#bloody slutty and pathetic

[crymsyy]

Bloody, Slutty and Pathetic by WhatMurdah

My version of plant daddy Neville and the death eater b*tch, Pansy <3

ART POLICY

Please DO NOT re-post/re-share my art unless given explicit permission and appropriate credit is given.

No profit should be made from my art. DO NOT re-sell my art.

Please do not alter/remove my signature.

Use for PERSONAL binds is allowed, but only with permission and credit.

[annagaw]

recoloured these horny freaks (inspired by ch 5 of BSP)

[va9art]

“She swung on him. He let her. The crack of her fist against his face, the pain shooting from her knuckles to her wrist— Then Harry and Ron were there, pulling them apart. Malfoy’s perfect nose was crooked, blood gushing over his lips, blood smeared across his teeth because he was smiling, laughing in her face. He wasn’t resisting. Ron—the tallest and most thickly muscled of them—had the easiest job. It was Harry—wrapping Hermione up while she nonsensically yelled “I keep my promises, Malfoy!”—who had to plant his feet and jerk her back.”

Excerpt from and Art based on: ‘BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC’, by WhatMurdah

I had to join the trend and create some fanart because this fanfic has me on a chokehold.

I’ve taken some “creative licence” for Draco; the fanfic has him wearing a signet most likely on his pinky, but I wasn’t vibing with it; his tattoo should be on his right but we would have lost it for the art; and lastly, he was not meant to wear a heavy cloak, but alas, he looks delicious in one 🤷‍♀️

[omniluci-estumbra]

Draco is never beating those rumors 😂

[kkreadsstuff]

*giggles excitedly and kicks my little feet* guess who's about to get into BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC by WhatMurdah?

ME, bitch 🥰🥰🥰

it was published over about 5 months in 2024 (so it's complete obvs, i don't read WIPs sorry not sorry), is 21 chapters, and just over 195K words! so a nice sized fic that i'm about to devour like a starving man, tysm.

i am and have truly been looking forward to this fic ever since someone on reddit said they have never seen draco simp and pine and be stupid for hermione harder than he ever has in this fic. i think they said she slaps him in public and then he is just like, "omg she fucking touched me!!!!!!!! *nuts*" like... LMAO yes bitch. yes pls! and then that possessive draco tag is staring at me like 👀😈 and i'm staring back like 👁👄👁💖

this will be my FIRST EVER marriage law fic and i am so happy that it is this one. i can't wait to see what happenssssss. i have tried to avert my eyes from the hype, summaries, think pieces and such because i'm not trying to set myself up or know too much or be disappointed or go off anyone else's interpretation, i just want to let the fic take me where it's gonna take me!!!! i want to scream, cry, giggle, pine, laugh, throw up, feel the feels, etc. my body is ready!!! *rubs hands together vigorously*

summary:

“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three. When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press. Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body. (With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)

tags: Enemies to Lovers, Slow Burn, Marriage law, Forced Marriage, Post-War, Angst, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pining/Possessive Draco Malfoy, Morally Grey Hermione Granger; rating: EXPLICIT

very interested by the pairings outside of D/Hr which are Pansy/Neville, and Theo/Everyone lmfao we LOVE a slutty theo, we truly do. i can't wait to see the friendship between him and draco in this one!!! i love their friendship so so so soooo much. (sidenote, i might have to read some theo/harry fics soon enough but that's neither here nor there) ANYWAYS apparently neville has big dick energies in BSP so i'm ready for that. crookshanks is innis bitch where he BELONGS, i love me some crookshanks i truly do.

anything else...? nope i don't think so LET'S MF GOOOO

[marisajart]

did a little bloody, slutty & pathetic crossover with please, please, please 😘

[venus-invixen]

Malfoy had been lounging in shirtsleeves and trousers in the sitting area of the bedroom, by the fireplace, tea and breakfast trays waiting. His hair had been brushed back from his forehead, silver cufflinks in place—the Lord of the Manor once more.

She’d sat down as her cup filled with tea. “So,” she’d said, “you are blackmailing six members of the Wizengamot.” 

Malfoy had smirked, and her chest and back had tingled all over, like something important was happening, like sometimes bad things happened and they couldn’t be stopped.

“And once I tell you the details, Mrs. Malfoy,” he’d said, “we are blackmailing six members of the Wizengamot.”

Draco Malfoy, from Bloody, Slutty and Pathetic by WhatMurdah (AO3)

—

Incredible art by Crymsy on Instagram

P.S.—I have a weakness for De Selby pt II coded men.

[jujube-ee]

Highly influenced by a certain famous fic and reference take from an amazing photographer Wintam0119

[balebeingbale]

my unexpected deviation into dramione fandom resulted in this

[babywhosaid]

RATING (DRAMIONE) FANFICS I READ THIS YEAR

Many years ago I used to read a lot of fanfics/AUs of Julie and The Phantons (btw, I'll never forgive you, netflix), but this year I got to read dramione and I have to say, I was obsessed. I read three in the beginning of the year, stayed on an hiatus and than BOOM! came back with full force.

A couple of days ago, I was talking with my friend and decided that would be so fun to write about what I read, but I have such a bad memory and I would like to write it with details, what won't happen (LoL)!

I read about 67 stories, I'm currently reading the 68 and I appreciate every single person who dedicated their time to write and create such beautiful stories. Between them there were a few that I believe I should comment on it (in positive and negative aspects).

Before I continue, I believe it's important to say that the stories I read might have some delicated topics that I don't recommend for people under 18 or are uncomfortable with it. I don't necessarily mean sexual topics, that I will mention for sure, but also topics that can trigger your mental health. So, please, if any of what I just said fits you, I recommend stop reading this post! Take care of yourselves!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Now that we have talked about that, let's go!

DRACO MALFOY AND THE MORTIFYING ORDEL OF BEING IN LOVE by isthisselfcare

https://archiveofourown.org/works/34500952/chapters/85870804

One of the first fanfics that I read this year was the amazing, the beautiful, the extraordinary story "Draco Malfoy and The Mortifying Ordel of Being In Love" by isthisselfcare.

I have to start saying that I'm obsessed with stories that have strong names and this one has. In this one, Hermione Granger is a healer who has a dangerous project that only a few people know what is it about, because of the dangerous of it, an auror was assigned for her protection and can you guess who it was? Yes, the one and only, Draco Malfoy, ladies and gentlemen.

What I like about it, it's that the author don't make it their contact immediate as if they need to see each other 24/7 right in the beginning, by the opposite, it grows through the story, specially when she needs to travel because of her project and he needs to go with her (yes, that makes me giggle... a lot), in those travels, they spent a lot of time together and we get to see they going to some adventures together. In the books, we see hermione being the smartest one, but draco isn't very far behind her.

Hermione is AMAZING, she's not only a healer, but algo a doctor. Draco is INCREDIBLY, he's also very sassy. (Tell your cat I said psipsipsipsi)

Another point is the beautiful fanarts in the chapters, it brings life to what isthisselfcare wrote.

Is it HEA? Yes, it is!

Is there smut? I think it has, yes.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

ISOLATION by bexchan

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23461513/chapters/56242591

I believe that Isolation by baxchan it's the most accurate option for what could have happen on the book "Harry Potter and The Deatlhy Hollows". For this one, we have to come back for the end of "Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince".

Draco Malfoy is in dangerous after the astronomy tower and Snape (and I think that McGonagall) create a plan to hide him. Where? Well, of course it's in hogwarts, but not anywhere, no, no. On Hermione's private monitors bedroom.

What I like in this story is that they don't have secret crush, at least I don't believe so (please, I love that trope, but not for this fic) and Draco Malfoy is a little shit, he still believe in blood supremacy and all those horrible things we was raised to believe. Hermione is also not very please to those news.

This fics happens through the last book, hermione in deathly hollows is supposed to be with the boys hunting horcruxes, but she had to stay in this fic.

I like that through the story, we can see Draco changing, questioning his beliefs. Hermione also has to go through what she created of him in her mind. It's very well constructed.

If you like forced proximity, this is for you. I love it, a 100% recommend.

Is it HEA? Yes!

Does is have smut? But of course.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

BLOODY, SLUTTY AND PATHETIC by WhatMurdah

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52884502/chapters/133769302

As I said before, I do love stories names that makes an impact, and WhatMurdah has done just that. Well, please, believe me when I say that Draco Malfoy is all of those things and we are here for it.

In this one, the Minister of Magic creates a law that people have to get married for a reconciliation in the magic world. Guess who gets married? Of course, Draco and Hermione.

What is very important in this one is that her "mudblood" scar hurts her a lot and she finds out how to make it better, I won't get into details so I don't spoil it.

I like it how the author constructed the marriage and even tho I don't remember much (not because I didn't like, but because I forget things), I remember I had a really good time reading it.

Is HEA? YES!

Does it have smut? Baby, WhatMurdah didn't put slutty in the tittle for nothing! *wink wink*

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

A YEAR AND A DAY by Pubella

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31026083/chapters/76641353

Can we bring Daddy Draco, please? Yes, let's to this. As you can see, I'm a fool for a single dad trope, in this fic, he's not exactly single, he's getting a divorce (bye, bye, Astoria) and wants to keeps he's son, Scorpius. Narcisa, as the wise woman that she is, thinks it's better for him to marry someone and who's better than the golden girl? No one. Hermione is going through a rough path and kind of don't have other options and Narcisa's ofter becomes very appealing as she thinks about.

I LOVE Scorpius, but in this fics he's brilliant and he's relationship with Hermione is amazing.

Another thing that I was amazed by was the epilogue, I confess that epilogues in general always go in the same way, but in this fic, I was positively (and emotional) surprised by it.

Hermione and Draco's relationship isn't good in the beginning, and I love how it grows. What can I say? I like the yearning, the doubts, they questioning feelings and while you read you are screaming inside saying "STOP THAT NONSENSE AND KISS"

Is it HEA? YES and I cried.

Does it have smut? I do believe so.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

MEASURE OF A MAN by inadaze22

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26523892/chapters/64648648

There are a few fics that are very popular in the dramione fandom and Measure of a Man is one of them AND FOR A REASON.

Let me start saying that this fics is so so sooooo long, it's not a bad thing tho. Inadaze22 wrote 3 acts, they being nothing, something and everything. I like her choice in acts because it makes easier to see and understand when things change.

Narcisa Malfoy has dementia and Hermione Granger ends up being her healer (please, it's not a spoiler), that makes her get in contact with Draco Malfoy, but it's not a fast burn, but the opposite. They contact starts to grow.

Through the story he see Draco as a man, a father and a son, how much he has changed before the story started but algo through it. Hermione is not perfect and I'm here for it. I will defend woman's right and wrongs. What I like it that they both calls each other's bullshit and I think that honest that they develop is beautiful.

In this one, we have Scorpius, he's a child going through so much, I like how the author shows how much the parents' figures have an impact on a child's development. (Oh, please, let's give a round of applause to the emotionally supported cactus)

This fic is real, it brings pain, love, suffering, healing, acceptance, forgiveness and also mourning. That does not include necessarily the couple here. I did wish sometimes for more fluff, but that's on me, not in the author, this story was not about that and I love it how it was written.

Is it HEA? YES!

Does it have smut? Yes and also NSFW art.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I read many others, but for this post, I decided to only talk about those. I tried to not give many spoilers or get into dedicated topics.

I hope you all liked and please let me hear your thoughts!

[bexdear]

My recent personal book bind of Bloody, Slutty, & Pathetic by WhatMurdah with original cover designs 🩸🥰

[crymsyy]

"Immediately, dear."

Bloody, Slutty and Pathetic by What Murdah

Here's a lil fanart of my BSP Draco because I love him so <3

ART POLICY

Please DO NOT re-post/re-share my art unless given explicit permission and appropriate credit is given.

No profit should be made from my art. DO NOT re-sell my art.

Please do not alter/remove my signature.

Use for PERSONAL binds is allowed, but only with permission and credit.

[annagaw]

DRACO "NOBODY TALK TO MY WIFE" MALFOY, EVERYBODY

(Yeah I’m making more bsp fan art, what of it, this is from chapter six)

[yourbiggestfan2020]

Draco is down BAD in this fic.

Tiktok @ the smut couch podcast

[omniluci-estumbra]

Bloody, Slutty and Pathetic Draco you’ll always be famous to me ❣️💚🫠

“He raised his head and—his muzzle was bloody. Fresh blood, bright red against his pale skin.”

hornier version on my Twitter

ff: Bloody, Slutty and Pathetic by WhatMurdah on AO3

[mexicanpadfoot]

2024 Fanfic Journal

I tried, gimme a star sticker please ⭐️

Last year was fun because not only I joined the Marauders fandom and stopped experiencing happiness, I also tried my hand at being a ✨thoughtful journaling girlie✨ which obviously didn’t last long lol. But regardless of my lack of artistic skills, I sorta finished my calendar overview!

These are not all the fics I read, they’re only the long-ish ones (over 40k I believe) that could count as a book if someone asked me why I spend four hours a day reading. I read the fantabulous amount of 124 fics and books, mostly fics, during the year. Each square in the calendar represents a day, so I can recall how much I read that day.

Now for the Hall of Fame! 🪄

These fics are my personal crème de la crème that I either read or reread during 2024. I’ll go out on a limb and recommend every single one of them because they’re outstanding, pieces of literary perfection, holy scripture. Of course I just started out with the Marauders in 2024, but there’s also some S-tier Dramione in there. Here are the links, in no particular order because, how could I?

Chew me up but don’t spit me out by damagecontrol.jpg, Jegulus.

Stripper!Regulus and Sugar Daddy James? Latino James, who makes me feral? Black brothers angst? Gender discoveries, euphoria, found family, drama because of course, and also great smut? This fix was like if Nic waddled into my brain, wringed out the story I didn’t deserve but 1000% needed, and clicked post. Also the epilogue is in Jalisco, Mexico, where I’m from? Insane 20/10.

But what a way to go by R33sesPieces, Wolfstar.

I believe this is Crack treated seriously? ITS SO GOOD! Remus is a serial murderer, he marries nasty rich old dudes and offs them. His next target? Sirius Black, of course. Except Sirius totally knows and it turns him on? Murder attempts as foreplay should be added to the tags. It’s funny. It’s hot. It has idiots in love that are trying to kill each other. The side characters are up to no good either. It’s amazing. Also, Reese is a delight, their notes and answers to comments are so thoughtful and make me feel like I’m reading something my friend wrote.

Dear Your Holiness by MollyMaryMarie, Wolfstar, some Jily.

This fic gave me total Fleabag season 2 vibes. If that isn’t enough to sell you on it, Priest!Remus and Seductress-from-hell!Sirius should. The slow burn slow burns soooo good, there are discussions of religion, identity and doubt in a way that wrapped my little deconstructed from religion heart in a warm blanket, but it’s also half secret identity, half texting fic? It’s to die for!

Only the Brave by Solmussa, Jegulus, Wolfstar.

I don’t think I need to tell you about Only the Brave. It’s dark. It’s heart-wrenching. Regulus is a certified badass in this. James, as always, is a simp for that man. It has one of my favorite “Sirius finds out” in the whole universe. The characters feel like adults, like people, not just characters, you know? Incredible. I actively fight my tbr every day to go back in and reread.

Crimson Rivers by bizarrestars, Jegulus, Wolfstar, Dorlene.

I actually resisted reading this one for the longest time (five months is a long time, they said) because crossovers have never really been my thing. BOY WHAT A DISSERVICE. The Hunger Games is an amazing series and Harry Potter is not, but damn does Zar deliver. I really know my Hunger Games lore and still I was on the edge of my seat. I went through so much pain. It’s beautiful. Also, James with a knife kink? Hilarious.

Circle of the sphinx by SanguisDominia, Dramione.

A new pureblood terrorist group on the rise, a stuck Potions Mistress and teacher at Hogwarts Hermione, a secret society that protects its members identity with strange, obscure magic, vampires, grand balls and Hermione having to learn how to ride a broom? This consumed me for four days, I ignored all my other responsibilities. The reveals? The animagus secrets? That one murder omg iykyk?

BLOODY, SLUTTY AND PATHETIC by WhatMurdah, Dramione.

Holy shit this was hot. Bantery. Believable. Grown adult characters dealing with a shitty Marriage Law. But there’s also Black family magic going on, bribery, fuckery, Theodore Nott being a little shit, Neville being a badass Plant DaddyTM. It’s so fun, they even gaslight the press in this. 11/10.

Love and other historical accidents by PacificRimbaud, Dramione.

Time travel Regency(ish) AU! Wearing cravats! Pretending to be siblings! leeching off a poor old man Idiot 1 and Idiot 2 claim is their cousin! I ADORE the cousin with all my heart. Messing around with Time Turners! Scandalizing the ton! Broom racing! Petty Jealousy! Take your pick, it’s all done perfectly in this. I found it so dammingly endearing. I hold it close to my heart.

Divination for skeptics by OlivieBlake, Dramione, PottNott.

I’m a depressed bitch, humor isn’t usually my thing. This one made me CACKLE so much I had to get my inhaler. Best banter ever. Everyone is deranged in this. The PottNott is not what you’re expecting but also it’s exactly what you think you’ll get after reading a couple pages. Theo attempts to rob Gringotts just to get Harry’s attention. It has one of my favorite confession scenes ever.

Draco Malfoy and the Mortyfing Ordeal of Being in Love by isthisselfcare, Dramione.

Another classic I’ve reread so many times. Killer nuns, lycanthropy, toodling about the country side, human on mushroom violence. Also Brigitte got mainstream published? So proud of that girlie.

Final thoughts 🕺🏻

Im excited to do this again now that I’ve got an idea of what it actually entails, and now that I’ve read most of the very popular fics in the fandom. I’m having a blast reading smaller authors and discovering more amazing works. I’m delving into other fandoms also and reading WIPs with more hope and strength because damn it’s hard but also authors are the backbone of the community and they deserve to be hyped while they write, for free, for us!

This year I’ll be using erins_escapism ‘s fanfic tracker spreadsheet as well to document shorter fics I read as well. It’s incredibly well done, check them out on instagram if you’re curious!

I’d love any recs you’d like to share, specifically Drarry and wlw ships that are not Dorlene, for some reason I just don’t vibe with those two girlies. And if you see something too freaky no you didn’t, thank you very mucho.

Don’t like, don’t read, support creators, break a leg, you know the drill. I download most if not all of what I read so if you need help finding something or getting a file, send me a message :)

Love you, funny people on the internet that sometimes like what I post 🩷✨