#bobs burgers text posts

[drawthethingdoppelganger]

Muppets shit post

[fallenspirit]

this is one of the best scenes in bob’s burgers and nobody can convince me otherwise

[eeclare]

[pointycorgiears]

*Shanks and Mihawk, watching Buggy doing something stupid in the distance*

Shanks (teasing): You love him!

Mihawk: Stop.

Shanks: You do! You love him!

Mihawk: Shut up.

Shanks: You're gonna have all his babies!

Mihawk: You are this close to losing your other arm...

[riddler-apologist]

*dumps these in your lap*

[arrestedexgirlfriendafterhigh]

They were made for this dialogue

[ordinaryschmuck]

At Jimmy Pesto’s Pizzeria, Trev puts up a “Closed Indefinitely “ sign up on the window. He then runs away crying.

Across the street, Linda and Teddy are watching the whole thing from inside the restaurant.

Linda: I can’t believe Jimmy Pesto got arrested. Serves the bastard right for helping organize that raid against the mayor’s office. Who hates the mayor? He’s great. Those bunch of freaks, hating the mayor.

Teddy looks to the kitchen window, hearing Bob whistle as he grills.

Teddy: Eh, I bet you’re happy, Bobby! With there being no more Jimmy Pesto and all.

Linda: Oh, don’t even get this guy started. They arrested Jimmy right across from us last night and I haven’t seen Bob happier since the kids were born.

Bob: Oh, come on, Lynn. I like to think that I had a quiet dignity to it.

Linda: You kidding? You and the kids went friggin nuts.

Flashback to last night. Jimmy is being led to a police car just as Bob sticks his head out of his home window.

Bob: Hey, Jimmy! How’s it feel knowing YOU will be out of business first?!

Jimmy just grunts, not acknowledging Bob.

Bob: What’s wrong?! No ZOOM?! Oh, that’s right! You’re too busy ZOOMING yourself to jail!

Louise pushes Bob out of the way.

Louise: Dad, please. Let a pro handle this.

She sticks her head out the window too.

Louise: Hey, Jimmy! If you’re lucky, you’ll be made the cafeteria cook! Your cooking should taste about the same as prison food!

Bob: Haha! THAT’S my little girl!

He scoops Louise up and kisses her cheek. She pretends to hate it.

Bob: I am so PROUD of you! You’re getting ice cream tonight!

Louise: Yes!

Gene: I want ice cream too!

He comes up to the window too.

Gene: Hey, Jimmy! Just a reminder that you got to poop in your jail cell! So get ready for people to see your Italian sausage!

Bob: Yes! Gene! I mean, DON’T ever say that again, but YEAH! You get ice cream too, pal!

Gene: Yeah!

Tina comes up to the window now.

Tina: Hey, Jimmy Pesto…You’re the worst!

Bob: Ha! He IS the worst!

Louise: And you’re a terrible father!

Gene: And LOVER! I assume!

Bob: Gene.

Tina: The best thing you made was Jimmy Jr!

Louise: And that’s not saying much!

Tina: Wait, what?

Bob: Oh, my god, I love my kids! You ALL get ice cream!

The kids: Yay!

Gene: Italian sausage!

Bob: Gene!

Flash forward back to the restaurant.

Bob: Okay, so I might have lost a bit more of my mind than I thought. But who cares? Lynn, it’s Jimmy Pesto! He’s gone for good! The nightmare’s over and we’ve WON!

Linda: Wha? What did we win?

Bob: We won at LIFE!

Linda: Oh, yeah.

Bob: WE’RE the ones with a successful—Well, GOOD business, a happy marriage, and great kids! Meanwhile, JIMMY is sitting his stupid butt in jail, his business is going to drizzle out of business—

Teddy, trying to match Bob’s energy: And his kids are going to be super traumatized!

Bob: What?

Linda: Oh god.

Teddy: Haha! Like, first their parents got divorced, which is a, uh, a thing that scares kids!

Bob: Teddy.

Teddy: And now their dad’s in jail! Never to see him in a normal environment again!

Linda: Aw…

Bob: Teddy, you just—

Teddy: What?

Bob: You’ve ruined the mood.

Teddy: What? No, I didn’t.

Bob: You did.

Linda: Yeah, you did, Hon.

Teddy: I was following your energy!

Bob: That wasn’t the energy.

Teddy: I was following your energy, Bob!

Bob: Celebrating traumatized kids isn’t the energy, Teddy!

Teddy: Bah!

Bob: YOU bah!

Linda: You DO gotta feel a LITTLE bad for the Pesto kids.

Bob: Well, yes, obviously. Because unlike TEDDY—

Teddy: YOUR energy, Bob.

Bob: I DON’T want kids to be traumatized. It’s not their fault that they’re Jimmy’s kids. But for Jimmy himself? SCREW him! It’s the end of an era! The JIMMY era! Now, it’s the start of the BOB era! And it starts with THIS!

He then runs outside.

Bob: Hey, everybody! In celebration of the greatest thing, EVER, Bob’s Burgers is now fifteen percent off of EVERYTHING!

Random Passerby: What’s Bob’s Burgers?

Bob: It’s—My restaurant. It’s right behind me!

Random Passerby: Oh, the across from Jimmy Pesto’s. Hey, do you know when HIS restaurant will open again?

Bob: Oh, my GOD!

[drawthething]

Gene's fear of being alone probably peaks after watching horror movies. Like silence'd intimidate him so much he'd turn the TV on maximum volume while banging on a frying pan playing his keyboard like a nut. Or he'd call Bob & Linda being like: "Mom, I don't know if you're having your 15th mini croissant or not but I'm half way through The Exorcist right now and Ken's not picking up my call I THINK YOU SHOULD COME HOME- "

[chopper-and-ap5]

Zeb: Ezra's gonna be okay. I made him a PB&J. He said he didn’t want it, so I ate it. He was still sad, so I made him another PB&J. He didn’t want that one either, so I ate it. Anyway, Ezra wants to be alone for a while and we’re out of peanut butter.

[noelle-the-sleepy]

Bobs burgers swap au where the belcher's and pesto's swap places!. like Bob and Linda swap with Jimmy and Trev, tina swaps with Jimmy Jr ect

[drawthethingdoppelganger]

Muppets pt.2

[fallenspirit]

i can't stop laughing at linda screaming "he's dead! go away, he’s dead!"

[yahoo201027]

Unrelated to the show and the latest episode, but remind me why the fuck does I see porn bot after porn bot with malicious links invading the tag? Like, what is going on? I feel like since the tag trended back in October with the airing of "The Amazing Rudy" is where the bots are coming into the attack. @support, you gotta resolve this and get rid of these bots, both in the Bob's Burgers tag, no matter how you add that ' onto the tag, and everywhere else.

Don't know why, but I feel like whoever trended it should be jumped. Okay, I kid, but the bot thing needs to stop. Also fuck you, Elon Musk. Had to say it because all the bullshit he pull out on Twitter that caused an exodus of people leaving the site would result in bots following everyone to which social media site they're joining.

[eeclare]

a few more

[blindinghope]

there needs to be a study done on why i can't go one day without watching bobs burgers like sometimes the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning is playing an episode i've seen 30 times and i am suddenly filled with joy and a will to live

[golden--doodler]

Okay, so @br1ghtestlight made a post recently (you don’t understand how long I spent trying to find it actually losing my mind that I couldn’t) proposing an idea for a Christmas ep It’s A Wonderful Life parody centering around Teddy, and how it could even reveal how Bob and Linda met Teddy in the first place.

And I adore that idea so much. I’ve never even seen the og film, but I know people will automatically say an It’s A Wonderful Life parody is cliché, which is true, but I think that idea is lovely and could absolutely work. Also, sometimes there’s just something comforting about clichés.

That being said, I’d like to propose that same idea, but…

With Gene :D

Yup, that’s right, I have to bring everything back to Gene all over again. I can’t stop thinking about him.

It’s actually an issue.

But just imagine the absolute angst potential. And then the absolute joy when he realizes how much his family truly cares about him and does need him.

Also want this in retaliation for all of the Gene nay-sayers (looking at you, Reddit). Look, having your own opinion is valid. And if someone doesn’t like Gene for valid reasons and isn’t mean about it, that’s totally fine. He doesn’t gel with everyone.

But just saying, completely out of nowhere and unprovoked, that he adds nothing and should be killed off?? (Yes, I am never letting that go). I also saw a video just earlier tonight where someone (won’t say who for privacy’s sake) compared him to Chris Griffin?? I mean, I haven’t really seen any Family Guy, but I assume that’s not a good thing based on people’s reactions (thankfully, most people in the comments defended Gene). And, even though this was clearly meant to be a joke this still bothered me a ton, said “No one likes Gene. If you like Gene, I don’t like you. I actually dislike you as a person.”

Not the worst part, though. They also made jokes about killing off Gene and muting him and just editing him out of the video and other things like that, like COME ON. I understand if you don’t gel with him as a character and that these were all just jokes for the video, but just—those comments just made me ☹️

Anyway, I want to make that episode happen to help some people soften up towards Gene. He’s so baby he doesn’t deserve the slander 😭

I did see another reaction video where “Gene is my early favorite” was in the title, and that healed me a bit.

I need to put in a cute Gene screenshot to make me feel happier: