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indulgentdaydream · 10 months ago

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Can you write something where the reader is badly injured in some way and jason rushes her to the manor for help and everybody is confused on who she is bc they didnt even know he was in a relationship (despite them being together for awhile) but they see how soft and cute he is with her. (I’ve never made a request so sorry if it got kinda rambley)

anon you’ve got me TEEMING with ideas I LOVE the trope of nobody knowing jason has a girlfriend and they find out but it is NOT by Jason’s choice nor reader’s.

Also omg? Your first ask is to lil ol me?? That means this is a special occassion. And you’re doing great I’ve def sent worse asks.

Out of the Bag

Jason Todd x Fem!Reader || Hurt and Comfort.

Word Count: 1,862

Warnings: Injuries, swearing, near death experience, blood, knife mention, stabbing, canon-typical violence, use of pet names (princess, baby), drug (pain med) use

You were sat in an alleyway, vision going in and out.

“Tell me something, princess. Anything.” Jason’s voice rang out in your ear.

That’s right. In your right hand, you held your phone, to your ear. Your other hand was pressing the fabric of your coat to the side of your stomach. The blood had soaked through, becoming sticking on your palm and fingers.

You should’ve listened to Jason. You shouldn’t have walked home alone, at night. Luckily your phone had been in your pocket and not your purse, which had been stolen from you by the same guy who decided to stab you.

“Princess,” he sounded panicked.

Right. “Wish I had kicked him harder.”

You heard a sigh of relief leave him, “That’s my girl.”

The phone slipped from your grip a little as your head swam. The sight of blood coming from your own abdomen made no help in quelling your nausea.

You fixed the phone. You had called Jason the second the guy ran off, leaving you to bleed out. He was driving, you think. Tracking your phone to try and get to you. “How far?”

He said something you didn’t hear. Your vision was swimming, your side was aching, and you couldn’t help but keep this funny understanding out of your mind that you were dying.

That this is something Jason had come back to your apartment with a few times, claiming it was nothing. It was something.

You heard him call your name, “What’s around you?”

“I’m tired,” you mumbled.

It seemed to happen in a blink of an eye. Jason was trying to tell you to stay awake, to look at the alley around you. To look out towards the street and tell him what you saw. Then he was there, standing in front of you, his helmet hiding his face.

“I’m here. I’m here, baby.” He cupped your face, tapping your cheek to get you to open up your eyes. He crouched down, pulling your hand from your side to assess the damage.

You smiled lazily and leaned forward, resting your forehead against his shoulder.

Jason muttered a slew of swears as he pressed something soft yet hard against your agonizing wound. You let out a yelp before Jason was picking you up, placing you on his bike.

He’s talking fast, “Fuck. Okay, listen to me. We’re going to go somewhere new, okay? There’s nowhere around here except there for me to get you safe.”

You passed out nearly as soon as he started the bike.

Jason’s freaking. He had tried to keep you safe from anything like this. From everything less than this. And here you were, bleeding out in his arms as he carried you through the batcave. He beelined for the cots and the medical supplies off to the side. He knows his motorcycle couldn’t have been the smoothest of rides for someone in your condition, but it’s all he had in such a short time span.

He’ll apologize when you wake up.

When. He repeats. When she wakes up and when we can get the hell out of this place again and when I can remind her I love her.

No one was back from patrol yet. He set you down on the cot before tearing off his helmet. He tossed it aside, pulling out a med bag and ripping it open. He pushed up your shirt, examining your side and where he had placed the military-grade gauze pad. He curses at the amount of blood.

His hands are shaking. Jason’s hands don’t shake, but you’ve proven to him a lot of things you could make him do that he hadn’t known he was capable of in the last year and (almost) a half of your relationship.

Jason nearly drops the suture thread before another hand is reaching out from just behind him. It catches the thread and Jason looks back over his shoulder. Alfred’s there, moving up to you.

“Allow me. You keep checking her vitals.”

Jason hadn’t even heard him come up. He’s nodding, stepping back to let Alfred take over the stitching. He moves to the other side of the bed.

That’s when he catches sight of the dark figure moving closer from behind Alfred. Jason immediately fixes him with a deadly glare, pointing at Bruce, “Do not come closer!”

Bruce stills. He’s in his bat suit, his cowl hanging behind his head, exposing his face. He looks down to your body, “Who is she?”

Jason doesn’t want him here. Rather, he doesn’t want to be here. You should’ve been home by now. Getting ready for bed and sending him a goodnight text. He turns his gaze back to you.

There’s some hair across your face that he hadn’t noticed. He moves it out of your way without a second thought, “My girlfriend.”

“Finally feel some remorse for sending someone to their grave, Todd?” Damian’s voice spoke up, walking up and stopping beside Bruce, “He’s probably trying to just reverse what he did.”

Jason ignores him. He wants to yell, scream, and maybe shoot the little bastard, but he was right. In a way, this was his fault. He didn’t look after you. He should’ve offered you a ride. Called you a taxi. An uber. Anything.

Jason grips your hand into his. It’s a way to count your heartbeat, and another way to ground himself. To reassure that you’ll be okay. His other hand stays on your cheek. His thumb gently moves back and forth, stroking your skin.

He barely registers Bruce telling Damian to go wash up. When the brat is gone, Bruce speaks up again, “What happened?”

Jason doesn’t take his eyes off of you, “She was walking home from her friend’s. A mugger got her purse, she fought back. He stabbed her.” Jason takes a deep breath, “She still had her phone. She called me. I brought her here because it was closest.”

A beat of silence. Still stitching you up, Alfred speaks, “How come we’ve never been introduced?”

Jason shakes his head, “I didn’t want her near any of this. She’s bad off enough sticking with me.”

Once you stabilize, Jason brings you up to his room in the manor. He walks past Dick, Tim, Duke, Cass, and Steph without looking at them. They sit around the batcomputer, watching Jason gently carry you out ot the cave.

He changes you out of your dirty clothes once he makes a run back to your apartment to grab you some of your own spare clothes.

Asides from that, he doesn’t leave your side.

He lets you have the bed to yourself. He pulls up a chair beside it, waiting for you to wake up. He didn’t want you to be alone when you did, in a strange place after a traumatic event. It was a recipe for disaster.

The sun’s been up for a long while and Jason hasn’t budged. He sits there, your hand gripped in both of his, held up and pressed against his mouth. His lips brush over your knuckles whenever he speaks up. Uttering a “I’m sorry.” every now and then.

There’s a light knock at the door before it’s cracking open. Jason turns his head to find Dick poking his head in. Jason glares at him.

Dick steps further in, presenting the tray he was holding. There were two glasses of water, some solid foods, and lighter ones, probably for you. Jason looked back down at you, letting his older brother enter.

“Just… figured since you’ve been cooped up in here all day,” Dick begins, setting the tray down on the beside table beside Jason.

Dick moves back around. He stands at the end of the bed, leaning against the tall bed post that was meant to hold up a canopy. “I heard…” he trails off, before nodding and your body in the bed, still unconscious, “Who is she?”

Jason looks up at his brother, not letting go of your hand, “So you haven’t heard.”

Dick rolls his eyes, “You know what I mean.”

Jason raises his brows a little. He looks back down at you. His hand reaches out to brush along your forehead, moving away imaginary stray hairs, “My girl.”

Dick nods in understanding, “How long you two been together.”

Jason pauses in thought, “Over a year. Our anniversary was in December.”

A small, choked sound comes from outside the door, in the hallway. “A year?”

Jason looks up at Dick, who makes a face that shows he’s knows he’s been caught.

“Are they seriously listening right now?”

Steph poked her head in first, an apologetic smile on her face, “We wanted to know!”

Duke pokes his head in next, just above Steph’s, “And we wanted to meet her.”

Tim’s head in next, above Duke’s, “You can’t carry a random bleeding woman into the cave and expect the family of detectives to not be curious.”

Cass’ head appears below Steph’s. She nods in agreement.

Jason let’s one hand go of yours to wave his hand through the air, “What the fuck? She’s not even awake!”

“Well that’s why we sent Dick as bait.”

“For the record,” Dick held up a finger, “They built off of my original, innocent idea of bringing you snacks.”

“Jesus Christ,” Jason stands up, taking a few steps forward. He points them all back towards the door as they start to filter into the room, “Get—“

“What’s going on…?”

Jason’s whole body whipped back around at the sound of your groggy, rough voice. The others watch as he’s back at your side in a millisecond, his whole demeanour changed. “Hey, you’re okay. Everything’s okay. Remember how I said we were going somewhere new? You thirsty, baby? Here, I got you some water.”

“Oh, you certainly did not get the water,” Dick piped up.

Jason glared back over his shoulder as he held the glass of water for you, keeping the straw Dick had added placed in your mouth.

You stopped drinking, your eyes now on the other people in the room. You turned your head, propped up against pillows Jason had put there for you. You weakly raised your left hand to wave, “Hi… oh?” your gaze turned down to your hand. A heart monitor clip sitting on your finger grabbed your attention. You gave a confused pout at it, “I feel funny.”

Jason set the water aside again. His glare was gone. He leaned in, kissing your forehead, “You’re hopped up on pain meds. That’s why, princess.”

“Damn,” Steph spoke up, “I wish I got the literal princess treatment.”

Jason turned back around, pointing out the door, “Get. Out. Leave my girlfriend alone until she’s better.”

You looked at the strangers, pointing at Jason with your left hand, “I’m his girlfriend.” Your head tilted back against the pillows as you stared up at Jason, pursing your lips, "I’m tired.”

“I know,” Jason said softly. The others began to filter out of the room as he leaned down and gave you a soft kiss, this time on the lips.

From the exit, a collective, “Awwww,” sounded out.

“Out!”

Your drugged up voice came after his, once they were all back in the hall, “Nice to meet you!”

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ennn · 14 days ago

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Things I Liked About the Agatha All Along Finale - Initial Thoughts

Wooooo boy. Hey look I'm a bleeding heart shipper but I'm old and have been in enough fandoms. Let's process shall we?

Alice! Alice echo-ing what so many fans are saying about her lost potential. Rio actually being kind in reminding Alice her death did have purpose. "You're a protection witch, you protected someone."

The development of Billy's extremely complicated relationship with Agatha. Kid's not loyal to Agatha, he's understanding her, or starting to at least. He sees her being a relationship with Death and he's curious about the story there. He cares enough to connect the dots and see Agatha as a full person. And we see that developed as the finale goes.

"That's it? That's all the time that I get?" The show reminds us that death sometimes just happens – "Sometimes boys die" – I wonder if one of these writers is a Sandman fan because I immediately clocked a parallel to Death of the Endless taking a baby's life in her first comic appearance.

Death of the Endless is of course much kinder than Rio is with her (iconic) reply to that eternal question. "You lived what anyone gets... A lifetime."

That whole convo we got in the preview clip. And then them just sitting down and talking more? Albeit with layers of manipulation but y'know that's them.

Agatha telling Rio that she'll hand over Billy if Rio leaves her alone: essentially making Rio once again choose between her duty and her feelings towards Agatha. The deepest cut Agatha could make – which we see echoed with "If you do this I'll hate you forever." They know each other and the best ways to hurt each other.

I laughed waaaay too much at Agatha ragging on Jen's last vegetable name.

Jen's unbinding ritual was powerful and a fantastic moment for the character. She recognised and embraced her power. Agatha's mask slipping a little at the end as well. Amazing. Sasheer killed it.

The whole scene with Agatha working with Billy to bring Tommy back was beautiful and emotional and well put together and showed the side to Agatha that cements her as a great mentor (when she's not being the biggest murderous asshole).

Agatha using what she learnt from her Alice and Jen – and what Lilia told her – to hold her ground with Rio... okay it lasted like 10 seconds but it was a nice callback! Agatha's such a shameless survivor.

Incredible kissing. We knew Hahn and Plaza would deliver and they did. When it comes to kissing women, these two absolutely go for it.

Rio looking absolutely gutted with having to take Nicky away. Plaza really delivered with Rio's pain in these eps. Agatha calling her "my love", cursing and then begging.

Rio being soft about Nicky despite her job. Nicky willingly going with her with no fear, no hesitation – suggesting that they did bond somehow? Nicky knew she was a friendly face and trusted her. It was really a good death, all things considered. He wasn't sick, he wasn't in pain, he wasn't scared he simply fell asleep and just went.

Rio reminding Nicky to kiss his mom goodbye. She cares so much, as much as a personification of death can. It's funny how some people thought Rio was going to be this manipulative big bad but no, Agatha's the more toxic one in this relationship.

Okay like imagine Agatha finally dying and just straight up BOOKING it before Rio pops up. Rio hates ghosts. The number of times Agatha deliberately pissed her off this finale was amazing.

"I'm sure he'll forgive you for... whatever you did." Aw Billy is a good kid. Just like Nicky was. Agatha needs that reminder, that anchor to not be the Worst.

Chemistry aside, Agatha and Billy being mentor-pupil makes a ton of sense because these Maximoffs do the most fucked up shit (unintentionally) with their magic and Agatha's got the knowledge, charisma, cynicism, and the morals of a spinning compass to support him.

Alright when are they announcing the sequel / spin-off? I know there's a rumour of it happening. Rio's got 2 abominations and one endlessly aggravating ghost of an ex to deal with now.

#agatha all along #agatha all along spoilers #agathario #agatha harkness #rio vidal #tv: agatha all along #aaa meta #we actually got a bunch of great things y'all

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wandixx · 4 months ago

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Danny, the Young Justice member snippet nr 2

these snippets aren't connected in anyway but just some little scenes I came up with, everyone is welcome to build up on them if they want to

Trigger warning: death mentioned, self-harm mentioned, idk, Danny gets flashback to portal incident

unrelated snippet nr 1, unrelated snippet nr 3 (?)

Out, out, out.

He tripped over his own legs and almost fell and it didn’t matter because he needed to get out.

Away, away, away.

He wasn’t sure if he ran or flew or dragged himself on the rough floor but he had to get away. His back hit a wall and he couldn’t get past it, intangibility just out of his grasp.

He logically knew that Zeta Tube wasn't the same as the portal but it was similar. So deadly similar.

He wasn’t sure when his own, corps-like, trembling with rigor mortis cold hands started rubbing his arms. He also wasn’t sure whether it was to comfort himself in this lonely self-hug or to try to rub hard enough that the hazmat and skin underneath would be torn, allowing him to see his own, red blood running in his veins. It was still red, right? It was still red, right? Of course it was still running, why wouldn’t it?

His knees gave up. He fell to the ground with quiet reverbatting thump, his eyes fixated on danger at the other side of the large room. He had to get further away but he couldn’t.

Because he was dying again.

Eyes full of tears and terror were jumping around, unable to see the room around him. Why couldn’t he see anything? Why were there only splashes of various colors, all contrasting with a light gray background. Were these people? Colors were moving, that seemed likely. Ghosts?! He had to get ready if these were ghosts he needed to fight them. People could be in danger and he couldn’t even stand without support. He started it, he had to take care of it, no matter how he felt right now.

His normally overly, unnaturally sensitive ears were filled with constant electric buzz from still active Zeta Tubes.

He was quite sure someone was yelling something but no matter what, Danny couldn’t understand what was being said. He tried looking around again but his teary eyes still failed him. There were no red stains though. Not in the right shade at least. No one was bleeding. It was okay for now.

Was it really? He hadn’t bled when he was dying had his accident though. It was all inside him, the crushing hollowness inside him and infinite outside pressure making his body implode. Ectoplasm bubbling in his mouth, throat, stomach and fingers, silencing his scream of agony and destroying his muscles. His limbs were limp and tense, twitching like a broken light bulb, out of his control but not out of his senses. It was so cold that it bit his bones and so hot that his skin was melting. There were screams so loud that it could shatter glass, as if every inhabitant of the Ghost Zone wanted to be heard and absolute suffocating silence. He was alone like nobody ever was and stuck in a stifling crowd that could stomp him to death any second. It was all contrasting, impossible but happening, existing together. He lived died it.

It was impossible, just like him.

There were others, they could help while Danny got himself together.

They couldn’t help if it was a ghost. He had to calm down and get ready to fight.

He couldn’t.

It was all happening again.

He was dying again.

It hurt to even think about.

Would it at least kill him for good?

Air he hadn’t needed before, not since his first death he always needed, like all functioning, alive human beings, got stuck in his lungs. He was gasping for it, choking on it. There was something stuck in his throat. SOme part of his brain that wasn’t screaming in agony and panic and loneliness had considered tearing his neck open just to get whatever was stuck swallowing but it didn’t help.

He rubbed his arms harder. His eyes were locked on a blurred, still active portal. One of the color blobs moved, growing larger but he couldn’t think about what it meant. His arms hurt. It was good. Pain was grounding. In a gray room with few portals. Not the basement. Ghosts still could be there but it wasn't a basement. He still needed to get ready to fight

If he could feel pain, it meant he was alive, right? Ghosts never showed that they felt pain right? His parents always said they couldn’t.

He knew it was a lie but he felt like it was his last hope.

He realized that growing group of colors actually looked like a person but he had no way to tell whether they were alive or not. His ghost sense was quiet but he didn’t trust himself to not miss it. His throat was still shut tightly. His body kept twitching like a glitching character. No matter what, he couldn’t fight right then. He had to get himself together.

He scratched his arms almost violently.

Warm, soft, gentle hands pried his palms away from his arms. It wasn't a ghost. Ghosts weren't this gentle, this calmingly warm. Someone, someone who was alive, was crouching in front of him, face at the same level as his, hiding portals from his sight. Danny nearly sunk into their gentle touch.

“-om." their voice also was so gentle, filled with concern but firm enough to get to him over the buzz of portals. He tried to concentrate on this voice. He didn't want to hear portals.

"-ntom." It sounded like they were calling someone. He had to focus more to understand. Gentle grip on his wrists got more firm. There he was. He wouldn't feel it if he was dying again.

"Phantom." They called quietly, like little windbells Sam gave him as a birthday present. It was his name, they were asking him something he couldn't understand, something he couldn't do.

"I'm sorry."

He wasn't sure if any sound came out of his mouth.

Grip on his hands loosened a little, not enough for him to do anything about it, but enough to return to the pure feeling of safety and reassurance it gave him before.

“It's okay Phantom." they murmured. Danny nearly cried at their kindness and calmness. Air slowly started to fill his lungs again. It truly was okay, he wasn't dying again."Can you focus on five things you can see for me?"

He could do it. It wasn't much to repay the gentle person kneeling in front of him.

He blinked tears away and started the list in his head.

Black Canary in front of him.

Superboy in the middle of the room. He looked like he didn't know what to do.

Kid Flash next to him, ready to come to where Danny was shaking on the floor.

Robin and Artemis both made sure that Kid stayed where he was.

Miss Martian for sure feeling his panic and having trouble coping with this. He should calm down as soon as he can, he didn't want to cause any of his teammates too much stress.

Danny nodded, looking once again at the only adult hero in the room.

Molecules in his body were rearranging again. It all hurt.

"Thank you Phantom. Can you focus on four things you can hear?"

Five racing heartbeats.

One heartbeat that sounded more like buzz because of its speed. KF's heart was always weird.

Tapping of someone's feet.

Zeta Tubes.

He had been in the portal again, it had turned on with him inside again. He was dying again.

Next cautious nod.

"Alright. Now three things you can touch." Black Canary still sounded so calm, so sure she had it all under control. So contrary to her panicked heart. Danny wanted to believe her voice.

Canary's hands still on his wrists. In fact she was touching him more than he was her, but it still counted. There was some physics rule about it.

Cold stone he was sitting on. Weird, he was sure this cave was heated.

Hard wall pressing on his spine.

"Excellent. Two things you can smell?"

Jazz had done same exercise with him before.

Cookies made by Megan before she went on a mission.

Ectoplasm. Somewhere there was ectoplasm that wasn't inside him. He couldn't smell his own ecto. But there was no ghost in the cave. His sense was silent. It was there somehow else. It was concerning but not enough to make him panic again. They could handle it.

His lungs were still aching but air started filling them nearly as much as it did normally. His limbs stopped shaking so much too. He knew he wasn't dying this time. He was calming down.

"You're doing great Phantom. Now think, what's one thing you can taste?"

Aftertaste of ectoplasm he spat between the rough fight and the moment when Kid Flash rushed him to the nearest Zeta Tube, talking about medical attention. Danny tried to tell him, he didn't need that but he was inside before his explanation left his mouth.

"Do you feel better now?"

"Yeah," It was all he was able to say at the moment. He truly felt better but that didn't mean good. It was only a little less bad than shitty, one step from fully dead.

I considered writing continuation with Danny explaining a bit what happened and how he even ended up in Zeta Tube but a) lost spark to rewrite it b) hated what already had But if you want, I can probably rub my remaining two braincels together and continue. Or someone else can. Do it if you want to. Do it. Do it

#dp x yj #dpxyj #dp x dc #dpxdc #dcxdp #dc x dp #once again Danny didn't even consider telling his team that he is halfa #but it doesn't matter this as much I think #once again I have no idea about the timeline #I think Danny would hate Zetas because it reminds him too much of the portal incident #and before anyone comes at me saying that Danny used portal later in the show and had no problems with it #*yeah* but after first time portal worked like overglorified door/corridor hybrid and not tear him apart and build up again #Judging by the way Zeta travel is animated #i assume they work on the “destroy your current body remake it where you won't to go” basis or something similar #you can see how Danny would be uneasy with it #btw this is one of my main headcanons I can and will always use unless story demands something eles #but even then I'm not above looking into every other way to achieve plot without use of Zeta or make at least mention that he is shaken aft #anyway #have a nice day dear stranger who got to this part

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r0-boat · 3 months ago

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Whb Kings when you're sad

You are sobbing in your room absolutely unconsolable and all you wish to do is be alone Even with all the demons trying to cheer you up you are still crying and sniffling. Now it's up to the kings What do they do?

Satan

Busting down your door tearing it off its hinges he sees you're crying face. The man is steaming with wrath. Plowing down demons that got in his way to get to you, clenching his fists So hard his fingernails are making his palms bleed. But still even when he feels like he's going to tear someone's lungs out and eat them right in front of them He gently tilts your face up to have you look at him and he says with glowing red eyes staring deep into yours "Who did this?"

He doesn't even know why you're crying He just knows that someone is going to pay. It don't matter if it's a person or not tearing that shit apart. The first name you hear from your lips will be getting punched.

Mammon

His heart is pounding in his chest The moment he found out how sad you were today, Who knew this was an urgent matter that needs his immediate attention. He will also instantly believe that it's his fault. So he will shower you with everything. Overwhelming you with random and sporadic gifts, wrapped in silk ribbons and gold foil every time he presents you with a gift He will place it right next to you and give you a kiss. Part of him absolutely pains him to leave you alone like this but he cannot bear to see you red with tears of sadness.

Leviathan

Someone is dying. And they are dying a slow and painful death. If you want he could even bring you the head of whoever made you cry. You will probably notice that He probably will not tease you as much today since he's afraid he might make you worse. Levi also gets a little gentler as well as getting extremely protective.

Levi is a mix of Mammon and Satan, but he blames everybody else. And he will throw hands at anyone who even looks at you wrong. And he'll shower you with presents but doesn't know how to do it, so gently place it behind you without even looking at you with a note that says "stop being sad. It's making me angry...please."

Beelzebub

Like a puppy who sees that his master is sad and tries to smother you in as much love and affection as humanly possible. He knows that when he is sad he eats so he brings you your favorite food. Beel's love language is just company So if you're sad he isn't leaving your side even for a moment somehow he becomes even more of a velcro demon.

Lucifer

The first time he saw you crying he thought you were hurt and he tried to heal you He looked extremely concerned as he asked where were you bleeding.

Lucifer believes he isn't very good with human emotion But he's actually extremely helpful. he is a good listener and he will provide his ear, as well as his opinions if you want them.

He will either validate you or ground you and he is a little blunt with them.

Belphegor

He will grab you take you into his bed and make you cuddle against him petting your hair until you fall asleep into his chest. Sometimes all you need is just silence and cuddling. Sometimes all someone needs is just some sleep.

Crying is a huge waste of energy but it's not all bad because once you get it all out you won't be sad anymore. And despite the hassle the least he can do is be a shoulder to cry on and listen to whatever is troubling you before the two of you cuddle together and sleep.

#whb #what in hell is bad #wihib #whb belphegor #whb beelzebub #whb leviathan #whb lucifer #whb satan #whb mammon

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god-i-hope-so · 5 months ago

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Buck receives the call from Tommy's captain himself in the middle of the night, during his shift. He's Tommy's new emergency number, he's also been at the center of a recent discussion with Tommy's captain about it, after years of not having a real emergency number except his closest coworkers.

Buck arrives at the hospital, a little frantic, still in his uniform. He knows it's "not life threatening" but bad enough for Tommy to undergo emergency surgery. Captain Garcia meets him near the lobby, his left hand in a thick bandage, his arm in a sling.

"Firefighter Buckley? Evan Buckley? Captain Garcia. I wish we'd met under different circumstances."

"Captain."

"We were on a fire near the station, the structure collapsed, probably due to a weakness we couldn't see. A rebar went through his thigh, lots of bleeding, but he should be okay."

"Should?"

"I'm not a doctor, son, but I know when a man's dying. And he wasn't."

Captain Garcia is clear and to the point, and Buck appreciates it.

Waiting alone in the lobby of the hospital in the middle of the night wasn't on his plan for this shift. He could have called Maddie but it was 2 am when he got the call. He'll call her later.

Then a woman and two very sleepy young children sit not too far from him. While she settles the kids on the seats next to her, their head on her lap, her eyes land on Buck.

"You're Evan, right?" she asks in a low voice.

Buck is surprised, he doesn't know her, doesn't recognize her face.

"I'm Sophie, er, Dan's wife, Tommy's coworker. They were together when it happened. I know we never met but I've heard of you and Philip- Captain Garcia told me you were already here."

She looks at him with kind eyes behind her tired and worried expression.

"It's- It's nice to meet you, Sophie. I'm sorry, I- I don't-"

"It's alright, I know Tommy is a very private man." She sighs. "He and Dan have been working together for seven years now. Dan has always been the kind to easily befriend people but Tommy was quite the challenge when he was transferred at the station!"

Her smile is genuine. She's picking at her nails, her hands slightly shaking.

"Can I get you something warm to drink?" Buck proposes, already standing up. He needs to move, idly waiting has never been his thing.

"Oh, coffee? Thank you."

"No problem. Anything for them?" he looks at the sleeping children, realizing they're younger than he first thought.

"Water, for later maybe, I don't want to wake them up."

"Of course."

His smile feels stiff on his own face. He shouldn't be here, meeting the wife of Tommy's coworker on the cold plastic seats of the hospital. He should be with his team, sending bad jokes and flirty messages to Tommy who would indulge him.

When he comes back from the vending machine, Sophie is typing on her phone and doesn't see him.

"Here you go," he says softly, not wanting to startle her.

"Thank you." She tastes the coffee, makes a face and sighs. "At least you know the job," she says with a small smile.

"I guess I do. But..."

"I know. It's worse sometimes, because you know what really happens." She lowers her eyes on her coffee cup, swirling the dark liquid in it. Her loose braid slowly comes undone, letting strands frame her face. "Let's meet again around a meal, when our men are better, yes?"

Our men. Buck never thought about Tommy that way, as part of "our men". He nods.

"I'd love that. Thank you, Sophie."

He wonders if that's what if feels to be a "firefighter's wife", to be the partner of a first responder, meeting around unfortunate events and making plans for better days. Sophie shares stories about the station in hushed voice, telling Buck about the people there, the others wives and partners, the children, the parties and the solidarity. Of course, everything sounds very familiar to Buck, but it's like hearing stories from another family.

Then he hears Tommy's name being called and for a second, he feels dizzy. Sophie almost gets up with him then smiles at him. He realizes he didn't ask about Dan, but he'll make sure to stay in touch through Tommy.

The surgeon is in a hurry but takes a few minutes to explain what she did and what will happen next. Tommy will be fine, his leg will recover but the muscle has been badly damaged and it'll take him some time to go back to his daily routine. Even longer before being able to go back to work.

The room is quiet when he enters, safe for a regular and reassuring beep. Buck hesitates a second, seeing Tommy like that feels crushing, even if his sleeping face looks relaxed. His fingers slip into Tommy's hand before gently squeezing it. Feeling his warmth on his palm soothes his nerves.

"Hey, babe."

#bucktommy #tevan #kinley #tommy kinard #evan buckley #bucktommy ficlet #i just wanted to put buck into a stressing situation but with no real danger lol #sorry darling boy #i also wanted him to have a glimpse into tommy's world #the captain is an oc i have no idea what's his real name #and i wanted tommy to have a work family of his own

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joelsrose · 15 days ago

Text

Polaroids

just fluff - maybe this will distract u guys from the ending of last chapter hehehe

You leaned back into the worn-out car seat, the low hum of the engine mingling with the crackle of the old radio. The old country music drifted over the airwaves, soft and faint, nearly swallowed by static. The radio itself was a relic, knobs worn and dials stubborn, the plastic casing chipped and yellowed with age. Sometimes it cut out completely, leaving only a soft crackling, but today it clung to the melody, filling the cab with the warmth of old tunes and distant memories.

Sunlight filtered through the cracked window, spilling across your face and hands in fractured beams. Outside, the landscape stretched on, an endless expanse of dust and decay, each mile marked by the skeletons of a world long gone—a place suspended in ruin, holding its breath.

Joel’s voice pulled you from your thoughts, low and steady. “Not much longer now. We’ll get what we need and move on.”

You met his words with a nod, too tired to reply. You’d been traveling for days now, driven by the promise of Jackson and the slim hope of civilization. Supplies were running low, as always; every stop felt like a roll of the dice, hoping to find something, anything, left behind.

It had only been a few months since he’d found you, though time had blurred into a haze, each day bleeding into the next. Exhaustion hung between you both, heavy and constant, like a second skin you couldn’t shake, worn thin from days on the road and nights too quiet to let you sleep.

Joel had saved you when you’d been cornered, trapped in an old, crumbling building with nowhere to go. You’d been running from a small group of infected, adrenaline pumping as you turned down a dark hallway only to find it a dead end. Your options had narrowed to one: wait for them to close in or make your last stand. Just when it seemed there’d be no way out, Joel appeared—silent and swift, moving with a brutal efficiency that left you stunned. In a matter of seconds, he’d cleared the path, his hand gripping yours as he pulled you to safety, his strength as grounding as his presence.

Since then, you’d stayed by his side, even though he’d made it clear he didn’t want company. He worked alone, he’d insisted, in that blunt, no-nonsense way of his. But you hadn’t given him much choice, and over time, it seemed he’d stopped minding. Now, you were the thorn in his side—a place you gladly occupied. With Joel, you felt a kind of safety you hadn’t known in ages. He’d pulled you out of more tight spots than you could count, watching your back like an instinct.

And though his gruff persona suggested otherwise, you liked to think you offered him something in return, even if it was only the company he didn’t know he needed. Maybe, just maybe, he’d gotten used to the rhythm you’d found together, the unspoken understanding that had grown between you with each mile.

The truck rolled to a stop, the engine dying into silence. You reached for the door, and as always, Joel shot you a quick, expectant look. You knew the routine by now—he wanted you to lead.

He’d insisted on it from the start, claiming it was safer, though you’d never been entirely convinced. A few times, you’d tried to switch places, hanging back to keep an eye on his back. But each time, he’d glanced over his shoulder every few seconds, his unease written in quick, silent looks that said, Get up here.

Eventually, you’d stopped fighting it, falling into the rhythm he’d set. It was easier than watching him practically break his neck to check on you every few steps.

There was something almost sweet about it, a kind of silent protectiveness you’d caught yourself thinking about more than once. But you’d always shaken it off just as quickly—this was about survival, after all.

Nothing more.

As you stepped out first, the wind stirred a broken sign on an old gas station up ahead, its faded letters barely readable. Moving quietly, you swept your gaze over the cracked concrete, dark windows, and twisted metal—every shadow a potential hiding place. Raiders, infected—it didn’t matter. You’d learned to stay vigilant, to read your surroundings like second nature.

The gas station loomed closer, dark and silent, and the air felt thick, weighted. You tightened your grip on your knife, every nerve alert. And even now, without turning, you could feel Joel’s gaze on you, fixed and ready, trusting you to lead but always prepared to step in if needed.

You eased open the door, and the little shop bell above jingled sharply, shattering the silence. You winced, instinctively glancing back at Joel, who fixed you with one of those stern looks that seemed to say everything without a single word. You mouthed, What? as if you had any say in the bell hanging there. He just shook his head, giving a quick gesture for you to keep moving.

The gas station was a relic from another world, frozen in time. The air hung thick with dust and stale, long-forgotten scents. Every shelf wore a layer of grime, and faded signs advertised snacks and drinks that hadn’t been stocked in years. You and Joel swept through the space in silence, checking for any lurking danger before easing up slightly, letting yourselves relax just enough to take in the scene.

You moved slowly, scanning each shelf with eyes trained to spot anything useful. Most of it had been picked clean long ago—torn-open packaging and discarded wrappers marking the hurried visits of those who’d come before you. Still, you continued your search, hoping some overlooked scrap might still be hiding among the debris.

You found yourself wandering into the magazine aisle, eyes catching on a rack filled with faded covers, each magazine a window to a lost world. The glossy pages once held glimpses of celebrity gossip, fashion, sports, news—details from lives people used to care about. It was strange to think of a time when you could pick up a magazine, sink into a chair, and read, unbothered by the weight of survival.

Shaking the thoughts away, you made your way toward the back room, pushing open the door. Inside, it was chaos. Torn sleeping bags, empty food cans, and scattered belongings littered the floor. It was clear that people had stayed here, leaving pieces of their lives behind in a hurry. You stepped over the debris, wondering about them—the strangers who had once huddled in this cramped room, just as desperate as you. Each item felt like a clue, a fragment of someone else’s survival, each as temporary as the lives that had passed through here.

You sifted through the mess, nudging aside tattered blankets and empty cans, until something caught your eye. Your breath hitched. No way.

Nestled under a pile of discarded clothes was an old Polaroid camera, scratched and battered, but unmistakable. You picked it up, heart thumping as you opened the film compartment—still a few shots left.

A smile tugged at your lips as your thumb traced the camera’s worn edges, the feel of it strangely comforting. You used to have one of these—your walls once covered with Polaroids of friends, family, frozen moments from a world that felt like a distant dream.

The thought of taking a picture, capturing even one still moment in this endless chaos, felt like a luxury you couldn’t resist. Carefully, you slipped the camera into your bag, casting a quick glance over your shoulder. Joel’s rules on “essentials only” echoed in your mind; you could almost hear that familiar, gruff tone reminding you of what mattered. But this felt worth the risk.

“Find anything?” Joel’s voice cut through the quiet, jolting you as you straightened up. You turned, giving a casual shake of your head. “No,” you murmured, but the way his gaze lingered told you he wasn’t entirely convinced. He’d grown attuned to your every tell over the past few months, as if he could read the slightest shift in your expression. He knew when you were lying, just like he’d picked up on the way you got a bit snappy when you were hungry or the way you got quiet and withdrawn when you were tired.

You could see his eyes narrow slightly, that small tic he had when he sensed something was off. He didn’t push, though, just let out a sigh and gave a slight nod, the silent acknowledgment that he knew you were keeping something back, even if he wasn’t going to press you on it.

“Alright, let’s go,” he said, his tone steady as he turned to lead the way back. You followed him out of the gas station, stepping carefully over broken glass and crumbling concrete, the weight of the camera tucked away in your bag a secret thrill you couldn’t quite shake.

A few days later you and Joel had stopped by an old, abandoned farmhouse. The building stood crooked and half-collapsed, but it provided some shelter and, thankfully, a well you’d managed to draw fresh water from. As the sun began to dip low in the sky, casting everything in a golden wash, you found Joel outside, seated on a weathered tree stump, quietly cleaning his rifle.

He looked up as you approached, his face softened by the fading light. You felt that familiar pull, the itch to capture this version of him—the one without his guard so firmly up, the rare glimpse of the man beneath the gruff exterior. Without overthinking it, you brought the Polaroid up, snapping the photo with a quick click and a whirl.

The sound broke through the quiet, and Joel looked up sharply, his brow furrowing. “What the hell are you doing?” His voice was a mix of surprise and irritation, but you only grinned, holding the photo as it developed.

“Just… keeping a memory,” you replied, lifting it slightly to see the faint outline of his figure slowly come to life on the film. The fading light, the rugged set of his face, the rifle in his hands—it was a glimpse of this strange, fractured world you’d both managed to carve out for yourselves.

Joel shook his head, letting out a deep sigh as he returned his focus to his rifle, muttering, “Where’d you get that thing?” You tensed, expecting a lecture, but he didn’t sound as mad as you’d thought he’d be. Instead, he glanced up, one eyebrow raised in faint amusement. “Wasting film on me, huh? Thought I told you to stick to the essentials.”

His tone was more resigned than scolding, and for a moment, you saw a flicker of softness behind that familiar gruffness.

“This is essential,” you shot back, tucking the photo carefully into your bag. He huffed but didn’t push it, a faint smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he refocused on his task. And as the last rays of sunlight slipped below the horizon, you felt the weight of that small photo, the tiny moment frozen forever in your pocket.

A few days later, you stopped by the edge of a forest, setting up a small camp as the sky turned dusky and violet. Joel had wandered off to gather more kindling, and you settled in by the fire, lost in thought as you stared at the flickering flames, letting the rare quietness sink into your bones.

Unbeknownst to you, Joel had returned, lingering a few paces away. He paused, watching as you sat by the fire, its glow casting soft shadows over your face and deepening the worry etched in your brow. There was something about the way you looked, as if you were carrying the weight of the world in silence—a moment he suddenly found himself wanting to keep, just like you had done with him.

Moving quietly, he crouched down, rifling through your bag with a muffled groan as he pulled out the Polaroid camera. He raised it, aimed, and snapped a photo before you even noticed he was there. The click was softened by the crackle of the fire, and as the image slid out, he quickly tucked it into his pocket, a quiet secret meant only for him.

He found himself drawn to the Polaroid more often than he’d like to admit. Most nights, after you’d fallen asleep, he’d sit alone by the dim light of the fire, turning the photo over in his hands. His thumb would trace the worn edges, lingering on the image, on the softness in your expression that he rarely saw during the daylight hours. There was something about it—a quiet reminder of who you were beneath the survival instincts and guarded walls, something gentle that you rarely let anyone else glimpse.

He couldn’t say why he held onto it so tightly, why he’d tucked it away like a small, fragile piece of something he didn’t quite deserve. But each time he looked at it, he felt an odd sense of peace, a warmth he hadn’t known in years, and a growing hope he barely understood.

It wasn’t until later, one day while packing up camp, that you noticed something unusual in Joel’s belongings—a corner of the Polaroid peeking out from his jacket pocket. Curiosity got the best of you, and you carefully tugged it free, turning it over. The image was slightly faded, but there you were, captured in that rare, quiet moment by the fire. Seeing yourself through Joel’s eyes was strange and unexpectedly tender—a side of you that looked softer, contemplative, even a little vulnerable.

It felt like a secret glimpse into what he saw when he looked at you, something he’d wanted to hold onto. And suddenly, you understood just how much he’d come to care, even if he’d never say it out loud.

When he caught you holding the photo, he stiffened, eyes narrowing as though ready to snatch it back, maybe grumble something about “minding your own business.” Instead, you raised an eyebrow, holding it up for him to see. “What’s this?” you asked, feigning casual curiosity.

He shifted his gaze, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck, clearly uncomfortable. “Oh, that?” he muttered, attempting nonchalance. “Just thought… you looked nice. Pretty, I guess.”

The words hung in the air, simple but disarming, unraveling you in a way you hadn’t expected. Pretty. You’d forgotten what it felt like to be seen like that—to be noticed in a way that was more than survival, more than function. In his gruff, awkward way, Joel had reminded you that there was still a part of you worth noticing, worth remembering.

You felt your cheeks warm, a flicker of something both comforting and terrifying sparking in your chest. You held the photo close to your chest, feeling a warmth spread beneath the morning chill. Carefully, you slipped it into your bag alongside the picture you’d taken of him, keeping them together.

Neither of you spoke, but a quiet understanding settled between you, a small truce in a world that rarely left room for moments like these.

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mostly-functional · 2 months ago

Text

I just realized that Edwin might be the only human (or human-adjacent entity) who actually knows how Charles died.

Throughout the show, Charles never actually says what happened. We as the audience only know because of the Night Nurse’s flashbacks. He never even alludes to the fact that he was murdered.

Even the bullies responsible wouldn’t really know how Charles died. They weren’t there for his last few hours. I mean, I’m sure that they put it together that they killed him, but they had no real way of knowing the details. Edwin says that the school covered everything up, so I’m assuming there was never an investigation or an autopsy. And Charles’ parents must not have opened an investigation either because we know his death was never solved. I’m not a lawyer or anything, but I feel like it would be a fairly easy investigation if anyone was actually trying.

Even Charles himself might not know exactly how he died. He didn’t even know he was dying until it happened. Hypothermia is pretty easy to figure out, but did he know about the internal bleeding? He kept insisting he was fine every time Edwin asked. I think that means he didn’t put it together.

Edwin, on the other hand, would have known. He knew Charles was dying and he’s clever enough to know that it’s very hard to kill a healthy teenager through hypothermia alone.

And Edwin was the only one who saw everything. He saw the bullies and he was there when Charles actually died. He was there to witness everything.

I don’t know, I just think there’s something romantic about it. Charles hates being vulnerable, but Edwin saw him at his worst. There’s also something to be said for witnesses. Nobody else will ever truly know what it was like. Nobody else can understand. But Edwin can. He knows Charles in a way nobody else can and he loves him.

#and nobody else will ever know Edwin was there #that was a really important part of the whole thing #everyone else would say Charles died alone #but he didn’t #dead boy detectives #payneland #charles rowland #tw death

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moronkombat · 1 year ago

Note

How would the men of mk1 react if their partner ( s/o ) is about to die? like, if he/she is bleeding to death, IDK MAN I'M CURIOUS ☠️.

Screaming and exclaiming that it isn't your time to die, that it can't be your time to die

There's so much more you had to do, so many more conquests to be had. He's desperate and panicked, he looks wild and mad as he holds you in his arms, blood coating his hands

Kenshi is cold, freezing as he holds you and boiling crimson spills from your body. He tells you it will be alright and that help is on the way

He says this more to convince himself rather than convince you. You know the truth but he can't accept it. Tries to stop the bleeding with his hands, with anything he can find but it won't stop so he continues to fool himself into thinking you will pull through this even after you have breathed your last breath

Disbelief, shock. This can't be happening again. How could he have let this happen again? How could he have failed you?

He's begging you not to leave him. Syzoth pleads for you to stay with him and not to close your eyes no matter what. He can't lose you, he can't be alone again. He needs you, you can't leave

Almost can't believe it's happening. He laughs but it's not a typical one from him. It's empty, breaking apart

He tells you to get up, to stop playing games and fooling around. Havik begins demanding you move, you stand up but you don't, you can't and soon he is grabbing at his head and screaming. He can't process that he's losing you. This isn't supposed to happen

At a complete loss. He wants to believe what he is seeing an illusion, some nasty trick but this is reality

Believes he can save you. He just needs to use your blood to heal you but he can't no matter how hard he tries to wield it. It is not within his power to do so. Curses himself that he so weak, that he cannot save you from dying

Shang Tsung breaks. All that charm, all that wit is reduced to man who is desperate to save someone from death. It is an impossible task

He holds you, he calls to you. Shang Tsung cries over you as you bleed out in his arms. He mutters to himself that he will find a way to save you but it falls on deaf ears and soon he is thinking how can he bring you back

Devastated and begs for someone to come and save you. He pleads for help but there is none to come. He is helpless, he is powerless

Quan Chi vows to never be this powerless again. He promises to reclaim your soul and bring you back to him and never let you go again

Inconsolable. An absolute sobbing mess of a man. He apologizes over and over to you. He tells you that he hates how he couldn't protect you, how he failed you

Tomas cannot cope with the sight of you dying in his arms. Once so full of life now bleeding out and turning cold. He hates this, he wants to take your place but that is impossible. He has not the ability to change time

Tries to hold himself together and remain hopeful for you. He even tries to make a light joke about how it's just a scratch but the both of you know better

Soon he begins to cry and tell you that he's sorry. Raiden says he is not ready for you to go, that he wants more time with you. You two planned to see the world together but what was there left to see now except chilling death?

All that proud and tough guy facade he wears crumbles apart and now he pleading and desperate for you not to die. He swears and calls for help again and again but he knows there is no salvation coming

Kung Lao screams, holding you close as he curses the world and all of its gods. How could they have let you die? How could they have determined this to be your fate. He curses them again and again as blood continues to fall

All composure is gone. How could Bi-Han hope to remain steeled when the love of his life begins to die in his hands. He cries even when he tries not to

He holds you, looking at your expression as it pales. You're losing blood to quickly, he can't stop it. You're dying, you're going to die and he weeps and sobs. Bi-Han keeps you close even after your body has gone much colder than his own. He doesn't want to let you go. His brothers have to pull him away from your body

His sadness manifests through anger. He is raging, screaming and killing everything that is left in front of him. He will not rest until they are all dead

Shao will hold you but it's too late. You are gone and his hand falls and eyes close. He doesn't cry. Shao doesn't know how to shed tears but he is frozen and silent. No one dare approach him now

Although Geras knows death is a part of life, to see yours is destroying. He doesn't want it to happen, especially as he holds you close and watches you bleed out

He thinks for a moment about re-writing this moment but he knows he cannot. Geras must not be so selfish to twist time in order to bring back the most important person to him

Broken. Completely heartbroken. He had tried so hard to protect. Liu Kang had slaved over keeping you away from such a fate and even still death has found you

All he can do is hold you and look upon you as life quickly leaves you. He apologizes and tells you how this is his fault for not protecting you enough and for not keeping you safe

Kuai Liang is completely defeated. He feels as though he is doomed to lose all those who come into his life. All he cherishes seem to be taken from him

Silently cries but tries to smile as he holds your hand and tell you just how much he has loved you. He will always love you no matter what, nothing will ever stop that. When your body has become so cold, he still weeps and finally begins to sob

Never had he wanted to lose anyone else. His family, his way of life and now you too. Baraka feels as though he has been cursed by creation

Tries to stop the bleeding but he knows it is too late. Still, he tries and tells you to keep holding for just a bit longer. You do not have that time to spare and when your breath has left you, Baraka screams and wails

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luza-wayne · 5 months ago

Text

someone to protect.

himejima gyomei x reader

wc: 9.4k

a/n: i'm not so sure how to feel about this :||

himejima came out of the room with the meeting he just had with the corps leader that ended swiftly. he bowed one last time to ubayashiki before closing the door.

as he walks down the corridor of the house, he thinks back to what he and ubayashiki talk about.

“ah…” he groaned as he rubbed his palms together. “another newly appointed hashira.”

he was visiting the master when the latter brought up this new information. he was told that this new hashira eliminated the lower rank three of the twelve demon moons.

tears started to fall down his cheeks as usual.

“ah… i wish they wouldn’t die as easily.” he cries, his sensitive heart breaking just by the thought of his fellow slayer dying, even if they haven’t met yet.

meanwhile, you just arrived at the headquarters with the help of a kakushi leading the way for you. you were told by the kakushi to wait in the backyard, while he went to announce your arrival to the people in the house.

you know why you were here.

recently, you managed to kill the lower rank two.

whether it was luck or not that the sun came out as your stamina was running low from trying to keep him the demon from running away, the only thing you know is that your loathing for those disgusting monsters have gone up to the maximum level.

just thinking about them makes your hands shake with anger.

that same day you got the recognition for slaughtering the lower rank three was the same day you lost your closest friend.

the friend who you grew up with. that friend who was with you and helped you when a demon killed your only family, your father. that friend who joined the corps with you.

the friend who you promised to protect.

just to fail.

…

your mouth was open but no words were coming out of it. you watched in horror as her body slowly lost its strength.

“don't cry…” she muttered, slowly. she knows you don’t realize how much tears are coming out of your eyes, that your sclera is already turning red, the same color as her red-stained clothes.

your friend was lying on your arms, blood flowed out of the large wound the demon gave her when she almost beheaded it.

“d-don’t talk! help is on their way! just wait for a bit— i promise i won't let you die—” your eyes, disoriented from panicking, looked around to see if anyone's coming your way.

‘is there anything there that can stop her bleeding?! pressure! i should put pressure on the wound—’

your distraught mind stopped when you felt her hands, covered with blood, touch your cheek.

you looked into her already half closed eyes.

“no… pressure… let me apply—” you uttered, trying to ignore the tightness of your throat.

she shook her head.

“(y/n), it's too late for me…” she answered.

“no, just shut your mouth! i know help is on the way!” you shouted as you took off your haori and tried to tie it around her waist, trying to stop the blood from flowing out more. not noticing how your breaths became shorter and faster.

“please… just promise me one thing—” she started.

you held her hand on your cheeks and looked down at her.

“no! i’m not promising you anything! you better survive this! you haven't taught me yet how to make those mochi you always make! i still haven't found the demon who killed my father! you told me you'll help me with it! so you better survive!”

she smiled weakly at you. tears filled her eyes as she listened to you one last time.

“you have to survive… please… you're the only one i have left…” you whispered, your own tears falling on her cheeks.

“s-sorry…” she said and stopped to take another deep breath. “please… i'm sorry for leaving you all alone. please be happy…”

you sobbed as you nodded.

seeing your answer, she smiled. and her hands slowly slipped down from their touch on your cheeks, while her eyes slowly closed.

…

you shook your head. you felt your eyes get teary again and it snapped you out of your thoughts.

that kakushi said i should go to the back, right?

as you were walking to the backyard, you heard a noise coming from the shrub on the fence’s side. you immediately went into alert, ready to attack it if ever it's something that needs to be taken down at once.

you took your stance and were ready to sheathe your sword.

“nyaa~”

eh?

“a cat?” you muttered as you relaxed your body.

what am i doing getting all tense to a cat?

now that i think about it, that was too much reaction. it’s not like there will be demons at the headquarters. what’s more, the sun is out…

“...pfft—” you immediately covered your mouth and tried to hold yourself back from letting out a laugh.

you crouched down and held your hand out to the creature. you moved your fingers and tried to call the cat.

“come here.” you talked to it.

it meowed again before making its way to you. you peeked on its genitals and noted that it’s a male. he rubbed his face on your palm and you could hear his purrs. a small smile appeared on your lips.

“where did you come from?” you asked him, knowing he wouldn’t answer back except for a meow.

“are you a cat of the master?” you queried again before lifting the cat up and holding it close to your chest.

you examined him and he seems fine with no evident injury. you felt relieved.

“thank goodness you're not hurt or anything.” you whispered as you pulled him closer to you.

“please live safely.” you added, booping his nose.

the cat suddenly jumped out of your hold and ran away, vanishing from your view into a corner.

“(y/n)-sama, this way please.” the kakushi with you earlier suddenly spoke.

you stood and tidied up your uniform.

“yes.” you answered before following them.

“nyaa~”

“oh?” himejima uttered when the cat meowed his way. he knelt down and offered his arms to the cat.

the cat immediately jumped onto him.

“were you finished talking to that person?” he asked the feline who became fascinated by the sound that his prayer beads are making with his every move.

she must be the new hashira. he thought to himself.

as he pets the cat, he smiles to himself.

at the very least, she seems to be kind from the way she treated this cat. i wish her all the best and hope she survives long.

when his kakushi guide arrived, he left the place carrying the cat that was a stray one when he was on his way to the headquarters.

…

it’s been seven months.

seven months ever since you’ve been posted in your jurisdiction. you did your best to protect the people from where you were assigned.

you got to admit, with protecting them and having to be always alert that a demon might appear suddenly at night during your patrol helped get some thoughts off of your mind.

but, it will make you never forget the hatred you feel for every demon.

every time you encounter one, at the back of your mind you're thinking that maybe not all demons are like that, only for that thought to be shattered once you hear how they explain with no remorse that eating human flesh is delicious and that they'll always choose to be demon even in their next life.

it makes your skin crawl with disgust that you even gave them a bit of compassion. you regret even thinking that they might be different from others.

you hate them.

you loathe them.

you won't forgive them for killing all your beloved ones.

you won't let even one of these revolting creatures escape your blade. you swore to kill the one who took your father's life with this blade.

it's dawn and you just woke up. you sleep during the day as demons are more active during the night, so you as a hashira should be too.

after getting ready, you immediately head out of your house that you bought after receiving your first pay as a hashira.

you also took in two tsuguko.

they helped you out maintaining the large place. one of them is just waiting for the final selection to take place and become an official part of the corps, while the other one has just started training.

watching them two puts a smile on your face.

they're such great students. it makes you feel proud just thinking about them becoming the best swordsman they can be.

also, worried and scared. scared that they might end up with the same fate as your best friend.

but, you trust them.

and you can't deny the fact that might happen to you too, today, tomorrow, next week, or soon.

“master, please be careful!” your younger tsuguko waved goodbye to you.

“please come back home to us in one piece!” the older one said.

they looked at each other and smiled widely.

“please bring some dangos too!” they said in unison.

you chuckled and waved back to them while walking out of the house.

“okay, okay. i won’t forget. i'll leave the house to you.” you told them and headed out.

it’s been just months but they’ve become attached to you already.

your older disciple, akiro, was a kid whose sole family left was killed by a demon. the massacre of his family happened around the time when you weren't a hashira yet and was stationed to a different place. you found him, four days after getting the highest rank, aimlessly walking around the town with nothing but his torn clothes from fighting and escaping the demon.

who knows how long he must've been walking around without thinking?

you took him to your rented house during that time. he asked you why you were helping him, and you answered him, it's just natural.

when you bought your current house, he suddenly walked up to you with teary eyes and thanked you for everything you did for him, thinking that you're done taking care of him and was about to leave him.

you laughed when you heard it, immediately replied saying that he's welcome but you never told him you're moving alone.

he was delighted to hear it, seeing how his face lit up brought a smile to your lips.

when he regained his strength and health back, he asked you to teach him about demons and how to kill them. asking him the reason for wanting to learn it, he replied that he wanted to take revenge for his family member.

it pained your heart a bit. of course, just like you, it’s not easy to forget something like that. but you gave him what he wanted and took him as your first tsuguko.

the younger one, kenji, was a feisty one when you first met him. finding him trying to survive alone in the mountain with nothing but his make-shift weapons and his own built house made of branches of trees and large leaves.

when you spotted his hideout, you thought it was a trap made by a demon in order to catch humans, but when you turned around, you saw him carrying a bundle of woods, to keep him warm for the night.

you asked him what he's doing there and he candidly answered that he lives there. he said that he ran away from his abusive mother after his beloved father died and started living on his own because no one else would take in another mouth to feed.

you know you couldn’t leave a 12-year-old boy alone in the woods. you’re surprised that he wasn’t targeted by the demons yet, but you wouldn’t wait for it to happen first before you act.

you told him that he shouldn’t live there because there could be demons lurking around and that you’ll guide him back to his house. suddenly, a sharp pointed staff almost shoots past your face, you manage to easily dodge it.

you looked at him and flinched at the mixed look of fear and hate in his eyes. you were wrong for that, you didn’t process what he said earlier and stepped on mine. you apologized to him and just as you were about to speak again, you heard the growling of a demon about to jump at the two of you.

it was just a low-grade demon, so you immediately dealt with it with ease. but, your every slash bore your deep hatred with them as they cut through its neck. when you looked back at him, you told him that this is the reason why he can’t stay there. he was hesitant to come with you, but you promised him that you won’t bring him back to his mother.

your older disciple welcomed him and he slowly warmed up to his new found older brother.

they are now getting along just fine. the older one became comfortable and is now a reliable one and the younger one’s now a cheerful and healthy kid.

watching them fills your heart with fuzziness and you vow to protect them with everything you could until they become full-fledged swordsmen.

…

you started your patrol around the area, once you didn't really get any order to eradicate a demon or investigate a suspicious case from your crow.

speaking of your crow, it went to the headquarters to get some new information and order from the master and still hasn't come back.

well, based on the time my crow arrives after sending her off is long, i can assume that the headquarters might be far from my place.

guess i'll just have to be alert and patrol around.

it was past midnight already and fortunately you’re not feeling anything suspicious or any presence of a demon.

*caw. caw.*

your eyebrows furrowed when you heard a crow, you turned your head and saw it coming your way. it was your crow finally arriving after a long trip from the headquarters to your jurisdiction.

you raise your arms to her to rest on and she immediately tells you what the leader has told you.

“the master would like to say that the monthly report for hashira’s will be happening next weekend. please be ready.” she started.

you nodded, reaching for her seed bag that you keep on you. you grabbed a fistful of seeds and thanked her for doing all of that.

“also, order! order! you are to collaborate with another hashira tomorrow in a forest that borders both of your assigned regions. lots of lower rank slayers have lost their lives! investigate and kill the demons!”

she added and ate her seeds as soon as she finished.

another hashira? who might it be?

i’m not familiar with the rest of hashira's. i’m only talking to kanae and then the rest’s name is all i know.

that aloof looking guy, giyuu. that loud sound hashira, uzui. that one guy who made a scene in the last meeting, i think his name was shigazunawa?

and that one big guy who always cries…

hi… himejima?

that guy’s always crying, but when i tried talking to him last time as he was the first one to arrive and i came after, he stood in front of me and put his large hands on top of my head and he suddenly prayed.

what was that?

i just stayed silent because i don’t want to be rude to someone older than me, but that was weird. thankfully, kanae arrived shortly after.

i hope he’s not the one i’m working with tomorrow.

…

great.

as you’re running on the entrance of the forest that your crow has led you to, you could already see himejima’s gigantic body from afar.

you sped up your run and stopped in front of him.

“good evening, himejima-san.” you greeted him, you bowed to him thanking him for waiting for you.

you’re here to slay numerous demons tonight. just thinking about the countless people that died in this place makes your eyes rage with anger and contempt for those atrocious monsters.

as you were raising your head, you felt his hands on the top of your head yet again.

you were about to ask what he’s doing when he started his chants. you wanted to groan in disbelief, but you can’t.

“let’s go.” he uttered as soon as he was finished and started walking towards the forest.

“yes…” you replied and fixed your hair.

seriously, what was that for?

as the two of you walk through the dark, eerie forest, himejima leads the way. the moon was supposed to be your only light, but just your luck, it’s really cloudy tonight.

you were astonished as to how he easily perceives the structure of his surroundings and the things in front of him.

you weren’t even thinking when you suddenly talked to him.

“himejima-san, it’s amazing. y— you can easily navigate through this forest.” you complimented, realizing in the middle of the sentence that your mouth was speaking your mind, but just decided to follow through.

“mhm. i have a hearing that i enhanced in order to live normally in this world.” he answered, without stopping his feet. “you seemed to have hesitated in continuing your sentence. i can hear that you didn’t mean to say those words out loud.” he added.

he has good hearing, he said? maybe he’s using it like echolocation? or is it really echolocation?

he suddenly stopped walking that alerted you.

you immediately went into a fighting stance, ready to cut up every single of those sickening creatures that might show up out of nowhere.

“a single thought of a demon makes your thoughts in disarray. your hatred for them is reflecting with your every move, yet it’s holding you back at the same time.” himejima blurted out, not moving an inch from where he was.

“what?” you asked him, with an annoyed face.

“(y/n),” he turned his body halfway and faced you. “your hatred for them is holding you back.”

his words strike a nerve in you. you knew he wouldn’t be able to see your offended face, so you had to use your words.

“i’m sorry, himejime-san, but what do you know about me and the things that i experienced? you’re being extremely rude for our first work together, don’t you think?” you refuted, releasing your hold on your katana grip.

she’s upset. himejima noted in his mind.

“i’m sorry for that. i didn’t mean to upset you.” he apologized.

you were still a bit offended by what he said, but knowing that you can’t move freely in this darkness and he can, you knew arguing with him is not the wisest thing to do.

“i see.” you replied and looked away.

he smiled. he knew it wasn’t a genuine reply from you, but he was at fault here, so didn’t pried more.

he continued walking to where he could feel the presence of the demons.

he also realized that should’ve chosen a friendlier topic to strike up the conversation. he didn’t want to make the first collaboration with the hashira that he’s most interested in awkward, so he tried continuing the talk.

and he did so lousily by mentioning that insight he had about you being hateful to the demons.

after the first time he ever heard her talking to the cat, he was always praying that his crow would not come to him and report that this fellow hashira died in the middle of completing a mission.

especially when you said those words to the cat, he felt like he needed to always keep a close look at you or else you could lose yourself.

it might’ve been just imagination and self-interpretation, but still. still, he was joyful when you attended the monthly meeting of hashiras for the sixth consecutive time.

he then remembered something kanae told him last meeting.

“how are your tsugukos doing?” he asked, hoping that this time it’s the right topic.

“my tsugukos?” you repeated.

he was right on the target. he could hear how your heart skips a beat with excitement when he mentions them. it was like you forgot that you were angry at him in the first place.

she must’ve cherished them so much.

“mhm. tell me about them.” he replied, smiling while walking straight.

huh? what kind of information does he want me to tell them? uhh…

“they said they want me to bring some dangos on my way home again. i bought them some yesterday and they really liked it.” you revealed.

“yeah. dangos are delicious.” he replied briefly.

“...”

is that what he wanted to hear or not? why isn’t he saying something?

walking in complete awkwardness, you decided to talk more about your disciples.

“well, you see. my youngest one is still training his swordsmanship, but i can definitely tell. he’ll be a much greater swordsman than i am. he told me he’ll wait until he’s 15 years old and then participate in the final selection. my oldest one is just waiting for the final selection to happen. he’s a great swordsman too, but his quick decision thinking and ability to apply them into action is his edge— ah.” you suddenly realized how much you were talking and got carried away. “sorry, i said too much.” you continued.

“no, i don’t mind.” he comforted you.

“oh, thank you.”

the walk was a bit quiet for a moment. himejima was contemplating whether it’s good to bring up something he noticed, or just let the conversation end there.

he risked it.

“but, when you mention the final selection. i can hear you’re a bit worried.” he said, hoping that you won’t get mad again.

instead, he heard your chuckles.

“your acute hearing sure is a bad match-up for those who want to keep their secrets, aren’t they?” you laughed.

“you’re right. i was the one who trained them and refined them to be the greatest swordsman that they could. but, deep in my heart… i’m always thinking twice whether to let them participate there or not. the exam is dangerous. unless you’re ready to give everything you got and throw everything away at the same time, you won’t survive there. i know it well because i experienced it too with my friend. she was the only reason i managed to endure those grueling seven days. if it wasn’t for her, i would’ve given up right on the first day.” you babbled.

his short hums and nods tell you that he was listening intently to all of it.

“i know my two students are different from me. they’re not the type to give up on the first day, but i still can’t help but to get worried. i’m scared that they won’t be back on the morning of the eighth day. but, i also don’t want to stop them from their ambitions. i also want them to achieve their dreams and reach their goals, so i won’t stop them. i’ll protect them until they reach it. i know they’ll make me proud, just like how i am proud of them.” you finished with a smile on your face, thinking about the moment when you welcomed them back once they passed the exam.

you look up at himejima and he was looking back at you with a smile, even though you can only see white in his eyes, you know his smile is pure and genuine.

“i’m sure they are also proud to have you as their teacher.” he replied.

your eyes widened as you felt your chest get excited.

“r-really?” you sheepishly said as you looked away.

you know he couldn’t see your face getting pink, but you just can’t help it.

why is he smiling so softly like that? i’ve never seen him even crack a smile before. it’s weird that i’ve seen this guy cry first and smile next.

preoccupied with your thoughts, you suddenly bumped on his muscular back when you didn’t notice that he suddenly stopped walking.

“there’s a demon coming.” he announced.

alerted, you immediately grabbed your sword. you took your fighting stance ready to face any demon that may come from any direction.

“behind.” himejima uttered, which you quickly responded to.

“got it.”

you quickly turned around and found a demon lurking up a tree. once he made eye contact with you, he immediately jumped at you.

“whoo! another female with that clothes! i’m so lucky these days! keep coming!” he shouted as he tried to slash you with his sharp claws.

you kept your stance.

once he entered your reach, you drew your blade and used your breathing.

the water breathing was originally your style, but as time passes you upgraded and turned it to ice breathing. you’re still rough around the edges as sometimes, your body subconsciously uses one of the techniques from the water breathing.

you managed to finish him off with one technique. his body plops on the ground, while his head tumbled next to a tree.

“huh?” he muttered, failing to realize that he had been beheaded.

he watched as his body slowly turned into ashes. his eyes enlarged, his teeth grinding against each other. he moved his focus to the two hashiras talking.

“your breathing is indeed fascinating. it’s promising.” himejima praised.

“thank you so much. i’m still getting used to it, but i’m working hard on it.” you replied, putting back your sword into its hilt.

“i look forward to it, (y/n). i hope i’ll be there when you finally master that intriguing breathing.” he said and was about to start walking deeper into the woods.

the two heard the demon who's in the middle of incineration, growling his words towards you.

“argh! damn! i can't believe i got beheaded by this mere woman! die!” he uttered, the veins in his eyes almost popping from anger.

you looked down on his head and stared at him with a disgusted face.

“this mere woman didn't even break a sweat in beheading you.” you said, “hurry up and die, demon.”

just conversing with this creature makes your skin crawl with revolt. you turned your head in front and was about to take a walk, when he said something that grabbed your attention.

“ugh! kokumo-sama’s waiting for my hunt tonight!” he intoned, looking desperate and scared. “he’s going to kill me if i don’t present him something! he’ll get mad and report me to that guy!” he added.

huh? ‘kokumo’? did i hear that right?

suddenly, himejima felt it again. the same sound coming from your heart that he heard when he saw you tonight.

he turned around to see you, frozen with a shocked look on your face.

you turned your heel to the demon, walking to him without wasting any time. you grabbed his rough hair and pulled it up until his eyes were on the same level as yours.

“now… what did you just say…? who’s waiting for your hunt…?” your words, chopped yet firm.

you never broke eye contact with him. your orbs are staring at him as if you could see even his past life as a human.

this demon was on the verge of mental breakdown, scared that he might be killed for not offering a human flesh but then realized that dying would mean he’ll be free from the fear from both kokumo and that guy, kibutsuji.

he thought that even with all the humans he killed and ate, he’s given the chance to have a peaceful passing on.

yet, here you are. glaring at him with such cold and hateful eyes.

he felt shivers down his spine, even though it’s decapitated already. even kokumo never looked at him with this much spite.

“i— i…” he stutters, “k… kokumo…” he finally answers.

“red haori.” you said, he nodded.

“vertical line marks from his eyes downwards...” he nodded.

“... lower rank 5.”

he shook his head sideways.

“no… lower rank… 2… now…” he corrected you.

you were right.

not only were he still alive, he even advanced in ranks. he moved up to the position of the demon that you killed with your best friend.

you stood up, still carrying his head in your hand. you raised your arms and asked him.

“where is he?” you questioned.

you completely ignored himejima’s presence. you didn’t have time to think about him while your reopened deep abomination towards that particular demon.

the incineration reached the demon’s jaw and mouth that he couldn’t answer your question. you looked at his body and saw that hands had turned into ashes already.

“damn! use your goddamn eyes and tell me where he is!” you shouted and grabbed his face with your other hand.

“where is he?!” himejima was surprised, not only by the volume, but with the shakiness driven by hate in your voice. he walked to you and held you by your shoulder. only to be brushed off by you almost immediately.

“tell me where he is!” you shouted again to the demon with trembling eyes.

finally, he moved his eyes. he looked over your shoulder, 5 o’ clock from your position.

without wasting any moment, you threw his head away and started running to where he told that demon was.

with no choice left, himejima decided to follow you.

he knew you couldn’t see that much in this darkness and he was right. you stumbled, tripped and everything, but you never stopped running. you will not until you find that demon.

earlier, he noted how the sound your body emits was in disarray. just like how it is every time he meets you. he thought chanting a calming prayer for you would work, but he knows it’s only temporary.

every time a demon enters your mind, you immediately feel hate and repulsion. your hatred for them is so deep and it was engraved in every cell.

you were not the type to talk about your past, so kocho couldn’t tell much to him about what happened to you that made you hate demons this much.

sure, everyone in the corps despised them too. but, he wanted to know the reason for your feelings. that must’ve been the reason why he’s always watching over you and searching for your presence during the monthly meetings.

though, now’s not the time to ask for the reason.

right now, he can hear how disturbed your mind is. your breaths are short and fast. you're so focused on reaching the destination, that you couldn’t hear him calling for you.

“(y/n), slow—” before he could even finish what he was saying, you stopped running.

he tried to feel his surroundings. he’s sure that there is a demon close by, maybe the reason why you stopped.

meanwhile, your eyes narrowed in annoyance. in front of you is a demon who’s out to hunt, not the person you’re looking for.

you unsheathed your sword and immediately pounced on her.

“don’t get in my way!” you screamed while running towards her and slashing her neck.

not even sparing her decapitated body a glance, you continued running forward. himejima was calling for your name multiple times while still following your trails, yet it never reaches your ears.

i’m going to kill him!

that demon who took my father’s life!

these thoughts filled your mind while running past trees.

you’ve met with three more demons, but it only added to your exasperation seeing that they’re not the demon you wanted to see.

it’s actually not just three. himejima fought demons that were coming from different directions. you were so focused in front of you that you weren’t paying attention to your surroundings except for what's ahead of you.

during your interaction with the last demon, there were a lot of demons. himejima got so tangled up in defeating every last one of them, that he just saw you back still running straight in that direction.

he had no choice but to leave your side for a while, even if it put his heart in a nervous state.

he wanted to protect you, not because he thinks you're weak and does not have the ability to protect yourself, but because right now, you’re in a complete mess. he’s afraid you might not make a sound decision because of your emotion and then find you lifeless there.

with the amount of his co-slayers dying left and right, the thought of you dying is what he hates the most.

he doesn’t understand it too, but maybe the excitement and him looking forward to every monthly report meeting and, especially, the giddy feeling he felt when you arrived tonight and he realized that you two will work together is connected to it.

yet, here you are, you ran and ran, until you reached a spot where a huge boulder was in the middle of the trees.

there, a demon was sitting on top of the rock. sitting cozily there while around him was a pile of human flesh, probably from other demons that offered him their hunt in order to not be killed.

red haori…

vertical lines from his eyes downwards…

and…

lower rank 2…

ahh…

suddenly, it’s all coming back to me.

“(y/n), run! i’ll distract him!” “what are you doing? i told you to run!” “this is not the time to be stubborn, (y/n)! run!” “huh? your legs?” “please, just bear with it for a while and run!” “okay, thank you for listening one last time…”

the demon notices your presence. he looked down and saw a demon slayer catching up to her breath and looking rather nastily towards him.

“now, now…” he muttered, changing his position and leaning forward. “it’s been a while since i’ve seen an alive human here that’s not an offering.”

i’m going to kill this disgusting trash. you thought as you went and jumped close to him without even thinking.

naturally, he managed to read your move and kicked you on your stomach. your body came flying back, earning you a few scratches and small open wounds.

you struggled to stand up as you held your sword firmly and looked at him.

he stood up too and effortlessly jumped down the boulder. he took his time walking close to where you were.

you stayed on your feet, glaring and pointing your blade at him.

“you did well managing to come here without serious injury—” he suddenly halted his movements and took a good look at your face. “well, well. i might be wrong, but we’ve met before, right?”

you narrowed your eyes.

he then laughed maniacally.

“a few years ago, a parent and his child were peacefully living in a small house.” he started to narrate.

“when one night, a demon arrived and ruined their lives!” his hands were moving in the air in a dramatic way, along with his facial expression.

“but! he was a devoted father! he doesn’t want to lose another one of his family, just like what happened with his wife…” he continued, yet this caught your attention.

how…?

“that’s why he had to distract the demon while his injured daughter ran away.” he glanced at you and smirked.

“he was left alone with the demon without knowing he was the demon’s real target! your father’s a marechi after all!” he revealed.

you widened your eyes, promptly you went and attacked him with one of your breathing forms.

but, he was able to deflect it.

of course, he’s not like those demons you killed on your way here. this guy is at the top of the chain here. what’s more is that he’s second rank in the lower moon.

“how did you know about my mother going missing?” you asked him.

he tilted his head in confusion and sighed.

“gosh… you’re not that good up here, are you?” he said, pointing to his temple. looking at you with a pitiful expression.

“what?!” you refuted, burrowing your brows together.

“how did i learn about it? who else would know but the victim themselves, witnesses and… the culprit.” he grinned widely.

“i mistook your mother as the one who had a marechi blood, but when i came back the next evening. it turned out that you moved somewhere else to look for your missing mother that was already in my stomach! hahaha! thankfully, i was able to find your father again. i didn’t care about you, so that was the only reason you’re still alive right now.”

your sight almost turned blurry.

she wasn’t missing nor did she run away because she got tired of living a poor life. it was this thing in front of you who took her away from you and your father.

my mother…

my father…

this demon took my family from me…

i’m going to kill him.

i’m going to kill him!

your body moved on its own. you closed your distance and tried to cut his neck, but to no avail. you failed to cut him down, because he hardened his neck.

your blade and his hard body exchanged blows. yet, it seems like you’re the only one taking the damage.

your attacks, though surely were supposed to be strong, were affected by your rapid and reckless spontaneous decision. it was erratic and weaker in force.

but, that didn’t mean he would hold back with his attack against you.

in such a short time, not even five minutes passed, you were covered with bruises and injuries. not that you had even the smallest amount of attention to look at it.

as you were blown away by his punch, you immediately got on your feet and tried to unleash another technique.

he must admit that even though it’s evident that you’re not thinking straight, your attacks are still affecting him.

until, he chanted the words ‘blood demon art’.

ah… that’s right, he still hasn’t used it. even though i’m beat up already. but, i can’t stop my body.

i don’t want to stop.

the only thing on my mind is wanting to see his head separated from his body.

i want to avenge my parents.

i don’t care if i wound up dead, as long as i manage to do it.

“blood demon art: countless projectiles.” he said and numerous long, black lines like the ones on his came appeared.

they moved towards you at an unbelievable speed.

nevertheless, your body was on auto-pilot. you still moved forward and still wanted to cut his head.

i don’t care anymore.

“(y/n)!”

suddenly, himejima appeared in front of you deflecting all the attacks coming at you. somehow, it irked you.

“heh… someone capable arrived.” kokumo muttered, smirking.

“please move aside, himejima-san. i’ll kill that demon myself. don’t get in my way.” you claimed and stepped forward.

himejima tried to analyze your condition.

you were breathing heavily and it seems like every inhale is hard to do. he could hear the faint gushing sound of your blood coming out of every wound you have.

“i’m sorry, there were a lot more demons here than i thought and they stalled me.” he explained, but you didn’t respond.

“(y/n), i’ll take it from here—”

“i said i’ll kill that demon myself!” you turned your head to him, glaring at his face. “i don’t care if i die as long as he dies too!”

before he could even reply to you, you took off and charged at kokumo one more time.

kokumo released another attack, with nothing but death on the demon in front of you in your mind, you failed to recognize his plan.

you were surrounded by almost infinite numbers of projectiles. there’s no way you could dodge all of them.

“die!” kokumo exclaimed proudly.

i’m done.

you closed your eyes to brace yourself on getting punctured by the projectiles, but it never came.

you decided to open your eyes and found kokumo turning around as he just realized where you were. you looked up and saw himejima and his side profile as he carried you in a bridal style. he set you down and leaned your back on the boulder’s surface.

he managed to cancel his attacks in such a short time. you thought as he wiped some of the blood on your face. you wondered how he knew there was blood on your face, but you can’t question him about something like that right now.

“why are you throwing your life away so easily like that?” he said under his breath, you almost didn’t hear him. he looked rather sad rather than upset.

“it’s my life. i’ll decide when i’m throwing my life away or not.” you replied and looked at kokumo who’s getting more irritated that he’s having a hard time already with you and now someone who’s a lot stronger came. “and right now, i’m willing to throw it away as long as i kill that bastard.” you added.

you were about to stand up once again when you saw kokumo pounce on where you two were, but himejima stopped you.

“stone breathing second form: upper smash.” he attacked.

he managed to hit kokumo when he threw his spiked flail upwards and pulled the chain rapidly to create a force once it hit its target. he also threw his axe and was able to cut deep through his left chest across his right chest. this caused kokumo to jump backwards as he heals himself from wounds that the spikes gave him.

“don’t get in my way, himejima-san! i’ll be the one killing him!” you shouted as you shakily stood up. using your hand by holding on to the boulder to balance your body, while your other hand is still firmly held on your sword.

himejima didn’t say anything, he didn’t look back at you. the sound of his chains getting dragged back to him was the prominent sound that you heard at that moment.

“do you not treasure your life?” he asked.

why does he keep getting in my way and asking me that? i already told him earlier that he doesn’t know anything about what i experienced and leave me alone!

fine!

“my family has been killed by that guy. my best friend was also killed by the former lower rank 2. i’ve been left alone because of these demons and you’re asking me if i treasure my life?!” you snapped at him, not noticing how your tears gathered around your eyes.

“everyone that i cherished has been killed and taken away from me already! i don’t care anymore! i don’t want—” your tears have started falling.

your emotions pouring out like an overfilled cup, but his next question left you speechless.

“aren’t your tsugukos waiting for the dangos?” he uttered, shifting his body to you.

“huh?”

it seems like your world has stopped spinning. you stood there silently with wide eyes.

my tsugukos…

akiro… kenji…

“master, this dango’s really delicious!” “you should try some, master!” “hey! kenji! that’s mine!” “eh? master wanted to eat some too!” “why would you get it from me then?” “i already ate all of mine. i can give this to master, right, ‘akiro-niisan’?” “tsk. go ahead. just know it’s not because you called me ‘nii-san’.” “yeah, yeah.”

“master, please be careful on your mission today!” “get back to us in one piece. i’ll take care of kenji here, so don’t worry.” “and, please bring some dango again, hehe!”

your knees suddenly gave up, you sat on the ground, staring at the bracelet that they both made for you. they jokingly said that it will protect you because they made it, but still you wore it. because of the same reason.

they made it. for you.

kokumo finished healing himself and tried to use his projectiles again, but himejima, before kokumo finished his attack, flung his chain and chopped one of kokumo’s legs. he fell down and hid himself using a fort that he built with his blood demon art right there and then. at least, himejima knew that he wouldn't run away.

“you said…” himejima started. you raised your head and looked at him with blurry eyes caused by tears. “...that you’ll protect them until they achieve their goals and dreams.”

you shook your head in denial, wanting to refute what he was about to say but no words came out of your lips.

the picture of akiro and kenji seeing your crow arrive and thinking you’re back. but, then breaking down in tears once they’ve heard your passing kept replaying in your mind.

“are you going to throw away your life knowing your students are waiting patiently for your return and they welcome you back like always?” he asked, grabbing the chance that kokumo is hiding himself and walked to you.

he kneeled down on his one foot in front of you.

“no! no!” you finally spoke, bawling. you grabbed ahold of his green haori and looked up at him.

“i don’t want them to suffer! i don’t want them to feel hurt again! i don’t want them to be abandoned yet again! they’re finally happy and smiling! i don’t want to see them crying again! they’re my only salvation left here in this world! i don’t want them to be left again.” you sobbed as you snuggled your face on his chest.

his large hands landed on your hair and back, pushing you closer to him providing you comfort and ease.

but, the picture of them crying wasn't leaving your mind.

i’m sorry… i’m sorry… i’m not going to throw my life carelessly anymore…

i’ll be home later with the dangos that you two wanted, so wait for me.

you pulled away from him and wiped your face. you were still sniffing, but you were sure it wouldn’t be in the way of your breathing technique.

“i’m fine now.” you told him and he just nodded.

he stood up and stepped backwards. you looked at him when you saw him do that. you glanced at him with a confused look.

“i won’t get in your way anymore.” he said with a small smile.

“why?” you questioned, not understanding why now.

“i’m not hearing that your mind is in disarray anymore. you can do it.” he encouraged and clasped his hand together again.

you smiled.

i see. so that’s why…

you looked at kokumo, he just removed the fort he made. with an enraged face, he chanted his art technique yet again.

but, you didn’t care. not even when you’re injured and full of wounds. you closed your distance with him. when you calculated the right distance, you stopped walking.

originally, my ice breathing had only four forms. it’s a breathing that only i used, so it’s hard to make forms.

but, i have this attack in my mind. i never executed it, even in practice, but i’m getting a feeling that i can do it.

“ice breathing fifth form: complete stillness”

it was a technique that makes the surroundings around you, with a certain distance, frozen. this makes them immobilized for three seconds.

but those three seconds are just what you need.

i’m sorry, my dear best friend, mom, and dad.

i always thought that once i kill this guy, i’ll join you there. but, it seems like i won’t be able to now.

you see, i have two children looking forward to my return.

i’m sorry and thank you for being my will to live. i’ve found another reason to continue living too.

kokumo’s head rolled on the ground and his body soon fell over, but just as you. the exhaustion finally caught up to you.

the difference between your body and kokumo’s is that his body fell flat on the dirty soil, while yours was immediately caught by himejima, carrying your body in a bridal style yet again.

you tried to open your eyes, you barely managed to. when you saw himejima’s face, you smiled brightly.

“himejima-san…” you called with half-lidded orbs.

“hm?” he hummed, gazing down at you. after he checked that kokumo’s body had started turning into ashes, he started walking out of the forest.

“i killed him… without dying…” you said proudly.

“you’re right. i’m relieved we’re going out of this forest both alive. you did so well. i’m proud of you.” he complimented without skipping a beat.

something did skip a beat and it’s your heart. hearing his genuine compliment and relief, puts a blush on your cheeks even though your body is so tired.

what’s more is that you’re worried that his acute hearing caught that.

ugh, so embarrassing. i’ll just pretend to be asleep.

you rested your head on his shoulder and tried to make it seem like you’ve fallen asleep.

cute. himejima chuckled silently.

…

“master?” akiro uttered confusedly.

it was already dawn and they were both up. kenji heard what he said and excitedly went to the door to welcome you.

“eh?” he said, just as confused as the other boy.

himejima-san???

you still had your arms wrapped tightly around his neck, but this time out of embarrassment.

i didn’t think he would walk me back to my house while carrying me!

please put me down!

but, i can’t say it!

people are staring!

you peeked and tried to look if you were close to your house already. your crow did the work of guiding him to where your residence is, because you realized he’s going to carry you, so you hid your face.

you saw akiro and kenji on the front door with confused looks on their faces.

“h-himejima-san, we’re close to my house already, so you can put me down already. i’ll walk on my own now—”

“no. you hurt your feet in the fight, you’re not supposed to be walking.” he cut you off and continued walking.

he heard a conversation about their ‘master’, so he knew what direction he would be going.

he stopped right in front of them, looming over the two children with his enormous height. they were obviously frightened.

“p-please give us back our master.” akiro asked.

“what did you do to our master?!” kenji interrogated, while akira shielded him securely behind him.

akiro examined the man carrying you and noticed that he was wearing the same uniform as yours and his golden buttons.

you tapped on himejima’s back, signaling him to let you down. finally putting you down carefully, supporting your back as you get on your feet.

you looked over to akiro and kenji and smiled.

they were still confused, but slowly made their way to you.

you kneeled down. for their ages, they’re quite tall, making you gaze up at them. you opened your arms and pulled them into an embrace.

“i’m home…” you whispered, hugging them even tighter.

the two children were surprised, you’ve come home from missions, easy and perilous missions, but you never came home in this manner.

akiro was about to ask what happened when he heard you sniffle. he worriedly peeked at the younger one and was about to ask if he knew what’s happening, only to see him bawling already.

“wahhh! why are you crying, master?” he cried, snuggling his face on your clothes.

“mhm-mm.” you shook your head. you withdrew from the hug, but kenji didn’t want to let go, that’s why he continued hugging you.

“nothing. i’m just happy i was able to come back home.” you answered him, caressing his head.

you looked at akiro and put your hand over his cheeks lightly.

“akiro, where’s my ‘welcome back’?” you asked, chuckling softly.

he doesn’t understand it.

the reason why you came home crying, why you’re doing this, and why you’re being like this.

he doesn’t understand why it makes him feel relieved that you look like you’ve finally lifted off of the heavy weight on your back that you never talked about.

he doesn’t understand why you’re looking at them like your world is them.

he doesn’t understand why he feels so overwhelmed seeing you like this when he doesn’t even understand anything.

yet, he can’t stop his tears as you wait for him and stare at him tenderly.

“w… welcome back, master.” he welcomed finally as he nestled himself next to his brother.

you looked behind and met himejima, crying as usual, as he listened to the three of you.

“himejima-san. thank you for making me realize i have something to protect.” you thanked him, smiling and hoping he could hear your genuine grateful feelings.

he smiled, though tears continued flowing.

“no…” he replied smiling and suddenly remembered something.

“more importantly,” he lifted his hands and you laughed.

akiro and kenji looked up while wiping their tears and they suddenly lit up.

“shall we eat this now?” he raised the bag on his hands and inside are dangos that are waiting to be consumed.

“dango!” the two boys said in unison.

kenji ran to him and himejima gave him the bag. the boy happily cheered, completely forgetting how scared he was by the person in front of him earlier. himejima just ruffled his hair and kenji pulled him by his fingers to come inside the estate.

akiro helped you get up, you limped while walking and accidentally let out a hiss in pain. until, himejima once again carried you.

“himejima-san! i’m fine! oh gosh…” you said to him.

he raised his brow in confusion.

“you’re obviously not.” he muttered matter-of-factly.

“akiro—” you were about to say to akiro that you can just ask akiro to support you while walking, but the kid was not there anymore.

you looked at the front and he was there with kenji, who was delighted by the dango, and akira was giving you a teasing look.

that kid!

ugh… it’s so embarrassing!

it’s even more embarrassing knowing he can surely hear how fast my heart is thumping right now!

“me too…” he suddenly spoke.

you glanced up at him.

“thank you.” he thanked you.

“huh? why? i didn’t do anything though…” you were muddled by what he’s saying.

the corner of his lips moving upwards, it’s not visible but from your position, it’s easy to point out.

“i also realized that i have someone to protect outside of my responsibility as a demon slayer.” he said.

“huh?” i did that? “when did i—”

“for the next hashira meeting next week, i’m hoping for your presence there in a full condition.” he said while he set you down on the tatami floor.

akiro and kenji went to get silverwares to eat the dangos, leaving both of you alone in the living room.

“i’ll try my best to recover fast.” you promised, looking at all your wounds and injuries that were already aided by the kakushis, that you didn’t hear what he whispered.

“...say it to you.” were the only words you caught.

“what was that?” you asked him, but akiro and kenji came back from the kitchen.

“let’s eat this now before it gets chewy.” he redirected your attention.

he sat in front of you while akira occupied the left side of the table and kenji did for the right side.

the boys started eating and exclaimed how delicious it was. you decided to eat some too, picking up one stick and gently taking a bite.

himejima silently listened to all of you enjoying the taste of the sweet. he smiled as he focused on your voice.

“please eat up, himejima-san.” you offered him, reaching for another stick and gave it to him. “it’s really delicious.”

“i see. i’ll try some too, then.” he said and took a bite. “it really is delicious.”

“see!” you chuckled.

it made him smile and thought to himself.

‘during those seven days before the meeting, i’ll be sure that what i’m feeling is much more than wanting to reason for your hatred for demons. so, please be there when i finally get the courage to say it to you.’, that's what i said earlier, but now i’m certain.

it wasn’t a kind of worry you will have for your colleague.

i wasn’t familiar with this feeling, so i thought it was just normal.

i’ll just pray she’ll accept my feelings.

‘(y/n), i know you don’t need protection. you’re strong after all. i’ll still promise that i'll always protect you and those who are precious to you.’

i want to say that to you.

but, not now.

you’ve just realized that witnessing these two precious boys' growth are worth living for and you should only be focusing on that for now.

“i look forward to that day.” he muttered to himself and took another bite.

hope you enjoyed that one, because i did. reblogs would be much appreciated!

if you'd like to support me and my broke ass, you can tip me at my ko-fi acc! thank you very much!

#demon slayer x reader #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #kny x reader #gyomei himejima #gyomei x reader #demon slayer oneshot #luza-wayne #luza-wayne works #himejima x reader

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the-winter-spider · 18 days ago

Text

Waiting Room | Part One

Word count: 3.8k

Paring: Bucky x reader

Warnings: Angsttttt, Depression, illusions/mention of su!cide

A/N: Been in my drafts for awhile.

———-

The mission had seemed straightforward: extract a compromised agent from a heavily guarded facility on the outskirts of Istanbul. But as you and Bucky made your way through the corridors, taking down guards with silent precision, you realised the intel had been disastrously wrong. Reinforcements flooded the building, and it turned into a fight for survival.

The moment you’d heard Bucky’s sharp intake of breath from behind, your heart dropped. You whipped around to see him on one knee, clutching his side where blood was steadily seeping between his fingers. He pressed his back against the wall, teeth grit as he tried to catch his breath.

“Bucky!” you shouted, rushing to his side as gunfire echoed through the narrow hallway.

“I’m fine doll,” he grunted, glancing up at you with that familiar, stubborn resolve. “Just… a scratch.”

You knew him well enough to recognize that was a lie. Without hesitation, you placed your hand over his, applying pressure to the wound. The sight of blood—his blood—sent a pang of terror through you. You were supposed to be unstoppable together, a seamless unit. Seeing him hurt made the world tilt.

“I’ll cover you,” you whispered, already scanning for a way out, any sign of an escape route. “We’re getting out of here.”

He shook his head, wincing as he moved. “No, you go. I’ll… hold them off.”

“No way in hell am I leaving you,” you shot back, determination burning in your gaze. The sound of boots grew louder as the enemy drew closer.

In a split-second decision, you took out a smoke grenade, pulling the pin and rolling it down the corridor. It burst with a thick, blinding cloud, filling the air as you hoisted Bucky’s arm over your shoulder. Despite his protests, you started guiding him back the way you came, slipping through doorways and side corridors.

“You don’t get to do this,” he muttered through gritted teeth as he leaned against you, his breath labored. “Not for me.”

“Then stop bleeding all over me and maybe I won’t have to,” you replied, though your voice cracked slightly.

When the smoke finally began to clear, you spotted an exit up ahead. But the relief was short-lived. A team of heavily armed guards stood between you and freedom. You hesitated, assessing your options, and that’s when you felt Bucky shift.

His grip tightened around your shoulder. “Let me go,” he said, his tone pleading. “Please, sweetheart. Just get yourself out of here.”

You shook your head, eyes wide with a mix of terror and defiance. “Not without you! Not without you..”

For a moment, Bucky saw something in your gaze that terrified him even more than the prospect of dying. You weren’t just ready to protect him—you were prepared to give up your own life if it meant getting him out. And the thought alone made his chest tighten.

The guards began advancing, weapons drawn, and you moved on instinct, stepping in front of Bucky, ready to fight to the end if you had to. But suddenly, a backup team—Sam and Natasha—burst through the far door, taking down the guards in seconds. You and Bucky watched as they cleared the way, and with your support, Bucky managed to stumble toward the exit, his eyes never leaving you.

The ride back to the compound was silent. You sat beside him, trying to keep pressure on his wound, your hands shaking. The mission was over, but the memory of that moment—of you standing between him and danger, ready to sacrifice yourself—lingered, sharp and raw.

Over the next few days, Bucky’s injury healed. But that image of you haunted him. Every time he closed his eyes, he could see the determination on your face, that reckless willingness to throw yourself in harm’s way for his sake. And he realized with a growing sense of dread that it wasn’t the first time. You’d done it before, in smaller ways, in countless missions where you’d chosen to watch his back rather than your own.

He’d trained himself to be a soldier, to take risks, to put his life on the line. But the thought of losing you—it was like a weight pressing down on his chest, suffocating him.

He found himself pacing his room, mind spinning with questions he didn’t want to answer. The closer the two of you became, the more vulnerable you both seemed to be. The love he felt for you had grown into something he didn’t recognize—something that bordered on dependency, an attachment so deep that he could feel it chipping away at his own instincts, making him hesitate, making him weak. And he hated himself for it.

The choice became clearer with each passing night as he lay awake, wrestling with his fears. It wasn’t that he didn’t love you—he did, more than he’d ever thought he was capable of. But the love that once felt like strength now felt like a weakness, a danger that neither of you could afford.

The morning he finally approached you, his face was grim, his eyes shadowed with an unreadable heaviness. He took your hands, holding them between his own as he steeled himself for what he was about to do.

“Doll,” he said, his voice low, controlled, though his fingers trembled slightly. “I can’t keep doing this.”

Confusion flashed across your face. “What… what are you talking about?”

“I can’t watch you throw yourself in front of me again.” His voice broke, and he looked down, unable to meet your gaze. “It’s not fair to either of us. You… deserve a life without worrying if I’m going to make it back. And I…” He swallowed, his jaw clenched as he forced himself to continue. “I can’t be the reason you risk yours.”

You felt the world fall out from under you, his words slicing through you like a knife. “Bucky, no. I… I knew what I was doing. I’d do it again if it meant keeping you safe. You’re worth it to me.”

He shook his head, finally meeting your gaze, a haunted look in his eyes. “But that’s the problem. You shouldn’t have to sacrifice yourself for me. And I can’t be the reason you lose yourself.” He took a step back, his hands slipping from yours. “I’m sorry, but… this is for the better…Its for the better”

With that, he turned and left, each step pulling him further from the life he’d imagined with you, and from the love that had once felt like a lifeline but now felt like an anchor, dragging you both into a darkness he couldn’t bear to face.

Bucky told himself it was for the best. He told himself that he was setting you free, that it was better for both of you. But every time he saw your empty room or caught a glimpse of you in the hall, his heart twisted painfully, his resolve crumbling bit by bit.

And as he lay awake night after night, haunted by the memory of you standing in that corridor, ready to give everything for him, he knew that he might have saved your life—but he’d lost a part of himself in the process.’

——

You were suffocating without him. Every inch of the compound was stained with memories of Bucky. His laughter echoing down the halls, the way he’d catch your eye in meetings, or how his gaze lingered just a second longer than necessary when he thought no one was watching. You’d spent over two years by his side, building something real, something you’d thought was unbreakable.

But now, you were the broken one.

It had all fallen apart in a blur. After that last mission, where you’d nearly thrown yourself into danger to save him, he’d turned distant. Cold. The warmth in his voice, the love in his eyes, it had all faded. You could still hear his last words, ringing hollowly in your ears: “It’s for the better.”

Yet every day since then, you’d felt anything but better. You’d started slipping up in missions, reckless and numb, throwing yourself into harm’s way just to feel something. Anything. The culmination of it all was when Steve finally called you into his office and told you he was benching you.

The door to Steve’s office felt heavier than usual as you pushed it open. Your footsteps sounded louder than you’d meant them to as you approached his desk, each one like a reminder of everything you were losing.

Steve looked up, setting his papers aside, his face shifting to that familiar, concerned expression he’d been giving you a lot lately. You couldn’t bear to look him in the eyes.

“Take a seat,” he said gently, gesturing to the chair across from him.

You sat down, heart thudding in your chest, hands nervously wringing in your lap. For a moment, neither of you spoke. The silence grew, filling every corner of the room with unspoken words until Steve finally cleared his throat.

You heard him say your name, voice cautious before continuing, “you know why I called you in here?”

You nodded. You’d been reckless, cold, and numb on recent missions—everyone had seen it. After Bucky had ended things, claiming it was for the best, you’d felt yourself spiralling. Each mission had turned into a chance to feel something, anything, even if it meant stepping into danger. And deep down you hoped every mission would be your last.

Steve sighed, leaning forward. “I’m benching you, for now. Just until…well, until you’re back to yourself.”

You felt the words hit you, but they were strangely muted, like hearing someone yell from underwater. Your gaze dropped, feeling the weight of his decision settle in.

The silence stretched as you swallowed hard, and then, barely above a whisper, you admitted, “I’m not sure if I want to be here anymore, Steve.”

The statement lingered in the air, sharp and final, and for a second, Steve went utterly still. Then, slowly, he leaned forward, every nerve on edge as he asked, “What do you mean by ‘here,’ exactly?”

A pause. You forced yourself to smile, the expression brittle. “The tower, Steve. Just the tower.”

He exhaled, and for the first time in weeks, you saw him relax, a hint of relief in his eyes. “If you want to move out for a bit, that’s fine. Your room will always be here for you if you need it.”

You nodded, standing up to leave, feeling the need to get out of the room before the words you hadn’t said clawed their way out. Your hand hovered on the door handle, lingering a moment before you turned back to him, hesitant.

“How’s…how’s Bucky?”

Steve hesitated, an uncertain smile crossing his face as he replied, “He’s good. He’s doing good.”

You nodded again, your heart splintering. “Good. That’s…good.” And with that, you slipped out, leaving Steve alone, his gaze lingering on the empty doorway. Feeling a sharp twist in your chest. It wasn’t fair that he got to be okay while you were falling apart.

You were so lost in thought, you didn’t even notice Bucky as you walked past him in the hallway, his eyes flickering to you with a gaze so heavy, it could have shattered glass. He opened his mouth, almost reaching for you, but then thought better of it, watching you walk away without so much as a second glance.

When you turned the corner, he sighed, shoulders slumping, and pushed open Steve’s office door.

“Hey,” Steve greeted, glancing up from his paperwork.

“What was she doing in here?” Bucky’s voice was low, cautious, as if he already knew the answer and dreaded hearing it.

Steve straightened, a shadow crossing his face. “That’s…classified, Buck.”

Bucky raised a brow, holding his gaze, and after a tense beat, Steve exhaled and handed him a file. “She’s been benched,” he said simply. “Her last missions have been…reckless. Almost dangerous.”

Bucky’s expression hardened as he read through the reports, his jaw tightening with each line. Finally, he looked up, his voice low. “So…she’s not okay.”

“No, she’s not,” Steve replied quietly, a hint of reproach in his tone. “And I know it has something to do with what’s going on between you two.”

Bucky clenched his fists, feeling a fresh surge of guilt.

Just then, Friday’s voice filled the room. “Dinner is ready in the dining room.”

Bucky nodded, slipping out of the office and making his way downstairs with Steve. But when they reached the dining room, you were nowhere to be found. The others waited for a while, plates going untouched as they exchanged worried glances.

Dinner that night was supposed to be casual. Tony insisted on mandatory team meals at least once a week, believing it helped keep morale up, even though he’d usually roll his eyes at the idea of forced bonding. Everyone settled around the table, talking and laughing, but Bucky sat silently, his fork moving aimlessly through his food. Despite the banter, there was a noticeable absence. You weren’t there.

Tony glanced around, frowning. “Where’s my favourite agent?” He raised an eyebrow at Steve, expecting him to answer.

Steve shifted uncomfortably. “She… she might not make it tonight.”

Sam snorted. “She better. Isn’t this a ‘mandatory’ dinner?”

Tony finally sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “Friday, tell her dinner is mandatory.”

There was a pause before Friday responded. “She is no longer on the premises. She left approximately one hour ago.”

Tony straightened, his expression darkening. “Left? Where did she go?”

“I am not aware of her destination, sir,” Friday answered. “However, she appeared to be…distraught.”

Bucky went pale, a sick feeling settling in his stomach. Natasha glanced over at him, her brow furrowed in concern. They all looked to Bucky, who sat motionless, a storm of guilt swirling behind his eyes. Natasha pulled out her phone “Ill try calling her” everyone paused the anticipation killing Bucky, she quickly pulled the phone away from her ear “It went straight to a disconnected line.”

Everyone fell silent. Bucky tensed, barely concealing the flash of worry in his eyes. Natasha gave him a sympathetic glance, as if she knew exactly what was going through his mind.

Tony narrowed his eyes. “Distraught? When was someone going to clue me in here?” He looked pointedly at Steve, frustration simmering. “I’ve noticed things have been off lately. And now she’s suddenly ‘distraught’ and bailing on dinners?”

Steve sighed, leaning back in his chair, a heaviness settling over him. “I had to bench her.”

Everyone’s attention snapped to him.

“Good,” Sam muttered darkly, breaking the silence. “You should’ve done it sooner.”

Bucky’s jaw tightened, but he said nothing, though his eyes bore into Sam.

Tony raised an eyebrow. “Why? She’s one of the best agents we’ve got.”

Steve glanced at Sam, who gave him a nod to continue. “She’s been… reckless. The last few missions with her, she’s taken unnecessary risks.”

Sam jumped in, expression serious. “I was with her two days ago on an OP, and she was like a robot, just charging through everything. She didn’t have her usual sense of self-preservation. She was throwing herself into the line of fire without a second thought.”

Natasha looked thoughtful, watching Bucky out of the corner of her eye. “She’s not herself,” she added softly, her tone laced with concern. “Ever since… things changed, she’s been acting differently. I’ve noticed it, too.”

Tony crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair. “So, Bucky, is there anything you want to add here? I’ve noticed you two haven’t exactly been on the best of terms lately.”

Bucky’s face was stoic, but his hands were clenched under the table. He didn’t respond, but Steve’s gaze softened slightly, reading the guilt and turmoil on his friend’s face.

Bucky’s hand shot up to his face, running his fingers through his hair, his jaw clenched so tightly it ached. His mind replayed the last look you’d given him, the way your eyes had pleaded for something he couldn’t give, or maybe couldn’t admit. He felt Natasha’s gaze on him and didn’t dare meet it.

Sam, softening, looked at Steve. “She’s hurting. We all know that. But right now, she’s a liability out there. I don’t want to see her get hurt just because…”

He trailed off, his words lingering in the air.

Tony exhaled, a mixture of frustration and concern etched on his face. “This is why I wanted everyone to sign a no-dating clause for the team. We can’t afford for personal feelings to get in the way of the mission.”

The tension in the room felt like a held breath. No one was truly eating anymore, and the silence weighed heavy.

Tony suddenly broke the silence. “Alright, no one is leaving this table until we’re all sure she’s okay. FRIDAY, double-check her location. I don’t like this.”

FRIDAY’s response was immediate, but it was laced with a cautious tone. “Her last location was just outside the perimeter.”

Tony’s jaw tightened, and he stood abruptly. “If she’s distressed and now completely off the grid…” He didn’t need to finish his thought. The entire team exchanged looks, the situation shifting from uncomfortable to urgent.

Bucky was the first one out of his seat, the chair scraping against the floor as he shot up, already moving toward the hallway. Natasha, Sam, and Steve quickly followed. Tony and Bruce exchanged worried glances before they, too, rose to join the others.

They all made a beeline toward your room, urgency propelling them faster down the hall. Bucky reached your door first, pausing only a split second before turning the handle. Surprisingly, it was unlocked, as though you’d left it open for one last goodbye.

The room was eerily tidy, with your personal items still on the shelves, your clothes folded neatly, and your bed made. But it was the note on the pillow that caught Bucky’s eye. He moved toward it slowly, his heart pounding, as he reached for the single slip of paper.

He turned it over, his eyes skimming over the four words written in your unmistakable handwriting: It’s for the better.

His gaze lingered on the faint smudges on the page—tiny, dried droplets where you’d obviously shed a tear or two while writing it. The finality of the note hit him like a punch to the chest.

Natasha, standing just behind him, took a breath as she read over his shoulder. “What… what does this even mean?” she asked quietly.

Steve entered the room, glancing at the note with concern before meeting Bucky’s haunted expression. “She told me… when I benched her, she said she wasn’t sure if she wanted to be ‘here’ anymore.” His voice wavered, a rare crack in his composed facade. “I asked if she meant the tower, and she said yes. I thought that’s all she meant, but now…”

“And you just let her leave!?” Bucky’s voice was raw, anger and fear mixing as he stared at Steve. Ready to lunge at his best friend.

Sam, trying to keep the peace, grabbed Bucky by the shoulders. “Calm down, Buck. She wouldn’t just… she wouldn’t do anything drastic. Right?” He looked around, seeking confirmation, but all he found were worried faces.

Natasha’s voice was low, a hint of worry lacing her words as she exchanged a glance with Steve. “She’s been struggling. We all know that. And this breakup hasn’t exactly been easy on her.”

Bucky’s face was a mask of torment. He wanted to believe you wouldn’t go that far—that you would have told him if you’d reached your breaking point. But seeing the note, the tear-stained words… it sent a sharp pang of guilt through him. He had been the one to push you away, believing it was for the best, yet now everything seemed to be crumbling because of it.

Tony, standing at the doorway, looked graver than usual. “FRIDAY, pull up every piece of CCTV footage we have of her movements from today.”

The AI responded, “I’ve compiled the footage, sir. Displaying it now.”

They hurried down to the lab where the footage played on the large screen. Clips flashed by—there you were, walking briskly through the compound halls, a distant, empty look on your face. You paused at the exit, hesitated, then stepped out into the night.

There were no other signs of where you went.

Natasha’s voice broke the silence. “She left. No phone, no tracker. Just… gone.”

Panic surged through Bucky. “She can’t be gone. She wouldn’t just vanish like that.” His mind raced, replaying all the moments that led up to this—the mission where you’d almost sacrificed yourself for him, the bitter breakup, and the distance he’d tried to put between you both. Each moment seemed to press heavier on him, leaving a crushing weight in his chest.

Tony glanced at him, face hardened with unspoken accusation. “What the hell did you do, Barnes? We’ve all noticed things between you two, but this?”

Bucky shook his head, trying to push down the overwhelming guilt. “I thought I was protecting her. I thought pushing her away would be better for both of us.”

Natasha’s voice softened, though her eyes held a pointed sadness. “Did you really think breaking her heart would keep her safe?”

Sam chimed in, recalling the last mission he’d been on with you. “When I say she was reckless, Buck, I mean it. She was out there like she didn’t care what happened to her. This isn’t the girl we know. Whatever you thought you were doing to ‘protect’ her—it’s only making her worse.”

Bucky clenched his fists, feeling the weight of everyone’s words. Just then, FRIDAY’s voice cut through the tension, delivering a final, chilling update: “There has been no further trace of her movements in the past hour.”

As the silence settled in, everyone exchanged anxious looks. Bucky felt the dread settling deep in his bones. You had vanished, left with nothing but a note and the heartbreak he’d pushed onto you.

And now, he feared, it might be too late to undo the damage he’d done.

Bucky stared at the screens, watching you vanish into the night. A haunting silence settled over the team as they realized you’d slipped through their, his grasp, into the shadows. But did you didn’t really slip away… he pushed you away.

Days passed. Then weeks. They searched, called every contact they could think of, and scoured every corner of the city. But you were gone, leaving nothing behind except questions and the hollow ache of your absence.

Bucky found himself drifting back to that last mission, haunted by the image of you diving into danger for him. He’d thought leaving you was for the best, sparing you from a life bound to the risk of losing him.

But he was wrong.

He’d lost you anyway, and now, he was left to wonder if you’d ever come back. The words from your note echoed in his mind every night, the same ones he said to you only weeks before: It’s for the better.

But god how could it ever be.

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