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hyunnows · 3 years ago

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PETALS OF PAIN | MYG / JHS

PAIRING(S): Yoongi x reader x Hoseok

RATING: pg13

WORD COUNT: 8.5k+

CONTENT/WARNING(S): angst, fluff, sort of established relationship!au, hanahaki!au, mentions of blood, death, throwing up, hospitals and surgery, unrequited love is a main theme, there's a lot of Yoongi putting himself down and being insecure, half happy ending

SUMMARY: loving someone is hard, loving someone with the power to kill you is harder.

BTS TAGLIST: @imbonibi @fangirl125reader @geniejunn @sunshinelixie-lee @akshreads @6-ucci

A/N: this may also seem familiar to some readers, and with good reason. This is a oneshot version of one of my first series—dont go looking for it—and I just thought I'd revamp it a bit and put it in a format I think is more accessible! Plus, I removed most of the cringe lmao. Thank you so much to my betas @hoebii and @narsicen, you guys were so amazing and helpful and iim so grateful for you two putting up with my many typos ajfnbhjgbfhhsdiajn. I hope you all enjoy this (feel free to rb with comments, it'll literally make me so happy) and have a great day/night!

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“Hoseok,” You start, inhaling a deep breath as you squeeze your eyes shut, “I’m in love with you.”

“You’re joking, right?” He smiles half-heartedly, hoping you’d confirm that this is just all a joke—his face dropping when he realized you were serious. “I’m really sorry [Y/N]. But I can’t return your feelings.”

“I-It’s okay,” You croak, forcing a smile onto your face, eyes already welling up with tears. Running to the restroom, you don’t fight the bile rising in the back of your throat, or the soft, wet petals that you cough up.

“Damn it,” You mumble, wiping your eyes and blood-stained lips. Flushing the toilet, you stare as the yellow petals swirl, an orange tint coloring the water and the flowers.

Rubbing light circles on your back, Yoongi cringes at the sight, closing the lid quickly. With a worried look, he bites his lip, “Should I get you water or is there something you need?”

Nodding, you stumble to the sink, splashing the cold water on your face, “Water—water would be great.”

Giving you a quick ok, he exits the bathroom swiftly, pulling a bottle from the dresser outside it. Cracking open the top, he unscrews the plastic cap and hands you the bottle, “D'you need an aspirin or painkiller?”

“No.” You hiss, the cold water both soothing and stinging your throat. “Can-can you help me get to bed? I’m so dizzy.”

Without giving a response, he gently pulls you against him, slinging your arm around his shoulder and pulling you along with him to his bed. Sluggishly, you unwrap your arm, soothing into a more comfortable position and closing your eyes.

Taking a seat beside you, Yoongi ponders aloud, “Two years of this, huh? I never would have thought you’d get so hung up on someone.”

Chuckling softly, you smack his back gently, “Oh shut up. It’s not like this is planned or ideal.”

It is definitely not ideal. Throwing up yellow carnations daily, because you’d fallen for somebody who couldn’t return your feelings. Not ideal at all. Sometimes, on particularly difficult days, you wished he’d been harsher in turning you down. You wished he’d just step on your heart, break it, to make it not want to love him ever again. Yet, any time you’d tried to ask him out, he’d gently reject the offer, preserving your feelings.

It isn’t his fault, either. You had been friends for so long, it is natural that he only had platonic feelings. He had gotten used to your presence, to being around you and thinking nothing of it, he couldn’t be in love with you the way you were with him. He couldn’t love your [E/C] eyes, or your [H/C] hair, couldn’t love the way your small hands fit in his, or how you’d just light up at the sight of him. Hoseok just couldn’t.

But Yoongi could.

Two years ago, Yoongi was devastated when he uncovered your secret. He’d accidentally walked into the restroom, and it shattered his heart when he saw the petals in the sink for two reasons—the first being you were infected with the Hanahaki disease; sprouting from unrequited love—and the second reason being that you were in love with someone other than him.

“Who is it?”

“H-Hobi…” you admitted, sniffles clogging your nose as you washed your face. You would’ve jumped when you felt his hand suddenly on your shoulder if you weren’t so drained.

And he hated that it’s Hoseok you’d fallen for. Hoseok is younger than he is, happier, kinder, taller, and leaner than he is. How is he, short, thin and mean Min Yoongi supposed to compete with that? And so, he’s content with being friends. As long as he gets to see you each day, help you feel better, make you smile—it’s enough for him. Even if his body disagreed by pouring out those damn white arbutus flowers from his stomach, slowly killing him. He’d take it, and he wouldn’t tell you, because he loved you enough to want you to be happy without the knowledge that you’d be his undoing.

Yes, you both knew about the surgery. The one that could cure your illness. But neither of you could ever go through with it. It isn’t that you were afraid of the procedure, no, you both could deal with the fright of being cut open. What you two feared is never being able to love the person who is causing you all this trouble—for you, Hobi—and for Yoongi, you. It’d be far too painful to just lose all feelings of love for them, not blushing at contact or feeling the butterflies erupt in your chests.

“[Y/N], pass me the tea packets on the counter, yeah?” Taehyung smiles, pulling out two mugs and pulling the kettle off the stove.

You nod, coughing a bit. Taehyung is the only other person besides Yoongi who knew of your condition, and you’d made him promise not to treat you differently after he’d found out. He agreed hesitantly, taking into account that Yoongi had also developed the same specific disease not long before. Hanahaki isn’t contagious, right?

You felt absolutely terrible today, practically spilling your guts every couple of minutes, and Tae’s home remedies only did so much. Feeling a wave of nausea wash over you, you clutch the counter, fighting to keep your eyes open. Slipping out of consciousness, you release the counter, collapsing to the ground. Snapping his head up, Taehyung rushes to your side, sitting you up and shaking your shoulders gently, his actions getting harsher the longer you didn’t respond, “[Y-Y/N], [Y/N], wa-wake up-”

Dialing up Yoongi’s number, the phone doesn’t ring twice before he answers. “Taehyung, what’s wrong?”

“Yoongi, she—she blacked out! What should I do?” The tanned male panicked, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. Is this it? The end of the line for you?

“Taehyung,” Yoongi began, “call an ambulance, I’ll meet you later with the rest of the boys.” He’s scared—oh, he’s terrified—but he needs Taehyung to relax so he can be sure you’re safe.

Yoongi’s seething with anger, glaring at Hoseok when he arrives last, Taehyung is a sobbing mess, Jungkook and Jimin are in utter shock, Hobi’s scared both for you and of Yoongi, Jin’s trying to stay calm while trying to handle the younger trio, and Namjoon is busy talking to the doctors, trying to figure out how to save you. It’s absolute chaos.

“This is your fault! She’s in that hospital bed because of you, Hoseok!” Yoongi growled, jabbing his finger into Hobi’s chest repeatedly.

Confused, shocked, and irritated, Hobi shoots back, “My fault? How is it my fault?”

“You know she likes—no, she loves you, and you couldn’t cut her some slack? She’s been there with you through th-thick and thin!” The thinner male coughs, interrupting his rant. It is always difficult for him to talk about you, especially your love for Hoseok because whenever he did, he’d feel like an entire bouquet would pour out of him.

“What does that have to do with this?” Hobi yells, pushing Yoongi back aggressively.

“She has the damn Hanahaki disease!”

Hobi falters, his tough demeanor deteriorating. “She what?”

“She has the Hanahaki! But of course, you wouldn’t know!” Yoongi hisses, grabbing Hoseok’s shirt collar, “Y-you never gave [Y/N] a second glance, you were always busy chasing some random girl, how the heck could you have known she is suffering?”

Hoseok has tears springing to his eyes, this is his fault. You were supposed to be best friends, supposed to share everything. Yet, he hadn’t even realized that you two didn’t spend nearly a third of the time you used to—two years ago—together.

“Hey, break it up, you don’t want to upset Taehyung more, do you?” Seokjin reasons, pulling the two younger males apart. “The doctor says she’s awake, and that we should discuss possible plans to save her.”

“Screw you, Hoseok,” the pale male spat, shaking Jin’s hand off of him roughly before jogging into your room. It didn’t matter how angry Yoongi was, he didn’t want you to be any more scared than you already were. Clearing his throat, he gives you a soft, worried look. “Hey [Y/N]? Are you okay?”

“Jeez, my head’s killing me… Who brought me here?” You groaned, rubbing your head gently, staring at Yoongi curiously.

Sighing in relief, the pale boy smiles a bit. “Taehyung called an ambulance, we’ve been waiting for you to wake up for almost two hours now,” he replies, taking your hand and a seat next to you, “You don’t know how scared I was.”

“I’m—I’m fine, Yoongs,” You weakly grin, throat sore and burning after having coughed up so many petals in your sleep. “A-are they here? Do they know..?”

“We’re right here [Y/N],” Taehyung sobs, rushing through the door to hug you, the other five boys trailing closely behind, “I’m sorry I took so long to come inside, I-I couldn’t stop crying and I didn’t want you to see…”

“It’s okay, Tae, thank you so much. You saved my life today,” You coo at his cute expression, rubbing his back as best you could. The poor kid’s probably losing his mind in worry, he always did.

“And to answer the second question, yes, they know,” Yoongi sighs, putting his forehead on the back of your hand. You hesitantly take a glance at Hoseok, looking away when you realize his eyes are guilt-ridden and trained on you. “[Y/N], we really need to figure out how to fix this—I-I can’t imagine life without you.”

Biting your lip, you frown, the entire mood dropping. “I know... I just, I don’t know what to do…”

Namjoon calls a doctor into the room, one who’s seen many Hanahaki cases and knows all possible options. Before getting into your situation, he greets Yoongi. “Yoongi? What’re you doing here?” Yoongi tells him you’re friends. “So is this advisory for her or you?”

The room goes silent, and Taehyung is the first person to address the new elephant in the room, “Yoongi, why would it be for you..?”

“Yoongi’s had the Hanahaki disease for a little over a year and a half.” The doctor states nonchalantly, not recognizing Yoongi’s discomfort. Damn you, he thinks to himself, mentally strangling the doctor, who can’t seem to keep his mouth shut. “Has he not told you?”

You shake your head, confused. “No, they don’t know,” Yoongi sighs, an irritated growl in his undertone, “The advisory is for her.”

“Who is it, Yoongi?”

“You,” he deadpans, no signs of joking evident in his face, or voice—and you suddenly feel worse.

“You-you’re going to die because of me?”

“You two could try to save both your lives…” The doctor butts in, “Get [Y/N] to fall in love with You, and boom. Requited love and a heck of a story for the future kids.”

“Th-that’s possible?” You exclaim, shock and hope written on your tired face.

“I’ve seen it work before.”

“Yoongi,” You stare at him expectantly, and you don’t have to finish for him to understand, but you do anyway, “Let me learn to love you.”

“[Y/N], I don’t want you to risk your life or your happiness for me,” he refuses, placing a soft kiss on your hand, ready to let it go and walk out the room. He’s got a tight-lipped smile that’s more of a pursed expression, and he starts releasing your hand when you tighten your grip.

“Please, I-I don’t want you to die either! Let me try,” You wanted nothing more than for Hobi to love you back. It was all you’d wanted since that day in class where he let you copy his test answers because he’d kept you up all night to keep him company after his first break up. You still want it—so badly—but Yoongi’s life is more important than some silly, dead dream.

Hoseok didn’t understand why. He is old enough to understand his feelings, so why were they so confusing right now as you created this half-baked plan to save your life? It is much harder to fall in love when someone already held your heart, and it is probably safer to get the damn surgery and just forget you ever loved Hobi in the first place. Why did the thought of you forgetting you ever loved him hurt his heart, too?

Giving a defeated, yet giddy smile, Yoongi hugged you, “Thank you [Y/N], I love you so much.“

You hug him back, mustering a smile.

Every day since then Yoongi would stay with you. He rarely left the hospital, and is almost always right at your bedside, unless he is cuddled in the uncomfortable contraption with you, petting your hair and gently rubbing circles along your waist and hips. He is right, he is the best boyfriend ever. “[Y/N], I brought snacks.”

“More? Are you trying to stuff me?” You joke, sitting up in the less than preferable hospital bed.

Flashing his lazy yet bright smile, Yoongi chuckles. “Maybe I am so that we can cook you for Thanksgiving.”

You feign a shocked expression, pulling out a bag of chip puffs. If your nurses knew what you were eating, they'd surely throw a fit. It isn't even soft junk food. Yoongi has a content expression as his eyes follow your movements, biting his cheek to try and stop his grinning whenever you do something he thinks is adorable—which, with him, is just about everything.

You flush when you notice his stare. It's concentrated yet relaxed, and way too intense to keep you from squirming in your spot. Curse Min Yoongi and his adorable kitten eyes. “Is there something on my face?”

“No,” the both of you giggle, you're mostly trying to keep your mind off the boy who'd just entered the room. Hoseok. “You're just cute.”

Clearing his throat awkwardly, Hobi begins, “Hate to interrupt your… Moment,” it's light and you barely catch it, but there's a venom laced into Hobi’s voice and a not so subtle glare aimed at your best friend—no—boyfriend that bothers you, “but I'd like some time with [Y/N] too.”

He gives you a questioning glance, and you nod, “Can you get me some yogurt and something to drink maybe? My throat’s kind of sore.”

Hesitantly, Yoongi nods, not forgetting to give the taller male a warning stare, “Of course. Be right back.”

Sitting up in your bed, you give Hobi an expectant gaze, urging him to hurry with whatever he had to say silently. When he seemed to ignore your ushering, you sigh, “Hobi, what’s up?”

“Right,” he huffs, relaxing on the chair beside you, “I’m sorry about this—I had no idea.”

“I didn’t want you to,” you mutter, just loud enough for him to hear, “I never wanted you to feel guilty about something you had no control over. They’re my feelings, Hoseok, and it’s my disease—well, it’s Yoongi and I’s problem now.”

“I’m back!” Yoongi announces, planting a gentle peck on your forehead, his eyes trained on you to keep him from glaring at his friend. You giggle a bit as he holds two yogurts and a protein shake in front of you, an adorable smile only he could pull off adorning his face.

Releasing a strangled breath, Hoseok walked out the room, a guilt-ridden and sour look in his eyes.

And since then, Hoseok never fails to somehow interrupt your perfectly happy moments with Yoongi and make the both of you uncomfortable with his attitude. The two of you could be cuddled up watching whatever the hospital TV is playing, and Hoseok would enter the room sourly, ready to try and rile Yoongi up or apologize awkwardly. Sometimes, you’d just be having an ordinary conversation—with just about anyone—and Hobi suddenly needed to talk to you in private about something trivial or to mope about the pain he’d caused.

The day you were discharged, Yoongi’s ecstatic, holding your hand all the way back to the boys’ large apartment, where you'd be staying until your issue is hopefully fixed—besides, it isn’t as if you had much money after you insisted on paying your hospital bill. They had a spare room, somehow. You guessed it’s because Jungkook and Seokjin always got lonely during the night and decided to share a room when they'd first started renting the space. Taehyung had also started rooming with Yoongi last year, so there’s one of six rooms for you.

Unfortunately, the only unoccupied room had been used as a large storage closet for the last year, and it would take lots of elbow grease to make it habitable. “Are you sure you don’t want me to ask Taehyung to room with Kook and Jin? Or to fix this up for himself?”

“Yes, I’m sure Yoongs. Taehyung shouldn’t have to move around for me. I’ll be fine, I can bang this out in like, two days,” You assured, giving Yoongi one of the smiles you reserved for when you were truly content. Patting the empty bed frame, you sigh as you realize you’ll have to hurry and move your belongings before you were officially kicked out of your apartment. “Can you help me go get my stuff?”

“Of course—”

“I’ll go with you,” Hoseok cut in, eyes burning a hole through Yoongi’s head as if he had laser vision. Standing straight, he tried to emphasize the size difference between himself and the shorter male, attempting to assert some sort of dominance over the pale boy. “I can take you [Y/N], I’m driving by there in a bit anyway.”

“No, you’re not, don’t you have to help Jin with dinner tonight?” You quirk your brow at Hoseok, agreeing with Yoongi’s observation. Mentally, you note how Yoongi’s jaw clenched, although you’re unsure of why, as the two seem to be having a telepathic conversation you aren’t a part of.

“I-”

Giving a quick, tight-lipped grin to Hoseok, you hold your boyfriend’s arm, trying to keep the bile that is building up in your throat down, “Thanks, but I’m just going to have Yoongi take me. Go help Jin, it must be stressful for him to cook food every d-day.” You cough, your [E/C] eyes glossing over in pain. You nod at Yoongi’s worried expression, squeezing his arm gently.

Frowning, Hoseok leaves.

Oh, and that happens constantly as well. You thought you’d be better by now, have fewer petals, less of the feeling of the air getting pushed out of your lungs as the flowers grew. Yet, somehow it is worse. Every time you looked at Hoseok, you felt the bubbling begin, the acidic flavor seeping into your throat and making you gag internally. Why is this happening to you? Why couldn't you just fall in love with the amazing, sweet, adorable guy who likes you? Why were you hung up on someone who hadn't even considered the thought of loving you back?

“Babe, why are you so far?” Yoongi whines, pulling your arm towards him gently, ready to engulf you in a full-body hug. “I want to hold you.”

“Y'know, you don't have to try to be so affectionate, Yoongi. I don't mind if you don't want to hang out for a bit or anything.”

“I'm sorry, do you want me to stop? I'm not acting, I-I'm just clingy I guess,” he offers, releasing your hand, a horrified expression painting in his pale face at the thought he is making you uncomfortable.

“N-no! I just don't want you to force yourself to make me like you, I don't want you uncomfortable,” You pause, “and, I kind of like it..”

He smirked, leaning up and collapsing above you, causing you to laugh softly, “Thank goodness, I don't think I could be that far from you any longer.”

“I never expected Min Yoongi to be such a koala!”

“Well, I guess you have to get used to it, huh?” He teases, squeezing your waist as he moves you beside him for a more comfortable position.

You shake your head, a wide grin, wider than most you'd worn recently, and chuckle, “I guess so.”

Yoongi and you were dubbed The Lazy Couple, an accurate name for the two of you from the boys, as neither of you even bothered to try and find a movie to watch, asking Taehyung and Jungkook for recommendations for your movie nights—which were every night. Today is no exception as you and Yoongi are snuggled up on the couch, another horror movie Taehyung and Jungkook recommended playing as you both chat lazily, more focused on the movie than your conversation. “[Y/N] I have to take a piss, be back in a bit.”

“Take your time, Yoongi.” You call back, sipping your sprite. Pulling out your phone, you fail to notice Hoseok take a seat beside you until the couch suddenly dips. “Damn, that is fast. I didn't even hear the toilet flush-”

Sitting a little more than a foot away from you, he sweats nervously. “Sorry, not who you were expecting?”

“Not really,” You mumble under your breath. “D'you need something, Hobi?”

Gulping nervously, he shakes his head no, “Not technically. I just—are you okay? I can't seem to wrap my head around this whole Hanahaki thing, and nobody wants to talk to me about it.”

“I—yeah, yeah, I'm okay. It's not that complicated,” You pause, trying not to sound rude and hoping for a nicer way to phrase them to pop into your mind, “And, um, there are plenty of articles on it online.”

“I know. I read, like, eight the other day.” He sighs, running a frustrated hand through his raven hair, “I'm just worried about you, this is all my fault you're like this.”

“Don't blame yourself, I'm the one who fell in love. I knew what I was getting into.” He quirks a brow at you, “Well, not really, but it's still my fault if anyone's.”

“But I still let you down harshly. I didn’t consider your feelings, even though we’re supposed to be best friends.”

“You haven’t been acting like it since I told you.” It's not a lie, and he knows it's not just a sour attitude when he hears your distraught voice. Ever since the day you told him of your feelings, you'd felt like the plague. In the same hallway? He'd speed walk the other way. The same restaurant? You better count on it that he's got another reservation set up before he's stepped foot inside the structure. And it is painful, feeling like the person you cared for so deeply, wanted nothing to do with you.

Sighing, he glances down at his hands, back up to your face, and then his hands again. “I-I know, I just didn’t want to lead you on. I was hoping you’d get over me quickly if you didn’t see me for a while. I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“I know, Hobi.”

“Do you still love me?”

Thinking about all the times you’d hack up carnations, all for Hoseok, your heart clenches. Nodding, you purse your lips, an uneasy feeling stirring in your stomach. “Yeah. yeah, I do.”

And, he knew this is unfair to you, but he can’t let you die. While you're distracted, fiddling with your fingers, Hoseok gently cradles your face, leaning in. His warm yet minty breath fans your face, and you’re frozen. And even though you may have loved him with all your heart, you couldn’t do that to Yoongi. Pushing his chest back, you sigh, “Hobi, you-you.. can’t. We can’t”

“Please, let me try... I want you to live,” he pleads, hands holding your shoulders to face him.

“She said no, right?” Yoongi repeats, a dark, threatening undertone in his voice. “She doesn’t want to kiss you.”

“I can save her, all I have to do is fall in love with her. It’s easier than her learning to love you.” Hobi sneers, a hard glare aimed at Yoongi.

“Hey, that’s uncalled-for,” you frown, removing Hoseok’s palms from your shoulder. “Please, just leave us alone, Hobi.”

A sly, barely visible, smug smile appears on Yoongi’s face when you refuse Hoseok's advances, “You heard her stop bugging us.”

“Thanks, Yoongs,” You mumble, allowing him to snuggle back beside you, a ghost of a smile reappearing as Hoseok leaves the room.

“Of course, I’m like, your knight in shining armor,” he chuckles when you smack him, giggling, “Well, at least that’s what Taehyung said. He called you the beautiful princess.”

“When was this?”

“I saw him acting it out in his room, alone. [Y/N], I’ll save you!” He mocks, relishing in your flushed face. “Oh, Yoongi! I love you so much more than Hoseok!”

You laugh, your heart melts at his tired voice attempting to sound half as enthusiastic as the energetic boy while half asleep by nature. Why can’t I just love this sweet, caring, perfect boy? Your heart ached with the thought, eyes trained on the little details of his face.

The two of you spend the night laughing, Yoongi playing with your hair and tickling you every so often. It is nice, being this close to him, but you felt like you were using him. He is in love with you, and you were only with him to try and save your lives. You felt like a jerk, especially when your mind would drift to Hobi if he were the one holding you instead. How would his hands feel, holding yours? You thought about everything you liked about him, going silent as you moved out of consciousness. Yoongi noticed the way your face grimaced, your eyes lowering to your hands.

Holding one of them on his own, he catches your attention. “Don't think about him [Y/N].”

“Right—I'm sorry Yoongi. I forget you're going through this too.” You frown, a guilty feeling swelling in your stomach.

“It's alright, I understand that it's difficult getting over someone like him,” he coughed, petals rising in his throat, scratching him. He wanted to let it out, let all those stupid arbutus flowers fall into the toilet, and get it over with. But he didn't want you to worry. He knew it would break your heart seeing him so sickly. He’s paler than normal these past months, and somehow even thinner. His eyes sunken in, even if he is always sleeping. How unattractive, he thinks.

“What do you mean?”

Feeling a yolk-like substance cover his voice, he cleared his throat as best he could, a few cracks still present in his voice as he explains himself. “Extroverted, charismatic, tall, charming… I'm not any of those things.”

“H-Hey, you're charming too, and I don’t care about height.” You panic, seeing the way his mood shifts.

Coughing, he felt a petal slide up his throat, falling into his hand. He quickly wiped the bit of blood off his lip, trying to hide the flower as quickly as possible. Snatching his hand, you stare at the flower. It's slightly colored with blood, but it is beautiful. It's snowy white stained and with pink dots.

“I… I looked up yellow carnations… I looked up their meaning, and they mean rejection… have you—y'know, looked these guys up?”

He nods, and you urge him silently to continue. “You’re the only one I love, I checked more than one site to make sure.”

This is more painful than any flowers you can't seem to keep down because this is truly your fault. Hypocritical, you know; telling Hoseok not to blame himself for your condition, then turning right back around to say you were the reason Yoongi is in so much pain.

You can't bring yourself to stop him, you couldn't, you did not have the heart to do it. For the first time, you let Yoongi kiss you. It's sweet and gentle, and heartbreaking to know that you've done this, terrible, terrible thing to him.

But you keep letting him, his lips touching yours gently and innocently, pure love and affection behind his actions, and you can feel it all, especially when you start imagining him as Hoseok. That Hobi is the one cupping your cheeks, caressing them gently, and making you feel more love than you ever had. That Hobi is the one dating you. That Hobi loves you.

Pulling away, you feign a smile at Yoongi. This is why you refrain from letting him kiss you. Every time before, you managed to dodge a kiss, finding some way to stop it without hurting Yoongi's feelings. You knew that the moment you let him, your heart would betray you, and your mind would make its way to Hoseok.

And both you and Yoongi swallow the petals in your throat, excusing yourselves to the nearest toilets.

Hoseok silently chokes, an unfamiliar feeling blooming in his chest as he processes that you kissed Yoongi. He's unsure what to think because he doesn’t know if this is still the right plan? Were you just going to end up a corpse covered in golden petals in the end?

It doesn't matter. Because right now, you're still barfing mountains of carnations into the toilet, and Yoongi's still hacking up arbutus flowers in the kitchen sink.

Yoongi isn't one for sap, although he is considerably mushy around you, he had never experienced this. The way his heart palpitated three times faster than normal the moment he caught a glimpse of your face. How his breath would hitch and he'd be stuck, giving you a stupid smile the moment your eyes met. But most of all, he'd never experienced being seen by you.

You'd never had your gaze linger on him before, your hand reluctantly releasing his. And now that is all that you seemed to do—except you still did the same for Hoseok.

Yoongi would scoff at the thought. You were always at Hobi's beck and call, your eyes lighting up the moment he gave you any attention, and it made him sick. What is so amazing about Hoseok anyway? He'd think, then remind himself of everything the younger male had that he did not. The energy, charisma… Height. It’s shallow, he knows, but it still bugs him.

But as you were there—your lips connected to his own—he couldn't care less about how incredible the taller boy is. Because right now, you were choosing to kiss him and not Hobi. You had rejected the younger’s advances—despite loving him with all your heart—and had allowed Yoongi to kiss you.

He's never felt this alive, happy, and… Sick? The way you were kissing him—he could feel it, that kiss was for Hoseok. He wanted to cry, realizing that you'd subconsciously begin to cradle his cheek and reciprocate his actions because you weren't kissing him. You were kissing Hoseok. He feels when you snap out of it, pulling away and giving him a stiff, fake smile. He could practically see the disappointment in your [E/C] eyes, and he loathed it—possibly more than he despised the all too familiar feeling of stems and flower buds crawling up his throat, scratching the sides and drawing blood from the inside.

He knows that the man who stole your heart, the one who caused so much pain, had seen the kiss. Yoongi could feel him the entire time, burning a hole through his head during those short seconds that were, at the same time, the longest moments of his life. The most amazing and most painful, but he'd be lying if he said he wouldn't do it again.

He flushes the toilet, slamming the seat down as he steadies his uneven, ragged breathing. Breathe in, breathe out. Rinsing off any blood or saliva that may have escaped his lips, staining his pale skin. How he wished he could blame you, but you hadn't done this. At least, not purposely.

Jogging to the other bathroom, he doesn't hesitate to soothe your back and keep your hair up, letting you freely empty your insides, beautiful flowers spilling out of you. It breaks his heart, how you suffer, and he just isn't enough to fix it, and he just isn't enough to take the pain away.

You sobbed into your palms, retreating from the short male's touch as soon as you'd stopped spewing petals. How could you do that—shy away from him? All he wants is to help. “I-I'm sorry, [Y/N], I shouldn't have done that.”

You don't respond, cradling your stomach in one arm and resting the other on your knees, hiding your face. You cry louder, your heart stinging at what you've done—making him apologize when you were just using him, just trying to save your lives.

Retreating further from you, Yoongi sighs. He just couldn't be good enough to kiss away the pain, could he? “I'm sorry, I-I’ll be right outside the door if you need something—”

“I'm s-sorry...” You tremble, your voice cracking in pain. “This is my f-fault, not yours.” Voice weakening as your sentence came to a finish.

His tensed posture softens, and he's back in front of you, kneeling as he pulls you into a hug. You wrap your arms around his torso, leaning your head on his chest.

Thump… Thump… Thump…

Listening to the steady beat of his heart, you feel your eyes droop, barely processing as he hushes your sobs and stands with you in his arms, carrying you to your bedroom.

Placing you under the covers he'd gone with you to buy, he watches your peaceful face. “I'd never hurt you like this… Why can't you just love me?”

You're so far gone, barely managing to open your eyes enough to see him, but you still register his words. It seems that’s the question of the day. You want to answer him, to answer yourself with some type of justification as to why you can’t choose him, but you’re tired, exhausted and your body gives in to its need for sleep.

Left alone with his thoughts, Yoongi wonders what he could do, how he could be like Hobi. Every time you’d gushed about the tanner man, starry-eyed, what were the things you said you liked?

“Isn’t he so handsome, Yoongi?” You sighed, resting your head in your palm as you watched Hoseok’s every move.

Yoongi shrugged, hardly glancing up, “Whatever.” Sure, Hoseok is often fawned over by girls, he’s what they called a ‘flower boy’. Sweet, soft, and pretty, but Yoongi couldn’t ever fully understand what the fuss is about.

You jokingly shove him, pulling out your phone, “I really like him… He’s just so tall, sweet, kind… Not to mention fit.”

Frowning, he slumps over the table the two of you sat on, pretending to be deeply interested in something on his phone. He liked you for more than a year at this time, before you ever had the Hanahaki. Some people made fun of him, mocking his thinner legs and arms, and his height, many guys calling his pale skin too feminine. And you just had to go and fall in love with the opposite of him.

He sighs, he couldn’t change his looks, and he isn’t healthy enough to try and build the same amount of muscle Hoseok had, he had no hope. Caressing your hand, he whispers, “I’d go to the ends of the earth for you, I’d do almost anything. I love you with my whole heart [Y/N].”

Walking out the door, he glares at Hobi’s disheveled look. Stuffing his hands into his shorts’ pockets, he begins. “Stop messing with her like that. If you want us to survive, you stay out of this, okay?”

“I…” The younger sighs, he doesn’t agree nor disagree with his friend. He didn’t want his best friend to die, but he didn’t want you to die because he couldn’t return your feelings. It is hard to get over someone, much less fall for someone else, at the same time. He couldn’t just sit by and watch you wither away while playing pretend with Yoongi. “She needs me.”

“And I need her."

You sigh, eyes trained on Yoongi. You'd never realized how much he dealt with until the night you kissed. It tore you apart, knowing how little he thought of himself, how much he hid, and how broken he seemed. You wonder to yourself, had he always been like this? Had he always seen himself as so unattractive? So imperfect?

He'd done so much for you, staying when times were hard and making the good days better. This time, it is your turn to be there for him.

Seeing your lost-in-thought expression, Yoongi immediately groans. “Don't think about him, [Y/N]. It'll only make things worse.”

“How do you know that's what I'm thinking about?” You tease, poking his side with your index and middle finger.

Yoongi shrugs, tearing his eyes from you to the TV, giving you a clear view of them. How they reflected all the colors on the television, and beautifully warped the images, giving him a surreal look. “You have such pretty eyes, Yoongi.” His cheeks are dusted pink, scrunching his nose adorably in a bashful manner. What were you doing? He keeps his eyes trained on the TV, trying to focus on the movie you were supposed to be watching. “You’re so beautiful.”

“What are you trying to pull, huh?” He grins at you, squeezing his eyes shut in embarrassment. You shrug, and he doesn’t hesitate to pull you into his arms, hugging you tightly.

You gently poke at his shoulder, pulling at the material of his shirt, “I’m just observing you… By the way, this shirt is covered in lint.” Yoongi chuckles, hugging you closer and planting a soft kiss on your temple. “You’re so sweet, caring, strong…”

“Are you trying to flatter me so I go get you a snack or something?”

You guffaw, smacking his arm lightly, “No! You’re just amazing!”

He nods, enjoying you gushing over him. It feels fantastic, as you continuously tell him how great he is, or how handsome and strong, causing him to bury his head into your shoulder. “What’re you doing?”

“I’m… I’m loving you..” you trail off into a shy whisper at the end, embarrassed and flustered. That is what you were doing, right? You peek up to see Yoongi’s reaction—if any—and are shocked to see his face flushed and tears lining his eyes. Panicking, you wiggle out of his arms, holding his soft cheeks in your hands and wiping his eyes, “I-I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said that… Yoongi—hey, stop crying—”

“I love you so much.” He croaks, hugging you tightly around the waist. “Can I please kiss you?”

You bite your lip, considering your options. You could reject him and hurt both of you, or you could allow him and experience another fantastic kiss. You glance back at his eyes, they were so worried, scared, but they also held the special shine that you’d learned was... love. How could you say no? “Go ahead.”

He breaks out into a grin, pulling your face to his in a hurried, yet gentle motion, cupping your cheek in one hand and your neck in the other. Lips meeting, you sigh contently. You may still be working on falling in love with Yoongi, but you loved it when you two shared a kiss or two. He made you feel loved, calm, and relaxed, and it isn’t as if you didn’t return the favor. Each time you permitted him to kiss you, his heart would shift into overdrive, and he felt as if everything is right. As if you loved him back, and Hoseok isn’t in the picture. As if neither of you was sick, and dating, not forcing yourselves to hurry and fall, under your circumstances. Despite the joy he felt and overwhelming happiness, he is still tearing up.

You didn’t love him, you were sick, and you weren’t dating because you wanted to. The reminder made him sick to his stomach, the pink-tipped white petals slipping up his throat once more as you separate. It’s not real, it’s just a fantasy because you love Hoseok. Suddenly, Yoongi’s coughing up the flowers you’d both grown to hate with a passion, blood splattering onto his pink lips, tinting them. He wants to blame you, to hate you more than anything, but he loves you too much to ever do such.

“I'm so sorry, Yoongi.” You whisper, caressing his back as he hurls up the petals. You don't notice it, neither of you does, but he'd coughed up fewer petals than usual, and it's a significant detail, but neither of you make note of it. With a guilty face, you flush the toilet, closing the lid and rushing for a bottle of water—your mother always did say it isn't safe or healthy to throw up without liquids in your system. “Here, drink.”

You pop the cap open, handing it to him gently, never fully releasing it as he weakly brings the plastic rim to his mouth. Forgive me, Yoongi. You frown, eyes focused on the tears cascading down his plush cheeks, staining them in pain.

“Are you sure you don't want to come with me? It shouldn't take too long and then we can hang out with Taehyung after,” Yoongi insists, for the fifth time. He had been inseparable from you since the hospital, and he isn't sure how you'd be alone for most of the day.

“Yoongi, you don't have to bring me, I know you want some space.” You smile, assuring him you'd be fine. He leans towards you, turning his cheek so it's right in front of you. You jokingly roll your eyes, giving him a soft peck as you wave him off. “Say hi to Tae for me!”

“Of course, don’t forget about our date tonight when I get back!”

You grin to yourself, closing the door behind Yoongi and locking it. You were going on a date with Yoongi, and you were happy about it. You sigh to yourself, a dazed look in your eyes as you push yourself off the door.

Assuming you were the only one who'd be at the apartment for a few hours, you don't hesitate to take a long, warm shower—which you'd probably blame Jimin for when the water bill is brought to attention. You smile a bit to yourself, biting your lip giddily.

Four days. Four whole days. Four frickin’ fantastic, entire days you hadn't seen even a bud from a carnation.

At first, you thought the disease was giving you a sort of break, and when it returned, it'd be stronger than ever... But it's been two days since then, and you still haven’t even gagged in almost a week.

Seamlessly, your mind travels to Yoongi, his bright smile, and his amazing cuddles. You can imagine his fluffy hair and wish to just stroke it once, watch as it falls, and frames his face. Then, you think of his warm touch, how his large hands would hold you, how he’d cuddle you, and keep you warm.

Finishing off your shower, you step out of the bathroom, rushing to your room in only a towel, thankful the boys were all out today. Hmm, what to wear? What would Yoongi like..? It’s a silly thought, really, because he always told you how beautiful he thought you were, whether you were in a fancy dress or some comfortable basketball shorts. Deciding on some new bleached jeans and a graphic tee he’d bought for you a while back—you never knew what to expect from Yoongi, he always surprises you when he takes you out, even as friends—you find yourself stuffing your cheeks with potato chips.

“H-hi,” You greet Hoseok, who’s just entered the apartment with a strained expression on his features, glancing at you awkwardly through his bangs—he’d allowed them to grow out this past couple of weeks.

Scratching his neck uncomfortably, he cringes when he scratches a bit too hard. Nerves, “[Y/N], I need to tell you something…”

“Well, get on with it.” You joke lightheartedly, gesturing to the television. “There's not much time before the commercials end.”

“Right—uh,” he begins nervously, taking a breath. You’ve got this, Jung, just say it. He pressures himself, gathering his courage. “I-I, I love you”

Surprised, you quickly recover, glaring at him, a deadpanned look on your face. This is your heart, your life at stake, and it isn’t a guitar for Hoseok to try and string up, and only play for a little while. “Not funny Hoseok.”

Taking a deep breath, he continues. “I'm—I'm not joking. I love you,” trying to convince himself, as well as you, that he is telling the truth.

“Stop it.” You sniffle, fighting back the hot tears stinging your eyes. You could practically see the yellow flowers crawling up your neck, scraping your throat. No, please no.

“I love you,” he pauses, leaning towards your face. “I'll prove it.”

And he's kissing you. He’s holding your cheeks tightly in his hands, keeping your face to his, and he feels worse when you don’t reciprocate the actions.

You don't want to, you really, really don't want to kiss him, but you also really, really do. It felt real, you felt emotions behind his actions, but it isn't right. Just as you're pulling away, pushing the boy’s shoulders back, your phone rings. Lifting it to your ear, you wipe your lips clean of Hoseok, deteriorating his ego. “Hey, Taehyung, what's—”

“Yoongi passed out, he's dying.”

“He-he what? I—you’re on your way here, r-right?” You stuttered, shocked at the words leaving Tae’s mouth. “I’ll call the ambulance, tell them our address—you’re down the street? Okay, j-just—just hurry and get here.” You hadn’t realized at the moment, but as soon as those eight words left Taehyung’s mouth, every petal dissipated.

Dialing up your local emergency room, you explain the situation as fast and clearly as possible. You single-handedly change from your sleepwear to a t-shirt Yoongi had given you and slipping on some sneakers, you grab your keys, wallet, anything you might need to take with you when the ambulance gets there.

You hear Taehyung’s car screech against the concrete as he quickly turns into the parking lot, and you’re already more than halfway down the stairs, rushing to his car. Yoongi’s covered arbutus flowers, stems, splattered blood here and there. His eyes are closed, eyes red and puffy, contrasting his pale color, tears staining his skin.

“Yoongi—Yoongi, wake up, c’mon-” You sobbed, holding his head on your lap as you slid into the car. “Please!”

“Why do you like Hoseok so much?” The slim male had pondered aloud, the question up in the air whether you wanted to answer it.

Hesitating, you want to say, ‘He makes me laugh,’ but you’d laughed the most with Yoongi. He could do—or say—the stupidest joke, one without any type of actual comedy in it, and you’d be rolling on the floor in laughs and smiles.

Then, your mind jumps to your next answer, ‘He’s just so kind,’ But, so was Yoongi. He may try to hide his soft side, but he was always there when someone was feeling down, ready to lend a hand or anything.

And, you rack your brain for this one, ‘He cares about me.’ But, Yoongi cares about you too. He cares about you so much more than Hoseok ever did, he’d gone and fallen in love with you and didn’t stop loving you after it started to kill him—literally.

Noticing your discomfort, he shrugs, leaning back on the couch, “It’s okay, you don’t have to answer,” he gives you a reassuring smile, combing his long fingers through your locks, “I was just curious.”

“Ma'am, we need to get him into the ambulance. You can ride with him, but we need you to let go—”

“Yoongi, c’mon—” You sobbed, wiping the dried tears from his cheeks, “You’re—you’re not allowed to d-die.”

It’d been a particularly hard day. Hoseok had gone out on a date with a girl he’d met during your time at the hospital, leaving you to feel all the pain. You had a trash bag, water, and painkillers, making a sort of stash as you bared up the flowers, laying completely drained on your bed.

Your floor was covered in the bright petals, the occasional bud, or fully bloomed flower along with them. It was so painful, yet, you were enduring it. Without you noticing, Yoongi had snuck into your room, gloves on his hands as he carefully collected each bloodied petal and threw them away, cleaning your mess. Finishing up with your floor, he removed the latex protection and sat beside your back, soothingly rubbing it.

“Y-yoongi?” You croak, turning your weak body to see him.

“Hey [Y/N], how are you feeling?” he frowned, asking genuinely with pain in his eyes.

“It hurts so gosh dang much,” You frowned, tears welling up in your eyes. You’d been crying all day, and you didn’t know how you had any sort of liquid left in your body.

Hugging your frame to his chest, he shushes you, “I know… I know…” pulling you off him a bit, he smiles softly at your face, wiping your tear stains, “What do you say… we watch your favorite movie, eat ice cream and get all fat on the couch, hm?”

“But you don’t like my favorite movie… Plus, we watched it yesterday…”

He shakes his head playfully, “What’re you talking about? I love that movie! We can watch it as many times as you want.”

Sobbing beside him on the stretcher, you hold his hand, tear droplets falling onto his hands. “I-I…”

“Hey [Y/N], y’know I love you, right?”

“I love you too…”

“Are you going to see him?” Hobi inquires, an unreadable tone dripping from his voice.

“Taehyung’s taking me, he hasn’t been awake long, and we think we should be the first people he sees after the doctors…” You smile softly, packing your bags with a change of clothes, snacks, and your wallet. Grabbing your phone and keys, you head towards the door. “You should swing by to see him soon. You’re probably the closest person to him after Taehyung and me.”

Hoseok nods, moving out of your way as you leave.

“Taehyung, a-air—” Yoongi rasps out, patting his friend’s back before Taehyung releases him. Smiling at the taller boy, Yoongi turns to you, a full-blown grin stretching across his face.

“Min Yoongi,” You begin, a smile on your features that quickly turns into fake anger, “how dare you scare me like that!”

“Hey, I didn’t try to die!” He defends himself, his voice rough and sore.

You shake your head, smiling at him so brightly, your cheeks hurt. “I love you.” You whisper, trying to fight back the tears of joy you felt seeping out of your eyes.

Making a pouty face. “Don’t say that just because I’m in the hospital,” he pleads, holding his chest with his hand in an attempt at humor.

“I’m not, idiot. I love you, so much.” You repeat, brushing his bangs to the side.

“I love you too,” he grins, glossy-eyed and mushy, his gummy smile brighter than ever.

Hobi wished he’d never followed. He wished he’d stayed at the apartment where you’d left him. He may have turned you down all those years ago, and he may have caused you to suffer an unbearable amount, but as the yellow chrysanthemum blossom lays flat in his hand, he can’t help the bitter smile that ghosts his face as he chuckles dryly, thinking this outcome just isn’t fair.

One of the nurses passing by the hall stops in front of him, eyeing the flower in his palm. “Chrysanthemums… The yellow ones, they mean neglected love and sorrow.”

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smolfailure · 4 years ago

Text

FUCK IT, DREAM SMP HOMESTUCK AU

but it's only half shitposts and there are actual Thoughts in there.

You don't need to have read the comic to understand because I tried not to spoil anything major, but it'd help if you knew basic stuff about classpects, SBURB and the hemospectrum.

disclaimer: i'm not a good pixel artist and this is my first actual sprites ever so please be kind to my weird pixels

The Kids:

Tommy

Fundy

Techno

Tubbo

tommy, tubbo and fundy one of the kids because they're the kids in dream smp canon (with fundy being son of wilbur)

techno's there because i want to make a dave strider reference (haha get it because techno's name is also da-- *gets shot) and also because they are both coolguys except instead of using irony, techno has adhd

The Trolls:

Wilbur Soohte (fuschia)

?????? Ehrret (violet)

J????? Shlatt (purple)

Nihacu Niikki (indigo)

Skeppy Diamon (cerulean)

Quacki Tthiey (teal)

Philza Myncra (jade)

Dreame Wastkn (lime disguising as olive)

George Notfou (gold)

Sapphe Nahfpe (bronze)

Badboy Haelow (burgundy)

don't come at me saying only females are allowed to be jades and fuschias; gender is fake and this is an au

more of the AU and the talksprites are under the cut:

Tommy

Lunar sway: Derse. Types in: Red

chaotic. the first person to be introduced.

when he gets introduced instead of the “Zoosmell Pooplord” bit, Tommy is initially going to be the name inputted but then backspaced it and decided that Tommyinnit was better and he was fuming until he’s named Tommy.

Gives me big Blood/Hope vibes. Blood because a lot of the conflict of the dream smp connected to someone breaking his trust or harming the things he cares about, Hope because a lot of the plot of the dream smp stems from Tommy starting shit based on his ideals and what he thinks is right.

the first to instigate fighting against the trolls

bbh contacts him once and tommy keeps cursing until he disconnects from frustration rip

wields Gunkind and his only strife weapon at the beginning is the Vlog gun. He has Gunkind as his strife specibus mainly because he looked up at schlatt and he imitates him.

Fundy

Lunar sway: Prospit. Types in: Orange

it was his idea to play SBURB but only through Dream.

he talks to dream the most among the other trolls fwt stans getcha juice this is the rosemary of the session

dream’s the one giving him exposition about the game so that’s how he knows how to play SBURB.

wilbur trolls fundy once and instantly adopts him.

“You’re my son.” “How does that even work??” “I was one of the people who created your universe. It’s basically the same thing.”

Fundy relents anyway.

Techno

Lunar sway: Derse. Types in: Pink

dave strider but dead-inside voice + rose lalonde english major vibes

he slices the text box when you try to name him "Dave " like in

techno gives me time player vibes (contantly on the move. his skyblock series, his “stays in the pit” monologue,) but also rage vibes (anarchy, the “theseus” monologue, political alignment is Chaos) alas i am not sure what class

uses Tridentkind and claims "it came from god"

it was dream, he accidentally transportalized one of wilbur’s weapon while he testing the transportalizer.

Tubbo

Lunar sway: Prospit. Types in: Green

the jade harley of this session. the only thing keeping them from going apeshit. where would they be without him.

but also jade harley in a sense that he seems nice and wholesome but also don’t fuck with them they can mess you up

Heart/Life vibes??? someone good at classpecting help

i put them in prospit bc of the "tubbo third eye" instead of tubbo having a sixth sense or smth, they see the future from the clouds of skaia when they sleep

wields Stress-relieverKind at some point

bonus: everyone’s actual hair colors

Ideas about the Trolls

no i haven’t done their sprites yet bc it would take so much time and i’m not even sure if people wanna see more of this au skjdkdsakdfkl,, but i have Design Ideas.

events of the dsmp revolution are just a FLARP session drawing parallels to how the homestuck trolls had a FLARP session that spoiler alert: destroyed friendships. dtrio, eret, will are involved. eret betrays will's faction and wilbur's still Bitter over that.

on the context of alternia (highbloods and lowbloods) lmanburg and dreamsmp have their roles SWAPPED. the emancipation theme thing is completely gone since highbloods are in more power than the lowbloods (the dream team) .

wilbur made a faction called l’manburg because he wants a place where he and his fellow highbloods could make drugs vibe.they take a piece of land that was owned by the dream team. in normal circumstances, they shouldve stood down because lowbloods aren't supposed to start shit with highbloods (especially a group of highbloods that has the alternian heir among them) but dream turned it into an activism thing about lowblood rights. the story plays as close as possible without tommy or tubbo in it (which is pretty hard ik but this is the best can do).

like in the dreamsmp revolution, dream kinda let wilbur do what he wants but this time he has more reason to because he’s in a lower caste. dream really only fought back when wilbur announced that he’d be building lmanburg on their land and calling it theirs.

eret betrays wilbur by supporting the lowbloods and wilbur and co. technically won but only because he finally called the drones in, as a reference to how lmanburg absolutely got crushed by the dream team in the smp but technically won. l’manburg keeps the piece of land and the dream team scatter away to find a new home.

wilbur soot's a fuschia because a) he's in a position that has a lot of power, b) yknow how he wrote a song about squids and his thing with sally… yeah.

eret's a violet because nobility!! dream looks down on him because he's ambivalent on fighting for lowblood rights when he's in a power to do so "you just sit there, and you look pretty that's it"

also like eridan he has a minor aesthetic mutation (herobrine eyes) that won't classify him as a mutant.

jschlatt is purple because it makes sense thematically because of the gamzee parallels (a. substance abuse b. if you know what happens in act 6, you know this already but spoiler alert, he ruins the main protagonists' lives) also he's a funnyman he deserves the clown caste

quackity's a teal because he’s a law student. moving on--

ok but for real it also makes sense thematically because he's the one who wrote the thing that tricked schlatt into agreeing also he gets manipulated by schlatt which also draws parallels to certain events in the comic

skeppy and bbh are BEST FRIENDS despite being highblood and lowblood respectively. initially, skeppy just wanted to bother bbh but they grew to be good friends in time. y’know like how they actually becane friends :D

philza minecraft is a jade because dad friend. also works thematically, because spoiler alert he gets to murder a seadweller for going batshit crazy.

he also god tiers early. he dies fighting his quick undead denizen (haha baby zombie) but the consorts of his land carry him to his quest bed because he’s treated them all so well.

dream was initially going to be another caste but then i realized that means i have to make his hoodie something other than green which is unacceptable so its a good thing the fact that he's a lime works out

dream was the one who thought of playing sgrub in the first place- initially only planned to have gogy, sap, and bbh in the session but then realized that they four won't be enough so he invited more into his session

he’s also the first to go godtier ez clap blind speedrun not sure what classpect tho

the only reason why dream avoided being culled at birth for being a limeblood is because his rng is That Good. he quickly picked up the fact that he’s not supposed to exist and masqueraded as an oliveblood and kept mostly to himself to avoid suspicion.

george is still colorblind but he has lazer eyes along with it instead. dream lives with him in the same hive since being a mutant means dream doesn’t get a lusus of his own (dnf fans getcha juice “and they were roommates”)

despite living in the same hive, he never really figures out that dream is a limeblood. possibly because a) he’s colorblind and when he sees dream bleeding he just sees yellow b) he’s just that fucking oblivious and it’s so valid of him.

sapnap’s a bronzeblood mainly because i know he’s the instigator of the pet war with tommy also because i associate him with the color orang in my mind so bronze it is

that’s the end of this long-ass post!! if you have other ideas PLEASE i want to hear them. i don’t know the other streamers i mentioned in here very well so if you have ideas that would be fitting to them like with classpect or lunar sway that would be GREAT.

the only thing i’m confident about in here are the kids’ lunar sways. i’m not an expert in classpects and homestuck lore so there’s that too!! i just wanted to make this post because adhd means that the idea wouldn’t shut up until i finished it. This initially started as a single shitpost edit of tommyinnit talksprite but then the hiveswap 2 trailer came out and that means i have to combine my two hyperfixations.

also i have ideas about potential quadrants but idk how much of that is breaking some streamers’ boundaries about shipping (even the non romantic quads such as kismesistude, morallegiance and auspisticism) so i decided not to include it.

edit: apparently people want more so i made a discord server as a place to brainstorm!! please pm me to join!

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bearseungmin · 2 years ago

Note

can you give us a snippet of not so strayed??👀

004 not so strayed | ot8 miniseries

not so strayed... my lost boys! au for skz that's been in my head for nearly two years now and yet it's still not finished. I'm really hoping to have time to work on it before spooky season ends considering I have an entire other series (aka 003 the price of a bite | ot8 series) that is based around the same theme (except it's a fic per member instead of ot8 all together making you question your sanity). but, we will see!

see the WIP GAME that this ask refers to!

snippet of not so strayed: part one "figments of your imagination" below the cut!!!

His scent was thick like the smoke of a fire, the distant man passing by your form. By fate or karma, you took notice of him. His leather jacket swayed through the crowd like a drop of rain moving through rocks. Undetected, but impressionable.

Lights beamed and music blared, the crackles of the sparklers in people's hands giving an aura to the overwhelming pier. A concert played in the distance, the orange flickers of the flames presenting shadows along your skin.

You tried to move at his pace, to keep up with the mysterious man's figure. But just as you caught a glimpse of his side profile, the smirk telling that he knew he was being followed, he finally fell in between the cracks.

You halted just outside of the calmest store present, the long aisles of thick and thin booklets enough of a distraction from the stranger to make you move inside. Comics with colors bright and looming, your eyes sifted over each and every one until a gruesome sight caught your glance.

A large man with a distraught woman in his arms, blood dripping from the main artery in her neck. Her face was terrified, while he was satisfied.

"The ones who tread at night are more frightening than monsters in closets." A deep voice caught your ears, a guy at your side peering at the same comic.

Fluffy blonde hair pulled from his face by a red bandana, his skin was amply illuminating that you could count each and every freckle on his cheeks until they met at the bridge of his nose.

The first to offer you guidance since halting inside the desensitizing town, he blinked his welcome.

"Name's Felix, and you're new here."

"So I've heard and lived." His faint smile warmed you, blood rushing through every vein in light of the acquaintance just in time for his sight to dart away from you.

"We get new people often, but none with your tone."

"I'm sorry, have I already done something?" The angle in your voice was unveiling, the guy shifting from his heels to his toes as he lifted the comic with his index finger and thumb alone.

"Most people who come here aren't looking for a good place, but a good time." You watched his lips finish speaking before they motioned the words of the comic's title, 'Dark nights, Cold Bodies'. "You, on the other hand, seem so out of place. You didn't come here on purpose, did you?"

"Blown tire on the freeway. Happens to stop a trip, ya-know."

His eyes got wider with his nod, the pearled teeth between his lips admirable. Felix had said so little to you, but his attention still sat upon the comic in between his fingers.

"On me." His teeth went behind his smile, lips a pale pink as you stared for too long. "Might save you one day."

"Vampires are a figment of some very good storyteller's imagination." Your response sounded sarcastic.

"Then how do you explain the found burials of those that have risen. Broken coffins, long teeth, stake through the heart?"

"An odd last wish. Someone with a sense of humor knew what they wanted even after death."

His head tilted to the side with innocence, eyes casting sight of your face. "Clever."

"It would be smart to think that far ahead."

"I mean you."

—

#not me falling in love with this series again...#chae thank you for asking for a snippet of this i think you just single handedly fixed my writers block w this series #the way i had to edit the first part just to post this lmao this wip is OLD #like i started drafting this mini series when i started writing for skz in 2020 old #bearseungmin.inbox #i always automatically type out your writing blog url when adding tags instead of your main LMAO #ethereallino #wip game 2022

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x0401x · 4 years ago

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Jeweler Richard Fanbook Short Story #15

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Richard-sensei’s Cooking Classroom

On a bright morning in Kandy, a provincial town from Sri Lanka, a man was standing still in his kitchen. Leaning against the wall was a Japanese book titled “Breakfast for People Who Live Alone”. There were three items on the menu. Just an omelet with ketchup on top, boiled sausages and fruit salad yogurt.

Regardless, the kitchen where the man was standing was an explosion of colors, as if it were the atelier of some Dadaist painter. Perhaps he was wrong in trying to make an omelet, the blond man thought, tilting his head despondently. Loved by the god of beauty, his blond hair swayed smoothly, and on the wall behind him, the exploded omelet was scattered in all directions, giving off an artistic atmosphere. It was obvious that in order to cook an omelet on a frying pan, it was necessary to shake up said pan, but the specific method of how hard one should shake it had not even once made an appearance in his life, much like fairies and unicorns from fictional stories. As a result of him jerking the pan with moderate adjustment, the omelet had flown off, hitting the wall and dripping down under the influence of gravity.

The beautiful man cast his eyes at the opposite side of the kitchen with a melancholic look as well. His golden eyelashes reflected a rainbow-colored prism and shone like an emerald-green sea under the morning sun. In a corner, where a microwave and water heater sat on top of the kitchen table, something orange had burst all over the place from within the microwave. Just why did food blow up so often, the man wondered, silently ashamed of his ignorance for trying to reduce just two rules of thumb to common sense. When he put three vacuum-packed blood sausages in the microwave and warmed them up, the sausages lost their original shape with a faint explosive sound. Obeying the instructions that said, “Bain-marie or microwave”, the man had chosen the microwave, which seemed less difficult, but probably due to some process being neglected or the heating time being incorrect, the sausages had undergone a magical transformation, looking like some sort of eerie monster.

Moving his feet so as not to make a sound, the man headed to the dining room, lightly placing a hand on the large table and elegantly gazing at the tabletop. Fragments of yellow and green were floating on a sea of white.

“Fruits yogurt,” the man whispered, as if it were a magic spell, heaving a spring breeze-like sigh.

It was just chopped fruits floating on yogurt. Taking into account the possibility that he could not cut the fruits too meticulously, the man was out of luck to have a slicer with him, and by the moment he realized that this one was apparently not supposed to be used for fruits but rather for slicing things such as cabbages and carrots into thin pieces, the fruits that he had failed to chop had gone flying over the table, surrounding the bowl of yogurt and instantaneously creating a Genesis-like scene on the tabletop. It was chaos.

On 360 degrees, no matter where he looked, it was a foodstuff hell. After looking around one more time at the artistic misery he had created and sighing coarsely, he started anew and began doing a quick cleaning.

“Morning, Richard. You slept well, I see.”

“Good morning, Seigi. So you wake up early even in Sri Lanka. Short sleepers have shorter lives. Didn’t you go to bed yesterday when it was already past midnight?”

“That’s fine for today. I have a guest here, after all. I’ll catch up with my sleep tomorrow.”

“I have not done so much to be called a ‘guest’.”

“There, there; let’s leave that for after we eat.”

His face looking like he was checking on something, the man whose appearance was impeccable even first-thing in the morning, as usual, glanced at the kitchen and dining room of my Sri Lankan house, and then let out a tiny sigh, stopping by a place close to the garden.

“Hey, could it be you woke up early this morning? Like, around 5AM...”

“Why?”

“I wonder if it was my imagination.”

In this three-story house, the first floor was a shared space for the dining room and bathroom, while the second and third floors had bedrooms. The room that I used as my main one was on the second floor, and the room on the third floor was used when Richard came over to be my overseer, but only the first floor had a bathroom. Whenever someone was going down to the first floor, one could tell by the sound of them stepping on the stairs. That was no big deal when I was alone, but this was the kind of house that would disturb other people’s sleep if I didn’t walk quietly whenever I needed to use the toilet in the middle of the night.

At around five o’clock, probably because I was drowsy, I had the feeling that someone had gone downstairs. I went back to sleep thinking that maybe Richard, who was looking after me despite having a jetlag, felt like having a late-night snack or something, but it was apparently a wrong guess.

Said man, dressed in a soft-looking shirt and the beige pants that he usually wore when he was relaxed, was standing still with eyes wide-open. It seemed he had noticed what was on the table. I was happy with the reaction.

“I’ve got breakfast for us. Hope it suits your taste.”

“Why? You said yesterday that your breakfast was just cereal and fruits.”

“I indeed said this yesterday, but I wanted to show it’s really not like that every single day. I also didn’t want you to worry for no reason.”

Plain omelets, sausages and fruit salad. For some reason, this house had many pottery dishes from European brands instead of Sri Lankan ones, but they were working out well for today. The paintings of green and pink pedicels over a white background were apparently from a German brand. It was actually my first time making a breakfast like this, which looked like it could show up in a commercial for some newly built apartment building and wasn’t as filling as its appearance suggested, but it had been surprisingly fun.

“I saw the recipe book in the kitchen. It’s a present for me, right? Thank you. I was happy to read a book in Japanese after so long, so I decided to make the part that showed up when I opened it into our menu. Now, now, please have a seat and eat up.”

For about solid ten seconds, Richard stared at the one-plate breakfast, his gaze looking like he was seeing a stone that he had never set his eyes on before, but then, after giving a start as if just remembering that I existed, he sat down with his same-old graceful demeanor.

“Well then, shall we?”

And so, Richard ate breakfast next to me. At times like these, this man would become extremely well-mannered, taking notice of and praising the details, such as the fineness of the omelet’s texture and the beauty of the fruit cuts in the yogurt, as if he were evaluating a five-million-yen jewelry or something. Even while being in Sri Lanka, I sometimes thought that if there were teachers like him in middle or high school around Japan, it would save many children.

“Thanks; that makes me happy. I’m benefiting from it too. Getting so many compliments for just boiling sausages.”

I didn’t know very well how to describe Richard’s face when I said that. His expression seemed like it could be the theme of a masterpiece painting, as if the exceptionally beautiful man had suddenly been reminded of an indescribable pain in the depths of his chest, but was struggling not to expose it in his facial expression. When I asked what was up, the reply was a gentle smile. His usual face was already back.

“I believe I have already said this several times, but you are extremely smart. You decipher the texts, assemble the methods in your head and put them to practice. There are more hardships in this process than you can imagine. Nevertheless, you specialize at it. This is clearly a talent of yours. Be sure to cherish it.”

“I will. But, well, I think doing my best because someone else’s gonna eat it also counts.”

For security reasons, I wasn’t allowed to invite guests to this house. I was sometimes called over to the house of a local friend I had made, and then I’d cook a simple dish there, but guests that make several meticulous dishes on the spot were probably not very welcome. So whenever there were days like these, when “guests” officially recognized by the house’s owner, Saul-san, occasionally came over, it was a great opportunity for me have a change of pace.

While thanking Richard for washing the dishes, I cleaned up the dining room and before moving on to stone study, which was my daily routine in the morning (at any rate, I had to examine stones thoroughly, guess their prices and drill the right and wrong ones into my head; pretty simple), I asked him about lunch. Richard-sensei was very busy. No time for leisure.

“You’ll be off again in the evening flight, right? What we gonna do about lunch? If you’re leaving at three o’clock, then you’ll still be in Kandy at noon, right? Can we go to a restaurant I like?”

“What a good thing it is that you found a ‘restaurant you like’ in this country. Allow me to accompany you.”

While smiling, Richard was about to let out a yawn, yet he hastily bit it down. He was like a prideful cat. As I thought, he seemed a little sleepy. When I suggested him to go to bed again, he said that he didn’t mind it, since he was going to sleep in the night flight either way. And yet he was calling me a short sleeper.

I glanced at the dining room and the kitchen. They were neatly organized. From their tidy and orderly state, I could tell with just a look that I obviously hadn’t cleaned them to this point last night. There wasn’t a single speck of dust on the floor. Despite the difference between the inside and outside of the house being so vague. There was no evidence left, but it was clear that something had happened here. Not a murder, but a more peaceful and heartwarming incident. The suspect showed no signs of confessing. So I wouldn’t say anything either. No particular comments on the multiple rags and some food remains at the bottom of the organic waste bag. I only had one thing that I wanted to say no matter what, so I hoped he’d just let me say it.

After finishing the meal, I waited for the beautiful man to stand up, and then I went behind Richard, clutching his shoulders. I was going to say it before he turned around, asking what I was doing. It was best if I didn’t see his face. There was no telling what I could say when I was staring at him in fascination.

“I myself don’t know very well what I’m talking about, so I want you to forget it in two seconds, but I was reeeally happy for this morning. Really happy. To a shocking extent.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I said I didn’t know either, right? I don’t get it, but anyway, I was happy. That’s all! Aight, study time.”

Without looking at Richard’s face until the very end, I started knocking a thousand gemstones in my workspace on the first floor. I had to look over them while it was morning. This was my current job. Richard didn’t say anything else, but his back looked calm under his shirt, so I was a bit relieved as well. Thinking back on it now, I had taken the wrong path at that time. I should have told him “not to overdo it” more clearly.

Two weeks later, Richard came back, but this time, I heard a small explosion at 6AM. Three times in a row. What did it take for things to turn out this way? The current time was already 7AM. Between getting up right now or not, which one would be less of a hassle later on? I didn’t even want to think about what had been made of the dining room. There was no one other than the two of us in this house and this wasn’t a matter that I had to go as far as asking the landlord, Saul-san, for advice on, so I knew I was the one who had to deal with it anyway. I wanted someone to decide in my stead. What should I do?

#housekishou richard shi no nazo kantei #housekishou richard #jeweler richard #the case files of jeweler richard #nakata seigi #richard ranashinha de vulpian #richard ranashinghe de vulpian #richard #jr short story collection #tsujimura nanako #yukihiro utako #novel #my translation

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lupiiifics · 3 years ago

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Halloween Frights

Fic #4 Posted on AO3 on October 15, 2021.

Summary: Lupin drags Jigen to a haunted house. He does not have a good time.

Word Count: 3635

“Damn it, Lupin. Do we really have to do this?” Jigen asked as he followed Lupin into the smoke-filled building. Normally the scent of smoke didn’t bother him, but this was different. It was sweet and sticky. Mixed with strawberry vape juice and what had to be a fog machine.

Lupin smiled at him, biting down on a cigarette as they stepped up the stairs to the front door. He wore a long black and red reversible cape with a surprisingly realistic set of fake fangs, as well as some makeup Fujiko had done before they left. Fake blood trailed the sides of his mouth, giving him the appearance of a bloodthirsty vampire in search of his next victim.

Jigen himself hadn’t dressed up, but he did have two fang marks dotted just below the collar of his jacket. It had been Lupin’s idea since Jigen had refused to put on a costume. It had been a fight to get him to agree to this in the first place, so Lupin didn’t try to push anything other than some stage makeup. Haunted houses and costume parties weren’t Jigen’s thing, but Lupin wanted to go and when Lupin wanted something, Jigen just couldn’t bring himself to refuse.

“Don’t be such a downer, Jigen,” Lupin said. They stepped through a dimly lit hallway to another filled with people. A line stretched through this hallway to the entrance of the main room, with each waiting person dressed in every costume imaginable. “This’ll be fun!”

“For you maybe,” Jigen said. He reached forward and stole the cigarette from Lupin’s mouth, jamming it into his own. Lupin looked offended, but he didn’t say anything. “But not all of us get our kicks making out with dracula’s bride or jumping at cheap scares for fun.”

“We’re relaxing ,” Lupin said. “It’s Halloween and the weekend. Learn to loosen up.”

“Whatever you say, boss,” Jigen let out a deep sigh of smoke, passing the cigarette back to his partner. “Those taste like shit.”

“Smoke your own then,” Lupin said, pouting. They moved past a sign which said, “Welcome to the Haunted House!” as well as a bouncer checking the IDs of the people they deemed young enough.

Jigen smirked at him. “But where’s the fun in that? I am a thief, you know.”

Lupin was stopped by the bouncer, while Jigen was not. He wasn’t sure if he should have been offended by that, but Lupin seemed happy, if his giggles were anything to go by, anyway.

“Told you you were an old man, Jiji,” Lupin said. He tucked one of his many fake IDs back into his wallet and stepped through the threshold where Jigen was waiting. Strings of tiny plastic skeletons hung in the doorway, clacking together as people continuously passed through it.

“You’re only three years younger than me,” Jigen said. “And they only checked your ID. because Fujiko did your makeup. It’s dark so it’s hard to tell.”

“What’s my makeup got to do with anything?” Lupin asked.

“Makes you look younger,” Jigen said.

“I am young.”

“So how am I old?”

Lupin grinned at him. “Who got carded just now?”

Jigen shoved a cigarette from his own pack into his mouth, tamping the top of his hat back down to hide his face. “40’s not old, man,” Jigen said. “They’re checkin’ IDs. Does that mean there’s a bar?”

“Way to change the subject,” Lupin said, laughing, “but yes, there is a bar.”

He led Jigen past the entrance to a larger room filled to the brim with smog and people. Two large smoke machines puffed vapor at their feet, and from the ceiling hung the obviously-fake, but noless creepy bodies of what Jigen thought were supposed to be zombies. He couldn’t really tell due to the darkness, but given the fake upturned graves littered throughout the venue, he was pretty sure that’s what the theme was. Red, orange, purple, and green lights colored the room, illuminating off the brightly hued garland that decorated various tables and chairs sitting throughout the room.

Lupin seemed eager to mingle with any person he could get his hands on, while Jigen felt more inclined to seek out this bar for a drink. They agreed to meet up when the haunted house actually opened in an hour, since that’s what Lupin had wanted to come for.

Apparently this place was famous for its scares, and the fact that they served alcohol to go along with it.

Music blared from speakers at the front of the room, playing any song they could associated with Halloween. Some of the songs he recognized, and others he did not. He had to fight through a group of people gathered to dance, heading to a line which he was certain led to his target. He felt out of place standing there alone. Honestly, he had wanted to stay back with Goemon and Fujiko, but Lupin had insisted. The thief always knew exactly what to do to get Jigen to agree with something, and while the idea of a haunted house made him nervous, he had decided to suffer through just to make Lupin happy.

The line to the bar was long. Many of the people standing in it were younger than him, and much more social. Though, despite how awkward he felt, he didn’t stick out like he normally did. In fact, there were a good number of people wearing outfits similar to his. He wasn’t sure if that was on purpose— they were world-famous thieves after all— or if they were just dressed as generic mobsters. Many of them reminded him of his old associates, and for a moment, he itched to reach back and grab his Magnum. He decided to drown those old feelings with something strong, so he ordered a few shots and downed them one right after the other.

Most people didn’t pay him any mind, but when a few of them noticed his shots and the fierce glare he hurled at anyone who dared approach him, they began to back away out of fear. Years of working with Goemon had taught them all to be imposing. The only thing it took was a few dark glances, and the natural dominance that came with slicing things at will. Jigen had that same sort of confidence. The kind which came from a 0.3 second draw and the assurance of a target well struck.

He lingered near the bar, ordering drinks and glaring at anyone he deemed necessary. People didn’t fight him as he entered the line time and time again. By the time an hour had passed, he knew the bartender’s name (Abby) as well as what was good on their menu.

He was about 4 drinks deep when his phone buzzed, and a text from Lupin popped up at the top of the screen. He squinted as he tried to read it, a mixture of alcohol and bright light making the words hard to decipher.

“Meet me where we came in,” was all it said. He looked across the crowd to determine his best path, knocking back the last of his drink and placing the glass down on the bar to be discarded. He tipped his hat at Abby as he left, passing the young girl a sizable tip for her troubles.

Getting through the oscillating group of dancers was a bit more difficult now that his steps weren’t as straight. Unlike the people at the bar, these people didn’t find him intimidating. They were too focused on dancing, slamming into passersby without a care in the world.

He found Lupin standing by the smoke machines talking with a woman scantily clad in a police officer's costume. He jokingly held up his hands like he was about to allow her to arrest him, and the woman scoffed and turned away. He was disappointed for all of a second before he spotted Jigen. He jumped forward to greet him.

“Hey, Jiji! Ready for the haunted house?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Jigen shoved his hands into his pocket, inclining his head upwards to allow his partner a peek at his eyes. “Saw you strike out. You have any luck findin’ someone to entertain you?”

Lupin shrugged. “The night’s still young,” he said. He smirked. “And I have you, so I’m happy.”

Jigen looked down to hide his blush, though he wasn’t too successful given the one already there from how much he’d had to drink. “I’m glad,” he said. “Now let’s get this over with.”

Lupin grasped his wrist and began trying to pull him through the crowds. Jigen, who was beginning to feel the full force of the drinks he’d had, stumbled along behind him. It was much more difficult getting past the mob with two people rather than one. Without their interlocked hands, Jigen and Lupin would have been pushed apart by the rotating people and their various costume props. He was hit in the face by many fake pairs of wings, plastic medieval weapons, and people not watching where they were going.

They came to a line at the head of the room, quickly lengthening as the opening of the haunted house was announced over the speakers. It was louder here, located between the bar, the dance floor, and a growing crowd of excited people. Lupin practically vibrated as they stood in line, his enthusiasm fueled by the hum of elation in the air. Jigen could feel the unraveling of anxiety coiling in his chest. It strengthened with every step he took, agitated by the decorations and the idea of something jumping out at him.

The line was moving quickly as people entered the maze of horrors. At the front of the vinyl ropes was a hanging display of corpses. They were illuminated by bright stage lights, allowing Jigen and Lupin to see the horrible details. For Lupin, this marked the beginning of something he’d been looking forward to. For Jigen, the sight of fake blood, torn flesh, and yellowing bone compelled him to turn around and make his way back home. His anxiety hardened into a knot, which weighed down his chest and tricked him into thinking he couldn’t breathe.

"Nah. Nah. Nah. Nope. Don't like it. I don't fucking like it," he said.

Lupin stared between him, and the almost cartoonish display zombies they had hanging by the door. "What's wrong with it? It's just a Halloween decoration. It's not gonna jump out at you."

Jigen teetered back and forth on his heels, shaking his head. "Yeah, but somethin' in there will. 'S fucking creepy. I don't like it."

"How much have you had to drink?" Lupin asked. He continued to pull them inside as the line got smaller, but the more Jigen stewed in his dread and his intoxication, the more he began to drag his feet.

"Not enough. I don't think I can do this, Lup," he said. "You know jumpscares aren't my thing."

“It won’t be that bad,” Lupin said. “Besides, you’ve done stuff way scarier than this. Why’s a few fake zombies got you so wired up?”

“I just don’t like ‘em,” Jigen tugged the brim of his hat down over his eyes.

“Here, I’ll tell you what,” Lupin smiled at Jigen, holding out one of his hands. “I’ll let you hold onto me if that’ll make you feel better.”

Jigen stared at the offered hand, but turned his eyes away from it despite himself. “‘M not a baby.”

Lupin laughed, dropping his hand. “You’re ridiculous , that’s what you are. If you don’t wanna hold my hand, that’s fine by me. Just don’t expect the other not to hear about this later.”

Jigen snatched his cigarettes out of one of his pockets, shoving one of them between his teeth. “Asshole,” he murmured. Lupin laughed again, and turned just in time to see one of the workers beckoning them through the entrance to the haunted maze. Jigen could hear the shrieks of the people who had entered ahead of them, just one more thing that fed the flames that burned within his chest.

The beginning of the maze was dark. He couldn’t see much other than Lupin’s costumed back, as well as the smog that trickled in from another smoke machine. The walls were decorated to look like tall hedges, towering over the thieves and reminding Jigen of a scene he’d seen in a movie. For a while, they simply navigated, taking turn after turn in an eerie silence punctuated by occasional screams. Jigen tried his best to focus on anything but what was about to happen, taking in lungfuls of smoke and letting it filter heavily out through his nose.

As they rounded yet another corner, a person in dark crimson robes jumped out at them from a doorway hidden in the wall. Their face was painted like the bloody corpses he’d seen outside the maze, and the wail that emanated from him was loud, shrill, and embarrassing. He could hear Lupin laughing as they passed the first of the scares, his shoulders shaking in time with his incessant giggling.

“I’ve never heard you make that noise before,” he said. “Holy shit that was so funny.”

“I’m gonna punch you,” Jigen said. He snuffed out his cigarette and shoved the filter into his pocket to be thrown away later. “I’m not drunk enough for this.”

They continued down the hedge maze to a dark hallway littered with the same upturned graves they’d seen in the main room of the building. Discolored hands of many sizes rose to snatch at their feet, grasping both of their ankles and immediately letting go so they could pass.

Jigen didn't like it. The moment he felt a hand grasp his leg, he decided he was done with this whole ordeal.

He crashed into Lupin’s back, screaming like many of the people they'd heard ahead of them. He gripped the other man’s cloak and buried his face in it, officially done with being scared for the night. Lupin looked back to stare at the top of his hat, his face half contorted into amusement and concern.

“Hey,” he said. “You okay?”

“I want out of here,” Jigen said, voice muffled by Lupin’s back. “I don’t like this.”

Lupin turned to wrap an arm around Jigen’s shoulders, allowing the gunman to bury his face in his neck instead. “Well we can’t go back the way we came,” he said. “I can’t believe you’re freaked out by this. I thought you’d find it amusing.”

“I don’t like creepy things, man,” Jigen said. “I thought you knew that.”

“Yeah, but you’ve seen a lot worse in our line of work.”

“That’s different.”

“How?”

“I can shoot anything that scares me with my Magnum.”

“Please don’t shoot any of the people in this maze,” Lupin said, voice flat. “They’re just having fun like everyone else.”

“‘M not stupid,” Jigen said. “I know they’re not real. Doesn’t mean I like it.”

“I’ll protect you,” Lupin said. “Just leave it up to me!”

They continued down the hallway to a maze of mirrors. Lupin navigated with one of his hands outstretched, feeling his way through the passageways and grinning at the reflection of Jigen cowering into his shoulder. Every so often, as they walked past reflections of themselves, a face would appear to jump out and replace them. Each scare made Jigen jump, and despite hiding his face, he still couldn’t handle the terror. Eventually, they found themselves in a revolving room with shifting paintings. Some of the paintings were replicas of artists they’d actually stolen from before. Each one opened to reveal a person dressed as the painting’s muses. They were disguised as bloodier versions of the people within the paintings, with torn clothes, pale faces, and the blank eyes of someone long dead.

Lupin found most of these scares amusing. None of them were particularly scary. At least to him. To Jigen, they were terrifying, though Lupin suspected that was more due to his intoxication than anything else. Jigen tended to blow things out of proportion, especially when drunk. Lupin probably should have stopped him from consuming so much, but Jigen was a grown man who could make his own decisions. Besides, he didn’t mind Jigen clinging to him. It was actually kind of cute. In the way a gruff old mafia man could be cute, anyway.

By the time they made it out of the maze, and they were back in the main room, Jigen was so worked up he literally refused to let Lupin go. He had to practically drag the man through the crowds to the front of the building. Luckily the people were starting to dwindle, mostly due to a lot of them exploring the maze and the attractions within it. They went out the way they came in, stumbling past excited people to the dim hallway and steep steps they’d climbed to enter.

The Fiat was a few blocks down the street, which seemed much more daunting now than it had when they first arrived. Jigen wasn’t much help as they walked down the sidewalk. He kept dragging his feet, mumbling random words of terror as Lupin tried to get him to the car. At this point, he was nearly asleep, a mixture of alcohol and fear-fueled exhaustion weighing both of them down. Despite the outward darkness, it was only about 11:00pm, and while Lupin would have wanted to stay and mingle with people a little longer, he figured he’d put Jigen through enough for the night.

It was a relief when they finally made it to the car. Getting Jigen off his arm onto the passenger-side seat was more difficult than Lupin wanted to admit, and while the clinging was nice, he couldn’t drive with Jigen on his lap. Eventually he managed to get him lounging against the headrest, his feet kicked up to rest on the dash. He finally seemed to be calming down, and now he seemed embarrassed.

“You won’t mention this to anyone ,” he said. “Or I’m gonna put you out of your misery.”

“Aw but, Jiji. I have to tell the others how I saved you from the zombies,” Lupin teased.

“Don’t make me repeat myself,” Jigen said. “ Not a word .”

“Alright, alright,” Lupin started the car. He checked his mirrors and pressed on the clutch to shift into first gear. “I won’t tell anyone, but you’ve gotta promise me something.”

“What?”

“You have to let me be your knight in shining armor more often. That was adorable.”

“Idiot,” Jigen said. He readjusted his hat to sit farther down on his face, reclining his seat to lean back and close his eyes. “Jus’ go home already, would you?”

“Yes, sir!” Lupin threw the car into motion, doing just as Jigen had asked him. He saluted Jigen a moment later, and the gunman scoffed.

The drive home wasn’t very long. At the moment they were renting a house not too far off from the suburbs, which wasn't far from the city. It was located in the middle of a town which had charming little shops, as well as children out with their parents for trick-or-treating. Most of these children were older. Old enough to be out by themselves, gathering the last of the spoils before people shut off their lights and stopped answering their doors. The fog light at the front of their garage was on, along with the lights from the living room shining through the front windows. He parked in the driveway and shut off the car. The lack of sound coming from the engine jolted Jigen awake, and both of them got out to go inside.

They were greeted by Goemon holding a large half-full bowl of candy. He was wearing an older kimono that had been tarnished by one of their jobs, as well as his Sandogasa despite him being inside. The image was so odd, Lupin immediately broke into laughter. He looked up at the samurai and found Fujiko standing not too far away dressed in her own costume.

“What are you doing?” Lupin asked. “Why are you dressed like that?”

“It was Fujiko’s idea,” Goemon said. “She told me the people here enjoy handing out candy to children as a Halloween tradition.”

“Yeah, but why are you dressed like that?”

“I’m a samurai,” Goemon said, like that was obvious. “The children seemed fascinated by my attire so I decided to indulge them.”

“He’s been having fun showing off for the neighbors,” Fujiko said. She was wearing a slightly-more-modest than usual costume, complete with a tight-fitting leather jumpsuit, whiskers painted on her cheeks with eyeliner, and a pair of dollar store cat ears. “Did you two have fun?”

Lupin grinned. “Yeah, you won’t believe what happened—”

“ Lupin ,” Jigen came up from behind Lupin, pressing a rough hand against the master thief’s shoulder. “You promised.”

Lupin slumped, sighing out his disappointment. “ Fine ,” he said. “The maze was a little boring, but it was fun enough.”

Fujiko and Goemon looked between the two of them. “Did something happen?” Goemon asked. “Pops didn’t show up or anything, did he?”

Lupin waved a hand. “Nah, it’s nothing. Just Jiji here being overdramatic.”

“Don’t make me act on my threat,” Jigen said, touching his side where his Magnum was holstered. “You know I’ll go through with it.”

Lupin frowned, and nodded his head quickly to appease his friend. His zipped his lips. “My lips are sealed, dear Jigen. You can trust me.”

Jigen didn't look like he believed him, but his hand left his side and he leaned down onto Lupin's shoulders again. He upturned his head, and allowed Lupin to lock eyes with his own. "Thanks, boss," he said. "I appreciate it."

#lupin iii #fujiko mine #jigen daisuke #goemon ishikawa #lupin x jigen #my writing

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ayzrules · 4 years ago

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✶ 𝐇𝐗𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐒: 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 & 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒, 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 & 𝐃𝐀𝐌𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 Long story short, I have been thinking about this for wayyyyy too long now and wanted to get some ~thoughts~ & analysis written down! This post is going to be...fairly long, lol. Apologies in advance :D

Also, if you can’t see the last gif (the one for ‘holy’), click here. Tumblr keeps fucking up the image when i try to upload it :////

This post is probably going to be about 2/3 yorknew & phantom troupe/kurapika focused, 1/3 chimera ants, maybe with some references to other arcs (including manga-only arcs) mixed in. so, ofc, tons of spoilers ahead! also, i realize that my blog theme is hard to read (and i’m p sure clicking ‘keep reading’ sends you to the og post itself), so i’m linking the post w/ full text copy/pasted in on my art backup side blog (which has a more legible font) here.

✶ 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 I’m sure absolutely nobody is surprised with me starting here - there is just. SO. MUCH. DEATH. in hxh. & right from the start, one thing I noticed that togashi really emphasized was the #4 and its connection to death. in japanese, chinese, and im p sure some other asian cultures the number 4 is pronounced like the word for death so it’s associated with death in general, and boy oh boy does the ‘deadly number 4′ thing show up E V E R Y W H E R E. we get to the hunter exam, and hisoka is applicant #44. kurapika is #404. i didn’t notice it at first, but this was so intentional holy shit. togashi is NOT SUBTLE.

So pika & hisoka are, right off the bat, associated with death. okay. and then there are even more clues to drive the point home: hisoka is member #4 in the phantom troupe, kurapika’s birthday is april 4th (aka 4/4). 100% not a coincidence (!!). with hisoka, it’s pretty obvious why togashi’s throwing all this death 444444 stuff around - dude is a psycho murder pedo clown, literally gets off on killing people (and there’s also the fact that judas sits 4th from the left in the last supper painting, and he’s sort of the judas equivalent for the phantom troupe). with kurapika, though, it’s a bit more subtle and woven deeper into his characterization, which i LOVE. togashi puts the mans in blue & gold & white (traditionally ‘pure’ or ‘heavenly’ colors), makes him so fucking kind & so good-hearted.....when he’s not relentlessly pursuing his revenge, ofc. more on this in the next section, but pika = death. togashi has made that v v v clear.

Backtracking a bit to hisoka, though, I also just wanted to point out the 4 is death symbolism in the fortunes too (GOD i love the fortunes): in one translation, he’s the false fourth moon, and in the og japanese (i think), he’s the false hare (4th in the lunar zodiac or w/e it’s called. i don’t know the japanese cultural influences here, but in the chinese legend that established the zodiac animals, they race across the heavenly river & the top 12 animals got zodiac slots. the hare finished 4th, so it’s #4 in the cycle).

And just as a final note, Tserriednich is the fourth prince of the kakin empire, and also another dude who has a hard-on for murder & other gory shit. again: togashi is not subtle with this, lmfao

✶ 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐘, 𝐔𝐍𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐘 As probably everyone who’s gotten to yorknew knows, togashi is so 0 fucks given when he wants to be. I mean there’s the whole thing where he just. took New York and decided, Yorknew. LMFAO, but also, he made the main antag of that arc be named chrollo lucilfer, sit around in a ruined church, have a reversed cross coat, pale & dark-haired/dark-eyed, generally dressed in dark colors, very terrible murder guy. liiiike......chrollo x devil symbolism game is 1000/10 at this point lmaooo

And i know absolutely nothing about christianity in general, but pt/kurapika & yorknew arc is just so full of christian imagery/symbolism! one thing that i L O O O O O O V E though is how togashi really blurs the traditional christian-coded good/evil, holy/damned boundaries.

Back to kurapika: he wears gold and blue, his coloring is very stereotypically ‘angelic’, he’s precious and good and kind. his chains are all about ~judgment~ and ~healing~ - some of the chains are also in literal cross shapes, aren’t they? And the chain dagger in his own heart...the imagery is very startlingly similar to the immaculate heart of mary, where the swords stabbing thru the heart apparently represent seven sorrows. IDK much about this stuff other than the visual similarities; literally had to google ‘daggers through heart christianity?’ to even get the name of that thing LOL. anyway, at first, it seems like togashi establishes him as the ‘angel’, the ‘good’, the ‘holy’ in the angel/devil, good/evil, holy/damned dichotomy between him and chrollo.

But that’s not the end of the story. his entire storyline is driven by a huuuuuuuge giant desire for vengeance, first of all, and then there’s the scarlet eyes, which canonically are seen as demonic/cursed/what have you (according to one of the movies or smth? where they show pika as a 10 y/o?), and then we also have red eyes in modern culture being associated w pretty much the same thing (vampires, anyone?). the fight scene with uvo has everything in b&w besides the blood on his face & his red eyes & the moon (<<< more fortune foreshadowing & symbolism, i love to see it), and there are tonssss of scenes where he has to suppress his rage. so all of that is obviously not very angelic of him i would say LOL. in fact, what i find super interesting is that the scarlet/red eyes (which are ‘demonic’) is actually the driving factor behind his super powerful nen abilities; this ties in so well with the fortunes & death associations imo! the fortunes call him the ‘death-bringer’ in one translation, or ‘half-angel, half-death’, so that’s one side of pika = red eyes = death, but there’s also the fact that emperor time is literally draining his life force. so pika = death for both himself and others namely the pt, question mark?

Now for chrollo: togashi’s devil symbolism is EXTREMELY overt with him, but i love the subtler jesus references too. the church thing, obviously, and the st. peters cross which is cuz st peter respected jesus too much & didn’t think he was worthy to die in the same way as him (or something like that, i am the most atheist person in the world & hxh is literally my entire christian education pls) but is also used as an anti-christianity symbol these days. bandit’s secret looks like a bible, lbr, and mans has a cross tattoo.

Other things beyond visuals - 12 spiders, 12 apostles; hisoka’s betrayal, where member #4 can be thought to correspond to judas sitting 4th from left at last supper. and this miiiiight be a bit of a stretch, but i think the meteor city being the place of origin may also play into the blurred line between angel/devil and holy/damned here; meteors are defined as space rocks that are in earth’s atmosphere, becoming incandescent in the process. meteorites are for the kinds that actually reach the ground. and idk, lucifer was cast out of heaven / sky too right? so i think there might be some subtle fallen angel imagery/symbolism playing into the pt as well

✶ 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 (𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒) Last section yay! i don’t have as much to say about this, besides when i was making chimera ant arc edits & realized that there might have been some subtle gon/meruem parallels???

So obviously, everyone knows that line killua says to gon - “you are light” - and then i was just remembering that meruem’s name means.... “light that illuminates all” (!!!!). maybe it’s a coincidence, but knowing togashi, i’m leaning towards nahhhh. there HAS TO be some kinda meaning there (!!).

Going back to the events of the chimera ant arc....ooh boy. let’s see: gon is optimistic & hopeful even in the face of kite potentially being dead, killua says he’s light, they find kite & dude is fucked up, gon is pissed. gets all angry & ~dark~, especially during the palace invasion when he’s staring pitou down as she fixes up komugi. then the actual fight against pitou: more darkness, more anger, but through it all there’s still light, namely his jajanken being very orange & fiery lookin.....and that final sequence, where he puts all his possible nen he’d ever have into his ~final form~ or wahtever & turns into a male version of true form!bisky but dressed in a crop top & short-shorts (i am SCARRED, btw. s c a r r e d !). there’s just huuuge flashes of light as that’s going on, and it reminded me of supernovas or dying stars when i was thinking about it, where the star is like, collapsing under its own weight? & burning thru its own fuel, until there’s nothing left except a dwarf or black hole or what have you. one final, extremely deadly burst of light & energy before death.

On the meruem side of things: born into a dark cave, exhibits a traditionally evil/cruel/wicked/whatever personality/traits so that has ppl associating him with darkness. then he gets to know komugi, starts to appreciate other aspects of humanity, seems like he could have actually turned into a decent person who doesn’t want to eat everyone - so that’s a ‘path to light’, maybe? - and then the extermination team yeets themselves into the palace, netero takes him out to bumfuck nowhere, they fight. netero’s fighting is just ALL light, from his giant ass golden 100-type guanyin bodhisattva to the poor man’s rose. again, there’s the sense of finality to it all, in a similar vein to dying stars: netero comes in determined to kill meruem no matter what, and we all know netero doesn’t flake. then we see netero get destroyed after the zero hand, and he triggers the rose, and everything is burning & on fire before the flames are put out and all turns dark again.

But wait!!! pouf & youpi revive meruem and all he does is play gungi with komugi, even with the poison of the rose. he eventually dies, and the gungi pieces in that final shot of them together (i am BAWLING just thinking about it holy shit) has one that’s all white, one that’s a black ring and white inside. i assume all white is for komugi, who has never done ANYTHING wrong in her LIFE, so i like to think that the 2nd one is for meruem - born “into darkness”, literally & figuratively, but he turns something like ‘good’ by the end. it’s interesting how togashi has sort of gone for a bit of a subversion here: the hero going from light to darkness, and the main antag from darkness to light.

✶ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 AahhhhHHHHHhhh so if you read all the way down here through my LONG rambles, tysm! i would LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear what other people think about all this, and i’ve FOR SURE missed tons and tons of stuff - chimera ants is just. SO MUCH. and i don’t know it as well as yorknew eeek.

I’m not sure if i’m really ~knowledgeable~ in any other areas relating to hxh, so this might be the only one of these that i do, but i definitely think about some of this - esp all the religious symbolism & #4 stuff - a ton! so in the meantime, if it’s of any interest, i’m just going to shamelessly plug my hxh x religious beliefs/superstitions edit series :D lots of love to all!!!

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itsclydebitches · 4 years ago

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RWBY Recaps: Volume 8 “Divide”

Hello, everyone, and welcome back! It feels good to be doing some normal RWBY-ing in this strange world of ours. First, some supplementary materials.

Number One: In response to any (valid) questions along the lines of, “Hey Clyde, it’s now been a full year since Volume 7 was airing and you still haven’t answered my ask about it. Or the ones about Volume 6… what’s up with that?” I’ve created what I hope is an informative video detailing the problem:

vimeo

(I assure you, the Earth, Wind & Fire was a happy accident during the screen recording.)

Needless to say, there’s a lot and I’ve known for some time now that I will LITERALLY never get through all my asks. Which doesn’t mean I don’t want you to send future thoughts in! Just know that as we head into Volume 8 territory I’ll most likely prioritize those, as well as any Volume 7 asks that aren’t woefully out of date. But I do want everyone to know that I read all the asks I receive, appreciate them immensely, and think too much about hypothetical answers, even if I don’t have time to actually write them out 💜

Number Two: There’s a bingo board this year!

Jury’s out on whether I’ll remember to update it, but at the very least this serves as a decent glimpse into my — and others’ — expectations going into this volume.

Number Three: I’ve collected a list of things I’ve heard about Volume 8 from what seem to be reputable sources. I did this because RT is developing a tendency to talk up certain points and then fail to deliver, either because something was taken out of a volume/moved to another, or because RT apparently has radically different ideas about what including something means. So this might be handy to keep on file and ask ourselves two months from now, “Did RT actually deliver on what they promised?”

Emphasis on Ruby’s leadership and how Summer’s death has impacted her

Insight into Ren and Nora’s flaws

May Merigold will supposedly have a larger part

More information about The Long Memory (Ozpin’s cane)

Theme of the volume is that you can respect someone but that doesn’t necessarily mean you agree with them

Very short timeline (supposedly just two days)

Yang in particular is very suspicious and distrustful

I was also going to include a list of all the threads that need to be continued/wrapped up, but honestly that would have taken too large a chunk off my life. Let’s just throw out the highlights:

Are we really going to have Qrow gunning for Ironwood?

Clover is dead regardless. Press ‘F’ to pay respects

Oscar bb you got shot please acknowledge this

Ozpin bb you got done dirty please acknowledge this

Penny is a Maiden now. I feel like the fandom has been sleeping on this (myself included)

Queer baiting, queer baiting… you’re on thin ice at this point, RWBY. Just skate on over to the queer snack bar before you fall straight into the lake.

Ren spill your deep dark secret already and it had better be something more than just ‘Oh no Nora might someday die :( ’

Salem is here so how the actual fuck is the cast surviving this?

Will Ironwood likewise survive his descent into antagonism? Yes or please yes no?

I think that’s all the biggies. I strive to keep lists like this in mind while analyzing, but honestly RWBY has a hundred moving parts that are abandoned or changed or simply retconned at the drop of a hat. So an attempt will be made.

Number Four (last one I promise!): Normal disclaimers and reminders for Recaps apply:

Please don’t fill up the already full inbox with flames. It’s still 2020. No one has time for that nonsense.

There will absolutely be typos and wonky parts because I try to get these out the same day an episode premieres. I have now been working on this for ten hours, nearly straight, and have no more energy for edits. Apologies in advance and RIP to my Saturdays.

I reserve the right to use stupid GIFs and memes at my discretion.

I strive to keep my focus on recapping/analyzing but salt tends to worm its way in… If you’re a die-hard RWBY fan with little patience for criticism, let alone (at times) snarky criticism, please proceed with caution.

No wait I lied, this is the last thing:

Okay, got that out of my system LET’S DO THIS!

We start not with the episode itself but rather Rooster Teeth’s (RT’s) strange non-promotion of it. If you follow my blog you may have caught the post where I pointed out that there was nothing on RT’s website to suggest that one of their most popular shows—if not the most popular show—was premiering today. Nothing on the main page. Nothing on the RWBY page either, not unless you count the Volume 8 poster background (easily mistaken for the Volume 7 poster) and the trailer buried all the way down past Episodes, past Merch, in the Bonus Features section along with videos like Live From Remnant and the volume intros. RT… the promotion of your feature show is not a bonus. This should be front and center! Honest to god, five minutes before the episode dropped I was checking the website for a Volume 8 section, a countdown, anything that would tell me the episode was imminent without relying on fans on tumblr to keep me in the loop. We got nada, zilch. I’m not sure whether that speaks more to RT’s iffy management of the series or simply the website’s horrible design—RIP losing RWBY on Youtube—but I was surprised when I saw the episode a few minutes after 11:00am. At that point I honestly expected to hear about a dely.

So that’s the mood I entered the premiere in, but truly? We start off strong. Things take a pretty severe nosedive later on, we’ll get to that, but I was impressed with our beginning and that probably has a lot to do with the fact that we start with our villains.

We open on a Cinderella character, Cinder, and thus I’m immediately pleased that we’re getting something about her backstory after all this time. Seven years! She appeared in episode one, folks! To say we’re overdue is an understatement. There isn’t a whole lot to go on, just a younger Cinder sadly scrubbing the floor, poised under a spotlight. What we learn, or potentially learn, is based far more in cultural knowledge than this scene. We know Cinderella’s story, which includes the abusive family, the longing for more, the eventual escape, and thus we’re able to read all of that in this image, despite the image itself not telling us any of this overtly. That means we could be wrong in our interpretation, but if we’re not it’s an easy shorthand in an already packed story.

What I’m really impressed with is the sound bridge between the scrubbing and her nails on the back of Neo’s chair. Fantastic way to confirm that this is Cinder as well as showcasing just how far she’s come. The sound of her labor has been replaced with the sound of her power and given that Cinder’s power is stolen, tied to a grimm arm, the property of a genocidal maniac… that’s messed up. It’s a Cinderella story gone wrong.

So yeah, Cinder tells Neo to head straight into the creepy, grimm infested blood cloud to see Salem and Neo is like, ‘Uh… no thank you?’ lol.

RT does a good job this episode with her expressions, ensuring we know exactly what she’s thinking despite an unwillingness/inability to speak.

Poor Neo might be in too deep, but I quite like the overall atmosphere of this opening. Say what we will about Salem’s awful characterization, at least she has style. This woman knows how to make an entrance and, piggybacking off of the Apathy, RT knows how to infuse horror elements into their fantasy. The red and purple coloring of the clouds, spiked whale teeth peeking through, bright orange in the background looking like explosions… that’s all 👌 Including the intro card.

The only thing I want to gripe about is this:

I’m sorry, why does the whale grimm have landing pads? Or something like it?? The whale otherwise works because it’s poised between the natural and the fantasy synthetic. It looks like a real grimm whale on the outside, but is sporting a throne room, a control panel, and other unnatural elements on the inside. It’s a visual indicator of Salem’s ability to control and change grimm. Now though, the additions are wrong, infringing on the line between organic and tech, the line between what helps the grimm individually (giving monkeys wings) and what just helps Salem. Every other aspect of the whale straddles that line wonderfully, adding to the creep factor, like a grimm version of the Uncanny Valley: it’s not quite a whale anymore… but landing pads? That looks ridiculous. Why does Salem even have that? How many ships are her people feasibly using? Why are there five?

Take it away, please.

Cinder waltzes in like this is a normal home visit, but Neo has an appropriate ‘What the actual fuck?’ face going on.

They approach Salem on her throne where Cinder immediately kneels, greeting her with, “My queen.” I mentioned during my trailer breakdown that I think Cinder is lying her ass off here, and I still think that based on a line we’ll get in a minute, but now at least we have a sense of how she can pull this off. A woman who started out as a (presumed) servant is going to know how to mimic subservience, even if her heart isn’t in it. Salem is very good at playing the girl who will still kneel and scrub the floor for you. She will scrub the floor, she’ll do everything you want, she’ll just be plotting her own rise to power while she does it.

There’s quite a bit of interesting cinematography in this episode, not all of it good, and I think one of the mistakes is here when we get a closeup on Salem’s mouth as she greets Cinder. A closeup like that should be reserved for more significant dialogue—“Rosebud”—and yet we get this shot again when Cinder tells Emerald to be quiet. It’s awkward and coupled with the numerous eye closeups we got in the trailer, I think RT is playing a little fast and loose with the camera. Each shot should add something to the scene, not distract from it. If you don’t have a reason for including a technique like that then leave it be.

Back to the actual dialogue though. We knew that Salem knew Cinder was alive and now it seems that she just expected her to come back? I’m slightly lost. It feels like we’re missing something here. Cinder goes off to secure the lamp, fails, nearly dies, wanders on her own for months, and then randomly shows back up on Salem’s whale doorstep, yet Salem isn’t angry at all? Did she have faith that Cinder would return when she has something to offer? Did she just not care about Cinder, considering her return an unnecessary but otherwise welcome surprise? That would make the least sense given that she holds the key to accessing Beacon’s relic… but that circles right back around to why Salem is seemingly indifferent to Cinder’s comings and goings. Surely she can’t actually believe that Cinder is loyal?

“So I trust you wouldn’t return to me empty handed,” she says. Yeah, trust means nothing in this show, Salem, didn’t you watch Volumes 6 and 7? Again, I simply don’t know. I suppose I’ll just chalk it up to confidence, that if Cinder did bail Salem knew she could track her down again. Deciphering her motivations and beliefs is a lost cause when the show continually gives us so little.

The important thing now is that Cinder does indeed have an offering and you can see that Salem is somewhat surprised at being handed the relic.

Cinder, of course, takes credit for the victory and we’re given another wonderful shot of Neo. ‘YOU took it?’

Oh, Neo. Best get out while you still can.

Tyrian appears having obviously made his way to Salem’s ship sometime between her arrival and now. The exchange is pretty standard for this group. He insults Cinder for failing and needing this victory to make amends, talks about how any win against Ironwood says more about his lack of intelligence than her skill, and Cinder… doesn’t have a whole lot of comebacks, actually. I’d say Tyrian won that verbal spar, enhanced by a better use of the camera when we get his tail looming menacingly towards Cinder and Neo.

He goes on to say that Watts was a “necessary sacrifice” so, uh… I’m just going to toss out the ask I answered yesterday. Based on our intro I’d say Watts is still significant to the volume—hacking Penny is my guess—but by the end? He could be in trouble.

(As a side note: I plan to analyze the intro next week. It’s just easier when it comes first.)

Tyrian also calls Neo “little one” which I just found absolutely hilarious. In an on brand creepy manner, that is. Not that Neo couldn’t kick his ass, but there’s something wonderfully chilling about having the serial killer use an endearment towards a potential victim, one that comments on her size while he’s looming.

In contrast, Cinder refers to Neo as a “valuable asset” and we get our third mood of the episode.

Who’s going to start a Neo reaction image collection?

It’s true enough on the surface—who wouldn’t want an ally who can turn into anyone else?—but we’re still bumping up against question of why Salem needs this. She’s immortal! She has an endless army! Magic! This scene works well with a villain who needs a skillset like Neo’s to succeed, but Salem doesn’t. RT is doing a great job writing a story thus far, just not the story we’ve previously been given. This isn’t the story they set up.

This will come back up when we reach the RWBYJNOR group. Just wait.

Before that though, the gang’s all here as Emerald, Mercury, and Hazel show up, all in new outfits.

I think I like everything except for the weird Xs on Emerald’s jacket—it’s way too distracting and frankly makes an otherwise good look ugly—and the fact that she’s showing her midriff in Atlas. Hazel doesn’t have any sleeves! Oh my god, why doesn’t anyone dress for the weather in this show?

Frankly, I found their reunion to be kind of lackluster. I mean, there was nothing wrong with it. Emerald does sound briefly excited, she does run, and it’s in character for Cinder to cut her off… it just didn’t resonate with me emotionally. I thought after two volumes of thinking she’s dead, then working through the knowledge that she’s alive, that I would feel Emerald’s shock and relief more, but I didn’t. And I’m not entirely sure why. I don’t want to level any accusations at the voice acting because frankly I know next to nothing about that skill (and from what I’ve seen it’s usually praised in the fandom), but I will say that throughout the premiere I was noticing it more than I ever have before. The lack of emotion here and some awkward deliveries later, like when Yang goes, “Ruby, there is no way Ironwood will cooperate with us” and I immediately thought, “Wow, that came out stilted.” These observations stick with me because, as said, voice acting usually isn’t on my radar. It’s not something I’ve studied or had practice analyzing. If you’d never told me that Ren or Qrow’s VA changed then after a year hiatus I literally wouldn’t notice… but there’s something about this episode that didn’t sit right. Anyone else get that sense, or was it just me?

Regardless, the arrival of our other three villains really doesn’t amount to much, though I’m happy for all the Emerald and Mercury fans who get to see them in new outfits. The focus is still on Cinder as she delivers a line indicative of her true motivations: “That power will be mine.” Yeah, she’s not loyal to Salem, she’s just power hungry. Of course, Salem immediately takes note of this and raises her hand, in another nice use of the foreground, reminding her that she hasn’t given that order.

Cinder is shocked, angry even, but quickly covers it up with her “Without you I am nothing” line. If I caught it right I think she also calls Salem “Ma’am”? Hilarious. Again, skilled at playing the servant.

Also, before I forget, it’s worth noting that almost everything from our trailer appeared in this episode. Yeah, there are a few details like Nora attacking some tech and the group on their bikes, but on the whole we’ve already seen the majority of our promo material and will likely get most of the rest next week. It makes me both interested and nervous for what another twelve episodes are going to hold.

Salem opens her whale, or opens a portal type view in it, something that gives us a long-distance look at Atlas. I don’t know what exactly is going on here, but it’s pretty so I’ll take it.

She also delivers the frankly badass line, “Just because you’re more valuable to me than a pawn does not make you a player.”

She waves them all away with perfect ‘You mean nothing to me’ attitude and we sadly leave our villains.

Sad not because I don’t love my farm boy, but because things are about to get a whole lot messier.

Oscar has made his way to a camp of civilian survivors… all of whom are just hanging out in the supposedly deadly cold. Yeah, there’s a single fire, but at least four of them aren’t anywhere near it. Three of them also aren’t wearing gloves. What was that survival rate again?

A nice if gruff dude gives Oscar soup—water?—while showing off his… badger claws? I don’t know what kind of faunus he’s supposed to be, but he feels like the sort of two second, minor character who could easily become a meme lol.

Oscar thanks him (my polite son!) and hands the bowl back after a single sip. Which is impressive because I would have assumed the guy was giving me the whole bowl and just taken it. Hell, I’ve done that even when I didn’t assume it’s all for me. A Starbucks barista once approached me with a tray and a plate of samples, I knew I was supposed to take just one, yet for some reason my hand went to take the whole goddamn plate. He had to tell me off, then I was trying to explain that I didn’t actually want or think I should have eight shots of cappuccino all to myself, I don’t even like coffee, he clearly didn’t believe me… it was awkward. So good job, Oscar. You’re less awkward than me (though that’s not saying much).

Now a question, Oscar. Darling. Brilliant boy who has been through too much: why the fuck aren’t you talking to Ozpin? This will be A Thing later when he presents a lack of time to talk as justification for keeping more secrets (we’ll get to that too…) yet here is time! You’re just sitting there for who knows how long, with plenty of privacy to hide a supposedly one-sided conversation so the Mantle citizens don’t get weirded out or suspicious. Talk to Ozpin. Our headmaster gets two lines in this episode, utterly inconsequential lines like his airship scene, lines that feel like they exist to say, “See? He’s still included in the story!” even though he absolutely is not. Two volumes of mostly silence, a perfect setup to start the reconciliation process, but we’re going to put it off again?

Instead Ruby randomly and conveniently appears. I want to know how she found him. Oscar isn’t wearing a tracker. He clearly didn’t call them because he’s surprised when Ruby shows up. He fell alllllllll the way back down to Mantle and then wandered to a random part of the slums. You’re telling me they flew over the entire city—after beginning this search thinking he was in Atlas—and somehow managed to spot him from up in the air? C’mon. I would have rather had a beginning where Oscar makes his way back to the group himself, giving him and Ozpin time to hash things out.

“Need a lift?” Ruby says, eliminating that potential. Sigh.

Oscar immediately starts beating himself up when he gets onboard, saying that he “was stupid to think the General would listen.” Nah, you were stupid to buy into Ruby’s nonsensical confidence and for telling Ironwood he’s as bad as Salem. Sorry, Oscar, but everyone is written badly these days. I will, however, say that I am THRILLED at the group’s reaction to his return. Ruby says that she’s “just glad you’re alright.” Nora has a wonderfully tender moment where she hugs him gently rather than her usual glomp.

That? That added a year to my life. Everyone else seems relieved that he’s okay too, so kudos there. After four years of Oscar being an outsider in the group, this is one of the few moments that feel like he’s 100% accepted. Really glad to see it.

Now let’s see if it sticks after they learn Ozpin is back...

They fly to the Happy Huntresses’ base and I again feel like I’ve missed something crucial. When did they team up? I mean, RWBYJNOR was working directly under Ironwood up until the last hour and Robyn ran off to fight Tyrian/Clover in the last couple episodes. When did she have time to explain her (briefly) changed allegiance and why would the Happy Huntresses trust the group without that? Did Robyn share that Blake and Yang went behind Ironwood’s back for her? Do the Huntresses instinctively trust them because they’re now wanted by the military? How did they even run into each other?

Again, I think we would have been better served to have an episode before all this. Let Oscar make his way back and let the group struggle with the magnitude of their situation on the airship, before they find new allies. Transferring directly to, “They have help and a secret base and a plan in the works!” makes me feel like I missed the real premiere last week. You know, the one where Salem unexpectedly arrived and we left the group like this.

This is where we’ve ended up though. The group is cozy in this hideout, getting info from Joanna, and my only other thought is, “Why is she giving all this exposition?”

Shouldn’t it be May? I mean, we were told that she was going to play more of a role this volume, a promise that’s pretty important imo given her status as a (so far off screen) trans character, so why not put her in the role of mediator between the Happy Huntresses and RWBYJNR? Giving her that setup as a leader among her people as well as lots of lines would be meaningful. A trans character just existing and being a part of this fight! May could obviously still fill that role—I’m well aware that we’re only one episode in—but it just seems like a missed opportunity to me. Out of all the undeveloped Happy Huntresses, our premiere focuses on the one who has the least importance to the fandom.

As said, Joanna talks a fair bit but what it basically boils down to is trying to get everyone to the crater below Atlas. It’s apparently not safe, but it’s warm, which is what matters right now.

So… let me get this straight. You want to gather everyone into a not safe crater, by leading them through an army of grimm, so that they can wait there in case someone moves the Staff, thus dropping an entire city on top of their heads? That’s the plan? Which admittedly isn’t Joanna’s fault. This is another instance of RWBYJNOR having information that a leader does not and they should really consider speaking up about it. But of course they don’t.

Also, how long does everyone have in regards to the cold? Shouldn’t there be dead civilians by now? The time it would take to find the Happy Huntresses, team up with them, get settled in the base, and find Oscar says that things should be pretty grim right now (pardon the pun), yet every non-aura user in this city seems content to just hang out in the snow. Either the cold is deadly enough to justify moving everyone to the crater, or it’s mild enough to let everyone survive this long, not both.

After hugs are given everyone obviously wants to know what happened to Oscar. His response?

“It’s a… long story. I get the feeling there’s been a few of those tonight.”

That’s a check for the bingo card! We’re halfway through the first episode and we’ve already got another secret. Yes, this is a secret. Oscar actively chooses not to tell anyone that Ozpin is back—something Ozpin himself comments on—and then skillfully draws attention away from himself with “I get the feeling there’s been a few of those tonight.” Indeed, all eyes go to Penny. Oscar’s plight is forgotten, which is what he wanted. His justification?

Ozpin: “You’re not going to tell them?”

Oscar: “You and I aren’t done talking yet.”

Along with this look.

Oscar no. There’s so much wrong with this I don’t even know where to begin. Let’s create a list.

As said, you had plenty of time to talk to Ozpin and chose not to. Miss me with this excuse.

You are now doing to your friends exactly what you and your friends did to Ironwood, which in turn is what Ozpin did to you! I can’t believe we’ve got Oscar critically side-eyeing him when they are still—still—repeating the behavior they drove Ozpin away for.

What is there to even talk about now? Oscar didn’t punch himself/Ozpin (lol) but he did steal Jinn’s name from Ozpin in the first place. You got what you wanted, drove him away, and have been lying and keeping secrets ever since. The only thing they should be talking about involves apologizing. Any further criticism—which is what Oscar’s expression and curt reply suggests—is beyond hypocritical.

Seriously, what needs to be discussed? There’s no reason not to tell the group unless Oscar wants to talk about whether they should tell them. There’s no good ending here...

Don’t you think it would be nice to know that Ozpin is back and you’ve got super magic powers while making plans to save the entire world?

This is all especially stupid given Oscar’s “Salem wants to divide us” reminder to Ruby in a moment. Oscar, you are doing the most to divide the group right now. By not forgiving Ozpin. By refusing to work with him. By keeping him secret from everyone else.

This is bad, friends, I worry for what the rest of the volume will bring…

The story is done with Ozpin for now so I guess I will be too. The group continues filling Oscar in and we get some shots of the base, including a rather prominent poster of what I assume are two Happy Huntresses. Did they die in battle perhaps?

It’s a little strange.

Oscar: “Where’s Qrow?”

Me: “Likely still making bad decisions.”

No one knows so they just drop it. Which I kind of get, only so much you can do to find him if he’s not out on the streets like Oscar, but it still reads as kind of iffy that two nieces look down at the ground for a hot second and then move on with their plans, content to leave Qrow to whatever fate befell him. In a minute we’ll see Yang firmly take Ren’s side regarding helping the people they can in Mantle, which frankly comes out of nowhere for her. I think an easy motivation would have been Qrow. Ruby wants to save the world, Yang wants to find and save their uncle, and that just happens to align with Ren’s desire to save the civilians who need immediate grimm and cold help. Don’t get me wrong, I like that there’s finally some division between the sisters, I just wish it hadn’t come about so abruptly. Ren had setup for standing up to Ruby. Yang did not.

But I’m getting a little ahead of myself. Joanna lists the grimm horde and no heat as the major threats to everyone. The group agrees.

Me: What about Salem?

Joanna says that this is all doubly dangerous because there’s “no more military protection.”

Me: Oh, so now you want the military?

This is all so disjointed. Even more-so when Joanna mentions that Ironwood has stopped all evacuations to Atlas, likely due to the “hard light shields” that are the only thing standing between Salem and the city. Thing is, the show never makes this connection, I just did it myself based on this scene and the one that comes later. The show presents Joanna’s line as a pure condemnation. Ironwood won’t let more evacuees in because… he’s just evil, I guess. Yet there is a justification here, namely that continuing the evacuations even while he’s stuck without Penny leaves him wide open to a Salem attack, the death of everyone currently safe, but that argument is never presented to the viewer. I don’t need people to agree with Ironwood’s perspective, I just wish that perspective was offered as an option. The show is very good about acting like RWBYJNOR’s opinion is the only justified opinion, or simply the only opinion at all.

After everything is laid out Weiss goes, “We’re never going to sleep again, I just know it.”

I could make a crack about the lack of continuity and how the group should be collapsing right now… but that was a funny line. It can stay.

What is far more of a problem is the fact that no one is talking about Salem. Okay, that’s a lie. They do talk about her, but in a roundabout way like her presence isn’t impacting every decision they make. That’s the real issue. They’re acting as if Salem isn’t here right now, like she’s off far away, maybe approaching slowly, and they’re arguing over how best to prep the world for her eventual attack. There’s no emotion here—let alone action—to reflect that the series’ Big Bad has arrived and is poised to murder them all. Literally what is this? Ruby is yelling about warning the world and, ignoring the continued question of why that’s a good thing when the world can do nothing to stop Salem and knowledge of her continually drives people to horrible acts, she has yet to acknowledge that… she’s the world? Ruby is the world in this conflict. She, Mantle, and Atlas. Salem is here for you all. Right now. You are, this instant, in the situation you want to warn others about, so why don’t you try to do something about it? Or at least acknowledge it. Ruby wants to warn the neighborhood about a potential fire while her house is actively ablaze, and the fire could have totally killed her by now but decided not to for… reasons.

“Ruby’s right,” Nora says. They have to tell the world so “they can prepare.” How? How are they supposed to prepare for this? The story cannot continue ignoring Salem’s immortality.

“Ruby’s right,” is all Blake says and I’m starting to thinks that’s why her character exists now, to agree with Ruby. It’s great that she’s getting a little distance from Yang, but man.

As Ruby asks whether Pietro can get Amity up and running despite it not being finished (called it) we start an incredibly odd sequence of flashforwards to their individual missions. I’ve seen a lot of praise for this already and though I agree that, in theory, it’s a good way to save time, I found the actual execution to be jarring. Upon thinking back through our timeline, it became clear they were flashforwards, but while watching I thought they might be flashbacks (especially since that’s more common).

Some of the shots, like Nora’s, just look awkward when you’ve got the exact expression and pose transplanted from one scene to another, like she’s a cardboard cutout behind a green screen. To say nothing of how the flashforwards ruin any suspense (I use that word loosely) in the conversation itself. If the question is, “Will they decide to go to the military compound?” then that question is answered when we see Ruby scoping out the compound, not when the group actually decides on the course of action.

It just made an already muddled scene worse for me, so I hope this trend doesn’t continue.

And of course, Amity can be used despite all the info last volume claiming that it wasn’t finished. Pietro suddenly acts like it is finished and the only thing standing in their way is Ironwood providing access. If that were the case, he would have used Amity weeks or days ago like he wanted to! When was it finished? Not after Watts commented on how incomplete it was. When did they get back the resources they needed from Robyn? It’s as ridiculous and retcon-y as I thought it would be.

Yang points out that Ironwood will never listen to them and Ruby counters that “he doesn’t have to.” They’ll just take the access from him. Because why wouldn’t they in a series where they’ve already stolen two airships? Stealing from the super evil military that Joanna wishes were helping them right now is just the group’s go-to plan nowadays.

Pietro isn’t sold on this plan though. He lists at least three obstacles they’d need to get through “and then… oh boy, I might need to think about this some more.” “And just to clarify,” Oscar says, “This is the easy option?” Um...no it’s not? We also know there’s an access point in Ironwood’s office so… why not go there instead? They really think the Academy is less guarded than the military base? There’s a potential justification here along the lines of, “After Neo and Cinder broke into his office Ironwood will have the place on high alert,” but unless I missed it the group doesn’t assume anything like that. They just listen to Pietro point out all the ways they can’t get into the military base and jump straight to that being the best option. It feels like a transparent way to create conflict for the group. We’ll just have them taking the most dangerous route despite an easy route being offered alongside it. Why bother mentioning his office at all? Just have the access in the military base. Boom, done.

It’s that conflict and the fact that Ruby tends to hear “You can’t” and digs in her heels. You can’t go to Atlas. I’ll just steal a ship then. You can’t defeat Salem. Watch me. You can’t break into this base. Guess what I’m doing! She’s dangerous in her fairy tale, meta-driven insistence that everything will turn out her way because she wants it to.

Speaking of, we finally—FINALLY—get someone challenging Ruby. Sort of. Not actually but it’s the closest we’ve ever gotten:

Yang: “Ruby, when we came here we said we’d follow your lead… but things haven’t exactly worked out.”

Now, there are two things to take away from this moment. The first is how utterly shocked Ruby and the others are. I mean, take a look at these expressions.

Ruby straight up can’t believe what she’s hearing. Weiss put her hand to her mouth like this is the most dramatic thing to ever happen to her. Oscar looks down in a ‘Yeah, I agree but please don’t look at me and make me admit that’ way. And Nora looks indifferent in the screenshot but animated she goes sort of stern, likely pissed that Yang would dare say that given her own agreement with Ruby. This not only reiterates that Yang’s challenge came out of nowhere—seriously, how did we move from following Ruby no matter what to this? Last volume she asked a single question along the lines of, ‘You sure?’ and when Ruby said ‘Yes’ Yang was entirely on board—but also demonstrates that no one has EVER said no to her before. Ruby is amazed that someone would challenge her. The act of challenging Ruby is, in and of itself, shocking. This group has gotten so used to following Ruby blindly that the teensiest little pushback is greeted with this.

Because it is teensy. This is the second takeaway: Yang barely challenges her and that challenge leads nowhere. She doesn’t accuse Ruby of anything, she doesn’t question her continued authority, she just broadly implies that things could be better. We followed you, now things are bad, take from that what you will. It’s incredibly mild as far as criticism goes, making the shock all the more, well, shocking, but it also amounts to—wait for it—nothing! Because Yang didn’t truly challenge Ruby’s leadership. She’s still in charge, she’s still calling the shots, and they’re still listening to her. We might have gotten some change if this division had been allowed to play out, but instead Jaune comes in with a, “Let’s go for both!” solution. It let’s both groups get what they want which, in turn, releases them from the need to grapple with whether they’ll listen to Ruby when she’s advocating for something they don’t agree with. We have now lost the chance to see whether, when push comes to shove, Ren and Yang will cave to Ruby’s will or stick by their own beliefs.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s more conflict than we’ve gotten in years, but that doesn’t mean it’s particularly compelling conflict. It’s good by RWBY’s standards, which doesn’t necessarily make it good. The actual issues at hand—Ruby’s dangerous arrogance, the group’s loyalty, her choices up until now—are just swept under the rug. For all the visuals we get insisting that there’s this great divide in the group… there’s really not. Not in any way that matters.

Also, Ruby is an idiot. Okay, that was mean, but she really is in this scene. She’s actually not an idiot overall because she was written as wonderfully intelligent in the early volumes, but now? Lately? She makes me want to bang my head against a wall.

“But that’s how Salem got this far,” she cries. “By dividing us!”

Ruby… oh my god, Ruby. No one should have to explain to you that dividing people means turning them against each other, not literally dividing your team to complete separate tasks. This girl honestly thought that because there was this teensy disagreement and that half the team would complete Plan A while she and the other half completed Plan B, both of which notably work towards the goal of, “Protect people from Salem,” that this was somehow what Salem wanted. That is was dangerous. Honestly, it’s a scary look at her view of leadership too: If everyone doesn’t 100% agree with me and do what I say, that’s an objectively bad thing that the grimm queen wants, right? Does Ruby think that unification means following a single person (her) without question or variation? That would explain a lot...

The fact that Oscar needs to explain the difference to her is not good. It really doesn’t say great things about this version of Ruby. Though he was comparing Ironwood to Salem last volume, so really they should all be wearing dunce hats.

Penny offers to take the relic directly to Salem in exchange for her leaving the kingdom alone. I honestly didn’t expect that. If anyone took that risk I would have put my money on Ozpin (but of course, during all this talk of the women he knows best, he’s kept quiet). Oscar is again the voice of wisdom, pointing out that they have no reassurance that Salem will keep her word. At least Penny is thinking about Salem as a threat though, so kudos for that. When this plan is shot down she volunteers to get Ruby past the military security instead and, uh, she’s a little intense about it.

I’m not entirely sure what is going on with Penny. She disagreed with Winter but then seemed to come around to her point of view, enough to help anyway. They had another (stupid) disagreement about the value of individual lives, so that helps to explain why she’s teaming up with RWBYJNOR (if you ignore that Ironwood is also trying to save individual lives...). Did watching Fria die shake her up? Is it being the Winter Maiden that’s not sitting right? Does Penny have lingering feelings about the framing that haven’t shown up until now? Her status as a ‘real girl’? We’ve got a lot of reasons that could definitely explain this sudden need to fight, but we’re not told which—if any of these—is the driving force.

We’re then given a lot of little details. Someone points out that if Salem gets the staff and “create[s] anything else” then Atlas will fall (so yeah, let’s move the people underneath it). We still don’t know what exactly the Staff does because “creation” is kind of broad and “powering a city to float” doesn’t seem to sit within that category at all. Pietro gives Yang the keys to his lab so they can get the bikes. We see the group dividing in the flashforwards, something I do like, especially since the show has gone out of its way to break up most of the usual duos. Nora in particular is pissed at Ren for his choice.

“Oh, I’m saving Mantle because I actually believe we can do this.”

#yikes. Well, I did say I wanted a conflict other than ‘Oh no, one of us might die’ and it looks like I got it. But Nora, the only reason you can do this is because the plot is in your corner: none of you are collapsing from two major fights, you didn’t lose your aura so the cold isn’t a danger, the military is barely a threat all of a sudden, Salem is helpfully hanging out in her whale instead of killing you, and the story decided that Amity can function so long as you all are the ones who get to use it. That’s why you can do this. Ren, who follows in-world logic and doesn’t want to risk a whole kingdom’s worth of lives on a pipe dream, thinks differently, oddly enough.

As they leave though Penny gets a call from Ironwood. I know precisely what the fandom is going to say here: “This evil man is just trying to use Penny to open the vault!” Of course he is. He needs it open to save everyone he can, Penny included. Plus the concept of “using” her is a double-edged sword. What do we think the group is doing right now? Using her to get past the security. Penny’s power is a tool any way you slice it. Granted, Penny volunteers to help the group, but notably here Ruby speaks for her. Penny seems torn and Ruby takes the scroll away with, “She’s not going anywhere until you change your mind about Mantle.”

Sorry, Ruby, but coming from you that sounds less like a reassurance for Penny and more like just an order for Ironwood. Remember Harriet? We’ll stop attacking you provided you do what we want. Ruby has yet to learn about compromises, let alone acknowledge that she might be wrong. How about you let Penny decide where she goes, especially since by all logic she should have a lot of loyalty to Ironwood. She knew him before she ever met you. She’s worked with him since she was rebuild post-Volume 3. Despite what Penny has said, if the story would just let her think about his actions for a hot second—making her the protector of Mantle, sticking up for her after the framing, sending her to the party, teaming her up with Ruby, etc.—she might realize that the ‘He doesn’t want me to have friends’ and ‘He just treats me like a tool’ assumptions are just that, unfounded assumptions. But no, Ruby speaks for them both because Ironwood is evil now.

“If she makes it through our defenses,” Ironwood says, “everything that follows will be on your hands.”

That’s true! Kind of like how it’s own Qrow’s hands that Clover died. When you insist on making a bad situation worse you hold responsibility when the shit hits the fan. You know though that Salem won’t get through their defenses now, somehow, so that there’s no chance RWBYJNOR will be blamed for it. Or, by that point Ironwood will be so crazed that anything coming out of his mouth is dismissed, no matter how accurate it might be.

We then transfer to the Ace Ops who are, despite what the fandom theorized for many months, clearly upset about Clover. Also pissed. Which they have every right to be. Their friend and leader was killed. Imagine for a moment that Ruby had been murdered by Tyrian with an allies’ help. Exactly what do you think the group would do? Swallow it quietly and get over it? Ha.

I’ve already seen some speculation that Clover survived due to details like showing us the bandage and his room being listed as for a “Patient,” but he looks pretty dead to me.

He got gutted through the chest and left out in the snow for who knows how long. We saw him slip away. Qrow screamed over his dead body. He’s not breathing now. If RWBY suddenly claims he survived this, I’m calling BS.

Most of the other visuals we get here were already dropped in the trailer. Winter is pretty injured from her encounter with Cinder, likely permanently based on her new outfit. Ironwood had to replace his arm—and I am calling BS on that “Losing his arm is reflective of him losing his humanity” commentary from RT. Please go read up on a couple decades worth of ableism in media and then get back to me.

We get Ironwood’s line about the light shields and, notably, a whole lot of empathy. Regardless of what he might want Penny for, he still called her with compassion. He’s watching the Ace Ops mourn their friend. He’s talking about protecting his kingdom. The first thing he says to Winter is, “Thank you, Winter. I don’t know what I would do without you.” Ironwood has a heart! It’s always on display, which makes this scene utterly ridiculous.

I literally don’t know how to respond to this. The gunshot made me jump, both because it’s a gunshot and because, again, what the fuck? I know I said that next volume RT might just have Ironwood descend into full villainy, shooting whoever he pleases now that he’s shot Oscar, but I didn’t actually expect them to do it. Because he never should have shot Oscar in the first place! I wanted the story to let Oscar grapple with it a bit and then quietly backtrack, acknowledging it as the mistake it was. The concept that Ironwood, empathetic Ironwood, rational Ironwood, always thinks before he acts Ironwood, let’s kids yell at him Ironwood, tried to team up with Robyn Ironwood, did everything Ruby wanted Ironwood, won’t kill Watts after he destroyed his arm Ironwood would shoot this guy just to shut him up is absurd. It was absurd then, it’s absurd now.

That being said, there’s a possibility he didn’t actually shoot the council member, but rather just (“just”) gave a warning shot down the hallway. I say this because the reactions to this are pretty tame. Everyone looks startled, yeah, but after the initial shot there’s nothing that I would expect if there was now a guy bleeding out on the floor. The council woman doesn’t scream. Winter doesn’t seem overly shocked. No one is running to try and help him. Basically, if Ironwood had just killed a political figure in front of six witnesses, entirely unprovoked, I would expect a bit more of a reaction than this. This feels far more like a, “Damn he’s not joking around, letting off warning shots to get people to leave him alone” not “WOW, our general just killed someone in cold blood!”

What I really hate though—beyond just assassinating his character—is how many fans think my friends and I are delusional for calling it character assassination at all. I hopped onto the RWBY tag for five minutes this morning and was bombarded with posts about how Ironwood needs to be murdered horrifically, anyone who likes him is sick, the Ironwood stans are as bad as Adam stans, you’re an idiot if you want him redeemed… because apparently the concept of a story writing a character badly doesn’t compute. I’m not here to argue that Ironwood didn’t do these awful things (regardless of whether he actually killed the guy or not). I’m not here to argue that they’re not awful. I’m just here to say that we never should have gotten these scenes in the first place, or if we were going to get them, we deserved an actual descent into murder at the drop of a hat territory. I’ve already explained extensively on this blog how early Ironwood was not accurate foreshadowing for this, and Volume 7 certainly wasn’t setup, but it looks like the majority of fans aren’t interested in examining whether any of this adds up. Which makes my job, as someone trying to examine this series somewhat objectively—in as much as that’s possible for any single viewer—as well as simply enjoy it as a show, really hard. It’s bad enough when a story keeps taking the characters you love and villainizing them, and doing that badly, but then when you turn to the community and see them rallying around the idea that you’re awful for being dissatisfied—you’re the bootlicker, you’re the blind stan, you can’t see what’s ‘really’ going on here… that sucks. For those of you happy and satisfied with Ironwood’s arc, that’s great! I’ve also seen a lot of posts hyping up the complexity of his character now. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying what we’ve been given and I’d never want to imply that just because it’s not what I wanted it’s somehow wrong. I’m honestly thrilled that after a year of worry so many people have adored our premiere, including this scene. I just wish that I could say RWBY had given me something I didn’t want in a persuasive manner and that the fandom as a whole was a bit more welcoming of differing criticisms.

Not that I didn’t already know the RWBY fandom had its flaws, but still lol.

That’s basically it for our premiere. Nice note to end on, huh? Our final scene is of Salem using the lamp to set her bloodhound grimm on the city. Why doesn’t she just go herself? What was she planning to do here in Atlas in the first place, considering that getting the relic was a surprise? Who knows. Little about this holds together. But we do end with another awesome shot, so small favors.

It’s always strange concluding a recap, but even more-so when it’s a premiere, during a historical moment in the U.S., amidst all the nonsense that is 2020. So for now I’ll just conclude with three quick things:

The updated bingo board will be listed at the end of each recap, provided I don’t forget about it lol. Today I’m checking off tone (not nearly enough freaking out about Salem), the team keeping secrets (Oscar), and major plot point dropped (Amity is suddenly finished). I could also probably check off the cold not killing civilians and getting Amity up and running, but we’ll see if any changes with those.

I’m including my Ko-Fi link at the end of recaps now. Not with any expectations. Not with anything resembling pressure. I thought long and hard over whether to include it at all—let alone mention it here—because I love doing these and never want anyone to feel like it comes with strings attached. But life is a little harder and weirder than it was last year, so I figure it can’t hurt. Feel free to pass on by and I won’t be bringing it up past this note.

Far more importantly: thank you for reading! :D

(Bonus 4. Editing this was an absolute nightmare — damn you, tumblr! — so I apologize if anything is super wonky when I finally post.)

See you next week! 💜

[Ko-Fi]

#rwby #rwby spoilers #rwby volume 8 #mymetas #rwby recaps

106 notes · View notes

that-otome-potato · 3 years ago

Text

Choices

- Pairing: MC x Sotetsu / MC x Kongou

- Rating: NSFW for explicit sexual content, language, and TW: abuse, blood, gun violence

- Requested by: @lancermylove

- Request: Your choice: Koku, Kei, Kong, and/or So. (CM = cast member)(sfw version) A few years back, s/o and CM1 were dating, but she left him suddenly and in a bad way. Unbeknownst to him, she broke up with him to protect him (dets up to you). In the present time, s/o is dating CM2 but she still feel guilty about CM1. By chance she meets CM1, & he's still angry at her because he never stopped loving her. Which guy will s/o choose? Will the people who were trying to hurt CM1 return or will they target CM2.

- A/N: I hope this is what you had in mind! I used a couple different flowers that a couple places said meant danger, beware, and infatuation - it’ll make sense later haha. If I got it wrong, please let me know!

-A/N 2: There will be two endings for you to choose between at the end.

Under the cut to save space ^_^;

“Sotetsuuuu! I’m home! Are you ready yet? It’s almost time to go to Starless!” I listened as I took my shoes off at the door and put my bag on the kitchen table, hearing the sound of the shower running from our bathroom.

When I entered the bedroom, I paused at the sight of a fresh-from-the-shower Sotetsu, dripping with water and good looks, standing there with one towel tied loosely around his waist and one covering his head. Even after being together as friends during two years of university, then lovers for three of the last four, he still made my heart race and take my breath away to this day.

All of the moisture left my mouth and moved down to the juncture between my legs at the sight before me. Sotetsu just stood there in all his swarthy glory, his hands on his hips, watching me lick my lips while my gaze trailed after a droplet of water that traveled from his temple, along his chiseled jaw, down his pectoral muscles and trailing down his right side to slide down his iliac crest and past the edge of his towel. Which did little to hide how much he was enjoying my heated gaze. The only thought in my head was that I wanted to lick up that droplet with my tongue before it disappeared.

Sotetsu slowly brought his hands from around his hips to the front of his towel and slowly started to unwrap it from his hips and I could feel my heart rate increase further and further, right along with my breathing. By the time he dropped his towel to the floor, standing proud and tall in the buff, I felt my feet moving me towards him and he was cupping my jaw to tilt my head up towards him. My hands landed on his scalding flesh before he slanted his lips over my own and started devouring them, nipping and biting as if a starved beast.

His hungry kisses set kindling to the flame that had been given birth inside me the moment I walked into the bedroom, and a moan escaped as my arousal roared further to life the longer they lasted. Then he was thrusting his tongue past my lips and teeth to toy and tease my own and I felt my knees grow weak. Sotetsu noticed and wrapped an arm around my waist as he guided us backwards until the back of my knees came up against the large, sturdy bed.

Sotetsu took over completely once my back met the fluffy covers, and soon enough, my pants and panties were both strewn across the floor behind him, and his fingers were inside me, riding me deep, preparing me for his hardened girth.

“So...So, we don’t have much time. We’re going to be late.” I try to say when he released my lips to hear my moans and cries of arousal as he continued to play with me below while moving to nibble my earlobe and jaw, neck and collarbone.

The only response I got from him was a deep, vibrating chuckle, before we both got lost in our passions for the other.

We were very, very late.

~*~

Several days later, as I was walking up the stairs to the carpeted lobby of Starless, I noticed a man standing at the door and looking into the space, using his hands as shade against the mid day light. When he saw me standing there, he stared waving at me in a friendly manner.

Cautiously, I walked close enough for me to hear what he wanted to say, seeing a flower company's name on the left breast of his red polo shirt.

“Good afternoon miss! I have a floral delivery for __________ at this address. Would you be able to help me?”

Hearing my name was a surprise. Who could they be from? Sotetsu never sent me bouquets. However, as of late, he’d been surprising me here and there with little things like a bracelet, a flower, some sugary sweets. Small, intimate, sweet. All in private, but all the more special for the fact that they were from him.

“That's me.”

The younger man’s face lit up and he hurried back to the back of his delivery van that was the same shade of red and had the same logo as on his shirt, to bring out a small, but beautiful bouquet of orange lilies and a flower I didn't recognize. When he was right at the door, I unlocked it and took the bouquet from him and bowed in thanks before closing the door again, looking around for a card.

While walking back towards the office, I passed Sotetsu as he was talking with Kokuyou while walking to the stage. I paused him with a grip to his forearm and kissed his cheek, thanking him for the beautiful bouquet then continuing to the office.

I didn’t see the look of confusion and concern on his face as he watched me walk into the office and close the door.

Inside, I set the vase on the top of the desk and pulled out the card.

What I read made my smile disappear as if it had never existed and almost drop the card in fear. I quickly looked up what the main flowers in the bouquet meant and what I discovered caused my hands to shake and I backed away from the computer. Danger, beware, infatuation. I looked back at the card again and felt the color drain from my face. The name signed at the bottom was a ghost from my past that I would have preferred to stay there. Instantly, I thought I was about to lose whatever was in my stomach right there on the desk as memories of the nearly two years with the abusive man flooded my head.

Hand over my mouth to keep things where they belonged, I looked at the card again and read: ‘You’ve had your fun, my dear. But it’s time to come back to me like the good little girl you are.’

I stared at the card without really seeing it, seeing that man, feeling his hand cracking across my cheek when I attempted to go see an upset friend, or when he caught me talking to Sotetsu while I was dating him. That had earned me a black eye, a broken nose and an unhealthy amount of fear of him.

Shaking my head, I frowned down at the piece of paper in my hand. No! That had been years ago now. I couldn’t let my past haunt and control me when I had a bright and loving future ahead of me. Besides, he couldn’t possibly be serious about threatening me to get me back? As if that would actually work on me now after spending so much time around the various members of Starless and having Sotetsu as a partner.

I ripped up the card with satisfaction and tossed it in the waste basket before taking and placing the undeniably beautiful, yet upsetting, bouquet on a table in the lobby to brighten up the area. Completely forgotten about shortly after.

~*~

Over the following week, two more bouquets with the same threatening theme, arrived for me. I narrowly avoided Sotetsu noticing the second one, but when the third one came, he was standing with me.

“Secret admirer?”

My head swiveled towards him, hoping not to see any upset or anger as the same delivery man left and the van drove off. No, I wouldn’t see that with him. Sotetsu wasn’t him. He knew I was devoted to him and him alone, but surely the bouquets were becoming suspicious.

“Something like that. More like an irritation if I’m completely honest.” I say as I start to walk over to an open spot in the lobby to place the small bouquet of flowers on near the other two.

I’m not sure why, but when I pause to look out the front doors, I noticed that the delivery van had moved and I saw him standing against a car across the street. When I realized that it wasn’t a bad memory manifesting, that he was actually there, I felt the vase slip from my hands and shatter on the floor. It sent shards of glass and flowers all over the place at my feet. But I didn’t move to clean it up immediately like I normally would. I couldn’t. Despite my insistance that I was stronger than the woman who had dated that man, fear rooted me to where I stood as I stared at him and our eyes met across the road and through the glass doors.

When I managed to tear my gaze from his hatred-filled gaze, I noticed someone was shaking me. I faced front to see a concerned Sotetsu looking down at me with his large hands on both of my upper arms. A few seconds after focusing on him again, Sotetsu picked me up bridal style and walked me to the office where the first aid kit was to treat the small cuts on my legs from the shattered glass.

“Who was that?”

“Someone I had hoped never to see again.”

~*~

After that, I clung to Sotetsu at every opportunity, not only to protect myself, but to make sure nothing happened to him. I didn’t know what that guy was fully capable of and I didn’t want him to run into Sotetsu and cause him harm. I loved him too much. At times, I worried that my increased clinginess and affection might annoy Sotetsu, but he seemed to enjoy basking in it, hearing no complaints about it the next day or the next after that.

Just as I was starting to think my ex had given up, I received another note. This time it threatened Sotetsu and I, warning me that I really should take him seriously. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to worry Sotetsu, or get him involved more than he already was with my crazy ex because of my fears. I’d thought about asking some of the others, but I refrained. ‘I’ll just have to keep an even closer eye on him.’

The next day, Sotetsu and I were walking around a park nearby, holding hands and just enjoying the day. Or rather, Sotetsu was. I was constantly scanning the area around me, watching nervously for anyone suspicious.

“You should relax. It’s our day off.”

I squeezed his hand tighter. “I know, I'm sorry. But after the last card he sent, I’m worried. I don’t want anything happening to you because of me.”

“You don’t have to worry about that. Everything will be fine.”

“The optimism in your voice is so satisfying, because I’m going to change that depending on __________’s reply.”

I felt myself freeze at the sound of my ex’s low voice, laced with anger and hatred, and turned from looking at Sotetsu, to looking at him. Though it was a warm spring day, he was wearing a jacket with both of his hands in the pockets, looking at us with a smug grin. When I opened my mouth to reply, I noticed his dark eyes had taken on a crazed glint, so I knew I had to choose my words carefully.

“Why now? It’s been years since I left.”

“I’ve always missed you, __________. You were born to be with me, not this muscle-bound ignoramus you cling to so tightly. Have you forgotten how good I was to you? It’s time to come back, I’ve let you play long enough.”

“Hey asshole, she isn’t your possession or play thing. She is her own person and you’ve done enough.”

The man before us didn’t even look at Sotetsu, looking at me with a soft smile usually saved for those who cared about each other. “You deserve to be with someone more stimulating than this jock. Never thought you would be interested in someone who takes steroids or other such drugs.”

That pissed me off enough to forget my fear for a moment, and I moved around to stand before Sotetsu protectively. “There is no way in hell I’m going to let you bad mouth him right in front of me. You want to talk stimulation? He is more stimulating to me in all ways than you ever were. The only reason I stayed with you as long as I did was because I was scared of you! I regretted breaking up with So the entire time I was with you and meeting with him the day you gave me the black eye was the best thing that had happened to me in a long time. I’ve grown into a stronger woman because of him and the people here - you have no power over me anymore. Now, leave before I really make a scene.”

When he didn’t immediately leave, appearing to still be in shock at my admission and outburst, I turned and grabbed Sotetsu’s hand before walking past him in the direction we had originally been heading.

“Wrong answer, __________.” He whispered as we passed by, not stopping to even give him the time of day. He didn’t like that and growled under his breath. “__________!”

We were several feet away when we heard the audible sound of a heavy click and turned.

Everything after that happened in slow-mo.

In what felt like eternity, but couldn’t have been more than the space of a blinking eye, there was a loud bang and I watched with utter horror as the gun was fired in our direction. My horror only growing when Sotetsu let go of my hand to face our enemy, blocking me entirely. I could feel a scream building up in my throat, wanting to be released when Sotetsu flinched back on his left side, his right hand moving up slowly to cover his shoulder.

The scream was released, blood-curdling in its birth, and suddenly everything was moving at normal pace.

“SOTETSU!”

I moved around his body to face him, seeing him clutching the front of his shoulder, his dark red blood seeping from between his fingers at an alarming rate. I ripped off the bottom of my shirt to place under his hand to press against his wound, my focus completely on him and getting his bleeding to stop. I didn’t hear the shooter - because that’s what he was now - come up behind me. Not until Sotetsu tensed and frowned, looking over my shoulder.

“I told you, __________. I told you to come back to me. You should have listened. If your boy-toy dies, it’ll be your fault.” His voice sent a chill up my spine while I continued applying pressure to Sotetsu's wound.

“Don’t listen to that asshole, __________. You know I’m not going anywhere.” This just causes the other man to laugh with a slightly hysterical sound. “He’s just trying to get in your head. You don’t need that shit.”

I knew he was right. I knew I had friends who supported me and a boyfriend who loved me.

But my fear of something happening to Sotetsu, or anyone at Starless, had already burrowed endlessly deep, despite my attempt at bringing forth my bravery, echoing as if I was stuck inside a dark, murky cave. ‘Your fault! Your fault! Your fault!’

With only a moment to react, kicking the other man completely from my thoughts, I felt Sotetsu clasp my shoulder with his bloody right hand before he collapsed to the grass below. To keep him from further injury, I fell with him.

“So!” His name fell from my lips loud and ragged as I cushioned his fall the best I could. In the plush grass beneath us, I gently tapped the side of his face with palm of my free hand in an attempt to keep him awake and focus his attention on me. “So! Sotetsu! Come on, baby. Stay awake for me.”

His orange gold eyes opened blearily as he looked up at me, his beautiful eyes clouded with pain even as he gave me one of his charming smiles. “You worry too much. I told you I’m not going anywhere.”

I felt hot tears welling up in my eyes as I brought my hand, that was against his cheek, up to push his dark hair out of his eyes, his much larger, bloody hand coming up to cup my cheek coolly for a moment before it fell to his side and his eyes closed.

Even when I noticed he was breathing after laying him in the grass and applying pressure to the wound with a large chunk I tore off of his shirt when the piece I used before had become sodden, the fear lingered, pooling in my chest and making my heart clench.

Even while calling for an ambulance, the fear remained. ‘His injury is my fault’ my brain supplied as the ambulance arrived and the emergency professionals began treating Sotetsu before placing his large frame on a gurney, his eyes staying closed during the whole time.

Even at the hospital, once the doctors had cleaned him up and sutured his wound after pulling the .9mm out of his clavicle, the fear remained. They told me he would need to spend a couple days in the hospital because of the amount of blood he lost from the bullet grazing an artery, but that he was expected to make a full recovery. Despite that wonderful news, fear for him refused to leave.

‘What am I going to do? I don’t want to leave Sotetsu, but I don’t want to risk that maniac coming back to finish off what he started.’ I thought to myself as I sat in Sotetsu’s room against the window, watching his even breathing. All I could do was stare at my blood-covered hands in my lap. ‘I don’t want him to get himself involved, because that might just make it worse. I just need to give him a reason not to want to get involved.’

I gave it some thought as I sat there in his hospital room staring at my still bloody hands - I had to sear the image into my brain to remind me of why he was here. I took solace in the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor attached to his chest creating a soothing beat of life. However, the only conclusion I came to was to leave Sotetsu. To make him want to hate me, forget about me. ‘That would keep him safe.’

My heart cried out at what my brain was deciding on, the battle inside me tearing me apart bit by bit as I clenched my hands into fists to withstand the pain for what I thought needed to be done.

Before I could change my mind, pushing past the screaming for me to not do this, I took a piece of scrap paper that lay nearby and scribbled a short note to Sotetsu before gathering all of my things, placing one last, lingering, kiss on his forehead as he slept, and slipped out of his room without a sound.

I paused at the door and looked back at him one more time at the sound of him murmuring my name as he slumbered. I rushed out at the sound, fearing someone would see the tears in my eyes as I fled.

~*~

Hours later...

Sotetsu’s consciousness came back slowly and the scenery around him came into focus bit by bit.

‘This isn’t the park.’ When he looked around, he saw all of Team K sitting nearby, chatting in low tones. Yoshino is the first to notice he was awake.

“Sotetsu! You’re awake!”

All at once, three other sets of eyes turn towards him, all of them looking relieved, but he also thought he saw upset in two of them as well.

“What happened?” He looked to his leader for answers.

Kei leaned forward, his bright blue eyes flashing. “A few hours ago, you were attacked by a man claiming to be __________’s ex. He shot you and the bullet nicked your subclavian artery.”

He remembered being shot, the look of fear in __________’s eyes, the tears - he’d never forget it. He shook his head. “Where is __________? Is she ok?” ‘Why wasn’t she here?’

This caused Yoshino, Ginsei and Kei to all look at me at the same time, sympathy taking over them. Poor Gui just kept examining the hospital room listlessly.

“What? What happened?”

Kei stood up and walked over to where Sotetsu lay, holding out a folded piece of paper to him. “This was on the night stand next to your bed when we came in to check on you.”

Sotetsu took the small piece of paper. It had his name in what he recognized as __________’s handwriting on the outside, the same handwriting inside scrolling across the paper, its content growing steadily worse:

‘My sweet Sotetsu,

‘I know it probably doesn’t mean much, but thank you for protecting me today. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there when you woke up, I hope you can forgive me.

‘I’ve done some thinking as I sat near you in this room. Knowing you, you’ve probably already figured out what I’m about to say.

‘Sotetsu, I love you more than life itself. I always have and always will. Of course, you already know this. But after what happened to you today, I realized that if he came back, I wouldn’t be able to protect you just like I couldn’t today. So I am going to do what I need to in order to keep you safe from him.

‘I’m sorry, but I’m leaving. Starless will keep you safe. Your team will be there for you where I could not.

‘I love you, Sotetsu. Please don’t look for me - I can’t very well keep you safe if you find me.’

‘Forever yours, __________’

Sotetsu just stared at the paper in shock for a moment before crumpling it in his hand. He felt anger, betrayal. Sadness. She was breaking up with him? Through a fucking note? Who did that?? After everything he’d done for her, taking that bullet to protect her from that crazy. Didn’t she trust him? He deserved better than that.

“Sotetsu, are you ok?”

His angered gaze was drawn from the crumpled note in his hand to Gui, who had asked after him. After a moment, he looked back down and sighed. He wanted to rant, to rage. She left him because she didn’t think she could protect him. She was a strong woman, but he was bigger and stronger. He was a protector.

Sotetsu looked at Kei. “Did she go to Starless before leaving?”

Kei nodded. “That’s how we found out. She told us you’d gotten attacked and that you were in the hospital. We offered to bring her back with us to save money on a cab, but she said she had to do something at the shop first. We tried calling her once we got here, but she didn’t answer anyone’s call.”

“She texted me. Told me to stop trying to call her. She left Starless.” Ginsei added somewhat sheepishly.

“For the day?” Ginsei shook his head at Sotetsu’s question.

“Ginsei, why didn’t you say anything?” Kei chastised him. Ginsei responded, but Sotetsu had turned his attention internally, thinking about everything he had learned since waking up.

She doesn’t want to be found by him or anyone at Starless. ‘I wouldn’t be able to protect you... I can’t very well keep you safe...’

She left Starless for him, for them. He thought back to the times he’d been working some lead outside of Starless on some information he needed and had taught her a few tricks of the trade so she could disappear if she was ever in danger.

__________ felt like he was in danger, so she was using the skills she’d learned from him against him. Well, joke was on her because he knew what she was doing and would be finding her by tomorrow at least. He'd bet on it.

~*~

One year later...

“I don’t know, Kongou.” I looked at the employee entrance with uncertainty. It had been just over a year since the last time I’d come within one hundred yards of this building and I was worried about how they would respond to my sudden return. Kongou had assured me everyone had forgiven me and was looking forward to my return, but anxiety kept me from feeling joy at the thought. Particularly since I knew that Sotetsu was still working here.

‘Sotetsu...’ Could I even look Sotetsu in the eye after how I ended things with him? I did it with the best of intentions because I knew he would try to convince me otherwise and I couldn’t risk something happening to him again. Since then, I had recognized my error. I should have talked to him about it before taking the situation into my own hands. After coming to that realization, I could have, should have, rectified it by returning to Starless. My pride refused to let me.

So while Kongou tried to convince me to return to Starless, to our friends, we grew closer and eventually started dating after a few short weeks.

Kongou placed a sweet, chaste kiss on my forehead and gave me a bright smile, warming my heart. “It’ll be fine! Even Sotetsu is excited to see you again.”

He was sweet to say that of course, but I was still apprehensive. I wrapped my arms around myself and looked to the side, Kongou’s bright personality too much to keep looking at. “I still don’t know...”

“I told you, __________! Even back when I found you by chance at the park two months ago, everything will be fine. You’ll see!” Kongou smiled brightly at me and I felt my heart flutter slightly. “Trust me.”

I looked up into his kind, emerald green eyes and saw confidence and assurance that I didn’t feel, but knew I could trust. My lungs filled with air as I inhaled as deep as I could, held, then released in a rush, mentally fortifying myself for what was to come.

“Okay.”

~*~

Turned out that Kongou was right.

Everyone on both sides seemed to welcome me with open arms - some more begrudgingly than others - all just seeming to be glad that I had returned.

I looked past the group surrounding me the best I could and caught sight of an achingly familiar set of wide shoulders and brown hair. My heart clenched at the sight, knowing I had hurt him the worst. But how could I face him?

Kongou had seen the way I was looking at Sotetsu and squeezed my shoulder. “Go talk to him.”

He had been right so far, perhaps he was now as well. With a nod, I excused myself from the Starless teams and followed Sotetsu into a quiet back area.

When he stopped, I stopped, clenching my hands at my sides while trying to figure out what to say to him. What did someone say to another person after they broke up with them while they were in the hospital by way of a folded piece of paper? I squared my shoulders and cleared my throat. 'Get it over with...'

“So?” I could see his back visibly tense for a moment before releasing with a heavy sigh. I bit my lip to keep back tears of upset and frustration at the situation. “Sotetsu, I...”

Sotetsu rounded on me when I tried to speak. I thought he had been angry, but there was a heavy pain deep in his golden eyes. A pain I had caused.

“I looked for you, you know. For weeks? Months? Did I ever even stop? I don’t know now. No matter where I looked, who I talked to, you were gone.” He held up one of his large hands to keep me from speaking when I tried again. “I know you told me not to, but did you actually think I wouldn’t? Who do you think I am? So I got to thinking about the guy who started it all that day in the park.

“It took me longer than I’d like to admit, but I finally found him and gathered enough evidence, leaving an anonymous tip with the police, to have him arrested. I thought to myself: maybe if she heard about that guys arrest, she would come back. You said in your note at the hospital that you had left me to protect me after all.

“So I set to work doing just that. It took a couple months, but I finally got him arrested for abuse and sexual misconduct. Apparently, he was already a wanted man, but thought he was smart enough to get away.” He paused to look at me with furrowed brows. “But that still wasn’t enough to bring you back.

“Then Kongou comes in one day with one of the biggest smiles on his face. Told us that he had run into you while he was shopping for Starless. Imagine my surprise when he said that. Kongou of all people found you, instead of me. The one person in the world who knows you best!

"And to find you, a year later, with fucking Kongou? God damn it, _____! How could you do that to me? I looked for you everywhere. I never stopped. I used almost all of my contacts to find you, to protect you from that guy. I never stopped loving you. You were it for me, you know? Are you dating Kongou now? Fucking him?”

I flinched at his accusing tone, but quickly recovered and returned my own narrowed gaze towards him. “That’s enough! You know, ever since you opened your mouth, all I hear is me, me, me. I know I hurt you. Do you honestly think I wanted the past year to happen to us? Never in a million years did I think that something like that man coming back into my life. I didn’t want to leave you, Sotetsu.

“I did it because I believed it would protect you, since you were constantly protecting me. If I hadn’t cut ties with you, he would have kept coming and coming until he killed you. If you had...died... because of me, I’d... I’d never forgive myself.” I had to pause because of the emotion rising in my throat, threatening to choke me. “I would have died inside - I DID die a little inside when I watched you get shot. A little bit of my heart was left behind in that hospital room with you.”

The last of my impassioned speech was released loud enough that it echoed about the space.

“You could have come back to me. I got the guy imprisoned for a long time. You have to know how often I tried to call you, left voicemail after voicemail.”

I couldn’t help the heartbreak showing on my face. I knew that, but I couldn’t go back to him - not after he had almost gotten killed because of my crazy ex boyfriend. “I was...ashamed.”

“Of me?”

I threw up a hand to grip the front of his work shirt, making him focus on me. “No! Never of you. Of myself. I couldn’t face you. The thought of doing so after I had heard he went to prison scared the life out of me. I panicked at the idea of facing you after abandoning you when you needed me. But in my heart, I knew I’d done it to protect you because I loved you...”

“Loved. Past tense.”

I fidgeted where I stood in the shadow cast on the ground by the taller man, but I couldn’t look up at his reaction. Oh, but I heard exactly how he felt in just those three simple words. The raw pain he was feeling deep in his heart - like stitches being ripped from an open wound just barely starting to heal.

“I...I’m with Kongou now, Sotetsu.”

“Don’t remind me.” He spat, then sighed when he saw me flinch at his words. “Do you love him.”

“I like him a lot.” There was a long, awkward silence that encompassed them both. "But it's too soon to know."

The fact that I said I liked him, rather than love, didn’t escape either of us. Sotetsu reached up and gripped my wrist as if he were about to pull it from his shirt to separate us, but he didn’t.

“Is there still a chance you love me? Enough to come back since your ex won’t bother you anymore?”

My breath caught in my chest at the plea in his voice that he couldn’t cover up with his usual teasing tone. Something that he wouldn’t let just anyone see or hear.

Was there? Did I? Would he let me go back to him after everything I’d done? Did I deserve to?

--------------------------------------------

Choice time! Since I couldn’t decide on an ending, I wrote two.

I want to stay with you, Sotetsu!

Our time is done. I want to stay with Kongou.

#BSTS Sotetsu #BSTS Kongou #BSTS fanfic

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ayuuria · 4 years ago

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Yashahime Translation: Animage April 2021 Issue (Part 1)

Please do not repost this translation without my consent! This includes screenshots of any type and amount. If you wish to share this translation, simply link to this post.

For more information regarding the use of my translations, click here.

This month’s Animage article has more content than usual and mainly covers the music of Hanyō no Yashahime. That being said, I have decided to split the translation into three parts

Part 1: Interview with Kaoru Wada, Satō Teruo, and Nagura Yasushi

Part 2: Interview with NEWS

Part 3: Interview with Ryokuoushoku Shakai

Wrapped in the Warm Demonic Air of Spring!?

The Yashahimes, who reside in the feudal era, are in the midst of fully enjoying the spring event that is so familiar in the modern era. Surrounding those girls isn’t the nice warm air but rather the presence of a dangerous demon… …?

Spring is here! Towa, Setsuna, Moroha, and Takechiyo are blessing Easter under the bright warm weather. On this day, the three girls who carry the blood of the Dog General have turned into easter bunnies Y Setsuna, Moroha, and Takechiyo who grew up in the feudal era are overflowing with curiosity at the vibrant easter eggs Towa paints.

Well, in the illustration the Yashahimes have a warm air about them but in the main story, the girls are truly in the middle of an upheaval. In episode 21, the relationship between Riku and Kirinmaru which was wrapped in mystery up until now has been revealed. Riku himself states that he was abandoned by Kirinmaru.

In addition, in episode 22, Kirinmaru’s older sister, Zero, appears before the three of them, controls Towa’s body, forcefully breaks the seal placed upon Setsuna, and disappears after doing whatever she pleases. Zero is the creator of the cause that separated child Towa and Setsuna. Also, it seems she has a connection to Rin’s slumber. It appears Riku fondly calls Zero “Elder sister” but to Towa and the others, she is a person they need to keep an eye on.

The three girls continue to be exposed to a harsh fate. When will the girls be able to reunite with their families and live out a peaceful life known as “the flower (prime) of youth”?

Character Bios

Takechiyo A cheeky tanuki (racoon dog) demon child who works at the corpse shop. He gets snacks from the modern era when he cooperates with Towa, which pleases him. He is also aiming for the easter eggs!?

Higurashi Towa In order to save Setsuna who had her dreams and sleep stolen, she searches for the Dream Butterfly. Her explosive power when Setsuna is in a crisis is enough to leave a scar on Kirinmaru.

Setsuna She is always cool and calm but in episode 22, Zero released the seal placed on her demonic blood and Setsuna went out of control. It was resealed by Hisui’s older sister, Kin’u.

Moroha She works hard as a bounty hunter to repay her debt to Shikabaneya Jyuubee. In episode 21, she obtained the head of Tōtetsu of the Four Perils and received her first monetary reward in a while.

Spring Has Arrived in Towa’s Heart!?

In episode 21, Towa an Riku approach each other for the first time in a while. While saying there is no meaning in protecting her, Riku defended Towa from Tōtetsu’s attack and Towa told him “I like you!!” and gave him the silver rainbow pearl. Although it is not to the point of love, there certainly seems to be a special feeling budding between the two.

The Rainbow Pearls Are Zero’s Tears

The true nature of the rainbow pearls that Riku and many other demons seek out: they are the transformed tears Zero spilled onto the Shikon Jewel when she grieved the Dog General’s death. Currently, Riku possesses five of the rainbow pearls: green, purple, blue, orange, and silver. Setsuna and Moroha have the other two remaining pearls. When all seven are gathered, what exactly will happen?

The Grim Comet and Kirin-Sensei

The Grim Comet is a comet that nears the earth once every 500 years, bringing calamity with it. Working together to get rid of the comet were the Dog General and Kirinmaru during the Heian era and Sesshōmaru and Inuyasha during the feudal era. And now the modern era. Watching the Grim Comet approach once again was Towa’s middle school English teacher, Kirin Osamu-sensei. What exactly is his true identity?

Coloring the World with Sound

Director: Satō Teruo Music: Wada Kaoru Sound Director: Nagura Yasushi

To commemorate the release of the soundtrack CD, we circled around composer Wada Kaoru for a round-table discussion. We had him talk about the charm of the background music for “Hanyō no Yashahime”.

The Main Theme is the Yashahime’s “Hereafter”

— How did you create the musical composition for “Hanyō no Yashahime”?

Nagura: First, we gathered information from the finished scenarios and I created an at-a-glance music menu. After having director Satō review it, I handed it to Wada-sensei and we got together for meetings. We had Wada-sensei compose in accordance with that music menu but…

Wada: At that stage, we only had a rough direction of the story and the only finished scenarios that had final manuscripts were episodes 7 and 8. Not only did a lot of characters appear but just from reading the script, it was a constant state of “???” from the beginning like “Why are they separated even though they’re twin sisters?” “Where are the parents?” “Why is Moroha alone?”. It was then that (series composition) Sumisawa (Katsuyuki)-san and I had quite a few secret meetings where we cross-examined the information regarding the characters and story. I used that as a base for composing. While talking with Sumisawa-san, we had thoughts like “Even though it isn’t in the music menu, we probably need a song for this character” and as a result, the number songs increased unintentionally (laughs).

Satō: At first, we placed an order for 45 songs which I think is a lot for a 2 cour work. However, from there you created 1 to 5 times as many songs which I truly thank you for. I’d like to use all of them within the story.

— Wada-san, how do you normally go about composing music?

Wada: I don’t really use a piano and I just worry endlessly and have wild ideas. There are times when I think of ideas while walking. I’ve also come up with many ideas during my daily life like sitting at my desk in the office, taking a bath, or going shopping. If there are times where I can only come up with the motif, then there are also times where I can come up with an entire song in an instant. There are a variety of cases. Fundamentally, the melody I think of doesn’t get left in that spot. I consider anything I forget as something not good.

First, I need a starting point like “Let’s make something in this direction” so until I reach that point, I will rethink things over repeatedly. This time too, I had a hard time settling on the main theme that is “Hanyō no Yashahime”. The main theme expresses the world setting of a work, so I wonder how much to depict. This is why my meeting with Sumisawa-san regarding “Where exactly is this story going?” was necessary (laughs). It’s not like the music is the story’s answer checker but the main theme for “Inuyasha”, “Half-Demon Inuyasha”, is an action-adventure kind of music so to speak. Compared to that, it was a little different this time. What will happen to the three Yashahimes from here on was a major key to the motif, so in that sense, without knowing the story, I couldn’t write anything.

By the way, back then I rewrote “Half-Demon Inuyasha” three times before completing it. It was a completely different song at first and after writing and performing the piece as well as rereading the original comic again, I thought "This doesn’t fit”. Every time I’m creating a song, it’s a repetition of going in one direction or another.

Songs From the “Inuyasha” Era Have Been Reborn as A Next Generation Version

— Please tells us the characteristics of the music for “Hanyō no Yashahime”

Wada: For “Inuyasha”, it was work where the feudal era was the setting so the objective at the beginning was to heavily use traditional Japanese instruments like the biwa, shakuhachi, and flute. Rather than making traditional music like in Noh (play) or kabuki, my aim was to add the traditional Japanese instruments into the orchestra without feeling out of place. It went well in “Inuyasha”, so I continued that with “Hanyō no Yashahime”. As a work, “Hanyō no Yashahime” isn’t necessarily a “sequel to “Inuyasha”” but the music is.

Satō: This is something I also ordered. Afterall, I absolutely wanted the “Inuyasha” atmosphere. Nevertheless, this is a new story, so I wanted it to evolve as well.

Nagura: This time, we are using several musical compositions from the time of “Inuyasha”, but we’ve done new recordings of them. This is because roughly 20 years have passed since the songs for “Inuyasha” were first created. We worried that the “Inuyasha” music as it was back then and the newly recorded music for “Hanyō no Yashahime” wouldn’t take on the same color when mixed together. Thus, we had them newly recorded as a “Hanyō no Yashahime” version.

— In terms of “Hanyō no Yashahime” for example, how is the “Inuyasha” version from back then different from the “Hanyō no Yashahime” version?

Wada: The biggest difference is the tempo. I have recorded “Half-demon Inuyasha” several times after its completion but the slowest one was the first version. The tempo then was a quarter note = 120 (beats per minute) (annotation: roughly fast paced (allegro). The second hand of the clock is a quarter note = 60 bpm). At first, I looked at the comics and thought “Is this how it should go?” but when watching the anime, I began wanting to match the tempo of the animation and steadily (the music) changed into something action like. At the end, we had risen the bpm to nearly 140. This time, we can’t really use (the music) if it’s too fast so I generally keep it around 130 bpm.

— Director Satō, Sound Director Nagura, please tell us a scene within the main story where you especially felt the charm of Wada-san’s music.

Nagura: In episode 1 and 7, there’s a scene where Setsuna and Moroha rush to Towa who’s being held captive within Ougigayatsu-Hiiragi mansion, but you see, in episode 1, we didn’t use the main theme, “Hanyō no Yashahime”. This is because episode 1 was imaged as building the bridge between "Inuyasha and Kagome’s era” and “the Yashahime’s era”. During that time, based on the circumstances, we had battle type music set in but with the story having progressed in episode 7, we put in “Hanyō no Yashahime” as “Towa and the others’ music”. We were able to set it in a good way where it truly felt “Yashahimes Gather!”

Satō: We would love for people to pay close attention to that scene. “Hanyō no Yashahime” is my absolute favorite song. When I heard this song, I felt “With this, the world setting of “Hanyō no Yashahime” has been expressed” and I once again realized how amazing Wada-sensei was. For the scene in episode 7 where Towa, Setsuna, and Moroha gather, we not only redid the music but also the acting and recording for the three princesses. At a glance, it’s the same scene as episode 1 but I think it would be fun to view and compare them.

The Cheering Party During Composing

“When I was composing these (songs), there was the broadcasting of ““Inuyasha” Best Episode” on Youtube and events like “Inuyasha Café” and the “Inuyasha Anime Tracing Exhibition” were topics of discussion. That kind of hype up for Inuyasha was a like cheering party that encouraged me. I was truly grateful for it.” (Wada)

The Main Instruments of the Three Princesses

“With the various character themes, I employed an instrument that imaged each character. Towa is the flute type instruments (Japanese woodwinds), Setsuna is a koto, and Moroha is the percussion and flute. Also, Moroha’s theme has the inheritance of her mother’s blood in mind, so it’s a transformed version of the song “Overcoming Time Kagome” back from “Inuyasha””. (Wada)

#yashahime #hanyou no yashahime #yashahime: princess half demon #translation

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