#feel a lot more like concepts to them than people
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i am so curious what you think about fearne as a character, especially in the full context of this campaign, and how she ranks in terms of contributing good storytelling. she was consistently my least favorite (ie., lovely and entertaining to watch, but not personally interesting or dimensional in a way that made me care, and more often than not, frustratingly avoidant of plot or depth) and i'm wondering how much you'd relate to that. i'm interested in hearing an alternate perspective! this is an invitation for as much of your thoughts as you have them, because i love reading your posts and meta. have a great day <3
Hey anon, thank you!
I find myself in an awkward place here because I do like Fearne for a couple reasons, and I think a major one is because I think Ashley is one of the only people at the table who actually explored, in-character, that Fearne was an indecisive person who was terrified of making the wrong choices (notably during both the aftermath of the first Otohan fight, and during the whole course of Shardgate). Like, Fearne's disconnect at times from the world, and moments of self-centeredness, and indecision all felt very true to Ashley's original concept both in EXU Prime and the general concept of fey morality. I also think that in a campaign with a number of fraught familial relationships that were underserved, Fearne's was, while still not given the time I wish it had been, one of the strongest. Fearne deciding, after meeting her missing parents, that she wasn't sure if she liked them felt very earned and true, and it felt like she put in the work when she later spoke to them during the party's time resting in the Feywild.
I also give Fearne something of a pass because I think she was put in perhaps the least enviable spot of all this campaign, and that's saying something. While I think pretty much every character would have been much, much better had we focused more on their backstory and exploring and resolving that, Ashley's intended darker fairytale concept was just...abandoned. Like we got Ligament Manor and Morri, and they were great! But there was no plot for her in the feywild other than "your parents are caught up in this moon thing, and your birth father is also caught up in this moon thing". The first part came up very early and got quickly overshadowed by the rest of the whole Bassuras pile-up, and the second part came out right before the Ruidus scouting mission and was perhaps one of the worst victims of the late campaign breakneck pacing. Honestly, a lot of the feywild stuff felt oddly insubstantial - we know that breaking the fey key apparently did something, and that breaking up the meeting in Pravenier prevented Fey allies from attacking Vox Machina at the key in the end (though it's hard to say exactly what that would have entailed), but like...was the Seelie Court working in opposition? Were there any extraplanar allies in the Accord? Was the Feywild at risk here, as Ollie believed it to be? Because it never entered into Bells Hells' considerations! All the Feywild plot threads just went nowhere. Even their greatest fey ally, Ira, was far more motivated by his own dislike of Ludinus than any loyalty to Fearne; the party didn't really need to cultivate him as an ally, he just showed up.
And then, of course, there's the fact that Fearne was a Ruidusborn, but she wasn't THE Ruidusborn, she wasn't exaltant, that was Imogen - and the cool thing she did get, the spark of Rau'shan, was a great moment but was, like Ashton's titan abilities, mechanical and some cool scenes only but not relevant to Predathos in a meaningful way any more so than like, Chetney's ability to turn into a wolf was. I don't even think Ashley was being particularly indecisive, or rather, the Zathuda and Yu "should we kill them or no" scenes were excruciating in the lack of decision, but I feel that the problem was she was given absolutely nothing to fucking work with and that's not her fault. I think it's a testament to Ashley's ability as an actor that I do feel she had depth and even a little character development because she was essentially pushed into a thankless second fiddle role. When I think of the people who actually made an effort to do small solo scenes or seek other people out, Fearne praying to the Wildmother or Raven Queen and pickpocketing scenes stand out as bright spots.
So I think it's valid to be frustrated or not vibe, but I think it's entirely a DM-ing problem. This campaign was really not made to accommodate Fearne's concept.
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[takes a long drink from my Arizona iced tea] so like one of the central themes for FFXV is like, growing up, sure. You know that, I know that, whatever. Coming of age, coming into your own, taking the mantle of king, whatever you wanna call it. Cool, awesome, we love a good coming of age story!
But I find the sub theme of that one to be probably the most fascinating? By and large, all the chocobros have to deal with the fallout of being lied to by the adult figures in their lives, and it's the most prevalent with Noctis and Gladio. Don't get me wrong, there's a lot of it in Ignis and Prompto too, but the particularly insidious way that Noctis and especially Gladio were lied to sometimes gets me.
See I don't even really think it was actually all that intentional. Not really a conscious act by Regis and Clarus, or the society around them? More like... I dunno, the lies that you get told by your parents as a little kid and you grow up to realize that the world is a lot different than you thought.
That being said, Noctis was absolutely lied to by his father; both about the nature of the King of Light and the idea that he'd succeed Regis as reigning monarch. Regis did it out of love, knowing that Noctis would die young, and reasoned that Noctis should get to have a relatively normal life, but it was still a lie. Gladio, likewise, was lied to by his father and Regis, told that he would be the next monarch's Shield, that he would fulfill a role that's got a pretty set expectation in their society.
See, Gladio expects Noctis to act a certain way, to act as King, and he gets increasingly frustrated when Noctis doesn't, or can't live up to that. He's not precisely wrong to expect it either, given their roles and their statues, and knowing that they're taking the throne during a full blown war. The problem is that Noctis was never taught how to be the thing that Gladio was told Noctis was going to be? And that's what causes friction with them all the time. It's fascinating, watching it play out and realizing the underlying issues with their relationships actually have very little to do with them as people and instead because of what they were told to expect from each other.
Gladio is also his own kettle of fish that I don't think the narrative is quite self aware enough to articulate properly, or even get into. Gladio falls into the trap of toxic masculinity very often -- struggling to articulate his feelings, expressing most of his feelings as anger, picking fights rather than talking about what's going on, using his strength as both a character aspect and bonus, etc. The list goes on. There's also the fact that he's sort of portrayed as a bit of a womanizer and the masculine ideal; tall, rugged, strong, etc which plays into all of that. XV plays him very straight (and straight) with these concepts, and just sort of ... expects it to be fine? Which is at odds with how the other three bros interact and are more emotionally available towards each other, leaving Gladio as one of the weaker bros in canon.
It kind of sucks too, because like, there's so much to unpack with him? His DLC is about wanting to have the strength to protect Noctis on the surface, but really when you look at it... you could also argue that the DLC is about Gladio's fears that he'll end up as dead as his dad did (ha, try that for alliteration) and the crushing weight of failure. Gladio has every right to fear his mortality, fear the fact that he is, nominally, the first in line on the battlefield and the the last defense for Noctis. If Noctis is to die, they will go through him first, and that's! Scary! But the game doesn't really get into that, hardly at all, and it makes picking up the pieces for Gladio kind of frustrating. Out of all the bros, he's the one I have to dig the most to find any kind of depth despite being prime real estate for it.
Anyways Gladio and Noctis' dynamic is fascinating if you actually start to unpack it, especially because it's built on the lies that their fathers fed them as children (that they themselves also bought into). I'd go so far to argue that between the two pairs, Noct/Gladio is in much more of a dire need to sit down and actually hash out what they are to each other, outside of their king/shield dynamic. Noct/Iggy certainly has shades of that, but Ignis has decided that they are friends and that he will defy fate if he must, let the world burn if he must, to save Noct's life. That has some depth beyond king/retainer that they're presented as. Noct/Gladio are sort of just... falling into the king/shield dynamic because they're expected to, and it sort of hampers their relationship and their communication.
I'm gonna scramble them both like eggs, probably into an omelette. They make me Think you know
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— pretty girl
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genre; smut, some fluff
pairings; nonidol!taehyun, fratboy!taehyun, female!reader
w/c; 2.5k
synopsis; “guys usually think of me as ‘one of the guys’ so i guess i never had the opportunity.” you explain and he hums, then shakes his head. “that’s a shame.”
warnings; dirty talk, female receiving oral, fingering, cursing, alcohol, virgin fingering, guided masturbation
[ masterlist ]
a/n; i started writing this at 3 am, i got bags on my bags yall wtf. i had no inspiration to write but then i thought about this concept and kinda wrote a plot around it lmao. i hope u enjoy <3
soobin, yeonjun, beomgyu, taehyun, and hueningkai made up the most popular frat house in the college you all attended.
when they’re around, it’s more partying than studying and considering you were their best friend, you were included in that.
“[Y/N], your turn to babysit beomgyu if he gets too drunk tonight.” soobin calls out from his room and you pout, looking at the lightweight boy who is already starting to take shots.
“my nanny for the night.” beomgyu yells loudly and opens his arms wide for you to hug him from the couch he sat at.
you shake your head at his advance and instead take a shot for yourself. “that’s all i’m drinking tonight, watching beomgyu is a full time job, he likes to run around outside naked when he’s drunk.”
“i thought you supported free the nipple.” yeonjun teases and you raise an eyebrow. “i do support free the nipple, but i don’t support free the penis and traumatize the old lady down the street.” you shoot back and everyone laughs at the memory.
beomgyu raises his hands in defense, “it was kai’s shift but he obviously failed.” you nod in agreement and flop on the couch next to soobin who just finished getting dressed for the party.
“well, i was having the best sex of my life that night, so it was worth it.” you scrunch your face at him continuing in detail about the best blow job ever and technique she used on him.
after a minute you plug your ears with your fingers and rest your head on soobin’s shoulder until they were done.
“why are you so grossed out by sex talk [Y/N]? have you even seen a penis?” beomgyu tries to make fun of you but you just raise an eyebrow. “yes, yours, remember? i was the one who caught you, and it wasn’t impressive so i wouldn’t be talking.”
you always talked bluntly and hard-toned around them, which you think helped made them not see you as woman, but more of a sister.
as they all laughed, beomgyu was fake crying and you lean over to give him a hug. “i’m sorry my gyu, i was joking, you have the biggest pp in the world.” you giggle, rocking him back and forth.
“let’s get her boys.” he simply says, wiping his fake tear and the others start tickling you all over until you start kicking.
— —
an hour into the party you look everywhere for beomgyu but finally spot him on the couch making out with someone random. you nod to yourself because now you know he’s safe and inside, then go to soobin’s room.
you were quite anti-social tonight and alcohol usually helps that but since you can’t drink you decided to just watch movies in soobin’s room until the party is over.
you press play on the movie and set a timer for 30 minutes so you know when to check on beomgyu again.
“it’s unlocked,” you yell out, not feeling like standing up again and taehyun walks in with his bright smile that lights up any room.
“i thought you might’ve needed this.” he chuckles and hands you one of his blended alcohol mixtures. “i didn’t put a lot of tequila in it, don’t worry, you won’t get drunk.”
you take a sip and hum, “yummy, thank you. how is the party?” you ask and he sits at the end of the bed. “it’s the same as always, drunk people everywhere.”
you nod and take another sip of the drink before setting it aside. “why are you in here? there’s dudes out there asking about you.”
“i’m good, they’re probably drunk and expect me to put out just because i’m friends with 5 guys.” you giggle and shake your head at the thought of letting them touch you.
“it’s college though, this is our prime.” you just shrug your shoulders gently, “i’m not looking for a fuck and dump.”
he hums and the room randomly got awkward which usually wasn’t the case with taehyun. “why are you being nosey tonight?” you finally speak and he chuckles, “i just didn’t want you to miss out i guess, may i join you in here?”
you scoot over on the bed to make room for taehyun and take the drink he made down in one gulp.
he admires you taking the whole thing at once and laughs at the face you made. even though you weren’t drunk, his laughing makes you join him and soon the both of you were laughing at nothing but each others noises.
“are you sure you aren’t a lightweight [Y/N]?” taehyun questions with a soft chuckle when the two of you settle down. “no, i think your energy just makes me drunk.”
he nods and looks at the tv, wrapping his arm behind you so the two of you were cuddling, it didn’t feel uncomfortable but it was definitely new for you.
“i have another question.” taehyun speaks up 10 minutes later and you look up at him. “yes?” he bites the inside of his cheek as he tries to find a proper way to ask it. “are you a virgin?”
you blush at the sudden curiosity of your friend and hide your face in his shoulder. “yes, guys usually think of me as ‘one of the guys’ so i guess i never had the opportunity.” you explain and he hums, then shakes his head. “that’s a shame.”
“no i’m okay with it, i don’t know what i’m missing, so i don’t really try to find it.” taehyun clicks his tongue and looks down at you. “you’re not one of the guys, you’re just [Y/N].”
you purse your lips at the sound of him talking and look up at him again. “was that a compliment?” taehyun chuckles and hums, eyes still on the tv as he rubs your exposed belly, due to the crop top you’re wearing, with his thumb.
your eyes go down to his movements and he notices, “is that bothering you?” you shake your head and smile.
taehyun traces his finger tip around your hip and plays with the waistband of your shorts, “will you tell me when i start making you uncomfortable?” he asks softly and you take a deep breath before nodding.
he slowly slides his fingers under your shorts and quickly finds your clit through your panties, giving it a soft rub.
“have you ever masturbated?” he asks in your ear with a low voice you weren’t used to. “yes.” he lets out a chuckle and continues to rub.
“do you like my hand better?”
your breath hitched before you nod fast, “y-yes.”
taehyun smirks and lifts up your panties, putting pressure on your bare clit with his finger to see how sensitive you were.
you gasp at the feeling and buck your hips softly in his hand. “has anyone ever licked your pussy?” he questioned, sliding one of his fingers up and down your folds to get your clit wet.
you shake your head with a whine at his fingers and he nods in return. “may i be the first?”
the thought of losing your virginity tonight made you nervous but also excited so you nod hesitantly. “are you sure? use your words.”
you bite your lip and squeeze your thighs together which made him chuckle. “you can eat my pussy.” taehyun smirks and sits up, taking the blanket off of you so he could kiss your belly.
“i’ll stop when you want me to pretty girl.” he reassures and you nod, looking down at him so close to something only you have ever touched.
he takes off your shorts and panties together, then looks up at you with smirk. “it should be criminal to keep something so beautiful hidden.” taehyun laughs, admiring your glistening pussy while you blush.
he leans in and gives your clit a few kisses to see your reaction. each kiss made your body jolt a little with sensitivity and he smiles, finding it cute.
“spread your legs wider.” he says in a comforting voice and you comply, spreading further with a shy blush.
taehyun licks his tongue up and down to lap up your juices with a hum, “sweet.” you giggle at him and hide your face.
your hips involuntary jerk when he takes your clit in his mouth and sucks, then moving his tongue in swirling movements. “fuck.” you moan out, tilting your head back in pleasure.
taehyun was very skillful with his mouth, he knew how to make a woman feel good. while his tongue was busy flicking your clit over and over, his finger hovered your hole.
“have you ever fingered yourself?” he asks when he pulls away from your clit and smirks, rubbing the hole slowly. “yes.” he hums, not satisfied with the answer. “tell me how it felt pretty girl.”
you blush at the name and look down to meet his eyes. “it was amazing, i put two fingers in and was shaking from how good it felt.”
taehyun swiftly goes up to your face and kisses your lips deeply before adding a finger inside your pussy with no warning which made you moan in the kiss.
“i think you’ve been secretly waiting for someone to fuck you with the way you talk.” he growls in your ear while he pumps his finger hard inside of you and adds a second one.
you gasp at the second finger, feeling your walls stretch with each thrust until it was used to the size. “i make myself cum just fine.” you smirk breathlessly and spread your legs wider.
“i’m sure you do pretty girl, but when i’m done with you, you’ll be wanting more than fingers.” you hated to admit he was right, all you wanted now was to feel his dick inside of you.
you kiss his lips again and moan so the party goers didn’t hear you yelling his name, which you wanted to do.
taehyun curls his fingers inside of you so he hit your spot each time and you whimper at the feeling. “rub your clit baby, just like you do when you’re alone.”
you blush and do as he says, starting to sweat at the feeling of being close. he watches when you lick your fingers then rub your nub as fast as you can and he smirks. “are you about to cum?”you nod and throw your head back so you could let out a strained moan.
when he heard you were close, he goes back down and moves your hand so he could take your clit in his mouth again.
with the pressure of his fingers pounding into you and his tongue flicking your clit fast, you finally let out a loud moan then cum hard on his slender fingers. he smirks against you and pulls out with his tongue still swirling around your clit until you were twitching from sensitivity.
he wipes his mouth after licking all your juices up and lays next to you again, satisfied with his work. “that was the best feeling i’ve ever had.” you giggle and wipe your forehead of sweat and try to steady your breathing.
taehyun chuckles and kisses your forehead gently, “good, i’m glad i could help.” you were still naked on the bottom half of your body when soobin opens the door.
you shuffle to find the blanket and he makes a frowned face. “on my bed? taehyun, your room is literally right next door. the party is almost over and beomgyu is no where to be seen, have you been checking on him [Y/N]?”
you press your lips together and notice your phone alarm has been ringing for the past 20 minutes but the pleasure took over all your other senses.
“i’ll find him, get cleaned up [Y/N] and go to your room taehyun.” he shakes his head and you try not to laugh.
“yes dad.” you both say in unison and laugh with each other.
soobin sighs and mutters words you couldn’t hear, “let’s go pretty girl, tonight you’re sleeping in my room, i think we’ll have some more fun.”
#txt taehyun#txt soobin#txt scenarios#txt x reader#yeonjun txt#txt yeonjun#txt headcanons#txt smut#txt post#txt#kang taehyun#taehyun x reader#taehyun smut#taehyun fluff#taehyun x you#taehyun moodboard#taehyun hard hours#taehyun hard thoughts#tomorrow x together#taehyun fanfic#taehyun layouts#taehyun txt#taehyun tomorrow x together#taehyun imagines#taehyun icons#taehyun oneshot#taehyun drabble#taehyun scenarios#taehyun soft thoughts#taehyun soft hours
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I'm kind of an egg/questioning if I'm tmasc or not rn, so sorry if I don't fit, but I need advice 😭
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I've been thinking about what it would be like to be a guy since I were like 14 or so, but I've heard stories about transgender people since I were like 7-8 at best. And in the process of questioning, I've met a few signs that I might be, but at the same time not?
I dreaded at the concept of periods and breasts. I remember feeling like dying when I got both of them. Back when I was younger than that, I used to go well with male classmates and when wandering around transformation tropes (I had... unrestricted internet access), I sometimes asked to myself "how come there's TFs of man to woman but never woman to man?" I also used to wonder WHY there was barely any guys in certain communities like fandoms or artists (Not in a "eh men better" way but moreso because I was curious as of the why), as well as being more curious about male puberty and surprisingly close to my dad as a kid compared to my mom. Is all weird, probably they're signs or not. I don't care.
---
Part of me fears that I'm not trans because I didn't found out about tomboys/FtMs until pre pandemic (2017-2019), via youtube videos explaining it (most of the trans media I used to watch was either MtF-centric or just "man in a dress" jokes). And also because I used to like a LOT of commonly "feminine" and cutesy interests in my childhood, probably a few masc ones but mostly fem. And how do I know if I'm genuinelly trans or just a "generic puberty thing"? I mean, obviously all girls hates being girls and sometimes wishes they were boys, right? Do all people sometimes think about what it would like to be another gender?
I mean... I think I would be better if I had a flatter chest, or maybe a deeper voice along with shorter hair and a less defined waist. But hey maybe is just normal. I'm still not an adult yet (despite that I'll be turning into one this year). Maybe they'll go away once I'm 20 or something
I want to talk about it with my psychologist but I'm also scared of opening up about them. I've repressed them so badly that maybe is actual dysphoria or just a mess of feelings.
No no, people who are questioning are absolutely welcome to submit asks!!
From personal experience I myself can tell you I had a very similar experience - only difference is I did assume trans men existed pre-pandemic but I'd never actually heard of one. And especially never thought I could be one myself.
I mean, obviously all girls hates being girls and sometimes wishes they were boys, right? Do all people sometimes think about what it would like to be another gender?
Sweetie... oh... no they don't. We were the ones who did that.
I can't speak for 100% certain because I don't know the inner aspects of your life, but... it kind of sounds like you know the answer and just kinda can't admit it to yourself.
We all went through that. It takes a little time. But you'll come to terms with it. I'd be more than happy if you ever came back and wanted to talk more. We're here with open arms :D
#tmasc confession#egg behaviour#🪼#my first egg ask... this is a huge moment for me#i genuinely wish you the best anon!!!!#squeeee
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Concept: While at Camp Halfblood, Jason would volunteer to help out in the infirmary.
Even without his memories Jason wasn’t exactly used to just standing around doing nothing.
Camp activities were fun but he felt the need to be more purposeful with his time. Training was always an option but didn’t feel right doing it alone.
But no one else would go near him so Jason didn’t dare ask.
While mulling it over he noticed someone miss a step on the lava wall and begin to fall.
He raced over but he was too far so though he managed to catch them they did end up getting hurt on the way down.
Immediately Jason asked for for directions to the infirmary. It was as busy as ever. were many campers inside with varying degrees of injury. But there weren’t nearly as many medics.
In fact they seemed pretty overwhelmed and so without thinking Jason inspected the campers injuries.
Luckily it didn’t seem like they had a concussion but just a few scrapes.
Jason managed to find some bandages and perhaps it was the urgency of the situation that had the camper allow him to help.
He had found a space a ways away from the others and began to bandage their wounds. It wasn’t clinical precision but it was good enough.
When Jason was done he noticed that one of the medics had walked over and was watching him. The kid seemed around his age, maybe a bit younger.
But as a medic he clearly had authority over this place and Jason was painfully aware he may have misreport. So he immediately started apologising for intruding.
“Hey, don’t worry about it” said the medic boy with an easy going smile. It put Jason at ease a little, knowing he wasn’t in trouble. He stepped aside and let him examine the camper.
“Well, you’ve done a pretty good job” the medic said and the camper was allowed to leave. Though not before they thanked Jason who said it was no trouble.
“I’ll be honest, for a second I thought you were one of my siblings but your Thalia’s brother aren’t you?” Jason nodded “Jason Grace, son of Zeus” he introduced though clearly the other knew who he was.
Looking at him, Jason could see why that mistake could’ve been made. With the blonde hair and blue eyes, they could’ve passed for siblings more than his actual sister and he did.
“Will Solace, son of Apollo” said Will, he looked at Jason curiously. “You have a lot of experience with first aid?” Jason shrugged “A little, I’d get pretty banged up playing sports. I figured I should learn to patch myself up.”
Not to mention all the fights he’d get into with bullies but that didn’t seem appropriate to bring up on a first meeting.
Will nodded “well you seem pretty good at it. And well, we could use some extra hands if you’re up for it.”
Jason was surprised, he hadn’t exactly been well relieved by the camp and now Will was offering him something he could do. To help, to be useful like Jason had wanted.
He accepted.
From then Jason became a rather familiar face at the infirmary. He used what information he knew and was a fast learner. Not many people wanted to be treated by him but it was either that or stay injured.
Regardless of how people may feel, Jason was always kind. He did whatever he was told and stayed back to help clean up and assist the other Apollo kids.
Will seemed to accept him and as time went on so did the rest. It was hard not too really and Jason even managed to force them all take regular breaks.
He also may have punched someone for getting too hostile and threatening to give them a matching black eye.
Which definitely helped.
#his name does mean to heal#jason grace#will solace#heroes of olympus#percy jackon and the olympians
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Dancer 🤝 Helmet being low empathy despite literally having different flavors of mind reading
#rat rambles#eternal gales#Im like 75% sure Ive made this post bit shhhhgh#any old blog posts might as well not exist#anyways helmet has more general mind reading while dancer ironically has emotion reading#but they both still struggle to rly. connect with the emotions they detect#especially for helmet since their mind reading is near constantly active so it all just feels like white noise to them#dancer's is only rly active when hes particularly stressed out or just otherwise feeling strong emotions#because of how his body works it takes a lot less stress or excitement to activate his abilities than your average stalien#but yeah his emotions reading is smth hes very rarely benifited from since it just feels the same to him as like watching someone be#visibly upset#aka he doesnt rly connect with these forien emotions at all he can sometimes like name what they are but it doesnt rly click as real to him#during his crashes this tends to be one of the big things that hes ashamed of as he sees it as a personal faliure even tho its not#helmet's low empathy is also linked to trauma mostly from yknow. being surrounded by dying children for several years.#they struggle a lot with letting themself see the ppl around them as fellow living beings and even those they do care abt can sometimes#feel a lot more like concepts to them than people#dancer and helmet have a very. complicated relationship because of all of these factors#dancer actually hated helmet at first due to how quickly busy started liking them#but once helmet started giving him free stuff and just generally being nice to him he warmed up to them pretty quick#the two of them are pretty chill friends but after the initial ok cool guess I have a friend now 👍 period some quiet conflict arose a bit#mostly in the fact that the others abilities make both of them quite paranoid#dancer is trying to manage it but helmet is like 100% convinced that of dancer ever reads their emotions he'll learn that they secretly#are an uncaring husk (theyre not) and he'll think theyre a monster (he wont)#theyre both just so scared that the other secretly hates them and theyre both alergic to communication so its just them dying slowly#meanwhile busy is just sitting there going 'I can fix them' at the both of them (she cant but shes kind of helping at least)
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the juppet !! i just realised he is jerma posing i swear that was unintentional...... i spent so long digging thru muppet concept art and looking at old puppet designs just to end up doing a rly simple drawing but. i love joehills!! i have only been watching them for like 4 years but their videos r so special to me :3
#i would love to do a more complex drawing inspired by muppet concept art at some point... just wanted to give myself a bit of a break#i've been spending So much time on these drawings every day n it's not really sustainable for me to be spending multiple hours every day#when i have so much work i should be doing...... but i rly enjoyed this silly little muppet even if it's v simple for my standards#tbh i'm surprised i even made it this far into the challenge.. we're like two thirds in ?!!?!#i've only ever completed an art challenge once and that was inktober in 2018... and those were SIMPLE drawings#my standards are a lot higher than they were 6 years ago... but also there's extra pressure because i'm posting these#and i know i don't Have to post them but. it's a way of keeping myself accountable because i am terrible at that without outside motivation#omg why do i always ramble So much in tags this is ridiculous i'm so sorry if anyone actually reads these....#anyways i rly hope my people drawing skills r improving..#i doubt there will be noticable difference but i hope i feel at least a little more confident by the end of this#hermitaday#horsemeatluvr does hermitaday#horsemeat gallery#joehills#joehills fanart#joe hills#joe hills fanart#hermitcraft#traditional art#unedited sketchbook drawings 4 the win (i've given up on scanning n editing these or even taking them in proper lighting... too much effort)#i'm just a little guy
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"i happened to not find this character very interesting or likeable" doesn't automatically mean they're an objectively bland and boring character it just means you have a personal opinion
#jane is a very nuanced character who suffers from both violent childhood trauma and grooming#she's a clumsy teenager still trying to navigate her friendships and social life with her other clumsy teenager friends#and she's not great at it all the time and neither are they but she still cares about them! that's an interesting character concept!#again you don't have to find her interesting if that's not your preference. but that doesn't mean everyone feels the same way#also she is more similar to the fandom's most specialest boy (dave) than a lot of people realize but she's a Girl so she's not allowed to#be treated or viewed in the same ways as him. but i won't get into it#now. if you want to argue that her character arc got cut short and didn't really amount to much? that's a valid argument to make + i can#see how that might make people like her less. but it's less of her being a bland character and more ''uh oh the story had to end'' flavor#of weird act 6 writing that a lot of characters got shafted with#tldr you're allowed to not like jane but don't be surprised when other people do <3
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the way that diff languages sound r so fascinating they're all different and all so vivid
#russian is like the surface of a feather like it's light but not exactly “soft” but still very delicate#german is . cute ? i think it's adorable . it has a lot of momentum it makes u wanna talk fast and talk a lot#like it's squishy . sleek surface w a soft inside#thai is like song . it's like interprative dance or maybe a trust-fall . everything follows from the previous thing#it feels like a little fairy flying up and letting itself fall and flying up again and so on (for fun). its so beautiful but also playful#mandarin chinese is like . idk why but it gives me the same vibe the concept of Observation does . like to read and to see and absorb#and then to translate that into smth else . like . imagine a poet people watching or an artist preparing a canvas w practiced hands. thats#the vibe. soft and elegant and musical but like...in a way that feels lived-in. arabic feels wise ? like music or poetry u read#and feel nothing about then years later u stumble on and it applies to everything in ur life. that kind of vibe. like it knows more than u#and itll make sure ur heart and soul grows as big as its lexicon . polish is like snowflakes falling . it has the feeling of complexity and#elegance but it's also so so light and slippery and...maybe not elusive but the feeling of losing a dance partner in a waltz ? like fun and#light but also an underlying elegance and somberness still . turkish is like the feeling when u get a text from ur crush#and your heart tightens and you cant tell if it's really painful or really amazing . it feels like unrequited love . or a caress#or making out with someone when you know its the last time you'll see them. its beautiful in a yearning longing way#korean is like joking around w ur friends and you've stayed up until like almost 5 AM and youre so delirious that everything is funny#and ur speaking kind of lightly and openly and everything you say holds a lot of weight and doesnt matter at all. you laugh at everything#and youre practically talking in inside jokes and watching the sunrise together . one of them hits u on the shoulder lovingly. ur by a fire#yoruba feels like the metatheory of the matatheory . abstraction until it circles back to intuition or maybe#it feels like plotting the route of a comet or maybe like the soft warm whirr of statistics. trying to verbalise beauty somehow#when you know the best thing you can show it is by telling everyone just look!! look at the sky just look!#anyway yh i think i could do this for every language ever tbh
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Dear silm fandom, concerning Fandom meta. Might be provocative for some.
‘The silm fandom is misogynistic’ ‘Feanorian fans are misunderstanding the characters’ ‘Silm fans hate Elwing’ And so on.
Can we stop? Your opinions are not better if you like feanorians. Your opinions are not better if you like peredhil. This is not black and white. I won’t argue ‘not all silm fans’, because I recognise that we have problems. But condescension will not fix them. Thank you.
#Okay#I tried to keep this post as neutral and concise as I could#Because I’m having a lot of thoughts about it#and I’m going to get very opinionated in the tags.#I am sick of feeling hated by online strangers because they think I’m a misogynist#or they think I haven’t read the text#Or they think I’m not as clever#not as understanding as they are#Yes#I am fifteen.#Maybe you do understand the text more than me.#or maybe we both have valid opinions and you can stop telling me I belong in a category that isn’t mine.#I like celegorm#i accept that Celegorm has done vile things#i am still compelled by his character#I am not fucking reading him wrong#I am trying so hard to read him right#People will say ‘I am a feanorian stan but-‘ and proceed to insult all feanorian stans#Be nice#please stop acting all high and mighty#and I get it! It’s hard!#it’s hard to have opinions and be kind about them#Because not everyone’s opinions are the same#But for god’s sake you better think so hard about what you’re saying before you post it#because you sound like you are ignoring fandom discourse and the concept of ‘morally grey’ because of woke#And I know the very things I’m saying are exactly what I’m trying to stop#But I would like some counter-representation out there#I would like some honest conversation that doesn’t involve immediate side-taking#Tags:#mine
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Just saw this comment on a story posted a month ago.
*cries in Eddie Munson Solo Series no one wanted to read, interact with or request for*
No shade to the person that commented this on their own fic if you recognize it. It's not their fault. I'm not mad at them. More crying in the tags.
#and no I didn't tag the solo series like I normally would because it's not about THAT. It's not about trying to get people to read it#It was just really ouchie to see the same concept I wrote 2 years ago get triple the notes in ONE MONTH.#and double the notes of my solo series masterlist in general in one month vs 2 years of my stories sitting there rotting#Then I see people saying they need more solo Eddie and I'm just here like my dudes I begged for requests. BEGGED. But bc I wasn't#/have never been a popular writer people don't want it from ME. It's like omg we want THIS but not like that. Not from you.#Can't help but let it get you down when nothing has changed in 2 years. It's not like I worked my way up and have the interaction now#that every other blog I used to commiserate with back in the day is getting currently. Fandom isn't a competition but it's not fair either#and I really struggle with that a lot of the time#Also yes I will concede I should be happy with the notes on the solo series because they are the highest of all the work on my page but#they're still nothing compared to what some people have just hours after posting a new story.#I saw someone complaining the other day that there are less new stories in the fandom than ever 1. That's simply not true. 2. Even if it wa#can you blame writers for giving up when readers are checking the same popular blogs over again or reading the same 5 tropes the same#2 pairings over and over. The same series? Over and over. Ignoring everything else and then complaining that their faves don't post enough?#That the popular writer with the incredible series (that rightfully deserves interaction) hasn't posted a new dad!eddie or rockstar!eddie#drabble in ages meanwhile there are writes out there pouring their souls into dad!eddie and no one reads it. There is so much rockstar Eddi#smut out there that it could sustain a brand new reader for an entire year before they needed a new fic#Idk man. I'm just feeling so defeated. I write for fun now. But there was a point in time where I desperately tried to build a platform by#offering requests and writing a lot of things I would not otherwise write to try and gain traction on my page and every time I see another#food fucking fic get hundreds of notes I get so sad that I wrote that stupid Melon fic because I had people in my life that told me#they would be excited to read it and for what? One of them still talks to me. The others moved on so fast. Most didn't even reblog it.#Some of them have since written their own food fucking fics that got triple the notes of my OG. Again. No shade to them. I don't own the#concept. It's just disheartening and fucking sad above all else. How hard I tried to get people to LIKE me and my stories. 😂#Just sad hours in general tonight my guys. Going to go and pour the bad feelings into Aftermath and then maybe make a bad life choice and#pour all my savings into an ipad#YES I KNOW first world problems. I know. That's why I try not to talk about it bc it seems so petty considering the state of the world#But you can't help what gets you down#EMMs Journal#EMM's Journal
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I'm starting Mission to Zyxx Season 5 now, and I have feelings about that.
First, it generally scares me when people hype anything up at all because there is no guarantee that anyone values the exact same thing I do to the same degree. Even if I trust the creators of a thing to value something and try to do right by it, that doesn't always necessarily mean it will be successful, especially if that involves doing something wildly different than what made it good in the first place (I have been burned this way before). I guess I'm just hoping they continue the format of goofy improv shenanigans for the majority of it with something more planned and emotional in the finale if they want, like they've been doing all along. I'd think they would, and I've heard nothing bad about the ending, but I guess it still makes me nervous because I'm so close to the end and I want it so badly to stick the landing. I'm setting my expectations on the floor so I can be surprised instead of disappointed, but honestly, I don't need it to be better, I just need it to be on par with the rest.
Second, and more briefly, I'm happy it's (hopefully) ending before it has a chance to decline. I am so on board with that philosophy. But on the other hand, finishing a thing that I really, really like and knowing there's not another one out there gives me a special kind of heartache. Like, I know there will be other good media, and stuff that's good and unique in other ways, but I know for a fact that there are no other podcasts out there that have the same mix of a balance of off-the-wall improv and structured narrative, quality comedy, fantastical sci-fi setting and loveable characters, and high quality production. There are other things out there with many of those qualities, but nothing that checks every one of those boxes. It's a lightning-in-a-bottle thing that very much feels like the right people had to be in the right place at the right time to do it. Attempts to do it again would feel hollow because it had to be born out of necessity and passion and the talents of the people involved, so if you switch out the people it loses the reasons it's great, and if the same people tried to do it again it'd feel tired. That makes me so, so grateful it exists, but also so, so sad that it doesn't, and I'm 80% of the way done. When it's over, it's over.
Anyway. Now that that's all out there, I'm just gonna finish listening and have fun. Wish me luck.
#pickle pontificates#mission to zyxx#if you freaking flip on episode 1 after reading this and are like. wow. they're talking a lot about butts and ejecting people into space.#what is pickle on about#well. sue me i guess. idk#I have a lot of feelings about this as a general topic so this is moreso just the most recent thing that's touched on it for me#okay so time for essay 2 in the tags#1. I don't really talk about TAZ on here but it's something I carry with me whenever I think about this kind of thing#I think that in the same vein as MTZ it started off very goofy and directionless and then gave me more emotions than I thought it would#and it's not perfect but balance was a cultural landmark in a lot of ways#i enjoyed amnesty but it didn't have the same spark. what drew me to balance was all the goofy improvisation#and the fact that it was never serious until it was#amnesty (although i loved the setting/concept and enjoyed the characters) crossed the line into taking things more seriously#and while that's not a bad thing in and of itself the thing i enjoy about the mcelroys is when they're goofing around#that's what they're good at and it's why i like them#subsequent arcs suffered the same thing to varying degrees#i slogged through most of graduation for some reason and although ethersea was better i didn't finish it#taz dracula was the first time i've felt that same kind of fun while listening since balance#and I really think it was because they were just getting silly with it. sure yeah elizabeth the sports druid. lady godwin turns into a hors#whatever!#their dad gets to follow through on his ideas and do whatever crazy but kinda logical thing he comes up with#but i guess the point is that to me taz feels very lightning in a bottle. balance is what it's capable of being but is not the default#all the other right ingredients had to be in the soup#2. noragami. ohh noragami.#you wormed your way deep into my heart and then flopped out of it like a messy slimy dead fish#and i can't even be upset about it because the creators sounded so tired and unhappy with the way it ended#but there was so much potential. so many themes that DID hit hard throughout the story and could've knocked a man out cold#had they come back at the end#and they could have right up until so very close!!! it wasn't unsalvageable#in fact it still isn't. you'd hardly have to revise anything. you'd just have to write a different ending
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i feel shy talking here when i dont have anything worth sharing but i cant help feeling like ive said things in the tags that could be brought up in court
#im joking#i think i just get embarrassed saying smth that most ppl can see out in the open. its like when prey animals are grazing in a pasture#and then they hear a twig snap yk. im like that. but talking in the tags is more comfortable because it just feels more.. hidden?? quiet???#its kind of like how i prefer responding thru asks than DMs.. idk if it has something to do with space or less pressure#i also use these as an excuse to ramble a little abt recent events so. ive worked a little bit on shuffle and prestos backstories ^_^#i was thinking abt giving them a shared past where they knew each other as kids and forgot but i also though hmm.. idk if it would drive th#story i want bc i think itd be better if they bonded over similar experiences instead of the fact that they knew each other before. i get#that reconnecting and reconciling your idea of someone now and then is a good concept but id have to think abt it.. i dont want it to feel#like they owe each other to be friends again just bc they were as kids. ive experienced that a lot and all it did was make me feel guilty#so i think id want to write it as u can be friends with someone who had similar experiences and make u wish you knew each other then#i also know theyd hate each other but idk HOW. i suck at writing conflict so idk if theyd try to make each other eat glass and why#idk if itll ever come up but id also like to see if theres a way i could rationalize why they have animal ears.. normally i say aliens#but ive had an idea for a species and background for that too. although its very abstract and it probably has a lot of holes#smth abt peoples souls attaching themselves to smth they identify with.. although i dont know to what extent like if it can#be called a sona or if it can even be smth mythical like a unicorn or god itself.. its very weird rn#yapping#oc talk
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Ep 5!!!
#Episodes that make me go “The author has never talked with a woman ever” 😓😓😓#I don't like how Lucy's character is handled at all. And I feel like I can't talk about it because I'm just going to sound like a bitter–#ss/kk shipper... But I really don't like it. And if it can help my case I'm a multishipper so I really don't take any–#issues with atsu/lucy I like the ship quite a lot actually.#So you're telling me there's this girl... Who meets this boy who pretty much ruined her life by directly causing her to lose her job...#And the next time she sees him she's going to sacrifice her own freedom for him as well as tell him “when you're done doing your things–#come and save me” (longest ewwww ever)... And when she regains freedom (author didn't bother to explain how because they don't care)–#she goes to work... As a waitress at the café beneath his workplace. So he can keep doing his Cool Superpowers Job while she literally–#must serve him every time he visits the place. It's just ?????????????????????????????????#Look‚ I don't dislike Lucy and I feel general affection towards her. It's just that they make her act like no one ever would#Just for the sake of the plot I guess#And like I knoww it's (probably just a little) more nuanced than that. I know Lucy is living her own fairy tale fantasy.#It's just that what I've said about her story is still true‚ you know?#I'm sorry but as sweet as atsu/lucy can be. I really hate the author for making Lucy a waitress. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.#It's so weird. This anime has women writing standards that feel like dating back to the 20s#Same with Katai and the ideal woman tbh. Like why are women to be seen as this abstract impersonal entities? Why can't they just be people?#Ideal for WHO. It's like super screwed up of a concept. What even is an ideal woman? What does it mean to be a woman anyways?#They just want to say “ideal wife”. But women aren't made to be wives their existence isn't functional to another person.#Sorry. I derail. Next episode is going to be even worse on this front ughhhh#Back to the episode: once again it really shows they were running out of budget with this season‚‚‚ the animation looks very suffered#Too many flashback also... I feel bad for the animators tbh#I don't really like the shift in art style :( Not even Atsushi I found particularly pretty this episode my heart cries#The nail pulling thing made me feel like throwing up afhsjyabfsbfwasfvb I feel like I can bear worse gore but there's a couple of little–#specific things I can't stand and this seems to be one of them pffftttt#I like Higuchi I think she's both very funny and cool. I really wish she was explored more (but then again looking at Teruko... )#The relationship between Kunikida and Katai looks so interesting even though we only get glimpses of it. Kunikida regrets Katai leaving–#the ada but is also happy for him but also worries for him. He comes to his house seemingly to check on him and starts cleaning around.#The way he loves him and cherishes their friendship and shared history is really evident and it makes for a compelling dynamic.#Perhaps I should read their short story... In any case. Going to someone's house and compulsively start doing the dishes half out of will–#to help out half because he can't bear the mess sounds a lot like something I'd do lol
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Finally got around to designing this girlie! Her name is Compound, and she’s the leader of a goddess bless party of adventurers! Which is to say she is a huge suck up and absolutely unwilling to acknowledge that she and her party are completely and utterly unqualified for any of the missions they’re being thrown at
#keese draws#oc art#oc#shes ofc part of the same crew as pledge and orthodox#girlie does not know she’s a side character <3#she has always been very loyal to the insight goddess and has worked tirelessly to get into a blessed adventurer party#she very much is willing to do whatever she’s ordered to by the goddess but outside of that she tends to be too sepf righteous to listen to#others and as such she can often come across as very bossy and vaguely threatening to those who work with her#she really likes the imagery of heroism and kindness but she truthfully mostly just likes feeling like she’s in the right#which isn’t to say she’s like super mean or that she doesn’t care abt those around her#she cares a Lot about her friends and does genuinely like helping people#but she also grew up in a very religious family and in yknow. the city that the goddess most of the continent worships lives.#so she generally values herself by how well she follows the gods ideals of heroism opposed to any personal morals#and she values other people by the same metric#and since she’s quite a bit more religious than average even within the area she’s developed a bit of a superiority complex around it#anyways fun fact her shoulderpiece is basically a soulder flask#it’s specifically for storing liquids for her token magical trinket which is a sponge#well it’s the head of one of those pill animal sponges#the body of it was grinded up and melded into her sword#so the size density and some additional bonus properties are all based around the state of the head of the sponge#the head is also attached to a little stick so it can be easily put in and taken out of the shoulder piece when needed#she usually keeps her shoulderpiece filled with warm fluids (usually broths)#this is mostly because the most common type of monsters around are slimes that the warmth and bits of grease help cut through#in theory you could do some much cooler stuff with it but the sponge itself is just yknow. a sponge. so there are some pretty hard limits#like hypothetically you could have a cool acid sword that can melt things but you’d have it for approximately 20 seconds#historically the sponge pieces were mostly used as tools in the kitchen before the relic collection program went into full swing#they Were going to be sent to be used in the palace kitchen but a wesponsmith involved with the project saw potential in them#so the sword bound to a sponge concept was born and made and left to sit around in the armory for a century or two#there’s a lot of various relics that mostly just sit around in the royal armory but over the past 50 years or so letting adventuring#academy students and graduates borrow them has become pretty standard practice
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Oh on last rb's note my friend actually read love bullet per my recommendation hehe and she likes it and it makes me so so happy hehe
#kk rambles#when ppl actually look into the things that u rec or are interested in... wowie... hand in marriage (platonic) u.u#omg u actually were listening to me and remembered and looked into it... heart full of love crying tears of happiness...#that one image of the cat crying. that's me. that's me. planting a big metaphorical smooch on your forehead. i love you.#which ik it sounds silly but i get really moved by things like that ok!! my friend sends me alnst memes even tho she hasn't watched it#and it's like oh u were thinking abt me oh u sent this to me just bc i like it 🥺🥺🥺#I can't believe i exist in your mind even when im not there hehe icb u think about me im going to make pancakes for you in the morning.#we are getting a mansion together and living together forever.#everyone's love languages are a little different and mine are so weird lmao what do you mean i get so touched when ppl think of me#do you think you don't exist as a concept when you're not physically there do you think other ppl don't have object permanence lmao#oh wait#yeah it's the effect of dating someone who made u feel like u didn't exist unless u were initiating stuff n engaging w them /j#but my friends are so sweet to me rahhh#i love my friends#why are my standards so low when my friends are all so nice and treat me well 😭😭😭#so mad that my bsf is happily in a relationship (good for her honestly im v happy for her)#bc now I can't go like. if we're single at 30 let's get married. no homo. just that we've known e/o for so long it would be comfortable#it's crazy bc it's not like i want a romantic relationship but i hate feeling lonely but i also really like my own personal space and time#and I don't really like the small inevitable conflicts that arise from close relationships even though it's part of putting the work in#but i like a certain amount of stability and predictability (autism) so i think what i need. is a roommate.#a friend who lives together w me but in separate rooms but i can cook for them type cohabitation lmaoo#but that's kinda idealistic and kinda gay lmao#my friend called me a friend simp and my other friend joked that i should have a queer platonic cule.#like rahhh yeah i really do love my friends a lot i wanna see them forever they're great and amazing and i love them so much#it's nice to be loved!!! it's nice to be cared abt!!! my friends make me really happy!!!#ik from societal standards I'm a deviation and what i feel is more intense than what normal ppl consider friendships to be like but#I don't quite understand the categorization of human social interactions sometimes ig. why should i cap how much im allowed to love someone#if i love someone i want to see them happy and i want to do things for them and I'm not the type to half ass things.#but society is weird abt things and whatnot but it's fine as long as my friends understand and know i love them hehe#anyway love bullet arospec representation!!! let girls shoot people!!! /hj
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