#bitty is such an interesting character!! i have so many thoughts about him!! he’s my favorite character!!

[ambrosialdesire]

what are your thoughts on yandere levi 😩

my thoughts are: HELL YES

assuming that this is captain levi you're talking about, he's an already pretty terrifying force to be messing with in the first place, whether you are part of the corps or the enemy. to add on the yandere trope onto his character, you're in deep trouble LOL

ngl for me, it really varies on what kind of yandere he is depending on who he's interested in. for now, i'm only going to be explaining the instances and scenarios of reader either being a survey corps low-ranked soldier, marleyan captain enemy, and civilian.

i didn't mean for this to be so long but levi's been one of my favorites since middle school (literally was insane for him back then before reiner's s4 glowup lolol)

this is written as a gender-neutral reader sorta, no pronouns are used but it's slightly implied that this is a fem reader.

tw: manipulation, abuse of power, inappropriate touching, possessive behavior, implied non-con, implied mind-breaking

if you're part of the survey corps but serving as a low ranked soldier compared to levi, he constantly abuses his power over you. it doesn't show at all that he likes you, it's him mostly making you do things for him like you were his personal secretary. he takes you out of training to clean his office instead (he'd make you do it over and over again if it's not up to his standards), takes you away from your lunch group so you can boil his tea for him, sometimes just pulling you out of anything you're doing just to hang around him. at first, you were excited to take any job from him, after all, levi's one of the top soldiers in the corps. it was completely out of respect for the man until you begun to realize that he's just using you to only do "desk-jobs". you start getting sick of doing meaningless jobs for him but you're terrified of even saying anything about it to humanity's strongest soldier. levi's never going to be the really touchy type in any of my renditions of him being a yandere, but you've occasionally felt his faint touches around certain parts of your body as if a ghost had brushed past you; other times, he sternly grips your forearm or shoulder whenever he's in a not-so-pleasant mood. since him and erwin are buddy-buddy, he turns an eye with his behavior towards you, telling you that he would report the mistreatment to the higher-ups but really just throw away the files. he doesn't want his best soldier to falter anytime soon and you being a little special treat to satiate his appetite is nothing short of a itty bitty loss in the ranks. he's manipulative, wavering the threat of forcibly having you dishonorably discharged when you don't do as you're told. you wouldn't want your family to know that you're a shameful excuse of a soldier, would you? so be a good little pet, get down on your knees and beg for his forgiveness by any means necessary.

if you're a marleyan enemy soldier, especially a captain like him, FUCK there's so much tension between the two of you. his paradisian devil soldiers made a complete mess that night, killing many of the underlings and your coworkers, incapacitating the warriors as if they were nothing short of pests. you saw the absolute speed of that man who tore through one of the hinges of galliard's jaw and completely cut down jaeger's beast titan form, swearing nothing but completely hatred for that demon. levi thought you were interesting the moment he spotted you witnessing his attacks, eyes wide with admiration but stewing with disgust at the same time. there was a certain kind of fear that he's never seen before and the two of you shared a long stare before you took a shot, barely missing your intended target: him. a frustrated scream ripped out of you as you had to powerlessly watch them leave through one of the many blimps in the air. you didn't realize that he soon shot his ODM spears towards you, zipping in your direction and kicking you down to the ground. it was like he teleported in front of you as he stood over your body but you were soon knocked out with the butt of your own rifle. you woke up tied to a chair, hair being pulled back and gaze focused on the blinding light above you. he started asking questions, hitting you around like a training dummy but you refused to budge no matter how much pain you were in, spitting and laughing at his face. one of his comrades told him that it was useless trying to make you spill out anything, that they already knew everything that they needed to know from the marleyan defectors and zeke. part of his motivation for this (at that point in the anime) is because he's so sick of losing everyone important in his life so having someone to control, knowing what the outcome is because their future is strung by his own hands, it made the pain easier to deal with. on your side, for some godforsaken reason, he refused to let you go or kill you. oh no, no, no. he wants you to break. he wants that terrified, but idolized look in your eyes again. levi wants you to completely forget the person you are and who you served, only becoming his sweet and obedient marleyan prisoner.

if you're just an average citizen, it's a slow build-up of when levi began to take an interest with you. it was on accident but he starts to occasionally spot you whenever the scouts come back from outside expeditions, eyes wandering over the injured with a sullen expression. he couldn't decipher whether you felt simply ashamed of their loss again or that you felt bad that they had to keep doing this to themselves. that's usually only the few times where he sees you, usually trying to keep to himself and ignore the other bystanders. you were always there however, as if his eyes were automatically always darting to the same spot when he looked over into the crowd. when hange forced him to get out of the stuffy corps building and out into the city, he found himself staring at you while you serve drinks out to customers. it's filthy the way you brush your hand against theirs, winking at them to rub it even more. it was reminiscent, as if he was back watching an underground whore working for better tips. it felt strange seeing you outside of something he was used to, especially if it's something as deprecating as this back-alley bar. levi couldn't stop himself from standing up and trudging over to you when some pig put his hands on you, more so from what you're obviously comfortable with. it felt like he was back in the underground, the way he dug his fists into that sorry son of a bitch's face, fighting the group of men that he was with as well. hange eventually joined in as well, cheering in joy as they threw a beer glass into some guy who was sneaking up behind him. as the fight started to get more insane, he snatched you away from the scene when the moment was right (he may have left hange behind but they're more than capable of handling themselves in a fight). you thanked him profusely and offhandedly mentioned that you were definitely not working back there again after what happened. it could've been the traces of alcohol in his system or the adrenaline, but he kissed you right there. you pushed him away of course, completely shocked that the humanity's strongest had literally just kissed you unwarrantedly. he wanted to take his time to get to know you, he really did. yet levi realizes that he's no different from the disgusting man that he had just beat his face in, his grip around your arm tightening as he forces you against the grating wall in the dark alleyway.

[shitty-check-please-aus]

my hot takes about that era of the fandom: 

I thought it was annoying when people would write Bitty in the most out of character way that they possibly could so they could justify Jack getting with Kent later on in their fic

Relatedly, I thought it was really fucking annoying to see people actively hate Bitty, the main character of Check Please, and talk about how he shouldn’t be as prominent in Check Please, the story about Eric Bittle. I think some of that was also people having issues with Bitty having more feminine interests but I don’t want to enter that minefield tonight

I thought it was frustrating how there was so much Kent fic compared to fic featuring characters of color who were way more prominent and developed as characters in the actual comic. Ditto art. 

I thought that it was bullshit of people to claim they didn’t see a problem in their art when they were coloring Ransom like half a shade darker than the white characters, and to then act like it’s impossible to draw Black people

I thought that it was bullshit how many people infantilized Chowder in their writing, and in general there was a widespread unwillingness to write him as a fully fleshed-out character

I thought it was weird that people would call Ngozi Ukazu “N” instead of typing out her name and I don’t think they would’ve done that if she had a European name

I think some people got to a real uncomfortable level of parasociality for a while and I don’t blame her at all for stepping way back from engaging 

I think in general the fandom has gotten to a way healthier place in recent years

[prince-liest]

Terrified by missionary anon here and oh my god I LOVE the way you reworked the ending of the last chapter!!! It had me squealing!! I was just a tiny bitty sceptical at first but at this point I can safely say I trust u with my life. Which makes sense considering ur occupation but u know what I mean

Also!!! I had a shower thought and I doubt there’s a better person to ask than you because your descriptions are always spot on. I think we can all agree that Vox smells good, but I was wondering what do you think Alastor smells like? 🧐 I vote for that rancid smell of rotten meat, with a hint of lacquer, like an antique shop, very coffin-esque. But I rly want to hear ur thoughts on this!!!

Ayyy, I'm so glad that you liked it! >:D I feel like a couple of years ago I would have been a lot more hesitant to just change my mind like this on something (and admittedly I did feel bad about it initially this time) but I've gotten to the point where I'm pretty comfortable going, "Bro, listen - bro, just trust me." about my own writing, ehehe. I'm pleased it's working out! >:)

Also, you've made a terrible mistake in asking me this question because I've recently become very interested in fragrances but I'm also a gourmand snob and have a very sensitive nose when it comes to food products and cannot stand the smell of things rotting, so I would just categorically refuse to imagine that any character I enjoy smells like rotting meat, klxjchfg.

Anyway, if I had to pick a style of fragrance or cologne for him for when he was alive, I feel like he'd go for something woody but warm. Those kinds of scents tend to be masculine and have a nature-y freshness to them that a guy who buries bodies in the woods would probably get a kick out of. And then add something like amber and musk to undercut the scent to make it feel warmer in a way that I think makes people read the wearer as a safer and more comforting presence, which is delightfully misleading.

As for what he'd wear in hell... Tsokovat's Inexcusable Evil, lmfao, no contest. The name is perfect, he'd think it was hilarious, and I've seen so many people say that it genuinely just smells unpleasantly like dousing yourself in fucking blood. Most people's reviews for this stuff call it really uncomfortable but compelling. Tell me Alastor would not think that this wouldn't be the most amusing perfume ever to force on the people in his presence.

[moonlightreal]

Reading The Secret Circle in 2023

I love this series. It was probably my first teenage witches series, it was YA before YA was really a separate genre, and LJ Smith is a solid writer. But I’m giving it a reread to see what I see, that my teenage self, who had read much less YA, didn’t see. And I’ll just write whatever comes to mind while I read.

The first thing and the main thing that made me twitch was Faye. The femme fatale of the coven, Hera the jealous goddess, boyfriend stealer and terrorizer of the school. In her first scene she’s pressuring a guy who has a girlfriend to take her out on a date, and since the whole school lives in terror of the coven’s powers the poor guy can’t say no. This is super uncomfortable.

Ms. Smith likes this femme fatale character type, she uses it again in one of the Night World books. I don’t think I’ve ever run across this kind of character in any other YA book. Faye is a very sex-positive character but also a sexual predator of unfortunate boys. She’s not a good person but she’s presented as wicked but still one of the good guys.

In the second book there’s a buck-wild scene where Faye, Suzan and Deborah play “Pizza Man He Delivers” they get the house done up like witchy love nest with candles, incense, crystals and music, and then they order six pizzas and if the delivery guys are cute they invite them in to seduce them. And I have so many questions. 1)did anybody do this in real life ever? 2)does Ms. Smith think anybody did this in real life ever? 3)how many adult films is this exact scene in? It’s straight out of a dirty video, with characters who are supposed to be 16! Ms. Smith is a much weirder writer than you might think lol.

Good girl Cassie decides this is wrong because the guys “don’t have a choice” even though they are enjoying the proceedings. The real life dangers of seducing and sleeping with random guys don’t seem to cross Cassie’s mind, so maybe their school has really bad sex ed.

But (back to slightly more serious thoughts) reading Faye it also occurs to me that she’s the femme fatale without ever being slut shamed. Her sexuality is scary but not shameful. Suzan, the voluptuous Aphrodite of the coven who barely gets a mention that doesn’t include mention of her chest size, is not really written as less-than because she likes seducing guys. In fact there’s a scene where Suzan helps the other girls get ready for the school dance and Cassie thinks, “She’d thought Suzan was just an airhead, but it wasn’t true. Suzan loved beauty and was generous about sharing it with other people.” and that is an amazing, amazing way to write the “fashion obsessed airhead” character type. Half my headcanons for Stella are based on that image that stayed in my head from the time I first read this series to the time I started watching Winx.

Each girl in the coven is based on a goddess, and they each have a signature color. This is not a bad writing trick to handle a bunch of characters and make them distinct! The third “bad girl” is Deborah the biker chick, based on Artemis the huntress. Deborah rides a motorcycle and wears itty-bitty tops and leather jackets and at one point has a leather hat with a chain on it. And she’s “not interested in boys.”

Ms. Smith was writing in the early ninties when there were “gay books” and ‘normal books” and she was writing normal books as directed by her publisher so all her characters are white-cis-het. But Deborah, while described as very pretty with a dainty face, is kind of butch. One of the boys, the cold and emotionless Nick, is described as not liking girls, but I don’t get any potentially gay vibes off him. If you wanted to read into it Nick could be ace and Deborah could certainly be a lesbian.

This made me wonder-- if she started writing again today when representation is the trend in YA literature, what would Ms. Smith think? We can’t ask her so I can only make a guess based on her writing, her blogs, and the fact that she’s no fan of Trump… I think she’d freaking love it. Ms. Smith’s jam is writing forbidden love, and now she’d have all these new kinds of couples to write and new reasons for their love to be forbidden. Thinking Night World here because that’s a series that could be expanded, what do all the supernaturals think of same-sex relationships? The witches are very traditional but same-sex relationships happen among animals so maybe the shapeshifters are chill with it. Who knows? Ms. Smith could worldbuild that stuff to her heart’s content and I think she’d have just a grand time.

LJ Smith mentioned somewhere that she put “everything I could find or make up about Wicca” into Secret Circle. There were BARELY any books about witchcraft in 1992, and I wonder what Ms. Smith could do today, when they’re everywhere and she could look up all different magical traditions. She’d have so much to work with!

So what did she have to work with? The girls use rhyming spells and lots of candles. They use herbal teas and homemade beauty products. There are circles and books of shadows. The elements and nature are mentioned a lot, but despite the girls reflecting goddesses they don’t worship the old gods.

There aren’t a lot of magic tools, interestingly. The girls use a lot of stones, each girl has a unique “working crystal” and a type of stone that they use most. Then there are the “master tools,” a set of regalia the leader of the coven wears: a bracelet, tiara and garter. Not a wand, besom or cauldron in sight! At one point one of the characters mentions typing up spells to make a “floppy disc of shadows” which is a phrase I think I read in a Silver Ravenwolf book, but I don’t think Ms. Smith read any SRW, she’d have pulled WAY more from it if she had.

But if you are, like I was, a young magic user looking for how-tos in fiction books, the Secret Circle is great. The main magical takeaway is the use of stones and crystals, which the girls use constantly. As jewelry, as pendulums, in spells, or just to hold to absorb their attributes. Each girl mentions her favorite stone at some point so whoever you are you’ll probably be inspired to use your favorite stones more often.

In fact I think I’ll drop the page from the old Circle Daybreak website here.

Finding your working crystal Each witch in the coven, male or female, also has a special stone, often of their color choice but not always. This is their working crystal, and is used to draw out their own special virtues and powers. Here are what different crystals can be used for and what they mean. You, too, can use your working crystal, in addition to wearing a certain color, to bring out these qualities in yourself.

The garnet brings circulation to normal, helps the blood clot, and purifies. It builds balance, awareness, and well-being, as well as preventing fears and insecurities. Garnets also draw out negativity, and can make one more attractive to others.

The ruby intensify love, compassion, and sexuality. It, too, brings circulation to normal, and purifies the blood. Also, rubies are high-energy stones for courage, boldness, and action. Faye likes to wear star rubies to increase her sex appeal to men.

Carnelian stimulates energy and appetite, as well as physical power and courage. It helps ground one to the physical plane, and promotes practical application of ideas. As Suzan’s crystal, perhaps this is why she has such a fondness for twinkies.

Citrine is Deborah’s crystal and may be the source of her energy. It provides a sense of stability and promotes practical application of ideas and a rational approach. Citrine also adds energy and emotional balance. It clears the body of toxins.

Topaz calms and cleanses. It relieves and balances emotional breakdowns. It aids in the healing of nervous fatigue, exhaustion, and extreme stress. Topaz also aids with headaches.

Peridot is used for clear sight and problem solving. It is a healer of the spirit and physical body. It provides protection from nervousness, and increases fearlessness and willpower. The circle uses it for dowsing. It helps with hurt feelings.

Melanie’s crystal is jade, and she uses it for mental clarity. It brings peace and calm, and has a stabilizing effect on the body. Jade also builds courage, clarity, and tranquility of the mind. It aids stomach problems.

The emerald strengthens memory, clear seeing, and wisdom. It enhances speech and creativity. Emeralds also increase intelligence, foresight, and prophecy. It aids heart problems and asthma, and eye problems.

Malachite purifies things on the material plane. Its bands provide protection of creative ideas. Malachite also promotes tranquility, success and good wealth in business. It is sometimes called lapis liguris.

Lapis Lazuli is used by vampires in The Vampire Diaries as protection from the sun. It illuminates the mind, and has purifying and healing properties. Lapis also promotes mental endurance, insight, and wisdom, as well as building good judgment and psychic abilities. It helps emotional healing.

Azurite aids in communication. It clears thoughts, and cleanses negative mental states. Azurite also aids in insight, vision, and hypnosis. It reduces stress and depression.

The sapphire aids in communication, as well as aiding clairvoyant perceptions, divine wisdom, and prophecy. It also cleanses negative mental states and disturbances. Sapphires help with nervous and mental disorders, and asthma.

Blue Topaz adds spiritual strength. It calms, sooths, and sedates. Blue topaz also brings a peaceful and natural healing state of consciousness. It builds mental clarity, and aids emotional healing.

The amethyst, Laurel’s crystal, has a calming and healing mental effect. It enhances the meditative state, and creates pure thoughts. It also adds spiritual insight and higher values, in addition to alleviating mental stress. The circle uses amethyst to ward off evil

Extra Secret Circle stuff: There was a sequel series written by Aubrey Clark. They are not very good. I did have them from the library but it was some years back so my memories are vague. Ms. Clark did her best but she just doesn’t have Ms. Smith’s gift for getting the characters right. She also killed off some characters, I think Suzan didn’t make it, which sucks.

Ms Clark brought two new things to the series: the concept of witch hunters and Scarlett, Cassie’s half-sister. My first reaction was, “Ha-ha, Mary Sue long lost sister!” but… it’s actually a pretty valid idea. Bringing in a child of Black John is a good way to add something new and connect to the original villain without bringing him back from the dead, and Scarlett can start evil and then be turned to good. Valid plot! I, uh, don’t remember if that actually happened in the sequel series, but the idea’s good.

There was a TV show. I was excited to learn this—but I learned it too late and could only find a middle episode and something I forget what about the plot annoyed me so much that I never tried to find the rest. I really probably should at least watch episode one, give it a chance, but the CW’s style is just so not my jam.

I’ve read that the show and the sequel books have similar plot points so that could explain some of the sequels’ events, if Ms. Clark was writing to tie in with the show.

[sylusheart]

`let's talk about caleb/xia yizhou

i've decided to complie a (sort of) categorised list of all the theories so far regarding caleb's character/identity (and his possible importance to the story of lnds in the future) from posts i've gathered from other players here on tumblr, reddit, and on twt, including some of my own personal theories/questions that i haven't seen anyone speak about yet (to my knowledge) and wanna share, feel free to tell me your thoughts too! oh and please let me know if there’s any potential theories regarding caleb/xyz that i haven’t included in this list yet, i’ll be sure to add them as soon as i can :3 anywho~ let's start off a little simple... ૮˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა ♡

ᰔ caleb will return

as a caleb girlie i have ruthlessly hunted around for anything and everything that i can find to support this idea (of course) but let's begin with some small details that a lot of people have noticed.

he's the first character to have a phone call with the mc, as well as a text message conversation. only the love interests have these types of interactions with mc so far so it sets him apart from the usual side characters. infold are clearly doing as much as they can to intergrate caleb into the mc's life, further signifying how much of an important character he is to the mc and to the story.

there's also many visual scenes of his character model doing all sorts of animations, not even tara or any of the other male side characters like thomas or jeremiah have this many (or at all). and yeah, most of these animations are probably just default ones which may also be the exact ones used for the boys but even so, why would infold put a lot of time in animating him (and his multiple changing expressions) if they were truly just going to kill him off seconds later?

his design was made as carefully as xavier, zayne, and rafayel's designs were - the proof of this is his original outfit. not too sure why they decided to change it (maybe it was too 'dark'? it might've been too much of a in-your-face hint that caleb would return as a possible antagonist?) but it was clear that they went through the effort of changing it for a reason... personally i love his og outfit more, it makes his necklace stand out more and he just looks so itty bitty scrunkly wunkly.

there's some other things i want to add. we know that mc gave caleb the 'when u come back' necklace before he left for skyhaven and after the explosion, caleb sort of 'returns' it. and by returns i mean when the explosion happens caleb's necklace is found right in front of her. with the engraving, it sort of foreshadows him coming back. now, to analyse the explosion a bit more, it happens very suddenly - like as soon as caleb goes into the house and closes the door. of course this makes it seem like he was affected by the explosion but how come caleb's necklace was found in one piece right in front of her? he was wearing it after all, so for it to be the only thing (other than caleb's... remains) in front of her makes it seems like him 'dropping/leaving' the necklace was kind of intentional. we see caleb using his gravitational/telekenisis-like evol in a segment of chapter 4 when he takes the necklace from her, so it makes sense for him to use it again when he's giving it back to her, right? adding onto this little theory about caleb using his evol in the explosion, mc was pretty close to the house when it exploded but is quite far from it after the explosion. now obviously this is due to the explosion blasting her back, but i did see someone mention that caleb possibily used his evol to push her away so that the explosion wouldn't severly hurt her. this makes sense, seeing as she was only slightly injured from the explosion, nothing too serious. but then again, we don't know the true extent of caleb's evol, is he powerful enough to be able to do that? i wouldn't put it past him though, seeing as he is a deepspace pilot and i'm sure he uses his evol for work which means he must've been training with it. going back to my previous point about him using his evol to intefere with the explosion, if he really did push mc away then it's possible he managed to keep himself safe from the explosion using his evol too. but if he managed to get himself and mc to safety then what about grandma? with her condition it's probably not possible that she managed to escape on her own and we don't know whether during that time where caleb and mc were outside if she was still in the house or not. could she have been kidnapped? i'll add more about what i think about the relationship between grandma and caleb further down in another section...

and who exactly was that guy that injured mc in early chapter 4 before caleb found her? from what we can gather with such little info we have, he could've been sent by sylus/onychinus or maybe even caleb himself. the attacker/random guy makes a comment which gives off the sense that he knows mc and this is probably because whoever sent him ordered the attacker guy to be a diversion and lure mc out of the house, via the wanderer/energy fluctuations. if caleb was the one who 'sent' this guy, why would he make that quip about avenging mc for that guy hurting her? is he keeping up with some sort of false façade so mc doesn't question his motives? it seems unlikely though... i think he was genuinely upset over seeing her get hurt and how she proceeded to lie about it to him.

another thing to add, the explosion doesn't go off as soon as caleb and mc are out of sight, this means that the aim wasn't to kill just the grandma but caleb too seeing as it happens as soon as caleb enters the house. but with this theory, it means he had no idea about the attack. in a way this all adds up, meaning that him using his evol to push mc out of safety was out of impulse. we can assume that an important part of the explosion was to ensure mc was kept alive, and this futher implies that the explosion could've been the work of onychinus or more specifically sylus. they're interested in finding the aether core after all (from what’s implied), but if it really was them, how would they know mc has it? only a few people like zayne, dr.noah, and grandma/joesphine (and also maybe xavier, jeremiah, and rafayel? it's not too certain in this timeline...) know that mc's heart is infused with the aether core. i do have a feeling caleb knows as well, it just makes sense as he’s the ‘older brother’ figure so he must know certain ‘family matters’, but then again as caleb is so secretive we don’t have a concrete answer on what he does and doesn’t know which is what makes him suspicious. could he be the one who potentially/accidentally implied or informed sylus/onychinus about the aether core having to do something with mc? is that why he faked his death, so that they’d assume caleb and mc were the ones in the explosion and not caleb and grandma? i’ll also make a seperate post on sylus seeing as there's one month left until he will be officially introduced (i am so very excited) as he’s after the aether core (perhaps he was the one that put it into mc’s heart in the first place? or he created it?)

back to caleb, him 'losing' his necklace admist the explosion is almost like him letting go to his past self (?) is he going to use this explosion as some sort of... rebirth or character development? will he let go of his soft, puppy-like persona? it sounds like a bit of a stretch but i do think he has something shady going on. maybe letting go of the necklace is like letting go of the 'big brother' title so that he can return into mc's life as a love interest and not as an older sibling-like figure. i think caleb tries to show us that he's upset mc still see's him as a 'brother' just because they grew up together. comments are thrown around, like how she should just trust him now that they're grown up and how they're not little kids anymore - this all makes it seem like they don't have to keep seeing each other like they're siblings and that they're mature enough to articulate their feelings.

and it may be a stretch, but a lot of the typography in the latest content uploads DO have subtle signs that point towards caleb, almost like they're hinting at the fact that caleb is still 'here' and he isn't gone like we are believed to think.

and i'm not sure if anyone's played mr. love queen's choice (it's another otome game made by infold and lnds is set in the future of the same universe that queen's choice was set in) but killing off their LIs and bringing them back to life isn't something they haven't done before so... take what you will from that. not to mention, caleb's name has been trademarked/copyrighted by infold...

and if that wasn't enough to convince you, then here's infold quite literally saying that caleb will return at some point in future updates.

ᰔ caleb's 'arguement' with mc was forced/intentional

so there's a part in the beginning of chapter 4 where caleb informs grandma and mc that he submitted an application for a long-term care ward for grandma (did he do this to keep grandma out of the way? knowing that she could interfere?) mc is suprised about this, as is joesphine (grandma) and when mc asks him why he didn't say anything to her about it all he does is laugh and look away - brushing it off. later on, when mc decides to hide/lie about the fact that she got attacked by someone caleb gets quite defensive and hurt over her not telling him about it. in the moment, mc doesn't mention the fact that he has kept things from her too (such as the care ward thing) probably because it slipped her mind due to caleb reacting the way he did, or because if she did mention his hypocrisy, it would probably make things worse or end a little more bitterly than it did.

however, we know (from the phone call with caleb at end of chapter 1, as well as a part in chapter 4) that these two are aware that they both tend to keep things from each other. claiming it to be 'top-secret' or 'classified information', but then again this is to do with work related sort of stuff - getting hurt by some random dude on the street or submitting an application to a care ward isn't exactly associated with their positions as a hunter/pilot.

i think it's pretty obvious that the reason caleb joined mc when she left to search for wanderers wasn't because he needed to collect some groceries. if you want some visual proof - when he confronts mc he isn't holding any grocercy bags or anything, nor does he bother making a joke about how the store didn't have any of the things she requested or how he forgot to bring his card with him, and that's probably because he wasn't gonna bother keeping up that act seeing as mc had already caught onto it when she told him not to follow her. again, mc doesn't point out any of this and maybe it's because she's too caught up with the emotions in the conversation or maybe it’s because caleb’s reaction/behaviour is sorta making her feel guilty and in the wrong.

so why did caleb follow her? was it because he wanted to speak with her alone? it was clear he had something on his mind before he hesitated (more on that later) or was it because he needed to buy some time so that the 'bomb' could be placed and set off? anyway, the reason why i'm suggesting the 'arguement' was forced is because maybe caleb wanted mc to despise him so that she would be less hurt over his 'death'? or that when he returns she'd forgive him instantly because she would regret the way things ended before his 'death'... i'm not too sure on the reason, but the way he went about the situation was kiiinda suspect, like he was purposefully trying to rile up emotions.

ᰔ caleb the villain

do i think caleb will return as an antagonist? yep. and if you think about it, like reaaaally think about it, it makes a lot of sense because why would he need to fake his death in the first place if not for something shady. no deepspace pilot needs to be doing all of that. but if, for some reason, he stays dead (... guys c'mon he won't trust me) then he merely was just a civillian that fell victim to a wanderer-associated explosion. not a shred of evil in his soul. i’ll add more onto the idea of evil/dark caleb later but for now i'm going to expand more on this in the section below~

ᰔ caleb is (not) sylus?

i've seen a lot of players debate over the idea of the shadowy figure at the end of chapter 8 being either caleb or sylus... or both? personally, voice wise (english voiceover) ... i think they're pretty similar. i haven't compared both mysterious guy and caleb's voice in the other languages yet, but if all the other voiceovers had similar caleb's and sylus' i'd assume more people would've put more attention on that, as that would sort of be a little bit of confirmation that the similar sounding voices were intentional or something. but still, it wouldn't be enough. now appearance wise, i also think they look quite alike. yes, the hairstyles are different but if caleb really did fake his death then he'd change up his appearance and embody a sort of new persona, right? i mean he'd still be the same caleb we love and know, but i feel like there would just be a new aura to him. i saw another player saying that perhaps the chapter 8 guy probably is caleb but with his face surgically modified due to the explosion which sounds like a really good theory, seeing as these brightened photos of the mysterious guy just looks like a more sharper/defined version of caleb's puppy-like face.

a lot of other players also said that the mysterious guy might be thomas, as it would make sense for rafayel to be talking to thomas but i really think that's not the case. now do i think caleb is sylus? maybe. but truly, i think caleb is most likely just working closely with sylus/onychinus meaning that sylus and caleb are in fact two different people (perhaps they’re actually twins or related somehow??)

however, after chapter 8 came out and the devs made this post on weibo:

a lot of people took this in as confirmation that the mysterious guy from chapter 8 was not in fact sylus. so could it be caleb instead? but then that would go against the theory of caleb being sylus, seeing as this post says that sylus has not appeared yet...

ᰔ caleb is (not) sylus? [part 2, as of june 20/21st post-sylus announcement]

now that sylus' model has officially been shown, we can confirm that chapter 8 guy really isn't sylus and so i suppose it's time to debunk all the 'sylus = caleb' theories. though it still confuses me on how sylus character profile was unlocked in the hunters encyclopedia (? spacepedia was it) right after the completion of chapter 8 , i think that's why we were all so quick to believe that the mysterious figure at the end was sylus. but anyway, personally for me now i'm way more convinced mr. shadowy figure dude really was caleb and i really want to know if caleb is working against or with sylus and if sylus has anything to do with caleb having this... alter ego.

ᰔ the apple motif

a player pointed out that we're seeing some sort of re-telling of fairytales through the love interests, i.e. sleeping beauty, ice queen, the little mermaid, etc. and that caleb is the 'snow white' of this theory, you know, with the apple and all. i like this theory because it suggests mc being the knight in shining armour, having to save her boys. and i'm a little (very) curious on what sylus' fairytale would be too, or if he’ll be an iconic sort of villain/morally grey character like maleficent? i feel like we'll see more of these 'apples' throughout the story... even if caleb stays dead (he won't) also, kind of unrelated, but one of my favourite book series - which is sorta like a fairytale to begin with (it's called once upon a broken heart by stephanie garber, if you end up wanting to read it don't physically go and buy it/support the author... she's a z!onist, i can give you an epub file to the book so you can read it for free so that it doesn't give her any money lol) - has a character who's got a curse where his kisses are deadly, and if he kisses anyone who isn't his 'one true love' then they'll die. the thing is, he doesn't know who his 'one true love' is or if this person will even be someone he reciprocates feelings for. he surpresses his urges to kiss by eating these magical (?) apples and somehow it's enough for him to not go on a murdering spree. again, as this is off-topic and of course will most likely not happen, i'm mentioning this only because it'll be interesting to see if there's some sort of significance to why caleb likes apples so much? is it because mc likes them? we know that mc likes apples through a line she says to xavier in one of his memories:

but also when caleb steals the necklace mc got/made him and he mentions that it's in a style that she really likes. which is probably refering to the little apple pendant thingy? but yeah, maybe it has something to do with their childhood i'm not too sure. besides that, if you look closely in some scenes where mc is in her apartment you can see a framed picture/painting of an apple in her bedroom. did caleb give that to her? or was it commissioned?

ᰔ what's the beef between grandma and caleb?

so as far as we know, grandma took in mc and caleb. she was looking for mc and found her in an orphanage/foster home (?) and took her in because mc recognised her somehow despite all of the experiments she endured and the 'incident' (chronorift catastrophe) that happened in linkon city, i'm not too sure if we know how grandma found caleb (though if anyone knows where it may have been mentioned pls let me know), but for now let's assume they were taken in at around the same time or similar. if that were the case, then perhaps caleb was also a subject for the 'experiments' that joesphine and her colleagues were conducting. since mc has her memories wiped regarding that time, which was most likely due to her aether core or her evol, i think if caleb was truly a victim in these 'experiments' then maybe he might still have memory of this? though, why would he allow joesphine to take him in if he knew what she did/does? or maybe he was too young to understand anything and only later came to a realisation when he grew up - probably after finding some files/photos that tied joesphine to mc/himself before the 'incident'. we all know caleb is pretty secretive, so if he did find something out he would've not made it obvious. but then again, mc did tell zayne (i think, or maybe it was monologue) that there was barely any trace of joesphine's research/work around their (old) home. so if caleb did find something out, then it must've been from an outside source - and i get the feeling an outside source would be someone from the N109 zone.

whatever happened, i think grandma is weary of caleb, like she knows that he's been associating himself with the wrong kind of people or that he'll end up not being a constant in mc's life e.g. his sudden death (if it was planned/faked in the first place) which is why she entrusts mc to zayne instead of caleb. it seems that she really wants to match-make zayne and mc together - we know from her trying to get mc and zayne to have lunch together if she had to be placed into a hospital, and from her telling zayne to look after mc when she passes. maybe she actually knows more about zayne (and his past lives) than we think, which is why she's more reliant on leaving mc to zayne because she feels she knows more about him rather than caleb because as i said, she appears to be a bit skeptical of him. there's even a part in the 'world underneath' stories where she hesitates to say caleb's name, (maybe because that's not even his real name??) but that's to assume if she was even referring to caleb here:

ᰔ what was that flash of light that made caleb change his mind from explaining to mc?

i haven't seen anyone mention this i think but caleb seems to give up on what he was saying as soon as something flashes by. it's almost like he comes to a certain realisation as soon as this happens. he looks really sad and hurt, so what was he about to say? if you listen closely to chapter 4 segment 3 'within reach', the flash of light that passes by and is reflected on his face is acompanied by the sound of a car going past. he doesn't look at this car, but is he somehow reminded of zayne? as far as we know he's the only male love interest (other than rafayel, but caleb doesn't know rafayel... right?) that drives a car (he has multiple actually… rich daddy) and as well as this, doesn't zayne live close by to caleb's/mc's childhood home? (i'm not too sure on this, correct me if i'm wrong...) so it could actually be him. i assume that since lnds is set in the future - public transport would be much more advanced and faster than how it is now which is why many people would opt to use it more often rather than using personal vehicles, so it's possibile caleb could have recognised the sound/look of zayne's car? which is why he decided to put an end of the conversation there - being reminded of zayne and his position in mc’s life, probably thinking that zayne would be mc's first choice if she were to confide in someone. but of course, if that really was zayne we may never know. caleb sort of laughs/scoffs (?) to himself and looks down right after he pauses and the flash of light passes by. it's like he's coming to terms with something, maybe accepting the fact that in mc's eyes he'll always be seen as the 'brother' figure and he can't have what he really and truly wants. aaaand drumroll, this brings me to my next point...

ᰔ caleb and his relations with zayne

their designs are pretty similar, in fact they could even pass off as twins seeing as their hairstyles sort of just mirror each other. but no, i don't think they're actually related, though i do get the sense that there might be some sort of jealousy going on (?) maybe not so much from zayne's side but the way caleb says the line "even the world's busiest guy has to eat. i haven't seen him in a looong time. we should invite him over for dinner, right?" (in chapter 4 segment 1 'family') it sounds a bit... strange to me. the way he says it is like how one would challenge prey into enemy territory. but then again, i really think i'm just looking too far into it. caleb naturally has a spontaneous and joke-y way of talking anyway, so maybe it probably is nothing malicious, but give it a listen if you really want to.

we don't know caleb's exact age (yet) and i don't know if he'd be older or younger than zayne, but hopefully in the future there's more on what their relationship is like - seeing as they're almost like polar opposites, i feel like their dynamic would be fun to witness. i presume those two didn't keep in touch over text/call like how caleb does with mc, so it would be nice to see them finally interact after so long. even a flashback with mc, caleb, and zayne as kids would be good... i'm begging for anything at this point...

that's all i have for now, i'm probably missing a lot of potential lore that could help with these supposed theories because the only myth cards i've completed so far is zayne's foreseer myth. i think in the lumiere myth cards there was a bit about the 'incident/catastrophe' (?) but since i lost the 50/50 to raf i've been a bit pouty and haven't watched a reupload of it or anything (i really wanted his solar pair ok...) anywho, i'll perhaps edit/correct this as more of the story comes out or if you guys want me to add/change anything :3 thank you for reading! i hope you enjoyed me rambling on about caleb. this is basically my manifestation post so that he comes home... we miss you xia yizhou. "૮₍ ˶•⤙•˶ ₎ა

[carcasstohounds]

every time i see a post that’s basically just “bitty is annoying and no one actually likes him” i lose 5 years of my life

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 299: No Chains Left

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “and then AFO broke out all of the inmates from six other prisons and took a nap. well anyways, here’s the hospital angst.” Kacchan woke up two days later and was all, “WAIT BUT HOW ARE DEKU AND TODOROKI AND ALL OF THE OTHER CHARACTERS EXCEPT IIDA DOING” and then we cut to Shouto’s room where the other U.A. kids were sitting around being Mutually Traumatized and giving each other moral support and such. Everyone was alll, “...”, and then the rest of the Todofam showed up, INCLUDING POSSIBLY REI?! which, omg. The chapter ended with Kacchan STOMPING THROUGH THE HALLS all “WHADDYA MEAN DEKU HASN’T WOKEN UP YET”, dragging along Satou and Mineta behind him, fueled by the power of ALL OF THE FUCKS HE NOW GIVES. He gives so many fucks now you guys. This boy cares so much he can probably deduct it on his taxes.

Today on BnHA: SPEAKING OF PEOPLE WHO GIVE A LOT OF FUCKS, the story cuts abruptly to Hawks, freshly recovering from his near-death experience, and pondering the threads that have weaved the tapestry of his life and led him to this moment. Basically he grew up in poverty with his Jerk Dad and Jerk Mom until his dad got arrested one day and his mom sent him off to go Find Money Or Something, and so he rescued a busload of people and found himself a new career. Back in the present day, Hawks and Jeanist ride around town in Jeanist’s Jamborghini having awkward encounters with civilians in a country on the brink of social collapse, and visiting Hawks’s mother’s home. Hawks is all “I know from an outsider’s perspective it must look like my life currently sucks, but now that the HPSC is gone, my public image is shot, and my parents are finally out of my life, I’m actually feeling SURPRISINGLY GOOD.” Anyway so he’s gonna go meet up with Endeavor now, and p.s. this chapter was fucking fantastic though, damn.

oh my god?? is this Hawks narration?? something about him growing up watching the heroes on TV and thinking of them as fictional characters

okay I scrolled down a little bit more to see the rest of that “Keigo” panel, and wow

this is basically a shed. poor boy definitely grew up rough. let me tell you guys, I came in here ready for some BakuDeku shenanigans; I was not prepared for Hawks Flashback Angst. I AM HERE FOR IT, but also wow I gotta brace myself now lol

HELLO MISTER HAWKS’S JERK DAD, SIR

BnHA sure does have an array of Jerk Dads, doesn’t it. makes me appreciate characters like Masaru and JirouDad all the more for bucking the trend

anyway. so Horikoshi, you really thought that one itty bitty chapter of hospital catharsis would be enough to calm us all before you went right back to showing us child abuse huh. my god man can we rest

BABY HAWKS

swear to god this kid can’t be more than five or six, and yet he has this completely blank look on his face even with his dad looming over him being all threatening and shit. like he’s shut down his emotions to protect himself. imagine what has to happen to a child for him to have learned this at such a young age. fuck

AND MEANWHILE THIS GUY

don’t mingle with humans?? not “other” humans, just humans?? what is this implying here?? and also holy shit Hawks definitely didn’t inherit his looks from his dad orz

then again he doesn’t really bear much of a resemblance to his strung-out mom here either

omg omg omg. and this child is basically trapped here in this environment with these two people. this explains a SHITLOAD about Hawks’s personality though you guys. his ability to completely separate his real thoughts from the face he presents to the outside world. his pragmatic approach to analyzing and solving problems. his layers of emotional walls. turns out almost none of that came from the HPSC training -- that was all learned hands-on in his own personal do-or-die survival nightmare childhood!! oh, boy

and small wonder then that he latched on to Endeavor so strongly if he really is the one who brought down his dad and inadvertently saved him from this. also, just putting this out there, I know people are always talking about him and Dabi being foils, and I think it’s very interesting how Touya grew up in a household where he saw firsthand the dark side of hero society, and so ended up becoming a villain in order to bring it down. whereas young Keigo had almost the exact opposite experience, growing up experiencing the dark side of villain society and becoming a hero in order to bring about a world where no one else has to experience that. just. both of them are so determined not to become their fathers. some interesting parallels there

so Hawks was sort of an accident after his parents had “thanks for helping me not get caught after I killed that guy” sex, and now this little boy is growing up in squalor and being beaten by his father for things like Sitting In The Wrong Out-Of-The-Way Corner Trying Not To Be A Bother To Anybody. holy fuck. this is so rough to read through you guys

wait so does Jerk Dad have a an eyeball manipulation quirk?? because he doesn’t have the wings like his son, but wth are these things??

this presumably also means that Keigo has never been to school or anything either. he basically doesn’t exist. he thinks heroes are fictional characters, he doesn’t realize that they’re real people. these are people who could help him if he could escape and find them, but he doesn’t know, and they don’t know about him

OH MY GOD HE’S JUST SITTING IN HIS CORNER HUGGLING HIS ENDEAVOR PLUSH OH MY GOD

how could this child possibly have an anti-fandom when he’s done NOTHING WRONG HIS ENTIRE LIFE. huh. just explain that to me. lol I mean I’m not looking to pick a fight with anyone, but also, MAYBE I AM, idk?? this kid has gotten me all riled up lmao

anyways, Protect Keigo 2021, and thank you Horikoshi for these three very terrible pages. I am pleased to inform you that you’ve effectively gotten your point across and you may now commence saving this kid already

YAY

oh no, Keigo’s dumbass jerk dad tried to steal a car and the popo nabbed his ass and now his mom can’t just sit around neglecting her VERY YOUNG SON all day long, oh horrors. sorry lady my tiny violin is on backorder. just imagine that I’m playing a very sarcastic song on it for you

anyway so what are you gonna do now, abandon him? I can hardly imagine he’d be worse off, if anything it might be a near-instant improvement

LMAO HE’S ALL “WAIT WHAT ENDEAVOR’S A REAL FUCKING DUDE?!”

AND THEY SAY THAT A HERO CAN SAVE US~~~~ I’M NOT GONNA STAND HERE AND WAAAAAIT~~~~~ I’LL HOLD ONTO THE WINGS OF THE EAGLES, WATCH AS WE ALL FLY AWAAAAAAY~~~~

lol what a randomly pivotal moment in his young life. TIME TO GO MAKE THESE MEMES INTO DREAMS YOUNG ONE

anyway so his mom freaked out and grabbed him and they wound up at a train station with her TELLING HIM TO GO GET HER SOME MONEY, oh my god. SURE MOM LEMME JUST WALTZ RIGHT ON DOWN TO THE “JOBS FOR FIVE-YEAR-OLDS” STORE AND TELL THEM I NEED SOME CASH. ffff manifesting someone to come help him in 3... 2...

...

SIGH, JUST GO RESCUE THE PEOPLE FROM THE BUS, KEIGO. is this the outfit he was wearing when that happened?? it must be, right?? I can’t imagine them surviving more than a couple days out here unless this starts getting REALLY dark in a way I know that even Horikoshi won’t explore, so yeah. cut to the HPSC now please. never thought we’d be glad to see them. I mean sure, it may be an “out of the frying pan...” case, but good god

THANK YOU!!

and I guess it was his mom’s eyeball quirk then. anyway, whatever, see you again never, hopefully. lol oh man. thaaaat, was upsetting. need to center myself here for a sec. NAMASTE

OH YAY THE PRESENT

so we cut from Baby Hawks Angst straight to Present Day Hawks Angst, huh. not that this exhausted and traumatized lil lad isn’t still a baby to me too, I’ll have you know

BEST JEANIST, ALWAYS WITH THE JOKES

“WHEW, THOUGHT YOU DIED ON ME FOR A SEC THERE KID.” lmao. Caleb will no doubt ruin this by making his word choice all stiffly formal as usual, so I’m just going to treasure this “WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, I’M FRESH OUT OF FUCKS” version of Jeanist while I can

look at him, driving his Jeanistmobile

again, is it any wonder Kacchan was bitching about Endeavor’s dinky little car when he was used to riding around town in style like this. anyone else staring at this panel trying to figure out how this car is somehow secretly made of jeans

NOOOOO

FUCK YOU DABI LMAO. PUTTING THESE VOICE ACTORS OUT OF A JOB ONE BY ONE

anyway so Jeanist is all “GOOD THING IT’S THE FUTURE AND WE’RE SO GOOD AT MEDICAL SCIENCE” to handwave how Hawks went from one step shy of being a very handsome corpse, to sitting around texting Jeanist in a car all of two days later

OH MY GOD, AND FINALLY AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS

wait a minute. I’m so confused lmfao. soooo, was Hawks all “anyway, here’s Jeanist’s dead body, you can examine it but please don’t look at him too closely and also I’m gonna need that back unharmed.” how tf did you pull that off lmao

(ETA: also isn’t this technically confirmation of the ol’ Noumu Jeanist theory lol. I’m gonna go ahead and say it is.)

NO BUT PLEASE, CONTINUE. I unironically love reading Horikoshi’s overly convoluted “SEE IT’S NOT A PLOT HOLE” explanations

lkldslfk so wait, you’re telling me Hawks convinced Dabi and the League to put Jeanist’s body in storage, and basically just hoped they wouldn’t use him for any experiments until he could put his plan into action and have the HPSC’s people break in and find and revive him?? WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG. A FOOLPROOF PLAN IF I’VE EVER HEARD ONE

fff this man really asked Jeanist to risk it all to prop up his little cover story, and Jeanist was all “sure why not” omfg. anyways, thanks for recapping all of this out loud for no particular reason in your car conversation you two

LMAO NOW WHAT

TROUBLE YOU SAY? GOOD THING THE NEW NUMBER ONE HERO IS ON THE JOB THEN

okay no it’s just some random thugs strolling around terrorizing the downtown. fuck ‘em. so Jeanist is making short work of them now

uh oh

won’t come? not can’t, but won’t?? what???

WOW

well I guess that makes the local heroes A BUNCH OF SHITHEADS now doesn’t it?? jesus

and okay, serious question, if the cops are spread too thin and the heroes have literally walked out on the job, what exactly is stopping everyone from deciding to use their quirks to defend themselves, legal or not? nothing, as far as I can tell. society just got a hell of a lot more chaotic

anyway so this is an interesting panel here

man, Dabi really did pull it off, didn’t he. well anyway so here’s that better world all of the villains were wanting, you guys! isn’t it so great?? everyone’s terrified and angry and losing hope and society is inches away from collapsing into total anarchy! but hey, at least we exposed the number one hero as a hypocrite

anyway so what are these guys up to

fucking hell, he’s visiting his mom. I really wasn’t prepared to commit this much emotional energy towards reading this chapter today. BUT VERY WELL, WE PRESS ON

?? wait she’s not there?

is this supposed to explain how Dabi knew who Hawks really was? except that there’s the little matter of how he even know where to find his mother in the first place. feels like we’re still missing something there, but oh well

OH MY GOD

RHA I TAKE BACK EVERY WORD I EVER SPOKE AGAINST YOU. YOU ARE A SCANLATION GROUP FILLED WITH ANGELS LMAO. I WILL TAKE THIS PANEL IN MY HANDS, AND TREASURE IT AND KEEP IT SAFE

ANYWAY, BECAUSE MY TIRED BIRD SON’S LIFE SUCKED SO MUCH ALREADY, IT TURNS OUT HE’S ACTUALLY PLEASED WITH THIS NEW TURN OF EVENTS LOL HOW ABOUT THAT

GOOD FOR YOU BBY. YOU GO OUT THERE AND BE YOUR OWN PERSON

and in all seriousness, I love that identity he chooses -- chooses, because it actually is him making a choice now, possibly for the very first time in his life -- is “guy who helps people”, though. it really is nothing short of miraculous that he held on to that kind of optimism and desire to do good even with everything he’s been through. there were so many times he could have chosen to turn his back on the world in retaliation for the way it treated him. but he didn’t!! and here he is now, finally free, and what he wants to do with the rest of his life now is simply to help others. anyway please excuse me for a moment, I need to go find some sort of basket or a big vase to put all of my fresh new Hawks Feels in, pardonne-moi

YEAH BOIIIIII

“FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS, MISTER JEANIST, WHERE DID YOU FIND YOUSELF THAT SWEETASS CAR.” hey, all I’m saying is if this boy’s wings really aren’t growing back, he’s gonna need to find himself a new means of transportation y’know?

oh my god you guys it’s a flashback to his mom buying him the Endeavor plushie when he was like two because, and I quote, ALL MIGHT WAS TOO EXPENSIVE

oh my god oh my god. my boy out here with a new lease on life finding hope in the darkest of times

wasn’t your throat supposed to be all fucked up lmao. Horikoshi was suddenly all “oh shit the VAs are gonna be pissed at me if I keep this up huh”

“that’s why Bubaigawara was such a great guy” motherfucker IT IS A TERRIBLE DAY FOR RAIN. FORECAST SAID NOTHING ABOUT THIS

:’)

yes ma’am. yes indeed. confirmed, I really will straight up fight some motherfuckers for this child. well not really, but YOU KEEP YOUR DISCOURSE OFF MY LAWN AND OUT OF MY BLOG YOU HEAR. THIS IS A HAWKS-FRIENDLY SPACE. WE RESPECT TAKAMI KEIGO IN THESE STREETS

and he’s saying (or is he thinking?? what a weirdly shaped speech bubble this is) that even if what Dabi said about the Todoroki household is true, “I’m not sure it’s the same now.” which happens to be ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. man this whole chapter really is all about saying “fuck the past” and moving forward and I am living for it

SON!!!!

“the first step is at my beginning” fklkjlk. what an iconic fucking line??

AND HIS WINGS!!!! THEY ACTUALLY ARE GROWING BACK AHHHHHHH. “PUT A RAINCHECK ON THAT CAR, JEANIST-SAN.” THE HAWKSMOBILE CAN WAIT, RIGHT NOW HE HAS TO GO INSERT HIMSELF BACK INTO THE TODODRAMA WHETHER THEY LIKE IT OR NOT

you guys. I came here ready for some BAKUDEKU HOSPITAL ANGST, and I got DIDDLY SHIT of that, and none of my other kids were even in this chapter, but!!! ASK ME IF I CARE LMAO omg. because bird son is hanging with his new best friend, and he’s out here Finding Himself and picking up the pieces and putting them back together stronger than ever because RESILIENCE HAS A NAME, AND IT’S SPELLED H-A-W-K-S, and you guys. profound, my love for this child. holy shit. hey google, play Silence by Marshmello

[thewritetofreespeech]

please write me something adorable for Mammon x Reader!!

Based loosely on the cutest comic ever created about Mammon (I will not argue about this this) by @hhhany82 [x]

You hadn’t seen Mammon all day. Which was unusual for him.

Usually, the white-haired demon spent every free moment he had invading your personal space. Talking to you. Trying to get you to laugh. Involving you in his latest scheme. Today, however, he was mysteriously absent. To the point that you had to ask one of the others where he was.

“Maybe he’s in the rookery.” Satan supplied when asked. Sparing a moment to look up from his book while he and the other younger brothers lounged in the sitting room.

“The rookery?” You asked. You guys had a rookery?

“Yeah. It’s where Mammon keeps his familiars.” Asmo replied.

“You mean they don’t just live outside?”

“Hehe, no.” The pretty demon said with a laugh. “He keeps them in a tower here at the House of Lamentation. Don’t know why. Birds are so creepy!”

“Does he have a lot of them?” You were really curious now. You’ve only ever seen one or two; and maybe foolishly thought they just appeared when summoned. You hadn’t really thought the familiar thing through a lot. This was really quite fascinating.

“Yes. Of course, the Avatar of Greed has to have hundreds of familiars.” Satan replied with an ear roll.

“I think they just keep making new ones on their own.” Beel replied. “Not that he doesn’t just pick them up along the way. Seems he used to always come home with a new one when he went out.”

“That bird brain.” The demons all laugh at Belphie’s witty drawl. They then tell you that the rookery was in the western wing, in one of the towers there. You thank them and head that way. Interested now in seeing what all this familiar, rookery nonsense was about.

It took you awhile to make it to the tower; and even longer to climb up the stairs. When you managed to make it to the top you were amazed to see the room open up into a tiny forest of black trees. Barren trees twisting and coiling towards a sky they could never reach. While dozens of birds squawked and fluttered around the dark husks. It wasn’t a hundred, as Satan claimed, but it was certainly a lot.

“Guys! Calm down! I got enough for all of ya.” You hang back around the corner when you heard Mammon’s voice. Able to hear and see him but staying out of his line of vision. Not that he would have noticed you anyway. He seemed completely engrossed in the birds around him. “You better appreciate this, ok. I spent all that was left in my bank account on getting this fancy bird seed for ya guys. It’s organic and supposed to be really good for your feathers and stuff. Not that ya guys need it. You’re all just as handsome as the Great Mammon!”

You have to cover your mouth hard to stifle the laughter threatening to bubble out of your throat. Was he really talking to his birds?? Like one of those silly old bitties that chat for hours with their parakeets?? This was too funny!

“Well, at least you guys appreciate the nice things I do for ya. Those dunder-headed brothers of mine only see the bad stuff I do. I’m a demon! What do they expect?! They never see the good stuff I do, or like say anything nice about me. Just the ‘scummy older brother’. I get such a bad rap. Just like you guys.” Your hand came away from your mouth when you heard him say that. The soft, sort of sad smile on his lips breaking your heart as he softly nuzzled one of the bird’s heads with his finger. “It’s not so bad now though. With [Y/N] here. They’re nice to me. Least I don’t get dogpiled on so much when they’re around. They try to see the good in me all the time. They’re a good person. Makes me wanna try harder to be good.” He paused to pour some more food in another dish for his crows. One flying down from its top perch to land on his shoulder and eat directly out of his hand.  “Yeah, yeah, I know. Lost cause right? Sometimes I wanna tell ‘em they’re a really bad judge of character, but…most of the time…it’s just nice to have someone believe in ya. You know? Everyone else has just given up on me. ‘Cept for you guys of course. But [Y/N] keeps trying. I really love that about ‘em. I guess it’s why I love ‘em so much.”

Your hand flew up to your mouth again, only this time to cover up the gasp threatening to break free from it.

Mammon wouldn’t think you were such a ‘good person’ if he knew you were spying on him! Eavesdropping on his private conversation with him and his birds. “Who’s there?!”

You flinch when the demon barked out his accusatory claim out into the darkness, obviously having heard you, and you have to steal yourself for a moment before you skip out of your hiding place. “Just me!”

“[Y-Y-Y/N]!” Mammon stammered in alarm. His trademark glasses jostling on his nose as he jumped. The crow on his shoulder flying away. “H-How long have you been standing there?!”

“I just got here.” You telling him. Lying to spare him the embarrassment (or devastation that the one he admired so was a dirty rotten peeper). “I didn’t even know we had a rookery until now. Satan told me where to find it. Are these all yours?”

The demon still seemed rattled, frozen in fear almost at being discovered talking to his birds or what you might have over heard, but quickly coughed and righted himself. “I uh…Y-Yeah. Of course, they're mine. The Great Mammon needs an army of familiars to do his bidding. Being able to control this many just shows how awesome my power really is.”

You giggle a little and ask him to tell you all about his birds. Helping him feed and care for the rest; especially the baby birds. You never tell him that you overheard what he had said to his flock. You’ll keep his secret, just like the crows do.

[kiribaku-queen]

The Blood King and his Queen [3]

Pairing: Bakugou x reader

Romance, Angst, Drama

Word count: 2.3K

Summary:  From being a mere servant girl to marrying the scariest prince in existence, your world changed right before your eyes. Exchanging places with the princess, you knew, wasn’t going to be easy. But could you have found love on the way? Or was it never meant to be?

A/N: I hope you get just as much second-hand embarrassment from this episode as I did. Thank you for waiting and being patient! I hope this chapter was worth waiting for! Look forward to the very end for a special ending scene. Honestly, I was imagining it like an anime and its like an extra that they put in... idk please bare with me. I thought it was funny! Let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list! :) happy reading, loves!

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Dinner was eaten in silence. After your smart remark, you didn’t have anything more to say to each other. At least, you didn’t know what to say to him. Was it the best choice to be sassy with him? Probably not. But did he deserve it after being rude to your first? Absolutely.

You looked up from your meal to see Bakugou stuffing his face in an angry matter. Only, Bakugou wasn’t angry. He was just like that, little did you know.

The next morning was no different. Breakfast was eaten in silence. If it wasn’t for that small interaction you had with him the night prior, you would have sworn the mighty Blood Prince was mute. But Kirishima swore to you that the prince doesn’t usually act this way. You’d believe it when you see it.

You had joined Bakugou for breakfast and to your surprise, the table was full with dishes; dishes you recognized and dishes you’ve never seen before. Everything was neatly organized and pretty to look at. It was a sight that you’ve seen before. You don’t know why you’re shocked every time.

“Princess,” Bakugou’s deep voice greeted you out of nowhere. You were startled and confused to hear the prince greet you. Up until this point, he has never even greeted you let alone acknowledge you when you step into the room. Was he finally out of his ‘bad mood’, from what Kirishima told you?

“Your Highness,” you greeted him back with a small bow. Kirishima led you to your spot at the table. When you got situated in your seat, he moved like how he did the previous night and stood guard while you and your ‘fiancé’ enjoyed your meal.

The food presented to you, although foreign looking, looked mouthwatering. And when you looked closer, there were many dishes that you actually knew but only plated differently. So of course, you dug in. Like a princess, no doubt. Or, what you thought like what a princess would do. You took itty bitty bites with your best posture: back straight, chin high, careful not to spill any food on you. Since you don’t have many chances to talk to his highness, meal times are the only times that you could make an impression. Last nights endeavors didn’t seem like it made a lasting impression of hate. Looks like its time to bring it up a notch.

“Excuse me for the corniness, your highness,” you started. Bakugou glanced up. Once again those piercing red eyes made you hold your breath for a second. You raised a spoonful of the yellow corn that was on your plate and gave a cheeky smile. “But this is really a-maize-ing!”

Only the sound of your laughter echoed throughout the dining room. Kirishima’s jaw physical drops in shock. Meanwhile, Bakugou stopped chewing, stopped eating and stared at you.

“Lettuce celebrate to our engagement,” you continued to joke, stabbing your fork in the green leaf and held it high as if you were giving a toast. Bakugou’s face didn’t change one bit. But Kirishima looked mortified. He looked back between you and his angry-looking friend, afraid of how he would react to your not-so comical puns.

The longer he stared at you with his blank eyes, the more cold sweat you began to accumulate. The more cold sweat, the more nervous you became and thus, the more panicky you became. He wasn’t laughing at anything you were saying. You panicked. This was not the reaction you were hoping for. You had to say something. You gave him a nervous laugh again and frantically searched for the next best thing.

“Kiwi at least be friends?” you lifted up the delicate fruit with a glimmer of hope in your eyes. Again, no reaction. Kirishima wanted to cover his face so bad. He couldn’t take this torture anymore! But he had to remain professional. “No? Okay,” you gave up, your voice disappearing into a whisper. Pouting and looking down, you ate your meal quietly. You’ve never felt more embarrassed for yourself than in this moment. Heat rose to your cheeks and you wanted to hide away, never to be seen again.

The moment you looked down in embarrassment, Bakugou tried to stifle a laugh. The sides of his lips couldn’t help but curl up in a small smirk. He tried to eat something to calm him down, but as soon as his lips met the metal fork, his lips curled into a side smile that couldn’t be hid. But you were unable to see this side of Bakugou due to your mortification. Kirishima, on the other hand, raised a brow in amusement. This wasn’t a sight you could see every day.

“Kirishima,” Bakugou addressed the red-head. Straightening his posture, Kirishima put his hands beside his back and raised his chin high.

“Your highness,” Kirishima answered.

“Make sure the princess is ready by the time the horses are packed. We have a long trip ahead of us,” the prince announced and was about to leave, but not before you stood up to stop him.

“Trip? Where are we going?” you asked in a frantic matter. There was a moment’s pause.

“As my queen-to-be, you should know the kingdom, no?” he glanced back. This time, his eyes were not so aggressive. There was amusement and a hint of a challenge, as if he was trying to challenge you. The prince made his way out of the dining hall and back to this residence.

 After taking you back to your room to get ready for your trip around the kingdom, Kirishima made a pitstop at the prince’s quarters to pay visit.

“I saw that,” Kirishima commented, relaxing the moment the door closed behind him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Bakugou tried to brush it off, but he knows that he’s been caught.

“I’ve never seen you like that around a princess, before. You like her?” Kirishima teased. Bakugou let out a breathy smirk.

“She’s interesting, that’s for sure,” he admit.

“I mean, what was she saying out there? Out of character for a princess, right?” Kirishima finally let out a laugh.

“So out of character that it was funny,” Bakugou, too, let out a small laugh. A moment of laughter passed and Kirishima got serious.

“You think she’s the one you’re looking for?” he asked. But Bakugou couldn’t say for sure.

“We’ll find out after this trip, won’t we?” Bakugou grabbed his iconic cape, draped it over his shoulders and powerfully made his way to the front entrance.

By the time that you were finished getting ready, you made your way to where Bakugou and a group of soldiers was getting geared up. You were dressed in a lighter, more fit for travel, dress. If you moved, the dress wouldn’t be in your way. Although white, your servants packed you many more dresses just like the one you were wearing. Your hair was flowing naturally down your face, leaving an ethereal, fairy-like appearance.  

Bakugou has brought several soldiers along for the trip, all either carrying a box, securing it on the cart, or making sure that all the materials are present. Insides the boxes ranged from a variety of things: food to wood to medicine supplies. You weren’t sure why you need so many things, but you thought it was for safe precautions? Bring more so you don’t worry about it.

“Your highness, everything has been prepared,” Kirishima announced, saluting to his highness. Bakugou stood tall with his signature glare that didn’t seem to faze Kirishima at all.

“Double check?”

“Yes, your highness.”

“We have extra food and clothing?”

“Yes, your highness.”

“The tent is packed?”

“Yes, your highness.”

“Weapons are secured?”

“Yes, your highness.” Bakugou flared his nostrils and nodded his head.

“Good man. Let’s head out!” he bellowed. On cue, all of the soldiers that were coming were hopping on their horses. You looked around nervously. You had never ridden a horse before, let alone seen one in person. Did they expect you to know to ride one? But there was no extra horse for you. You were about to ask Kirishima but then, a hand is reached out to you. Turning around, you see the Blood Prince, himself, giving you his hand.

“My lady,” he gently grabbed the tips of your fingers, bringing them to his lips. His gaze never leaving yours for a second. You were expecting him to kiss your hand, but instead, he gently laid his lips on top of his thumb where it rested between his lips and your fingers. Heat rushed to your cheeks and you couldn’t stop the shocked expression that was blatant on your face.

The prince helped you on the horse but what you weren’t expecting was him to hop on the same horse right behind you. His presence closer than what you have wanted in such a short amount of time. His arms reached around your waist to grab the ropes, unexpectedly pulling you closer to his chest.

Sitting in front of him, you were as stiff as a board. You couldn’t relax your shoulders because if you did, you would be resting against his body. The beginning of the ride was met in silence. No talking was happening, not even among his solders. Talk about an awkward trip. You hoped it wasn’t going to be like this the entire trip. You would be so miserable.

It took a while to escape the palace grounds, but once you did, you were surprised by how beautifully green and luscious the scenery ahead of you was. The sight bestowed upon you was nothing like your imagination. From the rumors, if the prince was that bad of a person, then surely his kingdom would portray that same image: full of poverty, death, killing, blood. But no. His kingdom was thriving.

In order to continue on with the trip, you and your crew had to pass by the local town. The people looked content and happy. They were flourishing! There were many stands selling essentials such as clothing and food. Others were selling odd objects foreign to you. The smell of meat grilling and sweets filled your noise. Kids were running around without a care in the world. There was so much going on that you didn’t know what to focus your eyes on.

Bakugou happened to look down at you, only to see your eyes wide with excitement and wonder. Your head twisted left and ride to grasp the whole world around you. Bakugou looked at you and back at what your eyes were focused on. Behind you, he had signaled his soldiers to halt and move to the side. But you had noticed immediately.

“Why are we stopping?” you asked, curiously.

“One of these idiots forgot something.” Bakugou made up on the fly.

“But we didn’t forget anything,” the soldier with electric blonde hair commented, so quietly that you couldn’t overhear him. Kirishima just nudged him in the gut to shut him up. “Would you like to explore with me while they get it taken care of?” Bakugou asked. You were surprised but intrigued by his question. This was probably the only time in your whole life that you could explore in such a manner. You had to take advantage while you could.

“Please,” you say.

And just like that you looked like a child exploring the world for the first time. And really, that’s what it was. All your life, you served the princess. Your earliest memories were of the palace. You never knew what it was like outside the palace. Everything fascinated you: the food, the smells, the sights, the clothes, the jewelry, the accessories, the people. How could you not know about any of this?

Bakugou watched you closely as you explored on your own and smiled to himself. He was not expecting the princess to act like such a kid.

“You must never get out much in your kingdom,” he comments. You look at him with a shy smile.

“Was it that obvious?”

“Maybe just a little,” he jokes. Your shy smile turns in a more comfortable, laid back laugh.

“I’ve never been outside the palace walls. It’s a first for me,” you say. You weren’t wrong. You were speaking for yourself, but you’re sure the real princess was able to explore her kingdom.

“Now that won’t do. Get whatever you want, my treat,” Bakugou offers to you. Your eyes up once again like a kid. Bakugou gives you his head of approval and now your options were opened like you never imagined. Anything you wanted? What did you even want? You felt like just looking was a treat for you. You were about to decline until the sight of the street food caught your attention. You got a closer look and the smell just enticed you immediately.

From there, it was nonstop to discovering new foods. You tried all these sweet that you didn’t know existed. It moved from food to trying on luxurious clothing and feeling fabrics that was foreign on your skin.

You were following Bakugou around blatantly. He was commenting on some things to help educate you better. But your eyes were so easily distracted. Due to the overflow of people, if you didn’t pay attention, you could easily get lost within the crowd. Unlucky for you, the moment you looked away, the prince had already disappeared from your vision. Panic ensued in you. No matter where you turned your head, you couldn’t see that tall, blonde anywhere.

“Bakugou!” you reached out, terrified. Thank god Bakugou has good ears. The instant you called his name, he was already looking back for you. You reached out and grabbed his forearm, tightly, determined not to let go. Your actions caused Bakugou to become flustered.

“Don’t get lost,” he scolded. Idiot¸ he thought while covering his mouth and looked away. He wanted to hide the very clear blush that was on his cheeks.

A/N: As always, I would love to know your thoughts! The adventure officially begins now! If you would still like to be tagged for future chapters, please let me know! They are always open!

Spoiler! Next chapter will make your heart go doki-doki <3

Tagged: @superblyspeedydragon​ @melasnchz-things​ @animexholic​ @bkgwrites​ @sam-i-am-1025​ @apexqueenie​ @katsukibabe​ @germfart3​ @tspice283​ @angie-1306​ @bakugous-trauma​ @bakugousmrs​

After scene credits:

“Oi, you seeing what I’m seeing?” Kaminari, one of the soldiers chosen to tag along, observed. Kaminari and Kirishima were resting on top of the roofs, getting a clear view of you and the prince.

“Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Kaminari,” Kirishima rubbed the temples of his head. Kaminari pouted and continued to drink out of his canteen.

“I’m just saying,” he mumbled, sadly.

[come-on-shitty-boys]

//fatherhood headcannons//

Characters: Kuroo Tetsurou / Bokuto Koutarou / Daishou Suguru

Warnings: none 

Word Count: 1.7K (~550 a piece)

Notes: don’t come for me and my self-indulgence. Also >:C if you’re of age and living in the United States, go fucking vote.  i am not asking. 

Kuroo Tetsurou

He goes into this whole fatherhood thing with complete and utter confidence.  Kuroo Tetsurou is convinced that he doesn’t need to have a single parenting book.  How hard can it be?

It’s all just making sure his kid doesn’t die, right? R I G H T?

He tries really hard to understand all of your discomforts during the pregnancy, but wowowow he’s bad at it.  You were complaining that your feet were sore and he just looked at you weird.  You had just gotten out of bed?  How did your feet already hurt?  Your back hurts? How? You’re laying down?

He recognizes that you’re in discomfort and he, of course, doesn’t look past that.  He’s going to do whatever he needs to do to ensure your comfort, but he just struggles to comprehend it.

I promise that Kuroo was so calm and cool and collected throughout the entire pregnancy and honestly, even during delivery, he was there to tell you how great you were doing, holding your hand, letting you crush his fingers in your tight grip.  He would pat your head and occasionally give you little kisses on your temple.

But when the nurse asks if he wants to hold his new little girl and places her in his arms, oh he’s crying.  He doesn’t even realize that he’s crying until he feels the tears stream down his cheeks.

It was in the following weeks that he realized just how hard this whole parenting thing would be.  Sleep?  Kuroo didn’t know her.  The baby religiously started crying every night at 2:27 a.m. and it would take nearly an hour to get her to fall back asleep.  By the time that hour passed, he was already back to being wide awake and would just lay in bed, unable to fall back asleep for hours.  

The first time he ever had to change a diaper, he had to pull up a YouTube video to figure it out, but he’s not about to tell you that.  

He has no idea how to dad, but Kuroo ends up being a really incredible father.  While he may be lacking in the basic skills like knowing the correct formula temperature or how to properly hold his daughter, he makes up for it with his constant companionship.  

You’ve walked in on him in the nursery so many times.  He’s really not even doing anything.  He’s just leaning against the crib, running his fingers across his little girl’s skin, still not believing that this is real and that that little baby is his, something that he helped create.  Oh, it just makes him so soft to think about.   He talks real quietly to her, telling her about his day, like she has any idea what he’s saying, but he still smiles so wide when she looks at him.

His little girl is his entire world and I just know that he’s an incredibly protective father.  He knows that the world is a scary place and he wants his daughter to be able to grow up having the best life possible, even if it is difficult.

Bokuto Koutarou

It was an accident.  It was 100% an accident.  But, the absolute joy that lit up his features when you told him your happy news, well, you don’t think you had ever seen him smile so wide.  He had picked you up to spin you around and covered your face in kisses.  Bokuto had set you down and immediately squatted down to place a kiss on your non-existent baby bump, telling his little baby how excited he was to be their papa.

Bokuto does prepare, well, at least a little. He owns one book, but he has read it cover to cover.  When he was reading through it, he would stop at something that he found particularly interesting and show it to you.

He didn’t really know how best to take care of you, but he tried his best!  He would rub your shoulders or feet when you asked.  He would make dinner after practice.  He is absolutely running to the store in the middle of the night because you had a sudden craving for Cheetos and vanilla ice cream.  Bokuto thought it was best not to ask what the hell you were doing when you proceeded to dip the Cheetos in the ice cream.

Bokuto forces you on walks.  He read in that one pregnancy book that walks can help induce labor, so in the time leading up to the due date, Bokuto was taking you on strolls around the block multiple times a day.  

But, he gets really busy with MSBY ;-; like. . . a lot.  He wants to be there every step of the way, but he just can’t.  Even after the baby was born, it seemed like there was rarely a day off for him to just spend with you and the baby.

Nothing hurt more than seeing the video of his little boy taking his first steps, knowing that he wasn’t even there to see it for himself because he was stuck on a bus in another city for a game.

This boy B R A G S about his kid all the time.  Sakusa might just beat his ass if he has to hear Bokuto coo about his son one more time.  

Games that happen at home are Bokuto’s favorites because he knows that whenever he looks up into the stands, you’ll be there, the baby in your arms, a tiny black knit hat with gold detailing pulled over his head.  It always made his heart so warm and he seemed to always be on top of his game just so he could secure a win quicker.  He just wanted to rush to you and cradle his little one in his arms.

He likes to toss his little bean up into the air, but he has absolutely bonked his son’s head on the ceiling and then proceeded to fail to catch him because he was so in shock that he just hit his son’s head on the ceiling.  Insert one (1) bokuto koutarou suddenly regretting every life decision that he has ever made.  

Surprisingly, he’s a really good parent?  He understands the balance between being caring and supportive, but also having a firm hand on discipline.  He isn’t much for punishments, because he’s going to feel bad, but he won’t hesitate to sit his son down and have a talk if he needs to.  

God Bokuto is such a good dad please i’m so soft i just know that he would sob his eyes out the minute the baby is on its way

Daishou Suguru

please i don’t even want children, but i would make an exception for daishou suguru

Suguru is so?? stupidly?? prepared?? 

Like the two of you decided that you wanted to have a baby and this man went to the bookstore and asked one of the workers which pregnancy books were the best.  The poor high school student had no idea

He took notes and was just constantly studying up on things.  You’d think he was back in university again with how much he poured himself over these books.  

While Daishou may have all of the technical stuff down like knowing the exact female reproductive anatomy and how it all works to produce the baby and he can definitely change a diaper with his eyes closed by now, but-

When the time came to put together a nursery- oh the boy was lost.  He had no idea what to do.  He’d never built a crib before.  He wasn’t really sure why he was expecting it to just unfold or magically form together when he took it out of the box, but now he was just sitting in the middle of the floor, surrounded by bits and pieces of a baby crib, pouring over the instructions, only to get more confused.

Please go sit with him in his time of need.  He’ll rest his head on your shoulder and rub tiny circles over your bump.  

Suguru probably jumped a foot in the air when he felt that itty bitty kick against his hand.  It took him by complete surprise and his eyes were as wide as saucers, but this really slow smile took over his face and you don’t think you had ever seen him so happy, a complete smiling and laughing mess.

He takes the best care of you b y e 

Morning sickness?  He’s right there to pull your hair away from your face and get you a glass of water.  

Too bad he spent all this time looking up information on the actual pregnancy and had no idea what to expect for actual childbirth.  Overnight bag?  He said, “How long does this take?”  He had no idea what to do during delivery.  His dumbass just stood there until you demanded that he give you his hand and definitely screamed when you nearly crushed his bones in an absolute death grip, nails digging painfully into the back of his hand, but who was he to object.  He wasn’t the one pushing a child out of his body.

Oh, did I say child?  Try children.  Suguru nearly fainted when the nurse said that there was “one more.”  He didn’t remember seeing a second little peanut on the ultrasound, but maybe he just forgot in the overwhelming panic of the moment?

He was so good all throughout the pregnancy, but the minute the kids are born?  It’s like he completely forgot everything that he read over the past nine months, but the softness in his eyes and the gentle smile on his lips the very first time he got to hold his kid?  It made it all worth it.  He didn’t know that it was possible to love someone so quickly, but he looked at the faces of his newborn children and he couldn’t have been happier.

Daishou has fallen asleep in the nursery chair more than once when he was up with the babies.  You’d get up to see what was taking so long, only to find him leaned back, his head lolled to the side, two tiny bundles held securely to his chest.

In conclusion.  I love daishou suguru and he would be a really good dad once he figured it all out

{Taglist: @moncymonce​ @nicka-nell​ @celosiiaa​ @kuronekomama​ @lovinnoya​ and @nekxrizawa​ @boosyboo9206​ bc you both got me thinking about them as d a d s and now i can’t get it out of my head onyx please take this as a bribe to receive the daishou suguru hip dermal edit you made i need it}

[stitch1830]

hey stitch, I have some hcs(potential fic prompts?) 1.) Kanto looks after baby Lin(2-4 months old?) this time while Toph goes back to work. She doesn't come back. ~ 2.) Lin has a heart-to-heart talk about her extreme shyness with both her parents~ 3.) Kanto(or any person in the gaang) ties Lin's hair~ 4.) Kanto & Toph realize Lin is going blind due to genetics and they have to tell her~ 5.) Lao & Poppy tell stories to Lin about her mother when she was young~ 6.) Toph & Kanto witness Lin's firsts

Continued from other ask:

ran out of characters, srry im bthering u~ 7.) Toph and Kanto witness a boy confess to their little girl only to see that she sees him as a friend(not Tenzin btw) 8.) The Gaang and their kids watch a horror movie 9.) Kya and Izumi want to play with Aunt Toph's loong hair 10.) Katara can't understand how the beifong girls are not afraid of bugs 11.) Lin sees her parents kissing after a hard day at work 12.) Kanto & Toph find Lin fainted on the floor 13.) same as above, except switch Toph and Lin

Hi Anon, thank you for the ask! And don't worry, feel free to send as many asks as you'd like! Sometimes it just takes me a while to get to stuff.

And these are really cool headcanons/fic prompts! I have them saved, so maybe intermittently I'll post some ficlets, but for now, I'll just respond to each HC if that's okay! If you want a particular ficlet first, lemme know! :)

1.) Okay ANGST. That would be so heartbreaking if Toph dies or if she's just missing. Like, I imagine Kanto sets Lin down in a high chair or puts her down for bed, and when he opens the door, he's so glad he's not holding her because he would've dropped her. Kanto would be absolutely devastated. Toph is everything to that man, and he'd be inconsolable.

2.) That would be so sweet! Definitely a bit sad, I mean, imagine what it took for her to admit that to her parents. But then when they tell her they love and support her, the world feels a little less scary and heavy for Lin. She's got a great support system behind her that will have her back always.

3.) A very cute idea! I feel like both Toph and Kanto take care of their hair really well when the have the time and ability to do so, so I think it would be adorable if Kanto took the time to learn how to do his baby girl's hair.

4.) Oh. My goodness. THAT'S SO SAD. Toph would feel like it's her fault, Kanto would try to be the reassuring voice to both Toph and Lin, and Lin perhaps is in a bit of denial. I think eventually, the three of them are able to get through this change, and Toph would be Lin's biggest advocate and support, showing her how to navigate the world through seismic sense and would be someone that can relate on that sense. Kanto I think would already be pretty aware of how they perceive the world and would be encouraging. So while I think overall they'd be fine, I think that initial conversation would be rough.

5.) Yes! Gimme good grandparents Lao and Poppy :) I really like the idea that Lao and Poppy are in their daughter's life, so the HC's where they're good grandparents is so sweet.

6.) Any firsts that Lin accomplishes are like... A HUGE accomplishment and celebration. Kanto gets to see Lin's first smile (Toph eventually gets to trace her smile), and Toph gets Lin to laugh. Lin walks to some random object which annoys them because they were competing for that one, but they're still so excited to see her walking. And first earthbending experience was once of the greatest feelings in the world for the both of them.

7.) Ooooh very interesting! I have a feeling before Kanto knew that Lin only liked the boy as a friend, he'd very much be Protective Dad!Kanto, so that would be kind of funny. And just as he's about to say something to the kids, crisis averted and he's all shocked and like... 0_o

8.) No thoughts head empty just Kanto whispering the entire film into Toph's ear quietly but loud enough for her to understand. And every now and again he just whispers sweet compliments and sayings to her.

9.) I think this would be fun if Toph was stuck at home because she's pregnant and so Kya and Izumi have her cornered and she has no choice but to let them play with her hair haha!

10.) We actually have this HC where Kanto is afraid of bugs too, so it would be HILARIOUS if the Beifong girls are just like "It's just an itty bitty bug!" Kanto and Katara are both like "FUCK NO GET THEM OUT OF MY FACE GAH."

11.) Lin would definitely stick out her tongue and yell "Gross!" but Toph and Kanto just tease her for it as they hold onto each other.

12.) I mean, at any age, Toph and Kanto would be mortified, so they'd just freak out and try to wake her. I can see Toph elevating Lin's head as Kanto gets help and whatnot. They don't sleep for days after it.

13.) Again, I think both Kanto and LIn would freak out, but Kanto would tell Lin to go get help as he holds Toph and tries to wake her. Kind of depends on how old Lin is, but I think she'd be scared and confused because Mama is the toughest person she knows. Why did she faint? I can see her having nightmares about that afterwards.

Okay! I think those are all the ideas, and they're all great, Anon! I think I should have some time to write a few things about these, but let me know if there's one you wanna see written first! Thank you again for the ask, and I hope you have a great day!

......

Send me asks about ATLA, or anything, really! :D

[prepnursey]

10,11,15,and 29 for the ask game? ~dexsbruins

Thanks for asking! Questions are from this post

10. How do you stay motivated to finish what you’ve started?

Great question, honestly. Most of my published fic has been created as either part of fandom theme weeks (and it's been short oneshots) so there's been the pressure to finish and post the thing during that day, or as a part of a big bang event, so someone quite literally gave me a schedule and told me when I had to be done.

Still, I've got a chaptered fic I haven't updated in a year, and my newest fic sat half-completed for a while when I didn't even think about it. I write because it's fun, but I think the final push to get something polished enough that I want to show it to people is at least partially caused by the desire to get attention. Who doesn't like seeing nice tumblr tags or enthusiastic ao3 comments?

11. What’s your longest fanfic?

That would be She knows herself (and that's enough), my technically canon-compliant big bang fic about Whiskey being a trans woman, dating Tango and Foxtrot and going to the NHL.

This fic is my baby, I had a wonderful time writing it (by which I mean projecting onto Whiskey) and honestly I think about it approximately ten times a week

15. OCs or no OCs?

My fics have their fair bit of OCs, but I'm more in my comfort zone writing the inner landscapes of characters I know and understand well, so the OCs are very much there to move the plot, rather than to have rich inner lives of their own.

29. What’s more difficult? Fanfics or original work?

Hmm, both have their difficulties. I feel like my strength as a writer (or maybe just what I feel most comfortable doing) is writing characters' thoughts (and describing nature. i love talking about forests and wetlands), but I'm not really great at developing characters and giving them distinct personalities.

In original fiction it's easier to get around these issues, I can create characters that are easy for me to write and just write them walking around a town experiencing gay angst and thinking in melodramatic metaphors (I should finish this story, it slaps but I get sad every time I read it because the main character's so stuck! but then he starts flirting with a guy and it's not going anywhere because I don't know how to write it!)

In fanfic I avoid characters who I have difficulty with, I have so many ideas for fics with a lot of Bitty in them, but I don't know if I'll ever write them because his speech patterns are so difficult to get right! But on the other hand having those canon personalities helps me distinguish characters, even if they all tend closer to my style of introspective and sort of serious. I think Tango is a great example of this, I probably wouldn't put a character like him into my original writing, but in fanfic I can sort of write his canon personality, so it creates an interesting contrast with Whiskey, who very much has the exact same personality as most of the main characters in my original writing.

I don't think it really contributes to the difficulty that much, but I want to mention that I write fanfic in English, while my original fiction is in Finnish. I think what I write in both of them plays to my strengths, because writing natural-sounding dialogue is absolutely horrible in Finnish because of how different spoken and written Finnish are, but I have a bigger vocabulary for waxing poetic about trees in Finnish. (although poetic might be a bit misleading, since I write poetry in both languages) ((well okay the nature poems are all in finnish, but i write notes app poetry about gender and family and everything in whichever language the idea comes to mind in))

So in conclusion, I really can't say which one is easier, but they are pretty different for me!

[whoacanada]

I can hardly choose, but I'm a sucker for identity porn and/or supernatural shenanigans (watch this turn out to be a gay Jack lookalike being media trash in Vegas.) Doppelgänger AU?

Actually, this is the overarching file for my habs!jack au! if you’ve been following me for a million years, this started as a halloween prompt where Jack meets a ‘perfect’ version of himself and that double tries to kill him and take his place. Fun right? That evolved into the much more stable habs!jack au — but the homicidal drama of the original lives on.

There’s seriously about 70k of various versions of this au floating around on my computer. Once I throttled back the murder and started thinking about the practical applications of a Jack that ended up playing for the Habs and an Eric that kept skating, things just kind of steamrolled. Unfortunately this led away from my main goal of writing a story where Jack confronts a version of himself that has ‘succeeded’ and has to deal with the emotional fallout, and turned more into a deep character study of what would have happened to Jack Zimmermann if he’d never truly gotten the support he needed to overcome his vices.

Of course, now the beast of the project is editing because there are so many raw versions I’ve tweaked a little here and there. Supportive Bob vs. Distant Father. Substance Abuse vs. Alcoholism. A dozen different takes on how Jack could crater a secret relationship with Bitty (usually sacrificing Bitty’s public image to save Jack’s). 

It’s definitely my favorite project and it’s almost too big, now to be stitched into a Frankenstein’s monster of a fic, but I’m trying. In the interim, here’s version one from all the way back in 2017:

Bitty looks up and finds Zimms watching him intently, eyes pale as ice chips, gaze sharp and calculating. “You’re beautiful,” he says coldly. “You’re beautiful, he’s out, and you’re his.”

A shiver runs up Bitty’s spine, because the other man’s fingers are twitching and ‘beautiful’ doesn’t sound like a compliment; not to this Jack. However, his tone is as foreign as it is familiar, reminding Bitty of his freshman year and a Jack Zimmermann who couldn’t seem to process his emotions.

"I need your help to understand because I think you’re why I'm here."

“I am?” Bitty swallows, startling when he realizes he’s backed himself against the counter. In a heartbeat there are hands on his neck, a pair of recognizable lips hot against the curve of his cheek.

“I could have given him everything,” Zimms whispers, softly enough that the stubble catching on Bitty’s cheek feels like a threat, “You don’t even know, do you? You’d never have to work a day in your life.”

“I have everything I want,” Bitty presses a firm hand to Zimms’ chest though the action does nothing to dislodge the larger man. “I don’t need his money, or yours. I’m happy.”

This isn’t the answer Zimmermann wants.

“No, see, you think you’re happy, because you don’t know anything else,” Bitty flinches when Zimms rests his cheek against the top of his head. “You don't even know what you could be." 

“That’s enough,” Bitty gets his palm against Zimms’ ribcage, the sensitive spot left over from an injury in Juniors, and shoves, hard. Zimms stumbles back with a breathless curse, and refocuses on Bitty with a wounded expression.

“Please,” he begs. “I want to know what I’m missing, what I did wrong — why does he get to have you and I don't?”

The version of Jack Zimmermann with three Stanley Cups and a substance abuse problem currently cornering Bitty in his own damn kitchen does not deserve affection. Not if this is what it does to him.

Bitty's rearing up for a fight when a thought stops him cold: "Wait, do you know me?"

Of course this is the moment Bitty's true Jack steps in from off the balcony with an excited flourish. 

"Papa had a few ideas on how to resolve this and he's heading to the airport now. He should be here in a few hours."

Beside Bitty, Zimms stiffens.

“You called Bob?”

.

Bob moves in for a hug, or a handshake, or something, and Zimms leans away from the touch, sliding back a few inches. Bob's smile falters and Zimms seems to immediately realize what he's done and laughs it off. 

"Sorry, sorry, just, ah, worried about making this worse," Zimmermann stumbles, clapping his hands together to wring his wrists.

"Of course, of course," Bob says cautiously, "better safe than sorry, eh?"

Bitty leans into Jack's side and whispers, "What just happened?"

“I don’t know.”

.

Jack frowns, his expression too harsh for Bitty’s liking, and he says something hurried, accusatory, in a language Bitty still hasn’t quite learned to speak. He catches Bob’s name, the Canadiens, and possibly something about leadership? No, wait, it’s  ‘management’— Then Jack scrubs a hand through his hair and paces like he wants to be angry but can’t find the energy. Bob isn’t doing much of anything but he’s pale and there’s an unfamiliar furrow between his eyebrows.

Jack notices Bitty staring and explains, carefully, in English, “The Canadiens asked my father to be the GM in 2009 — he turned it down when I dropped out of the draft.”

It takes a moment for Bitty to understand the issue at hand, but when he gets it, the realization comes with an unfriendly twist of concern in his gut. 

“Zimms plays for Montreal — isn’t that a conflict of interest?”

“That’s not the point,” Jack stalls out, trying to find the right words and failing long enough that Bob takes the reigns. 

“It took a lot to make me change my priorities when it came to my legacy, my family,” his father’s voice is thick with regret. “If those events didn’t happen, the other, ah, me, is still chasing glory.”

Jack leans in, nudging his father with a sympathetic shoulder, and Bob knocks him back with a tight, wavering smile, clearly unable to continue. There’s a lot of history here, more than Jack ever thought he’d need to share because most of it had been buried and forgotten. Or so they’d thought.

It’s Jack’s turn to pick up the thread of the conversation, at least while his father pulls himself together. “If Zimms is playing for the Habs —” he starts, drawing Bitty’s attention away from the hockey legend tying himself in knots, “— and his father is the GM, he’s not getting the support he needs. It’s not possible.”

[sobdasha]

had a few more thoughts about the Honda family

and all the Souma parallels.

(and by “a few” I apparently meant “a lot”, I did not mean to write this many pages)

In the other post I’d made a comment about how Katsuya’s romance with Kyouko, severe age difference issues aside, is just plain pathetic, a point which I believe to be Upheld by canon. And I wanted to talk more about that, the implications of that, and how that further builds the Akito and Tohru parallel. And also, Why Tohru Can’t Love Her Mom And Kyou At The Same Time.

The ideal, in Fruits Basket, is that when you make a connection with one person who loves you and sees you, this will enable you to make further connections with the people around you. Tohru does a whole heck of a lot of this; for one example, see Yuki explaining this to Kisa in the liking-yourself speech. Yuki does some of this for bitty Haru and later for Machi. Kazuma does this for Kyou. And so on and so forth. The positive experiences are meant to have a ripple effect.

It’s important to be grateful for what you have (Yuki and Machi’s “just one person would be enough” scene), but it’s human to crave more than that (Kyouko telling Saki that it’s probably normal to want other people to accept you even if you already have a loving and supportive family). It is important to crave more than that.

This was, in fact, the entire point of the curse. God meets cat. Cat’s companionship allows god to form connections with other animals. Cat is dying and god decides that 13 friends is the perfect number of friends and starts the reincarnation cycle. Cat says, “god you never once left your house. I wanted to see you go down and make friends with the humans. I wanted to see you experience the world and laugh in the sunlight. God you made 13 new friends but you’re still lonely and closing yourself off to the world forever, this is wrong and I am sad.” The banquets were supposed to be the gateway drug of friendship and meaningful connections, not the place where 14 souls stagnated alone and isolated until it became a curse.

That same wrongness happens in Ren and Akira’s relationship, where finally making a connection with one person who loves you and sees you made their world smaller and smaller. It wasn’t healthy, probably because 1) they remained in a toxic environment, 2) Kureno implies that Ren has mental health issues and I assume those existed prior to Akira’s death and were exacerbated, rather than created by, her grief; also I can’t imagine she actually came from a non-toxic family herself, and 3) Akira’s “you’re going to die an early death and the only thing we need from you first is a successor” trauma. Akira never found anyone other than Ren who understood how upset he was. Ren never formed a relationship with anyone other than Akira, partly because she was now trapped in a toxic family that despised everything about her and she refused to Prove Them Right by leaving. They both viewed their child as an object rather than a person; Akira seeing proof that he and Ren were definitely OTP and the Souma could go shove it, and Ren seeing a Rival.

I have a memory that I said at some point—probably in a Talking About Shigure post—that Kyouko helps Katsuya connect with other people. But this, I think, is not really true. I was thinking of how Kyouko helps bridge the non-relationship between Katsuya and his father. But that’s just one person.

Really, Katsuya and Kyouko are more like Akira and Ren.

Marrying-someone-who-just-graduated-ninth-grade aside, the fact that Katsuya and Kyouko meet is genuinely a good thing. Katsuya finally connects with the humanity in another person. Kyouko is finally cared about as a person. Their misanthropic-jackass-and-abandoned-cat relationship improves both of them, probably. Their connection is definitely the reason Kyouko decides to go to high school and quit her gang. It’s harder to tell with Katsuya, but you could argue that seeing Kyouko struggling and fighting and screaming against the world, as honest about her joy as she is about her loneliness-channeled-into-rage, causes Katsuya to say screw it and pursue the career in pharmacy that he’s interested in, instead of fake-politely submitting to the world’s expectations and internally resenting and disdaining everyone around him.

Katsuya softens in his relationship with his father. Both Katsuya and Kyouko see their child as a person in her own right, Tohru, rather than an object. Katsuya, in fact, is adamant about that fact when Kyouko is terrified of her pregnancy—that they can treat their baby as her own person, and if they aren’t perfect parents and they hurt their child, they’ll apologize—because Tohru is a person and an equal—and admit that what they did was wrong and why it’s wrong. They’ll treat Tohru with the respect they should have gotten all along.

But I don’t think it ever goes any farther than that. Like god, the Honda family becomes more and more isolated.

Does Katsuya make any work friends? We don’t really get a complete view of their lives, because Takaya is one person who can only do so much and space is very precious, so we only see what’s crucial to the story. But I would be really surprised to find that Katsuya had made any close friends outside of Kyouko. I honestly doubt that he has anything more than casual work acquaintances. (In contrast, we repeatedly see Kyou together with the two guys who got names in the anime that I forgot in his class; his friendship with them doesn’t get explored much in the manga, presumably because it doesn’t do any heavy lifting for his character development, but Kyou clearly has casual friends who seek him out and whom he doesn’t mind being with. See also the way Saki and Arisa also interact with those guys as a part of the group, while Tohru really only interacts with Saki and Arisa or the Souma.)

And I don’t think Kyouko fares any better. Does she have any close friends, other than her husband and daughter? Does she make friends at work? I don’t know what kind of work Kyouko does, and if she would have the opportunity to take her breaks socializing with coworkers. But it appears she spends her work breaks in an abandoned area socializing with a first or second grader. Kyou is the only person, as far as we know, that mid-twenties Kyouko can start to open up to. She doesn’t get all the way there—Kyou doesn’t connect the dots until much later—but it’s the closest she comes to talking about how she hurt Tohru after Katsuya died.

Where are the family friends? It doesn’t strike me as weird that the Honda family doesn’t have them, because I have also grown up in a poorly socialized household, but even I am used to running into unfamiliar people in public who explain that they know my mom or dad. I’m pretty sure family friends are a normal thing, and that’s how you get aunts and uncles that aren’t related to you, much in the same way that I’m pretty sure it’s normal to be friends with your cousins (especially if they’re in a similar age range and live nearby) and it is very common for grandparents to bring grandchildren with them to the grocery store because the grandchildren are staying over and they’re having a relationship.

Where is anyone but the Honda family at at Kyouko’s funeral? Kyouko made friends with Arisa and Saki, but did she ever make friends with Saki’s parents? Where are Saki’s loving and supportive mother and father and grandmother when the Honda family is arguing about who has to take on the burden of Tohru? Where are they, if they knew of the bad blood between Kyouko and the Honda family (and the disinheritance between Kyouko and the Katsunuma family), to sweep over Tohru’s protestations and tell her that it will all be fine, they’ll make it work out (they packed up and moved house for Saki, after all), it’s not Tohru’s job to worry about being a burden, it’s the job of people who love her to take care of her?

It can be both “because of the necessity of the plot” and “because they didn’t know.”

Tohru inherits this small, isolated world. And because of the trauma of being abandoned by her grieving, depressed, absolutely-not-coping mother, Tohru picks up on that Souma curse mentality. Tohru’s dad left, and Tohru’s dad tried to take her mom with her, leaving her with no one but Grandpa (who is not intimately part of their world but is not fully outside it either). Tohru’s dad is now a Rival. Tohru’s dad is now an Outsider. Clearly, a bond with an Outsider weakens the True Bond that Tohru had with Kyouko. Clearly, Tohru’s dad is Not Needed (because the other alternative is that Tohru is Not Needed). Clearly, only one of them can have Kyouko.

And it’s going to be Tohru.

Tohru picks up Katsuya’s fake-polite speech, equally disingenuously but from the opposite direction (ie, Katsuya was fake-polite to be an asshole, and Tohru is genuinely polite but faking the words). Tohru is pretty sure this is a form of wicked manipulation (much like Yuki is convinced that “be kind unto others as you would have them be kind unto you” is a form of wicked manipulation). Tohru keeps up with it anyway. Kyouko, as Kyou suggests, was probably comforted by this; rather than going full Akira “you exist to prove that I lived and loved a woman”, seeing Katsuya’s mannerisms in Tohru reminds her that her husband did exist without having to erase Tohru as a person. Kyouko does a lot of growing on her own, but with no support system and no friends outside the family and being fresh-out-of-college age, it’s not surprising that she fails to talk with Tohru about this, and tell Tohru that she knows why Tohru’s doing this, she knows how she hurt Tohru and it was wrong, you don’t have to do this anymore. This is a hurt between them, a grief, that they never talk about, even though they both know it’s there and Kyouko tries to smother it with love and affection and Tohru tries to shut it up in a box of denial.

Tohru’s world is now just Tohru and Kyouko. Tohru doesn’t make any friends until middle school. We know she gets bullied and doesn’t fit in throughout her entire school life. She is a riceball in a fruits basket and probably just manages to scrape by in conformity culture. When she does make her first friends, Arisa and Saki don’t count as Outsiders who compromise Tohru’s bond with her mom because Arisa and Saki are also misfits on the fringe. They are outcasts Tohru can bring into the circle. They are all monsters together, like the cursed Soumas (the only reason no one refers to Akito as a monster to her face, the way they do the rest of the Zodiac, probably has less to do with the fact that Akito doesn’t transform and more to do with the fact that Akito being in a position of power is useful for their own ends, so best not to undermine the head of the family by pointing the whole monster thing out).

And then Tohru’s mom dies.

Tohru isn’t god and she can’t make an eternal banquet. Tohru doesn’t know how to process her grief and how not to fall to pieces. Tohru knows how to empathize with other people, but she doesn’t know how to be vulnerable. Did she remember Kyouko wanting to follow Katsuya, and think about doing the same? But Tohru also wants to keep living, somehow.

So she makes her mom not be gone. Her mom is dead, Tohru knows that, just like Akito knows that Akira’s soul isn’t in the box choosing her over Ren and showing her the way to happiness. But maybe. So she talks to the portrait of her mom. She tries to rescue her mom from suffocating inside a mudslide. She takes her mom on holiday to the onsen. Her mom gets kidnapped once by Hiro. Tohru’s mom is definitely not gone. Tohru and her mom definitely still have an eternal bond. Tohru’s mom will always be first in her heart, so that Tohru will always be first in her mother’s heart. Tohru will never abandon her. Tohru will never leave her behind.

(Tohru will never be left behind.)

Tohru’s world is just Tohru and her mom.

Tohru has two best friends, Arisa and Saki, but she won’t let them in. She won’t depend on them. She won’t tell that that her grief is crushing her and that she’s living in a tent because she’s terrified of being abandoned. Tohru makes a lot of new friends in the Souma family, and she’s very happy, but she won’t let them in either. Tohru can’t open up to any of them freely.

I don’t think I saved it anywhere the survived the computer death, but I saw at least one post in the fandom talking about the growing disappointment of the reboot anime, and they had a valid point, so I’ll bring that in now.

I really like the reboot, but I am losing my passion in the final season. Adapting a story from one media to another is hard, and at the beginning I thought they were doing a good job. Small things were being cut, scenes were being rearranged and stitched together, but there was a definite purpose behind it. Instead of literally following each chapter, each episode tried to be a self-contained theme in the same way a manga chapter would be. Because themes repeat again and again in Fruits Basket in a slow build, this was working well. But small things that didn’t quite fit got cut. Scenes I liked and was sad not to see, but that I accepted had to be left out to make the episodes stronger.

But they’ve been piling up and piling up. Small holes have accumulated into big plot holes that the third season is tripping over. I’m sad that we don’t see the small progressions of Yuki and Machi’s relationship, the quiet scenes that show Machi is trying to pay attention to Yuki the way he has paid attention to her, and also all the Mogetas. I’m sad Komaki is the new manga-only character. If we don’t get Kyouko’s full backstory, we lose a lot of the context that’s in this post. I could go on and on.

But most importantly, as that someone else pointed out, we missed out on the progression of Kyou and Tohru’s flirting. It’s too late to cram all of that into a montage episode, and so now we’ve been given episode after episode of Mom Tohru, and hardly any Tohru Struggling With Romance In Addition To Struggling With Grief before suddenly everyone is confessing their love and I’m not as into it in the anime as I am in the manga.

So many of the Souma love and accept Tohru, but Tohru remains an Outsider—not because of the curse, but because she hasn’t formed close friendships with them. Tohru has a lot of people among the Souma she likes who like her, but she’s always a Mom to them. Tohru shares some of her own pain with them, but it’s shared for their benefit, not for Tohru’s own catharsis. Tohru shares so she will be loved, not so that she will be accepted.

Except Kyou.

Kyou, who looks at Tohru and thinks, “I’m pretty sure she’s that lonely person even now, even while she’s smiling and genuinely enjoying every moment with us.” Kyou, who’s falling in love with Tohru. Kyou, whom Tohru’s falling in love with.

Kyou is the only one that Tohru takes a desperate risk with. Kyou is the only one Tohru ~disillusions~ and ~disappoints~ in the hope that he’ll accept her regardless.

Kyou is the only one Tohru tells, “I don’t talk about my dad because I kicked him out of the family. I know my dad loved us and I loved him back, but I pretend to talk like him so my mom will forget about him and love me instead. He came between me and my mom and now I pretend he doesn’t exist. And I know I’m an awful person for behaving like that, so I keep his picture and pretend I don’t, and I pretend he’s the Bad Guy who earned it.”

The idea that Tohru can’t love both her mom and Kyou is, in a way, true. (I think that same post I’ve been referencing also talked about how dropping the budding romance also dropped a lot of the clues that this is Tohru unable to process her grief? Which is also very true. But if Tohru has the Souma mindset, then actually she has a legit point about not being able to love two people at once despite being a very loving person. Both can be true. Multitudes.)

Kyou is an Outsider to the world of Tohru and her mom. And if Tohru chooses to love him, it will weaken her bond with her mom, which is predicated on loving her mom more than anyone else. If she expands her world to include him in it, she will be betraying her mom. Tohru will be the Bad Guy who left her mom behind and abandoned her. Tohru will be her own villain, condemned for the same crimes she pinned on her dad.

Kyou 100% gets where she’s coming from with this, because he turns this exact argument on her when she confesses to him and he panics (akin to when Tohru chases him down in his true form and he slashes her and, in the reboot, yeets her into the lake, so that she will be hurt so bad she’ll never pity/love him again). He asks her if her love for her mom—her bond—was just a lie.

Tohru making friends after Kyouko’s death has been a lot like Akito letting Yuki and Kyou out into the world, certain that it would drive them back to the bond. Yuki getting character development is a huge betrayal. Tohru wanting to be together with Kyou, when she should only want to be together with her mom, is a huge betrayal.

Tohru has no model for expanding her world. She’s good at loving people, but bad at letting them in (Kyouko was bad at that too—like Mom Tohru, she was very good at sharing anecdotes about her violent youth, but very bad about sharing how she’d failed Tohru as a mom). Like Akito, she only really knows the bond—the certainty that her mom would love her. She’s been so terrified of not being loved that she’s acted this entire time like her mom is still around. When Kyou’s love is a possibility, she can only conceptualize it as a betrayal of her relationship with her mother.

It always seemed a bit too abrupt that Tohru looked at Akito with the knife and went “oh shit we’re literally the same”, but now that I’ve thought this all out, it makes eloquent sense. The whole time Tohru’s been working against the curse, she’s been in denial about her own blessing-burden-curse. Now that she’s just admitted it and had it thrown back in her face, she can look at Akito and see another person in an insular little world, isolated and lonely and walled-off from the world. Of course Tohru desperately wants to make friends with knife-wielding Akito—she just decided to let go of her ties to her mother that were suffocating her, and take her first steps into the world, and got immediately dumped by the person she loves. Of course she wants to make friends with someone who knows exactly where Tohru’s coming from and how terrifying what Tohru just did is and how awful it is to be rejected even though she’s got other friends she loves out here in this world she’s decided to finally step into.

Tohru is so damn lonely, and Akito is there, also lonely and screaming and crying and undeniably human.

(Smile, Tohru tells herself in the hospital. Smile and tell Kyou you were happy to meet him and just let him go. Don’t be a curse. Smile and let him find his own happiness. Which is more or less the same struggle Akito is also going through. But maybe they’re going through it together. Maybe they used their words, together, when they couldn’t confide in anyone else. Although it feels a bit unlikely that Tohru let herself break down about Kyou in front of Akito, and Akito already had one pity-party in front of Momiji and may not have wanted to burden Tohru with a second.)

One thing I really love about Fruits Basket Another is that Hajime alludes to the fact that Kyou probably won’t inherit Kazuma’s dojo after all.

Kyou inheriting the dojo is something both Kyou and Kazuma have wanted, and it gives me many warm fuzzies. It is very narratively satisfying. The dojo, while Souma property, is not actually part of the main estate.

What I love is that Kyou probably won’t take over the dojo specifically because he and Tohru have made so many friends in their new town that they don’t want to pick up and leave. Kyou finally succeeds in freeing Tohru from that small, lonely world, much like he’s been freed from the fate of the Cat Room. Their relationship enriches them personally and also enables them to make so many new connections. Kyou has friends at the dojo! Tohru has friends at work maybe! Friends where they buy groceries, friends among the parents of their children’s classmates, friends outside of their extended Souma family! They’ve kept ties that don’t hold them back and made new ties that don’t weaken or steal away any of their old ties!

When they left Tokyo, Tohru was prepared to go anywhere as long as it was with Kyou. Now, she and Kyou both don’t want to leave because their world is so much larger than just their nuclear family and they’ve put down roots. They’ve seen each other not only lonely in the moonlight and worn thin by death and loss, but they’ve gotten up and gone down the mountain to where the people live and made friends among them, laughing in the sunlight. Just like the cat always uggghhhhh I’m not crying I’m just so damn happy for them I can’t

[ex-silent-reader]

Happy Holidays fic recs

Happy Holidays everybody!  I haven’t been commenting on posts individually like i normally like to so it’s kind of backed up a bit. I still really want to thank all the authors who have been sharing their stories with us and leave a lil itty bitty comment before I can expand on them for their own post so here’s that! Also I’ve seen a lot of undeserved negativity being spread to a lot of authors and I just want to thank you all for sharing your work on this platform FOR FREE and remind you that you literally owe us nothing and I’m super grateful that you continue to share with us. These are just some stories that I’ve read this week, i’d def like to do another of these soon :)

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own any of these stories, each story is owned by the author tagged next to the title and the summary is pulled verbatim from their page, in quotation marks. The only thing I own is gratitude towards these authors for sharing their work with us.

Also all stories are rated M 

Also, a loooot of stories have come out lately and I haven’t had a chance to get to a lot of them yet but i hope to soon so I’ll hopefully make another one of these soon, but yea pls know that I’m not purposefully ignoring or excluding anything or anyone.

Jin;

last christmas | ksj x reader - @xjoonchildx

“ summary: it was bound to happen, eventually. after months of near misses at barbecues and birthdays, there’s no avoiding your ex-husband at hoseok’s annual christmas bash. but it’s fine, totally fine, because you’re both adults – and you’ve both brought dates and booze. what could go wrong? “

This story was amazing! First of all, I love the comedy surrounding the entire situation, Hobi with his 8 trees and instigator Yoongi who also wants them to get their shit together for Hobi’s sake. I love all au’s but sometimes exes to lovers is difficult for me to side with because I don’t see how people can bounce back from so much hurt but in this story it felt very natural how they were able to find their way back together and I really enjoyed the insight to their relationship, especially near the end.

Yoongi;

CREAM & SUGA -  @snackhobi

“summary: yoongi is your favourite regular. he’s patient, polite, and predictable, a-large-black-coffee-to-go-please, no cream, no sugar, thank you. rinse and repeat. the seasons might change, but yoongi’s order stays the same.

and then one fateful day in winter, yoongi asks about the weekly specials, orders a cup of christmas and sugary sweetness, and everything starts changing.”

Ya’ll. Yoongi fics just truly hit different. The plot of this was so adorable and him going out of his way like that to keep her engaged was so cute and just very Yoongi like. I also just really loved the descriptions in this, like how oc described making the drinks, it just made everything seem so real.

universe | myg drabble - @personasintro

                           “❥𝒔𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔; you’re his whole universe, you just don’t know it yet – or him” 

ASDFGHJKL! Like, I really have no words for the way this made me feel. Like, ik it’s not a super healthy dynamic but the thought of a fixated Yoongi is.. I loved reading Yoongi being so fixated with oc and doing everything i his capability to meet her. I also was v interested in the part where he bumped into her and she didn’t react the way he expected because it made me think about how he (or any character’s with his mindset) cope when the fantast and reality don’t match.

Hobi;

 A Holly, Jolly Crisis (M) -  @kpopfanfictrash

* Blog doesn’t allow copy/paste and I wanted to respect that*

This story made me feel so many things. Like there’s so many layers to it and both of their hurt, her visiting him and feeling betrayed while he felt pushed aside. This story was so complex and both characters had so many layers to them, but it’s still sooo well written and I was invested the entire time. Like, I genuinely can’t get my feelings out in a brief way so I’m looking forward to screaming about this in it’s own post.

Joonie;

 my only wish - knj | m - @ppersonna

“✹ summary- There are few things you hate most in this world. Hornets, unnecessary fruit pieces in otherwise perfectly good jello, certain shades of orange… But nothing takes the cake more than two simple things. Christmas. And Kim Namjoon. So why did you agree to pretend to be Kim Namjoon’s girlfriend at his family Christmas party? Bah-Humbug. “

UM! Absolutely adored this story, of course it would be a fellow cream suit enthusiast who can bring so much justice to dreamy Joon. I loved how he was portrayed here and getting insight to both his and oc’s feelings made me root for them soooo hard.

new parent syndrome - @1kook

“ SUMMARY You love Namjoon, honest. But you love your daughter Hyejoo even more— it’s not a controversial sentiment when you know he’s the same way! —and going back to a regular adult life sans kids absolutely sucks. (Or so you thought.)”

The tag “dreamy husband joon” is extremelyyyy accurate. This story was just so cute and their relationship truly felt so intimate and lovely. Her being on the phone with Jimin while Joon was smash SENT me but it was also so hot like ASDFGHJKL that man can do no wrong tbh.

  laundry day - @snackhobi

“summary: You’ve been letting your laundry pile up for a little too long. Fortunately, your neighbour Namjoon is there to lend you a hand. “

Pls this was so hot. Like, I’ve made it very clear thus far that I’m a total simp for Joon, the thought of that man going strawberry picking and thinking to grab some for oc genuinely makes me SWOON. He’s an actual heartthrob.

   The Sweet in Sweet Potato - @sahmfanficbts

“ Summary: You’ve been roommates for years. Now that you’re catching feelings, it’s time to run away. “

This entire series has had me so invested but this chapter!!! I’m always a sucker for Joon but the way he was so clearly in her feels (for OC) but wanting to respect her need for distance, what a man. And I was so happy to see oc working through her feeling towards Joon.

Last Christmas (M) - @jjungkookislife

* Blog doesn’t allow copy/paste and I wanted to respect that*

Damn, I really love when a misunderstanding is such a big catalyst for a bunch of drama/angst. It just really ups the tension for me because as the reader I know it was a misunderstanding but clearly the character’s don’t, so it just makes me really eager to see how they make amends. I really enjoyed seeing them slowly make amends and grow. Also the buildup to them deciding to give the relationship another go made the ending soooo satisfying.

Jimin;

 picking petals｜pjm - @taestybae

“ summary ↣ you asked for a baby, so a baby is what you’re going to get. “

I really have no words for this, like it was so asaifgjhhkc. First of all, I really enjoyed that it was through his pov, i don’t typically read stories like that (I just don’t often come across them) but this still felt so natural that I didn��t even realize until right now, writing this comment. Also, the imagery was so well described and the anticipation built made this story so enjoyable.

Taehyung;

 Deepest Indulgence  - @scribblemetae

“ Description/Summary: The world is a mess, gangs, violence and rates of poverty are at an all time high since corporations took over everything. You built your Sex house to be a safe place and a sanctuary for those in need, promising to protect anybody who needs it. What happens when an extremely attractive and very rich man walks through the door begging for a job at Deepest Indulgence? The one sex house that wasn’t meant for men like himself. “

I AM SO EAGER FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER TO COME OUT. Like, idk how I can even describe this correctly but this just feel so much like Tae...???? Like idk if that makes sense but just Tae being this v sensual man, but there still being more to him than that, just makes so much sense and even the word “indulgence” is just so sensual and reminiscent of him. Also, the storyline so far is something I’ve personally never seen before and I’m super invested in this world and story already. Very eager to see how their relationship progresses.

 let it snow | kth - @suga-kookiemonster

* Blog doesn’t allow copy/paste and I wanted to respect that*

It’s the way I read this last night, it took me exactly an hour (3am to 4 am cause I’m a CLOWN), and I was so invested that I kept putting off sleep to finish it. Man, i’m a simp for this Tae (just like he is for oc lmao). I really enjoyed reading it and the mention of Jisoo earlier in the story had me on the edge of my seat the whole time wondering when things were gonna blow up. Everything was just so sweet and fluffy, and the confession really made me feel so soft for them both cause they both were so in their own heads and feelings they couldn’t see what was in front of them so I really enjoyed the confessions.

Jungkook;

Thank you, baby - @scribblemetae

“ Turns out the boy whos been stalking you for years has decided its about time he shows his face in the form of a picture, and decides its time to talk to you for real, in the form of a phone call. “

I genuinely don’t know how I can simp over this story in a short way but I’ll try my best. The characters are so complex and the storyline is twisted so many ways that make this so interesting to read and easy to become invested in. The way Jk is written, I understand why OC is lost on how to feel for him. Like, his actions are wrong, but actually meeting him and even seeing his though process, it’s hard to make him out to be the villian that his actions have categorized him as. I can’t wait to continue reading and write a full length comment about this!

FEED ME, FIGHT ME.  @yeojaa

“ What do you get when you mix a pissed off girlfriend with a neglectful boyfriend?  (Aside from trouble, that is.) “

I really enjoyed this, I love how aware of Jk and his boundaries the oc is and how she is cautious to walk the line and not push him too far while also letting him know how his actions make her feel. This just genuinely felt like a glimpse into a very real, very intimate relationship/moment and I loved that. I also just really love how this is written and I think you have a beautiful way with words. 

Chapstick - @softyoongiionly

“based on the time Jungkook said he needed someone to scold him so he’d remember to put lip balm on. Or Jungkook’s had a really long day and the only that can make it better, is seeing you. “

Idk if I’ve ever said it before, but I just love how you write relationships. Like, I can feel how comfortable they are with each other and how natural being together is for them. With your stories generally it just never feels forced and I really love that. I also really liked that we got Jk’s pov in the beginning, getting to see how tense he was really made me eager for their interactions and for him to feel comfortable and calm with her. Their interactions just felt so cute and natural and the end, assdjfhi, jk really deserves to be cherished and I loved seeing oc get him to the point of relaxation.

[justlookfrightened]

4, 5, or 35 ? Because I’m indecisive as hell and love your writing.

From this prompt list: 4. “If I die, I’m haunting you first.”; 5. “But I’ve never told you that before.” ; and 35.  “Oh honey, I’d never be jealous of you.”

Bitty played hockey and Samwell and went on to be a cookbook author; Jack went directly into the NHL.

Bitty’s eyes traveled up the the shelves of the cupboard, wondering what ingredients he could reasonably expect someone who did not cook or bake for a living to have.

Flour, of course, if they were volunteering to be on a baking show. Most likely all purpose. Sugar (white) and salt (iodized). Butter. Maybe they usually used margarine, but Bitty would not compromise on that. Butter surely counted as a common ingredient. Shortening, too.

What about spices? Most people probably had cinnamon in their cabinets, even if it was twelve years old and devoid of flavor. Would nutmeg or allspice be too much? Maybe.

And this contestant had requested a fruit pie. If they were going for common ingredients, that would most likely mean apple. Apples were nearly always plentiful and cheap at supermarkets, so if this pie was going to use fresh fruit (and it was), it would be apple.

*

Bitty had misgivings about appearing on “So You Think You Can Bake,” the new Food Network show that pitted expert bakers against celebrities. The idea was that the expert would develop a recipe they thought was suitable for an inexperienced home cook.

Then the expert and the celebrity would both make the dish in separate kitchens while being filmed. 

The expert baker and celebrity contestant would have their creations scored anonymously. If the celebrity chef received at least eighty percent of the score of the celebrity baker, they won money for the baker to keep and the celebrity to donate to charity. Total scores counted toward the final competition at season’s end, when the three best pairs would be brought back for the final, competing for a $50,0000 prize.

There were so many things that could go wrong. Bitty could get paired with a celebrity chef with no palate, or no coordination, or even no real interest in winning. Some people could mess up a perfectly good recipe by not measuring accurately, or doing steps in the wrong order, or even mistaking the salt for the sugar. If the celebrity chef messed up, it wouldn’t just look bad for them. It would throw shade on Bitty, whose job, after all, was to explain how to bake in a way that people would understand. Relatable was his brand.

But Eileen, the PR rep who handled his books for the publishing house, thought it would be a good idea.

“This show is literally made for you,” she said. “And the exposure would be great. Think of the campaign for your next book.”

So Bitty agreed. Then he found out who his assigned celebrity was.

“A hockey player?” Bitty asked. “Whose only memorable sound bite is ‘Eat more protein’? Which did not go viral for the reasons he thinks it did. I mean, I wasn’t expecting Beyonce, or even Taylor Swift, but why not a Kacey Musgraves?”

Bitty wasn’t at all bitter that, at 24, he no longer had regular access to an ice rink. He could pay to rent ice to figure skate, but it was hard to find the motivation since he was no longer in competition, and he hadn’t yet found a men’s league hockey team where he felt comfortable.

“I know Jack Zimmermann isn’t who most people think of as a home cook,” Eileen said. “But the producers were thrilled. They think he’ll bring on a whole new demographic.”

“How’d they rope him into it anyway?” Bitty asked, scrolling through interview after interview with Jack talking saying, “We win and lose as a team,” and “We have to protect the neutral zone and get the puck down low,” and “We need to keep our feet moving and have a shoot-first mentality.”

It was like they taught him six phrases in media training and he used them over and over again, in random order.

He wasn’t hard to look at, Bitty would give him that. And the physique -- yeah, his nutrition plan was definitely protein-heavy. Why would he agree to do a baking show? 

*

“My agent said it would be a good idea,” Jack Zimmermann said when he and Bitty had their first meeting. “He said it would humanize me. Actually, he said it would be the beginning of an arc of character development I wasn’t expecting, but that’s just the way he is.”

The actual first meeting was in the green room, waiting to go on-set for the “first meeting” taping. Jack had been sitting in a chair along the wall when Bitty came in, reading an actual, honest-to-God book.

Bitty had to shove his phone in his pocket as he cleared his throat to get Jack’s attention. It seemed like Jack kept reading for a few seconds after he noticed Bitty, which was annoying, because the book would always be there, but Bitty was prepared to be gracious.

“Mr. Zimmermann? I’m Eric Bittle,” Bitty said. “We’re going to be working together. Pleased to meet you.”

“I know,” Jack said. 

Okay. 

“When we start the taping, I’m going to ask you about any experience you have baking, any favorite desserts, things you’ve always wanted to learn to make,” Bitty said. “Anything you want me to steer the conversation toward? Or stay away from?”

“Are we supposed to be doing this?” Jack said. “Talking, I mean.”

“Um, yes?” Bitty said. “It’s not like we’re concocting a fake story. We just want the on-camera talk to go smoothly. So have you baked before?”

“No.”

“Any favorite desserts?”

“I don’t really eat sweets.”

“Well, you’re going to have to eat something sweet,” Bitty said. “Anything you want to make?”

Jack shrugged.

“Honey, don’t take this the wrong way, but why are you here?” Bitty asked.

“Uh, you can call me Jack,” Jack said, then launched into his explanation about his agent, a man with the improbable name of John Johnson.

Bitty shook his head at that, and tried to keep the conversation going.

“You’re Canadian, right?” 

“Dual citizenship,” Jack said. “But I mostly grew up in Montreal.”

“Anything special from back home?”

Then the assistant came to bring them on the set, dressed to look like a home kitchen, each of them seated at a table with mugs in front of them. The mugs just held water, but the audience wouldn’t see that; it was supposed to look like two friends talking over coffee.

Bitty decided to pick up the conversation where he left off in the green room, since it was the only thing he hadn’t struck out on already.

“So, Jack, I understand you’re from Montreal. Do have any memories of classic desserts or baked goods from your childhood?”

Jack paused and looked like he was really thinking, like he didn’t want to disappoint the producers.

“We used to have tarte au sucre at the holidays,” he finally said. “I liked that.”

“Sugar pie?” Bitty said, thankful that at least the cooking terms had stuck from his college French class. “We could do something with that.”

“But I’d like to do something that has some healthy ingredients,” Jack had said. 

“Is fruit healthy enough?” Bitty asked. “Maybe a fruit pie? You might not know this, but that’s kind of my specialty.”

Jack had offered a smile at that, and said, “Good to know. Maybe we can win this thing, eh?”

The taping didn’t last long, and soon Bitty was collecting his things from the green room.

“Wait, Jack, I forgot to ask you, any allergies? I wouldn’t want to kill you for a silly TV show.”

“If I die, I’m haunting you first,” Jack said. “But no, no food allergies. Is there anything I should practice beforehand?”

“I don’t think I’m allowed to tell you that,” Bitty said, starting to feel like maybe Jack wasn’t as wooden as he’d seemed at first. He seemed to relax once the taping ended. Maybe this would be okay after all.

*

Bitty started by making an apple pie, trying to write down the steps as precisely as he could just as he did them.

It didn’t work.

Sure, he could measure and mix the dry ingredients for the crust, and tell Jack to make sure his butter and shortening were cold, but how could he explain the twisting motion for the pastry cutter? When he had to start by explaining what a pastry cutter was? 

And how would Jack know when he was done cutting and should add the ice water? Bitty had read recipes over the years saying the mixture should look like everything from rough crumbs to small peas … which were not the same thing by a long shot. Bitty had learned what it should look like at his MooMaw’s elbow; sure, he’d tried to put it into words in his cookbooks, but there was a reason he always included photos.

Jack had said he’d never baked. He wouldn’t know what it should look like.

Bitty called the producers to ask if he could include pictures in the recipe he developed for Jack.  The answer -- hand-drawn sketches were fine, as long he drew them himself, but no photographs -- was not encouraging.

Bitty started over and this time took a photograph of the dough mixture just before he added the water. He could use that  to write a description, he decided. Then he had to think about how to explain when the dough was wet enough.

Once he had the dough made, the process for making the filling was easier. Peel and slice apples, coat with flour and a little cinnamon and sugar -- and, a last-minute brainstorm for Canadian Jack, a little maple syrup -- and set aside. He toyed with the idea of including maple sugar for the crust, but the studio pantry probably didn’t have real maple sugar. He could boil some syrup down -- but that wasn’t something Jack could (or would) do, probably. Better to just do an egg wash and sprinkle some sugar on for the sparkle.

The instructions for rolling out the dough were simple enough, provided Jack followed them. That was the hard part. Most people couldn’t seem to leave well enough alone with pie dough.

Bitty moved to his laptop and wrote at the top of the instructions:

“A general note on making pie dough. Do less than you think you need to. Don’t work it too much. If you do, it will be tough. So if you’re not sure if you should stop messing with it, stop.”

Then he did his best to put into words what it should like with all the fats cut in (“If you don’t see any powdery flour, it’s probably good”) and with the ice water added (“It should be moist, not wet”).

Then he thought about the top. Normally, people thought of lattices as being hard to do. But if the baker was methodical and followed directions, it wasn’t so bad. And it would be easier to put strips on top of the pie than to pick up the whole top crust and put it on intact. It didn’t really matter if the bottom was a mess; this wasn’t the Great British Bake-Off with Mary Berry and her hatred of soggy bottoms. The pie would be served from the dish, and no one would know if the bottom crust was torn and mended as long it still tasted good.

So, a nice, tightly woven lattice for the top. Bitty set to drawing a detailed diagram.

*

Bitty printed the recipe he developed -- all ten pages -- to bring with him and hand to Jack. He’d already supplied it to the producers to make sure they agreed all the ingredients were things a home cook would have in their pantry, or at least have ready access to.

“Real maple syrup?” the production assistant had asked. “What about something like Pillsbury pancake syrup? That’s what most people use.”

“My baker is Canadian,” Bitty argued. “He’d have the real stuff.”

“Fine, I guess.”

Bitty was dressed for TV in dark skinny jeans, a light T-shirt and a Samwell red button-down over it with red Chuck Taylors. The provided apron, he knew, would be beige with a dark red logo.

Jack came in dressed in charcoal gray tailored slacks and a light blue shirt, almost exactly the same color as his eyes. Yeah, he was good-looking. Bitty wasn’t sure if he would bring in the sports-loving young men the producers were hoping for, but it wouldn’t matter. The women would love him. And the gay boys like him. But no one ever counted them as their own demographic.

When the got into the studio, Bitty handed over the recipe.

Jack’s eyes widened when he saw how long it was.

“Does this take all day?” he asked.

“I can do it in about two hours,” Bitty said. “Counting chilling and baking time.”

“You’ll have three hours to complete the challenge,” the host said. “As long as you finish in that time, any differential in how long it takes won’t count against you.

Jack nodded, a determined set to his jaw. Bitty was almost glad they would be separated so he didn’t have to worry about cutting himself on that jawline.

Then Bitty was escorted to his studio kitchen, where he proceeded to make a pie, narrating each step, just like he was making a vlog post.

He made sure to turn the top of the bowl to the camera when he was done cutting the fats in, and again when he added the water. 

“You see those streaks of butter and shortening?” he said, when he gathered the dough into disks to chill. “You want those to make flaky crust.”

He made sure to slice the apples evenly, and mix them gently with the flour and flavorings, then he rolled his dough out.

He clucked at himself -- but didn’t say anything -- when he realized he’d forgotten to tell Jack to make sure he had the thinnest possible layer of fat on his work surface before he scattered flour over it.

Then, once the pie was done, he actually slapped himself upside the head.

“I never said anything about covering the edges with foil at the beginning,” he said. “Poor guy is definitely gonna have burnt edges. Oh well.”

Bitty’s pie came out of the oven at the two-hour mark, and he donned oven mitts to be filmed carrying it into the judging room.

“You’ve got some time if you want to head to the green room relax,” the production assistant said. “Someone will come get you before Jack is ready to bring his pie in.”

Bitty flung himself onto the couch and groaned. He could have used the $5,000 prize from this stage of the competition to get ahead on his rent for a couple of months … and maybe even rent an ice rink for a couple of hours to clear his mind. He didn’t regret his choice of career -- writing cookbooks, running his vlog, making appearances like this -- but the money tended to come in fits and starts.

He realized he’d never even asked Jack what his charity was. The show must have asked him at some point, so Bitty was sure he’d find out eventually. He hoped Jack would donate to his chosen charity regardless. He could certainly afford it. The only real advantage for the charity to having Jack appear on the show was publicity. Well, and convincing people that straight, athletic young men could bake and enjoy it.

But Bitty forgot to tell him to use foil to guard the edges, so they probably wouldn’t advance, and it would all be Bitty’s fault. Jack -- he had to be competitive, right? -- well, it didn’t matter if hated Bitty. They hardly knew one another. 

*

“Eric? Jack’s pie is done. Time to go to the judging room.”

Bitty roused himself from the sofa, resigned to his fate. If nothing else, he’d learned a lesson.

He took his place behind his pie and waited for Jack and his pie with its inevitable burnt edges.

He was sitting there when Jack came in, carrying his beautiful golden brown pie aloft. Jack set it on the empty cooling rack next to Bitty’s and stepped back.

It was beautiful. The lattice was maybe not quite as straight, not quite as even as Bitty’s, but it was close.

Bitty couldn’t help a pleased grin, first at the pie, then at Jack, who had finished with fifteen minutes to spare.

“Okay, you two. We’re going to break for lunch while Jack’s pie cools,” the production assistant said. “We need you back in an hour in the same clothes, so don’t mess them up.”

Bitty was about to head out when Jack said, “Want to grab a sandwich? There’s a place down the block.”

“Sure,” Bitty said. “I have some questions for you.”

“And me for you,” Jack said.

Once they had their food and settled at a table, Bitty said, “How did you keep the edges from burning?”

“I made foil collars,” Jack said.

“But I’ve never told you that before,” Bitty said.

“You always do it on your YouTube channel,” Jack said.

“Wait … you’ve seen … but you said you’d never baked,” Bitty said. 

“I hadn’t,” Jack said. “That doesn’t mean I’ve never watched anyone else bake on YouTube. When Johnson said you were doing this, it seemed like a good opportunity to meet you.”

“To meet me?” Bitty really had to start thinking of some of his own words instead of just repeating Jack’s.

“Well, yeah,” Jack said. “Someone showed me your videos when you were at Samwell, and I was intrigued by a hockey player who baked. Made me wonder what it would have been like to be on a college team, or whether I’d develop any other interests.”

“Someone?”

Jack actually blushed. “My mother. She went to Samwell.”

It was almost a physical effort for Bitty to push that out of his head. Jack’s mother was … nope. Not going there.

“So you wanted to make pie because you’d see me make it before?” 

“A lot,” Jack said. “But the instructions were really helpful.”

“I thought we’d lost it when I realized I’d never said anything about the foil,” Bitty admitted.

“But I figured you could make a donation to your charity anyway.”

Jack nodded.

“I plan on adding to it even if we win,” he said. “What do you want to do with the money? Bitty was not going to tell Jack Zimmermann that he needed money to pay his rent. Not this unexpected Jack Zimmermann, who for some reason had been interested in Bitty for years. Despite, Bitty reminded himself, being straight. Almost certainly.

“Some of it will buy ice time,” he said. “I miss skating, you know? I used to figure skate before I played hockey.”

“I’m not sure what I’d do if I couldn’t skate every day,” Jack said. “Sorry, maybe I shouldn’t say that. Don’t want to make you jealous.”

“Oh honey, I’d never be jealous of you,” Bitty said. ”I have the job I want. I just want to be able to skate for fun. Like you want to bake for fun, I guess.”

“I don’t know about that,” Jack said. “It was pretty stressful. I kept wanting to make it perfect, but you said not to overwork it. But maybe it would be more fun if it wasn’t being recorded for TV.”

“Maybe we could bake together sometime?” Bitty said. 

“Then skate?” Jack suggested. “On our practice ice.”

“That would be really great,” Bitty said. “Ready to go back? By the way, you never said what your charity is.”

“You Can Play,” Jack said. “I’m thinking of coming out next year.”