#bk: what if i want to leave early | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

onepiecestarry · 6 months ago

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Katsuki Bakugo Fluff Oneshot

I've had this bouncing around in my brain for a few days and just needed to get it down :) This is lowk based off of my life so I apologize since its a niche situation. But enjoy some Bk fluff and lmk if you want another part to this!

Katsuki x Reader

2.3k words

Most days you wake up, go to class, study, and train late into the night. You are a busy person, with many priorities, but this didn’t stop you from making many friends. You got particularly close to Mina and Sero, and along with that the rest of the bakusquad- besides Bakugo himself of course. You had tried many times to befriend him but to no avail. You decided to give up since you were already a part of his friend group.

You tried your best to make time for your friends but most weeks you wouldn’t join the nightly hangouts. On any days off you went home to help your mom, only Mina truly knew why you were never in the dorms.

“Alright class, today we are-” Aizawa started his long speech about your new upcoming project. You start to zone out, but quickly focus again to get the project details, jotting down any important notes you might need.

“I am going to randomly assign partners for this, please do not ask to change because there will be no exceptions this time.” Mr. Aizawa says in his regular monotone voice.

He starts to list off the groups and eventually says your name. “Y/n and Bakugo”

“Not that fucking nerd!!” Bakugo yells slamming his fist onto his desk.

“Shut it Bakugo,” Mr. Aizawa says activating his quirk on the rowdy student.

The rest of the day went by normally, you finished classes and began packing your stuff to study and train.

Around 1 am you get a text.

Bakugo

“Where are you dipshit”

Y/n

“Training, why?”

Bakugo

“Tf you training so late for, gts”

Y/n

“Dude leave me alone, what do you want”

Bakugo

“Friday at 11 am common room”

Y/n

“The project?”

He likes the message and the conversation ends. You look at the time and realize you should be going to bed soon, you do a few more reps before heading back to the dorm.

It's a cool night, as you walk a chill runs up your spine from the cold. You shake it off and continue to your dorms. As quietly as you can, you open the door and make your way to your room. You fall asleep to the crickets and cicadas chirping outside your window.

The week goes by quickly as the weekend approaches. You completely forgot about having Friday off, but Mina reminded you on Thursday to text your mom to remind her.

What everyone in the class doesn’t know is that your mom moved with you when you came abroad to study at UA. She and your little sister rent a small house not too far from campus. Your step-father refused to move with them, so on any days you have off you go home to watch your 2-year-old sister while your mom works. The only person who knows about this arrangement is your best friend Mina. She covers for you whenever you are there.

You wake up to the loud beeping of your alarm, as you look at it to shut it off it displays “4:30 am”. You groan and move to get up. Your mom starts work at 6 on the days you have off so you have to get to the house early so your sister isn’t home alone.

You grab your prepacked bag and school backpack and start your walk home. The sunrise is barely a sliver when you get there.

As you take care of your sister throughout the day, coloring, watching movies, and playing dress-up, it doesn’t matter what you do as long as she’s happy. Once you put her down for her nap, you throw yourself onto the couch half asleep. Then your phone starts going off over and over. You grumble something about a group chat and open your phone to see it’s Bakugo.

Bakugo

“Where are you dipshit”

“If you aren’t here in the next 3 minutes I’m blowing your ass up in your dorm”

“Why aren’t you in your dorm”

“ANSWER ME”

Bakugo has requested your location.

“Oh boy” You mumble to yourself

Y/n

“Chill dude, I’m sorry I forgot we were supposed to work on the project today, can we do it Monday?”

Bakugo

“NO, dumbass it's fucking due Monday”

“Where are you, answer the fucking phone now”

Y/n

“I can’t answer the phone rn”

Bakugo

“Well then SEND ME UR FUCKING LOCATION”

Y/n

“Will u chill tf out if I do?”

Bakugo likes the message.

Y/n started sharing their location with Bakugo

You huff and turn your phone off falling asleep on the couch. Not long after you wake up to three aggressive knocks on your front door. Knowing Bakugo you jump up to stop him from knocking more and waking your sister.

“Chill tf out, I’m right here,” You say as you open the door. Bakugo pushes past you walking into your house and turning to look at you.

“You are so fucking useless, we were supposed to have this project done today! I fucking should’ve done it myself” He says with his fingers on the bridge of his nose.

“Look, I’m sorry but Aizawa would know if you pulled that shit AGAIN”

“YOU FUCKING RATTED-”

You slam your palm on his mouth as he begins to yell. Shock is written across his face when he suddenly pushes you off him.

“What the fuck” He spits at you.

“You have to be fucking quiet dipshit” You whisper.

“Why wou-” He gets interrupted by your sister crying and running to you.

You pick her up gently and start to soothe her from her startling wake call as you glare daggers at Bakugo. He stands there in complete shock, this time not hiding it at all. You nod your head in the direction of your dining table and say, “Go set up there, we can work on it now.”

He doesn’t say a word while he gets his stuff out and sets up. You put your sister down to start making some lunch for her.

“Did you eat?” You ask not looking at him.

“What?” He asks snapping back to reality.

“Did you eat lunch?”

“Oh um no”

“Ok,” You say, silently making another serving more.

As you continue to cook and Bakugo silently sits there trying to think of what to say, he blurts out.

“So, who’s the father?”

You turn around from the stove and stare at him blankly for a second processing what he asked, then you see how serious his face is. You burst out laughing- “BAHAHAHA, WAIT,” you say wiping a tear forming in your eye from laughter. Bakugo glares at you to stop laughing. After you take a second to compose yourself you answer, “Bakugo, meet my sister, y/s/n.” You say as y/s/n goes up to Bakugo and hugs him. He has a horrified look on his face realizing what he just asked you.

He tries to jump away and get her off unsuccessfully. He accepts his fate and allows her to hug his leg.

The next few hours went by awkwardly, you served lunch and while your sister was busy eating you spent your time working on the project, allowing Bakugo to have a break and eat too. But as soon as your sister was done you were up and taking care of her again.

Hours go by and you realize you have to figure out dinner.

“Fuck” You whisper so your sister can’t hear. “What do you want for dinner Bakugo?” You ask from your sister’s makeshift playroom in the living room.

“I don’t know, don’t care.”

You look at him exasperated as you sigh and ask your sister.

“PIZZA!!!” Your sister says excitedly. You pick her up and gently whisper how you can’t afford to order pizza right now, and how you can make her something at home. She begins to sulk and goes back to her toys. You get up walk to the table and look at Bakugo to ask again.

“Wha-” You begin.

“I already ordered it.” He says not looking up from his notes.

“What?” You ask baffled.

“The pizza, I already ordered it.”

“Oh, you didn’t have to do that, seriously.”

“It's fine. She said she wanted pizza.”

“Okay, how much was it so I can pay you back.” You ask getting your wallet out.

“No.” He says not sparing you a look.

“What?” You ask again.

“I said no. Don’t worry about it.”

“Oh, okay, well thank you.”

Once the pizza arrives you all sit down to eat, but once again you don’t eat so you can work on the project. As you sit at your laptop across from Bakugo eating his pizza, your laptop suddenly shuts.

“Wha- What the fuck man?!” You half-yell at Bakugo.

“You haven’t eaten all day, so eat the pizza and then I’ll watch your sister so you can work.”

“But-”

“No. I said what I said.” He stares at you, silently telling you that you won’t win any argument with him.

He kept true to his word, he took care of your sister while you worked efficiently on your project. Around 11:30 you come back to reality and close your laptop, realizing that you should have put your sister to bed long ago. You walk into the living room to see Bakugo and y/s/n on the couch watching her favorite movie, Totoro. Y/s/n being asleep on Bakugo you decide to sit on the other side of him and continue the movie.

“Everything is done, we just need to make the slides and practice.” You whisper.

“Alright cool, that should be easy.” He says continuing to watch the movie.

You look over and admire how calm he is. His arm wrapped around your sister, her head in his lap fast asleep. You had to admit, he was great with kids. While you were working he was playing dress up with her, you managed to snap a few photos of him with a tiara on before he noticed. He was so sweet and gentle with her all day, the opposite of his regular personality. He didn't call her a brat even once, not even one time?!?

He notices you staring and looks over, “What?” He says annoyed.

“Nothing,” You say silent for a few seconds, “Just- thank you for today.”

He lets out a scoff, showing you he was listening.

“Is this where you disappear every night?” He asks.

“What? Oh. no, I actually do train every night since I’m here on the weekends. I usually get up at 4:30 and either stay here or go back at 2 am.” You answer.

“You do this only on two and a half hours of sleep?” He asks with confusion and shock hinting in his voice.

“Yeah, I don’t have much of a choice. No one else can watch her.”

The conversation fades as you both focus back on the movie. Eventually leading to you falling asleep on him as well.

Bakugo sits there on your couch, with your sister asleep in his lap and you asleep on his shoulder. He quietly watches the movie until your mom returns from work. She opens the door and hears the T.V. on, so she goes to the living room to check and she sees all of you there. Bakugo’s head swings at the noise and sees her.

“Oh my, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to startle you. I didn’t know y/n had her boyfriend over!” She says quietly moving to sit on the adjacent couch.

“Oh- um, I’m not-” He starts.

“Here let me move her to bed, they both sleep like rocks don’t worry.” She says with a wink, picking up your sister and taking her to her bed. She returns to see Bakugo hasn’t moved with you still asleep on him.

“How long have you been here? I’m so sorry for any trouble they’ve caused.” Your mom laughs.

“I got here around noon. Me and y/n were supposed to work on a school project but she forgot so I came over to work on it.” He starts

“Oh! I’m so sorry about that dear.”

“It's okay.”

“So how long have you two been together?” She asks excitedly.

“We aren’t dating,” Bakugo says quietly still trying to not wake you up.

“Really? Huh, I swear I’ve heard y/n talk about you before.” A light shade of pink finds its way to Bakugo’s cheeks.

“Well, thank you for helping take care of my girls, I really appreciate it. You should stay here tonight, it's too late for you to go back to school. Y/n’s room is there and there are blankets in the closet.” Your mom says getting up to go to bed. “And thank you again Katsuki Bakugo.” She finally says before disappearing into her room.

Bakugo tightens up at the sound of his full name, knowing well that means y/n has talked about him enough for her mom to know who he is.

He decides to stay on the couch, not wanting to disturb your peace. He pulls a blanket on the both of you and shuts his eyes. He thinks about all the times he couldn’t spot you at parties or hangouts. Or how you would vanish off the face of the earth on weekends. It all made sense now, you were working yourself to the bone to take care of your family.

Bakugo always had a soft spot for you, which is why everyone would always make you ask him to hang out with them, even if you weren’t going to be there. He never knew why he was murder-y with you but it scared him so he pushed you away even more. Hence you trying to be friends with him but ‘failing’.

But now he’s here, lying on your couch with you on top of him asleep, coming to the realization that maybe his soft spot for you isn’t all that bad.

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lincolndjarin · 2 years ago

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Best Kept Secret

chapter two : silent treatment (RE-UPLOAD)

ao3 link ✿ series masterlist ✩ main masterlist ✧

pairing : bodyguard!Din Djarin x afab!princess!reader

rating : 18+ mdni

word count : 7.4k

summary : you decide to give your bodyguard the silent treatment after a disagreement

warnings, etc. : language, sexual fantasy

A/N : i had to change accounts so this is a re-upload of my ongoing fic bks!!

Something is wrong. You bolt up from the pile of blankets that you call a bed and your eyes dart around the closet as you furrow your brow trying to discern why you feel so much different. As you stand and exit the closet, tugging on a rope that you know alerts Elaine and Lysa you realize what it is.

You’re excited.

Everyday has been a slog since your arrival, just another day of aimlessly walking around and sitting mindlessly in the library but today you actually had an agenda. Even if you were to be accompanied by the abhorrent Mandalorian. You had only ever read about gardens, you obviously couldn't have one back on Hoth but you had always wanted to see one, if not have your own. But this was your home now, which made that your garden. You had a garden and today you were going to get to see it. And so, for the first time you summon Elaine and Lysa, instead of allowing them to arrive naturally as they always did. You stand at the mirror, eager to get dressed as the girls rush in, you can tell by the way that they stare at you that they don’t fully understand what's happening as they try to keep the surprise off their faces. Elaine speaks first as Lysa rushes off to the closet to find something for you to wear today.

“Good morning ma’am… you’re up rather early?” The way her voice pitches up makes it come off as a question but you just nod as you begin to undress, watching in the mirror as Lysa brings out a blue gown and you quickly turn around.

“No.” Both girls stare at you with wide eyes and then look at each other as you speak. “I want to wear something else, I’m sick of blue.” Lysa nervously rushes back into the closet but you can see a smile forming on Elaine's face.

“Seems like someone has finally found their voice.” As Elaine speaks she dresses you in your undergarments.

“One can only wear blue so many days in a row.” You brush a strand of hair behind your ear as you can see Elaine walking out holding a pale yellow dress in the reflection of the mirror, holding it up for approval. “That will do nicely.” That seems to relax her a bit as they begin to slip it on to you, lacing the back of it up tightly before sitting you down to do your hair and makeup but you gently wave their hands away.

“Ma’am? Is everything okay?” Elaine says as she holds her hands up, waiting to see what will happen next but Lysa takes a step back as she drops her hands as if she’s been burned and you quickly turn to reassure her.

“Everything is perfect, I didn’t mean to startle you, I just… I want to do it myself today. You two can have the rest of the morning off… thank you.” You turn back to stare at yourself in the mirror, the reflection actually looks familiar with your hair down like this, the lurid makeup they usually do you up in absent.

“Ma’am this is rather unorthodox…” Elaine says but she can’t seem to shake the smile from her face. “But if you insist.”

“I do. Insist.” Your lips are also curling into a grin that you’re desperately fighting off as you look at Elaine in the reflection of the mirror, meeting her gaze. “Take the rest of the morning off, I’ll see you in the evening.” Both girls nod as they take their leave, Lysa finds green slippers and puts them on you before darting out of the room. You start to run a brush through your hair and you shout one last thing over to them before the door closes. “Oh! And please inform Leo that I’ll be skipping breakfast, I have other matters to attend to.” Elaine turns to cock an eyebrow at you but nods as she closes the door.

You don’t bother holding back the grin now as you comb your hair, wanting to leave it down but you’re not sure if that’s proper for royalty so you decide against it, pinning it up loosely and donning a thin band of a tiara to hold it all in place. Now comes an issue you had not accounted for. Do you put on makeup? The girls always put makeup on you, especially on nights where you have dinner with the prince but now that it’s a choice you wonder if it would be weird. It’s not like you’d be dolling yourself up for the Mandalorian, but he really is the only person you see all day, other than Leo, who you only saw when you needed something.

Well this was starting to ruin your good mood. Would it be weird if you didn’t wear makeup? It might be since up until today every time he’s seen you you’ve been wearing a mountain of it. Maker, what if he doesn’t even recognize you. No, that's stupid of course he’ll recognize you, he spends everyday with you. You can put on makeup, it isn’t weird. You’d just be putting it on for yourself, not him, it isn’t weird to want to look nice for yourself. But he’s a prick. An observant prick. What if he says something about it? That’s stupid why would he say something, you always wear makeup, it would be odd if you didn’t wear it. What if he’s already out there? What if he saw Elaine and Lysa leave? Would he assume you did your makeup yourself? Shit, why hadn’t you asked if he was waiting? Since when do you care what he thinks? When did this fucker get in your head like this? They’ve done your makeup rather garishly every day you’ve spent with the Mandalorian, so you decide to do it, just something simple, not the typical caked on look they give you, just something around your eyes to make them pop. You settle on green, subtle green eyeliner.

You look ridiculous. He’s going to laugh at you.

You don’t care what he thinks, yet you find yourself reaching into the vanity to find a cloth to wipe the makeup from your face, maybe you should just tell him you don’t feel well and you want to stay in your room today. Gods when did he get in your head like this, one stupid little conversation and suddenly you couldn’t escape him, that stupid, arrogant, cocky, pompous, conceited, ill-mannered, son of a-

“Why are you taking so long?” You drop the cloth before you can clean your face as you catch a glint of silver in the mirror.

“What is wrong with you!?” You clutch your chest as you turn around to scowl at the Mandalorian. “If you don’t stop scaring me I’m going to put bells on you.” He leans back against your bedpost and crosses his arms.

“Your ladies-in-waiting. They left half an hour ago and you didn’t come out, I thought you might be in danger.” He shrugs as if that justifies him sneaking into your room. Had you really been sitting here that long?

“Why didn’t you knock? For Makers sake, I could have been changing.” You squint at him angrily as you stand, facing him as you match his stance. Something tells you that the way you do it is less intimidating.

“If I knocked I would have alerted any potential intruders.”

“You’ve been outside the door this entire time and we’re on the fourth floor.” He shrugs again.

“I couldn’t take that chance. Now are you ready or not?” He stands up straighter and gestures towards the door.

“Yes. These gardens better be worth it, I have high expectations.” You frowned as you made a beeline for the door, you could feel him following close on your heels. Once in the hall he once again stood beside you, not behind you, you bit back a smile. He takes a slight lead and you follow him through the maze of halls.

You want to talk. Now that you’ve had a taste of any sort of companionship you’re ravenous for it. Even if it is with someone as impolite as him, so you keep it light.

“So… where are the gardens located?”

“If I tell you, are you going to try and run off without me?”

“If I tried you would be right behind me anyways so what would be the point?” You grin in earnest as you hear him exhale sharply through his nose.

“You know about the forest that surrounds the castle?”

“Yes I know that the castle that I live in is surrounded by trees.” You know he doesn’t see it but you roll your eyes anyway.

“Forgive me, princess.” Your heart skips a beat, he actually sounds sort of sweet… “You got lost trying to find the fresher three days ago, so forgive me if I assume you know nothing about the grounds.” And there it is.

“Do you spend all your free time coming up with snarky remarks? Is that what you do when you aren’t actively stalking me?” That gets a scoff from him.

“It isn’t stalking if it’s my job.I swore to keep you from harm and my word is very dear to me.”

“You’re avoiding the question.”

“Have you considered that I’m just smarter than you? That I just have a quicker wit?” Gods, you want to rip out the stupid modulator that he speaks through. It has to be altering his voice, no one's voice is always that low and steady. You feel as if the baritone of it soaks through your skin into your bones.

“Impossible. The only explanation is that you must be dedicating several hours a day to forming new creative insults for me.” You let your fingertips trace the stone bricks as the two of you descend a staircase. He shakes his head no.

“I don’t have the kind of free time for that. You’re a full time job, sarad'ika.”

Dead stop.

“What the hell did you just call me?”

He doesn’t respond, actually it looks like he’s freezing up. He better not be laughing under that tin can with his modulator silenced again.

“You can’t just start slandering me in other languages, Mando.” You can’t keep the smile off your face as you reach forward to gently brush your hand against the Beskar pauldron closest to you. You mean it as nothing more than a comforting gesture but he instantaneously recoils from it, you’re surprised he even felt it through the steel and fabric but he takes a sudden step back and doesn’t mute his modulator fast enough for you to miss the beginning of a sharp inhale. There’s a beat of silence where you can feel your heart racing, why did it always get so hot in this stupid castle at the most inconvenient times.

“My apologies, princess.” He straightens up and starts descending the stairs again, much more rigid than before.

“Oh come on you can’t just do that.” You have to hike up your skirt to keep up with him now.

“Do what?” His stride doesn’t waver. You have to take two steps at a time to match his pace.

“Say something and not tell me what it means!”

“Drop it, princess.” Gods, you hate the way he says it. He makes it so easy to forget that it’s a label, not an endearment. You can’t stop the words that fall from your lips on instinct.

“Don’t call me that.”

He turns sharply, doing a swift 180, and you slam into his chest plate but manage to keep your footing. You’re higher on the stairs then him, making you face to face now. Well, face to helmet.

“You are a princess, princess. I will refer to you as your title, nothing else. There is nothing else that I should be calling you.”

He called you sarad'ika.

You scowl at him and you’re sure he’s scowling back at you. You’re not sure how long you stand like that, two statues on the staircase until finally you make the first move, brushing past him as you continue down the stairs until you reach a door, you wish you had paid more attention to where he was taking you because you’re caught off guard by the immediate exit from the stone walls of the keep. You hadn’t stepped foot outside the castle walls since you had first entered them.

It took you a second to adjust to the light as you held your hand up to shield your eyes. Once you've finally settled you take another step before you have to cover your eyes again. “Maker!” You take a step back as you squeeze your eyes shut tightly. You can feel him grab your shoulder gently.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Genuine concern. You’re taken aback by it, he’s never sounded anything but sarcastic and stoic up until just now. You open your eyes to stare into the thin black line in the Beskar. His hand jostles you slightly and you suddenly remember to breathe. “Talk to me. What’s wrong?” You can physically feel the worry coming off of him, both of his hands gripping your shoulders now.

“I just- I’m okay… it’s just- the- the reflection…” You say it softly and feel his hand drop and he lets out a sigh. “The sun on your armor just caught me off guard…” He turns around and starts walking again and you can’t stop the laugh that bursts out of you, making him stop dead in his tracks.

“It’s not funny.” His tone has returned to its cold stoic nature but you can’t stop laughing.

“Oh come on…” You make your way over to him, still trembling with laughter. “You’re so sparkly, it caught me off guard.”

“I was seriously worried about you. You do understand that my entire job is to keep you safe right?” He takes long strides and once again you can barely keep up as you follow him to a trail at the edge of the forest that surrounds the keep. You take deep breaths, trying desperately to stop the laughter as you grab his arm. He tenses the moment you make contact with him but at least he doesn’t draw back this time. He won’t look at you, his helmet turned slightly to the right.

“Hey, I’m sorry.” You mean it but you can’t fight the smile on your face as you hold the fabric between his pauldron and his bracer. “It’s kind of nice, you know, to know you are capable of human emotions.” You don’t realize that your thumb is rubbing small comforting circles into his sleeve, your gaze softening. “I was starting to think you were just a very sarcastic droid.” That makes him look at you.

“I am not a droid.”

Yikes. Tough crowd.

He says it with such sternness that you don’t follow it up with a joke, you drop your hand from his arm and just stare into the visor.

You bring your hand up to comfort him again.

“Hey I’m sor-”

“Don’t” There’s that word again, only this time he’s so harsh with it. You take a step back.

“Well I hardly think this is fair.”

“Excuse me?” He tilts the helmet slightly at you, the annoyance in his voice is still palpable.

“We have had two conversations since the day I met you and you spent most of those conversations making fun of me and suddenly you get all stiff and upset just because I made one joke at your expense, a joke that might I add wasn’t even all that mean, and you get all short with me? That’s not fair.” He doesn’t speak, you can feel the sharpness of his gaze even through the visor.

But he doesn’t have a retort, he just scoffs.

Kriff.

You had to say something, because now you’re both just standing here on this trail in utter silence. Come on, think, you can’t let one awkward moment ruin this. You can’t have things be weird between you and the only person who will talk to you in this entire fucking castle. Gods, you can’t stand him but he’s company. So, you say the first thing that comes to mind, like an idiot.

“What’s your favorite color?”

“What?” His voice is still tinged with the remains of his anger.

Well now he’s just being unkind for no reason, you apologized, or at least tried to before he so rudely interrupted you. Or maybe you should have chosen a less stupid question but it was too late to be thinking thoughts like that.

“You know what, nevermind. Go back to the castle, I’ll find the garden myself.” You shove past him, marching down the trail through the trees. Where was this coming from? Why has he suddenly out of nowhere gotten so cold? Whatever, he can go sulk somewhere else. You just wanted to see the gardens and you’re not going to let him ruin your entire day before it’s even started. You can hear him groan as he starts to follow. Of course he isn’t going to listen to you, you turn on your heel to face him. “Stop it.”

“You know I can’t.” Of course he doesn’t sound apologetic, but at least he doesn't sound angry anymore.

“I am ordering you to stop.”

“You don’t have the auth-”

“I don’t care. I don’t care if I do not have the authority to tell you to stop, you will stop, go back to the castle. Now, Mando.” You know he won’t but you’re getting desperate, you don’t care because at this point if you have to feel alone, you want to actually be alone.

“No.”

There it is. You knew that you weren’t friends, afterall how could you be, you don’t know each other in the slightest. But a small part of you thought that maybe he respected you, at least respected you enough to not treat you like everyone else does. Like they’re afraid of you, or like you are nothing more than an extension of your husband. Yet here he is acting on your husband's authority, with no one around, just the two of you. In your loneliness you had briefly let yourself get sucked into a reality where the Mandalorian was someone who you could talk to, even if it was only to argue, arguing was so much better then the nothingness that was consuming your bland life, the little feud that the two of you had built up through what short conversations you had managed was all you had. But of course he had to go and ruin it, you hadn’t wanted a friend, you had just wanted someone to talk to.

You hate him. For getting your hopes up. You hate your husband. For marrying you in the first place. You just want to go home, real home, Hoth, not this unfamiliar stupidly hot planet. It’s all starting to crash down on you. You haven’t cried since the day you found out you were arranged to be married but out of nowhere it was starting to hit you like a ton of bricks. Your eyes shot daggers at the Mandalorian. You wanted to scream at him, you wanted to stomp your foot and throw a tantrum because in an instant he had ruined what had the potential to be your first good day in weeks, and he had done it within the first 30 minutes of being in your presence. But why give him the satisfaction? Especially if he was only doing all this to be cruel. You had done nothing wrong after all, he was the one who had gotten all uppity out of nowhere and for seemingly no reason.

“Fine.” At least your voice doesn’t crack.

“Fine?” He sounds truly surprised by the lack of explosion after your minutes of brooding. Maybe he was doing this all because he was bored, afterall he was probably just as alone as you were. But you had thought that maybe you were starting to be alone, together.

“Fine. You are right. I do not have the authority to dismiss you, I would like to return to my chambers.” He takes a step forward. You can’t look at him anymore.

“Oh come on, you can’t be ser-”

“Don’t.” You hope it hurts.

Having the word thrown back in his face with as much venom as you can muster, as you once again shove past him and follow the trail until you are out of the forest and making your way back to the castle. He doesn’t try to stop you, he doesn’t even speak. He just returns to the way he’s always been, deadly quiet, and always just out of sight. Just out of reach. Neither of you speaks as you make your way up the several flights of stairs, in your rage you didn’t realize you were lost until it was too late.

Stupid enormous castle. Stupid maze of halls. Stupid husband who made this stupid place your home. Stupid Mandalorian.

You know he knows that you’re lost but he doesn’t speak. Finally you just sit against a wall, the Mandalorian a few steps back, watching you.

“Leodall!” You say it loudly in the noiseless hall, your voice bouncing off the walls.

“Is that really necessary? If you’re lost I can take you back to your room.” His voice is dripping with annoyance at this point and all you do is glare at him until you see a familiar orange figure approaching.

“Yes princess, is everything well?” His brows furrowed as he sees you sitting on the floor, he goes to help you up but you wave him off, standing on your own.

“It appears I need your help finding my chambers Leo.” You don’t acknowledge the Mandalorian, keeping your eyes trained on Leo. He on the other hand does toss a look at Mando, the confusion on his face is evident but he senses the tension and decides not to ask, leading you to your room.

Maker, you hadn’t even been on the right floor.

“Is there anything else I can do for you ma’am?” Leo asks as he steps into your room after you.

“No Leo, that will be all, thank you.” He nods as he shuts the door, you see the glint of silver as he does.

You collapse onto the bed, the real bed, not the one that you found so much more comfort in, kicking your shoes off you curl up into yourself and just lay there. The urge to cry has passed, now you just want solitude.

You try not to wonder if he’s still out there.

You don’t know how much time passes but eventually Elaine brings you dinner, Lysa is not with her. You don’t know if you’ve ever seen them separated.

“They said you didn’t go to lunch ma’am, I thought you might be feeling ill.”

“No. Just tired I guess.”

She doesn’t press further as she sets down the tray. This is why she’s your favorite. As she goes to leave, you sit up.

“Is he still out there?” You whisper it, you already know the answer. And you also know he’s probably listening.

“Yes, ma’am.”

That’s all you needed to know, you nod and she dismisses herself.

✩

You hate him.

You have nothing better to do now that you refuse to talk to him. So you hate him, that’s your new hobby. You’re on day three of your strike. You let Elaine and Lysa doll you up in blue gowns again and do you up with over the top makeup and you go back to the library. But you don’t pretend to read books anymore. Instead you sit in a reading nook you stumbled upon, it might be your new favorite spot in the entire castle. Even if you spend all of your time there brooding. You sit with your back to the window and you glare at the Mandalorian, all day.

He just stands there.

Sometimes the visor faces you, sometimes it doesn’t, sometimes if you stay long enough he’ll even pull up a chair. You just watch him. And think.

The first day was spent plotting, mostly. You don’t have a good enough grasp on his abilities to attack him head on. You know that his helmet can do a lot but you honestly have no idea anything past the fact that he can silence himself, it gives him advanced hearing capabilities, and you have to assume night vision because of that night where he found you in the library. And of course there was the lingering issue of him being an ex-bounty hunter.

So no. No attacking head on.

All this scheming made you realize how embarrassingly little you actually know about him.

You seriously doubt you could sneak up on him. His neck wasn’t armored but it was covered in layers of fabric. It would be embarrassing if you tried to stab him and got tangled up in his cape. And obviously you didn’t want to kill him. You just… well you don’t really know what the goal is now. Honestly you feel a bit silly over this whole thing. You might have overreacted but he had been impolite to say the least, and you had nothing better to do so why not just be mad.

Maybe you could ask Kodo to dismiss him. You never asked him for anything during your weekly dinners but you were his bride after all, maybe he would do that for you. Unless the Mandalorian was working directly with Kodo… you’d never considered that he might be reporting back to the prince with information about you.

You rule that possibility out. Kodo doesn’t care enough about you to do that. (You also rule out asking for Mando to be dismissed because as much as you despise him, you can’t bring yourself to do that. You desperately wish you could.)

New plan. Get away from him long enough to explore the gardens without him.

How hard could it be to find out where his quarters are located? Maybe you could ask Leo, would he even know? He has to live somewhere in the castle. There’s no way he could live anywhere else, he’s there day and night watching you…

Does he even have quarters? He wore the same thing every day, at least it looked like he did, he certainly didn’t have a bad smell to him that would indicate he doesn’t change, although you had no idea what he smelled like, you suppose you had never thought about it. Why do you want to know what he smells like all of a sudden? Nevermind. He had to sleep, right? He wasn’t waiting outside your room the night you had snuck out to the library. If you could find out where his room was maybe you could lock him in… or you would just make him angry, he was so tall, and broad, and you couldn’t tell with all the layers but he seemed muscular, strong enough to break down a door certainly.

You stare at where he’s sitting, he had pulled up a chair an hour ago and placed it across from your nook, both his legs firmly planted on the floor as you two engage in what might be your tenth staring contest of the day. You bet he could rip a door right off its hinges, he’d probably be outraged if you barricaded his door, he’d hunt you down for doing that. Of course he would know it was you, who else would try and lock him in his own chambers? You wonder what he would do if he caught you. Obviously he would catch you, if he had been a bounty hunter he would catch you with ease, he’d probably just go straight to the garden, knowing that’s where you would hide from him. He would probably be so furious with you that he’d probably throw caution to the wind, disregard the fact that you were royalty, disregard the fact that you were married to the prince, and just take you right there.

Back to the castle.

Back to your chambers. Take you back to your chambers.

Gods it’s hot in this library… you took a book off the shelf just to fan yourself.

Is he sweating under all that metal?

Stop it.

You decided to plan more tomorrow. The heat was clearly having some sort of effect on your ability to think clearly.

But day two of your silent treatment came and you didn’t feel all that palpable rage anymore, you were just confused now. So you dedicated day two to figuring out what had happened. Why had things fallen apart so quickly?

It had all started when you made that droid comment.

Or had it?

Now that you were thinking about it he had actually started to pull back when you’d been on the stair. He had called you that name. Kriff. What had it been? You should have written it down. It must have been pretty bad for it to make him so upset. But why would he be upset about something he said? He had said it so naturally, it clearly had just slipped out. You weren’t even sure what language it had been in. You could look, you were in a library after all, but it would be obvious to him what you were doing and you didn’t want to upset him further.

What else had happened…?

Shit.

You had touched him, it hadn’t been anything more than a brief brush against his armor. Maybe that was considered offensive in his culture though, maybe you had crossed a line. Your stomach dropped but only for a moment as you remembered your first interaction, you had touched his armor quite a bit that night so that couldn’t be it.

You hated riddles, and you were giving yourself a headache.

So you spent most of the second day rubbing your temples with your eyes closed.

And now you’re here. Day three of your strike and you’ve already run out of things to be angry about so now you finally let your mind wander to the one thing you’ve been avoiding since you met him.

What’s under the armor?

Or more importantly, who is under the armor? In your previous brief conversations you hadn’t brought the helmet up, they’d been so short there was no way for it to come up naturally. (And honestly you assumed he was sick of being asked about it. Everybody probably asked about it.) For what little you knew about Mandalorians, you knew they didn’t take their helmets off. But he had to at some point right? He was human. Gods, now that you thought of it you never saw him eat or drink.

You exhaled sharply through your nose as you imagined him drinking through a little straw inside the helmet. He turned in just the slightest towards you but kept his visor trained on a shelf of books that must have been pretty interesting to have been holding his attention for the last several hours.

He was probably scowling, like, all the time. He probably had a permanent crease between his eyebrows. It would probably piss him off if you smoothed it out with your thumb. Of course that would be why you would do it. To piss him off.

He had to be handsome. You despised the fact that he had to be handsome. He acted with an air of confidence that only extremely good looking people had. Of course he would be handsome, the gods could not be kind enough to make him ugly. You bet his features are sharp, just like his tongue. Stop.

Don’t think about his tongue.

You need to talk to Leo about implementing some sort of cooling system in this dreadfully balmy library.

Think about something else. His lips. That was innocent enough. You would wager that they were chapped, spending all that time inside steel, probably made his lips dry. He was probably always licking his lips. His bottom lip was probably always jutted out in a pout, he’s so stupidly moody. His tongue was probably always poking out slightly, wetting his stupidly plush bottom lip.

Stop.

Maker, it’s so warm in here, it’s a good thing you’re wearing such a dark shade of blue because you’re certainly sweating through your gown. Calm down.

Teeth. Think about teeth. There’s nothing about teeth that should make your heart race, they’re just teeth. They’re probably straight and perfect. He acted so superior, the bastard would have perfect teeth. They’re probably just sharp enough to hurt if he were to bite you, why would he be biting you?

Stop.

When you get him all riled up and simmering he probably stands there all stupid with his mouth open just slightly. You can probably see his bottom teeth when he sits there with a dumb look on his face. You could probably get a better look at them if you pulled his bottom lip down with your thumb.

Stop.

Think about his eyes. Get away from his mouth entirely. His stare has to be as intense as his presence. He could probably lay waste to a bounty with one look if he would just take the helmet off. Nope. Actually, don’t think about how his eyes would feel on your face. Be thankful for the helmet. Just stop thinking about him. How dare he. He was probably doing this on purpose, getting in your head like this. Gods, you detest him.

He’s probably brunette. He probably keeps it short because he can’t maintain it with the helmet and all. Why does that kind of bum you out?

Stop.

You don’t care what his hair looks like. He probably had an unkept beard, he doesn’t have time to shave. It probably scratches you as it brushes against your skin.

Nope.

Stop.

You stand up, you need to get out of this horrifically stuffy library. You don’t acknowledge him as you make your way towards the dining hall, you have dinner with Kodo tonight, best not be late to see your doting hubby. Especially if the reason you’re late is because you were off somewhere thinking about another man. You don’t hear him but you know Mando is behind you as you enter the dining room, you take pride in your ability to find it without having to call Leo. (It’s just down the hall from the library but to you it’s still an accomplishment.) Much to your chagrin Kodo is already seated.

“Wife! Come, join me!” Oh he is already hammered, lucky you.

You take your respective seat across from him and the Mandalorian takes his place a few steps behind your chair, his hands clasped in front of him.

“Good evening husband, how has your day been?” You quickly begin to down your wine as he starts to speak, his hair is a mess, you spend nearly an hour getting ready every morning and he can’t even run a comb through his hair. Lovely.

“Wonderful darling.” Why does he always have to look so satisfied with himself?

Dinner is long. And boring. At one point he starts talking about how unattractive he thinks one of his brother's wives is, laughing the entire time at some joke you don’t get regarding her appearance. You lazily take a bite of the unfamiliar vegetable on your plate as you try to tune him out. After your first day here you stopped questioning the food, it was always good so who cares what it is. He slams back another drink, a servant rushes over and fills his glance once more. He’s had so much to drink at this point you wonder how he’s still sitting upright. It’s quiet for a moment and you realize that he’s waiting for a response to something. Maker, you should have been paying attention. His gaze darkens as he lets out a tsk.

“I had quite a pleasant time today out in the city.”

“Oh really? What did you do today my prince?”

“They had opened a new pleasure house in the city, and a few of my brothers and I visited for the grand opening.” He starts laughing, slamming his glass onto the table as he shakes with laughter. Your entire body went rigid. You knew he was probably visiting brothels, of course he was, but the way he threw it into your face with no regard for your feelings rattled you enough to make you just want to leave. You took another sip of wine.

“Did you, my prince? And how was that?” You can feel the tension in the room, every servant is standing a bit straighter, their eyes all forward.

“Just wonderful.” He clicks his tongue as he picks at his food with his hands. You don’t bother hiding the disgust on your face. He leers at you. “What? Are you displeased, wife? ” You suck in a breath through your teeth.

“No, of course not, my prince.” You set your fork down, you’ve lost your appetite.

“No, no, no, if you are unhappy, wife, I would love for you to speak up.” He’s snickering at this point, teetering drunkenly. You want to leave, you don’t like this. He had always been annoying at the worst of times, and dismissive, but now he was just belittling you.

At least you finally had a valid reason to hate him.

“I am fine.” You say it as steadily as you can manage. “Just tired.”

“Really? What have you done today that has left you so tired?”

Gods, you just want to leave.

“I did quite a lot of reading today, my pri-” He bursts into laughter before you can even finish. Your face is starting to heat.

“Is that so? This is why I do not spend more time with you, my nervous mouse.” Gross, you hate that name. “You’re just so… bland.”

Ouch.

“Don’t you agree, mouse?”

You know he wants you to answer, and something tells you that he won’t let you leave unless you do. So you swallow your pride. And you swallow the lump that is forming in your throat.

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

Maybe you should put him lower on your list than the Mandalorian.

“Yes. I am bland.”

He leans back in his chair with a predatory smile on his face, like he was the cat, and you were the mouse. The insignificant mouse.

“That is all I wanted to hear, dear wife.” He flashes you a toothy grin, giving you a wave you know means you’re dismissed. And you stand, rushing out into the hall and storming off towards your chambers as briskly as possible. Feeling the tears that you’ve held in for three weeks now starting to prickle at the corners of your eyes. The Mandalorians pace never falters as he trails after you until you finally find your chambers, all on your own. You wish you were in the mood to appreciate such an accomplishment. You wipe your eyes with the back of your hand as subtly as possible, your other hand opening the door, you only get the door open a few inches before it slams shut. You turn around in an instant to glare at him, The Mandalorian was looming over you, his hand just above your head, holding the door shut. You can’t do this right now. You know that the moment he starts whatever snarky comments he surely has about that dinner that you won’t be able to hold back the tears anymore. You can’t do anything other than squeeze your eyes shut to hold back the waterworks as you brace yourself for whatever he has to say.

The familiar faint crackle of the modulator fills the air, suffocating you.

“Are you okay?”

Oh.

You open your eyes and he isn’t looming over you anymore, he’s just standing, notably a few steps back now.

You wish you could stop what happened next, but it all finally happened. At long last, you cry. You finally break down, the weight of the world collapsing down on you. He doesn’t move, or speak, he just stares. Honestly you’re pretty sure you’ve caught him off guard.

“No.”

It’s all you can squeak out, you wish you didn’t sound so pathetic as you said it.

“I just… I want to go home. I hate this entire stupid planet. I hate this confusing castle and now I hate my husband” Gods you need to stop talking, you’re starting to babble, but he doesn’t speak and you can’t stand the silence so you just keep going. “I didn’t want this. Any of this. I miss my brothers and sisters, I miss talking to people. I miss being alone.” You stare up at him now with big wet eyes, you detest the way your lip quivers. “Like, actually alone. Because now I feel alone, but I’m surrounded by people constantly… and that is a thousand times worse. And I feel like I’m going crazy, like, all the time. And I can’t even talk to you, you’re always there and I can’t say a word. I don’t want to have some deep and meaningful conversation with you for Makers sake. I just want to insult you because that is the only thing I can do when I am in your infuriating presence, and you are the only person I can insult who doesn’t suddenly start to fear for his livelihood.” You stare into that miserably cold visor. “And I don’t know what I did to deserve any of this.” You sniffle as you wipe your eyes again.

You just stand there. You want him to say something, you don’t even want him to comfort you, you just want to hear the modulator crackle, anything. But he doesn’t. And you can’t take it. So you swing open your chamber doors and slam them shut behind you, make sure to lock them as loudly as possible.

You cry. You spend the rest of the evening crying, once you get out of that terrible dress you lay on your nest of blankets in the closet in your undergarments, clutching a pillow as you fight back sobs. So much for the silent treatment you’d been giving him. Now he probably hates you even more, he probably thinks you are some whiney, spoiled, coddled little girl who can’t handle royal life.

It’s the middle of the night and you’ve nearly wept yourself to sleep when you hear the faintest knock on your bedroom door.

Your heart skips a beat.

It isn’t Elaine, or Lysa, or Leo. None of them ever bother you this late, and you certainly didn’t summon them. There’s only one person it could possibly be and your heart is nearly beating out of your chest.

Why would he come here so late?

You don’t know but a part of you that you are really struggling to rein in while you’re still in this sensitive state has an idea of what you want the reason to be.

No.

You don’t want that. The part of you that is obviously going crazy, that’s who wants it. Not you. You weren’t allowing that part any control, not these last three weeks and certainly not now. Still, you don a robe and rush to the door. You take a moment for a deep breath before you slide the lock back and open the door, slowly, but surely.

But he isn’t there.

Stop feeling disappointed.

You take a careful step out the door, the soft glow from your room illuminating the hall. You look down both passages, searching for that glimmer of silver but you never see it. As you dejectedly go to close the door something catches your eye. A book, on the ground just outside your door. You lean down to pick it up before quickly retreating into your room. You walk over to a lamp to get a clearer view of it. As your eyes scan the title a warmth spreads across your face.

The Smitten Paladin.

So he had gone back for them.

You need to stop smiling. Obviously he did this because he feels bad for you. Or, if you’re lucky, it’s a peace offering. You return to the closet, bringing the lamp over to your makeshift bed as you open the cover, wanting to read a chapter before bed, but your eyes dart to something scrawled inside. The handwriting is small and neat as you read it.

"It’s green."

You decide that the Mandalorian isn’t your least favorite person here anymore.

I am no longer doing taglists so follow @lincolndjarinnotifs and turn on notifications to be notified when new chapters are posted !!

#lincolndjarin #the mandalorian #best kept secret #bks #din djarin #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian x you #din dijarin x reader #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #din djarin fanfiction #RE UPLOAD

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love-toxin · 1 year ago

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yes pls tell me all ur thoughts on blade, luocha, gepard, jingyuan and kafka 😳 the eng va and trailers for jingyuan and kafka in particular got me acting up—just smthing about jingyuan’s lil smirk and laid bk countenance and how i know he can fuck the daylights out of anyone effortlessly—and kafka? yes ma’am anything for u pls slam ur foot against the wall behind me 🙏🏻

god bless im literally in love w/ all of them anon. would give my left nut for blade, luocha or jing yuan, gepard and kafka carry my team so hard. also bc i want them to step on my face.

also i wanna be toxic rn so under the cut ⬇️⬇️

blade -> prrrrrrrrr. big daddy. idk why but he gives me discord kitten daddy dom vibes. he manspreads. he gets pussy. he probably doesn't shower as often as he should. he's unapologetically a rude bitch. he absolutely girlbosses you into being his baby, he pulls out the "i feel nothing but you give me a taste of life" and keeps you so close you're basically part of him. handsy and off-putting in public for passersby but you can't get his hands off you, it's a losing battle babe. nd he's nasty freaky slimy and rubs his cock against you as a sign he wants to go home or just find someplace quiet. he doesn't like fucking you out in the open but he'll do it if the need arises--like if you "forget" that your body & soul belongs to him and need a harsh reminder. you're just his delicate little kitty after all, so if anyone's gonna break you it should be someone you love unconditionally. right?

kafka -> gatekeep. gaslight. girldaddy. beats you up and makes you say thank you. you're her pet so get used to it, but she'll feed you once in a while so you should be glad, puppy. she's the mean tall girlfriend who babies you and then spits in your mouth for a treat. her & blade treat you like a pet and if she's feeling extra mean she strips you down and makes you kneel between them with nothing to cover yourself. if you're good and give them a lil show they'll let you go early, they promise (lie). humping kafka's pillow to get your scent all over it becomes a nightly ritual to help her sleep, no it is non-negotiable, it is in your spouses' contract that she signed with your hand while you slept. it also states that your face may be used in any and all leisure activities at her discretion--mainly for her to push your head between her legs and lazily give you an order as she sifts through documents. you might be her pet, but that doesn't mean she doesn't love you. at least as far as you can tell.

luocha -> ngl idk that much about him yet but he's immediately unhinged bf-shaped. stupid and drunk on thoughts of you & gives you his credit card details on the first date. he's gross and wants to bite your thighs. begging to be drowned in pussy/choked with cock. you're so pretty and he's so dirty by comparison. he can't blame you for not wanting his gross dick anywhere near you, guess all he can do is eat you out <33 oh noooooo! what a tragedy! sike. he loves that shit. he's got meds to make you squirt too. ik he's not that kinda healer but don't tell me unhinged luocha wouldn't have a ball drugging you both up and taking you for a ride. he wouldn't even know his name once the high dies down, just the feeling of your lips leaving stray kisses all down his face as you try to stay awake.

jing yuan -> daddy 2.0. a dilf with no kids. 1000% goes into husband mode the second you're within reach. chill & soft & uwu until everyone's outta the office, then he becomes a menace to society and your underwear. he cums in them before you leave for the day so you don't forget him <3 you can have a cheeky one in your mouth on his lunch break if you're good. ♀️ he beats your pussy up cock-first for hurting his bbg with your period. he still doesn't get enough of you in the day so he creeps on you at night, rubs one out on your thighs while you sleep and flips over to go right back to snoring afterwards. you can never have too much cum on you--that's his wisdom and as your superior general you should probably believe it, no? don't worry, he can fuck with your job and your life and your friends and your money and your heart until you find it within yourself to agree.

gepard -> dummy boy goody-two-shoes. he likes fuckin in the uniform and being called "captain" i am not taking criticism at this time. dumb little captured stellaron hunter & horny silvermane captain roleplay. moans in your ear during sex. he moans like a girl and he hates it but it's hot and he cums 10x faster if you tell him just how hot it is. he's so big & tall he just makes you feel like a little bunch of grapes when he picks you up, nd he's self-conscious about how weird it is that he likes seeing your face scrunch up in pain when he eases you on his cock but it's just too big. the gravity makes it all feel too much when he sits you on his lap like that but you just wiggle around on it rather than get off, and he's a fiend for it. also consider clean, prim, missionary-lover gepard falling in love with rimming you & feeling like a dirty mutt for enjoying it so much & begging you for it when he's in need. asking him to take a shower with you turns into code for "let's do anal against the tile please" real quick.

#hsr blade #jing yuan #hsr kafka #gepard landau #luocha #blade x reader #jing yuan x reader #gepard landau x reader #kafka x reader #luocha x reader #spicy writing #honkai star rail #ellie thirsts #anons

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monarchisms · 1 year ago

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so this is the unintentional part two of that summary post i made with geoff talking about the end of achievement hunter. for this post, i'm going to try my best to sum up what michael, trevor, and joe (but not alfredo because he was sick at the time 😔) have said about what will happen in the future on the penultimate episode of off topic, #403. there won't be a transcript this time as i am busy with schoolwork and stuff, so i'll try to make this summary as filled with as much accurate information as i can to make up for it :)

so basically,

trevor starts off by saying they'll be doing the last of various series to wrap everything up. he also notes that some of these finales will be "more nostalgic"

one of the series finales that's up right now is vs episode #150: joe vs BK. the game they played is cooking mama!

after the series finale of off topic (#404 lol), the final AH video ever will be a let's play in the remastered version of burnout paradise, and the cast will consist of geoff, jack, trevor, and michael. this is a callback to the first ever AH video they did back in 2008, and it's already been filmed! trevor says it was more emotional then he thought it would be :')

michael explains that the video will essentially be a ~70-minute podcast. in it, they'll talk more about the end of achievement hunter, where the cast members have went/what they've all moved on to, and new projects that they'll working on. he also says that he thinks that people will call this video "cathartic" while comparing the vibe to their old gta v series, sunday driving

not as important, but michael said that he was mindlessly driving and turning in burnout paradise in the same way that he'd run and jump in minecraft because he "fucking hated" playing minecraft lmfao

as said before, they decided to close AH and start something new with dogbark instead of continuing like they used to. michael acknowledges that in the last few years, most of the crew had already left rt in some way or moved on to other stuff within the company, leaving just michael, trevor, alfredo, and joe as the most consistent on-screen talent by the end. *bonus bit that wasn't mentioned until later, but alongside these 4, jarren from the post team will be their channel manager for dogbark :)

as this group makes videos for dogbark, michael says that their stuff will be both "tonally different" and "very fluid" as they're still figuring it out as they go, noting that they were balancing it and AH/let's play content at the same time

michael also talks about how he's been doing what he's wanted to do at AH for a long time, but there were some things he still couldn't do within the constraints the AH crew had put on themselves

while there will be some gameplay stuff on the dogbark channel, as mentioned in this episode and the channel trailer, they will primarily focus on live action content. trevor makes a point by saying that the style/theme in the trailer will "not be pervasive throughout the entire brand", and michael adds on to that by saying the trailer "is at 100, but every video won't be at 100"

michael and trevor make a point by saying that there will be more variety, as in "a dozen little formats", not necessarily like the shows/series they made at AH, with joe saying that they're not trying to "tie themselves down" to strict uploads and such, like they were when they were previously fitting into a mold at AH

trevor says that he has seen achievement hunter, and rooster teeth as a whole, having a unique challenge ahead of them. he refers to making content that appeals to an audience who had been following them since the early days while trying to also find new faces, both out there in the audience and internally at the company, in order for AH to stay around

he also points out how difficult it is to do that with a long-standing brand that has had different eras of content, since there would be an audience with differing expectations for them. with that, it became hard for the AH crew to balance said expectations with the authenticity they tried to show in the content they created. the crew has changed as people alongside their audience, and the stress that came with it was challenging

michael stresses that the group not only chose to make a new channel completely, they also had to fight for it for a while, and wanted to slow down on AH content before properly closing/archiving the channel to create dogbark. beyond the struggles of creating something new from scratch, they now have the challenge of preparing the audience for the jump from AH to dogbark while thinking about all the pros and cons before going forward

this week (the week of september 18th) and next week (the week of september 25th) are the last weeks of new AH content. after that, there will be a 1 or 2-day break before dogbark properly starts making new content on october 2nd. trevor feels like people will get a better idea of what dogbark is after a month or two of them uploading content

finally (subject to change, of course), they want to aim for full uploads every monday and friday, with patreon-like exclusive videos with rt first every wednesday and saturday. one of the confirmed things to expect is a first-exclusive podcast. the first week dogbark officially starts, all that content will be public as a sample of what to expect, and every week after that will follow that schedule

#trevor collins #michael jones #joe lee #achievement hunter #dogbark #off topic podcast #off topic ah #long post #i sort of threw out the order in which they talk about stuff #since they come back to some points a bit later on #it'd be a bit more confusing if i let it be #there may be more i could add in the post but it's probably better to watch/listen to the first ~1/3 of the episode #for example:#there's also a bit where michael says that it's nice for the group to have complete full ownership of something #and that genuinely made me so happy #ough... if only they still weren't under rt.....#like i said before. make of all of this as you will

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jade24632 · 2 months ago

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Sodapop x chubby fem y/n: 💕sweetness💕

Sodapop p.o.v

After a long day at workin at the gas station I decided to head home early, tbh I didn't feel like dealin with people rn.. I just wanna go home. As I walked down the street n the direction of home, my nose caught a delicious smell. Lookin up, from my feet my eyes caught on to a lil bakery that just opened; huh.. probably some new n town.

The delicious smell of fresh baked pastries fill my nostrils, n before my brain could register what was going on- my feet lead me inside. Walkin n the sweet smells of pastries, n fresh baked bread fill the atmosphere. Like it was callin me n. Walkin n the small bakery, my shoes clicked against the wooden floor.

Lil pastries wrapped n well sealed n lil bags on the shelfs; with fresh bread filling the air. Not payin attention I accidentally bumped into some on.

"Oh, I'm sorry"

My eyes caught hold of the most short, precious lil lady I ever seen her chubby cheeks n figuer was too cute; like she came straight out a fairytale. Her big round innocent eyes, looked into mine mine her cheeks started flushin pink.

"I'm sorry, I was n ur way" (y/n)

"No, it's my fault I should've been payin attention"

Not gonna lie her outfit match her personality- she wore a white & pink blouse with cherry blossom flower; with a hot pink skirt. And her tiny lil feet n her sandals. I didn't want to be a creep n just stare so I turned away for a moment, before lookin down at her again. Dammit she's too cute.

"I hope u don't mind me askin, but whats up name lil lady?"

"I'm, y/n" (y/n)

Hearin her name was like a tone of a spring river, and the song of birds n the summertime.

"Y/n, a beautiful name for a lovely lady"

Her cheeks turned a dark shade of pink almost turnin red. But when she asked me her name, I felt embarrassed. My name of all things was Sodapop.. really? My parents couldn't give me a better name? Well it's better then ponyboy.. my brother name after a horse, but anyway; rubbin the bk of my neck I finally gave her my name.

"I'm Sodapop, but u can call me soda"

It was a moment of silence before I heard y/n let out a small chuckle. Apparently she liked it, she said it was unique n different- now my face was hot. Oh no. I didn't know her for so long n I want to know more about her.

"So, soda what brings u n my bakery?" (Y/n)

N she's got her own business? Okay, I respect that.

"Well lookin n ur shop window, I saw somethin sweet I want n it turned out to be u"

Her eyes widened for a minute, before lettin out a giggle. My heart can't take it. I wanna marry her now.

"I was talking about the pastries silly" (y/n)

She playfully hit me, n we both chuckled..

"Well that too."

Y/n p.o.v

After meetin soda, I showed him around my bakery n help him pick some desserts. Like cherry filled muffins, n macaroons. A dessert he never tired before. He also grabbed a couple of cinnamon rolls, n strawberry filled donuts. I guess he had a sweet tooth, wrong. I didn't sell my pastries at a expensive price so, it wasn't much.

But anyway- when I charged him his total cost $15, he gave me $50. For a minute I was confused but he told me to keep a $20 for myself, a $10 for as a tip n the last $20 for his pay.

"A $10 tip?"

"Yea it's not much, but all small businesses need to grow too" (soda)

I blushed a lil, then proceeded to wrap his pastries n a bag. Nowadays if a Soc found out a greaser had this much money, they be jumped. I should know I was a greaser myself; but anyway- I gave him bag n when he reached for it, my fingers brushed against his n I felt a shiver run down my spine. Y/n no- u just met him.. but I wanna know more about him

Soda let out a chuckle before grabbin my hand n placing a kiss on the bl of it, his lips was soft n gently. For a first time I know wha a princess feels like. When he turn to leave I felt a peace of my heart break, did he have to go?

"Thx u y/n for the desserts n lettin me meet u" (soda)

"Thx u, n same to u"

With that he blew a kiss at me with a wink, n left. I aint know him that long- but I felt like I was floatin on air n my heart flutter.

"Please come bk soon"

Soda p.o.v

Holdin the bag n my hand n my shoes clicked against the pavement, I smiled at myself. Not for me but for meetin her.

"Trust me lil lady, I'll be bk soon"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yo,

Hi my babies 💋💋💋!!

I hope yall enjoy this story, don't forget to follow, leave a comment and like for more craziness. Yall come bk now. 🤪

N if u yall want my wattpad for more outsiders, go ahead.. u can find me under tiffanyOsborne8 on wattpad, or under the hastag grumpylady.

N if u got any requests go ahead and drop them in the comments

I love each n everyone of yall: ✌🏾💕

All yall my babies 💋.

#cookie🍪🍪#theoutsiders

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the59er · 3 months ago

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18 Nov 2024

18th November 2024, Monday Listening: Erase / Rewind, The Cardigans

A very gloomy Monday both before and after work,

But last night I pulled an all-nighter and only managed to "sleep" at 730am - 916am. Purposely called work to clock in late because I knew I needed to sleep.

Lunk was at Mubeen's.

19 Nov 2024

19th November 2024, Tuesday Listening: I Don't Want to Get Over You, The Magnetic Fields

Slept at 230am last night. Work is just too much this year-end.. Plus I need to clear as much as possible before my leave this Friday.

Breakfast was Tao Bin, lunk was oden from famima.

20 Nov 2024

20th November 2024, Wednesday - happy birthday to Niksu 🎂 Listening: Sidewalks, Story of the Year

Multiple yawns throughout the morning. I am clearly lacking in sleep. Fought the urge to have Tao Bin again in the afternoon because I knew I wanted to get whisk after dins.

Lunk was famima again, but for dins I couldn't recall?

21 Nov 2024

21st November 2024, Thursday Listening: Specialist, Interpol

Managed to wrap the gifts for my nieces using leftover scraps and I think they look cute. Also decided to pass them the puzzle I bought way back during MCO but have never even used..

22 Nov 2024

22nd November 2024, Friday - Bombay Bicycle Club babyyyyy! Listening: Eat, Sleep, Wake, Bombay Bicycle Club

Managed to close off some of the bigger ticket items for work in the morning before finally heading out for..

Bombay Bicycle Club! ✅

We had BK for dins. On the way to Zepp, 2121 bumped into his high school friend and also my first time seeing a rubyuzi friend in person hehe.

Honestly very glad that I bought seats instead of free-standing tickets because the seats were plush and watching them from upstairs felt like watching from an opera box so I truly enjoyed it!

Wanted supper after the show so settled down at Burung Hantu because that was the only place that we could think of that still opens late at night. Then finally dropped me off to my staycashe spot:

This weekend Im staying over at Stripes Hotel! ✨

23 Nov 2024

23rd November 2024, Saturday Listening: Everything will be Alright, The Killers

Took my own sweet time in the morning. Too lazy to shower for breakfast (and I had a headache anyway) so I ordered room service. Very delicious and comforting sup kambing! Then I got bored so took a walk around the hotel but since it's a boutique hotel, there wasn't much to look at. Here's a selfie at the pool's restroom, lol:

Also finally finished "editing" the video I shot way back in August when I was staycationing at Lloyd's 😂

Finally soaked in the bath and continued watching the rest of Shrinking while in the tub. What a lifeeee ✨

It was later in the afternoon when I finally went out and met up with 2121 to go to Melaka for seafood! Went to the same place that we went to back in August. But I over-ordered the prawns so it was a huge struggle for me to finish them all by myself (he's allergic to prawns). Unfortunately did not take any pictures because it was already too dark so couldn't even see the view. No photos of the food either because we were both already too hangry and went straight to eating 😂

Ended the night at the drive-thru for dessert 🍦

24 Nov 2024

24th November 2024, Sunday - Happy birthday to Bubu! 🎂 Listening: I Write Sins Not Tragedies, P!ATD

Checking out of Stripes today so I had an early start. Went down for breakfast and the weather was perfect for a walk. Saw a cute coffee shop called 103 Coffee so I just had to stop by.

Stripes wasn't that bad, but it's not a place where I'd go again. It's just not memorable enough. But KLoé on the other hand..now THAT is a spot I'd like to check in again.

Once I've reached home, immediately took Mom out to buy food. I think I crashed for the rest of the day but not before getting Bubu a "beskar" Casio as a birthday gift. Now we can match 😂

It was a great week! Tiring, but very fulfilling. Thankful.

#rubynov2024

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barretthanna · 2 years ago

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1 || Book Review: The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

bk. “The Book Thief” by Markus Zusak; published 2005.

wg. ¡ This review does contain incredible spoilers for “The Book Thief” book. Be aware of this fact since I will not warn when they are coming up. !

rw. The Book Thief is often brought up in middle school curriculum during the WW2 unit, specifically the Holocaust. It is often referenced as one of the quintessential Holocaust books, among such as “Night” by Elie Wiesel and “If This Is a Man” by Primo Levi. I was required to read this book for school. I dreaded the thick pages accumulated with the seemingly overdrawn, wordy descriptions and prose. But as I realized the deadline was coming uncomfortably close I allotted time to dive into the book on my own time. As it progressed through the out of context first chapters and I was introduced to the charming and gritty main characters of Liesel (a young girl who suffers from nightmares as a result of her difficult early life) and Rudy (a rambunctious young boy who finds joy in every facet of life) I found myself eager to continue reading the book. The family and community dynamics were contemporary but still incredibly interesting as it broadcast an unfamiliar culture and time period. As the nazis began their rise to power it was incredibly unique seeing the situation from Liesel’s and other character’s perspectives. The young girl was originally indifferent, accepting the nazis and not having a lot of knowledge regarding their beliefs or actions. Soon she forms her own negative opinion of them, being silenced by her foster father for her own safety. Eventually her foster parents invite a jewish man, Max into their basement. His father served with Liesel’s in the first world war, making Hans house his son in his great time of need. Liesel and Max grow close over his time in their cellar, bonding over drawing and weather reports. Unfortunately, a time comes when Max must leave the safety of the home, . He leaves and is caught, being sent to Dachau and suffering indescribable horrors at the camp. Many things happen after Max leaves, Rudy and Liesel grow closer and the girl steals books from the mayor’s home. While these events are important to her character and the development of her character I don’t want to give everything away.. (Except for the ending.) At the very last portion of the book Molching is bombed. Liesel is writing a story in her journal, enjoying the peace and quiet of Himmel Street in the late night. Her entire family and many she cares about are killed in the attack. One of the only people she knew personally who survived was Rudy’s father, Alex Steiner. She is cared for by the mayor’s family following the bombing and reunites with Max in an incredibly emotional final pages.

rg. 10/10 -- I think I completely oversimplified the insane magnificence of this book. The phrasing and vocabulary used in this book, the way Markus Zusak illustrates an incredible community and characters while still writing a respectful historical fiction novel about such a turbulent and horrific time in the world’s history is impressive to say the least. This book changed the way I thought about the Holocaust, making me what to expand on my surface-level understanding of the events of WW2.

tldr. Read this book, you will never regret it. Ever.

#barrettbookreviews #bookthief #bookish #plzreadthisitchangedmylifefr

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kgs-thoughts · 2 years ago

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Over it

I have been short tempered and angry most of the week. The littlest think have set me off let me start from Sunday.

Sunday, when I was on the phone with Te, she had clicked over to answer a call and dropped the call. Idk why but I felt my mood change. Then I checked the GPS to see how far behind Shonda was to see that it looked like she was at a shopping center. Idk why but I had the thought that she purposely had Crishon come with me so that she and Brittany could hang out longer there and not go to dance practice. So, I called her "How's it going?" Her: Stopped to get Brittany something to eat, she seen this Mexican restaurant" Yeah I made up the other scenario but I still felt upset. Once I get to Columbus, Te calls me back and fills me in with what happens, the call was choppy which didn't help my irritation but I understand why she had to call me back.

Monday, I had tried to order chipotle for the house but my card kept declining even with the money there. Then the bank calls me 4 hours later to ask if I was the one making the purchase and no one was forcing me to.

Tuesday, I get a call back from my doctor's nurse about my prescription, she informed that they would put it in so I can go pick it up, but need to me get an EKG soon because of my blood pressure. After work I hurry to the VA to get my prescriptions before the close. As I am walking up Dr Gupta calls me and the VA is locked. On the phone with my doctor she informs that someone has increased the restrictions on my medication. Pretty much if I am not able to get my blood pressure under control she isn't going to be able to continue to prescribe me my medication. I inform her that I need this medication in order to keep my job because I feel like I keep losing jobs because of lack of concentration and ADHD. She prescribed me 7 days supply and ask that I come in on Tuesday. So I'm upset because here is another time something has gone wrong

I guess the problem is I feel like things just keep going wrong.

I went to the ER Tuesday night because of my blood pressure, wanting them to prescribe me something to get my bp down but nope they just told me to monitor my bp until I see my doctor again and to schedule an appointment.

I get up early Wednesday morning to get my prescriptions from VA everything goes well and I leave a copy of my EKG that was done at the ER in Dr Gupta's mailbox. On the way home I'm hungry so I stop to get breakfast, everyone is still at the house so I texted Shonda who is up. I stopped at BK and grab breakfast for everyone. Then when I get home I find out that Brittany has already cooked breakfast and everyone has ate. I was done, I asked Shonda to leave me alone for the rest of day. OH yeah she said she didn't see my question about everyone being up. She apologized but the damaged had already been done.

Thursday, yeah I'm over it. I call off work because Niqo woke up from a nightmare at 330a and didn't get back to sleep until close to 5a. So I called off work, figured Niqo is on spring break and I hadn't really had the chance to spend time with him. My first thought was to take him to Lego Land at Easton but those tickets are $30 each nope! Then I seen Super Mario Bros was playing. Thought it would be a nice opportunity for Shonda, Niqo and I to go to the movies. Then my dumbass, Shonda had told me that Brittany's Nephew that is the same age as Niqo, I ask Brittany if he was available not telling her why. But she had to run off with Shonda to harass her about some bs, I digress. Come to find out he wasn't available. But while the were gone Niqo over heard me tell Te that we were going to the movies. Wanted to be a surprise but the damage is done. While we are getting ready to out the door Brittany ask Niqo if he is excited to go to the movies and adorably he says "Yes, with Mommy, Babe and Beecee (aka Brittany)" FML. I still need to go to the store to get a few things before I left to Cleveland to be with Te. I wanted to go before the movie so I could come home and finish packing. Well at the store, somehow I ended up buying a new TV for my bedroom, a desk for Niqo and a trash can. Was all this on my list yes but I didn't want to buy all this with Brittany. However it happened. I going back and forth about the TV considering we were going to the movies and it would be sitting in the car unsupervised while we watched the movie. But I covered it up with blankets and we were able to watch the movie, which was good and Niqo enjoyed it, the TV was still there when we got out the movie. Get home and Niqo starts putting his desk together on his own, I stop him and finish it. Because I brought the TV we were able to do musical TVs and somehow I ended putting 3 holes in the walls and realized I need to lower Niqo's tv. Little inconvenience but nothing to major. Then on my drive up to Cleveland I got pulled and got a ticket, not for speeding but for the car not being registered. Also let me not forget that I forgot my bp medicine at home.

Nothing has happen today, I really hope dinner goes great tonight with Te, because I can't handle anymore shit. There probably is more but it just more shit on the mound.

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hakkais-hoe · 4 years ago

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Welcome bk to drunk tr shenanigans ;)

Warnings: alcohol and drug use, sexual themes, sanzu being sanzu

Read at your own risk I was highly drunk when this was written

—————————————————————

Shion (aka one punch n he’s gone)-

-this boy is definitely just as gone as you

-won’t shut up bout havin seggs 😩

-spends all his time in the club making you grind n wine on him ofc

-will wait outside the toilets for you

-when ur bk home he’ll he want you to get water ready

-he might make you do your skin care routine (if you have one) on him

-if your wear false lashes he wants to pull them off

-desperate to get in bed he cuddle you if you don’t wanna do anything

-soft boy hours

-tells you how much you mean to him

-“you know I love you right, y/n?”

-“god you’re so attractive”

-then he gets sad and starts asking why you’re even with him

-please reassure the baby

-he’s one of my favourites so if you don’t like him don’t tell me I’ll cry

Taiju Shiba-

-he doesn’t want you to go out

-“this is a bad idea, let’s stay home and watch a film instea or go to church”

-no babes it’s time to get pissed as a fart

-will fight anyone that looks at you

-you’re on a 5 drink max

-stands like a bouncer right outside the toilet

-makes sure you are properly covered, doesn’t want anyone to see any of you ofc

-hands all over you whe you’re dancing tho

-loves when you back it up he gets all red n nervous

-when you go home he’ll get water and help you take off any makeup if you wear it and do skin care then get you into pjs n into bed

-likes to spoon n rub your tummy to help you sleep

-will only tell you how much he loves you when he thinks you’re asleep

-Ik he’s a piece of shit really but he’s pretty

PehYan-

-there’s no content for this pretty boy so I’m here to supply

-absolute angel

-won’t let go of your hand

-wants to even come in the toilet with you

-holds all your drinks to make sure nothing happens to them

-only wants you dancing facing him so you can make out

-arse man, hands are forever on your arse when you do anything

-if you wear shoelaces he’ll get down n do them up if they come undone

-doesn’t want you drinking too much but if you do he’ll hold you’re hair or rub your back if you’re being sick

-yet another makeup remover but the skin care is ignored, the most he’ll do is remover and moisturiser

-just wants to get you to drink and go to bed

-big cuddler

-will openly tell you he adores you

Inupi (aka no.1 pretty boy)-

-knows exactly what he’s doing when he pulls you into the crowded dance floor and presses your back to his front

-tells you how pretty/handsome you look

-whispers everything to you

-laughs at people falling over then points at them so you can see

-inevitably ends up fighting said people and ofc wins

-doesn’t usually drink more than 3-4 drinks so he can look after you

-you can drink as much as you want

-anyone looks at you funny n he’s throwing hands n asking questions never

-will take you home n make you get a shower if he can

-takes off any makeup you have on

-attempts your skin care

-makes you drink at least 4 glasses of water before bed

-better be ready for him to turn into a koala

Koko (pretty boy no.2)-

-enjoys paying for everything for you

-thinks it’s adorable if you offer to pay for anything

-the little shit will laugh at you

-you never need to worry bout people coming over his resting bitch face keeps anyone away

-I’m gonna be that bitch but Koko definitely doesn’t drink or do drugs

-he’ll either have one shot or one full drink n that’s it

-you can drink however much you want

-if someone bumps into you he’s throwing snarky comments at them

-0% tolerance for other people

-wants to go home early

-makes you go home at 3

-water drunk, makeup off, skin care done, he then sits and massages your legs before bed

-tucks you in next to him then sits on his phone

Sanzu-

-Chaos

-this man is a detriment to society

-spends all his night taking wayyyy too many pills

-likes to smack your arse as hard as possible

-will sit back and watch you dance

-if someone gets too handsy he’ll have a walk over n press his gun to their back

-“you gonna take you’re filthy hands off my pretty s/o or do I have to blow a hole in you first~”

-will then make you dance on him

-best believe he’s gonna guide you how he wants it

-got you’re arse pressed against his hips

-spins you every once in awhile to have a messy make out sesh

-leave hickies on him, loves it absolutely loves seeing them down his neck

-groans in your ear

-“God baby… do you know what you do to me darlin~”

-“So pretty, turn round let me see you.”

-this man likes to praise and tease

-drugged up simp who

-you’ll have to take off you’re own makeup apart from lashes he wants to yank them off

-wants skin care done on him

-dead to the world when his head hits the pillows

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bkdotblog · 2 years ago

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"White Lies and Black Eyes," S3E12

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Season 3 Episode 12 Recap

My Title: "The Heather Black Eye Discussion Episode"

My rating: 4 out of 5 black eye reveals

Support for Lisa Barlow: Unassailable

<><><>

Absolutely demented start to this episode.

Remember last week, when the lead up to Heather Gay Black Eye Reveal was edited like a murder mystery? The recap of the previous 48 hours that opens Episode 12 is edited like a nightmare trauma flashback. In case you forgot about Jen Shah going ballistic at every single San Diego-based gathering, a montage with intentionally distorted audio reminds you that you never did, and you never will <3 So: Whodunnit?

Too early for a BK's take but here I am going: My hunch last week was that Jen decked Heather in the night—Deck me classy mama!—but that possibility seemed too entertaining to be true. However, the edit here heavily implies that Jen, after a long day of exhibiting several different forms of toxic social behavior, did do something to Heather that resulted in a black eye. What do U think? I am dying to talk about this—please leave a comment if you are, too!

Heather summons Jen to her room first thing in the morning. Jen, feeling at least a little silly, dons Heather's wig from last night. When the black eye is revealed, Jen seems shocked. She asks what happened, and Heather says this:

"That's why I need you to help me figure out if someone really wants to talk about what happened last night."

!!!

Because Heather doesn't "want any of the ladies to get in trouble," she needs a cover story for the eye. Watching Jen try to be funny about this is very uncomfortable. Her first suggestion is that a spider laid eggs in Heather's eyes, and her third is that Heather invited a Tinder date back to her casita who "got rough." I took this opportunity to Google whether or not Jen has been fired from the show and the jury is apparently still out. Let's trade her in for Mary Cosby!

Heather calls an adult (Meredith) who arrives wearing under-eye patches. When Heather reveals the eye, Meredith is shocked. Watching her react next to Jen is like watching Meryl Streep act against an orange wearing a wig.

"We were with you until 4 in the morning!"

Cue found footage: 4:50 AM, outside Heather's room. We only saw the doorknob turn in the preview, but now the full clip plays. The door opens. Jen saunters in. Knew it!! But wait... then Meredith walks in. And Angie K. And everybody is laughing!

Everything looks good.

And then everybody leaves! End footage.

Meredith's shock is beginning to simmer into confusion. What happened? She keeps asking. Heather says, I don't want to talk about it. Meredith is like, So you know what happened. And then Heather finally says: I don't know what happened.

San Diego: Day Three dawns. This is the worst trip I have ever been on!

Lisa stops by Whitney's room when she's getting ready. Their budding friendship continues to grow. Whitney is still cross with Heather, but she's also sowing seeds of conflict against Meredith. She basically tells Lisa: I thought you were the bitch all along, but Meredith is the real bitch, and she's trying to take you down. Which incenses Lisa and suggests a confrontation is not far off.

[BK's Take: I am still hoping for a Lisa-Meredith reconciliation this season, but this does not bode well.]

[BK's Take, fashawn: Love Whit's jammies!]

The ladies gather and go over the day's itinerary: Roller-blading, go-karts, see the San Diego sights, and SLAY all day rosé! Lisa amusedly recalls when Jen came into her room the prior night topless and gave her a midnight hug.* This prompts Whitney to ask about what went on after she went to sleep. Heather, wearing sunglasses, says things "got a little rough."

Everybody asks: What do you mean?

Heather says: I think we all know what I mean. And she reveals her black eye for the third time in one episode.

While my heart goes out to all victims of Jen Shah (both physical and fiscal!), Heather's wild oscillation on the "I don't want to talk at all about this" and "I need to do a dramatic eye reveal three times" x-axis coupled with her OTHER wild oscillations on the "I don't know what happened" and "Everybody knows all of the details about this already, so I needn't even say them" y-axis is exasperating. Almost as exasperating as that graph metaphor I just tried to pull on u... Sorry! Just trying new things!

Whitney feels nauseous. Everybody is shocked. But Heather insists that she doesn't want to "make the trip about [her] black eye." Everybody decides to drop it for now, though we need to keep a black eye on Whitney, who, you may remember, is on a hilling journey...

To the Go Kart track!

Sorry they're called "GoCars" and they're just little cars for riding around San Diego in!

Most of the pairs are talking about the eye --

-- except for Heather, who is listening to Lisa soliloquy about her closet.

That was fun! For the second activity of the day, the group splits. Meredith, Jen, Heather, and Angie go to a winery. Danna, Lisa, and Whitney go roller skate.

During both activities, conversation inexorably drifts to the Black Eye. The roller skaters discuss theories of how it could have happened over waffle cones. Whitney says: Either she did it to herself (i.e. fell) or someone did it to her (i.e. Jen punched Heather).

Meanwhile, at the winery, Meredith expresses her concerns, and makes it clear that "whatever happened" with the eye "was not ok." Just as I understand the want to not discuss it, I also see Meredith's point: Obviously, if somebody on this group trip physically harmed another person, it is kind of the group's business to know... right?

In her confessional, Heather issues a meandering and bizarre statement about how she won't say anything about the incident until someone else says something. She won't show her cards because "nobody is showing their cards", she won't "spew her theories." In other, less insane words: The next step is the puncher admitting to the punch.

Jen remains silent. The conversation moves through Heather's fractured relationship w Whitney to Whitney's friendship with Lisa to Lisa before Jen speaks up to offer some tea on an SEC filing against one of the Barlow's companies. Also, the Barlows were seen crowdfunding $25,000 for their tequila business — isn't that a little tacky, coming from "the richest bitch" of them all?

On the boardwalk, the ice cream cones have long melted when Danna serves up some complementary tea: Meredith has been talking about an SEC document and a crowdfunding thing relating to Vida Tequila? Lisa goes ballistic. In a confessional, she hypothesizes that Meredith is reacting to her (frankly iconic) "hot mic moment" from last season. It looks like their conflict is about to breach new heights!

Lisa says: "I don't pop pills, bitch. You do."**

(In the sprinter van, Meredith essentially confirms that, yes, this is because she called talked about her dumb fucking family that poses on the hot mic.)

Meredith is suggesting and Heather is dramatizing the idea that Lisa could be a broke hypocrite. Angie is uncomfortable. Jen keeps her mouth shut, wisely.

It's 9PM, and almost time for the Greek Goddess-themed dinner!

Angie goes to visit Lisa, who is not dressed according to the theme by any stretch.

Lisa is upset about Danna's revelations. Angie is like, thank goddess you brought it up because Meredith was talking shit! Set phasers to Meredith!

Unfortunately for Mare, it seems like her closest allies at the moment are Jen and Heather, making them a little bit less than a united front.

Greek Goddess Dinner outfit awards: Whitney is best greek goddess (fashion), Jen is best greek goddess (halloween costume), Heather is best greek goddess ("Ask Me About My Evil Eye!"). Lisa is in good spirits until Meredith arrives to the table—then her nerves start to fray. "Who pissed in Lisa Barlow's Diet Coke?" Heather wonders.

Angie is brought in by male escorts. A little grand, for somebody outside the main cast! But then she gives everybody a gift: An evil eye necklace. Lisa has a very canned response for her confessional: "I'm going to need this to ward off these evil bitches."

Then somebody asks how the day was, and things begin to begin. Whitney, shit-stirring for a brand new team, asks:

Nobody really speaks up, so Lisa doubles down. Meredith and Lisa get into it. Meredith is trying to downplay her part in having two on-camera conversations that put Lisa's business in a bad light, but she still feels that Lisa has done more to malign her. Lisa calls on Angie for backup.

Heather catches on that Angie and Lisa had a pre-dinner conversation, and she offers some condescending advice toward the head of the table:

"It's in poor taste to host a dinner where you stir up trouble right before it starts."

Meredith brings it back to Lisa's hot-mic rant, saying that when Lisa made comments about Mr. Meredith's business, she "endangered the livelihood of his 4,000 employees. That is reckless." This comment confused me.

[BK's Take: Meredith does not strike me as a particularly gracious person, at least to these women. I don't know what her principles are. She has a track record of assuming the absolute worst intentions of those around her and then reacting to those assumptions--see the above paragraph for a recent example. Having successful friendships does not seem as important as occupying a high ground of some sort and looking down from it. I don't love it. Would still like to see Lisa and Meredith come back together at some point, before Mare's bff Jen goes to prison and she's left with just Heather!]

At one point, when Lisa refers to her hot mic "rant", Meredith calls it a "tirade." Lisa: It was a rant! Meredith: It was a tirade. For the official record, these words are synonyms and are nearly interchangeable. I don't understand the nuance Meredith is suggesting. I think she's just a little bit dumber than she wants to appear in the moment.

Whit: "How do we move forward, knowing everybody remembers it differently, fills differently, knowing that we all love each other?"

Heather: "Maybe my eye is a metaphor for our friendships," she offers, because we don't know where it came from or how, but we roll with it, and sometimes we put a patch on it (?) and sometimes we don't. But I think these women are like Heather's black eye in other ways: You understand it's all being played up for drama, but when you look closely, you can see something wild, and violent; a retribution in waiting.

That's all! Thank you for reading. Episode 14 drops in two weeks. Until then, have a wonderful holiday, and Happy New Year. 🌌 BK

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