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beloved-femboyish-girl · 1 month ago

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men moaning/whimpering playlist rating

Going Rough on your Sub Boyfriend [Boyfriend ASMR] [Whimpering] ("CozyCub ASMR" deleted) -- F. False advertising. No more fucking or being rough.

Petting Your Sub Cat boy [Whimpering] [Bottom Neko] -- B. Not a fan of bitches saying "master" but bros a lil bratty kitt

Dominating your sub boyfriend on his birthday (kisses)[ASMR RP]M4F (official audio) -- D. no domination involved really.

Risky Gorou ASMR| Making Him Whimper From Teasing- NSFW? Gorou x Listener ( Genshin Impact) (excerpt of [NSFW Patreon Exclusive] Risky fun with Gorou behind a building [Bottom] [Blowjob] [Whimpering] [Petting] [NSFW] [Gorou x Listener] ASMR Roleplay 35:56) -- B. aww cute lil puppy boy aww bros EMBARASSED about his puppy taillll

Mommy's good boy -- F. lame whimpers. dont like how he says mommy

Making Your SUBMISSIVE Boyfriend WHIMPER! ⌈NSFW⌋ (official title: [Making Your SUBMISSIVE Boyfriend WHIMPER! ~ [Boyfriend ASMR] [Soft Voice] [Pleading]) -- C-. didnt know if this was gay at first. its fine

Needy Subby Boyfriend Wants Your Attention (ASMR) [M4F] [mommy] [mdlb] [spicy?] [kisses] [needy] -- F. dont like how he says mommy. ""mdlb"" bro talks about going to work out. is lil bro getting ripped. is lil bro getting gains? no. shut up about the gym. talking soft bc roommates are audible too

Ignoring ur subby boyfriend until he breaks (excerpt of Ignoring your subby boyfriend until he breaks (M4A)) -- A. exactly as advertised. fun acting. hes trying soo hard. hes been so good. fuck

100 Tier: "Stuffing The Bird.." A Pleasure Dom Fem!ListenerX Confident To Subby Hawks NSFW HARDCORE (M and NB variants)-- THEYRE BIRDS?? YOURE ACTUALLY BIRDS? kinda awesome B hes being too smug and overacting too fast. Dude are those kissing sounds or am i feeding him a WORM. His guttural breathing is freaking me out dude. mic glitches. ok my bad we're not feeding him worms we're feeding him PUSSYYY!!! + yuup we're tasing your balls bro. id bump up a letter for pain noises but its just too much besides that.

18+ Thoma x Listener| Sub Thoma Moans| Private Meeting At Komore|ASMR Roleplay| Genshin Impact (excerpt of [NSFW Patreon Exclusive] F*cking Thoma at the Teahouse [Bottom Thoma] [Making Him Hold the Moan] [Subby Noises] [Thoma x Listener] ASMR Roleplay 29:06) -- C+. bros still acting well its just no puppyboy and pretty tame.

alright thanks see you tomorrow for tge next ten

PART TWO:

gr#nding against your sleepy boyfriend~ (unknown source) -- D-. doesnt understand anything sexy about the conceit. or maybe at all !

"Couldn't Sleep?" A "Cure" For Restlessness Gojo X M!Listener NSFW (F and NB variants)-- 😥 the bird one was bnha so like is this one is too whos gojo. but same as with the doggy gen-- he just said いただきます. and now a footjob is happening?? bros gagging on whoever "Listener"'s cock is tho. WONT STOP SAYING "THANK YOU FOR THE ME- HE JUST SAID IT AGAIN??? C+ for the continuously impressive voice acting but. well theres wet plapping now. but . the character acting

M4M Annoying sleep boyfriend for cuddles (sleep aid) (official title: M4M Annoying your sleepy boyfriend for cuddles! [ASMR] [BL]) -- bold decision to take on the persona of "annoying". aww no ones gonna hurt you youre with your boYfriEnd. hes not whimpering. D for this list purposes but its fine

M4M Boyfriend holds their little baby boy to sleep (sleep aid) (official title: M4M Boyfriend holds their little baby boy :) [ASMR] [SFW] [LittleSpace]) -- D for no whimpering or moaning. "aww. you havent regressed in a while? do you want to?" "oh i got you some Little stuff. you know for when you're in Little space. wait typing that out made me realize the little in the title was referring to that. anyway its fine this is what i imagine asmrs target audience is anyway

(M4A) ASMR Roleplay: CEO Dominates you (CEO X Listener) [Slight NSFW] (official title: [BAD BOY ASMR] Mafia Boss x Listener. After Shower With Your Yandere Boyfriend!?[Spicy]) -- "[...] cum founder" still slow at 2.5x speed but only 16 minutes long. C-. character work is schlocky stock romance but soo reserved. but i guess theres moaning.

(M4A) ASMR Roleplay: Sadistic Vampire Talks with you (Noble Vampire X Vampire Hunter Listener) [NSFW?] P.2 (official title: [DOM VAMPIRE ASMR] Vampire x Listener. Sadistic Kisses, Delicate Bites!?[Spicy]) -- C shallow world relying on slow brooding but can i just say the description on this one is wild. "- hold on bro is chowing down so ill bump it a lil. anyway "I hope I have the right audio. I haven't listened to the entire thing." bro?? am i the only one here wh

(M4M) ASMR Roleplay: Bully Forces Cuddles on the Bus (Male Bully X Male Underdog Listener) [Mild NSFW] P.2 (original deleted?)-- B this dude is so fucking funny. "whatya listening to. probably some gay shit. *sharp nostril exhale* now be a good little nerd and give me your homework. your lunchmoney too. I WONDER HOW YOU ARE IN BED? YOURE PROBABLY FUCKING GREAT" YESSS. wet gooping sounds happening now with little discernable - oh we're cocksucking this guy ok alright. you put your gay earbuds in and start listening to music at the last 30 seconds. Wow.

Cum in 10 minutes -- F this is binaural beats shit and did NOT cum

Whispering Slurs Asmr -- F. heres an excerpt from the artist's bio: "As a performer, I do not actually agree with anything this anti-social character spews out of his mouth. I will need to be careful what I say because I could be feeding into people’s deeply ingrained prejudices and bigotry. I pray that I do not unintentionally enable a bunch of bad people who resent a changing world."

Taking Care of Your Drunk Boyfriend (unknown source)-- C+. bros whimpering and moaning when he Should be throwing up !!!

PART 3:

alrigt im starting this at 4 am hope i can get fhru this quick NOTE: i didnt

[HOT BULLY ASMR]Bully x Listener. Trapped Together And 7 Minutes In Heaven! [Delinquent,NSFW(?)] -- D. sharp smug mouth inhales after like every sentence. its your first time 🥺 going to someone else's place 😑. its really funny to do a "7 minutes in heaven" scenario with only two people alone in an apartment. "HOT BULLY"? not really bullying at all but apparently im "already biting my lip" so i guess im wrong.

Making Your Boyfriend BEG for it…[SPICY] Boyfriend ASMR [M4M] (official audio)-- B-. sleazy creep type narrator. saying im blueballing him by not fucking right now? holy shit, trying to talk me into not using protection because he doesnt want to get up and go buy more condoms?? toxic as fuck bro...

"Fuck Me Now." A Villain/Mastermind Kenma X Male NSFW (F and NB variants) -- B. there was an alternative female AND "NB" version and the script is mostly the same. "suck my dick while you ride my thigh" good idea! but um i dont think. that works.

(M4M) ASMR Roleplay: Bully Dominates you with Kisses (Male Bully X Male Underdog Listener) [Mild NSFW] P.1 (original deleted?) -- B+ on technicality for no whimpering. bros actually getting vicious with this one. the part 2 was mostly goofy but. like. wow.

ASMR Audio Roleplay - You Challenge Your Dom Friend [M4M] [Friends With Benefits] [Spicy] Pt 1 (official title: You're A Good Boy To Your Dom Friend [M4M] [Friends With Benefits] [Spicy]) -- fuck the criteria. B-. the writing here is impressive. like dudes got natural conversation and character work down so well. and hes funny?? ok hes like a reddit edgelord shithead but hes got jokes. no moaning or whining though!

[M4M] [NSFW] Flirty Dragon Desires You [Part 2] -- can you please fucking speak up dragon i cant hear you over all the bugs. B its corny as fuck but bros moaning and maybe a hint of whimpering.

Subby boyfriend whimpers & begs for "attention" (Spicy boyfriend ASMR | Deep voice | M4A) -- he's whiompering and moaning and also fucking ANNOYING!!!!!!! C this guy Pisses me off. "im gonna cry if i dont get [your attention and pussy]" then CRY!!!!!!!!! "that makes me so squirmy" its all ok now tho bc hes in pain

[REUPLOAD] Daddy Detective NSFW M4M (OP deleted) -- ACAB. F. sadly i was hoping it was freelance.

ASMR [M4M] Your Bored Barista Tries To Kill Some Time With You -- F. bored? check. bro sings "im like a bird" in the quietest voice possible. lmao. no moaning or whining! but its fine

ASMR Audio Roleplay - [M4M] Locker Room Secrets ft. Liquid_Madnezz & cee_ [Kisses] [Spicy] [College] (excerpt?) -- A. POV: YOU'RE the bully?? obnoxious ass opening. also. whatever happened to the navy seals co[pypasta. POV: you crush mad pussy? this i think is the same guy as the dom friend one and dude kinda has writing chops because he paints such a pained but conflicted pairing. i empathize a lil with bro in this. theres whining in this but like, not the sex kind. and there IS moaning. lowkey toxic protagonist!

see u 2morrow for the next ten!

#men whimpering and moaning

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typh0nas · 8 months ago

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Your Safety is My Priority

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Content Warnings: angst to fluff, mentions of blood, violence lol(ie. slight torture sequence ig???), sexual innuendo when Hex shows up LMAO

Character(s): GN!Reader(no pronouns mentioned), Ver Vermillion, Kotoka Torahime, Doppio Dropscythe, Hex Haywire

Authors Notes: holy shit ive been gone for a bit im so sorry guys. Anyways this is somewhat based on that one ASMR that kaichou posted where we're tied up with him hehe, but this time you're the only one that was kidnapped LOL

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Your Safety is My Priority

Darkness envelops your senses. You're vaguely aware of the steady drip of water behind you, and of the chilling cold that sinks into your bones. You groan softly, the wooden chair pressing against your back and the ropes binding your hands rubbing against your skin, most likely leaving marks for you to wince at in the coming days. If that's even possible to say the least. You're not sure where you are, or how much time has passed. Your memory is hazy, bleary images flashing through your mind as you attempt to recall what even led up to your current predicament.

Right, you were in the council room waiting for Ver to arrive. He had asked you to meet him there, letting you know that he had something important to tell you. Even though you and Ver aren't together, there was no denying the lingering touches and the stares that lasted longer than they should have when it came to the two of you. Your brow furrows, as what happened next is a hazy blur.

A rough jerk of your head startles you out of your thoughts and you wince at the blinding lights. "Owwwww..." you hiss, squinting up at your captor, arms folded in front of them. "Really, is that any way to treat your guests? Rather rude to manhandle them," you laugh softly, attempting to make light of your situation whilst observing the surrounding room. The room is dark, save for the singular lightbulb practically blinding you, making it even harder to make out your surroundings. You can sense someone in front of you but their features are unclear to you, the shadows practically enveloping them.

"You shut your mouth," A gruff voice growls out, pain erupting in your jaw. You cough, the metallic tang of blood filling your mouth, and you're pretty sure that's gonna leave a nasty bruise behind.

"Oooooo, the boss isn't gonna like that," another voice cuts in. Although you can't see them clearly, you can practically hear the smirk in their voice. "But then again..." their face comes into focus and you practically grimace from how close they are. They grab your jaw and you let out a small yelp of pain, gritting your teeth, "Why should I care?" Steeling yourself you bite down, hard. Teeth meet flesh and again, the taste of blood floods your senses. You're pretty sure you've cut deep into their hand, which gives you a sense of satisfaction. The individual let out a yell of pain, their expression hardening, any instance of mock sympathy gone from their gaze. They scoff, cradling their injured hand, blood streaming down from the punctures in their hand.

The wind is knocked out of you, and pain erupts in your lower abdomen. Their leg makes contact with your stomach, kicking you so hard it sends you and the chair you're tied to crashing to the floor. You cough again, wheezing as you try to catch your breath, completely disoriented. After a moment, your chair is uprighted once more, your head lolling down.

"You should have just left them there," the second voice comments, meanwhile the first person says nothing, roughly putting you back in place. Your head spinning, you can practically sense yourself slipping in and out of consciousness, struggling to keep your head up. "Whatever, let's just leave them here for now. We can deal with them later." Their footsteps recede into the background and you finally succumb to unconsciousness.

-----

Ver's POV

His leg bounces anxiously, fingers fidgeting as he checks the time. It's been an hour and still no sign of you showing up. He sighs, wondering if his impromptu request was too jarring.

He perks up, hearing the sound of hurried footsteps outside the council room door. With a smile on his face, Ver is able to envision the flustered state you would be in, while profusely apologizing for being late.

A knock at the door alerts him of someone outside. Clearing his throat, Ver gets up from his chair, leaning against the desk. "Come in," his voice is light. However, instead of you, he's instead greeted by Kotoka. Ver frowns, "Koto? Did something happen?" Kotoka pauses, her brow furrowed. "In a way," she sighs softly, "It has to do with Y/N."

Ver can feel his blood run cold, eyes widening slowly. "What do you mean, 'it has to do with Y/N?' Did something happen?" His expression hardens, his hands balling into fists. Ver's thoughts are racing, worry overtaking him. What if something happened to you? Is this why you were so late? Where were you now? Ver knew you were capable of taking care of yourself, but the worry gnawed at him.

Kotoka places a gentle hand on his shoulder, startling Ver out of his spiraling thoughts. Pulling out her phone, she opens up a tracker app, showing Ver. "This was the last known location of their phone." Wordlessly, Ver takes the device from her hands, realization slowly dawning on him. "I should have known..." he murmurs, taking a deep breath, "It seems I didn't clear up all the loose ends from my previous mission....and now I'm paying the price for it."

"Should I have Doppi handle this?" Kotoka gazes up at Ver, concern etched on her face. Ver pauses, before handing back Kotoka's phone to her. "No, there's no need. I will deal with this personally." Slipping on his coat and heading towards the door, he stops for a moment, turning back to Kotoka. "Let the others know I'm going out, but I'll be back soon."

-----

You don't know how long you had been stuck there, but at this point, your hands had gone numb, you were shivering from the incessant draft wafting into the dank, dark basement, and you're pretty sure you had a few broken ribs, based on the way it hurt to breathe. To put things simply, you were quite miserable and in a terrible state. Your captors had long since vacated the basement area, leaving you alone to your thoughts.

---

"Ver," you scold him gently, "You've been working for 4 hours straight, I think you should take a break." Despite the way your arms are crossed over your chest, a smile threatens to break out on your face. Ver sighs softly, rubbing his neck sheepishly, breaking eye contact from the mountain of paperwork on his desk. "I promise I will after I finish this. It's important that I finish and submit this proposal before the due date-"

"Nope!" You pull the pen out of his grasp, pushing the paperwork away from him. Ver lets out a noise of protest, his expression resembling that of a kicked dog. Taking his hands in yours, you pull him up and out of his chair. Getting behind him, you push him towards the door. "Come on 아저씨, you've been working for so long now, I think you deserve some time to yourself. Besides your stuff isn't due until two weeks from now, so I think you can take some time for yourself. Also, you've been sitting at that desk for so long I can practically hear your joints popping and cracking," You teased him, a bright smile on your face. Ver relents, holding his hands up in mock surrender. "Alright, alright I'll take a break. Only because you asked so nicely," he laughs softly, his hand wrapping around yours, fingers intertwining with yours. You feel your face grow warm, not expecting him to be so forward.

Ver tilts his head curiously to the side, before realizing what he had done, his face also flushing. "Oh whoops, I didn't mean to do that, it was instinctual I swear!" He's clearly flustered and you panic a little, feeling him start to let go, tightening your grip on his hand. Ver stares at you, eyes wide from surprise, almost as if he didn't expect you to continue holding onto him. The two of you stand there in between the council room doorway and the hallway, both of you speechless and unsure of how to proceed.

"Oh? Do my eyes deceive me? What do we have here?" Doppio's head peaks around the corner, a mischievous grin on his face. "Looks like you finally made a move, good on you Ver." His grin widens, shooting Ver a thumbs up. You and Ver both flush various shades of red, letting go of each other's hands. "We're not dating Doppi, it's not what it looks like!" You exclaim, trying to explain why you and Ver were holding hands. Another person peeks around the corner, a skeptical look on his face. "Yeesh, you guys really need to get a room, why don't you go back into the council room so you guys can continue eye-fucking each other in privacy."

"Hex shut up."

---

Yelling from above you is the first thing you can hear in your dazed state. A headache rages in your skull, and you lean against the wall. The cool concrete provides some solace, quelling the pounding in your head. The door crashes open, and a pair of frantic footsteps make their way towards you. You open your eyes slightly, immediately recognizing the person before you.

"Y/N!" You can hear the worry seeping into Ver's voice, his hands reaching to cup your face. You unintentionally flinch against him, your head jerking back from the pain in your jaw. Ver's gaze widens, his eyes trailing down to the bruise on your cheek, understanding dawning on him. He presses a gentle hand against your shoulder, conflicting emotions crossing his face.

"Ver-" your voice croaks out. Ver moves to your side, his hands make their way down to the ropes binding yours, a slight grimace on his face. "I'm so, so sorry. I was careless, and because of that you got dragged into my mess," his bangs hang over his eyes, hiding his expression from you. You open your mouth to speak, but you keel over, slight movement from your end turning a dull ache into sharp pain. Ver catches you, supporting you as his hands work his way around the rope. After a moment you clear your throat, looking him in the eyes.

"It's not your fault, trust me. You can't blame yourself for the actions of other people," your voice is scratchy and hoarse, most likely from disuse. He shakes his head, sighing softly, "But I'm the reason you're here now...aren't I?" He pauses, eyes trailing over your figure, seemingly taking in your injured state. "You got hurt because of my carelessness. I have no one to blame but myself."

Finally, after some frustration, he relents, pulling out a small knife, making quick work of the rope. It falls to the ground and you pull your wrists up, rotating them to get the blood flowing again. Your hands feel clammy and numb, and you can see the indents in your wrists, your skin rubbed raw. Ver moves down in front of you, kneeling as he works on cutting away the rope tying your ankles to the chair. Swiftly the rope falls away and your legs are free. You shakily push yourself up off the chair but you stumble, knees weak.

An arm reaches around you to support you. Ver hoists you up as delicately as possible, guilt etched on his face. "Ver-" you whisper, and his head tilts in your direction, indicating that he's listening to you. "I already said this earlier, but this was not your fault alright? I know you're bound to have many enemies, but I know that you'll always be there for me, no matter what happens. These things happen, especially in your line of work," you wheeze out, limping towards the stairs leading upstairs with Ver's help.

Ver gasps softly, a faint flush on his face, "I'm sorry," he murmurs, and you jolt a little, hearing how close his voice is to your ear. "I still can't help but feel guilty because I wasn't able to protect you fully...and I care a lot about you. You mean a lot to me, I'm being serious."

You blink, slightly surprised. You were expecting Ver to be worried about you, but his sudden confession catches you off guard. "...Thank you," you mumble quietly, "For coming to get me, kaichou." He pauses, his stare lingering on you, a quiet laugh emerging from him, "Of course, I will always come save you if you're in danger, no matter what the stakes are."

The two of you stop in front of the imposing staircase, and you wince a little, trying to figure out how you would hobble upstairs. Without warning, you feel your feet lift off of the floor and you let out a yelp, finding yourself in a bridal carry. Ver seemingly lifts you with ease, and you blush feeling his body pressed up against yours. Warmth emanates from him, and as embarrassed as you are, you can't help but lean into him.

You both reach the top of the stairs, emerging into a large warehouse. You peek out a bit, eyes widening at the sight of all the unconscious bodies strewn across the floor. Ver strides towards the open door off to the side, the slight breeze causing you to shiver. Ver takes notice of this, gently setting you down against the wall so you could lean against it for support. You protest a little, already missing his warmth, before a familiar coat is draped over you.

Ver kneels down, smiling softly, tucking his coat around you to keep the warmth in. "It's chilly out, so you can have my coat. I'll call the others to come pick us up okay, I'm sure it won't take them too long." His gaze lingers on you for a moment too long, before he reaches into his pocket to grab his phone. He takes a step back, getting up to make the call. Ver's coat provides a comforting weight, and you can't help but snuggle into it a bit, inhaling his scent that lingers in it. You're reminded of how gentle and tender Ver has always been with you.

---

It doesn't take long for Ver to finish up his call and he turns back to where you are, only to discover that you've dozed off. He chuckles softly, leaning over you to examine your features. "Ver reaches out to brush a stray hair out of your face but pauses, his hand hovering in the air. "Y/N?" he whispers softly, reaching out to brush a stray hair out of your face but hesitating. His hand hovers in the air, but after some more hesitation, he relents, fingers gently grazing your face. You barely stir, chest rising and falling with each breath that you take. "Heh, you look pretty good with my jacket on you," he mutters, his face becoming flushed. Against his better judgement, he leans over, tucking your hair behind your ear, his lips grazing your forehead ever so slightly.

"Sweet dreams, no harm will befall you as long as I'm here."

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#ashers writing #not a request #nijisanji #nijisanji en #2434 #nijisanji en x reader #nijisanji x reader #2434 x reader #xsoleil #xsoleil x reader #ver vermillion #ver vermillion x reader #if ver somehow sees this i will simply pass away LOL

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rythyme · 2 years ago

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ok i know i'm late to the abaab party but the whole premise is so funny to me. like the main pov is cher and from his perspective it's a fairly classic "i have a secret affair with my boss" thing. but from gun's perspective? this is literally a wattpad self insert fic. like his favorite ASMR YouTuber randomly starts working at his company and immediately seems interested in him. i mean REALLY interested. this YouTuber flirts with him all the time and goes out of his way to be nice to him and somehow understands him better than anyone else. and then when he learns that gun is a fan he starts giving him private ASMR sessions every night to "help him sleep." gun is straight up a wattpad y/n protagonist and i'm obsessed with the fact that he isn't the pov character because that's SO FUCKIN FUNNY.

#a boss and a babe #abaab #thai drama #lgbt drama #theo.txt #100

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absolutebl · 1 year ago

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This Week in BL - lots, just LOTS

I thought I would be pretty lean reporting for Oct 2023 but then (for reasons relayed here) the weeklies got saved by a drunk avenging hacker in a hotel room.

Oct 2023 Wk 1

Except I still can't watch IFYLITA, because I use my other computer for it.

Gotta say though, watching tese mostly all in one day (for travel reasons) is beyond even my BL superpowers. I did my best tho.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 8 of 12 - Sailom, sweetie, Kang is never sleeping alone again. It wasn't really translated, but Kang's way of speaking in that opening stinger was VERY cutsie. Also the gay sheets have made another appearance. I do have to say that "rich kid problems" is not my favorite story arc, but I still think this is a great Thai BL.

Naughty Babe (Sat YT) ep 6 of 8 - I love that they are finally talking to each other but Yi’s whole personality is shifting. Honestly, this pair is great at kissing and casual touches, but the friendships are the best thing about this franchise. Also Mr Chenne remains my fav character. But where did Diao's baby superhero team come from? And why? This show is very confusing... It’s also not very good.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) You Are My Soulmate ep 7 - This was the one of the series I was looking forward to the most, because silly, pretty, and v BL. It is, in fact all those things and nothing more. So I'm enjoying it, of course.

Absolute Zero (Thai Weds iQIYI) ep 2 of 12 - I like it, but it feels like it's gonna be so sad. I'm having Promise and Dew the movie flashbacks. Plus 12 eps seems too long for this narrative thread. I am worried.

Venus in the Sky (Tues iQIYI) 6 of 10 eps - This show is so slow it's hardly worth the bandwidth, but we attained "baby is a floppy drunk" and thus a finger bite frustration scene, which was nice.

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 9 of 10 (not a BL but I'm watching it anyway) - Ray is so mean to Sand. The not-a-thing with Sand & Nick was cute. I’ve had several experiences like that. All my queer friendship groups tend to be incestuous, but sometimes they're just too much of a sibling and trying to sleep with them is the most unsexy thing in the universe. To be fair, I’ve also been in Ton’s position (this ep). Jojo sure makes queer shizz. But also, Ton must have a magic rod with everyone wanting a repeat. (I'm so glad they put Neo in this role, no one else at GMMTV could play him as complex or sympathetic.)

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

You Are Mine (Taiwan Fri Viki) eps 5 of 10 - now officially known by me as "I'm too sunshine for this seme" where our boss is being hella obvious but our cinnamon roll is just too ooey-gooey to notice. Al.though, baby boy, he takes you home, sleeps on top of you, feeds you cookies (IN HIS BED) and keeps you in his space? Surely even this sunshine is catching a few rays of truth?

Gaga's *unintelligible gay murmuring* is my favorite caption EVER.

Also the name of my new ASMR YT channel.

Bon Appetit (Korea Weds iQIYI) 3-4 of 8 - ah gay panic, also what is Korea's obsession with 7 year separations? Is it only true love if you wait 7 years? Dohoon is SUCH a flirt, it's kinda great! Also, since it's Korea, we got us a bit of a love triangle with 2 hyung romances, so I (of course) am torn. Either way Dohoon is going down. I do love how much time we are spending with the food in this drama, finally one that lives up to its name. On an entirely different note, Korean camping is the most bizare thing to me. It's SO damn civilized. There will be NO DIRT. They pack blow torches. And full dinner sets. Every time I see it in a drama, I'm amused.

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 7 of 8 - OMG these 2 are so in love with each other, and so ridiculous about it. They're tiny idiots but I love them.

If It’s With You AKA Even If I Fall In Love With You AKA Kimi to nara Koi wo Shite Mite mo’ (Japan Gaga) ep 1 of 5 - from MBS a live action adaptation of Kubota Maru’s manga ‘君となら恋をしてみても. Amane has stopped loving people due to trauma until he meets Ryuji. At first Amane just wants to play with Ryuji but… feelings.

I like the odd Japanese mature-childishness in this one. Plus a broken sunshine who is out in a kind of aggresive way and an instinctive caring seme. What's not to love? Well, it's Japan I'm sure it will surprise me one way or another.

Mr Cinderella 2 (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 3 of ? - the cray cray step brother quazi incest is a bit much for me. Why does VBL just suddenly get so unhinged like this?

Kiseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) ep 9 of 13(?) - resumes next week

It's Airing But...

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Fri grey) ep 8 of 12 - I will try to watch 8-12 and do a series review when I get back in November but... not sure I will be able to. Fingers crossed.

Love in Translation (Sat iQIYI) ep 8fin - I will complete and drop a review in Nov.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - 4th installment in this series (1st series, 1 special, 1 movie prior) about a lawyer who lives with his boyfriend, a hairdresser, and cooks for him. I find thie series more fun to binge, som I'm waiting until it completes its run.

I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan Tues Netflix-Japan & ????) - in classic JBL fashion, I Cannot Reach You could not be reached.

Can I Buy Your Love From A Vending Machine? AKA Sono Koi, Jihanki de Kaemasu ka? (Japan cinema release in-country only) - This one is a movie from Japan so in customary fashion who tf knows when (or if) it will get international distribution. Salaryman Ayumu Koiwai just can't tear his eyes away from the strong, muscular man as he checks on the stocks of the vending machine in his office.

In case you missed it?

Crazy Handsome Rich (Sun Gaga) Apparently ended its run I DNFed this at ep 3. So no review from me.

My Beautiful Man: Eternal AKA Utsukushii Kare Eternal (Japan movie Viki & Gaga) - Play it again Sam, only I'm kinda tired of this song. I was v dramatic tho. And it's always nice to be reminded JBL can kiss when it puts its mind to it. 8/10

Next Week Looks Like This

Upcoming October BL

10/31 SHADOW (Thai VIU ????) - this is a horror BL featuring ghosts and other paranormal elements in a high school setting. I'm not wild about Thai horror (or horror at all, but if it must be done in BL let Japan do it). It features Singto (who did paranormal BL He's Coming to Me) opposite Fluke N (who's done a couple horror's before). Also Fiat. Dan suffers from sleep paralysis, and in his dreams he sees a shadow that suffocates him. It gets worse when he transfers schools.

10/? Bump Up Project AKA Bump Up Business (Korea ????) - BL staring OnlyOneOf that released(??) as a movie in July but is now being recut and reissued as a series. Stars NineMill and from Idol Romance bulled as a love story between a trainee who is about to debut and a celebrity from the same agency (based on a webtoon). OnlyOneOf have been auditioning for this since Libido IMHO. You can watch me chronicle their BL MV work in this post. Idol Romance will do sad but can do good kisses (Wish You, Nobleman Ryu, Once Again, Kissable Lips, Poongduck 304, Tasty Florida, Tinted With You) but I don't think we will get any in this. After that OmegaX Shoulder bullshizz buisness I am very wary of this show.

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

I've seen this Chinese drama like... no wait... okay it's like EVERY Chinese drama ever.

(both Mr Cinderella 2)

I only got to watch this scene and the bath, but bot were pretty darn good! I Feel You Linger in the Air

There's only one bed but they slept together on the floor anyway. One of BL's oddest tropes.

I do love a finger bite. (both Venus in the Sky)

Good advice

(Naughty Babe)

(Last week)

#this week in bl #bl updates #bl reviews #My Beautiful Man Eternal Review #currently airing bl #new bl #utsukushii kare #bl 2023 #Thai BL #Taiwanese BL #Korean BL #Japanese BL #live action yaoi #I Feel You Linger in the Air #Mr Cinderella 2

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escapedaudios · 10 months ago

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I was thinking about my notorious disrespect for the yandere trope, which is weird because I have written yandere audios before (as a script writer on behalf of other VAs) and enjoyed writing them. Sometimes I'm just like "ok do I hate this trope in audios or not".

And I think I realized that I just hated how watered-down it was by people who fundamentally misunderstand the point of that trope. It was really, really popular in the early 2020s, so tons of people jumped on it as a trend but fucked it up. Audios are usually based around romance to some degree, especially one-shot boyfriend/girlfriend ASMR roleplay, which kind of conflicts with the point of the yandere.

One problem is that yandere is a character trope, not a genre, but it gets treated like a genre and therefore has no direction for plot. The other problem is that the yandere is not *supposed* to be appealing, I see the appeal of wanting to imagine yourself desired by someone so obsessed that they'd do horrible things to have you, but that appeal is supposed to be IN SPITE of the mega-creepiness at the surface. Yandere is not a romance trope, it's a horror trope, and writing them as romantic love interests will clash with writing them as yanderes.

Some people who like the trope will say "oh well my yanderes are softer" or "my yanderes aren't toxic". My liege, the toxicity is what makes them yanderes. When you try to make them sympathetic, soft, or non-toxic you hollow them out into a husk. You didn't improve the trope by making them good people, they're supposed to be fundamentally frightening and immoral.

I see a lot of eagerness among VAs/writers to use bad guy tropes (ex: mafia bosses, monsters, supervillains, delinquents, etc) but a lot of hesitancy to actually make them bad. The mafia bosses actually have a code of honor and won't victimize innocent people, the monsters behave indistinguishably from regular people, the villains and delinquents are just misunderstood well-meaning people. It's actually so whack.

Let them be bad, I promise you, it won't damage their appeal. People salivate over pure fucking evil fictional bad guys all the time. The listeners who pick your video hoping for monsters, yandere freaks, and villainy are there for it, otherwise they wouldn't have chosen to watch it. Don't worry about making them non toxic. This is all fiction, there's tons of stuff that would ve horrifying and wrong in real life that is appealing and fun in fiction.

Anyway, I'm hoping for a classic yandere comeback one day where they are just god damn terrible people with no regard for being non-toxic soft yandere bullshit characters.

#writer thoughts #tropes #yandere asmr #yandere audios #audio roleplay #evil characters #asmr roleplay #audio rp #mafia asmr #supervillain asmr

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danmeichael · 7 months ago

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i definitely want a vtuber au as a means to explore genderfuckery but i think objectively the funniest option is corpo vtuber agency sisheng peak

chu wanning is a rescue, he used to be employed under rufeng productions but suddenly graduated. after his graduation it slowly came to light that rufeng is extremely exploitative and neglectful with it's livers.

he's the first liver in sisheng peak -- honestly, sisheng peak wasn't even supposed to be an agency at the start, xue zhengyong just noticed his specialest princess was feeling down now that he couldn't stream anymore and decided to lend a hand

tanlang elder/xie fengya becomes cwn's manager, they have a very endearing bickering relationship.

xfy nags him in chat to end stream and sleep/eat/etc.

xzy is affectionately called tianshi-laoban by fans, as he is also anonymous for the most part and is extremely beloved.

in rufeng cwn had the persona of a scholarly, tortured (musical) idol with extremely deep lore, he was adored for his guqin streams as well as asmr.

im sorry to say this but the funniest option for cwn's new vtuber persona is xia sini. extremely deep-voiced child saying "mods, ban him". he is obviously immediately nicknamed the boss baby.

the guqin streams return, the asmr streams do not. it is heavily theorized he was being forced to do the asmr.

cwn, partly due to his previous renown and the drama tied to rufeng, is a massive success

there's more than enough to profit coming in to fund any projects cwn wants to carry out (mostly some extremely ambitious charity streams) and xzy can't think of anything better to do with all this anime boyfriend cash than support more up-and-coming creatives and make more anime boyfriends.

thus enters their conservative second wave! the promos are angel-and-devil themed, which briefly makes people very excited that maybe tianshi-laoban is debuting but alas, that is not the case

shi mei and taxian-jun drop and some people are sad there's no ceo

most of them are just excited about the femboy and the daddy dom

shi mei (irl: hua binan) is the most sickeningly sweet powerfully pink femboy you have ever seen in your life. he opens every stream with a charmingly cringe "hi honeys! <3"

he does a cutesy voice and plays up a sweet adorable character during his debut but his first non-debut stream is "getting over it" and that image is shattered very quickly and he gets a reputation for being surprisingly foul-mouthed. probably for the better, he was liable to kill someone with an icepick if he had to keep doing that voice.

he plays a lot of horror games with a heart rate monitor and gets clipped for the fact that his heartrate never spikes.

taxian-jun (irl: mo ran) is the sort of obnoxious sultry daddy dom you expect him to be. he's the only one who really bothers with a lore video. a demon emperor who died lonely, nobody willing to love him due to his out of control temperament, only to be reborn and shown his first scraps of kindness by tianshi-laoban and xia sini.

he does so much asmr. a nauseating amount of boyfriend experience asmr

his model has tiddy jiggle, a massive amount of cleavage, a shirtless toggle, and has toggles to hold a cat-o-nine, handcuffs, and a blurred out sounding rod. he calls his fans his "kittens"

the only reason he doesn't get into controversy every other week is because he's indebted to xzy, and also doesn't want to disappoint shi mei or his shixiong.

collabs with all three members are kind of a nightmare.

it quickly becomes clear that both shi mei and taxian-jun are a little bit obsessed with xia sini and are competing for their shixiong's attention

shi mei usually wins these competitions

this makes for a lot of very funny fanart of #foreveralone txj.

where is xue meng, you ask?

well, what is any vtuber without their extremely beloved manager? he sometimes joins in on streams with a little pngtuber

the pngtuber is an extremely glamorous ikemen prince holding a clipboard.

his voice cracks constantly.

there is a disproportionate amount of porn fanart of him compared to sm and txj

#2ha #sisheng agency au #long post #2ha spoilers #except they're vtuber themed

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mr-laveau · 9 months ago

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👨‍💼 Audio Announcement 👨‍💼

Eyo NeXus listeners!

We have a new audio available to listen to and it's a script fill for the wonderful @autisticempathydaemon with his script over here! Hope you all enjoy the video over on my YT

#audio rp #audio script #audio #asmr boyfriend #boyfriend asmr #asmr roleplay #mafia boss #mafia boss rp #mafia boss boyfriend #mr. laveau #script fill #hoping all wonderful things for lexi sun to this day as I bask in this character they made

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catella-ars · 2 years ago

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@espressoth and I have been talking for quite a while about how to resolve The Quinn Issue within the, like, pocket universe that is Moonlit Museum Babes, and I finally decided to illustrate it.

Quinn switches up his game a little by taking a prisoner, stealing and turning Ines, then to twist the knife, setting her on Sam and Marley when they come to retrieve her. The combination of Quinn being somewhat weak from a recent turning and Marley being Severely Pissed (2+ of her people having been hurt by him) ends with Quinn dead and Ines snapping back to herself, horrified, before passing out.

Sometime later, she wakes in her own bed, partners nearby with tea and blood bags and so much affection. At least one of them is with her around the clock, offering comfort and insight. She has a hard time at first, terrified to be around anyone but them, but eventually settles well into the vampire life. Spending forever minding her museum and guiding strays (that’s another story) doesn’t sound too bad.

#art #comic #dames!#blood #violence #injury #fan characters #mmb #moonlit museum babes #redacted asmr #redacted sam #pack aunt marley #ines #museum boss ines #was that their title? i straigjht up dont remember

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piffany666 · 1 year ago

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What you favourite gba character says about you! (Based on the Eldena doubleca5t series on YouTube)

(This is a joke please do not take any of this personally)

Loyal: your probably either a black butler fan or an angle beats fan

Servos: you had a crush on Marshalllee from adventure time

Yargwin: at some point in your life you've probably been obsessed with either Jack sparrow or Captin hook from Once upon a time. That being said you do have good taste

Kalomos: you just wanted good things for kalomos and really....who wouldn't?

Lry: you need everyone in this series to just chill the f*k out for like 5 minutes

Vail: your favourite trope is a character being blissfully unaware of how powerful they are

Raspa: you are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of a mad scientist

Mortals: you have some....complicated feelings about episode 3 of space pirates

Vision: your childhood crush was garnett from steven universe

Heartburn: you still don't know the answer to the mystery of 1. Why did yargwin tell him that "him and Arkov aren't married" and 2. Why heartburn is even here but the difference is that your not mad about the second one

Kaunda: your either a lesbian or a liar

Banar: you really like full metal alchemist

The butterfly king: your OTP is fizz x Ozzmodius from hellova boss

Albus: you are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of "I can fix him" but you will inevitably realise that you can't and then promptly exept him as he is

Devlin: your probably autistic and the quickest way to your heart is somebody showing even the slitest amount of intrest In YOUR special interest

Odin: you really like God of war

Odysseus: you understand the significance of Odin calling him that...also you probably really like "epic the musical"

Tyr: you really like lore olympus

Fenrir: you are a furry that or your just a redacted fan

Okami: you were the f*kers who kept spaming "okami did nothing wrong" in that one live stream

Makkaro: you are a firm believer in the inherent eroticism of "a hero will sacrifice you to save the world but a villan will sacrifice the world to save you"

Zed: I want to use the joke used by the person this post was inspired by and say that you like "men👏 getting 👏pegged!" But honestly if your favourite character is zed you probably just really like the owl house

Mirrin: when zed asked the guardian if they used to be lovers you got your hopes up way to quickly

Frank: you had a crush on Billy butcherson from hocus pocus

Hipswich: you believe in the inherent eroticism of the song "good lookin"

Mahatma/atila: this is just the same joke as raspa but like even more so

Huginn: your favourite ship dynamic is "neurodivergent character rambling" x "could listen to them talk forever"

Muninn: your favourite asmr trope is reverse comfort

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anonymousredactedconfessions · 1 year ago

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To the anon asking if there were other boyfriend ASMR/audio roleplay channels with plots at least on par with Redacted, you're in luck! I mostly listen to plot-driven stuff so here's my recommendations.

Good Boy Audios: He has multiple series, all of them take place in the same universe but in different settings. His romance is a lot more slower burn than something like Redacted but that's fine, because I like slow burn and the plots keep me hooked. I recommend Bastard Warrior and Space Pirate Saga.

Escaped Audios: Super cinematic channel with a very strong focus on storytelling. He has a good balance between adventure and romance, and his playlists perfectly blend the two in almost every series. All of of his series feel like living through a movie. I recommend The Neon Barbarian/Neon Wings if you like bittersweet romance/angst, and The New Jersey Rats if you prefer a more light-hearted romantic adventure.

ZSakuVA: Priest already mentioned him but he's great. He has tons of characters who each have their own playlist. Some of his characters occupy the same universe and share the same story, kind of like what Redacted does. I recommend listening to his Elias (mafia son) and Issac (boss) playlists back to back, they complete eachother's stories and I love the boyfriend stuff.

Desmond ASMR: He uploads on a really slow schedule but all of his videos are super long and well made, almost movie length sometimes. I love his voice and his characters, and there's always an element of adventure in his work. I recommend his arranged marriage series and his gladiator series.

Siren's Son: He's kind of like Redacted in that a lot of his work takes place in a shared universe and there's a mix of both plot-driven arcs as well as fluff/comfort/boyfriend roleplay arcs scattered throughout. His Westhaven series is one of my comfort series that I re-listen to over and over. Also, honorable mention to Obsidian Lantern. Siren's Son and him collab together on a series called Gator Boys set in SS's universe and it's great.

Scythe Audio: A super exciting channel. He has romance/boyfriend roleplay but he's more of a story and action focused channel (we love him for it). I love his fucked up monstrous and villainous characters. I've been obsessed with his V/Villain Saga for like two years now and it just keeps getting better. I also recommend his Werewolf action/horror series, The Alpha Claw Saga.

Nomad's Tales: He's been around a long time and has a huge body of work with really entertaining series. He's just now starting season two of his series Frosthaven so it's the perfect time to catch up! I also like his Yandere Knight playlist and A Theif's Tale (a modern romance/thriller).

Those are the best story driven boyfriend ASMR/audio roleplay channels I know of. If anyone has more recommendations I'd love to hear them.

- 🖤 Blackheart anon

(usually don't respond to confessions and whatnot, but i will say that you should probably NOT support Siren's Son. He has made it very clear that he is anti-choice/pro-forced birth/anti-abortion/pro-life whatever you wanna call it. I wouldn't be giving youtube revenue money to someone that thinks half the human population doesn't deserve or have a right to bodily autonomy)

Receipts below the cut.

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #the priest speaks #🖤 blackheart anon #not a confession

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simpinghour · 1 year ago

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Cake and Pears at 2am Hange x fem! reader (ch 2)

Summary: What is meant to be a casual night out to hang with Mikasa and friends leads you to meeting the very dapper, very suave even though they sometimes remind you of a golden retriever, Hange.

This was meant to be a mafia AU and there are light mentions of it but that’s not the focus. Here you’ll read about a fem!reader who is 14 years younger than a nonbinary Hange but doesnt let that stop her from dating them.

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Nonbinary Hange, gothkasa, Strap on sex, loss of virginity with strap on, this is smutty as hell and I have no regrets, side Eruri, Side Eremika, Squirting, Oral Sex, Fingering, also side Mikenana, Yelena needs her ass kicked, age gap, but not a creepy age gap I promise, I had to do so much research about strap ons for this damn fic

link to chapter 1

Ao3 link

Chapter 2

You were nervous the entirety of that following week, unsure if Hange was going to contact you. After going through several scenarios in your head, you finally put on a horror film to serve as a distraction. Just as you began screaming at the screen, telling the main character that she was an idiot to go out into the dark to investigate a strange sound, you got a text from an unfamiliar number Thursday evening.

‘Hi! Sorry it’s late, but I didn’t want to keep you waiting. It’s Hange, we met at Levi’s bar. If you were waiting, that is. I don’t want to assume. I’d love to meet you for lunch or coffee one day if that’s okay.’

A full-on scream left your mouth, and immediately you felt like a jackass. You weren’t in high school and Hange wasn’t your first crush, but somehow you were easily reverted to a swooning schoolgirl.

It was a few minutes before you replied, not because you wanted to play it cool but because you felt like an idiot and didn’t know what to say. Finally you told Hange that you’d love to meet them for coffee.

You insisted that you were fine with meeting at Starbucks, but they were adamant about wanting to take you to some café you’d never heard of.

“It sounds like Hange finally texted you,” Mikasa says dryly when you answer her call the next afternoon. “Does this mean you’re going to stop moping around like some sad emo?”

“I was not moping and I wasn’t acting like an emo,” you protest.

“Yeah, anyway. So are you two going out soon? Please tell me you made plans.”

“Yes, Mikasa, damn! We’re going to meet up for coffee next weekend.”

“Great,” she replies in a dry tone. “I’ll be there bright and early to do your hair and makeup. Also to do an outfit check because you know when you get nervous that focusing on anything is like trying to hold onto a snowball in hell.”

“Beautiful analogy, and fine. I’ll let you know what time when I speak to Hange again.”

As promised, Mikasa shows up bright and early, smelling of clove cigarettes with her makeup kit in tow.

“Have you showered yet? Did you wash your face? Did you moisturize and put on spf?” she asks in a tone that sounds somewhat accusatory.

“Yes to all of the above, boss,” you tell her mockingly. “And I’m not wearing this,” you continue, gesturing to your old Siouxsie tee shirt and leggings. “I sweat when I get nervous and I didn’t want to ruin my outfit.”

“Well of course you’re not wearing that,” Mikasa says, rolling her eyes. “Let’s go, I want to see what you picked out.”

Your date outfit is laid out at the foot of your bed, and Mikasa eyes each piece critically. A simple but cute blouse, skirt, cardigan and boots all in earth tones is what you picked out.

“Okay, that works with the type of makeup I have,” Mikasa announces while shoving you into a chair.

Your best friend’s brusque manner of speaking was completely contrary to the way she delivered personal attention. Perhaps that was why your friend group had no issue with letting her practice makeup on them; it was relaxing enough to make one fall asleep. And that was why you found yourself almost dozing off from the almost ASMR-like sounds of compacts snapping shut and different brushes stroking over your face.

Mikasa works on your hair last, and you move your head as directed when she uses a spritz bottle to revive your curls. She arranges it in a style that is cute but also out of your face, which she knows you hate. Your makeup is perfect; Mikasa has the ability to do makeup that almost looks like a filter on one of those apps. There’s just enough color on your eyelids, cheeks and lips and you’re enthralled with everything.

“Yes, I know, my work is impeccable,” Mikasa tells you as she begins repacking her makeup kit. “Now get dressed.”

“You’re so damn bossy. But I love you anyway.”

***

An hour later, you drive to a quaint part of town that you’d only driven through. The coffee shop turned out to be gorgeous; instead of traditional tables and chairs there were squishy sofas and armchairs, and a real working fireplace. Everything was done in warm tones, and decorated with autumn and Halloween items as it was the beginning of October. You asked the waitress if you could take a cornered window seat, since there were two comfortable looking armchairs with a low antique table in between. waiting in a window seat, hoping that you wouldn’t have to wait long.

One in the afternoon was the chosen meeting time, and it’s five after when you get a text when they apologize for running late. When they finally arrive and find you sitting at the small table with the open menu spread out, they immediately grin and wave.

“Sorry, sorry,” Hange says after they sit down, taking the jacket that was thrown over their shoulder and draping it on the back of their chair. As they move you try to avoid the graceful column of their throat that’s peeking out from the unbuttoned collar of a light blue button down. Their long legs are encased in slim, tan trousers and they have on a matching red belt and suspenders. Their shiny auburn hair is messily pulled back just like before to expose a slanted smile, and you can feel your heart kick up a notch. “It took me forever to find my car keys. I swear, I could trip over them ten times in an hour when I don’t need them but the moment I do? They sprout legs and walk away. You look amazing, by the way.”

“Thank you, so do you. I almost wondered if I’d got stood up,” you say jokingly, and Hange looks aghast.

“Definitely not!” they reply adamantly. “Levi told me I was a dumb ass for not asking for your number that night, along with Miche. But after that graceless encounter with my ex, I didn’t want to seem pushy.”

“Nah, you would have definitely got my number,” you assure with a grin. Just as you lean forward with an elbow on the table, a waitress comes over and asks if you two are ready to order.

“I didn’t get to ask you much about yourself the night we met,” Hange says after you two have placed your orders. “You let me ramble on and didn’t stop me.”

“I liked listening to you,” you admit with a shy smile. “What do you want to know?”

“Ehh, anything. Favorite food? When’s your birthday? What are your hobbies? Do you have any pets and if so, can I meet them?”

You tell Hange about yourself and they do the same. You find out they’re a chief scientific officer of a lab on the outskirts of the city. That in itself sounds fascinating and Hange is all too eager to talk about their work.

“Wait, I thought you and Levi and everyone else…” you trail off, wanting to ask about the whole mafia thing but unsure if that question would be well received.

“Oh, that,” Hange replies with a small smile. “Let’s just say it helps to have someone around with my background.”

“I gotcha. Do you have any pets?”

“No, unfortunately not. I like cats but my place isn’t exactly the safest place for one.”

“I could always see if there’s a cat café. Maybe we could go together.”

“Cat cafes?! Those exist?!”

Hange looks so excited and adorable that you want to kiss them.

The date lasts a little over two hours. Despite the age difference, you find that you and Hange have a lot in common and a million things to talk about. You’re sure you could have talked to them some more only the waitress is apologetic when she brings the check, stating that they have a two-hour seating limit.

When you reach behind the chair to grab your purse, Hange immediately stops you.

“It’s my treat since I invited you,” they continue, pulling out a wallet to withdraw a silver card and place it in the bill holder.

“Fine. But can I leave the tip? The waitress was really nice.”

“Something tells me it’s futile to argue with you so I’ll concede,” Hange tells you teasingly.

Once the bill is paid, you and Hange head out to the parking lot. It’s clear that neither of you are ready to part ways just yet, and you end up standing outside talking for another twenty minutes.

“Okay, as much as I hate to say goodbye it’s clear that you’re cold,” Hange tells you when they notice you shivering despite your upper half being covered in a thick cardigan.

“I don’t either,” you tell them in a pained voice with a grin, “but yeah, I am getting a little cold. This is that weird part of autumn when it’s hot one minute and cold the next.”

“Well I’m hoping we’ll see each other again? Sooner rather than later?” Hange asks hopefully.

“Oh trust me, we will,” you admit. “I had a good time today. This was nice.”

“Yeah, it was,” Hange sighs, slumping back against their car door. Then they straighten up and sort of turn towards you. “Is it okay if I hug you goodbye?”

“Yes, it’s definitely okay,” you answer, and immediately step closer to them.

“Damn, you smell good,” you murmur against their neck upon catching a whiff of what smells like tobacco and sweet vanilla.

“So do you,” Hange says in a similar tone, their head almost buried in your curls. “Your hair smells amazing.”

“You aren’t making us having to part ways any easier,” you tell them in a slight whine.

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop.” Hange lets you go and reaches into their pocket for their car key. “Will you let me know that you got home safe?”

“Will do!” you reply, turning to get into your car.

***

When you text Hange upon getting home, they immediately text you back and tell you that it was nice to see you and they look forward to your next date.

Later that evening after dinner and a bath, you find yourself online searching for a local cat café. You’re surprised to find a cat café that isn’t too far, but it’s a thirty-minute drive away.

You text Hange and ask if they’re busy next Saturday and if not and they want to hang out, you’d love to take them somewhere. Hange calls you pretty girl and says they’ll go anywhere with you. They also state that they’ll meet you at your house if that’s fine because their house isn’t exactly close to anything.

Hange is excited to be in the passenger seat and is surprised when you let them connect their phone to your car so they can put on a playlist.

“You really don’t mind?”

“Nah,” you reply. “There isn’t much I don’t listen to so I’m sure I’ll like whatever you put on.”

The easy beat of indie music fills your car, and you laugh after hearing a handful of songs by bands you also listen to. Talk of music and bands you both like takes place the rest of the ride, and soon you’re pulling up to the destination.

“What! You found one!” Hange yells when they see the glass window of the cat café. On it are adorable hand drawn kitties frolicking about between mugs and plates of desserts.

They continue losing their shit after you two walk inside, and soon they’re seated with a latte that has a cat face drawn into the foam, which goes ignored for the hazel-eyed grey tabby who leapt onto Hange’s lap to sniff their sleeve.

“Ooooh, aren’t you cute!” Hange coos, holding out a hand. The cat ends up shoving their head into Hange’s palm, demanding to be petted.

While Hange is busy meeting the demands of their new furry friend, you slip away to find a dispenser that sells cat treats. After you return to the table, you slide some of them in Hange’s direction and they immediately pick up one and the cat politely takes it from their hand.

“Oh my goodness, he ate it! What a good boy!” they enthuse, happily stroking his head.

The rest of the afternoon finds you and Hange seated on the floor near the cat towers, dispensing treats and cuddles. A striped tabby with white socks found its way to your lap and keeps hugging you, and you laugh when she nuzzles her face against yours.

“I want to take you home,” you tell the kitty, on the verge of tears with joy when she purrs contently as you stroke her back.

Eventually it becomes apparent that multiple cups of lattes and macarons aren’t enough sustenance, and hunger drives you two to finally leave. Then it turns out neither of you are ready for the date to be over, and you both get takeout sushi and bring it back to your place.

“Today was fun, thank you,” Hange tells you later after you’ve finished eating. Now you two are on the sofa with hot mugs of tea before you on the coffee table, and Hange is sticking their legs out straight and flexing their toes in the thick fuzzy socks you loaned them. “These are cute. And comfortable.”

“You can’t relax properly at home until you have on comfy socks,” you reply, then something else comes to mind. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah.”

“Why did you look surprised when I paid for our stuff at the café?”

“Did I?”

“Yes, you did.”

“Ah. I think it’s because besides my friends, I’ve never had a date offer to pay.”

You stare at them incredulously with your mouth open. “Hange… what kind of derelicts did you date?”

They give you a sort of embarrassed laugh while ruffling their hair.

“Did Yelena expect you to pay for everything? Even if she was the one who offered to take you out?”

“Ah…I think so?”

“Hange!”

“What?”

“You can’t let people take advantage of you like that.”

“Well, I didn’t think it was a big deal. I did make more money than her, which she even pointed out so—”

“That makes it even worse! No wonder Levi hated her entitled ass—whoops, pretend you didn’t hear that.”

Hange laughs raucously though they no longer sound embarrassed. “I guess Mikasa told you about that. It’s true though; he didn’t like her. Actually, neither did the rest of my friends.”

“Now Mikasa didn’t tell me this, but I’m guessing Levi said she was selfish. Am I right?”

“Yes. How did you know?”

“Lucky guess. But I know her type; there was a time when I was surrounded by selfish people but I was too involved to realize. You know that analogy about not seeing the forest for the trees? That was me.”

“I see. Was that an old boyfriend, or…”

“Boyfriend, friends, and family. I’m twenty-six now and it took me twenty-one of those years to get to a point where I no longer tolerate selfish people. It’s funny how many people no longer like you when you force them to respect your boundaries. It’s fine though; I have really great friends now.”

“You’re a good person,” Hange murmurs. “How are you single right now?”

“Have you met some of these people?” you ask, giving a dry laugh. “It’s not that hard, believe me.”

“I suppose you’re right. Though now I am curious; have you been with someone like me before?” Hange asks, leaning their head against a hand while peering at you.

“What do you mean, someone who’s super smart, nonbinary, or the whole organized crime thing?”

You say the last part in a sort of whisper and it makes Hange laugh. “You’re cute. Either or.”

“Both, but if it matters I don’t have much experience with seriously dating anyone of any gender.”

“What? That’s surprising.”

“The dating world is a cesspool,” you explain, thinking back to all the secondhand knowledge you gained at the expense of your friends and their failed relationships. “The last few guys I went out with were so charming— at first. It was a damn case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde; one demanded a blowjob because he paid for my one cider at the bar. The other ran up a $200 drink tab and claimed he forgot his wallet when it was time to pay the tab. Mind you I only had a couple of sodas because I don’t get drunk around people I barely know.”

“What the hell! How did that night end?”

“The bar owner gave him two choices—either wash dishes or go to jail for the night. I paid for my two drinks and left before he made a decision.”

“So no old girlfriends?”

“Crushes, yes. Girlfriends… no.”

“And why is that?”

“Because I was too shy to tell a girl I liked her,” you confess, cringing as you think back to the few times you made an attempt at flirting with a girl. “Though one time we all went to a club and two girls literally made me into their sandwich filling and danced with me most of the night. And by dance, I don’t mean in the ‘leave enough room for the Holy Ghost’ kind. Anyway, I asked one of them for her number at the end of the night, and she told me she was straight and seemed so offended that I even considered her like that. Embarrassed doesn’t even begin to describe how I felt.”

“They were probably using you to keep other guys away, but that’s only supposed to be done with a friend or consenting person,” Hange explained. “That way no one is hurt or offended.”

“Is that what that was about?!” you exclaim, mouth hanging open. “I felt so confused for the longest and wracked my brain but kept coming up empty.”

“Unfortunately yes.

“On the topic of dating and such, do you mind if I ask what happened with Yelena?”

“I don’t mind. Yelena and I were off and on for the last few years but things got really bad since last summer. You know what they say about ignoring red flags when they’ve been there all along?”

“Yes, unfortunately.”

“Well, that happened. The last straw was coming home to find that she’d trashed my place and stole some of my things. The only reason she didn’t finish is because Levi has a key to my place and stopped by to drop off something and caught her in the act. He told her to get her shit and get out before he snapped her neck and buried her carcass where no one would ever find it.”

“Yeah, he seems like he can be scary.”

“Only if he doesn’t like you,” Hange says brightly. “He never did like Yelena but I didn’t listen to him. He turned out to be right when he said she was a selfish narcissist with a toxic personality. But you said the same thing happened to you?”

“Well, not exactly the same but the narcissist thing? Oh yes, only it was a friend. That’s sort of how I met Mikasa and Armin. I was friends with this girl and when I turned 21, she swore we had to go to a club and get shitfaced. Personally I hate the feeling of being so drunk that I want to puke, but she and her little clique thought that was the only thing to do on the weekend. Anyway, I got ditched because she wanted to hook up with some random guy.”

“What?! That’s horrible.”

“I know. What makes it worse is I was always the mom friend who stuck to one or two drinks or didn’t drink at all, only because I knew those idiots were going to get knee-walking drunk and end up needing to have their hair held back while they puked out their guts. Actually, that’s how I met Mikasa. She found me crying in the bathroom after I was sick and she helped me fix my makeup because by then, I looked like a raccoon. I ended up hanging with her and her friends the rest of the night and they made sure I got home safely.”

“That sounds like Mikasa,” Hange replied. “She and Levi are similar like that; they look like they’ll cut you but deep down they’re both very kind. Mikasa offered to help deal with the Yelena situation but I didn’t want her to get into trouble.”

“So is Mikasa into, err, the same things as you all?”

That makes Hange chuckle. “No, Levi would have a fit if she did anything untoward, but let’s just say Mikasa can hold her own. That’s the only reason Levi isn’t too worried about Eren; he knows if he were to try anything Mikasa would turn him into mincemeat but between you and me, I think Eren is okay. He’s young and a bit simpleminded, but he’s loyal and he’d kill someone if they tried to hurt Mikasa.”

“Yeah, I believe that but damn, I just wish Mikasa would focus on the time and not his cock when we’ve made plans to meet up somewhere.”

Hange laughs raucously and even though you were being serious, you end up laughing with them.

“I swear, I’m not bitter or anything,” you continue. “I couldn’t believe it when her stoic ass met him. It was like someone switched on a damn light or something. Everything was about Eren; Eren this and Eren that. But I tolerated it because I knew she was in love.”

“So what about you? When was your last relationship?”

“Freshman year of college, I think? Surprise, surprise, it didn’t last long. He had the nerve to be shocked when I got mad at busting him screwing his lab partner. You know what he told me? ‘Well I have to get it from somewhere’, all because I declined his gratuitous offers of blowjobs or quickies when his roommate wasn’t around.”

“He sounds positively charming.”

“He held all the charm of a public bathroom at a gas station along the freeway. And not a good gas station, but a no name one with stale shitty snacks that you can only find on that one freeway.”

“And the filthy bathroom with no toilet paper and a broken door.”

“Exactly. See? You get me.”

“I like you. And this sofa; it’s dangerously comfortable,” Hange says through a yawn. “If I don’t get up now I won’t make it home.”

“I mean, I’m definitely not in a hurry to kick you out,” you reply casually. “I take naps here all the time. Say the word and I’ll grab some pillows and blankets. I’ll even grab a tee if you want to get more comfortable.”

“Well, it’s not like I had anything pressing to do tomorrow. Sounds good, let’s do it.”

A glance down at both your outfits are an instant reminder of the cat café; you’re both covered in cat hair and it makes you laugh.

“Okay, what about a shower first?” you suggest, plucking one of the hairs off your shirt. “You can use some of my sweatpants; sorry in advance because I’m sure your ankles are gonna be sticking out.”

“I’ve got these so I’ll be fine,” Hange replies, pointing down to the stripy fuzzy sock and wriggling their toes.

After taking turns in your shower and changing into comfortable clothes, you and Hange are buried beneath your comforter on the sofa. You both get through fifteen minutes of a horror movie before falling asleep against one another, and when you wake up to the sound of screaming, you realize that you’re both lying flat on the sofa. At some point you began using Hange’s shoulder as your pillow but apparently they hadn’t minded, because they’ve got an arm slung around you. You wonder if you should move but decide you’re too comfortable and end up shutting your eyes.

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