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cannibal-anon · 10 hours ago

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Imagine knight Yuta being gifted a pretty songbird Reader for all of his efforts.

This wound up being over 10k words. So I hope you like it. I love knights and I love hybrids.

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For years, Yuta Okkotsu gave himself fully to the crown and protected the members of the royal family as well as the people of the kingdom. Never complaining, never failing, even when he was tired and injured it was always his task first. The king, whom he'd served under since an age of adolescence, often offered Yuta many words of praise for his good work. Higher pay, a home on the castle grounds, he was rewarded handsomely.

And after a particularly, should we say difficult, win, it seems only right that he be gifted something extraordinary. Something sweet and bound to make him smile. Something to keep him company during his recovery.

Something like you.

You were purchased from a highly respected vendor stationed smack in the middle of the market. One of the king's advisors was the one to collect you, offering the vendor a large sum of money, and tossing a blanket over your cage before having you moved to the castle. You didn't have much time to be frightened or wonder just what was happening as the darkness put you to sleep.

Yuta was called to the castle not long after you were set up in the throne room. And he stands there now. His arm in a sling, his wounds freshly rewrapped by the doctors, the sun's rays shimmering brightly along the cuts on his face and neck. Still, he smiles at the king and offers a bow, hoping that it will suffice as kneeling would cause him great pain at the moment. Rather than his typical armor, he dons his dress uniform. White and black fabric that makes him look more like he belongs among the crowd of onlookers than in front of them. It's made from material more expensive than he can imagine and he only wears it for occasions in which he was instructed.

Like now.

The king had gathered many of the higher ups, nobility of all ranks, as well as much of the castle staff and members of the royal guard. He promises it won't take long and that Yuta can soon retire to his home with his reward. But Yuta knows better when it comes to his king. The man always talks much longer than intended. Which is why Yuta just smiles when he kicks into some kind of speech.

The speech is mostly his highness expressing gratitude towards Yuta, elaborating on his 'amazing' feats for the kingdom, and of course repeatedly admiring his loyalty. It's a subtle method of inspiring the other guards who watch. Yuta hums as he sees one or two of them roll their eyes from the corner of his vision. He's always been the lapdog and that makes them very jealous. He can only imagine what kind of nightmare it is for them to be forced to just stand there and listen.

After what feels like an hour, and honestly might have been, the king brings everyone's attention to the large object behind him that was shrouded in a black cloth. It's tall, taller than the king, which isn't saying much for such a short and stout little man. It's probably closer to Yuta's height. He eyes it sideways. Wondering just what could be under the blanket.

The king says something about presenting Yuta with his gift, a beauty, a rarity, and Yuta's stomach twists as pictures are painted in his mind. What exactly is under there?

With little flourish, the guards beside the king remove the cover and the room fills with gasps and awes. Yuta is left staring directly between the bars of a large gilded cage. Right at a form slumped against the side. A body that slowly reacts to the sudden light and shifts. He, and everyone else, watches you reach up to rub at your eyes as you sit up and look around at all the new faces. You're dressed in expensive clothing, looking almost like a doll with how pristine it is, eyes wide with your lips slightly parted.

You look human.

Mostly.

The thing that sets you apart from the people around you is the orange feathers poking out of your skin. They've fluffed up from you being startled awake, appearing along the underside of your jaw, along your neck, tucked under the fabric of your top, and trailing down your arms. They're few and far between on your arms. A couple rest on the back of your hands as well. There isn't much, rather small, and only in the small patches.

Then something moves from behind you as you rise up slightly on your knees and your hands wrap around the bars before you settle on your calves. Yuta's eyes lock onto the flutter of...

Wings.

Beautiful. With grey feathers contrasting to the orange ones on your body.

The king's voice is loud as he begins to speak beside you and Yuta notes the way you flinch. He smiles brightly and tells Yuta how you are 'a one of a kind specimen, expensive, and a bringer of the sweetest little tunes'.

When the king sweeps his arm out in presentation and takes a small step away from the cage. You feel your heart racing, unable to hear anything but your own blood pumping, as the crowd of humans blink at you impatiently.

This place is different from the market. Out there on the streets although there's lots of people who would come by to gawk at your strange appearance or listen to your song they often dispersed quickly. Ready to move on with their day. You had the occasional curious child or creepy man watch you for longer than normal but now... they're all staring.

You know where you are. This is the castle. And the man next to your cage that was speaking must be the king. In front of you, standing alone down the center of the room, is a beautiful man. He's tall and thin, with black hair neatly brushed back away from his face, but what draws you in the most is his eyes.

They're watching you closely. Everyone in the room is. But his aren't filled with some kind of expectancy. They're soft, kind, his eyebrows upturning into some shadow of concern.

Suddenly, frustrated by your lack of response to his order, there's a loud clang as the king rattled your cage lightly. You leapt away from where his hand snaked through the bars and your wings flapped wildly. They smacked the bars and a few feathers flew loose, floating through the air and landing on the shiny floor. A large grey one landed resting up against Yuta's shoe.

"Go on now. Sing," the king orders.

You heave, your chest rapidly rising and falling so extremely that Yuta can see it clearly, at the startling sound prior but find that his voice is surprisingly not all that angry. He just wants what everyone always wants. From the moment you were captured and stolen from your family, humans have only wanted one thing from you. And that's your voice.

Yuta watches you slowly come back from your panic. He watches you settle yourself back down in the center of your cage. Your wings relax and as if trained to do so, you close your eyes and take in a breath. Then, you open your mouth.

The most gentle song streams from you. It's light, airy, and it floats through the room without so much of a wobble. You sound incredible. A melody that Yuta has never heard before reaches him and swirls around his head, dancing its way into his ears. He feels it wrapping around his heart.

Despite being locked in a cage, your lyrics are filled with love. A fantasy dream that you clearly aren't living. But one that you hope for nonetheless, or maybe you're just trying to distract yourself.

And it's as if all at once Yuta understands exactly what's happening.

You're a robin. A hybrid between a human and the beloved songbird. He's heard their singing before, he's held them in the palm of his hands as a child, and the king is gifting you to him.

When you finish your song and open your eyes you find Yuta's hand, the good one, has reached up high and is clutching at his shirt over his heart. While everyone else in the room claps and turns to their neighbor to fawn over the performance, he seems lost in a trance.

One solid clap from the king pulls him out of it.

"Alright. That concludes the ceremony. Celebrations will continue for the battle won in the great hall. Yuta, my boy, come see your prize."

You stay silent, your eyes never once leaving the man standing front and center, as everyone but him and the king files out of the throne room. The man, Yuta as you now know, makes his way toward your cage but shifts his attention to the king and offers him a low bow.

"You may rise, the formalities have already been shared," the king says with a hearty laugh.

"Your majesty," Yuta speaks.

His voice is laced with respect. Steady. Straightforward. Serious.

"This beautiful little thing right here is all yours," the king steps up to your cage and Yuta turns to face you alongside him, "It came straight from a regular hybrid vendor in the market. Paid a lot of money for it."

Yuta's eyebrow twitches at his words but nothing else so much as shows any emotion apart from gratitude. The use of 'it' in relation to something, someone, that was actively looking up at him with big eyes, made him feel sick.

"You're too kind," Yuta says, smiling down at the king.

"Ah don't be modest!"

The king reaches down to gather the blanket from the floor, "only the best for my top knight. According to the merchant, it can sing, hold a conversation, and doesn't need any special food, it can just eat the same thing as you and I. It's also not bad to look at."

"I... see." Yuta's eyes slide from the king to you where you blink innocently, your lashes batting your cheeks and the feathers on your neck and jaw bristling.

"And look," the king excitedly expresses as he tosses the black cloth back over your cage quickly, "if it gets annoying all you have to do is toss a blanket over and it's lights out for the birdie."

Yuta bites the tip of his tongue to stop from saying anything about the action. Rude as it may have been, he is the king. The king leans in close, almost pressing his ear to the fabric and waves Yuta to follow. Yuta bends lightly at the waist and listens. Sooner rather than later, he hears your soft breathing and a slight whistle from inside. As if you've fallen fast asleep.

Just like a bird.

He'd read a decent amount on hybrids and it made sense that you harbored a few of their instincts and qualities along with the wings and feathers.

"I'll have it moved to your house immediately," the king says as he waves a hand to the few nearby guards that instantly move, "won't you come for a drink or two?"

Though Yuta doesn't feel up for conversation or anything that he knows he'll be faced with in the great hall, he's not one to say no to his king. Yuta would much rather make everyone happy. Keeping the peace, his mother would call it.

"Just one."

True to his word, Yuta slips away from the party after one small drink and makes his way towards his house across the castle grounds. It is not huge, just enough for one man to live comfortably, a communal room, a kitchen, a bathroom, and two bedrooms up the stairs. Yuta tried to tell the king that it was truly too much when he was given it but at least now Yuta can get some use out of that second bedroom.

His body aches. Badly. He knows he shouldn't have gone to the great hall with the others. Too late now, he supposes as he approaches his front door. His ears pick up on something inside, it's muffled and hard to tell exactly what it is. His eyebrows pinch and he cracks the door open carefully.

He knows the guards were bringing you to his house. Was it possible they hadn't finished yet?

No.

It's not speaking. It's singing.

Soft, like a gentle whistle that glided through the empty space, filling Yuta's typically silent home with a sound of life. It felt so strange to return home to something so sweet and present. Yuta is no stranger to the loneliness that he resides in. But this... this is a shock to his body he wasn't expecting.

He spends a moment listening before he shakes himself from the stupor and it clicks in his head. He shuts the door quietly and enters the communal room to find your cage strung up on the ceiling and you sitting up tall as you let out your song. The blanket that once covered your cage is nowhere in sight. Had the guards removed it and taken it with them?

Oh dear, how long had you sat there trapped and alone? Is that why you sang so?

The moment you notice him standing around the corner your song cuts short with a high pitched chirp. A few seconds pass in complete silence with nothing but the two of you staring at each other. Surprisingly, you speak first.

"It's you."

It comes out hushed and Yuta can hear the slightest curve to your voice. Almost instantly after you say it your hands shoot up to cover your mouth and your eyes widen. He sees the feathers on your hands puff up and wonders just what has you so scared all of a sudden.

Maybe he can ease your anxiety. Slowly, Yuta steps closer to your cage, only a foot or so away now, and offers you a smile. A kind, caring one that you haven't experienced since you were young. It's different from the ones that passing children often showed. Those are wide, toothy, energetic and excited. This is something entirely new.

With his eyes still closed, Yuta says, "I'm so very sorry for being gone. If I had known the guards were going to leave you like this I would have come home immediately."

His voice is so much softer than when you heard him speaking to the king. It's angelic, silvery, lovely. Something you could listen to for hours if he would grant you that.

Your hands lower to rest back on your thighs and you say nothing. You aren't used to being apologized to, for anything. Every owner you've had, every person who has handled you, passed you around, paid for your songs to become theirs to wield, wasn't kind. Not like this man. This stranger who stands before you and speaks without an ounce of authority to his tone. Not controlling. Not commanding.

Friendly.

Though, you have been fooled by people before. You know not to put your trust in someone so fast. Yet it feels so much more real than those other times. Your eyebrows knit together for a second as conflicting feelings pass through your mind and, more confusingly, your heart.

His eyes flutter open and your lips part slightly at just how beautiful they look. Dark blue seas with the lights shimmering in them like stars observe you.

"I'm sure it was lonely," he says.

There's personal experience in his words.

When you don't respond, simply blinking down at him, he cocks his head slightly to the side and you watch his eyebrows twist up in concern. You let your gaze fall to his arm, tucked against his chest with a sling and wrapped in a bandage beneath his sleeve. He's been in battle recently. Is he a knight? A soldier? At first you thought maybe he was a prince with the way he was dressed and how beautiful he is. But surely he wouldn't have bowed to the king before if he was and called him 'your majesty'.

Yuta follows your eyes and lifts his arm slightly, not enough to be painful, and explains, "This? Just a little fracture. I'll be good as new in a week or so."

Again, just like before, you don't speak. The king had claimed your previous owner said you were 'able to hold a conversation' but part of Yuta was starting to wonder if that came with restrictions. Or rather, it's conditional. You'd been so quick to silence yourself before.

"Are you afraid of something? You can speak to me. It's alright," Yuta assures, ducking to try and meet your eyes but all he's met with is you casting your attention to your hands where you grip your clothing.

You always hate this part of getting a new owner. He seems genuine but you can't risk angering him. It's dangerous. Humans who see you as lesser always are.

"What's your name?"

There. Finally. One you can answer without fearing backlash.

You clear your throat and answer, voice melodic and sweet to Yuta's ears, though a bit different from your singing one. He repeats your name back to you, testing the way it feels on his tongue in a whisper. Your feathers bristle as blood rushes to your head. It sounds so... special when he says it.

One of the few things you got to keep when you were kidnapped is your name. Nobody saw it as an issue considering you had no family to go back to. It's something you cherish and somehow, though you've only just met him, it sounds like he does too. Does he offer this kind of care and respect to everyone he meets? Or is it just to get you on his side? To make you think you're in a safe place?

"My name is Yuta Okkotsu. I'm a knight of the current reigning king's guard."

He's so hard to read. Or is he maybe too easy to read? It's confusing you. Surely it can't be that simple. He can't be this open.

Yuta sees the blatant hesitance in your body language and especially on your face. Despite appearing so well cared for on the outside, clean clothing and healthy wings, you're clearly not. Only someone who has been hurt by people's words and actions would be so distrusting. What's worse, Yuta thinks, is the way you're clearly trying to not let him see it.

You're trying to keep him happy. With the way you blink and wait patiently, listening to him, not speaking unless prompted. Yuta has to force his lips to stop from slipping into a frown. He doesn't want you to mistake his concern for upset.

Yuta's head nods in the direction of your cage and then toward the room, "Would you like to come out here?"

That seems to earn him a visible reaction from you as your feather's prick up sharply and he sees your wings twitch. You look from him to the open living room then back to him with growing skepticism. You swallow thickly at the idea. You've rarely ever been willingly let out of the cage. And you know how it goes when you are.

"Oh, no I wouldn't want to burden you with that," you respond with a soft smile and a tilt of your head.

Again, you're trying to please him. Yuta flashes you this incredulous look, "Burden me?"

You're starting to get a little frustrated with whatever game it is he's playing with you. You aren't stupid. You know the rules.

"If you let me out," you start, fingertips brushing over the feathers on your forearm, "then you'll have to keep a close eye on me. To make sure I don't run."

"Why would I need to do that? You aren't a prisoner."

You hate the sincerity in his sweet voice.

"I'm a pet," your voice lowers into a grumble and you eye the floor through the golden bars, "it's the same thing."

Yuta visibly tenses at your harsh words. Despite coming from such a beautiful voice they're filled with sadness and spite he knows all too well. He's heard so many knights in battle offer the same bitter realities. He supposes he should have expected such a response.

Your heart drops into your stomach at his silence. Now you've done it. Crossed a line. It's only a matter of time now before he begins to chastise yo-

"Not here you aren't. Not with me."

Your eyes widen involuntarily and you meet his quickly. That's a first. You don't think even once you've been told such a thing. Not even with the ones that did play with you and try to trick you. It's a step slightly too far to be untrue. It's too heartfelt.

Yuta steps up to your cage and digs his good hand into his pocket where he fishes out a golden key. He reaches up towards the lock and you feel your throat tighten. Is he really about to open it?

The lock clicks and Yuta tugs on the metal bars and the door swings open until it clangs against the side of the cage. And there you sit. Right in front of the exit. Goosebumps trickle their way across your flesh as you suck in a shaky breath.

It's a game.

He's playing with you.

He has to be.

"C'mon," Yuta whispers, "it's okay."

You rise to your knees, the sound of rustling fabric filling the air, as your hands grip the metal bars for dear life and you peek over the edge of the cage floor to the hardwood of the living room only a few feet away. Your knuckles go stark white from the way you're gripping and your stomach twists into terribly nauseating knots. Yuta can feel the anxiety coming from you in waves.

If he can feel it so well he only imagines how much you must be drowning in it.

He sees your pupils dilate into pinpricks and your chest rises and falls with uneven breaths. Your wings are flapping a bit behind you. It must be a fear response.

Your name falls from Yuta's lips softly and you react with a sharp snap of your neck. He glances at the floor where you were previously focused and his lips part with a small 'ah' like he's figured out a particularly rough math problem.

He took a small step to the side and knelt down a bit stiffly. With one knee pressed firmly to the floor the other was perfectly situated between the cage and the floor.

"Don't be afraid," Yuta said, hoping you couldn't see the pain in his eyes.

His body wasn't healed enough yet and the action had sent a ripple of aching through his muscles and bones. But he ignored it and held his good hand out for you to take.

"What are you..."

"Take my hand. You can step right here," Yuta says, motioning to his thigh.

He... wants you to use it as a step. To use him.

You stare at him for a moment and think. It would be very nice to get out of the cage and stretch your legs for once. And it wasn't like you could fly away if you wanted. And no matter how hard you try to see through Yuta's act it falls flat. It's impossible to think he's planning anything when he's got such a calm expression. When all you can feel coming from him is kindness.

You can't trust him. Not yet. But you can accept the opportunity to breathe.

The cage shakes lightly as you shift your position and swing your legs out the open door.

Yuta notices in an instant that you're barefoot. He knows there's no reason for you to have shoes inside the cage but the trained knight in him knows exactly why you don't. It makes it much harder to run.

You reach your hand toward his slowly before yanking it back against your chest in a panic.

"I'll get your fancy clothes dirty," you say.

Yuta thinks that's just an excuse considering you're as clean as a whistle currently. But he offers you a small wave, "They aren't that special."

Which of course is a lie, but you don't need to know that.

Once more, you reach out. This time your hand connects with his and you startle slightly. He's so warm. And his hand is rough, with callouses from years of training, a heavy contrast to yours. Your hand fits comfortably against his and for a moment you forget what you're doing. You sidle to the edge of the cage and let your foot rest on his thigh. When you feel ready, you slip off the metal and put your weight on Yuta's leg.

Unfortunately, you didn't account for the fact that you haven't used your legs properly in a while and your knee buckles under the sudden pressure and a loud yelp, more like a squawk, escapes you as you topple toward Yuta. He stumbles to his feet and catches you. His arm wraps around your waist tightly as you crash into his chest. Your cheek presses against his chest and the sound of a heart fluttering steadily fills one ear, your racing one in the other.

You struggle to breathe for a moment as embarrassment courses through you. You brace yourself for his reaction, will he shove you away? Shout? You hate not knowing.

"Careful now," Yuta says softly, his fingers brushing your feathers gently, "I got you."

You suddenly realize how warm he is. It's not just his physical temperature, the body heat spreading from him into you, but his aura. He's holding you so gently, so careful, so respectfully.

"Can you stand?"

You shift on your feet and lean back, neck craning to look up into his eyes, a deep blue that shimmers. Your legs feel a little like jelly. If you were honest, you think trying to stand might be troublesome. But you don't want to burden him any longer by asking him to help you. You're already overstepping. So you nod and push away from him.

At first you wobble and Yuta's hand steadies you. The moment he knows you're stable, he retracts it.

You clasp your hands in front of you and drop your head, "Thank you."

His next words throw you for a loop.

"Feel free to wander around. I need to change out of these clothes but I won't be gone long."

He's going to... leave you alone? Raising your head, he sees the puzzled look on your face and chuckles lightly. Your eyes bounce around the room in curiosity but then return to his. You didn't realize how tired he looked until now.

You step until your wings meet the cool metal of your cage, it's a chain sure, but it doubles as an anchor, "You aren't worried I'll run away?"

Yuta shrugs his shoulders, "If you would like to leave then you're free to do that."

Acid builds up in your throat. You've been on the receiving end of this joke once before. Never again.

He leans close, black strands of hair falling in front of his eyes, and whispers with an almost playful lilt, "But if I were you I'd take the back door. The front door leads to the castle."

Swallowing a thick lump of saliva, you nod. You don't know what else to say. There isn't much to if you're being honest.

"I'll be back in a few minutes, okay?" Yuta says, heavy boots loud on the hardwood as he heads to leave the room.

"Yes sir."

He pauses. A strange feeling bubbles up in his chest as he looks over his shoulder at you. You're standing like a statue with your back to the cage and your eyes distant. Like you've done this before.

"Oh no, please. Yuta," he corrects with that smile that makes you feel sick. It's too... selfless.

Humans are selfish beings. That's what you've learned. So why is this one so intent on making himself seem like he's not?

"Yes, Yuta sir."

Yuta sighs out a 'good enough' before disappearing around the corner. This is years of training, of grooming, and Yuta hopes deep down that, if you decide to stay, he can help you unlearn it. You're as much of a person as he is. He won't treat you any less.

For now, he supposes, he should see if you stick around.

You do.

It surprises him little when he returns to find you standing in the same exact spot, having clearly not moved a single inch. After all, how would you convince yourself to leave when experience told you it was safer to remain?

Your first few days with Yuta are rough to say the least. He should have figured it would be.

The first morning after he set you up in his spare bedroom he woke up to find it empty, the bed as neat as he'd left it, and you tucked safely in your cage fast asleep. And when he asked about it you told him it was more comfortable.

Comfortable. On the floor of a hard metal cage with no blankets or pillows, curled in on yourself with your wings protecting you. There's security in pattern. And yours unfortunately lies behind gilded bars. It makes things... troublesome.

But not in any way that's particularly obvious. Not to someone who doesn't know how to read people the way Yuta does. He hears it in the way you speak, often quite feathery, sees it in the way you try to not take up space, feels it in the way you always agree with whatever he says.

Your lack of autonomy is worrying. But Yuta supposes a caged bird often forgets how to spread its wings. Once it realizes it's trapped, it stops trying.

You eat what he eats and you talk when he does. The only time you make any noise at all without him prompting you is when you sing. He doesn't know if you're doing it because you want to or because you think you're supposed to. Though, he won't complain when your songs are so lovely. They do help him feel more at ease than he's used to.

"I have to go into the market today. Would you like to come with me?" Yuta asks, collecting your plate alongside his.

While his is empty, yours has only been pecked at. You either have a small appetite or aren't used to being given so much. He assumes it's the latter considering the way you grow fatigued after little exertion. You're malnourished. But not enough for any typical outsider to see. It doesn't help that you have a softer figure. Anyone else would assume you're wonderfully healthy.

Yuta is not just anyone.

His question rattles around in your head for a moment. You haven't left the house once since you were brought, not even having the courage to step into the backyard for some air, but Yuta definitely notices the way you slowly shuffle toward the open window when you think he isn't looking. You watch his back as he moves to the sink.

You're beginning to think that maybe, just maybe, this man isn't what you thought he would be. That his generosity and his care isn't some kind of act. If it was, he was very committed. He has been nothing but kind to you so far. He makes you food anytime he eats even if you aren't hungry. He always asks if you need anything before he goes out or to bed. He never crowds you. He even let you bathe yourself alone.

And now, he's not rushing you for an answer as he cleans the dishes you two just used. He's standing there, ear trained on you, but he's focusing on something else entirely. He's giving you space. Offering you patience. And privacy.

You aren't used to it.

It might be nice, you think, to go with him. Scary, but nice.

"Are you sure?"

A gust of wind comes through the open window and rustles his hair when he looks over his shoulder. He looks so relaxed. He must be happy to finally have someone else to spend time with in his home. It seems even as sweet and handsome as Yuta is, he's not free from loneliness.

You're waiting for the moment the other shoe drops. For him to tell you that it's his chance to show you off or something like that. Most of your past owners liked that part. Although more often than not it was from the confines of your cage that you became an attraction.

But once again, this man, Yuta Okkotsu, the cherished knight of the kingdom, proves you wrong and sows seeds of doubt in your mind.

"It's alright if you don't want to. I was just thinking it might be a good idea so we can get you some new clothes."

Your wings rustle and though he sees, he pretends not to. He said 'we'. He's including you as a part of the decision making process. He's not choosing for you. The word alone ignites a pesky flame in your heart that spreads throughout your body.

You look down at your outfit. It's the same one you've had since the king bought you. You've only ever really worn whatever your owners have given you. Occasionally, they like to use you as a doll and you've had a wide array of clothing in your life. But your most recent one, the market vendor, preferred the single matching set. Yuta had tried to offer you some of his own clothing but unfortunately they didn't fit very well. Especially with your wings.

"Do you... not like it?" you ask, pinching the fabric between your fingers and lifting it lightly.

Yuta spins around quickly, his hands, wet and soapy, raised in defense, "Oh no. No, that's not it at all. I just figured you may like a few more options to choose from."

His speed is enough to make you tense up. You hope he can't see it.

"If that's what you want," you say.

Yuta's soft smile lowers and he begins to dry his hands on a nearby dish towel, "Is that what you want?"

'What you want'. When have you ever gotten something you want? As a child maybe, with your mother, before those men kidnapped and sold you. You haven't felt want for a long time. Since you realized those wants mean nothing and they were unobtainable you've pushed any thoughts of desire away.

But now he's giving you that option.

It would be nice. The fresh air and the walk. The experience.

"Okay," you say, "If you're sure."

The next thing you know, you're standing at the front of the market entrance. There's a basket in your hand and one of Yuta's cloaks over you, covering your wings, and Yuta stands beside you with a bag over his shoulder. The market is a bit busier than he expected. He was hoping to bring you at a time when there weren't many people. But now that you're here you may as well finish what you came for.

Your feet are cold against the cobblestone street. Yuta had promised to buy you some shoes along with new clothes. You don't quite mind the feeling. It puts you closer to nature. But they might be good for moments like this.

"I'm sorry there's lots of people. If it gets to be too much we can leave okay?" Yuta tells you in a hushed tone.

You simply nod. It's already a bit overwhelming and you haven't even started shopping but you aren't going to tell him that. It might upset him. Though, you're starting to think nothing you can do will piss him off. You don't want to test that theory.

Yuta leads the way towards a section of stalls with food first. Other than your clothing, food is the main reason Yuta wanted to make the trip. He wasn't prepared to start feeding a second mouth so it only took a few days to run low. He stops beside one with fresh produce and leans close to you.

"You should pick something for yourself. Get something you like," he suggests.

"I'm fine with whatever you get," you respond.

Yuta sighs and turns to face you, not just his head, his whole body. You prepare yourself to be scolded.

"Something you like," Yuta says, "what do you enjoy eating?"

He's not being mean or overwhelming. He's simply being persistent. You can recognize the difference. The line is drawn where his eyes meet yours.

You glance between the fruits and vegetables laid out along the table and try to think. It isn't often you're given the chance to even look upon so much food. There's so many options in front of you in all the colors of the rainbow and they're all beautifully ripe. You salivate simply by looking.

Yuta is watching you patiently, occasionally letting his gaze follow yours over the food. You seem particularly drawn in by the fruits. But he keeps his lips zipped. He wants you to take that first step. You have yet to ask anything of him.

Given the opportunity, you'll do so. He's sure of it.

"I like..." you trail off into silence as your eyes stop on some particularly juicy looking blackberries.

The edge of Yuta's lip twitches up.

This is stressing you out. Why couldn't he just choose? You would happily eat whatever he bought. It wasn't right of you to be selfish and request anything. He may not treat you like a pet but that's technically still what you are and you know it.

But you feel the invisible chains tightening only by your own hand now.

He isn't even holding them. Has he ever been? Or is it just you?

"I like berries."

Yuta breaks into a wide grin without any attempt to hide it.

"Berries. Got it," he says, and before you know what's happening he's conversing with the vendor.

You try not to stare but you know you must be giving him the strangest look ever by the way he side eyes you. He doesn't acknowledge it. He just keeps doing what he's doing.

What the hell is this guy's problem? You can't handle the mental gymnastics he's making you do.

Is he making you do them?

Damnit. You're so confused.

Currency is exchanged and Yuta faces you with a handful of berries wrapped in a cloth and string. He sits it down gently in the basket he asked you to carry.

Without your usual restraint, you ask, "Is that enough for the both of us?"

It doesn't look like it.

A soft chuckle leaves Yuta's lips and your stomach twists. It's not sinister in any way but... your body doesn't understand how else to interpret it. Accepting that he doesn't have any ulterior motives would be enough to make you sick. To send you into a spiral.

It's not possible. That's what you continue to tell yourse-

"It's enough for you."

You wonder if it's actually possible for every sound around you to have vanished in an instant.

It's for you?

Just you?

"Thank you."

That's all you can say. With your throat dry and your thoughts racing you at least offer him gratitude. You stare down into the basket. Something just for you sits there alone. Not something you're expected to tolerate but something you wanted.

Your heart swells and suddenly you're a child again. Your lips slip into a soft smile. One that nearly leaves Yuta winded. Before, they were mostly a farce. Something to convince him you were happy. To make sure he wouldn't want you gone. But this is real. This is the moon appearing in a night sky that's been nothing but black and dreary. A small break in the clouds that shows him more.

Eventually, you two depart from the strip of food stalls. Not before your basket has been filled with plenty of food for you and Yuta both to last a week or so. The market has become a bit busier which leaves you sticking closer to Yuta's side than before. More people mingle about in the square making it a bit stressful to move between areas and for a moment you two are stuck waiting for a group to disperse.

You watch the back of Yuta's head as it swivels this way and that. He must be trying to decide just where to go next. It would probably be so much easier if you'd stayed at the house. Then he wouldn't have to watch you. And it was clear he was trying to take the paths that had the smallest amount of people.

He was going out of his way for you.

And rather than hurting your head like it usually would, it goes to your chest. A dull ache.

A sudden burst of laughter from some children catches your attention and you turn to see what's happening. Within an instant, you wish you hadn't. Your blood turns to ice, your breath stolen, your breakfast from only hours ago rising up your throat and you snap your jaw shut almost painfully to swallow it back down.

A group of children and adults alike are gathered around a stall.

A familiar stall.

With the voice of a man all too recognizable to you.

You're frozen in place. Your legs unable to move, your voice unable to work, it's him. The chain that wraps itself around your heart, that coils around your body and poisons your soul yanks itself taut.

Fear riddles you as nothing but a flightless bird. What use are the wings that are strapped to your back by a mere presence?

Let go.

You want to be let go.

And there's only one thing that ever snapped those chains clean in two.

Your hand shoots forward before you can stop yourself and you grip Yuta's shirt. Stumbling forward in your panic, you stop a mere inch or two from your face pressing into his back.

Safety.

Security.

Warmth.

At first, Yuta doesn't realize it's you holding him. You're wary of him and that means it seemed unlikely you would make such a bold move. He pauses mid step and lets out a confused sound. Twisting his neck to glance over his shoulder he's met with a sight that sets off his instincts.

There's an expression etched into your face that's all too familiar to a knight like him. He's seen it time and time again. Trauma. Paralyzing terror. You're trembling so violently he can't just see it but feel it. Your pupils are nothing but pinpricks in your iris. You're barely even breathing.

What on Earth could have you this terrified?

Yuta speaks, "Hey, woah, what's wrong?"

It's innocent. He has no idea of the monster not far away from him.

You don't speak. Not that he thought you would. You just continue to shake. You're staring directly into his back so there's no way for him to tell just where the thing you deem such a threat is.

Until he hears a voice. Loud. Arrogant. Scummy. And he turns his whole body to face you while seeking it out. Not far away he sees the stall. Large and surrounded by people. And at the forefront of this makeshift stage is a cage with...

A hybrid in it.

A man stands to the side of it with a big smile as his voice entices more and more people to join. Yuta doesn't need to hear what he's saying to know. He can put two and two together. The man continues his speech but it fades to nothing in the back of Yuta's head while he focuses on you.

Your name falls from his lips once, twice, it's not until the third time that you react at all. He watches your eyes snap to his. You look like you're about to break. A wounded robin trapped in a storm with no saving grace to protect them.

But you aren't alone. Not with him there.

Yuta lifts his hand, slowly to not startle you, and speaks softly as you feels around for the hood of the cloak you're wearing, "why don't we head that way," he juts his head to the side of the market opposite of boastful man who is making it hard for you to even listen.

His fingers brush your neck and the trembling increases as a small chirp filled with fear leaves you. It's a cry. He can feel your pulse in that split second and it's racing. Yuta makes quick work of gripping the edge of the hood.

"That's where we can get you some new clothes," he whispers, tugging the fabric up, gently working it over your hair, until it sits pretty on your head. Instantly he pulls his hand away for your comfort.

You're hidden now. And he hopes that you can see that, that his actions may click in your head.

They do.

It's as if a shield has been lowered over you. You're not visible now. He can't see you.

Nobody but Yuta can. Nobody but Yuta has.

Still, it doesn't settle you all that much. Your eyes slip to the side and your head begins to turn to make sure he's not walking toward you. What if he saw you before Yuta put your hood up? What if he came back? What if he took you back to that stall? What if-

Yuta presses his fingers flat together and blocks your line of sight. A barricade. Keeping you on the safe side. With him.

"There's nothing over there for us," he says, his heart jumping as he hopes he can deter you, "okay?"

Your brain is running a mile a minute. You don't understand how he's doing it. Can't comprehend how this man knows what you need. All your life you've craved nothing more than to have someone see you, your pain, your fear. You've resolved yourself to never expecting to be given that. And yet here, now, that someone is standing in front of you.

Looking at Yuta, you finally release your tense jaw and he watches in real time as your pupils dilate back to a regular size. Everything goes quiet. You take in his face, his expression, the care aimed directly at you. The sun shimmers along his skin, his hair rustles in the breeze, his eyes feel like safety.

He's beautiful. Inside and out. Nothing but goodness oozes from him. It's in the words he says, in the glances he offers. He screams it. And you wonder if it's okay to let your guard down just a little if it means getting to feel that genuine heart.

Slowly, you turn your body until your back is to the stall, and Yuta lets his arm drop back to his side. He watches you shrink into the hood. He's glad he thought to have you wear it.

Yuta reaches out and, as gently as he can, takes your hand in his. He allows his thumb to brush over the feathers on the back of it. He soothes them down. You jump at the contact but don't say anything. But he feels it. The way your hand squeezes his just that tiny bit to tell him you need it. It's grounding to you.

An anchor.

Not a chain.

"I've got you," Yuta whispers against the side of the hood as he begins to walk.

You keep a hold of his hand. And you walk with him.

Your wings aren't nearly as neat as they appeared when you were in your cage. Yuta picks up on that very fast. He spends time observing every part of you and that includes the feathers, unkempt and damaged that are hidden beneath the fluffed up ones meant to make you look appealing. And the edges are clipped. Clearly a precaution to make sure you won't fly away.

He doesn't ask about it at first. He assumes if you want to tell him then you will. He catches you a few different times stretching them out and picking at them as best you can, shimmying your wings as a few stray feathers fall off.

He makes a trip to the market alone and does well to hide his purchase from you when he returns home.

It's nearly a month into you living with Yuta that he says anything about them.

It's late and you're seated outside in his garden, your back to the door, your wings flapping wildly as he hears a small whimper coming from you. The messy feathers aren't moving like you're hoping they will. Yuta knows what you're trying to do.

"I can help you."

You let out a startled squawk and your head spins around to look at him as he slips through the doorway.

"Your wings. They're bothering you aren't they?"

Ever since the trip to the market you've grown to trust Yuta just slightly. You're still hesitant, and wary, and he doesn't blame you for that. But you still refuse to talk to him about your own troubles even though he can see them clear as day on your face. Which is why you shake your head and say with a feigned smile, "Oh, I'm fine Yuta."

He crosses his arms, having been recently freed of his sling, and breathes your name out in that way that makes you remember exactly who you're talking to. Someone who cares. Someone who sees. You turn back to stare at the ground in front of you and Yuta sighs lightly as he plants himself on the concrete beside you.

"I've noticed some of your feathers are out of place. It's been like that for a while hasn't it?" he asks.

You play with the hem of your new shirt and nod. There's no reason to lie to him. And if he's asking then it's not like you're burdening him by answering. He picks up a stray grey feather from the ground, giving you plenty of open space to speak if you want. He's always like that.

Your voice is low when you do, "I can't reach them all myself."

"And your owners never helped you before?"

He knows the answer before you even shake your head. You've opened up to him, just a bit, about how you've been treated in the past. It sickens him to know just how little you were cared for. How not one of them ever truly seemed to look at you as anything more than a pet that looked pretty and sang well.

Suddenly, one of your wings flaps violently and your eyebrows knit together in frustration. Mild discomfort is easily read across your face.

"What can I do?" Yuta asks.

"Oh. No, it's alright. I can handle it," you respond quickly.

Yuta cocks his head to the side, using his sweet smile to his advantage, "just tell me what to do. I'd like to."

If he had asked you something like this when you first met you wouldn't have let him anywhere near your wings. But now, that seed of doubt that was once planted in your brain has grown to overtake your aversion to him. He's not a bad man.

It's how you end up with him seated behind you, his legs crossed, and your wings spread out along his thighs. He's observing the feathers from a distance, waiting for you to give him the go ahead to touch them. Unfortunately, the book he'd bought from the market only covered regular birds and not hybrids but it seems your feathers work the same as theirs. He can already see some keratin coated ones that need to be set free.

You're tense in front of him. Breathing in and out shakily enough for him to feel it through your wings.

"Yuta?" you ask.

He watches your head drop and says, "yeah?"

"I don't... actually know what you're supposed to do."

That would make sense. If you've not been properly cared for in years how would you know what he needs to do to help? He can hear the embarrassment in your voice. And see the flush creeping up your neck to the tips of your ears. He can't know exactly what you're feeling but he knows it must not be nice.

And it's not.

You feel ridiculous. How could you not know? Here he is offering to come to your aid and you can't even direct him. You're wasting his time. And abusing his kindness.

You feel pathetic.

Useless.

Like you can't do anything. You don't even know how to take care of yourself. He must think so little of you. Your heart twists and a burning hate builds in your stomach. Your wings itch so bad and you can't think straight.

"That's alright. I think I see the problem," Yuta's voice cuts your self deprecation in two, "if you want me to try."

The feathers on your neck puff up and Yuta smirks. He's come to notice that your feathers are a wonderful way to see the emotions you try to hide. Sometimes it's fear but other times, like now, it's from being flustered. He likes when your feathers react to that one.

"Okay."

It's all you say. That's all you can say really. Because he's being so kind. He's not mad. He's not giving up on you. He's offering you so much.

Yuta's hands move slowly toward your wings. His fingertips brush over a few feathers and you have a knee jerk reaction. You spring forward, curling in on yourself and yanking your wings out of his hold, eyes clenching shut painfully, and shout, "P-please be gentle!"

It's the first time Yuta's ever heard your voice rise to such a volume.

You sound... scared.

His heart clenches. For a beat or two there's nothing but silence. He monitors your position. You're shaking.

"I will," he says, "I promise."

When you don't move to sit back up he sighs. He can be patient. He'll wait as long as it takes for you to settle yourself.

You spend a minute folded down as your thoughts race. And the fact that Yuta doesn't push or rush you makes something inside your body buzz.

"If you want, we can try again later-"

"No," you cut him off, "No I..."

You find yourself rising to sit up again and let your wings flop down onto his thighs unceremoniously. A blush creeps over your cheeks and you're happy that he can't see it. You clench your fists in your lap until your knuckles go white. The next words you say are hard to get out.

They're true. But it's like you're trying to breach through water.

"I would like it. Your help, I mean."

Yuta's chest fills with so much pride at your words that he visibly swells. Ever since you came to live with him you've stopped yourself from ever asking for his help. If you couldn't figure something out alone then you often gave up. Afraid of wasting his time.

None of his time with you is wasted. And Yuta tries his best to make sure you know that.

"We'll figure it out together, okay?" Yuta suggests.

You nod, "Okay."

Together. Yuta always says things like that. He includes you. He makes you a part of the plan, a part of the decisions, he puts you in a position where you take up space. Where you exist as more than what you ever could have thought you were.

The gentle caress of the moonlight along your feathers reminds Yuta of their fragility. So he's even more careful when he makes his second attempt. You flinch once but remain sitting up this time. His fingers pick at a keratin coated feather and he squeezes enough to break the seal but not much more than that. He rubs the feather between his fingers until it's free and lays it out the direction it's meant to go.

You let out a soft sigh, one that he thinks you meant to hide given the way your hand slaps over your mouth directly after. He continues to search through your wings for more feathers and repeats the process. Slowly, you let your hand fall back into your lap, and your shoulders sag with small bird-like chirps of relief leaving you.

It feels so nice. Not only to finally have that terrible itch scratched but to have it be Yuta's hands. The one person who has ever earned the right to touch your wings is caressing them like they're the most expensive glass in the world.

He's treating you like that.

Like all the little fragile parts of your soul deserve to be cradled.

After a while, you feel his hands still.

You've never felt so calm in your life.

His hands leave your wings as he wipes them on his pants and says, "All done."

You flutter your wings a bit before tucking them in and twisting to look at him. The moon catches his eyes perfectly and you forget what you were going to say. Yuta's smile steals your breath and his hand rises to brush at a spare strand of your hair. You don't flinch. You don't pull away. Not even when his skin touches yours.

He admires the way you look. The relaxation in your expression is enough to make him feel like he's done a good job. He tucks the hair back out of your face.

"Feel better?"

Your lips part with a soft breath, "Much. Thank you."

There's tension between the two of you. But not in the way you're used to. It comes in the form of a string attached to your chest rather than a suffocating rope, strangling you to keep you in place. You aren't afraid of it.

Yuta cups your face in his palm, his fingers threaded in your hair and scratching at your scalp. Your heart thumps loudly in your chest. You wonder if he can hear it. He leans forward, so close that you can feel his breath, and mumbles something.

"You're beautiful."

For a moment, you don't breathe.

You've been told that before. But never, ever, has it felt so heartfelt. Never has it struck a chord in your chest so violently that you feel pressure. Your head goes fuzzy as you think about Yuta.

He's kind. He's gentle. He's only ever looked at you as a person. Your name has meaning with him. Your words mean something to him.

You are worth something. And not in a monetary sense. Not in the way you were worth the expense or the hassle to other people. Not in the way hunters traded you around, not in the way rich men stole your voice, not in the way people paid for your existence to be allowed.

But in the way that your heart beats all the same as his.

Yuta moves slowly to press his lips against the space between your eyebrows. He pulls back to look into your eyes as they gloss over. Something in your body snaps. Maybe it's your heart, maybe it's your brain, or maybe it's that final link of a chain that's been worn away by the sun and its rays. Your body fills with an emotion long locked away.

A soft cry slips between your parted lips before you surge forward and plant your head safely against his body. Your arms wrap around his waist, your wings surround the both of you. And tears wet his shirt. You press into him as much as you can like you'll somehow manage to merge yourself with him if you try hard enough. His arms encase you.

"Shh, I'm not going anywhere."

You cry into him like a child. Weeping as your heart places itself fully on display. You've never had anything to call yours. Not since before you became a pet. But since your life was completely flipped around by this knight it's like you've realized that the one thing you kept locked away is all yours.

Suddenly, you're a small robin trembling in Yuta's hands just the same as when he was a child. He kisses the top of your hair and mumbles your name with all the love he has in his body.

Yuta is warm.

He's always been warm.

Warm. And safe.

And home.

#this is so beautifully written #yuuta is so gentle throughout this fic #his personality is so well portrayed... you write him so well op #❥ yuuta mi neurótico <3

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