#both activities might be connected
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been busy but theres 2 things ive not stopped doing:
listening to ptv obsessively. help
loving y.uuta. obssesively as well
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I saw The Brutalist yesterday, and after digesting it, the one thought i keep coming to (perhaps unfairly; it is a great movie) is that i find the amount of sexual violence is films nowadays very disturbing. Not that it's not a theme worth exploring, or one that can't ever be brought up in a meaningful and respectful way, but this over representation suggests that society at large is becoming more accustomed to it. I really do think we owe it to the generalisation of porn. By my account, in 2024 alone, we had sexual violence, outright rape and/or sexual exploitation appear in (spoilers):
The Brutalist
Anora
Joker 2
The Apprentice
Dune 2
The Count of Monte Cristo (2024)
Nosferatu
Alien: Romulus (for those who haven't seen it, yes, it's exactly as bad as you imagine ie: not a metaphor)
The Bikeriders
Love Lies Bleeding
It Ends With Us
Megalopolis (sort of)
Babygirl
Better Man
That's just at the top of my head.
Even in films which don't involve explicit rape, sexual scenes are often violent or imply violence, either physical or psychological. Violence to others, AND violence to the self. Like the sex scene in The Substance between Sue and her no-name boyfriend, in which she is very dominant and aggressive (which is not depicted as a good thing because this sexual power she gained from a new young body is just an illusion of power). Better Man shows the casual exploitation of young men including at least one minor in a very sexual setting (gay clubs) to make their producer money. In Babygirl, the main character's professional career and personal life are threatened by her "submissive/dominant" "role play" affair. etc. etc.
There is also a recurring theme of wanting to escape one's body or transform it (Emilia Perez, Nightbitch, The Substance, Conclave, A Different Man, even Better Man to an extent are all examples of this), which seems connected, especially when body horror is involved.
I don't know, maybe i'm exaggerating, but it really feels like there is this constant anxiety surrounding sex which permeates all art forms because it's a real societal concern, and i truly believe the ubiquity of violent pornography is to blame. I can't think of a single scene of genuine, loving sex. Or even a genuine romance in general.
It's concerning and no media outlet is really bringing it up (because it's uncomfortable to think about, probably, but still).
#it's like… the West and especially Americans have always been a bit disturbed about sex but this is reaching new heights#of both obsession and fear#on the one hand i wonder if it's not also tied to the fact that women are playing more active characters and are more visible in films now#if you compare the oscars noms in 2015 to todays it's OVERWHELMINGLY male-centered#so you might think it's connected. except. of the films i've mentioned at least three or four have (explicit or implied) male victims#so what gives???
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Milchick goes on an Epigrammatic Cruise Excursion. [Patreon | Commissions]
#'that isn't a proper use of the word epigrammatic' yes. but have you considered it is a good replacement for the word 'elongated'?#bea art tag#seth milchick#severance#I need to see him talking to a non-lumon person outside of work I have to see the extent of his weirdness#We've seen him interact with Devon and their outies but that was all in a work capacity so it makes sense for him to still be using#lumonspeak but y'know it strikes me how uncharismatic and unnatural he is when compared to Natalie talking to Ricken#Like it's evil of course and Ricken seems easily swayed by praise but Natalie DOES manage to charm him and I can see why - she seems#far more personable with how she acts than Milchick does when they're pretty much tasked with the same damage control#there's always a distance from Milchick...there's never a sense of truly connecting even in moments where he's being kind or pleasant#AND with the newfound knowledge that [SPOILERSSPOILERSSPOILERSSPOILERS DON'T KEEP READING] Milchick IS actively trying to make life more#pleasant for the innies it really recontextualizes things like him being so frustrated about Mark just leaving the balloons out in the hall#or him asking if he really thinks he's a shambolic rube. The idea that he might have been GENUINELY hurt by these things and that he is#GENUINELY trying to be kind and warm to these people is both deeply funny and deeply sad because of how clearly bad he is at it#it makes me wonder if he has any friends - if he's EVER had any friends. Does he have a life outside of Lumon?? Does anyone care#if Seth Milchick lives or dies?? Does HE have anyone he cares deeply about? Who's he when he's at home?#He rides a motorcycle and he knows how to dance - has he ever danced with anyone?#severance spoilers
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it doesnt even make sense for this to be possible but you said "they can tug on it and the other person can feel it" and now im obsessed with the goofy ass visual of someone pulling their red string so hard the other person at the end physically falls down
YEAH SNDKDKD in my "sonic and tails red string of fate au" tails is SUFFERING. sonic is running laps around the planet and tails hust wants to work on his inventions but he keeps getting all tangled up. and because their connection is a lot more open, they can feel more things through it, so they absolutely can annoy each other with it if they wanted. oh youre not answering my texts sonic?? I KNOW youre not busy and I am grabbing the string and balling it up batting it around like a kitten good luck trying to ignore me now
#im making this up right now and might disregard it later but:#the stronger connection you have the more Noticeable the string is. more tangent?#and building/maintaining the connection is something both activity have to want and try to do#so sonic and eggmans string is easier to ignore#it was probably at its strongest before the met and that time period before eggman showed his true colours#egg.txt#ask#inkiew#soulbond au
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SO UHHH IA GANG.... HOW WE FEELING ABOUT THIS
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#homohollers#item asylum#10 hour burst man#dude 10hbm lore drop was not what i expected but#IM GONNA MAKE SO MUCH FUCKING ANGST OUT OF MY THEORIES FROM THIS.#i saw a comment in the description of the song saying this might be alluding to when you bird up in 10hbm??#i noticed some similar instruments from too many trumpets in the song too#they also pointed out that both the apocalypse bird and 10hbm live in a dark forest#and they both wield the twilight and its peace for all#im noticing some slight similarities to another leaked song i cant talk about#this definitely sounds like a 10 hour burst man stress theme though#it sounds sad but also panicked#as if hes having a breakdown in the form of a song#the melodies also sound slightly distorted and choppy#adding to the idea of this being a stressful song#apparently the original name of the song is also “sounds of the painted sword”#a painted sword/clayman p run song converted into 10 hour burst man??#thats certainly scary#the fact that the video is also filtered with red adds to the idea of a clayman connection here#this is honestly a pretty funny idea of there being a 10hbm/clayman song with painted sword connections because#i once. clutched a public server 10hbm round with painted sword. when he still had like 2000-1000 hp#i love LOVE 10 hour burst man more than any of the other bosses#and i love aden mayos music even more#i will forever be making theories about her music#im pretty sure now i have good reason to believe that new jgns bosses and possibly even updates to old bosses are coming in the next update#ive never been more excited#oh also something else#this gave me a new headcanon for 10hbm#he cant. speak very well. so he speaks slowly and slightly broken#the 10hbm activation voiceline also sounds very crunchy
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thinking about. womanhood again
#been thinking about how much of the way i have let some kind of womanhood in as a fragment of my identity is infleunced by me thinking that#'well people are going to gender me as a woman anyway so might as well accept it'#and i think that's a part of it (not a thought i overall enjoy. feels somehow defeatist or like i'm giving in or whatever.)#(which i dont think it is but it's a kneejerk reaction)#i do also think that the way i have been actively trying to unpack some of my internalized misogyny has a part in it#i'm not proud to say that i did grow up as a girl who thought womanhood (as it was presented to me at the time)#sounds stupid and way too much effort and unrelatable#but now that my view of the different ways to experience and relate to womanhood have broadened#i can say that i do feel some connection to it. even if i dont usually really claim it as wholly mine#and that acceptance has made it easier to be perceived as a woman in my day to day life#i'm not saying it never stings but. isk it's a bit different#i have said it before but the main thing that bothers me is being seen always and only as a woman.#like i can be a little bit of a woman and Kind Of Like a woman or a close approximate of a woman#but if Woman is all people see my gender as that stingsss#just like being seen solely as a man stings too#(this doesnt happen often so usually it feels more like a fun gender sprinkled in.#or like. it affirms my gender by telling me that i can confuse people)#like. i'm not really a woman i'm not really a man but those are the two options currently recognized by most of society#so a mix of both feels like the best case scenario for me personally genderwise#because gender neutral terms dont always just. hit the same for me as mixing gendered ones does. this varies greatly though#but also i would like to. hm. how to say this. not make that into a rule for myself? i dont want to overthink it#(<- says a guy who has never not overthought anything)#like i have been finding a lot of joy in dressing a bit more masculine in the last year which is wonderful#but sometimes i find myself stressing that if i look 'too masc' people are going to misread my identity more often#because i have a masc leaning chosen name and all#but i try to remind myself that. bitch people are going to misread and misunderstand your gender no matter what you do. relax#but idk. anyway abolish gender so i can start stressing over something else#nowe talks#gender
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So when does french actually use "on"? I was taught back in school that it's equivalent to the german "man" which we basically use as a passive third passive singular kinda like "one shouldn't do that" (which obviously english doesn't use much but it exists)
But I'm now doing the duolingo french course from english and there they consistently translate "on" with "we". In some sentences both versions make sense, but I just got "Ils savent qu'on va en Australie" which the english translation "they know we're going to Australia" makes sense but the translation I learned back in school for this would be smth like "they know, one goes to Australia" (or "sie wissen, dass man nach Australien geht*)
Which.... Is a completely different meaning that doesn't make a lot of sense like "one goes to Australia"? What? Is that just a common thing one does? Would only make sense for like, idk if this is about middle class germans doing a gap year after high school, bc yeah sure there going to Australia sure is a common thing to do
But if my french teacher was wrong and it's actually always "we" then... When do I use "nous" and when "on"?
Languages are confusing and I am doing three way translations here trying to make sense of everything, it's hard lmao
#learning french#duolingo#langblr#I'm doing the french course from english bc originally the german version didn't have the stories and all that and i wanted those#it might have them now idk#and it's good bc i think it helps to connect all three languages in my mind#(it also hurts bc now i get false friends from BOTH like travail is not a false friend from german but it sure is from english bc travel)#but english has... a lot less nuance i think than french or even german#like i need to actively remind myself to switch between formal and informal and different genders and such#in a lot of the type in responses just so i practice doing both and don't default to tu#and in this case I'm just like... duolingo is just treating 'on' like another 'nous'#which... that's not what my teacher taught me but okay#she was wrong about many things anyway so idk
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In light of Brian Thompson being shot dead on my birthday (🎉🥳🎂) I'd like to share a personal story about UnitedHealthcare.
During the peak of COVID, my family all got sick. I couldn't be on my parents' insurance because they were both older and on Medicare. So, I had insurance through my University: UnitedHealthcare.
For some reason, rather than roll-over each year, I got a new plan each year that ended after May and didn't start until August, so I was uninsured for the summer months, but it was a weird situation that the university denied, and told us we were supposed to be insured year-round, it was messy.
Both of my parents went to the hospital, and I got sick too. I had to take care of my pets, and myself, and try to stay alive and keep my pets alive when I was so weak I could hardly move. When my parents came home, my condition got dramatically worse (I think my body knew it couldn't give out, because there was nobody to take care of me, so once my parents were okay, it completely crashed and failed.)
I started experiencing emergency symptoms. It was a bit hard to breathe, my chest hurt, and I was extremely delirious. I wanted to call my insurance to see if I was covered (this was during the summer) and I was connected to some nice person, probably making minimum wage, who told me with caution in her voice that my plan was expired. I had no active insurance, but she urged me to go to an emergency room. I remember saying something to the effect of "You just told me I don't have insurance, I can't go to the hospital, I can't afford it."
She sounded so genuinely worried and scared. I remember she said "You really don't sound good, you sound really sick, please call 9-1-1" and I think I just said "I can't afford it without insurance, don't worry, I think I'll be okay."
And she paused and said "I don't want to hang up the phone with you like this." And it sounded like she was holding back tears. And I don't remember what I said, I think that I would be okay, and I hung up.
I still think about her. I wonder if that phone call haunted her, or if she had dozens of calls like that a day. I wonder if she thinks about it at all, if she wonders if I died after she told me I didn't have insurance and therefore couldn't go to the hospital without incurring a tremendous financial burden. I wonder if she feels guilt or blame-- of course she shouldn't, it wouldn't have been her fault if anything had happened to me. Maybe it's self-centered to wonder if she thinks about it. I'm not the main character and it was just her job. But, still.
I think about how evil it was that we were put in that situation. Because offering year-long continuous coverage through the university plan would maybe cut into profits, maybe not benefit shareholders enough, maybe cut into Thompson's $10 million salary. While his minimum wage administrators have to feel afraid to hang up the phone, because on the other line someone might be dying, and they wouldn't know. While his patients hang up and decide to take their chances rather than put their family through that trauma.
This is UnitedHealthcare. This is Brian Thompson's legacy. This is why, understandably, an entire nation is jubilant that he was gunned down like the vermin he was. I don't care about his widow. I feel pity for his children, despite the fact that they will inherit millions, but I feel more pity for the children of his victims patients who are gone because they didn't want THEIR children to inherit crippling debt. Brian Thompson got what he fucking deserved. I pray that he not be the only one. I pray for continued safety, peace , and anonymity for his killer.
American healthcare is a disease.
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#lil video games rant bc the people I’d usually rant to are on the other end & im very upset/sad#destiny 2 new dungeon dropped this week & me and a friend were clearing it#brought a friend’s brother that we both only tolerate in today to clear it#I’d been enjoying learning about the dungeon and how to do it as we go bc I like learning and experiencing with friends#but other friend’s brother has done up to and attempted third and final encounter and friend has DONE encounter#which was already kinda :/// but we#I figure that I basically know how the encounter works from videos I’ll be fine#we get there and they just totally leave me in the dust. I might as well have not been there#like I am not a part of the mechanics doing and I’m barely killing enemies#because they’ve both done this and know how to do it and I came in with a “well I mostly know and I’ll pick the rest up’#sounds small but I felt very othered and burdensome#I felt like an afterthought#and all the fun of the whole thing was taken out because I wasn’t a part of the mechanics doing and I wasn’t getting to figure anything out#I was in a room by myself trying to look for symbols to be helpful and also trying to figure out how to shoot some things we needed to shoot#and when we got to damage the boss they activated a kill mechanic before I had a chance to get to the safe zone#felt like I was dead weight#and it’s worse because of how much friend and I have talked about other friend’s brother barely knowing anything about the game and…#flexing what little knowledge he has#like that makes me look bad#and on top of all of that like… this is the one dungeon where I’m just straight up in another world of understanding from friend#he completely gets it and I don’t#I will ///never/// be helpful in that encounter because I will ///never/// get it the same way#because he went and left me the fuck behind#so now any desire I had to run that dungeon is dead#and I was so excited for it before but now I’m just kinda… averse#idk none of this sounds that serious when I type it but this is the one way I have to connect to these friends#so it kind of just sucks that others have run away on their own when we’ve always done these things together#like… I’m sorry that I play the game to play with friends and not to Be The Best or Get The Weapon or Complete The Objective#they both know I’m upset so maybe it’ll be different next time but idk I kinda don’t wanna do this again
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since dia de los muertos got mentioned on the tl yesterday bc of that dp post i rb i highly recommend listening to this podcast ep to learn more abt the history of how dia de los muertos and how it's actually been thoroughly bastardized in our modern day both in the u.s. and mexico and has strayed far away from the indigenous communities it originated from
#i learned alot from this ep and it was interesting/important to hear both a queer zapoteca educator and an indigenous scholar talk abt this#from their perspective as indigenous ppl#it was wild finding out that dia de los muertos was brought to u.s. not thru mexican immigrants#but thru an italian american catholic nun in LA who ran the self help graphics which consisted of mostly chicanos#after introducing to film abt dia de los muertos that's where they got the idea to send those artists to oaxaca#to see how the ppl there celebrated it and the aesthetic of it and bring back to u.s.#the speakers mention that while this might have likely been way for these artists to reconnect bc they have roots in mexico#they didn't necessarily have connections to the communities they were observing and ended up ultimately stealing from#bc regardless of intent this is still a form of cultural appropriation#and it's honestly a symptom of a larger issue w/n the community when it comes both the diaspora and ppl living in mexico#bc of this prevailing notion that we are all mestizo and/or indigenous when that's not true#it's ultimately a mindset that actively harms actual indigenous ppl living in mexico who are still actively having their cultures be stolen#and/or erased and fighting for their rights and recognition from the country at large#even if some mexicans have indigenous ancestry they're still not culturally indigenous#that matters bc mexico has and still continues to adopt aspects of indigenous cultures but exclude indigenous ppl#it's the commodification of indigeneity basically#so when it naturally spread to different parts of u.s and they started introducing aztec dancing to it#(which i can only assume was bc dia de los muertos can traced back to the aztecs and maybe that's why it got added#but even then just bc ur mexican don't mean u have connection to the aztecs again going back to the 'we are all indigenous' myth)#this eventually leads to the face painting and ppl dressing up like calaveras and catrinas that you now see today#and one of the ppl hosting this ep mentioned how when it came to the face painting while it is a thing in mexico nowadays#this wasn't a thing according to where this person grew up in mexico#mexico obviously adopted bc it's just as capitalist as the states and will profit off indigenous cultures/the aesthetics of it#so when it look how commercialized the celebration in the u.s. w party city selling catrina costumes#stores like michaels and target selling decorations#hell disney making coco the fact they wanted to trademark dia de los muertos and when researching for the film#profited of the real life stories of oaxacans who were never compensated btw#like when you take in the full picture it's no longer a surprise of how we got here#robi rambles
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Pluto’s Placement Can Tell You Your Influence & Impact, here is a breakdown by house
Pluto in the 1st House
Pluto in the 1st house indicates that your greatest impact in this lifetime is on other people’s lives. Your power and influence are directly connected to how you show up in the world. By being authentic, confident, and true to yourself, you help others in profound ways. You inspire people to see themselves more clearly, grow their confidence, and live authentically. You encourage others to become more conscious of who they are, both aesthetically and on a deeper level. You help them tap into their truest selves.
As a Pluto in the 1st house person, your biggest influence lies in your immediate environment. You are likely the most powerful person in the room, in your family, in your classroom, or at your job. Your power lies in your ability to influence others—getting them to open their minds, change their behaviors, and view things differently. You’re a true influencer, capable of inspiring transformation.
Pluto in the 2nd House
Pluto in the 2nd house suggests your greatest impact is connected to finances and values. People with this placement often influence money and material possessions, either by attracting wealth or shifting how others perceive and value resources. These individuals are resourceful and tend to accumulate finances or material gains effortlessly, even if they aren’t working a high-paying job. Their presence often brings financial blessings to those around them.
Additionally, Pluto in the 2nd house individuals transform others’ values. For example, if they value love over money, they influence those around them to shift their priorities toward love. Their impact leads people to live differently, teaching them new ways of valuing life and its resources.
Pluto in the 3rd House
Pluto in the 3rd house shows that your impact comes through communication and intellect. These individuals are natural teachers and conversationalists who have a profound influence on others through their words. They encourage people to open up, become more talkative, and express themselves freely.
When you’re around a Pluto in the 3rd house person, you’ll likely learn things you didn’t know before. They teach, share knowledge, and help others understand complex ideas. They also have a unique ability to bridge communication gaps, fostering dialogue between people who might not normally connect. Their power lies in their intellect and their ability to spark conversations that inspire growth.
Pluto in the 4th House
Pluto in the 4th house individuals make their greatest impact through family and emotional bonds. They are nurturing, deeply connected, and create relationships that feel like family, even outside of blood ties. Their bonds are never superficial—when they connect with someone, it’s meaningful, comforting, and lasting.
These individuals often attract people with difficult or dysfunctional family backgrounds. Their purpose is to provide a sense of home and belonging, teaching others what it means to be truly cared for. They guide and nurture others, showing them what a real parent or family member should be. Pluto in the 4th house individuals create tight-knit connections, offering love and support to those who need it most, helping them heal and grow emotionally.
Pluto in the 5th House
Pluto in the 5th house indicates the greatest impact comes from inspiring others to enjoy life. People with this placement are focused on making life fun and meaningful, encouraging others to embrace joy and live passionately. They help people let go of being overly serious or rigid and instead learn to enjoy what life has to offer.
These individuals often bring positivity and uplifting energy into any room. They are the ones who introduce new, exciting activities that others may not have tried before, sparking an interest in new hobbies or passions. They influence others to prioritize living with passion—not just chasing money, routines, or obligations, but focusing on what truly brings happiness.
Pluto in the 5th house individuals are often the most fun and engaging people in any setting. Their presence encourages others to relax, enjoy themselves, and find fulfillment in life’s pleasures.
Pluto in the 6th House
Pluto in the 6th house influences people the most through health, healing, and service. These individuals are highly aware of their own health and often have an uncanny ability to detect health issues in others. They can quickly notice if someone is burning out, eating poorly, not exercising, or lacking sleep, often before the person realizes it themselves.
Their influence is deeply healing. They bring balance and relief to others, helping to reduce stress and encourage healthier habits. People around them often find themselves improving physically, emotionally, and mentally. They are natural healers who might thrive in professions related to health care or wellness.
Pluto in the 6th house individuals help others live longer, healthier lives by guiding them toward balance and relieving excessive habits or stress. Their presence has a profoundly transformative effect on those they encounter.
Pluto in the 7th House
Pluto in the 7th house impacts relationships, offering a unique perspective on how relationships function. These individuals have a sharp perception of relational dynamics, quickly spotting flaws, toxicity, or strengths within partnerships.
They can deeply influence couples, either strengthening healthy relationships or exposing and breaking apart toxic ones. Their presence often leads to transformation—couples may grow stronger and closer or realize their incompatibility and separate. This influence extends to friendships and family bonds, where they can either create unbreakable ties or bring hidden issues to light, causing division.
Pluto in the 7th house individuals also have a natural talent for counseling or mediating relationships, helping others to build healthier, more fulfilling connections.
Pluto in the 8th House
Pluto in the 8th house is deeply connected to intimacy and personal power. These individuals have a magnetic presence that often leaves a lasting impression on others. Their intimate relationships are intense, and they have the ability to deeply affect those they connect with physically and emotionally.
They also influence power dynamics. Their presence can make others question their own sense of personal power, pushing them to grow stronger, more resilient, and more self-aware. People often feel challenged to improve themselves—whether financially, emotionally, or intellectually—when they are around a Pluto in the 8th house individual.
These individuals inspire transformation in others, often serving as catalysts for personal growth and empowerment.
Pluto in the 9th House
Pluto in the 9th house influences others through expansive thinking, philosophy, and new perspectives on life. These individuals push people to think more deeply, challenge conventional beliefs, and explore different ways of living. They often inspire others to question their worldview and adopt more authentic ways of living.
Unlike Pluto in the 3rd house, whose influence is immediate and localized, Pluto in the 9th house impacts people on a broader scale. These individuals thrive when they uproot themselves and move away from their hometown or comfort zone. Their power is most activated when they are in distant places, where they are seen as leaders, intellectuals, or visionaries.
Their influence often emerges as they encourage others to embrace diversity, explore the world, and deepen their understanding of life’s complexities.
Pluto in the 10th House
Pluto in the 10th house wields the most influence through career, reputation, and leadership. These individuals are born to take on powerful positions and often excel in business or professional environments. They are natural leaders with a strong ability to maintain control, manage conflicts, and build successful enterprises.
Their influence is tied to their ability to inspire others professionally. Whether as a CEO, manager, or entrepreneur, they command respect and guide those around them toward greater achievement. They often leave a lasting legacy in their career, and their professional reputation is a key source of their power.
Pluto in the 10th house individuals are driven, resilient, and have the stamina to excel far beyond others, often creating significant success in their chosen fields.
Pluto in the 11th House
Pluto in the 11th house is most impactful in group settings and collective causes. These individuals have a unique ability to bring people together for a shared vision, often leading groups toward progressive, humanitarian, or transformative goals.
Their friendships and social circles reflect their values and aspirations, and they tend to surround themselves with like-minded individuals. They inspire others to dream bigger, think deeper, and work toward creating a better world.
Pluto in the 11th house individuals are often catalysts for social change. Their influence helps others see the bigger picture and work collectively to create meaningful progress in their communities or the world at large.
Pluto in the 12th House
Pluto in the 12th house holds immense spiritual power, influencing others in ways that are often unseen or unconscious. These individuals bring out hidden emotions, repressed thoughts, and unresolved wounds in those around them. Their presence encourages deep self-reflection and healing.
They often help others confront their shadow selves, bringing to light the parts of their psyche they’ve ignored or suppressed. This influence can feel intense, as people around them are compelled to delve into their inner worlds, process their fears, and explore their spirituality.
Pluto in the 12th house individuals inspire profound internal transformation. They help others let go of superficial concerns and connect with their deeper, more spiritual selves. Their influence fosters healing, introspection, and personal growth on a soul level.
#astro notes#astro observations#astroblr#astrology#astro placements#astro community#aries#cancer#capricorn#gemini#astro posts#astro rants#astro reading#astro love#astro thoughts#astrologer#taurus#leo ♌️#virgo#libra#scorpio#saggitarius#aquarius#pisces
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God, I'm so happy with what they did with Maddie Nolen.
I'm sure there will be plenty of people mad because obviously there was a weird backlash over a character who has sex with one half a ship, so I'm sure some people worry this will lead those people to feel justified in their initial response.
But ignoring people who can't emotionally regulate for a second, because those childish impulses aren't worth dictating the fun things a narrative can do: Maddie is SO INTERESTING as a character and she fills in a lot of the questions people seemed to have about the rest of the season.
Consider for a moment that it wasn't Caitlyn who convinced Vi to be an Enforcer. It was Maddie.
I know that some people took this line to be about Zaunites, a sort of obvious connection to the very racist idea of "one of the good ones," but since Maddie is talking about Marcus and his betrayal of the Enforcers just before this, I'm pretty sure her framing here is something else. The point she's making is specifically targeted at Vi's own beliefs and weaknesses, her desire to protect. That seems clear to me now with all we know about Maddie's capacity for manipulation.
She's not saying, "You're good, for a poor."
She's saying, "Wow, I agree with you, the Enforcers are really bad; it's so upsetting. I think you might be the only one who can change it, but only if you join us." This is what convinces Vi to do something she never thought she would.
Well, this and the fact that Caitlyn believes in her so much which, again, is information she gets fed to her directly from Maddie. It even seems like Maddie seeks her out just to say this, which on first viewing felt oddly convenient. Wow, Vi just happens to meet this naive girl who just happens to say exactly what she needs to hear to do something so out of character.
Except obviously none of it was coincidence. Everyone already knew how much Vi meant to Caitlyn and getting Caitlyn under control would require either controlling Vi or removing her from the equation. This was a push in that direction.
Then there's her more obvious role as the spy in Caitlyn's bed, there to reassure her that the Noxians are only trying to keep all of them safe. Then when Caitlyn expresses larger doubts, she's immediately ready to lay out an alternative. You could just give up, Maddie seems to whisper gently in her ear. Just reestablish things as they were before.
But she knows Caitlyn isn't going to go for that. She's not going to go back to the council as it was, because it's only going to remind her of the empty place her mother left behind. Maddie knows that Caitlyn isn't going to take this offer, which is precisely why she suggests it. She frames quitting as the only clear alternative to going along with everything Ambessa wants because she knows that Caitlyn will refuse, which leads her right back into alignment with Ambessa. She makes continued obedience into an active choice that Caitlyn affirms she's making.
Even Maddie's comments that suggest direct opposition to Ambessa — "you're our leader... I follow you" — are designed to frame herself and her true leader in direct opposition, just as Ambessa's own warning about entanglements is there to further that point. They both make a point of reminding Caitlyn that they are her true ally, isolating her further from anyone who isn't the devil and (other) devil on her shoulders.
This way Maddie and Ambessa can both tug at Caitlyn, pulling in what feels to her like opposite directions, all so that she lands precisely where they wanted her all along but with the illusion of active agency.
And look, I'm not saying my read on her is gospel, because I think they intentionally gave us enough room to really speculate and wonder about her, someone who could have been just a background nothing character but ends up being such a huge part of the second season. That's so interesting!
I especially love that she comes across as really naive and innocent, just some poor little thing swept up in the fervor, when in reality she's a true believer who has been manipulating things to go her way from the start.
#maddie nolen#arcane#arcane s2 spoilers#arcane spoilers#when maddie first showed up my immediate feeling was ''oh noooo they made a sweet and innocent cop''#BUT NOPE.#they did NOT and that's so fucking funny
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Dancer 🤝 Helmet being low empathy despite literally having different flavors of mind reading
#rat rambles#eternal gales#Im like 75% sure Ive made this post bit shhhhgh#any old blog posts might as well not exist#anyways helmet has more general mind reading while dancer ironically has emotion reading#but they both still struggle to rly. connect with the emotions they detect#especially for helmet since their mind reading is near constantly active so it all just feels like white noise to them#dancer's is only rly active when hes particularly stressed out or just otherwise feeling strong emotions#because of how his body works it takes a lot less stress or excitement to activate his abilities than your average stalien#but yeah his emotions reading is smth hes very rarely benifited from since it just feels the same to him as like watching someone be#visibly upset#aka he doesnt rly connect with these forien emotions at all he can sometimes like name what they are but it doesnt rly click as real to him#during his crashes this tends to be one of the big things that hes ashamed of as he sees it as a personal faliure even tho its not#helmet's low empathy is also linked to trauma mostly from yknow. being surrounded by dying children for several years.#they struggle a lot with letting themself see the ppl around them as fellow living beings and even those they do care abt can sometimes#feel a lot more like concepts to them than people#dancer and helmet have a very. complicated relationship because of all of these factors#dancer actually hated helmet at first due to how quickly busy started liking them#but once helmet started giving him free stuff and just generally being nice to him he warmed up to them pretty quick#the two of them are pretty chill friends but after the initial ok cool guess I have a friend now 👍 period some quiet conflict arose a bit#mostly in the fact that the others abilities make both of them quite paranoid#dancer is trying to manage it but helmet is like 100% convinced that of dancer ever reads their emotions he'll learn that they secretly#are an uncaring husk (theyre not) and he'll think theyre a monster (he wont)#theyre both just so scared that the other secretly hates them and theyre both alergic to communication so its just them dying slowly#meanwhile busy is just sitting there going 'I can fix them' at the both of them (she cant but shes kind of helping at least)
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Abstaining Game
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Pairing: dbf!Joel x Reader
Summary: The only thing worse than an anti-sex retreat is an anti-sex retreat with your former fuckbuddy and dad’s best friend. Especially when sharing one cabin.
Warnings: 18+. IF HE AIN’T GRAYIN’ I AIN’T STAYIN’ 🗣️ [Age gap]. Unprotected p-in-v. Forced proximity. Joel making you fuck just his middle finger when he’s mad. Daddy kink. Overstimulation. First-time squirting. Angst.
Translations: ‘Don’t piss down my back & tell me it’s raining’ is a fun Southern phrase for, ‘Cut the bullshit’ or ‘Don’t lie.’
Sequel to Waiting Game & Hating Game (last rhyme I swear)
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
October 26, 2024
Dear Joel,
Roses are red,
We’re a couple of sluts,
Abstinence camp is awful,
I miss you rearranging my guts.
You were just about to put your pen back down to paper and add the finishing touch, signing an equally lascivious farewell, when the letter was snatched out of your hands. A tyrant in khaki capris and an artichoke-colored polo eyed over your words with a pointed look and frowned.
“Letters to the boyfriend have to be G-rated,” Marlene said, crumpling the thing in her fist before chucking it.
“He’s not my boyfriend,” you returned shortly. Then, “That was actually meant for my dad’s friend.”
You sat tight a moment as the dots came to connect in the woman’s parochial and prudish mind—waiting for the wince of disgust to twitch at the corners of her eyes when she put two and two together. Once it did, you grinned. Even when she plucked the pen out of your hand and told you to sit outside, if you can’t participate in this one simple activity, you smiled bigger and strolled at a comfortable pace out the canteen door.
Anti-sex ‘summer camp’ wasn’t bad at all when you didn’t give a fuck what your counselors told you to do.
It was ridiculous, really. Absurd. Tommy Miller catching you sucking his brother’s dick under the table at your father’s birthday dinner, losing his shit with you both, then threatening to tell your dad everything if you didn’t agree to this stupid retreat and stop seeing each other. You’d barely been trapped in the shithole for twenty-four hours, and you already knew this angle wouldn’t work.
What many of your fellow campers affectionately called the ‘Firefly Fuck-Free Zone’ or the ‘Federal Dickriding Response Agency’ (F.E.D.R.A.) was in fact a secluded enclave south of Austin where khaki-clad monsters forced you to reckon with your sexual urges like one might treat a mutated strain of the Cordyceps fungus. You weren’t meant to keep them for long, and if you did, someone like Marlene would surely shame you for it.
Frankly, Tommy was dumb as shit if he thought this anti-boinking boot camp would have an effect on either one of you—Joel wouldn’t ever bang you again after what happened that night, but it wouldn’t be because of some arts and crafts bullshit he did out on a FEDRA ranch.
He just didn’t want your dad to find out and kill him.
That was a fair concern to have. You didn’t blame him.
Presently, you kicked your feet up on the porch outside the cafeteria, where the rest of the group was finishing up letters to their loved ones—this latest activity was meant to be ‘making amends’ to the people in your life—and you tipped your head back to survey the landscape.
Nothing but sweetgrass and gently rolling hills as far as the eye could see. Somewhere across the plains there was another cluster of cabins, though you couldn’t quite see it, and someplace within that minuscule cluster, you knew there was a middle-aged man. Dark grey eyebrows furrowed in concentration and chest heaving gently. Likely hunched over an old oak desk about five sizes too small for his frame as he gripped a pen and scribbled:
Dear Tommy,
Fuck you, you fucking fuck.
Sincerely,
Joel
You grinned again just thinking about it.
If anyone had a reason to be ticked off and terrified, it was Joel. And you, you guessed. You still hadn’t gotten your period—but that wasn’t due for another few days.
For now, you’d settled on worrying yourself over what would happen after the retreat had ended; what would you and Joel do once you went back to school? What would become of his life back in Austin with a supremely pissed off brother and a best friend who didn’t know his kid had been fooling around with a man twice her age?
Silently, you thanked your lucky stars Joel’s part of the camp was kept separate from yours, because you didn’t think you’d be able to keep a straight face if you saw him.
The whole thing was sickening, if not slightly funny.
You slipped Joel’s old pack of American Spirits out of your boot and fished in your back pocket for a lighter.
Then you crammed both back when you heard a boom:
“LAKESIDE GUIDED MEDITATION STARTS IN FIVE.”
The tinny intercom rang a deafening pitch in your ears. You clamped a palm over the left side of your head and winced, having forgotten this exercise in mindfulness was supposed to be the last event to wrap up your day. You just wanted to slink back up to your cabin and sleep. Or eat. Or slip your fingers between your aching legs and indulge in some much-needed Joel Miller reminiscing.
Then you recalled how masturbation was also off limits to all would-be sexaholic campers—if there was any time to sneak off and get busy by yourself while your counselors were otherwise occupied, now would be it.
Just as you cast a glance over your shoulder to see if a stealthy exit was even possible, a voice trilled overhead.
“On your feet, skank.”
You looked back fast, and damn did Tess look smug.
Your bunkmate crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the doorframe, seeming to feel your thoughts before they’d even been fully processed.
“If you skip meditation, I think Marlene’s gonna take you behind the rec and shoot you in the head,” she added.
“How kind.”
“Yeah? Certain death?”
“Better than the dick deprivation,” you grumbled, only half-kidding as you dragged yourself back to your feet.
Theresa Servopoulos was no avid fan of penis herself—she much preferred women when she had her pick of it—but she grinned all the same and clapped a comforting hand over your shoulder before the two of you started walking down the mess hall’s front steps. Then she only laughed a little bit when you almost ate shit treading down the winding rocky trail to the lake and cursed your present lack of intercourse for causing your clumsiness.
“You realize it’s only been, like…a day, right?” she said.
“Might as well be a million,” you muttered, “I feel like I’m never getting laid again.”
“Oh?”
Tess gripped your elbow when a root protruding from the path nearly sent you flying again. She tried not to smile.
“Well…my fake brother’s mad at me for going behind his back and fucking his brother,” you explained, coolly.
Stupidly.
“Wait—you fucked your brother?!”
That stopped Tess in her tracks. The two of you were approaching the cusp of a clearing, just feet away from where the forest gave way to the shoreline of the lake. Folks were already congregating at the water’s edge.
“Any day now, ladies,” Marlene called through cupped hands. Tess was still regarding you with eyes the size of saucers as you traipsed across the way to that voice.
“Not my brother,” you hissed.
“You said your brother’s brother. That makes this guy your brother, too,” Tess whispered—still far too loud.
“Not my actual brother, he’s just— fuck—”
Suddenly, two scraps of red fabric were catapulted in your direction. Tess caught one. You caught the other.
“Tie ‘em over your eyes.” Marlene ordered.
“The fuck?” you mumbled, but ventured nothing more as you were ushered to join the group sitting cross-legged on the ground in front of you. Everyone else was tying bandanas around their eyes like all of this was normal.
“Another trust exercise,” Tess’s voice was low as you dropped your asses one after the other on the sand. Speaking like a seasoned veteran of the anti-sex retreat, she helped you get yours on and shot you one last ‘You-better-not-have-actually-fucked-your-sibling’ look before letting you help her secure her blindfold, too.
Just as Marlene began describing in great detail what this blind, guided meditation in self-love and elemental trust was meant to look like, your friend opted to give voice to her concerns the second the opportunity arose.
Still seated side-by-side, still blind, Tess leaned over.
“Please tell me you’re not here for bangin’ your brother.”
You had to stifle a laugh.
“I am not.”
“Then explain, Cersei!”
Just then, a throat cleared behind you. Evidently another camp counselor at your rear was telling you, wordlessly, to shut the fuck up and listen to the instructions. You and Tess just scooted closer and lowered your voices.
“So this guy, Tommy…he’s been like a big brother to me for years. Worked with my dad and always had my back for the wild shit I did back in high school,” you began.
“Uh-huh.”
“His big brother, Joel, is like…old as shit, but wildly hot.”
“Dangerous combo.”
“And Joel’s my dad’s best friend. Drove me back from college over fall break when he was visiting Boston, we took a little motel detour on the road trip home, and bam—” You snapped your fingers for effect, “We fuck, right?”
“Right.”
“—imagine you’re standing at the edge of a waterfall—”
Marlene couldn’t be serious with this hippy dippy shit. You tuned out the rest of what she said and continued:
“It’s incredible. But the condom busts open at the end—”
“Oh shit.”
“—deep breath in…and release…and again, we—”
“Freak the fuck out, right? I’m poppin’ Plan B like candy.”
“As you should.”
“—hold that breath in right there—”
“A week later, me and Joel hook up at my dad’s birthday party. Only we fuck up, ‘cause Tommy catches us, and—”
This time, the counselor who’d cleared their throat to shut you up took to nudging you both in the back with the toe of their shoe. You straightened up, tilted your head back, and scowled at them through your blindfold.
“Do you mind?” you said, turning in place but unable to see anything behind you. You imagined whoever had just butted in on your conversation was probably frowning. They said nothing in return, just huffed like a child.
“Anyway.” You pivoted back to Tess, “Tommy flips his lid, tells us he’s gonna snitch on us to my dad if we keep fucking around like that, and then he…sends us here.”
You heard your friend fight back a chuckle beside you.
“And abstinence camp is supposed to cure you of this awful disease? Wanting to fuck daddy’s best friend?”
Oddly, you wanted to giggle too. You weren’t sure what was so funny, or why Tess’s tone made you want to say something equally out of pocket and lewd, but then you were leaning over before you could even think twice:
“That old man’s dick is like a fuckin’ drug, dude.”
You wished you could’ve seen her face when you said it. But you didn’t need to catch a single glimpse to know she was grinning big and dumb when she whispered,
“Prehistoric cock must’ve been pretty nice, huh?”
You choked. She snorted. You returned, next, shortly,
“Best senior citizen schlong I’ve had in my life.”
You weren’t sure which one of you burst out laughing first. Maybe Tess. Probably you. Either way, both of your sides were splitting in seconds, as the ridiculous and just marginally offensive descriptors for Joel’s dick trembled at the tips of your tongues. You felt like a teenager again, telling your friend your filthiest desires for the DILF-next-door—except this time, you’d actually fucked him. Small perks to seeking out middle-aged men in your twenties. You had to clamp your hand over your mouth to rein in the peals of laughter as Tess wheezed quietly beside you.
Then you felt hands.
Two palms under your armpits, yanking you up.
You stumbled back, graceless and still staving off half a laugh as your back struck the counselor’s chest.
“Just…take her back up.” You heard a female’s voice to your left, low and not sounding particularly amused.
Take you where? Was this the part where Marlene dragged you behind the rec and shot you in the head?
About damn time.
Whoever had grabbed you grunted in acknowledgment. You swayed in their arms, trying to regain better footing, but the grip tightened up in a second and thrust you sideways. You staggered, cursing your captor.
“Fucker,” you hissed.
Fucker said nothing.
Their hands slipped from your pits to one of your wrists, leading you away from the lake in long strides. You were moving so fast you scarcely had the chance to pull the blindfold back, so you just kept walking. Marching.
“Can you slow the fuck down, please?”
You imagined the face of the person leading you forward might’ve twisted in a scowl. Their lips didn’t stir, though.
In a matter of minutes, your feet were crunching on the flat, gravelly terrain you knew to lay under the cabins. This person was leading you back. Likely to throw you off to your room in the next several moments—but not before ripping you a new one for disrupting the peace back down at the lake. You weren’t stoked to hear it.
“Alright, just—” You tripped as you were led up the rickety steps, cursing again, “—just leave me right here.”
A set of knuckles at your spine thrust you forward.
“No? Okay. Fine. Whatever.”
You shook your head as you entered the cabin and heard footsteps follow you in. It occurred to you then that now was probably a good time to take off the blindfold.
Before you could, though, it was ripped off for you.
“Pack your shit.”
Dude.
You spun on your heels.
“DUDE!”
Your eyes moved up the very khaki shorts you despised, the puke-colored polo, the neatly embroidered camp logo, and a nametag strangely labeled ‘Lucien Flores.’ Everything in the ensemble screamed ‘camp counselor.’ But the face above it—it wasn’t one of their own at all.
It was far too lax. Fresh with an easy, shit-eating grin.
“Sweetheart—”
He started to speak, only to get the wind knocked out of his chest when you threw your arms around him.
The barrage of kisses came without you ever really intending to place them at all. You were just so stunned, practically overcome with joy to see Joel Miller in all his ruggedly handsome glory, then confused. What was he doing here, and why was he dressed head-to-toe as a counselor? And why were you so into that on him?
You doubted you could even ask the questions, and he was barely more able to answer the longer you stayed latched to his neck, kissing him everywhere your mouth could get to. You’d just stood on tip-toes to press your lips to his when you realized he wasn’t reaching back.
His hands hung limply at his sides. Still, he smiled.
“Abstinence camp ain’t taught ya much, has it?”
You parted your lips to drag your teeth along the grey-spattered scruff on his cheek—biting but not quite. Begging him to kiss you back, grab your ass, anything to quell this anguish twisting low in your stomach at the lack of contact. Joel didn’t seem keen on answering to it.
“I’ve learned plenty, Miller,” you panted against his jaw, before moving below it to sink into the skin of his neck, “Lemme show you all the stuff FEDRA told us not to do.”
Yes, you sounded desperate. No, you didn’t really care. You were much too busy fiddling with the front of Joel’s shorts to concern yourself with anything but his cock. It made it all the more gut-wrenchingly horrific and disconcerting when you felt his hands push yours away.
“No,” Joel said, simply. Then, nodding to your luggage at the foot of your bunk, “Pack your stuff, sweets. C’mon.”
He was seriously trying to break you out?
You admired the cojones on the man, but you wanted to fuck real quick to get it out of your system. Needed it.
“Joel, I—” You swallowed thickly, shaking your head.
What your mouth couldn’t finish, your eyes said clear as day: I want you to take me right here. Quick and dirty. But, again, Joel seemed completely impervious to your pleas. Almost callous in the face of such a desperate request made from your eyes to his. He moved over toward your suitcase when you didn’t want to budge.
Luckily for you, you’d never unpacked. All that was left were the clothes on your back and a water bottle on the nightstand. Joel grabbed the latter and turned around to snag the suitcase on his way to the door, when he was met with you. Obstructing his path and frowning a little.
“Joel?” You raised a brow.
“Mm?”
The man in front of you straightened up, rolling a nonexistent kink from his neck before regarding you.
His gaze was alarmingly sedate.
“Y’know, you’ve got quite the knack for makin’ shit difficult—”
“Just a quickie, Miller—”
“I ain’t fuckin’ you here!”
The sudden boom of his voice should’ve startled you. But then a broad, warm palm came to rest on your shoulder, and Joel’s expression dropped immediately. There was still a tightness to it, somewhere deep within, and you couldn’t quite work out why he seemed so…off.
Then you caught sight of something steely in his gaze.
It just might’ve clicked if Joel didn’t reach for your face and elucidate things for you himself, eyes narrowing.
“I know my old man dick is like a fuckin’ drug and all…”
Shit.
Cheeks squished between his two big hands, you had only to stare. And blink. And silently regret being so loud when you were talking to Tess before. It didn’t look good.
“Joel—”
“No, no, my senile brain must be mistaken—it was actually that prehistoric cock that did it for ya.”
Your face heated with shame. You blinked again.
But just as you tried to shake your head between Joel’s hands, he pressed his palms tighter and drew you closer.
“Senior. citizen. schlong?” he intoned, painfully slow.
“Joel, I just—”
“Need to fuck someone your own age, it sounds like.”
The man in front of you released your face just as fast as he’d grabbed it, and when he stepped back, you couldn’t help but feel a pang of desperation. That wasn’t what you’d meant! It sounded so puerile and cruel coming out of his lips like this, but you had to tell him it was a joke.
“It was a joke.”
No time to mince words now.
“Real fuckin’ comedic genius,” Joel snorted.
He rolled his eyes and tried to sidestep you, but you mirrored the movement. When your hands flew to his chest to keep him from moving, please, just listen to me, Joel, he pretended not to hear it, or feel it, against him.
“Alright. Enough,” he muttered, “‘S’time to go home.”
“No!”
“No?”
“No.”
For the first time, you saw Joel’s nostrils flare. You pressed into his sternum again, hoping to hold him in place so you could explain yourself, but it seemed he wasn’t planning on staying stationary. Joel dropped to your bunk—or Tess’s, technically—and situated himself comfortably on the bed before shooting you a look. You barely had had a moment’s time to contemplate your next move when he yanked you onto the cot with him.
Joel didn’t try to kiss you. He didn’t attempt to remove one article of clothing from your body or his. He just sat there, staring, while you straddled his hips staring back.
“If you wanna fuck me so bad, go right ahead,” he said, motioning indistinctly in front of him, “Be my guest.”
When you stilled, he added, “That is all y’want, right?”
With your palms laying flat on his chest and a head full of conflicting thoughts—you did want to bang him, obviously, but not before you’d gotten a chance to set things straight, not when he was looking at you like this—you chewed your bottom lip. Certainly you couldn’t continue while Joel still believed you were embarrassed by his age, his lips downturned and humorless as ever.
“C’mon,” he tried again, a touch more venom laced in his words as he spoke, “Show me how much ya want it.”
You needed time to think.
“Why are you…dressed like this?” you said, stalling.
But Joel wouldn’t be kind enough to give you that time.
“Stole the uniform so I could sneak out and over here and get you out. Are we gonna fuck now or what?”
His hands moved over your own to guide them to his lower half, just above where your clothed core was touching his. Your fingers moved mechanically, almost reluctantly, to undo the button and zip of his shorts.
Was that a flash of hurt you saw in his eyes?
You’d never been good at this communication bullshit. Neither had Joel. The two of you would probably just have sex now to hash out your feelings, as was par for the course for a pair of emotionally stunted individuals. It still pained you to see him look at you like that, though.
“Tess and me were just kidding, baby.”
You palmed the bulge in his boxers and heard him grunt. When you nudged his cock out of the fabric to stroke him, his eyes fluttered shut and he sucked in a breath.
“I would never say those things to hurt you,” you added.
“Didn’t hurt me none,” Joel returned instantly. Then, feeling you flick the pad of your thumb over the head of his cock, he exhaled and held his face firm in place. Like he didn’t want you to see the effect you had on him.
You let go of his cock to take off your socks and shoes. Then your top. Then your shorts. Then you slid down his body a little, unsure if this was the time to be trying something new. Or even doing this kind of stuff at all.
At first, you just sort of lowered yourself to Joel’s groin, his dick resting comfortably between your tits. Then you started to move, and your hands were cupping either side of your breasts to push inward on his member. Before you even fully knew what you were doing, you were squeezing Joel’s dick with the soft, supple flesh and stroking him gently. Gaze glued to him all the while.
His eyes cracked open to catch you watching him. Evidently, Joel couldn’t contain all of his reactions, because he audibly groaned when you got going.
Sliding your tits up and down his shaft, feeling him pulse between them. Sensing a warmth pool in your own lower half but being too focused, and slightly ashamed, to act. You just wanted to make Joel feel good, even if your words weren’t able to do the trick with apologizing.
“Come here,” you beckoned him with just one finger as you slid off the bed, to the floor. Joel sat up, and you kneeled obediently between his legs. The two of you shared a tense, sexless look for a second before you lowered yourself back down and resumed the position.
This time, Joel could—and did—stir his hips to create some friction between your tits. His brow pinched inward with a muted concentration, and you wanted to say it looked handsome on him, that you were sorry for saying those stupid things to Tess and making him doubt your affection for him, but you kept your mouth shut. You had to remind yourself that emotions had no place between two needy, unfeeling people who just wanted to fuck.
Maybe that was how it should’ve been from the start.
But watching Joel’s face twist and contort in pleasure nearly wiped the thought clean out of your brain forever.
You felt many things for him, whether you liked it or not.
You really wished you hadn’t said the things you’d said.
Joel braced his hands at the edge of the bed on either side of him, hips working a steady pace to fuck your tits. He was staring mostly at the spot where the head of his cock was poking up through your cleavage with each thrust, entranced by the sight, and in a second, a full-throated moan was fighting its way out of his chest. He spit in his hand and paused to smear the stuff on his shaft, on your tits. Spit again and rubbed even harder.
Seeing him so cold and detached, you wanted to apologize again. Maybe beg him to say something kind.
Instead, you mumbled, “I love it when you fuck my tits.”
Joel scarcely acknowledged the remark, just letting you work yourself over him, meet his shallow thrusts, look sweet and wait patiently for him to cum all over you. When it seemed he might be ready to do it, though, Joel withdrew from you the next second and moved back on the bed. He pulled you into his lap, straddling again, but this time situated over the side of the bed—him sitting up, you perched on the flat, sturdy expanse of his thighs facing him. In the space between your bodies, Joel slid a quiet and almost careless hand to your heat, flicking the sheer fabric of your panties to the side in one go.
The moment his fingers made contact, you flinched.
It wasn’t that you were opposed to his touch, you just felt unfairly balanced in this situation. Joel appeared so stoic; you, a complete and utter wreck. Fighting fifteen different emotions at once and feeling unusually vulnerable spread open to him now, you almost didn’t register what he was doing—or what his hand might find.
Joel’s groan brought you back, though. When he rubbed his knuckles over the seam of your cunt and practically choked out twice his lung’s capacity, you had to look.
Aloof as he tried to be, the man’s desire was painted all over his expression. And his crotch. And his hand.
Well, actually, that last bit of arousal was yours.
“Fuckin’ soakin’ me, sweetie,” Joel breathed.
You perked up at the term of endearment. Watching one glistening fist of his make its way back and forth against your body, smearing sticky wet pleasure all over your mound and your folds, you found yourself gnawing your lip once more, this time for entirely different reasons.
Joel seemed to soften—even if only for a glaring carnal need, you didn’t care. You sank into this gentler touch.
“Khakis kinda suit you, Miller,” you said, off-handed.
Really, Joel looked almost as comical as he was sexy in that camp counselor getup: tan shorts stretched tight over even tanner legs, polyester top sitting pretty on wide, hulking shoulders, that silly stitched logo for the camp emblazoned over his left pec, and, of course, the nametag that didn’t belong to him but to Lucien. The whole thing was so alien to his lumberjack-chic demeanor that he nearly seemed boyish. Endearing. Some spearmint-scented hottie you might’ve had a crush on at camp years ago. You couldn’t help but smile.
Joel tried not to hold your gaze for too long.
“Don’t go pissin’ down my back and tell me it’s rainin’.”
When he slid one finger to your entrance, you tensed again, but smiled just the same and let out a breath. You felt him prod at the warm, wet skin and thumb at your clit, and something told you that he’d wanted to grin too.
“I’m serious,” you said, “Scout’s hon—ohfuckfuckfuck.”
Joel pushed one finger inside you. In spite of the ease with which he slipped between your walls, that gentle sensation made it wonderfully snug. He gripped your hip and started moving his single digit in and out, and in spite of yourself, you squirmed a bit. Joel never failed to call you out for doing that; today would be no different.
“Easy, sweet pea,” he hummed when you jumped again.
But you couldn’t help it. Your hands quickly anchored themselves to Joel’s shoulders, your legs spread wider, and your hips started stirring—bucking, really—against each teasing touch. It was still just one thick finger of his.
You glanced down and saw that it was his middle finger, in particular. The double meaning wasn’t lost on you.
“Another,” you pleaded.
“Nuh-uh.”
“You’re a mean ol— mean man.” You tried to correct course when you felt a mention of ‘old’ slip back into your vernacular, and inwardly, you cringed at your words.
Joel had already heard it. He cocked one eyebrow.
“Mean ol’ man?” he scoffed, still fingerfucking you softly. When you bucked against it, he nodded as if to say ‘fair enough.’
Then, before you could chime in, he nodded some more.
His expression was hard.
“Fuck my hand,” he said.
“What?”
“You heard me.”
You weren’t quite sure what he meant for you to do. When he nodded a third time, the gesture was accompanied by a quick dart of his eyes to the place where your cunt was being penetrated by his one finger. He curled the finger inward, and when you twitched at the hot throb of pleasure that followed, he grunted.
Fuck my hand.
Nails still searing tiny half-moons into his shoulders, you acted more out of impulse than by command. The look from Joel sure didn’t hurt, though. The second you started rolling your hips, he nodded again. Holding onto his praises for now and simply showing approbation.
“Like that,” he murmured.
All you were doing was rocking back and forth over his finger, whimpers percolating quietly in your chest, but the act alone made you feel desperate. And Joel smug.
It was like he wanted to see you getting off to this one, comparatively smaller part of him without being filled. Bucking plaintively to find that fullness and coming back empty every time. Your whimpers turned into whines.
“Need more,” you keened.
“Yeah?” Joel replied gently.
“Yeah.”
A beat, then:
“Tough shit.”
But he said it so goddamn sweet you had to do a double take to make sure you’d heard him correctly. When you met Joel’s eyes, you saw a hint of amusement lingering behind them. Then he squeezed your hip again and started helping you move into his hand, up and down.
“Only givin’ more fingers to good girls, y’hear?” he said.
“What about your cock?” You couldn’t help it.
Joel just breathed out through his nose. In a second, he went from camp counselor to disapproving father figure.
“Greedy little thing, ain’t ya?”
That was all he needed to say, but the firm plunge of his middle finger certainly put a finer point on it. He curled the digit again and, upon grazing that spongy surface inside you, saw another desperate plea in your eyes.
And pleasure.
The pleasure ran almost as intense as the desperation.
Your head fell back when Joel got to making those ‘come hither’ motions again and again, thumb circling your clit, eyes trained on your figure with a marked concern. Like the prospect of not drawing an orgasm out of you in the next two minutes might very well ruin the man’s night.
“‘S’alright, honey,” Joel said quietly.
Then, finding your gaze when your head tilted back,
“Be a good girl and let go for me. Let go for daddy, hm?”
Fortunately for him, that one low hum and another flick of his middle finger and thumb were all you needed to find your release. You came on his hand with a sharp, pitiful cry and a ‘Fuckthatfeelssogooddaddyplease,’ hips working feverishly against his hand as you rode out your high. The sight of you bouncing up and down on his open palm and the way your eyes rolled back, begging him to fuck you full of his cock next, felt wildly obscene.
Joel loved obscene. Needed obscene. Hot. Febrile. Raw.
He nodded again.
Before you’d even descended fully from those staggering heights, his finger was moving too—joined by two more. Joel stuffed his index and ring fingers inside your still-pulsing hole and pretended not to hear your soft cry.
After all, you’d asked for more before. Joel was just sating your desire; your overwrought body would be fine.
“Joel,” you hissed, seizing his wrist.
“Too much?” he returned.
You tried to verbalize some answer but were cut short by a punishing stretch—all three fingers plunging in and out of your sensitive, drooling cunt and making it full of him.
“Too soon?” he tried again.
“I—”
“Too fast?”
“N—”
“Too…old?” Joel pressed after a beat.
There was an air of feigned condescension in his tone as he took on a faster pace gliding his thick, calloused fingers between your walls. You might’ve screamed if you hadn’t found your forehead pressed to his and the warmth of his irises boring into yours while he did it all. At this distance, you could discern a trace of hurt again. Something needing to be soothed inside Joel Miller.
You rutted your hips and shook your head, skull still stuck to his as you did so. Whimpers coming low.
“I didn’t…mean it,” you managed at length.
“What? That I’m ‘old as shit but wildly hot’?”
Joel wedged his fingers straight down to the knuckle and nearly tore a shriek out of your body. His eyes were surprisingly soft. Making sure your pleasure was all there.
“Hyperbole,” you choked, voice hoarse.
Then your jaw grew lax when a hand cupped your chin. All you wanted to do was melt into Joel, but you sensed something brewing again behind those honeyed eyes. Blinking was all you could do to keep your composure.
“You’re right, darlin’,” Joel said, “I am too old for you.”
Right after a clench in your tummy, a hurried word leapt up to your tongue, ‘NO!’ and you had to swallow a moan to keep from succumbing to the pleasure Joel was bringing with his fingers. Sandwiched between two orgasms was no time for a serious argument to take place, but there you were, fighting against it anyway.
“N-No,” you stammered. Stupid.
“I am.” His voice came softer somehow, more resigned.
When outright rejection of the claim seemed futile, you tried to pivot. Climax still closing in as fast as ever.
“I don’t care about that,” you hissed, exhaling hard when the first ripples of bliss crept up toward your stomach.
Joel watched you with careful eyes.
“Yeah? And Tess?”
“Joel—”
“Or Tommy.”
“I don’t—”
“Everyone else?”
Almost against your will, those minuscule ripples turned to waves of full-blown euphoria, and then you were clenching again on Joel’s hand and crying out in climax. You willed your gaze not to stray from his, but it was tough. Especially when the eyes beneath your own seemed so fucking morose and removed from you.
Don’t do this to me, Miller. Don’t do it, don’t do it.
In the wake of what should’ve been consummate satisfaction, you found yourself retreating to a place more akin to starvation—suddenly eager to get your mouth over his and start kissing, tonguing, and scraping your teeth like you’d missed out on a full week’s worth of meals. Feeling selfish but also uncertain how else to proceed—was Joel Miller breaking up with you here?
You couldn’t be sure, because he kissed you back. Joel kissed you and cupped your cheeks, then chased your frame all the way down to the coarse, scratchy sheets of the bed, where he was quick to climb on top of you.
Hell, it seemed breathing was too tough to accomplish with your frenzied pace and the continuous stream of open-mouthed kisses placed anywhere and everywhere. A groan from Joel trembled between your lips as you helped him get his shorts and boxers the rest of the way down his legs—all but dragging them with your heels—and he tightened a fist in your hair when they were off.
“I shouldn’t’a come here,” he mumbled.
“But you did,” you panted.
Both of you got lost in another onslaught of kisses, and you tried not to sigh. Joel was still battling something.
Even as he peeled your panties off and lined himself up with your entrance, he seemed resolved to stay quiet. Holding your gaze and not saying what had to be said.
He was a lot like you in that way.
You kept kissing him anyway.
The events that followed seemed to you little more than fleeting, happy scenes from a film you’d always wanted to see—an eager Joel, a caring Joel, an I-don’t-think-I’m-physically-capable-of-holding-you-any-closer Joel. The weight of his cock a welcome friend and the kisses somehow far too intimate to be considered friendly at all. You’d almost forgotten you were at a camp designed to prevent this very thing from happening between two stupid, impulsive people like you, and you didn’t care.
All you knew was a yawning stretch—that aching, empty void filled to perfection by Joel’s member—and the shockwaves of pleasure that vibrated in bands all the way down to the balls of your feet. You felt safe and secure caged between two muscular arms, and you reveled in a warmth that spanned every inch of your body touching his. The weight suffocating and somehow not oppressive; Joel cradled your head to make sure of it.
“Ain’t…hurtin’ ya, am I?” he said when you winced.
You shook your head against his sweaty palms to say that he wasn’t; you were just adjusting. He scanned your face for any trace of insincerity but found nothing.
In this tender position, your brain was ready to burst—whether from guilt, shame, ruthless self-loathing, or a sobering sense of closeness, you weren’t sure. All four seemed to form the impetus for the words that came next, which were soft, repeated apologies against Joel’s mouth. He swallowed each one without a second thought.
“Quit sayin’ it,” he rasped, low.
“I’m sorry, Joel, I’m sorr—”
Soft lips again. ‘S’okay, honey.’
You weren’t sure why, but your face felt extra hot.
Joel pressed his thumbs on either side of it while he kissed you and went deeper. Then he squeezed even more, and your breath hitched quietly in your throat.
Aw, shit, he could probably feel your heart running amok in your chest and thrumming like crazy right now.
“Ain’t nothin’—” Joel paused to send one measured thrust along your cervix, “—to be sorry for. Nothin’.”
Your legs tightened at his sides when his hips started to snap in quick, stuttered motions, desperate for more friction and depth. He got both, and he groaned feeling you tighten around him as he filled your cunt to the brim. The silky warmth of your walls drawing him in was almost too much, and every now and then he’d have to slow to mutter some, ‘’S’fuckin’ chokin’ me, honey, ya feel that?’ or ‘This pussy’s just made to take me, huh?’
Joel asked like he actually needed the reassurance. As if the slick, dripping arousal coating his length and the sounds of your whimpers mixed in with those wet slaps weren’t enough—as if he had to have deeper consolation.
He was splitting you open and looked guilty as he did it.
Still shaking with each thrust, you helped him slide his shirt over his head and bring him bare, chest-to-chest with you. You couldn’t ignore the tension any longer.
“Joel, I fuckin’ love— I need you inside,” you managed.
“You do?”
“Uh-huh.”
His face softened.
“‘S’mine, isn’t it?”
He said it so fast you couldn’t make out if it were really a question or a simple statement of fact. His balls routinely smacking your ass, eyes searching yours, always gentle.
“Say that you’re mine.”
No, Joel—don’t do that, don’t say it like that.
Your visceral reaction was to recoil. You couldn’t because he had you pinned, but damn did you want to—not him, not this, not now, Joel, why would you fucking say that?
The look in his eyes now surpassed the hurt from before. It was open and aching, even as he drilled your body in two at a near-ruthless pace. Asking you so sincerely.
The obstinacy inside you was almost laughable. Damn near sent your head spinning in a fit of hysterics at how much you wanted to say but wouldn’t; how much you sensed lay waiting to fly off Joel’s tongue but couldn’t. If you were any more emotionally pent-up you might’ve ruptured a blood vessel and lost all ability to think.
It didn’t help that you were both about to cum.
Or that Joel’s right hand was fumbling for your clit.
His expression was steady as ever when you jumped, made a whining noise below him, and grabbed his wrist. You looked down to where your bodies were joined and got a dizzying glimpse of that sight: cunt swallowing Joel’s cock repeatedly, pleasure pooling between your two bodies, then a digit at that little bundle of nerves.
He kissed your hairline and hummed.
“C’mon, pretty girl. Whose pussy is this?”
His thrusts sped up, along with his thumb.
“Don’t.” Not an answer but a warning: tread lightly, Joel.
He kissed your forehead again. And again. For a second you thought he might stay that way until you both came, but then his lips were finding yours, mumbling softly,
“Say no one’s gonna fuck you but me.”
“But—”
“None of those pencil-dick douchebag Delta Sigma whatever-the-fuck ya call ‘ems—” Joel continued, unfazed, “—not your lab partner, not your hallmate—”
His cock was gliding in and out of you at a punishing pace now. Wonderfully slick with sounds obscenely piercing to your ears. You could feel Joel digging in the depths of your tight, throbbing cunt, could see his expression contort with much the same pleasure you were experiencing yourself, and could very well smell the faint aroma of American Spirits still staining his breath. Joel Miller was a sick fuck for what he was doing to you, and he knew it. You nipped at his lower lip in between tender kisses and quietly-spoken words, and whimpered.
“—not your TAs, not your professors—” he pressed on.
You opened your mouth to let a lewd moan escape when Joel lifted his hand to shove a thumb inside. Instinctively, you sucked the whole thing straight down to the knuckle.
“Nobody but me, y’hear that?” Afforded better leverage with his finger wedged between your teeth, he shook your head a little as he fucked you. Watched you bob and nod a wordless ‘yes’ in doe-eyed complaisance while his cock drove shockwaves of pleasure straight through you.
He rubbed his thumb back and forth, and you let him.
You drooled all over that man’s finger like it might’ve been supplying oxygen to your lungs, and when Joel leaned in and said, ‘Ya like that, sweet pea?’, you answered in the affirmative. Or at least as close as you could get while Joel was filling up his two favorite holes.
Your orgasm was maybe two strokes away from shattering bones, it seemed. Now was his chance.
Swiftly, Joel retracted his touch just far enough to drag a string of saliva out of your mouth—then deliver a taut but gentle slap to your cheek. The soft thwack, combined with the sounds your bodies were making down below, served only to elevate the pornographic pitch of your moan:
“Joel!”
“That’s right.”
Joel’s mouth hovered an inch over yours, half-smirking, as if waiting to suck the words clean off of your lips. You whined when his thrusts got quicker and the mouth that was grinning got to kissing your own again. Talking dirty, too.
“Show me who this cunt belongs to. Say it,” he grunted.
You clenched, kissed him back, were just barely aware of the words you were trying to form when you stuttered some unintelligible, ‘Y-Y—ohfuckdaddyjustlikethatoh—’
Oh.
Your eyes widened to Joel’s, and before you could even begin to process what was happening to your body, his name just snapped off your tongue like a shot. A shriek. Some blissfully half-strangled moan that Joel captured between his teeth as he fucked you into the mattress and held your body tight to his own. His palm was wet.
Your legs were wet.
The soft, heaving juncture between your bodies was wet.
You were only dimly aware of the sensation as you dug your heels in Joel’s back and let out a series of cries and moans, but then that fluttering feeling inside made you flinch. A pulsing between your thighs and a…warmth.
You were still blinking through a post-euphoric haze when you felt a soft heat simmer and sink within you.
Did Joel just…cum inside you? Again?
“You dumb motherfucker,” you hissed without hesitation.
You’d just managed to shove him away—not far, but away—when you scrambled into a sitting position and slapped a hand over your stomach. Expecting to feel a churning and an awful pinch as you came to make out some vague sensation of Joel’s seed painting your insides, you were surprised when you didn’t get it at all.
In point of fact, Joel had just sprayed a full Jackson Pollock onto your stomach and was blinking, still fisting his cock as you quickly made your way back to your feet.
Where was that wetness coming from?
You stood and stared down at your stomach. Your legs. The translucent, trickling something that had paved a clear path between your thighs and all over Joel’s front. It didn’t make sense, unless—
“You fuckin’ squirted!” Joel cheered.
Your first instinct was to make a face.
That shit only happened in poorly produced pornos and movies based on books by Colleen Hoover, not real-life human beings. What the hell was this man on about?
“Be fucking serious,” you scowled, reaching for a stray shirt on the floor. Before realizing it was even yours, you hastily swiped several big globs of Joel’s cum with it. Your face grew even more enflamed, and yourself, oddly…ashamed. You couldn’t quite make sense of why Joel was grinning so big, or why you felt so embarrassed by what appeared to be a natural bodily function, but you suspected it probably had something to do with the state of sex education in Texas. Those fuckers definitely skipped squirting in favor of abstinence-only rhetoric.
Still weird. Still gross. You wished Joel would stop smiling.
“Lose the look or I’ll slap that fuckin’ grey off your head.”
Admittedly, neither aftercare nor communication was your métier. You started throwing on clothes, annoyed.
Meanwhile, Joel was swiping moisture off his abdomen three thick fingers at a time and wiggling the residue up for you to see—‘All it is is a sign of good lovin’, sweets, ain’t nothin’a be ashamed of!’—and you gave him just one finger in return. You were sliding your shorts up your legs and attempting to scrap the jizz off your FEDRA top when Joel started shrugging on his stolen clothes, too.
Your back was turned to him, eyes scanning the almost too-calm outdoors through the window a minute later, when you felt an arm snake close around your waist.
“Tastes a little like honey,” Joel crooned in your ear, doubtlessly smirking as he swayed you, “Only sweeter.”
You rolled your eyes. No cunt tasted like a honeycomb.
And you tried to say as much when he stroked over the strip of exposed skin between your shorts and the hem of your shirt, squeezing you tighter, but Joel was too good. He spidered a teasing touch over your tummy and yanked you back into his chest when you squealed and tried to break free. Then your sides, your ribcage, your shoulder blades—anyplace Joel could tickle, he tried to—and most spots, you were squeamish as hell. You clamped a hand over your half-open, giggling mouth, and when you felt him flip you around, you didn’t protest.
Suddenly, Joel’s hands were on either side of your face. He wasn’t smiling quite so big anymore but nevertheless maintained a kind glint behind his eyes. They were soft.
“‘M’sorry,” he said.
Then, pausing as if to consider his words, he said,
“You did great.”
He stopped again to press a kiss on the tip of your nose.
“So good.”
When he saw another smile twitch at the corners of your lips, as though asking him for more, he kissed those too.
“If that was your first time with…that…I’m, uh…”
“What?”
Another beat. Another stupid, stubbled grin.
“The luckiest…senior citizen sonovabitch, I guess.”
At the tail end of that, and once Joel had punctuated his sentence with another tender peck, you met his gaze again. Somehow, it had only gotten softer. His thumbs were searing the gentlest of imprints in the apples of your cheeks, his breaths were even and warm, and if you hadn’t known any better, you might’ve thought the man was contemplating saying something else to you then.
He didn’t.
The bridge to an old Billy Joel song made sure of that.
“And when she’s walkin’, she’s lookin’ so f-i-i-i-ine.”
You heard gravel crunch outside the cabin.
“And when she’s talkin’, she’ll say that she’s m-i-i-i-ine.”
Footsteps bounding up the half-rotted, cedar steps.
“She’ll say I’m not so tough just because I’m in love wi—SHIT.”
Tess’s face went blank the second the door swung open.
Thankfully, both of you were clothed. You and Joel leapt apart like she’d just caught you in doggy, though. And Tess looked like she might’ve seen an asscheek or two with the way she was staring at you both, letting the screen door slam shut, and a wordless ‘what-the-fuck’ caught somewhere in the tepid air between you three.
You stared at Tess, and Tess stared at you. Joel peered over her shoulder for the arrival of any more onlookers or folks just wanting to sing ‘Uptown Girl’ in your general vicinity. Fortunately, no one else appeared behind her.
But Tess looked awestruck enough for fifty people. She blinked and visibly swallowed as her gaze shifted to Joel.
“So FEDRA does dick appointments now?” she hissed.
“No!”
“I’m not—”
“He’s from the other camp.”
“You’re shitting me. Absolutely shitting me right now.”
You brought both hands to your face in a stifling, quiet desperation, unsure what to do. Joel just blinked back.
“I’m—we’re—” he started.
“Fucking!” Tess bit back, “You are so fucking. Raw.”
She wasn’t wrong. Her sixth sense for knowing who was having clandestine sex in her bed was kind of insane.
But, where you expected a look of horror to crawl into those taut, too-smart-for-her-own-good features, you found your bunkmate starting to raise her eyebrows.
Then laugh.
Tess threw her head back and laughed because she thought you were boinking a FEDRA camp counselor.
Joel shared a similar look of surprise but didn’t laugh.
“Yeah, I’m uh…J—” Again, he made as if to speak, to introduce himself, but Tess cut him off. About to wheeze.
“Lucien Flores, you dirty dog!” she cackled.
Joel glanced down at his nametag, started to shake his head, and probably didn’t anticipate Tess smacking him on the shoulder in a semi-congratulatory sort of way. Given a little more muscle to the playful punch, she just might’ve knocked him over. Joel was then trying to pry the pin off his polo just as you stepped closer to her.
“Tess, he’s…” You considered spilling the beans en masse but quickly decided against it. You’d have to stick to the barest of bones if you had any hope of escaping this place. So, resuming, you squeezed her arm and just said:
“Flores is gonna bust us out. Get your shit and we’ll go.”
Theresa Servopoulos didn’t need to be told twice.
And when she scrambled over to her sex-stricken bunk, inquired with a hurried but patently grossed out expression about who the fuck had wet the bed while she was gone, Joel didn’t hesitate—he said it was him.
“FEDRA man with a piss kink. I like you already, Lucien.”
#ONE CABIN 🏚️#ONE BAND#ONE DREAM#ONE DIRECTION#IF YOU THOUGHT I WAS GONNA BE NORMAL ABOUT THIS YOU WOULD BE MISTAKEN HAHAHAHA#joel miller#joel miller tlou#joel miller smut#joel miller imagine#joel miller one shot#joel miller x reader#joel miller fanfiction#the last of us#tlou#the last of us fic#joel miller x you#dbf!joel
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ᨦ pick a pile ּ࣪ ⋆₊꒰ relationship dynamics with your future person. (🌻) ᵎᵎ.˖ꪆ𖠵꒷
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DISCLAIMER: choose what your heart truly longs for, what your eyes linger upon. take what is gonna resonate with you and leave the rest.
MY SHOP, WITCHYFLUER'S SHOP.
pile i.
part i. intuition
there's a strong childish energy for this pile. you and your lover maybe are on the same age line or if not, they are definitely someone whom you share the same vibes and interests.
they are probably someone who is into art and music and there's a high chance that they will produce and make a song which is dedicated to you or even draw a portrait of your picture and gifting to you when you both celebrate your anniversary or if not, probably when your birthday.
otherwise, they are gonna put a lot of effort into giving something to you, it's one of their love language.
this couple which you can see chatting their day through smart phones like updating each other about what is going into each other's lives. although they're not usually in the same place, it's just they enjoy sharing their day and about what's going on throughout their whole day to one and another.
your partner is maybe someone who is a prankster and while as i feel here mirroring of what they've done to you. there's a very youthful vibes coming from the both of you.
you two might be exchanging pranks on each other. this couple is like an easy end happy-go-lucky team.
i think you are going to get influence with these treats. someone as time goes by you are able to adopt them.
before meeting them, your person is cheerful while you are probably someone who always ate up from the stress of life. for the cutest part, i see that they like trapping you from where you are and start pampering you kisses all over your face. fight it babe, if you can!
part ii. from the oracle and tarot cards.
it will be a graceful relationship, like as if you were shipping a boat with a calm sea. you two will never be bored with each other's company, there's always something to spice up this relationship(as i said like pranking, lol).
i see a lot of activities that you two may like to do, the energetic energy is always here and it never gone.
you like hyping up one and another. your person's love language might be an act of service, physical touch and giving gifts. they will show it by making you a coffee in a morning when you wake up before your work or sitting close next to you when you two alone or making a compilation collage both of your picture and then gifting it to you.
they are someone who isn't get treated rights by their by past lovers and so, they tried their best to be the best version of themselves when they're with you.
this seems one of your exciting parts of your life and love, this is one of your most awaiting phases of your life. where i can call a blissful and harmonious relationship with a potential soulmate connection.
you will totally swept this person feet off, and so, you should embrace this moment.
also i see teamwork, friendship and you two will value each other. your biggest flex about this relationship is your love and strength for each other, you two probably can catch each other up in a very downfall situation like "i gotcha babe, let me handle this." a very communicative and has an emotional intelligence couple.
this person is gonna accept and love your flaws, if you think you aren't perfect enough they think you did. i also see here, they view you as their ideal person. they seems view you in a rose-tinted glasses; fine and unrealistic.
you will probably gonna have a lot of moments in any waterfront or you may date a lot in places where water are very prominent.
this is probably type of couple where the two of them get healed while in relationship.
pile ii.
part i. intuition
this couple is giving me very quiet and calm vibes. you probably love to read books and share what you learned from those. and as i sense here, people view you as a powerful, intelligent and intimidating couple.
i'm seeing someone here, who likes to sew? sewing is probably one of their hobbies or maybe it's you. this maybe you or them, i only see hands sewing so i'm not quite sure who's that or what gender they're.
i also get that you probably don't want a child before getting married, you two prefer it afterwards. family planning is very important for both energy here.
i see that you will plan this very carefully before committing in a long term relationship.
well, the first intimacy will happen in a hotel probably a five star or in a big luxury house like. both will be loyal to each other, they're gonna cherish each other until the end.
you two are probably serious and committed individuals, even though you may lose some spark because this relationship may have boring phases but they will still stick to each other to rewind and back again, where they start loving each other. about how they fall in love to each other.
there is a big understanding here maybe because both of you are matured and know how to handle things in a professional way.
but i do have this feeling, that you both like the ocean. one of you may live near it. and oh my, while channeling i suddenly saw on the clock it's 5:55.
this maybe a reminder from the spirit team that this is the love story you are desire for. the romantic relationship you are longing for. the masculine energy here, love the hand and toes of the feminine energy. they like kissing, massaging and cleaning it. it's a pair of hands holding another pair of hands.
part ii. from the oracle and tarot cards.
yeah, totally well read couple. all the things happening between these two is being taken seriously.
one on one having rough and risky conversations with each other. with them, you will not be scared to be vulnerable.
i also think you're gonna have this "our song" which reminds you of each other. so cute.
your lover is someone who gives you clarity and doesn't leave you in doubt. they're very committed to this relationship. if you are working, they'll be supportive about it. they are so proud, like a parent seeing their child graduating at school.
although, i kinda understand the rough sides of this story. they would love you to know that they love to experience all things, emotions and celebrations with you.
be communicative with them, as per see here. they are eager to know how their partner feels and thoughts.
another fact for them, as they grow. become an adult. they develop trust issues and have a low self-esteem. people surrounds makes them feel unloved somehow, this is probably they may come up from a family that has many members. so attention kinda split up for all of the children.
they want to build a good foundation, where everyone in their future family will be appreciated and loved. they want to be a good parent and role model for their younger ones.
when it comes to finances, i can confidently say that you two may love to help each other. appreciate little things. although, there's a little bit of struggle handling or earning the money. your positivity, will bring courage to your lover.
if your fp is a male i can't wholy say that they are someone who is well off but they'll be good at providing.
pile iii.
part i. intuition.
i see distance. you're probably gonna meet this individual when you move or if not, you may meet them online. at first glance, there's already a strong connection and chemistry happening between the two people.
it also has delays on the connection itself. it won't happen immediately but yes, there's a strong familiar feeling between you and them. this seems like, two people secretly crushing on each other but don't actually have any idea about that.
like two people keep sabotaging themselves whether the other person does have any feelings for them or feel what they feel. there's so much wonderment or bewilderment but it's really obvious that you two do really like each other but are afraid to say so. maybe afraid, to ruin the friendship.
move on. when it comes to relationships, this is the type of couple that prefers to date once in a month or more than that. it's probably one or two is busy but still have this little time and space for each other. and oh well, it's kinda like "oh, let's try to drink coffee in this new café i see few blocks away".
despite that this person feels home to you, they bring peace and joy into your life.
kisses on the forehead is also a thing for a person to feel better or linking to each other's arms while walking.
i also got a feeling that one of you is hella sensitive while the other one is gentle. your lover language will be an act of service.
part ii. from the oracle and tarot cards.
your person likes to document things, they love photography. taking pictures is one of their favorite things to do like for them you are their perfect model. like an artwork from a museum that doesn't fade away as time gets by but it becomes more valuable.
however, one of you may need to do the first move as i see here you are both afraid of each other's opinion. yes, it's obvious that you liked each other but there is a strong hesitation here. i think you both will start as friends and end up being lovers. it may take a lot of courage from the both of you to tell what you are feel about each other.
the first kiss? it's probably gonna happen in a chaotic and funny way.
the wedding is gonna be breath-taking. i also think only a few people that matter for the both of you are gonna attend this ceremony.
there's mutual support, trust and respect in this relationship.
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sweetpea [one-shot]
post-apocalyptic marvel au
retired!hero!bucky x fem!reader After the Riftborn War, Bucky Barnes seeks to retire from his past as a hero and settle down, you might just be the peace he’s been looking for all along.
Warnings: 18+ content minors dni, smut, fem reader, p in v, against tree sex, outdoor sex, no protection, vague primal vibes, very consensual, kissing, underwear ripping, if you squint, there's some plot, teeth-rotting fluff, it's so cute, bucky barnes is the sweetest, beefy bucky, yelena meddles, steve rogers is horrified, spring festivals, paganism, masks, drinking, mentions of past violence, death and war, mentions of readers previous relationships, no use of y/n, lmk if i've missed anything
Word Count: 8.9k
A/N: hello! it's nearly my birthday so heres a treat for you all. i've been sitting on this idea for AGES. i've been working hard on the daughter of the rotsál first draft, so i decided to take a break from the angst for some fluffy, cute smut!! please let me know if you enjoy and your thoughts! sorry for any typos - not proof read. permanent tag list: @globetrotter28
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Being fucked over the table was not unwelcome but rather surprisingly pleasant, even if it derailed your breakfast plans.
Leif had always been a rather attentive lover, skilled at pulling orgasm after orgasm out of your needy cunt. He possessed stamina and a hint of roughness that stirred warmth within you, yet something still felt absent. This elusive quality lingered throughout your year together—an unexpressed awareness that simmered between you. Leif was kind, diligent, attractive, and strong. He was considerate, often surprising you with gifts and regularly praising your looks and cooking. Your friends approved of him.
So even if that brief and passionate session had been perfect, him thrusting into you from behind so intensely that your toes curled and you had to press your face against the wooden surface to keep from screaming—you realised it was all somewhat melancholic. The thing that was missing between you and your Springbond was that fabled spark.
The decision to part ways had hurt, but you both knew it was right. A week before you had made the decision, on Mayflame he would move out, and the both of you would be single once more. The morning sex had been a goodbye of sorts, in typical Leif style. Even if you aligned perfectly, you inevitably amassed a long list of differences that broke the perfect illusion. You desired to settle down, concentrate on your work and home, and build connections with those nearby.
In contrast, Leif craved adventure and excitement—obviously, the Bleeding Age hadn’t brought enough danger and activity into his life. He later confessed that he was eager to sleep around more, as he was still a young man exploring his possibilities. This revelation didn’t necessarily shock or hurt you; you had captured his attention for the entire year, far beyond your predictions. Yet, you couldn’t help but wonder... were you boring?
After years of undue stress, survival, and several near-death experiences, you were eager to take advantage of the calm that followed the defeat of the Riftborn and the end of the Bleeding Age. You had to remind yourself—somewhat bitterly—that Leif was not the first and would not be the last.
“Did you see who that was?” Yelena exclaimed from beside you, her hand gripping your forearm tightly. You nearly leapt in surprise, abruptly pulled from your thoughts. Your head turned as you looked back, tracking Yelena’s gaze. “I swear to the fucking gods that was Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes—”
You squinted at the backs of the two men who had passed you by.
They walked like soldiers—steady, assured, their movements streamlined but commanding. No hesitation, no wasted motion, just the certainty of men who had spent years on battlefields, who had fought and bled and survived when others hadn’t. They were massive, even under their coats, their broad shoulders and thick arms unmistakable beneath the heavy fabric. Towering over the people around them, they carried themselves with the kind of presence that didn’t demand attention but took it anyway.
“The captain and the sergeant?” You shot back, doubt curling around your words as your brow furrowed. “I thought they were stationed in Stonebrook until the village was built.”
“They were… but last I heard, Stonebrook’s finished.” Yelena’s voice had an eager edge; her gaze locked onto the two figures even as they disappeared around a street corner, swallowed by the cobbled streets. “They were invited back for the Mayflame celebrations. The word is that they want to retire from the soldier business now the war is over.”
You rolled your eyes, tugging at her arm with a huff. “Come on, we’re going to be late—”
“But do you think they’ll run in Mayflame?” Yelena pressed, barely budging under your pull.
“I mean, gods, can you imagine if Steve Rogers was your Springbond?” She exhaled, almost breathless at the thought, her fingers tightening around your sleeve as if the mere idea was enough to set her heart racing.
You grit your teeth, heat rising in your face—not from excitement but from secondhand embarrassment. A group of older women lingered outside your destination, snickering between themselves at Yelena’s loud ponderings. With a sharp yank, you pulled her off the street and into the village hall, the heavy wooden doors thudding shut behind you, sealing away the crisp morning air and her starry-eyed ramblings.
“There you two are! I need all the hands I can get!”
A flustered-looking Pepper Potts intercepted you and Yelena before you could fully step inside, already ushering you towards a large pile of decorations. Her sleeves were rolled to her elbows, auburn hair pinned haphazardly at the nape of her neck, a sure sign that she had been running herself ragged in preparation for the festival.
“I’ve got half the boys working on the course and the bonfire,” she said, exhaling sharply. “Can you please cart these down and get started on the flowers?”
“Of course,” you replied with a quick nod, already sizing up the pile, considering how best to carry everything down in as few trips as possible.
Yelena, however, had other priorities. “Pepper, are the captain and sergeant joining the Mayflame?” She asked shamelessly, barely masking the anticipation in her tone.
But Pepper had already turned, swept away by the tide of arriving villagers, barking orders as she moved—clearly too busy to entertain Yelena’s curiosity.
You scoffed, sinking your hands into a collection of freshly cut flowers, their stems already bundled neatly for easy transport. You had grown and picked them yourself, much to Pepper’s praise. In recent years, you found comfort in your gardens and flowerbeds. The scent of wild blooms filled your nose, the petals soft against your fingers as you began sorting through them. “Yelena, stop meddling and help me.”
“Fine, but you are no fun!” Yelena groaned, throwing herself down beside you with dramatic flair. Then, as if compelled by some unseen force, she added with a wistful sigh, “I know you’re upset about Leif, but at least let me dream of a raunchy, hero-filled Mayflame.”
Her voice carried farther than she likely intended. Several nearby villagers—some heaving chairs, others hauling tables—stopped mid-task, casting curious glances in your direction.
Mortified, you didn’t dignify her with a response.
—
“I mean, you keep saying you’re not upset about Leif, but you’re obviously upset.”
Yelena’s voice drifted up from below, thick with scepticism. She was not taking her duty of stabilising the ladder very seriously. The wooden rungs wobbled beneath your feet, shifting with every careless movement she made. A quick glance down confirmed your suspicions. She was barely gripping the beams, more occupied with craning her neck up the hill, no doubt hoping for another glimpse of the fabled Steve Rogers or Bucky Barnes.
You sighed, your arms burning from the strain. You had foolishly volunteered for the painstaking task of weaving flowers through the towering wooden archways that framed the festival’s entrances. The Mayflame decorations were meant to be intricate and beautiful—braided vines, bundles of wildflowers, bright ribbons fluttering in the evening breeze—but at this rate, you’d be lucky if you made it out of this task without breaking a limb.
“I’m not upset,” you grumbled, though your voice lacked conviction. You worked the soft stems of sweetpeas and baby’s breath into a sturdy braid, securing them with twine against the wooden frame. “We made a mutual decision. It wasn’t working. Just a Mayflame fling...”
Yelena snorted from below, unimpressed. The ladder swayed as she shifted, and you tightened your grip, heart stuttering. “You two lived together for a year. I think it was a little more than a fling.”
You exhaled sharply, your fingers tightening around the flowers. “If he wants to run off, sleep around, and travel, who am I to hold him back, Lena? He wanted something different than I did. It never would have worked.”
“I just…” Yelena hesitated. “I just don’t like thinking about you living up on that farm by yourself.”
You huffed, rolling your eyes as you reached for another bundle of flowers. “Then come visit me more often instead of spending all your nights at the tavern, bothering Nat. I need all the help I can get wrangling those weeds—”
The words barely left your mouth before the ladder jerked violently beneath you.
Your stomach lurched as you wobbled. You instinctively reached for the wooden arch to steady yourself but overcorrected. The shift in weight sent the ladder tilting dangerously, its legs twisting beneath you. The basket of flowers on your hip slipped free, tumbling towards the grass below in a flurry of petals.
“Yelena! The ladder—!”
“There’s a bee in my hair!” Yelena shrieked, her grip altogether abandoning the wooden beams as she flailed wildly. “Gods, if it stings me, I swear—”
You had no time to process her nonsense. The world lurched violently as the ladder lost its precarious balance, tipping sideways with terrifying speed.
Air whipped at your cheeks as you plunged downward. Your arms shot up in a feeble attempt to protect your head, your entire body bracing for the inevitable collision with the earth below.
But the pain never came.
Instead, you collided with something solid—something warm.
A pair of strong arms locked tightly around your middle, yanking you against a broad, muscled chest. The force of your fall sent both of you toppling over; your breath knocked from your lungs as your saviour twisted to absorb the impact. The two of you crashed into the grass in a tangled heap.
A startled squeak escaped your lips as you landed atop them, hands splayed flat against their chest. Their sheer size was dizzying—hard muscle beneath the thin fabric. The steady rise and fall of their breathing made you acutely aware of how firmly you were pressed against them.
For a long second, neither of you moved, your heart pounding as you processed what had just happened. Then, slowly, the arms around your waist loosened. A deep, low voice rumbled beneath you, quieter than you expected yet laced with a restrained amusement.
“Careful, angel. Keep this up, and people will talk.”
Your breath hitched, pulse stuttering as you realised who lay beneath you. Bucky Barnes.
A cold rush of realisation hit like a shock to the system. Your eyes widened in alarm as you took in the situation. Your hands braced against the solid plane of his chest, his body beneath yours, broad and unmoving. Worse, your legs were hooked around his hips, the warmth of him seeping through your clothes—oh gods, were you sitting on his—?
Panic jolted through you. Without a second thought, you scrambled off him in a flurry of movement, heat rushing to your face. Your hands shot up instinctively as if you could wave away the mortifying situation.
“I—I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to—”
Bucky didn’t move immediately. He remained where he was, lying on the ground, one arm bent behind his head. The dappled sunlight filtering through the trees cast shadows on his face, highlighting the defined angles of his cheekbones and the depth of his blue eyes. There was no teasing smirk, no cocky remark—just a quiet, lingering patience.
Finally, with a slow, fluid motion, he pushed himself upright, his expression unreadable.
“It’s fine,” he assured, his voice smooth but low, edged with something thoughtful. Just a quiet confidence that sent an unexpected shiver down your spine.
You took a hurried step back, trying to regain some semblance of composure, but the erratic beat of your heart refused to settle. You’d always known of Bucky Barnes—the colder one, the quiet one. The man whose name carried a reputation as cutting as winter’s first frost. Yet now, looking at him, the weight of that reputation felt at odds with how he carried himself.
There was something measured about his movements, deliberate and careful, as though he were wary of taking up too much space.
The silence stretched between you until his voice, softer this time, broke through. “You’ve got a little something…”
His hand shot up before you could reply—quick yet remarkably gentle. His fingers delicately moved through your hair, his careful touch igniting a familiar warmth in your gut.
You froze.
He plucked something from your hair and turned it over in his fingers. A single sweetpea, its delicate petals trembling in the breeze. Bucky studied it with quiet intensity, rolling it between his thumb and forefinger.
“Sweetpea,” he murmured, as if the word carried weight, his gaze flicking back to meet yours. How he looked at you—calm yet piercing—made your breath catch. For a fleeting moment, the world felt impossibly still.
Your cheeks burned. You didn’t even know why.
“I—I’m sorry,” you stammered, the words slipping out before you could stop them.
Something flickered across his face, subtle but there. Not quite a smile, but something close, something softer than you would have expected from a man with his reputation.
“You don’t have to apologise,” he said simply. Then, after a beat, quieter: “You could’ve hurt yourself.”
It was such a small thing. Barely even a kindness. You were glad the hero couldn’t sense the throbbing between your legs. Maybe this break-up with Leif had indeed done a number on you, lusting after the first man who showed you kindness... but there was something rather magnetic about the sergeant you couldn’t quite understand.
You swallowed, forcing yourself to focus and gather the scattered remnants of your pride. Your gaze turned to the abandoned basket of flowers at your feet, a welcome distraction.
"Right, well, thank you,” you muttered. “I should probably—”
You motioned vaguely toward the half-finished floral arch, eager to redirect the moment into something less intense. But before Bucky could respond, a sharp, frantic voice shattered the moment.
“Oh, gods! I’m so sorry, there was a bee, and I just—are you okay?” You barely had time to brace before Yelena was upon you, hands gripping your shoulders, her wide green eyes scanning your face as if she expected to find a gaping wound. You squirmed under her touch, cheeks still burning.
“I’m fine, Lena,” you mumbled, trying to pry her hands off you. “Really.”
“Yes, of course! This gentleman saved you—” Yelena cut herself off mid-sentence, her entire body freezing as she finally got a good look at him. Her eyes widened, her mouth dropping open in unfiltered shock. “Wait. You’re Bucky Barnes.”
Bucky’s expression shifted, barely, but you caught it. A flicker of something. Not quite discomfort, but something close. His posture stiffened, his fingers flexing once before settling back into stillness.
He didn’t confirm or deny it. He just gave a slow, short nod. You saw the way his throat bobbed slightly as he swallowed, the way he held himself—not defensive, exactly, but closed off as if he had already braced for whatever reaction was coming next.
Yelena’s gaze darted between you, her sharp mind working fast. Too fast. There was a feral glint in her eyes, one you knew well. You could practically see the cogs turning in her mind, a meddling scheme already in action. You held back a groan.
Before she could say something truly insufferable, a sharp, shrill voice rang out from across the unlit bonfire.
“There you are! I need more flowers—can you believe it? I thought we’d have enough with all that you grew. Please tell me you have more in that garden of yours!” You blinked, grateful for the interruption, and immediately turned towards the sound of Pepper’s voice.
“Yes, of course,” you called back, relief flooding through you. “I grew extra just in case. I had a feeling this might happen.”
“Wonderful! Oh, you’re a lifesaver today,” Pepper’s voice rose in excitement. “Leave the floral arches for now. I’ll have one of the girls help finish them up. If you could just run up to your garden—”
You didn’t need to hear the rest.
“Of course!” You cut her off a little too eagerly, desperate to get away from Yelena’s looming interrogation. It was almost like an escape route had opened, and you weren’t about to hesitate. Pepper barely seemed to notice your enthusiasm as she continued.
“Oh, but you won’t be able to carry them all alone, will you? Yelena, you’ll help her, won’t you? And, oh, Bucky, I didn’t realise you were down here already. If I send you and Steve up as well, can you help these lovely ladies?”
You turned towards him instinctively, almost uncertain of what to expect. Bucky, who had been silent throughout the exchange, lifted his head slightly. His eyes jumped towards Pepper, then towards you. His blue eyes were unreadable, his expression impossible to decipher.
Then, finally, he spoke.
“Yeah.”
That was it. No unnecessary words, no wasted breath. Just a quiet, steady answer, the same way he seemed to carry himself, like a man who only spoke when it was worth speaking.
Yelena, on the other hand, was already on you like a hawk, latched onto your arm, nails digging through even your clothing as she grinned in excitement. Instead, you held back any protest that wanted to bubble to the surface, donning a hesitant smile. You couldn’t shake the feeling that the afternoon was about to take a turn for the absurd.
There was no way out of this now.
—
The sun sat high in the sky as the four of you climbed the hill towards the garden. The path was uneven, the dirt packed down from years of footsteps, the scent of wildflowers and earth thick in the warm air. You focused ahead, gripping the empty basket, determined not to meet anyone’s gaze—especially not Bucky’s.
Of course, Yelena had no such reservations. She walked beside Steve, hands clasped behind her back, the picture of feigned innocence. You could feel the question brewing before she even opened her mouth.
“So,” she began, her tone laced with a familiar mischief. “You two were some of the great heroes of the Blooded Age.”
Steve huffed a small, almost bashful laugh. “I wouldn’t call us heroes.”
“Really?” Yelena raised a brow. “Because I’ve heard plenty of stories that say otherwise. You fought monsters, saved villages, built armies—sounds pretty heroic to me.”
Steve glanced at Bucky as if expecting him to jump in, but the other man remained quiet, his eyes fixed on the path ahead. Steve sighed and shrugged. “We did what needed to be done. It wasn’t about being heroes. People were dying, and the world was falling apart. We just... fought to keep it together.”
Yelena hummed, unimpressed with his humility. “And now you’re here. Retired.”
“That’s the plan.”
“You must be very tired.” She smirked. “All that fighting. Saving the world. Carrying such a heavy burden on those broad, broad shoulders.”
You choked on absolutely nothing, coughing into your hand as warmth flared in your cheeks.
Steve cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. “It was time to put the war behind us.”
Yelena turned to Bucky, who had been walking a step behind, silent as ever. “And what about you, Barnes? Tired of fighting too?”
Bucky finally glanced her way, his expression unreadable.
“War doesn’t leave much room for a future.” His voice was low, quiet, but firm. “Figured it was time to start thinking about one.”
Yelena tilted her head, studying him like a puzzle she was determined to solve. “And New Fernwick is the place to do that?”
Bucky didn’t answer immediately. His attention turned to you—brief and mysterious—before he looked back at the trail. “Seems as good a place as any.”
Yelena smirked, but you reached the garden before she could push further.
“Here we are!” You announced, a little too brightly, desperate to change the subject.
You set your basket down and knelt to gather the flowers, focusing intently on the task. Yelena crouched beside you, plucking a few stems with ease. Steve busied himself as well, his hands surprisingly gentle as he worked.
Bucky, however, remained standing with his arms crossed as he surveyed the field of blooms. After a brief pause, he crouched, reaching for a flower near your basket. You watched as his fingers brushed over the petals carefully and deliberately.
Yelena noticed too. “Didn’t peg you for a flower guy, Barnes.”
Bucky plucked the stem and twirled it between his fingers, his expression unreadable. “You learn to appreciate the small things when you don’t see ‘em for a long time.”
The words were simple, but they settled in your chest, something unspoken lingering beneath them.
Yelena, for once, said nothing.
The silence stretched as the four of you worked, the baskets gradually filling, until until Yelena, as always, shattered it with a single sentence—one that made your stomach drop the moment it left her mouth.
“So, are you two going to do the Mayflame Run?”
Your fingers tightened around the delicate stems of the flowers in your hands, nearly crushing them. Heat flared up your neck, and you snapped your head towards her. “Yelena.”
She only grinned, tilting her head in mock innocence. “What?”
She batted her lashes. “It’s a fair question.”
Bucky and Steve glanced up from where they were crouched, picking through the wildflowers. The question had caught them off guard. Steve’s brow furrowed, curiosity laced with hesitation.
“What exactly is the Mayflame Run?” he asked.
You parted your lips, scrambling for a way to downplay it, but Yelena was already launching into her favourite pastime—oversharing.
“It’s a spring festival all about welcoming in the new season... new life... fertility and all that.” She wiggled her fingers for emphasis, an impish smirk tugging at her lips.
Steve blinked, his expression shifting into one of wary understanding. “Right…”
The mischief in Yelena’s eyes deepened as she continued.
“The main event is the run. We call it the Springbond Run, but let’s be honest—everyone knows what it’s really about. See, after the Blooded Age, people kind of… forgot how to date. Or just didn’t bother.” She waved a hand as if brushing aside years of devastation. “War, famine, monsters—it put a real damper on romance. And, well, people aren’t exactly repopulating at the rate they should be, so...”
She shot Steve a pointed look. “The elders decided to encourage things.”
Steve still looked uncertain. "And how does it work?”
You exhaled through your nose, adjusting your basket.
“The women carry torches and run through the dark forest,” you explained, keeping your voice even as possible. “The goal is to reach the clearing on the other side and light the bonfire.”
You hesitated, dreading the next part. “The men chase them.”
Steve’s brows lifted. “They chase them?”
You nodded stiffly, but Yelena was the one who answered.
“If you get caught,” she said breezily, “you have to date the guy who caught you for a week. You’re now each other’s Springbond. After that, you decide if you want to keep seeing each other or go your separate ways. Most end up sticking it out. Either for marriage or, at the very least, some fun.”
Your stomach twisted as Bucky’s gaze flickered towards you. He hadn’t spoken yet or reacted outwardly, but you felt the weight of his attention pressing against your skin like an unspoken question.
Steve rubbed the back of his neck, clearly processing the information. “And what happens to the women who manage to light the bonfire?”
“Oh, then they get to choose who they spend the week with,” Yelena said. "Which honestly makes the whole thing even more exciting. It’s so dark, you don’t always know who’s chasing you until they’re right on top of you, pinning you to the ground—”
Steve choked on his own breath, shifting awkwardly. You clamped your eyes shut, pressing your fingers to your temples.
“Yelena.”
“What?” she said, all false innocence.
“It’s true. And let’s be real, some people don’t even wait until after the run to start celebrating.” She smirked. “All that adrenaline, all that tension, out there all alone in the woods—”
Steve made another strangled sound, and you wished, for the first time in your life, that you had the power to smite Yelena where she stood.
“And this is normal?” he asked weakly.
You let out a long breath. “Yes. It’s… tradition.”
Yelena’s smirk stretched wider, and a pit of dread opened in your stomach just before she delivered the final blow.
“Oh, she would know,” she said airily. “She’s done it three times.”
Silence.
You felt the shift in the air before you even looked up. Steve was already glancing away politely, but Bucky—Bucky’s gaze was steady, unyielding, waiting. His expression was unreadable, but there was something sharp beneath it, something that made your pulse stutter.
Your mouth went dry. “I—uh—yeah.”
Yelena cackled, delighted. “And she had quite the reputation for it, too. She and Leif turned it into a year-long one-night stand."
Your stomach dropped. Heat flared at your ears, mortification wrapping around your ribs like a vice. Steve coughed into his fist, visibly uncomfortable, but Bucky—Bucky still hadn’t looked away. The weight of his silence pressed against you, heavier than any words could be. He didn’t flinch, didn’t frown, didn’t even raise a damn eyebrow. He just watched as if waiting for you to offer something. An explanation. A reaction.
You swallowed hard.
Yelena, meanwhile, had absolutely no shame.
“Some people take the week actually to get to know each other,” she continued with a smirk. “Others treat it like a festival fling. A week-long one-night stand, if you will.”
She turned to Bucky then, eyes glinting. “You seem like the type who’d do a Mayflame run.”
Bucky finally exhaled through his nose, unimpressed. “You get that from watching me pick flowers?”
Yelena leant in. “No, I got it from watching you look at her.”
Your breath hitched.
Bucky didn’t flinch. Didn’t react at all. He just held her gaze for a long moment before standing, dusting the dirt from his hands with deliberate ease.
“We should get these back,” he said.
That was it. No denial.
Your pulse thrummed in your ears as Yelena shot you a triumphant look, nudging your arm with her elbow. You shoved her back harder than necessary, grabbing your basket with too much force.
—
You had braided sweetpeas into your hair, their delicate petals—a cascade of soft pinks, purples, and whites—woven carefully through your strands. The fragrance clung to you, sweet and fleeting, barely noticeable except when the wind stirred just right. You didn’t know why you had done it. Maybe it was a whim, an idle distraction while you got ready for the Mayflame. Maybe it was some quiet hope you refused to name, a foolish sentiment born from the strange afternoon. Or maybe, worse than all of that, it was the loneliness of returning to an empty house.
Leif had left while you were gone. You hadn’t seen him pack or even heard the door shut behind him. Just silence, so much silence. His absence had been waiting for you like a ghost when you stepped inside. No trace of him remained, save for a few scuff marks on the wooden floor and a half-finished bottle of cider in the kitchen. You had stared at it for a long time before scrubbing the house clean in a fit of confused energy as if sweeping away the dust might sweep away the ache in your chest.
Did you even want to run tonight? If it always turned out this way?
Leif had been inevitable—his leaving, even more so. The one before him barely lasted the week. And the first... gods, the first. You didn’t let yourself think about that one.
Yet here you were, standing in the dark forest, a burning torch in your hand.
The other women huddled together, whispering in excited clusters, their laughter soft and secretive beneath the trees. The firelight flickered over their masked faces, catching on the gilded edges and painted symbols of the goddess of spring. Yelena was causing trouble somewhere in the throng, as always, her voice carrying through the dark.
“I swear, I can pick them out. I just need a second,” she was saying.
You sighed, already knowing exactly what she was up to.
“It’s a useless pursuit,” you had reminded her earlier. “They’ll be masked, everyone will. That’s the whole point.”
And yet, she was determined. You caught a glimpse of her through the shifting bodies, her blonde hair twisted into an elaborate crown braid behind her fox mask, taunting the gathered men. They stood on the opposite side of the clearing, a sea of darkened figures illuminated only by flickering torchlight. The line between hunter and hunted might have blurred if not for their masks.
You fiddled with the edges of your own mask, adjusting it once more against your face. Each mask bore the likeness of a creature of the forest—the women had prey animals: deer, rabbits, and foxes. You had chosen a wide-eyed doe, its carved wooden surface smooth against your fingertips. The men, in contrast, wore the guises of predators: wolves, bears, and great hunting birds.
A shiver trailed down your spine as you scanned their ranks, the shadows swallowing their bodies.
This was fate, they said. A tradition older than the Blooded Age. The goddess of spring would take the helm, guiding her children together.
Destiny, not choice.
You weren’t sure you believed in fate anymore.
Still, you craned your neck, searching for Yelena again before the race began. Some women had already lined up at the start, their torches raised, waiting for the signal. You pushed through the crowd, weaving past a group of masked rabbits, your torch casting long, twisting shadows over the forest floor.
Yelena stood at the edge of the men’s group, utterly unbothered, her fox mask tilted slightly as she studied them. The smirk you couldn’t see was undoubtedly plastered across her face.
“Lena,” you called lightly.
She turned towards you, still distracted. “You’d think we’d be able to recognise them even with the masks, right? They should be massive, but it’s so hard to tell in the dark—”
You grabbed her wrist, pulling her away. “Come on.”
The hairs on the back of your neck prickled.
As you turned, your torchlight swept over a lone figure standing at the edge of the men’s group. Half-shrouded in shadow, his wolf mask glinted in the firelight. His posture was relaxed, almost lazy, yet there was an unmistakable intensity in his standing and watching.
You swallowed hard and averted your gaze.
Tugging Yelena along, you stepped towards the start line.
The time was near.
You gathered your skirts with one hand, feeling the rough fabric in your fist. The cool night air licked at your skin, carrying the scent of damp earth and pine. Around you, the other women shifted in anticipation, their torches flickering like stars in the dark. Somewhere beyond the trees, the men waited. Watching.
A hush fell over the gathered crowd. Then—
The drum sounded.
The tension snapped, and you ran.
Flames bobbed wildly as the women surged forward, feet pounding against the forest floor. Laughter rang through the night, breathless and high, voices calling to one another before being swallowed by the trees.
Yelena was gone in an instant, lost in the chaos.
You barely had time to register it before you were weaving between trunks, torchlight bouncing wildly in your periphery. Your skirts whipped around your legs, the rough fabric catching on twigs and undergrowth, but you didn’t slow. The forest stretched wide before you, vast and shrouded in shadows.
Adrenaline surged through your veins, heart hammering against your ribs.
It was exhilarating.
You could hear the others somewhere to your left, their laughter spilling through the trees, echoing their footfalls blending with your own. And behind you, somewhere in the dark, the men had begun their pursuit.
The sound of movement grew. Leaves rustled, and twigs snapped.
Your breath hitched, but you didn’t dare look back.
Instead, you pushed forward, your torchlight slicing through the thick night. The distant hum of music reached your ears, the festival, just beyond the treeline. You were close. So close.
Then—impact.
A weight slammed into you from the side, knocking the air from your lungs. Your torch flew from your grasp, landing somewhere in the brush, its flame sputtering but not extinguished.
You hit the ground hard, back pressing into the cool earth, the scent of moss and crushed leaves filling your senses. Above you, a broad figure loomed, breathing heavily from the chase.
The dim torchlight barely illuminated him, casting jagged shadows across the carved wolf mask that stared down at you. The smooth, wooden surface gave away nothing—no expression, no hint of who was beneath it.
Your pulse thundered.
Around you, the chase still roared on. Footsteps pounded the earth, laughter echoing as others darted past, unseen but near.
You swallowed hard, your breath coming fast, your chest rising and falling. You had been caught.
But gods, it was thrilling.
The figure above you didn’t move, as if waiting—for what, you weren’t sure. His hands were braced on either side of you, caging you in, his breath still heavy from the chase. Yet he didn’t press his advantage or seize you like the others would have. Instead, he lingered, watching.
Then, in the flickering torchlight, he reached for your hair.
You barely breathed as his fingers tangled into the strands, the movement deliberate, almost reverent. Slowly, he plucked one of the deep violet sweetpeas from your braid, twirling it between his fingers before your masked face. The petals fluttered slightly with the motion, fragile between the ridges of his calloused fingertips.
A beat of silence stretched between you. Then, finally, his voice, low, deep, rough with exertion.
“Hey, sweetpea.”
The nickname sent a shock through you, something warm curling in your chest even as your breath hitched. Recognition dawned, sharp and sudden.
“Bucky?” You murmured, stunned.
Even if surprise coursed through you, it made sense. The sheer size of the body hovering above yours, the weight of him pressing into the earth, the controlled stillness…it was him. A reversed echo of your earlier position that day.
“How did you—”
“Your hair,” he interrupted, his voice quieter now, rougher. “You put flowers in your hair. I recognised it.”
He reached up, fingers catching the edge of his mask, and in a smooth motion, he pulled it free. The last flickers of the torch beside you cast just enough light to reveal the sweat beading on his brow, the shadows cutting across his sharp features—and the unmistakable, almost feral gleam in his eye.
Something deep inside you clenched at the sight.
You exhaled a breathless laugh, your hands instinctively sliding up his broad shoulders, fingers curling around the back of his neck. Beneath your palms, his skin was hot, his pulse hammering. “I didn’t think you were running.”
“I wasn’t going to.” He hesitated, head tilting slightly as footsteps dashed past, followed by an excited shriek from one of the other women. The sound faded into the trees, leaving you in perfect darkness, only the two of you remaining in the silence. “But—”
He trailed off, his voice thick with something unspoken. His weight above you was solid, immovable, and gods, you liked it.
“Do you want this?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper.
Instead of answering, you twisted your arm, pulling your mask off. You weren’t sure he could see the grin curling your lips in the dark, so you let your actions speak for you. Tugging him closer, your chests collided, heat blooming between you.
“Yes,” you breathed.
And then his lips crashed into yours.
The kiss was molten, searing through your veins like wildfire. He wasn’t hesitant, wasn’t uncertain—he kissed you like he had been holding himself back for far too long, like the chase had only wound him tighter, and now he was unravelling against you.
You gasped into his mouth as he shifted, his weight pressing down on you, one hand sliding to your waist, fingers digging in, anchoring you to him. His other hand tangled in your hair, gripping just enough to make your head tilt back, giving him full access. He took it eagerly, deepening the kiss, his tongue sweeping against yours in a slow, devastating stroke.
Heat pooled in your stomach, your legs shifting beneath him, but then—
With shocking ease, he moved.
For a brief second, you were weightless, a startled sound escaping your lips as he lifted you effortlessly from the ground. You barely had time to react before your back hit rough bark, the solid tree trunk now bracing you. His hands were firm as they guided your legs around his waist, pinning you in place. You could already feel his cock growing hard, pressed into one of your thighs as you squirmed beneath him.
A shudder wracked through you at his sheer strength, the way he handled you like you weighed nothing. The last remnants of your composure shattered when his lips found your throat, the scrape of his teeth ghosting over sensitive skin. You gasped, fingers digging into his shoulders, the sensation overwhelming and utterly intoxicating.
"You run fast, angel," he murmured against your skin, his voice dark and teasing. His lips trailed lower, pressing open-mouthed kisses along your jaw. "But not fast enough."
A breathless laugh escaped you, your fingers threading into his hair, pulling just enough to make him look at you. In the darkness, his blue eyes burned.
“I didn’t want to get away.”
Bucky’s breath hitched, and he just looked at you for a moment. Then, his grip on your waist loosened, fingers slipping beneath your skirts. He let out a deep groan as his digits navigated past your underwear, sweeping through the wetness already gathered. “You’re so wet already.”
You threw your head back at the small act of friction, your skull pressing hard into the rough bark as your chest heaved. He did one final pass, stroking through your folds. In the close distance between your faces, you could see a smirk lingering as your hips rocked involuntarily, begging for more.
Bucky brought his fingers to his lips, his gaze never leaving yours as he pressed them flat against his tongue, dragging them slowly past his lips. His eyelids fluttered briefly, his breath coming heavier as he tasted you, a low, guttural sound rumbling in his chest. “Mmm.”
Heat coiled in your stomach at the sound, something deep and electric winding tight inside you.
“Bucky—” The whine clawed unexpectedly from your throat, raw with desperation.
He smirked, his expression both teasing and dark, his hand slipping between your bodies.
“I know, sweetpea,” he murmured, his voice thick with satisfaction. His fingers fumbled blindly with his belt, metal clinking softly in the hush of the forest. You could feel his hunger in the way his body pressed against yours, restless, taut with restraint he was barely clinging to.
You rolled your hips against his hand, a breathless sigh spilling from your lips as friction sent a fresh wave of heat pooling between your thighs. He inhaled sharply, his head tilting slightly as if savouring the way you reacted to him.
“Tell me,” he coaxed, his voice lower now, almost commanding.
Your fingers curled against his shoulders, nails digging in. Your head tipped back against the tree's rough bark, your chest rising and falling rapidly as your lips parted around the words.
“I need you,” you whispered. “Now.”
Something snapped in his expression.
Bucky didn’t hesitate.
A sharp gasp tore from your throat as his fingers hooked into the delicate fabric of your underwear. His patience was fraying. No careful undressing, no gentle peeling away. His grip was rough and decisive, a growl slipping from his throat as he gave one sharp tug. The fabric tore effortlessly beneath his fast fingers, the sound lost beneath the hammering of your pulse in your ears. He didn’t even bother pulling them down—too impatient, too consumed by need.
You could practically feel your wetness dripping down to your thighs as he blindly lined himself up, cock pushing into your needy heat. Your head dipped, your mouth finding the top of his shoulder as you bit down lightly with a soft cry. The world beyond this moment—the festival, the music, the laughter—blurred into nothingness. The only thing that existed was the feverish press of his body, the way his fingers dug into your skin, anchoring you to him as if he never wanted to let go.
“Fuck.” He hummed low in your ear. His voice strained as he slowly rocked in and out of you. You could tell he was restraining himself, his muscles taut along his back. You hooked your legs around his waist tighter, pulling your bodies flush.
Bucky tilted his head, his lips ghosting over your jaw before finally finding your mouth, desperate and all-consuming. His pace faltered for a moment, a quiet groan slipping from his throat as you tightened around him.
“Gods, you’re so fuckin’ tight, so fuckin’ perfect—” he murmured against your lips, his voice thick.
Your fingers tangled in his hair, tugging him closer. Your breath was hot against his neck and ear as you whispered. “Then don’t stop.”
Any type of restraint the hero had been holding snapped, his hips immediately jerking into action, beginning a relentless pace, withdrawing from you only to slam back inside. Each thrust sent sparks through your body, pleasure coiling tighter, overwhelming in its intensity. One of his hands roamed, sliding down your thigh to where you connected.
You let out a gasping moan into his shoulder as his thumb found your clit, the added circling motion sending a spike of pleasure up your spine. You felt your cunt tighten around him again as you jolted from the sensation, back arching inward.
“Bucky—” You groaned into his ear, head tilting as you laid hot, sloppy kisses that were all lips and tongue along his neck. You could taste salt on his skin, sweat beginning to mist both of you. The squelching and slapping sounds of your connected bodies echoed through the dark forest, the both of you barely holding back the pleasured moans and gasps.
“You gonna cum for me, angel?” Bucky growled against your throat. Your toes curled in delight. His strokes were already growing frantic and sloppy. You pushed yourself back against the trunk, chest heaving as you used your grip around his waist to grind yourself upon his thumb further. A coiling sensation grew in your gut, a knot beginning to tighten. You closed your eyes with a gasp, chasing the sensation.
“Y-Yes.” You stammered through your pants, nails digging into his shoulders as your body began to shudder around him. Bucky let out a dark chuckle, straining through his grit teeth as he continued to plough into you. His thumb circled once more, gentle but practiced. You felt your back arch involuntarily—
You moan his name as every wave of pleasure washes over you. Your hips buck and your thighs shake, but he doesn’t let up. His cock strokes inside of you at a continued relentless pace, and he moans right along with you. Bucky’s hand began to roam along your legs, gripping your flesh tighter as he chased his own release. There would be finger-shaped bruises all over your hips and thighs by the time this was over.
You’re panting above him. Eyes closed, the grip on his shoulders slackening as ropes of thick, hot cum fill you. His cock throbs, each pump releasing even more, only stopping as his hips stutter and his heated moans in your ear fade.
The two of you panted in the aftermath. Bodies still pressed together as the sounds of the forest slowly filtered back into your ears—the distant thrum of festival music, the rustling leaves overhead, the occasional laughter of those still running through the trees. Your heart hammered against your ribs.
Bucky shifted first, pressing a lingering kiss to the base of your throat, his lips warm and soft against your sweat-dampened skin. His breath fanned over your collarbone as he slowly and carefully lowered you to your feet. Your knees nearly buckled when they touched the earth, your legs trembling with exhaustion. A startled gasp left you as you clung to him for support, fingers curling into his shirt.
“Easy, sweetpea,” he murmured, a quiet chuckle rumbling in his chest as he steadied you, one strong arm wrapping around your waist. His touch was grounding and reassuring, though the heat in his gaze told you he wasn’t entirely done with you yet.
You huffed a breathless laugh, tilting your head to look at him.
“You know we have to go to the dance now, right?” Though amusement laced your tone, you could already picture the knowing smirks Yelena and the others would shoot you when you finally emerged.
Bucky smirked, eyes dark with satisfaction.
“Even better,” he murmured, leaning in until his lips brushed the shell of your ear. “All I’ll be able to think about is those little noises you make... and that mess between your legs.”
Your breath hitched, a shiver rolling down your spine despite the lingering warmth in your limbs. You swallowed hard, heat pooling low in your belly once more at the thought of his hands on you again, the way he had unravelled you so easily.
He tilted your chin up with a single finger, pressing a teasing kiss to your lips before stepping back slightly, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.
“Come on, sweetpea,” he murmured, his eyes flickering with mischief as he laced his fingers with yours. “Let’s go dance.”
—
By the time you and Bucky arrived, the festival was in full swing, the air thick with the scent of roasted meats, spiced cider, and the smoky tang of bonfires. Laughter and music filled the clearing, the rhythmic beat of drums and the sweet hum of strings carrying through the night. Couples swayed to the music, feet shuffling against the packed earth as villagers danced in loose circles, the warmth of drink and celebration evident in every movement.
You barely had time to take it all in before a chorus of knowing smirks and raised brows greeted your arrival. Yelena, seated at a long wooden table with a tankard of something strong in hand, nearly choked on her drink when she spotted you—your slightly dishevelled hair, the flush still clinging to your skin, and Bucky’s possessive grip on your waist.
“About time,” she called with a grin, eyes flicking between the two of you. “Did you get lost?”
Bucky, unbothered, merely smirked and tugged you towards the dancing. “Something like that.”
You shot her a look, but it was impossible to ignore the amused glances and hushed whispers behind you. You tried not to think about the wet mess—a combination of both your fluids nesting between your thighs. Bucky had offered you a handkerchief to clean up, but the small square of fabric had done little against the wetness dripping down your thigh. What didn’t help was the thought of that handkerchief he casually tucked back into his pocket before you could protest. Your lips parted, ready with some half-hearted excuse, but Bucky spun you into his arms before you could respond.
The moment he pulled you into the dance, the rest of the festival seemed to fade into the background. His hands found your waist, guiding you through the steps with ease, music thrumming beneath your skin. Everything was intoxicating, with the warmth of his palm against the small of your back and the gentle pressure of his fingers as he led you.
His lips dipped close to your ear as you moved, swaying to the rhythm. “So, who is this Leif guy?”
You blinked, momentarily caught off guard, but then sighed, your fingers tightening slightly against his shoulder. “Oh—just… my last Springbond.”
The words felt foreign on your tongue now, distant. “It didn’t really work out in the end.”
Bucky hummed, his thumb brushing slow, lazy circles over your hip. “Why not? Sounded like you lasted longer than a week.”
You huffed a quiet laugh, tilting your head back slightly to meet his gaze.
“Well… we just had different paths. He wanted to explore, adventure, sleep around…” You trailed off, gaze flickering to the firelight dancing in his blue eyes. “I was looking to settle. I’m just tired after everything. I feel you would understand that.”
His grip on you tightened ever so slightly, his gaze dark and steady as he murmured, “I understand you completely, angel.”
Something in the way he said it made your chest ache, warmth curling in your stomach in a way that had nothing to do with the fire or the wine or the exhilaration of the chase. He understood.
You held his gaze, the firelight dancing over his face. There was something ancient in his eyes, something heavy, worn by time and battle. You had known, of course, what he and Steve were before they arrived in New Fernwick—everyone did.
And yet, when the war ended, when the Riftborn were vanquished and peace finally settled over the world, they had simply walked away. But peace was a fickle thing, and you often wondered if it had truly found them in return.
Bucky’s fingers flexed against your waist, grounding you back in the present.
“You ever think about it?” you asked softly.
He tilted his head slightly, the movement curious. “Think about what?”
You hesitated for only a moment before speaking. “The way things used to be. Before.”
His jaw tensed, but he didn’t look away.
“Sometimes.” His voice was quieter now, thoughtful. “I don’t miss it. But it’s hard to let go of something that shaped you.”
You nodded, understanding. The past had a way of clinging to people, no matter how far they ran.
He exhaled a quiet laugh, shaking his head.
“Steve took to peace like it was always meant for him. I think he’s been waiting for it his whole life. Me…” He trailed off, his lips pressing into a faint line. “I think I’m still figuring it out.”
Your heart squeezed in your chest. He deserved peace just as much as anyone else.
As the music slowed, your hands slid from his shoulders, fingers tracing the length of his arms before settling over his. His grip tightened instinctively like he knew what you were about to say.
“Come home with me.” The words were quiet, tentative, but certain.
Bucky stilled for half a beat, and then his lips parted, his breath warm against your cheek.
“Yes.”
No hesitation. No doubt. Just certainty, as if he had been waiting for you to ask.
—
The door creaked softly as you pushed it open, stepping inside with Bucky close behind you. You moved awkwardly through the space, glancing at the walls, the furniture, anything but him, as though it could distract from the knot forming in your stomach. The house felt both too small and too big now, the empty rooms amplifying the tension in the air.
Bucky stepped in after you, his boots echoing softly on the wooden floor as he glanced around. His gaze lingered on the fire's warm glow in the hearth, he seemed at ease. His eyes scanned every corner of the space, taking in the simple comforts of home. A slight smile tugged at the corner of his lips.
You shifted nervously, breaking the silence with an anxious laugh. “You don’t actually have to do the full week if you don’t want to... I mean, most people just use it as an excuse to get off work—” Your words stumbled out, and you cut yourself off, realising how ridiculous you probably sounded.
Bucky turned toward you, his eyes dark with amusement but softened with something else, a quiet intensity. He was silent for a long moment, focusing entirely on you. Finally, his lips quirked up, and his voice was low and deliberate.
“Sweetpea, I love the sound of your beautiful voice, but just shut up... and kiss me.”
Before you could respond, his hands were already pulling you close, his mouth slanting over yours in a searing kiss that left no room for hesitation. You melted against him, your body pressing into his with a soft urgency, both of you stumbling as you navigated the space towards the bed. His grip on you was firm and reassuring, yet there was a rawness to it, an unspoken need that made your heart race faster.
You fumbled through the room together, bumping into furniture. Your hands sought purchase on his broad chest or tangled in his hair as you kissed desperately, blindly. The dim light from the hearth barely illuminated the path ahead. His lips were warm and hungry, pulling at yours with an intensity that made your pulse spike.
There was a quiet reassurance in how his hands roamed over your body, the steady pressure of his touch as though he wanted to anchor you in the here and now. He wasn’t rushing, wasn’t treating this like a fleeting moment. You laughed softly against his lips as you stumbled into the bed, falling together in a tangled heap of limbs and tangled sheets. For a moment, all that mattered was the warmth of his skin against yours, the unspoken understanding that this was something different, something real.
Something that could last.
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