#boromir in the brain lately

[sotwk]

Nowhere in canon is Boromir ever described as being particularly graceful or light on his feet, but istg every. time. I watch a scene of a dashing yet besotted gentleman sweeping around a ballroom floor with his partner, Boromir x Reader images and ideas come screaming for attention.

Not the graceful Elves or the jig-lovin' Dwarves. Boromir. The stern Man of Gondor. Boromir is the dancer, my brain has decided.

I've already written one into fruition (Breathe), and by Eru, there will probably be more. Ride that Dance of Romance trope to death, baby.

I apologize in advance but not really.

[hottpinkpenguin]

Perfect!!

I’ve read your Boromir fic (the first one I‘ve ever read) and it changed my brain chemistry. I can’t get it out of my head THE LONGINGGG

Could I humbly request an Aragorn x female reader fic where they are sparring or play fighting in a more private area and they land on top of each other? And it leads to a confession and smut/steam? I know, this trope is very original hehe

Could there also be some tension/ longing between them?  Or anything you have in mind, really I just want to see him hot and desperate 😭

I lᡣ𐭩ve your work and thank you 🫶🏻 Have a beautiful day 🥰

A/n: probably not my best work, Anon, but I hope you like it! I experimented with a slightly different narration style (rapidly switching back & forth between reader and Aragorn POV). I'm always astounded when ppl like my work so THANK YOU for reading and for the request <3 Word count: 1535 Content warnings: blood, implied smut, non-canon, steam, mutual pining

** Aragorn's POV | Reader's POV **

“Your weight is off balance, y/n.” 

You looked down at your feet reflexively, huffing in frustration as you realized he was right. Across from you, your sparring partner cracked the smallest of smiles. Graciously, Aragorn waited for you to fix your stance. You imitated him - lifting the arches of your feet slightly, your body weight suspended softly on the balls of your feet and your knees bent ever so softly. You shifted your hips in small circles around your feet, testing the surety of your new stance. It certainly felt better, but there was only one way to tell. 

“Better?” you asked, raising an eyebrow in question at Aragorn.

He missed y/n’s question entirely, his eyes hovering on her hips as she swung them softly side to side. He could just barely see a sliver of the soft flesh around her hips between the waistband of her trousers and the hem of her tunic. His mouth went dry at the sight, and at the thoughts that tore across his mind like sparks. 

“Aragorn?” 

Shit, she was talking to him. 

“Much better, yes.” Aragorn’s eyes seemed to shift in and out of focus, a strange pained look darting across his face as if you’d disturbed him from a dream. You knew that look - you’d seen it on his face ever since the Fellowship had left Rivendell some months ago. You felt silly for continuing to pine over him when his affections were so obviously spoken for. 

“Who were you thinking of, just then?” The question slipped out before you could catch it. 

He groaned internally. Had he really been that noticeable? You’re losing your touch, you old fool, he chastised himself harshly as he lifted his sword to line with y/n’s, studiously avoiding her gaze. 

You didn’t miss the way Aragorn’s eyes never met yours. It set your stomach churning on itself in embarrassment, but you forced your face to smooth. Even if you’d tried, you doubted you could draw your gaze away from his face, so handsome in his focus.

She’s looking straight at you. She knows, obviously. 

Aragorn felt his sword rise up and collide with y/n’s blade as she parried his stroke. The sudden rush of movement and strength felt good, like a wave washing his mind free of those pesky thoughts. 

Aragorn’s strikes were stronger than you were used to, and you instantly felt your recently reclaimed balance teeter dangerously. The mixture of distracting emotions and your off-kilter weight shattered your focus. You twisted your blade to block his lateral strike a second too late, and you felt the white-hot kiss of his blade dig into the muscles on your shoulder.

You hissed in surprise, trying to clear your mind from the blind of pain. 

He felt y/n hesitate across from him - a rare feat. She was unusually well-skilled with a longsword, and it was uncommon for there to be such a clear and decisive victor in their melees. If Aragorn had held his focus a moment longer, he would have noted the blood seeping from a fresh cut in her shoulder and the uncharacteristic weakness in her sword arm. But his mind was foggy from his pride’s close brush with humiliation, and it wasn’t until he collided full-force with her that he registered something had gone wrong.

One moment, you were blinking back the burning tears of unexpected pain, and the next you were resolutely pinned under Aragorn’s body. He managed to catch the back of your head deftly and gently to keep it from slapping off the frost-chilled ground. Your initial reaction was a gasp of surprise-

-y/n gasped in pain as he landed on top of her clumsily. Barely able to piece together what had happened, he began searching her body for signs of the injury-

-Aragorn’s face twisted into concern as he pulled back from you. Instinctively, you hooked a leg around his, pinning him against you-

-he was able only to pry his upper half off of her before he felt y/n’s leg grasp him against her, the sensation unlocking memories of dreams he’d found himself tumbling into each night ever since meeting her-

-you froze, your breath caught in your throat as you felt Aragorn stiffen against you. His gaze caught yours, that same pained expression you’d seen earlier flashing in his gray eyes like a reflection of sunlight on steel-

-his body went rigid, a sudden terror seizing him as he wondered if he was hopelessly misinterpreting the pressure of y/n’s leg locked around his hips, but before he could think-

-his lips were on yours, his hand moving from the back of your neck around to your throat and to the edge of your jaw. You felt him melt down against you, the stiffness in his spine softening until he was fully prone against you, his mussed curls tickling your cheeks and forehead as you reached up with your mouth, inhaling and tasting and devouring him.

Y/n let out a soft moan of contentment, the vibrations plucking a matching string in Aragorn’s desire. He dropped his sword, his free hand coming to her waist, gliding across the oiled planes of her leathers and the rough handspun wool of her tunic. His mind felt blissfully scattered, raw need catching like wildfire as it burned away the traces of conscious thought.

Each moment that the kiss deepened you felt yourself slip a little bit further away from control. His hands roamed freely across your body as you wriggled and writhed into his touch, eager to feel the pressure of his hands on every inch of your available skin. It wasn’t until he grazed over the still-stinging (but very much forgotten) cut on your shoulder that you hesitated.

Aragorn felt the tackiness of fresh blood catch on his fingertips as he grazed over her shoulder, accompanied a moment later by a reflexive wince from y/n. He broke from her embrace, glancing down at her shoulder, the beige of her tunic stained crimson.

“Gods above, what have I done?” 

You chuckled, unwilling to let Aragorn pull away fully. 

“Ignore it,” you commanded, greedily rising up to catch his lips again. He obliged, but you could sense that concern was dulling the edges of his enthusiasm. “It’s a small cut, nothing more,” you offered, hoping he would move on and attend to your other needs. 

He groaned in frustration at his own inability to ignore the wound, but Aragorn’s attentiveness to pain - your pain, above all - wouldn’t be silenced. He broke free from her lips with some difficulty long enough to inspect the wound. She was right - it was a minor, glancing blow. Nothing that would require stitching, but perhaps a bit of rest. And cleaning, he thought with a hint of smugness. 

You caught the way his lips quirked slightly as he poked softly at your wound. 

“What could you possibly be chuckling about?” you hissed, feeling put out by his unwillingness to dive back into the kiss that had sent you to the edge of fire. 

“Your wound, m’lady. It needs attention. A good cleaning, I think.” His eyes smoldered at the last few words, the tone of his voice tightening something deep in your core. You had to stifle a bark of delight when you finally grasped his meaning. He rose from the ground, brushing grass from the front of his trousers as he extended a hand towards you. You accepted it, letting him lift you lithely from the ground. 

Y/n’s desperate gaze was practically all he could focus on, but Aragorn steadied himself with a deep inhale as he cast a self-conscious glance around. Thankfully, the rest of the Fellowship was resting uneventfully among the rolling slopes of Rohan’s Westfold, and no one seemed the wiser to your brief interlude. More extensive companionship would require greater privacy, but he didn’t balk at the feeling of her fingers twining in his as they strode with a shared understanding towards his tent. 

“I thought-”

“Lady Arwen, yes. I know what you thought,” Aragorn cut you off softly, rubbing a reassuring thumb along the back of your hand. You were surprised to hear him speak of her without a note of longing. You looked toward him with questions. “Lady Arwen and I were raised together in Rivendell. I think of her as family, nothing more. The longing you sense in me is nothing more than homesickness.” 

Aragorn had been content to let the rest of the Fellowship misinterpret his closeness with the lady Arwen for romance, although he had always resented having to keep up with the ruse with y/n. It was true that she’d be safer without his affections painting a target on her back for their enemies, but in that particular moment Aragorn found it difficult to summon anything more than impatient desire.

You chewed on the inside of your lip as he lifted the flap of his tent. Although there was no luxurious steaming bathtub inside, you did notice a well-made cot laden with soft furs. With ample room for two, you thought warmly as you stepped inside, Aragorn following closely behind you…

[tathrin]

Many Lines Monday

Thank you very much for tagging me to share a wip snippet, @chthonion! I am elated by the chance to oblige.

This bit is from And In The Darkness To Unmake Them, my Celebrimbor-joins-the-Fellowship AU, which has run into a bit of a mental roadblock in a few places recently, so hopefully sharing a little of it here will help kick the brain back into gear!

One of the Riders nudged his mount forward, moving out a few steps in front of the rest. He sat at no great height, but his shoulders were broad—broader than most—and his grip upon his reins was casual and steady. The helm he wore was topped with a long pale horsetail, and his braids hung long and thick beneath it.

"And who are you," the Rider demanded, "to speak thus to us in our own lands? For you strangers are no Men of Rohan; indeed, I see that many of you are no Men at all! Who is to say that this burning was not done at your hands, and your words of Orcs and assistance now are but pretty lies to throw us off the trail? Speak! For the Men of Rohan do not lie; and thus are not easily deceived."

"That is well," said Elladan calmly, "for we do not intend to deceive you; nor do we mean harm to any good folk that dwell within Rohan, neither Horse nor Man. Nor are we all of us strangers: we have been in your lands before, my brother and I, although our last journey hither would have been very long ago indeed by your mortal reckoning."

"Indeed, although you may know us not, we know your folk well enough, Son of Rohan," said Elrohir. "For my brother and I fought in the battle that forged your kingdom, some several generations of your kindred previous. I am Elrohir of Rivendell, and this is my twin-brother, Elladan. Those we ride with are called the Grey Company, for their mail and raiment, and for their purpose also; and they are Elves and Men of the North: Rangers of the Dúnedain, and Elvish warriors of Imladris. We seek travel through your lands to Gondor."

The Rider eyed them suspiciously, and his men exchanged wary glances. "Your words are fair," the leader of their éored said after a long moment. "Yet we have oft heard fair words in the Riddermark of late, which have fouler means behind them. Have you any proofs which you can offer that your passage through our lands is to as innocent a purpose as you claim? And what, for that matter, is your purpose in riding so armed to Gondor, long our allies in both war and peace?"

"Their purpose is to return to my land with the answers for which I left to seek Rivendell, some several months ago," Boromir said, raising his voice before either brother could answer. "For I am Boromir of Gondor, son of Denethor, and I am riding home at last."

"Boromir!" Several of the Riders startled, and some leaned across their horses' necks to peer closer at his face. Boromir raised his chin and met their eyes, his gaze firm and unflinching.

The leader doffed his helm at last, and revealed a face that Boromir had seen before: strong, but weathered from sun and wind and long rides across the open plains; fair-haired like most of the people of Rohan, yet sporting locks that were less bright meadowflower-yellow and more of a dark cornsilk, sun-streaked and heavy in the light wind. The thin scar that marred the short beard that graced his chin was new, but there was no mistaking those deep brown eyes nor that strong wide nose. "Boromir!" he cried.

"Théodred," Boromir said, and bowed slightly from his saddle. "It has been some time."

"Some time, indeed!" Théodred exclaimed. "And yet I know your face well, Boromir of Gondor, and you are a welcome sight here in these dark times! I will tell you that when your horse returned without you, we feared the worst. I am glad to see now that our fears were meritless." Théodred's gaze flickered towards the Sons of Elrond, who watched their reunion with impassive grey eyes. "You say you have found the answers for which you sought?"

Tagging: @babybat98 @roselightfairy @bifuriouswaterbender @katajainen @realtacuardach and I'm not sure who's been tagged already because I haven't actually checked my dash yet this evening beyond Chthonion's (enthralling) post, so if you see this and haven't been tagged yet: consider yourselves tagged by me! And if you've already been tagged ignore me shh.

[scyllas-revenge]

20 Questions for Writers

Tagged by @lordoftherazzles and @i-did-not-mean-to (although compared to idnmt's 550+ fanfics this will look pretty sparse XD

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

14! One is a collection of a couple of short fics, the others are all stand-alones.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

204,153

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Tolkien, pretty exclusively. I don't know many other fandoms well enough to be comfortable writing in them for now

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Burn Like Cold Iron takes first place for everything as my only long fic. Then How to Cope with a Middle Earth Bed Shortage, What Could Possibly Go Wrong?, Customer Service, and A Helping Hand.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! There are a few here and there that slip through the cracks when I just don’t have enough spoons to reply, but I do my best!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I write happy endings as a rule lol, so this is tough. The closest to angst might be Burn Like Cold Iron just because it will have some bittersweetness thrown in alongside the happy ending, but I definitely wouldn't call it an angsty ending.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Considering most of my fic endings are pretty equally happy, my favorite is The Floor Is Molasses, because I just want Boromir to be happy and hanging out in the Shire.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

A few times on FFN in the past. I’ve been lucky enough to avoid it almost entirely on AO3. Which is good bc it does not take much to make me cry 😂

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have posted one (1) explicit fic and we shall NEVER SPEAK OF IT (I am easily embarrassed and it’s a miracle I posted it at all)

10. Do you write crossovers?

Nooooo, they've always intimidated me. Between all the canon characters and OCs I don't have room for anyone else!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Oof I hope not

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I would be honored!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I haven’t done much more than brainstorm with fandom friends about plot points and stuff. But it sounds like fun and I hope I can cowrite something with one of my much more talented mutuals someday!!

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I haven’t been super obsessed with a ship in years, so this is a tough question, especially since I’ve been focused on OC pairings lately. I’ve been pretty into Boromir/Theodred lately (but it’s such a tragic pairing and my poor heart can’t stand it), but hmm...my all-time favorite?? I'm a big fan of Nina and Matthias from Six of Crows, and Katniss and Peeta from the Hunger Games, and OOH Jaime and Brienne from Game of Thrones! There that's the one. All-time favorite. I did it. Phew.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I fully intend to finish my one ongoing WIP, Burn Like Cold Iron, and beyond that I really don’t want to start a fic I don’t think I’ll finish.

But I’ve written bits and pieces of a Middle Earth murder mystery I was really excited about, and I don’t have high hopes for actually fleshing that one out. I’ve never plotted out a murder mystery and would need to do some hardcore planning and plotting and scheming for it first and my brain is just not there right now XD

16. What are your writing strengths?

Aaahhh I am not good at complimenting myself (my therapist made me compliment myself last week and I almost cried lol) but I think I’ve gotten pretty good at writing engaging dialogue. I also am happy with a lot of my OCs, especially in my all-OC fic Something Burrowed, Something Blue, although I want to keep working at developing more complex characters in the future.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

My writing speed. I’m so slow. So so slow. Dear lord.

That and detailed plots and worldbuilding. Basically I need to brainstorm more before I start writing, and get a better sense for where things are going and how they'll turn out.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I could probably throw some Italian into a fic without much trouble lol. But Tolkien languages like sindarin honestly intimidate the hell out of me- I will jump through SO many hoops to avoid it. I am a coward

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Warrior cats. I was 12 and submitted it to my English teacher for extra credit. I had no shame 😂

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

It’s probably unfair to my other fics to say Burn Like Cold Iron since it’s so much longer than everything else I’ve written. So besides that one, probably What Could Possibly Go Wrong? I had fun exploring different characters’ points of view and sprinkling in lots of foreshadowing and dramatic irony for future plot points.

Tagging: @the-girl-with-the-algebra-book, @hobbitwrangler, @jaimehwatson, @frosticenow, @fishing4stars, @sotwk and anyone else who wants to play!

[ass-deep-in-demons]

I love Domhall Gleeson so much, you have no idea!!! 😱😍😭❤️ I was already super interested in your wonderfully conceived Derufin before, and now I'm even more determined to bring him into my AU with a significant role! With your permission, of course!

I know he's technically canon, but the character is one of those blank slates that makes him practically an OC (in my view, anyway). When you have the time, could you please give me an info dump of everything you've created for him, as much as you are comfortable sharing? If you don't mind! :)

And speaking of fancasting, is his father Duinhir played by Brendan Gleeson by any chance? 😂

PS. Have fun with BG3! I haven't played it myself, but my sister spent a solid amount of time being lost to that game too. So I understand the fixation. 😂

Thank you so much for sending this ask @sotwk! And thank you for your infinite patience, unfortunately my new job has been hectic so I've had to delay forming a replay, but HERE WE GO!

The second I read your idea about Brendan Gleeson being Duinhir it immediately became my canon also <3.

There are some things about the Derufin/Morwen/Boromir triangle that I've cut out from Under Our Darkening Skies.

"When Lady Morwen had first arrived in Minas Tirith, she had wasted no time to approach Boromir and subtly prodded him on his designs regarding marriage. He was, after all, the most sought after bachelor in Gondor. A bachelor still, in his late thirties, to his father’s eternal chagrin. In response, the Steward’s Heir equally gently had let slip that he had not been planning to take a wife, and she had quickly pranced off to the greener pastures that the City offered."

Because of Morwen initially setting her sights on Boromir (I mean duh), Derufin is still to this day reluctant to make his feelings for her known. He thinks Morwen still prefers Boromir. In reality Morwen's making a pass on Boromir back then had been dictated more by her youthful ambition than any real feelings for him or even any genuine regard. So, Derufin, grow a pair and just ask her out already!!!

Some more trivia:

Derufin's older brother Duilin is prone to brooding and melancholy while Derufin is the funny, carefree one.

Derufin's love for Lady Morwen is rivalled only by his love for his finely made and custom-decorated yew longbow - a gift from Lord Steward given for Derufin's knighting. He has, of course, named the bow after the Lady. Boromir groans loudly whenever he's reminded of it. Derufin is so so so cringe about his bow but also INSANELY good at archery.

Derufin is one of the few people who know about Boromir's fling with the Archivist. He found out accidentally (and has been wishing to erase the image from his brain ever since).

Derufin is actually not the only member of Boromir and Faramir's friend group from their youth. The "pack", aside from Boromir, Faramir, Derufin and Duilin, also included Hirluin the Fair (nicknamed Pretty Boy by Derufin). Faramir befriended Hirluin when he squired in under Hador, the Lord of Pinnath Gelin. Hirluin (who has as of 3018 TE succeeded his late father) is a ladies man and a party animal, so his friendship with Faramir is an unlikely one. However, their bond is strong because of the shared memories from their youth.

I dread what will become of these babies during the Battle of Pelennor. Just know that I am out od my mind and I can promise nothing :D

[borom1r]

Imma sauce you star-shaped crystal, giant shooky pillow, and handwritten poems

star-shaped crystal: have you ever been inspired by a dream? tell us about it

ooooo ok….. i mean theoretically im sure i have been, but i had a really long period of time where i didnt remember my dreams AT ALL. and now my dreams have either been 1) abt my real life actual human man crush, which i will Not be using for fic inspiration, or 2) extremely vivid yet equally extremely mundane. had a dream i got scared by a spider in the bathroom in like. horrifying Dream HD last night. i wish my brain could be useful 😭

giant bt21 shooky pillow: what’s the most warm and fuzzy scene in your wip? share an excerpt

MY ENTIRE CURRENT WIP IS WARM AND FUZZY, but here’s a lil bit that i haven’t already shown u skfjshdh:

“Well, you’ve certainly ruined the surprise!” Pippin declares, before Aragorn and Faramir can begin to react. “We were planning a nice picnic lunch to celebrate and surprise you with. I suppose you might as well know, since you walked in on us— which was very impolite, I might add.”

“I hardly walked in on you, you’re standing in the street!” Boromir’s attempt at remaining stern fails entirely, a warm grin dawning like the sunrise across his face. “What are we celebrating, anyhow?”

handwritten poems: what do you do when experiencing writer’s block?

just give it time, generally. ik how my brain + muse work and if i try to force things it isn’t gonna end Well. hence why the text game has been moving at a fucking snail’s pace— i have Monday off work, tho, so hopefully ill be able to make some good progress on it done over this long weekend ✌🏻

I’ve had a lot of Éomer thoughts lately, so fingers crossed I’ll be able to finish his route off over the weekend lol. i think Théo + Boromir’s routes are gonna be fuckin bears to finish (esp bc i still don’t have all the date ideas roughed out for Théo ☠️☠️)

if i give myself time to work on silly, low pressure stuff instead, eventually ill be able to knock out chunks of whatever i hit a block on in little bursts

[rarepairnation]

LOLL i was gonna start like ‘hey there im denethor anon’ but u beat me to it. SIMILAR MINDS. Haha i read one of ur fics, was immediately smitten & was like i MUST follow them. (I’m glad i did, love the vibe of ur blog and the Flavour of ur opinions.. TASTY) so im a more recent follower but i’m gathering younger you weren’t a fan of denethor, huh? Can’t say i blame you. PJ certainly made some Decisions. he was like how do i convert a complex character into The most loathsome creature ever. He really did our fav gondorians sooo dirty. I literally watch through those scenes SEETHING in rage.

So I’ve been Thinking about denethor and faramir and nothing else for two days. like i am a denethor girlie. in my mind. spiritually. haven’t posted much abt him on tumblr. but nowww. you’re exactly right, ‘denethor Is a good leader…[insert ur paragraph here]’ yes yes yes you get it. listen denethor was a prideful, angry, resentful man but he was also valiant, resilient and noble. He guarded his city, alone (which takes GUTS, again, he was a badass!!), so well, for literal YEARS that Sauron was fearful/wary of him. i wish people were more understanding of him. he’s such an interesting character there’s so much to explore there. as you said the duty-vs-love, the weapon-first-person-next of it all. the layers. denethor as a weapon. denethor as a symbol of both sword/shield. AAHHH

BUT i think some people dismiss him hate him bc he is the mirror (the ugly side? if that makes sense) of humanity, of us. we ought to show him some compassion tho ‘cause havent u ever been taken under the darkness of life? felt the world slipping away & struggle to keep up w it? dont u ever feel hopeless? that things will never change, no matter what u do? DO YOU HAVE FEARS HAVE YOU FACED THE MONSTERS? WERE YOU ALONE, SCARED AND HOPELESS? AND HAVENT YOU MADE MISTAKES IN YOUR GRIEF AND PUSHED PEOPLE AWAY?? THAT’S what denethor experienced. He was described as a leader & a learned one at that for christ sake. He knew that evil was awaiting him and his kin and his people! he saw his future. yet. yet he soldiered on until. war declared. his sons killed (or so he believed). that’s when hope abandoned him. what was the point of staying alive now anyway? Evil was upon them, they would surely be tortured w a fate worse than death, so why should he not end the pain and kill himself? he fought the war against Time, Evil and The Dark Enemy himself and WON. he was a brave man indeed, to have fought these dark forces so much stronger than him. but he finally lost the war against Despair (and Grief), the cruelest of them all. imma cry 😭😭😭 no no no u don’t understand he didnt give up hope, hope abandoned him he- [GUNSHOT] (i don’t know how much of this even made sense lmao) anyway,

Faramir <333. do i even have to say anything about faramir? he’s the specialest little guy i love himm 🥰. On god i am one step away from rereading lotr just for him (plsss dont tempt me finals are in less than a fortnight) his and denethor’s relationship like u described my godddd XDD. fucked up familial relationships MY BELOVED. i am feral about this trope. the resentment… the jealousy… the mirror image of each other… the you’re-the-same-like-me-and-i-hate-that… mmmhm. hey do u ever think about 12 year old faramir admiring his father much the same way he did boromir and wishing he would grow up to be just like him? and do you ever think about 28 year old faramir knowing that he’s more like his father than anyone else and hating that? hating him? i do.

I’ll stop now lol im afraid my coherency has diminished by now. also sorry sorry for replying so late i am preparing for my exams. but rest assured i WILL be Rotating faramir around in my brain :3

hiiii denethor anon LOL this is the greatest ask ive ever received. every day i endeavour to provide only THE juiciest of opinions. aka this is my diary and you all are subjected to it. anyway im so glad you liked my fic i would love to know which one you read! i got into lotr via the films when i was super young so my past opinions were def coloured by The Choices. i have learned and grown since then<3 i was watching the book-to-film analysis vids on the extended edition dvds a couple weeks back and it made me so mad that i had to get up and turn off the tv. did you know there are other character options besides 'paragon of virtue' and 'one dimensional villain'...truly kind of a "nice dichotomy idiot! now what lies outside of it" situation. A Waste Of Your John Noble, To Be Honest. idk i still hold the films very close to my heart but the choices...i will simply respectfully disagree. and dont even get me started on faramir we WILL be here all night. another time. i have denethor thorongil situationship-fic to write. (i am serious about that) (i was simultaneously playing it 100% straight serious AND kind of joking about them. i shouldve known better. well.........we are so in it.)

you are so real for this. i have ALSO been Thinking about denethor and faramir and nothing else for days. weeks, even. sorry to everyone coming to the faramir goes to rivendell au for faramir and the fellowship the first 10k is literally just Keeping Up With The Stewards. we'll get there. i Will blame you for the impetus for my recent denethorposting on main but also encourage you to also do this. do whatever you want forever<3 nooo but straight up...guy who has so much strength and will that The Lord Of All Evil wouldnt contend directly against him and had to bring out the big palantir guns to bring him down. and if he'd not lost both of his sons i mean...who knows what would've happened. sometimes your sons ARE the only thing keeping you from killing yourself Do It For Them-style and lets be real that is a valid coping method. (i don't have an answer for that one and boy oh boy do i wish i did. it is going to become a massive thorn in my side in, oh, 70k or so when i hit rotk. well...i will blow up that bridge when i get to it.)

im actually putting a read more in this time bc this post broke a thousand words. continue at your own risk. there IS also faramirposting at the end here i promise.

just imagining denethor leading the siege of minas tirith. um. now stay with me here...riding out with imrahil's sortie. STAY WITH ME HERE. what do you think the livery of a steward going to war looks like. jesus christ i need to go lay down. yes i purposefully placed the read more before i decided to go momentarily horny on main. its also lowkey very vague au spoilers. sorry everyone but denethor IS canonically hot and we need to acknowledge it. Anyway.

denethor as a weapon denethor as both a sword and a shield...i am chewing glass for real. you GET IT. god i love person-as-weapon metaphor soooo much. When The Iconography Is Getting A Little Too Real. denethor as gondor, as her vanguard and standard-bearer and. i am straight up frothing at the mouth. all he ever wanted was to be a gentle lord in a time of peace.....and death was his reward...Sorry For Stealing The Fingon Death Quotation But I'm Right. so much of his behaviour and the strain on his relationships with his sons and all that is sooo...informed by the fact that to cope with having to be lord of a country at war he had to be so so unbending. he couldn't allow himself to waver, ever, not even for love, not even to save his sons.

did you know he was 21 when sauron returned. pov you are 21 years young and you have been alone all your life you are the steward's only son you are his strange numenorean heir and no one else has the LITERAL PSYCHIC POWERS AND VISIONS that you do and you have had to contend with that, alone. master your own mind, alone. learn how the shape of politics and lordship and life bends around you. and the dark lord the enemy who brought down your forebears has now set his eye on your lands again. Jesus Christ. How Would You Fucking Deal. sorry i would have a nervous breakdown and go and live in the desert. Man. TWENTY ONE? LIKE ME? most days i feel like a teletubby with a job and a credit card. if you scale it to account for numenorean lifespan inflation i mean i don't know how the math works but like. i bet it comes out to being like. 17. HELLO? basically everyone i know was barely a person at 17. the dark lord of all evil and he's MY problem to deal with?

i mean exactly. haven't we all been prideful and angry and resentful. haven't we all been there. once again [pippin voice] let's all understand poor denethor a little better. havent you ever been taken under the darkness of life [your paragraph here] yeah exactly what you said. the idea that he fucking won the war against the darkness and only lost to despair is..........so much! goodbye i have to go cry!

faramir, me AND fate's most special precious little guy....oh captain my captain....exactly. Exactly. i cant morally endorse a reread right this second but like. After. make it through finals and then it is Faramir Time. (and good luck! you got this!) tactical smartass little bitch master of both man and beast wizard's pupil (complimentary) star and hope and jewel of minas tirith knight in shining armour...my beloved. the idea that like faramir as presented, as the diplomat, as the scholar, as the numenorean, was supposed to be the one to go to rivendell...it haunts me. where is denethor sends the right son to do the right job.txt. he is gondor's no. 1 horse girl he is better suited to the wild than the battlefield he has read every sindarin text in the library he KNOWS the story of elrond and elros. he is literally telepathic and psychic and prophetic. thinking about him interacting with elrond and galadriel (and every other elf. but them in particular) makes me feel deranged. its very...self taught dnd wizard meets guy who went to wizard school energy. he's insane.

YEAH ITS CRAZY THAT THEYRE THE SAME GUY. it's. boromir gets to be boromir but faramir has to be denethor.txt. gracious and lordly as a king of old...now who is consistently referred to as noble and kingly...that a younger faramir would've looked up to...yeah. the perpetuation of denethor's second-best complex. i have a whole nother post in the drafts about that i CANT get into it here but jesus christ men who are NOT breaking the cycle. they even look the same. i mean 37 year old faramir as steward is 100% the spitting image of his father and that makes me....genuinely fucking insane actually. i mean like older councillors are doing double takes every time he walks by. i mean like sometimes people call him by the wrong fucking name. WOW where did that come from. the complex that that would give him...hello? turning this over inside my brain at WARP speed.

you are not late at all lol we are leaving little letters in each other's mailboxes to read when we have the time. i hope your exams go well!!! there will be more Faramir And Denethor Hours soon<33

[entishramblings]

You wrote it!!! Thank you! What a lovely way to start the new year. I had an idea for the story that I wanted to send in. If you don't mind me sending a long ass ask then sweet! As a fellow writer I can't help but imagine further. I apologize if this is annoying I just didn't want this idea to rot in my brain. I don't have enough space as is���.

I imagine boromir talking to another high ranking official from another land. Someone who had come to minas tirith for business with the king. Boromir asks about about the bone he found and is told something quite different than what iwar had told him.

" It seems you have been marked my friend, but not for death." The unamed Captain clarified with a smirk. Before boromir could respond he was cut off. " Do you know who else received a gift of bone?" " King Peleus of Thetis, King Arthur of Númenor. Both were gifted by the sea something quite powerful." The Captain continued, never taking his eyes off the whale that boromir placed in his hand. Boromir felt an unidentified feeling grow in the pit of his stomach. " Power? What gift do you speak of?" Boromir questioned.

The Captain chuckled at the younger man's eager curiosity. " A son. They were both gifted sons, stronger than the waves of the sea and wiser than the stars. Sons who grew into men that lead undefeated armies. They took back stolen land and made new life out of death." Boromir stood in shocked silence. He couldn't believe the words coming from this Captain. It's not possible. Yet, what else could it be? The Captain walked to boromir, placing the bone back into his hands. " It it a very lucky thing to happen. It will not last long, and you may never get this chance again. I suggest you take what you can before it's too late." The Captain finished forebodingly.

"What must I do? How do I know it's not too late?" Boromir nearly begged. He asked desperately for the wisdom that was beyond him. The Captain stopped in his path. " People of the sea cannot stay out of water forever. They must return before the moon turns full. Find a sea cave before their last night and wait for them. They will ask you what it is you desire. You can wish for money, or power, even revenge if it is what you wish. Or you can ask for a son like the others before you, and bring your land unfathomable glory." Boromir nodded. Before he could turn to find his way he was stopped.

" I must warn you young man, if you choose this there is no going back. Women of the sea are quite possessive. They do not give easily, once you do this you will be hers. From now to the day of your death. Their vengeance knows no bounds. You will never be able to find another." The Captain gave his final warning before disappearing into the winding corridors of the castle. Boromir felt as if his heart would beat through his chest. His mind heavy with indecision.

OH MY VALAR—

someone wrote a mini fic about one of my fics

I aM sHriEkiNg LiKe a nAzGûL!!!

Anon, you are so fucking precious! I love to see how creative minds work and have different beautiful ideas! The fandom community makes me so happy!!

I do, however, already have the next chapter all planned out and outlined—BUT THIS ASK GAVE ME SUCH EXCITEMENT!!

brb as I fangirl over you

<3

[mimbotomy]

10 characters/10 fandoms/10 tags

tagged by the amazingly talented @aeide!

Kassandra (AC Odyssey): Let’s be honest, did anyone who follows me expect anything else? In a game full of amazing characters I adore, she will always reign supreme in my heart 🩷

Mimir (God of War): I love you and your stories, you funky little head.

Percy Jackson & Annabeth Chase (PJO): I can’t separate them here or in my heart! Friends to lovers supremacy! Two friends, one brain cell! Nicknames! AHHHHH!

9th Doctor (Doctor Who): I’ve been rewatching relevant episodes of 10s’ run to catch myself up for the 60th anniversary specials but I keep going back to 9s’ run because as much as I love 10, there’s just a sense of wonder in that first season with 9 and Rose that is just so incredible.

General Olivier Mira Armstrong (Fullmetal Alchemist): She can stab me any day 😍

Shawn and Gus (Psych): kinda like Percy and Annabeth, I can’t separate them! They are the definition of ride or die best friends, the gold standard we should all strive for IMO.

Nyx (Hades): Such a fascinating character! Her motives never seem totally clear but her love for her children, Zagreus included, is perhaps her defining character trait.

Boromir (LoTR): He’s not always my favorite character from Tolkien’s work, because Samwise motherfucking Gamgee exists, but I think he is by far the most fascinating and tragic. I know a lot of people love to hate him for trying to take the ring, but IMO those people are missing the love and responsibility he has for his people and his fear for their survival.

Rosa Diaz (Brooklyn 99): I don’t think she’s my favorite character on the show, RIP the late great Andre Braugher and his amazing portrayal of Captain Holt, but she has a special place in my heart because watching her coming out story helped me realize that I was bisexual too!

Stephen Colbert (the Colbert Report): this one might be a cop out but he's definitely playing a character there and the Colbert Show was my third favorite show growing up (following Animal Planet’s Crocodile Hunter and the Most Extreme for more insight on what a weird little kid I was) and it had a huge effect on my humor, my politics, and the way I saw and approached the world.

As always, I'm sure everyone I would tag has already been tagged, but if not and you see/want to do this, consider yourself tagged and let me know for the future!

[i-did-not-mean-to]

X - XOXO

Ah, it's the teacher AU.

@laurfilijames, @lordoftherazzles, @linasofia here is the monstrosity that has grown roots in my silly brain!

Words: 2 k (yes, I know, I am sorry)

Characters: Thorin, Fíli, Ori, Boromir, Legolas

Warnings: It's a Modern!AU, it has too many plot points, and it's entirely idiotic

“We have to do something,” Aude declared confidently, leaning over the rickety cafeteria table. “I can’t watch that poor man suffer like that.”

Boromir frowned; he was not the kind of young man who liked to meddle in other people’s love affairs, mainly because nothing could fool him into believing that he was managing his own very well so who was he to help someone else?

“I’m in,” Legolas hooted—he, on the other hand, was a kid who loved meddling and he was not above trying to give one of his favourite teachers a boost.

“Let’s say,” Aude interrupted his effervescent joy pragmatically, “we set the concert as a deadline. By the time we go on the excursion, I want melting gazes and seemingly accidental touches to be the standard. Are we agreed?”

Their little ragtag group of friends did not dare disagree with her when she got into one of her organisational moods and so, they simply nodded and started planning their devious machinations.

It had all started earlier that day.

While they had been a close-knit class for a few years, the teaching staff responsible for them had changed this semester—much to the chagrin of Boromir and Legolas.

Their new foreign languages teacher was a frightening lady, crackling with intensity, and her rather harsh methods had given them quite a jolt in the beginning.

Thus terrified by the educator who was unfortunately also responsible for the choir part of their annual concert, they had been considerably confused by the unusual reaction of their trusty, beloved English teacher when said Xanthippe had knocked on the door to inform them that choir practice would start a little late due to some unforeseen scheduling issues.

As the school was indeed much like a family and the teachers were known by their first names, the youngsters—first and foremost, eagle-eyed Aude—had had no qualms whatsoever to tease Mister Ori about his bashful blush at the sight of the newcomer.

After all, for the longest time, the rumoured dalliance between Mister Fíli—giving workshop classes—and their gym teacher Miss Rena had been the only source of gossip the voraciously inquisitive minds of the youngsters had fed on.

Consequently, it was totally unsurprising that they pounced on this new knot of tension like starved hyenas as soon as they got the first whiff of it.

“Boromir?” Aude leaned over while the flustered English teacher ran after the bits of chalk he had dropped in his nervous haste. “Your brother is in the theatre group, right? We need to have a meeting over lunch—I think Mister Ori has a crush on the dragon-lady.”

Grimacing as the extent of Aude’s plan dawned on him, Boromir thought that—by the time she and Legolas were done plotting—they’d have Miss Libby serenade their mousy, distracted, touchingly kind English teacher.

As he leaned back and gave Mister Ori a compassionate smile, he had to admit to himself that he couldn’t wait to witness the trainwreck those hellish women would bring upon as many poor, unsuspecting, soft-hearted men as they possibly could.

“They’re coming along nicely,” Rena sighed as she wiped the back of her neck with a soft towel. “I wonder if the new economics teacher will attend.”

“Hmmm?” Libby looked up from the piece of paper that had made its way mysteriously into the stack of lyrics she distributed and collected diligently at the beginning and end of every choir practice. “I think the headmaster has invited her personally, so yeah, it would be rather rude not to come and clap politely.”

“Politely?” her friend and colleague, who was responsible for the dance act, asked pointedly. “I am convinced of the talent and skill of my group. Do you have qualms about yours?”

“Not in the least,” Libby denied weakly. “Here, look at this, do you know what this is?” She held out the intruder amongst the bent and worn pages in her hand accusingly.

After taking a single look at it, Rena chuckled wryly. “Yes, I do, and so do you.”

Even though polite and supportive, Rena didn’t lose time pretending and dissimulating—especially not at this time of night, alone in the auditorium.

“It’s a page out of the play they’re putting on,” she muttered, inspecting the page more carefully now. “And there is a note in the margin saying ‘Meet me in the teacher’s lounge tomorrow at 15 o’clock. XOXO’. I wonder what that is about…”

“Well, it surely wasn’t meant for me,” Libby dismissed the whole thing frantically; already, she sorely regretted having shown this awful missive to her friend.

From day one, Rena had been a much-needed and trusted ally in Libby’s awkward navigation of a completely new school where everyone seemed to know one another from birth; thus, she merely ducked her head and didn’t contradict.

“Lib, it’s not from or for one of the students; they have no access to that room. Moreover, there is no other member of the teaching staff scheduled to be in the auditorium today. If it was meant for anyone, it was meant for you!”

Setting the piece of paper aside carefully, Rena stalked towards her friend on her long, nimble legs. “I’ve heard through the grapevine that you’ve interrupted class today.”

Scandalised, Libby denied having done anything even remotely disruptive.

“What grapevine? Did you hang out with Fí again? He’s one of the only teachers they had this afternoon.” Libby narrowed her eyes—at her previous post, nobody had ever taken such a vivid interest in the lives and proclivities of their peers, and she was not entirely sure that she liked being the subject of gossip.

“Oh no,” Rena grinned, “it’s much more interesting than that. So, the new economics teacher has complained to the headmaster—she is in that office all the time, I swear—that the class was being particularly unruly today. So, Thorin goes to check on the class while they’re walking over to Fíli’s and guess what he overheard?”

Libby waved her hand with as much nonchalant indulgence as she could feign.

“Apparently their English teacher has had a visit from—sorry for the wording—the Dragon-lady and the poor man—bless his soul—didn’t manage to get back his focus for the rest of the lesson. Isn’t that interesting?”

“I…” Libby started and then relapsed into petulant silence; those miscreants were lucky that she had not learned about this before choir practice.

“Do you deny it?” Rena was having entirely too much fun with this.

“No, I don’t. Now, dear, your petty narration does not explain how Fíli’s knowledge was imparted to you though, does it?”

“Ah,” the amazingly brazen Amazon purred, “we were having a little chat in the courtyard…about maybe joining the excursion. I surmise that you’ll be there to chaperone and hound the kids?”

Nodding tersely, Libby waited to see where her friend was going with this.

“Maybe, whoever wrote you this note also only wants to talk about the excursion?”

“As what you call ‘talk about the excursion’ seems to be code for another word containing the letters ‘e’ and ‘x’ in that order, I highly doubt that,” Libby hissed.

“I wish…” Rena grinned; she had much more knowledge than she led on, but—as a trained and experienced athlete—she knew that sometimes, one had to pace oneself if one wanted to make it across the finish line. “So, was it strictly necessary for you to go and startle poor Ori?”

Swallowing fitfully, Libby tried to mobilise the brusque façade behind which she habitually hid her own insecurities. “I had no way of knowing that he’d be that upset by a minor interruption; it’s not as if I knew him well—he seems to avoid me as much as possible.”

Hopping onto one of the props and crossing her legs slowly, Rena leaned towards her friend. “He’s a local boy, Ori, I mean. Fíli talks about him a lot.”

“Ah,” Libby interjected with a knowing smile. “Why are you telling me this? It’s highly unlikely that the one colleague who seems to profoundly and viscerally dislike me would invite me to a meeting, isn’t it?”

“I don’t think he dislikes you,” Rena jeered, “but—in the name of friendship—I’ll investigate a little deeper. By the way, do you mind him terribly?”

“Rena,” Libby sighed, “I would not have chosen his class to burst into if I did not enjoy his blundering, stammering sweetness at least a tiny bit.”

Nodding her head sagaciously, Rena gave her a provocative smirk. “I’ll see what Fíli can tell me about it…”

“Hey Thorin,” Fíli grinned as he passed the new economics teacher, a truly handsome lady, on the threshold of their headmaster’s office.

“We’ve come to sign up for the excursion,” he announced with a flourish, dragging Ori in by the sleeve of his sempiternal woollen cardigan like a reticent child.

“You’re too old and I am quite pleased with the results Miss Libby is achieving,” Thorin replied sternly. “I’d rather not overtax the woman in her first year at our school with having to oversee that many hormone-fuelled savages.”

Fíli laughed. “Fair,” he admitted, “but I’ve come to offer my services as a chaperone, yes, that is quite right. Me. I’ve even convinced our resident homebody to pack his seven cardigans in various shades of beige and join us. Wouldn’t the presence of the best English teacher be a monumental advantage?”

Thorin paused and pondered that assertion for a long, silent moment before nodding slowly.

“It’s funny,” he then said in a low, languid voice, “you’re not the first to volunteer for the least sought-after extracurricular activity of this year. Though the other two were ladies of course. Seems like we’re well-matched then—the poor students won’t know what hit them.”

“How so?” Fíli asked immediately, his face gleaming with interest and curiosity.

“The new economics teacher and Miss Rena have volunteered as well.”

“The gym teacher?” Ori squeaked, visibly cowed by that idea.

“Well yes, Miss Libby was the first to sign up and Rena thought that she had to keep an eye on the new girl for fear that she’d get cannibalised by our students.”

With a throaty chuckle, he turned his attention back to the papers on his desk, signalling that this interview was at an end and that he had other matters to attend to.

“Aren’t you off now? Care to go over to the bakery and have a coffee?” Fíli asked his colleague who was dragging his feet as they made their way back down the administrative wing of the school building. “I would very much like to know why the mere mention of the Foreign Languages teacher makes you break out in nervous hives; I’ve known you all your life, my boy, and I know when something is up!”

“Erm…” Ori stammered. “I found a note among my papers of yesterday that told me to come to the teacher’s lounge at 3.” “A note? Do you know from whom?”

Ori shook his head miserably; there had been no person who could have slipped a note pertaining to that kind of meeting other than Miss Libby. She had been in his classroom the previous day—she had stood so close to the desk that he had been able to smell her dizzying perfume and unfortunately, he had truly not paid any attention to what she had been doing other than crowding him.

Secretly, he so desperately hoped that it was indeed her who wanted to see him—even if it was about the class, or toilet paper, or the weather—but he didn’t dare believe it, especially as the note was signed “XOXO” which didn’t seem to be her style at all.

“Well, how about you see what it’s all about and I’ll wait in the bakery?”

Ori looked past his friend through the high window front to see the gym teacher sprint across the street to said locale and he understood.

“Yeah sure,” he acquiesced kindly, “see you later.”

Muttering to himself to be brave and firm, Ori entered the teacher’s lounge…and promptly collided with his most dreaded colleague.

@fellowshipofthefics I am so sorry for this whopper.

Lots of love from me though

-> Masterlist

[inkedmoth]

On Swift Wings plot talk, mainly me talking to myself in a bid to figure out if I want to re-write a massive chunk of the fic, or if I want to keep it the same

Spoilers? Technically??

OKAY SO for this we're fast forwarding to Dunharrow and the Paths of the Dead and what I want to do with it (just for perspective I've just posted the entrance to Lothlorien and have written up to the destruction of the ring)

now what I CURRENTLY have written is that Rhos and Boromir join Aragorn and Co. as they seek out the ghosts, tackle the corsairs, and rock up fashionably late to the siege of minas tirith. However, for the Paths of the Dead, she and Boromir are just kinda... there. They don't really do or contribute or change much, so I had plans to go through and update/change/improve that anyway.

But what if they don't join on the Path of the Dead?

There's a scene I really want to keep at Dunharrow which originally happened in tangent to Elrond rocking up, BUT what if Elrond's arrival triggers Rhos' (and by extension, Boromir's) own path to Minas Tirith? (but what does he tell her that makes Rhos go 'oh shit' and book it for MT?? did he get a vision?? I need to work on this)

There's also a very specific series of events at Minas Tirith that I want to keep pretty much the same. So trying to time their different arrival with the old threads of the story could be a pain. it also brings up other problems, like if the armies of mordor are on the doorstep how did they get into the city? Do I have Boromir reach his father in time to save Faramir? How does THAT family reunion go, since in my original chapters it goes BADLY? What impact does Boromir's arrival have on their own troops? AAAA

I think I DO want to change to this version, but figuring out all the details is the bit that's going to trip me up I can feel it. but with having just posted chapter 18 and all this happening in chapter 50ish I don't need to panic just yet but I DO need to figure this out.

(it also means deleting (archiving) three chapters which is never fun)

just gonna have to rotate this in my brain like a rotisserie chicken

[valandhirwriter]

@do-androids-dream-ao3acc - How can I not be greedy when you write so well? I would have offered the same for you, but I too will answer all of your questions.

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?

That's a bit of a weird story. In the late 90ies I had just re-read Dumas Musketier Saga (The three Musketiers / Twenty Years After / The Vicomte de Bragelonne) and right at the end of the last book was a moment that annoyed me. It was the accusation against Louise, that her failing to love Raoul had caused his death. I honestly disliked that assertion, the boy had gotten himself killed in my opinion. And I wanted someone in that scene, to actually say it, but all canon characters possible for it were already dead. And then my mind jumped back to the first book, to d'Artagnans ill-fated little affair amoureuse with Mylady de Winter. And suddenly a firework ignited in my brain, connecting the idea of a son of that affair, to a story, that would end up with him being there, and speaking up. It was my first full flung fanfic (about 100k) and it was bad. I recently found it again and it wasn't any good. Though I got some praise for it, weirdly. And that whole thing started me, continuing to a few BG2 stories, Star Wars Snippets, and other smaller stuff until a number of years later the big stories came along.

🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

@regis-favorite-raven because I will need an alibi and she's close enough to give one, you, because I will need some fun and gruesome idea of how to get rid of the body.

🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both?

I don't really do reader inserts, it's one thing I have tried and cannot really do.

I love OCs though, because they allow us to cast light into corners of the fictional world, we do not get to see with the canon MCs. I also believe that taking some minor minor canon char and writing him much bigger is often a good way to have an OC that people do not recognize as an OC, because at least the name was invented by the Author.

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

I am convinced that Emhyr is quietly jelaous, knowing that Eskel and Geralt were lovers in the past. This head canon can easily apply to Emralt and to Emhyr/Eskel. In both scenarious there would be that significant other from the past and Emhyr's drive to prove that he is the much superior choice.

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

I still think Ciri was a coward, leaving her people to Nilfgaard's tender mercies, instead of at least trying to use her position, and Nilfgaard's wish to legitimize the conquest, to negotiate for either vassal status, or for becoming a province under her leadership. She could have spared her people a lot of suffering. The fact that she doesn't even care or make the effort, is highly selfish and cowardly to me.

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

The different type of Hammermills (Hammerwerk), for refining and creating sheet metal. Along with other details of old mining techniques, that I needed to describe dwarven settlements.

Second would be researching the odd ends and details what Tolkien had said about the nature of the Silmaril.

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

I have a mile of AUs in my head that I would love to read. But one that I always wanted, was a good Aragorn/Boromir romantic story running parallel to LotR events, and NOT going for the Boromir dies/vanishes in Amon Hen, but actually has him continue as a character on, through the rest of the Ring War. Bonus Points for their romance not being doomed from the start. Good character exploration between them would give more bonus points. (A certain amount of Boromir whump would also be okay). Authors - those I'd love it from left writing/fandom a long time ago, so I'd take it from whomever does write well enough.

🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate

I rarely hate characters but I have a strong dislike for some of them. Some I do despise. Let's take one of those.

Cersei Lanister from Game of Thrones: 1. She loves her children truly and would do anything to protect them.

2. She has the guts to preservere in a male dominated society.

3. She is not at least intimidated by Daenerys Targaryen.

For the record: Cersei and Dany sit in the same bucket with me, I dislike them both.

🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

Ser Arthur didn’t deign to rush or try to prevent him from running. “I shall believe what you did was your last desperate attempt to save your liege lord,” he observed, speaking in the lilting accent of the South. “The ill deed of a man willing to sacrifice his own honour so that another may live.”

☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username?

Valandhir and Cardhwion both are names coming from stories or games´. Cardhwion was my Bhaalspawn in BG2, and Valandhir was a Numenorán character, erroneously believed in later history of having been the living man who later became the Witch King of Angmar. He's from a story I began writing, which actually played around with the alleged backgrounds of Nazgul and historical errors in the records.

🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it

. Why do I like it? Because looking at it sparks an entire story in my brain.

Quelle: sin-vraal.deviantart.com

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

Stories starting with dialogue, or starting without giving me a sense where the story is set, or what the heck is going on. I don't mind having to read to get all the context, but a story where the first scene starts confusing and somehow like a few parts before are missing, make me click away.

Stories that have almost only dialogue will make me hit the return button.

Stories with too short chapters , where I can see the chapter end, while still being at the beginning, have a chance that I won't even start reading.

Genderbenders have a hard time with me. I almost never read them.

I love this truth or dare ask game, but having learned my lesson, I will ask the authors I like directly. :)

Tag whomever you like or are curious about.

I am curious so here are my questions. My "dare" in case you dislike answering will be a story for one of my favourite pairings. ;)

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help? 🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both? 🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings 🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character 🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project? ❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best? 🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate 🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here ☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username? 🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it 🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

Writing your favorite pairings? Don't get greedy girl, I basically just gave you romantic garden sex! (Also you KNOW I will answer anything because I love that and I love procrastinating) 😂

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?

Just like that. I don't remember how I got into it back in the 90s, but in 2020, I got into it because I liked some Emralt stories so much, I thought, "Hey, maybe I can do that, too."

🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

Probably @deagle. She'll know what to do because she's seen it in a movie with Sabin Tambrea 😂

🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both?

Weeeeeell. Might be one of my OCs is a tiny bit like myself. But in general, I don't do reader inserts a lot.

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

I'm convinced Buck didn't tell Tommy about the sperm donor thingy yet, and it will become a major issue between them for whatever reason.

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

I still think his bachelor party behavior was absolutely out of character for Eddie. I know the fandom theories, but I disagree.

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Maybe the kind of injuries you get from either falling of a certain height and from being shot with a .45

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

I will fail you... still obsessed with the song, so I'd love to see the topic of the seemingly infallible fail to rescue their loved one. Not necessarily resulting in MCD, though. Don't care which pairing, don't care who'd write it. It's juicy.

🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate

Listen, I don't hate characters. That's stupid, they're not real. I admire writers of any kind if they make me feel things about a character, even if it's repulsion. But wait, we have Gerrard in the coming season. Nobody likes Gerrard... are there 3 good things about him? Let's see. He's old, so he might just die soon. He screams at Buck, that might get him in trouble. He's jealous, so he might make a mistake. I think those are good things 😂

🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

Yes, ma'am! Not edited.

“Who killed my father, Pablo? Was that you?”

Carlos pushed himself away from the car’s wreckage and fixed Pablo with his gaze. 

"Me? Oh boy, I don't cross the border so easily these days, you know? And certainly not to get some old guy out of the way. I've got my men for that.“

☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username?

I love Dick. Philip K. Dick, that is 😂

🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it

There are so many, you know I love all the fanart I ever commissioned or got as a present. But today, I'd like to say this piece by @johix (sorry, if you don't want me to put it directly in a post please tell me!) I just love it.

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

Usually, two breaks after a paragraph throughout the whole fic. Or when the fic turns out differently than expected, because I often don't read tags and I rarely read things like MPREG and stuff.

THANK YOU! This was fun. I'll throw the same questions right back at you.

[ainu-lindale]

Just some lil' Observations During My 17 Billionth Rewatch of Fellowship of the Ring

Okay so in the prologue, for some reason I never paid attention to how many active verbs are used to describe what the ring does and how it goes about it's lil life. I don't often think about the powers and personality of the ring very much, I'm usually to distracted by my love for frodo ha

"It is no bad thing to celebrate a simple life." Love love love that, somehow never really heard that line before.

Uh oh. I'm becoming that person that unconsciously quotes all the lines as they're spoken.

I wonder if bilbo would've been a different old man if he hadn't had the ring in his pocket for decades

Tbh I am very impressed that bilbo just dropped to ring and walked out. Obviously it took some help by gandalf but still, to be able to leave it behind after all that time. Such a comforting thought to my poor little heart that hates to think about how long the Martin Freeman bilbo was slowly poisoned by the ring

Yall. When I was a kid the black riders gave me nightmares, and now they are like 0% scary

I've related to different characters over the years, but u know what I'm realizing that maybe I'm sam. bc I too would walk to the ends of the earth for frodo baggins.

Dear lorddd. That seduction of the ring theme - the one that plays at the v beginning of their journey as they're walking through the tall clovers and weeds under the trees - gives me chills every time. The use of voices in howard shore's score is MAGNIFIQUE

"If I take one more step it'll be the farthest away from home I've ever been". Have any of yall seen the 9 hour version of the movie that plays that clip every time sam takes a step?😂😂

Am I upset that they replaced merry and pippin's dedication to frodo and the journey in the books with comedic relief stealing-the-crops stuff? Overall not much. I think they get the characterization they deserve over the course of the movies. Ppl can just chill and let the movie be a movie. Tbh we need some comedic relief from this very stressful epic

Am I upset they cut tom bombadil? Also overall no. Again, for the sake of the movie, they gave us some stress relief with merry and pip and streamlined the journey to bree enough to where an extra stop for some reprieve wasn't needed. Dont get me wrong, it's a lovely part of the book, but I agree with the directorial choices to keep the movie's energy up

THE REFLECTION IN ARAGORN'S EYES WHEN HE LIGHTS THE PIPE. CINEMATIC MAGIC. also I'm just generally attracted to him anyway.

Me anytime viggo says or does anything:

Arwen's sword under aragorns chin is THE best introduction to our first legit female character I could ask for

OH MY GODDDDDDD. I think it's probably Elijah's hobbit-height double that viggo is carrying to the horse, and dear God that mask on him is so freaky looking 😂😭😂 Never ever seen that before

One thing I am just ever so slightly salty about is that they had the council of elrond be summoned to determine the fate of the ring rather than everyone coming on their own accord with their specific knowledge to lead to the collective realization that they are exactly the right group of ppl to form the fellowship

For the rest of my life, I am doomed to only think of the LOTR How It Should Have Ended during the council of elrond scene. 12 year old me really screwed herself by watching the same 5 YouTube videos on endless repeat

The solo French horn that plays the gondor theme while boromir is speaking is so subtle but increeeeeeeedibly powerful. It's just different enough from the other themes introduced so far that for that moment it takes me so much deeper into the world of middle earth ??

Just noticed the wink between gandalf and elrond when aragorn offers to help frodo. Their last conversation ended with "he turned away from that life long ago. He has chosen exile" and now aragorn is giving up his preferred solo life for the sake of frodo and for the world. Look how the turntables, elrond

Boromir's lil "sorry!" when he accidentally cuts Merry's hand 😭

"Boromir! Give the ring to frodo!" "As you wish." Boromir loves aragorn

The humans carrying two hobbits at a time to keep them safe from the snow😭😭😭

Literally Gandalf can you please just tell frodo that there is a balrog down in moria!!! This is not informed consent!!!!

Lake monster outside moria = aquatic sarlacc

We as a Society™️ need to spend more time listening to gandalf's words to frodo while chilling in moria

The chanting during the chase in khazad dum gives me similar vibes as the "track down this murderer" voices at the end of phantom of the opera. ..uh oh so I'm getting too tired to elaborate on my thoughts

I've watched Gandalfs 'death' too many times that it's not the fall itself that makes me cry anymore, but it's frodo's reaction outside that gets me now. Also the soprano voice singing (renee fleming?)

Oh my god I just heard for the first time boromir's line in lorien "i did not see it", referring to Galadriel telling him there's still hope for his people. That's the same thing he says right before he dies and I finally understand what he meant. He tried to take the ring from frodo bc the ring overwhelmed him completely with a sense of despair, convincing him that using the ring was their only option to survive. And oh my gosh it's how galadriel knew that boromir was going to try and take it. She knew he had lost hope. Wow it took me waaay too long to catch that. It's the specificity of it all that I didn't catch, not necessarily the fact that boromir thought the ring was the only way

Boromir's death hit different this time yall. With a better understanding of what was going on in his head, just ..... I may or may not have cried a lot more than usual

Soooo strategic of howard shore to have let a long time pass without hearing the Shire theme before it plays when frodo and sam hug on the boat. Every. single. damn. time. that moment gets me. The power of MUSIC people.

Aaaaaaaaaand credits roll

[tathrin]

Six Sentence Sunday

Tagged by @sallysavestheday thank you!

From the Modernized LotR Zombie AU story that has completely eaten my brain (haha yes I know what I wrote there) lately:

They look at once alike, those two strange ageless creatures, and yet so different that it drives home to Boromir as nothing has before that elves are merely people, no more or less than any other.

Glorfindel's face has gone marble-pale in the firelit darkness, the strange light of his luminous eyes shuttered for once behind his lids, and he stands like a monument carved from some pearlescent stone that mortal hands have never shaped, only a few strands of golden hair moving around his still face from where they have been torn free of his tight crown of braids.

Legolas by contrast looks more woodsy than ever, standing like a sapling bent in the wind with his head bowed against Glorfindel's chest and his spindly hands clutching like brambles at the arms that hold him up against the weight of his sorrows. His thin brown face is bent so low that it is nearly hidden by the shadows the pyre throws across him, only the faint glimmer of his tears in the starlight hinting at the shape of his narrow features. His braids are looser, bundled softly at the back of his neck, and the gold of his soft dandelion hair is paler and plainer than the glimmer of Glorfidel's inhumanly aureous locks.

The firelight that dances upon both their heads gleams like raw gold in the darkness, however.

Tagging @bifuriouswaterbender @babybat98 @storytellingdreamer and anybody else who’s working on something they want to share!

[elvish-sky]

‘Shush’ and ‘Fuck Off’ Are the Fellowship's Favorite Sayings {Platonic Fellowship}

A.N: Wow! I haven’t written a oneshot or a fic with just canon characters in forever- this was very much needed! I was also cackling the entire time I wrote this, it was so nice to write something funny again. Also, I do headcanon Aragorn as bi- which is very much not relevant until the end of the fic, and this request is completely platonic like asked for, don’t worry! But yeah, this was a true delight to write and I hope you guys love it!

Requested by anon on Tumblr: I wish you would write a (platonic) fic in which Legolas has horrible posture and won't stop slouching and it gets on Aragorn's nerves all the time

Word Count: 1,204

Pairing: Platonic Fellowship

Summary: Legolas’s slouching annoys Aragorn so much that he enlists the help of two hobbits to do something about it.

Warnings: Fluff, Humor, Explicit Language

*******

Shush and Fuck Off Are the Fellowship's Favorite Sayings

“Legolas,” Aragorn hissed.

The elf turned, puzzled.

“What?”

“Sit up straight!”

Legolas rolled his eyes. “Really, Aragorn? This? Again?”

“It’s important to have good posture! You should know that!”

Legolas’ brain flashed back to his lessons as a child. He vaguely recalled something about sitting up straight, but he had never done so just to spite his father. Oh, well, it was too late now. He’d been slouching for thousands of years, at this point. Aragorn would just have to deal with it.

“We’re camping, in the middle of a forest, with only the rest of the Fellowship. Why do I need to have good posture?”

Aragorn sighed, leaving the elf without another word. He’d have to think about this more, but he was determined to make Legolas realize the value of good posture. Even if he had to put a permanent watch on Legolas to make him not slouch.

“Pssst. Merry. Merry!”

Merry turned to see Aragorn, shockingly, lying flat on his stomach behind a rock.

“What?”

“C’mere. Bring Pippin.”

Merry tapped Pippin on the shoulder.”C’mon. Aragorn wants us.”

Pippin’s eyes widened. “What? Why?” His voice dropped to a whisper, “Did he find the beetles? Because you know that was your idea!”

Merry shook his head. “I don’t know. But c’mon!”

Pippin, looking very worried, shimmied down the rock next to Merry, and the two of them crawled, on their stomachs, away from that campfire.

About five feet away from where they’d started, Pippin slumped with a sigh.

“Why are we crawling like this?”

“No clue. That’s what Aragorn was doing, so I figured we should do it too!”

Pippin shook his head. “That ranger is crazy, Merry. Don’t do what he does.”

“That ranger is right here.”

Pippin’s yelp of surprise at Aragorn appearing literally right next to him was stifled by the ranger’s hand slapping over his mouth.

“Shhh.”

Pippin pushed his hand away. “Why?!”

The ranger stayed silent and gestured for the two hobbits to join him behind a large tree, where he finally stood up. Merry and Pippin rose with him, brushing off their clothes and generally acting very annoyed.

“Okay, Aragorn,” said Pippin. “You have us here. Now, what is this all about?”

“Legolas,” Aragorn said. “More specifically, Legolas’s slouching.”

The hobbits groaned.

“Really? You’re still on that?” Merry asked.

“He shouldn’t slouch!!” Aragorn exclaimed. “He’s a prince, for crying out loud!”

Merry facepalmed. “It’s not like he needs to be princely right now! We’re literally in the middle of nowhere!”

“First of all, we’re not in the middle of nowhere, we’re _

“HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?” Pippin yelled.

“Because I’m smart.” Aragorn shot back. “Anways, secondly IT IS THE PRINCIPLE OF THE MATTER!!”

Merry shushed him.

Aragorn glared at him.

Merry glared back.

Finally, Pippin stepped between the two. “Fine, Aragorn, we’re in. What do you want us to do?”

Aragorn shrugged, “Just don’t let him slouch. Or train him to stop slouching. Do whatever you want, as long as it works,” and then the ranger turned, fell to the ground, and began crawling back to the campsite.

Pippin smirked, looking at Merry, “This should be fun.”

Merry rubbed his hands together. “Yes, it very much should. Shall we get started.”

Pippin nodded, and they both dropped to their stomachs and shimmied back to the campsite.

Legolas was getting more and more pissed off. For the past week, Merry and Pippin had been trailing him like dogs. They followed him literally everywhere he went, and he even swore he’d seen one of them awake while he was on watch- right before a squirrel had suddenly dropped onto his head and and fallen asleep. He’d stayed sitting up stick-straight the whole night so as to not dislodge it, and then, when it woke up, ran down to the river to wash his hair.

The hobbits had caused some sort of commotion every time he’d gone to relax- he was sure it was them, because who else could it have been? Now, he was going to confront them and find out what in Middle-Earth was going on.

Merry shrieked as a blond blur threw him over its shoulder and set off running. He looked to his left, and saw Pippin waving at him from where he was slung over the other shoulder.

“Where d’ya think we’re going?” Pippin asked.

“Wherever Legolas takes us, I guess!”

Because, of course, the blond blur was, in fact, Legolas.

Finally, the elf set them down, then paced back and forth in front of them, frowning.

This went on for several minutes, until Pippin piped up.

“Legola-”

“Shush!” The elf replied.

Pippin turned to Merry. “What is with all the shushing lately?”

Legolas shushed him again, and Pippin sat back, annoyed,

Finally Legolas spoke. “What did Aragorn put you two up to?”

The hobbits looked at each other, and then shrugged. In unison.

“Not a thing,” Merry told the elf.

Legolas approached Merry, annoyance clear in his eyes. As he drew closer, the hobbit scooched farther and farther back on the rock he was sitting on, until, with a yelp, he tumbled right off the back.

Legolas kept advancing until he was standing right above the hobbit.

“What. Did. Aragorn. Make. You. Do?”

“Wellllllll…”

Twenty minutes later, Legolas stormed into the clearing, Merry and Pippin frantically trying to keep up with the elf’s furious strides.

Legolas walked up to Aragorn, staring right into the man’s eyes.

“YOU TOLD MERRY AND PIPPIN TO NOT LET ME SLOUCH?!!!”

“We can explain!” said Merry.

“Shush!” Boromir told him, “I want to see what this is all about!”

The two hobbits went over to sit with Frodo and Sam in a huff. All their hard work to get Legolas to not slouch, and he’d found out.

Legolas continued to rage at Aragorn. “I cannot BELIEVE YOU’D DO THIS!!!! My posture is PERFECT FOR ME, AND I DON’T NEED YOU JUDGING ME FOR IT ALL THE TIME!!!”

Aragorn ws now also annoyed. “Well excuse me for looking after your spinal health! I just wanted you to not have constant back pain, but nooooo, you don’t care! You don’t care about looking presentable, you don’t care about it hurting, you just don’t care!”

“That’s right!” Legolas exclaimed. “I don’t care! I’m an elf, Aragorn, it’s not going to hurt my back. And secondly, who gives a damn about looking presentable in the middle of the woods. Now kindly tell your hobbit posture police to fuck off!”

Aragorn still looked pretty pissed, but backed off. “Fine. But when you get in trouble with your father again, don’t come crawling to me!”

The two went to sit on opposite sides of the clearing, both fuming.

Sometime later, Legolas turned around to see the ranger slouching on his side of the clearing.

Gleeful, Legolas called out “Aragorn! You’re slouching!”

Aragorn’s spine became as straight as an arrow. “Fuck off!!” He yelled at the elf.

As the ranger sulked in the corner, Legolas burst into laughter. The rest of the Fellowship joined in, all cackling at the grumpy ranger in the corner.

Whose spine, of course, was now as straight as, well, not himself. It was, again, as straight as an arrow.

Everything tag: @entishramblings @itgetsatadhazy @boyruins @anjhope1 @kumqu4t @katbby16 @thewhiteladyofrohan @kirstenscaffeinateddisaster @beenovel @shethereadinghobbit @guardianofrivendell @hey-its-nonny

Legolas tag: @from-patroclus-with-love @bitter-sweet-farmgirl

[soyeahitsmiddleearth]

Dimension Jumping Pt. 5

Comforting a grieving hobbit and time get everyone ready to go out!

Via the genius idea from katzrfsoa / Kat88

There's been mention of the reader not wanting to take the groups out, for fear of the public's reaction... so what about a cosplay convention? it would give the Reader the perfect excuse to allow them out, and they would wear their original clothes 

----

This morning has been uneventful for the most part.

Breakfast passed by without issue and now everyone is off doing their own things.

You looked outside and took a peek in the guest room, but you still can't find him.

Sam, Merry, and Pippin are playing a board game you showed them; Legolas is doing his meditation sleep thing; Boromir and Aragorn are discussing something; and Gimli is stacking bread on Legolas' leg to see how long it takes until he notices.

Frodo, however, is missing at the moment.

Right as you were considering telling the others of his disappearance, however, you heard some shuffling from your hall closet.

You open the door carefully and take peer inside, not wanting to startle the small hobbit, and at first you don't see him.

There's more shuffling and you hear a quiet sniff, followed by soft sobs, and you then realize he's hiding behind the shelf.

The door makes a soft clicking sound when you close it, and right away the quiet cries cease. You didn't want to alert him with the door, you wanted to do it yourself, but it's too late now, so you just go with it.

"Frodo?" You call in a gentle voice, staying by the door incase he wants you to go.

"Y-Yes?' He calls back, not moving from his spot.

His voice is thick with emotion, and the sadness in his tone makes your heart ache painfully. And when you walk closer and see him huddled up behind the shelf, your heart breaks a little for him.

He hastily rids his cheeks of any evidence of his sorrows, though the puffiness around his eyes and constant sniffles don't much help his cause, and looks at you with a false smile.

"Frodo, why are you crying?" You ask with furrowed eyebrows, kneeling down in front of him so you may look at him at eye level (mostly).

"It's nothing." He tells you quickly, looking away from your compassionate face with the same sad frown on his lips.

When you don't move to get up or leave, his gaze slides back over to you and he realizes that you're not going to leave unless he straight up tells you to go away. This makes him sigh, but truthfully, he doesn't want you to go away. Not really. For having company in a time of sorrow always mends suffering.

"I... did not have a proper time to mourn Gandalf. I've been so caught up in the oddity that is this place that I almost forgot my sorrows altogether, but then this morning is all... came rushing back." He explains with a surprisingly even voice.

While he speaks you cross your legs and listen along intently, your hands folded neatly in your lap. When he finishes, you reach forward and place your hand atop his with a gentle touch, "I didn't know him, but I can tell he was very dear to you. Honestly, I can't offer much advice, but I can tell you that keeping it all bottled up inside is not a good idea."

He looks at you with that sad face when you speak, and it prompts you to continue, "Also, I know everyone else can be pretty overwhelming or they just don't understand, and I want you to know that I'm always here to listen if you're feeling down, okay?"

Your words draw a small smile from the grieving hobbit and it elicits a similar grin from you.

"Thank you, Y/N. I... actually do feel a little better."

"I'm glad."

---

After your discussion with Frodo you rejoin everyone back out in the main room and let him recollect himself, going right onto your laptop to get some work done.

You're idly scrolling through a scholarly article you need to research when you see it.

An advertisement for some sort of comic book, cosplay, convention... thing in the area (no wonder you've been seeing so many oddly dressed people recently).

At first you almost scroll past it, but then you get hit with the brick of knowledge and a lightbulb goes off in your head.

"Yes!" You scream, successfully scaring everyone in the room and Penny who is sitting with you for once. "Ohh, my god. This is freaking perfect!" You exclaim, clicking on the link to get some more information.

Your eyes practically soak up everything on the information page, and, once you've skimmed through all of it, you look up with a bright smile on your face.

Literally all of them are looking at you like you've grown two heads, but you only clap your hands together a few times. "Guys, I just had a huge brain moment!"

The joke goes over their heads as per usual, but you don't let that deter you.

"Huge brain moment?" Pippin asks in confusion, looking at his cousin like he thinks he heard it wrong or something.

"Yes! I've figured out a way to take everyone out!"

That certainly gets their attention.

"You have?" Sam asks exuberantly, dropping his game piece so he can turn towards you and pay perfect attention.

"I have, yes," you start, continuing once you're 100% sure they're all paying attention, "So here's the thing, I knew that I could take out you tall boi's without issue besides having to find a hat for Legolas here, and I could explain that Gimli here has dwarfism," you pause at that and realize it may be offensive to him, but you continue once more, "but I also knew that there's no way I can explain away the hobbits, and then I found this gem."

You turn the computer so it faces all of them, but they only look more confused.

"There's a convention thing in town for the next week, and it's the perfect opportunity for me to bring everyone out! We just have to dress up the hobbits a bit and pretend that they're children."

At your explanation you receive multiple pleased smiles, and it serves to make you feel even better about your idea. "And you can all wear your normal clothes, too. And if someone asks who you are... I'll figure out a game or something you guys can use as an alias."

"Are you sure that will work?" Aragorn asks with furrowed eyebrows, sitting up from his spot in your arm chair.

"Um, like, maybe 98%." You confirm with a shrug, "It's better than 88% though."

He doesn't seem like he disagrees with you, so you look back at your laptop again and start to look for ideas to make them more believable as humans.

---

3 hours of research later, and you've successfully compiled a completely fool proof plan to smuggle this merry band of bizarre boys out of your house.

What you've decided is that you'll put some makeup over Legolas' pointy ears to make them look more fake since the concept of elves is not lost in this world. Boromir and Aragorn can go as themselves, and you'll put some makeup on the hobbits much like you will Legolas (they'll be children elves since there are no hobbits in your world) and tell everyone who asks how they look so good that you're a professional makeup artist.

Gimli, fortunately for you, was the easiest to come up with something for next to the other two humans of this group. You can just tell people he has dwarfism and that's why he chose to go as a dwarf character.

Everything is in order except for what you're going to do, though you suppose you should match their theme and be some sort of renaissance, maiden, lady, thing. You'll figure it out, though you do need to make sure it's convincing like theirs.

You decided to, instead of putting it off, go ahead and start working on finding a costume to match theirs.

A couple of searches later and you come across a really pretty dress that looks to fit their style, and when you show it to them they give you the thumbs up, so you order it with express shipping so it should arrive tomorrow.

It's a lovely flowy medieval dress *just look up flowy medieval dress and go to images, there are some good examples there*, and you feel excited just looking at it. Of course, there's no guarantee that it'll be the best quality, but it's got great reviews and you certainly paid a hefty sum for it.

After that's done with you head to your bathroom to see what makeup you've got, and you find that you don't really have any theatrical/special effects makeup. You're going to need skin colored wax makeup, powders, and contour stuff.

You're no makeup artist, obviously, but luckily for you, your goal is to make them look less realistic, so it should be easy enough.

It's surprisingly easy to figure out what you need to make them as convincing as possible, and pretty soon you've got a nice little list going on that outlines each thing you need.

Since you don't want to delay anymore, you head out of your bathroom and grab your bag while putting on your shoes, "Legolas, I'm leaving now if you wanna come with." You suggest since he stated his desire to join you in the one of the last chapters (:o).

When you call his name he looks over at you quickly, smiling a bit at your offer, "Yes, but you said I need a hat."

"Oh yeah! I have one, just gimme a sec." You tell him, walking over to a drawer.

When you open said drawer, you find a grey beanie with ease and toss it over to him, "Here ya go. Make sure it covers your ears... and uh, tuck your hair up into it too if you don't mind."

He does as you say with ease and, surprisingly, he looks just as good with shorter hair as he does longer hair.

It sticks kinda awkwardly at first, so you waltz on over and gesture for him to crouch down so you don't have to reach up.

Once again he does as you request and leans down so you may fix it.

You adjust it a bit to make sure it won't fall first, and then you smooth it back a bit so it'll also look stylish. And once you're done you take a step back and smile at him brightly.

"All done! Let's go!"

---

He seemed rather fascinated in the way your car works first and foremost, but once you got him to look out his window instead of watching you, his excitement quickly turned into awe.

When you both get to the ULTA store he follows you without hesitation and asks some hushed questions about things he sees, like the light up signs, other passing cars, stoplights, and some other things.

You, of course, answer each question happily and lead him inside, holding the door open for him while he enters and looks around the brightly lit up makeup store.

Right away you head towards the general direction of the nose and scar wax (it's multi purpose, don't judge me), forgetting to make sure that Legolas follows you.

When it does occur to you, however, that the blond elf didn't come after you, you panic.

You turn in a circle and only stop when you see him standing with some ladies who practically have hearts in their eyes.

Unconsciously you breathe a sigh of relief and head over with the wax in your little basket, immediately reaching up to wrap your arm around his, "I got the first thing on my list, come on."

The girls stop their giggles and flirting as soon as you show up and look genuinely surprised.

You give them a smile and nod in acknowledgement, not wanting to make them feel bad over something so silly before turning with your arm still around his own and walking him over to look at some contour stuff and other things.

They make some snide comments when you turn your back about you being a 'clingy girlfriend' and 'not pretty enough to be with a model like that', but you only ignore it and relish in the fact that you didn't make them feel bad over something as silly as a cute guy in a makeup store.

"Why are those women talking about you like that?" He asks in a whisper, leaning down so only you will hear his question.

You look up at him with a bit or surprise since you didn't expect him to pick up on that, before you smile, "They're attracted to you, and they think that I was being selfish with taking you away from their advances."

"Selfish? Advances?" He looks confused, but you only smile and turn back to the display case.

"Don't worry your pretty little head over it, Leggy my boy."

"Leggy?" He asks slowly, looking at you in confusion.

"Leggy." You confirm with a nod with a distracted hum.

It isn't much later that you have everything you need, and so you go to the checkout and buy everything.

"Going to the convention?" The girl at the counter asks with a smile.

You smile back and nod your head, glancing up at Legolas before looking back at her, "That obvious?"

"No of course not, just the items in your basket always fly off the shelves around convention time." She replies with a giggle, ringing up all your items.

"Well, that's fair." You muse, putting your card into the reader to pay for it.

Once everything is in order she hands you your receipt and adds, "Maybe I'll see you there."

"Maybe!" You chirp back happily, liking the nice conversation going on here.

"You and your boyfriend have a good day now!"

You elect to ignore that.

---

On the way home you pretend to not notice the black car following yours and make small talk with the elf, answering some more of his questions and speaking idly on different things.

"There are so many odd, interesting things here..." He comments after a while, glancing out the back window. "Are you aware that, that car has been following us for the past 10 minutes?"

You nod and hum as an answer, "Mmhm, it's just Brian. He's probably trying to figure out who you are."

The blond knits his eyebrows together and glances back to look at the car again, "Should I do something about it?"

"The only thing you can do is ignore it. He went from lowercase 's' stalker to uppercase 's' since you guys arrived, and it'll only get worse if you intervene." You mumble, trying not to look in the rearview mirror at him. "It's fine."

"You don't seem to think it's fine." He challenges in the same even tone, turning in his seat towards you.

Instead of answering his question you look at him while you stop at a light and grumble, "I told you to put your seatbelt on."

"It's uncomfortable."

"I don't care."

"I will be fine."

"Not if we get into a crash, you won't."

The two of you stare each other down before he slowly reaches up and buckles his belt, never breaking eye-contact.

"Good boy." You coo in a way-too sweet voice.

"Anyways, I know we said as much before, but you needn't worry about that man while we're here." He continues despite your obvious subject change.

"I know." Your reply is softer and less defensive this time, for you really do appreciate it, "Thank you."

He looks surprised at your sudden gratitude, and his expression shows as much "For what?"

"For being you. For looking out for me. All of you."

This time he smiles and says no more.

---

When you both get back to your house you immediately put everything in your bathroom and get onto your laptop to view some techniques on theatrical and movie makeup, Pippin and Merry on either side of you while they view through the pictures and videos with you.

"That one looks interesting." Merry pipes up suddenly, pointing at a person to wolf makeup transformation.

"Yep, and way past anything I can do."

This pattern of going through pictures and viewing clips goes on for a little while until they two hobbits depart to have lunch, meanwhile you continue on so that tomorrow will be a success.

You're both excited and nervous at the same time, wanting to see how it'll all turn out but also dreading it incase something goes wrong.

You know the most important thing is to have a positive mindset about it, but it's kinda hard sometimes during your more anxious moments.

Also, there's the issue of Brian possibly following all of you...

Nah, that'll be a problem to think on for tomorrow.

"What time will we leave tomorrow?" Aragorn asks from his usual spot on the rocking chair, Penny still nestled in his lap as per usual.

"Around the morning. I bought the tickets already so we won't have to stand in line for too long... Hopefully."

"Thank you for working so hard so that we may see more of your world." He comments suddenly, stroking his hand down her fluffy back.

You tilt your head to the side and smile a bit, "You don't have to thank me."

"No, I do. You have seen to our every need and we no doubt pose to be a huge burden. Thank you, really."

His words make you flush slightly, and you look away shyly.

You've grown to care about all of them, so of course you would do anything to keep them comfortable at this point. More than anything you're just glad they see how much you're trying to make things easy on them. It feels nice being recognized for your efforts.

Plus, the added protection from Brian is pretty sweet.

"Anything for you guys."