#black and white wafer dragons

[driftwoodmfb]

Guess who decided to make the Black Dragon and White Dragon into Cookies?

(Click for better quality)

I'm really proud of this! I studied the dragon Cookies in both their Cookie form and dragon form thoroughly to make a good and accurate Cookie form for these two dragons. I even gave them both a horn and a half of the Black and White Dragon :3

These two dragons look so much like oreos to me, but I didn't want to call them Oreo Dragon Cookies lol. My next thought was cookies and cream, but Cookies and Cream Dragon Cookie is not only a mouthful, but also feels weird to have cookie in the names twice. So, I've settled on White Wafer Dragon Cookie and Black Wafer Dragon Cookie.

Little menaces /lovingly

[queensharotto]

Brittle Doughie’s Cookie Run x Reader Masterlist (Part 8: Summer 2024)

A masterlist of @brittle-doughie’s Cookie Run stories organized by month.

Genre Emojis

😞 is for angst, 🎃 is for Halloween, 🎄 is for Christmas, 🍪 is for Cannibalism, 💗 is for Yandere, 💝 is for Valentine’s, 👻 is for Horror, 🎂 is for Birthday, 💚 is for Yandere!White Lily Cookie, and 😈 is for Ancient Beast AU (Inspired by Cuppajj’s Beast Ancient AU)

The Indents are related to the featured cookies. If there are numerous cookies (Over 10 Cookies Featured), I’ll make a note on that as well. Additionally, I’ll categorize various cookies if they’re associated with a specific hobby, location, food etc.

Also, the ⭐️ will indicate a story featuring one of Brittle’s OCs while ✨ will indicate someone’s interpretation of Y/N Cookie.

Additionally, many people proved art to showcase to Brittle, which will be indicated by this: 🖌️. I will also mention who provided the art.

June 2024 ☀️

• “Lethality” ⭐️

Featuring: White Lily Cookie and Brittle’s OCs

• “Get Along”

Featuring: Dark Cacao Cookie and Mystic Flour Cookie

• “Back to Your Tree NOW”

Featuring: White Lily Cookie and the Five Beasts

• “Mothers of the Republic”

Featuring: Madeleine Cookie, Clotted Cream Cookie, Light Cream Cookie and Grand Madeleine Cookie

• “Pearly Contemplation”

Featuring: Peppermint Cookie and Oyster Cookie's Envoy

• “A Warm Welcome”

Featuring: Strawberry Stick Cookie and Mint Wafer Cookie

• “Yin and Yang”

Featuring: Peach Blossom and Affogato Cookie

• “Can’t We ALL Just Get Along”

Featuring: The Ancients and the Beasts

• “Walls of the Baker”

Featuring: The Ancients and the Beasts

• “I Don’t Remember You”

Featuring: Dark Cacao Cookie and Mystic Flour Cookie

• “Fishing Season”

Featuring: The Five Beasts

• “Cuddles”

Featuring: The Ancient Cookies

• “Corruption”

Featuring: White Lily Cookie

• “Stepparent”

Featuring: Clotted Cream Cookie and Light Cream Cookie

• “Auntie Time”

Featuring: Madeleine Cookie’s Aunts

• “Embracing the Purple Warrior”

Featuring: Purple Yam Cookie

• “Peach Kisses”

Featuring: Peach Blossom Cookie and Dark Cacao Cookie

• “Marriage Ensembles”

Featuring: Dark Cacao Cookie and White Lily Cookie

• “Reunited”

Featuring: Dark Cacao Cookie and Mystic Flour Cookie

• “The Ivory Prophet Joins the Kingdom”

Featuring: Dark Cacao Cookie and Mystic Flour Cookie

• “The Ancient Beast Order” 😈

Featuring: The Ancient Beasts (AU Tag)

• “Bad Endings” 😈

Featuring: The Ancient Beasts

• “The Prophet of Salvation” 😈

Featuring: Beast Pure Vanilla Cookie and Black Raisin Cookie

• “The Manufacturer of Darkness”

Featuring: Dark Enchantess Cookie and Red Velvet Cookie

July 2024 🎆

• “Fork This! I Quit!”

Featuring: Timekeeper Cookie

• “The Lover of Passion” 😈

Featuring: Beast Hollyberry Cookie, Tea Knight Cookie, Pitaya Dragon Cookie and Wildberry Cookie

• “Illusion of Dreams”

Featuring: Clotted Cream Cookie

• “Ancient Heroes Roast”

Featuring: Shadow Milk Cookie

• “Mermaid to Cookie”

Featuring: Crimson Coral Cookie

• “Volition’s End”

Featuring: Mystic Flour Cookie and Cloud Haetae Cookie

• “Amigurumi”

Featuring: The Ancient Cookies

• “Ticklish” 😈

Featuring: Beast Pure Vanilla Cookie

• “Return to Sender”

Featuring: Strawberry Stick Cookie and Mint Wafer Cookie

• “It’s Gonna Be A LONG Ride”

Featuring: Numerous Cookies

• “Hissy Fits”

Featuring: Pure Vanilla Cookie and Shadow Milk Cookie

• “Gwimbly Cookie”

Featuring: Strawberry Cookie

• “Aerokinesis”

Featuring: Gingerbrave, Snakefruit Cookie and the Five Dragons

• “Heartfelt Unison”

Note: Y/N Cookie’s Skill

• “Thank You Y/N Cookie! Your Princess ISN’T in Another Castle” ⭐️

Featuring: Crowned Cupcake Cookie

• “Cookie Flipside”

Featuring: Light Cream Cookie

• “Soda Adventure 2: Draw Your Blade”

Featuring: Cream Soda Cookie and Cherry Cola Cookie

• “Superstar! The Cookie Olympics Event!”

Featuring: Ice Candy Cookie, White Choco Cookie, Choco Bar Cookie, Skating Queen Cookie and Muscle Cookie

• “I’ll Wait For Your Return”

Featuring: Caramel Arrow Cookie, Black Raisin Cookie, Stardust Cookie and White Lily Cookie

• “Raspberry Rose”

Featuring: Raspberry Mousse Cookie and Rose Cookie

• “La Resistance”

Featuring: Black Raisin Cookie

August 2023 🌅

• “Love You or Not” ⭐️

Featuring: Royal Icing Cookie

• “Lines”

Featuring: Royal Margarine Cookie, Pastry Cookie, Parfait Cookie, Twizzly Gummy Cookie and Licorice Cookie

• “Spice and Zest”

Featuring: Crushed Pepper Cookie and Lemon Zest Cookie

• “Keeping Friends Close and Best Friends Closer”

Featuring: Cream Soda Cookie and Cherry Cola Cookie

• “Compliments”

Featuring: Dark Cacao Cookie and Mystic Flour Cookie

• “Tale of the Mansion” 🍪

Featuring: The Juice Bar Regulars

• “A Little Help”

Featuring: Star Coral Cookie

• “Feathered Envy”

Featuring: Blue Slushy Cookie, Red Panna Cotta Cookie, Sugar Swan Cookie, Pilot Cookie, The Cookiemals and Whipped Cream Cookie

Divider Source l Next Masterlist l Previous Masterlist

[brittle-doughie]

[Masterlist #2]

[Masterlist #1/Main Page] >>> HERE!

Brittle’s Cookies

[Cookie Run Ovenbreak/Kingdom]

Destructive Influence (Grand Cookie Games)

Rejoice (St. Pastry Order)

Slight Detour (Grand Cookie Games)

The Deal with Ancients V2 (Golden Cheese/White Lily Cookie)

Beast Stars (The Five Beasts/Compassion AU)

Cookie to the Rescue! (Golden Osmanthus Cookie)

The 8th Dream - Y/N Cookie’s Nightmares

No Dream for You! (Dreamweaver Cookie)

Blueberry Blues (Parfaedia)

Go Smell the Flowers (Flower City)

Apologies, Apologies (Nutmeg Tiger, Golden Cheese, and Smoked Cheese Cookie)

Anticipated Arrival (Golden Cheese Cookie)

Wayward Soul (Parfaedia Cookies)

Tribute Day (Brittle OCs/Cookie Kingdom)

Five Nights, Five Dragons (The Five Dragons)

The Fool (Shadow Milk Cookie)

Spooky Cookie Tales: Watched

The Tale of the Forced Hand (Beast Cookies)

Long Time Friend (Hollyberry Kingdom)

One with the Wind! | Looking into the Wind, Piercer of Darkness Update Teaser for CRK

Feathered Envy (Dessert Paradise)

A Little Help (Star Coral Cookie)

Tale of the Mansion

Keeping Friends Close and Best Friends Closer (Cream Soda and Cherry Cola Cookie)

Superstar! The Cookie Olympics Event!

Draw Your Blade! | Looking into the Valorous Sun Tournament Update for CROB!

Cookie Flipside: Light Cream Cookie

Heartfelt Unison (Y/N Cookie skill)

Return to Sender (Strawberry Stick and Mint Wafer Cookie)

Volition’s End (Mystic Flour Cookie)

Illusion of Dreams (Clotted Cream Cookie)

The Lover of Passion HCs (Beast Hollyberry Cookie) | The Ancient Beast Order AU

The Manufacturer of Darkness

The Prophet of Salvation HCs (Beast Pure Vanilla Cookie) | The Ancient Beast Order AU

The Ancient Beast Order (Ancient Beast AU)

I Don’t Remember You (Dark Cacao and Mystic Flour Cookie)

The Walls of the Baker (Ancient and Beast Cookies)

Yin and Yang (Peach Blossom and Affogato Cookie)

Pearly Contemplation

Get Along (Dark Cacao and Mystic Flour Cookie)

Lethality (Lethal Company x Cookie Run)

Living Legend (Y/N Cookie Concept)

The Lone Giant

Longing Tide (Sea Fairy Cookie)

The Plague Approaches! | Looking into The Awakening of White Apathy Update for CRK!

No Class (Sachertorte Cookie)

Late Arrival (Dark Cacao Cookie)

Dust to Dust (Caramel Arrow Cookie)

Cocooned (Mystic Flour Cookie)

Mystic Flour is Coming…

The Wishful or the Regal (Lotus Dragon vs. Longan Dragon Cookie)

Gotta Go (The Ancient Cookies)

Under the Castle…

Timeless Kingdom - Deliciously Evil Banquet (Reader Insert)

Remember Who?

Ways of Cookie and Egg Care (The Dragons)

I Know You (Stormbringer Cookie)

Dessert Report (The Ancient Cookies)

Legendary Group Chat

A Brave Advice (Reader Insert)

The Perfect Vessel Doesn’t Exi- (The Five Beasts)

Time Balance Shenanigans (18+)

Hiding H/N, Seeking Beasts (The Five Beasts)

Welcome Back, Handycookie (TBD Update)

Flower from the Other Shore (Cherry Blossom Cookie)

Loyal Until the End (Caramel Arrow Cookie)

Costume Bond: One Heart for All, All Hearts for One.

Ingrained (Herb Cookie)

New Faces at the Witch’s Castle

Let’s Get Rolling! | Looking into the Lights, Camera, Action! Event for CROB!

What If: The First.

The Gist of The Dangerous Exchange

Let Me Be Your Princess (Princess Contest Cookie)

The Earthbread Big Seller

Bake It Till You Make It: Tasty Delights

Even More Heartbreak (Alt) - Mermaid’s Lament (White Pearl Cookie)

With Baker’s Love (Valentine’s Day 2024 Special)

A Cringe Day for Chocolates

A Witch’s Castle? [Witch’s Castle Introduction]

Storm Warning (Black Pearl Cookie)

The Cookie Run Horror - Concept #2 - “MASH”

Y/N Cookie Interactions

Reason to Stay (Elder Faerie Cookie)

Final Days (The Five Beasts)

Forced Connections

League of Evil Cookies

Spooky Cookie Tales: Prikaza

The Corrupted or the Fooled (Abyss Monarch vs. Black Pearl Cookie)

Off to Wish Camp! | A Look into CROB’s 7th Anniversary Update

Can’t Take What Isn’t Yours

Halt! The Restriction Mayhem Update

The Greedy or the Honorable (Pirate Cookie vs. Captain Ice Cookie)

Satellite (Stardust Cookie)

Cookie Details: Y/N Cookie (Mercookie Ver.)

I Remember You (Lobster and Mocha Ray Cookie)

The Heroic or the Meditated (Hero Cookie v. Ninja Cookie)

Eggcellent Easter Short

Grass is Greener Part 1 (Lilybell and Blue Lily Cookie)

[unikittybigbrightworldau]

My OCs In My Friends’ AUs

This was part of my presentation for a presentation night that @askthechronoverse, @masterjacobofficialblog and @unikittybeforethereign had in a Discord server. I’d been waiting to show them these for so long.

Imogen, in the Chronoverse, would be from the island of Alexythemia, since that’s where Charm Valley would be if it were in that AU according to Fabri. They also came up with the design for Chrono!Imogen. In Master Jacob, even though that AU is a next-gen AU, I think Imogen would still be a teenager. She’s still learning and growing, so she has this witchy student style. The blueprint for my OCs in Master Jacob are these anthro designs I drew a while ago. Imogen doesn’t have a Before The Reign design yet because StayCute is still thinking about what Master Frown and characters like him look like in that AU.

Germafrost in the Chronoverse and in Master Jacob were based on the ways Fabri and Mamækin draw Unikitty and Puppycorn, since I’ve always thought that lots of dogs and cats in their world look like them. In the Chronoverse, Ice Cream Land would be way up in the North Pole region of Meraki. On MJ!Germafrost’s sleeves, there are the patterns of the three flavors (strawberry, vanilla and chocolate). In Before The Reign, he’s a long-haired German shepherd who looks like a puppy because he’s canonically babyfaced. I think I might’ve put his icicle horn too high on his head.

Piano’s Chronoverse design is based on Fabri’s Valentine for me. Her dress is patterned like wedding cakes because she’s partly a wedding cake-flavored ice cream creature. In Master Jacob, she wears a stylish winter coat I found on the web, but with lots of extra sparkles and crocuses because she wouldn’t just wear it like it is. For Before The Reign!Piano, I had trouble deciding what species of sheep she was. I found this white, long-wooled type of sheep called Heath sheep, which have horns like her dad does. Her wool looks creamy because, again, it’s ice cream. StayCute said that BTR!Dr. Fox is still bipedal and still wears a lab coat, so Piano would also stand on two legs and wear her usual attire.

Fabri said that the Marevian merpeople in the Chronoverse would live in the Commuovere Sea and have a candy/ice cream theming. Chrono!Waterlily has satellite wafers for her bell, cotton candy and dragon’s beard candy to represent her light, dreamy nature, and candied lotus seeds for her jewelry. Master Jacob!Waterlily is wearing a dress with motifs of her namesake flower. As for Before the Reign!Waterlily… I tried. She’s a combination of a moon jelly and a sea nettle, but she looks more humanoid because she’s a mermaid. Apparently, those clover-shaped marks in moon jellies are supposed to be where their mouths (and also their butts) are, so I moved that down to where Lily’s mouth is.

Chronoverse!Spike’s candy themes are black licorice and honey. I did the licorice motifs for his spines and legs, and honey motifs for his torso. (He’s also wearing a honey yellow headband.) I picked honey because it has a sunny yellow glow and because it’s supposed to be good for your throat. I tried to imagine how Mamækin would draw his spines in Master Jacob. In any anthro version of Spike, I’ve always imagined that he has a bunch of rings and long black sea urchin-y fingernails. Before the Reign!Spike is a combo of a Caribbean reef octopus (because he was born in a coral reef) and a black sea urchin. But, again, he’s more humanoid because he’s a merman.

Botania in the Chronoverse is hidden within the enchanted Matutolypea Forest and extends out into the desert. Fabri said that if they were running things, they would take influence from Lego Elves for the fairies. So, for Chrono!Allegra, I combined a trapeze artist’s outfit with motifs of Aira, the wind elf. I feel as though Fabri would make her hairstyle look more like the hair hang. The fairies’ size doesn’t change in any of the universes, so they’re still really small. Before the Reign!Allegra has this looping braid. She’s supposed to be a clouded yellow butterfly, so I tried to replicate their wing pattern. I actually found this image showing what females’ wing patterns look like. Just like with the merpeople, she looks more humanoid being a fairy.

Chrono!Zora’s outfit is influenced by Azari, the fire elf, because he travels around drier areas and is comforted by fire. In Master Jacob, Zora has that same adventurer/desert garb look I gave him in his anthro because it suits him to a T. He’s supposed to be a dragontail butterfly, and it was pretty tricky for me to get his wings right for his Before the Reign design. He also looks more humanoid, being a fairy and all. His braid goes over the top of his head and falls behind his wings in the back.

[amitapaul]

Day 23

Poem 29

29/23

THE CHAIR

1

The chair, the desk,

the large rooms,

the cubicled sections

the long corridors

the colonnaded porticos

and the lawns

with formal borders

a crooked fir tree

graceful frangipani

bougainvillea and quisqualis

and the bridal creeper

trailing over

the boundary walls

I never really knew

how much the gardens

meant to me

and the vases of flowers

on the tables

2.

Teatime was always the best of times

and of course it was always teatime

Well, after eleven o’clock, definitely

Bearers in white with red cummerbunds

and ornate turbans of red and white

with gold piping seen here and there

between the folds, and a stiff hoopoe’s crest

of starched white mulmul topping the confection

could be seen soundlessly floating up and down

the gleaming corridors of power with polished door of teak and mahogany opening on both sides

amidst the potted palms and aspidistras

bearing silver trays with silver teapots

( later steel ) and milkpots and sugarpots

spoons and strainers and starched damask napkins

with Brittania Marie Wafer Biscuits and trail mixes

of spicy salted vermicelli and roasted gram and pulses

at the very least ; at best piping hot samosas

plump with mashed spiced peas and potatoes

served with a dash of Kissan’s tomato sauce

which is in fact mostly made of pumpkin

and ice- cold rosogullas in their own syrup

or sugar- bombs of soft sticky hot gulabjamuns

served with fresh hot Darjeeling tea

O the tinkling of those spoons in those teacups !

and the tiny clouds of steam rising like mini dragons

from each fine porcelain or bone-china tea-cup when tea was poured from the hot teapot pot

into each translucent cup, table brewed -

a soupçon of milk, and one sugar, please .

3.

The gossip was always hotter and spicier

than the snacks and the tea, especially

in the rooms of the departments of personnel

finance and cabinet coordination, especially

on Tuesday afternoons, when the Cabinet

usually met, and transfers and postings were decided :

you could see hacks from over a dozen newspapers

eager for slivers of news that even a passing peon

could drop, before the big feast of the post- cabinet

Press Conference, with pakoras and pineapple pastries

and ready- mixed tea from aluminium tea kettles

for official spokespersons, assistants, clerks,

and media persons. Four thirty to five o’clock

in the afternoon in the Secretariat Conference Hall

under the pink Clock Tower in the Old Secretariat.

4.

To sit for hours

in colour- blocked

salwar - kameez-

dupatta- jacket

poring over petitions

and yellowed pages

of the law books

and “ reporters “

of High Court

and Supreme Court

Judgements with

titles and years

etched on their

covers and spines

in gold on red black

or brown leather

sparring with lawyers

in their black coats

and gowns and stiff

starched white collars

bow ties and recording

evidence and citing

precedents and dictating

judgements in tones

sonorous to drowsy

stenographers

5.

Upstairs in the record room with the port- hole windows

records from a hundred fifty years ago were slowly

falling apart among the district gazetteers, and the clerks

and record- keepers wheezed and coughed

with asthma and tuberculosis, driving up the costs

of medical reimbursement.

6.

One day the marigold garlands and rose bouquets

came out in cartloads and speeches were delivered

framed and presented to a jolly good “ fellow”

and a farewell ride given on a car pulled by colleagues.

That night, a buffet dinner at a posh hotel.

Then silence, more or less.

7.

Cholai, the principal under- gardner,

brought home a bunch of handpicked flowers

on my birthday .

We had some tea and biscuits

and a pleasant chat in the verandah.

Birds sang to us - I , relaxed on my rattan recliner,

He , very proper, on a polished shisham chair.

( ASA )

23/4/23

#23GloPoWriMo

Poem 29

[delightingintragedy]

Hekate Correspondences According to Hekate Liminal Rites by Sorite d'Este

Goddess of: Crossroads, thresholds, boundaries, transitions, dreams and nightmares, oracles and divination, life and death, the restless dead, witchcraft and herbalism/poisons, protection, childbirth, the heavens, sea and earth.

Epithets: Chthonia (earthly one), Dadouchos (torch-bearer), Enodia ('of the wayside' or 'of the crossroad'), Kleidouchos (key-bearer), Kourotrophos (child's nurse), Phosphorus (light-bearer), Propolos (companion), Propylaia (the one before the gate), Soteira (savior), Triformis (three bodied), Trioditis (of the three ways), Brimo (angry/terrifying), Nexichthon (she who breaks open the earth), Prytania (invincible queen).

Symbols: Keys, torches, the moon, lunar crescent diadem, bronze/brass (her sacred metal), iron (particularly nails), bronze or golden sandals, virgin, garland/wreath, scorge, whips, sickles, swords, knives, wands, things done in threes, the strophalos, white, black, red, and saffron yellow.

Animal Associations: Lions, (black) dogs, horses, cows/bulls, hydras, snakes, bats, and dragons.

Plant Associations: Rue, laurel, cumin, sesame seeds, cornels, asphodel, maidenhair, rushes, galangal, verbena, sage, hedge-mustard, purple honeysuckle, cassidony, field basil. mandrake, hulwort, dittany, saffron, nose-smart, lion-foot, greenbriar, camomile, black poppy, alcua, all-heal, white hellebore, aconite, oak, ebony, garlic, and cypress.

Deities She's Worshiped With: Demeter and Kore (Eleusinian mysteries), Poseidon, and Hermes.

Deities She Absorbed: Brimo, Despoina, Enodia, Genetyllis, Kotys, Kratais, and Kourotrophos.

Deities She's Syncretised With: Artemis, Selene, Mene, Persephone, Physis, Bendis, Bona Dea, Diana, Ereschigal, and Isis.

Offerings: Dogs, goats, lizards (this can be something in their shape), incense and fragrances, resins like frankincense, myrrh, and storax, wafers and cakes, barley cakes, honey, vegetables, first fruits, flowers, fish like sprat and mullet, wine, milk, blood, oil, water, raw eggs, bread, cheese, and cheesecakes.

Types of Magic Historically Attributed to Her: Rejuvenation of the old, control over weather, necromancy/raising the dead, purification, love/binding/relationship destroying magic, invisibility/to move unseen, shapeshifting, control over animals, herbal/poison magic, and divination.

[harrenhals]

Summerhall Solstice: A Song of Ice & Fire + gothic horror

Jeyne Poole & Angela Carter’s The Bloody Chamber

Based on the story of Bluebeard, The Bloody Chamber tells the story of a teenage girl who marries an older, wealthy man. She soon realizes the full extent of his perverse and murderous tendencies when she discovers the bodies of his previous wives, presented in gruesome ways. In both the original folktale and The Bloody Chamber, keys are a reoccurring motif. In both stories, the girl drops the key to the chamber in a pool of blood which cannot be washed out. 

“So, for the opera, I wore a sinuous shift of white muslin tied with a silk string under the breasts. [...] the white dress; the frail child within it; and the flashing crimson jewels around her throat, bright as arterial blood.” - The Bloody Chamber

“The bride was shivering too. They had dressed her in white lambswool trimmed with lace. Her sleeves and bodice were sewn with freshwater pearls, and on her feet were white doeskin slippers—pretty, but not warm. Her face was pale, bloodless.” - The Prince of Winterfell, A Dance with Dragons

“Keys of all kinds - huge ancient things of black iron; others slender, delicate, almost baroque; wafer-thin Yale keys for safes and boxes.” - The Bloody Chamber

“Even if he found some secret way out, Theon would not have trusted it. He had not forgotten Kyra and her keys.” - The Turncloak, A Dance with Dragons

“There was a Marquis, once, who used to hunt young girls on the mainland; he hunted them with dogs, as though they were foxes.” - The Bloody Chamber

“Ben Bones, who liked the dogs better than their master, had told Reek they were all named after peasant girls Ramsay had hunted, raped, and killed back when he'd still been a bastard, running with the first Reek. ‘The ones who give him good sport, anywise. The ones who weep and beg and won't run don't get to come back as bitches.’“ - Reek III, A Dance with Dragons

[mushroomjeremy]

SCP but as Food v1

I was going to make these into warm up sketches to practice drawing food, but feel like sharing. Here are some weird version of a small collection of SCP as food. It's a small mix between anomalies made it to food or just food vaguely based on them.

~~~

I'm a sucker for keys so here's the ones useful for this post. If some of these are null squares theres nothing I can do.

How it written:

🤍- Havent written up yet/vague idea

💗- Detailed recipes

👑 - Either the foods is to much food or to many different foods

🔧 - Self Assembly 

Type:

🍞- Bakery

🥩 - Grilled

🥣- Soup 

🍨 - Dessert

🍬- Candy

🥗- Salads

🥤- Drink

🥃- Alcohol

🍶- Condiment

Diet:

🐜- Arthropods/Insects

🥬- Vegetarian 

🍖- Meat

🐟- Fish

Taste:

🔥- Spicy

🍯- Sweet

Ingredients:

🧀 - Cheese

☢ - Blood/raw meat/raw egg/fermentation are an ingredient

🧭 - Exotic aka made of stuff real hard to get or just don't exist (examples being tree syrups not from maples, raw reindeer meat, anomalous item themselves, ect.)

~~~

SCP 001 The Scarlet King 🤍 ☢👑

A full table of 3 full seven course meals, one for each law (Blood, Howling, Concrete) Law of Blood food probably has blood, something that make the food offly red like beets, and spicy. Law of Concrete is stuff that just powders or looks like a brick or both. Law of Howling is going to be tricky.

SCP 009 🧭🥤🍯

Red ice cherry slushie

SCP 058 🍖🔥🥩

Spicy grilled beef heart with sauteed onions and red chimichurri sauce

SCP 111 🧭🐜 🔥

Spicy dragon snail escargot

Scp 166 ☢🧭🥗🍖

Reindeer carpaccio salad

SCP 999 💗🍞🍨🍯

Tart layered with jam, whip cream, and orange jello topped with a candied blood orange

SCP 1489 🤍

Mutton fusilli bucati pasta dish with a grey or black coloring to it

SCP 2317 🥤🔧 

Self-brewing cinnamon hazelnut coffee on hot salt (like Turkish coffee)

SCP 2360 🤍🍞🥤

Oil/metal looking doritos, drip, and energy drink (GFuel offbrand)

SCP 3001 💗🍬🥬

Large pomegranate boba pearl encased in a hard candy shell topped with black cherry carmel drizzle

SCP 3301 🍨🔧

Gingerbread house kit that makes a small world map.

SCP 3739  🧀

Mind Milk™ cottage cheese bowl 

SCP Yeah that one ☢🥣🍖🔥🍶

Spicy blood stew with chuck roast topped with white habanero n pineapple hot sauce

A - Spicy veal sausage. A whole big roll of it.

B - Ghost pepper corn chowder

Dr. Bright 🤍

Place holder to show that a food item based off scp 963 isnt the same as a food item based off Jack Bright himself. Thinking something made with whiskey/moonshine or just straight up a whiskey or moonshine… or both honestly.

Dr. Clef 💗🧭🍞

Three colored waffles (one blue, one green, and a barley one) sandwiched between with coconut sugar glaze than topped with thick corn chowder and unnecessary large amount of Corymbia terminalis sap syrup (I have no idea if that sap is even edible/if you can even tap the tree to get enough to make a syrup)

Lady Agora 🤍🍞 🍨

Blood Cornbread Bread Pudding with red colored custard and honey also maybe some herbs/spices/flowers with some magic meanings.

Pangloss 🤍

Little Diy Hotpot

Children of the Scarlet King🥃🍯

Warm red koolaid with alcohol and clumpy jello also candied blood orange and salty foam topping with sour or cinnamon rimming.

Chr*stian Ministries of America🤍 ☢ (I hate censoring stuff but im really not in the mood for the jesus people that dont know this is a fictional group today, be glad I haven't done the vore jesus one yet)

Can Jeremy not place actual blood in a food for once? It’s harder than you’d think. Thinking blood wine… or that weird communion wafer nachos.

Pope Soap Costk Crosstest 🤍 ☢ 🐟

Spicy raw squid with edible foam, also maybe blood sauce dipping and/or apples/whale blubber

~~~

I hope someone enjoy reading this cursed cookbook of ideas. I think I got pretty creative and most stuff here is edible with some just needing replacement ingredients for unattainable items... except all the blood recipes that can be made just cook your pasteurized blood correctly for your own sake.

[kaileeandag]

Items in Alana’s Collection!

She has quite a bit of stuff, due to her mom being the primary breadwinner in the family.

Meet Outfit (Ozzfest 2002 t-shirt, blue jeans, and red and black Heely’s shoes with white socks) Meet Accessories (comes with a non-functioning glacier clear Game Boy Advance with a Pokemon Crystal game cartridge in the slot, pictures from the games Pokemon Red, Pokemon Yellow, Pokemon Gold, Pokemon Crystal, Hamtaro: Ham Hams Unite!, and The Powerpuff Girls Battle Him, autographed picture of the band Drowning Pool, sparkly light blue purse from Limited Too monogramed with the letter ‘A’, heart shaped Barbie locket containing a picture of Alana and her dad as well as a picture of Alana and her (step) mom Diana in Poland in 1998, and Hamtaro plush toy)

School Collection: -Alana’s School Supplies (light purple Hamtaro backpack, two FiveStar brand notebooks, a 5th grade math textbook, three pencils in a pink Hamtaro pencil case, and an eraser) -Alana’s Lunch Box (Dragon Ball Z lunchbox with a picture of Goku on the front, comes with these pretend food items: peanut butter sandwich with grape jelly, a pouch of orange Tang, fudge brownie dessert Lunchable, and a bag of raspberries) -Alana’s School Lunch (red lunch tray with these pretend food items: four french toast sticks with a cup of syrup, a sausage patty, applesauce, and a carton of milk)

Holiday Collection: -Alana’s Special Day Outfit (sparkly purple dress with black bolero, navy blue tights, and black mary janes) -Alana’s Nintendo Gamecube console and games (non-functional, indigo color and comes with screenshots from these games: The Simpsons Road Rage, Super Smash Bros. Melee, Luigi’s Mansion, Animal Crossing, Crash Bandicoot: The Wrath of Cortex, and Resident Evil 2002 remake) -Alana’s Gamecube Games (cases only, comes with these games and screenshots from each: Metroid Prime, Super Mario Sunshine, and Mario Party 4) -Alana’s Game Boy Advance games (each cartridge is non-functional, got these games: Mega Man Battle Network 1 and 2, Super Mario World Super Mario Advance 2, and Kirby: Nightmare in Dreamland) -Alana’s Christmas Ornaments and Crafts (comes with these crafts and ornaments: empty jar of Gerber baby food decorated with glitter and pictures of snowmen, a homemade star ornament with Alana’s school picture on it, and a circular ornament containing a picture of Alana, her (step)mom Diana, and her dad Trevor)

Spring Collection: -Flame Red Game Boy Advance SP with Pokemon Sapphire game (game and system are non-functional, got the game on release day-March 19th,2003-and the system when it came out a few days later, on March 23rd, 2003) -Alana’s Spring Outfit (the outfit is a navy blue pair of capris, a solid navy blue tank top with sparkly decal, and a pair of baby blue and tan sandals) -Alana’s cat Pancake and Cat Bed (a black cat with a collar reading ‘Pancake Ashman’, comes with a pink cat bed) -Hamtaro: Ham Ham Heartbreak game (non-functional, comes with screenshots from the game)

Summer Collection: -Alana’s Game Boy Player (non-functional, accessory for her Gamecube enabling her to play Game Boy games, bought prior to leaving for Poland) -Alana’s Swimsuit (a blue and green Tankini from Limited Too) and Hamtaro towel -Alana’s Polish Sweets and Snacks (comes with these pretend food items: a Prince Polo chocolate wafer bar, Ptasie Mleczko chocolate covered milk meringue candy, a slice of Sernik cheesecake, and a bag of Akuku jelly filled gummies) -Alana’s Polish Flag (a doll sized Polish flag) -Alana’s McDonald’s Poland Meal (comes with these pretend food items: McChicken burger, medium fry, a cup of Sprite, and fried apple pie) -Pokemon Pinball Ruby and Sapphire game (non-functional, comes with screenshots from the game, bought in late August of 2003)

Birthday Collection: -Final Fantasy Tactics Advance game (non-functional, comes with screenshots of the game) (got after her birthday passed) -The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker game (case only, comes with screenshots from the game) -Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg game (case only, comes with screenshots from the game) (got after her birthday passed) -Alana’s Birthday Outfit (sparkly green tank top with navy blue shorts and brown sandals) -Alana’s Pool and Poolside Accessories (comes with an in-ground style pool with a Hamtaro towel different from the one that came with her swimsuit, and a Swimming Champion Barbie doll)

Winter Collection: -Game Boy Advance Games (non-functional copies with screenshots from these games: Fire Emblem and Harvest Moon: Friends of Mineral Town) -Alana’s Hat and Mittens (black and red mittens with matching hat) -Alana’s Navy Blue Winter Coat and Black Snow Boots -Alana’s Gamecube Games (cases with screenshots of these games: The Simpsons Hit & Run and Spongebob Squarepants: Battle for Bikini Bottom)

Bedtime Collection: -Alana’s Bed and Bedding (twin bed with a light blue comforter with Black Eyed Susan flower decals) -Alana’s Pajamas (blue pajamas with a chihuahua decal on the shirt and pants) -Alana’s Red Nightgown with Matching Slipper Socks -Alana’s Bijou plush toy (stuffed animal of the character Bijou from Hamtaro) -Alana’s American Girl Doll (mini size Molly doll) -Alana’s Bathroom and Beauty Accessories (sparkly blue Limited Too hair dryer, sparkly blue Limited Too nail dryer, sparkly blue Limited Too GirlCare Caboodle containing pretend nail polish, and Juice Bar Gummy Bear scented pretend body spray) -Alana’s TV and console (non-functional, comes with a pretend DVD player attached with screenshots from these shows: The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy, Hamtaro, Yu-Yu Hakusho, Courage The Cowardly Dog, Ed Edd n Eddy, and Spongebob Squarepants. The Gamecube from her Holiday Collection can be attached to the TV)

Extra Outfits and Accessories: -Alana’s Bazyli toy dragon (a stuffed animal of Bazyli, a dragon from the Polish adaption of Sesame Street called Ulica Sezamkowa) (bought when she was last in Poland in the late 90′s) -Alana’s Sleepover Set (black and pink sleeping bag, copy of the 2002 live action Scooby Doo with screenshots from the movie, pretend pepperoni pizza and three pretend bottles of water, pretend bowl of popcorn, and a bag of pretend Baked Lays Sour Cream & Onion chips) -Spongebob Chapter Book Collection (comes with these Spongebob chapter books: New Student Starfish, Hall Monitor, Tea at the Treedome, Sandy’s Rocket, The World’s Greatest Valentine, and Naughty Nautical Neighbors)

[lovemesomesurveys]

NAME SOMETHING BEGINNING WITH THE LETTER PROVIDED FOR EACH CATEGORY: LETTER B A Beverage Beer. A Mammal Bear. Something You Drive Boat. A City Boise. Free Activity Board games (after the initial buy of course) Someplace you would spend money Bowling alley. A Cartoon Character Blue from Blue’s Clues. A Sea Creature Blue whales. A Comedy Movie Bridesmaids. A Children's Book The Berenstain Bears books. A Dessert Banana bread. A Boy's Name Brian. A Girl's Name Brianna.

LETTER M An Old Fashioned Boy's Name Michael. Items That are Frozen Milkshakes. Television Show From the 2000's Mad TV. A River Maple River. A Vegetable Mushrooms. A Fruit Melons. Things That are Yellow Mangoes. Trees Maple trees. Marching Band Instrument Mellophone. College Subject Math. Dish Made From Pasta Macaroni and cheese. Book about Animals Mammals by Edwin Gould. An Insect Monarch butterfly. LETTER C Type of Sport Croquet.  A Poem Title Child Whispers by Enid Blyton. Part of the Human Body Chin. An old Fashioned Girl's Name Carol. An Ethnic Dish Curry. Type of Transportation Car. A School Supply Colored pencils. An Item found in a Library Computers. A Type of Bird Cardinal. A Type Of Flower Carnations. Types of Shoes Crocs. A Halloween Costume Clown. LETTER T Flavour Of Ice Cream Triple chocolate. An Actor Toby Maguire. An Actress Tina Fey. A Television Series That’s So Raven. Types of Balls Tennis balls. An Animal in a Zoo Tiger.

Things found in a park Trees. Types of Cats Tabby. A gemstone/crystal Topaz.   A reason a child may be grounded Talking back. A colour Turquoise. Something found in a work office Table. LETTER E Book Author Elle Gray. 

Country England. 

Something that is round Earth. Types of Clothing Earmuffs?  Games played at school recess/lunch Eenie meenie miney mo? lol not a game, but I literally can’t think of anything that stars with an E. A Mammal Elephants. Types of Relatives Extended. A Holiday Destination Europe. Something found in a Forest Evergreen trees. A Colour Eggplant purple. LETTER P Sports Star Peyton Manning. Restaurant Pizza Hut. A Villian Poison Ivy. A Superhero Peter Quill aka Star Lord. A Toy Polly Pockets. A Weapon Pistol. Something that is Square Picture frame. Something used by a bodybuilder Protein powder. Something you would find in a bathroom Paper towels. Something found in a backyard Playground (like a swing set). A Dessert Pie. Type of Exercise Push-ups. Something found in space Planets. LETTER S Something at a picnic Sandwiches. An Athlete Serena Williams. A Body part Stomach. Someplace you want to visit Sweden. An Occupation Secretary. Name Brand Swiss Miss. Something associated with Christmas Santa. Something at a Theme Park The swings ride. A Frozen Food Sorbet. Something you would keep refrigerated Soda. Something Green Spinach. A random word Spaz. LETTER A A State Alabama. A Tool Axe. Something found in a cafeteria Avocados? lol I got nothin’. Something found on a farm Animals. ha. A fear Agoraphobia. Something Sweet Apple fritter. A Dental Procedure A root canal. A Perfume Amor Amor. A Type of Candy Almond Joy. A Type of Chocolate Andies mint chocolate. An Accessory Ankle bracelet. Things Used by the Handicapped Assistive devices. Sounds an animal makes Alerting sounds. LETTER F Something Hot Fire. Something Cold Frozen drinks. A Breakfast Food Fried eggs. A Graduation Gift Funds. A Type of Drink Frappe. Something found in or by the ocean Fish. A Hobby Fishing. A Child Actor/Actress Elle Fanning. A Health Issue/Complication Fibromyalgia.

A Type of Cheese Feta. A Type of Transportation Ferry. A reason to be late Feeling unwell. A profession Firefighter. LETTER G Something that is cold Gelato. A Topping for Pizza Garlic. A College George Washington University. Something with Spots Goals. An Item found in a dresser drawer Gloves. A Way To Relax Gel eye masks. Something found in the Sky Giant clouds. Type of Bread Garlic bread. Something Australian A popular ice cream, Golden Gaytime. A Food: Fried chicken. Something Pink Flamingos. LETTER W Fictional Character Walter White. An Item on a Lunch menu Wheat bread. A Magazine Woman’s Day. A Book Wicked. Something with a Tail Wolf. A Crime I’m blanking. Vanilla Item Vanilla wafers. A Type of Popcorn White cheddar. A Large Ticket Item (Something expensive) Weight machines. An Item you'd find in your grandmas kitchen Whitman’s chocolate. A Dog Toy Kong Wobbler. An Item found in a backyard Water hose. LETTER H Something Sticky Honey. An Award Honor roll. Type of Vehicle Honda. A Herb Horseradish. A Utensil for Cooking Herb chopper. Cosmetics Huda Beauty. A Bad Habit Habitual nail biting. A Reptile Hairy Frog. A Scandal Home wrecker. Monthly Expense Household bills. A Leisure Activity Hobbies. Something found on a Construction Site Hardhat.  LETTER D A Pet Name Dino. A Toy Dolls. Something you can buy used Dresser. A Game Dungeons and Dragons. A Clothing Company Dickies. On Your Feet Doc Martens.  A Candy Dove chocolate. Something you Love Desserts. Someone Famous Dakota Fanning. A Bird Dove. Something you'd pack in a suitcase Deodorant. An Animal Dog. A Website Doordash.com A Cereal I saw that Dunkaroos is a cereal now. LETTER N A Name Nicole. A Food Snack Nachos. An Animal Newt. Something Red Nesquik’s strawberry syrup. Something Blue Navy uniform. Something you can see close by Nice painting by my uncle. An Occupation Nurse. A Movie Napoleon Dynamite. A reason to be late Nauseous. Something you can cook French fries (in the oven). Something you can bake Funfetti cupcakes. LETTER R A piece of stationary Ruler. A place you can visit Rome. Something you'd find in Disneyland Railroad. Something you could use at a BBQ Relish. A Name Rebecca. Something Black Black roses. A type of Car Rolls-Royce. Something in the office Rolling chair. Something Green Radish. LETTER O An Animal Orangutan. A Sea Creature Octopus. Something you would find at an arcade Uhh. A Name Olivia. An Australian Animal Olive Ridley turtle. Something in Nature Ocean. Wildlife Ostrich. A Soda Orange soda. A Colour Orange. A Movie Oliver and Company. A Television Series Once Upon a Time. A Bird Owl. A Medical Procedure Obstetric ultrasonography. Something from History Operation Overlord. Something you would Paint Original piece. A Country Oman. Something Sweet Orange popsicle.

[clownmeat242]

the big, brown beaded rosary above my grandparents’ bed

a big, bulky backpack full of my dads things

a stick used to pry mud

an apple that stayed very good after a long time

pink, purple, and blue lava lamps

a special yellow lava lamp

an angel baby statuette, lying down holding a moon

2 special, blue coral dolphin figurines, 4 dolphins, 2 dolphins each

a mood bracelet

blue bangles with colorful gemstones

a card id that was my dad’s death identification

a big, interconnected dmv online system with games

a nun’s headdress

various gummy candy

christmas light lawn deer decorations

photographs of my dad

a photograph of my grandpa with my two young cousins

a plastic bag full of yellow rice and shrimp

my dad’s eggs

the string across sierra’s window with our things hanging from it

american flag sunglasses

a brown cigar box

a silver elk creature with silver chains hanging from it

black swirls of death

these goggle-like glasses that would have parts that would pop off when trying to be fixed

a clear, dry glue stick

a bitten off, red ring pop that resembled a pacifier

a peppa pig baby phone toy

a baby book with blue writing and bees all around it, saying “the cross dressing” something

the blue can of axe spray from 2016

my grandpa’s computer

clear, star shaped boxes of blue slime with pink beads

carrot cake

the red ball toy with the cat in the hat on it, from my childhood

a bulky, purple, show poodle toy

an oval shaped virgin mary necklace with a golden crown

a bigger, heavier, circular, holographic necklace of mary, joseph and jesus, with a message about love

a halloween wall decoration of a group of people wearing pink with blank faces

little sims 4 ghost light decorations

fancy bathtubs with buckets to collect water from them

chocolate straws and wafers

a big hole in the sand that resembled one my dad used to dig

the aloe vera plant on grandma’s balcony

the beaded necklace i made with cheap walmart beads, with a part of the ohio bead necklace attached to it

a deep blue, circular pendant of mary and jesus

this virgin mary, religious box and a mary/joseph/jesus figurine

a note written to a teacher about “what my grandpa did to me”

the rose lamp in my room

my puppy angel container

my backpack, stolen by my grandpa

sierra and i’s black notebook

a big toy bear that was actually a real bear

buttered toast

incomplete clown outfits

contradicting black/white couches

metal rods shoved through little mind people holding them in place, dead together

gratuitous cupcakes with baby blue icing

a mix of games i created with a crash code, crashing into itself like a death game black hole

orange juice

my jar of piercings, while my earrings were all missing from my ears

a big grey fountain with a statue virgin mary in the middle of it

mary made of the same opaque glass as the light angel

a documentary about the women who lived in the pink virgin mary house, as well as a youth group

a map of a beach area where mary was born

a metal helmet with little wings

dark black scribble drawings in my old puppy notebook

a drawing about something having to do with protecting the precious innocence of a child

a meth pipe with meth in it

a magnifying glass

a green backpack that belonged to my different dream parents, full of old photographs

golden tooth/gums dog implants

silver paw print dog tag

yellow greyhound bus tickets from savannah, georgia to west virginia

dried chunk of ramen noodles

a handful of clear dog teeth

a bag of blood to drink

my red axe, that i bestowed upon an ally

the blue manatee towel from my childhood

a thing that looked like a bowling pin but it was a “clown drink” and spawned in random places

holographic religious picture in my wallet

alcohol bottles at the store to smash

my clover ring (it’s “lost”)

blue toy unicorns, severed doll heads, naked barbies

a big heart collage figurine thing that my aunt created for me, with a bible verse, a glued picture of me when i was a child on green sea glass, a framed heart photo of my little cousin, a crying fairy angel figurine on top, a candle, and a figurine of st. francis crying, kneeling. it was stuck together with this movable white glue so it would come apart, but it was together.

these book pages that could have paint extracted from them

drawers that could only be opened with passcode

chicken patties that were cooked over and over, dropped in the same places, and eaten

blue ice pops that appeared frozen but were liquid

lemon flavored chips

a letter with evil energy written to me, with thick, scribbly distressed black writing, that said “GET SOME HELP” with a $500 bill, and on the back more unintelligible crayon writing, with 2 names, zesh & halla, and a pumpkin drawing

a shining blue orb in the sky with a mermaid inside, floating down to my grandma’s balcony and created energy

my mom’s teenage ring

a big box of tools

reflective mirror glasses

a screen that “needed repairing”

a dress up game where you could turn a man’s head into the head of a gorilla

2 stacks of childhood photos that i gave to an undeserving person, to look through

an alternate instagram account of someone i knew in middle school where he was dead and it was his memory page

a candid photo of 3 people i knew in middle school

donny’s white truck that i messed up somehow by turning the wheels on gravel

a huge container full of yellow pacifiers

a piece of paper that someone wrote “angel” on

a pink key and a red key

a huge stack of hay that could kill people by rolling over them

the window of a pool supply store with blue art of angels ascending

money that looked like superman cards

a purple vape with a synthetic marijuana substance (paranoia, hallucinations) called axlaxl

a pink box with feminine personal effects

huge cardboard boxes of fruit, stacked on top of small beer boxes stacked on top of each other

a red toy soldier holding a bazooka (counterpart)

a rainbow jumprope stuck in the dirt attached to roots

a huge yellow goodyear semi truck

a small amount of weed in an old altoids can

my dad’s red box of drill bits

my old purple bike

classic bubble gum

my green converse that had something written on them like “cage the lamb”

my tragic clown statue that and had its porcelain coat turned inside out to be a rodeo vest

a white pair of boxers with burgers, fries and soda pops, and another pair over them, cut and snipped

a golden outdoor christmas display of the virgin mary, joseph and jesus

a gargantuan statue of the virgin mary looking down at the ground, wearing a light blue veil, towering over the church

a mermaid drawing on a whiteboard

a white sheet tied up with a black and pink easter egg inside that could put a fully grown human inside of it

pink, rose shaped bouncy ball that lit up, and once lit it wouldn’t ever stop lighting up, a pumpkin one too

food tickets that could get you rice drowned in vegetable water

orange frog displays in dirt

a designated frog hat that lets the people know who the leader is

“angel water” in green vials

aztec heads in the pool bathroom

huge dead roaches

a box of ham

a cat angel statue

2 cherubs made of clay, had water dumped on them and they melted

tall blue flip flops

a white friday the 13th lighter

a white “the shining” lighter that had “jack” written in blood on a hotel wall

an airline called “popair”

silver hanging nipple rings, a silver chain and half blue, half red pants

severed amusement park parts being taken away in a white van

a box of nails/screws, a big black box

bamboo trees

a big ball of chocolate

my skyrim dragon keychain

a drawing pad with 2 girls kissing

a faucet that soaked everything

a disgusting poem written by my grandpa “lathered in water, a son and a daughter, how exquisite”

a red squishy bear toy

[alyseofwonderland]

Alyse Reads The Goldfinch, Part 2

What follows is my best attempt at liveblogging. I had the books as an audiobook in hopes that I could keep it from taking even more of my life from me. This was perhaps a mistake. I think I broke Siri trying to make notes. The notes that are rambly are the ones I dictated.

I entirely blame @rollono​ for my suffering. But I am also aware that it seems to give her joy. 

Every time I reference Tara, I am talking about @wellntruly​ who’s own live blog of the book was the only roadmap I had to follow in this waterlogged wasteland of a novel.

Part 1

I thought Tara was making up the Camel-hair coat bit but APPARENTLY NOT.

Architecture has that much to do with the city and or northern Europe, really? I mean, “whitewash” doesn't everybody do that?

Nina ( @proud-librarian​ ) is going to have a lot to say about their descriptions of the Netherlands and Amsterdam in this book. like oh my God!

Theo Deckard doesn't understand how thermostats work.

This isn't satire? I don't understand we're like three minutes in and it has to be satire. right. right?

Who the hell says my mother and I didn't like my father much? like what.... what is this? what am I reading? what is happening? what.... I don't understand.... okay maybe fine whatever

This feels like it should be... I don't know.... satire is the word I'm looking for again. I don't want to just repeat what Tara, said but Jesus. the start of the story is he is rich enough to have a Doorman but not rich enough to afford the fancy private school, and him and his friends break into vacation homes in the Hamptons. what is this? what is this? I just... just.... just write a Jane Austen or Lord Byron novel if that's what you want to do just do that. do that.

My audiobook app just turned itself off in the middle of a passage because it decided I didn't need to listen to Theo talk about whatever he was talking about.

Curse you, Donna Tartt, for also being in the "all things coconut smell like suntan lotion" club. I did not want to have this in common with you.

I am laughing so hard it turns silent into my steering wheel because the audiobook reader makes Tom Cable sound like a surfer dude from the 70s,  and I. cannot. handle. that.

"I like to think of myself as a perceptive person" is basically the way that I know that Theo has about Harry Potter level skills of observation when it comes to the people around him.

Y'all this book would be so much better if Theo actually thought like a 13-year-old that he is supposed to be in the intro part. That would just be peak comedy, which is really what I'm looking for.

Audrey Decker and the Laura Moon from American gods are now the two people that I have ever known to call men "puppy" which I still find alarming, in both cases. Surprisingly they also both die, so I guess more things they have in common.

The longer this book goes on the more clear it is that I am not bougie enough for its contents. ( timestamp 30 minutes)

(GIF BY @rollono​ BY MY REQUEST FOR EVERY TIME THIS BOOK MAKES ME FEEL POOR)

I just can't suspend my disbelief enough to think that a 13-year-old would know this much about their parent's job and be able to ask questions. I'm trying to think of what my dad was doing when I was 13, and I mean I know where he worked, and I know who his boss was, but if you tried to ask me daily issues or me giving advice... oh my gosh. I just can't. nobody talks like this.

I’m making a face akin to Kermit the frog. 

I threw up in my mouth a little at the description of Pippa walking past in the museum.

Did we just describe a 12-year-old girl's arms as marble? is that what just happened? did I just have to listen to that?

Theo has given me a lot of like “Golden State killer” vibes right now with his desire to poke around through all these people's homes and stuff. like this is clearly the Visalia ransacker's motivation in the 70s. I know too much about true crime, that's what's happening right now.

The true-crime serial killer alarms keep going off in my brain.

I know Tara already mentioned how ridiculous the Murphys bed story is but it really is incredibly ridiculous and breaks the tension of the entire scene that is occurring at the time (laughed uncontrollably to the point that Siri typed nonsense)

I get it, Donna, you know things. You do not have list every fire truck to prove it.

Let's take a child to a dinner at 3 am. Really Donna?

Why does Donna insist on giving me the text of signs around whats going on? Why did I just listen to the smoothie specials while an emotional scene is occurring?

Donna, did you just call Mrs. Barough a weasel?  [afronted gasp]

OI!  (me shouting when Donna says that Andy was weird for being lactose intolerant.)

Pukes in my mouth a little at the term 'high verbal'. I get it, Donna, you think you are smarter than all of us stop being a dick.

Donna Tartt would make it to r/iamverysmart in like a minute if she understood how the internet worked.

WHO TAUGHT HER ABOUT FMA?

Okay, so either Donna Tartt knows someone who lost a parent and basing this off them or like went through it herself because I am white-knuckling through the grief bits trying not to have my own trauma response to the situation. Or she wrote Theo with like the exact grief I had. Her incessant need to list things in a room is the only thing between me and a spiral of remembering my dad's death.

ANDY IS A RAY OF LIGHT AND DOES NOT DESERVE TO BE IN THIS FAMILY OR IN THIS BOOK!

Five whole hours before the first sight of Hobie. Like Jesus.

I miss Terry Pratchett.

Hobie thank you for making this book interesting again.

Hobie is now my main squeeze and I won't hear a word against him.

POE DIDN'T INVENT SCIENCE FICTION FUCKING MARY SHELLY DID. DONNA WHAT THE FUCK.

The Hobie part of the story just makes me more sure that a version of the movie should have been without the Baroughers (sp?) and only included Hobie and Pippa.

Any is a murderino. I love this baby boy.

Aw, I love Hobie so so much.

Donna if you call Andy annoying one more time you are gonna catch my hands. (She just referred to his voice as annoying twice in a conversation and I swear to god I will rip this character out of her snobbish clutches she doesn't deserve him.)

Theo on this we agree, I too enjoy Hobie.

Hobie is the only person who belongs in this novel and he's a god damn delight.

SEVEN HOURS AND THE PAINTING HAS COME UP AGAIN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN LITERAL HOURS.

Theo straight up using Spanish to fuck over his father is just *chef's kiss.

I can see how much contempt Donna has for Xandra is longer and deeper than this book will ever be.

I am going to suplex Larry Decker I swear to god. (i have a very particular trigger to spouses bad-mouthing the dead one due to personal experience.)

Necco wafers are no one's favorite candy Donna. You can't just say shit like that and expect anyone to believe you.

I have just realized that Donna Tartt has never been to a public library. How do I know? Witchcraft books are never on the shelves. Ask any librarian. They are stolen pretty much the moment we buy them.

I am standing dead in the tea aisle at the store because Theo just thought it would be “gay” to tell the doormen he has known almost his whole life he is gonna miss them.  (hours later I realize this is her backtracking in edits going "shit shit shit I have to add the repression in somewhere for those dumb readers that don't understand art" and I hate it more.)

Mrs. B is ready to physically fight Larry and I would pay real money to see it.

WHY DOES DONNA KNOW ABOUT DRAGON BALL Z?!? Step away from the things I love Donna I don't trust you near my media. (Also why she does reference it she clearly has NO concept of what DBZ hair would even look like to expect me to believe any child could achieve it.)

oh my god, Boris. I'm so happy to see you.

I am happy to report the audiobook narrator does not do an Australian accent for Boris. Thank the lord.

I knew I was going to love Boris but like a few minutes in I adore him.

It's interesting to me that Theo and Boris seem to have received similar amounts of attention/affection from non-parent adults, but while Theo finds it uncomfortable Boris soaks it in.

The Australian part of Boris's accent seems impossible.

*sobbing audibly into my keyboard* Popchyck

Boris you sweet like socialist.

Comrade Boris we need you in this election.

I'm sad he (Boris) doesn't get to go to college and like piss off every yuppie and hippie, and just make Philosophy 100 and Government 250 absolute hell for everyone.

Drunk Boris at Thanksgiving is a gift.

Me listening to this book before Boris: half paying attention, fucking around on my computer, doing chores. Me after Boris shows up: staring at the middle distance determined to listen to every fucking word because this prison sentence of a novel is finally interesting.

James: you said the author is a snob and you aren't enjoying the main character.  Me: yeah James: then stop reading it. Me: No, then Donna and her Anna Wintour knock off hair cut will win. James, frowning and backing out of the room: k sweetie.

6:30 am is too early to hear Theo Decker describe his bed as "our bed"

I WAS RIGHT. Boris belongs in college making every American white kid absolutely furious in every Poli-sci.

Larry Decker calling Theo and Boris his "kids" made my heart skip a beat.

So the nurse notices they don't have vitamins and smell but doesn't call child services. I mean I know that I learned that school nurses are less likely to call CFS on white kids than they are on black kids but like god damn.

The sheer salt of Theo refusing to learn the name of Boris’s girlfriend is so hilarious.

Now *this* is gay.

The truth is Theo is ready to cut a bitch.

Fellas is it gay to do shots while your boyfriend talks about his girlfriend?

Theo trying to set up Boris with like a nice polite girl who won't fuck him is fucking hilarious. This poor baby gay.

Theo (and Donna cuz she writes him) have never heard of learning disabilities and I will legit throw down.

LARRY IS A SCORPIO IN CANON?! I thought that was something from the fan fics. omg Ally hates this.

No one wears white sport coats Donna stop trying to make it happen.

Boris totally knows what's going on with Larry and he's just trying to look out for Theo because he loves Theo but oh my gosh Boris why do you make me feel so many feelings!

Please, Donna, I am begging you to stop telling me what the light from the sun looks like at different times of the day. I just can't take it anymore. Every scene of Theo in Xandra's house does not need the qualifier of what type of sunlight he is seeing. Some times fine. But every time?

My entire stomach just dropped when I realized what Boris has done, and I'm just I'm so sad. this is not how I wanna start my commute to work today.

I have just had my first moments of being very proud of Donna's writing, because long long time ago, in the same chapter, she had the bit about how Xandra will say "apparently" when she's being bitchy with Theo and now in a conversation where Theo isn't paying attention to her she says "apparently" to Larry and I just had to stop and say this, this is the writing I'm looking for Donna. This is clever and interesting and I LIKED IT. Stop making lists and do more of this.

Friendship ended with Book Boris, Movie Boris is my best friend now.

I don't understand how the director and the screenwriter of the film could move who said those lines and then not make it gay. Like, commit to your choice.

My mom: You finish that book yet? Me, angrily: No. My mom slightly worried: do you like it? Me: unclear.

NEW CHAPTER!

Theo, I need you calm all the way down when you are looking at Pippa.

Love this lawyer. I want to be his friend.

God poor Pippa. All the shit she goes through and she still has to put up with Theo's weird obsession.

Theo, you slid right back into the serial killer habits in a second and I want you to stop it.

Oh god, I feel that in my soul. Like "no sir you have it wrong I look more like the parent I like best." (also I do look more like my dad. like way more like him)

I am begging someone to get Theo some kind of hobby or help or something so he stops acting like a victorian ghost.

I am gonna have to get the actual book so I can see what weird spelling is going on with the text messages. I just know its weird. The narrator does it in such a weird voice.

We spent so much time dealing with emotional issues and other whatnot that going back to the bit about the painting feels like a huge tonal shift in the book. I'm like staggering around confused.

Literally no one uses strawberry shampoo.

Love that Theo ‘s final plan is the one Andy purposed an eon ago.

Salty that Theo is getting the cool college experience that Boris would have crushed.  I would have paid good money to watch him make the philosophy department cry.

[kermit in the car gif]

Yo! Theo struggling to deal with school is like exactly my semester after my dad died.  

The adults attempting to force him into different living arrangements is so what we dealt with post my dad’s death.

Grisha! (Russians the only people I trust atm)

Tara was right, Andy's death comes off like a joke!

I gotta say, Crime Theo is my favorite Theo so far.

I don't know which serial killer Donna was channeling to write the parts about Theo being obsessed with Pippa, but it is just so intensely a serial killer vibe I cannot even begin to describe the look on my face; the feelings I'm having. I'm just like this man is going to kill someone. he's going to kill a lot of people. not only that it's going to be a lot of women because he doesn't view them as people. that's what I'm getting from this it's. Theo doesn't think women are people.

If Theo was on reddit he would be part of r/niceguys and r/iamverysmart.

If I have to listen to him drone on about his fantasies of Pippa for one more minute I will kill myself in the baking aisle of Aldis.

HES HOARDING HER HAIR?! HER UNWASHED CLOTHES?!? Please someone put him in jail.

[the sound of me throwing up in the frozen food section as Theo describes Kitsey]

Donna don’t try to act like you didn’t add that foreshadowing yourself about Andy. You crack me up you relentlessly snob.

How is Theo just The Worst all the time?

Theo freaking out because two gay guys know what’s up with him is just *chef’s kiss

Me having seen only the movie: Theo and Boris should get redemption and a romance run away. Me now: [ gif of “Ive had enough of this guy” from IASIP]

I mean I understand that John Crawley was a coward in so many of his directorial choices, but the fact that he didn't put the second meeting of Theo and this Lucius guy into a crowded weird restaurant where they're both getting hit by the waiters as they go past is just the weakest move you could've made. because this makes it so much funnier.

I'm with Hobie.

honestly this book should've just been 20 hours of art crime and like to shave off a good 10 hours of LISTS because that's what 10 hours is. give me 20 hours of art crime. I would love to watch each sale happen that would've been riveting to read but instead.... this.

Bish, you like those earrings or I will cut you.

Theo salty, while Kitsey picks out new china, is so fucking hilarious.

him just like "why are we buying new plates when my job is literally to find plates that were made by craftsmen?!?!” but being too fucking repressed in his bullshit to say anything, so he just making some poor sales lady suffer.

my friend Ally: “Theo’s repression makes everyone suffer is a good summary of the book.”

Alternative version of this book that would have been 8 million times better: Theo gets into art crimes but is also a serial killer. We don't know the second bit but it begins to start dawning on us as women seem to disappear from his social circles and weird hints of thoughts about blood and rivers.  Bonus points if it ends with him on the run from the law with his only vaguely criminal (by comparison to serial killer Theo) boyfriend. We are left to wonder if they will be gunned down in the chase or if perhaps there will be one more body to great the river.

Theo's textbook serial killer nonsense is only comparable to the sheer petty gay energy he gives off.

The power trip he gets from being like "hahaha yes I have bagged the ice princess who wanted nothing to do with me when we were kids" is just so gross and hilarious.

Theo realizing he is not the only sociopath in the room is just *chef's kiss.

Boris, did you really send some guy to just watch your ex?

Boris, I am begging you. You have made Grisha so upset.

Donna shying away from describing Boris comes off, if you don't know who we are talking about, as weird and slightly racist.

You have the internet Theo, you can look up when movies are going to start. You are not living on the moors.

HOW IS THIS BOOK NOT A SATIRE OF AMERICAN PYSCHO FOR PEOPLE THAT HAVE BONERS FOR ANTIQUES?!?

Boris returns. I have almost forgiven him for what he put me through.

Maybe "fuck you" can be our always.

*tries not to cry when I realize that Boris' friends have heard about Theo

bless Aneurin for everything he did for this reunion in the movie.

Why is Boris such a slut? Why will I forgive him for anything?

Is it gay to think about the guy you used to jack off as handsome when you meet each other again?

Genetics means those kids can't be Boris' unless his mother was blonde. (Theo kind of agrees.)

My soul has left my body at the concept of Boris having a wife and kids.

I'm not saying I endorse crime, I'm just saying a mobster front with a pun in the name is really on-brand for me.

Knowing what I Know. That Boris thinks Theo is gonna try to kill him when they go for the "surprise" just makes the whole thing so tragic and sad.

Boris and his dog REUNITED AT LAST. I'm not crying. I'm fine.

Interesting that the next story we hear is about Gyuri's dead "brother" right after Boris says that Theo is "blood of his heart, his brother". Like. I might not be the biggest history buff in the world but I know gay code when I see it.

I mean I knew this was gonna happen, but I can't help but feel personally betrayed by Boris once again.

Donna, stay away from stuff about computers. Your attempts to use them make me, a technology expert, cringe.

Boris like "you don't deserve this dog. I deserve this dog."

"Babe I get that you are a WASP at heart but I need you to fight with me like a Russian now." - Boris to his disaster husband

"Did I lie?" "YES" (me laughing so hard I'm practically crying)

why does no one in this book appear to exchange numbers or like airdrop contact info.

Does Donna think that people only have iPhones?

Ally who is CTRL F reading this book "'Every few hundred pages she's like 'oh yeah, it's modern times...they're texting and there's emojis!' Seriously, there was the mention of emoji's and my soul escaped my body for a minute because it had no tether to time or space" @aces-low​

Off the top of my head, the name that Donna is not saying for this Horace to guy is Volkswagen.

Instead of being in the mob Boris should run an animal shelter.

Boris being Bitchy and jelly when Theo is talking to the German guy is just so cute. You two deserve each other with your weird shit.

If Donna wasn't a coward this book would have had Theo just getting eyeballs deep in art crime with Boris and his associates.

Adding a sin for making me listen to whatever that just was.

Things Donna forgot to list in "girl food": chicken wings, bread, rolls, other types of bread, garlic bread, a bit more bread, maybe cookies, eight more cookies, 20 more cookies, every type of chocolate humanly imaginable, jam, and barbecue ribs.

What do ankles have to do with being attractive?!?!?! this isn't the Victorian age! 

(from Ally re this comment: “I'm now convinced that every day Donna sat down to write this book she spun a wheel with different years on it, and that's the year the book was set that day”)

I didn't mind Kitsey cheating on Theo, because he doesn't even really like her. Until just now, when I realized that Mrs. B knows about it and she's keeping it from Theo, and my heart broke into 1 trillion pieces. she is the closest thing he has to a mother and he realized that she kept it from him, and I should not be crying in my car before my special Valentine night dinner.

James just walked in during a part describing Pippa and goes "Men writing women, huh?" and I had to pause the book, turn to him and say "a woman wrote this" and he just looks at me like 0_0

Mrs. B clutching Theo's hand so he won't leave her alone with Smalltalk-old-man is honestly the cutest thing in this entire book.

Hobie being able to be spotted from a distance at all times! I have a friend who is 6'5" and we can find him in crowds so easily!

Perhaps the funniest moment of this book is Theo saying "if girls loved assholes then Pippa would love me". buddy I'm going to post this entire book to r/niceguys

I WANT MORE ART CRIME! Why did you make me listen to 15 hours of boring nonsense when we could have had ART CRIME!

I deeply enjoy Boris's commitment to being a dramatic goofball, falling to his knees just be annoying.

Movie Boris appears in a dramatic way. Book Boris is just like there and also shoving food in his face and walking out of the party still eating all the food he just put in his cheeks like a chipmunk.

Hobie just like "if you want to run off with your gay love i'll cover."

Theodor Decker you get back in there and make sure that thief stays away from Nicole Kidman she has been through enough already!

Theo, I know that you don't actually have brains for anything besides drugs, crimes, being weird about women, and your own ass, but you could at least listen when people speak.

Theo is such a mess. He doesn't belong in modern times. He deserves to be Jack the Ripper.

I know the narrator is saying croissant the "correct" way. But every single time it happens I'm so fucking confused because who just leans into a french accent that hard for a single word?

Theo offers an actual good idea that Boris is going to use later and they all look at him like he's crazy.

I know "my brand" is "man holding gun" but listening to Boris assemble a gun I'm like "oh goodness I need to lay down". *fans self

Theo suddenly "I have made a huge mistake"

It's interesting to me how reluctant Boris is to make Theo a larger part of the heist. Theo reads it as frustrating but I read it like a kind of care and affection. He doesn't want his friend mixed up in something he can't handle, despite the fact that he wants Theo close so he can get him the painting back.

I see now why the heist in the movie was so fucking confusing. You need the Horst stuff and like a bunch of other nonsense that does not translate well to screen unless you re-write all the connections, which John Crowley was not willing to do.

Really love the "women drop their mark the first time" bit.

me: Theo I swear to god stop being high and sick in your room and go get some actual clothes and medication or at least don't make me listen to so much of it

this book is not 30 hours long. its 15 hours of a book and 15 hours of Donna going "gotta get that word count up or people with think I'm weak". Please, Donna. I don't need to hear this one thing happen for so long. It adds nothing to the tone, the themes, the plot, or the ambiance. You are just writing words for words sake.

The first suicide note was so well crafted that I honestly want Theo to kill himself now. If he can manage to write the others pretty okay I will be happy with this ending.

Don’t think I didn’t notice that the ghost of a dead loved one appeared on Christmas Eve.

I'm sorry who doesn't respond to "didn't you get my text?" with "my phone was dead" instantly?

me listening to Theo throw a tantrum at Boris because neither of them is capable of explaining themselves and like speaking as normal humans do: "It would have been better if Theo died"

Why must I be forced to listen to Donna make these scenes longer because these people don't talk like people?

Thud by Terry Pratchett does a much much better job of asking the question "can we trust our hearts and be the person we want to be?" And it honestly gives a better answer. And has you know, clever writing.

I thought it was like Over. I did. I was like "oh this is it wrapping up" ONLY THERE IS 30 MORE MINUTES AND I WANT TO SCREAM!

Me certain the book is over: i mean maybe this is a good ending

Me seeing i still have 30 more minutes: this is the worst book ever

This book held me fucking captive for over a week and all it left me with was like a few good lines, burning hatred for the main character, and the desire to go into Donna's home and rearrange all her stuff. 

also, I now hate antiques. out of spite.

don't read The Goldfinch. it's not worth it y’all.    

[gem-quest]

[QUEST o1. - E N T H R O N E D]

(written by @bebemoon)

. . . Quest 1 .

. . . T O U R N E Y . A N D . F A I R . I N . W I L D F L O W E R . M E A D O W . . . L E V E L . O N E . . .

Neddy gazed up at the lighted announcement slipping across the sky of level ten like a scrolling billboard ad in Times Square.

She was squarely amid the Prince's bursting gardens, headed in the way of her "nest" as she liked to call her homebase, when the lights of the announcement banner had drawn her eyes skywards- twinkling gold against cornflower blue.

"Jack!" Neddy called ahead of her on the garden trail. When there wasn't an immediate response, she started forward again, stumbling a little as her eyes were still pinned upwards. "Jack!"

Finvarra's gardens, where Neddy had taken up residence since the incident, was a knot of overgrown mazes whose centre was a raving-mad fairy party thrown by the hedonist fairy Prince Finvarra- an npc with far more brides than scruples. He and his brood made the argument to players traveling through that it made far more sense to lay about and drink honey wine with them than it did to slog through level after level, narrowly escaping death at every turn, with the ambition of returning to a world of "imminent catastrophic death" and until then, "inescapable boredom".

"Would you not, my dear, much rather Partake?"

Enticing though the notion may have been, Neddy, at the time of clearing the level, had been able to refuse the Prince because she had had someone to stick with-  

But that was before. More and more she felt the lure of the sweet meats of the fairies' forbidden feast.

Neddy arrived back at her nest on the outskirts of the gardens, far from the clamour of the Prince's ceaseless bacchanal. She hurried up the short twiggy ladder and into the leafy alcove of her self-made refuge. It was little more than a hovel of bent branches bound together in the shape of an acorn's cap, but Neddy enjoyed the green smell of it and the fact that it was well out of the way of most players who traveled through ten. In the beginning, she really relished the isolation.

"Jack?" Neddy repeated in sing-song, half-preoccupied with locating her player-plexus. She knew full well that the creature wasn't inside the nest- he was much too large. But she hoped he was nearby since she wanted to leave soon and didn't dare go into any other floor without him now that she was alone.

She got on her hands and knees to reach the plexus- which was just a thin, quartz-y screen no bigger than a tablet in the real world- beneath the cot of sewn-together rose petal bed clothes on which she slept.

Neddy tapped the crystal screen, swiped into her Inventory, scrolled downwards through the list of items, and selected a 'Drink Me' potion. The concoction appeared like magic, hovering above the plexus screen in an illumination of blue until she took it into her fingers and gave the tiny, glass bottle substance. She tucked it into the hip pocket of her wafer-thin robe.

Overhead, Neddy could hear the beat of Jack's flower-skinned wings on the air. It was time to go.

-

< < < Spell used: I C T U I U M > > >

Jack was never pleased about being shrunken down to the size of a Lhasa Apso or being carried in a reed basket on Neddy's back, but (most of the time) Neddy wasn't looking to cause havoc by having a fully-grown dragon in tow. When travelling through peaceful levels, making him a less threatening size seemed only right. Such was the case in revisiting level one.

The flowering meadows outside of Yue City conjured all kinds of unwanted images in Neddy's mind. It was the initial spawn point for all players, and the last she had seen of it, she had been with her boyfriend. She had been with their entire party, in fact. Even Bloodbriars, a pale vampire mage-knight, who shared Neddy's love of dance . . . among other things.

The meadow, very unlike the last Neddy had seen of it, was lifted with the roaring voices of crowds of players surrounding the lists and brimming with every manner of species from every guild milling between the colourful tent stalls topped with snapping banners in red, blue, black, and yellow. The aroma of cooking meat (well-cooked unlike fae fare) was in the air.

Some other players materialised behind Neddy and shoved past her on their way towards the tourney- as if there wasn't open space all around them.

"Ogres," Neddy muttered. She hefted the reed basket further up onto her shoulders. "Keep your eyes peeled, Jack. If you see /him, say so."

The dragon yawned poisonous gas into the air before curling back into the basket bottom with a sigh. Once he took on the size of a lap dog, he promptly became one in spirit too.

As to just why she wanted to see him, even she was unsure. She'd had days of isolation to ponder her own feelings on the situation- nothing of note had surfaced. Neddy decided her heart would tell her what to do once she laid eyes on his face.

Of course, the trick was finding him. And the tourney- because violence was assured- seemed as good a place as any to start searching.

Neddy gravitated towards the closest jousting list, which was set with proper bench seating, but was so swarmed with onlookers that a lot of players were forced into sitting or standing on the barriers. NPCs in neutral-claim colours made up the King's box, as expected.

She forced her way into a press of on-looking players to get herself against the balustrade for a good look at the current match-up. Squeezed sideways between a pair of brutish types (one was clutching a pole through which a full cooked pheasant was spiked upon, now partially eaten), Neddy was able to see the action- At one end of the list, a Moonstone rider in glistening silver armour was waiting mounted upon a winged snow-white steed, and at the other end, an Obsidian rider in a void of black armour was hefting themselves onto a massive black boar. Once the Obsidian rider was in place, they were given a brutal-looking lance of what, to Neddy, looked like charred bone.

The trumpets resounded and the crowd erupted in fevered roars as the two riders set off towards the tilt barrier- towards each other. A few heartbeats and it was over- the Moonstone rider was violently unseated by a crushing blow to the head. The result had been so extreme that Neddy half-expected the body of the Moonstone rider to dissolve as dead players' bodies did, but they were apparently somehow still alive.

Then, just as the Obsidian boar-rider was starting the stadium wave, a pair of legs came into view as someone boosted themselves up onto the balustrade over Neddy, semi-blocking her view of the list.

"Excuse me?" she demanded, flicking the offender's fish-netted calf. "You can't just-"

"Hey, what’s up? You’re Neddy, right?"

Neddy looked up, surprised because she recognized the voice. "Inferna?"

The face that belonged to the legs peered down at Neddy through a curtain of candy red hair. Inferna beamed down at her and offered her a hand up.  

Neddy accepted her gloved hand and was easily drawn up from the ground and onto the balustrade beside the red-head. She grabbed onto an overhead beam to keep her balance.

"View's better up here," said Inferna on a wink.

Inferna then seemed to notice that Jack was on Neddy's back because she released a strange little noise of excitement- not unlike the noise she'd made when first encountering him in the gardens. "God, Jack is so freaking adorable! Does he still like sugar cubes?" she wondered, reaching deep into one of her pockets.

Neddy was barely listening- she was stunned to see the girl again. "How are you faring out there?" she asked, concerned.

“It’s been pretty chill on my end,” Inferna replied easily, giving Neddy a cheeky grin. “Haven’t really done anything exciting, besides get some blueberry scones from the Tearoom the other day; they’re amazing. I was at Level 39 the other day, but fighting the dragon is so much work, so I fucked off after a few minutes.”

Neddy shuddered. She'd heard of Mawrgawse, and she wasn't looking forward to facing the beast.

Inferna clenched one of her eyes shut as she dug further into her pocket and then drew out a sugar cube as well as a tiny tube of red liquid. The red-head pulled the top off of the tube with her teeth and then proceeded to dump the liquid contents directly onto the sugar cube. “Ooh, fuck, Jack is so cute. Here, you’re a good boy, aren’t you?” she said, tossing the sugar cube in the air and clapping with delight when Jack caught it in his mouth.

The boar-rider was mounting up for a second go even though an opponent had not yet appeared. A thrill of excitement rippled through the assembled crowd of players.

Inferna turned back to Neddy, still grinning. “What about you? Got anything fun going on?”

"Nothing quite as exciting as thirty-nine," Neddy replied. "I've just gotten through floor twenty-nine by the skin of my teeth. Mermaid Cove won't be easy for me since I'm currently, you know, on my own."  

Inferna nodded. “Oh, yeah, that level’s a pain in the ass if you don’t have a party. I think I got through it by just finding a group that needed an extra person who didn’t care about Angel’s Breath. Aydina - that’s the NPC you go up against - is kind of a cunt, too. Like, I get that it’s just pre-written dialogue, but the lady could be nicer while trying to fuck us over with that dodgeball of hers, you know?”

When Neddy first met Inferna, after stopping her from Partaking in Finvarra's feast, she was concerned for her given her thoughtlessness about the food. However, it became clear, after hearing all that she had to say about her progress, that the red-head was someone who could too easily tear through the floors even though she was alone. To Neddy, that was enviable- she, too, wanted to help her guild win- she wanted to get out of the game and move on with her life, leaving behind the old for good. This living in Gem Quest was like being trapped within a bad memory. She had to do whatever necessary to help Moonstone escape. Trouble was, she was Enthroned, a weak fairy-kind dancer, and not Inferna, a flame-wielding hellion who (at least in Neddy's mind) kicked in doors and destroyed private property in the real world.  

It occurred to her to ask for Inferna's help when they first met, but she never screwed up the courage. After all they came from different guilds so they couldn't fashion themselves into a party. What was the point other than to make herself look weak and pathetic?

Still. Aydina would be tough. And dodgeball was stupid.

"I'm not very good at dodgeball," Neddy put in. She glanced sideways at Inferna, hoping she wouldn't have to outright ask.

“It was my favorite thing in gym, when I still had to take that bullshit class. All I did was dick around and throw balls at the annoying people in my grade, even if they were technically on my team,” Inferna said.

Her dark eyes were fixed on the restless boar-rider. Neddy was about to ask if she knew the player, but she started to speak again-

“I thought that level was pretty fun, besides Aydina’s totally unnecessary commentary. So I can help you, if you want,” she continued, “if you bribe me somehow. Since I don’t see how helping you with dodgeball helps my Guild, after all.”

Neddy's brows shot up. "Bribe?" she choked on her simultaneous relief and dismay. "I don't have much in the way of coin. . . . I'm not formidable by any means. Surely, it won't hurt Obsidian any if you help little old me move through a lower floor."

Inferna narrowed her eyes, skeptical. “Little old you and a dragon,” she pointed out, gesturing towards Jack asleep in the reed basket.

Neddy nodded, suddenly pensive. Coin was one thing, but Inferna was someone who had back-tracked through multiple levels and re-did the maze on ten just to get her hands on a pastry she could not even eat. Even standing on the barrier, she took a moment now and then to sniff the aroma-filled air like a wolf catching the scent of prey. Food was the answer.

So, Neddy said, "Yeah, okay, I can give you all the apricot tartlets in my inventory if you help me out."

“Alright fine, I’ll do it,” Inferna abruptly agreed, flipping her red hair over one shoulder. “Just tell me when, and I’ll be there. But don’t make it before noon, or I’ll probably sleep straight through it. Like, I’m not even kidding; last semester I somehow slept through ten alarms and missed a 12:30 PM lab. So don’t make it before twelve.”

"Whatever you want," Neddy laughed, and she stuck her hand out to seal the accord between them.

Inferna, with a grin, slapped Neddy's hand in a low-five instead of shaking it- then narrowed her eyes again. “Now hand over those tartlets.”

-

Neddy didn't want to leave the tourney without having a look through the stalls.

Though newly skint of apricot tartlets, she was in need of a few other items following her final bought with the shellycoat hoards on twenty-nine. Since she was Mermaid Cove-bound, she wanted to replenish her supply of medi-elixir and possibly grab a tide jewel, just in case.

Further down from the over-crowded lists, there was a whole wyvern being turned over a spit by some NPCs, and Neddy imagined Inferna would make easy work of the thing.

Players, some half-armoured, were gathered together, drinking mead and exchanging tales of the front. Others were immersed in Gem Quest's version of the dice game "hazard", which was popular in the taverns (and Neddy didn't have the first clue about). People were arriving at the stalls in pairs, if not more, to make purchases. In every direction, people were together- they were together even if their guilds were different.

Neddy stood in the centre of one of the grassy avenues flanked with stalls and people passed around her like water about a river stone. And her heart was heavy because of it, but it had been so for weeks. Enough was enough.

If he put himself before her gaze again, she would see that he didn't dare do it a second time.

Until then, she had work to do.

[ ref for Neddy’s outfit: x ]

[chazzfox]

Rules: Complete the survey and say who tagged you in the beginning. When you are finished tag people to do this survey. Have fun and enjoy!!!

I was tagged by Lissafox aka @bluenobuccellati !! Thank you, I love reading these and doing them!

1: Are you named after someone? Sorta. My brother wanted my middle name to be my first name because he liked April from TMNT...

2: When is the last time you cried? Thursday upon getting my car stuck in the mud.

3: Do you like your handwriting? I don’t really have any thoughts about it, it’s okay I guess.

4: What is your favorite lunch meat? HONEY HAM

5: Do you have kids? CATS

6: If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Idk, maybe. I guess so because when hanging out I’m really laid back..

7: Do you use sarcasm? Sometimes.

8: Do you still have your tonsils? Yep!

9: Would you bungee jump? I think I might. I’d scream and cry though.

10: What is your favorite kind of cereal? SPECIAL K I EAT SO MUCH OF IT.

11: Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Ain’t nobody got time for that!

12: Do you think you’re a strong person? I guess so. I get through shit anyway.

13: What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Ben and Jerry’s Boom Chocolatta!!!

14: What is the first thing you notice about people? Hair.

15: Red or pink? pinkpinkPINKPINK!!!!!!

16: What is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself? SOOO MUCH LMAO...my fat arms, my stomach, ass...

17: What color pants and shoes are you wearing now? pink/grey/teal/white/black polar bear print pj pants and no shoes

18: What was the last thing you ate? LEMON WAFERS

19: What are you listening to right now? Uuuuhhh well I was listening to some 60′s and 70′s stuff on Pandora.

20: If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Forest green.

21: Favorite smell? That’s difficult. Rain I guess? Coffee too...I do like sage.

22: Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? On the phone? Ermmm...technically a customer ordering fish. As far as people I know, my boyfriend when I called to cry about being stuck in mud.

23: Favorite sport to watch? I guess Ill watch ice skating.

24: Hair color? Blonde

25: Eye color? Blue with like some brown?

26: Do you wear contacts? TOO SCARED NOPE NOPE NOPE JUST GLASSES

28: Scary movies or comedy? Scary I looove horror movies

29: Last movie you watched? Lego Batman

30: What color of shirt are you wearing? Grey

31: Summer or winter? Summer cause it brings thunderstorms and warm weather for swimming.

32: Hugs or kisses? HUGS

33: What book are you currently reading? Pete’s Dragon: The Lost Years

34: Who do you miss right now? My best friend

35: What is on your mouse pad? Megamind

36: What is the last TV program you watched? Mmm...Weather Channel forecast?

37: What is the best sound? Thunder

38: Rolling Stones or The Beatles? The Beatles!!!

39: What is the furthest you have ever traveled? Orlando, FL.

40: Do you have a special talent? No not really

41: Where were you born? Veeeeermont. WHO TO TAG... @toshihakari @okamihanyu @homo-bbjr @honor-among-thieves I GUESS???

[cutiecrates]

Review: Tokyo Treat Jan2017

Ironically, mochi isn’t in this box! It’s in this one!

Hi wonderful Cuties who take the time out of your precious day to read my blog <3 I hope you enjoy the following post and I apologize if anyone was left waiting for it. I’m trying to expand them a little because I just have 2 more to get through for the month after this one- and then I’ll have to wait until I get February boxes <3

I’m dying with excitement!! I love Valentines Day!

As usual I’ll cover various details within the booklet. This month included a lot of fun Asian New Years content, as well as the usual Contest of the Month:

Here was January’s contest prizes, including a Totoro backpack, an adorable kirby LED warp star keychain for first place, and a pokemon towel for lucky runner-ups. Plus some free Subscriptions!

Following that was the Lucky Treat items!

Included in this months Lucky Treat was:

1. Neo Mewtwo plastic model

2. Yuruchara Bari-san keychain

3. Detective Conan one-touch Tumbler

4. Doraemon basketball toy/game

5. Pokemon Surprise Snacks

6. One piece LED Fan

7. Pokemon Beanie

8. Jibanyan Plastic Food Container

9. Squeezeable Kamiusagi keychain

10. Doraemon Piggy Bank

11. Oedo Onsen Story X Yowamushi Pedal Postcard

12. Large Doraemon Plushie

13. Hokkaido Butter Candy

14. Totoro Cushion

15. Jibanyan Stacking Figures

16. One Piece Mobile Pouch (I got so excited to see one of my favorite one piece characters on it <3)

17. Super Mario Backpack

18. Hokkaido Limited White Black Thunder

With that lets move onto the content of the box! Starting with a not-so edible item:

Pure Smile continues to wow and amaze with their face masks- not only do they provide some unique scents, but they can also pull off some awesome designs! For New Years, everyone subscribed to the Premium box can receive either this Dragon, a Rooster, or a Japanese raccoon-dog (Tanooki), each with a plum wine scent. I think I would have liked the Tanooki one out of the 3, just because it looked the cutest~

As usual I didn’t use it yet, because I’m kind of “backed up“ on facial masks >3< As much as I like them I don’t use them every single day or so. 4 out of 5. It’s not cute but I do like them.

Now onto the real content, the snacks! These I did eat prior to working on this, but really, the Samurai Japan Chips were nothing special. If you really want to know what they taste like grab a bag of Lays or any plain salted chip really. They did include a baseball card, and I love snacks that include cute little things like that: but... its not something that would appeal to me. 2 out of 5. They tasted fine, but there was no appeal to me. The next one I have a much higher rating for, but not just because it was One Piece themed, but because it features 2 of my favorite characters on the package and the snack itself was extremely good. It was a wafer sandwich with chocolate cream <3 5 out of 5. The only disappointment with the OP thing was that I got a Zoro sticker <3< I don’t hate him, he’s just not my favorite.

Here we got 4 items, 1 of which is a drink complimenting them so wonderfully. We got some Condensed Milk Choco Anpan (Anpan means bread), and what you see is what you get! These tiny cuties are adorable little breads with a light condensed milk inside.

I actually really dislike bread though, like, plain tasting bread. With these, its pretty much all I taste so I’m not a fan of them- even though they are REALLY cute. 2 out of 5.

With that are two chocolate items, the Black Thunder in Kinako flavor (Kinado is roasted soy flour). Black Thunder is a highly popular candy bar brand in Japan, and this bar was really tasty~ 4 out of 5. With it we have the Alfort Chocolate Biscuit - Red Bean flavor.

These cookies are well-known for their digestive properties, and I love chocolate biscuits! These in particular gave me a nostalgic feeling, since the scent reminded me of the coffee I smelled whenever I stepped into the place my mom was employed when I was growing up. 4 out of 5.

This was probably an item I was excited to try out, the Rich Taste Calpis Soda. In one words: AMAZING! It was like a combination of the McDonalds Vanilla yogurt and sprite with a little lemon or citrus, and I know that might sound strange but it is really good. 4 out of 5.

Did you know, in other Countries, Calpis is known as “Caplico”? Rumor has it that its because of what the name sounds like.

After having so many sweets I bet you’re ready for something savory and salty huh~? Well then I have just the item for you! How about some Super Ottotto Savory Soy Sauce Flavor? These are light, crispy snacks shaped like adorable sea animals. If you like soy sauce you will love this treat as much as I do! It’s especially nice because there’s no icky clam or fish taste >3< 5 out of 5.

If soy sauce isn’t your thing, perhaps the Butter Pretz is more up your alley! Lightly sweetened butter makes these sticks a delight. I’m happy to say I also didn’t get that “pizza dough” after taste like I do with the tomato Pretz. 4 out of 5.

Now lets move onto some fun candies!

Sour Plum Candy - (The little sphere) A candy roulette of fun! One will be sour-sweet, and one will just be plain sour! Do you dare risk it??

In all honesty I didn’t think it was all that sour x3 I love sour candy so I was actually disappointed because it seemed a lot more intimidating than it was. 3 out of 5.  

Pikachu Gummy - Yummy grape (medicine) flavored gummies mostly in the shape of Pikachu’s head. If you find a foot or tail its very lucky! Despite the what-some-would-find-unappealing taste, I actually really liked these :3 4 out of 5.

Pokemon Stick Candy - Pikachu is in this month apparently! Who am I kidding though? Pikachu is always in <3 These are yummy candy sticks that come in Orange and Soda, and when you pair them together you get, you guessed it: Orange Soda~

I liked these, but I actually liked the Cola and Grape Soda set I got from a prior box more. 3 out of 5.

Fizzy Soft Candy Stick - Orange and Lemon flavor - A chewy and sweet stick that is half lemon and half orange. The inside is filled with a tangy powder that creates the taste of Cola when you eat it all together.

I give this a 4 out of 5. I really liked it, but its so chewy my mouth actually started to get sore before I could finish it! I really like the cute octopus’ on the wrapper!

Frog Family Gummy - A cute candy I always wanted to try and never actually bought before. You get 3 gummies: A frog egg, A tadpole, and the froggie! geru geru! The Tadpole and eggs are grape flavored, while the frogs are green apple. What I especially love are the grape ones, like the eggs. They have a clear gummy coat so when you bite into the center you “feel” it. I also like that the frogs come in all sorts of styles, ranging from realistic to basic to cutesy! 4 out of 5.

Here we have another chocolate treat: the Sakupan Choco Monaka. Yes it does look like what is shown on the wrapper, I just turned it backwards so that you could see the kawaii design on the back. It’s made from airy chocolate and soft whipped vanilla, so it melts under your touch and tastes SO GOOD! 5 out of 5. 

Last of all we have the 2 DIY candies. Normally the box comes with 1, but for the holiday we got a bonus! ; )

(Btw, if you Cuties would like to see me make the candies leave a message or something. I can make separate topics to give you detailed photos of the making process.)

On top we have the Nakayoshi Neru Neru Muscat Grape & Strawberry Flavor. I had this before so I knew I would love it. If you have never tried Nerunerune before, you really should! It’s a sweet and cute, color-change whip-like candy that comes in all sorts of varieties and styles. 5 out of 5.

Lastly is the Sushi Gummies. These were another things I always wanted to try, but I hesitated and didn’t want to buy them in case I didn’t like them. I never thought I would until, to my shock, they showed up in this box. The candies are composed of 3 components: Banana flavored rice, lemon sushi toppings, and peach toppings.

In all honesty I didn’t like it. I mean yes its adorable, and I did love the toppings. But I actually don’t like bananas, and the gummies tasted like real bananas. I don’t like artificial bananas either though, so... 2 out of 5.

<3 Cutie Ranking <3

Content - Not much to say here, 4 out of 5. It was all pretty great, and there was nothing gross or scary in the box! I had an average ranking for most items, but I think I might have preferred them more than the last box.

Total Rank: 14 out of 15 Cuties! As I said, I think I liked this box more than the last one. it was a fun and great box! The only reason a point is missing is because of my average scores on the items.

<3 Cutie’s Scale of Yummy <3

(Did not include face mask for obvs reason <3)

1. Sakupan Choco Monaka - I’m obsessed with chocolate and the light, crispiness of this, plus its kawaii design is a sure-fire win!

2. One Piece Chocolate Wafer - Whether you like one piece or not you will like this wafer.

3. Super Ottotto Savory - I love soy sauce, and I loved these <3

4. Alfort Chocolate Biscuit - I liked these a lot too. But I heard you shouldn’t eat too many of these at once, and they give you several btw  >3>

5. Neru Neru - I already liked/had this, so of course I still find it yummy.

6. Frog Family Gummy - Cute and delicious! They have a very light powdering but its hard to focus on after you start chewing. Geru Geru!

7. Fizzy Soft Candy Stick - It was delicious but again, my jaw couldn’t handle chewing the entire thing in one go~

8. Sour Plum Candy - These are really good! I just wish they were more sour for some real fun >:3

9. Pikachu Gummy - Super adorable but if you don’t like the medicine taste you wont like these. I did though!

10. Rich Taste Calpis - As much as I really liked this, it felt like the more I drank I actually started to grow bored of it and the less sprite-citrus taste was remaining.

11. Pokemon Stick Candy - These are nice, I love the taste of soda candy.

12. Pretz - Really good, but I’m more of a sweetie girl <3

13. Kinako Black Thunder - It was fairly good, but much too small to get a real opinion of it ;3

14. Samurai Japan Chips - Again. Lays. Nothing special, but they didn’t taste bad.

15. Sushi Gummy - Half of it I hated, half I liked. It’‘s great if you like Bananas though.

16. Condensed Anpan - The little bit of sweetness inside and the cute shape isn’t enough to save it from the overall bread taste.

With that I’m out! Stay tuned for the next one Cuties!