#bleach yakuza au

[scrivenger-grimgar]

bleach but ichigo is a little bit older, and gets adopted by a yakuza boss bc she's unable to have children, which is how he meets mizuiro.

i think the clan name would be Yorugata, and the kumicho who adopts ichigo (and karin & yuzu by association) is named Seiun.

夜(yoru: night) 形(gata: shape of) 青雲(seiun: nebula)

after realizing that ichigo works better as an enforcer, seiun chooses to make yuzu her successor, each of the siblings gain their own titles, too!

Ichigo earns the title of 明星死 (Myōjōshi: star death) which i will "localize" to either Star Crusher or Star Breaker (so it can be Myōjōshi & Zangetsu, Star Crusher & Moon Splitter)

so he basically grows up with a "secretly" hyper-violent vodka aunt, , and isshin is completely oblivious to his kids' involvment in organized crime.

of course, with the kurosaki siblings comes some level of morals, so along with protecting local businesses and keeping other clans out of karakura and naruki, theres the illegal drug and weapons trade. under the combined might of ichigo, yuzu, karin, mizuiro, chad, and tatsuki, several rules are put in place; no selling drugs to minors, no selling alcohol to 15 years or under, no selling weapons to anyone under 10, no selling to people at all if they have a history of abuse or sex crimes, no human trafficking, period.

additionally, all members must be taught life skills (sewing, cooking, cleaning), and successfully mentor a newer member.

kisuke learns about ichigo's yorugata affiliation after rukia arrives, when jinta tells tessai about the 'really cool super awesome guys who helped with evacuating a building after a hollow attack and i swear they were glaring directly AT the hollow!' but jinta also imediately denies ever saying anything like that.

so kisuke doesn't know for sure until after the shattered shaft, where theur spar gets super vicious, kisuke can tell that ichigo is actually trying to maim him. (yorugata supplies very good service for the injured and disabled, and ichigo doesn't want to kill every enemy he fights, but he does have to permanently deal with them.)

i'll continue this later im tired hand is tired.

[iamumbra195]

When you're trying to write an AU where the main characters are not good people but there's that one annoying character who is practically a saint and you can't make them a bad person without turning them into an unrecognizable mess:

[andiftheycare]

Stsg au where overworked salary man Suguru doesn’t need more problems in his life, but alas there’s someone — or maybe multiple someones, who knows — who keeps stealing his umbrella every time he goes to buy his lunch/after work drinks at the konbini next to his office.

Which at first is, well, annoying.

It’s typhoon season and he might miss the last train because his umbrella is gone, and he has to ask the cashier if they have more umbrellas in stock because of course they’re all sold out when he looks for one in the aisle. It’s end of day — okay, it’s past 11pm — and it’s pouring outside.

So they manage to find a new umbrella for him, Suguru pays the cashier those 500 yen (internally cursing the thief) and goes on with his life.

Except that it happens again. And again. And again.

Suguru starts to keep a stash of coins in his drawer in the office because the occurrence it’s now a routine, and because there aren’t other konbini in the area that are as conveniently located nor that serve his favourite bento box.

Changing location isn’t an option.

Except that of course Suguru is not always lucky. Sometimes umbrellas actually sold out. Day after day, the pained part-time worker gets more and more confused on why this is happening only to Suguru. No other customer is affected.

“You could keep your own umbrella with you instead of leaving it in the rack?”

“It’d mess up the shop floor.” Suguru says, tired, and the part timer nods slightly, scratching his pink haired head. “Besides, I don’t see why I shouldn’t put it there. I’m not the one at fault here.”

“I’d offer to let you look at the security tapes but the umbrella rack is in a blind spot.” He sounds apologetic. “My manager would kill me if I were to move it.”

Suguru had met his manager, a guy called Sukuna that seemed more fit to run a local Yakuza gang than a couple of connivence stores, so yeah, he wouldn’t want to put the part timer in any tricky situation. It’s just an umbrella.

It doesn’t matter that he ends up walking drenched into his meetings, or covering under the konbini’s canopy until the rain calms down in the evenings, or living with a perennial running nose.

He wonders if there is some karma involved. Did he do something to be targeted by all the umbrella thieves in the prefecture? It’s a punishment for a past life where he mass murdered a village?

Whatever. He doesn’t believe in those things anyway.

Until. He’s smoking in front of the store, air wet and fresh, and he shouldn’t lit anything there, really, it’s way out of the store smoking area, but Suguru’s so tired he feels it in his bones, in the lines of his muscles. It’s all encompassing, at times, that type of tiredness, to the point it’s a struggle wake up in the morning, to process thoughts and emotion outside of business calculations.

Mostly, thought, it transforms him into a crueler version of himself. One that, deep down, only craves a long night of sleep.

“Geez, you look awful.”

Suguru blinks slowly. He stops playing with his lighter - which flame is struggling to re-lit the cigarette, Suguru’s hand covering it in an attempt to keep it alive - and looks towards the voice.

There’s another man.

He’s wearing a suit in a way that would send any HR rappresentative into a coma. His style is unfazed by company regulations, crinkled and complemented by a lopsided tie. His hair are white which, itself, it’s at least breaking four of his company contractual clauses on bleaching your hair.

Under the white background of the konbini’s neon lights, his eyes are a shadowed blue.

Those, Suguru thinks, can’t be real.

“And, well, clearly you can’t talk? But it’s not a first, I’d let you—“

“Who the fuck are you?”

The man purses his lips. They’re pretty, like the rest of him, but Suguru hasn’t felt like kissing anyone in a long time, so the thought is passing and feeble.

“Mate, I was trying to cheer you up. You look like you need it.”

Why is he speaking so informally to him? Is this man insane? Suguru patience wears thin when he works over hour. “You have a weird sense of humor.”

“I’m Satoru,” he said, and Suguru frowns at him.

“I’m not calling you by your first name.”

The man pouts at him. He’s tall — taller than him, taller than Nanami, — and build in a way that weirdly makes Suguru wonder if he could take him in a fight. This is how he knows he’s losing it.

“So formal.”

“So informal” he spits back, letting go of any hope of getting nicotine in his body.

The man - Satoru, although thinking of a stranger in those terms is too intimate for his liking - tilts his head and cracks a smile “it’s part of my charm.”

Fucking no.

“If you’re hoping to—“

The automatic doors of the shop slide open, the familiar welcome song of the konbini chain announcing an extremely self satisfied part timer. He waves an umbrella at Suguru “Geto-San, I found one!”

The white haired man raises his eyebrows, and repeats “Geto-San?”

Suguru doesn’t dignify that with more than a scornful stare.

“It’s an old one, Kugisaki found it in the back of our changing room. It’s been there forever so I think can keep it.”

“Eh? Nobara has never been so precious about me getting wet.”

The boy directs his attention to the man, and it’s suddenly clear they know each other. “I don’t think she likes Gojo-sensei as much.”

There’s an audible gasp, a quick change in demeanour that makes him look comical and reminds Suguru of those animes Nanako and Mimiko watch on the weekend while having breakfast.

Suguru doesn’t listen to whatever conversation passes between Gojo and Itadori, staring vaguely at his new umbrella, dread sinking into him as he thinks of his long train home, of how maybe he’d manage to sleep four hours if he’s lucky. Of how he’s waisting his precious time there.

“Well,” Satoru says, eyes glistening with mirth as he lays them on Suguru. “I guess we’re not sharing an umbrella to the station then.”

It lands as a joke but Suguru isn’t sure this man is joking.

“Yuk,” Itadori says. “That’s very romantic of you, sensei”

“Whatever,” Suguru says, and opens the umbrella. He’s not gifting this man more of his presence.

“Next time,” Gojo says, but this time he’s weary of Itadori, and leans in Suguru’s personal space as he steps on the rain. Water falls on Gojo’s shoulders, staining his shirt, and his voice’s low, his tone promising nothing good, “Maybe I can help you loosen up a little?”

Gojo’s grinning and Suguru hasn’t been hit on so hard in a long time. He’s flirted at often, and he likes to flirt back, see the power his words have on people, how easy it is to have things his way if he plays along. He knows the rules of that game, where not to cross the line.

Yet. This man just has.

He regards him with a brief stare. There’s a vague picture forming in his brain of what this Gojo would look like on his knees, pretty lips around his cock, and Suguru recoils.

It’s wrong. It’s so vivid you’d think he’d actually seen Gojo sucking a dick before. And he hasn’t and doesn’t want to. Suguru’s better than that, more centred, so his stomach doesn’t churn at the idea.

Maybe it has been way too long. Maybe he needs a fuck, although he rarely — if not never — feels in the mood.

He waves at Itadori. Then, whispering, he parts from Gojo with a “Fuck off.”

Suguru doesn’t think about him as he drags himself home, checks on the girls, and lies down in his suit, sleep taking him in seconds, alarm ripping him away from the quiet peace of his night in what seem like few minutes.

He wakes while it’s still dark outside, still raining.

At lunch, Suguru does what every sane person in his predicament would do. Umbrella in hand, he marches to the konbini’s printer, tapping away on the stickers design options.

He prints a curse.

Surely, he could’ve been more creative with it. And if he was to listen to his inner voice, he would’ve been more violent. Instead, he prints out:

Stealing will turn you into a frog

Childish. Appropriate for a childish thief.

He sticks it on his umbrella’s handle, and leaves it in the rack. Wonders if he’d end up with a frog on his hands.

End of… part 1???? Sorry I just wanted to write a stupid au hc and this happened???

So this is now also on Twitter here because I thought it fitted as a threadfic?? We’ll see.

PART: 2, 2.2, 3

[asukaskerian]

bleach daemon AU - outside POV on harribel

so a couple centuries (5 years) ago i asked for prompts for this (grimmichi) verse. most of them are still languishing in my file.

but then i was prodding at the fullbringers arc and i was like "lol i could add some yakuzas" because, lol, in the last fic of that series there's an outsider pov on a yakuza. (he thinks ichigo is an oyabun's young heir and grimmjow is his hitman bodyguard. it's hilarious.) and then this ficlet was like "i will be short to complete and then, having gotten back into the yakuza oc mindset, you can go back to the multipart!" (it was a lie) but anyway.

--

anonymous asked: In the Grimmichi Daemonverse, could you have Nel and/or Harribel come try out the daemon thing? Then Ichigo could be seen hanging out not only with his hot yakuza boyfriend but also with hot dangerous-looking women, like he's slowly growing his harem :)

it alas did not end up looking like a harem. but, lol anyway.

Jin's daemon Rin is a snake i forget which kind and Yamatora's daemon Queen is a little terrier dog. Grimmjow's panther is Leucanthe and Ichigo's lioness is Rikuto. Oh and some of Grimmjow's fraccion survived and are hanging around in gigai too.

--

Times were, Jin and Rin liked it when the big boss's eyes fell on them and he said things like, "ah, I can entrust you with that thing". Felt important, like understanding, like respect.

Now Rin coils tighter around his neck and resists the urge to sigh.

"Urahara-dono, sir?"

The boss nods slowly. "You're good with the weird," his daemon says.

Jin does not feel very complimented.

"Take your newbie with you. Urahara-dono's heir knows him, doesn't he?"

Urahara-dono's heir regards Jin's trainee the way one regards a dumb, hapless chicken in a field full of foxes and tiger pits -- with vague, despairing concern. It's, Jin supposes, not the worst thing. He could be regarding him like a newly powerful man regards the punk who used to try to beat him up behind the grocery store.

Jin supposes the operative word here is "try".

"Yes, sir," he replies, dutiful if not enthused.

"Oh, and I'm sending Matsuoka too. He's got to get used to dealing with Urahara-dono's cohort if he wants to get anywhere as an underboss," the big boss mutters, and Jin feels very briefly doomed.

--

Matsuoka-san is a very new underboss; a modern, ambitious type. His daemon is a falcon -- observant, wary, viciously fast to attack. He comes from a sister family to the Kishiume and he has a great many fresh ideas to revolutionize the criminal underworld.

He also has no fucking clue why the big boss went so far as to meet with some unkempt undercover-as-a-shopkeeper guy with no bonds of brotherhood to any other family when as far as anybody can tell he has twenty men tops and isn't trading out any weapons or sellable shit.

He'll learn, Jin knows.

"Or he'll get dead," Rin mutters. Jin doesn't even bother huffing his reaction.

"What'd you say, Rin-san?" Queen asks solicitously, craning her neck to catch a glimpse.

"Nothing of importance. Turn left at the next crossroads."

They turn left. Yamatora is humming nervously, fingers tapping the wheel, but he's a surprisingly good driver. He maintains his speed with machine-like precision and uses his turn signal religiously. They're not going to get pulled over today, no matter how completely suspicious the semi-trailer truck is, driving through narrow suburb streets as it is.

Inside there's a giant tub of water and a rigged-together bunch of sprinklers and some pulley system for a stretcher. Jin officially does not want to even wonder.

Matsuoka-san is following them in his sports car. If anybody gets them stopped today he will.

--

They get to the Urahara shop; park the truck on the stretch of beaten earth before its front door. Step out of the truck. The front steps are home to three men -- two of them massive and well-muscled, the last whipcord-thin and playing with something that shines in the sunlight. Jin does not want to take a single step closer to them. They bother him the same way Kurosaki-san's bodyguard bothers him -- something crazy in the gleam of their grinning teeth. He goes anyway.

He lets Matsuoka-san go first, though. It isn't his place to tell the underboss to be careful of bottom-rung flunkies.

"Tell your boss the Kishiume envoys are here," Matsuoka-san starts with, his falcon mantling her wings pointedly. Rin hisses quietly, winds herself tighter. Queen briefly cowers behind Tora's legs, and then wanders out to swagger awkwardly as they try to provide backup.

The three men stare back for a long couple of seconds, and then the scrawny one with the fat lizard laughs, like they have an inside joke and it's on Matsuoka-san.

"Be polite," the red-haired one chides mildly, his baboon smiling in a too-human way for fangs that size. "Go get him."

"Yeah, yeah," the scrawny guy goes, standing up, and disappears indoors, daemon wrapped around his shoulders like a yellow-and-black scarf. The sliding door snaps closed behind him as he stomps on wooden boards loud enough to be heard from outside.

The guy who emerges isn't Urahara-dono. It's the crazy panther guy.

The panther slinks out of the door first, casually brushing against the last guy's warthog, and on her heels comes the man, loose-limbed and his eyelids heavy, unimpressed. He scans their trio and says nothing to Matsuoka-san, visibly at the head of it, stares at Jin himself for a second longer. Nods, to him and not to the underboss.

"I remember you."

That is... not something Jin knows whether to appreciate or not, but he nods back, expressionless.

The panther sits, licks her paw with casual unconcern. "Thanks for last time. We had fun."

Yamatora blinks dumbly. "Oh, at the p--" Jin elbows him. The hitman smirks.

And they've officially reached the end of Matsuoka-san's patience. Daemon fluffing up her feathers in annoyance, he takes a step forward. "I asked to see your boss. Where is he."

An arctic-blue look spears him right back. "No, you asked for their boss. That's me."

... Oh, hell. This is now a pissing contest. Jin knew it. He doesn't even know who to bet on; Matsuoka-san has a gun and a lot of rage, but the hitman is... The vibes. No. His panther is just going to leap and pluck the falcon right out of the air before anyone can even throw a punch, how can Matsuoka-san not see that?

Also how the hell does it work? Kurosaki-san is training under Urahara-dono, so how--

"Grimmjow, what the hell -- oh, you guys are here! Awesome."

And Kurosaki-san's daemon is now peeking out of the door, sans her human, looking as innocently curious as a black lioness can possibly be. She doesn't pad out, likely not wanting to strain her bond; instead she just... stares at Queen, and blinks myopically, and goes "Oh, hey, I know you. I think? Hi."

"I'm Queen!" Queen yaps, bristled in offense. "Queen and Yamatora!"

"Oh right! Taroyama. Yeah. I remember. Anyway!"

Tora and his daemon are suffocating with spluttery offense. Rin and Jin would be offended too if they thought Kurosaki-san actively meant to be offensive, but the fact of the matter is that she just doesn't seem to care enough to be deliberate.

They're not sure if she meant to utterly ignore Matsuoka-san to start with, but when his daemon starts angling out her wings like she plans to dive and strike, they know it's not gonna matter in the long run.

Kurosaki-san turns her heavy head up to the falcon, nods, expression a little more reserved. "Kishiume-sama's representative, huh? I'm Kurosaki Rikuto. Thanks for coming, we appreciate it."

"Do you," Matsuoka-san says back, jaw clenched. "Greeting us with disrespectful little punks, and then with half of you--"

The way the black jaguar slowly moves to stand between him and the lioness says nothing good. "I'm sure he couldn't help it," Jin says before the hitman can open his mouth and shoot something really impolitic right back.

"Yeah, he's -- ow, fuck." The lioness shakes her head, as if hurt; from inside the shop comes a muffled, "Grimmjow! Can someone come help me hold her down?!"

"Leu?" the lioness asks, and the panther groans.

"Yeah, yeah, okay. Kanchana, you and Edrad are in charge. You guys know what we need."

The hitman and his daemon amble back inside without another word. Fuming, Matsuoka-san hisses between his teeth, daemon with her feathers all puffed up.

The redhead with the baboon stands, a faint smirk on his face that could pass for apologetic in the right light. "Alright. Sorry for this. Things have been a bit chaotic this morning. It should go much smoother now that you and your men are here to assist. That the trailer? Can I check it out?"

--

At Edrad's instructions, they've turned the truck and the trailer around to back it against the front door. Matsuoka-san has been gritting his teeth over not being invited inside for the whole ten minutes it took, and Jin and Rin have been standing next to the big, silent one and his warthog in mutual, warily respectful quiet for just as long as the blond brat with the lizard pops in and out of a window to the side of the building to relay informations.

"Who do you think they were holding down?" Tora whispers in his other ear. "The journalist?"

"The journalist was months ago. It'd be over with by now."

Matsuoka-san narrows his eyes, as if he wants to ask for the story but knows better than to do it in a yard where everyone comes and goes. "Or they were giving us a half-assed excuse not to greet us properly. Who the fuck does that kind of business in the same rooms they receive people--"

From the shop comes a sudden, ragged scream; a woman's scream, raw and gut-deep. The three of them tense, Tora's eyes going wide. The big man beside them blinks down at them placidly.

"--Okay, who the fuck does that kind of business somewhere they can be heard from the street?"

Inside they can hear a mad scramble of feet approaching through the shop; the screams die down into gasps even as they get closer and -- bumps and thuds, feet, the trailer swaying under the growing weight of... they can see nothing, the trailer parked so damn close and the big man standing there blocking the hair-thin gap between it and the door. The paper squares of the screen are opaque and the light is stronger outside and Jin can see nothing but shadows.

Rin sees a lot of warm spots moving around, but that doesn't say much more.

"What... What do you think she did?" Queen whispers from Tora's arms, quaking just barely. Rin strikes at her nose, annoyed.

"How many times do I have to tell you, it doesn't matter what she did, or her lover did, it's not your business."

Their only job is to assist with transport. Transport of a screaming woman who needed to be held down, in a trailer with a tank of water more than big enough to submerge someone. Yeah, it's gonna be a right dirty job.

But Urahara-dono asked for that favor, to pay back some favor he did the boss a way back that's been hanging over his head for years. Here they are and that's it.

He hopes being asked to take the fall isn't going to be part of it. Surely the boss would have warned them. Or he would have given Jin and Rin someone else than Tora and Queen. Right now all they can do that isn't drive the truck and beat up people is provide a convenient corpse, and ... No, Jin didn't get that vibe. Which is good because he got kind of used to Tora's dependable stupidity.

--

They get asked to deliver the trailer to a secret address.

The address is a beach. A craggy little thing tucked between two cliffs, pebbles instead of sand with big splashing waves and a quick drop toward the depths. A great place to dump corpses.

Maneuvering the trailer down that beach is a six-person job; the two big henchmen, the blue-haired hitman, Kurosaki-san, and Jin and Tora themselves. It's heavy, and the slope is pronounced.

The water inside keeps splashing out, even though the thing inside seems to be doing its best not to move.

The waves lap at their legs, ankles first and then thighs. It's cold. Not a season for swimming. Kurosaki gets slapped in the face by a wave and huffs. "Ugh. Okay -- okay, a bit more. Harribel-san?"

Then the trailer shifts and bobs, half-carried by the waves, and unlocks from the inside.

The loading ramp flops down, slapping the water. A woman emerges to stand on the threshold.

Jin stops breathing.

He hopes he's being discreet. He hopes she doesn't notice he exists.

"Holy shiiit, babe alert," Tora whispers, and from her perch across his shoulder Queen perks up, scanning her shoulders and around her legs for the daemon. Rin strikes out without a thought, hitting Queen's flank with her snout and stopping herself from sinking in her fangs at the very last second. Does he want to get them all fucking killed?!

Queen yips in betrayed surprise. The woman's eyes glance over them. Jin stands very, very straight and mentally catalogs his weapons; he barely relaxes when she finally looks away.

"That is not someone's girlfriend," he hisses under his breath. Sure she's tanned and blonde like any gyaru from the clubs but if she's more than half Japanese he'll cut off his pinky on the spot. She's... something else.

Back on the shore Matsuoka-san and his daemon are bristled up like they're still working themselves up to snarling something. Time to take one for the team. The big boss had better be thankful.

"Your pardon, ma'am. Do you need any help to unload?"

Whatever it is inside there, that the men didn't let them see carry in. Whatever they're carrying in water (water daemon?) to a disposal area (screaming woman with cement shoes?) that they will no doubt see now unless they leave straight away, and Matsuoka-san won't. He feels too slighted to allow them the discretion.

She looks down at him from above and her eyes are depthless, suffocating.

"If she needs help it sure as fuck won't be yours," the hitman laughs. "Yo, Harribel, you vacationing up here?"

She doesn't answer the hitman's jeer; she looks at him for a second and then back at Jin, and her voice is low, husky. "I will manage. Step back onto the shore. Grimmjow, have Nakeem hold onto the hitch."

The hitman makes a permissive hand gesture and the man with the warthog obeys. Kurosaki-san herds everyone else out of the water in big splashing steps, and they're still ankle deep when the trailer rocks and something massive slips out.

Jin was keeping watch over his shoulder. He still barely has the time to see the long body slip down the ramp -- white belly, dark back, fins --

"Is that a shark?" Matsuoka-san chokes out.

"It's obviously a fucking tortoise," the hitman drawls back with unimpressed mockery. His panther is watching them and Jin doesn't like the cant of her ears one bit.

"He's a Great White, I'm pretty sure," Kurosaki interjects, and elbows the hitman in the ribs. At the other end of the trailer a splash resounds, the woman diving smoothly after her daemon.

They miraculously all shut up for a minute or two as they watch the dorsal fin cut through the waves. The woman doesn't resurface for -- pretty long.

"All good, Harribel-san?"

"Satisfactory," she replies, bobbing with the waves. The fin resurfaces, and a great deal of sleek shark back. "Wait a bit longer for the trailer."

It's bobbing on the waves, the henchman Nakeem still holding onto the chain to keep it from drifting away and sinking. Dragging it back upslope is going to be a chore and a half.

Getting the shark back into the rig--

How did they even get it inside the first time around? Does Urahara-dono have a seawater pool with a winch in the backroom of his shop? It's ridiculous. His shop looks so small. Even if there's a basement it would need a freight elevator--

Not his business, he reminds himself.

"Shouldn't we at least beach it, ma'am?"

The shark surfaces, much closer to the shore than he assumed it could get. The woman shakes her head, expressionless. "It's not safe yet."

--Ah?

Further away -- so far, how long is her tether, isn't that uncomfortable -- a fish jumps out of the waves. A dorsal fin follows. The shark was between her and the shore not a minute ago.

"Not... safe?"

The henchman with the baboon laughs in amused sympathy. "So he doesn't react badly if you scratch yourself on the frame and bleed. He might bite down before he's thought it through."

Queen whimpers. "Oh my god."

"He's been cooped up a while, is all! He'll be more sociable in a minute."

The panther grumbles, batting at the lapping waves. "Yeah well he'd better hurry up, cause I want to swim too."

"Seriously? It's cold as hell! You're a tropical cat!"

"You're a whiner."

"Oh, fuck off--"

"Shut the fuck up," Matsuoka-san snaps without warning. "The fuck kind of job is this? A vacation?"

Kurosaki scowls back, but half-heartedly, more chiding than insulted. The hitman props an elbow on his shoulder and snorts, a derisive half-smile floating on his face. Both cats turn to stare, then the panther rolls her eyes and goes back to aimlessly slapping at the waves. The lioness starts scratching her ear with a back paw.

"We didn't have a trailer big enough," Kurosaki-san says, patient but tired. "And you guys did. Nobody said it was life or death, you don't need to be so tense."

Tora slips Jin a look like he's asking if they need to back him up. Jin shakes his head no. They have twice as many people if this goes bad and Kurosaki-san is still attempting to deescalate; if Matsuoka-san wants a pissing contest it's probably not going to go further than a beatdown, which at this point he is asking for.

"Tense? The fuck do you mean?"

-- Unless the hitman gets involved --

"I mean tense like tense," Kurosaki-san snaps back, finally getting annoyed, "but if you want to hear it like scared that's not my business," but the hitman has already let his elbow slide off his shoulder, is already taking a gliding step forward--

"Grimmjow."

He stops.

Thigh-deep in the waves, the woman is staring, still expressionless.

"What," he growls back, head inclined toward her but still facing Matsuoka-san.

"Don't cause Urahara Kisuke problems."

"You're telling me you think his boss didn't send him here so we fix his attitude problem for him?"

Jin winces inwardly. Matsuoka-san gets shocked stupid, bird rearing back. Apparently he didn't have the first clue that his attitude needed adjusting and the concept is stalling his brain -- or maybe it's the matter-of-fact way they speak that hammers it in, like of course that's true, but it's nothing to get excited over, because he's just that unimportant, just that harmless.

"That doesn't matter. He didn't ask out loud. Let Urahara make the call."

"... Boring." The hitman gives Matsuoka-san a dismissive look and turns away.

Yamatora and Queen are staring, mouths open. "W-wait -- ah, miss -- lady -- are... you his boss?"

She walks up onto the beach, hair dripping. Her wetsuit follows every curve of her body, and they all spell predator. Jin wishes he had muzzled his rookie.

"He's on loan to Kurosaki Ichigo."

... Jin reorganizes his understanding of Urahara-dono's outfit in his head.

Is Grimmjow-san an underboss? Loaned with his whole team? Are they all crazy hitmen like he is? The man with the pig daemon is expressionless like somebody dead and the one with the baboon normal, friendly, and standing between them and the car and Jin didn't notice.

"Thanks," Kurosaki-san says drolly. "How do I give him back?"

"You don't," the hitman leers back. "I gotta be wrapped all special in a... Edrad, what's the word?" he asks leadingly.

"Body bag?"

The man smirks wider, fangy, flicking his fingers at his man. "That's it."

"I can arrange that," Kurosaki-san grouches. "Harribel-san, can I drown him a little? Is it okay now? I don't want to give your daemon indigestion--"

"The fuck he could eat us!" the panther yowls, incensed. "Fucking goldfish--"

Sighing, the woman nods her agreement to the lioness, who sidesweeps her human's legs with her own flank, sending him careening into the hitman, who trips over his own daemon, and they all end up knee deep in the waves, spluttering and hollering insults. The henchman with the baboon laughs.

"Harribel-sama. Anything you need?"

"No. Don't get into the water yet, you'll seem more edible."

"Oh, I had no intention, ma'am."

She comes to a stop before Matsuoka. Her daemon is so far from her, swimming laps at the entry to the cove, barely visible; she stands alone and barely seems to notice.

If he treats her like somebody's woman he is going to die. It looks like he does have some good sense behind the bluster, though, because he grits his teeth and says nothing and nods back when she does.

"Thank you for the ride. I won't be needing your help on the trip back. Edrad and Nakeem will help you get the trailer back and after that you may go."

... What?

"Convey my thanks to your head," she adds with another nod to the three of them, and then she turns right back toward the sea.

"But... How is she going home?" Tora asks plaintively.

Jin can only shrug.

Maybe there's a boat waiting out there. Maybe there's an oxygen bottle and a mask hidden somewhere in the rocks, and they will go out at sea and disappear that way. Maybe that is how she gets around usually and the inland side-trip was unplanned, a trap even; and he doesn't know and will never know, and he sure as hell will not ask.

Unless they fit inside a carry-on aquatic daemons are a disability for everyday life. Where do you live with them as a human; a barge? A cruise ship? Venice?

Where do you live that still lets you become a boss?

And how have they never heard of her?

He is so, so glad it's a question for his oyabun and not for him. He feels like knowing would shorten his lifespan considerably.

[palesweetscherryblossom]

Platonic Yandere Overhaul

This is simply an idea and something I came up with after rewatching S4.

Warning: Mentions of murder and child abandonment and neglect.

Let’s start off with your parents in this AU, who were rather poor. They basically were poorer than the LOV in season 5 and it certainly didn’t help that they had another mouth to feed. So, they reluctantly went to the Yakuza. Aka: Overhaul’s gang and all that jazz.

Considering how it’s canon that the Shie Hissasaki didn’t fuck with drugs, prostitution or gambling, I’m guessing they did money extortion or were loan sharks.

Your parents gave them their plight and pops was like: “Sure, just remember to pay us back or we’ll give you a first class ticket to see Nana Shimura.”(Get it? Cause she’s dead-) Your parents lived a relatively normal life and were pretty happy with themselves, until they realized: “Oh shit, we don’t have that kind of money to pay those guys back.” Needless to say, y’all fucking fled. (I would too, Overhaul fucking scares me-)

Y’all avoided them, for a while before they were like: “Hey, don’t those people owe us money and shit?”

And Overhaul, don’t take that shit. He’s finding yo ass, he’s getting his money. After many bloody and dangerous hijinks, they finally found your parents in a dirty house on the outskirts of the city.

Kai was rather disgusted and honestly “impressed” that people could actually live like this and be okay with it. (MF wanted to bathe in bleach afterwards.) They busted in, only to find that your parents had fled and left you behind.

You were a little baby and just laying there, crying and desperate for human attention.

Kai was more pissed that they fled but was like: Ew, I’m not taking that thing home. Fuck that noise.

He ended taking you home and had to keep you from trying to latch onto his fingers. He tolerates a lot of bullshit but this is too far.

Kai wanted to get rid of you or see if you had a quirk that he could maybe help his cause. Pops shut that shit down real quick, MF admonished Kai for that nonsense. You were just happy to be there, you got a bath and food? Fucking lit!

Pops straight up ruled out the human trafficking route and Kai playing god. Kai was pissed but he couldn’t really argue, he angrily held you while getting lectured. Pops said: “Kai, I didn’t have to take you in. I could’ve easily thrown you to the rats but no I didn’t. You really wanna subject that baby to the same kind of misery YOU went through?”

Kai couldn’t exactly argue with that, he grew up in a dirty and dangerous environment where filth and corruption was prominent. (We’re gonna ignore the orphanage shit as it’s dumb and I’m sick of AFO butting his wrinkly ballsack lookin ass into places in where it doesn’t belong.)

So, Kai reluctantly agreed and “raised” you. He was mostly hands off, he only agreed to feed you and maybe bathe. Diapers and vomit were a job he’d never take up, fuck that.

But he kinda got attached, albeit slowly. Kai didn’t really hold or touch you, more like silently observed you as you got used to your more clean environment.

He would occasionally pat your head before quickly stopping. It was until you were confirmed quirkless till the yandere syndrome started to kick in.

You were pure, you weren’t sick. Kai was honestly relieved and started to be more tending towards you.

Mostly tutoring you and showing you more affection, which was more head pats and the occasional pat on the shoulder.

You grew more accustomed to his group and knew the members really well. They were your “uncles” or “brothers” in a way.

Kai grew more and more devoted to his cause, hoping to create a more pure and sickles world for him, for you.

He’s rather controlling when it comes to things, like making sure you’re healthy, in good shape and HOLY FUCK IS HE DEVOTED TO YOUR HYGINE.

No cavities and sweaty ass smells in his compound, MF will fully inspect you and will send you back to the bathroom to bathe if he sees dirt on you.

Kai also makes sure that anything you’re allergic to is near you, he knows hives can be itchy so he carries epi pens around for you.

Also, no mentions of heroes or villains in his presence. Kai would straight up put an end to that, he hates hearing about it and will let you know.

He’s also really possessive and controlling, often keeping you away from new recruits, he doesn’t trust anyone new around his child. Being around you is sign saying: “Kai trusts this person!”

He’s also manipulative, like very manipulative. Kai just says he’s doing this cause he cares about you and doesn’t want you to get sick.

He doesn’t want you to be sick.

[evilkitten3]

#It being a phenomenon that people ship two characters that would have an entirely fucked up relationship#And you would EXPECT that that's the appeal and therefore what the content is like and then it's like oh nope. Fluff#How did we get here

EXACTLY

like this happens so many times in so many different fandoms. if you wanna fantasize about your ship talking about laundry in a coffee shop then. you do you i guess, but that seems incredibly boring to me. why not have them do something more interesting, like aggravated assault

ngl my biggest issue with tobi/izu as a ship or as a friendship or even as a foemance is that there's no reality where it's not a thousand times funnier if they just straight-up hate each other's guts

[get0sfav]

hiii everyone!! sorry for being so inactive :D BUT I'm here now, and I'm gonna get back to writing, so UM i was thinking of doing this yakuza-ish AU and like I'm confused as to whom to make to protagnist/antagonist so please help me out a little <3

i wanted to make this a bleach story but most of the people who follow me are more interested in JJK (not that I mind) soo :(

[samuraiondo-mace-1177]

Random Trivia abt Asahi Ito - my RK AU oc

- Screenshot of Asahi from my "Red Flags" reanimation

placing all info under cut :>

Ex-employee for an IT company that used to exist in Sōtenbori

The only dances he knows are the gangnam style, the macarena, and the waltz (Creator note: Same goes for Mace, the Creator himself)

Favourite music artists/bands are: Tyler, the Creator, Depeche Mode, Frank Ocean, Måneskin, and Wallows

Favourite songs are E.G.G.M.A.N. and I THINK

Was simultaneously the most respectful yet most irritating person to Soma

Constantly uses "shortened name"-chan with people out of habit from his past in the Kijin

Thanked the man who took out his left eye - says it was a waste of space

Cried whilst watching "Squid Game"

Massive video game nerd - loves Pokémon and "Like a Yakuza" (game name appears on a chatter in Lost Judgement /gen /real btw)

Favourite Manga is JJBA and The Way of the Househusband

First thought "Bleach Japan" was just a large group of people that really liked Japanese laundry detergent

keeps metal objects to throw at people when he wants them to shut up

Favourite Sonic the Hedgehog character is Espio

Capable of reciting the alphabet backwards (in English) due to learning Atbash

Favourite food is Japanese Curry

And most importantly:

He's autistic - like his creator :>

[ddelline]

📌📌📌📌

✖ 2024 fic list (wips & finished) ✖

mha

✖ wip → halcyon (and on and on) 5/5 bkdk | rated e | pro hero au; getting together → a wound gives off its own light 2/2 bkdk | rated t | post-war; ch425-compliant; getting together

jjk

✖ fin → hyperborea 1/1 nobamaki | rated m | post-canon; getting together; trauma & healing ✖ wip → attack, decay, sustain, release 11/? goyuu | rated m | canon divergence → circulus vitiosus (salva mea) 2/3 goyuu | rated m | time loop au ✖ tba → when you dig up god’s little acre 1/1 itafushi | rated m | post-war; getting together → a breath stillborn 1/1 satosugu | rated m | canon divergence → every year (is the year the world ends) 1/1 itafushisaki (gen) | rated m | post-canon; trauma & healing

sakadays

✖ wip → bog-bodied 3/4 sakanagurion | rated m | character/relationship study; pre-canon

✖ tba → saltwater rain 1/1 sakanagurion | rated m | relationship study; pre-canon

kagurabachi

✖ fin → aubade 1/1 hakuhiro | rated g | pre-relationship; ch44 coda

✖ tba → bathymetry 1/1 hakuhiro | rated m | character study; getting together

bleach

✖ fin → sueño (series) | grimmichi | post-war; getting together; trauma & healing; est relationship; slice of life; humor despierta 5/5 | espera 1/1 | valentía 1/1 ✖ wip → aventajar 2/8 grimmichi | rated m | yakuza/law enforcement au; enemies to lovers → the king of all birds 6/? gen | rated m | slice of life; vizards-centric; character study

[unholybatswrite]

Asks open!

Fandoms I'll mainly write for Suggestions are welcome from fandoms outside the list:

Attack on Titan/SNK

Avatar the last airbender/LOK

Bleach

d. gray-man

Danny phantom

Demon slayer

Dragon Ball Z

Encanto

Final Fantasy X/X-2/XV

FNAF security breach

Fruits Basket

Genshin Impact

Hazbin Hotel

Helluva Boss

Hetalia

Homestuck

Hunter x Hunter

Inuyasha

Jujutsu Kaisen

Katekyo Hitman Reborn

Kekkaishi

Kim Possible

Kingdom Hearts

Kuroshitsuji

Legend of Zelda

Magi

My hero academia/BNHA

Naruto

Nurarihyon no mago

One piece

Osomatsu-san

Pokemon

Regular show

Rick and Morty

Sailor Moon

Sally Face

Stardew valley

Steven Universe

Stranger Things

Tiger and bunny

Toriko

Twisted Wonderland

Undertale

Voltron

Yakuza/Like a Dragon

Yu-gi-oh og mainly

Beastars

Big Hero 6

Beelzebub

Blue exorcist

Devil May Cry

Dragon Age

Lupin the 3rd

Miraculous Ladybug

My time at Portia

Rules under cut

Rules for asking

NO scenarios involving kids/pregnancy! I ABSOLUTELY will not entertain anything about Rape, Incest, T-cest, Pedophilia, Abusive Relationships, etc

Please specify what gender you prefer when Requesting an xReader scenario

If you aren't specific about your wants, I will assume whatever you don't say is to be left up to interpretation

I am fine writing NSFW but certain things like Knife play and Vore will be turned away.

Give me time, life can get crazy so it can take a little time.

Stoner au's are welcomed and encouraged

Have fun and don't be afraid to ask for what you want c:

[bogbees]

ok i think im done? its just. formative media up there with slayers, trinity blood, ranma, naruto, pumpkin scissors, hetalia, bleach. khr prob as well as tenchi muyo.

might think up a silly future au with them all in their twenties. bc. smth ab Beel's court being a yakuza (with a ditzy wife), a shrine maiden, a multi-millionaire (married to the prime minister of japan), and an odd jobs freak is really funny. toss in Oga ending up idk running a daycare catered to demons, and Furuchi as like, idk, well loved by everyone he meets..... real fun to think about.

[sunkingwrites]

(source)

Hello hello, I'm Kasper- you can call me Kasper (obvi), sun, king, or literally any cheesy petnames!

If you call me a slur, I will not hesitate to block you!

☀ I'm a trans dude, he/him and they/them pronouns are fine

☀ May 13 (Taurus sun, Taurus moon, Gemini rising)

☀ I'm panromantic and polyamorous (aka I shove poly bakusquad in your face and you enjoy it)

☀ Inhabiting Canada, where the lakes flow with maple syrup and poutine, the beavers sing their silly tunes, and petting the foxes is sadly off limits

☀ I use petnames for a lot of my mutuals so so often, so lemme know if you're uncomfortable with me using petnames for you!

☀ I'm fluent in English (even tho sometimes I don't act like it), and I have intermediate French,, I'm trying to learn Spanish and Japanese but I'm so easily distracted and can't retain information to save my life 😅

☀ Avid enjoyer of spicy foods, sour candy, artificial banana and strawberry flavours, and cheesecake

☀ If you send me an ask, I will almost always do a little happy dance-- but no, you don't get to see it ;P

☀ I'll add more to this when I remember more things about myself :')

self-ships

Kasper's Bakusquad - me x the entire bakusquad (this includes bakugou, kirishima, sero, denki, mina, jirou, and shinsou) they're my poly bunch of loovvess

Kassou - me x Hitoshi Shinsou (apocalypse au)

Yasper - me x Momo Yaoyorozu

Kashima - me x pre transition!Eijiro Kirishima, prob happened in highschool or smthn

Kasawara - me x Koshi Sugawara

Katsukatsu - me x Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu (soul eater au)

kins

My Hero Academia: Denki Kaminari, Neito Monoma

Bungo Stray Dogs: Chuuya Nakahara

Haikyuu!: Kozume Kenma, Tadashi Yamaguchi

Demon Slayer: Zenitsu Agatsuma

The Way of the Househusband: Masaru Akamiya

The Yakuza's Guide to Babysitting: Toichiro Aoi

video games

Baldur's Gate 3, Beat Saber, Minecraft, Stardew Valley, Animal Crossing, Among Trees, Firewatch, My Time at Sandrock, Slime Rancher (1+2), Civilization (mostly III cuz nostalgia), Red Dead Redemption II, Graveyard Keeper, Kynseed, Don't Starve, Terraria, The Sims (mostly 4), Genshin Impact

anime

My Hero Academia, One Piece, Haikyuu!, SK8 the Infinity, Fairy Tail, Bleach, Demon Slayer, Bungo Stray Dogs, Cowboy Bebop, The Yakuza's Guide to Babysitting, Hunter x Hunter, Cells at Work!, Zombie Land Saga, The Devil Is a Part-Timer!

☀ navigation ☀ rules ☀ about me ☀ masterlist ☀

[cheesus-doodles]

Bonten Mikey + Taiyaki

Valentine’s Day Shorts

Masterlist | Valentine's Shorts List

i got so much more that i want to write i'm so swamped ;-; warning for slight angst for this one, its a little scene from my Going Home AU

"I don't want it," Mikey repeated as firmly as his hoarse throat would allow, abyss eyes fixed on the same empty beige wall of the infirmary.

The Bonten second-in-command was persistent, his pleading voice cutting through the still air. "Mikey, please, you haven't had anything to eat all day-"

The usually mouthwatering smell of taiyaki only brought on a sudden flood of memories, and with it, a familiar pain in his chest and a curl in his gut that Mikey could have sworn had long been numbed with time. For fuck's sake, he was the boss of the most heinous crime syndicate in all of Japan, overseeing an ever increasing number unspeakable evils with each passing day.

And yet, being offered his favourite treat today, of all days; it was as good as a slap to his face, a mockery of you slipping through his fingers again. Enough to make him feel. You had, after all, always been the one to make taiyaki for him on Valentine’s Day before your disappearance twelve years ago, and had promised to do so after your sudden and miraculous return to him twelve years later. But he couldn’t stop it from happening again, couldn’t stop you from vanishing from his arms once more.

"Fuck off,” was all Mikey could muster the strength to mumble, shifting slightly in a bid to seek an ever elusive comfort. Without you, his world was meaningless. Why couldn’t he be just left alone to stew in his misery?

Sanzu, however, wasn’t that easily dissuaded, the pink-haired man on his knees for the umpteenth time this week, piercing green eyes turned down at the cold blue tiles that lined the infirmary floor. And the prone position wouldn’t have worked on the Bonten boss, like it had failed to do so many times before, if not for those magic words. "I used her recipe," the other mumbled into the ground; softly, tauntingly.

The room fell silent as time came to a crawl, the sound of every breath heavy in the tense tranquility as Mikey contemplated those words. He knew the delinquent-turned-yakuza dared not to interrupt lest he be sent away, and so he allowed his pestilent right hand man to continue to stew without the bliss of drugs to tide him over. One tormenting minute after another, before he finally made up his mind, the sheets under him shuffling slightly as he turned.

“Fine.” A single word, and Sanzu rocketed up from his knees, wasting no time in pressing the fish-shaped cake into his beloved king’s outstretched hand. Yet for all the hope shining in those green eyes, eagerly waiting as the the tail of the taiyaki was nibbled at, the taste that flooded his mouth was a far cry from the ideal in his mind.

It couldn't even wash out the lingering smell of bleach from his nose. The sweet fragance that he remembered coating his tongue as he bit into your handmade taiyakis was missing.

Throwing the rest back at the mob of pink hair peaking over the edge of his bed, Mikey agonizingly turned back to face the wall, the moment of effort having taken every ounce of energy he had left. "It doesn't taste like hers."

He should have known better then to expect any different, the bitter thought like a stab through his chest as he heard the slowly fading footsteps of Sanzu exiting the infirmary; it would never be the same as yours.

[amaranthineoni]

MAFIA AU

NAME: Ibaraki Tomoe GENDER: female AGE: 27 SPECIES: Human LANGUAGES: Japanese LOCATION: Japan FAMILY: confidential

HEIGHT: 165 cm (5'5") WEIGHT: 62 kg (136 lb) BUILD: Athletic, toned HAIR: Black. She frequently bleaches it. Usually pulled back. EYES: Gold DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: Irezumi depicting an Oni, dragon, and tiger. She has several piercings in her ears and one in her nose. PROFESSION: Yakuza FAMILY: Born to Jin and Ino Ibaraki. Jin is a highly respected member of his Yakuza group. HISTORY: The only daughter of a gangster, Tomoe was raised in such a way to ensure her safety from both social stigma and the police force. While she was kept separate and largely unaware of her parents ‘professions’ for much of her childhood, she was properly educated to ensure her success in the field should she chose to follow in her parents footsteps. This includes martial arts and weapons training as well as finance and business education.

She was permitted to join the family in an official capacity once she was 16, though she had never intended to. Despite Jin and Ino’s best attempt, both were notorious in their own right, and Tomoe struggled in school as a consequence. The experience soured her to her parents way of life, and her reputation as a delinquent - bestowed by the public due to her association with her parents - was one she wanted to leave behind.

However, on the tail end of her high school career both her parents were murdered in an attack on her home. When the police deny involvement and refuse to investigate, she became fixated on avenging them. The only way to do that was to follow in their footsteps. Now, she must work her own way up in the organization herself.

[asukaskerian]

monthly word count - august

TOTAL: 7 143 some progress!

POSTED: nothin'

IN PROGRESS -bleach - suburban ot4, two attempts at the start of chapter 20, both failed (349 words) -svsss - cosplay binggeyuan fic (6 691 words) (where did it come from???) -cherry wine (32 words) (something is wrong in what's already written and i can't figure out what) -mdzs - attempt at fic that immediately died on me idk (71 words)

yeah so the winner of this month is the cosplay fic, wow. :X

Also posted: -Swimming With the Fishes - bleach Daemon AU outside yakuza POV, harribel -You Know Better Babe - bleach ABO sequel ficlet to Howling Outside Your Door, ichigo nesting feels.

-- teasers :

-- suburban ot4 -- "H-hi... I was in the area, and I thought, maybe--"

Nelliel stands on her doorstep, staring dumbly. She thought it was Grimmjow having forgotten his keys. He's been dragging Ichigo out after school recently. 

But it's not, it's Orihime. Flustered and her smile twisted down, her big shining eyes sad.

She didn't expect it. It isn't like they haven't been talking at all since she found out the Kurosakis had up and left their old house without a single word...  It's just been very surface-level, is all.

For a long moment she thinks of stepping back into her apartment without inviting her, letting Orihime be sorry at the door, make Orihime marinate in uncertainty and rejection and guilt, but that's passive-aggressive. If Nelliel misread their degree of closeness, that's on her.

... That's on her.

-- svsss cosplay fic -- Say what you will about Airplane Shooting Toward The Sky, he was meticulous about making the outfits look cool. Absolutely unrealistic, but this was high fantasy, not pure martial arts. Weird ribbons and young human ladies showing positively indecent bare calves were par for the course.

Therefore, Shen Yuan spent a couple of weeks speed-rereading to update his excel files with every single reference to the style of everybody's clothes when and why (alas, torn-during-a-fit-of-passion alterations included), downloaded the commissioned official art, downloaded the fanart Airplane had thumbed up (even if some of it seemed thumbed up for cleavage or ridiculousness instead of correctness)--

And then he *learned new things*. Like drawing detailed character reference sheets, making a pattern, sourcing cloth (so many wasted bolts of inferior taffeta in his cupboards); he had learned to use his mother's sewing machine (bonding time! Unexpected and pleasant!) and then he had learned how to make fake armor and how to make belt charms and how to style a wig, and then, at the end, he had gone to his sister, hat in hand, to ask to be taught how to apply makeup.

Never mind that (he'd checked) cosplay was judged on the costume, not the body of the person inhabiting it. He was not going to do Great Master Liu the dishonor of a pimply face. 

"You ready?" Shen Jiaying asked, uselessly, before he went out on stage.

"No but it's too late for that, holy fucking shit why did you let me do this."

She laughed in his face, and thwapped his chest with the back of her hand. "You look fine. You're not gonna win though."

"Yeah, no." Considering that even just amongst the PIDW crowd there was an Abyss Binghe complete with red-light-lined Xin Mo and ultra-fine gauze floating all around as demon qi thanks to a very clever little fan sewn into the back of his belt, he was not expecting to. The Yue Qingyuan was good too, and the triplet nuns, and-- ahh, he really was in the infancy stage of this hobby, wasn't he. 

The other Liu Qingge was here, though. Fuck that guy and his half-assed sleeves.

[rarepears]

Ask game title: morals have an aesthetic criteria

In between missions set in the human world, Yumichika manages to squeeze in some time for shopping in his gigai.

The human world has dramatically changed over the past few centuries and some of the best inventions, in his not humble opinion were the opulent malls.

But, well, he gets accosted by some ugly - terribly ugly - humans - ew humans - in bird masks. They yell something out loud out him - something about using his powerful quirk to save the world - but Yumichika tunes them out. Such ugly people with even uglier tastes - why would they even think that he would be interested in joining them? It's not even a matter of shinigami not being allowed to interfere with human matters; they are just so ugly-

Yes, Yumichika's morals are completely guided by his aesthetic criteria. How else would he fit into the 11th squad so well?

Pity Overhaul didn't get the message; now Yumichika has a stalker to deal with, not that it's a real struggle for him since he's a Shinigami, but it's still annoying like dealing with a fruit fly flying around the kitchen.

[check out other fic ideas in the #made up fic title ask game]