[The Proposal AU] The Bachelorette Party
Previous Chapter: The Babymaker Blanket
I told @valeriianz I imagined Corinthian being the stripper character in this AU, and this is me having no self-control because I just started writing about it as soon as I said it. 😂 (Also tagging @voukkake because this AU is inspired by her art. 😊)
The song playing at Dream's bach party is Pony by Ginuwine because it's the most stripper-y song I could think of rn 🤷♀️
CW: Stripper Corinthian, strictly hobsexual Dream, tabletop games, and as a treat, seductive Dream (towards Hob) 😏
"Bye, Hob!" Jo calls as she drags a very confused Dream behind her. "We're going to see Cori for Dream's bach party!"
Dream hears a crash from the kitchen as Hob rushes towards them, still holding a potato peeler, looking wild-eyed and frantic. "You're going to see Corinthian? For Dream's bach party?"
"That's literally what I just said," Jo says as she starts to put on her shoes. Dream just stands between them, baffled at Jo's flippancy while Hob looks increasingly apprehensive. "You gone deaf or something?"
"Absolutely not," Hob says. "Dream--"
"--is allowed to have a bach party organized for him even when you declined to have your own," Jo continues. "And besides! I wanna get some calamari from The New Inn after. We'll be back soon." She glances at Dream and smiles innocently. "Or maybe it's just me and Gran who will be back soon."
Dream turns to Hob. "Corinthian?"
"He's a part-time stripper," Hob says.
"A very sexy one," Jo adds. "He might make you rethink marrying my brother, actually."
Dream doesn't know who this Corinthian fellow is, but he definitely, definitely thinks he's not going to cheat on Hob with him. Even if he and Hob aren't actually a real couple.
"I doubt it," Dream says to Jo. "I am quite set on marrying your brother." To Hob, he says, "I will be back soon, my love. Do you wish for me to get you anything while we're out?"
"No," Hob says. There's an intense look in his eyes that Dream doesn't know how to decipher. "I don't need anything else. I just want you to come back home to me."
Dream...doesn't quite know how to handle that, but he's pretty sure the tips of his ears are getting redder by the second.
Jo makes a retching sound. "Both of you are disgusting, but I'm still taking Dream to his own bach party. Now come on! Even Gran is already there!"
"I'll see you soon, love," Hob tells him, and leans forward to place a gentle kiss on his cheek. His eyes are dark, and more than once Dream sees him glancing down towards his lips.
He nods mutely, wishing he had the courage to reciprocate--for pretend purposes, of course, since Jo is considered part of the audience they're trying to sell their romance to--but in the end, he does nothing and just puts on his shoes before turning around to follow Jo out of the house.
--
Corinthian, it turns out, is the flirty waiter from the welcome party.
"I thought you were a waiter," Dream says as Corinthian slowly stalks towards where he's sitting in the middle of the stage, sexily taking his shirt off. Around them, people (mostly the women of the town) started hooting and hollering as Corinthian's muscled upper body is revealed, and he bodyrolls a little to the music, one hand on the backrest of Dream's chair.
"I can be anything you want, dreamboat," Corinthian says huskily. Dream cringes at the nickname, but allows Corinthian to dance nearer. "No? Too on the nose?"
"Quite," Dream says. "Do you really have to do this entire routine?"
Corinthian shrugs, but even that looks seductive when paired with his half-lidded eyes. "It pays the bills better than being a part-time waiter."
Dream sighs as Corinthian starts grinding and humping the air in front of his face. Dream understands that he must endure this for the sake of wedding traditions, but the music playing over the speakers irritates him, with the hook sounding like someone saying 'bleugh' over and over again.
"This doesn't do anything for you?" Corinthian asks. When Dream shakes his head, he chuckles but still very professionally continues his routine. Dream blanches as Corinthian moves his pelvis closer to Dream's face--still not making physical contact, but definitely too close for comfort. "A pity. 'Cause, not gonna lie, dreamboat, you're pretty cute."
Dream lifts his left hand where Hob's fake engagement ring sits prettily on his ring finger.
Corinthian just lifts both his hands up in a peaceful gesture, then starts unbuttoning his trousers and swaying side to side, his long legs straddling Dream's thighs. More hoots and cheers as Corinthian unzips and teasingly runs the tips of his fingers over his bulge.
"Noted," he says, as the song keeps 'bleugh'-ing in the background. "But feel free to spank me anyway. It'll get me extra tips for the night."
Dream doesn't like the way Corinthian winked when he said the word 'tips,' but what he says next is even worse. "And hey, I promise I'll try my best not to cum when you do. Your fingers look so pretty I want to choke on them."
"This is sexual harassment," Dream says futilely as, with a single rip of the fabric, Corinthian tears his trousers off completely and throws the ruined clothing towards the crowd, where Grandma Johanna successfully catches it one-handed.
"Spank me," Corinthian says to Dream as he starts to gyrate in front of his face again, this time while running his hands over his abs and pecs. "Before they inevitably peer-pressure you to do it."
"What?"
Right on cue, a large beefy guy in the crowd yells, "Spank him!"
"Smack his ass!" an old lady's voice adds. Dream recognizes it as Grandma Johanna's friend Betty's voice.
"Give him a proper lap dance, Cori!" Jo shouts.
Corinthian helpfully turns around and bends over, looking over his shoulder coquettishly as he gives Dream quite the view of his toned legs and shapely buttocks. His black thong doesn't really leave much to the imagination, especially when he's bent over like this. "Go on, dreamboat," Cori says, smiling widely and lasciviously. "It's a show. But if it makes it easier for you, spank me like how Hob spanks you."
And. Of course, Dream thinks. Of course it's a show. This entire trip is a show, and he's supposed to be acting like his life depends on it. Because it does. His life--everything he built for himself away from his toxic parents, depends on how well he acts like the beloved fiancee of this small town's golden boy.
Dream imagines Hob, with his lazy morning smiles, and his strong arms, and his capable manner in the workplace. If Hob ever spanks him, it would be because of something Dream had done. Something unforgivably naughty. If Hob ever spanks him in a sexual way, it would be like--
Dream lifts his dominant hand and strikes Corinthian's ass like how he imagines Hob would spank him if he had been a brat all day. It's easy to imagine, because Dream often feels like a brat, especially when he orders Hob around unnecessarily, asking him to get complicated coffee orders and making him work overtime even when Dream is fairly sure he can get the work done by himself. It's just, Hob is so competent and amazing at what he does, and surely two heads are better than one. And if Hob sometimes unbuttons his cuffs and rolls his shirt sleeves up, exposing his forearms--
The sound echoes throughout the room, and Corinthian's small moan of "oh fuck," and "Daddy," is lost as the crowd goes absolutely wild.
--
"Hey," Hob says as Dream enters his bedroom. He's sitting on the bed with his back against the headboard, open book held in one hand. He doesn't look like he has made much progress. "Welcome back."
"You shouldn't have stayed up," Dream says as he looks at the wall clock pointedly. It shows that it's well past midnight. He and Jo just got back, with Grandma Johanna returning hours before they did.
Jo had dragged him over to The New Inn to get her calamari and, as luck would have it, it turns out that tonight is game night at the inn--a fact that Johanna definitely knows--and Dream was roped into playing Cards Against Humanity and half a dozen other tabletop games with names like Carcassone, which was probably inspired by the French city with the same name, and Tsuro, which means 'route' in Japanese.
(Jo called him a nerd when he took out his phone to get the English translation of the game's name.)
(And yes, apparently, Corinthian also part-times at The New Inn during game nights, where he becomes the DM to a group playing Dungeons and Dragons. Dream was mortified when Corinthian saunters up to him and leans over to whisper in his ear, "Fancy seeing you here at my other workplace, Daddy Dreamboat.")
(He's pretty sure Jo and everyone at their table heard everything.)
"Yeah, well," Hob says, which isn't much of an answer at all. "How was your party?" he asks, when Dream takes off his coat and hangs it on a coat hook behind the door.
"Exhausting," Dream replies honestly. He didn't think Jo would have that much energy in her body, but apparently, he was wrong. She must have drank more than ten cups of coffee before they went out today.
"Yeah?" Hob says, his voice sounding strangely tight.
"Yes," Dream says. "Your sister has too much energy and the appetite of a blue whale. She must have eaten three family-sized plates of calamari by herself, and beat me thoroughly at Sheriff of Nottingham. It's a pity The New Inn doesn't have Scrabble, or I would have decimated everyone at the table."
"Oh," Hob says, and now he sounds relieved. Dream is too tired to parse out what the tone of his voice meant at the moment, but he will definitely be examining it at a later time. "Yeah, no. I can't beat Jo at Sheriff of Nottingham either. She always knows when I have contraband cards."
Dream huffs a laugh as he goes to the ensuite, keeping the door cracked open a little as he changes his clothes and does his nightly routines. "I managed to smuggle golden apples past her tonight, and she accused me of trying to start a war, which was very nice of her."
"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself," Hob says from the bedroom. "Game nights at The New Inn are really fun."
Dream hums and starts washing his face. "I saw a game that looked promising on the shelves, but the owner wouldn't take it down for us to play because Jo already borrowed too many."
"What was the game?"
"Betrayal at House on the Hill."
Hob laughs a full-bellied laugh at that, and the Dream in the mirror blushes and ducks his head at the sound. "Of course it's Betrayal," Hob says. "Remind me to bring you to the New Inn next game night, and I'll play with you."
Dream's hand pauses as he applies his night cream on his face. He knows Hob meant 'I'll play with you' in an innocent way, but the note of warm laughter in his voice made the chill from Dream's bones melt entirely.
It's a sensation he did not feel even when Corinthian explicitly told him he wanted to choke on his fingers while dirty dancing in front of him.
He hurries to finish his nightly routines.
"So?" Hob asks, when Dream had been quiet for too long. "You interested?"
He is, but perhaps not in playing the horror-themed game they're currently talking about. Still, he says, "Yes," and is glad that his voice does not shake, even when his hands do as he arranges the creams and serums in his travel toiletry bag. "The game looks very intriguing."
"If you like that, then I think you'll love the other dark or horror-themed games available at The New Inn. Like Nemesis, which is...a lot, or Gloom, which I think you'll win every time. Or, hey, maybe they still have Unspeakable Words. It's not quite Scrabble, but Jo will agree to play because she adores the little Cthulhu minis."
Dream re-enters the bedroom just then, clad in Hob's old university shirt and his own side split shorts, and watches as Hob's Adam's apple bob as he takes him in. "Will you play with me?"
Hob blinks and his eyes lift from looking at Dream's legs to his face. "Wha--huh?"
Dream smiles. "All the games you mentioned," he says, then crawls into bed--not seductively, he doesn't think he can quite manage that, but slower than usual. More intentional. "Will you play all of them with me? Teach me all the rules and go easy on me?"
"Yeah," Hob says, and shifts a little to make more space for Dream on the bed. Or perhaps to shift the fall of the blankets over his covered lower half. Dream unconsciously licks his lips. "I'll...yeah."
"Then I'm looking forward to it," Dream says. Then, with the courage he lacked earlier that evening, he leans closer and kisses Hob's cheek. "Good night, Hob," he says, lips brushing against Hob's stubble, their breaths mingling together.
"Good night," Hob replies belatedly, when Dream is already lying in bed and has turned on his side so he's facing the windows. He turns off the lamp on his side of the bed and says in the dark, "Sweet Dream."
Dream smiles and subtly nuzzles against his pillow--Hob's pillow, which smells like Hob, and pretends that he's actually resting his head against Hob's strong chest.
He falls asleep with a small smile on his face.
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and now, because I’m always fashionably late and it’s been stuck in my head all day —
least to most likely to dance to “Hot to Go”in public
Maxi - does not dance in public unless he has the very specific context of being tipsy enough and crowd cover or you’re being threatened into ballroom dancing by They Who Decide. definitely breaking it down in the embalming room when he thinks no one is watching though, is somehow pretty good at body-rolling in layers of PPE. occasionally accidentally compels a decedent or two on his prep table to lift their arms in vague letter-shapes when he gets too into it. sometimes they get stuck that way and he has to massage their limbs so they’ll actually fit in the casket.
Rora - absolutely snapping clapping and touching her toes in your kitchen with you in the middle of the night, or your bedroom when the two of you are getting ready for an evening out. doesn’t so much in public, but you swear a couple of times you see her miming the letters close to her shoulders when someone’s playing it near her taxidermy booth at the Greymoon farmer’s market. is already working on a little tableaux of mice in some of Chappell Roan’s previous outfits. might be training her army of tiny rodent skeleton spies to surprise you with a flash mob for your birthday. people still like flash mobs, right?
Hex - man is doing the letters while he’s driving with both hands off the wheel, much to your laughing terror. he’s bodyrolling on the street corner while you’re both waiting for the light to change. he’s touching his toes while the two of you are shopping for groceries. where is this man not dancing to Hot to Go? he will take you to the cemetery one night when the fireflies are still everywhere, just to show you he taught a few over-enthusiastic ghosts to do it too. they don’t quite get all the steps, but they’ve got the spir—[gunshot]
Tie: Seth and Leon - The song comes on in a crowded bar on a Friday night (very possibly his own bar, in Leon’s case), and they’re the first one on the floor. Their enthusiasm is downright infectious some might even say… compulsory, and whether people were dancing before or not, they definitely are now. soon everyone in the room is joining in, and they’re still right there at the front, leading the charge. their moves are smooth, their smile is electric (and… suspiciously pointy, just in different places), and you can’t help but dance along. they’re both positively magnetic. even when the playlist rolls into the next song, people stay on the floor and dance along to the new beat, and the next, until the night disappears in a fog of constant motion and an undercurrent of distant, manic laughter. you don’t remember much when you wake up in the morning next to one or the other, except that you had fun… you think. maybe a little too much fun, based on how tired you still feel.
(if you’re with Leon, he’ll guiltily kiss the bite on your neck before he slides from your bed, tiptoeing around the sunbeam splashed across the floor to go turn on your coffee pot. you can’t be too mad about how flushed his skin looks, you think as you watch him go. it makes you happy to see him well-fed. if he got some bonus sips off the crowd, then they just got what they paid for, going to a vampire bar. you two have discussed this part of your relationship in depth, it’s fine. there’s feeding, and then there’s Feeding, and you nourish his soul more than anything else. as much as he argues he doesn’t have one.)
(if you’re with Seth, he’ll coo at you about how tired you look and kiss your temple, mumbling something about how he’s keeping you up too late. you wave him off even as you’re yawning still, and you cuddle him as you start to doze off again. you don’t really notice that his hair somehow seems darker, his eyes brighter, than when he picked you up to go out last night. he does, though, and takes his time admiring himself in your mirror as he absently strokes your hair. he’d feel a little bad taking it out of you like this, if it didn’t make him look so good.)
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