#boiling turtles

[debb987]

This update is fire is the best summary for it 🥹🥹 just AKSJSH read it, read it and weep 🤧🤧🤧

"if I gave into the sheer power of my fear...the bonds of gravity would snap and I'd fly away" -Claudia Gray

This update is fire🔥

teb au by @alicat54c

the eldest brother by @debb987

[tundrakatiebeanart]

Missing that serotonin high of getting a good work sticker on your multiplication tables or just looking for a little treat to reward yourself? Check out some of the encouraging reminder stickers in my shop!

Every order in August gets a bonus little sleepy cow sticker!

[blluespirit]

The other day I saw someone say that Jet would beat Zuko’s ass effortlessly in a sword fight, to which I say - does the epic fight in the tea shop mean nothing to you? They literally could not be more evenly matched 😭😭

[loservilleinspace]

i think fnaf turtles would be funny. teenage mutant animatronic turtles.

[sroloc--elbisivni]

2003 TMNT AU ficlet

should i explain this? probably. can i explain this? nooooot really. i will just content warn for implied past sex slavery and say that i think it's fun when raph is at the mercy of aliens.

Traximus was no poet but he thought it was a perfect metaphor for the old regime that even after overthrowing Zanramon, there was an entire suite in his chambers he couldn’t enter because every time he did the alien concubine inside tried to kill him. 

He couldn’t blame the creature. Zanramon had not been shy about his enjoyment of his recent favorite. Said recent favorite had not been shy about his hatred of Zanramon, which at this point likely extended to Triceratons in general.

The staff was keeping the alien fed, and the suite was designed for long term confinement (Traximus really couldn’t blame the creature for trying to kill him), and too many other things were going wrong for Traximus to prioritize communicating with an extremely uncooperative person who was safe if not content. So every morning Traximus did a quick set of stretches, ate breakfast, tried to talk to the imprisoned concubine, failed to talk to the imprisoned concubine, fought off the concubine going for his throat, took away whatever weapon the concubine had improvised this time if necessary, and locked the door again. Then, having made absolutely no progress and smarting in new and interesting places, Traximus went off to spend his day trying to overhaul a former fascist dictatorship into a functional government. 

He thought this was also, unfortunately, a perfect metaphor for the old regime.

Traximus, facing the gold-washed steel door yet again, reminded himself that he had spent ten years of his life working against Zanramon until he had succeeded. He could spend another morning trying to get this stranger to talk to him. Braced for a hit, he opened the door. 

There was no immediate attack, but he didn’t drop his guard. Sometimes the concubine hid and ambushed him. 

Kneeling on the floor in a full kowtow…was new. Traximus hadn’t known he knew how to do that. 

“Imperial Radiance,” the concubine grated out. "This one is blessed to have the...favor of your presence."

[imagionationstation]

I think most of ya’ll just about completely missed the entire point of that lesson in “Turtle Temper”

You know that Splinter was trying to prove that “You let yourself get angy and distracted during battle and you gonna die”, right??

This wasn’t no therapy. This wasn’t about his anger as a whole. This wasn’t to tell him, “You get angy and you suck for that”.

This was- “You get angy, and you get distracted, and that could get you killed.”

Yeah, Splinter let his brothers insult him, but how else is he going to get mad by getting insulted if he’s not insulted? How is he gonna learn “baddies are gonna be rude, you gotta ignore them”??

Sure, he had them shoot those rubber arrows to help prove this point- would you rather him have used actual arrows to get his point across???

Now THAT would have been extreme!

“Anger is self-destructive.”

“I always thought anger was others destructive…”

“Raphael!”

Plus, Splinter was probably trying to get that lesson through his head so that he doesn’t get his brothers into trouble or beat up the guy! The same guy who’s probably going to throw around more insults when they go get the video back from him!

Seriously- a guy shows up to a hospital beaten up with some video possibly saved to iCloud of mutant turtles fighting like ninjas? (No, he’s probably not smart enough to save it somewhere secure, but there’s no real way for them to know this.)

After watching that, People will take Vic seriously if he says a mutant turtle beat him up, and the brothers will be branded as evil human-hating mutants that need to be hunted down!

Of course Splinter wants to encourage Raph away from assaulting the dude! Any good dad would!

There are actual moments where Splinter has heart-to-hearts with Raph about his emotions and how they impact the team. Advice that Raph needs and is looking for. Advice that his son listens to and implements because he does want to do better and Splinter does understand!

THAT MOMENT is NOT one of them, and I HATE watching it be branded as such!

Stop branding these good bois as evil- THEY SO GOOD AND THEY LOVE THEIR FAMILY GOSH DARN IT-

[kasumingo]

Eugh, speaking of Angel Dust, any discussion about sexualizing SA rub me the wrong way, because how are you even supposed to show SEXUAL trauma in a desexualized way? You can but that doesn't show the reality of it and what some victims would want to tell you?

It's also a blow to hypersexuals which from what I've seen AD is exactly that. Victims of SA don't owe you anything, especially sex repulsion and boiling it down to bad representation is just not it

Also it's not "your" trauma. It's a character with trauma that is similar to yours that you might relate or not. It's not your trauma that gets sexualized. It's not your trauma that's misrepresented. You need to realize that. Only you can present your trauma in a way that encapsulates what you went through and how you want to talk about it. If you want representation you relate to, you have to write it yourself.

[talaricula]

Baby smurf rolled onto his back for the first time yesterday! Multiple times! He does always start crying the second he lands on his back, prompting both grandfathers to remark that that is a normal reaction since he is a turtle just like mom.

[grimalkinmessor]

THE WAY THAT MATSULIGHT. THE WA Y THAT LIGHT TO MATSUDA. THE WAY THAT FIVE-YEAR-ERA MATSULIIIIIIGHT—

[noirgasmweetheart]

Okay you hard-boiled turtle-slappers, let's do this one last time!

My name is Peter Lorre Parker.

I was bit by a radioactive crawling hand.

...and for the last 80 years, I have been the one and despised Spider-Noir!

I'm pretty sure you know the rest.

I wacked a couple of Nazis and webbed their Letters of Transit. I was arrested for disrupting a cafe by busting out my slick Emo moves. (Hey I don't pick the ballroom, I just dance!)

My best friend Rick Osbourne wouldn't help me when I was getting man-handled by coppers.

Pretty hardcore origin story!

I found out that I deactivate if someone covers my mouth. Must be some evolutionary spidey-impulse like the "scruff reflex" in kittens.

...or maybe they just used chloroform. It's all kinda' hazy.

I like to drink egg creams, and I like to punch Nazis. A lot.

I'm often crippled by the moral ambiguity of my violent actions, and driven to madness by strangely toned cubes.

Look I'm a Looney Tune, maggot, ceiling lamp, suicide fish, puppet zombie and blueberry breakfast cereal. And a fucked-up chihuahua. But even after all the unflattering cartoons and physical abuse, I still love being Spider-Noir. Because no matter how many times the corrupt coppers or mobsters snag me, I always manage to slink out of their grasp and leave a trail of maimed lounge-lizards behind me.

Poor devils.

[tmntkiseki]

Do we have anyone else who does largely prefer the Fast Forward style to the original 2003 style or is that just me?

[ceruleanterrapin]

what’s your favorite type of water to put on the stove

-shitting anon

Uh... tap water?

[sir-adamus]

I swear people who complained Vol 9 is a filler are the same people who complained Team RWBY not getting much character focus and development (especially Ruby)

there's no satisfying some people (and i guarantee 'focus and development' would probably have only meant 'directly fighting the bad guys for 9 episodes straight and getting ridiculous shonen anime upgrades that come out of nowhere')

[bambiraptorx]

Okay that was great but the only thing I can think is "You really hit him with the dad beam, didn't you?"

-🔮🕸

There's just something so funny to me about hitting Draxum with the dad beam. These are his creations, made for war and violence and slaughter, and he was attached from the very start. Baron "I'm not a dad" Draxum mentally adopted these kids within a few days of making them, and it took him four years to figure that out.

Would he be a good parent? Debatable. He never intended to end up with kids, and keeping then essentially isolated from society until he officially got the adoption certificates was... certainly a choice. (He did it out of concern, of course, but the concern about them being taken from him overwhelmed the concern about how isolation might impact their development.) There's also the matter that I tend to write him with a degree of internalized ableism about his neurodivergence, and when your children are all neurodivergent that causes issues.

Also, putting four war machines into a regular school setting and expecting them to just be able to act like normal kids, especially when they don't even have a context for how normal kids act, is gonna create problems. Just because he thinks his kids are brilliant doesn't mean they don't get noisy and disruptive in a class setting or that they can sit still for more than five minutes at a time. I think he would hold them to pretty high standards for their educations, but they were made for war, not academic success. I think he would end up training them how to fight just to give them something demanding and high energy to do.

Not to mention that there is the slight issue that his kids actually believe that they were adopted since he never told them the truth about creating them (and it made sense to him at the time, they would have been too young to understand at first, and then later when they had to interact with people but hadn't learned to filter their words it would have raised too many questions).

So long story short, there's several fun points of conflict with this au that I would explore if I do more with it. And hey, I've already written a 2k fic about it so I might do more.

[mushroom-through-the-stargate]

a pet peeve of mine in cartoons is when they have turtles leave their shells

this is not physically possible. their shells are part of their bodies and cannot be removed

[leonardovibes]

Is it okay to microwave coffee I personally don't see a problem with it. Like you make the water in the microwaves it's just warm water then you add the Coffee It's THE SAME THING AS BOILING... IT DOESN'T EVEN TASTE DIFFERENT!