#black and white cartoon about berries

[requiesticat]

One of the ambient tracks I'm hoping David Firth will release is the song that plays in the background of B/W Cartoon. I used an audio identifier, but all that came up was a Syd Barret song, so it could be that he used Pink Floyd as a sample in it.

[jellyfish-fingerz]

since cringe culture is dead can i show my awful capcut edit of Jonathan from David Firth's B/W Cartoons?

this is a david firth cartoon so TW for suicide, gore, murder, violence, hallucinations, harm intrusive thoughts

he reminds me of my experiences with intrusive thoughts, all the visions of him injuring people and what not, and the fact it makes him stressed and he tends to lash out.

[biblicallyaccuratepigeons]

Sonic Prime Liveblog For The Same Reasons:

—

i totally did not stop midway through season one of sonic boom to watch this because i missed my boy ok shut up

—

IT'S BIG!!!!!!

—

"And then there's Shadow." MY BOYYYYY MY BOY MY BOY HIIII "It's... complicated." HAHA THEY'RE GAY HE'S GAY FOR MY BOY "Sonic! Where've you been?" "Got a little sidetracked" WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND? WITH MY BOY YOUR BOYFRIEND?

Edit: I WAS RIGHT IT WAS WITH MY BOYYYYY

—

OH THAT CHROMATIC ABERRATION WAS SO GOOD

—

can't say i'm a huge giant fan of knuckles' original world voice

—

rouge got that white girl swag

—

I CHIMED IN WITH A HAVEN'T YOU (sonic) EVER HEARD OF CLOSING THE DADGUM DOOR (yes i ain't sayin "goddamn" for a joke ok shut up)

—

rusty's really sweet

—

FUCK YEAH! MY BOY!

—

"You mean we could have... TWO BERRIES??!" THAT'S SO SAD ALEXA DESPACITO ETC. ETC.

—

"Can't fight what I can't see. But... I got other senses." he's being me no glasses again

—

i need a dread pirate knuckles princess bride au right this instant

—

"That's no whale..." ...that's a space station

—

MY BOY HE'S SUCH A BADASS

—

man, that- the proximity tells such a good story with them. the way they wove together when they ran. the way they ended up standing comfortably side-by-side but stood apart while facing each other. the way they were just close enough to reach out and touch each other while having a [insert synonym for "close-rivally banter/argument" ...bantergumental?] exchange, but each still took a step back to talk more seriously. the way sonic clutched shadow to his heart, when the only other times they've been that close thus far is while they were fighting/when sonic was glad to see him after a traumatic time and he could've easily held him over his shoulder instead. man even. even when shadow was falling away and sonic was chasing him desperately. and after shadow was saved, the way their proximity went from that comfortable "business" distance to a mutually-initiated friendly one. their dynamic is so important to me. i need to sleep

—

also i haven't mentioned but i love how the animation actually feels like a cartoon (as opposed to sonic boom) and also the lighting is my favorite part (especially since light itself is a big symbol associated with what sonic stands for) (also it's just a good mood) (ok i'll sleep now)

—

gonna be honest when deep said they'd be recycling i thought they'd start roboticizing people

—

"You know, after all this time, I think I finally understand you, Sonic." "Whatcha see is whatcha get! Just a guy that loves adventu-" oh wait wrong line

—

falling in the black is such a good song for this

—

man but can i just say: sonic's doublethink about this whole situation has been crazy throughout the whole series

—

anyway that was hella epic

—

my pain hurts

[nastyacitrus]

I feel endlessly tired, to be honest.

I want the summer of 2002 to come, I am five years old again, live in the countryhouse with my family, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, the tall birch trees are rustling, and flowers, vegetables and fruits are growing in the garden.

During the day, I walk with my mom through the nearby fields, she bites a spikelet and teaches me to pull out the kernels of green and still soft wheat, and I, usually a calm and melancholy child, run around, studying the fields, rivers, a village with a well and a bridge over a river. In the evening, mom tells me bedtime stories, and I dream about the big and wonderful world that I will soon see.

The sun's rays enter my room, shine through the curtains and I crawl out from under the heavy blanket. Slipping into my small, faded slippers and go to look for my grandmother, who has been tending her garden since early morning. She sends me to wash my face with cold water from the tap outside while she makes me breakfast. I watch the spring water pour onto the ground from the tap, pooling in a large, dirty puddle as I scrub my hands and face with soap.

The options for today's fun are so amazingly interspersed in my head! “What should I do?”. You can play with a multi-colored plush dog and a small, plump toy bee with one wing, you can imagine yourself as an archaeologist and dig a hole in the corner of the garden, hoping to find something no less important than Troy, you can ride on the fence, or you can try to catch the golden fish in a tiny ditch filled with water that separates our summer cottage from the road. You can lie on the grass, read, sleep, watch a cartoon or soom series on a pot-bellied black-and-white TV, and you can also go swimming, although only in the late afternoon, when grandma has finished watering the tomatoes and peppers.

You can also eat berries and apples straight from the trees, you can pick a small cucumber, a tomato, take a couple of sweet peppers and go on a journey along the country alley, feeling safe among elderly summer residents just like your grandmother. You can walk through the wet grass and dream while your pockets full of fresh vegetables and fruits become lighter with every tenth step.

You can feel such peace and such endless happiness and joy in your soul that now you can’t even believe that this was possible.

[valiantharpoon]

"Dayna's Public Domain Dream"

Written by: V. Harpoon

Chapter 7:

One evening, long ago, in the Deep Jungle Valley, a high-pitched whistle pierced the crickets, the summer sky, and made Tarzan sit up in wonder. He was just lying about in the sun, baking all his areas evenly. To Tarzan, the whistle sounded nervous, very nervous and scared. A hungry roar echoing from a pair of leopards soon told why.

Tarzan quickly went back inside his tree mansion and put on his tiger loincloth. It held his dense package in place as well as protection and ease of movement. Tarzan adjusted his knife tied to the anaconda belt around his loin cloth and swung on a thick vine towards the stranger in trouble. The orange-ruby sun glowed on Tarzan's bronze skin and somewhere, but not yet, Jane is jealous.

Growls and hisses became closer. The whistles tried to scream for help. Tarzan understood all of the jungles sounds, but didn't know what kind dialect it was. Tarzan pointed himself towards branches and rocky outcrops as he thought about what he could face. The village is far to the north. Cannibals from the south, maybe? Tarzan swung into the setting sun to be a savage savior to either friend or foe. His answer to that question was startling.

In the middle of a small clearing, its back up against a huge steep cliff, two leopards crouching in front, and wielding an old, still sharp arrow was a human-sized mouse in a pair of shorts, a tall captain's cap, colored only in black and white. It confused the green grass and Tarzan for a moment longer and then the left side leopard pounced. Tarzan landed just in time to tear the big cat from the ancient arrowhead after the monochrome mouse jabbed it into its throat. The leopard slopped to the side bleeding and choking.

Tarzan roared at the remaining leopard, reminding it that he is king of this valley. The leopard also saw that the monochrome mouse was still holding the arrow with both hands. It was an article of power from a kingdom long forgotten. The fresh blood had renewed its shine. The leopard without a name growled low in a disgruntled acknowledgement and vanished back into the shadows.

Tarzan stood up and nodded at the mouse. It nodded back, whistled, and offered an ungloved hand. Tarzan shook it and did his best to communicate. It took the rest of the evening to get back to Tarzan's home and by that time they understood a few lines of dialogue. The mouse's name is Steamboat Willie, but to just to call him Will. He lost his boat in a storm a few days ago and would like help getting it back. All that Will understood was that his human was there to help. Tarzan whistled his backstory. Will listened, was shocked, and excited the whole time. They ate a delicious meal of berries and leopard steaks as the night closed up the jungle. Even Tarzan knows not to tempt that side of fate.

The night grew as they played cards on the floor, laughing and whistling. Will didn't know the question was on his lips until he whistled it. Tarzan's eyes lit up in astonishment. Will whistled an explanation and for forgiveness if he offended Tarzan. Tarzan whistled back, but moved forward. Will whistled if he was sure, it's cool if you don't want to... Tarzan closed the distance and wrapped his arm around Will. Tight, hard muscles pressed closer to smooth, cartoon skin. Their lips locked with immediate passion. Their hands exploring the other with curiosity.

... later they sucked their huge dicks and... Dayna opens her eyes on the morning flares cutting through the curtains. Her mouth is cotton and grunts upright.

[rihon-scribe-some-writer-guy]

General Studies 324: The Knowledge that I Bear (bare)

Class, I have been going comparatively easy on the lot of you all for at least two lectures now. That streak ends today. We’re going to be delving into biology, statistics, and sociology.

I honestly thought that there was nothing that I, a cisgender heterosexual white male, could really add to the discussion of should women choose to run into a bear or a strange man while hiking in the woods. That lesson was more meant for me to silently absorb rather than to add onto. Yet Hadeantagia calling women who chose the bear illogical proved that there is something that I can add to the conversation: proof that bears are actually the correct answer logistically. I will offer links to my sources so that Bear-chooser can take out these facts and spray them in the face of rude dudes who dared called them illogical.

While anyone can concede that a full grown bear poses more of a potential risk than an unarmed full grown male human, potential risks shouldn’t be the major deciding factor in this hypothetical scenario. I’ll show you why: Let’s change the question to “would you rather encounter a bear or ten kilos of TNT while hiking in the woods?” If we’re taking potential risk of both parties as the deciding factor, then the logical conclusion would be to choose a bear. If the bear goes off, the poor subject of our hypothetical question still stands a chance of survival. If the TNT goes off, our poor subject basically got violently Thanos snapped and I don’t have any of the Infinity Stones on me. However, if that question was presented to me, I would choose to encounter the TNT. See, while TNT-kun can explosively reunite me with my paternal grandmother and maternal grandfather if it goes off, I have watched enough Road Runner Cartoons to know that as long as I don’t light the fuse or push down on the handle, then I can either go about getting my mandatory hike over with or hightail it out of the woods to go play video games like a sane person should. It’s not a question of is Hiroshima stronger than the Bear, it’s a matter of my chances of which scenario is least likely to implode.

In turn, a woman who wanted to make an informed decision about whether to hypothetically hike into a man or a bear would look at the statistics of murders and other crimes committed by bears and murders and other crimes committed by men and compare the data.

Bears, bears, and bears! Oh my!

As a right-brained logically driven cisgender man, I strove to understand why a bear would attack a hiker on the trail. So I consulted some experts and dug up some bear facts.

You know what I learned? Bears are relatively lazy. It turns out that the creature that forages on berries and honey, catches stupid fish by standing upstream and letting them jump into their mouths, and sleeps for the majority of winter, tends to not actively seek out humans to maul hikers.

The statistics of black bear encounters show that they tend to run away upon seeing a human. In the rare scenarios where black bears had engaged in confrontation, 52% of those encounters were defensive. Not defensive in the fact that the woman chose the man over them; I felt the need to clarify that. No, defensive in the way that usually tends to involve humans having stupid behaviors, such as letting their fearless dogs accompany them without a leash or going off the laid trail.

33% percent were food motivated.

“Meh! But Rihon! Bears consider us fooood!”

Slow your roll, Cartman. This is different to the 15% of attacks that are predatory. They aren’t attacking Judy to snack on her booty. They’re attacking her because she’s isn’t sharing her Honeybuns, and the fact that all the Bears know that I’m referring to a type of Little Debbie Cake while their are some guys who are still imagining the butt of a fictional woman is part of the problem.

Bears as a species have begun to associate humans with the food that we bring with us. They view us as DoorDash or UberEats and are more interested in simply munching on our leftovers and trash than actually working for their food.

Now grizzly bears are larger, stronger, and more aggressive than black bears. If the question was choosing between the black bear or the grizzly bear, the black bear would be the logical choice. Yet most people don’t have to worry about grizzly bears because of their low population and territory range.

There’s roughly 45,000 grizzly bears in North America, with only a thousand of them living below the Canadian border. Given the opinion of hiking spots, I imagine most people prefer to hike where the air doesn’t freeze their knees.

No matter the bear, hikers can take preventive measures to avoid becoming a rare statistic.

Don’t let children run unattended. They tend to be an easier target and are more likely the statistic.

Don’t let doggos run loose. (Marmeduke is just going to upset the bear.)

Don’t follow a wounded bear. They are more defensive when wounded.

Don’t approach bear cubs that remind you of Winnie the Pooh. Mama bear tends to be protective of their young.

Just don’t follow or approach a bear.

Don’t explore areas that bears are known to inhabit. Stick to a trail.

Not to long ago, the Offline TV crew posted a second camping trip video. Around 56 minutes in, a family of black bears approached their campgrounds. While there was disagreement between which streamer saw what, there was enough evidence to conclude that there was at least a mama bear and a cub in the mix. The fierce creature ripped the tents to shreds and mauled no one! The internet streamers and crew had safely left to head back to an AirBNB. Interestingly enough, the gang somewhat covered up their thoughts of running into the bears. While Lily verbally reported that she was super bummed out that they had to leave and weren’t going to sleep outside on a below freezing night, the crew informed Toast that Lily only began smiling on the trip when it was decided that they had to go back to the AirBNB due to the bears.

As I was about to head out to volunteer for a weekend program, I saw bears make the news. They didn’t kill anyone, rather merely trespassed on someone’s property to go swimming in the pool.

That news stories reminded me of other odd stories, such as bears getting chased way from people’s homes… by their house cat.

In all the news stories about bears, where are the stories of how deadly they are?

What Statistics has to say about the question:

Now that we have covered a healthy amount of biology in bear behavior, let’s compare apples to oranges using statistics.

Here’s my proposal: I’ll consult reports easily gathered from the internet about the amount Canadian women who were victims of homicide by male killers. I will then compare that number to the amount of Canadian women who were killed by bears.

Above is the article that I used to calculate my figure for Canadian Women killed by men. Between 2018-2023, 697 Canadian women were killed by men.

So, all the Canadian bears have to do is rack up a kill count of 700 to become statistically more likely to be literal lady killers.

What is their kill count? Seven. From 2018-2023, Team Bears could only break 1% of the goal set by Team Canadian Males.

Statistically speaking, a Canadian woman is 100 times more likely to be killed by a man than to be killed by a bear. And that factor was drawn from me setting the location in heavy bears territory. If I were to run a similar research but set the location to the United States, the stats go more extreme.

The above link only looks at 2020. I added up the amount of American women killed by men from the five states that ranked the highest and easily exceeded the kill count from Canadian men with a five year span. Meanwhile, Team American bears only killed one woman during that year.

Based on the this set of collected data, American women are over 2000 times more likely to be killed by a man than by a bear.

Sociology and Why this Lecture Exists

At the end of the day, Bears weren’t the issue that needed to be focused on. My fellow men and I were not suppose to respond to women choosing bears with reasoning of whether their choice was logically justified. My fellow men and I should have instead reflected on why our female counterparts bore those feelings and what we as a society should do to change their perception of us.

Sexual assault committed against women by men is far more prevalent than murder. While sexual assault can be committed by any individual regardless of gender and victimized any individual regardless of gender, the statistics will show that women are subjugated to it far more than men. Both men and women have to adopt certain behaviors when they want to take a hike in the woods, but the men tend not to fret about carrying that same mentality when they venture out for a night on the town.

It’s here that I will conclude the lecture and issue out the homework assignment:

Team Bears - Turn in a nonfictional report detailing how a woman lost her life to a man.

Team Men - Turn in a nonfictional report detailing how a woman lost her life to a bear.

I’ll be grading on if the report had a source to prove its validity as well as the grammatical quality of report itself.

I will say solely bc you say anyone who picks bear is radfem-poisoned- there is another, albeit probably less common reason to pick the bear. I'd pick the bear, and not bc I hate or am afraid of men, but bc im autistic as fuck with a special interest in biology and genuinely understand animals better than people lmao. A chill man and a (albeit unlikely) chill bear would be fine either way, but if either was aggressive? I'd know more about how to escape the bear than I would having to escape any human trying to hurt me, bears have protocols to escapethat tend to work on any bear of that type, with exceptions, people don't lmao

To reference the original argument: to assume there is any level of comparable risk between bears and human men is fucking bonkers. It is illogical to compare the threat level of a human man and a bear. The bear is much more dangerous, hands-down. The same goes with any other human being. A bear is much more of a threat to you.

The ONLY reason to believe men and bears pose the same level of risk is to believe all the poison you've been taught about how evil and dangerous men are. There are two sources of this propaganda: 1: the patriarchy itself, because the idea of a hyper-aggressive man benefits the patriarchy's vision of men as the superior sex, and 2: radical feminists, who want all women so terrified of men that the only escape is separatism.

---

Ok, so now, let's operate off the new assumption that the gender of the human doesn't matter:

Honestly "I would rather be in mortal danger and have to run through all the protocols I know on how to survive a bear attack and potentially die rather than see another person" seems really, really... really illogical.

It doesn't matter how much you love animals or how much you know, if the bear tries to kill you it would be way better at it than a human. The bad part about nature is that it does not in fact follow protocol. I know a lot about how to escape bears too. It's advice, but bears do not have to follow that advice. You have a much higher chance of survival running away from a person.

And the fact is, 99.9% of people you meet (including men) are perfectly normal human beings who do not wish you harm. Hell, some of them are probably autistic with a special interest in bears. The human is probably just chilling with you. You don't even have to talk to them. You could just walk away.

Everyone keeps going "well what IF the person tried to attack me?" ignoring that such a situation is in fact very unlikely.

[brookston]

Holidays 3.6

Holidays

Alamo Day (Texas)

Black Balloon Day

Blackout Day

Chamorro Heritage Day (Guam)

Day of the Dude (Dudeism)

Dentist’s Day

European Day of the Righteous (EU)

European Day of Speech & Language Therapy

Feast of Excited Insects (China, Korea)

Foundation Day (Norfolk Island)

Headache Relief Day

Hospitality Workers in HealthCare Day

International Agunah Day

International Day of the Sculptor

International Day of the Skype Call

King Tut Day

Labour Day (Western Australia, Australia)

Marion Berry Day (DC)

Narcissus Day

National Brian Day

National Day of Tolerance and Coexistence (Iraq)

National Dress Day

National Emotional Civility Day

National Jute Day (Bangladesh)

National Report General Service Administration (GSA) Fraud Day

Silly Putty Day

Snowshoe Day

Sofia Kovalesvskaya Math Day

Stoneware Pottery Appreciation Day

Tolerance and Coexistence Day (Iraq)

Toronto Day (Canada)

Trollface Day

Women’s Day (Tajikistan)

World Conservation Strategy Day

World Lymphedema Day

Food & Drink Celebrations

National Frozen Food Day

National White Chocolate Cheesecake Day

Oreo Cookie Day (a.k.a. National Oreo Day)

World Laksa Day

1st Monday in March

Black Mental Health Day (Canada) [1st Monday]

Casmir Pulaski Day [1st Monday]

Fun Facts About Names Day [Monday of Name Week]

International Badge Day [1st Monday]

Labour Day (Western Australia) [1st Monday]

Magellan Day (a.k.a. Discovery Day; Guam) [1st Monday]

World Tennis Day [1st Monday]

Independence Days

Ghana (from UK, 1957)

Überstadt (Declared; 2010) [unrecognized]

Feast Days

Abelardo (Muppetism)

Baldred of Scotland (Christian; Saint)

Borrowed Days begin (Pastafarian)

Cadroe (Christian; Saint)

Chrodegang (Christian; Saint)

Colette (Christian; Saint)

Day of the East Wind (Pagan)

Festival of Mars (Old Roman God of War)

Fridolin (Christian; Saint)

Fusilli Day (Pastafarian)

Holi (a.k.a. Phagwah, Festival of Color; Guyana, India, Nepal, Suriname)

Kyneburga, Kyneswide and Tibba (Christian; Saint)

Marcian of Tortona (Christian; Saint)

William W. Mayo and Charles Frederick Menninger (Episcopal Church (USA))

Olegarius (Christian; Saint)

Purim (Judaism) [begins at sundown] (a.k.a. ... 

Fast of Esther;

Survival Celebration

Ta' Anit Ester

Quisling Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)

Rose of Viterbo (Christian; Saint)

Ta’anit Esther (The Fast of Esther; Judaism) [13 Adar]

Treachery Day (Church of the SubGenius)

Xenophanes (Positivist; Saint)

Lucky & Unlucky Days

Butsumetsu (仏滅 Japan) [Unlucky all day.]

Perilous Day (13th Century England) [12 of 32]

Premieres

The Big Lebowski (Film; 1998)

Chappie (Film; 2015)

÷ (a.k.a. Divide), by Ed Sheeran (Album; 2017)

Everest (IMAX Documentary Film; 1998)

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (Film; 1921)

Kidnapping Mr. Heineken (Film; 2015) 

Kissin’ Cousins (Film; 1964) [Elvis Presley #14]

La Traviata (The Fallen Woman), by Giuseppe Verdi (Opera; 1853)

Lethal Weapon (Film; 1987)

Let It Be, by The Beatles (Song; 1970)

Lorenzo (Disney Cartoon; 2004)

Medusa, by Annie Lennox (Album; 1995)

Onward (Animated Film; 2020)

Paint It Black, recorded by The Rolling Stones (Song; 1966)

Playdate with Destiny (Animated Simpsons Cartoon; 2020)

There Goes My Baby, recorded by The Drifters (Song; 1959)

The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (Film; 2015)

To Be or Not to Be (Film; 1942)

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (TV Series; 2015)

U.S. Marshals (Film; 1998)

Watchmen (Film; 2009)

The Young Victoria (Film; 2009)

Today’s Name Days

Fridolin, Nicola, Rosa (Austria)

Ruža, Viktor, Zvjezdana (Croatia)

Miroslav (Czech Republic)

Gotfred (Denmark)

Tarmo, Tarmu (Estonia)

Tarmo (Finland)

Colette (France)

Fridolin, Nicola, Nicole, Rosa (Germany)

Isyhios (Greece)

Inez, Leonóra (Hungary)

Colette, Giordano, Ezio, Marziano, Marzio (Italy)

Centis, Gotfrids, Vents (Latvia)

Karigailė, Norvilas, Raminta, Rožė (Lithuania)

Andor, Annfrid (Norway)

Eugenia, Felicyta, Frydolin, Jordan, Klaudian, Koleta, Róża, Wiktor, Wiktoriusz, Wojsław (Poland)

Radoslav (Slovakia)

Julián, Olegario (Spain)

Ebba, Ebbe (Sweden)

Carlton, Charlton, Colette, Collette (USA)

Today is Also…

Day of Year: Day 65 of 2023; 300 days remaining in the year

ISO: Day 1 of week 10 of 2023

Celtic Tree Calendar: Nuin (Ash) [Day 16 of 28]

Chinese: Month 2 (Yi-Mao), Day 15 (Gui-Hai)

Chinese Year of the: Rabbit 4721 (until February 10, 2024)

Hebrew: 13 Adar 5783

Islamic: 13 Sha’ban 1444

J Cal: 4 Ver; Foursday [4 of 30]

Julian: 21 February 2023

Moon: 99%: Waxing Gibbous

Positivist: 9 Aristotle (3rd Month) [Xenophanes]

Runic Half Month: Tyr (Cosmic Pillar) [Day 11 of 15]

Season: Winter (Day 76 of 90)

Zodiac: Pisces (Day 15 of 29)

[brookstonalmanac]

Holidays 3.6

Holidays

Alamo Day (Texas)

Black Balloon Day

Blackout Day

Chamorro Heritage Day (Guam)

Day of the Dude (Dudeism)

Dentist’s Day

European Day of the Righteous (EU)

European Day of Speech & Language Therapy

Feast of Excited Insects (China, Korea)

Foundation Day (Norfolk Island)

Headache Relief Day

Hospitality Workers in HealthCare Day

International Agunah Day

International Day of the Sculptor

International Day of the Skype Call

King Tut Day

Labour Day (Western Australia, Australia)

Marion Berry Day (DC)

Narcissus Day

National Brian Day

National Day of Tolerance and Coexistence (Iraq)

National Dress Day

National Emotional Civility Day

National Jute Day (Bangladesh)

National Report General Service Administration (GSA) Fraud Day

Silly Putty Day

Snowshoe Day

Sofia Kovalesvskaya Math Day

Stoneware Pottery Appreciation Day

Tolerance and Coexistence Day (Iraq)

Toronto Day (Canada)

Trollface Day

Women’s Day (Tajikistan)

World Conservation Strategy Day

World Lymphedema Day

Food & Drink Celebrations

National Frozen Food Day

National White Chocolate Cheesecake Day

Oreo Cookie Day (a.k.a. National Oreo Day)

World Laksa Day

1st Monday in March

Black Mental Health Day (Canada) [1st Monday]

Casmir Pulaski Day [1st Monday]

Fun Facts About Names Day [Monday of Name Week]

International Badge Day [1st Monday]

Labour Day (Western Australia) [1st Monday]

Magellan Day (a.k.a. Discovery Day; Guam) [1st Monday]

World Tennis Day [1st Monday]

Independence Days

Ghana (from UK, 1957)

Überstadt (Declared; 2010) [unrecognized]

Feast Days

Abelardo (Muppetism)

Baldred of Scotland (Christian; Saint)

Borrowed Days begin (Pastafarian)

Cadroe (Christian; Saint)

Chrodegang (Christian; Saint)

Colette (Christian; Saint)

Day of the East Wind (Pagan)

Festival of Mars (Old Roman God of War)

Fridolin (Christian; Saint)

Fusilli Day (Pastafarian)

Holi (a.k.a. Phagwah, Festival of Color; Guyana, India, Nepal, Suriname)

Kyneburga, Kyneswide and Tibba (Christian; Saint)

Marcian of Tortona (Christian; Saint)

William W. Mayo and Charles Frederick Menninger (Episcopal Church (USA))

Olegarius (Christian; Saint)

Purim (Judaism) [begins at sundown] (a.k.a. ... 

Fast of Esther;

Survival Celebration

Ta' Anit Ester

Quisling Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)

Rose of Viterbo (Christian; Saint)

Ta’anit Esther (The Fast of Esther; Judaism) [13 Adar]

Treachery Day (Church of the SubGenius)

Xenophanes (Positivist; Saint)

Lucky & Unlucky Days

Butsumetsu (仏滅 Japan) [Unlucky all day.]

Perilous Day (13th Century England) [12 of 32]

Premieres

The Big Lebowski (Film; 1998)

Chappie (Film; 2015)

÷ (a.k.a. Divide), by Ed Sheeran (Album; 2017)

Everest (IMAX Documentary Film; 1998)

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (Film; 1921)

Kidnapping Mr. Heineken (Film; 2015) 

Kissin’ Cousins (Film; 1964) [Elvis Presley #14]

La Traviata (The Fallen Woman), by Giuseppe Verdi (Opera; 1853)

Lethal Weapon (Film; 1987)

Let It Be, by The Beatles (Song; 1970)

Lorenzo (Disney Cartoon; 2004)

Medusa, by Annie Lennox (Album; 1995)

Onward (Animated Film; 2020)

Paint It Black, recorded by The Rolling Stones (Song; 1966)

Playdate with Destiny (Animated Simpsons Cartoon; 2020)

There Goes My Baby, recorded by The Drifters (Song; 1959)

The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (Film; 2015)

To Be or Not to Be (Film; 1942)

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (TV Series; 2015)

U.S. Marshals (Film; 1998)

Watchmen (Film; 2009)

The Young Victoria (Film; 2009)

Today’s Name Days

Fridolin, Nicola, Rosa (Austria)

Ruža, Viktor, Zvjezdana (Croatia)

Miroslav (Czech Republic)

Gotfred (Denmark)

Tarmo, Tarmu (Estonia)

Tarmo (Finland)

Colette (France)

Fridolin, Nicola, Nicole, Rosa (Germany)

Isyhios (Greece)

Inez, Leonóra (Hungary)

Colette, Giordano, Ezio, Marziano, Marzio (Italy)

Centis, Gotfrids, Vents (Latvia)

Karigailė, Norvilas, Raminta, Rožė (Lithuania)

Andor, Annfrid (Norway)

Eugenia, Felicyta, Frydolin, Jordan, Klaudian, Koleta, Róża, Wiktor, Wiktoriusz, Wojsław (Poland)

Radoslav (Slovakia)

Julián, Olegario (Spain)

Ebba, Ebbe (Sweden)

Carlton, Charlton, Colette, Collette (USA)

Today is Also…

Day of Year: Day 65 of 2023; 300 days remaining in the year

ISO: Day 1 of week 10 of 2023

Celtic Tree Calendar: Nuin (Ash) [Day 16 of 28]

Chinese: Month 2 (Yi-Mao), Day 15 (Gui-Hai)

Chinese Year of the: Rabbit 4721 (until February 10, 2024)

Hebrew: 13 Adar 5783

Islamic: 13 Sha’ban 1444

J Cal: 4 Ver; Foursday [4 of 30]

Julian: 21 February 2023

Moon: 99%: Waxing Gibbous

Positivist: 9 Aristotle (3rd Month) [Xenophanes]

Runic Half Month: Tyr (Cosmic Pillar) [Day 11 of 15]

Season: Winter (Day 76 of 90)

Zodiac: Pisces (Day 15 of 29)

[satellite-blossom]

Oh boy I saw a post about Black Pete (aka "Pierre le noir" in French) and oh dear that made me remember that we seriously have an issue of casual racism in this part of Europe (France, Belgium and the Netherlands most specifically).

You still have white people playing "cowboys and Indians" in French ads and no-one says anything. This year I was watching the 1 pm news (which are supposed to be silly and chill), and they were covering a silly seagull screaming competition in the north of France ; everyone was costumed and suddenly I saw a guy in blackface just chilling there and no-one said anything. You try to watch a classic French cartoon while it reruns on TV during the holidays (Astérix comes to mind but that's not the only one) and you see racist caricatures of black people just popping in and it ruins your mood (thinking about the Astérix & Obélix chez Cléopâtre cartoon right now). In the north there are still people wearing blackface and "savage" costumes (= black afro, animal skin tunic and bone in the nose with sometimes blackface too) to carnival... And of course there's Pierre le noir, with his large red lips and other caricatural features...

And don't even get me started on French cinema, which is 80% comedies about old white Christians having to coexist with "so weird and wacky others" ("others" as in black, Asian, Arabic, Jewish, Muslim, ...) who are totally like the clichés say, and sooo different from "us" and so extra and soooo bold & intrusive ❢

Dear God I'm so tired of it. And I'm not even bringing up my personal, direct experiences with racism, some of which date from preschool nonetheless.

[carbonateddelusion]

Ben and I have this lil Strawberry Shortcake-esque idea about a little town full of furs that teach basic kids' cartoon lessons like "be appreciative" and "eat healthy"

that's where these two, Strawberry (based off of the Japanese white strawberry with red seeds) and Blackberry, come from. Strawb's a big ray of sunshine who has infamously terrible luck, but everybody still lets him hang around because he's just so sweet. Blackberry (who would discover she's trans in one of the first 'episodes' thanks to SB, who is also trans) is very much the grumpy goth girl stereotype who keeps to herself, but we play off that myth about black cats being bad luck by having HER unknowingly thwart everything that would make Strawberry stumble into a mishap. The first episode is all about her moving into the little town. Essentially, the plot revolves around Blackberry growing as a person, becoming more comfortable being herself, more comfortable being positive, and the town teaching her little lessons kinda like Grumpy Bear. It's all about getting her out of her shell.

There's a few other characters like Cherry and Cheri, the red panda twins; Blueberry, who runs the town bakery; Mulberry, who runs the library he volunteers at; and a buncha other -berry people I haven't decided on yet. All I know is that Blueberry is very hardworking, Mulberry is soft-spoken, they're both convinced they're too old to find love and have a family, but they're both head over heels for the other woman and Strawberry helps play cupid.

[nerdwriting]

The Creative Directors Behind Fate: The Winx Saga Must Not Be K-Pop Fans

Also, they have a pretty wrong idea of the role fashion should play in a show.

There are a few words that will stand out across most reviews of Netflix's Fate: The Winx Saga - drab, boring, flop, flat, unimaginative. Critics and audiences consensus is that the show is not only a mediocre-at-best story, but also an atrocious (and ultimately confusing) choice of adaptation of the color pop and fairy magic cartoon it’s based on, 2004 italian cartoon Winx Club.

Fate has plenty of it's own issues - white washing and erasing characters, cringey dialogue, outdated melodrama, etc. But where it truly, unequivocally fails is as an adaptation. Fate misses everything that was magical and lovable about the original series, in all levels, from bizarre writing choices, - such as never actually developing any sense of friendship between the characters, who are based on a cartoon about…..a group…….of friends -, but it's especially and immediately felt in the art direction and costume design.

Winx Club is set on a fantastical world, Magix, where each of our main characters hail from a different planet, à la Sailor Moon. Alfea, the fairy school they attend, is the most common background: a pastel colored, futuristic high tech-meets-fantasy, art nouveau inspired castle. Alfea sets the tone for the whole visual of the cartoon: bright, colorful, futuristic meets vintage, leaning into the technological positivism of the Y2K style, uniting it with magic, DnD worthy monsters and, of course, fairy wings. Often featured are also the Red Fountain school, where the Specialists train, and especially Cloud Tower, the goth and gothic inspired witch school Alfea has an OxBridge rivalry with (How cool would that be in a live action? I guess we’ll never know…).

On Fate, Alfea is the only school we ever see, and it’s another beige boarding school in not-Britain, somehow set in a magical world where everyone has the exact same technology and even social media that we have on Earth in 2021, no transformations and, most egregiously, no fairy wings.

This lack of visual creativity is pervasive throughout the whole show, and its most heartbreaking iteration is in the characters' wardrobe. The styling has the barest bones of a color scheme, - such as 'Bloom has to only dress in red since fire, duh',- the clothes are ill fitting, bland, dark and very dated. These are supposed to be teenagers who enjoy fashion, and yet they look like varying types of soccer moms from 2010.

The series seems to operate on an old and tired vision that women and girls can’t have depth and have adventures and fight monsters while also caring about fashion, a vision that the original show played a big, big role in challenging in the early 2000's. Fashion and costume design sets as much of the tone of a visual medium as the script does; through clothes we can gauge characters’ backgrounds, passions, and personality.

Winx Club has some of the best examples of this in the cartoon sphere - Bloom’s comfortable and bright style, Stella’s glitzy and bold, Musa’s edgy and cool, Aisha’s sporty and fun, Techna’s neon and tech gear inspired, Flora’s earthy and romantic, they all work as extensions of each character and serve a narrative purpose. And that’s not even mentioning how insulting it feels that in their quest to make Winx “edgier, darker” and fit for an older audience, the creators of Fate somehow decided that was in opposition to caring about style and fashion. Most “girly” shows, including the Winx Club are just as much adventure action shows as the ones geared towards boys, and it’s emphasis in fashion, friendship and color does not detract from that. The original run of the cartoon deals with war, violence, grief, abusive relationships and even genocide; leaning into those plotlines would not require Fate to erase any integral parts of what made Winx so beloved, and the fact that they did shows that the Netflix team completely missed the point of fashion in the original show, and really, the point of fashion and costume design in the world building of any show.

That, however, is not a mistake K-Pop makes very often; (This might seem like a bit of wild swerve in topic, but stay with me here). Unlike it's western counterpart, the Korean pop scene never lost the emphasis on music videos and how the visual medium can complete and potentialize music and performance; the K-Pop culture is very album and concept oriented in a way that has been all but lost in many other pop circuits, and the music video, styling and set design of a ‘comeback era’ is a key point of excitement among fans.

As such, music videos that follow storylines, connected universes, boundary pushing concepts and visual effects are the norm, rather than the exception, and a list could be made of works that are beautiful examples of what a live action Winx adaptation could look like. In fact, and very smoothly, here is a small list of exactly that!

A Small List of K-Pop Music Videos That Are Better Winx Club Live Actions Than Fate: The Winx Saga

3. Red Velvet - Psycho

If it was a darker and more somber look that Fate wanted, there was a way to make it actually appealing. While it still feels a liiitle too grown up and elegant for Winx, (maybe this author is biased, as a full proponent for the Y2K fun) Psycho makes a very compelling argument for a witchy, mysterious, fairy tale-esque show that could look scrumptious and definitely not boring, or even a gorgeous example of what the witches in Cloud Tower could look like. Black and white, dark green, pastel blue and pops of jewel tones make Psycho's color palette. To add interest to the understated colors, the styling is heavy on textures; We see plenty of stonework, intricate embroidery, tassels, lace on lace on lace, feathers, bows, opera gloves and lots of glitter. All of that is offset by bold, dark makeup, leather accents and eerie cinematography. Needle & Thread, Marchesa Notte and Self Portrait lend their hyper feminine and intricately detailed tulle gowns, juxtaposed with the creepiness of the lyrics and the dark backgrounds; their deep berry and green fairy tale looks are built with pieces from Zara to Nina Ricci to Dolce & Gabbana to Alexander McQueen.

Red Velvet’s more edgy styling for 2018's Bad Boy would also not feel out of place on the Trix.

2. IZ*ONE - Fiesta

IZ*ONE kicked off 2020 with sweet and fun Fiesta. The MV features rooms with mismatched décor that go from retro to space opera, rocky faux landscapes that feel other worldly, and visual effects that would look perfect on the back of a transformation sequence. Mirroring the set design, the girls wear various outfits by sustainable up and coming brand Chopova Lowena. Their signature skirts made with discarded and repurposed fabrics give a cool and interesting twist on a schoolgirl look that would look very sweet for a band of school fairies that occasionally go off to save the world. Also, wouldn't those bedazzled headphones look great on Musa's fairy outfit?

1. Aespa - Black Mamba and Next Level

Aespa is what fans call a monster rookie. With only three music videos under their belt, they still have some of the most visually interesting work in the industry right now. Their concept is very tied in with high tech, featuring even AI avatars of each member, packaged in a glitzy, fantastical and futuristic aesthetic, candy pop meets cyberpunk. I think I’ve exhausted ways to say that is exactly what a perfect Winx adaptation should feature.

Their debut smash hit, 2020’s Black Mamba is truly a perfect moodboard for live action Winx. Wearing a sequined and colorful mix and match of Dollskill, Gucci, Didu and Balenciaga to a backdrop that features some alien fairy forest realness, a pyschedelic fever dream, rooms straight out of a Y2K catalog or donning lime green and black techwear inside a metro fighting the "black mamba", Aespa look through and through the part of fashion loving fairies who save the world together, while looking fierce, stylish and, most importantly, interesting.

The styling and the sets jump seamlessly from more casual colorful fits with blouses, shirts and baggy pants to barren, darkly lit backgrounds and fringe-and-glitter heavy pieces necessary to fight giant snakes, in a way so fitting to transformation outfits for magical girls we could cry.

In their third MV, 2021's Next Level, the cyber in their concept is taken up a notch (get it. because Next Level-), set to a futuristic urbanscape intersped with a planet made of crystals and the ocasional alien fauna popping up again. We get treated to Monse, The 2nd Skin Co., Johanna Ortiz and The Attico styled to fairy princess standards, sporty sky racers and a white and sequined group styling that is top ten fairy busy saving the world uniform material, or maybe even a specialist worthy getup.

This particular look from Ningning is so Techna that it almost feels as if it's mocking Netflix.

And doesn’t this Karina trapped inside the "black mamba" in Alexander McQueen feel like a perfect Dark Bloom moment?

These are only a few examples of interesting and creative designs that are in line with what a live action Winx Club should have given us. There are so many more I could list, even among other TV Shows, like Sex Education and even polemic dark Euphoria, that know how to have fun with style and design without losing the depth of their stories. In the end, it's hard to justify why Fate creators even wanted to make an adaptation that didn't even try to capture the heart of its source material, and all we can do is watch one more "Restyling Fate: The Winx Saga" video on Youtube whilst mildly dreading season 2.

[inky-duchess]

Fantasy Guide to Make-Up and Cosmetics

If I am to be completely honest with you all, I know nothing about make-up. Those little brushes and endless sponges mean nothing to me except the fact that they are really soft and sometimes shiny. I don't wear makeup so you can imagine how useless I am at modern make-up.

However, history is my jam and I know about what make-up they use centuries ago. So never fear @theflyingravenbird I got you.

Ingredients and Applications

Make-up and cosmetics of the past were usually sourced from natural ingredients. The more difficult the ingredients were the more expensive the cosmetic was. Natural dies such as red ochre and berries were used to stain lips or colour powder to use as blusher to add colour to the lips. For examples:

Geishas of Japan are probably the most recognizable make-up wearers in the world. Historically and in some more traditional okiyas, the geishas painted their faces with rice powder to give them that unbroken, white complexion. A popular recipe for their crimson lipsticks involved extracting pigment from crushed safflower petals.

Henna paste made from the eponymous plant can be used as hair dye and to trace designs on the feet and hands.

Kohl is a black powder that is famous for its popularity in Egyptian Cultures and even the Persian Empire. Kohl lines the eyes like modern eyeliners and is found when one grounds stibnite. Kohl actually had the luck of preventing eye infections which no doubt helped in the climate of Egypt and beyond.

The Phoenicians used powdered metals of gold, silver and other metals to dust their faces. This is reputably thought to denote their wealthy status.

Rouge or blusher has had numerous recipes throughout history. The Ancient Egyptians made rouge from red ochre and animal fat. The Romans made their rouge from lead and cinnabar, which sounds about as bad for you as you think it does. The Ancient Greeks made it from pressed mulberries or other fruits such as beet and strawberries. The Ancient Chinese made rouge from extracts of coloured flowers.

Ancient Chinese cultures used a mixture of gumarabic, gelatin, beeswax, and eggs to stain their nails. The colors were often used to denote social class. Gold and silver was worn by royalty or black and red. The lower classes were not prohibited to wear bright colours.

Lipstick has also a few recipes. Egyptians used pounded carmine, a kind of insect, to smear on their lips. Other ancient civilizations used red ochre. Vermilion (though toxic) was also used, along with crushed flowers with red pigment mixed with beeswax during the Elizabethan period.

During the late Elizabeth and then again in the Baroque period, women and some men began to paint their faces with white powder. The layer of white lead and vinegar, or ceruse was popular for tears despite the hair loss and death it caused.

Make Up Tools

Powderpuffs: the powderpuff was a pad of soft material meant to apply powder to one's face. They were made of feathers, cotton or sheep's fleece.

Brushes: Brushes have been been around for ever. They have been found in some of the earliest Egyptian tombs. The brushes were often made from animal hair with wooden or more expensive handles.

Pots of pigment, scents and ointments: Some early tombs excavated from ancient civilizations have included what amounts to a palette (thank you lil sis for that word). The pigments in the pots would be very expensive. Ointments and balms have also been found. Perfumes were very popular in antiquity and made a recurrence in Europe after the Crusades (which helped since some of the make up smelled awful).

Make Up and Social standing

Though make up is rather popular now, it had a rather uncertain rise to popularity.

Most Ancient civilizations wore some kind of cosmetic. The overuse of cosmetics in ancient times was frowned on as prostitutes and actors often wore dramatic make up however the elite often smeared themselves with powders to make them paler and redden their cheeks.

In the Middle Ages, makeup had a dual reputation. The Church frowned on it because it was again popular with prostitutes and actors but it was a common consensus that if the woman was scarred from smallpox or some other disease she was excused from being labelled as vain.

In the late Elizabethan period, theatres were getting more popular and as was makeup. Actors began wearing make up more frequently as did the elite. Elizabeth I herself was infamous for her milk-white skin. Make up became more sociably acceptable among the rich and noble at this point.

The 1700s probably saw the height of make up madness. Both women and men of the elite powdered themselves with white lead paint. They rouged their cheeks to high pigment and stuck small dots of felt to cover blemishes. The commons began to poke fun at the elite's strange obsession with looking like they've lost all their blood. Dandies and painted noblewomen were often poked fun at by pamphlets and satirical cartoons.

The Victorians frowned on make up, thinking it garish and common. Queen Victoria herself denounced make up as uncouth which lead the elite to abandon it in droves. However, most women prized a clear complexion so there was a lot of secret make-up-ing going on.

During the Edwardian period and the 1920s, make up began to get more popular. Older more respectable women began trying makeup to fresh their complexion. The younger generations began to experiment with makeup leading to the infamous smokey eye look.

[fictionkinfessions]

eating spicy beef jerky threw me neckdeep in a scourge (warrior cats) kinshift again so. here i go, kin games, whoo. just gonna do all of them (except for the ones that dont apply ofc) in one ask. block of text ahead!

source birthdays: id be currently seventeen if i was born when the first book i was in came out, october 1st 2004. although; my novella did come out fourteen years ago (and relatively close to my birthday now actually? 6/24/08) reverself: the most obvious would be that im from a redemption au (revived after the battle, joins thunderclan, the whole shebang you know the gist) but i suppose a discrepancy from the stereotypical “scourge joins thunderclan and becomes better??” au would be i kept wearing my collar. not sure why, probably out of habit. stims: i suppose the one that comes to mind was that i constantly was tapping my paws and claws on things. myself, the ground, the garbage bin i always perched upon, constantly. if i wasnt trying to be quiet, i was tappin’. i still do this lmao happy memories: leaning more to content but oh well. my kanon design is very improbable in reality now. so i did have hair, and i dyed the tips of it red with crushed berries. yeah. i have several memories of me doing this when it faded. i had a conversation with brick while i was doing it once, ultimately it wasnt about anything in particular but its a core memory now so? oh well. gender and orientation: i didnt have the labels for it then, but aroace agender guy. canon plushie: i actually didnt know i had one! cute, but not incredibly similar to me. i had yellow eyes, it wasnt just the one white paw (+ my left front paw was black lol) but everything else looks good. the collar texture seems to be almost the exact same, i did have a nick in my ear at the exact same spot. canon names: oh man. it was pronounced skerj. i do see where sker-ourge (+ sker-gorge) comes from, but its not. silliest memory: i dont have too many memories so i guess ill just go with this one. i was found out to be alive by thunderclan because my paw slipped, i fell out of a tree (not sure why i was on it in the first place), and right into a border patrol. i like to picture i made the cartoon "boing!" sound when i hit the ground.

[officialinvisibleanon]

Hey, Hanazuki! Something, something, multiverse, right? So... do you have any neat stories from your travels?

Hanazuki: "Oh shoot, actually, yeah! I just realized- I don't really tell my stories to anyone, despite knowing- a LOT of people. Uh... lemme think..."

"Okay, so- there's this modern reboot of a show called Strawberry Shortcake, the reboot being called Strawberry Shortcake: Berry Big City, and during my visit to- a non-canon version of that cartoon, I commented on how it makes no sense for people to be named after food in a modernized society because there are way more people than there are foods, and- in saying that, mind you, I have not told anyone my name yet, I joked about how I would be called something like 'Cookies'n'Cream' because of my black and white clothing. So- THEN they- Strawberry Shortcake and her friends, assumed that was my name because I phrased the joke poorly and OF COURSE I would be named that, as my clothing- my design is basically perfect for that name. 11 minutes of shenanigans later, and my name legally became 'Cookie N. Cream' in that specific universe. I honestly found it so hilarious that I've decided that it'll be a running gag- or whatever you call it- in different 'Shortcake-esque' universes. An in- I'll call myself that when 'Berry's', humanoids from the SSCU(Strawberry Shortcake Cinematic Universe), ask me my name! Cause technically it's accurate!"

Ace!Inviz: "...pff- HA-"

Ace!Inviz process to laugh in the background, but I can't put two different sounds at the same time in the text so just imagine him laughing as Hanazuki speaks.

Hanazuki: "Right??? Incredible! I got a million more like this, just ask!"

[sweetness47]

The Sleeping Beauty

Pairing Sam x Reader

@spnfluffbingo square filled: fairy tale AU

Warnings: nothing really, I don’t think anyways. Implied smut at the end? Mild violent scenes. Nothing too descriptive anywhere.

Final word count: 1924

Sam brought his arm around YN, smiling as she settled into his warm embrace. They were just hanging around, channel flipping, enjoying the quiet evening. Dean was at the bar, and Cas had gone with him, it was almost like a date, but neither would admit such a thing.

YN shivered as Sam traced along her arm, the touch so feathery soft, yet spoke volumes to the thoughts going through his mind. One of the things she liked about Sam was his quiet demeanor, the way   caressed her with a mere look, undressed her with his eyes. The thoughts that danced across his beautiful hazel orbs every time he looked at her, like she was a goddess, and he worshipped the ground she walked on, they made her feel like she could do anything as long as she had him.

They gazed at each other, lost in their silent caresses, too entranced to notice the lights flicker. There was a storm outside, so it would have been shrugged off as coincidence, until the TV went wonky, the picture flitting off and on, landing briefly on the screen of death, then landing on a movie.

“Sam, weren’t we watching Food network? How did we end up on Disney?”

Sam glanced at YN, then at the tv. Frowning, he looked back at his love. “No idea, must be some weird effect from the storm. Anyways, its one of your favorites. We can watch it if you want.”

He knew her well. Sleeping Beauty was indeed one of her all time favorite Disney classics. She was a sucker for romance and brave heroes.

YN snuggled closer to Sam. “Ok. Can you turn it up a bit though? It’s really quiet.”

No sooner did Sam touch the remote, a brilliant white light lit the entire room, and when it had subsided, Sam and YN were no longer there.

**

YN woke feeling strange, but she couldn’t figure out why. She also had no clue as to why she could hear birds chirping and smell fresh forest air. It was that moment her eyes flew open, noting she wasn’t in her bed, neither was she in her house.

In fact, she was most definitely not in her realm.

She was a cartoon, and not just any cartoon, but she was in fact, Princess Aurora.

But where was Sam? How did they get there? And how on Earth were they ever going to get home?

**

Sam woke standing in a stable, beside a horse. A cartoon horse. Running over to the fresh bucket of water, he glanced at his reflection and was shocked to see he was a cartoon. He was in Sleeping Beauty. He was Prince Philip, actually.

Maybe, YN was Aurora.

But how did this happen? He remembered when he had been transported with Dean and Cas into Scooby Doo, so maybe this was the same kind of deal. As long as they played out the story, they should be returned to their world at the end.

He just had to make sure he didn’t die, and that YN was unharmed as well. He’d only seen this particular movie a couple of times, but he knew the basics. It looked like they had come into the movie about midway, where Phillip is getting ready to go riding in the forest, and meets Aurora for the first time.

He saddled Samson and easily swung up onto the horse. He paced his ride to a slow trot, enjoying the natural sounds of the forest, but also listening for the musical voice that would lead him to YN/Aurora. He had heard her sing to many of the Disney films they’d watched over the years, and knew she could carry a tune fairly well. His opinion might be somewhat bias but in his heart he knew she was more than capable of playing this role.

**

YN, having seen this movie many times, played the role of Briar Rose perfectly. She was sent by the fairies to pick berries in the woods. She strolled along the paths, feeling the grass tickle her feet as she walked. For fun, she decided to see if she could really sing like the princess in the film, so she began humming, then quietly singing lines about animals having someone to love, yet she remained single. Her heart hoped the Prince was Sam, because he was who she desired the most.

As expected, the lovebirds finally find each other. Sam practically leaps off the horse and catches YN in his arms as she meets him halfway. They dance along the grassy meadow and sing together, gazing into each other’s eyes lovingly.

They know they can’t stay there, or run away together, if they want to go back to their own world, so Sam and YN reluctantly part ways, promising to finish the story so they can live happily ever after. Together in each other’s arms, forever.

YN returns to the cottage in the glen and finds the surprise dress and birthday cake her guardians have made. They then tell her the truth of her identity, and YN feels her heart break as she pretends to be distraught over the thought of never seeing the young man she met in the forest. Dressed in the beautiful blue gown, and covered in a blue cloak, the three fairies carefully lead the princess to her home and to her parents.

Once there, they lead her to a secluded room so they can keep her safe till the sun has set, thereby foiling the prophecy Maleficent had bestowed upon Aurora when she was a baby. The three of them combined their magic to create a beautiful crown to place upon YN’s head. She looked at the golden tiara and broke down into sobs, her head resting upon her arm on her dresser as she shed tears for her beloved.

When the fairies left her alone for a few minutes, YN knew what would come next, but the trance caused by the green orb took away all her sorrows, but also took away her free will. It was like watching from outside her body. Her mind was being controlled, but she still had her own consciousness. Ever so slowly, she climbed the steps to the top tower, where her fate awaited.

The princess entered the room the orb had coaxed her to, and walked toward the spinning wheel that stood in the middle of the floor. She could hear a menacing voice telling her to touch the spindle of the spinning wheel, but she hesitated briefly, then as the voice in her head grew more demanding, she could no longer resist.

The last thing she remembered was pricking her finger on the sharp point, her body crumpling to the ground as a deep slumber overtook her.

**

Sam made his way to the cottage he’d been ‘invited to’ by YN, but he couldn’t exactly remember what would happen next. He knew Phillip would get captured by Maleficent, and that it would be soon, but when he knocked on the cottage and stepped in, he wasn’t prepared to be overcome so quickly. The evil hordes quickly tied him up and took him away, his anger rising as the evil witch laughed at him.

Chained to the dungeon wall in Maleficent’s home, he listened to her goad him, telling him she would release him in 100 years to rescue his love, then laughing at him as he struggled to break free and kill her.

Once she left him, the three fairies, who had found Aurora lying on the ground in the tower, snuck inside the forbidden mountain where the evil witch resided, and freed Phillip from the chains. Bestowing upon him the Shield of Faith and the Mighty Sword of Truth, they led him to freedom and, after freeing Samson, they helped him escape.

Maleficent heard the commotion and was beyond angry at the incompetence of her minions. She sent a cursed wall of thorns to stop Sam from getting to the castle, but the sword he’d been gifted with cut the magical weeds with ease. He would take on the world if it meant rescuing his beloved YN.

When the thorns failed to stop him, Maleficent appeared before Phillip and spoke these words, “Now shall you deal with me, O Prince, and all the powers of hell!”

With a maniacal laugh, the witch changed, grew, and there before Sam stood a large black dragon. Sam charged at the dragon, and was met with a fiery blast. The shield easily protected him, and Phillip jumped off his horse to fight the great beast. Maleficent snapped her jaws at him, breathed fire at him, but the prince remained strong and vigilant.

When a rather powerful blast knocked Phillip’s shield away, Maleficent laughed and reveled in her almost victory. He wouldn’t survive now that he had no shield. But while she laughed, the three good fairies enchanted the Sword of truth:

O Sword of Truth, fly swift and sure,

That evil die and good endure!

When they finished the spell, Sam threw the sword at the large dragon, piercing her heart. With a great cry, the evil Maleficent fell to her death, never to darken the kingdom again.

With her death, the thorns and fire disappeared, allowing Sam to enter the castle and seek out YN. He reached the room where the fairies had laid her down on a soft bed, and bent down to capture her lips in a gentle kiss. YN woke, smiling as she gazed into her lover’s eyes.

They made their way to the grand ball room and paid respect to the king and queen, YN rushing to embrace her ‘parents’. Then the prince and princess danced and shared a kiss, and lived happily ever after.

As they kissed, lights flashed, blinding them, and they held on to each other, hoping they were going back home.

**

Sam and YN opened their eyes and found themselves back in the living room, the tv back on the Food channel and everything back to normal. They remembered everything though. Sam cleared his throat, and looked at YN.

“That was interesting.” He commented.

“It was, definitely, and kinda fun.” She replied.

“It got me thinking YN. I don’t want to waste any more time just dating you. I love you. I want to marry you, have children with you, grow old with you. Say you’ll be mine.”

YN felt her eyes sting with happy tears. “Sam, I can’t imagine any part of my future where you are not in it. You complete me, and you’ve made me the happiest woman in the world. I love you so much, and I can’t wait to marry you, grow old with you, and have children with you.” She giggled as she said the last part. “Speaking of…I was going to tell you tonight anyways, but, um, we’ve already started the having children part.”

Sam’s eyes widened as her words caught up with him. “Really?”

The biggest grin she’d ever seen adorned his face as he joyously swung her around, planting kisses all over her face and neck. Picking her up bridal style, he took her to their room where he spent most of the night showing her how much he loved her.

@legion1993 @drkcnry67 @lyarr24 @idreamofplaid​

[unholyplumpprincess]

Self Care

Commission for @ago-fucks of miragehound/reader with reader getting pampered after working such long nights and being exhausted. They’re spoiled with lots of domestic fluff in the beginning and then lots of orgasms.

Reblogs > Likes. It cost zero dollars to reblog the fics you like :D

Relationship: Mirage/Bloodhound/Reader

Fandom: Apex Legends

Warnings: R18+/NSFT, Reader has a vulva, Mirage is trans and words to describe are cunt/clit/pussy, Bloodhound has a penis and words described are dick/cock, Ago’s headcanons and not mine so Bloodhound is written different!, Fluff, sex ofc, but otherwise nothin rough?, collars, mentions of safe words/signals but only cause it’s heALTHY

Words: 5k

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When you were in a relationship with two of the infamous Apex games legends, you learned really quickly that every day would be a new surprise. At least, in the beginning. Now comfortably having been together for a few years, you find yourself immersed in both of them in a familiarity that brings warmth to your chest.

Though their jobs may have been going into a mini battlefield and shooting each other up on a daily basis for the seasons, that didn’t stop you from working at your own job. Art was a difficult field to pursue. From the schooling to the finding a job part. You loved your job, able to chase your passion! Yet, you were still very worked to the bone and found yourself aching from hunching over your desk to work through these character concepts for an upcoming cartoon. Your legs ached with the need to move from their constant folded position and all in all you were just tired.

Thankfully, your partners were ever so careful with you when they were home for the season ends. Bloodhound was always first to lie you out for a massage, kissing over your jaw and neck or down the line of your spine with utter gentleness. Elliott was a good listener, letting you rest your head in his lap while he stroked your hair and you either whined or excitedly showed him the new concepts via your phone. Both were entirely supportive, but also concerned for your wellbeing.

~Rest under the cut~

So, you’d come home today. Tired and murmuring in a quieter voice as you rubbed at your eyes, nursing a migraine. Elliott had suggested a quiet movie, already knowing you’d fall asleep during it even if you tried to whine otherwise. And lo and behold, not thirty minutes into it, you’d fallen asleep on the couch. Head on Elliott’s thigh while he stroked through your hair, and legs thrown over Bloodhound’s lap who was lovingly stroking down your thigh to your knee, then back.

“They need a day of spoiling.” Elliott murmurs, low enough not to wake you but loud enough for Bloodhound to hum in agreement. Elliott traces around your ear, tucking your hair and smiling when you sigh and nose at his thigh in return. “When’s their next day off?”

“Mmh. Tomorrow, I believe.” Bloodhound murmurs in return, stroking up to your hip to gently fix your shirt back into place that had ridden up. Stroking back down your thigh and smiling softly as you squirm a bit. “Let us get them into bed and we can discuss something. I am sure they would like your cooking. If you are up for it.” With that said, they carefully move your legs off their lap, watching you snuggle closer to Elliott. Carefully, they scoop under your body. Powerful arms able to cradle you as they go to tuck you into bed.

--

When you wake in the morning, your senses are first assaulted by the scent of pancakes cooking downstairs. You grumble a bit, feeling warm arms holding you in bed and a solid body pressed against you. A small turn of your head into their neck proves to be a mini space heater and the scent of pine and cinnamon. You smile, nosing into Bloodhound’s neck and feeling a scar residing there. “Good morning.” You murmur tiredly.

You hear them hum softly, already awake and aware as their fingers trace up under your shirt on your back. Smoothing their warm, calloused hands up your spine then back down. “Breakfast is not ready yet. You still had a few moments of rest,” They start, moving a hand from your back to gently cup your cheek, drawing you from your warm spot so you may make eye contact. Brown eyes so deep they could be black peer back at you, forming half little moons as they narrow in amusement at your sleepy appearance. “Torskildir- you are lovely, my dear.”

You laugh at them instead, sitting up on your shoulder so you could kiss one of their scarred, soft cheeks. “And you, are incredibly sappy in the mornings.” Their smile only deepens at you, dimples forming on their cheeks and wrinkles at the corners of their eyes. Beautiful, you think.

When you two finally do crawl out of bed, with Bloodhound insisting that you dress comfy for today and that they both had plans for you, you obey and only change into lounging clothing. They stay without a mask as you two head downstairs, only to be met by Elliott who has a bit of batter smeared on his cheek but beautiful wild berry and wild violet pancakes made. Freshly picked by Bloodhound this morning. You near about tear up at both your partners’ sweetness, sharing a good morning kiss with Elliott and remarking that he must have tasted the ingredients before fixing them together. Which earns you a cheeky grin and a finger over his lips that Bloodhound rolls their eyes at.

Throughout the day they spoil you in little ways. You all three end up sitting down for a marathon of your favorite movies, complete with blankets and you napping partial ways through them. Attention of your hair being petted and your legs causing you to go into a tired little stupor every now and then. You occasionally peek open your eyes to keep watching, or to turn your head and receive much needed kisses from Elliott, his stubble tickling your face.

When lunch time comes around, you’re not too hungry from a big breakfast so Bloodhound settles on making a little something with fresh herbs and berries. Fresh mint and different flora add an aesthetic touch to the fruit salads that make them even tastier.

You’re spoiled even then, taking berries from Elliott’s fingers and playfully sucking on his thumb’s fingertip when he lingers too long. Relishing as his face turns three shades darker and he averts his gaze with a soft, nervous laugh as he draws his hand from you. Bloodhound, who had been watching from close by, snuggled deep in their parka for the cooler weather, had merely smirked ever so knowingly at you.

They meet Elliott’s eyes who offers a charming half smile as they have a silent conversation together briefly.

Once it reaches dinner time, you’re kicked out of the kitchen much to your whining. Muninn and Arthur are even kicked from the kitchen, but you’re sure it’s just to keep you out of it. Arthur is much more snuggly, bringing you trinkets he finds around the house with little hops and crooning at you if you pick them up and thank him. Muninn lingers near your head, much more interested in preening your hair and watching the movie on the screen that’s playing in black and white with soft jazz coming from it.

Occasionally you get up, hearing the birds hopping after you as an alert to Bloodhound who easily comes sliding out of the kitchen to guide you back to the couch with harmless scolding. Their parka has been long since discarded for the warmer kitchen, now in dark tactical pants that fit them just right and a tight black tunic. You want to run your hands over their scarred, dark haired arms, and you try to but they gently shoo you away with a soft kiss to your nose. “Later, beloved. Be patient.” Is all the promise they give you before heading back to the kitchen.

You curse that their little cottage isn’t an open concept so you could watch them. Left to hear them idly talking with the music playing from Elliott’s speakers. Occasionally you hear giggling and some soft sounds that sound suspiciously like kissing and you can't help but smile every time at the happy noises.

You were so lucky.

When you’re finally allowed into the kitchen, you’re guided to the dining table made by hand from Bloodhound. The whole kitchen is carved by hand as well, now looking like a proper home with little nick nacks from their ravens, Elliott, and yourself on the shelving. Some dishes need to be washed, but otherwise everything is rather picked up already.

You’re already excited to dive in. Elliott happily introducing his glazed porkchops that you like so much and hand mashed potatoes. Once again, another item grown in Bloodhound’s beautiful garden outside, but the meat was from a local butcher. Herbs for seasonings collected from their indoor garden sitting on the nearby windowsill.

Bloodhound, since berries were in season and plentiful, had made a blueberry pie. The cut work was beautifully done lain on top for the crust to be little cut outs of hearts. Elliott proudly exclaims that he helped, only for Bloodhound to make a pointed gesture to the little heart cookie cutter and Elliott having to defend himself. It WAS still helping, he’d whined!

Your laughter makes them both stop to stare at you with absolute adoration in their eyes that you see when you peek open your eyes and flush to your ears at the attention.

Dinner goes nicely. Elliott is a little magician as always, getting up at some point and showing off a magic trick involving making a decoy with himself to pull another decoy out of seemingly nowhere. Fit with both you and Bloodhound clapping for him and watching him bow at the waist all dramatically.

Bloodhound tells stories from their trips for the past week and why your freezer was stocked with a foreign meat. Not to mention their delight in foraging the fresh berries going around. They talk happily of their own garden as well, thanking Elliott for helping them set it up and get dirty today by collecting potatoes for dinner.

The clean up afterwards you’re not even allowed to help. You try collecting dishes like you would on a regular day and you’re shooed away. You at least put up a fit, a little pout and say you’ll just watch. Bloodhound tries to argue, but Elliott gently bumps them with his hip playfully. “Aw, come on, babe. You ain’t gotta deny them EVERYTHING. If they want to watch the show of ‘house spouse extraordinaire’ playing LIVE in person right now, who are we to stop them?” He then laughs a bit at his own joke before flexing his arms upwards, making his shirt rise to show his midriff and the dark patch of hair going up to his navel. You can’t help but shamelessly stare. “Besides, who wouldn’t want to watch THIS play house husband of the year?”

Even Bloodhound is staring at the little bit of flesh exposed. Elliott left standing like that until he finally figures out why no one is laughing or saying anything back when he catches both of your hungry stares. He scoffs out a choked laugh, cheeks warming and holding a hand flat up to the both of you in a gesture as if you two were hungry lions that he needed to ward off. “Alright you predators, you can look later.”

And you would. In depth. Pay close attention, you decide, thinking about looking at way more later. Not that you had any idea they already had plans for you later in the bedroom.

It’s Elliott who winds up leading you to the bedroom as Bloodhound finishes up the rest of the dishes. He guides you softly to bed, the sheets and furs on it tossed this way and that. Thankfully you three had a huge bed that spanned a whole wall of the room, courtesy of Bloodhound’s ability to build who said it was a tragedy that beds did not come big enough for a pack like yours.

Softly, Elliott cups your cheek and thumbs over the soft flesh there as he sits next to you. You smile softly, leaning into his palm and already knowing what he wants. He was always much softer about his wants, almost anxious. “Are you up for fooling around tonight?” He murmurs with such softness, his thumb sliding over your bottom lip where you pucker to press a soft kiss to his thumb pad. You hum in agreement back to him, but he just laughs softly. “Need to hear you say it, baby.”

Your lips quirk up at his soft tone, peeking open your eyes half lidded to peer at him. Catching Bloodhound slipping into the room behind him to come approaching softly. “I’d like to, yes.” You offer full consent, watching when Bloodhound’s lips pull into a charming crooked smile, but their eyes scream primal.

“We want to pamper you.” Elliott continues softly, drawing your attention back to him. You can’t see Bloodhound, but you feel them slip behind your body to set hands on your waist, lips pressing warmly to the nape of your neck. Elliott keeps your attention on him, leaning in until you’re near nose to nose and your breath hitches at the closeness. Your own eyes flicking down to his lips and flicking your tongue out to wet your own. “You deserve it. You’ve been working too hard. You won’t have to lift a finger, baby.” His voice is so gentle, lower and almost a hum as he speaks.

Then his lips pull into a charming grin, eyes narrowing as he nuzzles his nose to yours. “Well. Maybe one finger, just a sec,” He moves as he speaks, pulling from you and making you whine. But, Bloodhound takes this moment to pull you back a bit into their lap, sinking their teeth gently into the crook of your neck from behind. It makes you whine faintly, reaching back to fist their coarse, dark auburn hair. They proceed, open mouthed kisses over the exposed flesh they can have at.

Elliott soon returns after a moment or two out of your sight. He has four different collars in his hands, you can hardly focus on him offering them to you when teeth nip at your ear. “T-the- the blue one.” You manage to get out, reaching out to take the light blue collar, the silver heart buckle making your heart flutter.

Thankfully Bloodhound separates from you long enough for Elliott to put it around your neck with utmost gentleness. Buckling it into place and tucking two fingers underneath to make sure you had enough room. You kiss at his retreating hand, eyes sparkling playfully up at him as he smiles back at you. “Alright, sweetheart. Safe words remembered? I don’t think we have anything too hard planned for you,” He pauses briefly to glance at Bloodhound, who must have shaken their head since Elliott nods back in reply as if reaffirming his words. “But, just in case it gets too much?”

“Red for absolutely stop, yellow for a break, green for keep going.” You reply, forming your hand signals for each. You snap twice on red, make a flat palm upwards for yellow, and thumbs up for green. Simple signals for you all to remember. Bloodhound hums behind you appraisingly, licking over where they’d bitten you before just above your collar and effectively distracting you.

Gently your shirt is tugged on from behind, pulling it up and over your head as Elliott leans in to you to press his soft lips to yours. You moan into the kiss softly as he cups your cheek, your pants’ waistband being toyed with by rough hands behind you. Bloodhound’s skilled hands tuck under the waistband to grope at your sex, palming at it and feeling how slick you already are on their fingertips through your underwear. They growl in your ear approvingly, sending a shock down to your core at the same time Elliott bites your bottom lip to draw a sound from you.

You’re soon being moved again, off Bloodhound’s lap to the middle of the bed where they urge you to undress. Elliott crawls up after you to rest by your head, having taken off his shirt to just be left in his sweatpants. Your eyes flicker up to him, catching the sharp-edged scars under his pecs and feel yourself longing to lick and suck at his nipples. You work the rest of your clothing off, shakily exhaling as you lie still and keep your thighs pressed together almost shyly.

“Always so beautiful, precious one.” Bloodhound murmurs, eyeing you up hungrily as their bare hands stroke softly over your thighs. They’re in their tunic from earlier and tactical pants, dressed down in their opinion. Their nails scrape over your outer thighs, down to tuck under your knees and gently spreading your legs. You allow it, going willingly as your legs part and they fit between your knees. They inhale deeply where they sit on their knees, eyes fluttering as their breath comes back out just as shaky. “As delicious as you are stunning, ástin mín.”

Your face flushes pink as they move to lie on their abdomen, warm hands gently holding open your thighs as they nuzzle between your legs. Your cunt flexes around nothing, even before they part you open and lick their way from hole to clit. You shudder, one hand coming up that is taken immediately by Elliott, the other coming down to fist Bloodhound’s hair as they press open mouthed, hot, sloppy kisses over your clit. Gently suckling and pulling on it as your toes curl into the sheets.

“Yeah, keep making that sound.” Elliott encourages when you let out a soft whine. His free hand not holding yours gently strokes over your cheek, pushing back your head when your head twists to bury yourself against his knee. He admires the way your lips part, idly wondering if you’d put your mouth to use too- but, no, this night was all about you.

He can’t help but let his eyes trail down your frame to Bloodhound, whose eyes are half lidded to peer up at your facial expressions. Their tongue flicks over your clit before they open their mouth obviously to drool over your clit, hot breath fanning over you. Elliott’s lips quirk in a small grin when you whine and squeeze his hand harder, undoubtedly fisting Bloodhound’s hair harder in turn. It only earns you a soft chuckle from Bloodhound who relents and drags their tongue over your u-spot to tease before sealing their lips back over your clit.

Elliott’s hand in your hair strokes back your hair from your forehead when your head twists the other way. Letting go of his hand so you can reach down and grab Bloodhound’s hair in both your hands to try and urge them. Your hips thrust upwards, desperately humping against their mouth as you begin to lose it. You can feel yourself drooling slick, eagerly licked up by the oh so talented tongue treating you.

It’s too good. With Elliott’s gentle praising above you and stroking of your hair, the way Bloodhound’s lips mouth and suck on your clit and pressing relentlessly against you, you can’t take it. You squirm and buck upwards, only to find Bloodhound pulling backwards.

Your eyes snap open, a confused whine from your lips. “I thought I was being pampered!” You cry out, your voice strained and breath panting. Bloodhound laughs at you, they can’t help it, nuzzling at your mound and breathing hot air onto you. You obviously pout, still throbbing and body alight, but they shush you softly.

“C’mon, Hound, don’t tease.” Elliott offers, coming to your rescue. You smile up at him in thanks, relishing in the annoyed huff you hear between your thighs. Bloodhound was always such a tease, but at least they get back to work. Nuzzling you open and fixing their tongue back against you. They’re slower than before, less focused on pleasuring you fully and just circling your clit with the point of their tongue. Motherfucker-

Right when you’re about to grab at their hair harder, they introduce a finger stroking over your hole. When you don’t say anything besides ‘please’ repetitively under your breath, they press it inside. Quickly followed by a second when you prove to be wet enough to take it.

With their fingers now scissoring and tongue focused back on you, it takes you maybe a total of thirty seconds before you’re cumming with a cry. Elliott is quick on you, leaning down to kiss you and swallow your soft cries. Licking into your mouth when you can’t seem to focus and taking advantage of your noises. Two of his fingers slip under your collar, gently tugging upwards and Bloodhound at the same time feels you clench and gush around their fingers more.

Absolutely beautiful.

Bloodhound is careful about moving their face from your legs. Only pausing to come back and press open mouthed, sloppy kisses over your clit or gently licking over you. Their fingers never stop, lazily petting upwards inside of you as their own hips grind against the bed to ease their cock. Elliott isn’t doing too better, parting softly from your kiss to gently suck on your jawline to leave a bruise. Moaning into your skin at your very taste and how wet he is himself.

You’re so unfocused from the dual ends of attention. Hips pressing up briefly every time Bloodhound teases you again and tilting your head to the side to allow Elliott more access.

It takes a few moments to regain yourself, but you turn your head just in time to peck at Elliott’s cheek, murmuring softly. “Want you to sit on my face. Please?” It makes him laugh softly, sitting back on his knees to look down at your pleading eyes, face all flushed.

“You know we’re supposed to be spoiling you, right?” He teases, bopping your nose with his index finger in the way that makes you crinkle your nose. You pout harder, more dramatic and he rolls his eyes, relenting as he wiggles out of his pants and boxers without much of a show. But, you and Bloodhound still stare at the flesh exposed.

Elliott has trimmed body hair, always kept tidy unlike Bloodhound’s fluffy mess you enjoy so much. When his boxers are removed, you can see his own sex glistening and wet, hair darker at the slit of his cunt. His clit is enlarged from T, peeking a good amount from his lower lips and looking red from his arousal. You lick your lips eagerly, spreading your legs open and peeking down at Bloodhound who is already working their pants down to mid-thigh.

Bloodhound’s cock is the thickest thing you’ve ever seen in your life. As thick as your wrist, you think. They’re only about five inches long, but the thickness certainly made them a tight fit. Their hair on their body is never trimmed, kept fluffy and wild much like they are. It’s flushed at the head, their hand giving an obligatory stroke so their foreskin pulls back and reveals the shiny, juicy head that makes you drool.

Elliott and you stare shamelessly, watching as their eyes come up and Bloodhound’s cheeks warm to a rosy red. “Elliott-” Their voice warns, and he whines faintly but goes back to paying you attention instead. You only smile cheekily at Bloodhound until they threaten you with a lick over their sharp teeth and a quirked brow until you relent and spread your legs eagerly for them.

You all settle carefully into place, with you eagerly urging Elliott to straddle your face. One strong thigh on either side of your head and his hands flat against the headboard to grip it, peering down at you as you settle your arms over his thighs. You guide him to let you take more of his weight on, nosing at his large clit so you can lick at his drooling hole to tease him.

You’re quickly taken from your small power trip when you feel rough hands sliding over your thighs to draw them over Bloodhound’s waist. Your breath hitches, quickening as you pant softly over Elliott’s sex. He seems into it at least, petting your hair and cooing softly for you to take your time. But you interrupt with a soft squeak of, “Bloodhound-” As a warning, feeling the head of their cock slide from your clit down to your hole and back.

“Elliott-” They reply back in a soft tone, and you can already feel the face they’re making at the back of his head. Watching Elliott’s eyes focus back into reality as he makes an ‘oh’ with his mouth as if remembering.

“Hey, shh, okay look at me. You’ve taken them plenty of times, it’s not like they’ve grown an inch in the past...week? Week and a half?” Elliott reassures, stroking your hair back as you turn your head to kiss at his thigh. Your body is tensed, but slowly begins to relax the more Bloodhound strokes over you. Collecting more lubrication despite how strained their breath sounds. “Houndie, be slow.” He reminds.

“I always am.” They reassure in reply, soft as they pinch your thigh and make you jump briefly with a huff and a look only Elliott can see. They wait, patient as ever until you whine out ‘green’ with desperation. That’s when you feel their thickness pressing into you, ever so gentle and slow as they stroke over your hips and thighs. Strength held back as they grab onto you softly to work into you, one hand cupping your mound to thumb over your clit and making you squirm.

It’s not that they’re long, it’s just that they’re so fucking thick. Bloodhound’s dick was the fattest one you’d ever seen in your life, always a tight fit even with stretching. Your mouth busies itself, guided back to Elliott’s cunt with a help from his hand and a soft coo from him to get to work. Your mouth goes to his clit this time, suckling and licking over the thick flesh as your nose buries against his mound.

When Bloodhound is fully sheathed inside of you, you can hardly hear the way they growl over Elliott’s thighs acting as terrific ear warmers. That, and the fact Elliott can’t stop talking. Little encouragements spilling from his lips; “Yeah, like the way I taste, baby?” “Fuck you’re so pretty down there.” “Come on, make some noise.” He’s always been the more talkative partner. Unless Bloodhound was in the mood for control.

Your thighs are gripped hard as Bloodhound gently begins to thrust. You can feel the wetness slicking down your ass at this point, your own nails digging into Elliott’s thighs as you whine against him with pleasure. Licking feverishly at his heat as if he was the only thing keeping you sane right now. You’re more eager to give head, unlike Bloodhound who liked to tease. You work him up, peeking your eyes open half way to peer through your lashes just to watch his pretty face contort in pleasure. He bites his bottom lip, head throwing back when you suck particularly hard on his clit just as Bloodhound begins to pick up the pace.

Your thighs flex with pleasure, your noises muffled but still enjoyed next to Elliott. Though, you really make a noise when you feel their hips sharply thrust against you, slamming into your g-spot. Their thumb pressing to your clit and rubbing at it in time with their newly picked up pace, matching their soft snarls and huffing.

You hold desperate to Elliott’s thighs, lips parting and tongue lolling out as he takes your hair tight and begins to hump his hips desperately against your face. He fucks himself onto your tongue, using you like a toy as you’re fucked harder. You can only whine and huff your pleasures, not willing to close your mouth, not when Elliott’s eyebrows are knitted and he’s murmuring such pretty things.

Elliott cums first with a sob and his body locking up. One of your hands finally reaches up when he does cum, cupping his pec and thumbing over his perked nipple just to feel his clit jerk against your mouth as you suck hard on it. He locks up, squirting on your chin before you’re able to part your lips back open and lick eagerly at his hole to swallow whatever he gives you.

He has to move off you when you begin to go a bit cross eyed from holding his weight. Flopping next to you and curling against your side to nuzzle at your neck briefly. Murmuring about a shower that you acknowledge with a hum of agreement. There’s a mild pause of Bloodhound’s hips, just a beat when Elliott rolls out of bed and heads for the bathroom.

“My love-” Bloodhound’s voice is a low growl and your attention is immediately on them instead of Elliott’s fantastic ass. You quickly reach out for them, letting their weight cover you as they lean down, wrapping their arms around you to hold you close. You follow suit, legs wrapping around their waist, just tight enough to be comfortable but loose enough to let them move.

“Close,” You murmur back in a desperate tone near their ear. Nuzzling just underneath it as you flex your inner walls around them just to hear them snarl. They’re losing control, nails sinking into you as they get closer. Their hips begin to move again, humping into you like an animal trying to breed. “Cum inside of me, ba- ah- baby, please-” You whine out for them. Perhaps a low move, considering you knew it was such a big kink for them.

Almost a competition to see who could cum first.

You prevail when they hump into you a few times, swearing under their breath as they cum inside of you. Cock pulsing and jerking inside of you as they slam their hips as close to yours as they can. Only allowing small thrusts, more like grinding their pelvis to yours. You clutch at them, one hand on the back of their neck and clutching at their hair, the other around their back as you hold on.

You cum seconds after, body shaking and eyes shutting. Your breath is shuddery, exhausted.

There’s a quiet after that. Bloodhound waits inside of you for only a moment longer before slowly pulling out, spreading open your lower lips to selfishly watch their cum drip from you.

When they lower back onto their tummy and nose back between your legs, you’re pretty sure you’re in for a long night.

You deserve it.