#bone sticking out of it. I knew it was bone not food bits bc a) very white and b) distinctive texture

[badolmen]

Ah. Bone bits.

[powerosewaterpuff]

there aren’t enough jason is the oldest brother au’s and now i’m going to make them. this is a alternation of my au where jason is the oldest but in this specific au dick was robin first instead of jason, and he meets 14 year old jason todd in crime alley and they become brothers. jason literally looks at this little 9 about to be 10 year old and is like why the actual fuck are you not home rn? you need to go home and sleep it’s past ur bedtime. have u been doing it homework? literally jason is like if the fucking batman doesn’t take care of this kid then i will, and just adopts this kid as his little brother. (dw this is a good parent bruce au bc canon bruce is a piece of shit and i hate him) so this is a snippet of that bc i’m so fucking bored. also batcest shippers are disgusting and i need u to not interact or follow me bc ew. fucking ew. THEY ARE SIBLINGS. SIBLINGS. anyways here’s a little snippet!

Jason was counting the amount of change he had socked away from countless pickpockets when he heard little footsteps tiptoe over the lid of the overfilled dumpster next to him. He glanced up, and couldn’t help but give a crooked smile as the tiny mesh of obtusely bright colours gave him an enthusiastic wave.

“Jay!” Robin exclaimed, hopping off of the lid and into Jason’s arms, no matter the dirt and grime that coated Jason like a second layer of skin. He never knew how Robin could stand hugging him, it was like hugging a mangy dog made up of knobbly bones and excitable fleas. Yet, without fail, Robin would curl into his arms and Jason felt like he had the only family he could ever dream of wrapped around his arms.

Jason gave Robin’s hair a little ruffle as he slipped his cigarette out of his mouth, pressing it against the jagged bricks behind him to put it out. He never really liked smoking in front of Robin, the kid was far too polite to vocalize his dislike but he could tell from the way his nose scrunched that it was an issue.

“Guess what happened today?” Robin hummed, biting down on his lower lip in excitement with his barely contained energy seeking through. Jason propped a hand onto his knee and raised a brow questioningly, with that Robin went off on his energetic little spiel.

“I got an A+ on the test! The one you helped me study for last week! I spent all night looking at those little cue cards, the ones from Sylvester’s Stationary? I had all your notes written on them and I just kept droning, on, and on, and on to get it all to stick in my head! Mr. Jansen thinks I cheated! Can you believe that? He thinks there’s no way I could get an A+, that he even reported me to the office! I had to do a redo test right in front of them and I still got an A+! Ha! Take that Mr. Jansen!”

Jason has concluded a long time ago that story time with Robin was the best part of his days. He could be battered and bruised but still smile when the little twerp went on about his day at school. It made him ache a bit, just a smidge, because he wanted to be there with him. He wanted to be at school with his little brother, cackling at teachers and pulling all-nighters for tests. It was a silly dream, an unachievable image that kept him warm when the mounds of snow threatened to freeze his veins. He would just imagine this silly little dream where he had bedsheets, food, warmth and a little brother in tow that lightened up all his minutes.

Robin kept chatting, getting more animated by the minute as Jason interjected a few snide comments here and there to tease him. It was hilarious to watch Robin wag his little finger and tell Jason to knock it off. Robin was just so tiny. Jason couldn’t fathom how Batman could have the conscience to send this child to face the dirty underbelly of Gotham every night. Jason knew if he saw the Bat, he’d punch him. He would lose, obviously, and break a few fingers but he wanted to do it nonetheless. He wanted to shake that stupid fucking Bat and tell him he needed to keep that child safe. That little spritz of fucking sunshine needed to be focusing on school, not roundhouse kicking mafia grunts in Crime Alley so that they would stop hurting some street kid who was going to run off with their hubcaps.

“Jay, where are you going to sleep tonight?” Robin murmured softly as he began to unfurl himself from the ground after a while.

“Where I always do,” Jason muttered, because he knew this game that Robin played. He would try so desperately to get Jason to get off the street, because he swore that he knew someone who would take him in. Jason would scoff at Robins innocence. Once again, who let this kid wander around unsupervised?

Robin would ask this question, in hopes that Jason would concede and follow him, but he never did. It was an idiotic matter of dull pride and an untrustworthy nature that has been sown within the fabrics of his skin. No one was safe. Fucking no one, especially not adults that presumably were alright with a child running around playing superhero. Jason knew better than that, even if Robin didn’t. It was fine, he didn’t want Robin to end up like him anyways. A cynical husk of a person, a ragged little gnat desperate to survive on the scarps he could scour. It was fucking embarrassing, frankly. It was embarrassing that the kid he now had to admit, he viewed as a little brother, was offering to take care of him.

“Is everything alright with you? Everything okay at home?” Jason questioned lowly. He has to ask, it would gnaw at him all night if he didn’t. It was a constant. Robin would ask where he was staying and Jason would ask if where Robin was staying was safe. It was a ritual of theirs. A constant.

Robin gave a little nod and smiled that bright grin, “I’m fine, Jay!”

He ran into Jason for one more hug, and Jason curled his arms around him tightly, pressing his cheek onto Robin’s fluffed hair.

“ Please stay safe, Jason. Promise me,” Robin huffed, peering up at him with those oddly expressive white lenses. Jason didn’t say anything, he would never make promises he couldn’t give to him but rather gave a rueful smile. He’s trying, at the very least. He could never promise, though. It would just be a lie.

They stood like that for a minute, two brothers enclosed in a hug. Then, a little beeper went off and the little bird was swinging from building to building, a hole of an unattended promise weighing on his mind

this is kinda awful but i needed to vomit this idea out, i might cultivate it into a story on ao3 who knows but yeah that’s all for me i’ve gotten invested back into the batfam so get ready for some more stuff! i’ve got so much shit in my drafts oh my god

[ruthlesslistener]

3,675 words of Eliksni headcanons relating to culture, biology, and language because I cannot control myself when playing games with Cool Aliens in them

(Obligatory disclaimer: I am a Destiny noob, so some of these might be inaccurate with canon as they're just stuff I've jotted down after playing. Also, while I tried to stick with believable biology, I also chose to stretch it a bit for narrative fun, because differing biological processes is what makes alien specbio so fun)

*Much of these, including the section on reproduction, can be found under the cut

GENERAL:

-Okay first and foremost, older or more high-ranking Eliksni on Riis had horns and carapace juts similar to their helmet designs because their bald heads just look too damn weird to me. These horns and thick, keeled carapace plates were a mark of strength and maturity, and were due to specific environmental cues/cycles and stressors to trigger them being grown in. Without Riis, its seasons, and many of its native foods, one of those environmental cues for horn growth is gone. No Eliksni know exactly what light cycle, nutrient, or season triggered it in adults (currently I’m thinking that it could have been a mineral used in growing extra carapace that their body now automatically rations bc its rare in the Sol system, like how calcium is required for many reptiles and invertebrates to properly grow in their bones/shells), so now they mimic the general splay of what those horns used to look like as a means of showing off their rank beyond the simple size differences Ether causes

-Draping thin chains of ornaments in complex patterns on or around said horns was similar to human hair braiding, btw! Eliksni just getting their first horn juts would have their parents tie coming-of-age ribbons or bead strings around them once they hardened post-molt, and after that ceremony only very close friends, relatives, or mates would help with the hornaments. It ties into a sort of communal grooming instinct that Eliksni use to strengthen social bonds, but because many hornaments had symbolic meanings tied to colour, style, and fabric used for the jewelry, only those who really knew the Eliksni involved were allowed to adorn them. Even Kells (who often had elaborate hornaments to show off their virtues as a leader) would only allow their partners or nestmates to dress them

-Again, the lack of ability to grow these horns in anew with each moult means that any and all cultural significance to them has been lost. Many shipborn Eliksni don’t even know they can grow horns at all, they just know that only those with the rank of captain or above are able to wear those fancy eye-catching helmets, with those of higher ranks being allowed to customize them for individuality as well as authority

-I'm pretty decisive on Eliksni hair tbh. I don't really know whether or not they canonically have it, but if they do then it's 100% not hair like ours and is gonna be a lot thicker and feathery in texture to get that tough-bristle look to it. Feathers on birds are basically just modified scales, so hair on Eliksni would be modified carapace, making it far more rigid and more like a cockatoo crest on them than our luscious locks. I’m kinda leaning on it being a hatchling/subadult trait to give them a softer, more vulnerable appearance that persists on Dregs as a means of showing their low rank in the hierarchy

-Spiracles are extremely ineffective for delivering oxygen to animals on earth that are anything larger than a generic insect, so on Eliksni they're probably used less for actual breathing purposes and more for gas filtering. They could visit many planets with simple rebreathers (or none at all) because their spiracles would put in double work for filtering out what they need for breathing and what would be toxic in large quantities. So while they’re not doing the full work that their actual lungs would be doing to provide appropriate gas exchange to their entire body, covering them up would still suffocate an Eliksni over time

-Same with the exoskeleton/endoskeleton thing; exoskeletons can drastically limit how big an organism can grow bc of the pull of gravity, so they probably developed internal skeletons to help fight against that, especially when they’re moulting (because then there’s nothing to keep them from being squashed into the Eliksni version of a blobfish while they’re still soft and vulnerable). Their internal skeletons are probably a lot less substantial or rigidly held together than ours, though, because it’s more of a backup stability mechanism than ours is.

-This implies that Eliksni might be able to flatten themselves to avoid danger like cockroaches. Do whatever you want with this.

-The gap in the front of their muzzle is like a snake's- its used for scenting the air. They don't flick their tongue out to gather scent molecules like a snake does, but a deep inhale through a closed mouth forces a stream of air over their version of a Jacobson's organ. Opening their mouth to taste the air like a cat might still work, but not with the same level of precision

-Speaking of which, the fact that they have no cheeks and exposed teeth indicates that they likely have very little to no saliva, like birds. This tracks with the whole mandible deal, since they’d just use their mouthparts and tongue to tear pieces off of things and then swallow them whole, but big F to anyone who wanted oral from an Eliksni bc unless you have some good safe mouthlube for them you’re shit outta luck

-But on the plus side, Eliksni can probably easily open a can or other things with their mandibles and tongue so who's really winning here

-They have lil lobster-like tails that curve between their legs and tuck over their genital plate/lower abdomen bc I said so. There’s no indication that they’d have this in canon, but I think its kinda criminal that none of the alien races (discounting the Vex) have tails, especially since it would be useful for the Eliksni to have one as a means of quick counterbalance when they go from bipedalism to running on all sixes. These tails also have decorative fans on them that flare out when untucked, and are one of the only means of distinguishing a male Eliksni from a female other than scenting them, though uncurling their tail and flaring their tail fans is basically the Eliksni version of flashing someone and is considered to be extremely rude

-While their sense of smell isn’t really as important to them as their codes of honour, it still plays a big role in identification and figuring out who’s related to who, who’s mated to who, etc. Their scent glands are located on the lower part of their cheeks (under their eyes), on the wrists/inner forearms of their upper arms, and on the interior curve of their tails (which tend to rub together while mating). These scent glands secrete a thin oil that helps keep their carapace clean and healthy, and many physical expressions of affection between family, close friends, and mates involve rubbing cheeks together like cats or pressing the inside of their upper forearms against the other’s back while hugging

-Communal grooming is pretty common and casual, especially since reaching between back plates is pretty much impossible, even with four arms. Picking up a nice thick bristle brush with some shell oil and scrubbing down the back of your homie is a common sight to see if a commune is retiring to bed, and helping to remove stuck molt/shed has joined the communal grooming activities after the fall of Riis, when many Eliksni started to have trouble with moulting due to conditions not being perfect (though the entirety of the moult is generally done in private)

-^ this dude hanging on the side of a ship + Taniks running up a glass wall indicate that they either have some killer gecko footpads on their hands OR some neat specialized claws that allows them to grip any surface, regardless of how smooth it is. Considering the fact that a human being would need sticky footpads that cover 40% of their body to successfully hold their mass with Van der Waals forces and that squirrel claws are limited in their effectiveness by how slippery a surface is, I'm going to guess that they're either using something stronger than Van der Waals forces to stick there, or that they're using a combination of the two to help them cling to things they really shouldn't be able to do with only one or the other

-Did you know crabs don't have hearts? They have an open circulatory system! Which sucks mega ass for larger organisms even if it requires far less energy to cycle the blood around than a closed circulatory system does, so Eliksni very likely have at least one heart. I'm personally leaning towards two that function the same as a normal heart, with one pumping deoxygenated blood back to the gas exchange organs and the other pumping the oxygenated blood (or hemolymph) from those organs back around the body

-Speech works in 2 different ways, with higher tones being produced with a vocal organ at the base of the throat/upper chest and lower tones/subvocals being produced by stridulations of specialized chest plates. These vocal organs work kinda like a 2-handed instrument might, where they can either copy each other's movements to form dual-toned speech or function separately. The high tones are generally used for forming clear words or sentences while the low tones offer inflection and mood indicators (such as growls, clicks, chirrs, etc). Humans speaking Eliksni tend to come off as either quite monotone or oddly stilted in their speech because of their lack of ability to produce these subvocal sounds. Additionally, mandible snapping and teeth clicking are used to accent speech, though none will ever be as pronounced as Variks. Dude's either got a vocal tic/stim or is doing the Eliksni equivalent of rolling all his r's like a pretentuous asshat

-(If you are noticing how many facets of their biology works in sets of 2, that's intentional btw. Most animals don't have 2 mediocre adaptations working together to make one sturdy advantage, but these are aliens and their society seems to be focused on rounded curves and pairs of things, so I thought it would be fun to match it)

-They are not a brutal or barbarous race by nature, but their propensity for ritualized combat is hardwired into them biologically. Much in the way two rattlesnakes will forgo lethal combat to instead focus on a trial of strength, ancient Eliksni would fight others for territory, status, or mating rites before Riis's golden age. These fights were always focused only on proving one's strength or cunning in battle, which lead to the very strict honour system that they follow. It faded into obscurity during their Golden Age, when fighting for resources was no longer a necessity, and returned in a twisted, cruel, unnatural form post-Whirlwind, when these fights for honour turned less from a means of proving one's strength or wit and more of a method of showing dominance

-If anything, Kells docking dregs to keep them below them is a perversion of their nature. The Eliksni are social beings, which means that higher-rankers generally are supposed to protect the weaker members of their society in exchange for greater food supplies, resting spots, and mating rights. Ritualized combat would be a great test of strength and mental fortitude to earn the respect and power they've won, but a Kell that uses their power to harm those they are supposed to uplift are no Kell at all.

REPRODUCTION

-Eliksni don’t have haploid gametes like us. They engage in double fertilization like angiosperms (where two sperm merge with one egg, but one type of sperm has a nucleus that triggers the genesis of a fatty protective layer around the egg while the other doesn't, with the main difference between plants and Eliksni being that the embryo is diploid; plant sex is complicated and I’m not gonna get into that here). This basically means that instead of having half n'half genes from your parents, aka a diploid fertilized egg, an Eliksni hatchling is gonna be either 1/3 of one and 2/3 of the other, or 1/3 of one, 1/3 of one mate, and 1/3 of a second, etc, or triploid.

-This allows for detrimental recessive genes to be more rare in smaller populations, which means that suffering from genetic disorders are relatively more infrequent than they are with us because an Eliksni hatchling (and any other sexually reproducing organism from Riis) has a ⅓ chance to get a sucky gene vs a ½ chance like a sexually reproducing Earth organism

-They are technically hermaphrodites by our definition in that they both have the same sets of genitals, but it gets a little complicated with who is currently producing which gamete. Females produce sperm without a nucleus as well as the egg cell, while males produce only sperm with a nucleus as well as develop the eggs that the female implants in them. Both have two phalluses and a slit that leads to a vaginal cavity + brood pouch, but the appearance and function of these organs varies based on the hormones currently at play. Females will have two distinct phalluses that slide out the more they're aroused (one for ejecting sperm and one for eggs), but on males, they will only fully unsheath if no attempts at penetrative sex are made. This allows for 3 breeding Eliksni to either be made up of 2 males and 1 female or 2 females and 1 male no problem, though in the case or 2 males, the larger will always be chosen to carry the eggs.

-Typical sex with the intent to breed involves 2-3 Eliksni and is spread out over a couple of days. Usually, the male will mount the female to trigger ovulation/get a jump start on fertilization, as well as fully induce her cycle if needed. Flash forward a few days, and the female will penetrate the male's brood pouch to lay her eggs + seal everything off with a sticky sperm plug (well, its not solid, more glue-y) laced with the correct hormones to get him to tighten back up. The third Eliksni just jizzes in everyone else if they don't egg or be egged

-If this sounds complicated, its not. Tdlr is that everyone has the same set, which ones are working depends on which sex hormones are predominant in the bloodstream, and sex itself boils down to 'get a female riled up so that she lays eggs in the male, and then either have a third party jizz in him to plug him up or she'll do it herself'

-As you can guess, monogamy is not really a thing with the Eliksni. Having a deep romantic bond with one or two others is the most common, however

-The predominance of which set of sex organs is active depends on hormonal cycles that are influenced by stress, pheromones, and health. Normally Eliksni would cycle through sex changes every 200-300 years on Riis, but now do so every 100 or so years in space, with some being pushed to 50. Shorter lives with more stress and childdeath = 'oh shit gotta fuck more and make sure said fucking results in babies bc we are UNDER ATTACK'

-This happens because temperature drastically affects the amount of females or males hatched, so needing to change sex after x amount of breeding cycles helps stave off male/female imbalances, especially since they're so long-lived. Hormone therapy can be used to keep this cycle from triggering or to trigger it early if needed

-Eliksni gender is thus not really tied to current sex and more tied to preffered sex, as dimorphism is almost nonexistant. Those who are female when they hit their adult molt have a tendency to be smaller or thinner-bodied than males, but it's not a definitive thing and will resolve itself eventually-the only thing that really matters is what pheromones you're giving off. Assigning subadults male or female pronouns is used solely as a means of keeping track of healthy growing patterns (as males and females grow at different rates + bulk up differently), while choosing which pronouns to use/if you use pronouns at all in adulthood is purely for self-expression

-Long-term partners will synch their sex-switch cycles after a time to almost always be the opposite for breeding purposes, but this requires actually synching and spending heats to trigger it. Ace Eliksni often are never on cycle, newly paired Eliksni will not synch their cycles, and sex differences have very little impact on sexual preferences.

-As for who gets to breed: the answer would be barons, captains, and kells only. Vandals and dregs can technically have clutches if they try hard enough, but lower ether rations = lower fertility, and their genes don't take their stunted size into consideration. Captains and up are the only ones who can become gravid without worrying too much about eggbinding, as well as the only ones who can be guaranteed to earn help if it occurs.

-Likewise, the amount of mates that one Eliksni might be allowed to take increases with status. Dregs and Vandals are allowed to have partners but having eggs is discouraged, Captains can breed with their partners as they wish without fear of eggbinding, Barons can and will sleep around with anyone willing that doesn't catch the Kell's eye, and Kells generally can have anyone they want because their size and strength net them a lot of physical attraction points that the others can't contest with. Very few take advantage of this- and those who do are heavily frowned upon- but even those who don't give a shit about casual mates will have a lot of Eliksni admiring them from afar because being big and strong and in power trips a lot of that primal hindbrain attraction that screams 'oh this one has good genes my hatchlings will be strong'

-On Riis, this was less dramatic; usually only older Eliksni would have more mates, as fertility increases with age (like lobsters) and with the presumed knowledge, strength, and experience said Eliksni had. Now it's more a matter of 'I am Kell, I can fight for whomever I wish to fuck, and you cannot contest me because I am the biggest and the strongest and the best to breed with here'. The harems are not a status symbol, they're something that happens as a consequence of it

-SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO NOTE HERE THOUGH is that status is not socially passed down from broodparent to hatchling. Sure, a Kell might have the easiest time having a clutch and the best quarters to brood them in, but once the babies are hatched, everyone in the community pitches in to raise them and are considered equally responsible for their wellbeing. Being the child of a Kell might make you stand out a bit or give you higher expectations than your peers, but all hatchlings will be expected to claw their way up the ranks on their own, regardless of who their parents are

-Similarly, adoption is seen as basically the same as actually having a clutch, with distinctions only being drawn for keeping track of lineages and the like. Brood-parent and soul-parent are two distinctions often referenced casually in Eliksni culture, kinda with the same importance one might distinguish two shades of red as crimson or maroon.

-Now onto clutch sizes: these range from 1-6 eggs, though they can get up to 10 or more in the case of barons and kells because of their ether rations and size. Females lay many small eggs into a male's brood pouch, but very few will properly implant and allowed to develop before the sperm plug dissolves after breeding. Eggs are softball-sized when laid and have thick leathery shells that would slowly harden over time. They never become fully calcified like bird eggs, but they're not as delicate as snake eggs, either.

-Eggcloth is spun from a sturdy layer of silklike material (I'm thinking natural polymers) that resides just under the leather shell. Peeling it free from the eggshells is a very delicate process, but once gathered, pulled carefully apart, and dried, it can be spun into a true silken cloth that young hatchlings are swaddled in. The fabric is soft, so it doesn't irritate soft carapace, and little hatchling claws cannot snag in it very easily. On old Riis, eggcloth for each hatchling was usually carefully kept throughout the young Eliksni's life until they hit their adult moult, after which their parents would adorn them with decorative ribbons formed from their old eggcloth to signify them coming of age and transforming from a child to an adult

-The practice has since faded into obscurity post-Whirlwind. Hatchlings simply don't live long enough and cloth is too badly needed to warrant such frivolity

-Nests are usually made from large, shallow metal basins that are then thoroughly padded with thin cushions and soft cloth by any of the Eliksni involved. In contrast to their usual communal sleeping habits, these nests are typically set up in small, closed spaces that can be easily guarded by mates or close friends to the gravid individual(s). Once laid, the eggs will be carefully covered in layers of fabric to keep them at a nice, stable temperature, with at least one trusted Eliksni always by the nestside keeping tabs on how warm they are and carefully turning the eggs to make sure they harden evenly. Depending on the personalities of the parents, a broodspace can either have a few nests closely lumped together in a nice cozy padded room (common with polycules or close friends), or be a singular nest in a vent with only one broodparent allowed in at a time

-Any Eliksni parenting a clutch will jealously guard these eggs until they hatch, and the babies undergo their first molt. Pre-molt babies are translucent, fragile, and easily crushed by their older peers, so parents will usually only start to gradually add them to the communal baby pile after they shed the paper-thin carapace they were born with and got a couple days to grow a bit. They'll be carefully watched, but a cousin squishing them on accident is still a major concern

[smarchit]

Look Around, Look Around pt 3

Summary: You escaped an abusive marriage, pregnant with your husband’s child. He sends a bounty hunter after you to bring you back. Everything changes. Din Djarin/pregnant!reader, no use of y/n

Word count: 2.4k

Warnings: Pregnancy/related topics, implied/referenced rape, mentions of abuse

Notes: yaaaaaaall better get ready bc the story really starts to kick in during this chapter - stay tuned!

So you'd been travelling with the Mandalorian for a little over a month now. A month of helping him as best you could around the Razor Crest, which usually meant watching the baby while he was out looking for work.

He'd kept it to touring mostly well-populated planets for now, and ones usually far less dangerous than he was used to working on. He didn't want to put you in any unnecessary danger than what came with one in his field of expertise, so it was mostly touristy things on larger planets.

You had fun at first, but those weren't the type of places his work usually stuck around on. So you had to keep moving, keep hopping from skughole to skughole in pursuit of work.

Presently, you were seated on a crate outside of the Crest while he negotiated a docking fee from the Twi'lek woman who owned the hangar and adjacent inn. You rubbed a soothing hand over your stomach while the unborn baby inside you did somersaults. It's okay, little one. I'm right here.

"Need a room for your wife?" the woman asked, slightly louder so you could hear her. She raised a brow at the Mandalorian, who slightly turned to face you.

"She's not my wife - and no," he corrected sharply. "We don't. Just need the hangar spot for a day or so."

You sighed and looked down at the bounty hunter's little one that was currently trying to chase down a cricket nearly as large as he was. He'd tire himself out, which would be good for you later on.

It had been getting a little more difficult for you to sleep at night, not due to anxiety, but due to the creeping pressure on your back and hips.

The Mandalorian, stoic and chivalrous as he was, had offered you his bed to sleep in. He'd found some extra bedding in a shop on Tatooine and bought it all for you so you weren't suffering anymore than you had to. You were nesting. The child constantly was snuggling in the bed with you, and would make his way into your room while the Mandalorian slept, much to his panic. He'd wake in the morning and frantically search for him at first, but now he knew right where to find you.

"Ready?" the Mandalorian asked, making his way back over to you. He had a bag slung over his shoulder and the keys to a speeder in his hand.

Dare you say it, it looked very dad-like, and you actually found a smile creeping across your face at his casual pose.

"Where's this one hiding?" you asked as he shut up the door to the Crest. You scooped up the child, something that was getting increasingly difficult with each day, and stood with him in your arms.

"About a four hour ride that way," Mando said, gesturing with his whole hand pointing east.

You groaned internally. "Four hours!"

"You can stay here if you want," he said with a shrug.

You glanced around the old hangar and scowled. It was completely walled in, and you could see none of the planet from here.

"I'm coming," you said firmly.

He nodded once. "Alright then. Let's go."

***

It took almost five hours to get to your destination, due in part to the rough terrain and also to the fact that your baby thought it would be a wonderful idea to park itself on your bladder.

Coupled with the fact that you were carrying a squirming infant on top of that didn't make for an enjoyable trip.

You finally made it to a small inn in the middle of nowhere long after dark. The soft yellow light from the windows lit up the otherwise overwhelming darkness around you and the front door opened quickly as you neared the inn.

You pressed your back against his chest in fear. This was out in the middle of no where - you hadn't seen another settlement in hours. They shouldn't know anyone was coming...

"They're waiting here for us," Mando explained. "There's nothing to worry about."

You didn't relax even as the bike slowed to a gentle stop in front of the house. Mando jumped off first and held his arms out to you to jump into. The step down was higher than you realized and you stumbled off of it, landing against him heavily. He caught you with ease and set you back on your feet.

The child cooed in your arms when he realized how close his adopted father was. You gently shushed him and pulled his little swaddle over his head.

"Mando!" a booming voice called from the doorway of the in. You jumped a mile and yelled in fear. On instinct, you jumped behind the Mandalorian and turned your body to protect yourself and the two children from any harm.

"Dern," he said, holding up his hand in a greeting to the hulking figure in the doorframe of the inn. "Thank you for agreeing to house us. It's... Greatly appreciated."

"I'm always happy to help you after what you did for me all those years ago," the one called Dern said. He finally stepped into the light. A Devaronian man smiled down at you and you tried your best to not cower from him. He towered over the Mandalorian, who was already tall compared to you, and you had to crane your neck to see him.

"Don't mention it," Mando grumbled. "Really."

The Devaronian roared with laughter and slapped his hand on Mando's backplate hard enough to send him stumbling forward. He then approached you and you squeaked, holding the child tight enough to make him give a sharp cry.

"What's this?" he cooed, giving you a quick once over. "You have two little ones now, Mando? The green one Xi'an's or something?"

"Neither are mine," he said, sounding midly disgusted. You hoped that wasn't directed towards you. "I'm raising the one. The girl is a friend."

Friend. The word, you found, stung more than it should have. You were only that, you supposed. Patched him up a few times. He held your hair back when you got motion sickness on more than one occasion. You were the one he called for when he had a nightmare. He was the one you ran to when you first felt your baby kick - you had laughed when he called your baby aruett'ika when it stopped moving as soon as you managed to convince him to put his hands on your belly. Friend.

"Well, I'm always happy to give you shelter when you need it," he said, nodding in the Mandalorian's direction. "And as for her, I'm just happy to give shelter to anyone who can put up with you and not want to dump you in the Sarlacc pit."

You swore you heard Mando's eyes roll back into his head as he retrieved the bag from the rack on the speeder.

Dern held the door open for you and bowed when you entered. He waved one finger at the baby in your arms, who blew a tiny raspberry and made a mean face.

"Please, make yourselves comfortable," he said, making a sweeping gesture at his living space.

You looked around, noting all the potentially soft places for you to lay and you sighed wistfully before making your way to a pile of cushions. The child wiggled out of your arms and plopped itself on a black cushion and babbled up at Mando, who gave a heavy sigh.

"I made supper," Dern offered. "Wasn't sure what guests you brought with you, so I made a bit of everything."

"Something with bones for the little one," Mando said.

"Anything that isn't fish," you said quietly, leaning back in the cushions. "It's been turning my stomach."

"Aren't you glad you didn't stay on Sorgan," Mando teased as Dern turned to the pot on the stove.

"Could have been making a fortune as a basket weaver," you hummed, pressing a hand to your belly. The baby had been restless all day and still hadn't settled and you shifted uncomfortably as they chose that moment to kick particularly hard.

"You okay?" Mando asked. He sounded worried and he leaned forward in his chair to get closer to you.

"Fine, fine," you murmured, "She's just jumpy."

"You think you're having a girl?" he asked, resting his elbows on his thighs.  

"Omera thought I was having a girl, so it just sort of stuck," you replied with a shrug.

"Might be nice," he mused. He sounded distant, like he was thinking about something. 

You wanted to ask him why, but Dern returned with two bowls of hot soup and a cup of broth for the child.

Mando gave an awkward cough and stood, taking the large bowl in both hands.

"Ah, forgive me, my friend," Dern said. "I have forgotten. A guest room is set up for you - please, eat there."

He nodded and thanked his host before he disappeared down the narrow hallway.

In the few weeks you'd been travelling, you realized you never saw him eat, never saw him take food into a room to eat. He must eat long after you and the baby go to bed. The thought broke your heart. How often did he wait for you to decide you were sleepy and go to bed so he could eat?

"So," Dern chuckled as he watched the baby slurp his broth, "You've been traveling with him long?"

You shook your head. "A month," you murmured. "He... saved me."

Dern nodded. You hoped he didn't ask anything else. It wasn't like it was hard for you to talk or make friends, like you imagined it potentially could be for Mando, but you really didn't want to consider the possibilities of all the stuff that could have happened to you had another hunter found you.

Would you be dead? Alive? You shuddered at your internal question - would you still have your baby?

"See?" Dern said, "Man's got a good head on his shoulders."

You nodded absently in agreement. You'd been told that by Cara before, and by a man named Greef Karga only a week or so prior when he realized you were sticking around for a while. The Mandalorian made an impact. He killed with such an acute precision and his skills as a bounty hunter were unmatched. Yet he was gentle in ways that you don't think anyone would believe if you told them.

You, the child, and the Devaronian ate in silence. You hefted yourself off the cushion and walked to the sink basin. Your host got up to follow you into the kitchen.

You were aware of his proximity to you as you took a sponge to wash your dish. He watched you with dark eyes and you felt your pulse rise in fear.

"If you're just a friend, who's child is it you carry?" he asked, leaning against the counter.

"My ex husband," you said. Then you added dryly, "He's dead."

It was a bold faced lie and you hoped he wouldn't notice and leave you alone. No such luck.

"Perhaps then you need some... Assistance with raising your bundle."

Dern trailed a broad hand up your arm and you shied away from his touch. Goosebumps broke out on your skin, but the act of touching at all made your flesh crawl.

"I'll manage," you said firmly. You heard the quiver in your voice and you kicked yourself.

"Are you sure?" Dern didn't even wait for you to reply. He reached a hand over and roughly grabbed your belly. He dug his nails into your arm and spun you so he had you pinned against the counter. One of the drawer pulls bit into your back. His hands gripped you tight enough to bruise your skin.

"She's sure," came a gruff voice from behind you.

Mando was standing there, bowl in hand, helmet firmly back in place. You could tell from his body language that he was upset.

Dern took a step back, his hands raised in surrender.

"Come here," Mando ordered, nodding at you. You walked over to stand by him, your legs shaking bad enough that he wrapped a hand around your waist to steady you.

"She's going to bed," Mando said, keeping his eyes steady on Dern. "Got it? If I find out you did this again, I'll reactivate your tracking beacon. I know quite a few people looking for you."

"Whatever," he grunted, turning to the dishes.

Mando took you down the hall to the guest room, making sure to not frighten you.

Once inside the bedroom, you let out a loud sob and a shaky breath. You leaned heavily against the door and pressed your hand to your mouth to calm yourself. 

"Breathe," he whispered, his strong hands on your shoulders the only thing keeping you upright.

"Just breathe. I've got you, okay?"

You nodded quickly and tried to even out your breathing so you wouldn't hyperventilate.

"Can I hug you?" Mando murmured. "Is that okay?"

You thought for a minute and then nodded. No one had ever asked if they could touch you before...

He gently wrapped his arms around you and held you. His gloves were warm as they spread across your back. You expected the chest of his beskar to be cold, but it felt warm against your belly.

"You're safe," he promised, the modulator of his helmet made it come out in a whisper. "No one is going to touch you unless you let them first. Just breathe. I'm here."

You took a few more gulping breaths and relaxed into his arms, one hand gripping the fabric between his arm guards. You didn't think a metal man would give great hugs, but you also didn't think there was a way out of your marriage. You've been known to be wrong before.

There was a gentle flutter in your belly and you laughed, wiping your cheeks. "It's okay, little one..."

Mando pulled away from the hug slightly and looked down at where your hand rested on your stomach. He made a slight move to pull away but you grabbed his wrist and gently placed his hand beside yours.

"I still can't feel it," he said softly but with as much seriousness as he could muster, "Aruett'ika."

You laughed louder than you had in months.

TAGLIST (ask to be tagged!): @miscellaneous-mando @lestrange2703 @someplace-darker @the-last-twin-of-krypton @divineangelix @c1996 @mell-bell

[jennyreborn]

Things I noticed when losing 15.4324lbs/7kg while obese

For the first 5 years I’ve never been that aware of overall body fat. I knew I had this big fat MOUND sticking out of my front but yeah I didn’t really notice shit

around 6 years ago I noticed back fat also and started wearing stuff that hid it. while I kept going through a restrit/gain cycle

two years ago I got really really really serious and lost over 20lbs but took it for granted because all I saw was stomach and back fat and didn’t pay attention to measurements. all I knew was that I could fit in a certain outfit again

followed by two years of big fat binge becausae someone was dying, whne I finally realized...omg

thigh fat. calf fat. arm fat. WRIST FAT!!! finger fat. neck fat. fat ass face....wtf

this time around I am hyperaware of EVERY FUCKING THING and I started again HARD 34 days ago at 112.something KG, highest weight EVER.

the month wasn’t great, friends kept shoving food at me and making me eat it with them and I haven’t been able to purge since I was a kid. but I sitll managed to lose 7kg and let’s call it an even 15 pounds

here’s what I’ve noticed, although the difference isn’t huge bc I am huge:

- My underwear, which was tight, started fitting after about 8lbs and was very comfortable after 13lbs

- My jaw is no longer 100% invisible

- I can see neck bones when I twist

- I can see collar bones when I put my shoulders slightly forward

- if I flex i can see muscle in my arms again (which I intend to keep and have been building so that’s kinda probably throwing off the scales a bit, I don’t want a lot just some that’s only visible if flexed)

- my boobs (quite small cup size) SHRUNK!! the hell (I don’t want this but it’s worth it to be thin I can fix them with surgery when I’m skinny) not much but enough for me to squint and think...nooo...did they??/ are they different???

- my waist is 1 inch smaller although my stomach isn’t??

- my calves look huge but no longer SO huge that they make me want to puke

- my ring fits me again

- I sleep better

- I don’t get out of breath when walking or walking uphill

that’s it. it’s not much but it’s a huge difference when you’ve been suffocating in blubber

[pocketramblr]

Poll Results

Alright, that’s it, i’m tired of trying to sort the answers so yall just get the big list of all the free response answers to that quiz about ofa. be aware some are less safe for work than others.

memorable ones: OfA Snickerdoodle, I’d Give It To A Cat, So You Know Vore Right?, I’m in Love With Nana, Slicey Blood Oath, and Homoerotic Sword Fight

(My answer above is how I think it did happen, not how I want it to happen.) I personally think something along the lines of a Bruce Banner Jennifer Walker blood transfusion where the OFA holder doesn’t realize they’ve passed it on until later.

a tender kiss. perhaps loving. perhaps they're dying, and i already knew that they loved me, either platonically or otherwise, and we always knew that i'd be next. perhaps they tried so hard to make sure it never happened, and perhaps that tender kiss as an apology as much as it is a gift. sure sucks to be gay i guess 

Peacefully? By doing the do and making it a wonderful moment of lovemaking and passing on the future.. If we're in the middle of battle you bet your freaking butt I want them to kiss me dramatically, tell me they love me, and then yeet me away as they turn back to the fight. Ow but relationship goals. 

If we're not romantic because I am obsessed with the Duo Holders ship currently, blood works fine. Ingest it or have them pressing a bloody palm into a wound of mine *shrugs* Gotta pass it along somehow

Personally, I'd rather drink blood instead of hair. It feels less gross. But I'd pass it on as hair just to fuck with my successor

Hair or blood eating, but no touchy-touchy or whatever thx.

Probably a vial of blood so it’s easy and over quick

kiss 👉👈

i would like it to be blood from an already opened wound just cause it would probably less weird, ..........but knowing my luck and because irl my sister has attempted to feed me her baby teeth by shoving it to my lips and saying "eat", thats actually how i would get ofa. ( >:/ i have almost eaten at least two teeth this way because i thought she was being nice and giving me candy )

Consider: doing one of those blood oath things where you swear to be BFFs for eternity except now you also get a quirk out of it. But lbr kissing is way more romantic and you’ve made First/Second my new OTP, so I’ll stick with that for them. <3 But also, maybe to make the kiss option more romantic First thought something more along the lines of wishing he could give ~everything he has/all of himself~ to Second which counted as including his quirk, rather than specifically about giving him the power to defeat his brother?

This is going to sound gross but all ways of transferring DNA is. Just work up a sweat and have the other party drink it. It would probably be the best tasting option which is kinda a weird thing to think about. Nvm sweat doesn't contain DNA looked it up but I don't want to delete all of this so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ maybe a scraping of skin cells

Honestly the hair is probably the way I'd want to go. That or blood. Like just swallowing it.

Look, i know realistically it was probably some desparate on-the-brink-of-death "please defeat my brother" thing and oo, magic he gets the quirk. But consider. First's last fight with afo. Second is holding his bleeding body, crying. First gently cups Second's cheek and pulls him into a bloody kiss before dying. Second pulls himself together just long enough to flip off afo, barely resisting the urge to absolutely slaughter him, knowing he would lose. He finds his successor and trains him to the best of his ability, determined to not lose another person he cared for

I mean like dead skin cells probably dont work right? Except hair works so thats not true. So like you totally could lick someone to get OFA. Like could you imagine the whole holding your hand over someones mouth to shut them up but they lick you and they somehow wind up with your quirk, like crazy. What must have been the trial and error with this stuff cause they must have kept passing it inbetween each other to figure out its dna right. How long did it take for them to realize. Like you’re eating breakfast and theres a hair in your food like ew and why am i stronger now. Overall, comedic timing for getting a quirk would be hilarious.

My apprentice lays broken and bloody beneath me as I cradle them in my arms, crying on to an open wound on their face praying the power will be enough to save them

little bit of skin like a hang nail just like put it in a sandwich and dont thing about it

Put it in my coffee.

If I received it from Nana then I would love to have received it via eating her out~ though for passing it on to others I think I would just either spit into their mouths or shove a bleeding finger down their throat until they swallow and then run and get myself killed by AfO while taunting him with "I DON'T HAVE YOUR BROTHER'S QUIRK ANYMORE! SUCK MY NON-EXISTENT DICK YOU LOSER!"

knock me out and just inject the blood. if i have to actively think abt ingesting someone elses dna im gonna yeet myself into the ocean. to pass it on i'll just spit in a cup (or in their mouth) bc im not gonna make someone eat my hair nor is anyone getting my blood

who in their right mind would trust me with a power like ofa 💀afo just looks at me funny the quirk is his. im not a mc for a reason

Sexy battle where I’m the villain, and randomly the hero thinks “I wish I could save you”. Boom I punch them with bloody knuckles and the quirk passes to me. Now the hero has to teach me how to be good again. Also we fall in love.

You know, I always assumed I would head canon it as something romantic until canon proved me wrong But these options are so varied - I had to choose the most Dramatic (tm) one As for my actual answer: a gentle kiss with full consent from both parties

I will bite a holder as a sign of affection. There's probably some dead skin cells in the arm I can swallow by accident. They are used to this and sometimes we switch the quirk around for funsies.

You know, I spent like 10 minutes trying to think of something original here, but knowing my shit luck some bastard would spit in my drink or something and cast upon me the Curse of Bone Breaking and/or.... y’know..... AFO...........

okay this is gonna sound weird but. consider this i marry a very lovely women. we are in much love. we get attacked by evil people because she is a good hero but plot twist. i am secretly her nemisis. the attackers are my minions. i wanted her to protect me because i am very smol but. my comrades were too mean. she is nearly dead. "take this" she says. she kisses me and i am one for all. fuck, i say internally, but i dont tell her. she dies in my arms. i run and become vigilante and take down my once comrades. all is not well. i die unsatisfied. i eventually pass it onto a cat in an alleyway because they are the only one who is with me when i get hit with a back alley sniper

Blood or just like. skin. You could use nail clippers to take a bit off from a really fleshy area, like just under the nail. It's that easy

Spit in my food like an underpaid fast food worker.

i have long hair so that would not be ideal, but blood seems kinda...unsanitary, but i guess it would be better if i was 100% positive i wouldn't pass on some sort of disease. so if that could be ascertained then like a few drops of blood in a glass of water or something and then down the hatch, bam ofa passed on. i know other folks are probably typing some nsfw stuff but just. no. keep it in your pants y'all.

Blood transfusion First, pick a hospital Second, steal all their blood Third, have the previous user donate their blood to that hospital Fourth, get into a major accident and need a blood transfusion near the hospital you robbed Fifth, hope either OfA will only pass onto you bc your the intended recipient, or that no one else needs a blood transfusion Sixth, get the transfusion Seventh, steal all of the previous users blood back Eigth, return all the other stolen blood Ninth, get new identities, this crime leaves DNA everywhere Tenth, die of a blood clot due to incompatible blood types (optional)

okay realistically bleeding into a cut or a drop of blood into water and drinking it would be easiest but like... what if somehow dna could be baked into like a muffin or cookie or something... like i know when cooking with wines and stuff the alcohol cooks away and evaporates out but is that process the same for like blood? like if you baked your blood into a cookie would traces of your dna still be there? basically i want an ofa cookie (snickerdoodle preferably)

no i like my bones

drink a drop of blood. it'd go down easier than hair

no

Something dramatic and desperate in the heat of battle like blood or something

First of all, I think First passed OfA as he was dying entirely on accident, because Second was badly (though not critically) injured and they'd been sort of dancing around each other's feelings and doubting their own worth, so First, knowing he was dying and that his brother was a petty bitch who would probably kill Second anyway because he knows that First cared about him, kisses Second with blood on his lips and his last thoughts before dying are about how he wants Second to have the strength to survive if his brother comes after him.

If I was given the option of getting OfA, I wouldn't take it. I'm a coward and being given something like that is a death sentence.

If it was forced, probably ingesting the previous users blood, because blood is a lot easier to choke down than hair.

If I already had it and had to pass it on, I would want it to be something suitably dramatic like collapsing on the doorstep of a trusted loved one and explaining with my dying breath who killed me and why and then raising my blood covered hand to their face like I was going to caress their cheek only for them to taste blood. They cry and try to get me take it back and when I finally die they swear vengeance over my slowly cooling corpse.

Pass it on in a non-life threatening scenario where I decide I actually don’t like the weird bone breaking power a random person gave me as they were dying and wish I could pass it to someone else and through a weird set of circumstances end up accidentally cooking some of my own hair into brownies I was making because I shed like a dog and passing it to my new neighbor I came to welcome to the neighborhood.

Either drinking a glass of milk with their saliva (no icky hair taste), or an epic sharing of blood while clasping hands like knights in a noble brotherhood!

not by eating all mights long ass hair thats for sure, why did he give midoriya one of the longest ones he had, he has shorter hair right there on the back of his head. not to mention the fact of like how i would prefer to recieve it or give it away which would be just, fucking sharing a pop or something and swaping it through the backwash??? less nasty than hair and not as weird as the other options for spit which is like straight up spitting in a drink or the other persons mouth outside of kissing. if someone told me i had to eat their hair i would straight up say no thanks, cheers for the fitness glow up tho homie

I want nana 2 kiss me, on.,, the m,,,.."#*(@÷out.h pretty lady.,

Q-tip to the inside of the cheek

Those blood pacts where you slice your hands open and do a little handshake thing. Not very creative, but idk it just appeals to me

Via consumption of blood, babey

I would want it to be with a maybe maybe not homoerotic sword fight in a Wendy's parking lot, preferably while we are both being impaled on each other's swords. The sweet pain of almost dying is a very intense moment to share isn't it?

Sweet love

Hair

If it's someone cute, a kiss. Otherwise I'd probably just swallow a hair with some water.

i'd just like. spit in their water bottle. if thats not enough dna i guess licking a paper cut it is. hair is bad idwa bc it doesn't digest and can get wrapped up in things. and like. im too aroace for kissing and such

Last option, cause first is sexy as hell

okay you know what vore is, right. and you know how blood and organ transfusions work? well...

Not at all, like?? I enjoy being alive and not having my body destroyed thank you. Literally everyone with OfA died young-ish or has suffered debilitating injuries bc of it. Like Midoriya's bones are powder, and we don't even need to go into All Might's medical history. Like thanks but no thanks no freaky dna ingestion 4 me

Had a open cut from a can lid and ofa holder had an open cut. While lamenting about fins a successor.

Blood

Assuming we can bypass the rules of canon, it would be funny as fuck is OFA was passed on by intentional physical contact. So yes, a smooch for First and Second (and Second and Third) but also. Bitchslap of destiny. Nana giving her protege one last hug. All Might ruffles Mido’s hair like a dad to pass it on. I’m sure you get it

Bleeding over an open wound

lil bit of spit in a milkshake.

I hold their hand Platonically but it's summer and we're both sweaty and they're a little loopy and having weird thoughts due to dehydration and heat lmao, literally hanging around anyone for any extended period of time guarantees you accidentally ingest SOME of their dna. Dead skin cells are floating through the air ~constantly~ and if you have a friend I promise you've inhaled their dead skin cells before. Have fun with that knowledge!!

ok so like deffo a kiss, but in canon people get weird biological urges for using their quirks, like bby Toga drinking bird blood. First has had a LOT of "spit in their drink" intrusive thoughts over the years. immediately post first-kiss he is mystified that his intrusive thoughts have disappeared entirely, but then BAM it seems that second has the stockpile now, and with it, a preoccupation with vampire lore

drink from the same water bottle?

“EAT THIS!”

Pass it on by making them lick my arm because that would make them rly uncomfortable, passed to me by spiting in my 20oz Red Bull and then chugging it

[acerine]

Can I request a naruto x reader? Where she’s apart of team 7 and her and naruto was dating but they fight and break up. Which causes her to get depressed and develop an eating disorder and everyone gets worried when she shows up to train bc she looks sickly and her bones stick out badly. Just angst with happy ending? (You don’t have to write it if you’re uncomfortable with this topic. I suffer from anorexia and it’s hard to find stories on this topic. I do understand if you don’t wanna write it)

Hold Me

Pairing: Naruto x Reader

Warnings: Angst, eating disorder, like one cuss word

A/N: I don't have a problem with writing about disorders but I just get worried that i’m not portraying them properly, please reach out to someone if you are suffering. aaaand that ending wasn't as happy as I wanted but I think it works. 

I don't have much knowledge on anorexia so im so sorry if I didn't write about it properly. 

masterlist

uzumaki naruto

You groaned and plopped yourself on a bench near the entrance to the village, exhausted from the search for your boyfriend. He had dashed off immediately after training was finished without a word to you; again. You were getting worried due to how often this was happening, especially worried because he had been speaking to you less -- the only time you really saw him was during Team 7 training. You had asked Sasuke and Kakashi if they knew where he was going but they seemed to be just as clueless as you.

Looking up and seeing the sun set, you decided it was time to head home. He’d tell you whatever was troubling him eventually; you could only hope at least. “Nope -- don’t doubt him, he's never given you a reason to.” you softly mumbled to yourself, but the creeping heaviness in your heart told you otherwise.

As you walked through the village you felt your stomach grumble, the exhaustion from training and searching finally catching up to you. You decided to stop by Ichiraku’s -- it was on the way to your house and their ramen is rejuvenating, especially after gruesome training with Sasuke. shudder. He certainly gives training his all, the developing bruises were proof of that.

“Naruto that’s your 3rd bowl!” a voice giggled, bringing you back to reality.

Did they just say Naruto? Of course your boyfriend would be here! Why didn't you think of checking Ichiraku’s first? You quietly chuckled to yourself as you walked towards the voices, excited to finally see your boyfriend and share some ramen with him. But you certainly weren't expecting to see your boyfriend with his arm around Sakura nor did you expect to see how close their faces were

...

“Naruto...what are you doing?” your voice cracked slightly. Naruto and Sakura both halted their movements. Slowly he turned his head to gaze at you, “W-What are you doing here Y/n?”

Sakura looked guilty and avoided your gaze; immediately letting you know that she was aware of your relationship and what she was doing. “No seriously, what are you doing here with her?” you forced out, the strain in your voice becoming less evident, your anger overpowering your sadness.

“I was just catching up with Sakura, I haven't seen her since she started working with the other medical ninja!” He yelled out in an attempt to defend himself, his eyes darting away from you to his bowl. “Y/n calm down...it’s not what it looks like.” Sakura softly spoke. You scoffed, “Then why cant either of you look at me?”

No response.

After a minute of silence you had had enough, “Okay well don't stop on my behalf. Have fun with Sakura, Naruto.” Turning around, you began to walk away before feeling a grip on your upper arm, “Wait what's that supposed to mean?”

“Im pretty sure you know what it means.” Ripping your arm away from his grasp you sluggishly began your walk home, your body in pain from training and from your aching heart.

...

You closed the door behind you, locking it, and diving face-first onto your couch. The events from before finally registering in your head. Soft sobs began to fill the empty room and the couch pillows became stained with tears. What did she have that you didn't? You knew he used to have a crush on her when he was younger but you thought he outgrew it. Hell, you thought she had a crush on Sasuke, since when has she been interested in Naruto? Your mind was filled with questions.

Your stomach grumbled once again, this time louder than before. You didn't have the energy to get up and make yourself anything -- you weren't even sure if you even had food at home. Moving into a sitting position you glanced at the kitchen before getting up and heading to your room, you could eat in the morning after you slept off today’s events.

...

You woke up and slowly got ready for training; not mentally prepared to face Naruto after your break up. You felt a pang in your chest at the thought of his name -- making you aware of how difficult training was going to be. You sighed and began to make your way to the training grounds, taking a look at the kitchen. The last time you ate was yesterday morning but you felt fine, although the painful growl said otherwise. Shaking your head, you moved towards the door and left.

...

Naruto hadn’t showed up to training today. Kakashi said he had gone on a year training mission with Jiraiya. How convenient. They could both tell something was off between you two. “How about we cancel practice today? I think we deserve a day off.” Sasuke rolled his eyes at Kakashi, “And what are we supposed to do while you read a crappy book?”

“How about you two be actual teenagers for once?” Kakashi grumbled before heading off, leaving you and Sasuke alone with nothing to do. “Well since the moron and Kakashi aren’t here do you want to train with me?” Sasuke was pretty hardcore when it came to training — seriously, this kid did not know how to hold back. Training was life or death with him but you didn’t know what else you could possibly do on your free time other than wallow in your self pity, so you agreed.

Yeah, let’s just say you were better off moping in your room.

...

Your body felt so weak from training, the only fuel being emitted into your body came from a banana. You were constantly burning away calories and weren’t eating enough to refill them but you just couldn’t bring yourself to eat a proper meal. After finding Naruto and Sakura 12 months ago, you hadn’t felt hungry. Sure your body was weak and your stomach growled occasionally but you weren’t hungry. You hated how everyone said otherwise.

“Y/N are you sure you’re not hungry? You’re starting to look like a pile of bones...”

“Seriously, i think you should eat something.”

“Your movements are becoming sluggish, fix it.”

It was all you heard now. You felt fine. You looked fine. Why was everyone freaking out? Was it because you lost a bit of weight?!

Annoyed, you began to make your way to the meet Kakashi and Sasuke. Today would be the day Naruto returned and you just wanted to get it over with. Once you arrived all you were met with the usual concerned gazes from Kakashi, an indifferent Sasuke, but now you were met with a new pair of eyes. He looked good. Really good. 

Fuck, you couldn’t do this. “You know what...i’m not feeling too hot right now so i’m going to head on home.” Your words tumbling out as you spun around, ready to return the way you came. But your legs crumbled from underneath you, too weak to fully support you anymore. You could hear Kakashi and Sasuke’s cries of concern but you couldn’t focus on them, you could only focus on the one person you didn’t want to. “Woah, what’s wrong?!” Came his frantic voice — his arms capturing your frame before you could fully hit the ground.

Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me.

You knew he could feel your bones, your oversized shirt no longer able to hide your secret. His eyes hardened before picking you up and carrying you to your house. You felt so tired and it felt like this was a dream. Everything was so hazy and you couldn’t fully comprehend what was going on. Did you actually collapse at the training field or did you hallucinate that? You couldn’t tell anymore.

But his hold on you felt real. His scent smelled real. What was he doing carrying you, you two broke up because he decided to get cozy with another girl.

Before you knew it you were being laid on your bed, “I’m going to go get some food, just...wait for me okay?” His voice cracked. Why did his voice crack? “Yeah uh okay...” Why were you agreeing to what he was saying? You watched as he walked away from your room, “What is going on?” you softly mumbled to yourself, attempting to regain your sense of reality. Staring up at the ceiling, you didn’t realize how much you changed in the year that you two broke up. Yeah okay maybe you lost some weight, and maybe you only left your room when it was time for training or missions, but was it really that odd? 

You saw Naruto coming back into your room and sat on the bed -- it dipping under his sudden weight. He had made you some soup, surprisingly not ramen, and held the spoon up to your lips, “Eat it.” You couldn't bring yourself to argue with him so you complied. The only sounds surrounding you two were the clanging of the spoon against the bowl and your small gulps. Your stomach felt warm, you had forgotten the feeling of a full stomach. 

A choked sob captured your attention. You looked up away from the bowl held in front of you and saw the tears streaming down your ex-boyfriend’s face. “Im sorry for doing this to you. I wouldn't have left if I knew this would happen.” His voice shakily cried out. You didn't know what to do, was your condition really that bad? He set the bowl onto your nightstand and cradled your cheek, his other hand wiping at his tears. “I’m so sorry.” He continuously cried out. 

The hand on your cheek felt warm, it was nice. Both of his hands now wiped at your cheeks, you hadn't realized you were crying but he was wiping your tears away for you. 

Maybe you were broken, maybe it was his fault, who could say? You pulled him into the bed with you and he held you in his arms -- he made you feel like you would be okay, he made you feel safe again. Sure you two had a long way to go before you could trust him but for now you were happy just being with him. Like it was before that day last year. 

“Please just hold me.”

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas: Puppydog Tails

Also on AO3!

TL;DR: 

Izuku manifests his quirk, and watches his old life burn in front of him in a matter of months. Scared the villains that killed his mother will come after him, he uses his shape-shifting quirk to hide in plain sight as Katsuki's dog. They keep each other safe and sane throughout the years, a duo people become uses to seeing as they jog down the sidewalk each morning.

Izuku doesn't just use his quirk to help Katuski. His heroic spirit can't be crushed so easily. In his wanderings, he meets and helps countless people, from heroes to Katsuki's future classmates.

Let's just say Katsuki's first day of school is a wild one.

basically, izuku is a shapeshifter, but can only change into different mammals. he needs to know their internal organ structure perfectly or he's in trouble too.

he manifests his quirk and quickly goes about learning some common but practical animals like a small cat, greyhound, mouse, bat and rabbit

he and bakugo are friends

his good times dont last long though, his mother is killed for a connection to a villain she didnt know she had (probably dad for one) and the villain group is after izuku as well

they don't know his quirk, he honestly hadn't gotten it registered yet

inko tells izuku to run, hide and be safe, right before shes practically cremated where she stands by a powerful fire quirk. izuku runs, shifts into a small dog and goes the only place he can think: the park he and bakugo play in

now, mitsuki is frantic bc inko's house is on fire and they can't find inko or izuku

katsuki doesn't know whats happening though, and she sends him off to the park in case they start pulling bodies out of the building. katsuki is happy to go, asks if he can bring izuku. mitsuki says izukuis busy

katsuki goes to the park and hears a soft whining sound, he finds izuku, hidden behind a tree, smelling like ash

izuku shifts back to a human and explains that villains hurt his mama and they want to hurt him too

katsuki, crying, tells him to change back into a dog. he'll keep him safe from the villains. izuku agrees, only if he can look after katsuki in turn.

they don't tell mitsuki. izuku is worried she'll get hurt, and part of his is also worried she knew about the villains and said nothing.

Katsuki and dog!izuku run back to the house, only finding charred bones where his mother had been

they both sob

mitsuki finds her son, sobbing as he clutches a tiny dog to his chest, seeing a sight so horrific she herself wants to throw up. when he asks if they can keep the puppy later that night, it's not even a question in her mind. of course they can. Anything to keep that broken expression off her son’s face.

katsuki changes after that. his best friend and friends mother apparently dead, he gets angry, but he's scared to go out where there are lots of people. he's scared of the villains that killed izuku's mum, scared they'll hurt them like they hurt inko

he goes to therapy. they quickly work out the dog is helping him cope, so izuku is trained as a therapy dog. he does astoundingly well, unsurprisingly.

katsuki ends up bullied for his service dog, but the amount they help each other is enough for him to be willing to put up and shut up

the only time he ever explodes is when someone hurts his dog, 'deku' and it's not like izuku sits idly by while katsuki gets hurt either

anyway, izuku likes to wander, whenever katsuki doesn't have school or is feeling particularly good, he'll go on an adventure, normally as a different animal

every animal he shifts into is green, so katsuki sometimes sees him when he's out and smiles

izuku's heroic spirit is undying, even as an animal, which kinda leads to him sticking his nose where it doesn't belong and helping out kids he thinks need the help.

he hears shouting and crying from the foster home down the road, sees a child muzzled

he goes hero watching as a kitten, sees the small child standing too stoic on the front lines as endeavour fights. he follows him home, whistling songs to the kid when he cries, perching on his shoulder when he sees him

ochako remembers the fluffy puppy with its massive paws showing up at her door when the power went out during winter, keeping her warm with its curly green-black fur

aizawa knows of the kitten that ages too slowly and keeps bringing troubled children to him

iida remembers the rabbit that used to race him on the tracks. without his quirk its was honestly a challenge

kirishima knows about a dark colour fawn that would always come over to him when he was upset and let him bury his face in its fur and cry

mina remembers the little green bat that nested in her hair and clumsily copied her as she danced, its colour making her feel better about her own

Tsuyu would often see a little green and black tanuki when she’d take her siblings out. It always kept them safe and out of danger and never failed to make her smile on a bad day.

he earns shinsou's trust as a too-small kitten, along with aizawa's (just out of school, learning to be an underground hero) , until he can drag aizawa to the house during the shouting. shinsou gets out, aizawa gains a son

shouto's best memories from his childhood are of the little cat that always showed up when he felt his worst, who purred like an engine in his arms and was never afraid of him

he also remembers seeing it the day he dyes his hair. its licks his nose

Even heroes know about the little green dog that watches from the sidelines. They’ve seen it drag civilians from danger, look for people in buried rubble and comfort crying children. It doesn’t often approach them, but it tends to do a little happy dance if they pet it, wagging its tail 1000 miles an hour if a hero so much as looks at it.

They call it little green, seeing him basically becomes a good luck charm. Even All Might feels a little better when he sees the little dog catching from the crowd, knowing it’ll keep some too-brave civilians safe from attacks and falling rubble.

When Katsuki applies for UA, his class doesn’t cheer him on. They whisper about the kid so angry, unstable and scared he brings a puppy to class. Izuku leans against Katsuki’s leg in support, unable to do anything for his friend. The teacher pays it no mind.

He’s told not to apply. He’s not normal or sane enough to be any help to anyone, they say. Katsuki flips them off and puts UA in all three slots on his form.

He takes Izuku with him on the day of the entrance exam. He tells himself it’s so Izuku can see the school at least once, if he doesn’t get in. Deep down he knows it’s because he’s scared and doesn’t want to be alone. Izuku doesn’t mind either way, he’s just excited to cheer on his best friend and get to look at some heroes.

He does leave Izuku with the teachers. He can take care of himself, but the idea of dragging him into a situation where he might accidentally burn his only friend? It makes him feel sick. Izuku understands. He’d do anything for Katsuki, but he was still scared to enter the exam location. He never did get over his fear of fire.

Izuku ends up in the monitor room. The teachers are trying not to coo over the too smart, too nice puppy. It’s All Might that recognises him.

“Is that, is that little green? The dog who always shows up at hero fights?”

Nemuri is ecstatic

“It totally is! I love that little guy! Hey little cutie, did you know you were famous? All the heroes around here love you!”

Aizawa, Nezu and Present Mic all separately notice that the dog honestly… he honestly looks flustered. Excited, yes, but almost sheepish. Aizawa draws some internal connections to the green and overly brave ‘stray’ kitten he’s seen his whole career. Nezu looks at the fur colour and thinks “quirked, like me. But was he always an animal?”. Present Mic sees the humanity in those eyes.

All three of them say nothing, filling the information away for later.

Katsuki ends up in the arena with Iida and Uraraka. He recognises both of them from Izuku’s whisper descriptions in the rare moments he let himself slip into human form.

Tall, broad, clearly the younger brother of Ingenium; that’s the stiff boy Izuku raced as a rabbit, trying to get him to loosen up and connect with those around him.

Round-faced, bright cheeks, fierce eyes and a body a little too thin from too many hungry nights? That’s the girl Izuku looked for when it got too cold, just to make sure he heating was working. She’d moved away from home, apparently. Izuku had found her new house and gave it a once over – if he figured it was safe, Katsuki would believe him. Izuku was the most paranoid person he’d ever met.

He almost went to say something. But Iida’s stern glare curdled his nerves. He shot back a snarl and focused on getting ready.

Back in the viewing room, Nemuri and Yagi are not so subtly fighting over Izuku. They are both trying to call him over, offer little bits of food, give him a good pat. It’s a little funny for Aizawa to watch as the poor pup ties himself in knots trying to please the both of them. He notes vaguely that he doesn’t take the food bribes from either of them.

Yagi is winning slightly, on virtue of being All Might, but Nemuri is not above begging a dog. It works shockingly well, with Izuku not wanting to upset a hero. She sends smug look’s All Might’s way as she triumphantly pats Izuku.

Mic yells start, the student's flood into the arena. Katsuki makes short work of the robots, racking up a score of 50 in almost record time. The teachers watch as ‘Deku’ clearly tracks his charge across the screen, whining softly when he pushes himself a little too far or gets a little too close to the robots.

Then the zero pointer is released and all hell breaks loose.

Katsuki sees Uraraka, trapped. He can’t leave her; not one of Izuku’s people. He’d never forgive himself for letting someone important to Izuku get hurt ever again.

He doesn’t realise Izuku couldn’t stand seeing him hurt, either.

He blasts the rubble apart, shielding Uraraka with his body, preventing her from being hailed with slivers of rubble. Uraraka sees not another student, but a hero, saving her when she thought she might die, selflessly giving up time to save someone he didn’t know. She vows to make it up to him, somehow.

It’s not enough, the robot looms too close. Bracing himself as best he can, Katsuki lets out the largest explosion he can muster, uncaring of the damage it may do to his wrists. If he gets crushed, his wrists hardly matter, do they?

The robot shakes, then topples backwards, overbalanced by the blast. Katsuki drops to his knees, both wrists dislocated. He’s hissing swears under his breath.

Uraraka sees a lump of rock flying to him as he sits there, prone from the attack that saved her life. She leaps towards it, leaving it weightless before it can hit him. The action leaves her hand red raw from the force of the rock.

Time is called. They both collapse.

Izuku is off of the door the second the explosion sounds. It’s so big it rattles the monitors in their room. Nemuri tries to stop him, reaching for his collar, but his collar doesn’t fit a mouse. He shifts into the smaller form, scampering out the door upon where he shifts into a greyhound.

He takes off full tilt towards his friend's exam arena. He's panicked and scared – the flash of fire and the pained look in Katsuki’s eyes have totally fried his nerves.

The doors aren’t open yet. He doesn’t care, shifting into a bat until he can clear them, diving down as fast as he can. He shifts again into a greyhound, racing though the robots – broken and sparking.

He sees Katsuki, jaw grit tightly as he fights back tears of pain, and Izuku lets out a pathetic whine, running full tilt towards his best friend, before lingering nervously in front of him, unwilling to touch him lest he hurt him.

“Oh get over here, Deku.” There are tears in Katsuki’s eyes still, but he’s smiling softly. Izuku shifts once more, into the softest dog he can, pressing against his friend as his tail wags like mad.

Present Mic calls time. If he was a solid 30 seconds late as he tried to process the whirlwind of chaos that little,,, dog? Left, well no one was going to notice. Other than Nezu, obviously, but the maybe-rat seemed just a confused as him.

Uraraka turns to her hero, only to see the little dog that would warm her on cold nights. She turns to him, wide-eyed. Izuku sticks his head over Katsuki’s shoulder, making happy yips at her.

Iida stumbles over, confused as to how a dog got in, confuses as to how he clearly saw it change between two distinct dog breeds in its quest to reach the prickly boy he’d seen at the entrance, who had just seriously injured himself to save a stranger.

The dog looks at him, then perks up. It gives a quick snuggle into its owner's hair before trotting over to him. It wags its tail. Iida looks on, confused.

Before his eyes, he watches the dog shift into what is unmistakably the rabbit he remembers from his earlier childhood, the one that would race him around tracks until it’s little legs couldn’t race anymore and would bound over to him as happily was a rabbit could.

He stares.

Katsuki watches this and laughs.

“I see you’ve both met Deku.”

[jjuzoir]

A dangerous fellow hc with Zion where mc is hurt bc Zion is choosing Scarlett over her and do mc becomes increasingly brash and charging into danger which worries Zion? It’s a lil complicated sorry haha

Request:

A/N: anonieeee:;; i’m sorry TT it took me sooo long ahh;;; kdjsjsn,,, i hope you like it,,, 😔👉🏻👈🏻

————🌷————

Jealousy | Zion

For a week or so your boyfriend, Zion, had been paying more attention to Scarlett.

Not that big of a deal, right? Yes, you guessed, but at the same time it kind of… hurt you? Maybe not so much the fact he was spending time with the pretty blonde but how pushed back you felt.

He constantly pushed you away with excuses involving her and it got to the point even the other guys thought something was up. Eugene and Harry began hanging out with you, out of what you could only guess was pity.

So, instead of bottling the feelings up any longer you decided to confront him. You knew that keeping the frustration in would only hurt you and the relationship.

So, you gathered all your courage and knocked on his classroom door.

As it slowly opened you were able to take a small peek to find, to much surprise, that it was empty.

You stepped inside quietly and looked around worried, it was already past the established bedtime and Zion was nowhere to be found.

“Zion,” you whispered as you squint your eyes, the blue-tinted room dark from the lack of light source.

No answer.

You felt a headache coming to you as worry washed over you, where could he be? Had he left with- no, he wouldn’t?

“Did he leave with her?” You bit your nails in worry, the thought was irrational no matter from what angle you looked at it but for some reason your distraught mind made it seem like the only rational solution. He had been spending an awfully long amount of time with her.

Your chest felt contacted as if it had shrunk in size and tears blocked your vision; you were scared, standing in his room at night, of losing him. You felt like the relationship was going nowhere, it was stuck in a limbo where neither of you could understand the other, you didn’t want that.

You rub your eyes before turning around and leaving the room quickly, maybe he was just checking up on food? Water? What would he be checking in on anyway!

You hurriedly make your way to your room when you hear a giggle, a girly giggle; Scarlett, soon followed by a deeper laugh… Zion was with Scarlett.

Somehow, the prospect made your chest hurt more than if he had suddenly left. He had chosen her over you, again.

You turn on your heels, it felt like your feet were glued to the ground and you couldn’t move; you felt small. Had Zion regretted being in a relationship with you instead of being with Scarlett?

You gulp down a fat tear before sprinting down the stairs and into the back of the school where you felt your legs give up.

He had been your only comfort for a while, a sign of you not being alone and yet he felt like he was slipping away.

You felt tears rapidly fall down your cheeks as your whole body trembled as you sobbed, before long you felt yourself grow tired and limp; exhaustion soon became present in all of your muscles.

You were sure you were alone, no one was going to be with you anyway- not even your boyfriend stuck with you, but apparently, a zombie would.

You heard a low growl coming from your right, a growl similar to that of a disfigured wolf threatening because you knew what it once was but terrifying of what it had become.

You turn around slowly attempting to move quietly, you squint your eyes trying to find the source of the movement when you catch a glance of a tall silhouette hanging from a tree.

“How did it get here?” You mumbled as you slowly crawl backwards in fear, if you could run fast enough maybe it wouldn’t see you but it was too late as it snapped its neck to face you, burnt skin that had come out of its face and yellow teeth drenched in dried blood became visible as it opened its mouth and screamed.

Adrenaline pumping in your veins your scramble upwards and attempt to run back inside only to trip on a stick and fall face first into the ground,

you were now scratched and bleeding. Your whole body burned as you turned around to see that thing trying to climb down the tree, it didn’t seem to know how so you tried your luck again and forced yourself up and sprinted down the back of the school.

You heard a thud behind you and almost tripped again when you saw it laying on the ground trying to get up; it had a few missing limbs and you could see the flesh and bones where they had been amputated, you were trying your hardest not to puke.

Just as you were about to give up you extend your finger in hopes of finding anything to protect yourself, you feel a cold metal blindly grasp for it; a pole, it was awkwardly cut and it had a sharp edge in the end, and right now it was the only thing you could use to attempt to use for protection.

You use it to try and stand up and quickly change the way you grasp it before awkwardly raising it and hitting it against the floor as a warning, but it didn’t care and only continued getting closer to your panicking form. You raise it again now that it was a bit closer and shove it inside the things neck, blood splattered around the floor and up the metal and you felt your food travel up your throat, just as you were about to repeat the moment you heard someone scream your name.

“What the fuck are you doing-?!” A bush of red hair darted from behind the creature and tackled you in a hug, it was Zion.

“I-I was trying to,” you attempt to form a coherent sentence as he smothered you against his chest.

He looks at you dead in the eyes with worry, it was the first time he had looked at you like that in a while, before turning around to the impaled creature he slowly took the pole out of its neck and shoved it in the chest, not that you could see well with tears forming around your eyes, and just like that it slowly died.

“You were looking for me?” You asked softly.

“I just told you that,” he ruffles his hair annoyed, “why were you out here this late?”

“I don’t know…”

“You don’t know why you’re out here?” Zion raised his eyebrow at you.

“I- yes I know but it’s dumb,” you cough slightly.

“Of course it’s dumb, I can’t think of a single damn reason why you’d willingly walk outside and into a darn zombie,” he looked at you confused, “Just tell me.”

“I-I was,” you take a deep breath as you felt the scars and bumps you got, “I was jealous of- of Scarlett.”

“Jealous of Scarlett?” Zion breathed out confused, he walked over to you with furrowed eyebrows as he laughed awkwardly.

“Yeah, I- you were spending so much time with her I-I thought you, maybe, regretted being with me,” you explained shyly, “I tried looking for you to talk it out but- I heard you two hiding or something and I didn’t wanna bother you…”

“S-So instead of waiting you ran here up to a zombie?” He tried to understand your reasoning as you two stood under the bright moon.

“Not really, I just wanted to walk it out and it was there…”

“You could’ve died, you could have died!” Zion whispered to himself before realizing how it could’ve ended, “[Name], are you stupid?!”

“I didn’t mean to but it just happened-“

“You happen to find a coin not try taking down a fuckin’ zombie by yourself! Not even Ethan and I can do that, you’re lucky this bastard had only two days left before becoming fossil fuel!” Zion exclaimed, “You should’ve told me before, you-you should’ve at least waited or something!”

“Waited for what? For you- you to turn me down whenever I try talking to you?” You spit back annoyed, had he not realized how he was pushing you back, “Haven’t you noticed how little time you’ve spent with me? I-I have been trying, Zion, for a week- hell maybe even more- to talk to you about it but you’re always running off with her! So go ahead, dump me and go for her! You spend so much time with her I’m not even sure you’re my boyfriend!”

You felt your chest rise and fall rapidly as you finished your rant, finally getting it all out of your chest. You couldn’t find it in yourself to look him in the eye either tears jam-packed in yours, your hands trembled on your sides as you attempted to calm your heart down.

“Oh?” The red-haired boy whispered, you look up to him and find him standing in front of you, “I-I didn’t know that you felt like that, I-I’m sorry…”

“You should be,” you stutter, “I just need to know, and be honest, is this even gonna work?”

“What? Us? Of course it will, what are ya’ saying?,” Zion was taken by surprise, “This was just a lack of communication, whenever you feel like this again, just tell me… Okay?”

“Fine…”

“And whenever you feel like you need some space or that Scarlett’s hogging me up,” he approaches you slowly before hugging you tightly, “Don’t be a fucking idiot and tell me.”

“Sure,” you hug him back. Even if he was rough around most edged, even if he had a hard time reading the signs you dropped- he could be nice, yeah… he could be.

[sickjoonie]

“reappearing after having slept for over 24 hours with messy hair, sleepy eyes and bare feet” this is so a Yoongi thing after working non-stop in his studio! I was gonna try to write it myself but I lost the motivation I had.

don’t worry i think all your motivation went to me bc this turned out to be 2k lol

uhhh cat!yoongi because i wanted some sleepy cat yoongi in my life and so did you you just didn’t know it until now

-

yoongi stretched, hearing his back pop. he had been sitting in his studio chair for hours on end, working on perfecting a song. it felt like forever, but he had finally reached a point in which he felt confident about the result of his producing.

he was exhausted, having spent the entire night finalizing his song. he couldn’t remember the last time he slept; his cat instincts were screaming at him to just curl up and fucking rest. now that the song was finished, however, he would finally be able to properly go to bed.

screw having a normal sleep schedule. yoongi slept when yoongi wanted to sleep.

he saved everything for the second time and turned everything off, satisfied with his work. it felt refreshing, he mused, to be able to turn everything off without any worries about what he needed to do next. he headed back to the dorm with sleepy eyes and a settled heart, ready to hibernate.

he had just gotten back when he was intercepted by jimin.

“ah, hyung is back!” jimin greeted with a hug, nuzzling yoongi’s neck affectionately.

yoongi hummed, body leaning into jimin’s embrace. jimin smelled nice, yoongi observed. he smelled familiar and sweet and comforting. yoongi was a bit more sensitive to smells from the cat part of him and always was drawn to the scents of his bandmates. he found himself unable to pull away.

jimin giggled, noticing yoongi’s clinginess. he only really got like that when he was super tired and about to fall asleep. “you must be exhausted from working so hard,” jimin cooed, rubbing yoongi’s back. he could hear the beginning of low rumbles in yoongi’s chest, signaling contentment.

“mm,” yoongi groaned. even standing, he was struggling to keep his eyes open.

jimin took advantage of the normally grumpy yoongi’s sleepy state. he pulled back from the embrace to look at yoongi, cooing once again seeing his droopy eyes and ruffled hair, kitty ears droopy. “so cute.”

yoongi pouted in response. “wanna sleep.” he yawned, eyes watering.

jimin smiled fondly, taking the opportunity to press a kiss to yoongi’s nose. “sleepy kitty,” he teased, “let’s get you to bed.”

he guided yoongi to bed, a hand resting gently at his waist. he only left his side when yoongi kicked him out of his room so he could change into his pajamas. normally, yoongi didn’t care about what he slept in. but he had been working non stop and it had paid off; he deserved some luxury.

he put on his favorite selection of pajamas (namjoon’s hoodie that hung well past his hips and over the start of his tail and a pair of jungkook’s sweatpants) and opened his door back up to let jimin back in. he didn’t expect to see hoseok standing there as well, in his own pair of pajamas.

as soon as hoseok saw yoongi, looking small in the oversized sweatshirt with sleepy eyes, he cooed loudly and embarrassingly.

“isn’t he adorable, jimin ah? the cutest little kitty” hoseok cupped yoongi’s face, the rapper whining.

jimin easily agreed. “he’s worked so hard, it’s time for him to sleep.”

hoseok nodded and removed his hands, instead going over to yoongi’s bed and sitting on it. yoongi followed after him, relief of finally being able to sleep flooding over him.

jimin pulled the covers back for him and he curled up, tail wrapping around his waist, letting jimin tuck him in with no complaints. normally, he would at least try to keep up his hyung image by scolding jimin, but he was too tired and soft now.

“do you want me to hold you until you fall asleep?” hoseok offered, heart melting at the site of yoongi curled up comfortably.

yoongi gave a small nod. there was something about how hoseok held him that made him fall asleep so much faster. his scent was most comforting. or perhaps it was because of how hoseok put all his affection in his cuddles, paying attention to the minor things to make yoongi as comfortable as possible.

hoseok slipped under the covers, ignoring jimin’s pout as he messed them up. he pulled yoongi into his arms, letting the elder bury his nose into hoseok’s shirt and place his hands gently on hoseok’s waist. hoseok rested his head on top of yoongi’s hair and petted around the ears, making sure he felt safe and cozy.

jimin fixed the covers around them until all that was left of yoongi to be seen was his hair underneath hoseok. jimin smiled, content with his work. he could hear yoongi purring, a signal that the cat hybrid was very pleased and affectionate.

yoongi was warm and very cozy, the smell of hoseok next to him and the feeling of his body intertwined with yoongi making him relax naturally. his eyes finally closed completely and the tiredness in his bones overtook his body until he was lost to reality, finally asleep.

-

yoongi woke up to someone petting his hair and rubbing his tummy. he stayed still, enjoying the affection and the relaxing tingles it sent through his body. he purred softly, ready to drift off back to sleep at any moment.

he was so relaxed that when the warm hand moved off his belly, he whined and finally opened his eyes to pout.

even in his sleepy haze, he could make out the familiar boxy smile.

"good morning hyung," taehyung giggled, amused by yoongi's pout. "did you sleep well?"

yoongi groaned, stretching and yawning. "it was good." he felt refreshed, no longer sagging under exhaustion or ready for another nap. "rub my tummy so more."

taehyung smiled fondly, his hand moving back to yoongi's stomach and moving in soft circles. yoongi let his eyes slip close again, content with taehyung’s presence and affection. the purrs returned once again.

“i think it’s time for you to get up, hyung,” taehyung tried to coax him out of bed.

“never. i’ve morphed into this bed, i cannot be removed from it without dying.”

taehyung rolled his eyes at yoongi’s dramatics. “you’ll starve to death first. you slept for 24 hours, hyung, i can feel your tummy rumbling.”

yoongi pouted, but knew taehyung was right. he was really hungry and thirsty. he also needed to use the bathroom. he expressed this to taehyung, who rolled his eyes again and said,

“then use it, coward.”

yoongi reluctantly departed with his bed and used the bathroom. his body was stiff, the way it normally got after sleeping an abnormal amount of time. he yawned widely and stretched after he had done his business. in the mirror, he could see his hair sticking up all over the place, his cat ears almost being hidden by it all. the bags under his eyes were gone, however, and his cheeks had a warm flush to them.

he padded out of the room and headed to the kitchen. taehyung had been very accurate; he was extremely hungry and prepared to destroy any food on sight.

only when he entered the kitchen, seokjin was already in there. he could smell food and his mouth watered, ears perking up in anticipation and tail twitching.

seokjin turned to see yoongi practically drooling and laughed. “good morning yoongi yah. somebody’s hungry.”

yoongi nudged his way under seokjin’s arm, peering at all the noodles and rice and soup his hyung was making. said hyung laughed at yoongi’s wide eyed expression and scratched behind yoongi’s ears fondly.

“it’s almost ready, go sit down with jungkookie. make sure the kid isn’t still dead to the world.” seokjin gently shooed him off, returning to his work.

yoongi moved to the eating area where jungkook was currently laying dead asleep on the table. yoongi wasn’t surprised; the bunny hybrid was nearly impossible to wake up in the mornings. he did, however, know the trick to getting jungkook up.

yoongi carefully draped himself over jungkook’s back, nuzzling the back of the boy’s neck and purring loudly. moments later, jungkook was stirring, brought out of slumber by the kitty on his back. his fluffy ears were droopy and adorable and yoongi couldn’t stop the rush of fondness for the youngest.

“rise and shine brat,” yoongi whispered, though there was too much fondness and purring for any insult to be traced with his words.

jungkook groaned dramatically, stretching before gently pushing his hyung off his back. “you’re finally up.”

yoongi ruffled jungkook’s already messy hair and settled next to him. “a whole day of sleep. it was heaven.”

jungkook yawned widely. “sounds like it.”

seokjin then walked in the room with some plates, followed by taehyung carrying bowls. they set down the food in front of jungkook and yoongi before settling down themselves. yoongi’s mouth watered and he eagerly picked up his chopsticks, eyes wide in anticipation.

“you’re a lifesaver, jin hyung,” yoongi admired. seconds later, he was digging into the food, groaning obnoxiously at how good it tasted. it was warm and delicious, the perfect meal for an empty belly.

he didn’t pay attention to the quiet chatter between taehyung and seokjin (jungkook was still too dead to hold a conversation), instead making his way through all the rice and noodles and stew seokjin had made. he finally stopped once he felt the pang of fullness in his belly, setting down his chopsticks with a content sigh.

seokjin noticed yoongi’s empty dishes and smiled. “have enough to eat there?”

yoongi nodded, patting his full tummy. he wasn’t completely stuffed, but he also knew that there was no room left; it was a bit bloated from all the food. it left him with a warm, cozy feeling. the only thing left to do was find someone to cuddle him and pet him and his morning would be complete.

he cleaned up his dishes and set out to the living room, hoping to find one of the members there. sure enough, there was namjoon with a book in hand and a fluffy pastel pink sweater on. namjoon made for excellent cuddling material, something all the members collectively agreed on. sure, he was a bit awkward about it, but it was nothing different from the normal awkwardness they dealt with.

namjoon was tall and long, making him effective at holding members close to him and completely surrounding them. he was warm and just the right amount of soft (as much as they joked about it, his “namtiddies” were very comfortable to lay on) that all the members treasured the time spent cuddling him.

yoongi had his target. he walked across the living room and climbed onto the couch, facing namjoon.

namjoon peered up from his book, only to be met with sad kitty eyes, fluffy tail twitching and ears pointed up in an adorable manner. namjoon was physically unable to say no to what he knew yoongi wanted.

wordlessly, yoongi climbed into namjoon’s lap, shifting around until he was settled. he rubbed his cheek against namjoon’s chest, purring loudly as he felt the warmth of his younger member surround him.

“uhm- good morning hyung?” namjoon was confused, to say the least. he always was whenever yoongi decided to cuddle him. mainly because yoongi never verbally admitted to it. he more or less forced himself onto namjoon’s lap and demanded attention silently by staring at namjoon and purring loudly until he got it.

“hm, don’t tell jin hyung, but i think his food is pornographic material.”

namjoon sighed, unsurprised yet still tormented. “i take it you enjoyed breakfast and now want some attention.”

yoongi hummed, bumping his head against namjoon’s free hand. “you know the drill. put your hand to use for something other than touching dick.”

namjoon groaned but started petting yoongi, so he could care less about whatever crisis he sent namjoon into. he purred happily, pleased with the tingles it sent down his spine whenever namjoon scratched around his ears.

“i’m glad to see you got the rest you needed, hyung,” namjoon piped up after a while.

yoongi admittedly felt much better; was this what having a normal sleep schedule felt like? “i think i’ll pass on pulling any more mini hibernations, but thank you.”

namjoon smiled. “so long as you try to work on your sleeping schedule, you’ll be fine.”

yoongi didn’t bother making any promises, knowing that around comeback, he would most likely break it. he did consider it, however. he felt like he was a brand new person. maybe having a normal sleeping schedule would be worth it.

….but then again. he is min yoongi, part cat and full time workaholic.

normal sleep schedules were overrated anyways.

[stereotypcd]

 ooc;; here’s PART ONE the second part is coming soon, I’d love to hear what u guys think of it so hmu if u wanna if not thats cool too. i put it under a read more bc holy fuck it’s long.

A FEW DAYS BEFORE MOVING INTO HER GRANDPARENTS HOUSE:

She wakes up alone. The only sound is her heartbeat, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Counting the beats of her heart was something, Debbie has done the moment she learned her numbers ( and how to talk ) it took 2,130 heartbeats for Mama and Daddy to get home. They said she was finally old enough to stay at camp alone, inside the comvee of course. While they went to film animals, they were trying to get Daddy’s show back ( which they had been doing and failing since Debbie turned two years old. ) Twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen- rubbing the sleep from her eyes, eighteen, swinging her body to the edge of the bed, nineteen, climbing the ladder and opening the door to the top level of the comvee. Twenty.

Hazel hues glance up at the note pinned to the fridge, not ever bothering to open it, because she knew it would empty. WENT FILMING. BE BACK BY LUNCH, STAY IN THE COMVEE AND DRINK PLENTY OF WATER, AND TAKE YOUR NAP- LOVE YOU, SWEETHEART. But they had left a few water bottles since out in the desert dehydration was no laughing matter, where the sun could drain the life from your veins in mere seconds. A bowl of leftover noodles on the table, they had been eating plain noodles for two weeks straight, it was to the point where just seeing it made her stomach turn. But she would shovel it down, hardly even tasting it. It was better than starving to death. Debbie learned to not voice her discomforts, it only caused more problems. She knew her parents were doing the best they could given the situation. Sitting around doing nothing all day made Debbie restless and put her on edge. she cleaned she decided to clean up a bit, it was fairly easy to clean up since the comvee was a compact space, so there wasn't a need for a vacuum, a broom, and dustpan could do the same amount of work. ( of course, it was a bit more time consuming. ) So she swept the floor, emptied the contents out outside, and walked back to the comvee to finish the chores ( plus the extra things she added on. ) she was finishing up the last chore, the remaining dishes, dipping her hands in again, wincing, a loud cry escapes her throat, eyes shimmering with tears, dark red staining the soapy water, a large gash down the palm of her hand. It took Debbie almost ten minutes to stop sobbing and to bandage the wound and finished washing the dishes. Being extra careful to not cut herself again. The blonde sits the dishes in a rack to dry, wiping her arms and pushing her hair out of her eyes. She was proud of herself for getting everything done in time for her nap. Things were going pretty good today, well besides the sharp pains in her stomach. It was getting harder to ignore the empty, gnawing, painful feelings in her stomach, Mama called it hunger pains. Crawling into her bed, small arms wrapped tightly around her stomach, she was supposed to be taking a nap. But it was hard when it felt like someone was twisting a knife into her stomach, squeezing her eyes shut and forcing herself to try and sleep through the pain. Counting the beating of her heart while she drifted toward sleep. She dreams of French fries. Hot, golden and greasy. Greedily stuffing them into her mouth. She wanted dozens. Boxes full, enough to never be hungry again, feeling the tastes explode against her tongue. She dreams of food as her stomach growls and her muscles clenched and a whimper escapes chapped lips.

Then, she woke up.

Debbie woke up more hungry than when she went to sleep. Debbie was so use to those dreams that the throbbing pain in her head, along with the emptiness in her stomach were almost too normal for the 4 year old. Mouth bone dry, sweaty blonde locks sticking to her forehead, vision slightly blurry, pulling her legs against her and wrapping her arms around her them. Hazel hues land upon the air conditioner, fingers hovering over the on the button, licking dry lips. Pulling her arm away, wiping the sweat ( or tears ) from her eyes. After a few more minutes of sitting curled into herself, Debbie decided it was time to get up. Swinging her legs over the edge, a shark band-aid across her knee from when she fell chasing an aardvark around camp yesterday. ( which Nigel had a spend a hour and half talking about ) Debbie smiled at the memory, there were good things among the bad if you looked hard enough.

They came home looking worn and sweaty as Mama shuffled up the comvee steps holding a strange looking box that she wouldn't let Debbie see. She was forced to sit outside with Daddy, he doesn't notice the bandage wrapped around her hand or if he had he never says anything. Debbie preferred it that way, she didn't want to add any more stress upon her daddy ( and mama’s ) shoulders. But at least he had gotten fruit for lunch... Even it was kiwi ( it had been the cheapest thing at the market ), ”Sorry, Sunflower. I know how you aren't too fond of kiwi, but next time I'll get the biggest and shiny apple I can find.” The blonde smiled, swallowing down the last bit of fruit, Daddy kissed her cheek and went to check on Mama. Debbie emptied her stomach and covered it with sand, shame burned through her and her hands shake. Hazel hues scanned the surrounding area, no animals or her parents in sight, her stomach rolled. ( Mariann checks the test again. Checks the box to make sure she's reading it correctly. No, oh God, please no! Beside her, Nigel looks it over as well, and her stomach clenches. “It’ll be already, dearest.” Nigel kisses her forehead. ) Later when Debbie was in the bathroom washing her hands she found the little stick with a + on it, when she asked her Mama what it meant she started crying and Daddy rubbed her back and muttered things she couldn't understand.

LATE AFTERNOON:

“We can’t keep living like this, Nigel.”

“I know, dearest.” Rubbing a hand over his knuckles. ”Our show is nearly back, that film of the Wildebeest seems to have caught their attention and they said they would start funding our show again... if- if we kept filming.” Nigel raked a hand through his ponytail, wrong. That was so wrong. This is about his children and their happiness, not his. Nigel knew he was fooling himself into beliving if they kept going that things would get better, that they would have the show back. Debbie wouldn’t have to go hungry again, but weeks turned to months and then to years- Debbie was 2 years old when they begin filming and she’s 4 years old now. It was time to face the facts that the show wasn’t coming back and he hated himself for how blind he had been to not only himself but his wife and most of all to Debbie. His precious little sunflower. “Debbie deserves a better childhood then this-“ A hand reaches up to muffle a sob. “And,” she paused. Resting a hand atop her stomach. “I’m pregnant.” The words came out small and hushed like she didn't even want to hear the words. “I don’t want to bring another baby into this world not knowing if we can properly care for it.” Nigel remained silence, letting his wife vent out her feelings. She clearly needed this. “Just barely scraping by, we can hardly keep ourselves fed... Let alone Debbie. This isn't how a child should grow up.” Living day to day wasn’t how they wanted to raise their children, it wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair to anyone. ”Perhaps it is time we set down roots, for the sake of children.” This was about Debbie’s and their future baby’s wellbeing. They deserved a chance at a normal and stable childhood... They had already in slow ways ruined Debbie's. They had been incredibly selfish and they can never fix it. “I’m calling my mother tomorrow.” A laugh left her throat. “She’s been nagging us for years about moving back in with her and Dad.” Nigel nodded, he remembers. She wipes her eyes. Mariann was a bit bitter her mother always nagging about her job about how she was raising her child.... it was so frustrating. This is for the children, his is for the children, this is for the children. She kept repeating that phrase over and over in her head.

Ear pressed against the thin door, she knew she was supposed to be in the shower since it was her bath time, but her parents have been acting weird since they got home. A baby? A heavyweight settles against her chest, suddenly it was growing harder to breathe, trying to catch her breath. She couldn't, though, and her hands clenched. Her heart had sped up wildly and she couldn't seem to get it to calm at all. Something was horribly, horribly wrong. Her chest hurt, and she couldn't breathe and everything - it took her a few minutes to come down from it, and then there was nothing but exhausted crying. Slowly but surely her breathing because soft and her hands weren't shaking anymore, but that heavyweight atop her chest never seemed to fade. Mama was having a baby?

———

“Sweetheart, dinner will be—“ She froze, eyes wide and still clinging to the door like it were a lifeline. “Debbie. What's wrong?” Mariann already knew what was wrong and it broke her heart. The sound of her Mama's soft voice drags her from her thoughts. “N’tin’ jus’ sleepy...” Voice horse and small. Down on her knees in seconds, grabbing her baby into a tight hug combing slender fingers through golden locks. “Shhh, it’s alright. Mama’s got you.” A feeling of dread settled in the pit of her stomach, she felt worthless as a mother, like she failed her... Which she guessed she did, in a way. The guilt only ate away at her when blue hues landed on the bandage wrapped around her small hand, a spot of dark, crusted over blood seeped through, the air had been sucked from her lungs, eyes watering. Her hand. What happened to her hand? Mariann didn’t ask questions about how she got it, because like everything else she already knew. She cleaned the cuts, dressed it with fresh bandages and kissed her hand. “I’m so sorry, baby. Mama is so sorry.” Voice soft, heavy breathing and sobs escaping her Mama, gripping her Mama’s arm, the embrace was warm and soft and Debbie never wanted to leave. An unknown feeling settled in Debbie’s heart, it was all twisted and she didn’t understand why she felt this heavyweight in her heart and atop her shoulders. Was this her fault? A few moments later the sobs turned to whimpers and soon she was calm again. Mariann held her and curled up into the bed, told her about the animals the had filmed today. They stayed like that until dinner was ready.

They had dinner around 6pm, it was white rice and molasses ( which helps to sweeten the plain rice a bit ) Debbie hated how the molasses felt going down her throat, it sticks to the roof of her mouth and teeth and feels heavy in her stomach like swallowing bricks. But she ate because it made the hunger pains go away. Plus had the benefit of filling her up faster, which is probably why it was for dinner. Daddy let mama and Debbie eat first while he put the dishes away, Mama was silent doing most of the dinner. Hazel hues glanced up from her half-empty plate, stuffing a spoon full into her mouth. “I saw a pretty horsey t’day, it had, like, black and white strips.” Muttering with a mouth full. Mama looked up, a tired smile slowly crossing her lips a laugh leaving her throat. “That’s wonderful, sweetheart. But it’s called a zebra.” Debbie’s face lit up a wide smile, one of her front teeth was missing. “Zeb-r.” The word felt funny leaving her mouth. “You should go tell Daddy, I know he’ll be happy to hear that.” The blonde nodded. “But finish your dinner first.” She didn’t need to be told twice, she devoured it into minutes. While she was getting up from the table she noticed Mama had hardly touched hers, she frowned. Crossing her arms and planting herself back into her seat. “You gotta, like, eat, Mama.” Debbie looked her straight in the eyes ( which was something Debbie never really did. ) She wanted to prove her point that she needed to eat too. She watched her eat a few spoon fulls, a twitch of a smile crossed her face. “Good.” Giving a nod, before running off to tell her Daddy about the horsey, er, zebra.

LATER THAT NIGHT ( 7pm ):

It was a warm night, Mama had gone to bed the moment dinner was finished, she had helped Daddy put the dishes away. It was nice. She told him about the zebra and he rambled off facts about the said animal, every once in a while his eyes would linger on the bandage around her hand, Debbie knew he was chomping at the bit to ask her about it. But the words never left his throat, which Debbie was thankful for, she was far too exhausted to try and explain it. Once everything was put away and Debbie was in her footy pjs, Daddy took her up to the roof of the comvee to look at the stars. Hazel hues watched stars speed past eyes her, it was like someone had poured salt against very dark cloth. Curled up against her Daddy, apple in hand, rubbing a thumb across the smooth texture of the apple, it had warmed a bit in her hands. Finally, after a few moments the blonde raised it to her lips and took a huge bite out of it, shimming a put at the sweet taste of it, Daddy smiles down at her. “I’m glad you’re enjoying it, Poppet.” They continued like that throughout the night, pointing out various constellations until Debbie couldn’t keep her eyes open. Glancing down to the sleeping 4 year old wrapped up his arms, an apple lay forgotten still clenched between small fingers. “Don’t worry, Poppet, ” he whispers, eyes glossy with unshed tears. Placing a kiss, softly atop her forehead. ”Things- Things are going to be better... I promise.” He swore on his life that he would fix this, make sure Debbie grow up never being hungry or scared again. He wouldn’t let his baby girl suffer. Never again.

———

THE NEXT MORNING:

The camp was set up near a stream where they could get water and take baths, but it had dried up. It just happened to be the dry season in the Savanna meaning most of the plants shrivel up and die and sometimes the rivers and streams dry up, leaving behind dry cracked earth baking in the sun. A lot of the animals migrate to find food. Which was also what Daddy went to do since they had no water and food ( Debbie had eaten the last of the rice for breakfast, which made her feel guilty over because Mama and Daddy hadn’t eaten ) left Daddy had to go to the market early before the sun had even rose, he always said it was best plus the drive/hike there was long. It was just Mama and Debbie left to stay at camp and wait for him to return, it was hard because Debbie was so, so thirsty. Golden locks flapping in a sudden gust of heated wind. For a moment, everything was still and peaceful. Tired hazel hues flicked up to the face of her Mama, she looked worn and stressed. She swallowed it was like eating sandpaper, licking chapped lips.

Her mouth was so dry, tongue sticking to the room of her mouth. ”thirsty.” The words were forced from an aching throat, while Mama combed slender fingers through golden locks. ”I know, baby. Your father should be home soon.” Daddy has left early in the morning before the sun was even awake, he wanted to her to the market before everything was taken. They would need to have enough food to make the trip to Mariann’s parent’s house which would take a week or more.

A pause.

”Why don’t you try and get some rest.” Giving a weak nod, shutting glossy eyes. She was fighting off the tears she knew would fall if she kept trying to force words from dry lips. Debbie was just glad they had leftover rice from last night so at least, her stomach was full. Kind of, Debbie was never really full just enough to take the edge off of her growling stomach… Just enough to keep her alive. Debbie dreamed of laying on her back, hair flowing around like a helo, in a large body of water, the sea, she could taste the salt water on her lips. ( don’t drink the water, sweetheart ) the sun beating down against her skin, eyes lazily shutting a sigh of peacefulness leaves her lips. shoulders slacking, her whole body trying to jelly- the stress seemed to melt away in seconds. A wide smile reaches chapped lips, tiny hands dip under the clear water, cupping the water and raising it to her lips only for it to slip through her fingers. She tried again, but still, it spilled from her hands.

Tears well up, eyes glossy. Her breath hitching on a sob. No. No. No! She tried again but it ended the way. Warm tears spill freely down red cheeks. Again and again and again and again and again- “Deb-“ A Voice broke through the fog of the nightmare, it was her Mama. “Wake up, sweetheart.” Hazel hues snapped open and she jolts upright, chest heaving. “You were having a bad dream.” Blinking, once, twice. Her cheeks were wet. The nightmare was quickly forgotten when she heard her Daddy walking up to camp. “Hello, poppet!” The blonde jumped up, almost tripping over her own feet. rushing into her Daddy’s full arms. “Oof- it’s nice to see you too.” A bark of a laugh reached his throat. Mariann followed after her, a smile across her lips.  

Nigel placed a kiss to the top of her head, sitting the bags down. Wiping an arm his wife. Nigel reached back and handed each of them a water bottle, Debbie’s eyes lit up like a kid in a candy store. Hungrily twisting the cap off with her teeth, guzzling it down in three breaths, the plastic cheaking. Cooling her burning throat. Still gripping the bottle, almost scared that if she let go she’d never get water again. She knew that was a lie because Mama and Daddy would never let that happen. Her body desperately craving for more, the dry air was already beginning to dry out her mouth, she snapped it shut. Hazel hues glance up to Mama, she looks tired. Debbie instantly feels a stab of guilt clenching her insides, she should have saved some for Mama. Why didn’t she save some? Why was she so greedy and stupid? The blonde bites down on her quivering lip. ( She doesn’t realize there are more bottles. )

[shellheadtmarc]

;; appearance info

actually, here’s a second thing i wanted to mention bc the new avengers trailer and how gaunt tony looks in it reminded me.

tony, in the wasteland, is a lot leaner than in canon.  it can’t be helped, really, when you consider the conditions of the wasteland itself.  he does look gaunt to a degree, especially in his face.  his cheeks have hollowed out a bit so the bone structure stands out more sharply.  he’s still fairly healthy, mind, but when you consider that he’s constantly moving, constantly working, and constantly fighting, it’s not that he’s dropped weight so much as the structure of his musculature has changed considerably.  before the war he was a lot more stacked, with thick muscle of a guy who sees a gym often enough to stay in shape but who mostly works in a somewhat sedentary way.  at a computer or a desk or so on.

in the wasteland there’s no option to really do that for long periods of time.  threat literally is imminent.  there’s always someone or something looking to kill you (and sometimes eat you).  the fight for survival is very often literally a fight.  and the quality of things like food is often questionable as hell, and a good bit of the time there won’t be enough of it.  life is kind of shitty in the wasteland, even if you live in a fairly safe settlement, which is part of what drives tony so hard to do as much repairing and improving as he can.  it’s easy to get in a bad place and starve to death.  it’s easy to die from contaminated water (which is why he wants to strangle sheng in diamond city to a degree).  

is he a stick?  hell, no.  he’s prewar, he probably still looks incredibly healthy compared to your born and bred wastelander.  he’s still heavier, especially with the fev enhanced suit.  but his silhouette has considerably changed between prewar and postwar.  someone who knew him before and hasn’t seen him since would definitely notice a difference.  

and also part of his appearance is because he’s a literal functional alcoholic and drinks a lot of meals.  there’s no aa in the wasteland, kids.

[resurrged]

© 〢▓█  ✕   𝟑.𝟎   ▷▷     GOLDEN BOY’S  /  IN BAD SHAPE

     ’ SHE GRITS HER TEETH  /  BITES THE DUST  /  COUGHS UP BLOOD  as if she means to. her palms press patterns of minuscule pebbles,  scarring vast constellations in her calloused hands.   she pauses  &  stands,  spits copper liquid and rises again.                 LIFE THRUST UPON HER  /  AS MANY HAD BEFORE  /  HOW MANY PLACES MUST SHE CALL HOME ?                             she lost count after the fifth

BACKGROUND.

 ↳    first, there was freedom, though it trapped nonetheless.   a foster child waiting for her first feast to raise her life.   picked up off the streets and prone to distant caresses,  she knew nothing else of living and took what could be given.

next, there was power,  though it sat symbolic at best.   her hollowed ribs were stuffed with riches,  her skin softened with petrissage.    she was spoiled to the core by a man who kept her secluded, watching from afar as she remained blissfully ignorant.   the sole person she could ever make happy,  she clung to his praises & at first felt hysterical at his loss. 

then there came the vicious,  the lowlives you often hear about.   they wanted her for the support, and used her presence as an item.   sometimes she would feel more of a slave than a child.   other times she was so ignored she wondered if her form was but flawed phantasm.   her father figures came in tattered & bruised,  her mothers only left to peruse.   there was yelling & fighting and it was all she could do to learn to stand her own ground.

in the end she became solitary,  fighting ends meet as soon as she could.   she’d lived through slums so long it became second nature to stick among them.   she grew conniving and selfish, understanding the toxicity of her past.   one way or another, the world was going to stop dictating her actions.

she is fifteen when she comes across a group of kids in her way.   though not much younger than she,  her edge over them is spotted within moments.   carrying supplies and taking them by surprise / it leaves her with no more than a stained fist & one more week of easy survival.   

what she doesn’t catch is how one of the boys hadn’t moved,  while his friends seemed to disperse.   she comes back to a body,  still near unconscious  ( too sore, she assumes, to move ),  and lets no more than a sigh leave her as she drags it into darkness.   he wasn’t meant to die, and suddenly she worries they were no more than adolescents filing through these parts of town for some unlikely twist of fate.

in the end the boy wakes up, weary at first but willing to cooperate with the one constant in this foreign place.   he says his name is MARCEL, and explains how he & his group were sent off to complete a job.   she can’t help but laugh at the simplicity.  ( KIDS ! to work over this ? there’s power in numbers, sure, but four idiots won’t make a mind ) .   she sighs and offers some food back to him, and soon enough they get to talking like old friends.   in feigned begrudging stance,  she offers to help him find his friends  ( ‘friends’ that receive quick scolding with the face of her palm before being set in stone, mind you. )   and before she knows it,  a bit of advice turns to returning paths and she is an accomplice in their primitive work.

in four years time they seem that much further from their task  ( ‘ FIND THE REISS CHILD & BRING HER BACK TO US ALIVE ’ )  but a lead pops up quick one night,  and ymir’s there to latch on.   they speak of a hidden child, forced into a life that isn’t her own.   with a bitter taste in her mouth she shares her theory on this ‘ KRISTA LENZ ’ ,  and it looks like the next thing they’ll set off for is her school of study.   infiltration was their strength,  and they were finally on path for their goal.

BEHIND THE PLOT.

 ↳     these are all just things that ymir wouldn’t necessarily know,  but fit into the actual idea of this au.

the reiss family was seemingly wiped out, but so were their assets. i.e. no one knows where the hell all the expensive stuff they owned went and historia is their last surviving heir, so logically they assume some some of system was set up to let her inherit it  ( after turning 18, it’s safe to assume she would just be keeping it on the low or something along those lines ).

plot twist of them going after historia for information they’ll later find out eren has because i’m weak for that founding titan parallel.  the idiot probably got the storage location from his dad & didn’t know what it was so he just  /shrug.

will most definitely grow attached to historia & the rest of the modern!104ths as is destined ty & gn.

TIDBITS. 

HOBBIES |    she’s fucking obsessed with soccer, and entirely up-to-date on any news relating to all things Sport.  probably plays a lot of shit recreationally when she gets the chance.   i can’t even expand on this because of how little i know irl lmao so just have that headcanon as is.   she also absolutely despises reading and has a little trouble with it.   she loves watching action / horror though,  and would secretly enjoy cheesy romcoms on her own time.   she isn’t the biggest on asia media but you can bet your ass she looks at  /  reads yuri manga.

MAKEUP |     definitely one of those ‘no-makeup makeup’ hoes.    she almost always does her brows bc she got none, and tightlines her eyes.   might wear concealer or lipstick if she’s feeling fancy but unless someone else does her makeup for her, she’d never step anywhere near something more complicated.  also carries burts’ bees chapstick everywhere she goes, but never fucking uses it and just bites off dry skin like a savage.

HABITS |    incredibly messy but insists she knows where everything is.   cracks her knuckles a lot (i hate it).   definitely the type to wake up & not feel satisfied until every bone in her body pops out.   she never writes anything down (even as a memo on her phone) and forgets about as often as you’d expect.   anyone who knows her most certainly has the “do this for me” “k” “... you gonna write that down” “it’s good i got it” “no you don’t write it down” conversation way too often.   also insists on walking everywhere to save money.   even if it’s like an hour away and pouring.    on her own, she likes clearing her head by hanging around empty parks. they’re typically abandoned or otherwise unnoticeable, just odd places she finds from all that walking.   if you get close enough to her,  she might take you to them,  and insist you use the playsets with her.

[wannawrite]

The Royals - PJH

who?: Wanna One’s Park Jihoon genre: 🌸🌺 type: bullet point TW: absent father, blood, physical violence, knives part one / two [ bc it got super long ] two 

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The Royals 

KD | • mafia! AU • you never knew such dark secrets lurked in your neighbourhood I love mafia AU okay, no lie. Thank you for requesting this anon! First mood board and probably the last since I’m really bad at those but I wanted to try somthing new for once.  - Admin L 

• welcome to The Royals, let me introduce them to you • an organised crime group, mainly running the streets of Seoul but they dabble in Busan and other international activities • The Royals believe each and every one of them deserves to be noble, to be upperclassmen, to be one • code name: 101 • that’s also the name of the ‘company’ they run by day • a bodyguard for hire type of company, but I guess they’re good at it because Miss Thailand, Lalisa Manoban and Miss Korea, Jennie Kim endorse them for many occasions • this entire thing was set up by a team headed by BoA, but they have now gone undercover • The Royals are headed by Kang Daniel and Jeon Somi, elite chosen ones, the first faces of the clan • they have their right-hand man/woman, Park Jihoon and Kim Sejeong • little is known about The Royals and you never want to mess with them • they’ll have your blood for sure • most of them are regular high school students, only changing faces when the time comes • Park Jihoon attended the same school as you • no one would have ever suspected him man • so innocent • so cute • full of charms • ‘nae maeum soge, jeojang!’ • a hard-working student, on the dean’s list and even the captain of the boxing team • ah boxing team • everyone loves Park Jihoon to death • who wouldn’t? he’s super sweet, will help you with your homework • but the thing is, Jihoon never really hangs out with anyone in school • in class, he keeps to himself most of the time, only speaks when he has to or when a classmate has a question • basically, he doesn’t initiate conversation but doesn’t mind talking a bit about his lavish weekend in his Jeju Island holiday home • you’ve only ever seen Jihoon eat lunch with a Taiwanese transfer student, Lai Guanlin and Kim Sejeong - both who don’t talk much to anyone either • that’s the Park Jihoon you see by day • but by night...or whenever needed... • he is The Royals best fighter • ‘iM 19 yOu fiTE mE’ • Jihoon grew up in a rather shady neighbourhood, there were many organised crime societies so he had to learn how to defend himself • especially when he walked home late because his parents were out working • it was actually then when his neighbour’s aunt, BoA, scouted him and asked him to visit her boxing training academy • the training fees were dealt with by her because she saw potential, and also because she needed to form the nation’s organised crime society • Jihoon used to train in MMA before making the switch to boxing after knowing that a school that he was supposed to enrol in had a boxing club • ‘it’s the perfect disguise, no one will ever guess’ • he only got better when his parents pulled together enough money and moved to accommodate his dad’s new job • they moved closer to his gym and naturally, he spent more time there training • that was when he met Kang Daniel and the rest is history • Jihoon plays an important role in training new applicants and making sure the ‘army’ is well looked after • which includes scheduling training, forming new teams for smaller missions and sending bodyguards for other teams like hackers • he’s also in charge of them all • so he has to ensure their welfare and make sure everyone receives proper medical attention • Jihoon also spends a lot of his time assisting Daniel and going on missions with him • he never really stays long at the HQ building for long but he does have his own private suite • as you can see, BoA sends her children a lot of money to keep the operations running • no one really knows how the hell she got so rich but you don’t question BoA • and they do fork in quite a bit from their day jobs • to summarise, Jihoon is the second in command, is the main fighter and in charge of combat, and his cover is a college student working as a concert security guard • he occasionally appears in that ' omg *the band name*’s security is so hot’ posts but Jinyoung has to hack into their account to take it down • no one can know about the 101 members • anyway, back to the plot • unlike you, your grandparents still live in the dingy, old apartment located in the shadier side of town • they own a small grocery store there and it pretty much supplies the entire estate • even after your mother built up an empire and bought them a house in the suburbs, they refuse to move and only stay there if they have to take care of your younger half-sister or your baby cousins • your mother is the CEO of a really huge law firm so you’ve always been quite well off • excluding the times when you stayed with your grandparents in their flat when you were young because your mother was struggling to make ends meet • she was a single mother • and starting her own business • shout out to all the amazing single parents who are able to provide well for your family!! • it was a tough time really • you don’t remember but your grandparents often tell you that you used to have a crush on the little boy a few doors down • lol young love • how cute • but you don’t recall at all so uh rip • he was around your age but seemed much more independent than you • he was allowed to wander the streets by himself until late at night • eventually, you moved into the mansion you currently stay in • first heartbreak :”) • it didn’t matter much since you only admired him from afar and you never got his name...at least that’s all you recall • true love never dies :( • they teased you non-stop about it at every family reunion • and then refused to tell you his name, claiming they forgot • hah • what a joke • so it’s one of those days you’re on break and not spending time in your own house or out with your friends • instead, you’re sitting in your grandparents living room and calculating some business related stuff • updating product distributors and suppliers • thinking of renovations for the store, new designs for Christmas • gathering feedback about the store and noting down maintenance work that needs to be done • at the end, you try to convince your grandparents to move to the nice terrace they own • you want your family to be closer to you, closer to the city and not in a place with only one clinic, school, two supermarkets and a small mall • you’re also well aware of the number of underground gangs there are in this area and it isn’t advisable for elderly to engage in physical combat • grandfather does own a gun though, licensed with papers and all of course • ‘sell the flat, you don’t need it anymore. come stay with us in the city. you’ll be closer to mum and I as well.’ • grandfather shakes his head. ‘I know you want what’s best for us but we have enough here. Your grandmother and I bought this place when we were struggling newlyweds, we can’t ever leave it.’ • it doesn’t sound like the only reason • but for now, it’s enough to keep your mouth shut • ‘if we move, what will happen to the store? we won’t stay near enough and it’s a pain to keep traveling,’ grandmother points out • you offer alternatives like you will run it, or the family chauffeur, maybe selling the place • they exchange looks before disagreeing • end of discussion • the Lexus comes to fetch you at the end of the day • this occurs a lot, since the house does get lonely by yourself • each time, you’re unsuccessful in convincing your grandparents to move • ‘why? what’s the actual reason?’ you demand from grandma since grandpa doesn’t expose himself • she shrugs. ‘Too many people depend on our store for jobs, food...’ • ‘but if you sell it, the company will still allow them to work.’ • she turns to you, wrinkles framing her face, eyes full of love • ‘i don’t expect you to understand since you’ve never worked there...how about working there until the end of break?’ • when you were young, you anticipated growing up so you could work, boosting your family’s financial income but now that your mother rakes in millions, working was kind of the last thing on your mind • you did a few cafe stints but that was the most experience you had • when your mother was consulted, she was ecstatic and arranged plans with her parents immediately • you started by paying a visit to the store more regularly • and found out that the entire neighbourhood patronised the store • like if it closed, no one would have food • or jobs • or food bc food is very important • it shocked to see Sejeong working as a cashier • she was rather friendly to customers but still held a grave expression and rarely conversed with her coworkers • strange • it never occurred to you that she lived nearby   • you had never seen her around before, other than at school • grandmother assigned you to be the store room packer, taking stock and whatnot • Sejeong kept out of your way, but that only elicited curiosity • during break time, she spent it far away from the rest of the workers, whispering on the phone with a smile on her face • ‘grandma, do you know much about Sejeong?’ • ‘oh, why?’ • the protective tone and defensiveness underlying sent ripples of panic through you • ‘ah nothing, we attended the same AP Literature class....’ • ‘...she’s been working here for quite awhile now but I think she’s moved out to the main city. I have no clue why she sticks it out here.’ grandmother said before shrugging and wandering off to her room • you were bone tired by the time the familiar Lexus came to a stop outside your grandparent’s apartment block • just as you slid into the back seat and greeted your chauffeur, your eyes caught on to something • rather, someone • or someones, if a word like that existed • Sejeong was walking in the direction of the nearest bus stop, due to the lack of street lamps, she carried a small torch in her hands to illuminate her path • but beside her, a tall, muscular and brown haired man walked • from what your eyes could pick up, he had candid large hazelnut brown eyes, it seemed like his delicate features were tainted with traces of blood and cuts • the car drove off into the distance before you could get a closer look, melting the two figures into mere fragments of your imagination • that was pushed out of your mind as you continued to work hard • grinding 💪🏼 • now, you had a more in-depth understanding of your mother’s hardship • she still worked a couple of odd jobs when her law firm was in it’s rookie days, just so she could afford extra things like tuition or new story books for you :”) • sigh • under the noonday sun, your eyes lidded as you painstakingly gather stray shopping carts and push them back to their dock • suddenly, a gasp leaves your lips when you feel a cold sharpness press against your back • knife • rough hands seize your arms and a hoarse voice growls into your ear • ‘where is it? where is the stash?’ • excuse me but 1800-don’t-touch-me • ‘i don’t know what you’re talking about.’ you reply in a steady voice, regulating your breathing despite the tears welling up and threatening to break free of your lower lids • your lips start quivering uncontrollably, your mind scattered • the blade presses into your side, but not enough to draw blood • it’s on the edge of it though • ‘don’t lie! we know you’re with the 101, The Royals. your family is close to them.’ • what the hell • my mother owns a law firm and you’re telling me my family is involved with the biggest organised crime association • uhhhhh....logic? • i think not • ‘I’m not lying.’ • using your legs, you aim a good kick at him and wrench free • the knife barely misses slicking your skin and you feel a sickening feel sink into your stomach • the dude’s hands curl around your shoulder, yanking you back • then suddenly, he lets out a shout as he stumbles backwards, taken by surprise by whoever came to help you • oh my god, it’s Sejeong • she wastes no time attacking him and disarming him, tossing the knife to one side - which you race after for evidence • but the telltale ‘M’ tattoo on his bicep is all you need to know to tell that he works with Mnet - The Royals biggest threat • Mnet sweetie I am so sorry • maybe I am • an unnerving crack sounds through the atmosphere before he’s laying on the ground, knocked out cold, chest rising shallowly   • ‘I’ll call my friends to deal with him. Y/N, head inside now, it isn’t safe here.’ Sejeong instructs, wiping a drop of blood from her mouth with her sleeve • you don’t bother to argue, jelly-legged, you stumble back into the store, only to find that staff are clearing customers out as fast as they can and barring all entrances • lights are slowly being turned off and some staff are clocking out way before work hours end • something definitely isn’t right • nausea bubbles in you but you can’t let any throbbing stop you from finding your grandparents • just then, someone grabs your wrist and leads you away • ‘Y/N right? Come with me.’ • your eyes go cartoonish wide when you recognise him to be the man you spotted walking home with Sejeong • her boyfriend? • his hair is cut in a boyish way that allows his fringe to sweep over his forehead but that isn’t enough to throw you off • the sleeve of his black button down rides up, exposing his small inked crown - the mark of a Royal • what is breathing? • I’ve been tossed around between two rival mafias today this is enough • what do they even want with me? • the mysterious Royal leads you to the basement, you don’t resist even though alarm bells go off in your head • he slides away what was thought to be a massive freezer door to reveal a hidden door, bolted shut • the perfect disguise • ‘Grandmother, this is Park Jihoon. I have your grandchild with me.’ •grandmother? • WHAT IS HAPPENING • the door creaks open and this Park Jihoon gently pushes you in • your grandparents embrace you the second you step into the room, tears are almost spilled • you blink, eyes adjusting to the dimness of the secret room. they widen significantly when you manage to pinpoint another two The Royals/101 members • they both have crown tattoos on their collarbones • Sejeong enters the room a few seconds later, her hair now tied up and her injuries magically gone • ‘will someone tell me what is happening?’ you burst out, unable to handle the tension anymore. • ‘a member of Mnet just held a knife to my back, and Sejeong saved me. now, I’m in a room with four The Royals members! My grandparents don’t seemed freaked out which makes matters even more confusing!’ • ‘we can’t be alarmed,’ grandfather begins. ‘these are the children we raised, the ones we treated as our own grandchildren.’ • yoU’RE TWO SECONDS FROM TEARING YOUR HAIR OUT • your knees buckle but a pair of strong arms catch your delicate from and sets you on a chair • Jihoon • he rubs your back comfortingly, whispering reassuring words to calm you down • ‘....it all began with Jihoon,’ Grandmother explains. ‘he was our neighbours only son but they were so busy with work he was often neglected.’ • ‘so in secret, whenever he had time to roam the streets by himself, we would invite him over for meals, a proper lunch, a proper shower, toys to play with.’ • ‘he was your boy a few doors down, Y/N. I don’t think you remember but you two played together for a couple of occasions’ • you bite back tears, shutting your eyes • ‘then we discovered Sejeong, like Jihoon, she wandered the roads by herself, rarely returning home as her parents were out working various odd jobs. we took her in like Jihoon. she slept over at our apartment for days.’ • ‘Yoojung and Daehwi came later, by that time, you had already moved out to your mother’s place.’ • ‘is that why you’re so attached to this place?’ you choke out • grandmother sighs, she too is struggling to keep the tears at bay • ‘it’s hard to leave four helpless children by themselves. even after they grew up, we can’t bear to leave them, especially when Daehwi confessed that he was with The Royals,’ • you suck in a breath sharply, unable to believe whatever you were hearing • it’s clear your grandparents are with The Royals and now, you feel like you don’t have a choice but to side with them • you were on their side since day one anyway...

[eeveedel]

Alex roughly eating louis that I'm all I'm sayin . Just a thought . I dunno . I haven't seen Dunkirk yet I'm gonna of spoilers

@celebratinglouis u send me the nastiest shit but also thank u. 

this is just…it’s porn. it’s angst and porn and feminization kink and poor coping mechanisms. also it’s written in like three different tenses. listen, I’m sorry. I hope you like it anyways, bc this is a concept I could write…more of. Also a few Dunkirk spoilers! 

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The train spewed steam, hot and compressed, behind him, and Alex still found the ability to push forward.

He hurt, and he couldn’t even identify where. His ears were ringing, and he’s only now noticing it. He thought his neck and his head might hurt, but then again, his wrist and his ankle might, too. It’s just everywhere. His eyes stung even though he was just asleep, his mouth tasted like warm beer and warmer water.

He blinked, and brought his hand up to his eyes, his other hand tightening on the strap of his pack. There’s no sunlight in the station, but he still feels like he should lift his hand, get a better view.

He’s standing there on the platform, three dimensions, full color. He’s wearing nearly the exact same thing he wore to the station the first time, the grey trousers and the brown braces and the big, open pale blue jumper that’s gotten paler, bordering on grey.

He’s the most beautiful thing Alex has ever seen. He’s the only beautiful thing he’s seen in a while.

Alex forced himself to take a few more steps, until he’s right there in front of him and he has to tilt his head down a bit to get a good look at him.

“Hi,” Louis said, and his voice was the same, raspy and Northern and soft, and Alex wanted to wrap him up in his arms and kiss him, dip him, spin him around like some of the other boys and their birds get to do.

But instead he just swallowed back the stiffness in his throat as Louis looked back at him carefully.

“Come on,” he said, “I’ll get you home,”

***

The flat was the same, which is to say small and dirty, partly because both of them hate cleaning but mostly because it’s a place that was built dirty and will be destroyed dirty. Louis changed the sheets on their bed, and the bathroom at least looked decent. He offered to run Alex a bath but he refused, and instead used up the warm water they could spare filling the tub. Then he stripped down, leaving his dirt and oil soaked uniform on the tile floor. There was still oil and sand in his hair, around his nails, enough he wonders if it’ll ever wash out. He wonders how Louis could bear to kiss him once the door was closed.

When he pulled himself out of the bath, he saw that Louis had set out some clothes on the bed already, a pair set of drawers and an undershirt with the paper ribbon still on it, a starched overshirt folded neatly over top of it. Alex pushes the overshirt aside and just goes for the under things. He won’t be going out for a while.

He went back out to the kitchen, then, fully prepared to sit down at the table or to first fruitlessly offer to help Louis with something. But as soon as he was in the kitchen he stopped in the doorway, almost didn’t want to breath, just wanted to stay there and remember this, exactly, forever.

Louis was standing at the stove, the gas of the machine thick and hot in the air. There was a small carton of eggs next to his elbow, behind that, a paper bag of bread. His hair is the same, soft and getting too long, his lips poked out as he cuts a razor thin slice of butter into the pan.

He was wearing his slip. The silk ladies’ night slip that someone at the corner store probably still thought Alex bought for some bird. It looked beautiful on him, it always has, even if the silk is wore and the lace over his chest looked stiff and wrinkled and a little yellow. The slip fell to Louis’s knees, the thin straps clinging to the knobby bones of his shoulders, the rest of the fabric skimming over his waist, his hips.

He was thin. He’s always been little, but he’s thin, now, some of his softness chipped away by long nights and civilian rations. His knuckles stuck out a bit, his fingers look delicate while he cracked the eggs in the pan, lifted a fork to break them up.

“How long’s it been since you’ve had real eggs?” he asked. It took Alex a minute to answer. He can see every bone rotating in Louis’s wrist.

“A fair while,”

“You’ll get sick of them soon. Probably get sick of bread sooner,”

“I’m already tired of it,”

“Then we’re off to a good start,” Louis murmured. He pushed the eggs around, the bottoms sticking to congeal the pan and sticking.

Alex breathed in deeply and went over to him, then, putting his hands on him the second he could. He pulled the cool, slippery fabric of the slip up, got his hands on the swell of Louis’s behind.

“Missed you, babydoll,” he murmured into his neck, and Louis huffed, pushing an elbow back.

“Not now,” he sighed, “You’ll make me burn it,”

“You’ll burn it anyways,”

Louis huffed and jabbed his elbow back again, making Alex have to jump out of the way.

“Go sit down,” Louis said, “You want tea?”

“Sure,”

“I’ll put the water on after this, then,” Louis murmurs. He lifts his hand, wiping at his forehead. There’s sweat building there from the pure heat of the stove. The thin strap of his slip falls a bit and Louis grabs it, slips it back over his shoulder.

Alex used to think Louis had the kind of face that men won wars for. He probably told him as much at the station before he left.

Now he realizes how much it takes to win wars. He’ll have to come up with a new metaphor.

When Louis served him a plate, the eggs were dry and black in places and the bread’s not much better, but the tea was good and nearly milk-less, which is how Alex’s always liked it. Louis sat across the table from him, nursing a cup of tea of his own, and Alex kept glancing up at him as he ate.

“Come closer,” he muttered at one point around the egg and bread in his mouth, and Louis just shook his head.

“You eat,” Louis said easily, “You got skinny on me while you were gone,”

Alex’s throat immediately felt thick, since Louis looked worse off than he did, but he didn’t say anything, just cast his eyes back down and pulled more food into his mouth until the plate was clear. He drank down more tea, letting the food wash down, and then he brought his head right back up.

“Now come here,” he said, and this time Louis just nodded and stood, his slip shifting and falling easily back over his body as he went over and then cast himself easily on Alex’s lap, his legs sprawled on either side of the chair, his feet pressed to the floor.

“Hope this is what you wanted,” he said, and Alex could only nod, couldn’t even bring his hands up to grip him, not when his nails still had oil in them and Louis looked so clean.

Louis’s eyes were closed and he pushed forward, pressing a soft kiss to the swell of Alex’s Adam’s apple, then moved lowering, his lips brhsing the hollow of his throat.

Alex’s hands tightened on his waist as Louis kissed him. He wanted to wash away in the feeling, but he couldn’t, not when he had barely gotten a good look at Louis’s eyes earlier.

The boy he’d met on the mole, the one he had never bothered to ask a name for, had told him after the fact that the man with the blankets was blind, that it would make no difference with whether he looked up at him or not. But people at the first station had cast their eyes down, voices had flown like razors.

Them boys don’t deserve the Royal uniforms when all they did was wait for a pick up.

Alex swallowed roughly, blinking back the burning behind his eyes, and he squeezed Louis’s waist once, enough to get his attention.

“Can you look at me?” he asked, and Louis easily lifted his head. His eyes found Alex’s immediately, and they were soft and bright, a mirror of the smile on his lips.

“What do I look like to you?” Alex asked softly, and Louis snorted and draped his arms over Alex’s shoulders.

“What, you want a compliment?” he said, still smiling, “Just need someone to tell you you’re the prettiest thing since the Crown Jewels?”

Alex tried to swallow again, but he felt his face shift and harden, making Louis frown.

“Alex,” he said softly, “What is it?”

“I did some bad things,” he managed, and Louis shook his head.

“No, you didn’t,”

“I ran away,”

“You got evacuated,”

“I could’ve stayed,”

“Yeah, and then you would’ve been brave and dead in the fucking French sand and where would that leave me, huh?” Louis asked, and pushed forward, pressing their noses together, “Did you think that through?”

Alex licked his lips, “I’m sorry,”

Louis sighed and drew back, “Listen. I don’t know what it’s like out there. I got a heart that skips too many beats that keeps me here. But I know you weren’t gonna just run away for no good reason,”

Alex swallowed hard, shook his head, “I tried to kick someone off a ship. He was French. Didn’t even do anything wrong, I just didn’t want to die,”

“That’s a reasonable thing to want,”

“That’s fucking selfish,”

“Yeah. You’re selfish, I’m selfish. I would’ve forgiven the whole army dying if you wound up safe on my doorstep,” Louis said. His voice was hard, and Alex knew he wasn’t going to win this argument, if that’s what it even was. He never won any of their arguments. Louis had soft eyes and a hard head and those were tough to compete with.

Alex shook his head again and then tilted his chin down, looking at his own lap.

“I’m sorry,” he said again, and Louis sighed and caught his fingers under Alex’s chin, making his gaze lift right back up.

“You’re home now,” he said softly, and Alex nodded.

“I know. I want to be home. I don’t want to think about that right now,”

Louis just looked at him carefully and nodded, shifting in Alex’s lap. As he moved, the strap of his slip fell down again, drooping to reveal more of his chest, a peaked, dusty nipple popping out.  He lifted his shoulder, pressing it nearly to his ear as he gripped the wrinkled silk, tried to pull it back up to cover himself. Alex caught his wrist, made Louis loosen his fingers.

“Don’t you go acting coy on me,” he said, making his voice as light as he could manage. Louis blinked, then shook his head, smiling at the change in his tone.

“How were the birds in France?” he asked, “They pretty?”

“Not as pretty as you,”

“Not what I asked,”

Alex swallowed, and then shrugged, “Sure they were. Didn’t get much more of them,”

Louis lifted his brows, tilted his head.

“Yeah? What about those eight-pagers you boys pass around?” Louis asked, “Find something you like there?”

Alex swallowed, “No,”

He’d seen them. Of course he had. They were more valued than water and yet shared far more easily. He’d wanked to a picture in one of them once, a girl with dark hair and some blue shorts and not much else. He’d just covered the top part, kept the image of flared hips and a round bum and just pictured a firm chest and a stubble-sprinkled chin over top.

He liked girls just fine. But girls weren’t Louis. Neither were other boys, for that matter. For Alex, there was just him. Just Louis.

Louis smirked, shook his head.

“You just waitin’ around for me then, huh?” Louis said, and Alex nodded, which only made Louis laugh.

“I’d forgive you if you did, you know,” Louis said, “Find a dame you like, have some fun. I’d let it go,”

“No, you wouldn’t,”

“Sure I would,” Louis smirked, in a way that meant he certainly would not, except when he was following through with what game he was playing, “Because I’m still your favorite girl, right?”

Alex blinked up at Louis, at his sharp face and his parted, dry lips and his eyes, so big on his slimmer face.

“Huh?” Louis prompted again, and then lifted his hands and pushed on his chest, the push of it creating a small line between his pectorals, peeking over the edge of his neckline, “Don’t have a great rack like the other girls do but you don’t care, do you, love? You always liked what’s on the bottom, anyways,”  

Alex licked his lips again, his throat suddenly feeling dry.

“You’d be right about that,”

“I know,” Louis smiled, then leaned forward, pushing his mouth firmly on Alex’s lax lips, “Come on then, handsome, you were all about that earlier, what’s the point of you having hands if you don’t put them to use?”

Alex lifted his hands, then, hesitating for a second. Louis gave him a sharp and expectant look, though, and then he pushed his hands forward and then back around. He gripped Louis’s bum in both hands, a thick swell under the slippery silk. Louis rolled his hips forward and Alex groaned shifting his own lap to meet him. His cock felt thick and hard in his drawers but he couldn’t get any friction on Louis, not when he was squirming around his lap.

“You got Vaseline?” he asked.

“Of course,” Louis scoffed, “You wanna be the one to go get it?”

Alex groaned, then shook his head.

“I got a better idea. Get up,”

Louis blinked at him but shifted himself, getting his feet flat on the floor and then lifting himself up until he was standing. Alex got up to, set his hands on Louis’s waist and then kicked at the chair behind him, giving them more room in front of the table. Louis’s gaze lifted, his eyes widening for just a moment before he looked back down and then turned, so his back was pressing to Alex’s front. Alex leaned forward, pressing his lips firmly to the side of Louis’s neck.

“Lean over,” he murmured, and Louis pushed himself closer to Alex’s touch but then leaned forward, setting his hands on the edge of the table. Alex pushed against the small of his back, his fingers barely getting traction against the slip.

“Yeah, come on, baby doll, show off for me,” he said, “You know you want to, wriggling around in your bed things like some call girl,”

Louis exhaled loudly and then pushed himself out, flattening his belly against the table and pushing his legs and hips out more. Alex got a hold of his hips and then roughly shoved up the back of the slip over the pale swell of Louis’s arse. His hands went right to his cheeks, then, and gave them a squeeze and then spread him out to see a tight hole and his pinkening cock and his swollen balls.

Alex lowered himself onto his knees, the tile of the kitchen biting his legs, and he nipped at the inside of Louis’s thigh. Louis yelped, high and strained, and Alex lapped over the pink mark on his leg before kissing it. He dragged his lips up the inside of his thigh, bit again at the soft swell of the underside of one cheek, which made Louis whimper a bit too loudly.

“We have neighbors,” Alex said a bit too firmly.

“I know,” Louis sighed, “Maybe they should put up with it. Nancy from upstairs got her husband back a month ago and I’ve had to listen to them try to make a baby every night since then,”

Alex laughed, pressing another kiss to Louis’s arse cheek.

“Could give you a baby if you wanted that,”

“Even if you could, I’d rather you give me whatever you’re planning back there,”

So Alex lifted his chin and pressed his mouth right to Louis’s hole, giving it a soft kiss that made the other man inhale sharply. Then he pushed in hard with the point of his tongue, keeping his lips hard and tight over the ring of muscle while he licked.

Louis twitched, his hips moving and pushing, and Alex flattened his tongue, lapping roughly a few times over his rim, keeping his hands tight on Louis’s thighs while he did. He lowered his lips, kissing the soft skin of his taint, and then lapped over the whole area, from the base of his rim to the very tops of his balls.

“Alex,” Louis exhaled, soft and sharp, “Alex, baby,”

He didn’t speak, mostly because he didn’t want to pull away. He kind of wanted to spin Louis around by his hips, get his cock in his mouth just to feel the weight of it, the way it perfectly filled his mouth without making his jaw too sore, so he could hold him in a place he could easily look up and see Louis’s face.

But when he brought his lips back to his rim, Louis gasped again, and it was enough to keep his mouth right there.

He kept his tongue pointed at firm, and he prodded at him, licking around his rim and the inside of his cheeks, then pushed straight into his hole like he was trying to open him up even without his finges. He’d flatten his tongue back out occasionally to lick broader strips over him, a few times he could put his tongue back entirely, kiss his hole and his taint and his balls. He lifted a hand, dragging it on the inside of Louis’s thigh, even reaching out to stroke at Loius’s length with his knuckles. He was hard, and leaking, and Alex’s own cock was thick and tight against his drawers, but he’d live if he could keep listening to the sweet, sweet sounds Louis kept making.

And then, suddenly, he had to pull away because Louis was crying.

“What’s wrong?” Alex asked as he got back to his feet. Louis was collapsed fully on the table, his legs shaking and his head buried into his arms, and his shoulders were quaking. Alex touched his shoulder and tried to get him to turn over, and then went easily, his face pink and wet when he was finally on his back.

Alex opened his mouth to speak, to apologize or to at least ask if he was alright, but Louis beat him to the chase.

“I love you,” Louis gasped, “I love you, you understand me?”

Again, Alex tried to speak and he cut right in.

“Don’t you dare think it would’ve been better if you hadn’t come back,” Louis said, “I don’t care if they had to haul you out, you’re here now,”

Softer, he spoke again, “You’re here now,”

Alex nodded and leaned forward, hovering right over Louis.

“How am I supposed to leave you?” Alex murmured, “Pretty face like yours is what someone can dream of coming home to,”

Louis looked up at him easily, his face still so open, so forgiving, and when Alex spoke again, his voice was in danger of cracking and he didn’t even bother trying to swallow it down.

“I love you,” he said, “You’re the only person I’m ever going to love, baby doll,”

Louis gave him one more long, long look, and then grabbed his shirtfront and tugged him forward, narrowing his eyes as he did.  

“You listen to me,” Louis said, “You go into the bedroom and find the Vaseline, and then you’re going to fuck me. Alright?”

Alex nodded, and Louis pushed his chest, enough to make him stumble back and trip over his feet as he went to the bedroom, found the tin of jelly in the top shelf of their shared dresser before he rushed right back to the kitchen, took his place in front of Louis’s easily sprawled body.

He slicked him down and held down his wrists, thrust his hips forward into him until the table quaked and the top of Louis’s slip slid all the way down, nearly to his waist. Louis cried out, loud and high, enough that if anyone heard they’d probably think he was a bird. He didn’t take him long for him to tremble and for his cock to spill all over the edge of his slip, a couple droplets slipping off his sharp hips and onto the table. It’d be a bitch to clean up, especially the cold water and scrubbing Louis would have to put into getting the slip back into shape. But Alex couldn’t even care, because he was pushing forward, spilling into Louis, making the other man groan weakly and buck back. His face was slick and pink, his hair limp.

When he opened his eyes, they were dark and far off and shifting, like the waves of a sea Alex actually wanted to remember.

Louis reached out a hand, and Alex let Louis grab the back of his neck, draw him forward, kiss his lips softly and then drag a thumb over his cheek. Alex’s throat felt tight, and when Louis pulled back, he whispered carefully, his fingertips still lingering soft on his skin.

“Welcome home, Private,” he said, “I’ll make sure you want to stay,”

[angelic-guardienne]

It’s 12:30 AM and I’m super tired and still have homework to do and have to get up for school in less than six hours but my brain is whirring entirely too fast. 

A few days ago I made a post about the bros being relatable, and in the tags I said Prompto specifically. 

And me? I’m so angry. I’m so angry. I know I should be forgiving, but I’m so tired of it. I’m so tired.

Read more bc I’m just -- too much. 

TL;DR: Basically I just rant for entirely too long about shitty parenting things, then connect my own experiences to Prompto’s at the veeeery end, followed by “You can’t choose your blood, but you can choose your family” and how both Prompto and I did that.

Reason I said Prompto specifically? Terrible parents. Parents that only care distantly, if at all. Parents that don’t really try.

I suppose it’s a little rude for me to say such things...

I’m just angry. See, for context, my whole life has been between two households cause my parents pretty much hate each other (and whenever I say “hate” they say that they don’t hate each other but that’s beside the point). I spend the week with my mom because she lives closer to my school, and then on weekends I go over to my dad’s.

My mom is golden, more than so. Maybe it’s because we spend so much time together, we’re just that close, she’s pretty much my best friend, she loves me enough for two people, five people. (she’s been a single mom the whole time she’s been raising kids cause my older brother’s father didn’t stick around either, which just makes my mom that much more amazing to me because she raised two kids pretty much by herself)

My dad?

With me, I bottle up things way too much so there’s always that one thing, that super small thing that always breaks the bottle, the last straw that breaks the camel’s back, that’s how I handle like 95% of everything I deal with (unhealthy, yeah, but that’s another thing for another time)

And the bottle bursting always happens whenever I’m in a good point, as in I have a bit of motivation and my grades are good and I’m just generally not as depressed and that bone-deep, soul-deep exhaustion I feel isn’t as harrowing. It’s like the plot of life takes a sudden left turn straight off of a cliff.

The little thing this time was my flute.

Y’all know I play the flute. Y’all know I’m in marching band. 

About two-ish months ago, I took my flute in for repairs, ‘cause it was garbage and didn’t play any notes, and I wanted it for marching band season so I just. Took it in for repairs, that was July? More than two months. whatever, so I got a call saying I could pick it up this week. 

Went over to the shop...

Repairs came out to be $203. Like I said, garbage flute. Buuuut way back when I sent it off originally, my dad was prepared to lay down $200 so that it could be paid for -- as in, there was a pre-payment system so that if the repairs cost $200 or less, they’d already be paid for, but if it was over that amount they’d have to get customer approval before beginning transactions and whatnot.

(Of course it’d be $3 over the line... but anyways)

So I’m like, cool, I’ll just call my dad and he can pay for it and I can pick up the flute, it’ll be great, right? 

Nope. (and here, if this was a verbal story, I’d pop my “p” just because of how simply and quickly he turned me down and how infuriated I am about it)

The basic rundown of what he said was that no, I wasn’t going to get my flute until next week (this week, now) and that I wouldn’t have it by Saturday (a truly important date for me b/c it was my last marching band competition, I wanted to have a playable flute for that ((and I ended up having to use my expensive ass concert flute for that event, anyways))) and that I might not even get it next (this) week because I was low on his priority list.

I probably sound like a brat but -- his daughter? Fucking low on his priority list?

He gave me a hard time when I said I should be at least second on the list, and because I’m a little shit I just took it with a tight smile and an “okay, see you next weekend, love you too, bye.”

And like -- god, he’s been doing this shit for my entire life. I guess it just took until now for me to finally see it. To say the least he’s very poor at keeping his word with me.

(Once my mom said we could go to the movies together to see Spiderman: Homecoming. She promised me we would go. Come the day of, we were running on a bit of a tight schedule due to unforeseen circumstances, and even though I told her that it was alright and we didn’t have to go see the movie, she still took us to see it because she promised. She made time for a basically three hour outing (four, I think, we may have went out to eat) because she promised me that we would go see that movie.) 

((My dad’s never done anything like that. Once, when I was younger, he asked what I wanted, probably something for a birthday or Christmas or whatever, and I said I wanted to spend a day with him, just he and I, so we had one meal together at a restaurant and he took me back home. And me, being myself, I just ate that time up because I didn’t have any other times that I could say were ours, just ours. It’s... kinda sad.))

Every single time he doesn’t keep his word I get all broken up and just completely break down, full out sobs and all that jazz, because? Why? It’s the same thing that keeps happening. 

I’ve been making excuses for him for years, years, my entire life. I’ve been forgiving him over and over.

Because he’s not all bad. He’s really not. (And I don’t mean it sarcastically, at least I don’t think I do, cause I’m not too sure anymore) He buys me the things I want on the appropriate dates, as in holidays and birthdays. He bought me a PS4 with the help of my brother, and he bought me FFXV (also with the help of my brother) and the like. The things I wanted in that moment, if it’s close enough to a holiday, he’ll buy.

It’s the wants, but he never participates in the needs. Never, not once.

You know, when I was younger he would always say no whenever I asked to do something with my friends on the weekends? (There’s one particularly terrible experience that happened when I dared to have an outing with my friends on a Friday without letting him know) Did you know it got to the point where my friends just stopped asking if I wanted to hang out because they knew the answer would be no? 

Do you know how much that hurts?

One of my best friends (we’re estranged now) was having a birthday party for herself, and she was debating on asking me because she knew the answer would be no and she just figured that it would be better if I didn’t know about it in the first place. 

I’ll never forget the look that she gave me, the pure hesitance in her whole being, when she finally told me about the party.

You know I only hear about parties second-hand now? So much time was spent, “Did you go to so-and-so’s party?” 

“I didn’t even know so-and-so was having a party... how was it?”

“Ah... it was fun.”

“That’s good.”

It fucking hurts.

But does my dad care? No. (Sometimes I felt like he was doing that on purpose, just to make it easier on himself in the long run, not having to hassle, trying to cart me around to everyone’s birthday parties.)

But all that was a tangent. 

I don’t think my dad knows where I want to go to college, and I frankly don’t think he cares so long as he doesn’t have to pay anything.

(My reasons for believing that? I told him a while back ((he probably doesn’t remember)) that I was going to apply to both Queens University of Charlotte and Duke University. I want to go to Queens more badly ((which requires more work on my part because I’m basically in a one-income household, so scholarships)). Duke has this financial plan where, if your family makes less than a certain amount of money yearly, the school will cover a certain amount of the tuition. At the current income level and their need-based aid, my mom wouldn’t have to pay anything because my education would be completely covered by the school. Queens has no such plan as that... but it’s my preferred school, for reasons I won’t list at the moment. When I told him these things, he basically told me to “just get into Duke,” because then he won’t have to pay anything.)

Like I said, the big things, he just doesn’t want to be involved in.

He doesn’t help my mom make payments on my car, at all. He doesn’t help with school fees, at all. (I have a fun story about that one) 

When I got my permit to drive, we went driving exactly three times together (once when I first got it, and then twice when I was about to take my test for my license so he could help me parallel park). And after I got it, he called me “driving partner” ...and then hasn’t let me behind the wheel since.

My dad’s never taken off of work to support me. I’m always second place. (As a foil, my mom has taken off of work plenty of times to support me, and then worked extra to make up for it, all for me ((and bills, of course)))

I send my dad a schedule of the football games for this season, basically every time he can come see the marching band perform the show at half-time, and does he come? Not to one game. Not at all. 

I didn’t tell him about competition this weekend because (after much coercing) he’s going to the game next weekend, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to get him to do something like this for two weekends in a row.

(And he told me he might not even stay to watch the show, depending on his work hours.)

When he picks me up to drive me to his house on Fridays, he won’t speak to me unless I speak first. He doesn’t ask me how my week was, nothing. The drive is just an hour of fucking silence (because he doesn’t turn the radio on with me in the car), if I don’t talk first.

He once had to pick up some food so he had a lunch for work that evening. So, with me in the car, he stopped by Chick-fil-a. (Note, I hadn’t eaten anything that day, but I hadn’t told him that.) He didn’t ask me if I wanted anything, didn’t ask me if I had eaten, didn’t even look at me. About twenty minutes down the road later, with me having to hold his food in my freaking lap because there was nowhere else to put it, he asks me if I was hungry. And when I say yes, he tells me about the leftovers in the fridge.

He makes me feel like such a nuisance whenever I even think about asking for something outside of the prompted times (again, holidays and birthdays).

I hate it so much. 

And then he feels like he can still think he plays some huge part in my life when he’ll barely speak to me when we do get to see each other. 

It’s like I, as a person, don’t even matter. It’s like all he wants is the final product of a “good daughter,” but not actually put in the work of being a father. (I once got a 96 or so on a test, and was very proud of it, but when I told him, his response was, “Why didn’t you get a 100?” I stopped telling him about my grades after that.)

If my school is doing a fundraiser and I ask him to buy something, no matter how politely I put it, he’ll tell me no. A random ass kid from the neighborhood can come to the door selling bottles of water and he’ll rush to get his wallet.

I just don’t get it. ...is it me?

But anyways... so yeah. My dad, as a parent, does the bare minimum.

To relate this all back to Final Fantasy XV as per this blog, I imagine Prompto’s parents were much the same as my dad.

They were never around. They never actually took care of him like parents should. He came home to an empty house most of the time.

And presumably they sent money, because Prompto ate fast food a lot but surely didn’t have a job, to at least show that they care a little bit.

They don’t want him to die.

So it’s the bare minimum... and Prompto, like me, just takes what he can because there’s so little, and makes excuses for the rest. 

And knowing Prompto (especially with how he reacted to having to kill Verstael), if his parents died in the fall of Insomnia, he would be torn to pieces by it. And he might be asked why, because they were never around in the first place, and Prompto can’t explain it well (neither can I, for that matter) but there’s just something about his parents dying that’s just... killing him, too, even if they weren’t the best parents... they were still his parents. 

When I was having a sobbing fit at the game immediately after the whole flute thing with my father (aka a basic thing of “am I just worthless to him?”), my friend said something to me that really stuck with me. 

“You can’t choose your blood, but you can choose your family.”

And it’s not her own quote (she said as much) but it’s still true.

My dad’s related to me, and I probably love him because of that, because... he’s my dad. How can I not, even when he does make me angry sometimes?

I made my family elsewhere. I have amazing friends that support me, and I have my mom, and I have my section in the marching band and I have you guys, here on Tumblr and everyone I’ve talked to in the past that’s still with me now... I have a family. They may not all be blood, but they’re my family.

Prompto did the same thing with Noctis, Ignis, and Gladio. His parents may have been his “blood,” but he made his own family with the people that really cared about him. He chose his family.

So yeah, I don’t really know how to end this -- this was a little raw with emotion and I know I’m most likely just screaming into the void, but it’s... it’s nice to get some of it out, you know? This probably isn’t cohesive at all.... sigh.

It’s 2:30 AM now. I need sleep.