#blame my friend for the last one

[stagtheracoon]

Bunch of random oc doodles over the past while

[lemonywings]

i need someone to free me i cant live like this

[major-alenko]

Trilogy Appreciation Week Day 2: Friendships

You've been there for me, too, Liara. No, I haven't. I wish I could have joined you back on Illium. You made up for it. Well, I suppose I did just write your name in the stars.

[gravelsong]

HOLY SHIT

[dip-the-pip]

wish dnp were real </3

[metukika]

trying to figure out this bus app is killing me. at this point i'll just walking in the rain ;;

[carnivalls]

.

See the thing is. I know I'm good at writing. Like I have my weak areas or things I need to improve in, but it's not a skill I otherwise spend a lot of time feeling insecure about because a) if I don't believe in my writing literally who will b) if I want to publish my writing I ought to at least feel a resting level of good about it because editors and agents likely will not be cradling my face like a prize cat and telling me how talented I am while asking for their edits c) I've always had an audience for my writing even at its worst– I started sharing my original works online when I was around 16 & that really helped sell to me the idea of 'there will always be someone out there who likes what you do' d) untalented men never think this hard about the quality of their works and they always end up published anyway and e) I don't have many other thoroughly developed skills so why not have one I feel good about. Having said this. Awkward feeling to realize you're one of the authorial weak links in your postgraduate creative writing degree's social circle

[hakusins]

(vent in the tags) me thinking i've finally escaped financial problems: :DDDDD

life:

[m00ngbin]

Who amongst you wants to read a ridiculous amount of words about my guys? Bc I have stuff here. For you. And for me

Name choice reasons first, and if anyone that is not me ends up reading this, you may notice that even Inoue's NAME is kind of centered around Mahamat if you really think about it. That is 100% intentional. Also bear with me with the translations, I do not speak arabic or japanese in the SLIGHTEST so hopefully the internet hasn't lied to me Badly

All of this would make a lot more sense if you read their original lore post, but who cares

Ok so starting with the psychic. I decided that her name was gonna be Azumi Inoue after a VERY long debate on whether I wanted to make it feel straightforward/just according to her character, or add symbolism to it. I chose symbolism. First name Azumi, and I've been kind of hung up on the spelling of it just because I think both meanings I'm leaning towards fit the story. It's either Azumi: bright, light - as in to make something clear, to have it illuminated - or Azumi: Peaceful. Last name Inoue, and I had a SIGNIFICANTLY less difficult time choosing this because it was so conveniently lucky that I stumbled across this name. Inoue: above the well. Together that would either be like clarity above the well or peace above the well.

I think I'm SOOOO goddamn clever with this btw. My absolute FAVORITE name that I've ever chosen, because not only did I give her like a shit ton of INSANE well symbolism that I can't even get into rn before I even found it, and I ALSO decided that her family was going to have a thing about wells too that I'll mention later. It was crazy. Anyways so both peace above the well and clarity above the well both have to do with her misunderstanding with the other girl, i.e you can't see the truth through tunnel vision, she can't really see that mahamat actually has no fucking idea that inoue did what she did and has been covering for her the whole time. Inoue thinks that mahamat is using her and knows exactly what she's doing and that her powers are actually inoue's. Inoue has built up this idea in her head around mahamat that's, for the most part, completely untrue, and if she could get out of that well (throwback to crazy symbolism stuff I won't explain (right this second)), if she could get across that gap and actually just TALK to her, clear up the MOUNTAIN of miscommunications and onesided resentment (will not happen btw. Not before Shit Goes Down), everything would be cleared up. She'd have clarity, she'd have be able to have peace of mind

I have had the MOST trouble with the non psychic's name, Inoue's was pretty much an instant decision other than the meaning. I also had to decide whether or not to go for symbolism or character here, and I did a little mix of both, but I leaned a little more into character because she is a more straightforward person than Inoue I think. So the non psychic's first name would either be Mitsuko or Mitsumi, and either would be ok because both the meanings would fit, but I'm leaning more towards Mitsuko just bc Mitsumi is a little more symbolic-y (AS MUCH AS I LOVE IT FOR HER. EVEN MORE THAN MITSUKO TECHNICALLY). Mitsuko like "light/shining child" and Mitsumi as something along the lines of "fascinating secret" OR "seen secret," which I'm taking to be as like knowing about or being aware of a secret. Looking right at it. I Will explain this later, ik it's kind of cryptic rn if you haven't seen the og lore post. Her last name is Mahamat, (and ik ik, double M, just bear with me), which is supposed to be like "highly praised," OR Ahmat, which is like pretty similar as something along the lines of "the most praised." And ik that the obvious choice is Ahmat, but I've gotten really attached to Mahamat as her last name, so. It's still being decided.

So Mitsuko, Mahamat, and Ahmat all have to do with Inoue's perception of her, but also just how she is. She's a very talented person, she's very popular, she does really receive a lot of praise and validation for the things she accomplishes, and even more so with 'her' psychic powers. Once Inoue starts covering for her, she's complimented and praised left right and center, and she's absolutely ADORED by everyone. She shows off with the powers a LOT. She is the light, and she's a very (literally and personality wise) bright person, she's the center of attention. With Inoue, this starts as sincere, because she genuinely does love Mahamat, but it gets more sarcastic and ironic towards the end of the storyline. Speaking of ironic, her ENTIRE NAME is ironic, ESPECIALLY with the end of the story. At the end, the secret gets out because of Inoue, and suddenly Mahamat isn't great anymore. She's not popular, she's not cool, she's a fraud. Everyone believes that she knows exactly what she was doing and believes Inoue wholeheartedly. She is no longer the most praised, she is no longer the brightest kid in the room, everyone thinks she Knows The Secret (circling back to Mitsumi as an option). Inoue thought she knew, everyone else did too, but she didn't. She had no idea. It's the most ironic name of all of them, it's HER name, and she's the one out of the two that Doesn't Know What's Happening, even though everyone thinks she does.

Anyways she has a dual name. You may or may not notice, but both last name options are Arabic last names. Specifically they're Chadian. They're two of the most common Chadian last names, which is very important. They're common. She's common. She's no different from everyone else, and there's nothing special about her. It's supposed to be foreshadowing even though the readers and me the creator already know that she doesn't actually have powers. It's foreshadowing for her I guess, she's common. Like every single other person

Also she's Chadian and Japanese, her father and grandmother were both born in Chad. Her father moved to Morocco for a job and her grandmother came with him, and then the two of them moved to Japan for a Different, better paying job at a company that I have not decided on yet, where her father met her mother and she was born like ten years after her father and grandmother moved to Japan. She's pretty fluent in both Japanese and Chadian Arabic because her father was insistent that he teach it to his daughter, but by the nature of language and how you learn it, she's ever so slightly more proficient in Japanese, but only because she speaks it more often and with more people. She is DEFINITELY not bad at speaking Chadian Arabic don't get me wrong here

For the uhhhh for the story that inoue's name is insanely unintentionally related to. (Meant to mirror Inoue and Mahamat (but also intentionally not exactly) in that Mahamat is meant to reflect the woman and Inoue is the husband)

Ok so wayyyy back in the family line she has this girl and her husband. At some point the woman gets sick, and so every day that she's sick, the husband goes and gets her water from the well by their house (this is way back when and they're in a place that doesn't really have running water just yet). Eventually the wife gets better, but the husband still continues to get water for her well after the fact. He's devoted, he loves his wife, but eventually he starts getting tired of it. He gets frustrated. He continues to do it out of obligation and he assumes that his wife knows that he's sick of it, but she doesn't tell him to stop, and so he doesn't. One day at the well he makes a mistake. Maybe he leans a little too far, maybe the grass that morning has more dew than usual and he slips, however it happens, he falls in. He's trapped. He PANICS. He starts yelling for his wife, but stops after about a minute, assuming that she'd heard him. She hasn't. She has no idea that he's in there, and furthermore she has no idea that he'd been tired of getting the water for her. He, however, doesn't know any of this. He assumes that she knows and that she's left him in there and that she'd known the whole time that he had started to resent doing it, but he's never said anything. He'd been giving subtle hints and he yelled for her (from where she couldn't hear), but she'd never picked up on it. At some point his wife comes outside to grab something; a basket, some laundry, it doesn't matter. If her husband had kept shouting for her, she would have heard him and he could understand that she had not done this to him on purpose. If he'd made it more clear, he wouldn't have been in that situation in the first place. There are plenty of ways for him to get out of the well, from getting the woman to getting out on his own, but in his rage and misery at apparently being left there, he pursues none of them. He doesn't realize that he has a way out, has Several ways out. He dies in that well, and his spirit (and, logically, his decomposing body) poisons the well so that no one can use it for decades. He never gets out, he never sees the truth, nothing is ever resolved. The woman eventually finds out where he's gone and she is beyond distraught. She's alienated and ostracized by the people around her until her passing because they had all formed the same opinion and come to the same conclusion as her husband had. They're meant to be like a cautionary tale for Ahmat and Inoue, but obviously they don't know about them, so it's more like a "whatever, go my symbolism/parallel/reflection" moment. Hilariously enough, Ahmat's family has a similar story about wells, except it's the positive version of this story

"How would they know this story from his perspective if he never got out of the well," I hear you say. I'm debating on this, because the truth of the matter could be that he DID get out but never ends up talking to his wife and learning and developing his perspective. He's angry and hurt and he would lie about this story to the people he's telling it to in some way to frame her as the absolute bad guy in this who did everything 100% intentionally. She heard him. She knew. She didn't do anything. I do like this and I think it would still reflect on Inoue and Ahmat pretty well, but I think it would change the well symbolism ever so slightly from being that getting out of it will bring them clarity, to getting out of it means they still have to work and fight for that clarity and they still have to reach out. It still works, but a little differently that I originally intended. I'd end up reworking that ending a little

But also, I COULD have him actually die, they may just not know this story from his point of view, I could have it just like. Be a little fact mentioned somehow and have the Inoues be very traditional ppl who focus a lot on family and the past and the way the story is told is very negative towards the wife. This way Inoue will like grow up thinking of how the wife was in the wrong bc nobody is very kind to historical people in her position, and it'll still reflect on her relationship with Ahmat and be kind of reflective in a different way where she finally has to consider the wife's perspective through Ahmat. I think this one works better with the well symbolism I already have and I'm Kind Of leaning towards this ending. Idk. I have it playing out a lot more concisely than I'm making it sound rn and I could see it going either way

Yayyy if I have more (and I probably do) I'll make another post later

[junewild]

i neeeeeeed a therapist so fucking bad lmfao

[sockfizz]

Scratches my head and leans into the mic. So uh PSA! If I do anything that upsets you please inform me as soon as you can instead of ignoring it til I'm vulnerable? Thanks

[memento-morri-writes]

whump wednesday - part iii

tw / tags: concussion, blood, bleeding out, loss of consciousness character: Rook (who else?) status: canon (took place several irl months ago as part of Rook’s first “Horrible, Very Bad, No-Good Weekend”.) wordcount: 525

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Another continuation from earlier. The party has now made it back to the Winters' manor. Having lost a lot of blood since being revived (on top of his concussion), Rook is in pretty bad shape. His mentor, Sigmar, is attempting to get him to the Winters' healers.

Rook’s eyes drifted closed, the oblivion of sleep calling to him. A sharp prod at his side dragged them reluctantly back open.  “Rook, you need to stay awake. Just a little bit longer, until a healer can have a look at you.” Sigmar’s voice was serious as he half-dragged, half-carried Rook down the hall of the Winters’ manor.  Rook groaned in response. He was exhausted, and every inch of his body ached. He wanted nothing more than to close his eyes and fall headlong into unconsciousness. Sigmar prodded him again. “Tell me what happened to you. How you ended up in this state.”

Rook thought hard for a moment. How had he ended up like this? He remembered Celestia, and healing the party, and then- Oh, right. He started to explain, his words running together as he spoke. “This werewolf guy showed up. Deadringer?” Sigmar’s body tensed but he said nothing. “And he wanted Warren. Warren and Cherry, I think.” He paused, trying to remember what had happened after that. “He… he wanted to hurt them. So I told him he’d have to go through me first. And he said ‘Deal.’ and threw me across the room. I… I think one of his werebeasts killed me.” He felt rather than saw Sigmar shake his head. “I should never have left you. If I’d known she’d bring Deadringer into this… I shouldn’t have let you go off to fight someone like him without me.” Once again, Rook was surprised at the weight of the emotion in his mentor’s voice. He wanted to say It’s not your fault. Or maybe, I would have done it anyway, but his mouth wouldn’t cooperate. So instead he just rested his head on Sigmar’s shoulder. The damp chill that had come over him on the way here was getting stronger and he leaned into Sigmar’s warmth. “‘S cold,” he mumbled. Sigmar picked up the pace a bit, a worried edge creeping into his voice. “Come on, come on. Just a little further.” Rook’s eyes were heavy, and his awareness of the world was fading. He heard a door open, was vaguely aware of a brightly lit, white-painted room, of being laid down on a bed. He could hear people talking urgently, unfamiliar voices joining Sigmar’s. His muddled mind only caught fragments of their words. “Concussion… Severe… Significant blood loss… Not enough… ”  Sigmar’s raised voice cut through the fog. “Help him, damn you!” It sounded very far away, as though coming from another room. Multiple sets of hands touched his skin, and the familiar warmth of healing magic (when had being healed become familiar again?, he wondered dimly) flooded his body. The cold, clammy feeling faded away. The constant pain he had stopped registering some time ago subsided, leaving blissful neutrality in its wake. His head cleared slightly too, blurred reality coming back into focus for a brief moment. Distant voices reached his ears, borne by that momentary clarity. “It’s safe for him to sleep now. He’ll be fine after some rest.” As if his body needed no further reassurance, Rook’s mind relaxed, and within seconds he sank into a deep sleep.

[loderlied]

at least i get to say that my hypochondriac delusions about dying soon weren't delusions at all lmao. small w

[chaosmagetwin]

I love having nightmares for a week straight :) I love having dreams about dying or watching my friends and family die :) I love having dreams where there is nothing I can do except watch the bad shit happen and someone has a gun to my head forcing me to watch it happen :)

I love having multiple dreams in a single night about the same topic ^.^ it is really so enriching! It really makes me feel like dreams serve a purpose! It’s definitely not wearing me out and down into a spiral!

[anti-homophobia-cheese]

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[eliotquillon]

IS THIS A SAFE SPACE FOR ME TO COMPLAIN ABOUT MY FLATMATES.