#bloodaxe and ironhammer

[dimity-lawn]

[abomination-unto-nuggan]

She could still sing the part of Bloodaxe in the dwarf opera Bloodaxe and Ironhammer.

[stupidphototricks]

I love the Discworld dwarfs.

"Sam!" said Lady Sybil, advancing through the throng. "They're going to perform `Bloodaxe and Ironhammer'! Isn't that wonderful?" "Er..." "It's an opera, sir," Cheery whispered. "Part of the Koboldean Cycle. It's history. Every dwarf knows it by heart. It's about how we got laws, and kings... and the Scone, sir." "I sang the part of Ironhammer when we did it at finishing school," said Lady Sybil. "Not the full five-week version, of course. It'd be marvelous to see it done here. It's really one of the great romances of history." "Romances?" said Vimes. "Like... a love story?" "Yes. Of course." "Bloodaxe and Ironhammer were both... er... weren't both..." Vimes began. "They were both dwarfs, sir," said Cheery. "Ah. Of course." Vimes gave up. All dwarfs were dwarfs. --- Sir Terry Pratchett, The Fifth Elephant

[hermitmoss]

Aria from Bloodaxe and Ironhammer, “The Fifth Elephant” // Assorted William de Worde and the story of the Times, “The Truth”

[scribefindegil]

I still really want to do a Sybil Ramkin cosplay, and my plans are elaborate enough that I might want to enter it into a masquerade for funsies. Which means I have thought about music choice and the two options are:

"We Can Rule You Wholesale." Full orchestral/operatic recording is available. Thematically appropriate since I really want to lean into the "the woman was a city" motifs with my costume. A song that exists and is in English.

Write and record my own version of Ironhammer's "Ransom" song from traditional Dwarvish opera "Bloodaxe and Ironhammer," including making up/adapting enough of a conlang to have the lyrics in Dwarvish. Would be a lot of work and also utterly incomprehensible to every other person in the universe, BUT it would be extremely funny To Me.

[carriagelamp]

you know, one Discworld story I always kind of wanted to read was the story/opera of Bloodaxe and Ironhammer, written in the same vein as "Where Is My Cow" or "World Of Poo". The way it's presented and hinted at in The Fifth Elephant intrigues me every time and I would have loved to have seen it written out... I suppose maybe it's one of those things that's better when it's only implied and you get to fill it in with your own imagination, but the sheer drama of it seems so fun

[thestuffedalligator]

A weirdly recurring trope I keep seeing associated with dwarves in fantasy is the idea that their culture is heavily associated with singing

Dwarves in Middle-Earth have a heavily oral history (Song of Durin, Far Over the Misty Mountains Cold). Dwarves in Discworld worship the opera Bloodaxe and Ironhammer to the point that Sybil can sing a part of it to completely overthrow dwarf law. Diggy Diggy Hole has over 43 million views on YouTube. Disney’s Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs has three songs sung by the dwarfs

It’s at the point that, while I mostly don’t think the depiction of one fantasy race should be directly compared to another author’s depiction of the same race, a part of me definitely believes that if your dwarves don’t sing, you’ve missed the point of dwarves

[absolxguardian]

“Bloodaxe and Ironhammer were both…er…weren’t both…” Vimes began. 

“They were both dwarfs, sir,” said Cheery.

This has the same energy as “They’re lesbians, Herold.”

[rem-ir]

I’m thinking about the fictional opera Bloodaxe and Ironhammer, specifically about how Ironhammer is apparently a soprano role. I reject the idea that traditionalist discworld dwarfs would be okay with saying, oh Ironhammer was the woman, since they are BIG TIME uncomfortable with revealing gender, especially women revealing gender.

So I have three possible explanations:

1) the score has multiple versions. Arrangements? Whatever they call it in music-ese, it’s a choose-your-own-voice-part thing. Also, it’s super easy to translate between bass and soprano because it’s just a whole octave. So depending on the director (and if there’s a different word for the director of an opera, do let me know) you could have soprano Bloodaxe with bass Ironhammer, or bass Bloodaxe and soprano Ironhammer, or both of them as the same.

2) Dwarfs just have more androgynously-pitched voices than humans do. They’re a different species. If all dwarves grow beards, there’s no reason all dwarves shouldn’t also have, on average, higher voices than humans.

3) (the sexy one) Ironhammer and Bloodaxe are both trouser roles for mezzo-sopranos and this post is ended because now I’m picturing Sybil Ramkin-Vimes in menswear and I need a bit of a lie-down about it

[patricianandclerk]

also this

Moist von Lipwig: My dad is cold-blooded. He once shushed a kid during Bloodaxe and Ironhammer. That actually happened. We were at Bloodaxe and Ironhammer at the Ankh-Morpork Opera House, and there was a five-year-old behind us going, “Look, it’s a dwarf! Look, it’s another dwarf!” And Vetinari turned around and said, “Are you going to talk the entire time?” He’s my hero.

[nezoriy]

Lord Rust: Vimes has upset all respectable families and guild leaders once again

Vetinari: This is so sad Drumknott hand me Bloodaxe and Ironhammer sheet music

[cat-boy-tits]

But Corporal Littlebottom is the best scene-of-crime officer I"ve got, and so I want her to come along with us."

"You"ve made your point, your excellency. Graphically, as always. Fetch her, then."

Vimes found Cheery standing back to back, or at least back to knees, with Detritus. They were surrounded by a ring of the curious. Whenever Detritus raised his hand to sip his drink the nearby dwarfs jumped back hurriedly.

"Where are we going, sir?"

"Nowhere."

"Ah. That sort of place."

"But things are looking up," said Vimes. "Dee has discovered a new pronoun, even if he does spit it."

"Sam!" said Lady Sybil, advancing through the throng, "they"re going to perform Bloodaxe and Ironhammer! Isn"t that wonderful?"

"Er..."

"It"s an opera, sir," Cheery whispered. "Part of the Koboldean Cycle. It"s history. Every dwarf knows it by heart. It"s about how we got laws, and kings... and the Scone, sir."

"I sang the part of Ironhammer when we did it at finishing school," said Lady Sybil. "Not the full five-week version, of course. It"ll be marvellous to see it done here. It"s really one of the great romances of history."

"Romances?" said Vimes. "Like... a love story?

"Yes. Of course."

"Bloodaxe and Ironhammer were both... er... weren"t both..." Vimes began.

"They were both dwarfs, sir," said Cheery.

"Ah. Of course." Vimes gave up. All dwarfs were dwarfs. If you tried to understand their world from a human point of view it all went wrong.

- The Fifth Elephant, Terry Pratchett

The absolute idea that Terry Pratchett who wrote “we have extra pronouns here” and created an entire narrative for dwarves challenging gender expectations would ever, ever be a TERF. Not my Sir Pterry.

[syntheticcathedral]

Bloodaxe and Ironhammer! It’s been a while, I think my headcanons about them have changed quite a bit. 

what the hell, Ironhammer

[patricianandclerk]

*hetero voice*: OH NO !!!! WHAT IF THE TWO PEOPLE IN BLOODAXE AND IRONHAMMER WERE TWO ~WOMEN~! OR TWO ~MEN~!

everybody with a brain: they’re dwarves?

*hetero voice*: BUT WHAT IF--

everybody with a brain: looks into the camera like they’re on the office

[rem-ir]

Ok only because you asked @cakesandfail

V/V timelines

It starts in...

Youth- weird, furtive hands in alleys before Vimes gets sober and before Vetinari becomes Patrician

Guards Guards- a) something happened in that dungeon or b) after the end when Vetinari is shocked by Vimes’ optimism about human nature (not really, but compared to his own)

Men at Arms- don’t make me contemplate this

Feet of Clay- the poison ordeal brings out feelings in both of them. Obviously not during the poisoning though. You can’t have horniness and nausea at the same time. It is worth noting, though, that this is the book where Vimes is already commander and Vetinari can’t fucking say the word like a normal person he always purrs it Jesus Christ please stop

Jingo- like i said. due to personal reasons I will NOT be pondering the “arrest me” scene or the “you’re a Duke now :3” scene. Thank you for respecting my family’s privacy in this difficult time.

Fifth Elephant- a) Vimes listens to Bloodaxe and Ironhammer and hopes it doesn’t awaken anything in him, or b) some strange implications from a vampire countess make Vimes come back to Vetinari with questions

The Truth- “well you’re unconscious so you probably can’t hear this but-” “oh I’m fine lol but please go on 👀”

Night Watch- HEUUUGHEHHHFE night watch. yeah. oh fuck I’m thinking about night watch now. does anything need to be said about night watch? no. it’s just not allowed.

Thud- a) Angua casually talks to Vimes about Sally and Vimes talks about Vetinari and then Angua is like “so that’s why I think I might be bisexual” and Vimes is like, “wait.” b) the demon in his arm is tamed into being more like a coworker but unfortunately it is the unsolicited relationship advice coworker. c) not a third option just talking about the scene where he calls vimes “an arresting fellow.” To his face. To his entire face.

Unseen Academicals- a) Drunk Vetinari says something he usually wouldn’t and the gears all click into place in Vimes’ head. b) sober Vetinari is a man whose repressed romantic streak is brought to light by Glenda and Nutt holding hands the whole time during that one scene and he allows himself to say something to Vimes that he wouldn’t usually, etc.

Snuff- maybe

Raising Steam- and not JUST steam. They were on that train with no shirts. What the fuck.

I was going to post a list i wrote of different disc books with descriptions of how they could work as starting points for different v/v storylines but instead I’m going to mutter “forking paths” to myself under my breath for the same effect.

I will absolutely not be contemplating the arrest in Jingo at this time, nor will i think about demons that live in people’s arms, or steam engines. I’m also not allowed to look at candles or soccer balls. Thank you for respecting my family’s privacy. 

[syntheticcathedral]

Bloodaxe and Ironhammer.