#born to draw but was forced to write to be better at defending my favorite characters

[byghostface]

//long rambling

There is a vent in the last part (about pro ship:/+ wired shipping + block list) it's naturally negative so reading at your own risk.

So in the new Batman and Robin issue #7 Nika's sister making an appearance, got me thinking of other possibilities for sibling characters to come back.

Mostly I’m thinking about Respawn since he is Joshua Williamson's own character. And He made Respawn appeared in the last issue of Robin(2021), he also brought back Mara in that run too (just some appearance in the later issue).

And now Joshua Williamson is writing Batman and Robin, so naturally he can bring some characters back in this run. He had said in an interview that he might have figured out a way(try) to bring back Maya.

Throwback to 2022 of this old wip/art I made, is about what I think the emo teens of Lazarus squad dynamic would look like.

I imagine Nika and Respaw are irritated/tolerate with each other but would stay for Damian because Nika is Damian's girlfriend and they want to stick together. Meanwhile, Damian likes to include his half-brother in some fun activities (Respawn is acting reluctant bc of his own issues but he actually likes to have friends and feel include).

I haven’t finished this art bc I was going to add more wips (with other characters like Rose and Hawke) to make it a post. I didn't finish this art back then bc I was afraid Talia fans would be mad at me for drawing Respawn.

Trust me, I hate that Talia gets associated with Deathstroke like this, but I think Respawn is a confused/mistreated teen character and Damian (bless his heart and soul) still wants to be his brother regarding the whole mess. I will explain/talk more about my thoughts on Respawn as a character and his situations once I finish these drawings and get ready to post them.

Writing/typing words is harder than drawing for me personally. Drawing is like channeling my energy into a picture and forming an atmosphere and hopefully people will understand what thoughts and feelings I was trying to convey. Writing is using more brain powers to choose the correct and cohesive words, so people would not misunderstand what I'm talking about. Especially when English is not my first language, and even so I normally don't talk(write) much in my mother tongue either…(I'm not a quick thinker, it took me a longer time to think things through, writing literally exhausted me physically and mentally more than drawing.)

It doesn't mean I don't enjoy writing, it's just not my first choice to convey thoughts… but considering I can't draw everything I have in my mind and it takes even longer time to finish any art, I just need to write down things first from now on. Tumblr is the only place I can think of that has this longer text feature blog post and I'm more familiar with this platform format. So I will still be here posting my fan content.

.

(↓Vent, if you want to avoid being block by me then read down below.)

I must say I will forever hate respawn x flatline as ship, cus I know who started this ship and their reasons behind it—Don’t let the new character develop naturally as the story goes, let’s put them in made-up weird situations first so I can prop up my own ship!😍 And get both of the new characters out of the way, since no one would defend them so I can fanon the hell out of them by making them look bad all around!🤞 (What if I stone you first hand🪨🪨💥)

And I will continue to dislike/against any shipping Damian's sibling to Nika. I simply don't like the unnecessary sibling conflict just for romance tropes! So go away boooo I hate you‼️ Not to mention the ignoring of different age range multi-ship hide behind poly… that's straight up proshipping I hate you even more!!👎

Also for people who said Nika should be crush on Damian's mother instead of him… I hate you twisted proshipper rotten smooth brain‼️‼️ She dating a boy her age and has mutual connections with him, why would she crush on her boyfriend's mother instead?? Just because Nika is a big fan of Talia??? So you telling me young ppl can't idolize adults normally without being labeled as romantic nowadays huh??( Not saying you can't crush on adults, but why crush on your boyfriend's mom? ) Your weird ass mind is showing with this ass hc be fr. Again, why would you imagine that? You just wanted to push a fake narrative of Nika being wired so you could have an excuse to make Talia and Damian dislike her (which is not true), but in fact is YOU are the weird one projecting your twist thoughts/hate onto Nika‼️💥🪨🪨

I will start to block ppl who are shipping/liking respawn x flatline (+proshipper) and STILL interact with me, read the room!! My art is not for you weirdos‼️Go away BOOOO💥 🪨🪨🪨💥💥

Can't believe I need to type this all out cuz some of you weirdos will still do these things and think is okay to interact with me and my post/showing in my notifications BOOO👎🪨🪨💥🪳🪳🪳🩴🩴🩴

(sorry for venting about random weirdos/Nika haters again, and thanks for reading.)

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV Musings - Justice for Claudia (she deserved better) ❤️👸🏼👸🏽👸🏾❤️ - S1

Everything that's ever happened to Claudia in her whole life is unfair and effed up, because my daughter has suffered more than Christ in the books, film, and tv show. 😩 This is not about seeing things in bad faith, it's about seeing things from CLAUDIA'S perspective, how SHE FEELS about her place in life, based on the way she's been treated and the things she's gone through & things she's seen happen to herself & the people she loves.

1) abandoned by her biological father when Claudia was born (mom died in childbirth)

2) grew up poor & abused as a child with her "mean ole auntie who beat her cuz no one said she couldn't")

3) watched her biological aunt die horribly, burned to death "But when Auntie came back, she got stuck on the other side and brought the fire back with her."

4) turned into a killing machine by "two hell demons," without her full knowledge/consent (she was unconscious). Daddy Lou's her favorite but he's "smothering;" and Uncle Les and her have a lot in common but he's "crotchety"--the mean ole uncle rather than the mean ole auntie ("when I'm tired, I'm not so kind!"). She sleeps in Louis' coffin until she's finally weaned enough to get a coffin & bedroom of her own; and immediately tries to draw boundaries ("you have to knock first, out, out! OUT! ") and have some independence, to little avail.

5) forever too-young, 14 for the next 30+ years. When she tries to dress her age and not like a little kid, Lestat chides her for wearing clothes he didn't buy for her, and the white racist wenches call her a "Darkie playing dress-up in the dark!"

6) AMC!Claudia accidentally kills her first love Charlie, forced by Uncle Les to watch him burn while he puts her in Chokehold #1 "stop squirming, and watch...his face as it melts;" while Daddy Lou did eff all to stop him

7) the only companion she has left is her diary ("friends of last resort"), and in her depression she turns to self-harm, burning herself

8) does what Uncle Les taught her to do and killskillskills (not just collecting trophies, she's also tryna create her own fledgling/companion, but she's too small so they all die "gaspin!"); "you better hope and pray you taught me how to clean up good." Spoiler: Les didn't teach her jack, cuz the 56 Floaters are found anyway. But Les still has the nerve to put her in Chokehold #2, while Louis stands there doing eff all to stop him--"you gonna let him do this to me!?" She also feels violated when Les admits to having read ALL of her diaries (Lou read the one Les gave him), and Les accuses her of "ungratefulness" when she's just venting to her private journal. "I'm never gonna forget what happened here. I hate you both!").

9) The 56 Floaters send the cops a'knockin, and Lestat (her Blood Father) tells her "you are a mistake" -- "an anvil (pulling us down)." She feels she's been abandoned by yet another father figure who never wanted her "you wanted her, you fix her!"--and tells Lou he's been cucked for years as Les cheats on him with a flat-arsed white woman ("he's gotten tired of us"), but Lou just stands there doing eff all to speak up or fight back "he treats us like sh!t and you take it, why is that?!" (TBF, Lou did cuss Les out for calling her a mistake, "how about you STFU?!", but again: CLAUDIA felt that Louis didn't do enough to defend us/them/HER, and that's all that matters)

10) runs away from home to find herself/learn about vampiric nature, but was forced into hiding cuz of segregation, sneaking around libraries & campuses--(pretending that her Black mother was the maid/servant/slave who'd abandoned/left her child to wander around unsupervised)--just to gain access to White-Only learning spaces, cuz ever since Slavery times, white people didn't let Black people learn to read & write or educate themselves, since knowledge=power.

11) Bruce, the first vampire she meets away from home saves her from the white racists, and they bond over having abusive European Makers ("you and I are running from the same thing then"). Bruce actually encourages her book-reading, but only recommends European Etiquette books--rules on "manners, how to be a nice young lady." Offended, ofc she refuses, only for Bruce/Killer to turn around and viciously rape & beat her, breaking her bones & stuffing her under the floorboards to assault her over & over again for a whole week straight for being "rude" to him; before effing off when he got bored & "tired of your gloomy face."

12) comes back home after 7 years to find Louis mourning his permanent estrangement from his sister Grace, and is convinced that the only reason Daddy Lou ever wanted her around was to be his substitute sister (WE ofc know this isn't true, but SHE doesn't know). She tries to talk Louis into being her (travel) companion in Eastern Europe to "meet vampires worthy of your love!," only for Lestat to butt in and show his whole entire arse.

13) she apologizes to Loustat very calmly & politely & maturely, Lestat resents her for hurting Lou by leaving them (ofc Claudia doesn't know she'd hurt Les' feelings by leaving, too ("turn a betrayal into an opportunity")), and is also scared/threatened that she'll take Lou away from him for good. So he refuses her apology, insults her intelligence & self-education & mocks that she can never get a college degree, calls her a "destitute little girl destined to live an inconsequential little life," mocks her for being raped in the "American hinterland," and throws "how did Charlie taste? like the love you'll never know?" in her face for good measure. Escalating the situation to the point of no return, Les then viciously attacks her with Chokehold #3, and commences to beat the dog snot out of Louis right in front of her when Lou tries to defend his daughter from her attacker. She tries to defend Lou and fight Les off of him, but "godlike strength" Lestat flings her "built-like-a-bird" body off of him, throwing her into the furniture and giving her a bleeding head injury. Les drags Lou out of the house by his effing jaw, and Claudia chases after them, tryna sacrifice herself to protect her Daddy Lou by begging "Uncle Les, let him go, it's me you want!" Only for him to tell her to her face "it was never YOU!," confirming (for her) that he never wanted her. She watches helplessly as Les savagely bites Lou & drains him (ie: vampiric rape) before flying Lou 2km into the effing atmosphere and "dropped him like an egg from an airplane," leaving her to pick up the pieces when Les effs off (in shame) to Algiers/Antoinette for the next 6 years.

14) Claudia becomes Louis' mother, hunting down animals to feed him, and teaching him how to walk again. For at least 3 years, she's the only one fit enough to clean up the absolute wreck Loustat had turned the townhouse into (both pre-/post-fight), and she's the only one who can protect them both if Lestat decided to finish what he'd started--let alone Bruce. She rejects Lestat's mea culpas for Louis, bravely answering the door to turn Les away; yeeting the keys to the Rolls Royce into the ether rather than stand by and let Louis be buttered up by Lestat's obvs lovebombing & manipulations. But all her efforts for nothing, when Louis finally folds & lets Lestat return to the household.

15) Fed up, she declares that she's emancipated herself as NEITHER of Loustat's child--"I'm your sister, or there's the door." Rather than humbling himself to have a sincere heart-to-heart & apologize to his daughter (who's obvs still hurting & traumatized from everything she'd gone through, seen him do, and is terrified that he'll do to them AGAIN), Lestat snipes at her, becoming increasingly macroaggressive "I am your Maker!" Unimpressed with Les' lovebombing ("He's trying. Teaching you piano, the chess board, isn't he?"), she's the constant reality check for Loustat about what happened "that night," "we leave the damage, so we never forget the damage;" refusing to give an inch as Les takes a mile & (inevitably) reverts back to his toxic behavior, "Lestat the vulnerable becomes Lestat the irritable becomes Lestat the controlling, you watch!" The ONE thing they agree on is that Louis' vegan diet makes them both feel "tolerated" & "looked down on" for wanting/needing to eat humans, agreeing to Lestat's rule to only eat humans from now on.

16) Meanwhile, Claudia's "Rule #4: Kill Antoinette" went completely ignored, Les insulting Claudia's intelligence by faking Ant's death & mocking Claudia for "liking souvenirs" by giving her Ant's severed finger. She's still following Les around as he cheats on Lou with Ant in Ponchatoula. Hoping this'll get Lou to stand up for them, and stop doing eff all to confront Les and get them out of there, she drags Lou along to make him see Lestant's affair & listen in as Les bad-mouths him & Claudia "she's a nasty little creature" to his white mistress and lets that "desperate trash" talk crap about them too, "You don't need her, and you don't need him. They don't appreciate you like I do."

17) Fed up with living in constant fear of Lestat & taking his anymore of his bullcrap, she wants to leave for Eastern Europe to find better vampires ("they can't all be like him (Lestat), or him (Bruce)"). Yet again, she unsuccessfully begs Lou to come with her cuz she's scared it's not safe for him staying with Lestat ("when he hurts you again--and he will!--come find me"), but Lou tells her "I'd just hold you back.... Hey, Sis. You don't need me. You think you do, but you don't. You're smarter now. You see trouble coming a mile away." So she runs away, on a NYC-bound train headed North to freedom (a la Harriet Tubman's Underground Railroad), giggling excitedly even as she's forced to hide in the back with the luggage cuz little Negro girls weren't allowed to ride the nice White-Only trains. Just as she thinks she's free, Massa Lestat chases her down like a "slave" he's caused nothing but "misery with no horizon." Again, he mocks her being raped, and threatens to do even worse and kill her if she runs away again, "back in your cage, sweetheart." Back home, he's the pater familias from hell who's verbally abusive ("finish the game!"), cussing from A to Z, mad at her for outsmarting him and mad at Lou for his "timid child rearing & compromise" & not being a disciplinarian who'd go upside Claudia's head like Les wants to.

18) Claudia's 100% done enduring life under Lestat's shingled roof, and ropes Louis into helping with her Murder Plot. She only tells him so much, cuz she knows Lou's unreliable AF, scared he'll fold & choose Lestat over her again. (book!Claudia doesn't tell Louis about the Murder Plot at all, and her Merrick diaries reveal that she hates Lou just as much as she hates Les. But AMC!Claudia is much more forgiving of Lou; she loves him & cares/fears for him, but she''s also tired of how whipped he is for Massa Lestat.) She constantly has to remind Louis to stay on track and to "wake up!" whenever he got those dreamy hearteyes at Lestat that means he's *this* close to calling off the whole plan. But Claudia knows what time it is, cuz she knows Lestat's gone & Turned Antoinette into a frikkin vampire who's been spying on them. He even tries to have his white mistress kill his Black daughter, saying she "should never have been made/born," and that "Antoinette will be much more agreeable to our life together!" But Claudia said "Lestat, you must think me an idiot!" and he was GAGGED when she got the drop on ALL of them, poisoned TF outta Lestat, stabbed his sidepiece like a kebab and crushed her head in like the ant she is, and wrote Lestat's dying words in his own blood! 👑

19) But she was right about Louis being a flake, so lost in the sauce and out of his effing mind that he commits the ultimate betrayal, putting her in Chokehold #4 to stop her from burning Les alive. 🤦 (book!Louis DID burn Les.) Instead, AMC!Louis' a lovesick idiot who puts Les in the dump to feast on rats & regain his strength (book!Louis dumped Les in the swamp where gators almost ate Les alive). 🤦 Louis & Claudia finally leave NOLA for Eastern Europe, where Claudia hopes things will get better them overseas.

20) But alas....

To be continued in Pt2 for S2, cuz I hit Tumblr's hyperlink limit. 🙄

[angelicamerlinbarnes]

TUA DISNEY AUs: Big Hero 6 (Pt. XVIII)

(please understand that by AU, I mean they share an incredibly small amount of things in common with the original source material which I barely remember BUT the “story” takes place in the setting of the film) (not to be misleading or anything :p)

(BEWARE: abuse, murder, corruption, mental health issues, unhealthy coping mechanisms, suicidal ideation, death, grief, violence, basically i took the sad montage after Tadashi dies and just kept going with that except without the whole "getting better" thing, sorry, my bad, enjoy anyway i guess i don't know, bye, etc.)

(If you can handle watching Umbrella Academy, this will be fine for you.)

(Hiro) Vanya hasn’t much of a head for science - not since a gas explosion in her childhood apartment killed her parents and exposed her to radiation, leaving her brittle-boned and sickly. She spends most of her days holed up in her room, reading and writing about every little thing she sees and hears and feels. There’s this cat in the alleyway she feeds sometimes, and her friend Ben who comes by to see how she is every few days. The only time she goes out is for school, or bot fights down in the bad neighborhoods. At those she gets to see Ben, and his partner Klaus and his friend Diego. Oh, and Sissy - the beautiful, shy punk girl who spins the records in the corner store. Vanya lives what she considers a pretty average life - until Ben dies, she screams, and all the windows around her shatter from nothing.

(Tadashi) Ben has been a science nerd for years, spending hours in the libraries and labs researching every little thing that catches his fancy. His partner, Klaus, has no such interest, having more of a head for poetry, but Ben loves him more than life itself - especially since Klaus was the only person who stuck with him when one of his experiments went wrong a few years ago, resulting in tentacles that are prone to ripping out of his chest when he’s angry. And since he loves Klaus so much, he spares not a second thought to running back into a burning building to get him back, even when it means certain death. And Ben knows you can’t bring back the dead - he tried when Klaus’ beloved boyfriend Dave died in a gunfight a few years back. Once you’re gone, you’re gone - or so he thinks until he wakes up and Klaus starts crying and muttering, You’re here, you’re here, you’re here, I did it, I did it, I did it - and Ben reaches out and thinks, Oh, no, sweetheart. You didn’t.

(Honey Lemon) Allison was engaged to Ray before he disappeared, but even after that failed experiment lost her the love of her life, she continued to work for the forward movement of science and kept her vow of love to Ray. Using her research, she managed to create a pill that allowed her to bend reality, hoping to bring back Ray. Though she couldn’t raise the dead - no amount of I heard a rumor Ray was alive again worked - she won herself other advantages with her newfound powers, including sponsors, knowledge, opportunities, and protection. Klaus, Diego, Five, and Ben are her only true friends in this world - and she nearly loses all of them when Ben dies, drowning in their grief. When Luther, one of Five and Ben’s passion projects starts hanging around to monitor their mental health, Allison finds a new kind of love - deep, ever-lasting friendship that she’ll never give up. Even when they have to leave him behind on the moon after they save Ray, she doesn’t let him go - she finally knows how to speak up for what she wants, and speak up she does: I heard a rumor that Luther came back to me.

(Fred (actually a mash-up of Honey Lemon and Hiro though to be honest)) Klaus is a starving artist and poet, and he's covered in tattoos of his own words and drawings. Diego is too, because Diego loves him, and Klaus wants to love him back and probably does already, if he’s really honest with himself, but he’s not ready yet. Dave happened too soon ago. And then there was a fire, and Klaus was running around outside, looking for Ben, looking for the platonic love and light of his life, and he saw him run inside screaming Klaus’ name and never come back out. And he lives with that guilt every day, smoking and drinking all the bad shit again in an effort to just forget, forget, anything goddamn anything to forget, and he goes crazy. People forget, because he’s not a student at their nerd school and because he acts like a dumbass, that Klaus is actually just as much a genius as the rest of them, and whatever he wants, he can get without much trouble. So what if he can’t bring back the dead? He won’t live without Ben, he won’t, and he won’t leave Diego - which leaves only one option, really: find a way to make himself see ghosts.

(Wasabi) Diego lives a charmed life. Truly. He’s almost been assassinated fifteen fucking billion times, his two best friends are robots, and he’s in love with a person too sad to love him back. See, Diego’s skills brought him to the military’s special attention - he found a way to make weaponry that doesn’t obey the laws of physics. He keeps it as secret as he can, and will sell it to nobody, but millions of people are still after it. It’s not until one of the assassins almost nails Klaus with a bullet and Diego kills her with a store-bought kitchen knife without moving that he realizes the weaponry he created isn’t special, but Diego is. From then on it’s nothing but trouble - because Klaus likes to dumb himself down, but he can’t fool Diego, and so when he starts screaming at empty air and calling it Ben, Diego isn’t surprised in the least, though maybe he should be. Instead he just sighs, opens his arms, and lets a sobbing Klaus fall into him, loving him more than he did yesterday and less than he will tomorrow. Diego has his home, and he has his people, and he has his powers - and he will defend them to the fucking death.

(Gogo) Five is bitter and grumpy, living off coffee and perpetually crazy. He’s brilliant enough to have done surgery on himself, implanting an AI pacemaker in his heart named Dolores from an accident that nearly stripped him of everything, his life included. He was born with special powers, both of which fuelled his fascination with science, but he keeps that secret close to his chest - he’s seen what people do to Diego and Allison, and he has no interest in that. He’s close with the others, somewhat, though his impassable genius makes it difficult for people to understand him - Diego gives him piggy back rides and he often falls asleep curled into Klaus’ side, and Allison gives him rides home and Ben builds robots with him. But as hard as he finds it to connect with them, it’s even harder to lose them - so when he realizes he can use his time travel powers to save Ben, he doesn’t hesitate. And then he’s dying in Klaus’ arms, and he’s watching as his favorite person in the world chooses to lose the love of his life all over again to save Five, and something deep inside him changes.

(Baymax) Luther is a medical robot, built by Five and Ben in their spare time. There are some videos in him, mostly of Ben talking to Klaus because Luther was meant to be a gift for Klaus to help him with his depression, anxiety, PTSD, anorexia, and addiction, etc.. Five adds grief counseling to his programming and gives him to Klaus on his first birthday after Ben’s death, making Klaus dissolve into tears. While Luther clashes with Diego, who hates him for surviving where Lila didn’t, they get along well enough to appease Klaus, because Luther knows Klaus loves Diego and Diego knows Luther helps Klaus. When they travel to the moon to get Ray, Luther winds up stuck there, unable to get the others home if he doesn’t stay behind. Klaus and Allison both have trouble letting him go, but Klaus forces Allison to come home with him, crying as he leaves Ben for the third and final time. When Allison brings Luther back, his videos still intact, Klaus touches Ben’s face on his chest and cries, cries, cries.

Lila is a malfunctioning masterpiece, and Diego’s best friend. He made her as a help robot, but she’s a prototype, and was rejected for her proneness to violent outbursts and catatonic episodes. She’s easy to manipulate, as Diego never bothered to fix her security protocols, but it’s not like there’s anyone else who talks to her - except Five, and he’d never touch her programming without Diego’s explicit permission. She sleeps at Diego’s house, in her charging station next to Eudora’s. Lila knows robots can’t feel love, so that isn’t what she’s feeling - but her wires are tied to Eudora’s in some way, she just knows it. They’re two halves of the same code. But she never gets to explore that link - she burns away to nothing in the fire that destroys the Handler’s minions, using the last of her strength to save Five from the flames. She hopes, when Diego finds his baby brother curled in her charred corpse, that he’ll bury her in the rain, and keep on living without her well enough.

Eudora is a suicide-prevention robot. Seriously. That’s all she’s here for. Ben and Diego built her together for Klaus specifically, programming her with some of his favorite jokes and references so she’d have an easier time talking him down from the edge when one of them can’t be there. She’s programmed to instantly call Ben, Diego, Five, or Allison immediately if she finds him doing dangerous things, like playing with Diego’s knives naked. (It happened one time. Seriously. True story.) She’s calm and gentle, unruffled and kind, and Diego often spends hours talking to her, because she may be programmed for Klaus but she can still help anyone who needs it. He nearly looses her to Cha-Cha, but Klaus saves her just in time, beating Cha-Cha to a steaming hunk of scrap metal with a baseball bat for trying to hurt his best (robot) friend. She’s not saddened by Lila’s death, per say, she can’t be… but when she’s downloading databases on panic and anxiety attacks for Diego and Klaus, she makes sure to save some on insomnia for herself, too.

Sissy is a botfighter, one who dresses in a black and magenta punk aesthetic to fend off strangers, too shy for the world. She messes around with Vanya, the two of them often dancing in the rain and finding joy in the small moments, but happily ever after was never in the cards for them. Sissy lives with her abusive boyfriend Carl and has their son to take care of, an accident from too many beers - when Carl murders her in a drunken rage, it’s less of a surprise and more of a solemn inevitably. Her son, Harlan, is placed in Vanya’s care, and Vanya travels the world with him, telling him everything about his mother she knows. It’s a bittersweet ending, but a hopeful one too.

Ray was a student at the nerd school before he became a therapist, using his incredible mind-healing technology to help people all over the world. Allison fell in love with him quickly, easily, and the two were engaged before the year was up, planning for a spring wedding in which Klaus would, obviously, be the flower girl. But when he was offered the chance to go to space as a therapist for the other nine people on the mission, he jumped at the chance, bidding Allison goodbye and heading to the moon. But something went wrong and he was lost to the world, along with the other nine astronauts, all of whom died when the ship crash-landed. Ray has been in a coma for years there, having been knocked out in the explosion, and remains that way until Luther brings him home, Allison having come for him at last. (When he’s well enough to, he takes care of Five, Klaus, and Diego, whose mental states have been steadily declining for years. Their robots are brilliant, of course, but there are some things you just need a human for.)

Reginald is the dean of the nerd school and also an asshole. He has a habit of killing students when they get in his way, or to steal their inventions as his own - and he gets away with it too, because he’s at the forefront of memory technology and quite literally erases these people from existence so nobody comes asking questions. Plus he’s got connections in the government that destory any records he needs destroyed. He had a couple of kids he wanted to get rid of the night of the showcase, and started the fire to make it seem like an accident - well, Ben actually was an accident, he wasn’t on Reginald’s hitlist, not yet, but whatever. It is what it is. What Reginald doesn’t anticipate is Klaus - because nobody ever anticipates Klaus - and so he thinks nothing of it when he confesses to Ben’s murder in his monologue in front of all his former students. He can just erase their memories later. Or so he thinks, until Klaus lets out a savage war cry and lunges forward to strangle him, killing him in cold blood without a second thought, and so is the end of Reginald Hargreeves. (Five takes the fall for his murder - not that it matters. Diego and Klaus break him out and the three of them disappear, never to be seen again - at least, not until Allison’s done manipulating every single person in the world into forgetting it ever happened on live TV.)

The Handler is Reginald’s finest invention: a flawless AI in a perfect human body. Problem is, she became bored of being his servant years ago and took over his life, blackmailing him into doing whatever she wants. Most of the killings are still his idea, and Ben certainly wasn’t her fault, but it’s the Handler who wants Five dead, and it’s the Handler who sends her reject minions after him. She wants Eudora dead and she wants Klaus deader, but she gets neither - Five finds her and hacks her into little tiny pieces, putting all of them in a fire and then shoving those ashes into an Iron Maiden, dropping the Handler to an inescapable grave. Fuck her “life”.

Hazel is a teddy bear with a security camera in his stomach. He sits on Agnes’ counter in her donut shop, just watching the goings-on even though nobody ever steals anything there. Mostly he’s held in the lap of Five, who comes into Agnes’ whenever he doesn’t want his friends to see him cry - over a failed invention, Klaus’ most recent suicide attempt, Lila’s death - whatever, you name it. Agnes takes care of him, making him milkshakes when he asks for coffee, and eventually sends Hazel home with him, asking him to take care of Five for her. He doesn’t know it’ll be the last time he ever sees her - two weeks later Agnes is killed by Reginald and her donut shop is ransacked by looters. Her memory lives on in Hazel and Five, who rebuilds and reopens the shop with Klaus and Diego and Allison after a couple years, renaming it for Ben and living on despite his grief, and Hazel sits on the counter again, watching the sunset through the glowing windows.

Cha-Cha was supposed to be one of those “oh-hey-we’re-not-racist-anymore-we-make-black-dolls-too-see?” Barbies. She ended up with a rather experimental kid who enjoyed robotics and horror films, resulting in Cha-Cha: an AI in a Barbie with chainsaw arms. She kidnaps Klaus under the Handler’s orders, as he’s a connection to Five (who the Handler wants to kill) and Ben (who’s the only connection to Reginald and the Handler’s murders). This backfires spectacularly, of course, when Eudora and Diego come for him: Cha-Cha goes for Eudora’s throat and Klaus breaks himself free of his binds and beats her to smithereens with a baseball bat.

Leonard used to hang around Vanya, just generally assaulting her and being a creep, until suddenly he disappeared one rainy Monday never to be seen again. His body was found rotting in a lake a couple years later. It was revealed later on that he had decided to and succeeded in making real-life replicas of the Five Nights at Freddie’s characters, and they hadn’t been too fond of him trying to boss them around. The Handler recruited the replicas later on for her own schemes, and they followed Reginald rather well, their appetite for people satisfied well enough. But Leonard remains the school legend, and a striking reminder to be careful what monsters you let live.

Grace is the queen of the Land of the Remembered, and you may be wondering what she’s doing in this story. Well, to put it simply - Reginald’s little games have been messing with her shit. There are perfectly kind and memorable people who have come down to her only to be erased in the Land of the Living within the week, leaving her no choice but to take them in as refugees, working out a deal with the Land of the Forgotten since they weren’t given a fair shot at their deserved afterlife. She takes care of Ben when he dies for the second and final time, appearing to assure Klaus he’ll be alright when he crosses over. This is when Diego finally learns the truth about his mom, who has always been home in time to make dinner and never missed a single milestone, and who is apparently also an all-powerful goddess. She gives him a hug and tells him his boyfriend is cute (He’s not my boyfriend.) (You’re holding hands, darling. You may be an oblivious idiot, but I’m not.) and then she heads off, though she’s always back with Ben for the holidays. (Not Lila, unfortunately. She has no jurisdiction over robots.)

And Hiro is ace-aro and he and Miguel are QPPs, and Honey Lemon and Wasabi are QPPs, and Fred and Wasabi are dating, and Gogo is an bisexual aro queen with a girl she likes to kiss in the back alleyways, and Hiro has two sisters named Violet and Boo and Tip is his ace-aro lab partner. You’re welcome.

[adultswim2021]

Sealab 2021 #38: “Let 'Em Eat Corn” | July 18, 2004 - 11:45 PM | S04E05

I can’t explain why, exactly, but I like this episode. It’s as brainless and dashed-off as anything else this season, but there’s a silliness behind it, and same as Craptastic Voyage, it moves pretty well. In this one, Shanks decides to declare Sealab an independent nation, which has a cascading effect where the other crew members to also declare their individual pods as independent nations. War is declared, they all get warheads, British guys eat corn in the nude... I don’t know, man. Somehow this one just sorta works for me. I don’t laugh out loud at it, but this one is more fun than the others.

I think the fact that it evokes other things I like: The Newfreeland sketch on Mr. Show, the “Bomb” episode of The Young Ones. There’s okay jokes that aren’t terrible. The worst joke in the episode is Debbie wearing a helmet that says BORN TO GET CRABS, which is a really cheap joke. I mean, they’ve made jokes about the fact that the writers fall back on making the attractive blonde woman be a whore for no good reason. Like... honestly? The writers give her some slutty lines and the animators draw her in slutty situations, but I don’t really think the voice performs Debbie as being particularly whoreish. I don’t know how to explain it, but she’s only a whore in the most shallow ways possible.

I don’t want to sound like a huge fa-- I mean, SJdub-- I mean... what’s the least abrasive way to say this? I don’t want people to mistake me as a non-piece-of-shit, because I promise you, I am exactly that, but Debbie’s performance always suggested that she was just a young woman, maybe a little shallow and insensitive, very naturally attracted to the only man in Sealab who isn’t a complete psycho, and the only reason for jokes about her being a whore I can think of is low-hanging misogyny. I really don’t think the writers of Sealab 2021 can actually pull off satire or even just irony (two things that I would gladly defend even though by today’s standards they are LITERALLY VIOLENCE). I’m not being critical of dicey humor. I am often a defender of dicey humor. I’m often a purveyor of dicey humor. But having that character in a helmet that says “BORN TO GET CRABS” isn’t even like, funny on a phonic level. It’s just bad writing. And I’m saying this about an episode I sorta like!

Besides, we were ALL born to get crabs.

EPHEMERA CORNER

Aqua Teen Hunger Force - Volume Two (DVD - July 20, 2004)

On the same day Sealab 2021′s first volume came out on DVD, so did Aqua Teen Hunger Force volume two. A brief overview might be difficult for this one, but I’ll try to touch on what’s important: First the design of this volume is so much better than the first DVD set; The menus are beautiful, and there’s copious easter eggs of the various puppet channels as seen in “Universal Remonster”. The only quibble I have is that the episode order is slightly nonsensical. Not strictly in air date or production order, the order seems to compensate for the DVD menu’s art design. My own theory is that “Universal Remonster” is on disc one just because the Easter eggs are tied into that particular episode, and that the selection of episodes on disc two tie into which episodes have audio commentary. There’s nothing truly egregious about watching in this order, but it still doesn’t seem definitive by any stretch of the imagination.

That aside, this is maybe one of my favorite DVD sets I own. There’s a sense of fun when you explore the contents of this disc. Easter eggs aside, there’s also a fun “hunger imagery” intro sequence, which is mostly culled from a sequence shot for Space Ghost Coast to Coast’s Baffler Meal episode (which is also included on this set as an extra, along with the deleted Baffler Meal intro and a commentary. Other stuff on the disc includes what I initially referred to as an “alternate audio” version of ���Cybernetic Christmas Ghost From the Future”, but it turns out what they did was make his vocal effects apparent in the 5.1 mix of the episode, so I guess listening in plain stereo kinda squashes the effect. I have personally never owned a fancy surround system myself, so I just don’t know.

Other features include Future Wolf II: Never Cry Wolf: Origin of the Series a fun tongue-in-cheek making-of documentary that also includes a space werewolf, Future Wolf III which is just a montage of stills and production art, and deleted scenes from various episodes. It’s all worthwhile stuff. Fuck HBOMax, get the DVDs.

[swiftlymoniquesblog]

How You Two Meet- Harry Potter Preference

A/N: Hello! Well, here is the first of the Harry Potter Preference series! This is my first time writing for Harry Potter, as I’m still kind of new to the whole fandom. Please be gentle with any feedback because I’m really nervous about this. I love the boys in the HP universe; these seven being my top favorites. I hope I have done these boys justice because I tired to be as accurate as possible, like I always try to do with any of my works. Some of the information has been made up but for the most part, everything should be accurate. If there’s something incorrect, please let me know! 

Y/H/H = Your Hogwarts House

Y/L/N = Your last name

Word Count: 2,469

Warnings: Bullying, self-doubt, shyness, FLUFF!

Requests to be tagged in this series is OPEN! Feedback is ALWAYS welcome and greatly appreciated! 

Check out my masterlist of masterlists to see all the fandoms I write for! All fandom requests are currently OPEN! 

-M

Harry: You and Harry met one day in your First Year, when you accidentally bumped into him in a hallway, as you were exploring the grounds of the school, without your house or permission.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention,” you say, looking up to the young boy in front of you, big round eyes focusing in on yours.

“Oh, it’s quite alright,” he says, adjusting his glasses as they have been thrown out of place in the incident.

“Miss (y/l/n), Mr. Potter, what are you two doing outside of your houses? It is after hours and you two are not accompanied by an elder of your houses,” Professor McGonagall said, eyeballing the two First Years suspiciously.

“I’m sorry Professor McGonagall, but I got lost. I heard a disturbing noise coming from one of the paintings and I wanted to make sure everything was okay,” you quickly think up a lie.

“I see, and what about you, Mr. Potter?” Her attention now focusing on the legacy student.

“I heard the noise too and when I came out to look, I noticed Miss (y/l/n) was in the dark so I had my wand to illuminate the wall,” Harry lied too, taking your side.

“I see, well off to bed, the both of you!” McGonagall said, demanding you two headed back to your house before she left swiftly.

“(Y/F/N) (Y/L/N), (Y/H/H).” You say, introducing yourself and house to Harry.

“Harry Potter, Gryffindor, but I guess you knew that already,” he chuckled nervously at his celebrity.

“Well, goodnight, Harry Potter of Gryffindor,” You nod to him.

“Goodnight (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N) of (Y/H/H),” He says, nodding back to you, smiling at you.

Draco:

Draco Malfoy was not your favorite person in the beginning. In fact, you found him quite annoying. He didn’t seem like he was owning up to his potential and was more concerned with being the best and everyone in the class was less than he was, instead of actually focusing on being a good wizard, which infuriated you. It wasn’t like attending Hogwarts was affordable for everyone; you were in on a scholarship. And Draco made sure to let everyone else know, that his father was the esteemed Lucius Malfoy, one of the wealthiest men in England. It was in Snape’s Defense Against the Dark Arts class, where you finally had had enough of Malfoy’s attitude.

“What a failure,” you heard him mutter to his Slytherin friends at one of the students in the class who couldn’t grasp a lesson Snape was teaching.

“You know what Malfoy, no one cares about your Father or all the money you have. The only one who actually cares about any of that is you. You don’t have anything worthy of being at school except for the silver spoon in your mouth that you were born with, so why don’t you go back home to your Father and complain to him about every little inconvenience that you encounter? Maybe he could sympathize with you cause no one here certainly does,” You say, quickly turning back around in your seat to face the front of the class again before Snape had told you to pipe down.

“Wait until my father hears about this,” he mutters that famous arrogant speech, but right behind you, to show you he had more leverage. You froze in your seat, afraid to look back at him until Snape forced him back to his seat.

“That will be all, Mr. Malfoy,” Snape says, shooting daggers at the member of his own House.

Draco rolled his eyes but went back to his seat. You were scared to ever look or approach Malfoy again, but he had other ideas. Yes, you were quite the puzzle piece to Draco and he was going to solve you. No one dared to stand up to him, so why did you?

 Ron:

What can be said about the gingered-hair boy from Gryffindor? Well, he was your best friend and he held your heart. It started when you were paired with him in your First Year Potions class. Not really sure how to put a potion together, you and Ron being paired up, may not have been Professor Snape's best idea. However, you two rose to the challenge and worked well together. It would’ve been worse if Ron didn’t insist on making you laugh but that is what made you succeed. He watched carefully, as you added different ingredients, eager to step in if something went wrong. To both your surprise, you didn’t mess anything up and the potion was mixed perfectly.

“Hmm, yes, it appears that Weasley and y/l/n have completed the potion. Not bad, for the First Years,” Snape said to the class, showing some form of recognition, but you two weren’t sure how to handle his response.

“Wow, you guys, First Years never can get their potions done right the first time,” Hermione said, impressed with your good work.

“Well I can’t take all the credit, Ron really helped out. He made me laugh and that relaxed me so I could focus and then,” you explain, looking to your partner, who just smiled at you.

“She has all the talent here; I just helped,” Ron admits, shrugging his shoulders.

“But I couldn’t have done it without you; thank you, Ron,” you say, picking up your books and leaving the class. You felt his eyes on you as you left the room and you were glad, he couldn’t see the blush that had sprouted on your cheeks.

 Cedric:

“Come on y/n, you have to come watch the Triwizard Tournament with us,” Hermione said to you, as you wanted to just stay in your room and away from the sea of spectators at the first task of the Tournament.

“No, I’m good right here. I’m just going to read up on spells; I need to get better for the next Charms class,” you say, fighting to stay put.

“Really? You’re the best in our class, well besides Hermione of course. You don’t need to practice anything,” said Ginny, who wanted you to go just as much as Hermione seemed to.

“Yeah come on, y/n, Cedric Diggory is going to be there,” Cho teased, as Ginny and Hermione joined in on the giggles of affection for an attractive boy. Sure, you thought Cedric to be cute, but he was one of the most sought-after boys in the Tournament, along with Harry and Viktor Krum. No way would someone like Cedric even know you were alive.

When you had joined the group of students and faculty of Hogwarts as the first task of the tournament began. The champions of each school, went one at a time, to capture an egg from a dragon. This didn’t sound too difficult at first but as you sat on the edge of your seat, watching each champion struggle to get their egg, it proved to be near impossible. However, each champion had eventually achieved their goals and made it to the next round of the tournament.

“Oh alright, if it will get you lot to shut up!” You say, and jump up to get ready; your friends doing the same.

“Hey, let’s go congratulate the winners!” Hermione said, dashing down the stands and to an area where spectators could visit with the champions, as long as they knew one of the champions of course.

“Hi, Harry!” She bounces up to her brunette friend, hugging him immediately. “You did so great, we were all so worried!” Harry chuckled, hugging each of you before he talked about how the first task was for him.

“Hey Potter, good work out there,” a voice from behind you said, suddenly drawing on them.

“Hey, thank you, Cedric. You too,” Harry said, shaking the hand of his opponent, as all the girls had their eyes on the Hufflepuff, even you.

“What? Oh, uh, yeah, good, good job Cedric,” You say softly, avoiding his gaze that was set on you.

“Yeah Cedric, you were amazing, that’s what (y/n) here was saying the whole time you were in the arena,” Cho said, bringing you out of your daze and to the group of students.

“Thank you too, (y/n),” he said, offering you a small smile and eventually starting a friendship with you.

 Neville:

Not being the most popular or liked boy in Hogwarts, is what you drew you to Neville Longbottom. You both enjoyed a lot of the same things and you were always there to help him when he struggled with his spells. The other students would laugh at him when a spell backfired and somehow managed to blow up in his face, quite literally, so you took it upon yourself to help out and stand up for him.

With his first attempt at flying, he had managed to completely lose control and ended up crashing, injuring himself quite seriously.

“Hey, not everyone can get these spells down so easily! It’s not like any of us are on the same levels are Professor Dumbledore or Professor McGonagall or whomever else you want to be like; we’re all beginners. Stop picking on him for not getting something perfect his first try!” You yell at every student in your flying class.

“Neville!” You scream as you see him hurt and you rush over to him before Rolanda Hooch tells you to move aside so she could take him to be cared for.

“Why do you defend him? He’s nothing but a waste of a wizard,” Malfoy says, poking fun at the now injured student.

“Because unlike you Draco, he’s a good person, and sometimes people, even magical ones, need help,” you say back to the Slytherin, who just rolled his eyes.

“Oh of course you’re going to stick up for her, Potter!” Draco snarls back, attempting to falter the confidence of the popular Gryffindor but didn’t fumble.

“Just leave her alone, Malfoy,” Harry said coming to your defense.

“Yeah, I am. I’ll stand up for her, for Neville, for anyone who has to put up with the likes of you,” Harry said and you appreciated his support.

“Thanks, Harry,” you smile at him before rushing off to the hospital wing of the school.

“Now I believe there is someone who could really use a friend right about now,” Harry said, turning to you, with his hand on your shoulder.

 Fred:

Being a few years ahead of you, made it near impossible to get the attention of one of the Weasley twins. You decided you wanted to get as close to the Weasley family as possible, to see if you could at least become friends with Fred. You knew the Weasleys were a family of strong and passionate people, and when they accepted you, you had friends for life. The legacy of the family was starting to form, as you took notice of all the twins did together. They fought alongside one another in every battle and you knew you wanted to be apart of that somehow. Lucky for you, you had grown to befriend Ginny, and when she would invite you over to her house, you got to see first-hand, how Fred was outside of school. It turned out he wasn’t much different from in school, but he had his mischievous side and he had, on occasion, a more quiet side, that you took notice in. Without thinking or trying too hard, you had become friends with all the Weasley kids, with as often as you were at their home. Fred had made a joke about how you should dye your hair red and you’d fit right in.

“No, I’m not going to dye my hair red just to look like you lot! I like being the only one in this house without any red hair. Plus, I’m not even a Weasley so it doesn’t matter,” You say as you shrug your shoulders.

“Don’t say such a thing, (y/n) you are a huge part of our family, especially since someone here is quite taken with you,” Molly said, shooting a wink your way. Your eyes widened as you thought of who of the Weasleys could like you.

“It’s Fred by the way. He’s just fascinated with you,” George says, coming over to you while you were in the kitchen helping Ginny with the dishes.

“Yep, call it a twin thing, but I know when my brother likes someone and I know he’s interested in you. He’s just testing the waters right now, but don’t be surprised if he ends up asking you out,” and with that, George was gone.

“What?” You say, surprised to hear that anyone liked you.

 George:

Much like his twin brother, George was resilient at cracking jokes, making everyone laugh and befriending nearly anyone he came in contact with.  Both Weasley twins fought long and difficult battles but their bond was unbreakable, and it was admirable, to say the least. You had shared a class with him every year, and you always sat close behind him and Fred. Surely, the twins were very similar to the other yet very different. It was originally his idea to one day open a toy store but that was a far-off cry from his day-to-day classes as a fifth year. It was then, that he began to show an interest in befriending you.

“Hey, you’re (y/n) right?” He had come over to sit beside you during your lunch hour at school.

“Um, yes,” you said, not sure as to why he was talking to you. He was never rude to you before, but he and his brother always seemed occupied with other friends at school or with his family.

“Well, I just wanted to see if you were okay. I noticed you hadn’t been sitting around me and Fred anymore so I hope you’re okay,” he commented, looking right into your eyes.

“Well yeah, you’ve sat behind us every year now. You think I didn’t notice a pretty face like yours?” He compliments, causing heat to rise on your cheeks.

“You noticed that?” You ask, surprised that he paid any attention to you.

"I guess not," you said, brushing hair behind your ear. “But yes, I am okay, I just…nothing is wrong, thanks,” you avoid the real reason you couldn’t sit near him anymore, but he pushed an idea on you.

You thought about it for a minute, but eventually, took his hand and followed him to where his brothers and sister sat. You had made it a routine to sit with the Weasley children every day, immediately enjoying their company and surprisingly, they accepted you too.

“Well, how about you come and sit with me and my brothers and sister for lunch? You don’t need to be sitting alone,” he said, standing from his seat and offered you a hand up.

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[scone-lover]

@findingniamho​

HAHAHAHA thank you so much for this ask!!! ❤️ This is exciting. Honestly the Egghead fight was one of the most entertaining scenes to write. (Coming up with all the puns was an egg-celent time.) Rereading it just now was like an out of body experience 😂 

Link to the original chapter here - passage & commentary below the cut!

So I have to start with how this scene was born. This is a Simon scene. He’s had a couple fight scenes with Vampire, but I wanted to show him off as the superhero of the city. What was he doing before Vampire appeared on the scene? What are his strengths and weaknesses? Despite the scene’s silliness, it’s also one of the first where we start to get a sense of what Mayor Mage is up to. 

So I knew I wanted him to do the typical defending-the-city thing, and showcase him and Penny as the dread companions power duo.

Besides the plot stuff, my main goal was to make this scene as ridiculously, stereotypically comic book-ish as possible. 😂Hence, Egghead the Villain.

Most of the credit for Egghead goes to my friend -- they’re really into DC and helped me with a lot of the plot stuff in this fic and making things semi-realistic. (Every time you read a clever plot point, it was probably them. 😂) For this non-Vampire fight, my friend suggested a gangster who was doing crimes and bribing the police. Hence this exchange--

“Okay, okay, um-- fuck. Did you call the police?” She huffs. “Yes, and I think they’ve been fucking bribed, because they pretended they didn’t even know who Egghead was! Can you believe that?”

I made him a repeat villain because honestly, I just thought it was more compelling that way. They know who he is already, Simon can grumble about him, they have egg-themed quips at the ready, etc. 😂 

As for the name, Egghead. I love how it came together because Simon is a baker, and I was able to work a couple baking jokes in there eventually. But in reality, it was me begging my superhero expert friend (named t below) to help me out with crafting this villain and coming up with some witty exchanges. A transcript of our conversation with the brainstorming and some of the rejects--

t: the gangster has a nickname right? he has to if he’s a supervillain t: make it a gimmick t: like if he has a red outfit call him mr. red or something t: he has a flamethrower and call him dragon (this made it in, later) me: Vampire already has a flamethrower t: they can be forced to fight him together me: Vampire is at home studying bc he’s a NERD t: ok he can be bald and simon can call him egghead me: THANKS I HATE IT t: simon throws him on the ground at the end of the fight - that was over-easy me: I hate you where do you get this shit t: I mean it’s typical superhero stuff t: he wears yellow and white and deals crack me: This fic is so food themed I love it t: that’s your villain. that’s it. t: listen, if the Flash can have an ice skating villain, YOU CAN HAVE EGGHEAD. And he was born.

(And yes, The Flash does have an ice skating villain. AND SHE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE ICE POWERS.)

Okay, let’s do this! Warning that this is definitely going to go through more than 500 words of the chapter. 😂 

Men dressed in black suits with bright yellow pocket squares. And larger men around the perimeter, wearing grey and holding flashlights. It looks more like a business transaction than anything; there are briefcases and money being passed back and forth, hands being shaken. “Hey!” I call. There are six men, and they all turn to stare at me, and then make a run for it. The flashlight beams dart wildly and I hear a few of them clatter to the floor. Everyone starts yelling at once and looking for an escape.

I basically watched an episode of Brooklyn-99 and crafted the warehouse drug deal based on that. 

“Don’t move. There’s only one exit,” Penny says in my ear. “And you’re standing in front of it.” I stand my ground, but no one comes near me. The suited guys stay slightly behind the muscular ones. Finally, one of them steps forward. “Mage’s Head Boy. Come to tell us off?”

This scene was also an opportunity to have Penny in Simon’s ear! I wanted them to work together more closely than just talking about superhero stuff - I wanted Penny to be invaluable to Simon’s superhero success and in on the action, too. She’s kind of modeled after Oracle from Batman throughout this fic. 

Mage’s Head Boy is a pretty transparent CO reference. 

There are times when I’m grateful for my ability to just have muscles and growl at people and make them disappear, and there are times when I wish I was witty like Vampire. This is definitely the second. I can’t think of a response to that. Luckily, I have a best friend with a head full of wit. “Tell them to fuck off,” Penny says. Then again, maybe not. What would Vampire say? I get hot and frustrated in the face of danger. He seems to get cooler the higher the stakes get. I fall into a fighting stance. “You wish.” The guy takes a step backwards. “But since I can’t bring you to the police, I suppose I’ll just have to teach you a lesson.” “That was good,” Penny says in my ear.

I obviously had to work a bit of Baz jealousy / crushing into this. I like the idea of Penny being super blunt. She’s smart and sometimes witty, but more often she just says it like it is. “Cooler the higher the stakes get” was a direct reference to the similar line in Carry On. With Simon’s last line - this scene was all about showcasing him as a “typical” superhero that you’d find in a comic, fighting a classic comic book villain. So I gave him one of those cheesy lines.

I’m surrounded. There must be fifteen or twenty of them. Eight huge muscular guys, and the rest in suits. They form a loose circle around me. Almost all of them wield knives, but I don’t see any guns so far.

I knew from the outset I wanted this to be a one-against-many fight. At this point in the story I’d set up a good dynamic for Blade vs Vampire, but not so much Blade vs. other city threats. What makes him a trustworthy hero? Simon’s origin story is that he got news attention by fighting off a group - so putting him in this group fight setting was a chance for him to shine.

A man steps out from the shadows. He’s bald, with a straight, dark mustache, and he’s wearing a pristine white suit and a shirt the colour of an egg yolk. “Egghead,” I say in what I hope is a threatening tone. The name sounds absurd. I’m glad the mask covers my mouth, because I don’t think I can keep a straight face. Penny coughs. Benedict Eggerton, better known as Egghead, is a drug lord who wears yellow and deals… crack. (I know.) (He got into crime early; his parents were poachers.) (Okay, I made that one up. I can’t help it.) I put him in jail earlier this year, but he escaped and fled north.

I was laughing so hard while writing this. You can see in the text exchange above where the suit and nickname came from. I was trying to come up with what his first name might be (my first idea was Sunny). I was so amused when I finally thought of Benedict. 😂 The poachers line is also from my friend T, and the “north” is a reference to Scotland, which comes back later as the Scotch Egg joke.

I draw my weapon, trying to look as menacing as possible. “I remember your blade being bigger,” he says, eyeing my kitchen knife. “Is it too cold for you in here?”

PFFFFFT I LOVE THIS JOKE okay so. I originally made Simon forget his sword because I thought the fight would be too easy - and going back to what I said above, he’s kind of returning to his “roots” with this fight - that spark he has that makes him a hero. And then I wrote the line “I remember your blade being bigger.” TO BE CLEAR, this was not originally intended as an innuendo. 

And then my friend said something like ‘he should turn up the heating in this warehouse then’, and I was like OH DING DING DING PENIS JOKE! 😂I’m oblivious sometimes. I’m glad I realized in time because this is honestly one of my favorite villain lines I’ve ever written.

I really, really wanted to give the “too cold” line to Vampire. It would be perfect for him. But Simon always has his normal sword with Vamp, so Egghead it was. And he instantly became an icon. 😂 

I twirl the knife between my fingers. “I can crack you anyway.” “Good effort,” Penny whispers. “But a bit rough on the delivery. 'Take a crack at you' might have been better...” “Sword or no sword,” I continue, “you’ll be an egg wash by the end of this.” “What?” Penny says. “Is that a baking reference?” Egghead cracks his knuckles, and his men rush me.

Much like Penny does later in the scene, I had a tab open of egg-related words up while writing this. I had to work in the baking reference. But a terrible one. There’s a French term for whisking eggs that basically translates to “beating eggs into snow” - and I wish it was a thing in English, because, you know, Simon Snow. Oh well. 😂 

I Google a list of ways to make eggs. Simon needs to win this fight, but more importantly, he needs to get some egg-themed one-liners in there to show them who’s boss. Chances like this don’t come around very often. 

Listen, Penny is very dedicated. I love the idea of heroes just being quick-witted and coming up with these ridiculous quips on demand. But ultimately, I thought it was funnier - and more in character for Penny - to do this. (Even though her Superhero name is Quickwit, oops.) She has the world of Google at her disposal. Egg puns may not seem important, but superhero image and reputation is half the battle.

Simon is being attacked from all angles, but he fights like a whirlwind. The bulky guys attack first, mostly with their fists. Simon kicks their legs out from under them. He throws them across the floor like they weigh nothing. “Behind you!” I say. Simon spins around and disarms the man behind him, twisting his arm, and I hear a shout through my earbuds. He grabs the guy’s knife and kicks him in the stomach, sending him sprawling. Simon Snow faces fifteen men with nothing but two knives, looking like he’s ready to explode.

I loved writing this from Penny’s POV. I am used to writing fight scenes from the POV of the person fighting, so this was definitely a cool challenge. It’s part of why I brought Penny into the scene in the first place - so I could show Simon in third person. Almost like we’re watching a movie and getting some overhead shots. From his POV, you don’t realize quite how awesome he is. So getting to showcase him like this was really fun.

I still have to wonder how Shepard knew… well, everything. 

Don’t tell anyone but I didn’t know yet either

“He’s Scottish,” I tell Simon. “Scotch Egg.”

I know. This one’s bad.

He’s a blur of gold and white in motion. He throws his knife—I have no idea where he learned to do that—and it embeds itself in one of the men’s legs. He rolls across the floor, picking up two more discarded knives.

I don’t do a ton of plotting/outlining with fight scenes, but one thing I decide in advance is where and how everyone gets hurt. I didn’t want Simon to win the fight too easily, but I did need to injure him somehow. So it wouldn’t be too easy, but also to serve as a counterpoint to the socks thing later.

I watched a lot of action sequences to write this fic, especially with the trickier one vs. many scenes. 

Simon tosses him like a sack of flour.

Couldn’t resist the baker!Simon reference.

“Hard or soft boiled,” I whisper. “Which way is it gonna be, Egghead? Hard or soft boiled?” Simon shouts. He whispers to me, “That was stupid.” Egghead raises an eyebrow. “Last chance to leave us alone, Blade.” I consult my list of egg dishes. “Give up before you get scrambled.” Simon twirls his blades. I love it when he does that; he looks like Deadpool. “It’s your last chance to surrender before you get scrambled.”

I loved the hard or soft boiled line at first. And then I wrote it down and said it out loud, just to check, and it sounded SO DUMB. 😂I almost took it out, but then figured—Simon is probably not going to think this through, either.

Maybe the Deadpool line was a bit on the nose here, but I wanted to give readers some really vivid imagery of what Simon looks like right now with these dual wicked blades kitchen knives.

“I prefer my eggs… poached,” he says. 

Even though Egghead has turned out to be quite a serious villain—there are guns, drugs, and a backstory—he is, after all, original master of the egg puns. He would never turn down this opportunity.

Egghead scrambles (ha) to his feet

I think Penny is just me in this.

“Over-easy,” I whisper.

“That was over-easy,” he says.

Not my best. But it had to be in there.

I’ll skip the serious bits, since the plot there is pretty self-explanatory, to this:

I wish he’d asked what we serve, because I have so many egg puns at the ready. Eggs-ecution. Hash-ing out justice. Karma served hard.  

My beta ashspren gave me this line, and I could not be more grateful. Imagine the chapter without this. It would be a shame.

Here are a few egg puns that didn’t make the cut, SADLY:

You're washed out, egghead

*Egghead gets angry* hey, it was just a yolk

I had to go "beat" some eggs

*uppercut* Sunny side UP!

I'll bash in your Eggnoggin’

Some people are just bad eggs

Sorry this is so long—this has been a purely self-indulgent experience. Thanks so much for this ask, I really enjoyed writing this and I hope you like it! ❤️ 

[missblissy]

SO I ACCIDENTLY DELETED THE ASK BUUT! Anon asked about my OCs so here they are ;v;

These are my two important children. I do not have their demon forms drawn out yet because THIS IS A VERY OLD REF OF THEM ((I drew this in 2017. I do not have a working tablet but im GETTING ONE FOR CHRISTMAS SO IM GONNA BE DRAWING AGAIN SOON!! This is just their general bio, not necessarily Hazbin hotel))

Sage Helvig:

Age: 26 Gender: Female Race: Mixed. Japanese/Europen Descent.   Status: Alive Build/Body Type/Physical Frame: Smol Height: 4′9″ Weight: 160 lbs Skin: White Hair: Long black hair that stops above her waist, wavy but little to nose curls Eyes: Blue Other defining features/extra anatomy: Has many piercings on her ears, both ears are completely covered with piercings. Voice: Soft-spoken and relatively monotone. Doesn’t express a lot of emotions when speaking. Often mistaken for being tired. Style: POP PUNK!!! EDGY!!! EMO!!!!

Loves/Favorites: - Tol Husband - Magic/Pagan worship - Japanese cuisine and culture - Archery/Bowhunting - Studying Mythology - Pepsi ((She’s addicted)) - ALL BREAKFAST FOOD - And fruits. She prefers fruit over candy - Chemistry - Cleaning ((It’s a form of therapy for her)) - Science ((in general)) - Crabs ((She keeps them as pets and thinks they are the cutest things every)) - Winter and Fall - Swords/Daggers/Blades

Hates: - Candy, like unnaturally sweet things ((like taffy, lemon drops, sour patch kids, etc etc)) - Math - Cooking - Most internet culture. - Evil/Dark spirits/Demons ((Anything malevolent)) - People who don’t know how to shut up about cars - Bugs - Spring and Summer

Hobbies: - Studying different culture’s mythology/history/religions. - Witchcraft/Spellcasting - Demon slaying - Archery - Chemistry - Swordsmanship

Hopes/Dreams: - To one day rid the world of all demonic and malevolent spirits. - Have a daughter of her own and raise her the way she was raised - To become a skilled and honorable Demon Slayer

Fears/Nightmares: - Anything bad happening to Van or her brother - Death - Demonic possession ((Ya know, being possessed and shit)) - Hurting the innocent. - Getting sent to Hell

Best Quality: - She is a skilled Demon Slayer who has seen more combat than the average person. She used a mix of a short bow, rapier and magical abilities when hunting and fighting demons and spirits Greatest Flaw: - She doesn’t put enough trust and faith into those around her. She struggles with taking on to much at once and burning herself out. She tries to hard to fix everything by herself and tends to push the people she cares most away from her. How does the character picture himself/herself? - She doesn’t see or view herself as the legend she is slowly becoming. She’s very humble and feels as though she is at the bottom of the ladder when it comes to anything she does. There is always room for improvement. How do others see him/her? - One of the best Demon Slayers there are out there, many people are fame struck when the come meet her because she is from a long demon slayer that dates back to some of the earliest centries of human culture and society. This causes her and Van to move a lot.

Most valued possession: - The rapier sword that she was gifted too by her father as he died from a fatal wound during a battle with a demon. It is the same rapier sword that she used to kill said demon that murdered her father.

Is he/she motivated by possibility or necessity? - Necessity. She knows that she is needed because there are so few people left on the planet with gifts like hers ((I.e Magical abilities)) How does he/she view the future and/or the past? - Sage thinks there is a grim future for humanity and has little faith in those around her. She tries not to think about the past either but uses it as motivation to keep moving forward. What is his/her philosophy on life and death? - She fears death more than anything, only because she doesn’t know what kind of afterlife she will have. Sage doesn’t think death is the end, and believe there is life beyond death. She wants to live as long as she can, possibly growing old with Van. What kind of energy level do they usually have? Sleepy and depressed. She’s not a bubbly person and is very serious and stoic and quiet.

Does he/she have a temper? Yes but only if you push her to the edge or if she’s been cornered in some way.

Polite or rude? Rude Stingy or generous? Generous Leader or a follower? Leader More happy by themselves or in a group? By herself What is his/her sexual preference/experience/values? - Sage is bisexual, monogamous, and demisexual. Before she married Vanderlinde she dated both men and women. She doesn’t sleep around and find causal sex repulsive ((for her, she doesn’t care what other people do with their sex lives)) -History/Background- - Sage was born from a Japanese mother and a German father. She was born in Japan but her family moved around every few years due to being members of a secret society dedicated to exterminating demons. Her mother is still alive however her father died when she was 17 years old in a fatal battle with a Demon. - She has spent almost her entire life working for a secret society of demon slayers, which she took on as a full-time job after her father died. - Sage has an older half brother named Kael, they share the same mother but a different father. - She received formal schooling through the secret soceity she worked for. She was able to still get her high school education while traveling around the world to slay demons. - She met Vanderlinde when she was 20 years old and after just moving to the United States. Vanderlinde was a priest at the time and Sage had just enrolled in university for a chemistry degree. They quickly fell in love and Sage welcomed Vanderlinde into her secret society with open arms and Vanderlinde happily joined.

((There is so much more to Sage’s backstory I’m just TIRED and SLEEPY so this is all ya’ll get.))

___________________________________________

Vanderlinde Helvig:

Age: 31 Gender: Male Race: Cucasion, Scandinavian descent. Status: Alive Build/Body Type/Physical Frame: Tol Height: 6′0″ Weight: 230 lbs Skin: White Hair: Short blonde fluffy hair Eyes: Green Other defining features/extra anatomy: He has several tattoos, all of them are based of Nordic Mythology, Nordic Ruins, and Scandinavian Vikings Voice: Deep but soothing. Imagine what butter would sound like if it could talk.SMOOTH Style: Business Causal, he’s a professor so he wears a lot of dress shirts and sweaters. This boy loves his cashmere sweaters.

Loves/Favorites: - His smol wife - Music ((He loves pop punk, rock, grunge, metal, etc etc)) - THE LORD ALL MIGHTY - Sunday Prayer - His Students - Teaching - Nordic Mythology - Cooking - PEACE AND LOVE - Coffee and tea. - Summer and Fall - Going to concerts/rock shows - Motorcycles

Hates: - Spring and Winter - Unnecessary arguments/debates - People who refuse to educate themselves - Lazy Students - Grading paper work - People who don’t know how to drive - Demonic/Evil Spirits - Pepsi ((He’s a Coke-a-cola person)) - Alcohol ((And Drunk people. If you are drunk he won’t even try and talk to you))

Hobbies: - Reading - Writing ((He’s written many books about religious study books)) - Exploring the unknown ((He breaks your modern Indiana Jones tbh lmao)) - Providing Exorcisms/religious healing/cleanings - Working out/staying fit - Researching religions and mythology

Hopes/Dreams: - WORLD PEACE - That everyone can be happy and treated equally - To destroy every demonic/evil spirit - To have a child one day, just one. Doesn’t matter if it’s a boy or a girl he’ll love them the same. - To be recognized worldwide for his work and struggles.

Fears/Nightmares: - Losing Sage ((In any way. Like if she’s killed or if she leaves him etc etc.)) - Becoming possessed and harming people. - The Devil/Lucifer/Satan - Demonic spirits ((He’s always afraid of them even if he’d confronted by them)) - Heights/Being up high - The ocean

Best Quality: - Vanderlinde is a very mild-mannered person. It’s hard to piss him off, he’s very calm and collective and has incredible control over his emotions. People often describe him with a “healing” personality and an “open mind.” Greatest Flaw: - He lets his fears control him. Too often he runs away from things that quiet literally scare him. He is not a fighter and doesn’t enjoy fighting, he’d rather run away defend himself or those around him. This often leads people to say he is cowardly. How does the character picture himself/herself? - Vanderlinde sees himself as a weak softy who can’t win a single physically fight. He doesn’t have a lot of self-confidence so he doubts himself and his skills way too much. He thinks he a push-over that anyone could walk all over. How do others see him/her? - Many people view Vanderlinde as an incredibly intelligent and kind professor who cares about his student’s education more than anything in the world. ((Next to his love for Sage)) People describe him as a very kind and loving person with a big heart.

Most valued possession: - His rosary, he carries it with him always. It was a gift to him from a priest that change his views on Christianity and other religions.

Is he/she motivated by possibility or necessity? - Necessity. Vanderlinde knows there aren’t enough people in the world fighting the dark forces. He knows it is his duty to educate the masses about what is going on when no one is looking. How does he/she view the future and/or the past? - Vanderlinde hopes for a pretty and peaceful future, a safe world where his child can grow up without fear. What is his/her philosophy on life and death? - Vanderlinde does not fear death, he knows that he is going to Hell anyway, so he might as well enjoy his life to the fullest until that day comes. What kind of energy level do they usually have? He’s very relaxed, calm and cool. He’s known for wearing a comforting smile and using healing words to lift people up and make them feel better about themselves.

Does he/she have a temper? No. Vanderlinde has incredible control over his emotions. Even when he’s pissed off he’s still nice, happy, and trying his best to please others.

Polite or rude? Polite Stingy or generous? Generous Leader or a follower? Leader More happy by themselves or in a group? By himself What is his/her sexual preference/experience/values? - Vanderlinde is a straight monogamous male. He’s experimented before here and there but he prefers women for the most part. He is very private about his sex life and gets very uncomfortable when people talk/ask about it. -History/Background- - Vanderlinde grew up in an orphanage for wayward boys, he never knew his parents and refuses to look into them. He was born in the United States. He doesn’t want to know why or how he ended up at the orphanage. It was run by a Catholic church, where he grew up with a deep faith in the Lord. He began to question his faith when the Priest he looked up to had passed away. - Around 18 years old Vanderlinde left the orphanage and went on a soul searching journal across the United State. He was homeless during this time as he traveled cross country, drinking, doing drugs and learning about all different types of faith. When he turned 20 he turned back to the Church and became a priest for the next five years. - He met Sage when he was 25, she was 20 at the time. Because she was a pagan witch, Vanderlinde was punished for getting himself involved with her. At the same time, he also got in trouble for researching other religions other than Christianity. He chose to renounce his priesthood and left the church because he did not agree with their rules. After that, Vanderlinde worked towards becoming a professor at the local university where he could freely research and teach others - After he fell in love with Sage, Vanderlinde joined her secret society, more than happy to join a cause he believed in and was willing to fight for.

((Again, there is so much more to Vanderlinde’s back story but Im just so tired and I wanted to quickly summarize the 20 pages I have for these two dorks.))

[themattress]

Wow. Tomoko Kanemaki SUCKS!

I decided to be masochistic and read back through the KH2 novels by Tomoko Kanemaki. And I just have to say: that there are actually people out there who like her writing and consider it to be in as good or superior to the games astounds me. These books are awful.

When they just straight-up adapt the game to text like the KH novels and the COM novels (except for the R/R one, but R/R sucks anyway), it’s fine. They even do the visits to Land of Dragons, Beast’s Castle and Olympus Coliseum better than the KH2 manga does, plus swaps in Agrabah for the far more important Port Royal. But that’s the only good thing I can say about them. In literally every other regard, the game and manga are infinitely superior.

The main problem is simple to sum up: Kanemaki is a fanfic writer. A pretty stereotypical KH fangirl. This in of itself wouldn’t be a problem if she weren’t adapting the games, but she is, and when she combines the game adaptations with her own fanfic based on what she wants to see, there is inevitably going to be a clash between them. The story written by Kazushige Nojima that she is adapting to novel form does not gel at all with what she writes, and as a result she has to either change that story (to the detriment of both it and its characters) or she neglects to change it even when it directly contradicts her own writing. This happens so much that it really makes for an excruciating reading experience. So let me list all of my problems with these novels point by point, to clarify just why Kanemaki’s writing fails so hard.

- I’ll get the biggest one out of the way right off the bat: Kanemaki is obsessed - and I mean obsessed - with the existential plight of the Nobodies, which includes the Draco in Leather Pants treatment to Organization XIII (”Is it really wrong to seek what you’ve lost?” is asked at one point, as though it’s a profound question. Um, when you’re doing so by inflicting that exact same loss upon millions of innocent people, yes it is!) The worst part is that characters (usually Namine, but Axel, Riku, Saix, Xemnas and even Ansem the Wise get on it at some points) are constantly repeating the exact same angsty inner monologues and internal (and sometime external) quasi-philosophical debates about Nobodies. I’m not kidding, it’s usually word-for-word. “Is it right for Nobodies to exist?” “Nobodies have nowhere to go or call home”. “Do Nobodies really lack hearts?” “What defines a heart?” “If Nobodies don’t have hearts, then why do they feel such-and-such?” “Why were Nobodies even born?” “Nobodies aren’t meant to exist, but does that still mean...?” And so on and so on, blah, blah, BLAH. Hearing this over and over and over and OVER again throughout my reading of the novels doesn’t make me more sympathetic of the Nobodies, it actually makes me less sympathetic and want them to go away so I don’t have to keep reading the same damn woe-is-me grade school-level existentialism! I want to keep reading about Sora, Donald and Goofy, damn it!

- Three characters who were mostly on the sidelines in KH2 somehow get a majority of time and focus here: Riku, Axel and Namine. They are even forced into an apocryphal trio together. They are basically treated as the de-facto secondary main characters next to Sora, Donald and Goofy, with their actions and development being given equal importance. Actually, that’s a lie - Riku, Axel and Namine are honestly given more importance. There is so much wrong about this - not only does the trio not feel organic and reek of bad fanfic, but each character in it isn’t well portrayed at all compared to the game or even the manga.

- Riku had the most potential, since he’s always a major character and a more talented writer could’ve come up with more feasible things for him to have been doing off-screen during KH2. But what Kanemaki has him do is ridiculous. If it’s not just stalking Sora, Donald and Goofy as a silent protector (which is the least interesting thing you could do with him), it’s bullshit with Axel and Namine, or fighting Saix midway through even though Kanemaki still keeps Saix’s later line of “Didn’t Roxas take care of you?”, or having him fight Xemnas in the Old Mansion only for Ansem the Wise to show up and Xemnas then just...retreat for no reason, letting Ansem live and thus ensuring the later destruction of his Kingdom Hearts like a dumbass!  And through all of this, she frequently makes Riku default back into snarky, arrogant asshole mode, which doesn’t fit his character at this point at all. Also, while I saw no deliberate yaoi bait in the writing of the KH2 game, it’s definitely present in these novels.

- Axel. Oh my God. Anyone who hates what was done with him as Lea in the games, you should blame Kanemaki, since she actually ran with that kind of writing and characterization for him in these novels long before that happened in the games. He is treated as a totally trustworthy good guy who is a great friend to Roxas, Riku and Namine. The one dick move Kanemaki has him make is quickly backtracked on and then swept under the rug. His whole villainous role is whitewashed at every turn, from both what he intended with Roxas (legit deciding to kill him is changed to attempting a murder/suicide so that he can die with his best friend) to everything concerning Kairi (no, he didn’t kidnap her at all, that point is hammered in frequently, he was going to take her to Namine and they’d then see Sora together! And he didn’t want to turn Sora into a Heartless, that was a wrongful assumption on Saix’s part! And Saix summoned those Dusks on Destiny Islands, not Axel! Axel is chivalrous and heroic and does everything possible to protect and save Kairi! Gag me.) It’s so obnoxious, and beyond removing all of the character’s edge, it’s a blatant case of giving a character a major role in a story that they aren’t supposed to have one in just because he’s a favorite of the writer.

- Namine is an equally blatant case of this, but her case might be even worse. Not only is she THE source of the repetitive woe-is-me existential Nobody monologues and debates, with her whole character arc being changed to revolve around this which honestly makes her unintentionally unsympathetic and annoying, but this portrayal of her has a negative effect on her in both fandom and canon. In terms of fandom, a cult of bad apples (usually yaoi fangirls who already hated Kairi) arose around Namine following KH2, declaring her as superior to Kairi in every way and worthy of being the real main heroine of the KH series. Not only is this false, but it arguably got started because of these novels (translations of which had made their way online long before they were localized), where a character who literally only got 10 minutes of screentime in the game literally gets transformed into the main heroine and one of the most frequently appearing characters in general, even if her “character development” is horribly written and amounts to her being a mouthpiece for Kanemaki’s views. Then again, maybe they just projected onto Namine due to her introverted, fond-of-drawing nature, and Kanemaki was just one of them and thus produced something that kept them going. It’s a Chicken/Egg type of thing, I guess. But whatever the case, what it did in canon was worse. Kanemaki was the first to write for Namine after KH2, in 358/2 Days, and her characterization of her translated in game form to the stagnant caricatured plot device that Nomura then realized was easy to write for and convenient for making other convoluted plot turns happen. 

- Come to think of it, Kanemaki’s partnering up with Nomura for Days probably did a lot more harm than just with Namine. Because her obsession with the “What Measure is a Non-Human?” trope never truly leaves the series after Days. It doesn’t pop up in BBS, since that was being worked on before Days, but everything afterwards is sure to feature it in some abysmal way or another, whether it be Nobodies, replicas, data copies or beings of pure darkness. The “Nobodies have hearts after all” comes straight from her writing (even if she had it as a needless overcomplication of the original idea that strong hearts can share feelings with those without it and thus serve as a heart for them too, while Nomura’s retcon is just “Nah, the body can regrow a heart, Xemnas lied”.) A lot of KH3′s worst writing might have not existed had Nomura not picked up on Kanemaki’s fixation with woobified “non-beings”.

- Sora honestly feels like an afterthought for Kanemaki. She’s so eager to write new fanficcy material for other characters, but not for the actual main protagonist, who only gets straight-up game adaptation. Oh, except that some of his lines that were “mean” to the Nobodies (and thus “OOC”, as both KH2-hating anon and Kanemaki seem to think) are changed or cut out.

- Y’know how the KH2 manga made Kairi even better than her game portrayal? Yeah, well this novel makes her far worse. First off, her defiant “you’re not acting very friendly!” to Axel is cut because Axel is whitewashed in that moment (he even readies himself to defend Kairi from the Dusks which Saix summons). Later, she does not get away from Axel because he was never kidnapping her to begin with here. She then realizes that he’s really a good person before Saix kidnaps her, with Axel desperately trying to protect her. She then only shows up toward the end when Axel once again comes to be her hero (again thwarted by that dastardly Saix), with her moping about how she can do nothing to help the brave, noble Axel. (I feel sick just typing this...) In the finale, not only does Kanemaki not take advantage of the potential Kairi development that the game relegated to optional text boxes, but she actually destroys Kairi’s entire arc long before BBS did by making one of her few additions to Kairi be an inner monologue she has on the shore of Destiny Islands alongside Mickey, Donald and Goofy just before Sora and Riku make it back, where she’s just wishing with all her heart that they’ll come back because “We’re here waiting for you. We’ll always wait for you.” BULL-FUCKING-SHIT. Kanemaki, just like Nomura and Oka, clearly has no interest in Kairi as a character on her own. She is used here as a plot device for the character development of Axel and Namine, characters she is interested in, even though Kairi had more significance and screentime than them by far in the actual KH2 game. Geez, even Nojima tried with her!

- Roxas is written just fine during the prologue, since his scenes are just lifted from the game. But when he resurfaces in the final novel, added material make Axel be the most important thing on his mind. Even his final thoughts as he makes the full merging with Sora is that he hopes to meet Axel again. More deliberate yaoi-baiting, and more shoving Axel down our throats. Hell, that last novel is even named “Anthem - Meet Again / Axel Last Stand”. God damn it, Kanemaki, Axel was not important to KH2. It’s not his story. Get over it already!

- Hey, remember how in the game DiZ/ Ansem the Wise did a total character 180 due to offscreen reasons when he came back after the prologue? That was dumb. The novels add new scenes for him, so Kanemaki could actually rectify this issue....OR she just repeats it, since the first new scene she gives him also has him in 180 mode due to offscreen reasons! 

- Xemnas and Saix both have their levels of menace neutered thanks to the existential angst of the Nobodies affecting them too, with none of their inner monologues bemoaning their fates really adding up with their actions. The game let you make up your own mind as to whether you found them sympathetic despite their monstrous behavior, but Kanemaki is clearly trying to force the sympathy angle, and it really lessens them, especially Xemnas. 

- Really, only Xigbar, Xaldin, Demyx, Luxord, and the trio of Hayner, Pence and Olette were written completely accurately out of the KH-original cast. Nothing felt out of place with them.

- Other nonsensical fanficcy events besides what I’ve already mentioned include bringing stuff from COM (like Repliku) back up frequently instead of keeping focus on the story at hand, a totally different version of how Namine and Axel split from Riku following the prologue (one that continues making Namine unintentionally unsympathetic), Riku having Mickey make the promise after the prologue before Kanemaki’s own 358/2 Days retcons this to happening before it, Riku meeting with Maleficent in Hollow Bastion, Mickey meeting with Axel in Hollow Bastion, Axel being the one to wake Goofy up after his “death”, Axel having a sort of odd friendship with Pluto, Ansem the Wise being the one to provide the box of clues for Riku to give, Axel pretending to betray Riku and Namine so that he gets let back into the Organization and thus be able to rescue Kairi, meetings between the Organization where they talk about totally different and less interesting matters than they did in the game, and having Namine stalk the group throughout the finale as she thinks her last pretentious inner monologues. Also, given its subject matter and how it plays during Days’ opening, I swear to God that Kanemaki created the Axel/Roxas ghost scene that Nomura added to KH2:FM. That it shows up in the last novel, word-for-word, a month before KH2:FM’s release, proves this.

- The misplacement of Disney Castle. This one REALLY bothers me. She places Disney Castle between Beast’s Castle and Port Royal in the third novel. This makes no sense whatsoever, since not only was this meant to be Maleficent’s re-introduction to Sora, Donald and Goofy, but now it comes after Maleficent already made an alliance with Sora and his friends at Hollow Bastion! And then all of a sudden, she’s no longer keeping the Nobodies at bay and is back to self-interested villainy! And there isn’t any dialogue explaining this away or anything!  We still have Maleficent saying “If it isn't the wretched Keyblade holder and his pitiful lackeys!” as if she hadn’t agreed to temporarily join forces with said wretched Keyblade holder and his pitiful lackeys! Way to ruin one of the best Disney world visits, Kanemaki!

- The whole finale and especially the ending itself, which were so powerful in both the game and even the manga, has no power in the light novel style of writing Kanemaki uses. Part of that isn’t Kanemaki’s fault, since so much of the finale’s greatness is visual and that obviously can’t be recaptured in text form. And yet she still makes some baffling pacing decisions, with stuff like the aforementioned Namine stalking passages throwing the whole thing off, LOL moments such as Riku himself outright admitting that he has no idea where he got Kairi’s Keyblade also breaking the immersion, character alterations like to Xemnas and Kairi ruining the effectiveness of things they do, and a truly WTF-inducing final chapter where the entire Secret Ansem Report is put before a novelization of both the credits scene where Sora sees Kairi’s drawing in the Secret Place and the epilogue scene where they get the King’s letter.

Overall, these novels just don’t feel like Kingdom Hearts II to me. Even the KH2 manga, the middle of its first half notwithstanding, felt like it. This does not. And that’s because whatever the faults in its narrative, KH2′s story was first and foremost a fun Disney/Square crossover adventure starring Sora, Donald and Goofy, with angsty existentialism merely being one of its themes and meant more for players to think about and discuss rather than the characters. The novels tell a story about angsty existentialism starring characters who think about and discuss it, with Sora, Donald and Goofy’s adventures being a passionless afterthought. That there are people who honestly think that Kanemaki doing this “fleshes out the characters” is shameful. Constant angst and grade school-level philosophical circle-jerking is not character depth. It is pretension of depth, hence the word “pretentious” which fits perfectly here. It takes a lot more than talking and expressing feelings at length to constitute character development. It requires meaningful actions, and it requires some form of growth and change. Kanemaki’s characters are largely static, simplistically characterized beings who spin their wheels in terms of both actions and growth. Riku does not change: you can barely tell he has any kind of depression or has experienced any kind of humbling. Axel does not change: he’s a great guy from the start and has no internal problems to overcome, only the external one of being separated from Roxas. Namine does not change, she goes through the same questioning and angsting over her existence and the existence of other Nobodies until the last minute where the answer just suddenly comes to her (in fact, it was apparently in her all along and she just forgot it. Shades of Sora’s dumbass “Power of Waking” arc in KH3 here...)  Any actual development that happens with some characters (like Ansem the Wise) comes straight from the game...and Nojima didn’t write that all too well either!  There is just very little that’s enjoyable about the KH2 novels to me, and Tomoko Kanemaki’s writing is to blame for that.

In the words of Lemony Snicket: I highly advise you to not read these books.

[nighttimefjaeril]

As promised, here’s more info on the middle-schooler quartet of my Ibun “Kids investigating mysteries with shady uncle Jikaku” AU :’3

Houmei is 12-year old going on 13 (his birthday will happen during the vacation). He lives in Yokohama and is sent to visit his Great Uncle Jikaku for the summer, who used to live and work in Tokyo but has retired in a rural village in the Tohoku region, where he hails from.

Given we literally don’t know anything about Houmei’s backround, I’m having a hard time coming up with anything too specific linked to his family life; as a general rule, I’d say his family situation isn’t the easiest. He lives with a caretaker, and Jikaku is related to them. The two are completely estranged, and the reason he was sent to him was because of issues between him and his caretaker; as he’d become increasingly rebellious and problematic growing up, hoping that Jikaku would straighten him : D But caretaker definitely has issues with their life as well. Overall, things at home aren’t the best and Houmei isn’t all too unhappy to live at his uncle’s for a couple of months, despite having troubles adapting to such a different lifestyle at first : D He’s an extremely intelligent and curious kid, a day-dreamer, and an avid reader of mystery and fantasy novels. He comes off as extremely well-mannered at first, which surprises Jikaku given the situation he was told, but he soon learns that it’s all an act of course : D He knows how to hold a façade in order to get away with things, and is extremely manipulative towards adults and kids his age alike. At first the other boys find him odd as he talks of weird stuff and acts ditzy at times, but as they’re all misfits they end up taking the outsider in pretty much right away. He’s the type to hide his problems , real feelings and thoughts behind a dorky smile. He doesn’t have much interest in leadership, but thanks to his natural charisma and adventurous spirit he ends up being the driving force of the group by default. On the other hand, he can be a bit of a slob at times and gives into laziness easily. Much like Sho'un, he has a problem with authority, but unlike him he’s able to find sneaky ways to break the rules. As for now he has no definite life plans nor dreams; he knows that if he’d work hard enough he could easily enter any college and take on any career, but he also very little interest in formal studies and he’s the type who prefers researching stuff on his own (he has a very broad knowledge for a kid his age, but he’s not driven enough in his studies for his level of intelligence and pretty listless). His favorite subject is literature, but he wouldn’t have troubles with anything if only he applied himself. His hobbies include reading and writing, skateboards, videogames and daydreaming. He’s learning to play guitar but he’s too lazy to practice often (he also has a pretty good voice).

Jyoan is a 13-year old going on 14 (his birthday is in late September). He lives with his mother and two sisters (one older and one younger) and his younger sister’s father. His biological dad is not in the picture. He doesn’t have a good relantionship with his step dad and his family situation also isn’t ideal, and for that reason he tries to stay away from his house as much as possible (he usually stays at Ganpuku’s house most days of the week). His family was also struggling with money a lot in the past, even though nowadays they’re doing better economically after his mother got married again, he’s still known as the “poor kid” at school, and he was being made fun a lot for being… extremely feminine (no day has gone by without him being called a fag by classmates or his step dad). He used to be bullied a lot more in the past, until he started to clam back (also his friendship with dangerous kid Sho'un made the transition easier :D He’s considered a bit of a punk himself by his peers). Of all his friends, he’s the one who hates living in the village the most and dreams of moving in the city as soon as possible. He’s an extremely ambitious and driven kid, and puts his status above all; he lives for receiving praise and attention by others and puts a lot of efforts in everything he does for that; he has good grades but he’s the type to truly shine only in what he likes (he excels in arts). He’s a sensitive boy, pretty mature and deep for his age (or so he thinks lol), but at the same time can act pretty bratty and and has a really bad temper; the more he’s obedient with teachers and authorative figures the worse his attitude towards with his friends and siblings. He’s also extremely foul-mouthed and gets reprimended for it a lot by adults. He may or may not have a one-sided rivalry with Houmei, as he basically represents everything he wishes to be… or so he thinks (not that he would dare to admit that of course). His hobbies include fashion, drawing, pretentious movies and books that are way beyond his comprehension level for his age (but he still watches/reads them anyways ‘cause that’s what cool kids do right?) and singing.

Malcolm (aka Ganpuku) is 13 (he was born the same year as Houmei but has had his birthday already). Being born in May he started school one year earlier and so he’s in the same grade as Jyoan and Sho'un (they’re all classmates as there is only one class per grade in the local middle school, too). He lives with his parents and one older sister, and his family owns the local convenience store. Ever since he was a child he has been helping his parents carrying it voluntarily as he really likes working there, so he spends a lot of time inside the shop. He has quite the business acumen and loves money and hopes to be able to better his family’s average income someday with a business-oriented job. He has a very good relantionship with his parents, especially his mother. His family hails from the US, but he and his sister were born in Japan. Because of their western appearance and names, they have been both seen as outsiders in the village small community and could never really fit in, if not with the other misfits. For that reason he hates using his real name and goes under “Maru” instead, as it’s close to the japanese pronunciation of “Mal”. He and Jyoan have been best friends since kindergarden, and he gets along with his sister a lot too. He’s a very bright, loud and cheerful kid, he’s the friendlist of the trio and he’s the one who accepts Houmei into their group right away. His hobbies include eating and cooking, as well as manga and videogames: one could say he’s a bit more childish than the others, but he’s often more insightful and smarter than people give him credit for. He’s also extremely affectionate and protective of his friends and family. His grade are pretty good, and he’s basically excels in everything his deskmate Jyoan doesn’t and viceversa :D He’s good with maths, science and economics (and English ofc as it’s the language spoken home), while Jyoan is better at humanities and art. He has pretty clear plans for the future and he definitely wants to go to college and land a high-paying job in the economics field, to grant his family and himself financial stability. Much like Houmei, he also falls victim to laziness pretty often, which may be a hindrance to his dreams of success :D (I’ve talked about his hobbies before, I would include that he’s learning to play the piano but wishes to switch to something more “fun”, like drums; he’s also into soccer and baseball and fantasy books/videogames)

Sho'un is 13 going on 14 (his birthday is in December). He’s an only child and his father is a monk and owner of the local temple (in Japan monks can marry and have children). As you can imagine from his appearance and rebellious attitude, he isn’t exactly the dream heir his father wishes, and for that reason his relantionship with his parents are extremely tense. He also tries to avoid being at home as much as possible and sleeps over at either Ganpuku’s or at his cousin Ryuzen’s student apartment in the city(he doesn’t really get along with him all that much, but he likes his cooler roomates better lmao). From a very early age he was considered a “difficult kid” for a his rebellious strike and attraction to… darker things (he’s the type who idolizes yakuza, smokes in the school bathroom and steals shit as a test of courage). For his reason he has a pretty bad reputation in town and peers and thier parents are pretty scared of him. That, coupled with the failed expectations of his parents, just reinforced his bad attitude and made things worse. He used to be pretty lonesome until he became friends with Jyoan and Ganpuku when they started middle school, thanks to their involvement with the music club. In fact music is his biggest passion, he plays bass and guitar and wishes to start a band someday (school band secondary plot? Probably lol). Music and art are the only subjects that interest him, as for the rest he’s a pretty much a slacker who doesn’t put effort in his studies and has terrible grades. He often says that if he can’t make as a musician, he would open a tattoo and piercing studio. Despite his “tough” exterior, he’s actually a pretty laid-back and reserved kid, not very talkative but mindful, and once you get to know him he’s actually very caring and approachable. He’s the type to defend his friends no matter what, and follows his own moral code that doesn’t accept dishonesty nor ambiguity. He has a somewhat melancholic and pessimistic streak that he tries to conceal with his insolence; of all the four he’s the one who has more… grown-up interests (meaning he’s the only one who’s very much into girls, the others are a bit of late-bloomers in comparison^^’); he’s also the one who tries to bond with the older guys via his cousin, and he tries to emulate them. His hobbies include gravure magazines gangster movies, rock and punk music, playing instruments and sketching out tattoo design.

[theycallmebuddy-blog]

My “Family”

As you have guessed by now, the mercs that found me took me in for much longer than they had thought they would, and eventually I became part of their family. I think before I begin creating actual blogs about regular daily life, I had introduce them first.

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Yankee

Real Name: Nathan [REDACTED]

Codename: Yankee

Age: 25 (born [REDACTED], 1980)

Nationality: American (born in Massachusetts, raised in New York)

Specialty: Run and Gun Renegade 

Desc.: 

A rebel of the highest degree, Yankee is a riot to be around. In fact, he’s the closest thing I have to an older brother. He doesn’t have much respect for those he doesn’t like (Megalo, Megalo!) but is quite loyal otherwise. He’s one cocky son-of-a-bitch, on and off the battlefield. His favourite thing to do on the battlefield is disappear, then reappear behind the enemy and give them a nice dose of “Oh shit” before he blows their head off. His favourite thing off the battlefield is watching baseball and spending time with his dog, General Woofers.

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Megalo

Real Name: [REDACTED]

Codename: Megalo

Age: ...we think he’s in his 30s?

Nationality: ...somewhere in Europe.

Specialty: “All known forms of espionage”

Desc.:

Sly, sassy, and downright classy, Megalo doesn’t take anyone’s shit and is ready to tell you if you’re being an idiot. He’s a man of mystery with a dark secret he’ll go to any lengths to hide. He obscures his face with a plastic white mask that’s molded so well to his face that it moves as if it was his face. His heir of mystery is helped by his absolutely indistinguishable accent and his way of never sharing any information about himself. He’s what we call a spy, though he’ll never “degrade himself with such a label”. His favourite thing on the battlefield is to slip away once he’s been caught. His favourite thing off the battlefield is to find out more about you, for better or worse (his regular favourite things to do are reading, writing, and sneaking off base to do god knows what). It doesn’t matter if you have a secret you’re hiding from the rest of the group. Megalo knows.

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Root

Real Name: Daniel Brown

Codename: Root (I think it’s short for Rootin-Tootin but he’s never confirmed or denied)

Age: 41 (born [REDACTED], 1964)

Nationality: American (Texas, born and raised)

Specialty: Speedy Offense/Defense Construction (and occasional shootin’)

Desc.:

Always bettering himself and his craft, Root is a kind soul with a dedication to protection. He’s the fastest builder the world has possibly ever seen, though you’ll never hear that from him. He’s a humble man with enough childhood stories to last you an entire night curled up in a blanket, just listening. He’s often the voice of reason between any fights, though he’s not afraid to defend his honor as well. His favourite thing on the battlefield is when he gets to protect a teammate with his defensive builds. His favourite thing off the battlefield is learning new things (for the past year or so, it’s been mechanics), cooking, and telling stories of his childhood.

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Sergeant 

Real Name: [REDACTED]

Codename: Sergeant

Age: 47 (born [REDACTED], 1958)

Nationality: American (Wisconsin, born and raised)

Specialty: Sharpshot + Military Tactician

Desc.:

Blunt and forever to the point, Sergeant is your guy when it comes to any type of warfare. After being drafted [REDACTED] War between [REDACTED] - [REDACTED], Sergeant found purpose in his life in the loving hands of warfare and bloodshed. He spent [REDACTED] more years in his branch before being honorably discharged. Unfortunately, after being discharged, some of his less savory memories from the War began to haunt him, leading him to cope with copious amounts of alcohol. Recently, Lucifer has taken to developing a type of medicine for his condition that can be taken with alcohol (he doesn’t drink anything else, mind you) to administer to him without notice. Sergeant’s favorite thing on the battlefield is taking out the leader of the enemy forces. His favorite thing off the battlefield is watching old war movies, telling stories of his childhood, and secretly watching the 1985 “Adventures of the Gummi Bears” show (acc. to Megalo).

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Lucifer

Real Name: Victor [REDACTED]

Codename: Lucifer

Age: 38 (born [REDACTED, 1967)

Nationality: Danish (Specific Location Unknown)

Specialty: Medical Sciences + Innovation

Desc.:

A scholar of everything life-saving, Lucifer is the true Mengele of the group. His codename came after he accidentally killed a past group member from performing twenty-three experiments with his self-made equipment on them for three days straight. He’s a bit loose in morals when it comes to thinking of others as people and not experiments, but he does care for his cohorts. In fact, he’s promised them that he will never experiment on a live body again, and now instead uses the cadavers of the enemy forces. His favourite thing on the battlefield is getting to heal a teammate that was close to death. His favourite thing off the battlefield is classical Beethoven and working on his “respawninator”...whatever that is.

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Miss Quill

Real Name: Emma Quill 

Codename: Miss Quill

Age: 24 (born [REDACTED], 1981)

Nationality: British (birthplace unknown, raised in London) 

Specialty: Administrator of the Mercs + Technological Genius

Desc.:

Despite being the youngest of the team, Miss Quill has quite possibly the most important job. She works closely with a person only known as “The Agent”, who secretly oversees the company from the shadows. Miss Quill’s job is to act as ringleader to the rest of the mercenaries, as well as run some of the tech in their base supplied by the company. She’s a mild-mannered, kind, and understanding genius who loves being able to help as much as possible, even if it means giving up something of herself. Her favourite thing on the battlefield is the victory, knowing she’s done a good job administrating her team. Her favourite thing off the battlefield is reading, listening to jazz/swing music, cooking, and teaching me the ways of life.

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As for me...well, I’ll try to fill in what I can.

Buddy

Real Name: Amélie Quill (previous name unknown)

Codename/Nickname: Buddy

Age: 14 (born Unknown, 1991) ((found after numerous tests))

Nationality: ...we think I’m Puertorican? Or Mexican?

Specialty: Parkour/Dodge Gunning + Robotic/Technological “Innovator”

Desc.:

After waking up in a desert, I spent 578 days searching for any signs of salvation. I found it in my “family”. I work with my “family” in the merc business, but have since been put on unpaid vacation so I may resume my schooling (against my wishes). I’d do anything to save my family, even if it means risking life and limb. My favourite thing on the battlefield is to watch the dazed look on my enemy’s face when I manage to dodge their bullets and simultaneously win the high ground. My favourite thing off the battlefield is writing, drawing (I’m finally starting to learn digital art), and listening to punk, rock, or and swing music.

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[ddproductionsw77]

Just Go To Sleep, Riles

Fandom: Girl Meets World

Pairing(s): Riarkle

Characters: Riley Matthews and Farkle Minkus

Rating: K

Description: Riley is trying to study for her Russian Lit exam but she just can’t concentrate.

Author’s Note: So, I have headcanons of the Riarkle-children and like how they all come to be and all that… this is basically born from that. IF YOU HAVE A RIARKLE ONE-SHOT REQUEST SEND IT MY WAY!!!

“Sophia Mars Minkus, you are making it very hard for Mommy to study.”

Riley grumbled and threw down the Dostoyevsky novel she’d been pouring over for hours now. Her hand slipped to the swell of her stomach, feeling a small kick against the tips her fingers. Her daughter, it seemed, was tired of studying and restless.

“Well, what do you want me to do, Bug? I gotta pass this exam.” Riley asked, tracing patterns over the fabric of her— well, Farkle’s —shirt with her fingernails.

The baby had started moving almost the second she was expected to and hadn’t seemed to stop since. These days, Riley was lucky to sleep through the night without feeling a sharp kick or a bout of hiccups and while she was elated that her daughter was healthy, she was also exhausted.

The baby kicked again, hard into Riley’s ribs, in response.

Well, that's too bad, Mommy...

Flinching and rubbing at her tummy, the brunette pulled herself to the side of the bed she’d been sitting on and just managed to get herself to her feet. Giving her head a moment to adjust to the shift in gravity, Riley started out of the bedroom and trailed down the hallway.

Boxes and various items stacked up the walls of the small hall, evidence of the young couple’s procrastination in moving in. They knew they had to get unpacked eventually but between jobs, internships, classes, and now the ever-approaching arrival of Sophia Mars Minkus there just hadn’t been time.

Topanga had made Riley feel a little better by commenting that she was astounded they had managed to even find a bigger place with how busy they were. However, the comment didn't unpack the boxes...

But obviously, with a baby on the way, they couldn’t have stayed in their original studio apartment. It was perfect for a young couple, just starting out, but didn’t quite fit a small family that was just beginning.

It started after high school, when Riley and Farkle had decided to move in together.

Farkle’s parents hadn’t been thrilled. They had already been distraught over their son choosing a girl and Columbia over Trenton and Princeton, so finding out that he would be living with said girl on top of it all had only been icing on the cake.

There had been some yelling about getting distracted and falling off course, but Farkle had made up his mind. Riley was his choice. How could she ever not be?

So, they found their little one room, studio apartment, nestled exactly halfway between Riley’s NYU and Farkle’s Columbia. It wasn't exactly glamorous... Riley had sobbed for a month after they moved in because there was no bay window and the 'water tasted different' — it didn't. Farkle had to patch drywall for the first time and ended up sticking some in Riley’s hair by accident.

But that was what just starting out was all about, right?

Being terrified?

Having no fucking clue what to do the first time something breaks?

Then bucking up and working through it together.

That was normal and for about three years, nothing changed and the space slowly became endearingly horrible. You had the kick the fridge open, hot showers only lasted 10 minutes (if you were lucky), but those things made Riley and Farkle laugh. It made it their apartment.

And then the pregnancy test came back positive about halfway through Junior year.

Things, to put it lightly, had to change.

Jennifer and Stuart had had some more yelling to do over that news. Words that hurt more than either Riley or Farkle openly admitted were said — "mistake", "regret", "screw up". Topanga had had to catch Cory when he passed out and then Farkle had been forced to try and outrun the man on the crowded New York streets.

The thing was, even with all that and being scared out of their fucking minds... Farkle and Riley were happy?

Because, holy shit, they made a tiny, little person who was going to live and breath and need them for everything.

Nothing they had ever done before seemed even remotely impressive anymore.

Riley was pregnant.

They were going to be parents.

To a baby.

A daughter, to be exact. And her name was going to be Sophia Mars Minkus, after wisdom, intellect, and her father's favorite planet, and she was going to be out of this world. But she wasn’t there quite yet.

Not that something like that would keep the little Bug from demanding attention.

Riley came to the living room and glanced at the clock on the small mantle. It was late, later than she’d been known to stay up since she’d gotten pregnant.

Months ago, Maya had called her boring when she'd left their favorite bar before even 8 o'clock. At that point, the couple hadn't disclosed the news of their little surprise to their friends and the blonde could not imagine what would be making her Honey such a party pooper. Riley'd cried the whole subway ride home. Farkle had come home two hours later, taken one look at her tearstained face, and rolled his eyes with a "Babe, you're not boring. You're pregnant."

Only this was different. She just couldn’t bring herself to put away her textbooks and novels. Russian Lit was hell but it was necessary for her Bachelor’s. She had to pass that exam.

Sophia needed a well-educated Mommy with a nice job where she could write about important things and people every day and come home to her baby girl every night. And Riley would give her that.

Another thought crossed Riley’s mind and she smiled down at her bump, “Daddy’ll be home soon, Bug. Maybe he’ll be able to get you to calm down.”

It infuriated her, but Riley couldn’t deny that Farkle was by far Sophia’s favorite, not only out of the two of them but out of everyone.

When ever he touched Riley’s stomach the baby would always shift to press against his hand and she would even kick directly against his palm. However, the most precious interaction was when Farkle would read to their daughter.

The baby Bug would always immediately settle at her father's easy, soft reading voice. Riley couldn't blame the baby though as she could barely keep her eyes opening listening to A Brief History of Time, but it still made the brunette's heart sing to witness.

Sophia was definitely going to be a Daddy's Girl, just as her mother had always been.

Wondering to the fridge, Riley worried at her lower lip as her mind wondered to the leftover homemade mac and cheese from dinner the night before. God, it sounded so good...

But she knew it wasn't good to eat right before sleep and honestly she was maybe just a little worried about the weight she'd already gained over her pregnancy. She really didn't need mac and cheese... but then again maybe Sophia did? Maybe that was the reasoning behind her craving?

Well, for Sophia...

Twenty minutes later when Farkle's key turned in the door, Riley was tucked into the couch with cold mac and cheese settled into her lap and Netflix calling her full attention to the television before her. As her fiancé came stumbling in, she shoved one last bite into her mouth and (as quickly as she was capable of) shot into an upright position.

"Oo're ome!" She exclaimed, covering her mouth.

Chuckling tiredly, Farkle ruffled his hair. It was sprinkling outside, making his walk home from the subway station a bit wetter than usual. He easily deciphered her yelp, knowing fluent 'Eating Riley'.

"Yeah, I'm home," He stepped towards her on the couch, quirking at eyebrow, "Why are you still up?"

Riley swallowed her food and shifted as Farkle slipped between her back and the armrest of the couch before laying back onto him. Her head fit just right in the crook of his neck. "I'm studying."

Glancing between the mac and cheese, television, and his fiancée, Farkle rubbed light circles over the woman's arm. "You were? Because we might want to go over what 'studying' means again."

"I was studying!" Riley defended, glaring up at his jaw line. Her eye fluttered closed at she sighed, shrugging, "Sophie got bored. Not me."

"You got bored, Bug? How could Mommy do that to you?" Farkle asked, leaning in to gently address Riley's stomach. His hand came to rest over the fabric of her shirt and Sophia nudged against his palm, drawing a tired smile.

Bring her hand up, Riley jokingly slapped Farkle's cheek, bring his gaze to her's. "I had no choice! My Russian Lit exam is tomorrow and if I don't pass-"

"Then you'll still be okay, Babe. Besides, you're going to pass, Riley! You're too smart and too damn determined not to." He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her temple, shifting to nuzzle her soft hair.

Riley sighed and closed her burning eyes again, "Well, at least one of us has faith in me."

Sophia gave another hard kick and Farkle smirked, "Two of us."

"She doesn't count. She's just tired of studying." The young mother's speech was slightly slurred from exhaustion and her eyes hadn't come back open yet.

Farkle lightly ran his hand over her stomach, "Well, you seem pretty tired too."

She brought her hands down to encase his and nodded, cracking one eye open, "Maybe just a little."

"Just a little?"

"A smidgen."

"Obviously," Farkle placated, shaking his head. Kissing her lips this time, he leaned back against the couch and closed his own eyes, “Just go to sleep, Riles."

"If you insist..." She trailed off, running a finger up along his arm. "Farkle?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

He smiled at the ceiling, eyes still closed. "And I love you.”

AM STILL TAKING ONE-SHOT REQUESTS FOR RIARKLE!!! PLEASE SEND ME SOME!!! I LOVE WRITING THESE TWO! Also, would you like more future-Riarkle one-shots like this one? Like their lives before kids but after high school? Or bits and pieces of engaged/married/parenting life?