#blogging about the ex

[punkeropercyjackson]

Black women will go through an entire lifetime's worth of trauma and still do our best to stay good people despite everything meanwhile nonblack men will face one inconvience and turn into chauvinists who think misandry is real

[writterings]

the thing they don't tell you about most mlm romance books is that they fucking suck ass

[abnormalpsychology]

[mxnster-soul]

karaoke?!?! what is bill singing,,, what is that funky little guy's music taste,,, the internet wants to know.

Omg, we're absolutely VIBING to Prom dress, Charlie's inferno, Miss Miseryguts, some meme shenanigans, and other stuff (story of undertale cuz it's a banger)

Turns out our tastes in music is hella similar ^^

[sofflepoffle]

I really enjoy whenever someone reblogs an old polygon post and it gains 100 new notes despite the fact that there is no polygon fandom presence on tumblr anymore cause we all still follow each other and pass it around the circle going “remember this? Remember this top Pat Gill moment?”

[witchofbrigid]

Welcome

Hello! You found me (maybe it was fated).

My gods asked me to create this blog, so I'm excited to see what they have in store. I plan on using this space to talk about my experience with the gods, my practice, and deconstructing fundamentalism.

A Little About Me

I've been on my spiritual path since I deconstructed from my fundamentalist Christian Church of Christ roots in 2013. In 2020, I officially claimed the label "pagan" and it's been quite a wild ride of self-discovery. My high school sweetheart and I married when we were 21 years old and celebrated 11 years of marriage this year (can you tell I'm a hopeless romantic?). I love nature walks, writing, and all things art.

My Current Practice

I'm a hellenistic polytheist which means I honor and work with the gods of the Greek pantheon. I incorporate features of reconstructionism and neopagan ideas to create a practice best for me. I'm a devotee of Aphrodite and Hekate. Apollo is my patron. I practice hedge witchcraft in the mountains of Colorado.

Don't Be Shy

I'm happy to answer any and all questions relating to witchcraft, deity work, and pagan practice! I love connecting with others in this community.

[whirlybirbs]

it’s 5:20am i cannot sleep i am consumed with thoughts and yearning for keigo takami i need to be euthanized

[theprodigxl-daughter]

A goodbye (but not a sad one!!!!)

I've been on antidepressants for almost a year now. This is the first year of my life in many, many years where I've been, genuinely, enjoying life. And, even in the moments where things are Not Great, I still feel great because I'm not constantly trying to off myself.

And it's not just the meds. I've been more in contact with my friends, I'm going out, meeting people. I'm getting the opportunity to be a young woman in my early twenties, to drink and wake up in the morning kind of regretting staying out late, but still having so. much. fun.

I still go to church, sometimes. Because it doesn't bother me anymore, because I can sit there, finally comfortable in my own skin, knowing that I know who I am and what I believe and that's enough.

And all of that has got me thinking: this is truly the only life that I have. There's no way of knowing what comes after this.

And I finally feel safe enough to feel really fucking great to affirm that there is no way that I'm going to spend the only life that I know I have denying myself of all the joys that exist in being a human being. I don't want to spend my days thinking of all the ways I was made wrong. Of all my shortcomings. Days of Making myself little, so He can be Great.

Which is why I think I'm ready to let go of this blog.

I created this space when I was feeling so much rage, so much sadness, and I needed community. And I got that, I truly did! I never really interacted much, but it was so great to know that I wasn't alone in my feelings.

This space means so much to me, because not only it helped me heal, but it's also proof that, yeah, I didn't think I would, but I survived.

I've been thinking of this for a while, and this post was supposed to be just this: a rant. But I feel like, in order to continue, I need to put some things behind, which includes my lovely blog.

I don't know if anyone cares, but I felt like I needed to say goodbye. I've been here for a while, and I've seen people come, and go, and I know I remember people and still check their blogs even when they disappear, so to anyone that might remember me and come across this blog:

I was here. I stayed, and it hurt so much, and I thought this kind of suffering would be never ending. And it wasn't. So I left.

[faggotfungus]

Thinkin about how when I was a kid and learning masturbation I thought there was something severely mentally wrong with me and everyone was gonna find out how much of a mentally ill pervert I was.

But yeah, the worst part of being a Jehovah Witness was no holidays.

[hellishfig]

i finally started watching heartstopper bc a cute girl talked about it (i know, i'm late to the party AND a simp)

but oh my GOD

i am simultaneously living my best life and in hell

it is so high school in both the best and worst ways

i'm towards the end of s1e3 and i want to take a baseball bat to my old high school's gymnasium to get the feelings out of my body

[zmbienoir]

please make me forget about everyone else i only want to think of you

[punkeropercyjackson]

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[tinyfantasminha]

👍

[an0nfr0mth3d3n]

Can someone ask q!bbh if his ex-wife q!Hecate is single? Asking for a friend…

[particleseparationroom]

us culture is so heavily influenced by protestant beliefs, especially re: work, that as an ex-fundie it's so easy to assume everybody else was raised some less extreme sort of christian and just doesn't talk about it. right? they're all still saved and i'm not. even as an adult i feel like a struggling kid looking around the auditorium at all the adults with their heads bowed and eyes closed, effortlessly sharing something ive never been able to make myself feel.

i was really really surprised when my roommate told me she wasn't raised religious and didn't know anything about the bible. and when my friends who were raised vaguely catholic didn't know what the rapture is. and every time i have to explain why the evangelical right is so into zionism.

when i'm on the bus and i find some the-end-is-nigh-get-right-with-jesus bullshit i pick it up and take it with me to let it die on my bookshelf, because part of my brain still thinks it's blasphemous to just throw it away. it feels like seeing an old friend. i've never met any else who could even point to my hometown on a map, like, the 10 square miles where i spent the first 20 years of my life is less than insignificant even to the rest of the world, and when i see pamphlets that talk about the end of days i feel seen. when i hear people endorse an ideology that would like to kill me and everyone i love, i feel at home. flat and barren fields and dead, decaying trees, and the smell of mildew; suggestions to REPENT NOW, and the strangers who won't see me as anything but a tranny and a sinner and an abomination, and the fog that hovers on the surface of the river in the morning.

the culture i'm from wants to kill all of us. how do i scrub the fascism from all the places I want to take my friends - before it becomes illegal for us to visit them?

[lizbethsletters]

letters | 023

𝓭𝓮𝓪𝓻, 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓶𝔂 𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮

Should I even call you that, I mean you aren't even in my life right now and you might never be again. When I see someone that does something you would've done like balance a pencil on their mouth I feel my eyes start to water but I blink them away because I shouldn't be feeling like this when I broke up with you. Your eyes that were always filled with love and happiness would look at me with anger and hurt but I would do anything to even see your face. I still love you and I get flashbacks when anything reminds me of you, it feels like we are back to that exact moment and talking about anything. When in reality, we don't even speak and you aren't even in my life. I want more than anything to just see you even from a distance a glimpse anything to even know that you are okay that this didn't break you. I'm telling myself that if it's meant to be we will see each other again and we will have a second chance that it means we truly are meant to be but realistically, it won't happen. We live in different states and live completely different lives there's no way for us to bump into each other. I want to pick up the phone call you and just hear your voice, if you sound mad, nervous, or even sad I just want to hear your voice. You mean everything to me but, I might mean nothing. This sounds harsh but I want you to hate me because that means there is no going back that you truly hate me that we truly are done. In some messed up way, I have no way to heal because you aren't here but it's like you never even existed. I miss you more than I need oxygen. I love you more than my body needs water. But I don't have you and I feel like I might be dirt on the floor for you. I love you but we aren't anything. I'm sorry for breaking this off but it was the only option for you to move on and be happy and have someone to be there for you. There's one song that reminds me of you called "De ti me enamore?", I love you. I wish I could send everything that reminds me of you instead of making it into a folder on my phone that just says love these instead of just sending them to you. I love you so much. I'm sorry.

𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓼 𝓽𝓻𝓾𝓵𝔂,

𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓰𝓲𝓻𝓵 𝓪𝓷𝔂𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 :(