. Of course it's going to be "a bore" if the main characters, the ones we're meant to be cheering haven't got anything going for them except for cheering on rhaenyra.

There's no character interaction, no character growth, no real internal conflict because from the beginning, team black has been presented as in the right and can do no wrong, so there's no room to grow, no room to develop, not because of lack of screen time. When character development almost breaks through (see: jace questioning rhaenyra), it's quickly quashed, because the audience needs to be reminded that rhaenyra is always right. There's a clear good and bad side that the show is trying to force, which doesn't work in this setting because it reinforces the idea of the divine right of kings, the idea that one person, one family is superior to all others, and that person is rhaenyra here. It undermines the idea that no one was in the right for the atrocities they committed. No one can be justified and that fundamentally, these are not good people, they're interesting characters (or could've been interesting characters), but they're not good people.

So why? Why are the blacks presented as the good side and the greens presented as evil? It all comes down to the fact that the showrunners have propagated the idea that the dance is about a woman's struggle to rule in the face of misogyny, rather than the decline of house targaryen due to their belief in targaryen exceptionalism or the consequences of the pursuit of power. Sure, feminism and misogyny is one aspect of the dance, but it's not a major driving factor. The showrunners have backed themselves into a corner here, because they trying to portray the dance through a modern feminist lens, and so they believe that they can't write women being flawed or evil, and so we get the free, liberated good side and the "misogynistic", conservative bad side.

So in conclusion, it is clear that the showrunners aren't villainising the blacks as this person believes, but the greens. In doing this, they've made a clear cut good and bad side which works to the detriment of both team black and team green. It leads team green's characterisation to be inconsistent and one-dimensional and it chokes team black from having character growth.

Listen, i don't know if team black truly have less screen time than team green, but if they do, it's not the reason why team black falls flat.

[vecnaline]

things we lost with stonathan not being canon:

• jon/tommy eventual confrontation and fighting over steve (chester did say he played tommy being in love with him so ...)

• tina's party where steve is like "well i have to step in to help him because jon doesn't know how to party 😌" then jon getting flirted with as soon as he arrives and steve is "😧"

• billy fight (they both get their face bashed in)

• steve giving flirting advice to dustin then applying the same advice to jon (jon just looks at him weirdly)

• THE CAMERA REVEAL

• jon making fun of steve in his scoops ahoy uniform

• robin thinking steve is straight straight because he flirts with the clients until she sees him flirt with jon and then she realizes. jon is still clueless though

• both thinking the other wants nancy, they make each other jealous unintentionally

• drugged ass steve with jon who panics and takes specially good care of him. steve might say something.... or not

• end of s3 awkward goodbye hug, "take care of yourself", all locked in until jon gets in the car and steve goes back home and they both start tearing up

• jon talking so much about steve that argyle is certain he's in love with him

• steve having one hundred dates out of desperation to forget him but dropping everything to accompany mike to california because "he needs a responsible adult"

• mess of cali crew, one million awkward moments, jon expressing his support to will but struggling with his own feelings and how steve would react to it (steve doesn't notice anything at first because he's too busy fawning over jon after being apart for so long, but he realizes something when will cries in the van)

• how could i forget. steve would actually want to skate. STONATHAN SKATE DATE

• jon would also feel a bit more reassured having steve there when he's left in charge (good babysitter!)

• more stonathan taking care of el moments we don't have enough of that

-> alternatively, if steve couldn't go to california:

• steve being so desperate to forget jon that he has that "temporary insanity" moment and tries to conquer nancy again, only to realize much later he's trying to fill the void jon left

• jon not knowing what the hell to do as he wants to stay in cali for college but he misses steve so much he wants him to be there but. how does he even tell him. community college is perfect considering steve's situation but he doesn't know how to invite him and make it casual and cannot ask steve to just drop everything in hawkins

• all of this further convinces argyle that they're boyfriends until one time he refers to steve as "your boyfriend" and jonathan is like ????

• steve almost dying and regretting not telling jon everything

• the infamous eddie scene where he tells steve that nancy loves him and all steve can think is that he would've jumped if that happened to jon, no matter the danger

• jonathan noticing will's feelings and finally admitting his own, only to try to shut them down because he would end up just as heartbroken as his brother

• STONATHAN AWKWARD REUNION!! steve gawking at jon's longer hair and jon shaking with relief at seeing him in one piece and it hits them both that they're so in love even if the other doesn't reciprocate their feelings, and the reunion is so. fucking awkward. but jon steps forward and ends up hugging him. tight hug that is a bit more lingering than the standard bro hug. both are a bit flustered after it

• also no one tell jon about the bats. nevermind dustin told him. jon is in a panic at first but then only feels admiration because damn that was badass

season 5 would be date or die. they either date or die. because the options are dating or dying together

[tammyu-2]

HMMMM can i request 2012mikey dating headcannons 😁😁😁😁

Ask and you will receive

🫡

TMNT 2012 MIKEY DATING HCS

Usage of the pronoun she, one usage of y/n, swearing kinda, Mikey being adorable, nothing else.

Alot of ppl don't write for mickey yet he is the most loved one

You guys met at Mr. murakami's restaurant. You always preferred going to places at night because it was quieter and the scenery was nice.

Mr. Murakami had added these pizza pocket things to the menu, and you had to try it out. As they say, great minds think alike, and Mikey had the same idea. He had been tired of his brothers always eating all the takeout he got, so he decided to sneak out to go get some for himself. He then bumped into you.

The silence that followed after you guys locked eyes was so long that you would have thought you two were mute. Like you are mainly confused. Should you run? Should you be scared? Should you dap him up??

He is sitting here like,'What did Leo say you should do when you get spotted in public?'. He tried to act like a turtle but was unaware of what sounds a normal turtle makes because they are mainly quiet. So he stuck with:

"Turtle turtle"

"What the actual fuck-"

It was safe to say that it was a confusing start. You both were starving, tho so like you two shook hands, became friends, and ate pizza pockets together.

When you two became wore acquainted, he is absolutely CLUELESS on his crush on you. Like wdym yall are just homies. Like he just fw that much. At this point, the turtles know about you, so he blabs about you to them sooooo much.

"Oh y/n is coming around today."

"She was really sad today."

"Did you know she didn't know how to skate??"

"OH she actually is learning the guitar I like it's sorta badass."

"Mikey, oh my gosh, shut up about her! Do you like her or something??"

This comment has him thinking. Does he like you? He asks Donnie for help, and Dontron indeed confirms that Mikey has a romantic crush on you.

"Oh cool... what do I do about it?"

He knows what a crush is because Donnie is head over heals for april, but like, what now? This earns a sigh from Donnie as he dumbs down what a crush is to him, and Mikey goes full-on realization mode.

I don't think he would immediately tell you. I think he will just keep that information in mind but still make it very obvious cause he doesn't care. Like help you out and stuff. Complimenting how good you are at stuff. Sprouting out sentences that imply that he likes you.

"Yo! Your boots look absolutely fire today."

"I just finished the comic you told me about. It was sick!"

"You should probably get out of here dude the kraang is gonna bust the place, and I'd rather you not get hurt."

"You wanna go get some pizza pockets? Just you and me."

Like he would do this noticeably enough that his brothers have to bring it up. Like it's proper sibling etiquette. The classic "How's your girlfriend?" And "Dude, you're so in love with her!" Is to be expected.

Now, one day, he finds a roller skating park that's empty at night. He decided it would be the perfect opportunity to hand out with his favorite person. Also, to teach you how to skate.

He invited you, and you said yes. You guys go, and it's actually locked up at night. But you guys bypass the locks easily. He patiently helps you onto the bored as you pray that you don't somehow fall on your face or break something by just standing on the board with no gear except a helmet.

After a while of close calls and you two being silly, you could finally skate slowly ... with no ramps. Baby steps baby steps.

After a bit, you two sit on top of a ramp just talking about anything, really. Then Mikey confesses to you that he likes you. You say you like him back, and he's all like

"Cool cool cool nice awesome amazing sick fire totally nice."

Leave him alone it's his first time being this flustered. He usually isn't the one who would manage to get a partner in the first place.

When you two start dating, you guys become disgustingly cute. Like you guys take every opportunity to cuddle or just be physically close to one another. You both heavily touch starved. It's like you two read comics together with you up to his plastron with one of his arms wrapped around you and the other holding his comic.

You introduce him to your favorite cartoons and things and you guys have date nights where you two get alot of pizza and sweets and junk food and watch your favorite series that you had non stop thinking about in that week.

You're not allowed the battlefield mostly because Leo says this, but yeah. So, during a fight, Mikey likes to talk about you. He's clingy, is what I'm saying. He could write an essay if he had the attention span and the vocabulary.

But over all he loves youuuu. Like he really fw you. You're the type to bounce off each other's energy and match each other's vibe. It's cute but annoying for others. Poor raph....

Hope you enjoyed it. I hope you liked it. This was super cute to write. I liked it. :>

But that's all from me toodles

~Tammy<3

[wifelinkmtg]

we're so fucking back

Hiiiiiiii so Tarkir: Dragonstorm comes out real soon and there is... nothing major wrong with it! No racecars, no evil clowns, no suppurating mass of yet another shoehorned IP crossover event, just... Magic. Remember Magic? One of the best games ever made on this wretched earth in spite of everything? This is that!

And sure, I could complain about some things, like how the Abzan and the Sultai have the exact same color scheme for some reason, or all the inconsistencies in the overall time travel plot, like how Zurgo is suddenly a big badass like in the old timeline instead of the whinging bellbonger he was in this one or how the mammoths are suddenly unextinct, or how the application of the "Druid" subtype represents a desire on the part of WotC to appear less racist without wanting to understand anything about how racism operates at a structural level so they're just changing surface-level aesthetic elements at random while periodically looking back at the audience for approval like in that one dril tweet, but frankly I'm past wanting Magic: the Gathering setting and story to be good, you know? I just want it to be good enough.

AND SISTER, IT IS

Riverwheel Sweep (art by Wayne Wu)

At this point I believe my record on women with blindfolds and intense upper-arm muscle definition speaks for itself, but just in case: this is real hot. As for my stance on being wrapped up in a length of red silk, reeled in, and forced to my knees: surely you can guess.

Flamehold Grappler (art by Wayne Wu again, good job Wayne)

I firmly believe that everyone should shave their head at least once in their life, and only partially because I think it's hot when women do this. It also really helps to break the back of the beauty standards cop in your head. "But I have a weird-shaped head! I could never pull that off!" Bitch everyone has a weird-shaped head, or a weird hairline, or one little patch of hair that grows in the wrong way, or something. Get comfortable with your own weird body—you'll be happier.

Anyway while I like the idea of a woman with four additional flaming arms, in practice I think burns are Not Worth It. Probably she doesn't have those all the time, so I suppose she could just be a good-looking girl who can beat me up, which I'm not complaining about, but also consider: if you took a bath with her the water would never get cold.

Meticulous Artisan (art by Anna Pavleeva)

Really really long nails, on the other hand, are worth it. I want to stumble out of the bedroom the following morning covered in cartoon kiss marks and an alarming number of lacerations.

Also—we're all on the spectrum here, yeah?—"meticulous" is one of the hottest things a dom can be. Slow, patient, curious about stimulus and response. "What happens if I touch you here? Interesting. What happens if I hurt you there? Very interesting."

Constrictor Sage (art by Nereida)

One of the other hottest things a dom can be is a giant snake lady. Have you ever held a snake, realized it's just smooth and pleasantly-textured skin over nothing but muscle? Holding a snake is a kind of tactile and sensory bliss—we are all on the spectrum here?—which exceeds any number of smooth rocks or plunging your hand into a bowl full of flat glass beads. I've never met a rope that could compare to the coiling allure of snondage.

And while we're on the subject: look how her victim is arching her back. Look at the spectral snake beside her head flicking its tongue out across her jaw. There is something very lesbian going on here, and I hope they both enjoy themselves.

Felothar, Dawn of the Abzan (art by Victor Adame Minguez)

I'm really enjoying her th—hang on, what the fuck is she wearing? The weird burning face breastplate? Wait all the Abzan are wearing this, this Arnim Zola bullshit? Can she team up with four more for the full Voltron? Is this intended to tease an upcoming Power Rangers secret lair?

WAND! MAKE MY MONSTER [Become Immense]

Okay shut up about that it's Eshki time.

Eshki Dragonclaw (art by Tran Nguyen)

I am immediately in love with this character and this piece. I love the bright colors and the patterns on her coat, the beads in her hair. I adore how stylized, how just one step shy of cartoony it is. I really enjoy her dog, who is evoking for me the demons and monsters of traditional east Asian art. And the girl... I want to see her on runways. I want to see her in magazine shoots talking about her nascent music career. God help me, I want to be her songwriter in that music career, and you know, I would try to keep her grounded and safe against the pressure and the predation of that but she's getting actually famous now—look at her, of course she is—and working harder and harder and the fans and the producers keep wanting more more MORE and she can't stop, she can't even slow down and when I tell her I can't keep watching her do this to herself she says who cares, there's a hundred better songwriters drooling for the chance to work with me but I see her face in the instant before she composes herself to say that and it breaks my heart but I leave anyway. And when they start putting her in movies I watch them, I watch when they cast her opposite whatever fifty-year-old man they have doing Bond this decade, watch her go to bed with him, watch her face-up floating dead in the pool when the bad guy takes his revenge, and I follow along when the press inevitably turns on her like botflies. The court case against the powerful industry figure she loses, the tabloids talking about her drug use, the easy punchlines she makes for nepo comedians. And then one day she's gone—dead or vanished, no one can say for sure—and that is all.

Until one day, many years later, there's a woman in the park sitting with her back to a tree, not singing but playing guitar, dark-haired, face different from how everyone remembers it, and she's playing the last song I ever wrote for her, the one she never recorded, never performed. And I stand there across the way, unable to move, and she plays until another woman comes to get her and she slings the guitar on her back and they go off hand in hand. And wouldn't that be enough? In all this wide world, wouldn't that be enough?

NO. IT'S A PEDESTRIAN, TOOTHLESS LITTLE FANTASY. YOU HAVE PEOPLE THESE DAYS WHO LOVE YOU BACK IN UNCOMPLICATED WAYS. HAVEN'T YOU OUTGROWN THIS

Mostly, I think. Every once in a while it's fun to indulge, tho—and for a pedestrian, toothless fantasy, isn't it awfully pretty?

CAN YOU PLEASE JUST EAT PEOPLE OUT IN YOUR FANTASIES LIKE A NORMAL PERSON

Well, maybe next time. Whenever Wizards deigns to bestow upon us another actual Magic set. Or whenever I nail down what the next seminal, life-changing essay is supposed to be about. See y'all then.

[yanyandam]

May I ask for baji hcs (general hcs and how he would act as a bf? Or just one of the two?)

Yayy thank you for requesting! Here are both! Hope you like that

PreTimeskip!Baji Keisuke Headcanons // Edward

GENERAL HCS

He owns a police showcase bike he stole, meaning it’s literally the same model cops use. One time, he was driving and accidentally got saluted by an old lady who thought he was undercover. Instead of correcting her, he saluted back and rode off dramatically.

During an important meeting, he got distracted by a stray cat outside, left the meeting mid-sentence, and spent the rest of the night feeding it his own lunch. TOMAN is used to this kind of behavior now.

One time, he forgot his glasses at home and refused to take a test because, in his words, "I’ll be an idiot without them." He miserably failed anyway. His mother had a breakdown again.

His teachers are terrified of him, except for one elderly Japanese teacher who once told him, "You remind me Yuko Natori, same temper..." Since then, he treats her like a goddess and helps her carry things. No one understands why.

Kazutora once jokingly said, "Man, I wish I had a PS2..." The next day, Baji showed up with one. When asked where he got it, he shrugged and said, "Va bene." (His friends still don’t know what that means, nor did he. He thought Italian sounded badass and mysterious.)

He keeps all his failing test papers (which represents 90% of the total number) hidden under his bed because he can’t bear to throw them away, but he also can’t show them to his mom. He even tried redoing a test at home and graded it himself, pretending he passed. His mom smiled a bit, pretending she didn’t notice the TERRIBLE grammatical mistakes in the ‘grading’.

If he sees his crush talking to another guy, he doesn’t get jealous normally. Instead, he tries to outdo the guy at the most random things. 

He once saw a romcom and thought "Ah, I get it now." The next day, he tried to dramatically pin his crush against the wall, she got scared and, next day he was excluded for 2 days from school for harassment. He doesn't understand what fucked up

He once randomly whispered to the girl he had a crush on "I can name 30 animals." Nobody knows why he does this.

WITH A GIRLFRIEND

Since he believes glasses make him smart, he wears them on every date to look “intellectual.” It doesn’t work. He just looks confused and sometimes walks into glass walls.

He knows he’s bad at talking about feelings, so instead, he buys her stuff randomly, but the gifts are always unhinged. Once, he gave her a full bucket of apples because "You like fruit, right?"

He never says ‘I love you’ directly. Not because he doesn’t feel it, but because words are hard for him. Instead, he shows it in weird ways, like walking her home, driving her around the city with his bike, carrying her bag without asking, or beating up anyone who makes her sad.

He acts tough, but the first time she reached for his hand he completely malfunctioned.

One time, they were walking, and a kitten jumped on her lap. Baji immediately said, "That means you’re good. I approve of you." (???)

He’s bad at initiating affection, so he just stands near her until she gets the hint. If she hugs him first, he refuses to let go but will pretend he’s just “too lazy” to move.

[navybrat817]

Aggressively texting Bucky: "How dare you be this fucking cute?!"

Seriously! How is he so cute?!

A Couple of Cuties

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: Bucky's cute. He knows it. You know it. You just need to admit it. Word Count: 1.2k Warnings: Flirting, tension, banter, implied sexy times, Bucky Barnes (yep, he's a warning) A/N: Happy Sinday! Set in the same universe as The Rejects. ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

You weren't sure how game nights became your thing with Bucky. Maybe it was because it was how the two of you got together. You looked forward to them, especially since they had a tendency to end the same way: The "loser" of a chosen game stripping and the "winner" eventually losing their clothes, too. Both of you were winners by the time you got to bed or the nearest surface he felt like taking you on. Tonight would be no exception.

If you didn't smack him first.

"It's cute that you think I'm cute. Nothing wrong with that."

You crossed your arms and raised an eyebrow at Bucky. He had his signature panty-dropping smirk on his face as he stared back at you from across the table. It was a battle of wills and you were determined not to blink. You refused to let him win. And you refused to acknowledge his cuteness.

I won't think about his adorable smile or his sweet laugh when I crack a joke or the way his eyes go soft when I catch him staring.

"When did I say you're cute?" You asked, finally blinking when you had to. He still hadn't, his deep blue eyes laser focused as he stared.

Of course, he beat me. Damn super soldier and his skills. How the hell can anyone go that long without blinking?

"You say it with your eyes and your smile, just like I say it to you," he replied, holding his phone up as you raised your chin defiantly. Even though his words made your heart swell, you didn’t let it show out of sheer stubbornness. "You also sent me a text. Would you like me to read it to you?"

"I don't need you to-"

"How dare you be this fucking cute?!" he read, trying and failing to imitate your voice.

I sound nothing like that. And I regret hitting "send" on that text message.

"You think because the text came from my phone that I sent it? How do you know Nat or someone didn't take my phone? I mean, face it, you have no proof that I'm the one who sent that message," you said, checking your nails to avoid his gaze. "Maybe someone wanted to give you an ego boost. Not like you need one, but good for them for the effort."

The adorable nose scrunch was out in full force as he laughed and you no doubt had hearts in your eyes as the sound bounced off the walls. The fact that he could relax around you after he faced so many horrors was a wonderful feeling. "Nat has never called me cute and I'm pretty sure she was with Steve when I got this message," he pointed out as he leaned across the table and booped you on the nose with a vibranium finger when you lifted your gaze. "But you think I'm cute and I think that's adorable."

"I'm sorry, but did Sergeant Barnes just boop my nose? You actually booped my nose. We may have to take your badass card away and replace it with a ‘boop boop’."

"No deflecting and badasses can still give and receive boops," he said as he settled back in his chair. "You sent the message. We both know it."

"I did not," you stated.

Bucky licked his lips, drawing your attention to them. You wanted to feel them against yours. You needed them on your skin and between your legs. "You did."

"I did not," you repeated, your voice steady as his gaze moved down to your chest. Can a man actually touch you with his eyes? Logic told you it was physically impossible, but it didn’t stop your body from imagining that he could do so.

"You did, but do you know what's cuter?” He asked, leaning back as he grasped the bottom of his blue Henley and pulled it over his head. “You in my clothes.”

“It’s cute when I’m wearing your clothes?” You questioned, catching the garment as he tossed it your way. The whiff of his cologne made you shiver, along with something that had to come from the serum. You noticed that Steve had a hint of a similar scent to Bucky, but the Captain’s didn’t make your heart race the way the former Winter Soldier’s did. “I was going for sexy.”

“It’s very sexy,” he promised, the praise heating up your skin before he gestured to himself. “But if you don’t admit that I’m cute, you won’t get any of this tonight.”

It was your turn to laugh as you swapped out your top for Bucky’s, watching his eyes darken as you slipped it on. You did look good in his clothes. “You’re going to withhold sex from me? Please. I have a toy with your name on it that’ll do the job just fine.”

Your boyfriend smiled at your words. “Aww. You named a toy after me? That’s flattering. Do you call him Bucky? James? Sergeant? Don’t hold back on me, doll. I wanna know the details.”

“You know, the text was your fault since you decided to send me a selfie,” you defended yourself, changing the subject. It was a cute photo of him. One of many. Of course, you had to say something.

“Maybe I can fuck you with the toy first,” he suggested, your inhale sharp and quick as his voice dropped. It didn’t take long for you to feel his hand on your knee, moving dangerously slow up your leg. “Because you look so cute right before you let go. Your mouth falls open slightly and the sweetest little whine slips out. And almost a look of surprise when you gush around me, like no one else has ever made you come so hard.”

No one else ever has.

“I take it back. You’re not cute. You’re the devil,” you argued breathlessly as your legs parted, allowing his hand to glide up more.

“If I’m the devil, come and sin with me,” he smirked, his hand stopping just before it reached the middle of your thighs. “And for you to take it back is an admission that you do think I’m cute. But if you won't say it...”

“Fine, you smug bastard! I admit it. I sent it because you’re cute. You’re fucking adorable. Living proof that you can be a beast and a sweetheart,” you said as he grinned, grasping his wrist and bringing his hand to your clothed core, the fabric soaked thanks to him. “And thanks to you, I’m all wet. So either do something about it or no game nights for a month.”

His nostrils flared, knowing it wasn’t just a threat. You also knew there was no way in hell he could last that long without your game nights. He cherished them just as much as you did. “You wouldn’t.”

“Oh, I would. I can play with my toy in the meantime if you’re not up for the job,” you smirked, grinding slowly against his hand. “Cutie.”

You would tell Bucky later just how cute he looked when he knocked the table out of the way to get to you. He would make sure you weren’t sore since he fucked you on the floor. It was endearing how much he cared for your well-being.

You expected nothing less from a cutie like Bucky Barnes.

These two. 😂 I hope you lovelies liked it! Love and thanks for reading. 💙

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[bunnivez]

Modern! Zoya…

Her first job was as a tattoo artist. Most of her costumers were women, they would specifically ask for her to do their tattoos; both because of her amazing work and the other… to get a close look at her. Whats better? Zoya is aware of the many women she is pulling (๑>؂•̀๑)

Imagine you two meet randomly bumping against each other and turns out you work at the shop right next to the one she works at!

Or you got recomendad by your friend to go to a certain shop to get your tattoo done, telling you to specifically ask for a woman named Zoya since her work is more professional and she is more trusted to give you great results.

She used to live in an apartment until she got a husky… I mean she it wasn’t like she couldn’t afford an average house but damn, she now has to pay more…

Has a love-hate relationship with her dog TRUST. Often complains of their sudden howling and the amount of hair they shed.

“It’s 1:30AM why the fuck are you howling like that!? You sound like you’re dying!” “Oh my f… You know i’m tempted in leaving you bald so I don’t have to deal with having your hair on the couch.”

At the same time however, they are also her best buddy and friend. There are times where she even lets them sleep with her on bed… For at least an hour before Zoya falls asleep and accidentally pushes s them off the bed in the middle of the night.

Yes she is a messy sleeper, god knows how the heck she ends up with on leg on the headboard and the other hanging on the bed. She snores like a dad…

Like even her huskey got scared for a second and kept barking until she woke up.

Listen, when going out she has this whole badass outfit, rings on her fingers, chains, unbuttoned blouse, a whole ass fit that screams “DADDY”

And then there are times where she just pulls up to the grocery store with an “Idgaf” outfit… Yet somehow she still looks hot. Jorts, a black baggy shirt, socks with the damn sandals or crocs combo (ಠ_ಠ)

Has a tongue piercing and you cannot tell me otherwise. If not, it is definitely her nipples.

Dark or alcohol filled chocolates girly. She isn’t a fan of overly sweet stuff.

Once choked on boba balls.

Honestly she can be romantic at times. She takes you to dates often— if not she plans something you two can do at home. Like cook, watch movies, play games or something.

Motorcycle rides with her are very common, more so with the fact that she doesn’t really own a car… Which she did confess that she may or may not be the best at driving.

Who knows how the heck she managed to stay alive with the many incidents she’s had while driving.. I guess she’s immortal.

Has an electric guitar, she posts videos on TikTok playing it and they get pretty high views! Like 406.1k views or something.

Her reposts mainly contain of two things; brain rots, lesbian.

Takes the most silly pictures of you and posts them on her story.

Source ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

HAHAHSGSBSGAVAWHABE, IMAGINE HER LAYING DOWN WHILE YOU SIT ON TOP OF HER TO DO HER MAKEUP.

Holds you like a stuffed animal when sleeping. It’s actually so cute but it’s kinda hard to break free from her hold.

YOU GUYS PLAY ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS, AND WHOEVER LOSES IS IN CHARGE OF COOKING.

Her cooking is actually pretty damn good! I feel like she is especially a specialist when it comes to cooking meat.

If you are too shy to order your food whenever you two are out, or pay, DO NOT WORRY, SHE LITERALLY IS YOUR SAVIOR, NO KIDDING. This woman gives no fucks at all, too shy to order? She’ll do it, hot your order wrong? She’ll go up and tell them.

Have I mentioned she gets up at 5AM just to do pushups?…

The type to randomly smack or grab your ass, she doesn’t care about the size.

I don’t recommend watching romance movies with her… she will cringe at any kissing scenes acting like she wouldn’t or doesn’t do that with you 24/7.

Not the best at dancing… Girl is STIFF.

I have the feeling she is the type to not admit that she is in pain during her period. She will act all tough and all until she can’t anymore.

(We need more comforting the ptn women on their period instead of the other way around, they also need comfort 😔)

Oh yeah did I also mention she was close to breaking your phone once? It all happened when you were scrolling through TikTok and saw a thirst trap (*cough* Rhea Ripley *cough*) and when I tell you grabbed your phone and threw it… IT HAPPENED.

Says she hates kids but has a soft spot for them actually. They remind her of Horo when she was wayyy younger.

Randomly sends you weird TikToks…. Like it’s so random and she says nothing about it.

She isn’t a fan of dresses, but she once tried it for you and it was a sight. It hugged her curves right and she kept flexing her muscles. If you take any pictures she seriously will kill you. (Especially if you send them to her friends).

If you are out she WILL text and call you every 36 minutes if she can’t come with you. And if she is too busy to pick you up she will face time you on your way home.

Has like so many posters of her favorite bands, korn, kiss, Deftones, ect.

Randomly gives you kisses when you least expect it. They are so random, you could be distracted and she will kiss your cheek, or your forehead, or the top of your head.

If she sees anyone eyeing you while in public she will pull you close and give the person a nasty look.

[justmeinadaze]

Created A Monster Part 2 (Steddie X Kas Y/N)

A/N: Totally new for me here. Reader kind of takes more control in this one but I'm not calling it Sub/Dom dynamics. As someone going through some shit right now, this is kinda something I needed with the angst and their strong need to please her <3.

Enjoy!

Part 1

I can also leave it here or add another part. Up to you!

Warning: Steddie & Kas (vampire) Reader, SMUT, I read that bats give off pheromones so that was KINDA utilized here but all three here are consenting, dirty talk, boys desperate for her praise, etc. FLUFF, reader has memories of the guys that she forgot thanks to Vecna, it shows the love they had/have for each other. Memories are in black bold.

ANGST (because I'm me), she does insult them a lot through the beginning and they do what they can to make her remember them. The feels are abound. There is a cameo from the envision they have of her from part 1. She's always represented with italicized font. She mentions being hit by Vecna which makes the guys mad (rightfully!). There is a moment in the upside down near the end where Vecna expresses disappointment in her. That world is in red font. Cliffhanger ending.

Word Count: 6099

"Got you on your knees, beggin', "Mommy, please?" Girl I used to be, now she isn't me, say, "R.I.P."

Call a doctor I think I created a monster She's got a psycho inside her But I think that I kinda like her."

After removing your armor, they hastily tied you to a pillar and waited for you to wake. 

“I watched her die in my arms, Steve. I held her till she took her last breath and even then people had to drag us away from her. How is she here?”

“I don’t know. She looks different…harder. She was always a badass but…’My master sends his regards.’ What can that mean?”

“In D&D there’s a character called Kas. He’s a solider with a sword who Vecna grants eternal life and in turn he becomes his right-hand man killing Vecna’s enemies.”

 “But then why would she come after us?”

“I mean we did help take him out—”

“No, asshole. I mean why is she, Y/N, coming after us, the men she loves?”

Growling catches their attention as your eyes flutter open and you take in your surroundings. 

“Sweetheart.”, Eddie coos as he holds up his hands in surrender to show he’s not a threat. “How are you feeling? Are you alright?”

“I’m fine but you aren’t. As soon as I get out of here, I’m going to rip you apart.”

“Oh, well, that’s nice.”

Steve rolls his eyes as he steps closer to you.

“Do you know who we are?”

“Steven Harrington, the former pathetic king of Hawkins who helped hurt my master by setting him on fire and Edward Munson who helped by distracting his babies so they couldn’t protect him. Still on the run, freak?”

Their eyes darkened as they listened to you speak. This wasn’t the girl they fell in love. You would have never said things like this to them before. 

“And who are you then?”

Your body straightens as you raise your chin in defiance. 

“I am my master’s right-hand and his strongest knight. I protect him and kill any of his enemies that he asks of me.”

“Ah, I see. So you’re his bitch?”

Baring your fangs, you hiss Eddie’s way causing both men to jump back before regaining their composure.

“My master takes care of me. He saved me when I was left bleeding to death on the concrete after you and friends tried to kill me!”

“Is that what he told you? No. No, honey, that’s not what happened. You were on our side of that fight.”

“My master said you would lie.”, you growl.

“HE killed you, Y/N. Him and his ‘babies’.”, the metalhead responded in an equally angry tone. “You were supposed to come back with us but you sacrificed yourself by distracting those things. THEY pinned you down and THEY bit into you. You died in my arms, sweetheart. How can you not remember this? I was fucking screaming at you—”

“Y/n! No, no, no, no, no. Stay with me, baby. Don’t you fucking close those beautiful eyes. Henderson! Go get Steve. Fucking hurry!”

“Be nice, a-asshole.”, you try to chuckle. “Eddie…I’m scared.”

“There’s nothing to be afraid of, ok? I’m right here and Steve is on his way. We’re gonna get you to a hospital. I just need you to keep talking with me.”

“I lo-ove you both…so much.”

“Hey, don’t you do that. Don’t fucking tell me goodbye!”

“It’s not goodbye… it’s—”

“…See you later.”

When you cut off Eddie’s story, his eyes locked with yours and for just a moment he saw the old you reflecting back within them. Their tiny victory was short lived however when your features hardened once more and you spit in their direction. 

“Let me go now and I promise to kill you quickly.”

“What should we do?”, Steve asked his friend, ignoring your threat. “We can’t tell the others about her because then they may want to kill her.”

“Maybe we can take turns watching her and talking to her? Get her to remember who she is.”

“And what if that’s a lost cause?”

Both men glanced your way as you tried to pull out of your binds.

“Then…we kill her.”

####################

While Steve laid in bed, he stared at the ceiling above completely unable to sleep as the events of the night you died run through his mind. 

He, Nancy, and Robin ran to where Eddie was clutching your limp body to his chest as he sobbed. 

“No! NO! What happened?!”, Steve screamed as he slid to his friend’s side. 

“She didn’t come through with us when we went back through the gate. She stayed behind to distract the bats and fight.”

“O-Ok. Ok, um, need to get her…get her to a…a hospital.”

“Steve—”

“NO!”, he shouted cutting Robin off as he reached over to pry you from the metalhead’s grasp. Dustin placed his hand on his shoulder when it took him a moment to let you go. “Honey?” His voice cracked when he felt how cold your skin was as he cupped your cheek in his palm. “Y/N, come back, baby. We won. We beat him. Vecna’s gone. We-We can go home.”

When your body remained lifeless in his arms, he desperately shook you.

“WAKE UP, Y/N! PLEASE!”

The realm around them began to quake almost knocking them off their feet. 

“We need to go NOW!”, Nancy instructed. 

“Ok, we-we need to lift her and—”

“We can’t Steve. We’ll barely be able to get Dustin back through and—”

“I’M NOT LEAVING HER HERE!”

“Neither am I.”, Eddie growled angrily at the thought. 

“I don’t blame you for having to leave me behind.”, the vision of you coos softly from beside him. “Maybe if you hadn’t I wouldn’t be in the living room right now.”

“That’s not you.”, Steve whispered. “Whoever that is, is what Vecna made her to be.”

“Hm. That’s one way to look at it. What if a version of me was hidden there the whole time and you didn’t know.”

“Please. The girl we knew would never let anyone tell her what to do.”

“Oh wow. Is little Stevie disappointed?” When he rolled away from you, your light laugh echoed in his ears. “You always did like those nights when I took control, didn’t you?”

***

“He’s talking to himself in there.”, you say sarcastically to the metalhead sitting on the counter in front of you strumming his guitar. 

“Yeah…he does that. He’s actually talk to you; a version of you.”

“Hm. We’ll that’s pathetic.” When he doesn’t respond or react to your words, your try to pull at your binds to no avail. “Do you also talk to a figment of your imagination?”

“Sometimes but I go to your grave to do that so I seem less insane.”, Eddie sighs as he readjusts his instrument. 

When his fingers start making a melody, you freeze as you listen to the notes. 

“I know that.”

A small smirk paints his lips as he plays a bit louder but softly murmurs some lyrics. 

“In touch with the ground I'm on the hunt, I'm after you Smell like I sound, I'm lost in a crowd And I'm hungry like the wolf.”

“You always loved that song. I would tease you because you would stop anything you were doing to watch the music video if it came on.”, he chuckles at the memory. 

“It was the fedora hats. Gave off this Indiana Jones vibe I always found attractive.��, the image of you beside Eddie laughed along with him. 

“We surprised you once by buying the outfits they wear and dressing like the band for Halloween. You felt bad because you thought we should all match so we ran to the corner store and bought you this headband with ears and a tail you could clip to your jeans. As soon as we stepped outside you howled real loud like a wolf.”

Eddie’s head hung at the memory, desperately missing those times when you made him unbelievably happy. 

“Baby, it’s ok to have hope that you can bring me back. You know it will kill you if you both don’t try.”, you try to soothe as you step closer to him. “It also ok if I don’t but you accept this new…powerful…stronger…sexier version of me.”

The metalhead snorts out another laugh as he glances towards the chained-up version of you to find your black eyes watching him curiously. 

“Oh come on. I know the armor and attitude got you all riled up.”

“Am I turning you on, freak, or the imaginary friend you both talk to?” A wide toothy smile stretched across your face as you inhaled through your nose. “The other asshole is turned on to if it makes you feel better.”

Eddie listened to you manically laugh as he jumped down from the counter so his friend could take over watching you. He couldn’t handle your snarky attitude anymore. 

#################

“Hey, man. You alright?”, Steve asked as his best friend sleepily came down the hallway rubbing his eyes. 

“Yeah. I think I slept for like a total of 20 minutes.” Eddie’s gaze shifts to your sleeping frame that was now sitting on the floor with your head resting on your shoulder. “When did she knock out?”

“Um, around 6am. I was going to ask you; it seems like she’s a vampire like you said. She has the fangs and hates the sun.”

“Hm and the silver chains seem to be keeping her in place. She’s probably going to be hungry soon. I wonder how she eats. I mean it’s not like Vecna is the kind of asshole to give her blood.”

“Ed…she’s killed a lot of people, remember?”

“Steve?”

The sound of you calling out the man’s name grabbed their attention as the metalhead slowly stepped closer to you. Your eyes were still closed but your breathing had gotten shallow as your head lolled to the other side. 

“Y/N?”

“Steve…Eddie’s…missing…”

The former jock’s eyes widened at your words as the memory flashed through his mind. 

“STEVE! Did you see—”

“Yeah, baby, I did.”, he pants out as he runs around the Family Video counter to take you in his arms. 

“Eddie’s missing! We have to find him! He’s probably terrified and panicking.”

“He’s probably at another friend’s house.”, Robin suggested. “Do you know who else he could be with?”

“I’m right here, sweetheart. I’m not missing anymore. You found me…you always did.”, he cooed. 

His ringed hand shook as he slowly reached for your cheek, breathing a heavy sigh of pleasure when his thumb caressed your cool skin. 

A low rumble left your chest and he promptly retracted when your eyes snapped open. 

“Don’t fucking touch me!”

“You were having a memory.”

“One of your lies imprinted in my brain!”

Steve angerly kicked one of the lower cabinets before leaning against the counter. A thought crossed his mind and you both watched him as he ran to the tv, searching through the plethora of VHS’s before finding what he wanted. 

Standing back, he pushed a button on the remote and the sound of your laugh echoed through the apartment.

“Steve! I’m going to laugh if we play this back and you’ve been filming the wall the whole time!”

“Honey, the lens is pointing at us. How would it capture the wall?!”

“Here, maybe, if we squeeze closer together…”

“Eddie! You’re crushing my ribs!”, you whine as the metalhead pushes you three closer together. 

Their eyes scan you over as you watch the video in front of you and your whole demeanor softened. 

“You guys are so dumb.”, you giggle and sigh. 

“Yeah but you still love us.”

“Damn right.”, you coo as you tilt up to kiss Steve’s lips. “So why did you spend money on this bulky thing?”

“Because…a few years from now when we’re married and have our six to ten kids…” The boy smiled when you rolled your eyes and your palm reached up to pet Eddie’s curls as he laughed into your shoulder. “… we can look back on this and remember. Remember a time when we were done fighting monsters and villains. A time before I became some awesome businessman working with Robin and making a ton of money.”

“A time before I became a fucking rockstar and women were screaming my name.”

“Oh my god, Ed.”, you laugh before he grips your chin and turns you towards him. 

“I’m sure even then all I hear is you.”, Eddie smiles as he kisses your lips. “What about you, sweetheart? What will you be doing?”

You softly grin as you pull them closer. 

“I don’t know yet but as long as I’m with you two I know I’ll be happy.”

“…I know I’ll be happy.”

When your words echoed alongside the ones in the video, another pang of hope pierced their hearts. 

“Did we fake that? Or imprint the idea in your head?”, Steve asked trying to hide the pleading in his tone. “You loved us and we loved you.”

“So much.”, Eddie added. “Still do, baby.”

A tear fell down your cheek as your eyes stared into a void, fleeting subtly from left to right as if you were sifting through your brain trying to decipher what was real. 

“Leave me alone.”, you commanded in a soft tone as you hung your head. 

Nodding, they did what you ask, surprising even you when they didn’t try to argue back.

***

“Ed! Wake up, man. Something’s wrong.”

Eddie’s head shot up from the chair he had fallen asleep on as his friend began to shake him. 

“Wha--? What’s happening?”

“I don’t know. She’s really clammy and growling.”

Without hesitation, he headed your way and carefully took you in. Your eyes were now fully black as your head leaned back against the wall and you panted heavily. Your shirt was damp against your chest as sweat fell from your temple and your stomach rumbled. 

“What’s wrong, Y/N?”

When you didn’t answer, he stepped forward before abruptly pausing when you hissed his way. 

“Hungry.”

“O-Ok. Um, what do you eat? Do need blood?” As he began taking off his bracelets and rings, Steve grabbed his shoulder to stop him. “She needs to eat or she’ll die, Steve.”

“What if she kills you?”

“Then she kills me. I lost her once; I’m not losing her again.”

You blinked as you listened to them speak in such absolutes about you. Your master told you that they were vile, selfish men who left you for dead to save themselves. But then why were they offering to feed you? Why were they trying so hard to keep you around?

“Here, sweetheart, take what you need.” When he noticed you looking at the scars on his wrist, Eddie lightly chuckled. “My, uh, beauty wound.”

“I…have them…to.”

“Yeah.”, he sighed. “I tried to save you but those little fuckers were everywhere. They got me pinned before I could get to you but, um, thankfully Steve saved the day.”

“Y/N! Y/N, I’m coming, princess. Fuck! Let me—ugh!—let me go!”

You shook out his voice screaming inside your head as pain shot through your body and you growled. 

“Shit. Ok, come on, Y/N. Go ahead and eat.”, the metalhead instructed as he placed his wrist by your lips. His scent wafted into your nose as another memory filled your brain. 

“The fuck are you doing you, weirdo?”, Eddie teases when he feels you inhale and nuzzle into his neck while you were straddling his lap as he tried to read. 

“I like the way you smell.”

He cackles through his teeth making you smile as you hug him tighter. 

“I smell disgusting. I haven’t showered in like three days and you know I smoke like a chimney.”

Tilting back, you tenderly kiss his lips. 

“Its YOU. I love the way YOU smell.”

While you were lost in your head, Eddie couldn’t help but caress your cheek and to his pleasure you turned into his palm. 

Suddenly, your teeth sunk into his flesh making him wince as the other boy stepped forward before he held up his free hand to stop him. As you drained his blood his chocolate eyes flutter closed as he groaned, falling towards you as his palm shot out to catch himself against the wall. 

“Talk to me, Munson.”

When his friend didn’t respond, Steve swiftly jumped into action, yanking him from you so hard he fell to the floor. You loudly growled at the action, your wings expanding as you push forward and broke the chain around you. Tackling him to the ground, he did his best to fight against you but you were stronger as your fangs sunk into his neck. 

The former jock’s fight slowly left him as his panicked whimpers were replaced with hefty groans of need as his fingers reached up to lace in your hair. 

“Ok, now look.”

As you slowly open your eyes and see your reflection in the mirror, you let out a loud “HA!” as you cover your mouth to stifle the rest from escaping.  

“What?! You don’t like it?”, Steve teases with a big grin as his large hand lightly pats your floofy hair being held up currently by a ton of hairspray. “You said you wanted to look like Madonna in that one video and for some reason trusted me to accomplish that.”

“I just thought that Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington would have some knowledge into hair.”

“Well, honey that was your mistake, not mine.” The boy’s laugh echoes through his always empty home as you gently hit his arm and he falls onto his back bringing you with him. “I still think you look beautiful.”

Your smile grows as you kiss his lips and he wraps his arms around you. 

“Eddie’s gonna have a field day though.”

“What?”, Steve asked breathlessly as he cupped your cheeks. “Keep going, baby. T-Take it. Take it all if you need to.”

At his words, a bunch of memories flash through your mind at once, overloading your brain as you tumble backwards on to the floor. 

“Whoa! What’s going on, sweetheart?”, Eddie asked as he hastily slid to your side. 

“I guess, um, we’re lab partners today?”, Steve forces a smile as he extends his hand to you. “I’m Steve Harrington.”

Eddie cautiously hands you a cigarette as he eyes you up and down as you both lean against the brick wall. “I’m Eddie…Eddie Munson. What’s your name?”

“Christ, I suck at this. The last person I said this to didn’t feel the same but…I don’t know…It’s just different…with you. What I’m trying to say, Y/N, is…I love you.”

“I love you, sweetheart, so much. I never thought I’d ever feel this way about anyone.”

“STEVE! Oh my God! Are you alright? When you got pulled under again I got so scared. Oh, fuck you’re bleeding. Nancy, do you have anything we can wrap around him?”

“I’m buying you more time. Don’t worry, Eddie, you can spank me after we finish this.”

“Y/N! No! Baby, please! Y/N! Y/N! Y/N.” 

Both men covered their ear as you tilted your head back and screamed. Before either of them could do anything about it, your wings expanded and you flew out the window.

#################

“What happened?”, Dustin asked after Eddie silently opened their front door and he saw their destroyed apartment. “We, um, Mike, Nancy, Robin, and I have been trying to call you guys these past couple of days. Did something happen? Someone break in?”

“No…nothing happened.”, the metalhead responded sullenly as he threw himself down on the couch. 

The young boy’s eyes flicked to Steve who was seemingly fuming as he paced back and forth in their kitchen.

“Did you get cut?”, Dustin inquired as he gestured towards his friend’s neck. 

“She has to come back. We know she’ll come back. She’ll remember. She’ll remember. She’ll remember.”

“Ok, no. Something’s not right! Now tell me or—”

“Or what?”, the former jock snapped. “Or WHAT, Henderson?!” Thrown off guard by his tone, Dustin slowly backed towards the door as his friend stalked his way. “Nothing then? Didn’t think so.” After lightly shoving the boy’s chest, he slammed the door and went back into the kitchen to pace. 

“That was rude.”, the vision of you scolded.

“Fuck OFF.”

“Oooo Mr. Harrington… are you…needy?”, you cackle mockingly as he glares your way. “Hmmm. Who would have thought you were into biting?”

“I’m not…you…you did something…”

“Who? Vampire Kas me? Ha! To be fair, it’s been, what, five months since either of you have gotten any? Feeling me on your lap again probably kick started your cock, you bad boy.”

The sound of glass shatters loudly as Steve throws a plate against the wall towards the vision of you. 

“Would you calm the fuck down!?”, Eddie shouts. 

“Fuck you!! Fuck everybody!”

The metalhead rises to his feet and stomps towards his friend before shoving his chest. 

“I feel it to but you don’t see me screaming at hallucinations and throwing shit!”

“Ugh! What did she do, Munson?!”

“She’s a fucking vampire now, right? Bats give off pheromones… Don’t look at me like that, Harrington! I don’t see you coming up with anything better!”

As night fell, they did everything they could to distract themselves but images of you constantly clouded their mind way more than before. They barely even heard it when your feet landed on the tile in the kitchen and your wings retracted. 

When their eyes landed on you, they thought they were envisioning you again. Your hair was laying down against your shoulders along a clean white tank top with matching shorts. Slowly, you tip toed to the couch where Eddie was laying drenched in sweat. Silently, you grabbed the back of his hand and place his palm against your cheek as you keened into the feeling. 

When his eyes found yours, his eyebrows knitted together as he pushed up on his elbow and his thumb ran along the purple bruise under your eye. 

“What happened, princess?”

Steve crawled from his place on the floor near the hallway till he was right beside you both and used his fingers to brush your hair behind your ear.

“Did I do that? Did we…?”

You shook your head as your gaze averted from theirs. 

“I…I asked my master…too many questions…”

The boy growled as he forced himself to his feet and stumbled towards the sword he had defeated you with on the ground. 

“I helped kill that fucker once, I can do it again.” 

Steve blinked in surprise when you were suddenly in front of him, gently prying the weapon from his hand. As he fell back against the wall, you fell into him and he limply circled his arms around you. 

“I’m sorry, honey. We’re not all…all here…”

Tenderly grabbing his hands, you placed them higher up your back before the sound of your wings expanding filled the apartment causing Eddie to roll off the couch and stagger your way. 

“No, NO, sweetheart, please…don’t go…”

Shaking your head, you place him beside his friend and lightly flap your wings their way. That feeling of need washed over them again causing both men to groan. 

“You were too close.”, you say as you gesture behind you. “It’s meant for enemies…to defuse a situation…I panicked…too many memories.”, you whisper sullenly. 

The metalhead tugs on your wrist, bringing you to him as he pushes your head against him. When your lips pressed against one of his tattoos, he practically melted, moaning at the action. Steve followed with a mewl of his own when your hand reached out to run along the hair that was sticking to his sweaty chest. 

A prominent whine escaped them as you took a few steps back with Eddie falling to his knees and crawling as he tried remaining as close to you as possible. Your eyelids fluttered as his lips trailed from your feet, along your calf, and up your thigh till he reached your stomach. 

After petting the long-haired boy’s head, you sauntered past them both down the hallway, pausing to beckon them with your finger and both men immediately follow. Laying down on the bed, they kiss and run their tongues along any part of your skin they can reach from your neck to the tips of your fingers.

Each pant and heavy whimper that left their mouths knocked something loose in your mind that turned you on more and more. 

“That’s it, Eddie, baby. Harder, please.”

“Fuck, Steve, I can feel you in my stomach.”

“Oh my God, pretty girl. You’re so fucking tight. You take us both so well.”

“That’s it, sweetheart. Ride my cock just like that.”

Lightly guiding his head with your fingers in his hair, you maneuvered Steve between your legs and helped him pull down your shorts while Eddie did the same with your top. 

The metalhead promptly latched onto your tit as the pretty boy pressed gentle kisses against your pussy lips till his tongue licked a long stripe through your folds. 

“Oh fuck, honey. I-I never thought I’d be able to taste you again. Still so fucking sweet.”

As his face fell back in your cunt and his mouth wrapped around your clit, your fingers softly played with his hair.

“That’s it, Steve. Such a good boy for me making me feel so good.”

Jealousy coursed through Eddie at the encouragement, desperately wanting it as well. Rings dug into your flesh as the long-haired boy sucked and nibbled on your breast a bit harder causing your back to arch into the man below. 

“Aw—mmm—does Eddie need some attention to? Fuck, your both gonna make me cum.” 

Both men hurried their rhythm just as desperate to hear you come undone and as you tumbled over the edge, you clung to them tightly as continuous moans fell from your lips. Grinning drunkenly, it took you some time to come down from your high but when you did you were met with animalist grunts as they pushed at each other. 

“You just ate her out! Why do you get to fuck her first?

“Because I can!”

A gruff growl left your throat as you pushed up and gripped Steve’s chin between your fingers roughly. 

“Don’t be greedy, Steve Harrington. You’re both mine and you’ve had a taste. It’s his turn.”

The boy nodded when you let him go, pressing his lips to yours.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. You’re right. You’re right. Forgive me, baby, please.” At his last sentence, Steve’s voice cracked in pain and in return you kissed his forehead. “Thank you. I’m sorry, Ed. I’m so sorry.”

The metalhead curtly nodded as if to say he forgave his friend and when he turned to focus on you, he was rewarded with your legs open wide as your hand rubbed slow circles against your clit.

“Come here, Eddie. I can help make you feel better.”

After climbing the length of your body, his beautiful, glassy eyes locked with yours as he slowly guided his cock into your warm core making him loudly groan. 

“Ahhh my god, Y/N. Y-You feel…” He tried to control the strain in his tone but Eddie was so overwhelmed by the feeling of you as he delivered small, pointed thrusts that had little pants falling from your lips. 

“How do I feel, baby? Tell me.”

His long hair tickled your cheek as his head fell beside yours and your legs wrapped around his waist pushing him closer to you.

“You feel so fucking good. I missed you so much, sweetheart, you have no fucking idea. I’m sorry I failed to bring you back. I broke our promise.”

“You’re safe with me, pretty girl, and I promise nothing is ever going to hurt you as long as I’m here.”

Clinging to him, your lips tenderly kiss the skin along his shoulder as Eddie’s pace hastens and his hips slam aggressively into your own. 

“It’s ok, baby. You did everything y-you could.” You tried to say that as confidently as you could but the truth of the matter was you just didn’t remember. These past couple of days, your brain had been sifting through two timelines and it felt like sometimes you were viewing someone else’s life. But they were hurting and you could feel the sincerity when they spoke. 

Your master told you he loved you and would protect you; that he would never lie to you. But when you asked him questions about your memories, he became angry.

“WHY ARE YOU QUESTIONING ME?! After everything I’ve done for you, Y/N. You let them get in your head didn’t you? Made you weak? I knew I should I have left you on the concrete.”

“Hey. Hey, hey, hey.”, Eddie cooed as he lifted on to his elbow to look you over when he heard you start to sniffle. “Are you ok? Am I hurting you?”

Shaking your head, you encourage him with your palms to keep moving. His lips gently press a kiss to your forehead and down to your cheek as finds his rhythm again.

“Just l-like that, sweetheart, fuck. Your cock is so deep, Eddie.”, you whisper in his ear. “I love you.” 

Your eyes roll back as the coil snaps and your nails drag almost painfully down his back but the metalhead doesn’t care as he chases his high, falling flat on top of you as he rolls his hips and releases his seed inside of you.

“Good boy, baby. It’s Steve’s turn now, ok?”

Lazily nodding, he rolled to away from you as the other boy grabbed your arm and pulled you his chest while he laid on his side. After lifting your leg and hooking his arm under your knee, you helped guide his length into your sensitive hole causing your back to arch off the bed as you moaned. 

“Mmm—Stevie, oh my God—you’re so big. Stretching me open, baby boy.”

“Fuck.”, he groaned as he steadily pumped his hips. “Look at me, honey, please. I n-need to see your face.” When you craned your neck to do what he asked, his palm grazed your forehead, moving your hair back so he could see everything with no obstruction. “I missed you, Y/N. F-Fucking—mmm—dreamed about you every night.”

You mewled as he pounded into you and his arms abruptly pulled your body tighter against him.

“I tried, Y/N. I prayed you would never see the monsters in this town. I tried to—mmph—shield you.”

“Steven! What aren’t you telling me!” The man’s head hangs as he sits in his bedroom after you and Eddie picked him up from the hospital after the mall caught fire. “Baby…look at your face. That’s not just from a fire. Someone hurt you… Please…”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”, he murmured under his breath. 

Reaching out with your fingers to move his hair, Steve winces as a tear falls from his wounded eye. 

"Try us.”

Your fingers thread through his as his rhythm picks up and his cock abuses that spongey spot inside of you. 

“I’m sorry, baby. W-We weren’t fast enough…”

“It’s not your fault. Make me cum, Steve, please.” Pushing up on his elbow, his eyes met yours as he did what you asked and your mouth fell open in a silent moan as he thrust into you harder. “I love you to.”

Lips crashed to yours as your body trembled and you came with him following as he warmed your insides.

Both men clung to you as the kissed along your sweaty skin, thankful that you were between them once again. 

################

Vecna sighs from his spot in his crumbling home those insignificant kids tried to burn down. Idiots. He was slowly getting stronger and soon they would feel his wrath. Until then he had to depend on you; a friend and girlfriend to the people he despised. You had proven useful these past few months but when you disappeared, he thought they had killed you and began moving forward with his plan without you. 

When you flew in with half your armor missing and blood dripping from your mouth…he was disappointed. 

“What took you so long? I thought you were dead.”

Your head tilted at his aloof tone as you fought the urge to cry.

“I’m sorry, Master. Eddie and Steve were much harder to dispatch than I thought.”

“Hm. Eddie and Steve, huh? I thought they were the freak and asshole. At least that what’s you called them.”

“I-I-I…”

“Fitting men who hurt you and left you to die.”

“Did they?”

You didn’t mean to say it out loud but you still stood up straighter when he turned to face you, his intimidating eyes taking you in as he stepped forward. 

“Are you questioning me?”

“No…N-No, sir. I just…I’ve been having these…flashes and—”

Vecna’s large hand across your face cut you off as he smacked you hard and you fell to the ground. He reprimanded you and you flew away to your “home” to rest so you could go back out when night fell again. You thought he didn’t know your secrets but he always did. This WHOLE WORLD was his home. 

He felt the wind of your wings when you descended to the apartment building you felt safe in for some reason. The vine that you moved out of the way as you opened the window to a “random” apartment and curled up on a dusty bed. The pin of the thumb tac you put in the wall to replace the generic frames that were there with a banner from the trailer you explored next to where you woke up. 

You didn’t know what “Corroded Coffin” was but for some reason the design gave you peace. After removing your armor, you would sift through your closet for clothes you lifted from that same trailer and another house a few miles down the way. Dozens of polo shirts and band tee’s that were much bigger than your tiny frame but they calmed you as soon as you put them on. 

You had hidden little Knick knacks in the drawer nearby hoping one day you’d get the courage to ask your master why they felt so important to you. There was a 20-sided die beside a book with notes about dragons and dungeons and hair gel that smelled familiar but you couldn’t pinpoint where. You had four metal rings that sometimes you put on your fingers as you slept feeling like someone was holding your hand in the dark when you did. In the house you found the polos in, there was a pair of sunglasses on the dresser that you ignored at first because there was no sun here but something in your stomach tugged at you to bring them with you. 

“Weak”, Vecna thought every single time. 

When morning came around and you didn’t come home again he shifted from disappointed to annoyed. Maybe he needed to do this particular task himself. He still wasn’t as strong as he was before but he had enough strength to take out two measly men. 

You would learn…one way or another…

****

You gasp as the strong feeling that woke you slowly recedes but are hit with the peak of sunlight that penetrates the through the crack in the shades causing you to hiss as you jump out of bed and push your back to a corner. 

“Whoa! Ok, baby. It’s ok!”, Steve calms as he hastily throws off the covers and runs to fully cover the part of the window that had sun coming through. 

Eddie slides down to his knees in front of you as his eyes look you over with concern. 

“What’s going on, Y/N? What happened?”

“We…we…we have to…I have to go… I have to…”

“Sweetheart, it’s noon. The sun will hurt you—”

“Ok, then you need to leave. Right now. RIGHT NOW!”

As you stand up and start to push forward, ring covered fingers keep you in place before you growl and the man lets you go holding his palms in the air.  

“Just talk to us, honey. What’s going on? Let us help you.”, Steve pleads as he takes his place at his friend’s side. 

“He’s coming for you because I failed.”

“Who?”

Your worried gaze shifts between them both as you sigh and shake your head, annoyed that they don’t already know. 

“Who’s coming for us, baby?”, Eddie asked again as he stepped towards you and carefully pushed some of your hair behind your ear. Closing your eyes, you turn your cheek into his palm and kiss the skin as you place your hand over the back of his own. 

“My master.”

###############

Tip/ Ko-Fi :)

@dashingdeb16 @nailbatanddungeon @hardladyheart @hiscrimsonangel @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @iheartmyguitars

[creedslove]

MOONLIGHT BLISS 🌙

Post outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: Joel needs to face his feelings for you, he is even determined to do so, but when you face someone else who also likes Joel, you begin doubting yourself

(This can be read as a sequence of SLEEP BLISS 💤 and SHOWER BLISS 🫧 or as a stand alone, it's up to you)

Warnings: angst, jealousy, age gap, insecure!joel, insecure!reader, fluff a lot of fluff like so much fluff

A/N: I know it's out of character Joel but I don't care, I want my sweet handsome middle aged man to be happy 😭

3.3k words

Sage was the complete antithesis of you. She was tall, strong, badass and older. A woman who managed to get by 20 years in the apocalypse and still look extremely good and attractive.

Some people in Jackson said she was the female version of Joel, but you couldn't disagree more. She was obnoxious, rude, mean and kind of a bully to whoever she didn't like.

And you would fight anyone who dared say Joel was like that.

He wasn't a ray of sunshine, but he was definitely not entitled like that bitch, he kept to himself and he didn't open up to others, but he was never a dick like that woman. Well, he was never a dick to you.

You even forgot the last time he'd been rude towards you, as you and him had been getting along so well in Jackson. It was like you had a connection, each passing day stronger, even if you didn't have a romantic relationship, you certainly had an emotional relationship.

You took care of Joel and he took care of you.

You might not be like Sage, you were shorter than her, your breasts weren't as big as hers and she was closer in age to Joel, maybe eight or nine years younger than him.

But you were fast, you were decent at shooting and you were not afraid of killing as many clickers as you could in order to keep you both safe. You know Joel took care of you, but you weren't a damsel in distress, and you didn't throw over his shoulders the weight of having to protect you, you worked well as a team, so you didn't know why that woman's small provocations bothered you so much.

Maybe it was the fact she had it bad for Joel.

She didn't like him, as in having feelings for him, but she wanted him bad. He was by far the most attractive guy in Jackson, that was an agreement between the two of you, and you knew it pissed her off to see you two together all the time.

It always made you feel pretty good about that, though you weren't romantically involved with him.

No matter if you shared beds and even showers, Joel would never make a move, and that made you sure the problem was you. You were in love with him, but he wasn't in love with you and even if it hurt, you had to be okay with it, you couldn't force him into having feelings for someone.

You hated that woman because she always looked down at you, as if she was so much better, but you hated her more because she always eye fucked Joel.

It always felt to you he was yours, because you felt his, even if that wasn't your reality, you didn't want to wake up from that sweet dream. It was dangerous, but it was the only way to soothe your lonely heart.

You sighed lost in your own thoughts as you brushed the horse's fur very gently, you loved having stable duty, you could spend the whole day among them. They were usually so calm and you just loved to feed them, brush them and play with them. It would be just another day of fun if you hadn't been paired up with Sage.

She didn't like animals, or kids, or people, you were sure she only liked Joel because she dreamed of his cock filling up her old dry cunt. You felt a hint of embarrassment to think that you shouldn't be doing it, but each time she teased you about how young or naive you were, or how easily you'd get Joel into trouble if you two were cornered in a physical confrontation you felt like shooting her.

You were petting a beautiful horse named Caramel he was one of the gentlest ones you've seen and you had to admit you felt a little jealous when someone took him on patrol. You only trusted Joel who was always careful and respectful with animals, he knew they meant a lot to you, and he always made sure to take good care of them.

"So, are you and Joel a thing?" Sage broke the silence and looked at you.

You were caught off guard by her question.

Were you and Joel a thing? Technically no, but technically yes.

You thought you were emotionally attached to him enough to say yes, you both shared a bed, holding each other in your sleep, you had literally showered together once, but much to your dismay, you knew the answer was no.

"Well, we're partners, we've known each other for a few years, we traveled together to Jackson and we share a house… I like Joel, a lot" you let it slip, though it was an understatement, you felt much more than just like him and though it was pretty obvious to anybody, you felt regret immediately, you shouldn't have told that woman that, and it didn't help when she laughed out loud at you.

"Yeah yeah yeah, you have the heart eyes for him, no one is that stupid not to see, it could be cute if it weren't pathetic really, but I mean are you two fucking?"

You looked at her with so much anger but your silence was all she needed to have her answer.

"Good to know that, I'll make a move on him, it's about time I find some good fuck around here, not to mention Joel will definitely enjoy a real woman"

You couldn't stop staring at her, you wanted to ignore everything she was saying but you just couldn't hold yourself back, you knew you were about to get hurt but you did it anyway.

"Why pathetic?" You asked "why do you say liking Joel is pathetic?" You reframed your question.

She furrowed her brows and then chucked

"Oh please Y/N… isn't it just cliche? You fall for your savior, your protector, but he's much older than you, yes, Joel's hot but he could be your dad… he knew the world before things went to shit, she's met women, do you think he would be hooked on a little girl like yourself? Of course you probably clean up and cook for him, and he sticks around, gives you some of his attention, maybe crumbles of affection, but it's only because you are a comfortable option for him. Men like Joel need real women, not weak girls like yourself"

A mix of anger invaded your veins and spread all over your body, you wanted to punch that smug expression away but you knew you didn't stand a chance. She was stronger and she wouldn't hesitate in hurting you.

"Listen, Sage I-" you were cut off by Joel who called your name.

You turned to him and saw him stepping closer, at the same time the woman put on a smile on her face and you could swear you saw her opening her jacket some more, so she'd expose her cleavage.

You groaned under your breath and looked at Joel.

"Hey, I didn't know you were coming here" you told the man, finding it odd as you knew he had some services here and there with Tommy through the town.

Joel scratched the back of his neck and gave you one of those embarrassed looks he often did when he needed you to help him, so you were sure he was thinking of an excuse.

"Tommy asked me to check on the horses" he told you and glanced at Sage, who kept watching your interaction in an intrusive way, making him not uncomfortable… that was not the word, it was making him angry.

"Well, you can see the horses are alive" you chuckled though your smile didn't meet your eyes and he could tell you were upset over something.

When Sage made a sudden movement, Caramel got agitated and took a step back, you could tell the animal didn't like nor trusted her and well, you couldn't actually blame him.

You walked to Caramel and carefully held his face between your hands, having a lot of eye contact with him "shh, it's okay, you don't have to be afraid, it's just Joel and me" you reminded him, pecking his fur so gently and caressing him.

Joel watched in awe as Caramel immediately calmed down. He could never admit it out loud, but the reason why he ditched his own lunch break and went after you was just because he wanted to see you dealing with the horses.

He didn't know how you did it, but you've always been so good with animals and kids. They all seemed to like and trust you instantly. It's like a sensibility that he never had. But even when you were on the road, you'd still look out for stray cats that would appear here and there.

When you two got to Jackson and you volunteered for working with the kids, his heart tightened in his chest. Whenever he saw any kids he couldn't help but think of the time he was a dad himself. Of course his sweet Sarah was already a beautiful young lady when he lost her, but she was once the sweetest child he'd ever seen, she used to like butterflies and watch princess movies with him.

The way you paid attention to the kids around, and played with them, made him think of how Sarah never had that with her mom, but you seemed like you could be a great mom, and he was once a good dad, so maybe one day you two could…

And he stopped himself right there.

He was going nuts, he was sure of it, that was the only explanation to have delusional thoughts like that.

You looked at Sage and how she wasn't going anywhere and sighed.

"I'll take Caramel for a walk, I'll see you later" you told Joel and smiled, though he could tell it was a sad one.

He nodded softly and watched as the winter sun made you glow while you took off with the horse.

Sage smirked and took a few steps towards Joel, she was finally glad to be alone with the man and licked her lips.

He saw her approaching and took another step towards her, closing the distance before them. He could see her excitement, her anticipation and her joy to have him so close, she was sure he was going in for a kiss but all he did was point a finger toward her face.

"What goes on between Y/N and I is none of your fucking business. She owes you no explanation and if I ever see you taunting her or talking shit again, you'll pay" he said angrily. "You are the pathetic one, not Y/N, she's much more of a woman than you will ever be" he barked at the woman and turned his back to her.

When he was getting to the stables earlier that day, his mind was cloudy as he thought to himself if he should do it or not. Joel had crossed too many lines with you, he'd promised himself he wasn't going to touch you, to lead you into thinking he could ever be a good partner or give you anything romantic. His biggest fear was waking up some day and seeing you fall for him, you didn't deserve that burden, he wasn't a good person, he wasn't a good man, he wasn't a good partner, boyfriend or husband. You were too good for him and he could never succumb to the temptation of having a moment with you. But you made it all so hard for him, you were all the time so sweet, so gorgeous, you cared about everybody, but above all, you cared about him.

For the first in twenty years he had someone doing something without expecting anything in return. He didn't have to trade favors or rations of food, all you did was make sure he was alright and you were so painfully kind, like people weren't anymore.

So Joel's nightmare shifted slowly, and instead of fearing you would fall for him, he realized he had fallen for you.

And he'd fallen hard.

He was so ashamed of that realization, how could he just wake up one day and be in love?

But it was too late, Joel had it bad for you and the morning he came to the stables he didn't just want to watch you deal with the horses, he wanted to ask you out.

It wouldn't be a big deal, of course. He'd invite you to go to the bar, have a couple of drinks and take it from there. It would be a nice change to just staying home like you always did. He was having his hopes high enough to even maybe see you doll up a little for him.

He spent the whole morning gathering courage to ask you, but as soon as he got behind the stable and overheard you mentioning his name, he stood as silently as he could, curious to know what you had to say about him.

His heart raced the moment he heard you liked him…

You liked him, but how? As a friend? As a man? Joel closed his eyes and prayed to the Lord you didn't like him as a dad. That would be the end of him.

But then Sage opened that sewage she called a mouth and she ruined it.

He had hoped you would brush things off, you gotta know him better than that, he thought, to know he would never go after a woman like that. But then he saw your sad eyes, how upset you felt and he knew she had ruined things up.

•••

You spent the whole afternoon away with Caramel, you two settled in an open space, where he could rest and play around while you thought about what Sage had said.

Comfortable.

You were a comfortable option for Joel.

But was that all you were for him?

No, that witch couldn't be right, he cared for you, he liked you, surely not the way you liked him, but he thought of you more than a comfortable option, right?

You felt a pang in your heart the more you thought of it, because what if he didn't? What if that was exactly what you were for him, just someone easy to be with, someone who would cook and clean and keep him warm.

He never told you love words, he never touched you the way you longed to be touched, so then, what was all of that to him? Did he even care if you just went like Sage and tried finding yourself a lay for the night?

You shook all these thoughts away, you didn't want to feel bitter about might-have-beens, plus the sun was setting down and you needed to be home before dark.

You took Caramel back to the stable, saying goodbye to him and headed home.

When you got there, you could see Joel was wearing his flannel shirt and his nice jacket. He had just gotten out of the shower and…

Was he wearing cologne?

You frowned softly at seeing him like that and felt your heart drop to your toes at the realization he was going out. Possibly on a date with Sage. Of course, you had left them together, you'd handed a platter of meat to the lion.

"Hey Y/N…" Joel said in his hesitant voice, you said hello and sat down on the couch.

"So darling… I'm going out tonight.."

There it was.

You tried your best to hide your jealousy and bitterness.

"Alright, have fun" you replied with a small smile.

And Joel stood there, like a moron. He stared at you but words didn't come out of his mouth, all he had to add was a few words. He just needed to ask you out. The worst that could happen would be you saying no. Of course it would break his heart, but he went through worse so he figured he would overcome things.

You looked up at him with a puzzled expression, why was he still staring at you?

"Do you need anything, Joel?"

"You"

You widened your eyes and gasped.

"What?"

"You heard me, Y/N, I need you… to come with me, of course" he quickly fixed what he'd said but you knew there was more to it. Your heart raced as you got up and walked to him, holding back your smile.

"You don't have a date with Sage tonight?"

He frowned and shook his head immediately dismissing the idea.

"Not with her"

You closed the space between the two of you and leaned closer, Joel also leaned in, his heart hammered his chest, waiting for the kiss that never came. Instead, you whispered into his ear:

"I'll go get ready"

•••

You walked through the Jackson streets together, shielding yourselves from the wind. It was a cold night, but the sky was clear and the moon was shining brightly. It didn't matter if the temperatures were low, it just felt so good to be walking with Joel. He offered you his arm and though neither of you mentioned anything about your weird interaction earlier, you were pretty sure that was a date.

Joel still didn't tell you where you were going, but anywhere with him would be good enough.

He looked down at you as if he had read your mind.

"So… I haven't really thought of where we could go… I didn't think you'd say yes" he gave you a shy smile and looked away.

"Why wouldn't I say yes, Joel?" You replied and slid your hand down his arms, finding his hand and entwining your fingers together.

"Come with me" he said as he thought of a perfect place you could go to.

At first, you thought he was taking you to the stables, but then, you walked around it and went for the hills, where you climbed it and sat down comfortably.

"I thought it would be nice to see the moonlight or something" Joel shrugged and looked at you "sorry, I'm nervous, I haven't been on a date in so long" you felt a warmth in your heart and you held his head making him look at you.

"It's perfect, it reminds me of when we were on the road, you didn't really like me back then, but we had some good times" you chuckled softly and felt Joel's hands on your hips, holding them with a soft grip.

He scoffed.

"I've always liked you, but you always made me run out of patience" he admitted, making you laugh.

"Maybe, I was cranky, but I think I've gone soft, and it's your fault, sweetheart"

You looked into his eyes and then at his lips, you felt your heart pounding as Joel's grip on your waist tightened and he pulled you towards him.

You felt his lips against yours for the first time and it was so much better than you could ever imagine. The way your skin burned at his beard brushing and how he deepened it. You felt his tongue on yours and what began as a slow, gentle kiss, turned into an urgent, fiery one.

You moaned into his lips and tugged his hair, as you broke the kiss, Joel panted softly, worried he'd done something wrong but he smirked as you straddled him and sat on his lap.

"Are you sure you want this, darling?"

He mumbled against your skin, kissing down your neck and kneading your ass gently.

"I've never been so sure, Joel. I need it"

You whispered to him, enjoying the moonlight bliss with the man you loved.

_____

A/N: it wasn't my best work, but I just wanted to make Joel have a happy moment 🥺

[jackabbotsfakeleg]

Which 5 characters are your favourites in the pitt?

IT'S LIKE PICKING A FAVORITE CHILD. I'll choose, but it's going to be a hot take (and in no particular order)

ROBBY

We stan a motherfucker who can run an ED while also experiencing a menty b, all while still supporting his staff and making sure his bff doesn’t dive off the roof. He’s seen some shit, doesn’t abide by wearing scrub bottoms, and looks like he hasn’t gotten 8 hours of sleep in years. But he’s funny, and he’s supportive, and he shows more empathy for patients in one shift that I can sometimes muster in one week. I’d trust him with my life, on his worst days, even in the middle of reciting prayer while crying. 

2. ABBOT

MY GUY. Prior war medic who you know has definitely seen enough shit to make him both funny and traumatized. We both flourish in the dark. He’s no bullshit, calling all the questionable shots, and rarely panics. You know you’re going to be waking up with some makeshift medical device saving your life in a MCI. Definitely number one on my active suicide list, but cute as a button. I would follow him anywhere and would give him all of the free therapy. 

3. MEL

A neurodivergent princess, and she’s got a bangin’ spotify playlist. Number one lava lamp fan, so you know she’s a PRO at mindfulness. Cries at the right times and is empathetic and smarter than most of the people there. Is definitely a top tier sister and I would bond with her so hard, as I also have a problem with picking up social cues. I would bet money that if you asked her how 2 and 7 are alike, she’d say, “they’re both sharp.” 

4. DANA

I can’t imagine my life without her. That place will burn to the motherfucking ground the second she retires and she’d probably watch it happen with a cigarette in her mouth. Probably has a huge dog at home and bakes a badass lasagna. Knows every patient and keeps that place running smoothly. Ain’t no finding out for Dana, because that queen does not fuck around.

5. MOHAN

She’s smart and tortured and reminds me so much of myself in graduate school. Burns the candle at both ends. She’s an absolute machine but cries in the bathroom when she’s got a free five minutes. Cares more about learning about her patients and doing good work than being quick, and I can appreciate that on so many levels. Flirts with Abbot because IYKYK. Would literally fight anyone who tries to be mean to her. Would trust her with my entire family’s life. Would bring her lunch everyday to remind her that she is important.

And an honorable mention for SHEN

I know people don’t often call him one of their favorites but I am him and he is me. A typical millennial, letting the chaos happen because some boomers made him this way. Dark humor, sarcasm, an affinity for Dunkin’. Probably has Abbot and Robby in his phone as “old dad 1” and “slightly older dad 2” in his phone. Will never attend a staff meeting but will never panic. Definitely fucks. Probably does cocaine socially. 10/10 would be his absolute best friend and biggest cheerleader.