#blunt and to the point.... open desire and a wish of a future with me.... wearing a crop top... what else could i want

[martyrbat]

lois lane the autistic woman you are... <3

[imgeekgirlfan]

The Curse of Cassandra [EP : VI]

Read in Ao3 : here

Pairings:  Qimir x f!reader(SEA Reader)  [The Acolyte]

Content waring : 18+ smut/nsfw, manipulation, fingering, p in v, virgnity loss, unprotected sex, creampie (Just asking for a friend: Do the Bene Gesserit need a condom?🤔)

tags/themes : Alternate Universe - Dune & Star wars, Partners in Crime, Strangers to Lovers

Summary: On your twentieth birthday, after spending nearly three years with Qimir, you finally decide to reveal your secret to him. And from that moment, your relationship with him will never be the same again.

Status: finished writing this fic! (It will end in Episode 14)

A/N : As mentioned, This fan fiction mixes elements from two universes, so some details might not match canon perfectly. I’ve made adjustments but will try to keep key canon elements intact. I hope you read this for enjoyment, not to nitpick details.

ps. Writing smut in English is rather demanding for me. I hope you can forgive any mistakes in this EP. I’ve done my best 😭

➡  Intro // EP : 1 // EP : 2 // EP : 3 // EP : 4 // EP : 5 // EP : 7 // EP : 8 // EP : 9 // EP : 10 // EP : 11 // EP : 12 // EP : 13 // EP : 14 (Completed)

Special OS : Phantom Thread

[Episodes 6] Four things cannot be hidden—love, smoke, a pillar of fire and a man striding across the open bled.

On your twentieth birthday, after spending three years with Qimir, you finally decide to reveal your secret to him.

There is no point in hiding it any longer, especially after he has already seen something he shouldn’t have on that ship. Besides, you no longer wish to conceal it. That near-death experience has changed your perspective—not just on your own feelings but also on the visions that have surfaced from deep within your subconscious. Through the fog of time, you sense profound changes—both in the future paths and in the bond between you and him.

A bond you never wanted to form. Feelings you wish to deny. But no matter how hard you try, in the end, you can’t escape it.

Sometimes, fate has a strange way of twisting things—you can’t help but think that when you recall your first meeting. You hated Qimir with all the intensity of your feelings. You couldn’t stand him. There were moments you even plotted his death, planning to flee far away. But who would have thought that three years later, you’d find yourself lying in his arms on a small bed in a rundown hotel near the Starports on Olega, far removed from the bloody events on Tatooine.

You are uncertain if it can even be called love. But one thing is certain: Qimir's presence changes your life forever. He changes you. You change him. And you have no idea if it is for better or worse.

Resting your head on Qimir's chest, you let his large hand caress your back. It's strange how safe you feel with him, despite having witnessed him kill so many people.

But it's not just you who feels this way. Qimir doesn't seem to fear you either. His words are blunt and direct when he finally asks about what he's seen. "I saw what you did—you control people with just your words," Qimir says. "What exactly are you? A member of some witch's coven?"

He turns on his side, wrapping his arm around your shoulder, holding you close as if to comfort you from the terrifying events that have unfolded earlier. Yet at the same time, it is clear he intends to keep you there, preventing you from leaving until you answer his question honestly.

You know Qimir’s intent, but do not push back. You remain silent for a moment before replying.

"It is an ancient technique passed down by my people," you confess, feeling as though you are revealing a terrible sin to some forgotten god. "We use our voice to command others, bending their will to our desires." You pause before adding, "And no, I am not part of any witch’s coven. My mother said those covens are nothing but lowly imitators, trying to replicate what we truly are."

"Your people? What do you mean?" Qimir frowns, curiosity gleaming in his eyes.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath. A wave of unease washes over you as you realize that the moment of truth is finally upon you.

“I am Bene Gesserit.”

Bene Gesserit—those words, foreign to most in this age, are known only to a select few who have studied ancient history.

According to old records, before the rise of the Jedi Order, the Bene Gesserit was a powerful religious order that held great power throughout the galaxy, known as the Sisterhood. They only accepted women deemed worthy into their ranks.

It is said that the Bene Gesserit were the true originators of the Force, passing down their teachings through generations. The Bene Gesserit sisters possessed mysterious powers and physical capabilities far beyond the reach of ordinary people. They could neutralize poisons within their own bodies, control others with the power of the voice, and train their minds and bodies to heights that defied natural limits. Some could even glimpse into the future with an eerie sense of prophecy, though only fragments of what was to come—except for the Reverend Mothers who led the order. They alone held the power to peer through the memories of their ancestors, journeying through the past, present, and distant future.

And it was this obsession with the visions they received that drove their beliefs. The Bene Gesserit were convinced that the universe was heading toward destruction, haunted by the prospect of a terrible future. Their only solution was to guide human evolution to its pinnacle through meticulous breeding programs that spanned generations. They strengthened their power by sending their sisters to marry and breed with the ruling houses of various planets, integrating themselves into the political and religious structures, and influencing every layer of society, from the lowest to the highest ranks—all for one ultimate goal: the creation of the Kwisatz Haderach, a superior human who transcended all others.

Yet ironically, it was the Kwisatz Haderach himself who brought about the very doom of the universe, which the Bene Gesserit had feared and attempted to avoid all along.

The Bene Gesserit succeeded in creating the Kwisatz Haderach as intended, but they utterly failed to control him. Paul Atreides, the only son of Duke Leto Atreides and Lady Jessica of the Atreides, a Bene Gesserit sister, became a religious icon before he reached twenty. He was revered as the Lisan al Gaib—Voice from the Outer World—and was worshiped as a godhead. He led the Fremen, the ancient people of Arrakis, in a jihad that spread across the galaxy. Tens of millions perished in the holy war, and hundreds of millions more during the tyrannical rule of the Kwisatz Haderach’s own son.

Eventually, the Kwisatz Haderach's dynasty was annihilated by the vengeful masses, and the universe slowly began to heal, giving rise to numerous new sects, including the Jedi Order.

The Bene Gesserit were said to have vanished during this time, and rumors of their demise were widespread. Some claimed that the Kwisatz Haderach, driven by his hatred for the Sisterhood, had eradicated them entirely, while others believed they were blamed for the jihad and were hunted down by the vengeful populace.

Regardless of the cause, the true reason for the destruction of the Bene Gesserit was their overwhelming power and the mysterious goals they pursued. It was decided that the Bene Gesserit witches should no longer exist in the universe, as no one wanted to risk the emergence of a second Kwisatz Haderach.

For thousands of years, you have been the last Bene Gesserit. Although your skills and powers are far weaker than those of your ancestors due to a lack of proper training, you still surpass both Jedi and Sith. Your power is the source of the Force they wield—an ancient power that none can fully replicate unless they are also Bene Gesserit.

“I am not only a Bene Gesserit; I am also a Fremen,” you reveal, deciding to share another layer of your secret with him. You point to your deep blue eyes, the eyes of Ibad, the distinct mark of your ancient race, now long extinct along with the Bene Gesserit. “My Fremen name is Hara[1], a name known only to my mother."

You are surprised at yourself for disclosing your Fremen name to him. For the Fremen, a tribal name carries deep meaning and significance, given only to those who can be trusted completely.

However, you feel a sense of relief after finally speaking, though it's not complete. There are still secrets you haven’t shared with him, but revealing this much is already more than enough. You trust Qimir, but you are unsure how much of this truth he can truly accept. Deep down, you are terrified he might see you as a monster, shun you, or worse, decide to eliminate you like others might. Your very existence might be too dangerous to allow you to survive.

But Qimir says nothing. He appears deep in thought, his expression unreadable. You can’t discern his feelings, and the silence grows unbearable. Finally, you ask, 'Do you fear me now that you know who I am?'"

As the words leave your mouth, you bite your lip unconsciously while waiting for his reply, worry gnawing at you. How strange it is to be afraid of his rejection more than your own death."

"Fear?" Qimir tilts his head, puzzled by your question for a moment. Seeing your distressed expression, he quickly grasps your concern. "I have no reason to fear you," he says, stepping closer to place a gentle kiss on your forehead, then the tip of your nose. "I do not fear you," he emphasizes, sealing his words with a firm kiss on your lips.

You let Qimir kiss you a little longer. When he finally gives you a chance to catch your breath, you ask, 'Even though I am dangerous?' Your voice is barely a whisper, filled with uncertainty.

Everything feels too perfect and too smooth, and instead of providing reassurance, it only makes you feel more uneasy.

Qimir smiles widely, almost as if he wants to laugh but is holding it back. "Oh, in that case, it’s me you should fear more." He teases, his tone playful, as he resumes kissing you. Not on your lips, but now on your ear, nibbling playfully, while one of his hands moves up to your breast, caressing and teasing your nipple through the fabric with his thumb.

Your eyes widen as you realize what is about to happen. You grab Qimir’s arm, quickly halting his mischievous actions before things can go any further. “Qimir,” you call out his name, your heart pounding, your voice faltering with each shaky breath.

Qimir stops immediately, pulling back slightly to look into your eyes. You see the clear reflection of desire in his dark eyes. “Don’t want to?” he asks, his voice carrying a hint of pleading, though the playful smirk at the corner of his mouth suggests something more sly, as if he knows every thought in your mind without reading it, knowing that you won’t refuse.

His knowing demeanor makes you feel annoyed, but there is little you can do. In a situation like this, you are at a disadvantage in nearly every way.

“Well, I…” You try to speak but hesitate for a moment, your cheeks burning hot as if set aflame. You don’t know how to explain it to him without making yourself feel even more embarrassed. “I don’t know how... I’ve never... you understand, right?”

That isn’t entirely true. Even though you have never been intimate with anyone, you aren’t that naive. As a Bene Gesserit, you can see the past through ancestral memories, which sometimes bring you glimpses of things you shouldn’t see, intruding into your dreams. But dreams and reality are entirely different. You feel out of place, unsure of what to do, like someone who has read extensively but fails when it comes to practical application.

Qimir lets out a clear laugh, his sly smile shifting to one of genuine amusement, making you blush even more. Before you can protest, he seizes the moment and silences you with a kiss.

This time, though, it feels different.

Never before has a kiss between you two felt so deep and intense. His lips and tongue are sharp and distinct as they invade, filled with a potent desire that permeates every touch, burning with unwavering purpose, as if he wants to touch the very core of your being, reaching the true self you have never revealed to anyone.

When he finally pulls back, he doesn’t move far. His mouth lingers on your lips, and his hands gently cradle your cheeks. “Relax, don’t be afraid,” Qimir whispers, his lips trailing to your neck, feeling the rapid pulse beneath your skin, then moving down to your chest. “I told you before, you don’t need to hide yourself when you’re with me.” His voice is soft, almost dreamlike, but every touch is real.

You follow his lead, as if under a spell, letting him undress you without resistance. His large hands roam over every part of your soft skin, planting kisses along the curves of your body, from your shoulders down to your hips, and finally to the inside of your thighs. His dark eyes examine your naked form without looking away, not missing a single detail, taking in every perfection and flaw—nothing hidden, nothing concealed.

“I want you to feel every emotion within you—anger, fear, and desire…” The word ‘desire’ from Qimir’s lips was as sweet as honey. “Embrace who you truly are, what you can be, and what you can do when you’re with me—only with me.”

You flinch as his fingertips brush against your delicate folds before sliding inside you. You can feel every knuckle as he slowly works his way deeper, one finger becoming two, gently stretching you as he allows you to grow accustomed to the sensation. He then begins to move them slowly, his thumb rubbing your bud, massaging every sensitive spot inside and out, sending shivers of unfamiliar pleasure through your body.

Waves of strange, stinging bliss ripple across your skin, making you restless as you writhe in the throes of sharp delight. But his other hand presses firmly on your lower abdomen, forcing you to stay still.

“Be a good girl,” Qimir admonishes, a grin tugging at his lips, clearly enjoying watching you struggle helplessly beneath him.

You moan, burying your face in the pillow, your entire body trembling with the intensity of your climax, making you feel like you are floating in a sea of stars. After catching your breath for a moment, you look up to see Qimir hastily removing his own clothes. His skin is pale, his body sculpted with lean, defined muscles, as beautiful as a statue in a temple. But what sets him apart are the scars, some small, some large, like cracks in marble. Yet these imperfections only make him more striking, unique, and beautiful.

Qimir turns to look at you, fully aware that you have been watching him the entire time. His face softens in the dim light, but his eyes remain dark. You sense the intense longing within them—a desire he’s harbored for a long time. You wonder why you never noticed the fragile restraint in him until now. He seems on the verge of snapping, as if he’s been wound too tight, ready to unravel at any moment.

Qimir wastes no time, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you close until there’s no space left between you and him. His hardness presses firmly against the crevice of your thighs, the heat spreading through your body as his cock gradually sinks into your swollen slit, filling you completely.

A low moan escapes his lips, soft and barely audible. Qimir pauses briefly, giving you a chance to catch your breath and adjust. As he takes a moment to relish the closeness, he revels in the warmth of your tight, slick, silky walls that embrace his length perfectly.

"It might hurt at first, but it’ll get better soon. Just bear with it," he murmurs, his hand gently stroking your hair. He plants a warm kiss on your cheek, trying to comfort you as your face contorts with pain. It feels like he’s about to tear you apart as he pushes in fully. You lock eyes with him in shock as a flood of emotions washes over you—strange, frightening, painful, and thrilling all at once.

Your lips part, letting out a silent moan as Qimir begins to move, thrusting in to the hilt until you can feel every inch of him deep within you. He brushes away a stray lock of black hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear. His lips press a kiss to your sweat-dampened temple as his hips thrust forward, quickening the pace. Your soft inner walls tighten, clenching around him as his tip repeatedly hits your sweet spot.

By now, the pain has subsided, replaced by waves of pleasure building inside you, ready to explode.

Tears stream down your cheeks as you grip Qimir's shoulders as if your life depends on his mercy. Your hips rise to meet his movements, every fiber of your being striving to get closer to him, nearly melding into one.

The rhythm changes slightly, slowing down and becoming less steady but more forceful. You pant heavily, feeling the climax approaching, each movement bringing you closer to the edge of ecstasy.

Just a few more thrusts, and you both reach the peak together. He spills into you, his release filling you up and spilling over. The hot, wet feeling of his cum makes your body shiver and feel dizzy, still unaccustomed to these new sensations.

The room gradually returns to calm. When Qimir pulls away, your body suddenly feels light and empty, like weightless cotton. You drift in the calm afterglow, enveloped in his embrace as he nuzzles you, kisses your cheeks and forehead, and caresses your hair tenderly, just as lovers do."

But there are no words of 'love' from his lips. The last thing you hear from Qimir before slipping into sleep is, 'You’re no longer alone. You belong to me.”

Instead of feeling reassured by these words, a strange unease flickers through your mind, as if you've just stepped onto a path of grave mistake.

Footnotes:

[1] In Fremen culture (as depicted in the film Dune), Fremen names are special names that differ from regular ones, only shared with outsiders when there’s deep trust and acceptance. For example, Chani tells Paul her Fremen name, 'Sihaya,' as a sign of accepting him as a lover. That’s why the reader needs a Fremen name—it’s culturally important (and I certainly WILL NOT USE Y/N as a Fremen name, absolutely no way!). I’ve hinted at this name since EP : I (if you pay attention, you’ll notice it), and it ties into the story, so I hope you're okay with the name I picked.

[canary0]

June 29th - Dracula 2023

Today is the day of my last letter. Time is up.

The Count went down the wall again like a lizard wearing my clothing. A disturbing image, like seeing into the future if I don’t escape. I wish I’d had a gun or something on that I could shoot him right off the wall. Honestly, though, I’m not sure it would even affect him. I didn’t wait for him to come back – after the hypnotism incident the other day, I didn’t want to risk it.

I went back tot he library and read until I fell asleep, instead. I swear, this is the most reading not for work I’ve done in years. Normally that wouldn’t be a bad thing, but it’s just a reminder of how isolated from the world I am. I want nothing more than to take out my phone and check up on everyone’s lives. I think I dreamt about them for a little bit before the Count awoke me, expression grim as a coffin nail.

He said, “To-morrow, my friend, we must part. You return to your beautiful England, I to some work which may have such an end that we may never meet. Your letter home has been dispatched; to-morrow I shall not be here, but all shall be ready for your journey. In the morning come the Szgany, who have some labours of their own here, and also come some Slovaks. When they have gone, my carriage shall come for you, and shall bear you to the Borgo Pass to meet the bus from Bukovina to Bistrita. But I am in hopes that I shall see more of you at Castle Dracula.” Was that the movers I’d seen outside? Either way, the events of the last few days and our interactions absolutely screamed that that was nonsense. Hope springs eternal, though, so I decided to test his sincerity. What an insult to the term.

“Why can’t I leave tonight?” I asked, blunt and to the point.

“Because, dear sir, my coachman and horses are away on a mission."

“Hiking would be good for my health, and I’d like to get home as soon as possible,” I returned evenly. I at least knew the general direction because of the GPS before it was destroyed.

His smile in response was the softest, smoothest expression I’d ever seen, with an edge of evil to it. The whole effect sent a chill down my spine as he spoke. “And your baggage?”

“It’s not that important.” Half of it was missing or destroyed during the course of my stay in this nightmare anyway.

The Count stood up and put on a show of courtesy that would have made him a shoo-in for an Oscar. “You English have a saying which is close to my heart, for its spirit is that which rules our boyars: 'Welcome the coming; speed the parting guest.' Come with me, my dear young friend. Not an hour shall you wait in my house against your will, though sad am I at your going, and that you so suddenly desire it. Come!" With that, we were on our way down to the door with the lamp. Halfway down the stairs he stopped, looked up, and said, “Hark!”

Practically right outside the doors the howling of wolves rose in time with the movement of his hand. Seeing how he commanded them before, I don’t doubt is the exact case. As if he hadn’t just down that, he went down and threw open the bolts and the door itself. The door, it seemed, wasn’t at all locked. Perhaps it was too heavy for me, or perhaps it’s some other effect of his. I don’t know what to believe about what he can do anymore.

The howling and growling of the wolves became louder and angrier, and they leapt at the door, all fangs and claws. I knew that just leaving then would be a certain death sentence. Some part of me felt sorry for the wolves – this is certainly not how they naturally behave, so they were just victims under his control. Like myself, the movers, everyone in his orbit except maybe those weird sisters.

The door kept opening, with only the Count between them and me… literally and figuratively, since he commanded them to come at me as much as he created a barrier between myself and them. I had tried to end the game early, and so it would be valid to end my life with it. Knowing that, I finally shouted, “Shut the door! I’ll wait until morning, it’s fine!” I clenched my fists and looked down as tears stung my eyes.

We returned to the library in silence – his triumphant, I’m sure, though he went ahead of me so I couldn’t see his face. Eventually I returned to my own room. He kissed his hand toward me like someone blowing me a kiss, and that was the last I saw of him. He stared intently with those red eyes as his did, as triumphant as I’d imagined before. He was enjoying this entirely too much. The final act of his little play.

I didn’t know if I could sleep, but I was at least determined to lie down. I needed rest. But I heard whispering at the door. Whispering I knew well.

“Back, back, to your own place! Your time is not yet come. Wait! Have patience! To-night is mine. To-morrow night is yours!" There was a soft laugh – the women from before – and I threw open the door. There they were, licking their lips. At my appearance, they laughed and ran away.

I slammed the door shut, but was left only with emptiness and horror. Tomorrow is the end. I knew that, in a way, after what he said. There was naturally a purpose in keeping me here.

Tonight is his, though, and I have something to fear in the mean time. Whatever he plans to do, I’ll likely be left alive for them in whatever state I’m in.

My eyes went to where I had hung the crucifix from the bed frame. Somehow it was gone. Where, I don’t know.

So I am here. Waiting in silence. All I have is my diary that I should hide before he gets here, and the lamp to comfort me.

Tonight is his, whatever that means. And tomorrow, one way or the other, it ends.

(A/N: It always struck me as weird that Jonathan wasn't freaking out about more stuff in that scene. So... yeah.

I honestly had a lot of fun adapting this section.

Also, hey, check me out getting a post out in a reasonable time frame!)

[etherrreal]

“5:00am”

Pairing: ushijima x reader Genre: fluff Summary: looking back, you’re not sure what made you think that jogging with ushijima would end in anything but complete and utter disaster, but it’s too late to go back now WC: 5k Warnings: brief mentions of non-serious injury, a little blood, implied smut, too many paragraphs about ushijima’s hands A/N: first fic gang! this was supposed to be like 500 words but as the blog title suggests, i’m a liar -Dawn

You’re not sure what possesses you to go jogging with Ushijima at the ungodly hour of 5AM –and on a Saturday, no less– but here you are, tugging a windbreaker over your tank top and leggings while he waits for you by the door.

Most of it, you’re sure, is just because you miss him. The two of you have been so busy lately –you with your new job, him with the whole professional volleyball thing– so this is the first weekend in a while that you’ll actually be spending together.

It’s only natural that you want to spend as much time as possible with your boyfriend before your respective commitments are back to pulling you both in opposite directions, as they have more times than you’d like to admit in the past four months you’ve been dating.

Or maybe 5AM-you, lacking caffeine, sleep, and any sense of real judgment, is just losing your mind.

Ushijima certainly seems to think so, if the look he gives you when you volunteer to accompany him on his routine morning jog is any indication. He’s far from the most expressive person you’ve ever dated, but you’ve been with him long enough to register the surprise on his features; the way his pretty olive eyes widen a fraction and the way he pauses to watch you, like he’s trying to gauge how serious you are.

“What?” you ask as you join him by the door, removing your slippers.

He raises an eyebrow at you. “You hate running.”

“Running? Absolutely. Jogging, however, I think I can handle, especially if it’s with my handsome boyfriend who I haven’t spent nearly enough time with lately.”

With your slippers out of the way, you move to reach for your sneakers next. A quick glance in his direction confirms that he’s still giving you that same bewildered look, a crease forming between his eyebrows. It makes you falter as you pick up your sneakers, wondering if you’ve made a mistake.

Now that you think about it, he does usually jog on his own. The two of you are no strangers to working out together –if him doing push-ups with you perched comfortably on his back counts as working out– but you’ve never actually joined him on a morning run before.

Is this something he prefers to do alone? Are you overstepping his boundaries by inviting yourself along before checking to see if it was okay? Suddenly, you find yourself wishing you would’ve asked first.

“Do you...not want me to go with you? Because if you’d prefer to go alone, that’s totally fine, I’ll just–”

He catches your wrist before you can put your sneakers back down, and the rest of your sentence is lost somewhere between the fingertips he presses against your skin and the other hand he uses to lift yours.

It’s almost criminal, you think, the way a single touch from him is enough to completely derail your train of thought, whatever you were babbling about suddenly the furthest thing from your mind. You think you shouldn’t be as phased by it by now, not after all the time you’ve spent together, but no such luck.

Really, it’s his hands that are the problem, now that you think about it. His hands, steady and calloused and strong, but still so undeniably gentle and patient when it comes to you.

It’s hard to pick your favorite feature of Ushijima’s when he looks the way he does –all tanned skin, broad shoulders, and chiseled abs– but his hands are pretty high up on your list. They have been from the moment you met him at Iwaizumi’s housewarming party last year.

You had obviously seen him before, though you never actually spoke to him until the party. It was mostly during high school volleyball matches between Aoba Johsai and Shiratorizawa, courtesy of your childhood friendship with Oikawa and Iwaizumi.

You remember spotting Ushijima and thinking he looked so serious and unapproachable, even more imposing than he did in the photos of him featured in that Monthly Volleyball magazine you used to watch Oikawa vandalize with ridiculous-looking mustaches and devil horns.

When you saw Ushijima at Iwaizumi’s party, he still looked serious, not to mention larger and even more intimidating in person, but his hands were warm and kinder than you were expecting, careful in the way they wrapped around yours when he introduced himself. It was only hours later when those same hands reached for yours again to help you off the couch that you realized you spent the whole night with him.

Now, months later, you’re standing with him in his stupidly expensive apartment, half-panicked that you might’ve overestimated his desire to spend time with you. But Ushijima’s hands are still steady and warm against your skin, even now, reassuring in a way you don’t think you’ll ever get tired of.

“I’d love it if you joined me,” he says, pressing a soft kiss to the back of your hand, and if you weren’t smiling before, then you definitely are now.

You pull on his hand to tug him down towards you, a request that he silently obliges. You perch on your toes to reach him and deliver a chaste kiss to his lips, smiling against his mouth. When you pull away to look at him, you find him smiling, too, in that soft and subtle way of his that you’re so glad he’s chosen to share with you.

“Just promise me you’ll be careful,” he adds. “We’ll be running for a while, and I don’t want you to get hurt. You’re clumsier than most.”

Sadly, he’s not wrong. You are pretty clumsy, almost cartoonishly so. He’s watched you bang your leg on his dining room table practically every time you pass it, heard you curse to yourself after accidentally knocking down every item in his shower. At this point, holding your arm in his is as natural to him as breathing, just so he’s there to keep you from tripping over your own two feet.

And while you definitely appreciate the concern, you don’t think it’s entirely necessary, at least not for this. Sure, you have a bad habit of falling on your ass more often than not, but you’re also able to do so without sustaining any major injuries. You’re confident this time will be no different.

Besides, it’s just one jog. You’ll survive, even if your muscles might hate you for it later. Still, you know he worries about you, which is why you reach up to give him another quick kiss.

“Deal,” you assure him once you pull away. Then, you grin, voice taking on a more teasing edge as you look up at him. “As long as you promise not to be embarrassed when I leave you in the dust. You know, since I’m just so naturally athletic.”

Ushijima’s never been the best at detecting sarcasm, but with you, like so many other things, it’s different. He can tell you’re joking by the way you giggle and wink at him, and when he huffs out a quiet laugh, you smile and sit down to put on your sneakers.

He surprises you when he kneels to tie them for you before you get the chance to do it yourself.

“Careful, Wakatoshi,” you warn him, not for the first time. “If you keep being so sweet to me, you’ll never be able to get rid of me. You might just be stuck with me forever.”

“That’s fine,” he says, like he’s already considered the consequences before and has chosen to accept them. “You’re the only one I can imagine being with for that long, anyway.”

He moves on to tie the laces on your second sneaker, taking zero responsibility for the way his words make your heart flutter in your chest. He always does this: says stupidly romantic things with barely any prompting and absolutely no consideration or even awareness of the effect they have on you.

His voice doesn’t change when he says them, either. He uses the same blunt tone he always does, like it’s a simple fact, like he’s asking you to pass him his phone charger instead of alluding to a potential future with you.

It just makes you fall that much more in love with him.

Not that you’ve actually told him yet. You’re still waiting for the right moment. You wonder if maybe this might be it, but then he stands up and turns away from you to open the door and the opportunity is gone.

Maybe that’s for the best. This morning, you decide that you can handle jogging with your pro-athlete boyfriend or confessing your love for him, not both. The latter will just have to wait for dinner tonight, assuming you make it back in one piece and your legs don’t just fall off from the sudden exercise.

You stand up and follow him out the door.

Ushijima insists you both take the time to stretch before you actually start running, so you spend a few minutes doing so in the empty lobby. You pretend to struggle with a few of them, just so you’ll have an excuse to have his hands on you.

You’re almost positive he sees through your little ruse, if the amused look he gives you is any indication, but he doesn’t complain, guiding his hands over your body to help you bend and stretch like he can’t see the grin on your face.

Once you’re all warmed up, you’re ready to start jogging. You follow behind him as he leads you along his usual path down the block, the streets noticeably empty, save for the occasional passing car.

You know the only reason you’re able to keep up with him is because he’s slowing down for you, but you don’t let it bother you. He’s a professional athlete, after all, and you’re the kind of person who doesn’t even like to run to catch the bus, so it’s to be expected. Still, you give it your all, remembering to keep your breathing steady just like he taught you.

And you have to admit, your aversion to any sort of cardio aside, jogging with Ushijima is actually kind of fun.

For the first five minutes, at least.

Then it all goes to shit.

You’re not sure how it happens, either. One moment, everything is great. Sure, you’re already feeling a little sweaty, and maybe your lungs are screaming at you just a tiny bit –the price of inactivity, and all that– but you power through it because, in the words of so many great orators before you, mama ain’t raise no bitch.

But then you trip on something –a pothole in the street, your own foot, who the hell knows– and suddenly you’re wiping out for the entire world –or maybe just your boyfriend and that one stray cat you passed, which is still pretty embarrassing– to see.

Ushijima’s quite a few feet ahead of you now, because as much as he tried to slow down for you in the beginning, you figure he just can’t help but speed up a bit. He’s not the type to do anything half-assed, not even a casual morning jog. You’re almost grateful for it in a way, because it means he doesn’t actually see you trip and stumble like a baby deer learning to walk for the first time.

He does, however, hear the yelp that escapes your throat, making him glance over his shoulder just in time to see you fall forward. He runs back towards you, but he’s too far to reach you in time, and your knees hit the pavement hard, your hands shooting out to catch yourself as best as you can.

You don’t even have to look to know that the skin on both your knees and your palms is scraped up. There’s also a shooting pain that starts at your ankle and darts right up your leg, reassuring you that you most definitely stepped on it wrong.

Ushijima is by your side in an instant, normally stoic face scrunched up with worry. He helps you twist yourself into a more comfortable position on the sidewalk, though it does little to ease your embarrassment or your annoyance with your own incoordination.

“I’m okay,” you try to reassure him, but that’s not entirely the truth. Your palms are stinging and your ankle is throbbing, not to mention the fact that your knees currently resemble a cat’s scratching post. “It’s not as bad as it looks.”

The look he gives you is doubtful, and you know for a fact he doesn’t believe you at all. “You’re bleeding.”

And holy crap, you are. It shouldn’t be a surprise to you, since you felt the entire thing, but the sight of the blood on your knees and palms still stuns you a bit.

“Come on.” He wraps his arms around you, pulling you up with ease you would normally marvel at if it didn’t make you feel so pathetic. “We’re going back. I’ll be able to treat your wounds and take a better look at your ankle.”

“Whaa– but we’ve barely even started jogging!” you protest, pouting despite the stinging of your cuts. “I told you that I’m fine, Toshi. I can still walk–”

You try to put pressure on the ankle you rolled and immediately wince. You almost stumble forward again, but this time Ushijima is there to catch you, holding you against him with his arms around your waist.

“No, you can’t. You need to treat your injuries, so stop being stubborn and let me help you. We’re going back.”

You bite the inside of your cheek, eyebrows drawing together in frustration –mostly at yourself– but stubborn as you are, you know he’s right. There’s no arguing your way out of this one, not that he would listen to you in the first place. He’s always been protective of you, which means he won’t be budging on this.

You heave a defeated sigh but nod at him anyway, relenting. He helps you hobble along with your arm around his shoulders and his arm around your waist for a few steps before he seems to think better of it.

In one fluid motion, he’s picking you up in his arms, holding you bridal style against his chest. And while normally his arms are one of your favorite places to be, the fact that he has to carry you like this all because you’re an idiot who can’t watch where you’re going is doing nothing to ease your already damaged pride.

You try to convince him to put you down and let you walk on your own, but unsurprisingly, he doesn’t agree. Your face, which is already warm with embarrassment, just seems to heat up even more. Your mortification only increases when you spot his apartment building a few streets later.

God, the two of you were running for what, maybe five minutes? Six? And now you’re already back home? Talk about embarrassing. And right after you promised him to be careful, too.

The fact that the pothole –which you are now deciding to blame for your fall, because you don’t think your ego can handle anything else– had the audacity to trip you and then not immediately swallow you whole to save you this embarrassment is honestly disrespectful, at this point.

Ushijima was right earlier. You do hate running. And you hate yourself even more for believing that jogging at any hour –least of all 5AM– would end in anything other than complete and utter disaster.

Your only consolation is that it’s so early, chances are that no one else saw you trip and almost eat shit in the middle of the street. It’s the little victories that count, you suppose, though you might just have to burn this outfit later to rid yourself of the reminder. You’re not sure how you’re ever going to live this one down.

Thankfully, the universe seems to take some pity on you, since you don’t pass any of Ushijima’s neighbors in the lobby. He maneuvers you into the apartment, managing to close the door behind him and remove his sneakers without putting you down.

When he does finally let you go, it’s to place you delicately on his bed. He disappears from the room and returns a moment later with a first aid kit and an ice pack, while you flop defeatedly onto your back against his pillows, pouting.

“I can’t believe I actually fell.” You groan, throwing an arm over your eyes. You feel the bed dip beneath his weight as he sits beside you, but you still don’t move. “The one time I willingly decide to run, and this is what happens. We didn’t even make it past the supermarket!”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. It could’ve happened to anyone,” he says, opening the first aid kit. His voice is as straightforward as ever, but you know he’s trying to comfort you in his own way. “Besides, it could’ve been a lot worse.”

“Worse than twisting my ankle and making a fool of myself five minutes in?” You shift to prop yourself up on your elbows and raise an eyebrow at him. “How?”

“You could’ve twisted your ankle and made a fool of yourself two minutes in instead.”

The bluntness of his response makes you snort, cracking a half-smile as you push yourself to sit up fully. “Good point.”

You watch as he gets to work, mesmerized by how careful he is with you. He takes your palms in his hands, wiping away the blood gently and cleaning the small scratches it reveals. The scrapes on your knees, which he moves to next, sting more, but he moves slowly enough that it doesn’t overwhelm you. He’s always taken such good care of you, and this time is no different.

After all of your scrapes are covered, he examines your ankle, which is unsurprisingly the worst of your injuries. When he helps you tug your sneaker and sock off, you can both see it’s already swelling.

It’s not broken, he assures you, but it is lightly sprained. You’ll need to rest and compress it until you’re ready to walk on it again, but the ice should help with the swelling. He lifts your ankle on top of a few pillows to keep it elevated, covering it with the ice pack.

He moves higher up on the bed to sit beside you against the headboard, searching your face for any signs of discomfort. “How does that feel?”

“It still hurts, but it’s not as bad as before,” you answer. “Honestly, I think my pride is more damaged than anything else.”

You lean back against the pillows propped up on his headboard and sigh, unable to stop the guilty frown tugging at your lips. As grateful as you are for his help, you also feel really bad that he had to stop and take care of you at all.

If you hadn’t insisted on joining him on his run, then none of this would’ve happened. You would still have two normal-sized ankles, and he would be able to finish his run without having to worry about you and your chronic clumsiness.

“I’m sorry I ruined our jog,” you find yourself apologizing, fiddling with the hem of your shirt guiltily. “It was supposed to be cute and fun, but all I did was screw it up. I’m sorry you had to come back to take care of me.”

Ushijima shakes his head. “Taking care of you isn’t a burden. There’s no need for you to apologize.”

His hands reach for yours, large enough to engulf your own as he turns them over. His eyes follow the path his fingertips trace lightly over the band-aids covering the scratches on your palms. “If I hadn’t gone on ahead of you–”

You press a hand against his chest to stop him, his eyes flickering back up to meet your own.

As endearing as his concern is, he’s not the one at fault here. You don’t think anyone is, really, except for maybe that damned pothole you may or may not have tripped on. More importantly, you don’t want him to blame himself for this.

“Nuh-uh, nope, none of that. I’m the one who tripped, remember? It’s not your fault I suck at running. Or any kind of physical activity, actually.”

You pause, tilting your head thoughtfully as you mull over your own words. He watches the mischievous smile he’s learned to love appear on your face, hears the teasing edge seeping into your tone as you lower your voice just a bit.

“Except maybe the one that involves you railing me into the mattress,” you add with a smirk, playful and just shameless enough in a way that never fails to draw him in even more. “That one, I don’t mind, for obvious reasons.”

He sighs, though your words don’t surprise him. “I really wish you wouldn’t word it that way.”

“Too late~”

You’re practically singing as you grin at him, grabbing his chin and bringing his face closer to yours.

He mutters something about you having a one track mind, but you don’t miss the amusement in his eyes or the fond little smile he casts in your direction. He doesn’t stop you from pulling him in either, allowing you to rest your other hand on the side of his face.

“Thank you for taking such good care of me, Wakatoshi.”

You meet him halfway for a loving kiss that you hope is enough to express your gratitude, one he doesn’t hesitate to return. When you break apart, he rests his forehead against yours.

And right when you think you can’t possibly love him anymore, he promises quietly, sincerely, “Always.”

As usual, he gives you no time to recover. He kisses you on the forehead and then stands up, announcing that there’s something else he needs to go grab before leaving the room.

Honestly, you’re hoping it’s food. You’re starving, and after all of this morning’s excitement* (see also: trauma), there’s nothing more you want than to cuddle up alongside your boyfriend while enjoying a plate of your favorite breakfast food.

To your surprise –and slight disappointment– when Ushijima returns, it’s not with food or anything else to treat your injuries, but rather with a set of keys. He sits beside you again, opening his palm to offer them to you.

“Well, those aren’t pancakes.” You take the keys anyway, twirling the ring around one of your fingers before raising an eyebrow at him. “Are these what I think they are?”

“The keys to my apartment,” he confirms. “I want you to move in with me.”

Your eyes widen. It’s not the last thing you expected him to ask you when he offered you the keys, but it’s definitely not the first one either.

When he first held them out to you, you thought maybe he was just giving you a copy of your own to hold onto, just in case you ever needed them. You’ve thought about offering him the same a few times before, just so he could let himself into your own apartment whenever he comes over instead of you having to get up and open the door for him.

But that’s not what’s happening here. It looks like Ushijima’s chosen to skip the exchanging apartment keys step entirely in favor of just straight up asking you to move in with him. And while part of you is thrilled by it, your heart hammering in your chest with excitement at the prospect of getting to wake up next to him every day, of getting to come home to him, there’s another part of you that’s wondering if maybe you’re moving too fast.

It’s not that you don’t trust him, or that you doubt how much he cares for you, because you don’t. Your previous partners couldn’t even spell commitment, much less agree to it, but Ushijima’s not like them.

He told you, not too long after the first few times you went out together, that he doesn’t believe in dating casually or wasting his time. If he’s with someone, it’s because he sees a future with them. Hearing that was a bit intimidating at first, but it was also extraordinarily refreshing.

Asking you to move in with him, you know, is just another step towards that future. And while the idea excites you, making you feel more secure and adored than in any of your past relationships, there’s a part of you that’s still a bit hesitant.

After all, what sets you and Ushijima apart –more than your senses of humor, more than your completely different levels of athletic ability, as evidenced by the ice pack and bandages you’re currently sporting– is the fact that you, unlike him, often get caught up in the “what-if’s” of a situation. Whenever you have to make a decision, you psych yourself out by imagining every little thing that could possibly go wrong.

He calls your name, tearing you from your thoughts. He’s looking at you like he already knows what you’re thinking, like he can see the tangle of anxiety you feel nestling into your bones. Maybe that’s why he reaches out to take the hand that’s not holding his keys, lacing your fingers together.

“Are you okay?” he asks. “You haven’t said anything.”

“I know, I know, I’m just...processing.” You give his hand a quick squeeze, moving the keys around in your other palm. “How long have you been thinking about this?”

“Since my last away game.” He answers right away like he doesn’t have to think about it, like he just knows. Not for the first time, you find yourself envying his conviction. “I went straight to your apartment from the airport, and you were already there, waiting. I realized how much I liked the idea of getting to come home to you, and vice versa. I’ve been waiting for the right time to ask you to move in since then.”

“Wakatoshi, that was last month. You’ve known since back then?” You stare at him with wide, wondering eyes, your cheeks already warming at the implication, growing even warmer when he nods. “And you don’t think it’s too soon? You’re not the least bit hesitant about living with me?”

“Hesitation is only necessary for those who are unsure of their desires. I know what I want, and that’s you, if you’ll have me.”

If you’ll have me. He says it like it’s easy. Like he’s already yours, to love and to be loved by.

And he is, you realize. He has been for a while, just like you have. You knew you were in love with him this morning, and you’ve known it for weeks before that, too. You just weren’t sure when or how to bring it up, but now you are.

“I’d like that. I like you– wait, that’s not right.” You release his hand, and he stares at you in confusion, the corner of his mouth curving downward. You’re quick to smooth it away with your thumb, your eyes earnest and full of affection as you correct yourself, “I love you, Wakatoshi.”

The confusion in his eyes quickly transforms into surprise. You’re not sure what stuns him more: your confession itself, or the confident, doubtless way you say it. You smile at him and take his face into your hands, careful to move his keys so they don’t scratch him.

“I’ve known it for a while. I just wasn’t sure when to bring it up, but now I am. I don’t expect you to say it back unless you’re ready, but–”

“I love you,” he says confidently, unwaveringly, and now it’s your turn to be stunned.

You blink, taken aback for a few seconds before your lips begin curving into a goofy smile. “Really?”

He hums affirmatively, and after that you can’t do anything besides kiss him. He’s quick to return the gesture, moving his mouth against yours and winding one arm around your waist to pull you closer. He pulls back from you right when you’re about to deepen the kiss. You try to pout, but it’s hard to do so when you feel as giddy and over the moon as you do now.

“Does this mean you’ll be moving in with me?”

“Of course.” You beam at him. “I’d love to move in with you, Wakatoshi.”

He smiles, his arm moving up to wrap around your shoulders, and your own smile grows brighter as you lean into him, cuddling against his side and resting your head against his chest. Things between you are quiet for a few moments, both of you basking in the comfortable silence.

You’re shifting his keys in your hand when a thought occurs to you, and you can’t help the laugh that escapes your chest.

“So this is why you let me go running with you this morning,” you tease. “You knew that if I did injure myself, that would just make it harder for me to leave, so I’d have no choice but to say yes to moving in. How sneaky of you.”

“You volunteered to join me–”

“I know, Toshi, I’m just kidding.” You grin, tilting your head to look up at him. “So, what do you say we go make some breakfast in your kitchen? I’m starving.”

“Our kitchen now,” he corrects, and your heart flutters in your chest for what must be the tenth time in the hour or so you’ve been awake this morning. It can’t be healthy for you. “And I’ll be the one making breakfast. You stay here and rest that ankle.”

He kisses your forehead and stands up to head into the kitchen. You frown at the loss of his warmth, but another look at the keys in your hand has you smiling again.

Maybe jogging isn’t so bad after all.

Written by: Dawn

[starshipsofstarlord]

Sheer | Kai Parker

Warnings; SMUT, ANGST, and FLUFF, mentions of death, mourning, loss, mentions of murder, trauma, swearing, unprotected sex,

A/N; sorta made up a whole storyline for this imagine, may be a teeny bit different and may have gotten a little carried away, please enjoy loves

It would not uphold, the weather held a grudge against you as you trudged through the pouring rain, cursing you for thinking that you would be safe on your lonesome.

Instead of a monster, the world wished for you to drown in its falling rivers, making you shiver down to the bone. It was too cold, but you had to go there, it was a ritual.

Since the death of your boyfriend, Aaron, who was killed by Damon, someone you thought to be a friend, you felt broken.

You had tried everything to bring him back, but without the power of a witch, it was deemed impossible, and Bonnie refused to help you, claiming that it was necromancy, and far from her beliefs.

It angered you, how everybody would dismiss the lost lives that Damon took. He got a free pass, he didn’t even regret his own invalid actions.

He was a monster, and you hated him. If you couldn’t bring Aaron back, then you would instead kill his murderer. That would not only give you a sense of revenge, but also make the world a safer place. There would be one less vampire making people’s lives a misery.

“Hi there.” You stopped in your tracks, the voice sending shivers down your spine. Whilst it sounded like a man, in reality it could be anything.

The skin of a human was a disguise the majority of the time, a bloodsucker or a wolf coping inside the exterior, thirsting to break free from the walls of bones and flesh.

“Kai.” He was not exactly human, he was a witch, the one thing that you needed. You had met him through Elena, who was luckily also angered by Damon’s actions, Aaron had been her friend.

And just like that, he had died. But she hid her feelings well, pretending all was fine because she was in love with the gruelling monster that you wished to execute.

However, even though you wanted to bring back your lost beloved, the time that had passed made your mind being up the idea of moving on.

The first person that sprung into your imagination was Kai Parker, the new sociopath in town. He was new, unaware of the traumatising past experience that lingered in your heart, and not to mention, his specimen was one of beauty.

Those grey eyes, ever so curious could bore straight into your soul, and you’d gladly let him mangle it, you no longer had a use for it anyway.

“Why are you out here y/n/n?” He asked with a tilt of his head that had your heart beating profusely.

Everyone knew of his effect on you, but they told you to dismiss it. It was cruel, that they’d rather have you mourning the loss of your partner than to move on with another.

To you, it didn’t matter if he were supposed to be the enemy, you no longer wanted to fight their battles. All you desired was to be in love, with somebody that felt the same.

And whilst you doubted that Kai knew how to feel such a strong emotion, some attention wasn’t the worst thing in the world. As a matter of fact, it worked well as a distraction, it made you almost forget the grudge that you held against the eldest Salvatore.

Almost.

“It’s nothing.” You whisked the direction of the conversation away from your deceased boyfriend, not wanting to talk about him to anyone, let alone Malachai Parker.

Even thinking of Aaron caused a void to open in the middle of your chest, it was unbelievably painful. You thought some people, such as Bonnie would understand, rather than think the loss as a regular occurrence.

To put it simply, the entire ordeal was completely fucked up, and you felt much more guilty for biting your lip at the expression that Kai pulled; his eyebrows raised, and his fingers carefully running down the side of his own jaw.

Oh god, his fingers. There were so many things that you could imagine him doing with those, and from the way he waved them on a greeting, he knew that he teased the thought too.

“Basically...” he began, rolling his grey eyes with what he liked to call modesty, and you classified as boredom, “you’re stuck out in the rain, and if I’m not mistaken, you live halfway across town.”

“Stalker much?” You sneered, crossing your arms across your chest, which only made his gaze wander down, and hold their movements for a dragged out moment. “What are you looking at?” You exasperatedly sighed, only understanding when you followed his peering.

He was focused on your chest, that through your white shirt, appeared almost bare. The lace of your bra was giving him a clear frontal, and so you adjusted your arms, so that they covered more and whatever they had pushed up to peak his intrigue.

“Why am I not surprised?” Shaking your wet hair, which was pointless considering that it was still raining, you realised that you felt the creeping of the cold.

You had been oblivious to it, thinking that it was a side guest to your tears, almost a consequence. But you were no longer tearful, mostly angry at the killer that ruined your future and acted as though it were no big deal.

“I thought you were supposed to be at college.” Kai quirked his brow, proud of the fact that he knew that. However you shook your head, and watched as he removed his jacket, clasping it around your shoulders, shielding you somewhat from the weather.

It appeared as no big deal to him, but it was to you, sociopaths weren’t famous for being kind and charitable. They always had agendas, their agendas, well they were obviously sociopathic.

But from the glazing of the witch’s eyes, you only saw a lost man. He was misinterpreted by all that he knew, they treated him like an outsider, alienated him as though he were a monster, and validly that was why he was seen as one.

“No.” You whispered, confused as to why you were so complied to correct the man. “My boyfriend was killed, I don’t want to go back there, it’s clear why.”

You attempted to give him a small smile, but it came out as a pained grimace. Just the thought had your mood drained, even more so since there was no route to resurrect him.

“Oh yeah, I heard about that.” He didn’t shiver in the rain, instead he seemed comfortable simply standing there, conversing with you in the rainfall. “Damon did it, right?”

Licking your lips, you hesitantly nodded, ashamed of the fact that you had once called the vampire a friend. From the start, you were always wary of him, but eventually you managed to become close to him. And then he ruined your chance of happiness, literally sucking the life out of it.

“What a dick.” Kai was blunt with his annotation, but you couldn’t deny that he was right about them. “Sorry for your loss and all that blah blah. We should get somewhere warm though, you can tell me more.”

It was a strange feeling, you felt pulled to the male, it was as though he was one side of a magnet, and you were another. And so you accepted his invitation, and followed him, breathing in the scent of his black coat. It was much sweeter than you had expected.

🏹

His so called home was an apartment, that you no doubt expected he had convinced someone with his magic to give him rent free. Or he killed them, either or you guessed.

But the thought of death itself was one that you weren’t too keen on thinking about, not now. Instead, you’d rather enjoy the company of someone that didn’t shame you for hating and desiring to kill the one and only Damon Salvatore.

Most of your friends didn’t take you seriously, they just barked laughter, not believing, nor willing to think that you could ever commit such a sentence. But they didn’t share your pain, if they did, you were sure that they’d understand.

Matt got it, he resented the vampire and a lot of the other blood suckers too. And your certainly couldn’t blame him, he had lost his sister, and there was no reason behind her change. It had all just been a game, a gruesome one at that.

Kai lightly removed his jacket from your shoulders, hanging it on a hook to dry. He almost appeared embarrassed, having you in such a private space.

But you didn’t want him to endure such a mindset as that. Instead you smiled, brushing your damp hair out of your face, grasping his hands. They were cold, and that made you frown. No one ever cared what he had gone through, instead they just wanted to rid the world of him.

Even his family had dismissed him, all because he had been different, and treating him as such had definitely had a mind mingling affect on him. It repented an unstoppable rage inside of him, one that ended in dead children and imprisonment.

“Thankyou.” The small example of affection had Kai tilt his head awkwardly and pull his hands away from your own. He wasn’t used to people even being polite towards him, let alone openly sharing contact with him.

You should have been scared of him. Or at least somewhat repulsed, but you weren’t, and it was a first for him. Most around him taunted him with blame, or pointed out his obvious flaws.

And so he ducked his chin downwards into his chest, taking a couple of steps back, mumbling something about retrieving you a dry shirt.

As you waited for him, you peeled off the sheer layer, dropping the ball of wet material upon the ground. Your bra had soaked into your skin, but you left that on out of modesty.

When Kai returned, his mouth gaped open, eyes widening at the half undressed sight of you. But he tried to avert your gaze, blushing at your lack of attire.

“It’s okay.” You jested to him , reaching out for the clean shirt that he had brought for you. “You can look, it’s not like I’m naked.”

“Yet.” He smirked as he allowed his stare to freely roam. His voice had been small, but you had heard it as clear as day. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be thinking like that, you’re in mourning and I get that you wouldn’t want to, yknow.”

His hand gestured between the pair of you , prompting what he was talking about. But maybe he was wrong, after all, it had been a while since you had any physical intimacy, and you’d be a fool to deny that there was chemistry between you and a particular witch.

“Don’t be sorry.” You put the dry shirt aside, walking closer to the brunette. “I am in mourning, but I’m going to get my revenge, and a distraction sure wouldn’t hurt.”

“And here I thought that you were just a pretty face.” Kai’s hand drifted to the side of your face, pulling you closer so that your lips were almost brushing. His breath ghosted over your own intermingling the fumes of lust and intrigue. “But it seems that there is a darkness in that mind of yours, I’m impressed with your plans to say the least.”

“I haven’t even told you any of them yet.” Your hand drifted under the band of his jeans, plucking teasingly at the denim, licking your teeth as you made strong eye contact with him.

“Tell me after.” He ordered, grasping your hips, and clashing your bodies together. Your lips worked hungrily against each other, both pairs of your hands grabbing all that they could, you and him both desperate to hold onto anything.

Kai shoved you backward into a table, trapping you against it as his lips fell downwards, and began to suck at your neck.

But at that contact, you pushed Kai away, freezing for a moment. Damon’s teeth had been on Aaron’s neck, sinking in and draining all that be worth.

“See Elena thinks I’m a monster, and she’s right.” You were unable to move as Aaron stood against the vampire, you had been compelled, and you wanted nothing more than to scream out for Damon to stop, but there was no audio in your throat.

There was no scream as Damon bared his fangs , nor when he sunk them into your boyfriend’s neck, instead you were holding back your tears, as you had been commanded to.

He held him to his mouth for a moment before dropping his body lifeless upon the ground. And you couldn’t help but stare at the sight.

Enzo wore a content smirk, and it sickened you to your stomach. Damon turned, his thirsty eyes boring into your form, that wanted nothing more than to crumble into a million people.

“You may now speak.” His pupils found yours, engaging with your soul, that felt broken and completely shattered.

“Are you going to kill me too?” A part of you was hopeful that he would, but as he came closer, you recognised the mischief in his stance.

He had plans for you, none of which you suspected to like. “Do it, show Elena how much of a monster you really are!”

If he killed you, you’d have liked to think that Elena would be furious , but it was expected that eventually she would forgive him when he put his humanity back on.

“Or instead...” you feared his humoured expression, eyes flickering between his feet that were walking closer to you and your dead partner that lay lifelessly a couple of meters away. “I could show her how much of a monster you are.”

He bit into his wrist, bringing it towards your mouth, and as much as you felt the urge to squirm, you could do nothing more but stand there and abide his compulsion.

“Are you okay?” Kai asked, brushing his nose against your own, wanting to know if you wanted to continue. He knew that you were a victim of trauma, and he understood it’s affects.

In regards to his past, his coping method had been inflicting it in return. But you had done no foul against him, and so he would not torture you or force you into something that you had no intention of continuing.

“Yeah.” You breathed, blinking to push the memory away, temporarily at least. “Bedroom.” You ushered, squealing distractedly as he hoisted you into his arms, wrapping your legs perfectly around his waist.

He dropped you upon the mattress, hovering over you, removing his shirt after you began to tug on the dark and rain pelted material.

Leaning your elbows, you unclipped the back of your bra, discarding it somewhere far from your memory, and Kai sunk down, his lips latching onto your nipple, playing with the other in his rough hands.

“Your fucking gorgeous.” He hummed around your breast, his fingers drifting down your stomach to the band of your leggings.

His compliment made you smile, and as he ripped off your pants, he slipped a hand inside of your panties, rubbing your sensitive flesh. But you groaned, frowning at his tantalising actions.

“Just need you inside of me.” You told him, and he was more than happy to comply, so he worked on his belt, as you slipped off your own underwear, and removed the torn fabric from around your legs.

When you looked up, you noticed that he was completely bare, and already had himself in hand. There was precum balancing on his tip and at the sight you licked your lips.

“You ready?” He asked bringing his head down to your chin, placing a delicate kiss upon the bump, and teasing his other tip against your opening, swiping through your wetness and using it to lube himself up.

“God yes.” You sighed, your hands finding refuge upon the back of his shoulders, your nails sinking into his firm skin.

And so, with consent, he pushed in, groaning at the initial tightness. “And I thought that it was wet outside.” He laughed, causing you to snort, he was funnier than you had expected him to be.

It almost made you swoon, but no, you couldn’t be interested in Kai, could you? Everyone thought you had been, even Bonnie had stated that you often undressed him with your eyes in the worst of situations, but it had never been a big deal to you.

And then it hit you like a ton of bricks, with a snap of Kai’s hips. All along you had denied any interest of another man, all because of the one that you had lost. And everyone already knew that there were sparks between you and the witch, before either of you had caught on.

“Shit.” He huffed, reaching down and biting your lips, causing your eyes to flutter sensuously, and dark veins to appear underneath.

At the feeling, you tried to bury your face sidewards into the pillow so that he couldn’t see, but he held you still as he gave shallow thrusts inside of you.

“Don’t look away, I think you’re beautiful.” Him saying that alone had you almost in tears. Despite trying to bring Aaron back you feared what he would think of you when he returned, or well, if he could.

Would he think you a monster, that stood idly by when he was killed? Because if so, you’re heart would literally break, and you wouldn’t be able to bare living any longer.

Living, funny. You hardly described what you were doing as such anyways. But currently, you did truly feel alive again, perhaps that was just the affect of having a dick inside of you.

But as Kai reached down and fiddled with your clit, you knew that you were done for. Your head fell back, eyes closed and mouth open, showcasing your fangs, your orgasm hitting you like a train.

He continued his movements until he felt he was nearing his point, and then he finished too, having no worry in impregnating you as you were well, to put it lightly , dead.

Both of you panted as he pulled out and fell beside you. Your eyes stared at the ceiling, your concentration eventually broken when Kai spoke.

“Damon did it, didn’t he? He turned you.” Your face had returned to its previous disguise, you looked human once more. But it was no secret that you were now a savage, a monster like Damon.

“Yeah.” You bit your lip, trying not to cry at the thought. It was the last thing in the world that you ever wanted, but Damon knew that too. And so he had cursed you, for all of eternity.

“Then he deserves to die.” Kai stated, he was already against the Salvatores, but his hatred for them had just increased.

[imma-write-stuff]

Navier falling for a Dancer S/O

(Inspired by GARNiDELiA)

- Navier, first met you at a ball, you was performing a dance on stage.

- She has seen many perform before but there was something about you that caught her eye.

- You had this aura that says “you can look but don’t touch,” along with a powerful stage presence.

- The nobles that surround you were greatly entranced and seduced by your dance.

- With your performance over you get clean up and join the ball; many nobles surround you to speak and gave praise to you. 

- Navier at that point was curious and decides to approach you. She express admiration on your performance.

- You bowed and thanked her, she noticed despite your fame you were quite modest. 

- You even offer a dance with her to express your gratitude and appreciation. Navier accepted your offer. 

- That lead you two to develop a friendship.

- As time goes on you noticed Navier was having problems with her marriage to Sovieshu. You didn’t hesitate to defend her and tell him to fuck off.

- Navier was shocked on how bold, blunt, and outspoken you were. You nearly got in trouble a few times.

- On bad days you took her a quiet place and have a slow dance with her to help ease her mind.

- “Y/N are you sure about this people will spread rumors,”

- “I don’t care about rumors Your Majesty they can talk all they want about made up stories,”

- She was glad you were there when she needed someone.

- When Navier have to face the reality of divorce and losing her title as Empress she began to wonder.

- What she would do with herself if it happens? Navier confide in you about the situation. 

- That’s where you ask her, “Do you have other dreams Your Majesty? Besides being an Empress?”

- Navier couldn’t give an answer, she spend her whole life preparing for the role that she never thought of anything else. 

- She recalled Duke Kaufman’s words of concern. Now she wonders could this be a possible chance to start something new?

- On the day of the divorce Navier announce her agreement and reveals her desires.

- “I have spend a bit of time thinking of what my future will hold after this day. I decide starting today I shall focus on finding a new dream. Becoming the Empress was a dream I focused on since childhood and I have fulfilled it. Although it deeply saddens me this will end but then I realized there’s more to life and possibilities are endless. I wish to leave the Eastern Empire to discover what will my next dream shall be. I will not allow myself to despair and continue to find happiness.”

- That speech shocked everyone especially her now ex husband.

- Navier bid farewell and head out with stride. 

- Not to long after Navier asks you if would like to be her travel companion. By that time she begins to fall in love with you. 

- Lucky for her your traveling scheduling permits that. Navier gets to witness you train for your next dance. She also gets to meet your troupe who welcomes her with open arms!

- It wasn’t an easy few months but Navier never felt so free and at peace. Navier begins to wonder could she learn to become a dancer?

- She ask if you can teach her. You accepted and took her hand.

Author’s note: Wow that came out longer then I expected lol. But hey I’m not complaining.

[twink-appreciation-posts]

Absolutely Not - Spencer Reid x Reader

chapter eight of “all bets are off”

do i sense some… possesive undertones coming from doctor reid? whatever. it doesn’t matter. you’re done with him anyway. it’s over.

warnings: SMUT, public sex, unprofessionalism, bondage, daddy kink, degradation, POSSESIVE sex

“Good morning, agents.”

“Hotch… too loud.” You mumbled.

“I agree.” JJ groaned.

You and your party-girls from the previous night were huddled around the coffee machine, grumbling about your hangovers.

“Why did we do that on a Sunday?” Emily asked, pouring herself a cup.

“Because we’re all masochists.” You replied weakly. Your morning had been miserable. You woke up with a pounding headache and you had to put on about a pound of makeup on your neck and chest again.

“Hey guys!” Spencer approached. You saw JJ glance at him quickly.

“Spence. About last night.. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten that drunk.” She apologized quietly. He shook his head and smiled.

“I already told you JJ, it’s okay. I was more than happy to get you home.” They exchanged smiles and JJ walked away, the rest of the woman following close behind.

“So, you making a habit of going to your female coworker’s houses late at night now?” You asked him. He seemed taken aback.

“What? No. What? Is that how you think of me? I didn’t- I wouldn’t take advantage of her, she was drunk-“ he began explaining frantically.

You felt bad, quickly explaining. “No, Spencer, it’s okay. I know, I know. I was joking. It was nice of you to take her home.” You assured him.

“Good. I don’t… I don’t want you to see me like that.” He sighed. “What did you do after I left?” He asked, moving on.

“Fucked a guy in the bathroom.” You said nonchalantly, testing him.

“Oh, I’m sure you did. Don’t think I don’t remember what you said last night.” He warned.

You found yourself falling into the trap again. Witty banter that would end with you pinned up against some surface and calling him daddy. Nope. Not this time.

“I really can’t recall. I was drunk, remember?” You shrugged, walking away before the situation could get any worse. He didn’t stop you, you noticed, as you made your way to your desk.

“What did you all do last night? You’re walking around like zombies,” Hotch asked you as you passed by him.

“Drank too much.” You sighed.

“And where was my invite?” Derek piped up.

You threw your hands up, a show of innocence. “Don’t ask me, ask your lover Garcia. She made the plans, I was just told to show up.” Spencer was back at his desk now, watching you. “Kid genius over here got an invite, though.” You directed Derek’s attention his way.

Derek walked towards him, giving you the freedom to finally take a seat at your desk. You spaced out almost immediately, mind wandering. What would have been said if you hadn’t walked away from Spencer? Did anything at all happen when he left the bar with JJ? And why the fuck did you give a shit? Self-reminder: you’re trying to let this go, not linger on it for the entirety of the foreseeable future. You were so busy scolding yourself in your head you didn’t realize that a box had been dumped onto your desk. Speak of the devil.

“What’s all this, Spencer?” You asked.

“Files.” He explained. “Files that I think need organizing.”

You looked at him quizzically. “I don’t think that organizing random files is a part of my job,” You stuck your hand into the box. “…This box is empty.” You stared at him blankly. He feigned surprise, causing you to roll your eyes.

He placed a hand on your desk, leaning over, his voice low and quiet. “In 10 minutes Hotch is going to have a meeting with Derek and Prentiss, I overheard them talking about it. JJ and Garcia will be in Garcia’s den going over the info for one of our old cases to make sure there’s nothing they’re missing to help the prosecutor of the unsub. Where do you think we should go?” You narrowed your eyes at him. If he thought he was going to get you to do… this with him again, especially at work, he must’ve been out of his mind. “You want me to choose? That’s fine. I’ll see you in the storage room.”

“No.” You said simply. “Not happening. No Bueno. Nada.”

He exhaled sharply, breath fanning out over the back of your neck. “See you in 10, agent.”

You were making a bad decision. You knew that. So why, then, were you walking towards the storage room when you noticed the bullpen was almost completely empty. Why did you knock on the door? Why did you open it and walk inside when you realized no one was there. Was this a prank? The only things in the room were boxes upon boxes of files and an old desk. Why were you here again? You stood there, confused, until the door opened. Spencer was already tugging the tie around his neck off, meeting your eyes. “You came.” He didn’t sound surprised. You wished he would’ve at least sounded a bit surprised.

“I wanted to know what the fuck you were going on about.” You replied as nonchalantly as possible.

“Strip.”

You froze.

“Y/n you knew exactly what was going to happen when you came here. Don’t make me repeat myself.”

There it was again. The warmth. The innate desire to please him, to follow orders.

“I can do it for you, but I can’t promise your clothes will be in perfect condition when we walk out of here.” His tie was off now. He held it in one hand, the other running through his hair as he observed you. You moved to pull off your shirt, dropping it to the floor. He hummed in approval.

“Good girl.”

You quickened your pace a bit, sensing his impatience, until you were shamefully exposed. Goosebumps rose upon your skin, the cold air a sharp contrast to the heat of your body.

“Look how quickly you give in. You’ve always been eager to please, though.” His eyes were raking up and down your body.

“How is it fair that I’m like.. this. And you get to be fully clothed?” You groaned, embarrassment growing. You should have never walked into the storage room.

“Patience, baby.” He chuckled, a hand moving to undo his belt. “You wanna know how I knew you’d come?”

You nodded.

“Because as much as you try to fight it but your body already knows who you belong to. Already knows that you need me, regardless of how hard you try to ignore it.” Fuck. Fuck. What if he was right? Was he right? Were you just braindead and horny at all times? “Come here.”

You approached him. You were already naked, what point was there in arguing now? You could resent yourself and your actions at a later date. He ran a hand over your body, tracing the outline of your skin. He was breathing heavily, a contrast to how calm and collected he looked on the outside.

“Turn around and give me your wrists.”

When you didn’t reply immediately he opted to grab your waist and spin you around. You were pressed against him now, feeling how hard he was through his pants. “Now for these,” he took your wrists in one hand and you heard the clank of his belt moving around and then, suddenly, the rough texture of leather wrapping around your wrists.

“O-Oh my god, Spencer, what are you doing?” Your face had turned bright red and you were actually kind of thankful that he had turned you so you weren’t facing him.

The leather tightened. You tried to flex against the restraints, testing them, but your hands were now held firmly in place. “You can turn back around now,” he sounded proud of himself. You hated it.

You faced him, hands tied behind your back, and watched with shaky breath as he pulled down his pants. “Why don’t you apologize for saying no to me earlier?” He suggested.

“You wish.” you grumbled, refusing to give in that easily.

“I’m sorry, which one of us is naked and tied up right now? I don’t have to make this easy for you. If you want me to fuck the attitude out of you again I certainly will." 

You gulped. “H-How can I apologize, sir?”

Spencer bit his lip harshly. Maybe he wasn’t expecting that response, but honestly neither were you. "I think you already know how.” He replied, brushing your hair out of your face.

You sunk to your knees, the rough floor already feeling uncomfortable, but you persevered. He stepped forward, a hand immediately rest on top of your head, blunt nails digging into your scalp. You leaned forward, taking him into your mouth slowly. He leaned his head back, exhaling through gritted teeth. Your eyes were glued to him, looking up through your lashes, and you could feel the need inside of you grow. How did he manage to look so fucking good? You found it hard to control yourself considering you had absolutely no use of your hands or arms, but that didn’t bother Spencer. He pushed you forward a bit and you gasped, coughing a bit. You heard him chuckle. You started bobbing your head, your tongue moving in synch. He was still guiding you, gently rocking his hips to meet your movements. Your eyes watered as he began to speed up, though, pressing your face pressing against his skin with each push of his head and thrust of his hips. “Look at you, all tied up and pathetic,” he breathed out. “Is there any question who owns you? You don’t care when or how, you let me use your body without question.” You were struggling to breathe, tears falling down your cheeks, but you didn’t care. Your only thoughts were of Spencer. Pleasing him. Earning his praise. “As much as I’d love to cum in that pretty little mouth of yours, I think I’d rather watch you beg for me.” He slowed down a bit, eventually releasing you from his grip. You almost fell over, losing your balance as you sputtered and gasped. He helped you up, running a thumb over your swollen bottom lip. “Do you want daddy to fuck you?” He asked.

“Yes, please, daddy.” You replied quickly, obediently. He let out a satisfied hum. “We’re still at work, I’ll have to keep you quiet.” He leaned down, picking up his tie from the ground. “Open.” You coyly opened your mouth and he brushed his thumb over your cheek soothingly, shoving the fabric into your mouth. He did it so gently that you almost forgot that he was about to fuck you in the storage room of an FBI office building. “Look at you, actually learning how to do what daddy says.” He turned you around once again and began to push you a bit, walking you towards the abandoned desk, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck and leaving butterfly kisses down your jawline. His finger trailed between your legs. His thumb played at your clit, running torturously slow circles, and he kept at this for a bit, whispering sweet nothings into your ear, reminding you of your place. Slowly but surely you could feel your climax approaching, but when your moans started becoming louder from behind the fabric he stopped. You tried to turn your head to look back at him but you didn’t have a chance.

“Now you’re gonna be a good girl and take it.” The gentleness of his voice dissipated and he bent you down onto the desk, the cool surface prickling your warm skin. You mumbled against the fabric in your mouth, pleading. He paused, considering, and without warning, he pushed himself inside of you with a low groan. You let out a muffled cry, body trying to refamiliarize itself with the feeling of being so full. You were moaning, spit dribbling down from around the fabric of his tie. “God, fuck, I missed this,” Spencer said through a strained whisper. He fucked you fast, a bruising grip on your hips, and you couldn’t do a single thing but lay there as he did. Eventually, he moved his hand up to your lower back, pressing you further down onto the desk, your face shoved into the smooth wood surface. “You told them last night that I wasn’t your best, huh? Well, I guess I’ll just have to fuck you so hard that I ruin you for anyone else.” He was speaking a bit too loud now, you feared, but there was nothing you could do to indicate that to him. You could only let out muffled sounds of pleasure as he thrusted in and out of you. Your legs were starting to shake, they were still a little bit sore from the weekend, but you were already feeling yourself get too lost in your pleasure to care about the aches and pains. “Who else could fuck you this well, huh?” You couldn’t see his face but he sounded almost angry. “Who else could satisfy a slut like yourself? You need this. You need me to fuck you.” He was too loud. Too fucking loud. And you knew it, but you could barely bother to care. He was fucking you so well you didn’t care if the whole FBI heard you. “You’re so fucking perfect, so hot, especially like this, so helpless, so easy to control.” You were so close, moaning, wishing you could see how good Spencer looked while absolutely ravishing you against the desk. He was close too, you could tell because his movements were once again becoming more erratic. He grabbed the end of the belt that was restraining your wrists, tugging on it hard enough to force you into an upright position, back pressed against his chest. You mewled in pain but he didn’t seem to notice or care. “You’re gonna cum for me, aren’t you?” He growled onto the skin of your neck. You nodded frantically. The hand that wasn’t holding you up by your restraints came from behind, wrapping around your neck and squeezing your pulse. Your eyes rolled into the back of your skull, the only sound that you could focus on being the sound of skin meeting skin. “Cum for me, then. Cum for daddy.” You couldn’t speak before, but with Spencer’s hand around your neck, you could barely make a noise either. Your legs shook as you came, feeling Spencer do the same not too long afterward. His grip around your throat loosened and he gently pulled the tie out of your mouth as pulled out of you. You gasped for air, still suspended in the upright position he was holding you in. After allowing you to breathe he carefully pulled you off of the desk, standing you up straight and undoing the belt wrapped around your wrists. They were sore and you rubbed them gently, meeting his eyes.

“You were loud,” you breathed out, voice hoarse. “What if someone heard?”

He zipped up his pants and wiped the sweat from his forehead, pocketing his tie which has been rendered unwearable.

“No one heard.” He reassured you and you followed suit and redressed.

“I can’t believe that you… that we…” You stared at him, emotions taking hold, and you felt your eyes water.

He noticed, eyes widening in panic. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” He asked quickly.

“No, no. I’m fine. I’m fine. Just… randomly feeling emotional.” You dismissed him, eyes directed at the floor.

“Oh. Don’t feel bad, that’s actually quite common. It’s called post-coital dysphoria, or PCD. It’s when you experience intense emotions like sadness or melancholy after sex. It’ll go away in a few minutes.”

There he was, always ready to tell you exactly what was wrong. It was nice to know it was normal, you guessed, but you wished you could’ve gotten some actual sympathy. Oh well. It would be gone in a few minutes, right?

“One of us should probably leave first, you know? Stagger our arrivals.” Spencer suggested. You nodded. “I’ll go first. I’m gonna head to the bathrooms.”

Spencer gave you a small smile and wave as you exited. You made your way to the bathroom, and as you passed by the main office-space you noticed Hotch in a room with Derek and Emily. Thank god, at the very least they hadn’t heard you. You scurried to the bathroom, walking inside to see Garcia.

“Hey babycakes!” She grinned. “You look like you’ve been through a wind tunnel,” she noticed. You laughed. “Long day. Hangovers are a bitch.” You ran into a stall and waited until she left the bathroom to use the mirror and fix yourself the best you could. You smoothed your hair and clothes out, readjusting your lipstick and wiping the running mascara from under your eyes. When you left the bathroom you saw Spencer returning to his desk, his hair still attractively tousled. Suddenly you watched Rossi approach Spencer, and his eyes widened. Oh fuck. Wait. Had Rossi been unaccounted for this whole time? Anxiety coursed through your veins as you walked past the pair, who seemed to go silent as you came into view.

Fuck. Fuck. You were fucked. And not in a good way. In the absolute worst way. You didn’t know what you would do if anyone on the team knew what had happened, but Rossi finding out was for some reason especially embarrassing. He was like a father figure to you. A cool Italian father figure. And now he potentially knew that you were having rough sex at work with your colleague. Great. Fan-fucking-tastic.

All praise Spencer Reid, king of ruining your life.

taglist <3

@101donuts @annestine @spideyboix @babybloomer @welcome-to-hoeville @eldahae @brokenanxiety @andiebeaword @spencerwaltergubler @la-vie-en-amour1 @rainsong01 @taekwinkle @dreamer7black @guessthatswhyiliveinhell @creepingfromthecorners @joyousreid

[seraphiism]

HIRAETH. / dante ( devil may cry ) ( to be a monster is to be a hybrid signal, a lighthouse: both shelter and warning at once. ) a/n: quote by ocean vuong

[ an earnest longing or desire ; a sense of regret. the feeling of longing for a home that no longer exists / or never was ]

“doesn’t this bother you?”

destruction and lost memories of better times. dark skies and barren streets once filled with life. this was home to many, and now, for the survivors, it is but a living nightmare-- an endless spiral and descent into nothingness.

“hm?” the devil walks leisurely through ruins and rubble, steps as light as a feather. “what’re you talking about?”

you study him carefully, his indifference almost off-putting. you’re not unfamiliar to such chaos, and you know he isn’t either. but still--

“i’m talking about everything around us, dante. it doesn’t bother you? doesn’t make you feel anything?”

his gait halts, and for the first time in what seems like hours, he looks you in the eye. there’s a grimness that resides in his expression, one you’re not used to seeing often. you hate it, and you don’t realize you reflect it. there are a million things going on in his mind-- future plans and old regrets that follow him to hell and back. there’s a tightness in his chest that he wants to be free of, but in this life and all the years he has ever lived, he knows it will not fade.

to exist means to carry the joys and burdens of the world; he cannot find a balance between the two.

tragedy has entangled itself into his existence. it comes and goes as it pleases, no matter what he does to stop it. he’s always been a fighter, but a steel resolve has rusted over the years. now, he is tired.

“just another day at the office.” he says with a shrug. he continues walking.

the response sends anger surging through your body, but you’re left speechless.

you watch him walk away, and this time, you do not follow.

( you forget that in the end, he is human, too. )

[ & when god said to bury your demons, they did not think it to be literal. they fight over the text, these devout followers, while you fight the manifestations of so-called evil. you don’t bury them, the ones you fight. that would be too kind of you. ]

the lines between human and demon are blurred. 

they shouldn’t be. it should be clear cut, black and white, obvious to anyone and everyone, but it isn’t.

“say,” he begins, legs propped up on the desk, “if you had to, by any chance, slap a label on me, what would you pick?”

“what are you talking about?” you ask knowingly. “did you know you have fifteen pizza boxes in your trash?”

“whether i’m a human or demon. and it’s not very polite to look through people’s trash, y’know.”

“it’s not looking through it if it’s visibly sprawled out.”

“good point. you gonna answer the question or are we gonna keep talking about pizza boxes?”

“you’re both. isn’t that the only answer? you’re literally both.” you pause when he raises a brow at the blunt response. “or are you asking which one i identify you with?”

“--which one do you see me as?”

the silence is four, five seconds long-- maybe even a minute or so. he doesn’t know. but it feels longer than it should, and that is more than enough for unease to settle into his heart.

he opens his mouth, wishing to swallow his anxiety, but the stones in his stomach are too heavy and he cannot take back the innocent question. what’s done is done; he just hopes to not carry yet another regret in his life, whether minor or major. your gazes meet, but he does not smile, does not make silly faces or remarks to change the topic. you watch each other, carefully, both cautious for different reasons.

“not all humans are born inherently good and not all demons are born inherently evil. some humans claim their innocence and have more blood on their hands than the other. who’s to judge either of them collectively instead of individually?”

the words leave your lips so flawlessly that he wonders if this is some crisis you’ve been contemplating for years, the decline of a staggering humanity that neither of you think you can save. he smiles first, then laughs, but what is it he finds humor in? he does not know.

“sounding real smart there,” he says, “almost didn’t recognize you for a moment.”

you smile in return, but it is laced with a twinge of exhaustion and sorrow.

the room is silent, and suddenly, you are both filled with a fatigue that weighs heavier than the bloodstained weapons you carry.

“you didn’t answer the question, though.” he mentions it again, presses for an answer. you don’t have one.

the desk creaks under your weight. you cross your legs, sit comfortably, and stare. it’s foreign, he thinks, the feeling of your eyes on him. he’d appreciate the attention otherwise, but tonight, it feels as if you are examining his soul, a muddled figure in your calloused hands. it is ugly, he knows this; he does not need such a reminder. it is distraught, tired, and filled with so much remorse that it is barely breathing. 

( how awful it is to live in such a way. )

“son of sparda,” the exhausted smile has never left your lips, and even now, it grows more in sadness, “what do you think you are?”

( at the very depths of man lie his origins, his being.

but what does it mean, if in youth, you hide who you are? )

[ the skeletons in your closet are warm, love. it could have been you. it could have been you. ]

only victory exists in glory and gore. with blood all over your clothes, to look back is to plant seeds of regret and watch until they grow. they’ll bloom, eventually, and there is no greater pain than to watch it wrap around your spirit. 

how long has he been doing this? the thorns begin to surface. they are sharper than he thinks.

( it hurts. soon, he will bleed. )

thorns can be cut. it takes time, as all things do. but they can be dulled until it is a pressure instead of a known pain.

“you grieve too quietly,” comes the murmur, your lips pressing gentle kisses against silver locks, “the world would be okay if it heard one more voice.”

he hums in thought, amused.

“don’t know about that. i don’t think the world could handle me.”

“maybe not,” you respond in quiet tones; he finds himself in awe at the tenderness in your eyes, “but i could.”

“wanna bet?”

you flick his forehead, his scowl meeting yours, but soon enough, you are laughing together.

“if i win, will you finally take out the trash?”

“what will i get if i win?”

“i don’t know. a sixteenth box of pizza?”

“--huh. think i’ll take you up on that.”

[readingsbylibramc]

birth chart reading for @myirlfa1ry

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a bucket shape, with jupiter as the handle of the bucket. your jupiter is in the 9th house, hence matters regarding foreign cultures and languages, education and experiences will be your priorities in this lifetime. you also have clear ideas about your future and who you want to be. even though you may have different passions and talents you’re capable of only sticking to one and mastering it, giving your all.

your dominant planets are mercury, venus and pluto. you are a very smart person, you can be quite astute and you have great problem-solving skills. you're also quite creative, or at least you have an eye for aesthetics. you may experience some karma throughout your life, meaning that if people hurt you, they'll eventually get hurt too and vice versa.

your dominant sign is aries. you may have a reputation for being impulsive and straight-forward. you don't like beating around the bush, especially when people purposely get on your nerves. on the other hand, you're very loyal and generous when it comes to your loved ones. you're very opinionated, and you always wanna make sure that your voice is heard. you're proud of yourself.

your dominant element is air. in your life, you adore seeking for knowledge of any kind. you may be interested in studying different subjects, from those you study at school like science, maths, literature etc. to more unconventional ones, such as astrology, psychology, criminology and so on. you enjoy interacting with people; even if you’re not that sociable, you’ll still be interested in their point of view and their ideals, as you see it as a way to expand your own mind. you’re also interested in vintage, and you may have a retro aesthetic or just like history in general.

🌎 ascendant in scorpio, 29° / 3rd decan ruled by pluto and the moon

your scorpio rising makes you quite pessimistic; you see the world as a place full of dangers and malice, hence it’s hard for you to trust people. this may be translated to fear; you’re either scared of other people, and hence you look more vulnerable, or maybe you’re the one who prefers to look intimidating to avoid problems. I don’t think you look unapproachable, though. there are other placements in your chart that say the opposite, so I imagine you project an image of yourself that makes you look quite naive. you can sense others’ emotions very well, so they have no secrets for you. you can perceive any single emotion in people just by looking in their eyes. while this is good, as you understand who’s best for you and you’re aware of the dangers you may face, scorpio risings tend to take advantage of this and be a little manipulative. this awareness of the world makes you look mysterious and secretive, as if you always know something more than others (and you probably do). pluto is also the planet of transformation, and you might experience a lot of rebirths throughout your life, both physically and emotionally. you might lose/have lost a big amount of weight, for example, which makes you look like a different person. or maybe, you like dying your hair of a different colour, giving you a different vibe. you wish you could be softer and show your inner emotions more easily, as scorpio is a water sign. the thing is, since it’s a fixed sign, it’s hard for you to be flexible and adapt to changes. when they happen, they’re usually out of your control as they’re literally life-changing. physically, I see you having a square face with high cheekbones. overall, your bones are very prominent and you’re naturally skinny. your eyes are extremely magnetic, and they could also be quite big and/or round. you might have either very pale skin, or just an olive skintone. sometimes, even a mix of both. your hair, eyebrows and lashes are very thick and dark too. you're at least of average height, and you could have something smaller on your face, like a small button nose, eyes, lips etc. you may also have very thick, naturally healthy and straight hair, as well as nice lips with a defined cupid's bow.

scorpio ascendant opposite taurus sun: this placement indicates that, when you’re in public, you tend to act in a different way from who you truly are. perhaps you’re shy, so you tend to hide your bubbly, charismatic scorpio rising with your modest, reserved taurus sun. this can obviously interfer in your relationships and bonds with others; some may expect you to be different, so you may often lose friends because you turned out to be more astute than what they were expecting. in fact, you may often attract people that try to take advantage of you. I wouldn’t worry too much, though, as I find this placement beneficial in your case, exactly because of this reason. but just in case it bothers you, now that you’re aware of this tendency of yours you can try to understand your real self more thanks to this reading, and start acting like who you truly are to get out of your shell.

scorpio ascendant square virgo jupiter: you probably learn a lot from people around you. you're most likely surrounded by wise, spiritual and possibly foreign individuals in your life. they help you to grow up, both spiritually and mentally. this placement also softens your rough scorpio image, making you look more outgoing and approachable. you're also very open-minded, and you rarely have prejudices. the downside to this placement is that you may be depend too much from your friends or lovers, especially when it comes to your beliefs. you're easy to influence, and you may change your mind often if others disagree with you. you could possibly have high expectations from others, creating a false idea of those who surround you. at least, you're aware of your abilities and you have the potential to make the most out of them, but you're modest about it. you don't come off as bossy, as other jupiter - asc aspects would.

🌞 sun in taurus, 19° / 2nd decan ruled by venus and mercury

you’re more sharp-witted and pragmatic than the typical taurus. you value stability in both romance and in your day-to-day life, like at work. you take care of your body and style in any sort of way, as your 1st house venus confirms. after all, the 2nd decan of taurus is a great balance of beauty and brain. I imagine that you're not very extroverted, you prefer staying in, but I repeat that you still probably have nice social skills. or at least, they're your secret skills. you like keeping your mind active everyday, especially by following your passions. if you’re the logical type, you might enjoy playing sudoku or things like that. on the other hand, if you’re more phylosophical you might enjoy reading, writing etc. you have a great sense of duty, that makes you want to excel in whatever you do. in addition to this, you’re also very stubborn. you probably get in arguments with others because you don’t accept their advices/criticism and prefer going your own way. you may also tend to overindulge a bit, and become a bit lazy. you're also very attached to food, but you still keep a healthy diet. you enjoy the finer things in life, but might struggle with jealousy because of that. you have the tendency to look at other people’s achievements and get disappointed about yours.

🌙 moon in aquarius, 2° / 1st decan ruled by uranus

with the moon in aquarius, you must be very unpredictable. you’re the type to change your mind often, probably because you’re constantly coming up with new thoughts and theories since you’re so intellectually active. you seem emotionally cold, and you may actually be like that. in your case though, I see that with your heavy water energy, you feel so much all at once that at one point you need to detach from reality to calm down. even though you have troubles showing this side of you, you’re deeply quite sensitive. you’re very creative and intelligent, even though you may risk to waste this potential of yours; in fact, I’ve noticed that most aquarius moons tend to put their intelligence aside because they’re way too rebel to keep up with it. it’s such a shame. perhaps, in school you didn’t really push yourself to the max, or overall you don’t give all of yourself to things that are not of your interest. you’re only a perfectionist with things you care about, and this could make you waste some of your potential. this placement makes you extremely spiritual as well. you may have some sort of psychic talent, or at least you’re just very intuitive. you’re interested in finding out the truth in the world, and you’re willing to dive deep to uncover it.

aquarius moon square aries mercury: your thoughts and feelings are constantly in contrast with each other. your aquarius moon is rational and logical, while your aries moon is more blunt and impulsive. this results in indecisiveness, you change your mind pretty often, and that can cause you conflicts due to communication problems. you're also pretty opinionated, you don't hide your feelings when you act by impulse. at least, the positive side of this placement is that you're probably very intellectual, capable of taking in consideration both the subjective and objective side of an argument.

🗣 mercury in aries, 24° / 3rd decan ruled by mars and venus

you are a fast-thinker, even though that doesn't mean you always take the right choices. in fact, you can change your mind very often. you probably have a beautiful, melodic voice, even though it's likely very loud. you also speak as fast as you think, making it hard sometimes to keep up with you in a speech. you could also switch from a topic to another casually. you don't really enjoy thinking about the past nor the future, you only care about the present and you live it they way you feel; hence, you're not really the type to care about learning from your mistakes. you always see the positive side of them, which can be both good and bad actually. that's because you're quite stubborn, it's hard to make you change your mind. you're very straight-forward, and that could lead you to conflicts as you don't understand the impact your words have on others.

❤️ venus in gemini, 25° / 3rd decan ruled by mercury and uranus

this is the flirtiest, most romantic gemini decan, but also the flakiest and most indecisive. your flirting style most probably includes jokes, teasing… things like that. even though you may seem flaky, as you like experiencing romance with different types of people, you’re actually quite picky. in fact, in order to fall for someone, you need to feel mentally attracted to them, not just physically. someone ignorant and stubborn that doesn’t care about learning something most definitely isn’t for you. you’re not the type to be super romantic and sweet with your partner or just people in general. you show your affection for example by sending them memes, making ironic jokes about them etc. also, when you’re into someone, you probably get very talkative! you start asking them simple questions about their life, even things like 'did you have lunch?’. also, you talk about them with all of your friends, and you find yourself thinking costantly about them. you’re very curious of nature, but you’re only interested in getting to know what catches your eye.

gemini venus conjunct cancer mars: you are very serious when it comes to love. you seek intense, long-lasting relationships, filled with both romance and passion. ironically, you tend to attract people that are the opposite, who are only looking for fun and casual romance. that could afflict your self-worth significantly, as you feel unlucky in love. this is also another placement that indicates that one of your parents, probably your father, or still anyone of the opposite sex probably influenced your approach to romance and sex. there are different scenarios I have in mind, but I'll talk about it later in the family life section.

gemini venus opposite sagittarius pluto: you find yourself having crushes on random people often, love at first sight is common for you. but when you seriously fall for someone, they’re your only thought. you start searching for info about them online, and you wanna become part of their life too. you love intensely, but not everyone may enjoy that. there are people that could feel overwhelmed by your love, others that would vibe with you and offer you the same kind of affection. ironically, you tend to attract detached, free-spirited people that most of the times don’t want anything serious. you’re prone to get jealous and possessive very easily, and this makes you suffer, as you may think there’s something wrong with you. maybe, it may even remind you of something that happened during your childhood, perhaps your parents were also very protective of you. love for you is a constant grow; your relationships will be hard, but there’ll always be something to learn to improve yourself and your confidence. little side-note, you may often date karmic partners, aka partners from your past lives, so you may often experience this 'I’ve already seen you before’-vibe in your new encounters and relationships, and you’ll always learn something from all your relationships.

☄️ mars in cancer, 1° / 1st decan ruled by the moon

in life, you have the need of feeling grounded and stable. you want to feel secure, and that makes you think deeply about your decisions, you don’t rush them. you’re not much impulsive, you think deeply about what to do and / or say, you are very cautious. this sense of being careful makes you quite indecisive, especially since you also have your sun in the sign of taurus, this energy is even stronger. you may change your mind often, or perhaps it takes you a lot to finally make a decision because you kept changing your mind. you tend to try and be collected whenever someone is getting on your nerves, but your feelings are extremely intense to totally bottle them up. you either get slightly passive-aggressive, and hence you could get very sarcastic and call them out indirectly, or perhaps you just lose your temper and face them angrily. possibly, you could even be the type to bottle up all of your feelings, until you explode all of a sudden. that can also make you more furious than normal, as you have all these repressed, strong feelings inside of you that were screaming to get out. you’re also extremely protective of your loved ones, especially of your family.

cancer mars conjunct cancer saturn: you're a serious competitor, as your mind is very strategic. your ambition makes you want to be the best wherever you are, and you may actually overwork yourself to achieve your goals. establishing your status is important for you. you may not be the type to act instantly, you prefer taking your time to follow a plan. in fact, you probably write down what you have to do in an agenda, or even in your phone's notes app. you have this strong sense of duty, as you feel 100% responsible of your fate. you're sure that, if you don't work hard, you don't deserve success and recognition. in fact, you don't take orders from others, you are your own boss. you could have materialistic tendencies, as wealth is what motivates you the most to work or just take action in general.

🏡 houses

your 1st house is in scorpio, with also pluto in this house making this energy even stronger. you fulfill your ego when you deal with intense situations that satify your needs. that is, you find strenght in getting out of your comfort-zone. even though you may be afraid of it. you’re an enigma: you know everything about others, but others know nothing about you. it’s your way to protect yourself from eventual enemies, as you’re prone to have a few of them throughout your life. your existence revolves around discovering your value, worth and purpose in general. your self-esteem is based on your physical appearance and on your achievements. you may have this mentality that you can’t take care of yourself if you don’t have enough money. you could also earn money through your appearance, or at least achieving confident is going to be a huge theme for you in this lifetime.

your 2nd house is in capricorn, with also the moon sitting in this house. you may have an artistic hobby, such as acting, drawing, etc. that could earn you compliments and praise, and hence it increases your sense of worth. you could also increase your self-esteem by taking pictures or videos of yourself, for instance. you love challenging your mind, but you're kind of lazy. you'd rather stimulate yourself through your hobbies and interests rather than using school / work, which are quite stressful for you. you need to find something material and concrete to motivate you and make you assertive. you could study just because you need a good grade, or maybe work just to get paid. you don't really do it with interest, as you care more about nurturing your passions than responsibilities. you're not really into conflicts; you'd rather be peaceful with everyone, as you find it a waste time to argue with someone. you're very peaceful, you try to avoid conflicts when you can. this placement makes you crave stability, whether it's financial, in love etc. you must be very stubborn, as taurus, the sign associated to the second house, is a fixed sign. this placement, paired with your imaginative moon energy, makes you settle on making your ideas concrete, and it's very beneficial. it makes you capable of achieving any goals in your life. you're also very artsy, and you may fancy particular art styles. you have a good eye for aesthetics, and you care a lot about the looks of your house, body, clothes etc. you have excellent concentration, and that is another thing that helps you achieve your goals and make your ideas concrete.

your 3rd house is in the sign of aquarius, with also neptune and uranus placed there. when it comes to speech, you’re most likely more introspective. you may not be much talkative, and most of the time you keep your ideas and thoughts to yourself, but actually it's hard for you to hide them. you may be secretive, but you're easy to read. you learn the best when you’re close to creativity or imagination, you’re very intuitive and hence it's easier for you to learn new topics. while you're very empathetic and you're able to properly convey your thoughts and feelings in your speech, you may also come off as sensitive or even insecure. you may have a quiet voice, and hence you could come off as shy. you have a very distinctive way of thinking and speaking. you don't like being like others, you don't follow trends. you're probably the trendsetter, and you may find confidence and pride in your ideas and opinions. some may even define you weird, but you have very strong beliefs that could actually be helpful for the world. you're quite 'ahead' of others from this point of view, you're able to find beauty in things without being influenced by others. for example, you may follow a fashion trend before it gets viral. you are able to come up with very innovative ways of solving problems, you're extremely creative. you may even be the type to invent your own words, or perhaps you love learning and reading new words, you have a wide vocabulary. you're also probably interested in science and any darker or logical topic, you want to use your words and theories to change something in the world. you want to leave an impact, maybe even help others through your mind. you have a very witty sense of humor, you most likely speak fluent sarcasm and you're also very astute. I would say that the only problem with this placement is that you may come off as a know-it-all, especially with your taurus sun.

your 4th house is in pisces. when you were young, you probably didn’t feel at ease with yourself. you might have been the outcast, that one kid that stood out in the daycare. you probably didn’t have many friends either, but you weren’t that sad about it. you enjoyed playing, drawing and watching your favorite cartoons alone. you find emotional comfort and security in your home, in your parents and in just family in general. you used to be very attracted to arts when you were a kid, and you kept this love with you while growing up. maybe, you were the type of child to lie to your parents. you have a good relationship with your parents, even though you may argue often as you're all quite impulsive and unpredictable. you may even be an absent parent, maybe your parents are divorced or one of them died.

your 5th house is ruled by aries, with also mercury sitting there. you find confidence in your creativity, and you have the desire to express it to the world. I think you’re probably the type to organize and arrange all the meetings and parties with your friends, you're practically the leader of your friend group. you may have aries hobbies, therefore you may be into sports and challenges of any kind. you could also enjoy working out and taking care of your physical appearance in general, you always try to look good. with mercury here, you may also be very creative. you are probably a good writer, and you could even gain money from these skills of yours. you have a spectacular way of speaking, almost dramatic, that could make you come off as a know-it-all. when telling stories, you may exaggerate a bit, but at least you’re entertaining to listen. you could also gesticulate a lot while speaking, and maybe you like mimicking voices as well. you aim to express your feelings through creativity, it’s very important for you to write poetry, songs, drawings etc., it’s also a way to relieve stress and worries.

your 6th house is in taurus, with also your sun sitting there. you may find yourself dating people at your work place, or maybe at school you go out with people from your class/school. romance is a part of your daily life for you. you like surrounding yourself with venusian aesthetic, so you probably take care of your body, your fashion, your home and so on. you may also be very fond of animals and money. basically, this placement makes your 2nd house even more prominent in your chart. this placement usually makes someone procrastinate a bit, you may have the habit of dedicating yourself too much to your passions without finishing your work, but I don't think it's your case. there are other placements in your chart that make you more hard-working than you look. you are in fact very dedicated to your job and routine. you probably don't like changes, you'd rather follow a schedule in your day-to-day life. your job and skills could be the key to make you gain more confidence in yourself, as they would give you the independency that you crave due to your sagittarius rising. you may have a job that allows you to earn a great income, and perhaps you could heal people with it. hence, you could be some sort of therapist, counselor, nurse or even something more artistic, like a writer. anything that allows you to heal people with your words would be suitable for you. you could also work in a place where you have to handle others' money or possessions in general. you're also a very practical individual, and you may have good health.

your 7th house is in taurus, and venus is also placed there. in marriage you seek security, both emotional and financial. you want a loyal partner that would never do anything to hurt you, and that has a wealthy job as well. intimacy and trust also matter a lot for you in a long-term relationship. your future partner will surely be like that, but you may unluckily attract possessive, jealous people, so beware of that. it may be a problem, especially considering your heavy sagittarius energy that wants to be free. you may date someone that looks good on your side. they may be someone important with great presence, and they could help you increase your self-esteem. they may actually resemble you, you could have similiar physical features. in addition, this is a huge indicator of a nice, peaceful marriage, I don't see you having to go through divorce or anything stressful for your love life, even though it may take you a while to finally find someone that you truly love, as you don't want to be tied down.

your 8th house is in cancer, saturn and mars are also sitting there. you are a very private individual, you have trust issues and you only share your concerns with people you're sure you can trust. you tend to preserve yourself, even though it’s hard for you to repress your emotions, as they’re too to intense to bottle them up. you absorb people’s feelings like a sponge, there’s no way that you won’t instantly understand their real emotions. overall, you tend to overreact a lot; you have cancer's sensitive energy on one side and 8th house’s mysterious, almost scary vibe. dealing with these emotional burnouts may be stressing to you, as you totally get caught up in them. even if it looks like you get to know other people often, you actually don’t let others know you. you’re the type of person to talk and socialize, especially after your saturn return, but you never reveal your deepest fears and thoughts to strangers. you only open up to people you’re sure you can trust. when you’re angry, you can literally go as far as using violence; you need to let out your emotions by screaming, swearing… anything that can make you feel better. when you don’t get rid of all your negative vibes when angry, you may tend to get physically sick; you could get stomachaches, or maybe even headaches. there’s a secret, sensitive side in you that needs passionate and romantic partners in love. yet, you can’t help but feel more attracted to the ones that may hurt you badly. you’re possibly quite sensitive to entities too, like ghosts, spirits...

your 9th house is in leo, and jupiter is also placed there. you’re able to grasp a lot of information that makes you think more about your identity. you’re probably interested in philosophy, poetry, literature... you are a perfectionist at school, and you probably have amazing grades. you are very justice-driven, you like learning new things and being the #1 at pretty much everything you care about. yet, you could be quite bossy at times, as you could come off as a bit too arrogant but you're just very dedicated. on the other hand, you're also very intelligent and open-minded above all, you could feel particularly drawn to foreign cultures and languages and you could be naturally skilled. you may also get to travel a lot or even move abroad at a certain point in your life, you're definitely a citizen of the world and you hardly ever have prejudices.

your 10th house is in virgo. you might be seen by strangers as a caretaker, someone extremely organized who has their life together, but that also doesn’t hesitate to take care of their physical appearance. your ultimate job would have to be some sort of healing career, you want to give and teach something through your work. in addition, your career is where you put most of your energy. you're driven by a strong sense of duty, and your career is also able to increase your confidence. you want to be a leader and create a name for yourself. jupiter is also conjunct the midheaven, therefore I definitely see you travelling around the world for your job. you may have to interact with people from all over the world, therefore you may have to speak a different language or deal with other cultures. you also have strong writing abilities, you are very philosophical and you could become known for your messages. you don't have to necessarily communicate through words, you could even become an artist, a designer, a singer who tries to communicate through their art.

your 11th house is in libra. you enjoy getting to know new people, maybe you have to do it because your job requires that. but just because you need to communicate with other people, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re your friends. basically, you're the type to know a lot of persons, but you may always feel lonely. that's because your bond with them is kind of shallow, they're not someone too intimate with you. hence, you feel as if you can never share your feelings with anyone. your friends may also be very good looking, perhaps even a bit more extroverted than you. since venus, the ruler of the 11th house, is in the 7th house, the house of marriage, I feel like you may befriend your future spouse first before marrying them. it may start as a simple friendship, or perhaps you're going to be introduced to each other by your friends. you could also meet online or in a very crowded place, such as a concert for example.

your 12th house is in scorpio. this is another placement that indicates that you crave intense, life-changing bonds, but that you also tame them. you're afraid of being betrayed, and hence you just end up repressing your feelings. on the other hand, this placement makes you extremely spiritual. you may be attracted to the occult or any spiritual topic: astrology, tarots, even spirits. and, since the ruler of the 12th house, pluto, is in the 1st house, you may use these tools to get to know yourself more. you can become aware of your karmic issues thanks to astrology for example, and use it to finally solve and break free from your limitations. it's important for you to get closer to your spiritual, higher self in this lifetime. it will probablt make your life much easier.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love, you attract aries, taurus, libra, gemini, capricorn and virgo. your future spouse is probably going to be very magnetic and mature, but also very caring, playful and affectionate with you. with your soulmate, it may be love at first sight. you're also most likely going to meet someone very spiritual, and your future spouse could actually be your soulmate. in addition, I feel that you're going to marry someone foreign, they may have a different cultural background from yours or at least you'll have to travel to meet. your children will probably have aries, virgo, gemini placements in their chart. they're going to be very active and fiery, possibly also naughty. yet, they'll also be very fond of their parents, hard-working and intelligent too.

👶🏻 family life

your mother is probably a very caring person that knows how to stand up for herself when she has to, but she may struggle to do that. she's very smart and optimistic, and she could come from a different country from yours. maybe she's of another religion, or she can speak other languages. she also has very strong beliefs that you inherited from her. yet, she coule be a bit moody and impulsive. she may have aquarius, sagittarius, pisces and / or virgo placements in her chart. your father is a bit more serious and focused on work, but he always made sure you always had what you needed. he also has a more playful side to him, that he may not show often. he could be a pisces or virgo. if you have siblings, they probably have prominent capricorn / aquarius / pisces placements in their chart. you may fight a lot with them, and you may be quite possessive of each other. yet, this relationships gets naturally better as you grow up, you are going to get along more in the future.

📊 career

I imagine that you would do best at a career that involves healing, teaching... I can see you doing well in the medical field, for example. especially as a nurse, where you mostly interact with patients. you may also work for associations like the onu, where you're surrounded by people from all over the world. hence, you get in touch with different cultures that can help you opening your mind. you want a wealthy job, where you can be your own leader and use your imagination. I can also picture you doing some sort of online job, you could become an influencer for example or you may be known online for your talents. as I've already said before, you have probably a creative talent to you that could make you quite successful. overall, you want a job where you don't really have to depend on others. actually, you probably strive to be your own boss.

👚 fashion sense, style analysis

I imagine you put a lot of effort into your outifts, yet you don’t show it. you want to look effortlessly good, you don’t want to give the impression that you tried. your style may be quite minimalistic and simple, with lots of jeans, sweatshirts, plain t-shirts… I see you being more into natural shades, like white, grey, beige etc. you’re also not very fond of using too many accessories, you’re stylish but still very simple. you have this natural charm to you, hence you still look good even though your outfits may not be too complex.

👁 past life, life purpose

in your past life, you were a very spiritual individual. you were close to your higher self, and you probably were able to talk to ghosts, you used to interpret your dreams and you most likely were also interested in astrology and other occult matters. in this lifetime, you need to put your spirituality aside for a while, and focus on finding out your identity here on the earth. you can still use spirituality to find out, but your priority is learning your karmic lessons regarding your self-esteem and work. you’ll finally be able to reach happiness and fulfill your soul when you start having an organized schedule, which allows you to balance both your hobbies and work.

🤔 major transits analysis / june 26th

this month could have been a bit rough for you; you probably felt a bit down, you don't feel much sociable, you just want to stay by yourself and think about your life. you could be feeling the urge to improve yourself, maybe something about school or even about your physical appearance, and as a result you could be a bit anxious to be perfect. you could be quite insecure in these days, and you could also be struggling with finances lately. yet, you don't have to despair: this is caused by the planets transiting your 8th house, making conjunctions to your saturn. in a couple of weeks, you should be feeling much more active and motivated to achieve your goals in a healthy way.

�� manifest what you want, secret skills

your secret skills revolve around finances and just security in general. with a positive attitude, you may attract material luck: money, clothes, houses… everything that you desire. since you’re a logical person, I assume the most efficient way for you to manifest through the LOA is writing! take a notebook and just write down positive affirmations, such as 'I have the car of my dreams’ etc. you may also write them on post-its and glue them around your house, so that you can accelerate the progress. you can also try to idealize your wish before trying to manifest it. for example, if you want a new sweatshirt, try to imagine yourself wearing it. you could also go into a shop and actually try that sweatshirt it on; being in contact with it will boost the law of attraction even more.

and this is the end! thank you again for booking a reading :) let me know if it resonated!

- libramc xx

[meandmyechoes]

The more I think about Dark Disciple, the more I find something odd.

[28th March 17:46]

I keep referring to it as a ‘favourable experience’, and there is no question the writing is what made me fall totally head over heels about quintress, but I also just, can’t?

I mean, yes. It’s very passionate, dramatic, scenes and gestures I can only dream of. But I also, don’t really see it in that ’omg they totally belong together here are my sixty headcanons of them’ sense?

I am very involved in the pairing, but also don’t really, actively ‘ship’ it — like the way it was an open book with Rhayme or Latts Razzi (since it’s the same author that indoctrinated me to Captain Rhayme). I could imagine them being happily ever after and silly shenanigans and slow-burn. But the concept of a quintress fairytale ending is so wild. I can only ask how much it is tainted with my personal view on relationships.

I know the plot leaves little room for “the future” and fed us well on all tropes possible. But, it just never occurred to me to put them in any other clichés or invent a missing scene.

Winding up, I don’t think their relationship is "weak", but it’s very motivated by circumstances and once you take that out of them, you are a little bit lost. For example even during the illicit affairs month, I… can’t really propose one date that does not seem tonally insensitive. (I can think of them being cloak dorks and Vos bringing her to ice-cream, that’s it, after a long hard moment) Really, all I possibly want is that sweet, sweet angst and canon is already there so I have no complaint.

It’s just… I don’t really get why it has to be the two of them that fall for each other. I understand why they did, and I believe it— Perhaps it’s much more a physical attraction thing that I don’t really have personal experience with.

I don’t know if quintress classify as slow-burn because 10 chapters still seem a little quick in the grand scheme of things. (aside: I’m quite disappointed Ventress wasn’t doing much in the last quarter of the book.) My point is, they do feel a little bit puppet to tropes, and while it’s deliciously written, there’s not much potential outside of canon. And that lack of inspiration makes me grimace a little.

[3rd April, 01:39]

I’ve scrolled through the dd tag and let the book sank a little. I am better articulated to talk about the sexist criticism now.

It’s a romance story, and when I judge it by that (lower) standard, it ticks the boxes. However, it might be a weakness as well, due to the projectability of the heroes. And yes, the whole assassination is dumb. Yet, tcw has been consistently this dumb at us. The last two times when she’s more rooted in the dark she failed, sent Savage and failed, so she’s gonna do it again with Vos… after she put down her desire for revenge. right. and surprise! Our “assassination” plan is to find Dooku and duel him directly. right…

I’ve read a review that says the romance takes away from the plot. However, the romance IS the plot. The book IS supposed to revolve around the two of them. I do agree them becoming begrudging allies then partners is a more unique approach, more rewarding as foils as well. but I guess a romance is easier for the conventional to process ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

With the “Ventress lose agency in falling for Vos”. Now, I can’t dictate how each of us buy into their physical attraction and chemistry (or lack thereof), and there’s no denial that a conscious human being is making that choice for the fictional character, I think the stance on this topic varied person to person from the above two factors, which are very different starting points.

I kept Katie Lucas’s foreword vividly in mind while reading. She said this is a story about people seizing chances to rebuild. That there’s always a choice. Cliché as it is, I believe ~the power of love~. I believe there exists someone you’re willing to sacrifice everything for, to overlook everything for, to forgive - to love them, warts and all. So, yes whether you think Ventress loses her agency to the romance, or if that’s a conscious choice on her behalf, is swayed heavily by how much you buy that they are the one.

[10th April, 10:30]

Yesterday I’ve been thinking a bit more about this. I do love this ship, I just don’t believe they’d be two people who find each other again and again in every life time, in every universe. That’s why, as magnificent as fireworks, it also won’t last.

To explore this, it’s not entire impossible for quintress to separate peacefully after this incident, but would that cheapen the build before? The entire motivation of dark!Quinlan hinges on his vision of their future. And say, Ventress did saved him and survived. How would he balance being a Jedi and his feelings - that’s publicly exposed to the Council? (sidenote: i really don’t like Ch. 27 where a bunch of old men are questioning their love life, but uhhh yes, I’m a sensible person!) For now, I’m seeing another Obi-Satine situation. And honestly how bad that an outcome is. It’s not like Ventress died for her war crimes! The show gave her a full pardon! So Idk man. Why can’t she leave him because she loves him and she exiled herself and they never see each other again WHY NOT FILONI WHY NOT.

Now I’m lamenting more what could’ve been with the two arcs. In Filoni’s original sketch, Aayla and Maul were involved. Man, that could’ve been the dream.

~~~

Part 2: [26th April, 15:15]

It has been… a month, since I finished Dark Disciple and I feel like it’s time to conclude all the thinking this book has made me do.

On the wider reflection about attachment and the Jedi Order, I still have to do more reading on it from other sources to form a concrete opinion. This theme won’t be touched on in this post yet, but I cannot shake how intriguing it is to compare “falling” in love to falling to the dark side. The temptation, and the submission to their emotions, the irrationality, the newfound curiosity, it all incites. Very curiously, it was Anakin Skywalker who commented that one is “blinded by love”

Okay, so what I’ve been scratching my head off the past two weeks is how I look at the romance between Asajj Ventress and Quinlan Vos. How would I define it?

Now this is as much as an exploration of how I view romantic relationships. Well, I’ve decided it wasn’t “love”, it was an “affair”. It was an affair because it’s a rush of passion, it’s a secret, it won’t last. Before I chop my own head off for bluntness, I mean it in, of course they are hopelessly in love with each other, that’s the exact premise of why it moved me so. But it wasn’t a complete relationship, wasn’t a healthy, sustainable one by any objective standards. Then, that’s the exact contradiction. Oh to throw caution in the wind with you, or to build a future with you?

Both are things I want a lot, and the ideal is of course one after the other. What quintress had (in the end) is definitely not something I’d want for myself, but it’s so fantastical, it’s alluring, just like the concept of falling in love - opening up yourself and trusting another person, is - it’s risky. That’s why it’s a sweet, sweet drug.

I’ve been so angry at all the red flags in this relationship. Reading this book, getting into both of their shoes, yelling NO like their best friends. But ultimately, what they had is unique to them and I can’t influence it in any way. Re-reading, I find myself holding myself back at all the places I was furious about going ‘You are smarter than this!’. Because it’s a tragedy, and the beautiful (I guess) thing is they chose each other.

The other day something on the dash inspired me to really think about ship dynamics. I, unashamedly admit, I’m VERY into Obi/Quin/Ventress in any and all combinations. *cough* I will not explain further.

I do accept the premise and I did discover they share quite a bunch of traits, but it confused me a while what made them cross the boundary, and it was, physical attraction (that the book was selling so hard I was blushing hot). I love them both a lot, and I would like to date them both, and I can see myself in either of them. Again comes the contradiction, is it a good thing to have characters so easily projectable, or do I want to see myself in more complex characters like them?

I probably lost quite a few cars stalling this train of thought. And I've been a canon apologist since forever. This book brought me a lot of emotional upheavals and a lot of food for thought. It brought me down to reflect on my romantic worldview and sexuality because I have nothing better to do. It totally challenged me as a writer and it’s just a really good novel by its right, regardless of the absurdity that is The Clone Wars. It’s a lot of firsts for me. And I really should find something better to do.

[26th April 16:00]

I must address that I got spoiled of the ending and the first and second half of the book probably went through some big changes.

If I cried for this book, it’s score would be even higher. And I’ve been so obsessed with discussing the relationship, without shedding light on the characterization, which is definitely an unfortunate side effect. Then it occurs that quite possibly the second half (26-42) deviated even further from the script than the first? It doesn’t have concept art or blocking, plus possibly (heavily) edited to omit correlation to other arcs. My major complaint for the second half is Ventress doesn’t do much and we know NOTHING about Vos, even though he is given screen time in the book. my, I just wish Ventress punch him harder and drag his idiotic mess back to the light sooner.

And to criticism about it being their ‘toxic’ relationship being portrayed as ‘true love’, well, it really depends on how thoughtful the reader is, right? I think if the reader is able to notice all these red flags and gave their own interpretation of the relationship and its outcome, it’d’ve been an educating experience. There’s what for the reader and what for the characters. They don’t know this ‘love’ is destroying them, and what kind of message is it sending? What ‘love’ depicted in the book is true then? I have my answers, and I hope every reader comes to their own as well.

[weirdbananasblog]

TOP ANIME QUOTES OF ALL TIME

Anime is a form of different variety of characters and their dialogues. In some of that dialogue, we found our motivation and inspiration. Apparently, with different characters, we make a strong connection just by feeling his/her emotion. And, the words that they are telling through their character.

Aside from the fun and excitement, some characters also have the wisest, smartest, most powerful anime quotes. About dreams, pain, life, and happiness that are so relatable.

1. KURAPIKA “I DO NOT FEAR DEATH, I FEAR ONLY THAT MY RAGE WILL FADE OVER TIME.”

– Hunter × Hunter

Kurapika is the last survivor of the Kurta Clan. He is rather smarter than most. He doesn’t open to people as easily as someone of his age should, also he can be very judgmental to others letting them know that they are wrong or just being blunt.

2. RORONOA ZORO “ONLY I CAN CALL MY DREAM STUPID.”

– One Piece

Zoro is a swordsman and he is the first crewmate of the famous pirate crew. However, his dream is very high for ordinary people. In short, he wants to be the greatest swordsman of all time. So, he wants to surpass Mihawk and be the greatest of the era.

3. MATSUMOTO RANGIKU “I KNOW SORROW IS NOT TERRIFYING. WHAT IS TERRIFYING IS TO KNOW YOU CAN’T GO BACK TO HAPPINESS YOU COULD HAVE.”

– Bleach

Rangiku Matsumoto is a female Shinigami that hailed from the North Rukongai. She was the former Lieutenant of the Tenth Division in the Gotei 13, having served in this capacity during the tenure of both Captain Isshin Shiba and Captain Tōshirō Hitsugaya.

4. OKABE “NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS. THAT’S WHY ITS POTENTIAL IS INFINITE.”

– Stiens;Gate

Okabe usually addresses himself as mad-scientist “Kyouma Hououin”. Moreover, he can come across as strange and delusional, talking to himself on the phone and laughing maniacally. Later he figures out that he can do time travel and the anime gets interesting from the point.

5. PAIN “THOSE WHO DO NOT UNDERSTAND TRUE PAIN CAN NEVER UNDERSTAND TRUE PEACE.”

– Naruto

Nagato appears as the acting leader of the Akatsuki who wishes to capture the tailed beasts sealed into various shinobi around the shinobi world. So, the above quote is said in the context of their past life experience.

6. KAKASHI “THOSE WHO BREAK RULES ARE SCUM,.. BUT THOSE WHO ABANDON THEIR FRIEND ARE WORSE THAN SCUM.”

– Naruto

Kakashi is very relaxed and calm, especially during combat. No matter the situation, he calmly assess the task at hand and leads his team to success. In addition, he was the mentor of team 7 (Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura). The above quote is said by Kakashi to team 7 during training.

7. SAITAMA “I’LL LEAVE TOMORROW’S PROBLEMS TO TOMORROW’S ME.”

– One Punch Man

One punch man is actually a comedy anime and the main character is Saitama which is hilarious. The title character, Saitama is a bald-headed 25-year-old man who is bored of fighting because he is effortlessly able to defeat enemies with a single punch.

8. ROY MUSTANG “MY PAWN. MY BISHOP. MY ROOK. MY KNIGHT. MY QUEEN HAS BEEN TAKEN. BUT I STILL HAVEN’T BEEN CHECKMATED JUST YET.”

– Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood

In short, Mustang is extremely intelligent and adaptable. He is a fire alchemist. Later on, he became a paternal Commander who cares about his men’s emotional and physical well-being.

9. SHOTA AIZAWA “THERE’S NOTHING CRUELER THAN LETTING A DREAM END MIDWAY.”

– My Hero Academy

He prefers working as an underground hero. In addition, he was assigned to be the Homeroom Teacher for Class 1-A in U.A. High School. Moreover, he is a very strict teacher that often tells lies or pulls “logical ruses” in order to make his students put their maximum effort into their training.

10. MIKASA “THE WORLD IS MERCILESS, AND IT’S ALSO VERY BEAUTIFUL.”

– Attack on Titan

Firstly, Mikasa is the female protagonist of the series. Likewise, She is the best human fighter after Captain Levi. Though she desires only to live a peaceful life with Eren. So, Mikasa chose to follow him into the military where she is considered the best soldier among the 104th Cadet Corps. And later she joined the Scout Regiment to continue following and protecting Eren.

RECOMMENDED QUOTES:

“The world isn’t perfect. But it’s there for us, doing the best it can….that’s what makes it so damn beautiful.” – Roy Mustang (Full Metal Alchemist)

“Those who stand at the top determine what’s wrong and what’s right! This very place is neutral ground! Justice will prevail, you say? But of course it will! Whoever wins this war becomes justice!” – Don Quixote Doflamingo (One Piece)  

“You shouldn’t be crying over those things that happened in the past. Think of this, why do you think your eyes are placed in front? That is for you to see what’s up ahead.” – Doraemon

“Knowing you’re different is only the beginning. If you accept these differences you’ll be able to get past them and grow even closer.” – Miss Kobayashi

“No single thing is perfect by itself. That’s why we’re born to attract other things to make up for what we lack. I think we start walking in the right direction only after we start getting our counterparts besides us.” – Itachi Uchiha

“Do you always want to live hiding behind the mask you put up for the sake of others? You’re you, and there’s nothing wrong with that.” – Ymir

“Moving on doesn’t mean you forget about things. It just means you have to accept what’s happened and continue living.” – Erza Scarlet

“I’m not going there to die. I’m going to find out if I’m really alive.” – Spike Spiegel

“I love heroes, but I don’t want to be one. Do you even know what a hero is!? For example, you have some meat. Pirates will feast on the meat, but the hero will distribute it among the people! I want to eat the meat!” – Monkey D Luffy

“I’ll solve equations with my right hand and write names with my left. I’ll take a potato chip… and eat it!” – Yagami Light

In conclusion, these are the list of best quotes from an anime that is funny, inspiring, motivating, and so on.

Make sure to check out the list of Anime Girl characters.

Anime quotes

[ddp456]

My retirement

Hey, all.

Boy, um, I’m sure that title is kind of a shocker, so I’ll do my best to explain myself.  And stop me if you’ve heard this story before (or should I say, these stories before).

I created a surplus of materials and examples to go by when making a Gravity Falls/Wendy and Dipper story in the same fashion that I do.  But in my heart of hearts, I can tell you all that the souls of these stories, the thing that everyone seems to tell me makes them so real, are based upon three real people.

I grew up a lot like Dipper did.  I was a smart kid, but not that smart.  I was the one everyone pointed at as a freak.  The weirdo of the class.  The smelly kid.  I had friends; not a lot of them, but in most cases, time and distance separated us, or I drove them away of my own accord.  I won’t excuse it by saying I was different; a lot of my pain I caused myself.  I would be lying if I said I had proper guidance as well.  I couldn’t tell you how many regrets I have.

But as I got older, I met someone special; someone different.  They didn’t treat me the same as everyone else.  I couldn’t tell you if it was out of pity, or perhaps, they were able to see something that other people couldn’t.  And I appreciated it.  To be honest, I loved them for that.

“Love,” I know, is a really strong word.  It’s probably the most overused and misused word presented by most of civilization, and the majority of mass media.  To me, love means to cherish, to want to protect, to wish no harm upon, and if possible, take the blunt of any blow wishing to do so.

I like a lot of people.  I love a whole lot less, if that makes sense.

Even as I write this, I do not claim for this to be the correct way of looking at things; I can only tell you the way I saw things at the time.

Such is why I chose to hide my true feelings for the longest time.  For all of the healing and solace this person gave to me, the very last thing I wanted for them was to be the monster’s mate.  Unfortunately, my private life wasn’t too much better.  It was like there was no safe haven I could provide.

Above all things, I didn’t want them to hate me for that.

Then, as always, fate played its hand.  The good spark in my life was whisked away and I was forced to deal the rest of the world.  But after the lot of a new series of battles and worries, something amazing happened.  That little spark was reintroduced into my life.

But I was still afraid; afraid of the new monsters that would use this person to try to hurt me; afraid of a home life that wouldn’t accept them with open arms.  I wanted to get closer so very much, but kept them at a safe distance.

That is, until fate struck again.

Pinned up against the wall, at the very last moment I’d believed I’d have with said person, I confessed everything.

Kinda makes you think of a certain two dorks locked in an underground bunker, doesn’t it?

They say with age, comes wisdom, and upon looking back, I understand my youthful folly.  I shouldn’t have lied everything at their feet and expect a positive response.  They were shocked by my admission, as they had their own feelings and hopes and dreams and heart’s desires.

I believed, because of my fear, I was too late.  If I were honest from the beginning, maybe, it might have made a difference.

Despite of the distance and my own hardships, I tried my best to stay in touch with my friend.  A lot of times, it was for the better.  And a ton of times, it made things a jillion times worse.  And I’ll admit; it was my fault.  I let my own loneliness get the best of me.  The very last thing I ever wanted to do was to creep someone out.  Maybe that’s why it bugs me so much when someone jokingly says that about poor Dipper.

In the future, I would apologize for reaching out, only to have a welcome hand on my shoulder in return.  “I’m really glad you did.”

As time passed, we did grow closer; not always in the ways I hoped, but I’d be fibbing if I said I didn’t enjoy it.  We were constant valentines.  They were my first real date; my first real kiss. I’d have calls waiting for me instead of me doing the chasing.  For the first time in a very long time, I thought things were getting better.

But once again, fate would have its way...

Even after all these years, I question: how is it that upon telling a loved one that you must part ways (again), they become so upset that they strike you and demand why things are the way they are, if they do not care?

(For the record, kids.  You should NEVER let a S.O. hit you no matter what.  After all, don’t want to leave a bad example on the way out)

Part of me will always wonder if this is what made things sour between us; that eventually, I became another person that would always let them down, regardless if it were my fault or not.

Little did I know that behind their mild exterior, lived a wild heart that craved adventure and excitement.  A group of rowdy and unpredictable friends were more than eager to help scratch that itch.  I would be told incredible tales of mischief and wonder and mayhem.  And if I were honest, I would say part of me was jealous.  I wished it was just us having the adventures. I wish we could have spend the day together at an arcade.  Or a carnival.

I’ll say something else I never admitted before.  This person has told me countless times in our lives that I was their hero.  The truth is that there were several times in my life were I considered them my hero.  They were brave and independent and smart-on-their-feet and pretty much everything I wasn’t but wanted to be.

And beneath all that, there was a person who was embarrassed to be sensitive and “weak” and wanted to cry.  At that time, I cherished that person more than anything in this world.

Then, I heard about the other stories: the “close-calls.”  And that led me to believe that there would come a time where my loved one would go off on one of these wild adventures and never come back.

I wasn’t too far off.  I’ll spare you all the rest of the details.

As I said earlier, I like a lot of people, but I love even fewer.  So, it was a really long time before I could feel the same way about someone as I did before.  In the middle of all of this, I accidentally stumbled upon a show on cable called Gravity Falls, and found a kindred spirit with the male lead, Dipper Pines.

Even more so, I saw parallel lines between my personal plight and that involving Dipper and his crush, Wendy.  And while Wendy shares the same adventurous appetite as my loved one, that’s pretty much where their similarities end.

And poor Dipper, man.  Oh, the internet was just brutal to that kid.  “Robbie is the victim?”  Get outta here with that garbage.  It was the same crap I’ve heard half my life.

As I explored the GF fandom, I noticed a lot of the best Wendy/Dipper works came from fanfiction. (Thanks google!)  And I found my inspiration for stories of my own.  I was able to relate my hopes, my dreams, my fears, my doubts; bits and pieces of my real life, even if they are grossly exaggerated.  (so, no fighting ghosts, haunted mansions, or cursed arcades for me, I’m afraid)

To my surprise, the first batch of stories received a ton of feedback.  Lots of people cheered my interpretation of Wendy and Dipper, and what I hoped they’d evolve into.  (I’d give myself a 70% on that estimate)

Did all of these viewers, reviewers, and rebloggers share the same view of the world; about love as I did?

About two years in, little did I know I would get another surprise.  I would get a Dipper of my very own.

I wasn’t looking for love. Honest.  But upon new experiences and meeting new people, I discovered someone - a special speck of wonder - that became enamored with me.  I didn’t notice it at first.  I still find it odd that someone can look or think of me in such a way.

But I remember what happened the last time I hesitated.  I always said that in the slim chance I would ever get a second chance, I wouldn’t make the same mistakes twice.

I kept my word and enjoyed the best years of my life.

I made up a lot of lost time with an adorable hipster with a similar spirit to Wendy.  An old soul, they loved retro culture as a whole: the movies, the music, even the video games.  Their literary tastes were also very similar to mine.  I couldn’t tell you the last time I had a conversation with someone about books outside of a school setting.

But at the same time, you could see Dipper’s innocence there as well.  A tough attitude hid a fragile heart. A hidden brilliance was often overshadowed by a lack of courage and self-esteem.

It was around this time that I noticed new comments on my latest stories.  People were saying that I was (inadvertently) writing a stronger and more detailed Wendy.  At first, I didn’t understand what they meant.  Then, after thinking about it, I finally got what others were noticing.

My Wendy had changed because I had changed.  Somehow, I gained a deeper insight on her character and the way she would view certain aspects of her life, I was now a Wendy myself, with a little Dipper that thought the world of me, and for this, I tried my best to make sure they would never feel the growing pains that Dipper (or a younger me, for that matter) would usually face alone.  I was their cheering section, their coach, their backup, and I encorporated all of these things into our favorite redhead.

I found it funny that the show would (periodically) use that same angle.  I only wish they would have done it as much as I did.

But as with all great things in my life, I royally screwed everything up.  And during a time of distress and turmoil, my little Dipper found something better and hitched their wagon elsewhere.

So, by now, you have to be asking, “Why are you telling us bits and pieces of your life?”  I do this because I want people to understand why I can’t do this anymore.

Don’t get me wrong.  I love writing the stories.  I also love the fact that there’s so many people that look forward to each tale, as if it was made by the real Gravity Falls team.  To me, that’s a great honor that very little can ever replace.

But at the same time, the series (and especially Wendy and Dipper) is so close to my heart, and in some cases, so indistinguishable from certain aspects of my personal life that it actually hurts.  For the record, I haven’t sat down and watched an episode of Gravity Falls since the Blu Ray box set came out, in which I listened to the commentary for a project for Wendip-Week.

Maybe it’s because I know what happens to Dipper and Wendy at the end of the series.  Maybe it’s because their fate reminds me so much of my own.  It’s a “Chicken or the Egg” question for sure.

This is why DBR3 and Serendipity took so long to finish.  At times, I had to force myself on the computer to write 1,000 words at a time.  It takes me months to do what I used to do in mere days or at most, a week.  I don’t have the strength or the enthusiasm to do it at the same pace.  And you all deserve better than that.

I need a break, guys and gals.  I need to clear my mind and find out what’s going on inside here.  For the first time in years, I have accomplished all of my Gravity Falls related goals.  Just to go down the line:

-Published a new chapter every weekday for a month straight in honor of the GF Season 2 Premiere.

-Created a few GF stories based in the first-person perspective.  One of them is one of my most popular stories.

-Delivered a DBR2 and DBR3 due to high demand.

-Shaped a two-part Wendy/Dipper story based in the same nature and context of the classic graphic novel, Scott Pilgrim.

-Wrote several extensions to Gravity Falls episodes that I had uneasy feelings about.

-Helped a fellow Tumblr user create a Wendy/Dipper themed full sized Christmas poem in less than 24 hours.

-Tried my hand at a Wendy and Mabel story just to try something different and to see if I could do it.

-Wrote and outlined a 50-page Gravity Falls comic after 3+ years of trying to get it off the ground.

That’s not really a bad resume, not counting all the contributor’s work I’ve done for other Wendip artists/writers or the essays, guides, and projects I helped Wendip-Week design.  Even if I still had the energy to keep going, what unexplored territory is there for me to explore?

So what does this mean?

Well, that’s up to you lot, isn’t it?

I would love it if the same fans that enjoyed my stories took up the reigns and show us in the Wendip/GF communities what they could do.  Lead the way with new Wendy and Dipper tales!  Make it about the past, present, or future!  Give us a new way to look at them, or present them in an undiscovered light.

And it doesn’t have to be writing, either.  Make a comic.  Draw a picture.  Heck, do a radio broadcast for all I care.  Express your minds, hearts, and soul and create with them just as I have.

(and as a side note; I hope my Deviantart friends take this to heart.  The last time I was on the site, the cute/adorable pic/X-rated pic ratio was greatly, greatly one-sided in a bad way)

A lot of people might be asking, “Well, you’re calling it quits. Why shouldn’t we?” 

Because if you believe in the messages I put into the stories or the effort we put into Wendip-Week, then aren’t those messages worth spreading?  Just because my personal life went to crap in a handbasket, it doesn’t mean the same would happen to anyone else.

A harsh lesson I learned with age is that you can do everything perfectly, or to the best of your abilities, and still fail.  The Gravity Falls team loved to instill this over Dipper time and time again.

I want to believe in something better.  Don’t you?

And who says I’m gone for good?  Maybe I’ll find a new form of inspiration and come up with an unique idea that I just can’t keep to myself,  Perhaps Gravity Falls will come back in some form and ignite enough of a fire in me to pull a comeback.

But, until then, I plan on taking a long, well-deserved break.  After all, I have a ton of missed Wendip Week submissions to catch up on.  I promised myself I wouldn’t check them out until my final story is completed.  It looks like that day is finally here.

However, it is the holiday season, and for this, I wish to leave you all with three different sources of inspiration.  Maybe it’ll help; maybe it won’t.

1.  An inspirational letter from none other than my namesake.

2.  A key word of advice from one of the only series that could stand up to Gravity Falls’ legacy.  It is a message I wish I could have learned sooner.

3.  And simply because we NEED more sources of strong females (and something I wish I would have found in time for the Spider-Man essay), here is a tumblr blog dedicated to my favorite Marvel female, who IMHO is as close to an adult Wendy as we’ll get,

I wish you all a happy holiday, and hope that my announcement hasn’t dashed your holiday spirit.  I am forever honored by all those I have worked with and by those who took my nonsensical musings and elevated them to something more.

As one of my favorite bands like to close their shows with:

“It's never goodbye, It's just 'till next time."

-ddp456

[schiste-argileux]

Idw Prowl is an evil SOB (took him two years to send the Wreckers to Garrus-9 and help Maxy (who was protecting all the war crimes the Bots did), put Maxy’s torturer and a war criminal on board the Lost Light cuz why not, sent Pharma to Delphi knowing it was DJD territory)

Prowl... Prowl’s creation and competence in his area of work is astounding. He is brilliant, creative, and defiantly apathetic of this world. But, he is very human in his own way. IDW Prowl is selfish, yet not. He is a unique in that aspect because most people make decisions like his for the sole reason of benefiting themselves. But Prowl’s sole reason of existing is to create PEACE. 

Peace. Peace can only be done when people are complacent, happy, and satisfied. When things are stationary. Stable. 

But life is never stable. Elements desire to form bonds, yet are almost always leaning towards to instability... Prowl’s form of PEACE is a world where there is no fighting. But everything sentient requires to fulfill its desires. As long as there is desire, people will fight. 

A world of PEACE would be a world of full control, there are no surprises, no change. Safety, routines, and constants. No creativity, no development... nothing. stagnant. 

But I must admire Prowl’s tenacity and dedication to this world! 

He sacrifices everything for the sake of the directive, preserve cybertron, PEACE. He sacrifices his morals (Robot Gets Bullied By a Human), his dignity (Recent News, Cop Accepts Orgy For The Means of Establishing Peace, his body (Recent News, Cop gets Molested by A Spider for The Autobot Cause), and of course, thousands of lives (Not Recent News). :D Prowl respects and understands that there will always be chaos and instability, and he is so very flexible around it all! He literally can maximize everything and anything he has. He is the embodiment of consequentialism with a lil dash of politics. I wish my group project members were 1% as productive as him! Prowl tries to put everything black and white, and he gets upset when things get far more tricky, and wants to get everything in control so people can stay safe and remain in peace and not fight! And that’s a respectable goal! Control can be good, it means one understands and is able to retain themselves and the thing they are controlling. But Prowl doesn’t want to accept that there are things out of his control. And Prowl likes to think he’s justified when he controls the uncontrollable. 

I mean, yeah, if he didn’t do what he did, the autobots would have been six feet under A LOT EARLIER. Optimus is not a good leader, preserving organic life over his own soldiers? Psh. Look at Spike, he’s got valid points and can I understand why he left the ‘bots. Prowl’s probably thinking everyday, DAMN, OP, WHY R U SO DUMB. LISTEN WE NEED TO FEED OUR SOLDIERS AND PRIORITIZE OUR SPECIES LIVES INSTEAD OF THIS FUCKING CARBON BASED CIRCLE. HELLO??? And literally Prowl could have been like I’m gonna get ya assassinated so I CAN HAVE IT MY WAY. But Prowl was BORN for the RULES. To follow, to MAKE PEACE. Killing the prime figurehead is against that, even if it would make his life way easier! (hence, not that selfish and also sad that your life is the rules. That’s a short leash, but he makes due)

Honestly I feel bad for Prowl. Must suck to be so big brain that everyone hates you when you say the truths (but also you could learn some more tricks from Jazz to be nicer and hide the truth, but that’s scary because a nicer prowl means more people he can trick and use. Thanks Prowl for being so straightforward! Now people can avoid you easier). He's so straightforward about things that need to be done, he’s in constant denial about the grey area of life!

That’s why when Spike slapped Prowl with reality slaps, Prowl lost some of his shit. Remember, nearly everyone had the edgy depressed time in their teens or young adult years where you realize the world is truly unfair and nothing is black and white? Yeah. Slap that on a 6+ million year old robot with a battle computer and is capable of big brain CPU-age, and was literally built for the sole purpose of enforcing rules and making peace? And no one really cared about Prowl enough to understand him and his background. So Prowl goes through his angst moment alone with his huge titties, frustrated. THIS. IS. WHY. YOU. COMMUNICATE. YA DINGUS. 

Prowl doesn’t become a school shooter like Pharma cuz hes got bigger brain and a lot more power and control over himself, but he literally becomes Shadow The Hedgehog (Even if the world’s against me I’ll fight like I’ve always have). HE’S GONE ROGUE. MA’AM, SIR, THE FUCKING OREO COOKIE HAS TRANSFORMED AND ROLLED OUT.  like. OP was the one thing holding prowl back, which was good! But now prowl’s on the roll and bumblebee is too nice and passive to hold him back. + the bombshell brainwash? feels so bad. being prowl sucks. because Prowl is a necessary evil. 

At least he’s wonderfully blunt about his goal to create a peaceful cybertron, which makes it easier if you want to avoid him or smth. meanwhile you have fake people IRL that smile their way through and then slit your throat and you won’t even know it was them (hey jazz, no offense, but that’s what spec ops does). Fakers are the scariest enemy, but Prowl is still a threat, just not as big as a someone who fluffs you up on a balloon and then pops it. Prowl would just be like, hey, you’re really useful, come over here in my white van i wanna show you something and then maybe you get destroyed. But hey! You were the one with the highest chance of surviving compared to other people! Isn’t that great? You’re so skilled WOW. (Prowl gets punched. Again!) Prowl represents the necessary evil in society. We WILL ALWAYS HAVE EVIL people in this world. But Prowl is a far better evil than people who do evil for their own selfish reasons. It’s like how we have law enforcers and politicians . It’s basically giving them legal rights to do illegal things (lmao). BUT we need them regardless. We need those people to get their hands dirty, possibly killed, so that people can live in innocence and peace. 

I don’t think Prowl ever realized that he was a necessary evil, and when Spike showed him that, he was bitter. But he accepted it. Which I respect because most people can’t be bothered to understand themselves and just throw themselves in denial, and point fingers for their flaws. Prowl sucks up and understands who he is, and he makes the best of it to achieve his goal.  I mean, honestly? Prowl is probably a miracle worker. Not in a Ratchet sense. But look at the way modern governments run, nothing gets done, everything is stalled because no one has the guts to make sacrifices. Prowl would have gotten a shit ton of things done, man, and take quick efficient action. Even if he sacrifices many things for it.  (Warning. I do not condone any taking of lives, NO ONE has the right to judge whenever a person should live or die.)  Prowl reminds me of 秦始皇 (Qin Shi Huang), the king who unified China and sacrificed millions to make the Great Wall, canals, and road systems that last to this day. If it wasn’t for these accomplishments, China wouldn’t have been what it is today. Was it a good thing? For the future residents of China? Hell yeah. But the costs? Those are sins that can never be erased, and they are horrible and shouldn't be done ever again. Was it necessary? Perhaps. But that’s another discussion. Is Prowl evil? Depends on your definition of evil. Perhaps he’s justified, perhaps in his world, he’ll go down as the Qin Shi Huang of the Cybertronians. Regardless, Prowl like Pharma, is an EXCELLENT example to study on public ethics, and administrative officials should analyze him and learn from his mistakes and sins.  I think Prowl is not evil in a sense that he wishes to harm others, but evil in a sense of his apathy. Prowl is a necessary component to a functional society (someone to plot, to use people, to enforce rules even if some are sacrificed, someone who can get their hands dirty). He lives a terrible and sad fate, and I do not wish ANYONE to live a life like Prowl’s or look up to Prowl. Yes, he’s so clever and brilliant, but that kind of power will make you the loneliest person on Earth.

Thanks Prowl for taking the entire load of sin on your shoulders! Big MVP! You get nothing from the world except hate and contempt.  I would go on about him more but I have IRL stuff to do. I love Prowl as an example to tell people that MODERATION. COMMUNICATION. AND COMPASSION are important factors to have a healthy and good mental state. Prowl is the perfect example of someone who doesn’t want to empathize (haha so many people are like this today), who doesn’t want to try to use more braincells and friends help to make better plans that are more moderate and not extreme, and who doesn’t want to talk to anyone thinking its a waste of time or have difficulty explaining things.  BUT I LOVE G1 PROWL because he has far more patience and manners, and doesn’t take a darker, route for his goals. awhohdohd he’s baby,,, i wish all cops had patience and manners and in general open-minded yet cautious enough not to be taken advantage of,,,, perhaps then we wouldn’t have so much polarization and fighting with authority in this world.... 

uwuwwuwuwuw they did prowl so dirty in idw WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ;____;   Again, you are welcome to disagree or agree! I wrote this really quickly so I’m sure there will be points that could be clarified or edited. Prowl’s really complicated and I do not like to talk about current IRL problems, but Prowl represents a lot of problems in society. And I think it’s critical if we try to look at both perspectives to get an understanding on WHY people do these things, and is there a solution to AVOID making those same mistakes? There’s a couple of controversial things in this short essay I wrote, esp. about cops IRL. So feel free to have at it! Or ignore it! Whichever is more comfortable for you! Thanks for coming to my ted talk! Again, Prowl is a bad influence and a sorrowful life to live. please do not try to be like prowl. xD I won’t intrude on you if you do, because you have a right to live the life you want as long as you’re not hurting other people’s interests and wellbeing! 

[purpleoffbeat]

Let's Bring Them Hell

After Wednesday's mind body spirit challenge, Group West is disqualified (for whatever reason). It is then that Venus has a wonderful idea...

(Post-We Know the Demo, game events don't happen. Written in under 3 hours, if it's particularly bad I'm sorry. Also the narration misgenders Venus because at that point she hasn't come out yet. This doesn't last for the whole fic though.)

-------------------------------------

We don't have to. Or rather, we shouldn't. We won't if one of us doesn't want to. But we definitely will if we're all in it. So should we?

---

Another Wednesday means another fucking week's end bonfire. Why Wednesday is considered the week's end is really stupid but who really cares. Nothing about this shitty camp makes any sense. It's a camp for bad kids but some are worse than others so those get the short end of the stick by default without any way of redeeming themselves. Why bother being good?

"Fuck this." Neptune is in her usual mood, "Fuck this camp and fuck everyone here. We seriously did so good and should've been crowned winners of this challenge shit the captain puts us through but we were disqualified. That's insulting." She grabs her phone again and sighs when there's no new messages waiting for her.

"Guess I was wrong, haha..." Jupiter laughs awkwardly. That's right, she had said earlier that maybe everything would go right for the challenge. For no apparent reason. But maybe everything would go right and everything went wrong in unpredictable ways. Such a monumental fuck up that they were disqualified. They would certainly hear sermon from the captain or whatever at a later time. Fuck that too.

While Jupiter looks dejected fumbling with her hair tie and Neptune fiddles with her phone, Venus has a sort of realization: no one is around anymore. And it's like there's two directions to go. The way everyone went, and...

Venus is pretty smart, he knows where they are, mostly, and where the roads should be, kinda. It can't be too far. A way out. Venus always wanted that. And now they can have it.

"What if we just, run." The words come out of his mouth before there's even any time to process what he's saying.

Neptune's eyes widen, "Haha are you serious. Good kid Venus seriously just said that? Are you having a fever? Jupiter, don't."

She stops in her tracks and brings her hand down, with an awkward smile. "Right... um. Anyways we should go."

"Seriously though."

"He's right actually."

"You can't be serious?"

"I am." She turns to Venus, who looks away sheepishly and stays quiet.

Neptune narrows her eyes. "That is the best idea you've had all summer so don't fucking dare back out of it now." With that, Venus could only awkwardly laugh. "UUUGH fuck you both let's go."

"No! I mean, no. Let's not, haha good one Venus, let's go back." Jupiter almost reaches for them both but decides not to in time. She heads towards the camp, where everyone is surely talking about them being missing. Or maybe not 'cause who cares about Group West.

Neptune grabs Jupiter's hand. Oh no. "No way, this is the perfect opportunity and we aren't gonna just pretend this isn't the best for us."

"She's right." It seems Venus has decided. "If this is our way out then we should take it." He takes Jupiter's other hand. "I'm so sick of this. Of pretending I'm someone I'm not. Of pretending I'm good. I don't have the strength to care anymore. Any better kid would. But I'm the worst. Let's go." He smiles at Jupiter.

She can only gasp. She looks back at Neptune who only nods. Jupiter thinks this can't be happening. So she lets go of their hands, because touch can only be a bad thing. So she begins rubbing her temples. "This can't be happening. This just can't. We can't. We'd get punished. We'd never hear the end of it and we'd never be ok ever again. This is wrong you guys! Can't you see it?!"

"I can see perfectly. Don't tell me I don't 'cause I do. I really do. And I see our future is just up ahead, that way." Venus is more serious than normal.

Neptune begins speaking in an unusually calm tone. "Look, it's hard for us too you know? But in this world what's good is wrong and what's wrong is good. So let's forget the world and make our own. They say we just have to survive a few more years until we're adults but fuck that. Even then we'll have to conform to some bullshit standards and norms that will make us never live in peace. So let's live the way we want." She smiles genuinely. "Our way."

Jupiter's heart has never beat faster. She's crying already, and there's nothing to stop the flood. Neptune has that power.

Venus brings a hand to her shoulder. "It's okay, we'll get out of here and everything will be fine. For real this time."

And Jupiter feels like she could fly. She can see it now.

She thinks about how she let go of their hands so selfishly, yet with so little attention to her selfish desires. Holding hands feels wrong, but letting go feels worse, so when she reaches towards their hands, it feels right again. It's a wonderful sensation, to realize who you are after all this time.

A storm is brewing, but they didn't notice until now. Where it is doesn't matter, what suddenly comes to attention is the sound of distant footsteps. It's do or die now.

So Jupiter takes the first step forward.

Should we?

No, we shouldn't.

We will.

In a moment, the three begin running away. The sound of the storm brewing in their hearts is the most lovely thing, and soon the noise of the sirens in the distance joins to make a perfect wretched harmony. They left everything behind. Possessions, responsibilities, weights they didn't think they would've gotten rid of. They feel lighter than ever before. And it is amazing.

---

Under a bridge, they stop to rest. It's been a while, and they're just outside the city. Soon they will be reunited with their parents, but ready to face the consequences.

They all sit down on the ground. "That was amazing!" Jupiter is glad they decided to run away. "We're gonna be in so much trouble!" She says, almost as if looking forward to it. Being freed from her past desires of being a good kid feels great.

"Venus you opportunistic little shit." Neptune smiles. "The best. Fucking. Idea. Ever." Then she laughs, though still catching her breath.

"Um guys, I need to talk to you about something." Shy Venus sighs. "I was thinking about this actually, and I think it's kind of important... So, we're gonna live the way we want, yeah?"

"Uh-huh." Jupiter nods.

"We'll be selfish and act on our wishes?"

"Exactly." Neptune crosses her arms.

"Well uhh. How do I put this. I wish I was a girl."

Jupiter opens her mouth, but no words come out. She's surprised by Venus's bluntness but it's also very like him (???) to do that.

Meanwhile Neptune looks suspicious. "So you want to be a girl."

"Y-yeah..."

"You wish you were a girl."

"Yeah...!" Venus looks determined.

"Do you know what that means? In our world there's no such thing as wanting to be. We don't wish, we are. We make it true. Venus... you ARE a girl."

Venus gasps, and doesn't know what to think.

"She's right." Jupiter speaks up. "If no one else wants it to be real, we'll force it upon them. That's what I learned from you two." She smiles.

Venus begins crying. She can't stop the tears from coming down. Neptune's kindness made her do that, and now there's no stopping. Jupiter's new resolve feels like a breath of fresh air, and it couldn't feel better. Venus sees the light now. She smiles. When she begins wiping her tears with one hand, Neptune grabs her other one. Once Venus is done, Jupiter thinks of doing the same.

She goes to snap her hair tie, but stops in her tracks. Neptune notices, and she looks furious. "Show me your hand." She demands. Jupiter is hesitant but complies. Then Neptune grabs both hair ties.

She ties one around her own hair, and the other around Venus's hair, making a ponytail for each. "There. Now you won't ever do that bullshit again."

"Uhh!" Jupiter doesn't know what to do.

"I know, you know? That you do that shit whenever you wanna touch someone? Fuck that, you touch whenever you damn well please."

"Actually... it's not just that." She looks down. "Truth is, it's not just when touching. It's also... you know, haha." She can't say it.

But Neptune can. "Gay thoughts?" Venus bursts out laughing.

"Wellllll... yeah!" Jupiter giggles too.

Neptune is quick to change the spotlight. "And you Venus? You like girls?"

"Umm, yeah actually!"

"Good! We're all lesbians then!"

Jupiter gasps, but then Venus turns to her confused. "You didn't know??"

"YOU KNEW??!"

"Um, obviously???"

"Girls, girls, calm down. There's enough Neptune for the both of you." She grins deviously.

"What are you even talking about??" Venus even raised her voice.

It wasn't long before they decided to walk towards the city again. As they chatted away, the Devil could only smile. She thought,

"If you refuse to go to his world, and won't come to mine, then let me in, girls, let's make the world a place for all of us. Let's bring them hell."

[vampiregirl1797]

Time Travel & Epic Loves Chapter Two

Gif Not Mine

Series Masterlist

My Masterlist

Warnings: mentions of Klaus being abused by Mikael, mentions of murder, a little smut between Klaus and Arianna, nothing too graphic though.

Word count: 4,516

Of course I needn’t have worried—by they time we got to the feast Nik was happily dancing, with Tatia. I felt my face harden into a glare as I watched the bitch laughing and joking with my husband. Of course my anger was irrational seeing as he didn’t know he was my husband but that was beside the point. 

‘If she wasn’t needed for the spell I would happily compel her to set herself on fire.’ I growled in annoyance. 

Katherine let out a surprised laugh from beside me, ‘I wouldn’t blame you if you did.’  

I followed her gaze over to where she was staring at Elijah; surprisingly he was watching her too, instead of the bitch dancing with his brother. She seemed reluctant to leave me but I shooed her away assuring her I could take care of myself. I sat down on a nearby log and tried not to watch Nik conspicuously, but eventually he caught my eye. It was only for a split second, but it was enough. The light-hearted party atmosphere didn’t match my mood and I decided that I’d had enough of torturing myself with Tatia’s hands all over the man I loved. I told Katherine I was leaving and headed into the woods and just walked, fighting the unbearable sadness that was crushing me.  

This isn’t your Nik. This all happened before you were even born. He’s a thousand years old of course he has been in love with others before you. This isn’t your time and your Nik is waiting for you in the future.  

I came to a stop when I reached a river. After a moments hesitation I stripped off my dress and shoes before stepping into the water, completely naked. I always found being in water was incredibly peaceful and serene. The water settled around me as I floated on top and I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of being completely weightless. My breathing levelled out and honestly, I could have fallen asleep with how relaxed I was, but my peaceful mood shattered when I heard a twig breaking not far from me. I jolted and fell underneath the water before my head broke through the surface and I scanned the trees for the culprit. 

‘Hello?’ I said a little unsurely; I could hear a heartbeat but I didn’t want to get out of the water to confront who it was because I was …naked.  

‘I’m sorry, I saw you leave and thought I would offer you an escort back to your hut, I didn’t mean to impose on your privacy.’ Nik answered, stepping out from behind one of the trees and looking more earnest than I had ever seen him, though his cheeks were tinted red, much to my amusement. 

I smiled sincerely and bit my lip to hold back a chuckle. I was definitely going to tease him about this when I got home, but I couldn’t bear myself to do that to him now—this Nik had the desire to be strong and sure of himself but thanks Mikael that belief was none existent. I refused to make him feel anything other than comfortable and confident. 

‘I’ll forgive you under one condition.’ I teased light heartedly; my smile grew when I saw him relax a little. 

‘What would that be?’ he wondered, his eyes shining with curiosity.  

‘Join me.’ I held my breath, suddenly nervous. 

‘Are you sure?’ his surprise was clear, but so was his lust. 

‘I’m sure.’  

The hesitation melted from his gaze and the hunger in his eyes lit my skin alight. He would always have this power over me, no matter what version of him it was. I felt my own gaze darken with desire as I watched him strip, leaving his clothes in a messy pile next to mine. He slowly waded into the water, his gaze never leaving mine and I hoped he could feel how much control he had over me in that moment. He stopped a few inches from me, leaning down so that his head was the only part of him above water, just like me. I gulped and tore my gaze away from his lips; that was when an idea formed in my mind and I grinned. Before he could voice the confusion on his face I bought my hand to the top of his head and dunked him underwater. When he came back up, I couldn’t help but laugh at the surprise on his face and it only grew when he joined in on my amusement. I moved away from him before he could retaliate and I saw the glimmer of challenge in his eyes. 

‘Did you just start a game without telling me the rules?’ Nik murmured a smirk on his lips and I felt my heart flutter at the sight. 

‘Perhaps.’ I bit my lip and glided further away from him. 

‘That doesn’t seem fair to me,’ he pouted making me giggle.  

‘Okay how about we make a new game. If I can evade you, you accompany me to the next feast.’ I smiled at the desire on his face. 

‘And if I catch you? What do I get then?’ 

‘That’s up to you.’ I shrugged, the water around me rippled with the movement.

 ‘You have yourself a deal, Arianna.’ The sound of my name on his lips made me shiver but before I could respond, he inched under water leaving me helpless at seeing where he went.  

Deciding not to tap into my supernatural abilities, to make it fair, I swam backwards idly wondering how long he could hold his breath for. I felt something stroke my calf but before he could grab me I yanked it back and swam forward and hopefully away from him. It was unsettling and exciting how he could move through the water as if he weren’t there, he didn’t disturb the surface and without using my supernatural hearing I had no way of knowing where he was. I was basically swimming in random directions, hoping I wouldn’t get caught when I felt a hand firmly grip my wrist. I pulled on the hold and it led to him popping his head up and levelling me with a smug stare that made me smile in spite of myself. 

‘How did you hold your breath for that long?’ I asked, a little peeved I’d lost.

‘I’ve been playing a similar game with my siblings for years, love.’ He murmured, standing properly and bringing me with him so our chests were now out of the water, ‘I never lose.’ 

‘So what is it you want?’ I asked him, shivering as the air hit my wet skin. 

‘A kiss.’ He said simply, despite trying to look confident I could detect his nerves.  

‘A kiss?’ I smiled and stepped closer.  

His hands came to my waist and mine went to his bare chest. I looked up into his eyes and I couldn’t look away from the intensity in them. I knew that he didn’t care for me, and that was okay. I assumed Tatia had rejected him and he wanted someone who wasn’t interested in his brother. I was fine with that person being me, even if it was for the wrong reasons, because I loved him and was willing to take what he was happy to give. So without further hesitation I lifted my lips to his and I kissed him.  

As soon as our lips connected it felt like a fuse inside of me exploded, heating my body with pure want. His hands wrapped around me, pulling my body flush against his. My hands went to his long blonde curls and fused his lips closer to mine, deepening the kiss. I felt his growing arousal and dropped my hold to his shoulders and used it as leverage to hoist myself up, wrapping my legs around his waist. I felt goose bumps rise on my skin as his hands went to my ass in order to support my weight. His lips came away from mine and went to my neck; when I heard his sporadic breathing I realised that he needed the air. My back arched when he found the special spot behind my ear and it was then I realised I was being placed onto something solid. My eyes snapped open and I registered that he had placed me on the bank, but the sight of him in between my legs with the stars shining above him was enough for me to not care where I was. I pulled him back to my lips, enjoying the way he groaned when I slipped my tongue into his mouth.  

I almost growled when he pulled away but when I saw his earnest gaze, I smothered my frustration.  

‘Are you sure you want to do this?’ he whispered and my heart fluttered again. 

‘I’m sure.’ I answered instantly. 

He smiled and I returned it before he pushed himself inside of me. His head fell to my shoulder as he tried to collect himself and I dug at the earth beneath me, not wanting to break his skin when I knew it wouldn’t heal. His hips moved against mine at a pace that wasn’t too fast or slow, wasn’t too rough or gentle it was perfect. When his blunt teeth bit into the crook of my neck I was done for and falling over the edge whilst whispering his name. He followed closely behind and when he was done he collapsed beside me. We both lay there in silence for a moment, catching our breath. I waited for the regret or guilt to wash over me, but it never happened. I knew that was because this might not have technically been the Nik who loved me, but I loved him more than I could put into words, no matter what version I met. Although that didn’t mean that it didn’t sting knowing all this was to him was a distraction while Tatia went after his brother.  

‘You are exquisite.’ Nik murmured so quietly, I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to hear him or not. 

I looked over, smiling shyly at the intense way he was looking at me, ‘as are you, Niklaus.’  

‘Call me Nik.’ He said softly, caressing the side of my face. 

‘Nik, as much as I wish I could stay here with you… I should get back before Katarina sends out a search party.’ I sighed regretfully. 

‘When can I see you again?’ He asked, his arm behind his head as he watched me get dressed. 

‘You know where I am,’ I sent him a flirty smile over my shoulder before making my way back to Anaya’s hut.    

Living with the witch couldn’t be a permanent solution; both Katherine and I knew that. All it would take is one touch for her to realise that we’re not human and potentially what we were sent back here to stop. I would run the idea of building our own hut by Katherine later, but for now we’d have to be careful.  

The next day Katherine and I left Anaya to work in peace and went to feed. We repeated the same process as yesterday before making our way to the main part of the village, wondering thorough the crowd and watching how happy and carefree everyone seemed to be. We talked about my suggestion and Katherine agreed that having our own space would be for the best. We managed to gather some supplies, but we still needed the wood for the structure. I offered to chop it down myself but Katherine pointed out how odd that would be seeing as men generally did the heavy lifting in this time—we would have to ask for help. She ended up corralling a few of her admirers and getting them to do it for us. I was surprised that we didn’t have to use compulsion, but Katherine told me that they were more than likely getting a few favours in for us in case they decided to court one of us. The thought of that made me cringe, but otherwise I didn’t comment.  

The hut was finished within three days and after telling Anaya about it she assured us that if anyone asked she would explain that we were her acquaintances. In that time, we didn’t see any of the Mikaelsons, well except for Kol. He came to us a few times as we watched the men work, complaining about his father refusing to let him practice witchcraft and pushing him into fighting like his other brothers. After venting he was back to his usual self, joking around, flirting and telling us about teasing his brothers and sister. Katherine and I were more than a little disappointed that a certain couple of Mikaelson’s didn’t come to see us, but then again we weren’t all that surprised. I may have had an incredible night with Nik, but I knew at the time I was just a distraction from Tatia wondering over to Elijah. And if I hadn’t realised it then, I would have now, thanks to the radio silence.  

‘I can’t believe they’re both chasing after that tramp.’ Katherine grumbled from her stool.  

‘We only got here a few days ago and they’ve spoken to us once. They’ve been obsessed with her for a lot longer, Katy.’ I told her, my voice a mixture of amused and annoyed. 

‘How much longer?’ she rested her chin on her balled up fist.  

‘A thousand years, give or take.’ I chuckled when she glared at me, but after a moment she relented and let out a small laugh.  

‘Well what are we supposed—,’ her question was drowned out by the sound of a blood curdling scream. 

I didn’t even think about it and I was out of the door before Katherine could finish shouting my name. It was coming from the Mikaelson’s hut and it wasn’t letting up. My supernatural hearing made it echo in my ears and vibrate in my bones. I needed it to stop.  

‘Arianna?’ I looked up to see Elijah walking over to me with Kol beside him. 

Both of their expressions were wrinkled with pain as if they were suffering with Nik. 

‘What’s happening?’ I whispered, already knowing the answer. 

‘Niklaus—he—,’ Elijah seemed to be struggling for words and the scream that cut through the air made my temper flare up.  

‘He’s being punished by our father.’ Kol said blankly, but I could read the worry in his eyes.

 ‘We need to stop him.’ I took a step forward but Elijah gripped my wrist and pulled me to a standstill. 

‘I do not think that is wise—,’ his jaw snapped shut when I yanked my arm out of his hold. 

‘You might be content to stand here and listen to this, Elijah, but I’m not.’ I growled, fighting to keep my vampire face at bay. 

‘I’ll help you.’ I felt some of the tension ease out of my shoulders at the sound of Katherine’s voice. 

‘I’ll compel one of the villagers to be looking for Mikael. You just need to tell him that he’s needed to discuss a hunting trip.’ She whispered in my ear, preventing Kol and Elijah from overhearing. 

I nodded and winced as another scream cut through the air. Katherine turned and ran at human speed until she was out of sight, then I heard the whoosh that assured me her task would soon be complete.  

‘Kol go to Anaya and ask her for herbs for pain and a salve for healing.’ I said, pleased when he nodded and ran straight away, ‘when I tell Ester Mikael is needed, I need you to distract her so I can get him back to my hut. Can you do that?’ I couldn’t have kept my hatred towards Elijah out of my tone if I tried. 

‘Yes.’ He nodded solemnly, retreating out of sight as I walked up to the door and knocked.  

I managed to control my expression so I appeared friendly rather than disdainful when Ester opened the door. Her indifferent expression only added to my anger and wasn’t helping me keep up the charade.  

‘Hello, how can I help you?’ she asked, looking me over critically. 

‘A man from the village, he was looking for Mikael. I was told he would be here?’ I murmured, knowing anything louder would reveal my fury. 

‘He is. Do you know what it is about?’ she glanced in the direction of the screaming, but the casualness behind it made me want to slap her. It was as if she was just checking on her children playing rather than if her husband was still torturing her child. 

‘Something about hunting. It sounded urgent.’ I said, stepping back and gesturing over my shoulder, ‘I should get back.’ 

‘Of course. Thank you for the message.’  Ester yelled after me but she didn’t look in my direction. 

I hid behind a nearby tree and waited. The screaming stopped a moment later and Mikael came storming from the hut, looking murderous but determined. I nodded to Elijah and he entered the house next, leaving with Ester. I didn’t know what he said to get her out of the house, but I didn’t care. As soon as my hearing assured me that everyone was far enough away I flashed to the back of the house and walked into the outhouse. I breathed a small sigh of relief that I didn’t need an invitation but my breath left me at the sight I walked in on. Nik was kneeling on the ground with his back to me, revealing the long and deep gashes in his flesh. My hatred towards Mikael grew even more, reaching a completely new level that I couldn’t even begin to put into words. But I pushed it to the back of my mind for the moment and went to kneel beside him, my hand gently enveloping his. When I felt the tremors I rubbed my thumb back and forth comfortingly. 

‘Arianna,’ he whispered, tears in his eyes. I offered him a shaky smile and felt my own tears spill over when he looked away from my gaze, ashamed. 

‘We need to get you out of here, okay?’ I said gently grabbing his forearm and lifting him to stand. He wobbled a little so I reached out and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, but was mindful not to wrap my arm around his waist. 

‘What are you doing?’ he murmured, his voice weak. 

‘You’re going to be okay.’ I told him, walking out of the outhouse and groaning when he passed out from the pain. After I made sure no one was looking, I threw him over my shoulder and flashed to my hut. I gently laid him on the bed so that he was lying on his stomach, and tilted his face to the side to assure he could breathe. My hands tenderly moved through his hair, pulling it away from his face. After taking a breath, I looked again at the gashes on his back, my blood boiling all over again but when he winced, it faded into concern just as fast. I wished I could take his pain and I thought about giving him my blood, but I knew I couldn’t. At least not from my wrist. An idea formed in my mind as Kol and Katherine came rushing into the hut. Kol handed me the salve and pain treatments before taking a seat at our table with Katy, trying not to look at the wounds on his brother’s back.  

‘Thank you.’ I smiled softly, kneeling back by Klaus and applying the salve to his skin.  

‘Shouldn’t I be thanking you?’ Kol murmured. I didn’t turn to face him, continuing with my task and hoping that it was making a difference. 

‘You don’t need to,’ I assured him and I was grateful when Katherine distracted him with idle chatter, preventing him from asking questions I couldn’t answer.  

I was just adding the last of the salve, having liberally covered every inch of his back, when Klaus started to stir. He groaned a little and I stopped him from moving with a gentle hand on his shoulder.  

‘Easy, I still need to cover them up.’ I said, avoiding his inquisitive gaze as I covered up his back with some loose cloth seeing as bandages weren’t a thing in the tenth century. 

‘Okay you can sit up now.’ I told him, wincing as he cried out from the pain.  

I grabbed the tea Anaya had sent over—it was supposed to help with pain and I figured it could help with healing as well. Discretely, I bit into the tip of my index finger and allowed a few drops to spill into the wooden cup. I wiped the blood on my dress and helped him drink all of the tea. 

‘What happened?’ he croaked out when he had finished drinking, clearly not familiar with his surroundings. 

‘Father was punishing you again.’ Kol told him, looking over to his brother with tears in his eyes, ‘Katarina and Arianna were able to create a distraction to get you out.’  

‘Thank you.’ His voice cracked and I took his cup and refilled it with water. 

‘Don’t thank me yet.’ I passed him his drink and started pacing—now I knew he was okay, well as okay as he could be, my rage was simmering again. 

‘Arianna.’ Katherine’s voice was firm but I didn’t spare her a glance. 

‘What’s wrong with her?’ Kol asked. 

‘She’s angry, if she doesn’t get control of it soon…’ She trailed off, already knowing how I would react. How I always reacted when someone hurt the man I loved. 

‘I’m going to kill him.’ I growled, fighting to keep my vampire face under control. 

For once, Kol didn’t have anything sarcastic to say. His eyes widened, his jaw slacked and his eyebrows rose to his hairline. He looked shocked. Under any other circumstances I would have laughed, but I was beyond pissed off. 

‘You know you can’t do that.’ Katherine said calmly, standing from her seat and standing in front of me, bringing my pacing to a halt. 

‘Why not?’ I huffed. 

She just gave me a look that made me roll my eyes, only making my annoyance grow even more.  

‘Father will kill you if you try to oppose him. Especially if it is on Niklaus’ behalf.’ Kol said, almost flinching at the bitter laugh that escaped my mouth. 

‘Believe me, he won’t know what hit him.’ No one missed the promise behind my words, and just before I was about to bolt for the door, someone grabbed my wrist.  

The touch came from the only person who could make the anger inside of me dissipate, at least for the time being. My gaze snapped over to Nik’s and I was entranced by the gratitude and vulnerability I could see shining in his eyes. He tugged my wrist lightly and when I realised what he was trying to do I sat beside him.  

‘I appreciate you wanting to defend my honour, love.’ He murmured, his hand releasing my wrist and brushing my hair back from my face, ‘but I won’t allow you to do this. My father cannot know about your involvement or he will come for you.’ 

‘I hope he does.’ I spat, my flare of hatred fading as he caressed my cheek. 

‘Promise me you won’t make any moves against him, Arianna.’ He whispered, his forehead resting against mine. 

I wanted to ask him why he cared. If he would mourn me if Mikael did kill me for going after him. But the doppelgänger’s place in his life stopped me from asking the questions out loud; I was afraid of the answer. So I simply nodded, silently promising him that I wouldn’t interfere.  

He stared into my eyes for a few more moments, most likely making sure I was being honest before he also nodded, apparently content with my response. He placed a tender kiss to my forehead before Kol and Katherine interrupted the moment. I hadn’t even noticed they had stepped out. 

‘Are we attending the feast?’ Kol asked, grinning cheekily at the moment he had walked in on.

 I rolled my eyes, ‘I’m not interested.’  

‘I’m going. I have a few choice words for Elijah that I would like him to hear.’ Katherine said, casually studying her fingernails.  

‘I don’t wish to go either.’ Nik responded, taking another sip of his water. 

‘Well I’m going, the promise of drama is too sweet to ignore.’ Kol rubbed his hands together happily and chuckled when we all rolled our eyes, not put out by his response.  

After a hug from Katherine and Kol, they departed and headed for the village. For a brief moment it was almost as if we weren’t in a different time. The sounds of Kol and Katherine laughing and joking while Nik and I sat in comfortable silence soothed me. My heart yearned to hear Rebekah join in and for Elijah and Marcel to try and play peacemakers. Nik would drop sarcastic one-liners that would add fuel to the fire just as it was about to be put out. Elijah and Marcel would send him a look of exasperation and my love would just smirk and sit back, watching the bickering’s with amusement. Of course it was never over anything serious. Once there had been a two-hour argument over why the twenties were much better than the nineties. No joke.  

‘What are you thinking about, love?’ Nik asked, breaking me out of my daze. 

I cleared my throat, ‘nothing. How is your back?’ 

‘Surprisingly it feels fine. The salve and tea are working beautifully.’ He smiled softly, ‘thank you.’ 

‘It’s Anaya you should thank,’ I shrugged, standing and not knowing what to do with myself.  

There would normally be a million things I could do to occupy myself. Read, binge watch a new show, listen to music, go shopping, scroll through my phone… obviously those options weren’t available here. 

‘You know what I’m referring to, love.’ He insisted his gaze was burning into my skin as he observed me, not missing a thing. 

‘Don’t mention it.’ I forced a smile and busied myself with folding the clothes I had pulled in from the line not an hour ago. I needed him to stop mentioning it because he was making it harder for me to keep my promise with his constant desire to remind me. 

I glanced up when I didn’t receive a reply and smiled softly when I saw his eyelids drooping. I gently took the cup from his hands and corralled him into lying back down; I pulled the covers up over him and caressed the side of his face before pulling away. The closer I got to him, the harder it was getting to keep the truth from him. What was I going to do?

[anaisfinallywrites]

Day 1 - February 8th “Cupid”

"We should probably put them in a room together to sort their shit out," Scott said thoughtfully.

The whole room was so quiet you can hear a pin drop. Scott looked up to see everyone was looking at him.

"I can't believe you're mentioning this now after all this time. They haven't exactly been subtle since from the very start." Lydia looks decidedly unimpressed with Scott's observation.

"We didn't get along from the beginning, okay? There was a lot of bad blood with him and me, him being passive-aggressively helping while I'm stubborn as hell to not listen to his advice. I'm slow on the uptake, not dumb." Scott retorted defensively.

"Isn't that the reason why we're having this very secret meeting that neither the two of them are present for?" Allison spoke up, trying to defuse the tension. "You can try all you want, princess but Derek is an immovable wall when it comes to Stiles." Erica chirped with way more mischief in her eyes than was necessary.

Boyd sighed a long-suffering sigh. "You can't blame the guy, okay? We all know his track record with relationships."

"We know," everybody chimed in perfect unison.

"Um," a hand was raised tentatively from the tallest guy in the room. "Are we seriously trying to act as Cupid for Derek and Stiles?”

All eyes honed in on the golden-haired cherub looking, boy. "Yes, we are." The answer was unanimously bland.

"What are you going to do? Love potion?" Kira asked sceptically.

"Nope," Scott said with a grimace on his face. "Jennifer Blake. He'll just kill us when he gets his head screwed on straight."

Lydia knocked on the table with her knuckles. "We can't be subtle with the two of them. We need a steamroller to make them see it. Any romantic movie ideas?"

The silence was telling.

"Ugh."

↬

"What are you doing here, Braeden?" Derek greeted the woman carrying a duffel bag in front of his door.

"I thought you said I could save money and stay at your loft whenever," she replied with wide innocent eyes.

He sighed deeply and stepped aside to let her in. "I'm not playing whatever game you're playing."

"Good to know that you know there's a problem." She walked in like she owned the place, dropping her duffel bag at the side of the sofa and sat down gently. "Valentine's Day is like two weeks away."

"Will you be my Valentine's?" He asked sarcastically.

"I'm going to ask Laura," she said, entirely too gleeful.

Derek made a disgusted face as he closed the door.

"So, you still haven't resolved your problem," Braeden stated with exasperation.

"Do you remember that time I nearly sucked out his heart because I don't have one? Well, I do. Vividly so," Derek said darkly, still standing at the door.

"He doesn't blame you. You do know that, right?" She looked at him pointedly. His face darkened considerably. "I blame myself even if he doesn't."

"At least you acknowledge there's something between you two. What with your passive-aggressive baking and Peter's grouchy remarks about his idiot of a nephew." Braeden leaned back on the sofa and surveyed her surroundings like she didn't just make the most profound observation about Derek Hale, Grump Extraordinaire.

Well, it wasn't profound observation. Try as hard as he might, Derek can't completely mask his longing stares and outright staring when it comes to one Stiles Stilinski. And everybody knows except the said object of affection, which is ironic considering the boy was supposed to be as sharp as a bloodhound with a scent and he views information and secrets like the only thing that would sustain him.

"Any plans to ask him out?" Braeden riffled through her duffel.

Derek harrumphed as he made his way to the kitchen. Not that he could hide all that much, open floor plan and everything. 

"I'm thinking about something," he admitted hesitantly.

Braeden made a whooping sound right where she sat.

And Derek proceeds to regret every life decision he made so far.

↬

"You're not supposed to mope about my brother at the freaking kitchen he works in," Laura grouched as Stiles beat aggressively at the batter that's probably unusable by now.

"Who says I'm moping about your brother?" Stiles retorted half-heartedly and stopped beating the abused batter.

"Aliens from outer space would have been privy to your most private thoughts about my brother." She didn't look up from balancing the checkbook.

Stiles snorts. "Ugh, how do I get over this stupid crush? It's worse than before compared to Lydia..." he pouted morosely into the batter.

"You two are entirely hopeless when it comes to anything regarding feelings," Laura commented not unkindly.

"You're - How are you and Braeden?" Stiles changed tack mid-sentence.

"We're good. Better than good, even. I, for a fact, know that she's planning a grand gesture in the very distant future. You, on the other hand," she taps her pen on her bottom lip in thought. "Well, you'll grow old and die alone as long as you don't man up and make a move."

"Well, I'm kinda waiting for your thick-headed brother to make a move actually. The ball is in his court this time around, anyway." Stiles muttered unhappily. Laura made an over the top shocking gasping noise. "Why didn't I know about this? How could I not even have heard a peep of this?!"

"We are very private people," he said seriously. And really, he's not even joking.

↬

And so, the mad dash begins. The pack are conceiving plans to help their assumed oblivious friends while Derek and Stiles are respectively trying to work up the courage or work out a plan to... take the next step. So to speak. 

As one would expect, it leads to some... well, disastrous results.

↬

The bakery is in full rush hour at eleven o'clock in the morning, almost lunchtime for everyone but still early enough to buy brunch to curb the hunger. 

Derek is always working at the bakery, and so is Laura. The only person who doesn't help out is Peter, not that he couldn't cook or bake to save his life but more to the fact that no one wants to put up with the constant "chatter" that comes out of his mouth. The rest of the pack, which consists of Scott, Kira, Boyd, Isaac, Erica, Lydia, Danny, Jackson and Stiles, they work part-time or full-time at the bakery. Laura says it's good bonding time, but really, who was she trying to kid?

Lydia and Scott were trying their best to concoct a plan that would put the two (not so) stubborn idiots in a situation to make them talk to each other, whereas Derek has been trying to work up the courage to go up to Stiles and just be... blunt, he's never been anything but passive-aggressively straightforward, anyhow. Stiles, on the other hand, is trying to make himself available time-wise. So far, every single time Lydia and or Scott manages to corner them, aka giving them space or a controlled environment, Derek is very tempted to take the obvious help. But the rest of the pack is observing with shit-eating grins on their face and so he thought better of it. Laura was resolutely staying out of this gay chicken shit, as she so eloquently puts it, but secretly she's having popcorn with Braeden to see what happens next.

So much for a helpful big sister.

Stiles couldn't take it anymore. He sighed long and loud, stared determinedly at Derek's turned back and just strode towards him. 

The pack held their collective gasps as much as they could during the rush hour, simultaneously helping the customers and stealing glances at their quarry.

"Derek," Stiles said his name quietly. He didn't need to say it out loud because of two reasons. One, Derek had always focused on him whenever he's around, be it his heartbeat or his breathing, Derek is attuned to it. (Stiles would say the hyper fixation is super creepy if he wasn't so gone on the grumpy asshole of a wolf.) Two, he knows he's special to Derek. Stiles doesn't know what it is that makes him special yet, but he will soon enough.

Derek didn't turn around to look at him, still busy with packing the baked goods (?) but his body swayed in his direction for a split second with his head tilted. He's listening even if he pretends he doesn't care.

"Uh, so. Valentine's a few days away. Are we making headway or are we still dancing around it like it's a pit of vipers?" Stiles muttered, careful to make his words audible only to the intended recipient. Luck is, however, on his side because the rest of the wolves in the bakery are still newborn bitten wolves, even if it's been a few months since. Lack of desire for training does wonders for Stiles being sneaky.

Derek finally turned around to face him, eyebrows and lips scrunched in a way that Stiles has long since interpreted as the exasperated 'What the hell are you going on about?' look. He couldn't backpedal fast enough to save his tattered dignity. "I mean, okay then. We'll be friends forever then. There's nothing bad about it. Having you as a friend is better than not having you at all, so if we can just forget this ever happened-"

"Stiles." 

"Uh, yeah?" Stiles asked hesitantly.

"Can we meet in the preserve and continue this conversation? There are too many ears here." Derek pointedly did not look at any of the wolves that surround the bakery.

Stiles took a deep breath. "Uh yeah, sure. No problem."

"You better be there instead of letting your brain run wild with an idea that's most likely untrue," Derek pointed his patented glare at Stiles. "I will hunt you down." Stiles shivered at the threat. Nobody should make a threat sound sexy. Like, seriously. On the other hand, he can concede that he does have a tendency to let his insecurities and doubts get the better of him but, have you seen Lydia Martin and Derek Hale? Anybody's self-esteem would plunge down an abyss and Stiles has been here before, once burnt and twice shy and all that shit. Rejection hurts no matter the better outcome that you got out of it. Lydia Martin as the best friend and sister he never had but wished he did is awesome but Derek is different. Derek is so different that he's probably not on the same planet, in Stiles's honest opinion. 

Derek is still looking at him, the glare softened a little, eyebrows raised up saying 'Are we clear?'.

"Crystal." Stiles nodded like his head was a bobblehead. "I will be there and I assure you that you won't need to hunt me down to get to the bottom of this." His voice cracked embarrassingly at the word.

Derek smirked like a cat with cream.

"Shut up, asshole." Stiles gave his own glare as he turned around to make his way out of the bakery. He ignored the questioning looks from the pack.

Stiles hurried home. He has a possible date to get to. Or just plain ole revelation. Derek is taking a break at one in the afternoon. Stiles only has so much time to ponder how this will end because he's about to get his long-awaited resolution. A few months late, but better late than never.