#boatem inc

[hmshermitcraft]

(Poly Boatem, for the theme!)

Mumbo is a humble potato farmer. Grian is a harpy who lives in a nearby cave. Scar is a traveling salesman who didn’t plan to stay as long as he has. Impulse runs a sweet shop which may or may not be magical. Pearl—IDK what Pearl does I haven’t watched her S8 yet.

By chance, all five of them had settled near the same definitely-not-dangerous hole to the Void. But they weren’t all dating at first: Grian, Scar, and Mumbo were a polycule, while Impulse and Pearl started dating shortly after she arrived.

Introduction were had, friends were made. Since they hung out so much, it seemed only natural the five would form closer relationships—and eventually a bigger polycule.

Oh, and also a company. They did that too.

Boatem Inc. may be a series of market stalls for now, but one day Mumbo, Scar, Grian, Pearl and Impulse want to open up a real shop! Mumbo still doesn’t know how he got picked as the CEO—he was busy harvesting when they decided that!

-💫🌠Anon

They have a ways to go first. Impulse needs to come up with a chocolate formula that isn't poisonous, Grian needs to stop threatening people at the market into buying from them, Scar needs to stop reselling things from other people's stalls!

But they believe in each other. They're going to make it happen!

[mumbo-jumbo-facts]

MUMBO JUMBO FACT #14

Mumbo Killsalot Jumbo is the CEO of Boatem inc. (information may be outdated in about 12 episodes)

[potionofinstantdamage]

Boatem Inc.

Mumbo Jumbo: Born with a silver spoon in his mouth, Mumbo is the pampered - and miserable - heir to the legacy of Boatem Inc., gifted with uncanny technological talents and the ability to take on the appearances of others, so long as he’s had a taste of their blood first. Fortunately for Boatem’s rivals, he’s often far too much of a pushover to use this gift to any degree of significance.

Grian D. Xelqua: Mumbo’s friend from childhood, Grian has twice the business sense - and well past twice the confidence - of his monochrome counterpart. The strings behind Mumbo’s puppet, he leads Boatem with a cunning and vicious taste for victory. Watch out for him; he has eyes all over the city.

Pearl Moon: Loyal member of Boatem Inc., Pearl is the muscle, in a sense. She can manipulate the forces of gravity to a localized extent, and uses this ability generously - and creatively! Just don’t get on her bad side and you’ll be fine. Probably. She didn’t exactly choose this life, but hell if she’s not going to have some fun with it.

Impulse S. V.: Loyal member of Boatem Inc. A friendly guy - sometimes too friendly for his own good - Impulse is the face of PR, as it were; he manages the civilian side of things. He also makes a mean cocktail. Gifted with unnatural strength, his pursuits may see odd to some, but Boatem will assure you that he’s exactly where he’s meant to be.

[kayawolfhorse]

Can’t believe Grian held a meeting between a group of hermits that live together around a (recently created) central hole, amongst whom is Scar and Impulse, to discuss a large group building project, during which Mumbo is absent and Scar suggests sacrificing people to said hole, only to become the first sacrifice himself. Died 2021 born 2024 welcome back Boatem Inc

[riacte]

in an alternate universe, the early 2020 hc7 jungle neighbours (inc ren) took off the same way boatem did and it would be my roman empire

[lunar-writes-things]

20) The Moon

"Hey Grian, Mumbo?" Y/n asked, catching their attention "Does the moon seem... Bigger to you?" 

"huh- No?" Grian said and squinted at the moon 

"Maybe?" Mumbo muttered, "Has it always looked this close?" 

"I don't think so," Y/n said "Does no one pay attention to the moon?" 

"I don't," Grian shrugged "I'm spending a lot of time in the alley trying to finish it off." 

"Same with me," Mumbo said before he paused and went "Except, not the alley. I'm working on my mountain." 

"Oh you mean the chair?" Y/n asked and tilted their head while Grian laughed 

"I thought it looked like an among us character when he laid down the red line to mark out his build." He said wings flapping with joy 

"Oh yeah laugh at my build," Mumbo rolled his eyes "At least I didn't go for a Percy Jackson or harry potter type of build." 

"HEY!" Grian and Y/n exclaimed at the same time and looked at each other for a glace before simultaneously agreeing 

"GET HIM!" Grian exclaimed playfully and mumbo turned around so fast before flying away

Grian and Mumbo's laughs echoed through the air and Y/n felt their heart swell. 

Had they really been so lucky as to gain the affections of not one but all of the people closest to them? 

Did they deserve it?

Even if they didn't, Y/n would do everything in their power to show them the love they wished they were shown. 

For now, however, they had to catch a pesky Mumbo who made fun of their builds. A large grin spread on their face as they joined Grian in the chase as Mumbo screeched out. At first, their chase just circled around Boatem but soon Mumbo moved on to Ren and Doc's base and then around the entire island. It was fun. Laughing and teasing and chasing each other when the blame got switched. It drew Y/n away from their thoughts of not being enough. of not really thinking that they deserved them. It reminded them that they fell in love wth not just a single person that didn't value them, but multiple people who adored every breath they took and worshipped the ground they walked on.

and oh...

it felt so glorious to be loved endlessly by their friends... by their significant others.

When they caught Mumbo, it was nearing daybreak soon so the trio decided to head home and away from big eye inc. They ended up heading home and went to work on their bases while Y/n went to her home to sleep the night away. 

When Y/n strode up they had no idea what to expect when Pearl asked her to come over the next night but they certainly didn't expect to see Pearl with blankets in her arms and a picnic basket hooked onto their elbow. 

"I thought you said you needed help?" Y/n asked softly and took the blankets from her arms 

"Well, no." Pearl said "That was a lie. I just wanted you to myself for a bit."

"All you had to do was ask Dewdrop," Y/n bumped their shoulder into Pearl's "What's all this for then?"

Y/n lifted their arms a bit to show off the covers and pillows and Pearl grinned 

"That, My Love, is so we can go star gazing." Pearl said and jutted their hand towards Y/n, palm up, an offering "Stuff them in your inventory and Let me lead you to a place of wonder."

My Love

goodness the fact that those words made Y/n want to melt was probably really bad but they couldn't help the goofy smile that spread across their face as their hand gently touched Pearl's 

"Sweep me off of my feet," Y/n murmured and that she did 

Pearl wrapped an arm around Y/n's waist and pulled them close. Y/n laughed as Pearl fumbled with their rockets before taking off with the both of them, their giggles and laughs echoing through the air as Pearl flew them to the place she found. 

It was beautiful. It was on a cliff a few thousand feet from Boatem but it was covered in grassy fields and flowers and bits of freshly fallen snow with the stars shining brightly above and The moon looking a bit bigger than usual

"It's beautiful," Y/n trailed off, their voice barely above a whisper as their hands went to pull out the blankets 

"I know it's not much for a first date, if your even okay calling it that but-" Pearl started 

"Wait first date?!" Y/n exclaimed, "had I known I would have dressed up better!" 

Pearl's laugh snapped Y/n out of their would-be rambling and she gripped their hands gently, grounding Y/n before they could even float off. 

"I know," Pearl said and with a soft smile, they continued, "That's Why I didn't tell you. I want you to be you around me. I fell for everything you are and who you stand for. I want you to be wholly and exceptionally you. I don't want a dressed-up fancy version of you so you can paint a picture in my eyes. You already have, and I'm in love with it. I'm in love with you." 

Y/n couldn't remember the last time someone was truly in love with her. It felt nice, it felt like she was truly wanted, it felt... terrifying. 

"What if I'm not enough?" They asked softly only for Pearl to cup their face and mutter 

"You will always be enough for us and nothing could ever change that." Soft kisses were pressed to Y/n's face from their forehead to their chin all avoiding one spot

their lips 

Y/n knew there could be no way to thank pearl for attempting to take it slow so Y/n was comfortable. Not a lot of people were willing to do that for someone they were interested in. The fact that they were so patient and accepting and they haven't acted like anything had changed made Y/n feel at ease. Nothing and everything was the same. 

Chills went through Y/n's body as pearl pressed her forehead to Y/n's 

"Nothing will change on how we look and feel about you." Her calloused hands held Y/n's and brought them up to her lips and pressed a gentle kiss "I can promise you that. We are all so very deeply in love with you, more than you can even begin to imagine. Even if you don't believe this now, even if you don't ever believe this, we will continue to love you. We will never stop loving you, My darling Sunshine." 

Y/n wanted to cry. Pearl's words washed every single bit of doubt that was left in their mind. One of Pearl's hands went to cup Y/n's face and They couldn't help but nuzzle their face into her hand. 

"Thank you, Dewdrop," Y/n whispered and pulled both her hands from Pearl and caressed their face "You have no idea how much that calms me. I might clam up if I think I mess up but just knowing you and the guys don't hate me for anything I've done- It... It helps a lot. More than you can even know." 

"Now, Cheer up baby," Pearl said and pressed a kiss to Y/n's nose "I planned a date for us to be happy and because I love your gorgeous face soooo much!"

"You flatter me," Y/n covered their face with their hands as Pearl grabbed their shoulder and dragged them to the blanket so they could sit down and quietly talk 

The moon shone brightly over the two, illuminating their smiles and reflecting the stars in their eyes as they looked like they painted the Galaxy by hand. And to Pearl, maybe Y/n did. 

But to Y/n, Pearl was a moth with a silver tongue. Someone who was able to calm fried nerves with a simple word. Y/n would have been terrified of it honestly 

but with Pearl, they couldn't help but allow her to do anything she wanted because they trusted her with their life

and that terrified Y/n even more because the last time they did that they ended up in a war and cheated on 

but she wasn't him

Y/n knew that 

So maybe it was time to let go of the past and allow themselves to heal

It wasn't their fault that their boyfriend was an asshole who didn't love them. 

Y/n knew it was time for change and for the first time in years, they glowed at the idea of letting go of all the guilt, hurt and overall hatred of their past. 

It was time for a new phase of their life. 

one where they could trust their friends and partners around them. 

Masterlist

[stiffyck]

hello hello! this is the third time ive tried to make this coherent so. it might not be that but oh well

i imagine that, after scar gets help for his trauma, he starts to realise just how touch starved hes been this whole time because like. he was on his own for years, of course hes gonna want a hug

but, he has been on his own for years, and so he isnt quite sure how to ask for a hug. of course, he knows that he can just say it but. what if they think its weird? he hopes that someone will just hug him without him having to ask, but everyone is being annoyingly considerate and doesn’t want to make him upset by doing something he might not want (he’s not actually annoyed, he loves them all to bits but if they would stop being so nice for ten seconds-)

however! whilst most of the hermits have the general fact of scar’s trauma at the forefront of their minds, as they were the ones to help him, a couple new arrivals don’t always remember

so, of course, when you make a village like boatem with: - everyone so close together, you swing a cat (or boatem inc. company horse) and you’re bound to hit someone - two siblings who seem to be physically attached to someone at any given moment, and are not as familiar with scar’s trauma as the rest of them -two people who are very happy to have said siblings attached to them -and scar himself, who is frankly hoping he is attached to at some point

you’re bound to have an instance like this

scar hums to himself as he bonemeals the ground outside his swaggon. he wonders how it would go if he started to search for more rare flowers—he’s sure the only orange flower can’t be the tulip. maybe he could find some kind of orange poppy, or- ooh! maybe he could find some tiger lilies! although they are poisonous to cats, so-

“hi scar!”

scar yelps, dropping his pile of bonemeal on the floor. the dandelion he drops it on swells massively in size.

before he has time to register this, a heavy weight lands on his back, arms wrapping around his shoulders and legs around his waist. scar freezes. it’s grian. grian is on him. grian is..

grian is hugging him.

slightly embarrassingly, scar starts to tear up. grian seems to notice, and immediately his grip slackens.

“oh- shit, scar, i’m so sorry-“ he jumps off, and makes to step backwards. “I should have thought-“

“could-“ scar turns quickly, he doesn’t want grian to leave. “um. could you do that again?”

grian blinks. “are you sure? I don’t want you to do something you don’t want to.”

“no, no that’s- that’s not it.” scar steps towards him, nervous. “I, um. I just haven’t had a hug in a while.” he admits, smiling sheepishly. “I wasn’t sure how to ask.”

“oh, scar.” grian’s mouth splits into a relieved grin. “do you want me to hug you?”

“yes please.” scar says.

what scar learns: grian gives good hugs. he pulls scar in and holds him tight and close, and scar feels so warm and happy and safe. he presses his face into grian’s sweater, grinning like an idiot, wishing he’d asked sooner, because this is possibly the best thing he’s ever felt.

“g,”

“yeah.”

“there’s an issue.”

“are you okay?” grian tries to pull away but scar keeps him close, and he laughs.

“i’m not gonna be able to work on the swaggon.” scar says. “‘cause I just wanna do this forever.”

scar gets hugs he deserves it

CRYING WAILING THIS IS SO GOOD OH MY GOD SO FUCKING CUTE IM GONNA PASS AWAY SCAR GOT HIS HUG

[tallassredwood]

Mumbo K. Jumbo, former CEO of Boatem inc. says BUY AT BIG RON’S!!!!

first official art post 💪

[ao3feed-crimeboys]

icebreakers

by thesleepiestboy

"Can you skate?" Short answer, yes. But Tommy had seen the employee handbook, he’d seen that employees who could skate would be called out to skate guard during public skates, and Tommy didn’t want to go out on the ice in skates, like, ever again. And certainly not in his skates (an old pair, sitting in the back of his car, that miraculously still fit), or the rentals (he’d be better off in sneakers, rental skates were shit.)

But if he were to explain all of that, it’d be far too long, and honestly would bring up several questions that Tommy didn't want to give the answers to. Especially to a borderline stranger.

So the true short answer, no. But that was a lie.

__________

Tommy used to be a talented figure skater. One of the best. But due to a disastrous competition (and an upheaval in his home life), he quit. Now he’s back at the rink that practically raised him, but this time he's an employee. Ft. Tommy getting adopted into the SBI, bench trio committing crimes, and whatever chaos Boatem Inc and the empires crew have going on.

Words: 2424, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Dream SMP, Hermitcraft SMP, Empires SMP

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen

Characters: TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot, Toby Smith | Tubbo, Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Phil Watson | Philza, Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Scott Major | Smajor1995, Charles | Grian, Pearl | PearlescentMoon, all of boatem actually but mostly those two, Sam | Awesamdude

Relationships: Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, they all work at a skating rink, Figure Skater TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Figure Skater Wilbur Soot, Trans TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Light Angst, this is mostly shenanigans, Hurt/Comfort, i have both figure skated and i work at an ice rink so i (mostly) know what i'm talking about, crimesboys go from enemies to brothers, philza is speedrunning adopting people, no beta we die like new skaters falling on the ice after an ice cut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added

[redcodedart]

Boatem :]

Hopefully the resolution isn’t crap once this is posted D: I really like it this turned out :o

[seawaveleo]

mumbo is sustainable

[hmshermitcraft]

Big scary void monster Grian ask, but it's just boatem gaslighting the hermits into thinking nothing's there because they worried grian will be feared. "What? You saw 12 eyes in the forest looking at you? That's crazy, Gem! That doesn't happen!" "X, truly, there's nothing in boatem- promise! No, you didn't watch a "13' monster" eat an enderman almost-whole, i think you need to sleep more, mister!" Boatem Inc. Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss.

related ask

It's a comedy. Half of Boatem are terrible liars to begin with (nobody's buying Impulse's bright red cheeks when he stammers that 'no, there's totally nothing in the dark, no way!') So they're just absolutely blagging it.

It helps that Grian is a menace and fully on-board. He's been hiding himself for years, he's an expert! However, it also doesn't help that he's a menace and that includes causing problems on purpose. It's not his fault it's so fun to hide in the big eye crew's cave and scare them! Have they heard those three scream?

So it's only a matter of time until Grian gets caught out in a way that's a bit hard to explain away. It turns out that no, the hermits don't care that Grian isn't quite a normal player! They are going to get revenge for all the times he's scared them, though.

[beebadoobeebap]

loving how in everyone’s timelapses every few seconds theres just. a slight camera jitter as an earthquake occurs its so funny

[kiwinatorwaffles]

BUY AT BOATEM TOWN! DON’T MIND THE LAG!

[sntsnflwr]

Finally invested in Hermitcraft (which is either the best of worse decision I’ve made) so here’s the lovely Boatem Crew!!!

[alico-cat]

Those Boatems sure do Incorporated huh? [Individual fullbodies under the cut]