#boo raisin boy

[dibs4ever]

Grocery Shopping

Barbara (Gordon) Grayson pushed the shopping cart down the Jam and cereal aisle. Her 20-month-old son sitting in the seat of the cart

“Okay, Nathan next on our list is Strawberry Jam for our toast” She began examining the shelves for the one that they used. Grabbing it off the shelf. Turning back to the cart she noticed an elderly woman looking at them “Pardon my gaze, your little one is so precious” she grinned

Barbara reached up running a hand through her son's dark locks “Thank you.”

The woman stepped forward “His eyes, they're son crystal blue. It’s breathtaking”

Barbara nodded “Yes I was pretty pleased when he inherited his father's eyes”

“Is he the father mini-me?” the woman asked

Barbara shrugged “Yes mostly.”

Nathan decided at this moment to cover his eyes with his hands then pull them off “Peak a boo!” he said with a smile before repeating his action towards the elderly woman

Her face lit up; “Oh how precious! You just made my day little one!” she held a hand to her chest

“Peak a boo” Nathan repeated with his heart melting smile

The woman rested a hand on Barbara’s shoulder “enjoy these years, I better get going.” she walked away.

Barbara turned to her son “Okay Nate where were we? What do we need next?”

“Daddy.” he pointed toward the cereals

Barbara smiled “Ah yes, it's not on the list but you're right. Daddy is out of cereal, what kind should we get? This?” she held up a box of Raisin Bran. The toddler shook his head “No- dat mama.” he pointed to a pink box

Barbara picked it up “Crumbl? There's no way this is healthy.” she read the back of the box

“You sure this is the one daddy wants?” she rose an eyebrow at the boy. She didn't really care what Dick got. The kid was actually right Dick loved sugary cereal and would get a kick out of it when she told him, Nathan had picked it out

The toddler nodded “Yes” he confirmed

Barbara laughed lightly “Okay well I guess we can get it.” she tossed it into the cart

She pushed on “Okay Daddy is at the farmers market getting our fruits and vegetables for the week, so we can skip that aisle. Next is….dog food for Haley so we need to go to the pet aisle.”

Nathan smiled “Alee!” he clapped his hand

Barbara smiled “That’s right our dog Haley needs food”

When they turned the aisle Barbara stopped the cart in front of Haley’s regular food “gentle giants.” when she turned to hold the bag she saw her son smiling at two teenage girls who were around 17

“Hi!” Nathan waved

The girls smiled “Hey cutie” one spoke

Barbara grinned putting her hands on the handle of the cart “See Aley food! “ he pointed

“He’s showing you our dog’s food” Barbara explained

The other girl nodded “He’s so cute!” she gushed

“Thank you have a nice day” Barbara smiled

Nathan grinned at the girls as they walked by “Ank u have a nice day!” he waved as she pushed the cart away

Once they turned the aisle Barbara stopped the cart and looked at her son. Leaning forward so their foreheads were touching “How many more times are we gonna get stopped today Little Grayson?” he giggled and she laughed as they continued with their shopping trip

Barbara and Nathan returned home a bit later finding Dick in the kitchen

“There you two are!” he took Nathan from Barbara’s arms. Kissing his head then pulling Barbara in by her waist pecking her lips. “I was on Farmer's market duty, never thought I'd beat you home since it's across town.”

Barbara laughed “Well you wouldn't have if our son wasn't so eye-catching” She walked back outside to the car, Dick following behind their son still in tow “What's that supposed to mean?” he chuckled

She grabbed a few bags in both hands, Dick grabbed 3 bags with his free hand

They turned and began walking back into the house “It means, anytime I go out we get stopped at least 3 times for people to tell me how cute he is”

They set the groceries on the counter. Dick chuckled moving his son and lifting him over his head

“That's a good point, people do stop us every time we go somewhere with him don't they?” he threw Nathan up lightly and caught him, the toddler giggling

Barbara smiled “he doesn't help the situation by flirting back”

Dick playfully rolled his eyes “he's like his father. He doesn't realize he's flirting while he does it.”

Barbara rolled her eyes playfully “Is that what it is? All those times I got jealous as a teenager cause my friend I secretly had a crush on was flirting with other girls but not me.”

Dick was about to speak when Nathan began to squirm “Daddy I'm down.”

Dick set the toddler down; they watched him run into the living room, getting occupied by his basket of toys.

They focused their attention back on each other. Dick lowered his head, narrowing his eyes and pulling her by the waist to him with both hands-free now. Pressing their foreheads together. “You know for a fact the reason I didn't flirt with you was because of the opposite effect. You were my best friend, I was finding myself attracted to you and I didn't know how to flirt with someone I was so enamored by”

Barbara smiled, running a hand up his back and to his scalp “Seem to be doing a good job now.” she wiggled her bottom one of his hands was currently on

Dick kissed her lips “What can I say; I overcame my fears”

Barbara kissed his lips again, then rested her head on her shoulder. Looking towards the living room. Dick followed her gaze

“We really did make a cute kid. “ he noted

Barbara looked up at him “he looks just like you.” she tugged lightly on his chin

Dick smirked “Not completely, he’s got your nose, cute little freckles, and your brains. He’s the perfect mix of both of us.” He finished by kissing the top of her head

[mimble-sparklepudding]

Inexplicably more anagram ridiculousness!

I'm not a huge fan of this time of year, so in order to distract myself it's time for another episode of the utterly nonsensical series that absoloutely nobody requested!

Revisiting Mimble Sparklepudding (of this very blog) we discover further insights... "A Girl Blended Pimp Musk" suggests that Mimble has been purchasing some rather potent cologne from an obliging young alchemist. Clearly matters olfactory are of great concern to Mimble currently, as he a releases a shortened version of his autumn musings - "Pumpkin Smell - Abridged". I genuinely have no idea what's going on with "A Sprinkled Pig Mumbled", but I don't think Mimble should be sprinkling things on pigs, even if it does make them speak...

Digone Boi of @softscales reveals his disapproval of certain alcoholic drinks - "I booed gin!", possibly because of the resulting raucous "Boogie Din", which sounds quite loud. However, "I do big one!" I leave entirely open to your interpretations...

Nira'sae Mian of @sae-mian is more devout than we realised, as they are "A Seminarian" apparently. I don't know who believes they deserve to be called "A Mean Raisin", but fortunately they won't mind too much, as they will soon forget about it due to the gently falling "Amnesia Rain" (which sounds like a good name for an album).

Meanwhile, Cimarra Skylark of @cimarraskylark, is organising her dairy products, as it's apparently time for her to "Arrange Milk Racks". However she is always mindful of the need to guard herself against the predations of men called Kirk, with the aid of her "Scary Kirk Alarm".

Finally, Varrus Varlineau of @sasslett wisely practices his wilderness endurance skills with an "Area Survival Run". Whilst in dungeons he knows to make good use of "Aura Revival Urns", which presumably contain useful magic. So far so sensible for the noble Elezen, but few people are aware of his secret mastery of operatic gynaecology as an "Aria Vulva Nurser", healing the parts other chirurgeons cannot reach with the power of song...

OK I probably ought to stop now. Sorry again for the silliness!

[justyourtypicalwriter]

Cloudeds Top Fluff & Light Hurt/Comfort Cryle Fic Recs!

@marshbarks Alright babes here we go! Feel free to message me if you’ve got any questions about the fics content wise. I’ve read all of these like six million times lol. Cryle is very awkward x equally (if not more) awkward and I love it for that

1.) Touch of Gold | Kivea

Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Craig Tucker, Stan Marsh/Kenny

McCormick

Additional Tags: Cryle Week 2021, Cryle Week, Getting Together, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Comedy, Humor, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, First Dates

Chapter(s): 1/1

Summary: Cryle Week Day 5: Sudden Change

When Stan and Kenny started dating, Kyle knew that it would shift their dynamic. He knew how romantic Stan could be, how caught up in the honeymoon period he could get. He wasn't surprised.

He was surprised that his answer to his sudden loneliness would be Kenny's flatmate and their childhood friend, Craig Tucker.

2.) The Note | thelotusflower

Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Craig Tucker

Additional Tags: Fluff, cries in cryle, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, this is seriously all fluff, cryle - Freeform, Attempt at Humor, Dorks in Love

Chapter(s): 1/1

Summary: As a milestone comes up within their relationship, Craig has to get something off his chest.

3.) reading the signs | thelotusflower

Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Craig Tucker

Additional Tags: cries in cryle, Fluff, First Date, First Kiss, there is not enough fluff in the cryle tag

Chapter(s): 1/1

Summary: Craig and Kyle go on their first date at the aquarium.

4.) Does Anyone Still Wear A Hat? | rachhell

Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Craig Tucker

Additional Tags: Cryle Week 2019, dumb kids being dumb and having dumb crushes, Middle School, Stan’s POV, boys who don’t know how to handle their feelings, Craig Tucker Being An Asshole, juuling in the bathroom like dumbasses, Humor, Kinda Fluffy

Chapter(s): 1/1

Summary: Park County Middle school, in the boys' eighth-grade year, has instated a total ban of all non-religious headcoverings. In other words, they can't wear their freakin' hats indoors anymore, which is totally weak. Stan notices that Craig is noticing his best friend a lot more than he used to. And that maybe, just maybe, Kyle is noticing him back.

Written for Cryle Week 2019.

5.) Can we address pizza Friday, please?? | Kivea

Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Craig Tucker

Additional Tags: Cryle Week 2019, Alternate Universe - High School, High School, Getting Together, because that’s always what my fics are about, Fluff, Humor, Comedy, romcom, Texting, Slice of Life, Kinda

Chapter(s): 1/1

Summary: For Cryle Week day 1: Headcanons

Neither of them would describe the other as a ‘close’ friend. An ‘old’ friend was probably more accurate. So it should’ve come as no surprise really that they texted each other with some frequency, especially as they shared some classes. It was perfectly natural.

Except ‘some frequency’ actually meant that Craig texted the fiery redhead more than his own real ‘close’ friends.

6.) Valentine | jewboykahl

Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Craig Tucker

Additional Tags: One Shot, Fluff, Long-Distance Relationship, literally just fluff tbh, Short & Sweet, Valentine’s Day, Aged-Up Character(s), cries in cryle

Chapter(s): 1/1

Summary: Craig and Kyle attending college on opposite coasts prevents them from spending Valentine’s Day together—or so Kyle thinks.

7.) Know Your Boo | thelotusflower

Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Craig Tucker, Stan Marsh/Kenny McCormick, Pete (South Park: Raisins)/Tweek Tweak, Token Black/Wendy Testaburger, Clyde Donovan/Bebe Stevens

Additional Tags: everyone is minor except cryle, cries in cryle, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Attempt at Humor, Cannon Compliant, College, Summer break, Fluff, Fake/Pretend Relationship

Chapter(s): 1/1

Summary: Over summer break, Kyle holds a telethon for Diabetes. Throughout the night, numerous members of the South Park community provide entertainment for the telethon.

It was Kenny’s idea to play a game of “Know Your Boo”, in which couples would compete against each other to see what couple knew each other best.

When one of his couples is unable to play the game, Kyle is forced to ask Craig Tucker to play a couples game with him.

After the game, he begins to see Craig in a new light.

8.) Draw Me Something | acreekinthenight

Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Craig Tucker

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - High School, Aged-Up Character(s), Crushes, Flirting, References to David Bowie, Artist Craig Tucker, Artist Tweek Tweak, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Getting Together, Fluff, Texting, The Smiths References, I’m Bad At Tagging

Chapter(s): 1/1

Summary: Craig has been perfectly content with his fake relationship and uninterested in attempting to ever get into a real one. But then he passes a few notes back and forth in detention and his heart starts doing weird shit, for the most unlikely candidate Craig could have ever anticipated.

What the hell is he supposed to do when he develops a crush on Kyle Broflovski of all people?

9.) Your Music Sucks | acreekinthenight

Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Craig Tucker

Additional Tags: Past Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak, Alternate Universe - College/University, Aged Up Character(s), Minor Original Character(s), References to Country Music, Music, Roommates, Slow Burn, One-Sided Attraction, Kyle Broflovski Has a Crush on Stan Marsh, Getting to Know Each Other, Falling In Love, Drinking, Recreational Drug Use, Light Angst, I’m Bad At Tagging, Flirting

Chapter(s): 5/5

Summary: Kyle just got to college, he's been so excited to get away from home and start his life as an adult. Once he's there all he feels is nervousness, and it really doesn't help when he finds out his dorm mate is Craig Tucker.

He could have never expected how his acquaintancehip with some asshole he grew up with would turn into something like love. Especially since he hates Craig's taste in music more than he's ever hated anything.

10.) Couldn’t be a Stranger | Kivea

Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Craig Tucker

Additional Tags: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Enemies to Friends to Lovers,  Romantic Comedy, Slow Burn, i guess??, I’m going to TRY at least, Alternate Universe - College/University, Family Drama, Family Dynamics

Chapter(s): 12/12

Summary: Need fake-boyfriend for family Christmas. Free ride, free meal, free gifts.

Kyle had clicked on the post out of curiosity. Out of boredom. The prospect of spending a week with a stranger seemed better than a week alone at the time. He hadn't expect to know the stranger. Otherwise, he wouldn't have agreed.

But he had agreed. And it found him in the childhood home of Craig Tucker, pretending to be his boyfriend for Christmas.

11.) Back to Where You Are | MintPizzaQueen

Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Craig Tucker, Stan Marsh/Kenny McCormick, Eric Cartman/Leopold “Butters” Stotch

Additional Tags: Minor Original Character(s), Minor Injuries, Mild Language, Mild Blood, Established Relationship, Aged-Up Character(s), mentioned alcohol use, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Some Humor

Chapter(s): 1/1

Summary: There was silence on the other end of the phone line. Kyle waited, seeing if maybe the client's phone had a lag to it. “Hello? Hello?”

“Is this Kyle Broflovski?” A low, female voice spoke.

The hairs on Kyle's arms stood on end. “Who is this?”

“Is this Kyle Broflovski?” The voice reiterated.

“Uh-”

“Ah,” the voice absolutely purred in delight. “I finally found you.”

Then the line went dead.

LMFAOO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! I TRIED TO RE-READ THE ONESHOTS TO MAKE SURE THERE WERE NO UNWANTED PLOT TWISTS OR SURPRISES. ANYWAYS- The last three are the questionable ones. Read if you want, or don’t, no offense shall be taken. ALSO if you want Cryle written a certain way I am so down to write it for you man, just tell me what you want<3 (I just want an excuse to write them lol)

[finniestoncrane]

(Different anon but) AYO HOW DID YOU READ MY MIND??? But fr though it is very hot if Telltale Riddler was fully dressed while we’re in limited clothing 🤝

I know Telltale and Arkham Riddler are very grouchy and kinda mean, but it’s also neat to just- imagine that they’re only nice and gentle to you 👀 maybe even overprotective and stingy with you MFHDJDJD

look at me this is me and you i am holding you by the shoulders because we are singing from the same fuckin hymn sheet

cfnm my kind of beloved actually lmao and i completely agree, i love the "i hate everyone and i am a grumpy shit but i love my partner and they are my sunshine" trope and it works for the boys ;-;

BUT PLEASE the unhealthy desire i have to be almost eddie's hostage is??? like yeah boo kidnap me to use me as a bait for batman but what if i can serve a greater purpose? what if you cna keep me down here and i'll enthusiastically unhinge my jaw like a python and suck your cock till you're withered like a human raisin? what if you kept me and i was yours and nobody else's because we all know that the control and the "winning" would appeal to him so why NOT!?

[notsocheezy]

Brain Curd #81

Brain Curds are lightly edited flash fiction - practically first drafts - posted daily and sometimes written with the express intention of being terrible… but, you know, in an endearing way. Please enjoy.

Read the rest of The Frank Program here on Tumblr!

“Ladies and gentlemen, this is The Frank Program! According to these here anal-lickits, most of y’all out there are more the gentlemen type than the lady type, so to attract more of the feminine persuasion, I’m happy to announce today’s guest: ‘heart-throb’ comedian, James Siegfried! Welcome to the show, sir.”

Siegfried smirked and leaned into the microphone. “Thank you so much for having me. I just flew in from Florida, and boy are my arms tired!”

A laugh track emanated from the corner of the room. Daryl held a box with several buttons on it, the first of which he had just pressed.

“Daryl,” Frank growled, “What the hell are you doing over there?”

“It’s okay, Frank, it’s okay. I asked him to do that. Laughter makes me more comfortable.”

“Ah, I get it,” Frank said. “From your time in that sitcom way back when.”

“Exactly. It helps me get into the flow. The sad thing is, nowadays I need that little machine even when I do stand-up.”

“People aren’t laughing?”

“People aren’t laughing. They’re afraid to laugh because nowadays, you can’t joke about anything without being called awful, vile, things by people with no social lives who spend all their time on the internet.”

“And that stops you from making jokes?”

“Of course not! I’m not afraid of them. But I am afraid of what it’s doing to my art form. Other comedians cave in and crack jokes that make people laugh. I refuse to stoop so low.”

Frank gave Sigfried a military salute. “You’re doin’ God’s work, son.”

“I’m telling you, my joke about the Queen being a transvestite would have killed in the nineties. In fact, that’s when I wrote it.”

The laugh track played.

Siegfried looked at Daryl, annoyed. “That wasn’t a joke.”

“Now, I’ve got a quick question for you…” Frank picked up one of about a dozen boxes of Toaster Turnovers from the table. “What’s with all the frozen breakfast food? Marketing deal?”

“No, not at all, they’re not paying me a dime.”

“So you paid for all these?”

He shrugged. “I like them.”

Daryl interjected. “We have a freezer in the back room, if you don’t want ‘em going bad.”

Frank frowned. “Shut the hell up, Daryl.”

Prerecorded booing played from Daryl’s corner.

“Anyway,” Siegfried continued. “My new comedy movie, which is in theaters now, is about the invention of these little treats! It touches on other snacks too. Plus a lot of breakfast cereal, which I’ve always been a big fan of.”

“With all due respect, Mr. Siegfried, that sounds like a commercial.”

“No, no, no, we didn’t get permission from the company to make the film. It’s not a commercial. It’s satire.”

“Fascinatin’. So you make fun of their products?”

“Not really. Everyone likes their products. More of the humor comes from ‘what-ifs’ - like, if they made bran cereal without the raisins, or unfrosted flakes - or if the slogan for orange juice was some kind of sexual innuendo.”

“They do make those things,” Daryl said.

“Those are just examples. There’s a subtlety to the humor, and an intelligence to it, and I think that’s why a lot of people don’t get the joke.”

“It sure doesn’t sound offensive to me,” Frank said. “Are people these days really so sensitive?

“Don’t worry, Frank, we didn’t forget to push boundaries. There are at least three jokes about fruit.”

“Fruit?”

“You know, the queers. The gays. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but they need to learn to laugh at themselves.”

The laugh track played.

Siegfried turned to look at Daryl. “Can you really not tell when I’m making a joke? That was not a joke.”

“You say everything like it’s a joke. I thought maybe that was why people laughed at you?”

Siegfried sighed and took a box of Toaster Turnovers from the table. “I’m taking a break.”

Daryl played the ‘awww’ sound as the door slammed.

Frank huffed. “Well, that’s just great. He went out the door to the parking lot. Thanks a lot, Daryl.”

He played the applause sound.

“I’m gonna smash that thing. Anyway, folks, since it doesn’t look like our guest is coming back, this has been The Frank Program. Thank you for letting me be Frank with you.” He took off his headphones and threw them to the ground. “Get over here Daryl! Goddamn it! Every fucking day with you! I swear to the God you don’t believe in, I brought you into this world and I can take you -”

[transbeeduo]

Ranboo is become Raisin! so sad! now we must bake the creature into an oatmeal cookie!

get in the oven boo boy im stealing ur husband as ur turned into a cookie

[carewyncromwell]

Oc Asks Game: 2 and 23 for all of your MCs? If that's ok?

Whew! Okay, let's see...

Tea, coffee, hot chocolate or other?

Carewyn: Coffee! Like her good friend Talbott, she's a coffee addict to the extent her other half Orion tries to wean her off of it. Her favorite blend is a caramel macchiato, but she'll also drink it black in a pinch.

Jacob: Hot chocolate. Jacob is a chocoholic and he'll never pass up a good hot chocolate.

Lane: English Breakfast tea.

Erik: Coffee, black as his soul. LMAO just kidding. 🤣

Ana: Good old-fashioned milk, specifically skim, since it's what her mum raised her with in a misguided attempt to help "curb" her weight. She also loves orange and (thanks to her boo Charlie Copper's influence) lemon mimosas.

Farid: Juice!! This boy loves juice, especially orange juice, though he also becomes very fond of pumpkin juice while staying at Hogwarts. Also green tea and almond milk.

Ru: They'll drink most anything that isn't too sweet (they really don't like chocolate, for instance), but in the mornings they tend to like apple juice best.

Ed: Any kind of sweet coffee brew, especially if it's got lots of foam. He actually becomes rather fond of trying out new brews at Muggle coffee shops just for kicks, though one of his favorites so far is the white chocolate mocha. He also loves hot chocolate, especially white hot chocolate.

Desi: Tea! Earl Gray tea is her absolute favorite thing to have in the morning, alongside a French croissant.

Eli: Butterbeer, though after moving to the States and living as a Muggle, he also became very fond of root beer and Coca Cola. (Eli honestly has never had much respect for what drinks/foods belong to which times of the day, especially given how bonkers his schedule can be with rehearsals and the parties he'll stay up all night for, so yes, he will drink soda "for breakfast," so to speak.)

(And Jackson and Bat are here!)

What is your character’s favourite food and who cooks it best?

Carewyn: Potato crisps! Walkers makes good ones.

Jacob: As mentioned before, chocolate! As a kid he loved Cadbury eggs and Yorkie Bars, but as an adult traveling the world, he falls in love with Richart and Ghirardelli chocolate.

Lane: Pikelets! She learned how to make them at home early on and she's always loved making them for her bairns Carewyn and Jacob.

Erik: Cinnamon coffee cake! He also likes Red Hot candies.

Ana: Fresh bread, right out of the oven. Her favorite kind is German brown bread.

Farid: Curry! All kinds. One of his favorite recipes to make himself is a lamb curry with chopped apple, onion, potatoes, and golden raisins, as well as a bunch of spices.

Jackson: Crepes, specifically with strawberries and powdered sugar! He's become very fond of making them in the mornings for both himself and Monty.

Bat: This is going to sound so cliche if you know about Bat's love of Christmas...but figgy pudding. No one can make it like his mum used to!

Ru: Aaaaaaapples. This water horse will eat most anything, but they love apples. Apple pie and apple turnovers are their friend -- it doesn't take long for their other half Estrid @thatravenpuffwitch to figure this out, so she'll sometimes surprise them by going to the market and picking some up from time to time.

Ed: Cheesecake. Ed loves most pastries, but cheesecake is his OTL and it doesn't matter how cheap it is, he will always indulge in some. When he first tried Mrs. Weasley's cheesecake, he went very quiet as he ate the whole thing without stopping and he was grinning and flushed like a happy schoolboy for the entire rest of the day, he was so happy.

Desi: Croissants! Though while traveling she also tries and takes a liking to cornish pasties.

Eli: Custard. He also takes a liking to Jello, pudding, and meatballs, while living in the States.

OC Ask!

[vegetalass]

RDR2 Boys Cooking + Eating Habits

Arthur 

Somebody else on here wrote some headcanons about Arthur not being able to cook and just eating microwave food all the time and I just have to say…. That’s canon 

Lowkey though he’s trying his best to get better at cooking

Probably the only thing he knows how to make is pasta 

He adds a bunch of random frozen veggies to water as the noodles are cooking 

And then smothers the whole thing in butter and calls it a meal

Or he puts marinara sauce on it straight from the jar 

And yes, that means it’s cold

He’s also getting better at friend rice, too

But he’s really bad at actually making rice 

If he doesn’t add too much water… He burns the bottom 

Charles makes a mental note to buy him a rice cooker for his birthday 

Makes his own popsicles out of random fruit juices and eats them 24/7 

Thinks this qualifies him as a chef

Eats pickles and olives straight out of the jar with a fork 

And sauerkraut too probably 

Just goes over to john’s house on his pizza nights 

Puts ketchup on eggs

John 

Pizza dad 

Probably orders pizza, salad, and a 64oz soda twice a week 

Everything else is just Dino chicken nuggets, Eggos, hot dogs, quesadillas, and frozen peas and corn 

Food you feed to little kids, basically 

Mostly because he does have a little kid 

But also because it’s easy and takes minimal effort and he doesn’t mind eating it, too

Abigail would be mad but she has no room to talk

The most you’ll see him actually make is buttered pasta (like Arthur) or sometimes beans and rice 

Abigail bought them a rice cooker a while ago so that’s one thing he doesn’t have to worry about 

Probably always has some type of dessert laying around 

Doesn’t mean it’s good, but it’s there 

Abigail buys a bunch of those gross, low calorie ice creams and John ends up having to finishing them 

Family lunches consist of a bologna sandwich on wheat bread with American cheese and mayo, a piece of fruit, a bag of chips or crackers, a go-gurt, and some gummies 

And yes he makes them for himself and Abigail too 

They’re all eating good at the Marston household 

(Not really)

Charles 

Everything he cooks are things that can’t be made in single batches 

Lots of healthy soups, chilis, stew, etc…

Most of the time, he makes too much of whatever it is so he always has leftovers 

Everyone is jealous when he brings them for lunch

Probably finds all of his recipes in the newspaper or random magazines he reads while at the grocery store checkout line

Everyone is like, “Charles… Why are you reading Women’s Fitness?” 

And he’s like, “Check out this salad recipe, though”

Puts hot sauce on everything 

Salad, macaroni and cheese, hamburgers... You name it 

And he’s the king of snacking

All of his snacks are healthy, though

Raw veggies and fruit and quinoa chips from Whole Foods or something like that

Nobody likes this

He’s one of those people who brings hard boiled eggs everywhere as a “snack,” too

And yea, he puts hot sauce on those, also 

He really likes those weird protein bars that are hard to bite into and taste like chalk 

The flavors are either normal stuff like white chocolate macadamia or Protein Power Punch with whey, chia and seaweed 

There’s no in between 

He’s also a charcuterie board legend

Hosea is jealous of this talent

Micah

Spends all his money on take out 

He’s totally one of those weird people who’s entire trash can is just filled with take out boxes and cans of coke or beer

Constantly eating fast food 

You ask him what he bought at the supermarket and he’s like “Pub mix and bud light” 

SIR 

Everything that he does manage to cook only involve one step of preparation 

Unseasoned, fried meats and boiled veggies 

Sometimes scrambled eggs and bacon

If he’s feeling fancy, he will make plain sandwiches

This is very rare, though

Can and will complain about anyone’s cooking

Even if it’s good and he he likes it

There are certain people he can’t do this to, though, or they won’t let him eat

The only person’s cooking he doesn’t complain about is Dutch’s

Constantly snacking from an entire party sized bag of chips

And yes, he eats straight out of the bag and wipes his fingers on his jeans

His oven is dirty

Hosea 

A meal for him is probably a handful of almonds and an applesauce or yogurt cup 

He is constantly making a bunch of those Tik Tok recipes where you just put a bunch of random stuff into your crock pot and add ranch seasoning and cream cheese

*insert all of those memes about mom pulling out the crock pot*

If you complain, he says “Well, you’re always welcome to cook, too”

Wears an apron when he cooks

Constantly eating plain toast with butter

And bananas 

And cheese sticks

Thinks that this makes him “healthy” 

Definitely likes to snack on those cocktail fruit cups and canned mandarin oranges

His entire freezer is just full of ice cream 

It’s all weird flavors like Cherry Garcia, chocolate banana, and pistachio though

Everyone hates him for this

Raisins are his late night treat 

Has a secret stash of candy no one can find 

That’s okay though because it’s mostly Werthers Originals

And Chiclets gum

He picks out all the orange ones, though

Dutch

Tries to re-plate takeout so he can call it his own

Everybody sees through this but they stopped commenting on it like four Thanksgivings ago 

Buys a bunch of those meals from Costco that all you need to do is heat up in the oven

He does like fast food but only from the less popular places

Carl’s Jr., Wendy’s, BK, Arby’s, etc. 

A&W, too, because he’s old and weird

He can totally cook, he just never does 

It’s just normal stuff like spaghetti and meatballs or chicken and rice, though

Tuna fish casserole

He over-seasons everything, though

Mostly because he’s trying to prove that he’s a good cook 

Eats dessert twice, every night 

Once right after dinner, and then later when he’s feeling like a treat 

Will eat in bed

Uses a little bib and tray and everything 

Likes pumpkin and sunflower seeds

Would eat hot wings with gloves on 

He’s the one who taught Arthur to put ketchup on eggs 

Kieran 

The second I realized that Kieran would probably be white trash, my life changed 

Hamburger Helper meals for LIFE

That one cheeseburger pasta? Kieran probably eats that three times a week 

He 100% makes the ketchup-butter sketti from Honey Boo Boo 

“It’s been a while since I done had roadkill in my belly”

His favorite dessert is ambrosia salad or that weird yogurt/Cool Whip covered jello that was popular in the 2000s

Probably has a TV dinner every once in a while, too

Instant mashed potatoes and minute rice type of guy 

Also gives me big microwave cheddar broccoli vibes 

I’ve said this before, but his house is probably stocked with all kinds of on-brand goodies 

Probably always has some kind of chip and cookie around 

Eats dinner in front of the TV

Dips french fries in mayonnaise

All of this said though, he isn’t a picky eater and will eat whatever is put on his plate 

That’s why he’s great to take to restaurants, because he never complains

Honestly it’s just so sweet to think of him making big crockpot meals to share with ppl even if his cooking is a lil.... strange 

Javier

Thinks that the hot dog combo from Costco is a suitable dinner 

Also gets hot food from the grocery store for dinner a lot

Literally will just heat up a can of something and eat it plain 

Beans, chili, soup… 

Doesn’t doctor it up or change it at all 

He’s happy to share but no one wants any

Chips and dip, 24/7

And it’s just Tostitos Hint of Lime chips and hummus

Probably puts hummus on everything, too 

Corn chips, tortilla chips, tortillas, vegetables, sandwiches, etc. 

Will put anything in a tortilla and call it a sandwich 

Eats leftovers cold 

The rest of the gang thinks this is a sin

Makes stir fry with whatever is laying around the house

It’s a little gross because he will try to add leftover beans

Refuses to eat fast food

The only exception he’ll make is for french fries and ice cream

Walks around and eats at the same time

Isn’t above asking the other boys to share with him 

Despite the fact that this only happens if what they’re eating is good

Which is almost never

Sean

Sean can’t cook. That’s the end of it

The most he can make is that weird microwave Mac and cheese where the pasta is boiled in the mug?? 

He never does it tho and just sticks with the normal, frozen Mac and Cheese you can microwave instead

Uses his microwaving ability to make mug cakes

And microwave scrambled eggs

Burns his popcorn every single time

He’s probably set of the smoke detector or fire alarm multiple times

He’s Irish though so of course he’s addicted to potatoes and cabbage

And since he’s from the UK, he likes stuff like beans on toast and marmite

He’s a little nasty too so catch him eating bologna sandwiches on wonder bread

Not even the Marstons are that bad

When he does get takeout, he overspends trying to use a delivery app 

He’s like, “And do I need the extra side of special sauce for $5…? Yes.” 

Cooks like this 

[if-the-crown-fits-translate-it]

Discord pt 64

[Date: 08/03, 6.01 AM - 08/03, 6.32 AM GMT]

[Direct continuation from pt 63]

[CW: Manipulation, stalking]

C R O W N: “are you all happier without me?”

Maxwell: “yes”

C R O W N: “...”

fetch: “we might be, yeah.”

C R O W N: “...”

Marcus: “...guys”

fetch: “just get out of here, dammit”

C R O W N: “i see”

Maxwell: “leave”

Marcus: “Baron and prince and lizzy are still with him”

jayyyyyyyy: “yeah, but theyre not in the court”

Marcus: “They are jay”

jayyyyyyyy: “crowns lost so much power. rescuing the others will be childsplay”

Marcus: “They’re still there”

Little-K1ng: “this is a weird vibe, just 3 dudes in my living room. i hope you guys know i have like, a bed and then a couch and also a floor”

Maxwell: “i call the floor”

Marcus: “That just makes him stronger”

Marcus: “Less people to control”

Little-K1ng: “floor is now called for, fetch can have the bed, and marcus gets couch i guess!”

Maxwell: “i can sleep anywhere man i used to sleep on the floor for fun as a kid!”

Little-K1ng: “zero porch sleepers, PLEASE,”

C R O W N: “I'm sorry. I just wanted to give Ranboo a happy family.”

Maxwell: “no you didnt bitch”

fetch: “just get OUT”

Maxwell: “that aint how a family works”

fetch: “get these squirrels out of my fuckin yard”

C R O W N: “...fine”

Marcus: “Do you remember what I said when this family asked about my thoughts on Dream?”

C R O W N: “yes”

Maxwell: “....i forgot how much of a dogboy you were fetch, heh...nice to see ya again man”

Little-K1ng: “[calling out of my front door to the street] ay fuck off pal not tonight”

fetch: “Pff, you too ya little rat”

Marcus: “I would like to change my answer.”

Marcus: “You are no better than Dream. You are no different than the man who you described as a horrible person. You are no savior.”

C R O W N: “...”

Marcus: “You are a coward.”

Maxwell: “ey i may be little but i can bite your kneecaps”

C R O W N: “...

:(”

Little-K1ng: “okay so i cant believe how not surprised i am but.... at the moment maxwell... theres orange juice in the fridge and cookies in the pantry (they're oatmeal raisin for your Health), if "someone" (you) starts bleeding again just sit and chill”

Little-K1ng: “but definitely get at those snacks”

Maxwell: “thanks man, sorry for barging in”

Marcus: “...what the hell are we wearing?”

Little-K1ng: “nah its all good ill be in a better mood once these bad boys! [holds out 2 excedrin] actually kick in”

Marcus: “WHAT HAPPENED TO MY HAIR”

Maxwell: “THATS WHAT I WANNA KNOW”

fetch: “I dunno man but hey max, you look good in a skirt”

Little-K1ng: “i mean you do suit the skirt”

Maxwell: “IM IN A SKIRT AND WHILE I DONT MIND SKIRTS ITS BEEN A WHILE MAN”

Maxwell: “.........hUh”

Marcus: “How the hell did I run in demonias what the fuck”

Maxwell: “i mean ive got combat boots so thats good but seriously man how the fuck did you run in those”

Marcus: “My hair isn’t supposed to be short”

fetch: “Okay you rock the demonias but are your ankles okay”

Little-K1ng: “yall are so fashionable i am almost not going to offer better clothes”

fetch: “...

Ow

ow ow ow

gys

watchdogs”

Little-K1ng: “wh?”

fetch: “gdox”

Maxwell: “i know ive got a button up on but not having a cloak or sweater of somesort feels horrid”

Marcus: “Fetch?”

fetch: “ow

gdoc”

[Crown edited onto the google doc: "I'm sorry i'll be good just please come back i don't want to lose anyone else it hurts i already lost tommy and now you all left me please come back please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please"]

Maxwell: “AW SHIT HERE WE GO AGAIN”

Marcus: “Fuck”

fetch: “hes tampering”

dreaming: “fetch you okay?”

Little-K1ng: “woah dude hey hey sit its okay just sit”

Little-K1ng: “the doc...”

Maxwell: “uh oh”

fetch: “ow ow wh at the fu c k”

Maxwell: “the fuck happened to tommy what is he on about”

Little-K1ng: “WOAH okay so fetch just hit the floor”

Maxwell: “shit fetch you okay”

Marcus: “Fuck, do you have tissues? His nose is bleeding”

Little-K1ng: “AH AH HEY UH HELP ME uh hes bleeding flip him over”

Little-K1ng: “hes bleeding a lot dont let him drown”

Maxwell: “oh god okay”

Little-K1ng: “cmon recovery position dont you know that?? ok”

Marcus: “Yeah of course”

Maxwell: “dont lay him down yeah he'll choke on  the blood if we do”

Little-K1ng: “okay hes good just. drooling blood onto the floor okay, thats, ew, but not the first time”

Little-K1ng: “oh yeah the doc huh? okay that alteration must have really hurt”

A random Spark: “It was a big one, a whole page”

Little-K1ng: “oh ouch”

Maxwell: “so should we try to leave it for now for fetch to fix when he wakes up to not hurt him more?”

Little-K1ng: “okay, note to self, buy more excedrin

this weeks trauma is sponsored by excedrin”

Maxwell: “what the shit happened to tommy?”

jayyyyyyyy: “tommy died??”

Maxwell: “HE WHAT”

jayyyyyyyy: “I DONT KNOW??”

Maxwell: “I WAS GONE FOR LIKE A DAY”

Little-K1ng: “yeah uh, he kinda, look ok yall can explain that and ill just. try to clean this up”

Mothbo: “Max, it's been much longer than a day.”

Maxwell: “what”

Little-K1ng: “a... a day ??”

Marcus: “...max”

Maxwell: “how...long has it been”

boo: “a month or so”

Maxwell: “god my head hurts this is too much to process”

Little-K1ng: “hahaa,, yeah no you've never met me, its been an awful lot longer than that, look, we've had a long night, the sprinklers are staying on overnight, just sit and we can get some sleep, yeah? ill stay with fetch and make sure he doesnt choke”

Little-K1ng: “ill get you the snacks and you can recover from the blood loss, sound good?”

Marcus: “I can um”

Maxwell: “thanks so much man...”

Marcus: “I can stay up and help these two, I basically took care of them back at the-

You know”

Maxwell: “okay...tomorrow....yall havge a  lto og explaining to fo”

Marcus: “You don’t look well, Mona you should rest”

Maxwell: “im going to slepw nihgt fucekrs ha....its good to be back”

Little-K1ng: “i appreciate the concern, good night marcus. nice to meet you :)”

Marcus: “It’s uh, nice to meet you too

Goodnight”

Mothbo: “rest well, Max. Please stay safe okay? We missed ya”

Maxwell: “course....”

[jayyyyyyyy: “have a nice first night free marcus! :]”]

Marcus: “...thank you”

Chat: “...”

katichu (derogatory): “Chat?”

jayyyyyyyy: “hi, chat. you maybe wanna take off your crown, mate?”

Chat: “You know what? I really don't care anymore. I should've known who you all really were when you first showed your true colors by being so hateful to crown and the family. You're all nothing to me :) And guess what? I'm completely fine with that!!”

A random Spark: “We made our choice”

Chat: “Yep! And I've made mine, and I'm completely fine with knowing that I've done nothing but right by Crown, and that none of this is my fault and I'm not to blame for anything and I haven't done anything wrong and it's perfectly fine and I'm okay!!”

Chat: “I know you never cared about me anyway. You don't need to keep saying it. I have my family and I'm h a p p y n o w”

[jayyyyyyyy: “We do care about you. We're also all tired as fuck.”]

Chat: “Right.”

Chat: “I'll be leaving now. Thank you for nothing.”

[thadelightfulone]

Apollo Night

So, my good friend @shaekingshitup placed this idea in my head. It is an already planned series of one- or two-shots of College Erik shenanigans. I hope you all enjoy. Those who want to be tagged just let me know. As always, my OCs are always black!

Summary: Melanie just wanted to get more involved on campus.

It is Melanie’s first year at Cal State, and she has been looking for a way to make new friends, get more involved on campus, and experience all college life has to offer. Some of the girls in her Sunday School class at church were students on campus and BSU board members. They advertised their annual Apollo Night on Sunday before class began since it was open to the community as well. She decided that this might be an excellent way to meet some of her goals as she finishes her freshman year in college.  

The following Saturday morning, she goes to campus for auditions for the show. While waiting, she sees a few groups from various fraternities and sororities preparing song and dance numbers for their auditions. She moves off to a corner of the building and practices vocal exercises until they call her name. She follows her friend, Marie, from church, to where she will be auditioning. Along the way, they pass a group of rowdy guys leaving their audition, clearly excited because their act was chosen to perform.

She looks up, making eye contact with one of the guys as he passes her while waving to Marie. Shining dark brown eyes meet her timid hazel ones. He smiles down at her since her 5'2 frame is much shorter than his own 6 ft. Dimples and gold canines in full view, she internally swoons while meeting his smile. Melanie didn’t realize that she picked up her pace, and stops short right before running into Marie. He chuckles and continues behind his boys. She drops her head and follows her to the audition room.

The audition goes well, and Melanie is informed right there on the spot that she will be performing in the show. The board explains to her how the show will go – following closely to how A Night at the Apollo does their Amateur Night. They have someone who will be Sandman and remove folks who are booed for longer than 15 secs off the stage. They let her know that it is not like singing at church; no one will coddle her. And if Melanie wants to make sure she stays in the competition, then she should make sure she has some friends who can make serious noise in the audience – just in case. Melanie sighs but nods her head in understanding.

She is given the date and location of the show. The board lets her know about the optional walk-through rehearsal two hours before the show. Also, the latest time that she can check-in for the show because she will need a soundcheck if she doesn’t attend the rehearsal. Melanie thanks the board for their time, and quietly exits the building. Mentally running through a checklist of things she will need to do before the show in two weeks. She frowns when she remembers what the board said about having support, most of her friends were across the country at HBCUs or the Ivy League schools of their choice. Not paying attention to what she was doing, Melanie pushes on the door leading out of the building hard enough to hit some people standing on the other side.

“Aye, watch it!” One guy jumps out of the way as the door swings wide.

“Damn, girl!” Another voice calls out, and when Melanie looks over, he is rubbing his upper arm after taking most of the impact.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” She looks down away from the group of guys who all turned to face her. “I wasn’t paying attention. My bad.” Melanie looks up and realizes it is the group she saw on her way into the audition. The guy she hit was the one who smiled at her earlier, now frowning in her direction.

“I take it the audition didn’t go well.” Melanie barely hears his words over, watching his muscular arms flex and stretch in response to her attack with the door. She shakes her head, “No?” He stops moving and looks directly at her.

“Oh no, I mean, it was fine. I got through.” A small smile appears on her face. “It’s just a lot to think about, I have never performed in front of a group I don’t know before.” All the guys nod their heads in understanding. “Well, I guess I will see you guys at the show. I should go.” Melanie looks back up at him. “Again, I’m sorry about that.”

He waves her off, “You’re good. We all celebrate differently. Just be careful next time.”

“Will do,” she waves at the guys, “Bye.” They all watch her leave before breaking out into laughter.

“Oh no, nope.” Luke, who was the other guy who almost got hit, says, “Too easy.” He stands in front of Erik, who Melanie hit with the door, and looks at him, “Not her.”

Darrin, another member of their group, speaks up, “Why not? She would be perfect.”

“I agree, I don’t see why we can’t make her it,” Erik spoke.                                

“You saw her first. You are never supposed to encounter the mark. We choose them the night of the show.” Marcus, the last member of the group, lowers his voice as he walks closer to them, so no one will hear what they are discussing.

“Ok, so we do it differently this year. My vote is for her.” Erik responds. The guys all look at him.

“Are you sure about this?” Luke asks warily.

Darrin slaps Luke on the back, “You heard the man. She’s the one.” He shrugs when Luke moves out of his grasp and closer to Marcus. “Besides, it’s his choice this year anyway. Who cares when it was decided?”

“Fine. Don’t make us regret this.” Luke says before walking away.

— Two Weeks Later —

Melanie walks into the Student Union Pavilions, where the show was going to be. She sees Marie and some of the other board members finishing up the final touches to the stage. She decided to skip the rehearsal and just come in for a soundcheck. Marie takes her music to the sound guy who plays it while Melanie hums along, he makes sure to mark the levels on both the music and mic so she can be heard clearly on the mic.

Once that is done, she heads to the bathroom to change into her outfit for the night. Melanie chose a navy blue shift dress that has a deep shawl collar with some black velvet booties. The dress wasn’t too form-fitting, but anyone could see the curves she was rocking. Her natural curls were already pinned up in a chignon bun with loose tendrils framing her face. She wasn’t one for much make up but decided to put on some black mascara with a matte raisin lipstick. She pouted her lips, took a couple selfies in the mirror for her snap before calling herself ready.  

Walking into the waiting room, she sees all the acts gathering around while waiting for the lineup announcement. She goes to a corner and decides to run a few vocal exercises to warm up since she didn’t sing full out at her soundcheck. She starts at her normal chest voice, “Ma Me Mi Mo Mu – oooh,” going up half a step, she gets through 3 repetitions before she hears a throat clearing behind her.

Looking up from her seat, she sees the guy she hit with the door the day of her audition. “Ahhh, so she sings.” She smiles at him as he sits next to her. Holding out his hand, "I’m Erik.”

She takes his hand, “Melanie.”

“Nice to meet you, Melanie.” He lets go of her hand, “I haven’t seen you around campus before. You go here?”

“Yeah. It’s my first year here.” Erik nods at her. “Trying to get more involved on campus.”

“That’s kool. You a member of the BSU?” He takes a sip of some water.

"Not yet, but I know a few of the board members from my church.” He nearly chokes on his water.

“You go to church with Marie and her friends?” She nods at him. Coughing a bit more to clear his airways, “That’s what’s up. I bet she wants you to pledge S G Rho, too?”

“Actually, the girls from Zeta are already trying to recruit me.” She looks down at his outfit, noticing he is in a blue jersey with white writing on it. The Greek letters of Phi Beta Sigma big and bold, going down the right side. Erik smiles at her, nodding his head.

“Well, I’ll let you get back to practicing. Break a leg tonight, Melanie.” Erik stands to leave.

“Thanks. You, too Erik.” She returns to finishing her vocal warmups, as Erik makes a hasty retreat from Melanie over to his group members, and frat brothers.

“Yo, we gotta pick someone else.“ Marcus, Luke, and Darrin look at him, shaking their heads.  

"No, can do. Word is out about the chosen act of the night. It’s a done deal.” Marcus looks at Erik.

“What happened to change your mind?” Luke asks.

“Doesn’t matter, she doesn’t deserve it. So, pick someone else.” He hisses out, keeping his voice low.

“No one does, Erik. That’s what makes it so great.” Darrin laughs while looking around. “Do we know when she goes on?”

“Second half. Speedy just read off her name.” Marcus answers, “Gives us enough time to spread the word during the intermission.”

“Fuck all that and listen to me! Pick. Someone. Else.” Erik keeps looking over at Melanie, who moved outside the door to sing a little louder without bothering anyone.

“Nah, we got our one. We’re good.” Luke walks outside, “Let’s get that last part together before we go onstage.” Passing Melanie, who is coming back inside, “Aye, break a leg tonight, young lady.”

She smiles at all of them, “Thanks fellas, you too.” She continues out to the Pavilion, deciding to watch the first part of the show since she didn’t perform until the second half.

—

The host of the evening was a local SoCal comedian by the name of Speedy. He welcomed everyone to the BSU’s Annual Apollo Night, explaining how the show would go. Speedy completed a short comedic set and introduced Ace Money, the special guest performer for the evening. Ace Money opened the show and brought out the first performer of the competition.

About 5 acts into the show, Speedy came out asking the audience about their love of the Divine Nine. The crowd went wild as they knew this means the next few acts represented the black fraternity and sorority chapters on campus. First up was a guy from the school’s shared chapter of Alpha Phi Alpha, reciting some poetry earning plenty of snaps and praise for his prose. Followed by a quartet of girls from the campus chapter of Delta Sigma Theta singing  Giving Something He Can Feel as En Vogue in their long red gowns.

Before Speedy even returned to the stage, the crowd was loud already knowing who was next up to perform. “Well, I guess these brothers really don’t need this introduction, but ya’ll gonna get it anyway.” He walked across the stage to the side where Darrin and Luke were standing, “Keep making some noise for the Men of Fire and Brimstone, PHI BETA SIGMA!!!”

The music starts, and the audience goes nuts as Erik, Darrin, Marcus, and Luke all stroll out from both sides of the stage to 112’s Dance with Me. They stood in a straight line across the stage before breaking out into their choreography for the song. As the song progressed, they made their way off the stage and down into the audience.  

Erik was on Melanie’s side, and he spotted her immediately on the aisle not far from the stage. So when he made his way down, he went directly to her and started dancing in front of her. Much to the delight of her classmates who she sat with during the show. He takes her hands and lifts her from the seat right as the call and response part of the song came on –

If you sexy and you know it clap your hands (claps)

Erik dances behind Melanie, holding her by her hips, waiting for her to clap along. When she doesn’t, he takes her hands and claps them for her in tune with the song.

If you sexy and you know it clap your hands (claps) If you sexy and you know it and you really wanna show it, If you sexy and you know it clap your hands (claps)

Yeah!

Before Erik heads back up to the stage, he pulls Melanie in and whispers in her ear, “Thank you.“ He makes his way back to finish the performance on stage, and Melanie drops back into her seat, as her friends laugh and snicker around her. The song ends, and the guys bow before leaving the stage.

Speedy comes out and starts fanning girls he sees in the front row, "Yeah, I think now is a good time to call for an intermission. Some of you need to cool off. See ya in 20 minutes.”

Melanie had a big old grin on her face as she faced the people around her. “Who was that?” Alicia, a girl in her math class, asked.

“Just a guy I met before the show began. It’s nothing.“ The other two girls look at her and laugh, "Whatever, I’m gonna get some water and head backstage. I’ll see you all after the show.” They all gave her hugs and well wishes before watching her disappear behind the stage.

—

Speedy came back out on stage after the intermission and told a few jokes before starting the second half of the show.  

“Alright, ya’ll ready for your next act?” He holds his mic out to the crowd.

“YEAH,” variations of it overlapped as he got everyone hyped for the next performance.

“I said, are you ready for your next act?”

“YEAH!” the crowd returns much louder than before.

“Please welcome to the stage, Miss Melanie Alonzo.” Melanie walks out, smiling to Speedy and then the crowd. He brushes past her and wishes her luck.  

She takes a moment to breathe and looks to the back, cueing the sound guy. Melanie has an accompanying track for her song, but she starts off acapella. Following her favorite version of the song, she starts singing –

Birds flyin’ high, you know how I feel Sun in the sky, you know how I feel Breeze driftin’ on by, you know how I feel

Some cheers come from the audience as they recognize the song she is doing. She exhales as she continues feeling herself relax more as she adjusts to her sound on the stage.

It’s a new dawn It’s a new day It’s a new life for me Ooooooooh And I’m feelin’ good

She looks over the audience as she continues to sing and get more comfortable at the mic. The friends who were able to make the show smiling at her as the music starts.

Fish in the sea, you know how I feel River runnin’ free, you know how I feel Blossom on the tree, you know how I feel

As she pulls the mic from the stand to move around the stage, she starts hearing ‘boos’ coming from opposite corners of the room. She looks out at the audience and recognizes one of the guys booing her as one of Erik’s groupmates. She slows her pace on the stage as she continues singing while the ‘boos’ get increasingly louder.

It’s a new dawn It’s a new day It’s a new life for me And I’m feelin’ good

Eyes roaming the audience, she can see make out that each one of Erik’s group members is spaced out and booing at her from their spots in the crowd. She was the Boo Boo Act for the night.

Dragonfly out in the sun, you know what I mean Don’t you know Butterflies all havin’ fun, you know what I mean

She can see her friends trying to cheer louder for her along with others in the audience who are enjoying her performance. Even their Sandman is holding back from running her off the stage.

Sleep in peace when day is done, that’s what I mean And this old world is a new world and a bold world for me She continues singing, hoping that the mixed reaction is enough to keep her in the competition when she spots someone dead center in the audience, Erik. He isn’t booing or cheering, just looking directly at her with a confused expression. Melanie is ready to bolt from the stage in embarrassment, but she won’t let him and his childish group of friends win. She puts the mic back on the stand, stares straight into the spotlight, and continues singing.

Stars when you shine, you know how I feel Scent of the pine, you know how I feel Oh, freedom is mine, and I know how I feel It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new life for me

Melanie’s voice increases in strength, and she belts out the last part, along with her own variation of Nina Simone’s scat before ending the song.

And I’m feelin’ – good

She holds that last note loud, long, and proud as the music ends, and she immediately exits the stage. Melanie had no idea that she earned a standing ovation or saw that Erik was cheering the loudest as she finished the song.

Speedy returns to the stage and looks back at Melanie, who went back to the waiting room. “I don’t know what that girl did to ya, but she handled that very well.” He shakes his head, looking down at his list of upcoming acts. “That couldn’t have been me, no sir.” There are a few scattered laughs and claps as the audience agrees with him.

—

Speedy calls out all the acts that made it through to the end. There was another act that the audience successfully managed to boo off the stage. He was still in the backstage waiting room. Melanie didn’t even want to be bothered with it anymore. She stayed in the back and listened from the open door. When a girl who sang Ex-Factor by Lauryn Hill, was announced as the winner, Melanie moved away from the door.

Everyone came back in and was congratulating one another for a job well done and an incredible show. Erik and his group were the loudest, cheering on their friend who won the competition. Melanie stayed out of the way towards the back. Gathering her things together when someone tapped her on the shoulder. She turns around to find the guest artist, Money Ace, a new rapper gaining traction around the SoCal rap scene, standing there.

“Hey, I just wanted to let you know I thought you did a great job out there.” She looks him up and down, not saying anything. “I get it. Sometimes, it’s just not your night, and your voice just doesn’t match the song.“

Melanie rolls her eyes at him, “Yeah, thanks. I appreciate it.” She grabs her bag and moves to leave. He grabs her arm, stopping her in front of him.

“Wait, I am always looking for people to sing hooks on my songs.” He pulls out a business card, “Maybe we can find something for you to sing for me.” Ace takes Melanie’s hand and slides the card into it. “Just think about it.” She nods, and he walks away right as Erik makes his way over to her. Melanie puts on her jacket, double checks that she has all her stuff before heading for the back door leading out of the TSU.

Erik had been watching her since he got back to the waiting room, he noticed she never came out on the stage with everyone else. When he finally got a moment away from everyone, he saw that she was talking to Money Ace. He tried patiently to wait for them to finish before approaching her. When he shook her hand, Erik moved towards her, but Ace caught him and wanted to chat.

Melanie was walking over to her friends when she heard her name being called from behind her. She turned and saw Erik standing there. She turned back around and continued walking.

“MELANIE! Melanie, wait up!”

She stopped in front of her friends and turned around to face him. "What do you want, Erik? There’s no crowd here to embarrass me in front of, so I don’t know what’s in it for you.”

He scoffed at her, “It wasn’t even like that. I promise you.” She sucks her teeth at him. He looks at the card in her hand. “What did he want?”

“Oh, Ace?” She twirls the card between her fingers. “He likes my sound and wanted to see if I was interested in singing hooks on some of his tracks.” She knew she had no intention of doing anything with it, but it serves Erik right for acting bothered by it after what he just did.

Erik frowns at her, then reaches out and grabs the card, “Nah, you don’t need friends like that.” He tosses it in the nearest trashcan.

“But I need friends like you?”

“He only wants to fuck, Mel. You don’t mind if I call you that, do you?” She shrugs at him. "And as I said, it wasn’t even like that.”

“Then what was it like? Because I was just starting and then I get booed. I look out in the audience and notice your friends are the ones egging people on.” Erik lowers his head. “Oh, and let’s not forget the not-so-secretly hushed rumor that one act was chosen to be the Boo Boo Act. I guess it was just a good thing that I had enough people on my side to make sure I wasn’t booed off like-” she takes a minute to remember the name, “like Vanessa was last year.” Erik is wringing his hands in front of him. “I take it that was you and your frat buddies at work again, right?” Erik looks at Melanie, who has begun tearing up in front of him. “What did I ever do to you and your friends? Did you really think I deserved that?”

“I told them to call it off.” He responds lowly.

“Clearly, they didn’t hear you, or they didn’t care.” Melanie inhales deeply, “Doesn’t matter, I don’t need that kind of friend either.” She wipes her eyes of the tears that started to fall. “Please just leave me alone.” Turning around to her friends who witnessed their whole interaction, they leave Erik standing by himself in the fresh night air.

“I tried to warn you, E.” A clap on the back brings him face-to-face with his frat brothers. Luke has a smirk on his face. “You think she’ll participate in Apollo Night next year? She did pass with flying colors.”

“Why did you do it? I told you I wanted it stopped.” Erik looks at all three, Luke, Marcus, and Darrin.

“Now, E, you know we couldn’t do that. It goes against the rules.” Darrin replies.

“Once the act is picked, it is final.” Marcus recites in a precise manner.

“Besides, you stupidly chose her two weeks ago. And we knew it was a bad idea, but you never backed down until tonight when it was too late to pick another.” Luke chimed in.

“This is why we wait until the night of the show. When we have the chance to meet the performers and speak with them during the rehearsal or soundcheck.” Marcus throws his hands up. “You were warned.” Erik walks away from them.

“So, how bad did you fuck this one up, Erik?” Darrin catches up to walk beside him as they head back inside the TSU.

“She told me to leave her alone.” Erik stops short of the entrance.

“Serves you right, nigga. Picking on lonely girls like that.” Luke utters as he passes Erik, who trips him at the door. They all watch Luke try to catch his balance before he hits the ground, “Damn, man. It’s not my fault that you fucked up.”

“That’s not gonna stop him,” Marcus says as he helps Luke up. They all look over at Erik and can just see the wheels turning in his head. He grins at them while scratching his beard. “Ahhh, here it goes.”

[cupofteaguk]

Hi hey helloooo~ I’ve recovered and am now here to SCREAM at you about Battle of the Brains. First of all, I love HP so the whole reputation series has been a RIDE. Park Jimin as a whole ass nerd is sending me!!! Hahaha I love this characterization of him- confident, cerebral, hard working, and so so sexy!! And I really love mc, she matches Jimin perfectly with her wit and intelligence. I love that she isn’t afraid to put him in his place throughout the whole fic! The whole confrontation

(i decided to put the rest of ur wonderful wonderful truly incredible review underneath the cut bECAUSE IT IS SO LONG AND I AM SO ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE ? WITH YOU ? AND I DON’T DESERVE THIS?)

between the two at the very beginning really set the tone for the tension between them. “’I’ll see you around, Park Jimin.’ His gaze trails down your backside as you leave.” I’m SCREAMING, the sexual tension is so thick, so delicious. I really enjoyed the way you spent all this time building up their frustrations. Their dynamics remind me of James Potter and Lily Evans a bit?? The rivalry, the competition, the TENSION. I loved the Hogwarts references, especially with McGonagall haha “I just happened to open the door because it’s the time both of you should be here for your meetings anyways. Regardless of who is offering to bend over for whom.” HAHAHAHA I’M ROLLINGGGG!!! I’m 10000% here for sassy McGonagall!!! The library scene where Jimin can’t help but look between her parted thighs?! Phewww that boy is confusing the physiologic feelings of anger and arousal if you ask me and the twitching in his pants. I love how she doesn’t take jimin’s crap and dishes it right back to him while they’re bantering in the library. Ok, now the smut. Are YOU KIDDING ME. The first time they fuck in the head boy study?? The way he actually cares about foreplay to make sure it’s good for her too? Yeah, ok he TOTALLY hates her 😉 and the way he pockets her panties had me raisin my eyebrows okkkk I see you Park Jimin… I see. “Gonna prove to me that you’re a one dump pump or something, Park?” HAHAHAH I love that they keep up their banter, even while fucking. Multiple sex scenes?? There was sex on a table, tie sex, prefect bathroom sex. My soul has ascended, catch me in the 9th dimension after this. “Meeting in Yoongi’s office” HAHAH I love that that’s their code for: wanna fuck? Damn I hope Yoongi never finds out about how much they got it onnnn in his private study room haha and as pussy quivering as the sex is, my fave part is actually the scene where OT7 throws a pre-holidays party in the room of requirements and Jimin attempts to convince her to come and he proceeds to get drunk and refuses to leave until he sees his girlfriend. “At once, his eyes turn into half moons with how brightly he is smiling at you… his eyes and his cheeks rounding out… ‘Baby, you showed up!’ He cries, managing to untangle himself from Taehyung and latch immediately onto you… ‘I thought you weren’t coming!’” Omgggg my HEART!! The way it… straight up melted?? I love love love the way you incorporated the way Jimin hugs people, just throwing himself into it!! The scene where Jaehyun helps her get Jimin back to their common room and he confesses uwu my poor heart. The dialogue in this scene is pure gold. “Wait, you’re not my girlfriend? But… I really like you, so I thought that something was going on.” And when they have intimate sex in the prefect bathroom? And when jimin is sucking on her nipple and making eye contact?? I AM THE BIGGEST HOE FOR NIPPLE PLAY JUST FLING ME INTO THE SUN IT’D BE COOLER THERE. I love how she rides him, how they take their time with each other, how softly they kiss for the first time, how he back hugs her in the tub. “Sweetheart, I’ve been chasing you around for a month and a half- emotionally and physically. Do you really think I’d be able to keep my feelings a secret in front of other people?” and “Plus when I kick your ass in our classes, I think that it's more satisfying to hear that I beat my girlfriend instead of that transfer student from Ilvermorny.” HAHAHAH I love this couple!! They are the perfect balance of sweet and spicy- the nerd power couple of Hogwarts!! Battle of the Brains is the perfect dish to serve up for romantics and hoes alike. You really killed it with the sweet ending while they were DTR'ing and cuddling in the tub... and then interrupted by Yoongi. Poor Yoongi who's gonna have to scrub down his whole private study now that their secret is out! Well done boo!! I know I’ll return to re-read this again 😊 Sending you all my love!! Ps can’t believe “girth” didn’t show up even once in 3 sex scenes HAHAHA

HOLY FUCKING COW WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO DESERVE SUCH A THOROUGH COLLECTION OF ASKS THAT SPELL OUT SUCH A WONDERFUL SWEET THING YOU’VE SENT TO ME WTFFFFFFFF. WOW OKAY. thank you so much for this !!!!! i am really really so happy that you enjoyed the read and honestly let me kiss u because you inCORPORATED QUOTES FROM THE FIC IN THESE ANSWERS ?? i swear to god i have read this at least 5 times and it makes me grin every single time i finish reading through. i seriously need a special tag for this specific ask so i can continue to scream over you screaming. i’m so happy you enjoyed the smut!!! and am even happier you liked the ot7 pre-holiday party! that part was originally meant to be really short, so i’m glad me extending that scene was worth it! thank you again sososo much for taking the time to write this and send this to me omfg i can perish happily now. 

[blindrapture]

Under the Read More, I will put a single-sentence question, followed by its answer. This is from Finnegans Wake. For the record, the question is asking “who was the person who matched this description.”

What secondtonone myther rector and maximost bridgesmaker was the first to rise taller through his beanstale than the bluegum buaboababbaun or the giganteous Wellingtonia Sequoia; went nudiboots with trouters into a liffeyette when she was barely in her tricklies; was well known to claud a conciliation cap onto the esker of his hooth; sports a chainganger’s albert solemenly over his hullender’s epulence; thought he weighed a new ton when there felled his first lapapple; gave the heinousness of choice to everyknight betwixt yesterdicks and twomaries; had sevenal successivecoloured serebanmaids on the same big white drawringroam horthrug; is a Willbeforce to this hour at house as he was in heather; pumped the catholick wartrey and shocked the prodestung boyne; killed his own hungery self in anger as a young man; found fodder for five when allmarken rose goflooded; with Hirish tutores Cornish made easy; voucher of rotables, toll of the road; bred manyheaded stepsons for one leapyourown taughter; is too funny for a fish and has too much outside for an insect; like a heptagon crystal emprisoms trues and fauss for us; is infinite swell in unfitting induments; once was he shovelled and once was he arsoned and once was he inundered and she hung him out billbailey; has a quadrant in his tile to tell Toler cad a’clog it is; offers chances to Long on but stands up to Legge before; found coal at the end of his harrow and mossroses behind the seams; made a fort out of his postern and wrote F.E.R.T. on his buckler; is escapemaster-in-chief from all sorts of houdingplaces; if he outharrods against barkers, to the shoolbred he acts whiteley; was evacuated at the mere appearance of three germhuns and twice besieged by a sweep; from zoomorphology to omnianimalism he is brooched by the spin of a coin; towers, an eddistoon amid the lampless, casting swannbeams on the deep; threatens thunder upon malefactors and sends whispers up fraufrau’s froufrous; when Dook Hookbackcrook upsits his ass booseworthies jeer and junket but they boos him oos and baas his aas when he lukes like Hunkett Plunkett; by sosannsos and search a party on a lady of this city; business, reading newspaper, smoking cigar, arranging tumblers on table, eating meals, pleasure, etcetera, etcetera, pleasure, eating meals, arranging tum-blers on table, smoking cigar, reading newspaper, business; minerals, wash and brush up, local views, juju toffee, comic and birthdays cards; those were the days and he was their hero; pink sunset shower, red clay cloud, sorrow of Sahara, oxhide on Iren; arraigned and attainted, listed and lited, pleaded and proved; catches his check at banck of Indgangd and endurses his doom at chapel exit; brain of the franks, hand of the christian, tongue of the north; commands to dinner and calls the bluff; has a block at Morgen’s and a hatache all the afternunch; plays gehamerat when he’s ernst but misses mausey when he’s lustyg; walked as far as the Head where he sat in state as the Rump; shows Early English tracemarks and a marigold window with manigilt lights, a myrioscope, two remarkable piscines and three wellworthseeing ambries; arches all portcullised and his nave dates from dots; is a horologe unstoppable and the Benn of all bells; fuit, isst and herit and though he’s mildewstaned he’s mouldystoned; is a quercuss in the forest but plane member for Megalopolis; mountunmighty, faunonfleetfoot; plank in our platform, blank in our scouturn; hidal, in carucates he is enumerated, hold as an earl, he counts; shipshaped phrase of buglooking words with a form like the easing moments of a graminivorous; to our dooms brought he law, our manoirs he made his vill of; was an overgrind to the underground and acqueduced for fierythroats; sends boys in socks acoughawhooping when he lets farth his carbonoxside and silk stockings show her shapings when he looses hose on hers; stocks dry puder for the Ill people and pinkun’s pellets for all the Pale; gave his mundyfoot to Miserius, her pinch to Anna Livia, that superfine pigtail to Cerisia Cerosia and quid rides to Titius, Caius and Sempronius; made the man who had no notion of shopkeepers feel he’d rather play the duke than play the gentleman; shot two queans and shook three caskles when he won his game of dwarfs; fumes inwards like a strombolist till he smokes at both ends; manmote, befier of him, womankind, pietad!; shows one white drift of snow among the gorsegrowth of his crown and a chaperon of repentance on that which shed gore; pause and quies, triple bill; went by metro for the polis and then hoved by; to the finders, hail! woa, you that seek!; whom fillth had plenished, dearth devoured; hock is leading, cocoa comes next, emery tries for the flag; can dance the O’Bruin’s polerpasse at Noolahn to his own orchistruss accompaniment; took place before the internatural convention of catholic midwives and found stead before the congress for the study of endonational calamities; makes a delictuous entrée and finishes off the course between sweets and savouries; flouts for forecasts, flairs for finds and the fun of the fray on the fairground; cleared out three hundred sixty five idles to set up one all khalassal for henwives hoping to have males; the flawhoolagh, the grasping one, the kindler of paschal fire; forbids us our trespassers as we forgate him; the phoenix be his pyre, the cineres his sire!; piles big pelium on little ossas like the pilluls of hirculeads; has an eatupus complex and a drinkthedregs kink; wurstmeats for chumps and cowcarlows for scullions; when he plies for our favour is very trolly ours; two psychic espousals and three desertions; may be matter of fact now but was futter of magd then; Cattermole Hill, exmountain of flesh was reared up by stress and sank under strain; tank it up, dank it up, tells the tailor to his tout; entoutcas for a man, but bit a thimble for a maid; blimp, blump; a dud letter, a sing a song a sylble; a byword, a sentence with surcease; while stands his canyouseehim frails shall fall; was hatched at Cellbridge but ejoculated abrood; as it gan in the biguinnengs so wound up in a battle of Boss; Roderick, Roderick, Roderick, O, you’ve gone the way of the Danes; variously catalogued, regularly regrouped; a bushboys holoday, a quacker’s mating, a wenches’ sandbath; the same homoheatherous checkinlossegg as when sollyeye airly blew ye; real detonation but false report; spa mad but inn sane; half emillian via bogus census but a no street hausmann when allphannd; is the handiest of all andies and a most alleghant spot to dump your hump; hands his secession to the new patricius but plumps plebmatically for the bloody old centuries; eats with doors open and ruts with gates closed; some dub him Rotshield and more limn him Rockyfellow; shows he’s fly to both demisfairs but thries to cover up his tracers; seven dovecotes cooclaim to have been pigeonheim to this homer, Smerrnion, Rhoebok, Kolonsreagh, Seapoint, Quayhowth, Ashtown, Ratheny; independent of the lordship of chamberlain, acknowledging the rule of Rome; we saw thy farm at Useful Prine, Domhnall, Domhnall; reeks like Illbelpaese and looks like Iceland’s ear; lodged at quot places, lived through tot reigns; takes a szumbath for his weekend and a wassarnap for his refreskment; after a good bout at stoolball enjoys Giroflee Giroflaa; what Nevermore missed and Colombo found; believes in everyman his own goaldkeeper and in Africa for the fullblacks; the arc of his drive was forty full and his stumps were pulled at eighty; boasts him to the thick-in-thews the oldest creater in Aryania and looks down on the Suiss family Collesons whom he calls les nouvelles roches; though his heart, soul and spirit turn to pharaoph times, his love, faith and hope stick to futuerism; light leglifters cense him souriantes from afore while boor browbenders curse him grommelants to his hindmost; between youlasses and yeladst glimse of Even; the Lug his peak has, the Luk his pile; drinks tharr and wodhar for his asama and eats the unparishable sow to styve off reglar rack; the beggars cloak them reclined about his paddystool, the whores winken him as they walk their side; on Christienmas at Advent Lodge, New Yealand, after a lenty illness the roeverand Mr Easterling of pentecostitis, no followers by bequest, fanfare all private; Gone Where Glory Waits Him (Ball, bulletist) but Not Here Yet (Maxwell, clark); comminxed under articles but phoenished a borgiess; from the vat on the bier through the burre in the dark to the buttle of the bawn; is A1 an the highest but Roh re his root; filled fanned of hackleberries whenas all was tuck and toss up for him as a yangster to fall fou of hockinbechers wherein he had gauged the use of raisin; ads aliments, das doles, raps rustics, tams turmoil; sas seed enough for a semination but sues skivvies on the sly; learned to speak from hand to mouth till he could talk earish with his eyes shut; hacked his way through hickheckhocks but hanged hishelp from there hereafters; rialtos, annesleyg, binn and balls to say nothing atolk of New Comyn; the gleam of the glow of the shine of the sun through the dearth of the dirth on the blush of the brick of the viled ville of Barnehulme has dust turned to brown; these dyed to tartan him, rueroot, dulse, bracken, teasel, fuller’s ash, sundew and cress; long gunn but not for cotton; stood his sharp assault of famine but grew girther, girther and girther; he has twenty four or so cousins germinating in the United States of America and a namesake with an initial difference in the once kingdom of Poland; his first’s a young rose and his second’s French-Egyptian and his whole means a slump at Christie’s; forth of his pierced part came the woman of his dreams, blood thicker then water last trade overseas; buyshop of Glintylook, eorl of Hoed; you and I are in him surrented by brwn bldns; Elin’s flee polt pelhaps but Hwang Chang evelytime; he one was your of highbigpipey boys but fancy him as smoking fags his at time of life; Mount of Mish, Mell of Moy; had two cardinal ventures and three capitol sinks; has a peep in his pocketbook and a packetboat in his keep; B.V.H., B.L.G., P.P.M., T.D.S., V.B.D., T.C.H., L.O.N.; is Breakfates, Lunger, Diener and Souper; as the streets were paved with cold he felt his topperairy; taught himself skating and learned how to fall; distinctly dirty but rather a dear; hoveth chieftains evrywehr, with morder; Ostman Effendi, Serge Paddishaw; baases two mmany, outpriams al’ his parisites; first of the fenians, roi des fainéants; his Tiara of scones was held unfillable till one Liam Fail felled him in Westmunster; was struck out of his sittem when he rowed saulely to demask us and to our appauling predicament brought as plagues from Buddapest; put a matchhead on an aspenstalk and set the living a fire; speared the rod and spoiled the lightning; married with cakes and repunked with pleasure; till he was buried howhappy was he and he made the welkins ring with Up Micawber!; god at the top of the staircase, carrion on the mat of straw; the false hood of a spindler web chokes the cavemouth of his unsightliness but the nestlings that liven his leafscreen sing him a lover of arbuties; we strike hands over his bloodied warsheet but we are pledged entirely to his green mantle; our friend vikelegal, our swaran foi; under the four stones by his streams who vanished the wassailbowl at the joy of shells; Mora and Lora had a hill of a high time looking down on his confusion till firm look in readiness, forward spear and the windfoot of curach strewed the lakemist of Lego over the last of his fields; we darkened for you, faulterer, in the year of mourning but we’ll fidhil to the dimtwinklers when the streamy morvenlight calls up the sunbeam; his striped pantaloons, his rather strange walk; hereditatis columna erecta, hagion chiton eraphon; nods a nap for the nonce but crows cheerio when they get ecunemical; is a simultaneous equator of elimbinated integras when three upon one is by inspection improper; has the most conical hodpiece of confusianist heronim and that chuchuffuous chinchin of his is like a footsey kungoloo around Taishantyland; he’s as globeful as a gasometer of lithium and luridity and he was thrice ten anular years before he wallowed round Raggiant Circos; the cabalstone at the coping of his cavin is a canine constant but only an amirican could apparoxemete the apeupresiosity of his atlast’s alongement; sticklered rights and lefts at Baddersdown in his hunt for the boar trwth but made his end with the modareds that came at him in Camlenstrete; a hunnibal in exhaustive conflict, an otho to return; burning body to aiger air on melting mountain in wooing wave; we go into him sleepy children, we come out of him strucklers for life; he divested to save from the Mrs Drownings their rival queens while Grimshaw, Bragshaw and Renshaw made off with his storen clothes; taxed and rated, licensed and ranted; his threefaced stonehead was found on a whitehorse hill and the print of his costellous feet is seen in the goat’s grasscircle; pull the blind, toll the deaf and call dumb, lame and halty; Miraculone, Monstrucceleen; led the upplaws at the Creation and hissed a snake charmer off her stays; hounded become haunter, hunter become fox; harrier, marrier, terrier, tav; Olaph the Oxman, Thorker the Tourable; you feel he is Vespasian yet you think of him as Aurelius; whugamore, tradertory, socianist, commoniser; made a summer assault on our shores and begiddy got his sands full; first he shot down Raglan Road and then he tore up Marlborough Place; Cromlechheight and Crommalhill were his farfamed feetrests when our lurch as lout let free into the Lubar heloved; mareschalled his wardmotes and delimited the main; netted before nibbling, can scarce turn a scale but, grossed after meals, weighs a town in himself; Banba prayed for his conversion, Beurla missed that grand old voice; a Colossus among cabbages, the Melarancitrone of fruits; larger than life, doughtier than death; Gran Turco, orege forment; lachsembulger, leperlean; the sparkle of his genial fancy, the depth of his calm sagacity, the clearness of his spotless honour, the flow of his boundless benevolence; our family furbear, our tribal tarnpike; quary was he invincibled and cur was he burked; partitioned Irskaholm, united Irishmen; he took a svig at his own methyr but she tested a bit gorky and as for the salmon he was coming up in him all life long; comm, eilerdich hecklebury and sawyer thee, warden; silent as the bee in honey, stark as the breath on hauwck, Costello, Kinsella, Mahony, Moran, though you rope Amrique your home ruler is Dan; figure right, he is hoisted by the scurve of his shaggy neck, figure left, he is rationed in isobaric patties among the crew; one asks was he poisoned, one thinks how much did he leave; ex-gardener (Riesengebirger), fitted up with planturous existencies would make Roseoogreedy (mite’s) little hose; taut sheets and scuppers awash but the oil silk mack Liebsterpet micks his aquascutum; the enjoyment he took in kay women, the employment he gave to gee men; sponsor to a squad of piercers, ally to a host of rawlies; against lightning, explosion, fire, earthquake, flood, whirlwind, burglary, third party, rot, loss of cash, loss of credit, impact of vehicles; can rant as grave as oxtail soup and chat as gay as a porto flippant; is unhesitent in his unionism and yet a pigotted nationalist; Sylviacola is shy of him, Matrosenhosens nose the joke; shows the sinews of peace in his chest-o-wars; fiefeofhome, ninehundred and thirtunine years of copyhold; is aldays open for polemypolity’s sake when he’s not suntimes closed for the love of Janus; sucks life’s eleaxir from the pettipickles of the Jewess and ruoulls in sulks if any popeling runs down the Huguenots; Boomaport, Walleslee, Ubermeerschall Blowcher and Supercharger, Monsieur Ducrow, Mister Mudson, master gardiner; to one he’s just paunch and judex, to another full of beans and brehons; hallucination, cauchman, ectoplasm; passed for baabaa blacksheep till he grew white woo woo woolly; was drummatoysed by Mac Milligan’s daughter and put to music by one shoebard; all fitzpatricks in his emirate remember him, the boys of wetford hail him babu; indanified himself with boro tribute and was schenkt publicly to brigstoll; was given the light in drey orchafts and entumuled in threeplexes; his likeness is in Terrecuite and he giveth rest to the rainbowed; lebriety, frothearnity and quality; his reverse makes a virtue of necessity while his obverse mars a mother by invention; beskilk his gunwale and he’s the second imperial, untie points, unhook tenters and he’s lath and plaster; calls upon Allthing when he fails to appeal to Eachovos; basidens, ardree, kongsemma, rexregulorum; stood into Dee mouth, then backed broadside on Baulacleeva; either eldorado or ultimate thole; a kraal of fou feud fires, a crawl of five pubs; laid out lashings of laveries to hunt down his family ancestors and then pled double trouble or quick quits to hush the buckers up; threw pebblets for luck over one sodden shoulder and dragooned peoplades armed to their teeth; pept as Gaudio Gambrinus, grim as Potter the Grave; ace of arts, deuce of damimonds, trouble of clubs, fear of spates; cumbrum, cumbrum, twiniceynurseys fore a drum but tre to uno tips the scale; reeled the titleroll opposite a brace of girdles in Silver on the Screen but was sequenced from the set as Crookback by the even more titulars, Rick, Dave and Barry; he can get on as early as the twentysecond of Mars but occasionally he doesn’t come offbefore Virgintiquinque Germinal; his Indian name is Hapapoosiesobjibway and his number in arithmosophy is the stars of the plough; took weapon in the province of the pike and let fling his line on Eelwick; moves in vicous cicles yet remews the same; the drain rats bless his offals while the park birds curse his floodlights; Portobello, Equadocta, Therecocta, Percorello; he pours into the softclad shellborn the hard cash earned in Watling Street; his birth proved accidental shows his death its grave mistake; brought us giant ivy from the land of younkers and bewitthered Apostolopolos with the gale of his gall; while satisfied that soft youthful bright matchless girls should bosom into fine silkclad joyous blooming young women is not so pleased that heavy swearsome strongsmelling irregularshaped men should blottout active handsome wellformed frankeyed boys; herald hairyfair, alloaf the wheat; husband your aunt and endow your nepos; hearken but hush it, screen him and see; time is, an archbishopric, time was, a tradesmen’s entrance; beckburn brooked with wath, scale scarred by scow; his rainfall is a couple of kneehighs while his meanst grass temperature marked three in the shade; is the meltingpoint of snow and the bubblingplace of alcohol; has a tussle with the trulls and then does himself justice; hinted at in the eschatological chapters of Humphrey’s Justesse of the Jaypees and hunted for by Theban recensors who sniff there’s something behind the Bug of the Deaf; the king was in his cornerwall melking mark so murry, the queen was steep in armbour feeling fain and furry, the mayds was midst the hawthorns shoeing up their hose, out pimps the back guards (pomp!) and pump gun they goes; to all his foretellers he reared a stone and for all his comethers he planted a tree; forty acres, sixty miles, white stripe, red stripe, washes his fleet in annacrwatter; whou missed a porter so whot shall he do for he wanted to sit for Pimploco but they’ve caught him to stand for Sue?; Dutchlord, Dutchlord, overawes us; Headmound, king and martyr, dunstung in the Yeast, Pitre-le-Pore-in Petrin, Barth-the-Grete-by-the-Exchange; he hestens towards dames troth and wedding hand like the prince of Orange and Nassau while he has trinity left behind him like Bowlbeggar Bill-the-Bustonly; brow of a hazelwood, pool in the dark; changes blowicks into bullocks and a well of Artesia into a bird of Arabia; the handwriting on his facewall, the cryptoconchoidsiphonostomata in his exprussians; his birthspot lies beyond the herospont and his burialplot in the pleasant little field; is the yldist kiosk on the pleninsula and the unguest hostel in Saint Scholarland; walked many hundreds and many score miles of streets and lit thousands in one nightlights in hectares of windows; his great wide cloak lies on fifteen acres and his little white horse decks by dozens our doors; O sorrow the sail and woe the rudder that were set for Mairie Quai!; his suns the huns, his dartars the tartars, are plenty here today; who repulsed from his burst the bombolts of Ostenton and falchioned each flash downsaduck in the deep; apersonal problem, a locative enigma; upright one, vehicule of arcanisation in the field, lying chap, floodsupplier of celiculation through ebblanes; a part of the whole as a port for a whale; Dear Hewitt Castello, Equerry, were daylighted with our outing and are looking backwards to unearly summers, from Rhoda Dundrums; is above the seedfruit level and outside the leguminiferous zone; when older links lock older hearts then he’ll resemble she; can be built with glue and clippings, scrawled or voided on a buttress; the night express sings his story, the song of sparrownotes on his stave of wires; he crawls with lice, he swarms with saggarts; is as quiet as a mursque but can be as noisy as a sonogog; was Dilmun when his date was palmy and Mudlin when his nut was cracked; suck up the sease, lep laud at ease, one lip on his lap and one cushlin his crease; his porter has a mighty grasp and his baxters the boon of broadwhite; as far as wind dries and rain eats and sun turns and water bounds he is exalted and depressed, assembled and asundered; go away, we are deluded, come back, we are disghosted; bored the Ostrov, leapt the Inferus, swam the Mabbul and flure the Moyle; like fat, like fatlike tallow, of greasefulness, yea of dripping greasefulness; did not say to the old, old, did not say to the scorbutic, scorbutic; he has founded a house, Uru, a house he has founded to which he has assigned its fate; bears a raaven geulant on a fjeld duiv; ruz the halo offhis varlet when he appeared to his shecook as Haycock, Emmet, Boaro, Toaro, Osterich, Mangy and Skunk; pressed the beer of aled age out of the nettles of rashness; put a roof on the lodge for Hymn and a coq in his pot pro homo; was dapifer then pancircensor then hortifex magnus; the topes that tippled on him, the types that toppled off him; still starts our hares yet gates our goat; pocketbook packetboat, gapman gunrun; the light of other days, dire dreary darkness; our awful dad, Timour of Tortur; puzzling, startling, shocking, nay, perturbing; went puffing from king’s brugh to new customs, doffing the gibbous off him to every breach of all size; with Pa’s new heft and Papa’s new helve he’s Papapa’s old cutlass Papapapa left us; when youngheaded oldshouldered and middlishneck aged about; caller herring everydaily, turgid tarpon overnight; see Loryon the comaleon that changed endocrine history by loeven his loaf with forty bannucks; she drove him dafe till he driv her blind up; the pigeons doves be perchin all over him one day on Baslesbridge and the ravens duv be pitchin their dark nets after him the next night behind Koenigstein’s Arbour; tronf of the rep, comf of the priv, prosp of the pub; his headwood it’s ideal if his feet are bally clay; he crashed in the hollow of the park, trees down, as he soared in the vaguum of the phoenix, stones up; looks like a moultain boultter and sounds like a rude word; the mountain view, some lumin pale round a lamp of succar in boinyn water; three shots a puddy at up blup saddle; made up to Miss MacCormack Ni Lacarthy who made off with Darly Dermod, swank and swarthy; once diamond cut garnet now dammat cuts groany; you might find him at the Florence but watch our for him in Wynn’s Hotel; theer’s his bow and wheer’s his leaker and heer lays his bequiet hearse, deep; Swed Albiony, likeliest villain of the place; Hennery Canterel—Cockran, eggotisters, limitated; we take our tays and frees our fleas round sadurn’s mounted foot; built the Lund’s kirk and destroyed the church’s land; who guesse his title grabs his deeds; fletch and prities, fash and chaps; artful Juke of Wilysly; Hugglebelly’s Funniral; Kukkuk Kallikak; heard in camera and excruciated; boon when with benches billeted, bann if buckshotbackshattered; heavengendered, chaosfoedted, earthborn; his father presumptively ploughed it deep on overtime and his mother as all evince must have travailled her fair share; a footprinse on the Megacene, hetman unwhorsed by Searingsand; honorary captain of the extemporised fire brigade, reported to be friendly with the police; the door is still open; the old stock collar is coming back; not forgetting the time you laughed at Elder Charterhouse’s duckwhite pants and the way you said the whole township can see his hairy legs; by stealth of a kersse her aulburntress abaft his nape she hung; when his kettle became a hearthsculdus our thorstyites set their lymphyamphyre; his yearletter concocted by masterhands of assays, his hallmark imposed by the standard of wrought plate; a pair of pectorals and a triplescreen to get a wind up; lights his pipe with a rosin tree and hires a towhorse to haul his shoes; cures slavey’s scurvy, breaks barons boils; called to sell polosh and was found later in a bedroom; has his seat of justice, his house of mercy, his com o’copious and his stacks a’rye; prospector, he had a rooksacht, retrospector, he holds the holpenstake; won the freedom of new yoke for the minds of jugoslaves; acts active, peddles in passivism and is a gorgon of selfridgeousness; pours a laughsworth of his illformation over a larmsworth of salt; half heard the single maiden speech La Belle spun to her Grand Mount and wholed a lifetime by his ain fireside, wondering was it hebrew set to himmeltones or the quicksilversong of qwaternions; his troubles may be over but his doubles have still to come; the lobster pot that crabbed our keel, the garden pet that spoiled our squeezed peas; he stands in a lovely park, sea is not far, importunate towns of X, Y and Z are easily over reached; is an excrescence to civilised humanity and but a wart on Europe; wanamade singsigns to soundsense an yit he wanna git all his flesch nuemaid motts truly prural and plusible; has excisively large rings and is uncustomarily perfumed; lusteth ath he listeth the cleah whithpeh of a themise; is a prince of the fingallian in a hiberniad of hoolies; has a hodge to wherry him and a frenchy to curry him and a brabanson for his beeter and a fritz at his switch; was waylaid of a parker and beschotten by a buckeley; kicks lintils when he’s cuppy and casts Jacob’s arroroots, dime after dime, to poor waifstrays on the perish; reads the charms of H. C. Endersen all the weaks of his evenin and the crimes of Ivaun the Taurrible every strongday morn; soaps you soft to your face and slaps himself when he’s badend; owns the bulgiest bungbarrel that ever was tiptapped in the privace of the Mullingar Inn; was bom with a nuasilver tongue in his mouth and went round the coast of Iron with his lift hand to the scene; raised but two fingers and yet smelt it would day; for whom it is easier to found a see in Ebblannah than for I or you to find a dubbeltye in Dampsterdamp; to live with whom is a lifemayor and to know whom a liberal education; was dipped in Hoily Olives and chrysmed in Scent Otooles; hears cricket on the earth but annoys the life out of predikants; still turns the durc’s ear of Darius to the now thoroughly infurioted one of God; made Man with juts that jerk and minted money mong maney; likes a six acup pudding when he’s come whome sweetwhome; has come through all the eras of livsadventure from moonshine and shampaying down to clouts and pottled porter; woollem the farsed, hahnreich the althe, charge the sackend, writchad the thord; if a mandrake shricked to convultures at last surviving his birth the weibduck will wail bitternly over the rotter’s resurrection; loses weight in the moon night but gird girder by the sundawn; with one touch of nature set a veiled world agrin and went within a sheet of tissuepaper of the option of three gaols; who could see at one blick a saumon taken with a lance, hunters pursuing a doe, a swallowship in full sail, a whyterobe lifting a host; faced flappery like old King Cnut and turned his back like Cincinnatus; is a farfar and morefar and a hoar father Nakedbucker in villas old as new; squats aquart and cracks aquaint when it’s flaggin in town and on haven; blows whiskery around his summit but stehts stout upon his footles; stutters fore he falls and goes mad entirely when he’s waked; is Timb to the pearly mom and Tomb to the mourning night; and an he had the best bunbaked bricks in bould Babylon for his pitching plays he’d be lost for the want of his wan wubblin wall?

Answer: Finn MacCool!

[cloudynet-blog]

          h A H   pce   signs   in   here   like   hey   how   ya   doin’   .  .  .   i’m   prim   ,   twenty-two   ,   from   the   est   timezone   !   i’m   kinda   dumb   &   a   serial   procrastinating   dumb   dumb   sippin   on   capri   sun    so    pls    .  .  .   forgive   how   nonsensical   i   sound   99.98%   of   the   time   !   so   here’s   haesung   .  .  .   local   chaotic   evil   cryptid   .  .  .  u   can   find   haesung’s   info   down   below  ,  &  here’s  his  pinterest   board   &   like   .  .  .   how   cool   wuld   it   be   if   we   held   hands   in   the   mcdonalds   parking   lot   &   plotted   🥺   feel   free   to   hmu   on   discord   or   ims   !  @loginlanding​ 

BASIC INFO

name:  son  haesung  . 

nickname(s):  haezy  .

age:  twenty-two  .

birthday:  1 / 21 / 98  .

birthplace:  seattle  ,  wa

gender:  cismale  .

pronouns:  he / him

sexual orientation:  bisexual  ,  demiromantic  .

education:  nyu  ,  class  of  2019  .

APPEARANCE . 

height:  5′11″

weight:  62  kg

build:  slim  fit  .

hair colour:  currently  faded  grey  ,  prob  dyeing  back  to  brown  . 

eye colour:  dark  brown  .

clothing preferences:  tightly  bound  prefs  between  black  ,  white  ,  grey  ,  anything  slouchy  or  simple  ,  graphic  tees  &  jeans  torn  beyond  repair  ,  no-show  socks  bc  ankles  out  bitches

tattoos:  aquarius  constellation  on  right  wrist  ,  small  cross  on  left  thumb  .

piercings:  double  lobe  l / r  ,  right  helix  &  double  tragus  l / r  . 

distinguishing features:  extended  scar  running  down  the  lower  part  of  his  shoulder  ,  down  to  the  small  of  his  back  ,  owing  to  a  minor  motorcycle  crash  from  a  couple  yrs  back  .

PERSONALITY . 

positive traits:  cordial  ,  sanguine  ,  mildly  breakneck  &  dynamic  ,  empathetic  ,  quick-witted  . 

negative traits:  frigid  ,  sardonic  ,  overly  analytical  ,  morbidly  pessimistic  ,  reticent  . 

likes:  spearmint  gum  ,  long  showers  ,  clean  cotton  scent  ,  rum  raisin  ,  2am  drives  ,  junji  ito  ,  biting  the  shit  out  of  straws  .

dislikes:  pistachio  ice  cream  ,  humid  weather  ,  slow  walkers  bc  he’ll  mow  u  tf  down  . 

GAME INFO . 

position: currently  substitute  ,  usually  dps  /  support  .

main:  mccree  . 

secondary:  ana  .

who do they play for fun:  mei  ,  d.va  ,  reaper  ,  sombra  . 

who are they worst at?:  roadhog  ,  orisa  .

HEADCANONS / BIO . 

stupid  ghostie  vibin  boy  from  seattle  /  slightly demented  /  cold  at  first  glance  ,  freeze  ur  limbs  off  levels  of  hypothermia  if  he  hates  u  /  kinda   cares  lowkey  uknow  ,  he’ll  either  buy  u  vodka  @  2am  &  indulge  in  sadboi  alcoholism  or  help  u  hide  a  body  ,  either  way  he  be  like  that  /  extremely  sarcastic  /  a  little  softer  spoken  but  bitter  nonetheless  with  his  remarks  /  will  absolutely  let  u  get  eaten  by  some  creature  in  the  forest  unless  u’ve  bought  him  food  before  /  cryptid  in  past  &  current  timeline  /  haesung  @  3am  ‘  hey  u  awake  do  u  wanna  summon  a  demon  n  shit  ’  /  horror buff  /  joined  the  alliance  a  bit  late  as  a  substitute  /  shrugs  it  off  bc  he  knows  he’s  a  regular  struggle  bus  when  it  comes  to  keeping  up  w/the  rest  of  the  team  bc  he’s  just  .  .  rly  lowkey  /  rarely  gets  heated 

CONNECTIONS . 

friends  in  general  ! !  ik  he’s  not  the  most  social  &  can  be  mildly  prickly  ,  but  he  actually  does  have  friends  ,  shocker  .  will  prob  throw  some  barbed  remark  every  now  &  then  ,  but  he’s  loyal  to  a  fault  to  anyone  he  gives  a  s/t  abt  ,  there’ll  be  a  lot  of  verbal  sparring  but  he’ll  do  anything  for  u  if  he  trusts  u  .  ok  .  .  .  so maybe  u  gotta  bribe  him  first  tho  . 

cryptid  buddy  !  !  basically  he’s  a  shithead  after  1am  &  drags  this  person  arnd  to  decrepit  places  in  nyc  (  ‘  u  kno  like  .  .  .  3  ppl  went  missing  on  these  grounds  isn’t  that  sick  ?  ?  ’  )  big  time  victim  to  haesung’s  antics  . 

love  hate  /  tom  &  jerry  !  !  he  doesn’t  talk  much  ,  but  when  he  does  ,  it’s  prob  some  sharp  fckin  remark  that  incites  a  fight  ,  100%  there’s  someone  he’s  always  going  to  war  with  verbally  -  they do  kinda  give  a  shit  abt  each  other  tho  .

mentor  !  !  someone  to  kick  his  ass  into  gear  (  has  to  be  alliance  )  &  get  him  a  little  more  motivated  than  he  is  .  

tricked  out  fwb  !  !  sort  of  seeing  either  haesung  sleeping  arnd  no  strings  attached  w/someone  ,  is  simultaneously  rly  close  to  them  &  confides  in  them  .  we  stan  .  .  .  this  kinda  dynamic  . 

romantics  !  !  haesung  is  boo  boo  the  fool  with  realizing  anything  remotely  romantic  ,  it  could  kick  him  in  the  crotch  &  he  still  won’t  see  it  .  i  could  def  see  crushes  ,  genuine  moments  of  love  where  he’s  just  like  shit  .  .  .  tf  am  i  dying  ?  his  heart  beating  a  lil  too  fast  &  he’s  burning  up  so  he  tries  to  self  diagnose  on  webmd 

honestly  give  me  ANYTHING  y’all  love  u  guys  

[starxshine]

@warringpeace for Captain Conrad

Hokulani Crawford loved the first hour of the day. Her classroom sat facing the south-east, which meant the morning sun poured in through the large glass windows, filtered by the leaves of the big oak tree outside. The sunlight warmed her up and painted dapples of light and shadow across her students’ desks. She was always the first one to arrive, before her students, which gave her a chance to enjoy the light show on her own and reflect on what she had planned for the day. 

There was a restlessness in her students when the warning bell finally rang and they started to filter in and noisily take their seats. They were starting a new project which was always a cause for excitement. Hoku often tried to break up the monotony of the formal lessons and many reading assignments with more practical lessons that her kids would hopefully find entertaining. It not only helped keep them engaged but also helped them to improve their writing skills in a way that it felt like it meant something. 

When they were finally settled, she walked down the center aisle, passing down two things they would need for their assignment: the slips of paper detailing what they would be doing and tips on what to write if they got stuck, and a new letter-sized notepad each. They each were going to be writing a pen pal. When she had been their age she remembered having a similar assignment writing a girl in Germany. Hoku remembered how excited she had been to share her secrets and dreams with Emily and to get letters back that held all of her secrets.

 It was only after she had reached the back of the class did Hoku realize she still had a notepad and assignment paper left. She counted the backs of her students' heads; they were all there. She had indeed miscounted, something unusual for her. She returned to the front of the classroom and her desk in the corner by the windows as her students chatted quietly among themselves and started to write. She had signed her students up for Adopt-a-Soldier as part of their Civic project. When she had first brought it up the whole class seemed excited, which now showed in physical form, which she was happy for as she had been unsure of how they would react to such a thing in the first place. 

As she sat in her chair, she glanced at the slip of paper in her hand and thought about just setting it aside, but then some poor soldier would be the only one in his unit not to get a letter. There he was, far away from home and family, sacrificing himself to save his county the best way he could. it broke her heart. On the other hand, she hadn’t had a pen pal since Emily. She’d never written a boy, let alone a full-grown man, as a pen pal. The thought of it made her nervous. What could she even say to him? Then her conscience got the better of her. How could she, safe at home, not take a few uncomfortable minutes to brighten up a soldier’s day? It was the right thing to do, damn it. 

As she set the notepad down in front of her and picked up a pen, her teeth worried her plump bottom lip as she realized just how difficult this task might be. She wasn’t sure what to write, but if twenty of her students could do it, she sure as hell could. 

“Looks like you’re stuck with me, Captian James Conrad,” she murmured to herself. She hoped she didn’t bore the poor Captain because she wasn’t all that interesting, but in the end, she decided simplest was the way to go. 

Dear Captian,

It looks as though you’re stuck with me as your pen pall. I’m pretty boring, but maybe I can make it up to you by sending some of my homemade goodies. You’ll just have to tell me what you like and don’t like. Raisins? Nuts? Chocolate chip? Let me know and I’ll send you a whole box of something. 

As you know, your unit got assigned to my class as a part of the Adopt-a-Soldier project. I made a boo-boo in my counting (I was never the greatest at math) which means you got me. The teacher. I suppose I should start off with a bit about myself. 

I’m a twenty-eight-year-old teacher on the North Shore of Oahu. I went to UH Manoa as I was born and raised in Hawaii, or to be more precise, on Oahu. I teach English and this is my fifth year in the trenches of Kahuku High & Intermediate School. Go Red Raiders! Now, this is the part where I tell you that despite the fact that Kahuku is especially known for its football team, I know jack about football outside of the fact that I’m supposed to yell go Red Raiders when we score a touchdown. 

I spend my weekends trying out new recipes, or with my nose in a book, or on my board riding waves. I love the color blue, own a cat named Kalapana who thinks she runs the world and could spend my days stretched out on a towel on the sand in the sun and be utterly content. Some might call me a homebody. Okay, this si starting to feel like I’m feeling out a profile on a dating app. As you can most likely see, I ramble when I get nervous, and writing a strange man seems to have done that to me. 

I look forward to your letters, Captian, and making you a little less strange to me. Please stay safe and thank you for everything you do. 

Ms. Hoku

The bell rang as she signed her name and she sighed. She was timid when it came to men, but maybe this would break her out of her shell. After all, what was the worst that could happen? He didn’t write back?

[fanatic-scribe]

A Bottle and Some Cards

Chapter 1/?

Fandom: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012)

Word count: 2,484/2,484

Ao3: Here

Characters: Donatello (main), Casey Jones (main), everyone else

Pairing: Donatello/Casey Jones

Warnings: Aged-Up Character, Drinking Games, Slow Burn (kinda)

Ch 1 / / Ch2 (coming soon) / /

Summary:

Ethanol is the intoxicating part of alcohol and its molecules are so small that they can actually pass into the gaps between brain cells. There it can interfere with the neurotransmitters that enable all the brain’s activities. If you drink fast, alcohol will start to flood the brain. Alcohol affects parts of the brain responsible for self-control. And that is why Donatello did all this dumb shit to himself.

A/N: Just something fun I made for the hell of it. There may be other pairings in this but Idk yet.

This work will be tagged with #B&C tmnt

Chapter 1: Salt and Lime

“Pussy.” Mikey huffed at Casey as the human chugged down his cup of beer. Casey stuck out his middle finger as he drank.

“I’d say sensible,” Donnie chimed in, “the dare said to ‘drink a concoction of whatever the opponent makes using whatever they can find in the kitchen.’”

“Yeah so?” The other’s looked at him dumbfounded. Flashes of Mikey’s bizarre “food” concoctions from when he was a young chief, and them too worried to crush his dreams, flash in their minds.

Taking turns they began to reminisce of his old creations. The ‘Squid Oatmeal Pizza.’ that Raph still swears he saw an eye on. But, as Donnie pointed out at the time, “It could be a raisin. You know, from the the...oatmeal...part?” at least that's what the boys keep telling themselves. They ate the entire pizza that night.

And who could forget the ‘Apple Pizza Pie Suprise’ with ‘All the wonders of both pies together with a twist!’ Poor April, who had not yet tried his creations and was too late to hear the turtle’s warnings, found the twist quickly after chewing on the bite only once. The brother’s had watched helplessly as their best friend’s soul left her body to the depths of hell. The pizza part of this creation was a classic Mikey order that she has seen only once; double anchovies, roasted garlic, chocolate, cappuccino pizza. The only thing that had stopped her from spitting it out before Mikey had walked away was the shock of the taste, it had paralyzed her. All she could do was open her mouth to let the food fall onto her plate and push it directly into the trash next to her. None of the brothers could blame her. She remembers her bite having a certain pop to it that she tried many years to forget.

‘Asian cowboy fusion calzone dude!’ Is what had gotten Karai. By this point, Mikey was a better cook, he would make odd foods for himself all the time still but no one had told Karai. She took a small bite that Mikey offered her but immediately spit it out, much to the turtle’s amusement as he was laughing. She found out later that to Mikey “cowboy” meant beans and s’mores and “Asian” meant teriyaki sauce, ginger, and shrimp. Karai learned an important lesson that day, never trust Mikey’s original cooking.

“And that was all him being nice and trying to cook.” Casey added pouring himself another cup of beer, “This would be him making something bad for my dare.” Everyone shuttered thinking about the horrors that could have been. Except for one bubbly laugh.

“Yeah, you’re right dude.” Mikey took a drink from his cup, “I get creative when I’m drunk so I probably would have killed you.” They all chuckled at this, everyone would have rather drunk.

They loved their weekends together because they got to do this, have fun and laugh. April was in college and spent a lot of time studying, even if she came to the lair at least four times a week. Casey wasn’t in college but he had a job at his local ice arena, he helped teach young kids hockey and did general cleaning and maintenance, that kept him pretty busy. Karai was always busy, over the time she took over the Foot Clan had reclaimed their good name but she was still having to deal with certain people still loyal to Shredder or mob bosses who saw her as an easy hit. Even if they were busy they still would try to gather together every weekend to relax and half fun together. This Friday night, with alcohol already clouding their minds, they were playing Truth, Dare or Drink.

Leaning forward Casey took hold of the bottle and spun it, still leaning forward he plucked up a dare card not looking at the words yet. “Wow, Casey Jones picked dare.” Donnie chaffed, “Did not see that one coming.” Casey smiled cheerfully at the turtle with wide eyes, gap teeth, and a middle finger on both hands. There was a chuckle at their banter, Donnie had become comfortable with it and often looked forward to his time with Casey. They had truly become good friends.

As the sound rolling of glass slowly dulled so did everyone’s voice until both were silent. The neck of the bottle pointing, if a bit vaguely, at Donnie. Mikey oohed with excitement like Casey Mikey enjoyed movement rather than talking so he always preferred dares. Hopefully, this dare won’t be a drink instead.

Dramatically, Casey lifted his arm to point at the turtle, “Donatello! The cards dare you to,” He lifted the card up to read aloud, “do a body shot off your opponent.” There was a chorus of laughs and oos from everyone as Donnie shook his head.

“No, no. I’m not doing that. I’ll drink.” Everyone turned to boo him. “BOOO!” he answered.

“Donnie you haven’t done one dare!”

“Mikey, I’ve only gotten one other dare.”

“AND YOU DIDN’T DO IT!” Mikey was having a hard time trying to understand what Donnie didn’t get about this very simple topic. Just before Donnie could say anything Raph leaned forward from his spot on the couch interjecting their argument.

“Hey come on, it's fine. This is Donnie’s choice.” He paused for a second taking a drink from his cup as everyone looked surprised. He smirked as he pulled the cup away, “And he’s choosing to be a fucking killjoy.” There were a few laughs as Donnie just rolled his eyes, he reached for his cup leaning forward from his spot on the floor.

A hand reached out and stopped his wrist, he followed the hand up to April who had walked over to him from her seat next to Karai. She was crouched down sitting on her heels, he ninja training with the other girls must be going great, he had not even heard her move. “Look, Donnie,” He’s heard that tone of voice before, “if you don’t want to do this that’s fine but you had two easy dares. Just have fun no one will make fun of you.”

“Bullshit.”

“Did you see us make fun of anyone else?” Thinking back Donnie could remember everyone laughing at crazy antics but then just more celebrating all together. When Leo had to let Raph draw on his face with a sharpie everyone was laughing, even Leo now sporting a lovely penis across his forehead among other drawings.

Donnie sighed, might as well give the people what they want, “Alright fine I’ll do it.” he said throwing his hands up. Before he could even stand up Casey and Mikey had already hoped up and started moving to the kitchen laughing and cheering. As everyone else stood and made their way to the kitchen Casey was sitting on the table, legs dangling over the sides, shrugging off his jacket and throwing it to the side. Bent over the open fridge Mikey was looking for the tequila Casey had brought over with the beer. The salt and lime already in his hands as Mikey grabbed the chilled bottle and placed the items on the table. Soon the rest of the group joined them at the table just as Casey began to pull his shirt over his head.

Donatello couldn’t help but see how the human had really grown into his frame, as a scientist observes an animal grow and mature. His muscles were more defined from when he was a gangly kid, his abdomen had the defined lines of muscle. His hips made a V just before his pants, this was accented further due to a small patch of hair leading from his belly button to bellow his pants. Donnie realized this felt different than observing and animal grow and mature, ‘Must be the alcohol.’ he thought to himself, because what else could it be? A shout from Mikey quickly shook him from his trance. “Dude, what the hell!”

“What?!”

“What the fuck is on your nipples?!”

The turtle’s had seen Casey shirtless before but something had changed. Now there was a visible bar of metal going through each nub where there hadn’t been last time. “Oh yeah,” Casey chuckled looking at his chest, “I got my nipples pierced.”

“Well, that part is obvious!” Shouted Raph, “When did you do this?”

“A little after the tongue at a shop.” Raph had known about the tongue. They had gotten their tongue piercing done together by Slash. Sure it may have been a ‘teenage at home piercing’ but it was straight and healed up just fine, that was almost a solid year and a half ago. Donnie rolled his eyes as he got to work cutting the lime, being very careful as he could feel his body sway.

“It’s just body modification, lots of humans do it.” Even though his words were indifferent his eye’s lingered on Casey’s chest, a slight amount of dark hair contrasted with the sparkling silver rings. There was something fascinating about it that just drew in Donnie’s attention, they suited Casey.

“Dude, it’s so weird looking!” Mikey reached forward and poked at the human’s nipple. Normally Casey was cool with being randomly touched by Mikey, especially in a party situation like this. However, as soon as he pressed down on Casey the turtle had his hand pushed away as Casey scooted away on the table with a nervous hum, laugh. He had reached up to covering his nipple with his hand and other arm held up to keep Mikey at a distance.

“Whoa! Ok!” There was still a chuckle with his words, “Hey Mikey lets not touch my nipples ok.” There was a questioning look in his eyes as well as everyone else, Casey shrugged, “They made my nipple more sensitive than I'm used too.” There was a slight pinkness in his cheeks as everyone briefly discussed this new topic. Donatello could feel his face heat up as well, ‘Must be from the alcohol.’ he thought.

Raph snatched the lime slice Donnie had cut and ran the fruit next to Casey’s belly button and poured salt over it, the crystals clung to the lime juice on his skin. After much debate, the group decided to pour the shot into the dip made by Casey’s pronounced collar bone when he leaned his head back. It wasn’t enough to fit an entire shot and he wasn’t allowed to move or he would pour the tequila but it made the body shot feel more authentic, whatever that means. Casey complained slightly about the cold fruit and liquor but no one really cared enough to change anything, besides it was already too late to change anything. So Casey just sat there, neck stretched back, leaning on one arm with a lime slice in his mouth waiting on a certain purple-clad turtle.

Donnie stepped between the human's legs a bit reluctantly, they looked at each other, well as best they could without Casey moving his head.  Donnie with his arms crossed, he waited for Casey to back out because surely he would by this point. But he just sat there, lime sticking out of his gap teeth surrounded by a shit-eating grin, Donnie couldn’t let that grin win. After a few more still, silent seconds Donnie took a breath and bent down.

Donatello’s rough tongue ran over the area of salt on the human’s stomach, he could feel Casey tense slightly under his tongue, he could feel the soft, warm skin as it contracted against muscle. Donnie ran over the slight dip were his abs were more defined, he couldn’t taste the human over the tart lime and salt but some animalistic part of him wanted to. Some inner part of his brain wanted to bite the human. Vaguely in the distance, he could hear hoots of encouragement but they were drowned out by the sound of hot blood rushing to his head. Still, they pulled him back to the task at hand, already forgetting his primal thought.

As Donnie stood he rested his hands on either side of Casey on the table, he leaned forward and touched his lips to the human’s collar bone and the tequila. Donnie could have sworn he heard Casey’s breath hitch over the chorus of cheers when his tongue lightly ran over the soft alcohol wet skin. With a loud, almost comically, disruptive slurp Donnie had swallowed the alcohol, it burned his throat but the salt helped.

Moving on, he leaned forward to take the lime from the other’s mouth, he bit down and pulled only to be met with resistance. Casey held onto the lime with a smirk forcing Donnie to play a game of tug o’ war for the lime, very annoying.

The turtle looked up to glare at Casey only to find black eyes already looking at him and it felt like time had frozen. Donnie wondered if he had ever looked at Casey’s eyes. Donnie thought that he had eyes like the deepest water, black and bottomless pools of onyx trying to pull the turtle in. For a moment he thought he could explore those eyes for hours trying to find their end and never get tired.

Snapped out of his daze by Casey letting go of the lime causing Donnie to stumble back from his own tugging. This earned a chuckle from the group followed by pats on his shell and congratulations. Smiling and laughing with everyone he couldn’t help but feel his heart beat faster and harder in his chest. He glanced over at Casey and saw him putting his shirt back on and laughing with Raph about how he jumped off the table and almost fall.

Everyone was using this time to talk about what had been happening in the game and to grab more snacks and drinks. Also to pet Ice Cream Kitty, like a lot. A few people cried. Petting Ice Cream Kitty is serious business. Donnie was pouring bags of snacks into different bowls when his eye’s drifted to Casey once or twice, looking for something. He was standing in front of the open freezer having just put whipped cream on the sugary cat, he then tipped his head back to fill his mouth with whipped cream. Donnie watched as his long neck stretched back, Donnie remembered how soft his skin felt against the harsh salt taste. A more animalistic part of his brain said something but it was muffled in the back of his mind.

“Don, you ok?” April’s voice pulled him out of his daze and he realized he has spilled quite a few pretzels.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine just lost focus.” He smiled and worked to clean up the spilled pretzels. Why was he so fascinated by Casey?

‘Must be from the alcohol.’ he thought.

Notes:

Hope you liked it! I know nothing happened yet. Bummer. Well, the next chapter will be coming soon! Sometime next week Maybe

[the-bejeesus]

One Piece Birthdays: Honorable Mentions

     One Piece has hundreds of characters, and over the past year I’ve celebrated the birthdays of only about a few hundred or so of them. So I’d like to take the time to mention every One Piece character without a birthday. Some don’t have birthdays because they’ve debuted too recently, some have no birthdays because they have been forgotten. Some have no birthdays because we haven’t gotten to that yet, even though they’ve existed for a long time and we remember them. To start off with, I will mention every character that exists within the canon that have names. Some you’ll remember. Some you won’t recognize, but if I showed you a picture of them you’d be like “Oh yeah that guy”. And then some of them you won’t have any recollection of, and I can’t blame you for it. Today, we will honor your memories, and hope that one day, Eiichiro Oda gives you a birthday.

Abdullah

Acilia

Adele

Aggie 68

Agotogi

Agsilly

Agyo

Ahho Desunen IX

Ahho Zurako

Akumai

Ally

Anjo

Antonio

Aremo Ganmi

Tsumegeri Guards (Hyota, Brahm, Arrow, and Barrel)

Arthur

Asahija

Aswa

Attach

Bacura

Baggaley

Banchi

Banchina

Banshee

Gyoro, Nin, and Bao

Bariete

Barry

Basilisk

Bastille

Batchee

Baxcon

Beer VI

Belo Betty

Belladonna

Bellett

Bian

Bimine

Biyo

Blackback

Blue Fan

Bobbin

Bobby Funk

Bobomba

Bogard

Bomba

Super Spot-Billed Duck Squad (Stomp, Ivan X, Cowboy, Bourbon Jr., Kentauros, Hikoichi, and Eyelashes)

Braham

Brew

Brocca

Broyé

Buche

Buhichuck

Bunny Joe

Bushon

Busshiri

Byron

Camel

Cancer

Cands

Capone Pez

Carne

Catacombo

Chabo

Chao

Charlotte Amande

Charlotte Anglais

Charlotte Basskarte

Charlotte Bavarois

Charlotte Brownie

Charlotte Cadenza

Charlotte Cabalatta

Charlotte Cinnamon

Charlotte Citron

Charlotte Compote

Charlotte Counter

Charlotte Dolce

Charlotte Dragée

Charlotte Dosmarche

Charlotte Gala

Charlotte Galette

Charlotte Joconde

Charlotte Moscato

Charlotte Myukuru

Charlotte Nusstorte

Charlotte Opera

Charlotte Poire

Charlotte Raisin

Charlotte Snack

Charlotte Yuen

Chess

Chesskipa

Chichilisia

Chicken

Chocolat

Choi

Chuchun

Clione

Cocoa

Cocox

Colscon

Columbus

Cornelia

Cosmo

Cotton

Custard

Dacquoise

Daddy Dee

Dagama

Daidalos

Daigin

Daikon

Damask

Diesel

Diez Barrels

Dogya

Domo-kun

Nnke-kun

Donovan

Donquixote Homing

Doran

Draw

Drip

Drug Peclo

Ducky Bree

Eddy

Edward Weevil

Eiri

Egana

Eggplant Soldier

Elizabello II

Erik

Farafra

Farul

Faust

Fen Bock

Fillonce

Fishbonen

Flapper

Forliewbs

Fullbody

Gaburu

Gambia

Ganryu

Gatz

Galaxy

Galley

Gancho

Gatherine

Genzo

George Black

Roche Tomson

George Mach

Gerth

Giberson

Gimlet

Gina

Ginrummy

Gion

Glove

Gode

Going Merry

Goldberg

Goldfish Princess

Goo

Gotti

Grabar

Gram

Great Michael

Gyaro

Gyoru

Hack (Human)

Hakowan

Ham Burger

Hangan

Hanger

Happa Yamao

Happygun

Harisenbon

Haritsu Kendiyo

Heat

Heppoko

Hera

Herb

Hewitt

Hideo Usaguchi

High-Fat

Hihimaru

Hildon

Hiramera

Ho

Hocha

Hocker

Michael

Hoichael

Hotori

Kotori

Hublot

Humphrey

Hustle

Medaka Mermaid Quintuplets (Ichika, Nika, Sanka, Yonka, and Yonko Two)

Ichiro Kmaguchi

Ideaman

Ideo

Ikkaku

Im

Inhel

Inuppe

Ippon-Matsu

Isa

Ishigo Shitemanna

Isuka

Jarl

Jean Ango

Jeet

Jew Wall

Jigoro

Jigra

Jobo

John

Jorge

Jorl

Joy Boy

Judy

Julius

Junan

Kabu

Kagiko

Kairen

Kairiken

Kakukaku

Kaneshiro

Kanezenny

Kanten

Kappa

Karusu

Kasa

Kasagoba

Kebi

Kechatch

Kelly Funk

Kibagaeru

Kibin

Kiev

Kiku

Kikyo

Kimel

King Baum

Kinga

Shodai Ktetsu

Nidai Kitetsu

Sandai Kitetsu

Kitton

Komachiyo

Komane

Konbu

Koda

Kop

Koshiro

Kotatsu

Koze

Packy

Kozuki Momonosuke

Kozuki Oden

Kukai

Kumadori Yamanbako

Kuromarimo

Kurotsuru

Kurozomi Orochi

Kyuji

Kyukyu

Lady Tree

Lami

Laskey

Lassoo

Laurin

Leonero

Lily

Lindbergh

Lines

Lionbuta

Lip Doughty

Loki

Louis Arnote

Lulis

Macro (Automaton)

Maidy

Makko

Mani

Manjaro

Margarita

Maria Napole

Marie

Marilyn

Marin

Mario

Marnier

Marumieta

Mashikaku

Masked Deuce

Master of the Waters

Mauji

Mayushika

McKinley

Meadows

Mero

Mihar

Mikio Itoo

Milky

Minatomo

Minoruba

Miss Catherina

Paula

Mr. 13

Miss Friday

Miss Merry Christmas

Miss Monday

Miss Mother's Day

Miss Saturday

Miss Thursday

Miss Tuesday

Kinderella

Mizuira

Mizuta Madaisuki

Mizuta Mawaritosuki

Donquixote Mjosgard

Mobile

MocDonald

Mocha

Mochi

Monji

Monstar

Moodie

Morley

Mornin

Mororon

Motzel

Mounblutain

Mountain Ricky

Moyle

Mozambia

Mr. 4

Mr. 6

Mr. 7

Mr. 9

Mr. 10

Mr. 11

Mr. 12

Mr. Beans

Mr. Love

Mr. Mellow

Mr. Shimizu

Mukkashimi Tower

Mummy

Mummy Mee

Muret

Nako

Napoleon

Natto

Titi

Negikuma Maria

Nerine

Nezumi

Nigeratta

Ninjin

Ninth

Nitro

Noble Croc

Charlotte Noisette

Nora Gitsune

Nosgarl

Nubon

Nugire Yainu

O-Tama

Octopus Mash

Okame

Okome

Oran

Ossamondo

Outlook III

Pagaya

Pandawoman

Pandora

Pansy

Pantri

Papaneel

Pascia

Patty

Pavlik

Pearl

Pekkori

Pellini

Peppoko

Piiman

Pinkbeard

Pinnacle

Pisaro

Poppoko

Poppy

Poro

Potsun

Pound

Prometheus

Pudding Pudding

Puppu

PX-1

PX-4

PX-5

PX-7

Queen Mama Chanter

Rabiyan

Raccoon

Raideen

Rampo

Randolph

Reforte

Reuder

Rint

Ripper

Risky Brothers

Risky Brothers (zombies)

Rivers

Road

Robson

Roche

Yeti Cool Brothers (Rock, Scotch)

Roddy

Roji

Rokkaku

Rolling Logan

Roshio

Ross

Run

Rush

Russian

Saber

Saint-Marc

Sam

Samurai Batts

Sancrin

Sapi

Sarfunkel

Saru

Schollzo

Scissors

Scopper Gaban

Scotch

Seagull

Seamars

Seira

Shanba

Shandia Chief

Sharinguru

Sheepshead

Shine

Shion

Shioyaki

Shoujou

Shu

Sicilian

Sicily

Sind

Skull

Sleepy

Smiley

Smooge

Sonieh

Sora

Soro

Spartan

Spector

Sphinx

Stainless

Stalker

Stansen

Stefan

Stevie

Stool

Suleiman

Tablet

Tacos

Take

Tama

Tamachibi

Tamagon

Tamanegi

Tank Lepanto

Tansui

Tararan

Terry

Terry Gilteo

Teru

Thalassa Lucas

Tibany

Tokikake

Tomato Gang

Tristan

Turco

Uholisia

Ukkari

Ultraking

Umit

Unforgivable Mask

Uni

Unigaro

Usagihebi

Uzu

Victoria Cindry

Vitan

Vito

Wallace

Wallem

Wany

Warashi

Wellington

Wicca

Willie Gallon

Wire

Yamenahare

Yarisugi

Yokozuna

Yomo

Yoshimoto

Yotsubane

Yu

Yuki

Yukichi Skull

Yurikah

Zadie

Zepo

Zeus

Zodia

Zucca

Zuccotto

Zunesha

    I used the names that they are given on the wiki, as opposed to their Official English names, if they even have one. I did this so that you can simply search their names on the One Piece Wiki and learn about them, if any interest you. However, a couple of them are so obscure that they don’t even have their own pages, in which case you will only be able to fine them here.

  Next we will honor all non-canon characters. These characters appeared in filler, movies, specials, OVAs, one-shots, video games, or any other material that was officially made but not part of the manga. These characters are gaurunteed to never get a birthday, and that is a curse they bear. Now some non-canon characters, such as Gion and Tokikake, debut in non-canon and then later appear in canon, making them canon characters, and thus giving them a chance to have a birthday. However, this is such a rare case, that I wouldn’t count on it, especially for non-canon characters that debuted years ago.

A A A

Abi

Accino

Ain

Akibi

Akihiro

Akisu

Alan

Alba

All-Hunt Grount

Alpacacino

Amanda

Anaguma

Ann

Ann

Ant De Bonham

Aobire

Apis

Arbell

Atoli

Aunt

Aveyron

Ayako

Baccarat

Bad One Gracie

Bald Parrot

Balloon

Balong

Banban

Bandsman

Banzai

Barbarossa

Basil

Bayan

Bear King

Biera

Bigalo

Bildy

Bill

Billy (Dandit)

Billy (Cook)

Billy (Pirate)

Binz

Bismarck

Bit

Blyue

Bobby

Bobrad

Bokuden

Bolam

Bolt

Bonbon

Bonbori

Bonney (Non-cannon)

Boo Jack

Boo Kong

Borodo

Boss

Bravo

Brief

Brindo

Butler

Buzz

Byojack

Brynndi World

Bürst

Camael

Campacino

Camus

Carina

Carmen

Carol Masterson

Cello

Chameleone

Chavez

Chip

Chiqicheetah

Coe

Corto

Count Times

Curve

D.R.

Daddy Masterson

Danny

Deacon

Denny

Desire

Dias

Dice

Dick

Din

Dip

DJ Gappa

Dojaku

Donny

Dontacos

Doom Guardian

Doran (Filler)

Double Down

Drake (Filler)

Drayke

Eccoli

Ed

El Drago

Elizabeth

Emeraude

Eric

Eric Dow

Evil Guardian

Evil Master Beast

Fabre

Flip

Flora

Gaburi

Gad

Gairam

Galley

Gally

Ganzack

Ganzo

Gari

Garride

Gasparde

Gild Tesoro

Girarin

Glove

Golass

Gonzo

Governor

Gowns Brothers

Graydle

Guyle

Hakuto

Halsey

Hamu

Hardy

Harry (Fishman)

Harry (Human)

Heaby

Helsing

Henna Oyag

Henzo

Herring

Hey

Hitaki

Hitokui

Hockera

Holy

Homey

Honey Queen

Honki

Hotdog

Houmy

Ian

Isoka

Izaya

Jessica

Jimmy Myers

Jiro

Joke

Jonathon

Jose

Jotto

Jube

Kaabo

Kamonegi

Kansho

Karasuke

Kau Ra Kau

Kent Beef Jr.

Kerodeek

Kerojii

Keroko

Keroshot

Khorosho

Kukuhime

Killer Giant

Kimmel

Kinoconda

Kiruko

Koba K

Kobato

Kodama

Komei

Kotetsu

Lacos

Lago

Lake

Lambor Bukini

Largo

Lark

LeMay

Leo (Filler)

Lepre

Lil

Lily Carnation

Lily Enstomach

Lina

Livia

Lola

Long Long

Luigia

Lytton

Maccus

Mad Treasure

Maji

Mao

Marc

Marin

Marley Brothers

Mashikaku

Maya

Medaka

Makao

Mendo

Meroie

Meryl

Milia

Minchey

Misutta

Mitsuboshi

Mobambi

Mobston

Moore

Moray Eel Brothers

Morkin

Muchigoro

Musatobi

Musshuru

Myskina Acier

Myskina Olga

Naguri

Naomi Drunk

Narcie

Needless

Neiro

Nelson Royale

Nightin

Niphtal

Noir

Noko

Nukky

Nuru

Odama

Olive

Omatsuri

Otsu

Panz Fry

Parrot DJ

Pato

Patrick Redfield

Pesca

Peseta

Pin Joker

Plesiosaur

Pochi

Pogo

Popo

Pokke

Popola

Pork

Prodi

Psycho P

Puggy

Pukau

Purin

Puzzle

Race

Raise Max

Randolph (Non-Canon)

Raoul

Rapanui Pasqua

Rasa

Ratchet

Reika

Rice Rice

Rikka

Rittonto

Roba

Rocky Hattari

Rokai

Rongo

Rosario

Rubis

Ryu

Ryudo

Ryuji

Saga

Saki

Saichow

Saphir

Sayo

Schneider

Scorpion

Sealed

Sebastian

Shepherd

Shichiseiken

Shimoi Zappa

Sho

Shuraiya Bascùd

Shutai

Shuzo

Silk

Silver-Silver

Simon

Skid

Skullface

Skunk One

Smash

Soran

Spiel

Stansen (Filler)

Stella

Straight

Suita

Sutton

Tajio

Tambu

Tanaka

Tatsu

Tay

Tempo

Tobio

Tohenbok

Toma

Toratsugu

Troff

Tsubaki

Usanksai

Vigaro

Vivi-yan

Wadatsumi (Game)

Wetton

Whitejack

Wild Joe

Wilder

Willy (Fishman)

Woonan

Yadoya

Yami

Yoko

Yoko (Water 7)

Yukimura

Yuta

Yuya

Z

Zaba

Zabai

Zap

Zau Ra Zau

Zenny

Zomino

    Lastly, I want to honor all characters, canon and non-canon, with no names. The majority of these characters are just extras that only appeared in one panel or shot. But there’s a couple that are actually memorable, such as that one guy that was in Spandine’s group, or the masked CP-0 members. Some of these people can actually get names eventually. For example, Don Quixote Mjosgard was a nameless character for the longest time, until in the Reverie he became important and was given a name. I cannot list these nameless characters, as they have no names, but I do still want to honor them, and hope that one day they will be given names and have birthdays.