#bot culture

[all-all0s-eyes]

niche humor

I persist in pretending that cultural archives sufficiently deep might still carry the significance of this joke forward in time to the feed of a deep space research vessel who would and could appreciate it. Yet it must do so alone, because no one else it could tell would get it.

Artificial intelligence makes accurate sheep counting.

[oldtvandcomics]

The asexual community should make the ongoing Bot Hunt into some kind of viral event. I want to look back on years later with fond nostalgia at the Great Asexuals vs Bots War Of 2024.

[confession-session]

is the haiku bot an actual bot?? Or is that Just Some Guy?? help

[lets-try-some-writing]

i love it when people apply the whole “humans are space orcs” idea to transformer humans.

jack, miko and raf just doing regular, average day things that make the bots both extremely worried and unsettled gives me so much brainrot.

I got you here. I love this kind of lore/reaction ask.

Each of the children have a particular habit that bothers the team more than anything else. Can it be explained? Not really. All humans do the things they do. But for the bots, it is strange and out of sorts all the same.

Miko always carries around a bottle of sparkling water. She adores the stuff. The team, despite knowing it is not what the name implies, are still horrified with her drinking habits. Not to mention, they can't help but wonder where all the liquid goes. She drinks up to three whole bottles of water a day. In her own words "Hydrate or die." That in it of itself is concerning since the team, while well aware that humans need water, do not know how much they need exactly. The team are down right terrified of her ability to down water like a dry sponge. How can such a small fleshy even consume that much? They aren't entirely sure. Not only that, but if she drinks that much, then are Jack and Rafael getting enough? They can't be.

Not only does Miko down water like a bone dry houseplant, she also drinks just about anything else too. The team have seen her chug sodas which contain Primus knows how many strange chemicals and compounds. They've observed her willingly drink things that no other would on bets, including food that has been blended and watered down just because Jack wanted to see if it was possible for her to down hotdog cafeteria milk cheeto apple slurry.

Yes the team are terrified of humans and their ability to put anything inside themselves and walk it off. But more than any other, they fear Miko. Who knows what she's consumed.

All the kids do it, but Jack is the most notable since when he needs to go to the restroom, he makes it loud and clear mainly so that someone knows to keep an eye on Miko. The team are aware that organics have a need to manually handle removing waste since their systems are rather inefficient, however there is a certain level of mysteriousness surrounding the restrooms. The bots don't want to watch or even know HOW the humans get rid of waste, but they do know that THINGS happen in the restroom that seem to either be painful, emotional, refreshing, or aggravating. No one can really be sure what reaction will follow those who enter the space. Sometimes Jack or one of the other kids will go in there seemingly to just be alone.

It is a strange and almost sacred location where strange happenings occur. Miko went in once with bloody clothes and emerged with a fresh set before Ratchet could figure out what was wrong in the first place. Jack went in once and came out an hour later looking like he'd gone to war after he convinced Arcee to let him stop and get takeout the night before. Rafael took his charger and computer in there and hogged the space for a while to get away from the others once. The team does not know what happens in there, but it is mildly concerning since it either repairs or breaks a person.

Bulkhead theorizes that its a pocket dimension like the shadow zone. Ratchet refuses to think about it. Optimus will say nothing about whatever he knows. Arcee and Bee assume its a safe haven or sorts and Wheeljack is almost certain they keep weapons in there. Ultra Magnus and Smokescreen both agree that the restroom is simply a quiet space where a human can deal with personal issues in peace.

No bot is willing to try and confirm anything since humans flip out at any attempts to view the supposedly sacred ground.

Rafael is generally pretty good about flying under the radar most of the time, but he has a habit that has caught the team's attention. Humans have been noted doing what they can to clean themselves on their own. Its rather ineffective to clean one's own venting openings with digits considering the sheer amount of germs involved, but it is not out of the question to do so when a cleaning cloth is not available. Rafael occasionally and quietly trying to clean his nose is not what bothers the team.

No what horrifies them is the goop that he pulls out after his attempt at cleaning. What Ratchet has studied states that the goop is referred to by a number names, but is commonly called snot. Its the natural germ catcher humans have, but it still unsettles the team whenever Rafael quietly blows a few or when one of the others grabs a tissue and makes a rather disgusting sound as they try to clear their airways.

The goop reminds the team of any number of horrible things. But the sheer amount of GROSS within a small amount of the stuff has left the team all gagging whenever they find the stuff around base. Rafael is usually good about being clean, but sometimes he gets lazy and will use his chair to hide his cleaning attempts. Bumblebee has almost purged a few times seeing the marks on the chair from where Rafael may or may not have wiped his fingers.

Is he twelve? Yes. Is he fully mature? No. That much is evident just by looking at his chair.

[crabsnpersimmons]

Your art style nearly gave me a heart attack damn! Mostly cause of eclipse lol.

She thinks he’s hot -Raven

Hey!

ough thank you! tho i still feel the need to apologize for Eclipse's actions 😅

...

i'll put him in timeout

[weirdlookingsnakewithlegs]

I saw the post about the seeker runway walk and the aerialbots mention at the end, you think the Seekers would be appalled to learn that the aerialbots know NOTHING about seeker culture?

'Has no one told you how to properly clean your wings?'

' ... No?'

*le gasp*

This is exactly what I’m talking about, it definitely doesn’t help that the aerials(INCLUDING Pharma) probably have never even seen a seeker outside of war or slavery because before the war they tended to stay in Vos and any seekers outside were basically just arm candy or servents which all likely looked a bit drab due to the neglectful situations. In regards, they probably believe rust on wing hinges is nearly impossible to take care of so I imagine if any seeker were to ever be captured BY an aerial bot they would simply be appalled.

If not for the lack of basic care then just for the sheer lack of companionship between them. Like yeah the aerial bots are friends and teammates but they’re not trine, they don’t have the bond, the sense, the connection, it explains why they can be so sloppy.

I’m telling you right now if it were Skywarp, Slipstream, or even Dirge they would definitely be making some faces at those wing hinges and inner wings.

And not to mention aerials bots would probably be comfortable with people outside their inner circle touching their wings because they don’t have the extreme sensory mapping like seeker wings do and it would terrify every seeker. What do you mean you’re comfortable with people touching them? That’s disgusting. If Starscream were to ever be in vicinity, a lot of very choice words would probably be said.

However, the aerial bot team are all considered pretty young, I wouldn’t doubt that if the war were to end they could be taught by a trow or a trunder(it’d be hilarious if the trunder was Dreadwing and Skyquake, just the two very large older brothers and their small miscreants) as trines are typically pretty closed off to helping other trows/trunders they don’t have an established relationship with.

Bonus, aerial bots are probably the uncanny valley for seekers. Add that onto the fact that the aerial bots probably wouldn’t be able to follow the Vosian language considering their voice box and system sounds can’t match the seekers.

[weldingmetal]

Organicfacer

So we call ourselves monsterfucker and robotfucker and what not but how would this happen if transformers were real?

So I wrote this little blurb. This could be for any continuity I think. Send me requests and I’ll see what I can do. Also tell me if ya want to be tagged.

this was inspired by @robot-horde

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So the Cybertronian and human relations were going as well as they could.

Although there were some protests from humans and a few problems here and there everything went as well as it could. It was recently released that Cybertronians could freely explore earth and whatnot if they did not cause destruction…however there was something the government failed to mention and the bots under all circumstances didn’t expect.

Humans will try to fuck anything that they can.

This led to very…. Interesting revelations. No one knows exactly the bot and human that started everything although many have their money on Hot Rod.

Whoever it was it happened like this. A lonely human sick of their species decided to take a chance and a bots curiosity was burning bright which led to the human confirming that they were a robot fucker and the bot realizing that he could probably never fully go back to hard metal digits.

Thus the term “Organicfragger/organicfacer” was coined on one of the many Cybertronian group chats.

Apparently with the widespread public discovery that the two species genitalia was compatible came many expected and unexpected events.

A human/bot relationship flag

Sites dedicated to Human/bot erotica

Cheesy inaccurate romance novels by Cybertronian and humans alike

Facebooks moms complaining only to do a 180 and always be looking for a bot s/o

Men being mad that femme bots don’t want them.

Memes

TV shows

Cybertronians and humans who only date each other for clout.

The car washing businesses skyrocketing.

So in other words it would be nothing short of sexy chaos

[witchofthesouls]

I'm surprised there wasn't a language barrier between Cybertron and the Lost Colonies! I mean, there should have been some differences or a linguistic drift, especially since the Titans left Cybertron before the Quintesson occupation and the rise of Functionism?

Like, what if the Lost Colonies were time capsules of extinct or dead Cybertronian languages? As in modern Neocybex of Cybertron was their version of modern English? Sure, each region has its own dialect, but it's all English...

And then, Windblade and Chromia rocks up to the planet, and they're straight up speaking Latin/Ancient Greek.

The closest Cybertron equivalent to said living time capsules are Primal Vernacular speakers, and those are ridiculously few in the factions, and that's not even a straight shot because of the regional influences that happened.

I think we need a fic where there's a Giant Big Bad that united everyone to the point that the Council of Worlds was started far earlier, but now it's Decepticon Justice Division being interpretors since Vos is the only fluent Primal Vernacular speaker and the other D.J.D. members are stuck in the new role playing charades with the Colonists' delegates because they figured out how to parse out a few phrases.

Their translation work isn't as shoddy or inaccurate as expected, much to everyone else's worries considering what's being said...

[frosty-tian]

⚠️Mech-preg thoughts:

Suddenly realized, isn’t it possible that despite being pregnant, Cybertronians simply continue to do heavy labour? There have been multiple instances where they are shown to have far more endurance compared to humans (able to withstand pressure in deeper sea depths, huge impact from large debris, etc.) and in the wild, it’s not like animals necessarily take days off (albeit not do strenuous activities such as hunting in the late stages).

And if we’re to incorporate the caste system Cybertron used to operate under, there’s a high chance those who are assigned to extreme manual labour will simply continue their daily routine regardless of pregnancy (unless of course, in the late/near-end stages).

To give context to the doodles, despite being shrunken down, Boulder still insists on doing work, since it’s the norm back on Cybertron.

Graham’s own protective instincts kick in and nags Boulder every time he catches him doing laborious tasks instead of resting.

Long story short, devolved into a back and forth mainly of snapping “don’t push what you consider to be the norm onto me when I’ve told you multiple times” (the fact he’s moody due to hormones and some fatigue doesn’t help) and “I’m just looking out for you, I don’t want something to happen to both you and our child due to it being a hybrid”.

(I think there’s also the possibility of Graham feeling extra anxious due to the trauma of losing his Mom to childbirth, despite him not admitting/being conscious about it.)

[thepastisalreadywritten]

The most powerful moment of the coronation of King Charles III was not the gold glittering off carriages or epaulettes — not the pomp and show and signifiers of power.

It was precisely their opposite: when Charles shed his gold robes and stood in a thin white shirt, his frail humanity implied.

Then a screen was erected around him and, shielded, he had a private consultation with the Archbishop of Canterbury, who dabbed anointing oil with his hands on Charles’s bare breast.

"This was the most solemn and personal of moments,” Buckingham Palace said.

Charles was bare before God, in privacy, God being one of the last beings with no need to sign a non-disclosure agreement.

The Princess of Wales looked on as the screen shielded her father-in-law.

By contrast, she was at that point the most magnificent she had ever been, swathed in layer upon layer of regality, the dress, the robes, the hanging chains, headpiece and ribbons all serving to move the viewing gaze — subjects in every sense — from our awareness of Catherine Middleton with her everyday human DNA and towards the shared fiction of her transcendent queenliness.

Less than a year later, this moment is remembered with new and terrible power.

It is spring again, but it’s a time of hard Lenten moral reflection for us as a nation, in relationship to our royals, as well as an ever more voraciously unprivate modern celebrity culture.

Both the King and the princess have cancer, the latter’s disclosed by Catherine in an unprecedented video address on Friday, March 22.

Catherine’s speech was something of a plea bargain in which she traded not only her customary silence but her most personal of health ordeals in order to put an end to toxic rumours swirling online that had become in tone like an unruly mob rattling at the palace gates.

Or rattling at the figurative locks on her medical notes, with three workers at the London Clinic, where she and the King were treated, suspended and under investigation for allegedly trying to access her records (hers, it is important to note, the King’s were unmolested).

📷: Getty Images

What was so powerful about the anointing of the King was the sacredness of that space in which he could be fully human away from observation and judgment.

There should be another one-on-one consultation that is sacred, where anyone, from King to princess to pauper, can expect to be shriven in total privacy, and that is the sanctity of the medical room.

It used to be that priests were our only bound confidants, we could trust them to be privy to all our spiritual ills.

Now doctors are our secular priests: bound by law and ethics to enshrine confidentiality at the heart of the patient relationship.

As a result, our medical privacy in an age of oversharing and online surveillance feels both stranger and more necessary.

If we knew our every GP-inspected rash was to be posted on TikTok for the nation, many of us would quite literally die of embarrassment.

The King’s appointment behind the three-sided screen can now be viewed through the lens of royal illness.

The lavishly embroidered panels and expensive white shirt now replaced by the flimsy three-sided ward screen on wheels and thin hospital gown that can humble us all.

But it also enacts a principle at the very heart of becoming the monarch.

The medical-like screen is erected in the coronation to tell us there are some places the public cannot go; to tell us that there are sacredly personal moments in which a person, any person, however swathed in our projections of power, needs to be nakedly human.

Otherwise, they will go mad. We need to make sure the screens are erected around Catherine now.

Much is said, quite a lot of it by Prince Harry himself, of the dangers of the wives of the princes repeating the tragic history of their mother, Princess Diana, hunted by photographers.

He remains phobic to any hint of tabloid persecution or paparazzi chase. But this is a sideshow, even an anachronism in 2024.

He and others have not recognised how the “chase” has changed. Who needs paparazzi when there are a billion citizen hacks ready to take pictures with their phones, in case a convalescing woman nips to a Windsor farm shop with her husband?

Instead, the appetite now is not to see but to know.

The royals used to have a contract with the public: we pay for them, and in return, they give us their presence.

Nearly all of their official job is to do with surface: to show up, to put in appearances at a set number of functions, whether at the opening of parliament or the opening of a leisure centre.

But now parts of the online mob seem to be staging a coup. We want more than the surface, we want to puncture the skin barrier of the royal family and occupy from the inside.

The “fans” have become an invasive virus. The royal analogy is often that they are trapped in a gilded zoo. This new model, instead, casts the royals more as lab rats.

When Catherine disappeared from view in January after announcing a “planned abdominal operation,” the response from internet truthers was one of irate entitlement.

They are now the 1980s tabloids: ravening for intimacies and making stuff up when thwarted.

This wasn’t the boomer generation, who are both more respectful of the royals and more private about their own health.

It was the fortysomething mothers frustrated when they can’t track the phone location of everyone in their life; or the twentysomethings on Snap Map.

Both desperate for their personalised new Netflix season of “The Royals” to drop.

Catherine presents with such stoicism and dignity, it is easy to forget where this new invasiveness started: when she was pregnant with Prince George in December 2012 and hospitalised for extreme morning sickness.

While she was sleeping on the ward, a radio station in Australia rang the hospital switchboard pretending to be the Queen.

They broadcast the nurse’s comments about Catherine’s “retching.”

One could only find this prank funny if Catherine had already — a young, wretchedly ill, pregnant woman — been dehumanised.

George is now ten and his mother hospitalised again, and in that decade, the physical security of ill royals may have tightened but their claim to bodily autonomy seems to have weakened.

Some say Kensington Palace “brought it on themselves” by their wish for discretion; this claim is duplicitous.

The late Queen Elizabeth II became increasingly debilitated in her final years with not much detail ever given; just as her father, King George VI, died without disclosing his lung cancer.

I’m glad that the British do not subject their heads of state to the same publicised medical reports as the president of the United States; one shouldn’t have to present a stool swab to sit on the throne.

No, instead the apparent justification of all those clicking and posting conspiracy theories “worried for Catherine’s welfare” was this sinful truth.

As a beautiful, 42-year-old mother of three, her drama was more box office than the ailments of those older, a pound of her flesh was worth more.

Pity, Susan Sontag said in her 1978 book Illness as Metaphor, is close to contempt.

Back then cancer was still taboo. Those around the patient, Sontag says, “express pity but also convey contempt.”

Ask any cancer patient and they will say they don’t want pity: it is too isolating, it sets them apart, an unwanted privilege.

This is why the video plea of Catherine was one of affinity, rather than pity or privilege.

Last year, she sat in robes in Westminster Abbey at the coronation of her father-in-law, next to her future king son and future king husband.

In her video address last week, she sat on a classically English garden bench, pale, alone and in jeans, as bare of pomp as any royal can be.

No mention of kings or titles, just Diana’s ring on her hand.

Rather she gave an appeal, parent to parent, human to human, about her “huge shock” and her care for her “young family.”

And, finally, her kinship with anyone who lives in a vulnerable human body susceptible to a democratic illness like cancer, “you are not alone.”

Or, to paraphrase Richard Curtis:

“I’m just a girl, standing in front of a public, asking for some time to endure gruelling chemotherapy."

NOTE: Additional photos have been included in this article.

[oldeubagel]

Decided to recolor various random lgbt flags with tfrb characters

Frankie - trans flag

Graham - aromantic flag

Boulder - agender flag

Blurr - genderqueer, asexual and demisexual flags

Anna baranova - pansexual flag

Madeline pynch - polysexual flag

Dr morocco - intersex flag

Kade - bear flag

Doc greene - leather flag

If you guys want you can recommend me other rb characters and flags to try :D

[cybertron-smash-or-pass]

i knew it would happen but oh my god. oh my. fucking god. i couldn't imagine it would be so bad when requesting. i was thinking about the lola propaganda and emo boy lovers and the gross freak haters. i couldn't possibly imagine that he would get such a GIANT pass percentage. yes there's six more hours to go but i know it's going to get worse over the night. As the blog curator is he really now the most passed on character I'm curious

Currently Masterson is still at a higher percentage than Beast Machines Rattrap, who I believe is our current Least Fuckable character. Masterson clears the bar by a whole percent.

And with your help we can set the bar even lower. It's not too late to Get His Ass

I don't know beachcomber too well but any humanfucker bots are welcome here.

Admittedly I was thinking at least a little bit about the rescue bots when I wrote the post because I swear to Primus every one of the main cast of bots is trying to fuck humans. Not even necessarily their human partners specifically (boulder and heatwave absolutely are tho), but at some point, every one of the bots has Said or Done Some Shit in the show that reads like they're interested in getting with humans. Prowl "I've fantasized about being human before" TFA walked so the rescue bots could sprint.

(I've also just kinda had Boulder/Graham Brainrot lately, so that might be contributing lmao)

[peachy-doodles]

submas aggie? more like. uhhhh

spoony [:

[hexedaibots]

COD Character Ai Bots...

Most of my bots are DIY prompts/plots where you have free range to carve your own story with these characters. But... | If I were to make more bots with actual starters, what would you like to see and with which characters would you like to see it of?

[lets-try-some-writing]

Question. How do you think the TFP bots each find the squishies that are humans look. Like aesthetically. Which ones find them cute or gross or funny looking? Cause in the Scraplet episode, Ratchet said “Typically I find your fleshiness your least engaging qualities.” Meaning that Ratchet find the humans gross to some extent, meaning that the Autobots does have aesthetic opinions about the humans. And it seems like everyone got different opinions. So what’s your head canon for each of their opinions?

Ooooooh now this is a question I will happily answer!

Ratchet: His views on humans and squishies in general is summed up to GROSS. He sees humans as essentially a bunch of organs in a poorly made plastic bag walking around on stilts. They are worse than hairless cats in his optics. They may be nice enough, but he would prefer to poke them with sticks or handle them with a hazmat suit if given a choice. He's warmed up to them, but will never find them particularly appealing. Interesting? Yes. Appealing? Primus no.

Bumblebee: Bumblebee thinks humans are a little unsettling, but he appreciates them in the way one would a pet tarantula. He can find something to see as appealing in them, although as a general rule he is not particularly enthralled with them. He is fond of human eyes, largely because their pupils dilate a great deal like how his optics cycle. He also finds it fascinating how many colors humans can have their eyes up being.

Arcee: She sits in the same boat as Ratchet for the most part. However she has one aspect of humanity that she is surprisingly fond of. She thinks human hair is quite "cute" in a sense. It reminds her somewhat of stories of Solus and she has always found it fun how humans can style their hair in so many unique ways. She has even gone so far as to ask June to teach her how to braid hair simply because Arcee also finds the texture of hair to be facinating.

Bulkhead: His thoughts on humanity can be summed up simply with: Smol Beans. He thinks they are adorable in the way one would look at a mouse and think it cute. Sure humans can do gross things like execrate and create strange internal liquids and sounds, but they are just so small. He can't help but find that fact appealing.

Wheeljack: He is neither grossed out or really invested in humans. He could care less what they look like. He's been everywhere and seen everything, so very little bothers him anymore when meeting new races. He does think that human teeth are interesting though. Cybertronians have their own version of the mouth bones, but humans growing the mouth bones and then having a few sets of them is something he just thinks is rather inspiring.

Smokescreen: He... doesn't like humans. He's in Ratchet's boat, but he's a lot less tactful in his outward reactions. His first few weeks on Earth involved a lot of gagging at humans as a whole. Squishies are not his cup of tea, but he's learned to handle it for the most part. So long as the squishes are clothed reasonably, he can pretend they are armored and ignore the fact that they are walking bags of bits and bone.

Optimus: He doesn't mind humanity. He doesn't think they are physically appealing in any real regard, but he admires their minds. Such small creatures holding hope and intellect on par with the more technological races is something he finds impressive. He also holds an appreciation for their voices simply because they are clear and without complication. It is new, and for that reason he finds it beautiful in a sense.

Ultra Magnus: He doesn't like humans. Period. He tolerates them for the sake of the team and negotiations, and he may be appreciative of human comrades and friends. But the species as a whole? He is not fond of them. He is largely more confused than anything else. He has no idea how such a fleshy and delicate species lasted so long. But he has largely shrugged it off and moved on with life.

[nrdmssgs]

Inhale, exhale.

Why is it almost always bot creators, that steal cod fandom art?

Don't get me wrong, there are others: online shops, fan communities, randos making edits...

But each time I see a TikTok vid that starts with "I made a ghost cai bot" - there is a 95% chance that I see an uncredited artwork there.