#bisexuality is about dreams desires and capacities!!!!

[lucydacusgirl]

From ‘Challenging the Stereotypes’ by Amanda Udis-Kessler in Bisexual Horizons: Politics, Histories, Lives (1996)

[francispprice]

task dump 1: all about love

read more to learn about francis's love language, family, and identity! (tasks 4, 5, and 6)

Task 4: Love Language

Francis values both words of affirmation and physical touch. Words of affirmation have always been a big part of Francis’s days, both given and received. Similarly, physical touch impacts Francis in a huge way and has only grown more important to him as he’s grown, both to give and to receive.

When Francis realized his parents didn’t know that their words affected him so greatly while in middle school, he wrote a short story illustrating the point sufficiently. His dad, however, just said, “Words are cool, son. That’s how they roll.” Francis knew from this that his dad would try his best but probably not give him the affirmation he desired. This was all right with Francis, as his dad was big on hugs (Francis’s other love language). Francis’s mom loved the short story and to this day tells her son that his words speak to her. (His mom is unlike him in many ways. Something in these interactions, though, manages to qualify as Francis’s love language, so he’ll just take it.)

Francis’s physical interactions with others are very important to him. He’ll initiate conversations with a big hug and end them with a pat on the back, usually longer and more sincere. Francis loves hugs and pats on the back in return. He tells people so whenever it happens.

Francis will ensure that he gives his romantic partner the love language they most prefer. He knows that his ways of receiving love are straightforward, but his ways of giving love come across differently depending on who receives it. This is why he intends on learning more about his future wife early, wooing her the way she likes to experience love.

Task 5: Family

Francis has a large family. The Prices themselves are a five-person family with a solid background with one another. Francis’s parents, Bernard and Divina Price, each have four siblings, so Francis grew up meeting cousin after cousin at family get-togethers. (Bernard Price’s relations actually have the last name Nelson. This is because Bernard was adopted as a pre-teen into the Nelson family but retained the last name Price.) Francis’s mother has living grandparents, so Francis is familiar with the time-honored tradition of only seeing one’s grandparents during the winter holidays.

Francis dreams of someday beginning his own special family with that special someone. His ideal for the family would be he and his wife and their three children, all of whom would be adopted locally.

Francis likes to imagine what his future family will look like and act like. He has box after box of “treasures” that he intends on sharing with them when the time comes.

Francis would be totally devastated if he learned that having a family would not be possible because of his career. In that case, he would step down from whatever position he was filling and work in an advisory capacity, earning enough to support his family and giving himself enough time to spend growing that family.

Task 6: Pride

Francis identifies as a heterosexual and demisexual cis man. (Demisexuality entails sexual attraction to the person of a preferred gender only after a strong connection has been forged.) Francis additionally uses the pronouns he and they, though he describes himself using the pronoun he.

Francis loves the LGBT community. His heroes in industry and history identified fluidly. Francis wants to express his support as an ally and do what he can to further LGBT causes.

Francis used to think that he might be bisexual, but careful thought and experimentation revealed to him that he was straight after all. This time, however, remains one of Francis’s favorite periods of his life, and he is glad that he possessed the confidence to consider every possibility.

Francis enjoys creating visuals for LGBT organizations in his spare time. He uses a dedicated laptop for his contributions to these organizations and goes by the anonymous name “Kaleb Wittman.”

[nxpintxs]

kate valdez.     she/her.    cis woman.      ›spotted   at   the   met   steps   ,  gabriela  gatmaitan   ,  most   likely   listening   to   me  and  my  husband   by   mitski   with   their   airpods   pro   .   the  twenty-six  year  old   gained   quite   a �� reputation   ,   known   to   be   -puppeteering   yet   +mesmerizing   to   anyone   who   knows   them   .   you'll   easily   spot   them   when   you   hear   about   the  gentle  wash  of  seafoam  as  the sea  sleeps  into  the  shore  ;   the  illuminating  iridescence  of  pearls  reflecting  the  moonlight ;  the  delicate  and  intricate  threads   of  elaborate  lacework  manipulated  into  being  by  careful  hands  ,   followed   by   their   delina  by  parfums  de  marly   .   latest   nepoupdates   article   talks   about   how  gabriela's  billionaire  husband  cheated  on  her  and  impregnated  his  secretary,  leading  to  divorce proceedings  that  became  a  national  spectacle  ,   but   i   guess   any   reputation   is   good   reputation   .

name: gabriela gatmaitan age: twenty-six gender: cis woman pronouns: she/her orientation: bisexual heterosexual occupation: socialite traits: — charismatic / determined / ambitious / perceptive — puppeteering / materialistic / traditional / cutthroat

BACKGROUND

There are many names that she has been called through her short lifetime, but there is one phrase that captures all of them succinctly: sugar baby. 

Gabriela Gatmaitan was born into nothing. Her parents were nameless and aimless and unimportant; the stars had written the same fate for the young child. And yet she dared to dream of more — she dared to dream to reach for these imposing stars, she dared to dream to crush them in her hands, and she dared to dream to scintillate in their place. There were two assets she was born with that would allow her to usurp the stars: one, she is beautiful and charming and many are quick to acquiesce to her wishes and forgive her for any and all sins; two, she is cutthroat and ambitious — she will not stop at mere dreams, she will forge the world she desires from strings she has woven and manipulated with her own hands. 

The first step is this: she brings value to herself and weaves her way into the spaces that the affluent are wont to frequent. The public schools of Boston are well-funded and she dedicates her entire self to a curriculum vitae holistic and worthy of applause; she applies for scholarship to a school prestigious and far above her means. She may have begun jagged at the edges, but soon enough she is polished to the pre-molded image of perfection, taking even then her rightful throne by the side of those in power, exchanging her entire being for lavish, beautiful adornments. When the time comes to choose her higher education, she chooses nothing but the best: she is destined for Harvard. 

The second step is this: there is diminishing marginal returns in overperforming in one’s education. Instead, she spends her time curating the perfect connections. Friends of friends. Family friends of friends. She maneuvers through these spaces as though she was born into them, and across the room her eyes meet his desirous gaze. It is at that moment that she finds her life’s purpose. There is, even for Gabriela, a limit to her ambitions: she does not think it is in her place to accomplish the domination of the world. Instead, she sidles herself by the side of he who had full capacity to do so, and engaged all that she has in order to endear this man to her until he succumbs mind, body, and soul to her will and desire.

The third step is this: when he asks her to marry him, she says yes. She constructs the perfect self for this man; she performs every role dutifully in order to serve his every need. She does nothing with the education she has clamored so hard to achieve in order that she can devote herself full-time to his service. She plays the perfect wife so that he never suspects the machinations that she so underhandedly executes, and soon her fingers play the strings behind his every move. She did all that she could, and yet —

It is not enough.

It is not even by her mistake that the strings fall from her grasp. It is nothing but the product of time and the inevitable desires of those who are so used to having all that they wish; she is replaced with a girl younger and more exciting, and there is nothing that she can do about it. And she fights tooth and nail, she fights until her hands bleed, but the battle has long been lost. She is cast aside. And so she rains hell upon him. She may not have the considerable resources that he has, but she is driven by the violent desire for blood. 

But even when she manages to usurp half of the empire they once ruled as emperor and empress, her victory feels empty. Gabriela has lost everything, and not even all the beautiful things in the world can replace that which she now lacks: a purpose.

HEADCANONS

— Despite all that she has been through and what she has had to do to get where she is, Gabriela is rather traditional and conservative. Despite this, she’s not unfriendly nor as snobbish as she might first seem. She gets along well with people. Most of the time.  — She prefers elegant soirées, galas, and balls to nightclubs and wild parties.  — She loves beautiful things: she collects fashion and art and jewelry; she loves fine and exclusive things: she often goes to Michelin-starred restaurants and often purchases inexcusably expensive liquor. More than that, she loves to give and loves to share. She often hosts luxury shopping sprees and opulent dinners for her friends.  — WIP

[flowrsrot]

 [    dominique  devenport  ,  27  ,  cis  woman  ,  she  +  her  ]    in  the  time  of  dragons  ,  𝐝𝐚𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚  𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐲𝐞𝐧  𝐧𝐞𝐞  𝐭𝐲𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐥  is  entering  the  game  of  thrones  .  said  to  be  devoted  +  amiable  ,  we  can  only  hope  that  is  the  case  as  regrettably  they  are  also  well  known  to  be  fickle  +  cautious  .  when  asked  about  them  ,  people  are  always  reminded  of  idyllic  dreams  coming  to  fruition  as  you  pray  for  the  god's  blessings  ,  bedecked  with  wild  flowers  from  crown  to  chemise  ,  adam  and  eve  in  the  secret  garden  ,  the  last  pomegranate  seeds  ,  old  lullabies  sung  under  the  stars  -  little  fingers  held  tightly  in  your  own  ,  a  thin  veil  worn  to  cover  one's  sins  .  though  they  are  𝐭𝐡𝐞  𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬  𝐨𝐟  𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥  ,  their  true  loyalties  lie  with  house  tyrell  and  house  targaryen  and  rumour  has  it  that  if  given  the  choice  they  would  support  the  prince  of  summerhill  above  all  else  .  those  of  us  in  the  shadows  wish  them  luck  and  can  only  hope  they  will  survive  what  is  to  come  .

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫   𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐥𝐬   :      daphne  bridgerton    (    bridgerton    )    ,    margaery  tyrell    (    game  of  thrones    )    ,    persephone    (    greek  mythology    )    ,    princess  anna    (    frozen    )    ,    princess  diana    (    history    )    ,    buttercup    (    princess  bride    )    ,    kitty  shcherbatsky    (    anna  karenina    )    ,    princess  serenity    (    sailor  moon  ,  90s    )   ,    queen  susan  pevensie   (    narnia    )    .

NAME     daella    targaryen    nee    tyrell       .

TITLE     princess    of    summerhall    ,    lady    of    the    reach  .

FAMILY    former   ruling   lord   tyrell      -      father      (      deceased      )       ,       ruling   lady   tyrell      -      mother      (      deceased      )       ,       theon   tyrell      -      brother      ,       leyla   tyrell   nee   hightower      -      sister - in - law      ,       olyvar   tyrell      -      brother      ,       aster   tyrell      -      brother      ,       oriana   tyrell      -      sister      ,       alerie   tyrell      -      sister      ,       kassia   flowers      -      half   sister    .

OFFSPRING    rhaenyra   targaryen       -       daughter          ,       aerys   targaryen       -       son    

AGE    twenty    -    seven       .

SEXUALITY     bisexual        .

HEIGHT     5      ft      3      “ 

PERSONALITY     TRAITS     devoted   ,    amiable   ,    fickle   ,   cautious    ,    affectionate    ,    passionate    .

LANGUAGES     the    common   tongue    ,   high    valyrian  .

LOYALTIES    house   tyrell   ,   house   targaryen   (   some   )       .

daella  was  born  the  oldest  daughter  of  the  rulers  of  the  reach  ,  the  first  daughter  after  three  sons  .  her  mother  was  overjoyed  at  her  birth  ,  welcoming  the  child  into  her  heart  with  ease  .  she  was  her  mother's  whole  world  and  then  some  .  but  daella  would  soon  be  followed  after  by  two  sisters  of  her  own  and  thus  the  love  was  made  to  be  shared  .  she  was  a  jealous  child  in  the  beginning  ,  so  used  to  being  the  only  girl  in  the  family  .  when  her  sister  arrived  she  loathed  the  chubby  red  babe  -  threw  tantrums  when  the  attention  of  her  family  was  pulled  away  by  the  girl  .  in  time  ,  she  grew  to  understand  the  child  was  not  intending  to  steal  attention  from  her  .

their  father  never  paid  much  attention  to  the  girl  aside  from  ensuring  she  was  paying  attention  in  her  lessons  ,  granting  her  gifts  as  desired  and  allowing  for  her  to  roam  the  castle  without  his  watchful  eye  .  it  was  her  septa  that  cared  for  her  ,  mainly  ,  and  though  daella  grew  to  care  for  the  woman  -  she  made  the  decision  that  while  she  would  require  one  -  she  would  never  allow  a  septa  to  take  over  the  raising  of  her  children  .  

daella  spent  much  of  her  youth  attending  great  balls  and  events  ,  waiting  with  some  excitement  to  find  her  one  great  love  .  but  at  none  did  she  find  him  ,  though  her  father  introduced  her  to  many  suitable  future  partners  -  each  seemingly  more  perfect  than  the  last  .  but  none  would  offer  her  any  sort  of  happiness  .  comfort  ,  perhaps  ,  but  she  desired  love  .  betrothals  were  nearly  arranged  as  the  years  went  on  ,  but  her  parents  agreed  that  she  could  have  a  little  more  time  .

the  reach  would  play  host  to  numerous  guests  over  the  years  ,  and  daella  happily  spent  her  time  with  them  -  smiling  and  offering  pleasantries  over  teas  from  across  the  world  .  it  was  through  these  many  meetings  that  she  would  ,  for  the  first  time  in  any  official  capacity  ,  meet  the  prince  aegon  .  she’d  seen  him  in  passing  through  his  friendship  with  her  brother  ,  but  she’d  always  been  quick  to  hide  herself  away  -  cheeks  going  red  as  she  blushed  .  their  first  true  meeting  was  met  with  great  emotion  on  both  ends  ,  with  her  years-long  crush  coming  to  fruition  at  their  meeting  .

accompanied  by  a  train  of  ladies  ,  daella  would  arrive  to  the  capitol  draped  in  a  veil  of  myrish  lace  and  a  gown  made  to  appear  as  though  made  up  entirely  of  pale  flowers  .  her  wedding  to  the  targaryen  prince  was  one  to  remember  for  the  age  ,  a  glorious  ceremony  filled  with  the  wealthiest  and  most  powerful  people  in  the  realm  .

her  friendships  with  the  great  targaryen  royals  grew  with  ease  ,  her  newfound  sister  aerea  becoming  one  most  dear  to  her  .  they  would  spend  great  amounts  of  time  together  in  the  gardens  daella  had  designed  at  summerhall  ,  with  daella  summoning  her  youngest  sister  alerie  each  summer  to  join  them  .  rhaegar  too  grew  to  be  another  brother  to  her  -  but  this  time  the  first  younger  brother  she  would  possess  .  growing  to  be  beloved  sisters  ,  when  daella  gave  birth  to  her  firstborn  -  it  was  aerea  she  wished  to  be  by  her  side  when  she  did  so  .  she  was  so  fearful  in  those  first  days  ,  having  heard  so  many  stories  of  horror  from  mothers   around  the  capitol  .  

while  aerea  went  away  to  essos  ,  daella  grew  close  with  the  princess  laena  .  two  women  thrown  into  similar  situations  (  though  daella’s  marriage  was  one  of  love  and  warmth  )  ,  they  empathized  with  each  other’s  situations  .  when  daella’s  pregnancy  was  announced  ,  none  were  more  excited  than  laena  .  it  would  be  her  who  daella  would  plan  to  have  by  her  side  when  the  time  came  .

it  did  not  help  that  her  pregnancies  were  no  easy  feat  -  leaving  the  princess  bound  to  her  chambers  for  the  last  months  of  each  one  to  ensure  the  safety  of  both  her  and  her  unborn  son  .    but  it  was  all  made  worth  it  when  she  held  aerys  in  her  arms  .  still  ,  she  was  grieving  horribly  when  aerys  was  born  ,  longing  for  her  dear  laena  by  her  side  to  hold  her  hand  .

the  woman’s  death  hit  her  harder  than  many  of  the  court  believed  it  ever  could  have  ,  for  even  then  there  was  comparisons  made  between  the  two  princes  and  their  rights  to  the  throne  .  but  the  two  princesses  cared  little  for  what  those  of  the  court  believed  -  they  were  sisters  by  gods  given  right  .  

with  her  death  came  a  change  in  daella  .  for  though  a  part  of  her  had  always  wished  to  be  queen  ,  she  would  have  been  pleased  to  see  laena  upon  the  throne  .  but  with  her  loss  ,  daella  could  see  no  other  but  herself  taking  her  place  .  her  children  ,  laena’s  beloved  niece  and  nephew  ,  could  find  great  success  upon  the  throne  one  day  .  and  if  laena’s  own  could  never  do  so  ,  only  they  deserved  to  .  

the  betrothal  of  the  crown  prince  to  a  foreigner  so  quickly  after  the  death  of  dear  laena  pained  her  more  than  she  could  say  .  it  was  she  who  would  speak  against  it  to  king  lucerys  ,  though  only  in  small  words  .  he  waved  her  off  ,  dismissing  her  worries  as  though  speaking  to  a  child  .  though  she  held  some  fondness  for  him  in  her  heart  through  the  years  ,  with  this  betrothal  it  grew  slim  .

raised  as  a  lady  ,  daella  possesses the  feminine  graces  granted  to  her  by  the  gods  .  she  has  a  keen  interest  in  dancing  ,  singing  ,  flowers  ,  and  stories  of  romance  and  adventure  .  believes  in  the  good  one  can  do  for  others  ,  but  also  doesn’t  want  to  get  her  hands  dirty  to  do  so  .

is  very  much  the  people’s  princess  ,  both  laena  and  daella  were  greatly  beloved  and  so  the  loss  of  laena  pushed  some  of  that  love  to  her  .

was  named  queen  of  love  and  beauty  by  a  knight  in  her  eighteenth  year  ,  has  been  riding  that  high  ever  since  .

[meeko-mar]

Can I just compare Bakudeku to Korrasami for just a moment

Not as in, their relationship, but in terms of fandom experience, perception and how it became Canon.

So, some years ago, LOK was on it's 4th and final season. So of course, shipping discourse was high. Who would Korra end up with? Would she end up single, be back with Mako?

Or....there was a big calling for the couple Korrasami, that is, Korra and her female friend Asami, to get together.

Now, up until the point of the finale, (and grant that I haven't watched in a while so I'm speaking in an overall sense and recalling my experience) Asami and Korra had been teaming up more and more. Korra had been really, badly, injured in the last season, leading to her isolating herself in the SWT for about 2 or 3 years to heal with Katara, and upon heading back to Empire City, she takes an abrupt turn to spend more time isolated and on a sort of spirit journey in the wild because she didn't feel ready to face her destiny and her friends and was suffering from PTSD. She later returns to EC, and to Asami, and they are close together for the season.

This all caught the attention of the Korrasami shippers who had, at the time, kind of only been casually shipping them because, hey, wouldn't it be nice? and they were slowly and steadily getting more crumbs, and the ship gathered momentum as the seasons progressed.

But lo and behold, everyone else was saying such things as:

"they're a female/female ship, it will never happen, even if you want it to" (even shippers of Korrasami were resigned to this because the precedent in youth animation in western cartoons at the time, was of course, not inclusive of same sex couplings).

We SAW the subtle development between the two and DARED to hope and dream that it might one day become canon, even though we thought it unlikely because of the trend towards heteronormativity. We saw their interactions and toiled over if they were trying to hint at something more between them.

"They're just friends. You're reading into it"

Because the "just friends" behavior of Korrasami in later seasons were:

-Asami being deeply supportive of Korra when she was injured (and for a time, disabled) Like, literally, getting on a knee, putting her hand into Korra's and saying "I'm here for you, for ANYTHING you need" kind of supportive, even offering to COME to the SWT with her. (Korra sacrificed her desire to have Asami close because she didn't want Asami to drop her duties as basically a CEO to tend to her)

-Korra receiving letters from all of her friends during her healing period, but ONLY responding, in a very beautiful letter, to Asami's.

-Korra honestly apologizing for being gone so long without writing more than one letter or sharing more of what was going on or where she went

-Asami complimenting Korra's new hair and Korra BLUSHING and looking SO charmed(and returning the compliment of how amazing Asami always looks) --there is no hetero explanation for this.

-being battle partners and constantly having each other's backs

-Asami protecting Korra from pursuing enemies while she's in the Spirit World(leaving her physical body vulnerable)

-other characters in their circles being literally like "What's going on with you two??"

-Culminating in the final episode after the final battle with Asami breaking down, confessing that she wouldn't know what she had done if she had lost Korra in that final battle(she'd even lost her father the same day) AND THEN Korra comforting her and suggesting that they, the two of them, alone, take a trip together, to get away from it all for a bit.

-It ends, when They literally walk into the spirit world portal holding hands and staring lovingly into each other's eyes as the camera pans from them into the spirit portal

Which, LET ME TELL YOU, watching this when it first premiered, for the first time, WAS AN ALMOST TRANSCENDENT EXPERIENCE. It was a soft scene, emotional, beautifully animated, and the MUSIC just hit you right in the heart. Like, they didn't even kiss to really hammer it in that THEY ARE IN LOVE, however, it was an EMOTIONAL PAYOFF and there was NO arguing that they were not a couple. Creators soon after confirmed, yes, they are both bisexual women, and they are in love.

And so, you could definitely say that Korrasami could have been interpreted as just "Very Good Friends" behavior, of "Gals being Pals", and many people DID argue that, and would later claim that there wasn't "enough build-up to the relationship". And part of the atmosphere in media back then(esp. Nickelodeon at the time) they really couldn't be blatant about it up until that ending. It was even a thing that Nickelodeon had been kind of shooting them in the foot for a while with switching around air times, and eventually taking it off air and putting it only available to view ON THEIR WEBSITE. There was a lot of fuckery with the studio at the time, and It wouldn't have been far off to think that they had issue with the idea of this series ending with two girls together romantically.

..

It just kind of makes me think of people telling BKDK, not only "They're m/m, it'll never happen in shonen manga" but ALSO anything from "they hate eachother" to "They are toxic because Bakugou bullied him(blatant disregard for any current development of Bakugou's character) and so it can never ever happen" to "Ok sure they're becoming friends again, but that doesn't mean they love each other or will by the end of the story"

When arguably, Korrasami was basically given the same dismissal.

And my dudes, it's only gonna get more intense from here.

Like, Bakugou and Izuku are friends now(again). There's no denying that. They would literally die for one another. Their relationship, and the emotions between the two of them in the coming arcs will only be compounded, with how the last arc left off and how Izuku SUDDENLY left and how Bakugou has so many unresolved feelings, and how, like Korra being the Avatar and having to save the world multiple times over(and the PTSD she got from it), Izuku is carrying a heavy burden that Bakugou is determine to help him see it through to the end without LOSING Izuku in the process. Their stories are so closely tied together and they are SET to return to each other, and it CANNOT end WITHOUT them being together, in some capacity, even if it is just platonic.

So...I wouldn't write BKDK off just yet. We're at the same spot right now that Korrasami shippers were when they were starting to seriously think that there was something canon about Korrasami.

So, Am I saying that I for sure, 100% believe that BKDK will become romantically canon? Not really; the hurdle of it being a Shonen-oriented manga being actively marketed for boys, is admittedly a huge hurdle to overcome, and I, as an American, cannot begin to understand all of the cultural barriers, or implications breaking any of those barriers would have to a Japanese audience or for Horikoshi/his career as a manga-ka.

I still don't know what Horikoshi is thinking when it comes to BKDK, he's obviously very private and all we can do is speculate on what he feels about it; there's still a possibility, however small, that he may actually be the biggest BKDK of us all, and "telling the story he wants to tell" may yet include BKDK becoming canon(that quote may also have nothing whatsoever to do with any romance, but we don't know)...But, much like I was at the point in the Korrasami tale, I'm still painfully aware of the precedent that remains in the way.

Like the Korrasami tale, though, I suppose there is that possibility that we will see something completely amazing and groundbreaking, and I will once again have that transcendent experience where an unlikely ship suddenly becomes reality. At this state in the Korrasami tale, I had NO IDEA that we were shipping the real, canon deal, and it honestly surprised me, being that I usually attach myself to something that never becomes canon, lol(*cough*Zutara).

We're in the thick of it now, we just gotta wait it out and see.

[archeronduarte]

Can you tell us some more about Rose and Sophia’s relationship life?

Rose (homoromantic, asexual) and Sophia (biromantic, demi-bisexual) have an intellectual and emotional attraction. They have a desire to engage with each other due to their intellect and interest. Sophia absolutely loves the little arguments and banter that the two of them have, she’s always challenging and encouraging Rose. But they also have an emotional attraction. A desire to connect with the other on a spiritual level. An attraction prompted by emotional capacity, attitude, beliefs and shared experiences.

Sophia looks up at the night sky. A million little stars shining bright against the dark blue canvas. But what catches her attention every single time when looking up at the sky at night, is the moon. You can look at them without being blinded, like the sun. You can look at it and observe its beauty. The way it changes every single night. The moon is shining bright against the dark night sky, shining down on them in all its beauty. Rose had followed her gaze, looking up at the sky too. She sometimes felt like the moon. Underrated. Underappreciated. Not always seen. Sophia would agree, but for entirely different reasons. For her, Rose was like the moon. A bright light. A bright light that shines on all that is dark. A bright light that guides her through the darkness that surrounds itself all around them.

They both are very competitive and try to do everything in their mind and power to impress their parents, try to be the best at everything, trying to beat the rest. This is one of the things they bond over, after they look past their competition. They realise they can also bring out the best in each other instead of the worst by being terribly competitive toward each other - at first like friends but they soon realise that there's something more between the two of them.

The dynamics of her relationship with Sophia had been entirely based on their competitive nature and determination to be on top for the first years at Hogwarts. Until they started to connect on more than their desire to academically excel. Rose had never realised just how badly she wanted to find someone that she could emotionally connect with until then. To feel loved, appreciated. To want to touch and be touched. To hold and be held. Someone to confide in and feel comfortable with. But also someone to laugh and joke around with. Someone to innocently argue with over the silliest things. Now she had Sophia and it was more than she could have ever dreamed of.

Though they are both very competitive and education focused, they also bring out the fun side in each other. The one side that dares to let go of school and worrying about their grades. Something that Rose has been struggling with a lot since she has been a young girl.

Rose can feel her cheeks heat up again and looks at her drink, hoping Sophia won’t see it. ‘Thank you for getting me to put down my books and for taking me around Hogsmeade. I really enjoyed today.’

‘I was just trying to get you to stop studying so I have a chance of getting ahead of you again,’ Sophia says, a smirk on her face as Rose looks back up and gasps.

‘I knew it,’ Rose says with fake disbelief in her voice, putting a hand to her chest as if she’s shocked. ‘I always knew you wanted to get my top spot. You’re using me aren’t you?’

‘I wouldn’t dare,’ Sophia says with an amused smirk on her face.

They have a physical attraction but it’s not sexual. It’s purely based on wanting to feel loved and appreciated. To be held and hugged. To feel safe and comfortable, to feel like they matter and are enough.

Sophia buries her face into the crook of Rose’s neck, basking in her warmth. Welcoming it like a friend she hasn’t seen in months but has been waiting for day in and day out. She had never known just how much she needed to be held sometimes. Not until Rose. Not until she found her girlfriend. Now she just wants to be held by her all the time. She makes her feel loved. She makes her feel safe. She makes her feel everything that she had longed for her entire life, without knowing it was missing. Now she never wanted to lose that ever again.

Just for a moment it’s just the two of them and neither one of them can think of anything better than just being together in this moment. Safe and sound in each other’s arms in the Granger-Weasley kitchen. The air filled with the smell of fresh coffee beans. Silence apart from the ticking of the clock from the wall, the only thing that shows that time isn’t standing still.

After they graduate from Hogwarts, I firmly believe that they break up and it's a mutual decision. Both of them are incredibly ambitious and have a lot of plans of what they want to do and achieve in their first years after school - but their plans are very different and they wouldn't really have the time to spend with each other. Sophia wants to travel the world and Rose wants to go to muggle university but is also working together with Headmistress McGonagall on bettering the student guidance at school.

I do believe that at one point they find their way back to each other and they still adore each other so much. I have a wip that I started in which they find each other again after a few years (why do I have so many wips?). A very selfindulgent meet(again)-cute in a coffee shop, just to fullfill my Rose and Sophia Coffee Shop AU desires. I'm genuinely hoping I can share much more on these two amazing characters very soon!

I shall now shamelessly link you to fics that I have written about these two incredibly characters:

— This Is Me Trying

— Wandering Among The Stars

— Morning, Love

[sanstropfremir]

oh my god i am SO in love with lord of the dance. however i never think about michael flatley first when i think about it because in my mind gillian norris is the most important and iconic person in that show.

i used to have it on a dvd when i was little, i must have watched it like two times a week and never got bored of it. it was the original 1996 dublin stage, the only version i enjoy to its maximum capacity. fun fact, they came to bucharest in 2014, and i wanted to go, but ultimately didn't. and thank god for that. i found clips on youtube after that and everything was worse: the music, the outfits, the acting.

fortunately there are clips on youtube of the 1996 dublin stage too, as well as the whole show. i still sometimes watch them. and after much consideration, i have come to the conclusion that fiery nights, warriors and gypsy (however unfortunate the name) are my favorite numbers, in that respective order.

fiery nights wouldn't be what it is without the soundtrack, that fucking saxophone. i saw somebody say that that is what sex sounds like. i have heard the same thing said about ateez's desire outro. these things are so unrelated right now but i honestly can hear it and feel it for both and it makes so much sense to describe them that way. gillian norris is so mesmerizing, so captivating, like i am fucking seduced through the screen. and when she starts dancing with the guy who plays don dorcha and gives him that smile you can only see a brief second in shitty 360p quality? i am positively passed out. after they leave the stage the rest of the performance is kinda meh because the other girls don't give me any passion, much less the guys. they're lucky the choreography is so tight tho.

warriors is a fucking experience from start to finish. the "oh shit it's going down" vibe right from the beginning, the intensity of the dance, the speed, the accuracy, the synchronization, the piercing looks of don dorcha - i am both horny and intimidated. today's warriors number doesn't even come close to sparking up the same kind of heavy feeling the original did. it's so... cartoonish.

and finally, gypsy, which was my og favorite. i really wonder how i did not turn out bisexual, because gillian norris definitely made me question some things. i was always impressed with her elegance and power of seduction, my dream was to be sexy like her but also to jump as high as her for my birdies. sadly i never did learn irish dance. also i really wanted her hair.

special shoutout goes to breakout tho. i don't even know if i love the first half of it or the second more. bernadette flynn as the leader all the other girls follow, girlboss moment. her unspoken duel with gillian, exchanging those fucking murderous looks, i was SO there for it!!! again, watching today's version, it's like watching a bad disney channel series. there's no seriousness to it, no commitment, it's like putting on a puppet show for kids, which this musical is so not.

ugh, i'm probably gonna go and watch some scenes again. thank you for letting me rant in your inbox!! i've only really shared my interest and love for this show with my parents, who only like it a moderate amount (not because they think it's bad but because it's just not something they're passionate about) and my ex, who couldn't care less about dance and acting and who wasn't really interested in it.

if it's okay, let me ask, how did you get interested in stage performances, dance, theatre, all that jazz? for me, it was because i did cheerleading and dance for 5 years when i was little (then i quit because i thought i had it hard in school in 5th grade). i regret not continuing with it so much. and i daresay i was pretty good at it too. oh well, at least the passion for dance remained. it's the main part i got into kpop!!

it's no problem at all!! like i said, this is my virtual pub please come talk about about random things while i serve you a pint!! i love reading about other people's passions, this was lovely!

i only think of michael flatley because he's top billed and also one of the producers so his name is always on it, and also i haven't actually seen the whole show since probably 2005 because it didn't much strike a nerve with me as a kid. i think it was probably because i watched waaaaaayyyy too much cirque. i won't say very much on it but i will say that adolphe saxe knew what he was doing when he unleashed the saxophone on the world and we are still dealing with the repercussions (i say this lovingly as a saxophone player). i'm also a horrible person and i cannot watch any fiddle + flute based musical and not think of the the lord of the rings musical, because i love the lord of the rings musical.

well i got into theatre kind of unintentionally because i thought it might be fun to try doing stage crew for the musical when i started high school and then a year later i was the stage manager. my tragic flaw is that i need to be in a position of knowledge and authority at all times, but i’m slowly getting over it. i liked it so much that i decided at like 14 that it was going to be my career and here i am over a decade later. but i also watched a lot of perfomance and art programming as a child because my parents were weird hippies, so lots of cirque du soleil, a lot of classical ballet, and also shows like toy castle (do not click on this is you are in any way afraid of clowns or frogs) which is mildly horrifying in the way all children's content is mildly horrifying in hindsight but as a child in 2000 i ate that shit with a spoon. i also dated a contemp/ballet dancer in high school and then had a very weird and ethically dubious affair with another ballet dancer in undergrad. it's a long story. it helps that i'm truly obsessed with performance and art in pretty much all its forms and i'm one of those awful people that draws in art galleries and watches shows that i know are going to be bad so i can analyze them and avoid making the same mistakes in the future. kpop was a thing that just happened as a byproduct of being friends with lot of first gen asian immigrants as a kid. i've been around and aware since 2008 but i didn't get that deep into actually following releases until first lockdown because i just didn't have the time. but i'm glad i did, because it's been a really nice hobby!

[humanp30ple]

👽 Star Stuff 👽

Basic

Name: Stella-Marie Monroe

Nickname: Tell, Stella Belle, Star Stuff

Age: 17

Gender/Pronouns/presentation: agender, they/them, feminine

Nationality: American

Ethnicity: Afro-Arab and Irish

Race: Multiracial

Orientation: Bisexual

Known Languages: English

Occupation: High school student, dreams of being either an astronomer or a physicist.

Physical Description: 

They're a shapely individual who stands at 5’4 and weighs 123.5 lbs. They appear to be physically mature for their age with wide, full hips, a busty chest, and rounded, sloping shoulders connected by a slim, well-defined midriff. Their bottom is full and round and most of their weight seems to be situated around their thighs. They have tawny brown with a coppery undertone and that’s covered from head to toe in freckles, chestnut-colored eyes, and warm black, waist-length, corkscrew curls pulled into a high side ponytail with mall bangs. They have deep-set, almond-shaped eyes with full, rounded eyebrows with a low arch.

They have a heart-shaped face, their chin is pointed and their forehead is the widest part of their face. They have a strong jawline that tapers off into a defined chin and high cheekbones. Their nose is relatively small with a flat, round shape. They have a heavy upper lip pronounced cupid's bow. They have a gap between their two front teeth that they aren’t really proud of but refuse to get fixed despite how insecure it makes them. Their ears are smaller than average ears and are slightly pointed with unattached earlobes. They frequently wear makeup; their favorite look is draped blush with either an orange or pink tinted lip gloss.

They have large rectangular palms with fingers equal in length to the palm. Their nails are often painted in bright neon colors. They are right-handed.

They have a medium-sized birthmark located just under the left side of their collar bone that kinda resembles the milky way galaxy if you look at it hard enough.

Their most iconic outfit is a fuzzy, neon pink, over-sized, off the shoulder, leopard print sweater with a bright green alien on it worn over a fluorescent green leotard tucked into baggy, high waisted, acid-washed mom jeans that are rolled up at the ankles to reveal the fishnet stockings underneath worn with white high top Nikes. They are most often seen wearing a wide variety of brightly colored scrunchies. Their favorite and perhaps most iconic scrunchie is a hot pink one with neon green aliens on it.

Likes/Dislikes:

Likes:

Space and space-related things

Science fiction

The 80s and things with a retro aesthetic

Makeup

Animal print

Cursed images

Roller skating

Crunchy foods

Dislikes:

Inauthenticity

Bad science

Being lied to

People who act in bad faith

Being wrong about something and not knowing it

People who spread misinformation

Smooth, pasty food

Being considered ordinary

Favorite colors:

Pinks, greens, and purples, specifically in bright, fluorescent, neon shades; deep blues

Favorite Food(s):

Cheez Balls 

Favorite Drink(s):

Coca-Cola

Favorite Song/Theme Song:

Space Age Love Song by A Flock of Seagulls

Movies/TV Shows/Performances: 

Cosmos (the Carl Sagan one)

Star Wars Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back

Hidden Figures

Book(s):

The Dune series by Frank Herbert

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking

Favorite Subjects in school:

Physics

Planetary science

Favorite animal(s):

Opossum

Favorite place(s): 

The movies

The local roller rink and arcade

The local planetarium

Personality:

Charming, independent, energetic, and compassionate, Stella-Marie Monroe truly is a free spirit.

One of their most endearing qualities is their strong humanitarian impulse and extreme generosity with their time in helping other people. They feel their best when they’re serving others in some capacity. They love people and want to dedicate their life to helping people, whether that be through educating them or advocating for them.

They’re quite talkative and enjoy both small talk and deep, meaningful conversations, which are just two sides of the same coin for them, and are adept at steering conversations towards their desired subjects in ways that feel completely natural and unforced. 

People close to them have said that one of the best things about them is that they are direct and to the point. They say what needs to be said, especially when no one else is willing to say it and can generally be relied upon to be the person who won’t hesitate to call out something or someone they don’t think is right. Though they can be quite contentious at times they can also be trusted to be the one who preaches compassion and sensitivity and is concerned with ensuring the well being of others. They’re generally a good judge of character and possess the ability to peek behind the mask that others wear and identify dishonesty and disingenuous motives.

Many people have described their thought process as being unique, eccentric, and perhaps a little unconventional; with ideas coming rapid and often completely out of the blue. Reading fiction, especially science fiction helps give them food for thought regarding radically new ways of looking at things and heavily influences the way they view the world around them. They aren’t content to just accept things as they are and would much rather think about what they could be. 

They can become a bit impatient with those who are conservative in their thinking and unimaginative and those who are afraid perhaps to think about and try new things and ideas. Nevertheless, they won’t push anyone outside of their comfort zone if they truly don’t think they’re ready to leave it just yet. 

As they observe, forming new connections and ideas, they won’t hold their tongues – they’re excited about their findings and share them with anyone who’ll listen. This infectious enthusiasm has the dual benefit of giving them a chance to make more social connections, and of giving them a new source of information and experience, as they fit their new friends’ opinions into their existing ideas.

Ideas are at the core of their being. They generally prefer to work with the big picture yet still display a healthy appreciation for all the little details. When describing an event, will tell people what it meant instead of what happened and would much rather focus on the “Why?” than the "Who?", "What?", and "When?" When it comes to new ideas, they aren’t interested in brooding – they want to go out and experience things, and don’t hesitate to step out of their comfort zones to do so. Knowledge is important to them and they chase as much of it as possible. They’re always on the search for new information and enjoy passing on the knowledge they've gained. 

They firmly believe that there are no irrelevant actions, that every shift in sentiment, every move, and every idea is part of something bigger. To satisfy their curiosity, they try to notice all of these things and to never miss a moment.

Although they’re very open to exploring new ideas, they require some form of scientific proof before anything can be believed and have been known to call out bad science whenever they come across it. Even then, they enjoy entertaining hypotheticals and indulging in the seemingly impossible. They possess a strong imagination and a unique sensitivity to their surroundings. They often receive intuitive hunches and are apt to have vivid dreams. They have a deep appreciation of beautiful things and find beauty in almost everything. 

Many have noticed the intensity with which they carry out their activities and pursue their interests. Once they’ve set their mind on a goal, their dedication, determination, and commitment to it are extraordinary. Any attempt to deter them or make them change their course has a 90% guaranteed chance of failing miserably. Whatever they’ve set their sights on, they refuse to give up or let go of it. Some find their enthusiasm to be magnetic, others find it just plain scary.

Keeping things going is their strength, especially once someone else starts them. Their stamina and persistence are simultaneously their greatest strengths and one of their greatest weaknesses; they can get caught in a rut and refuse to seize new opportunities. There are times when they can come across as dogmatic and unyielding. They follow their own convictions regardless of what others think of them and won’t quit until the thing they’re pursuing has reached its logical conclusion.

What they have in regards to pure enthusiasm they lack in terms of concentration. It’s hard for them to maintain interest as tasks drift towards routine, administrative matters, and away from broader concepts.

They also have a habit of overthinking things and have a tendency to doubt their own conclusions. They’ve never been one take things at face value – they look for underlying motives in even the simplest things. It’s not uncommon for them to lose a bit of sleep asking themselves why someone did what they did, what it might mean, and what to do about it.

They are often described as being independent to a fault. They loathe being micromanaged and restrained by heavy-handed rules – they want to be seen as highly independent masters of their own fates, even possessors of an altruistic wisdom that goes beyond draconian law. The problem is: they live in a world of checks and balances, a pill they are not happy to swallow.

Ironically, despite readily advocating for the needs of others, their greatest weakness is that they struggle with advocating for themselves. They often have a difficult time saying no and will sometimes stay in bad situations thinking that they can somehow change the other person and then all will be well. Subconsciously they love to play the martyr or the savior who fixes people and as a result, people will often try to take advantage of them and their willingness to help. They’re a sucker for a sob story, much to their own detriment.

They’re a sentimental and romantic person. At times, they expect too much from others and then feel hurt if the other person doesn't come through for them. They have a strong tendency to place their loved ones on a pedestal, thus setting up the eventual disillusionment that comes when they discover that the object of their admiration has faults, too.

Their worst quality, however, is their refusal to cope with challenging emotions. Negative feelings make them uncomfortable. They have a difficult time dealing with their own or other people's problems and emotional pain. They often try to "cheer up" or offer advice to those who are hurting, but in actuality, they’re trying to avoid or ignore the emotions involved. This refusal to engage with their emotions in a way that’s productive causes their feelings to manifest in ways that cause problems for them, particularly when under stress, criticism or conflict, They frequently experience emotional bursts that are counterproductive at best and debilitating at worse.

[homenum-revelio-hq]

Welcome (again) to the Order of the Phoenix, Iyla!

You have been accepted for the role of non-biography character MUNDUNGUS FLETCHER with the faceclaim of  Tom Payne! We’re so excited you’ve decided to apply for a second character, as Caradoc has brought so much to the game! We really enjoyed how you included the differences between Caradoc and Mundungus and how that will affect writing and plot. Also, the slang terms were just delightful! 

Please take a look at the new member checklist and send in your account within 24 hours! Thank you for joining the fight against Voldemort!

OUT OF CHARACTER:

NAME:: Ilya

AGE: 32

TIMEZONE: GMT+1

ACTIVITY LEVEL: I’m pretty much still in the same situation as before. I don’t have yet a set schedule, but lately I’m trying to be more consistent with the time I dedicated to replies. I still fully intend to aim for more than a post a week!

ANYTHING ELSE: No specific triggers or squicks!

CHARACTER DETAILS:

NAME: Mundungus Fletcher

AGE: 31 (June 17th, 1950)

GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY:  Demi male. He/Him pronouns. Bisexual.

Mundungus doesn’t have a problem with the gender he was assigned at birth, but if he were to be perfectly honest he wasn’t sure it fitted him perfectly. He sees it more as a well-worn dress that while it won’t sit comfortably it is at least familiar.

As for sexual attraction, he noted from a young age that he was attracted to more than one gender and has never made a big secret out of it. But he knows when he needs to be discreet about it.

BLOOD STATUS: Halfblood

Officially, Mundungus is a halfblood. That’s what one would find written on his Ministry file, and that’s what he says when anyone asks. But he has Goblin blood on his mother’ side, making him a half-breed (¼ Goblin).

HOUSE ALUMNI: Slytherin

ANY CHANGES: Low Level member of the Order. Previously an Affiliate.

CHARACTER BACKGROUND:

PERSONALITY:

‘But when all is said and all is done / Jefferson has beliefs. Burr has none.’

Far from being Aaron Burr, nonetheless, this passage came to me when I first thought how to describe Mundungus’ personality and it stuck because of the simple fact that Mundungus is the opposite of Caradoc.

Where Caradoc has a strong sense of morality and personal responsibility, Mundungus has little to no morals. He is ultimately someone who has no care for society and its rules, be it laws or social conventions, and has a somewhat cynical view about life. 

Yet, he never lets this stop him from fully enjoying life. If anything, seeing the ugliness in the world makes him do everything he can to savour the good and beauty in it with a carefree attitude. In a way, he shrugs everything off because in the end he won’t let himself be tied down by things that are of no consequence for him. And thus makes interacting with him, when being on good terms, a fun experience, if somewhat chaotic.

Because of his lack of regard for social conventions and laws, he often acts antagonistic towards law enforcements and people that work for the government and in general showing a rebellious attitude when it comes to respecting authority.

He’s also far from being the crusader that Caradoc is. Fundamentally, he is  a coward, always looking to save his own skin. Looking for any way to avoid pain, imprisonment, impoverishment, no matter what he has to do for it. Even, say, rob the dead or sell light drugs to teenagers or jinx someone in the back.

On the other side of that coin is loyalty. While he would never stake his life for ideals, for a group of people like Muggleborns or Goblins, not even to avoid living in a world run by Death Eaters, he would for that one person he is loyal to. Bound to fealty, one could say loyalty gets in the way of his cowardice more than the other way around.

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY:

A sound mistrust of wixen and the name he was stuck with was all that Dardanos Datchery, manager of young witches with talent and too much trust for their own good, contributed to his son’s life. Mundungus has never known his father aside from the tales he heard from others, and no matter how pink his mother’s glasses were with which she looked back on her past with the wizard, it was clear he was a piece of dragon dung and someone better not to have in his life.

His grandmother, Cleometra Fletcher, was his role model and teacher. She taught him all he knew about conning people and picking pockets, and the two were thick as thieves—pun intended. Despite being a witch herself, she also taught him to mistrust anyone and everyone and to rely solely on himself to live his life successfully.

While officially, she was an ‘artifact dealer’, everyone in the underworld, and a few figures in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement knew that many of the artifacts were stolen and part of the illegal deals. Still, she lived to be a free old witch, still pulling a smuggling stint now and then.

More than a decade ago, his mother, Calypso Fletcher, had been known in the Wizarding High Society and all those theatre-loving wix, as Kallisto Datchery. A stunning beauty and astonishing actress, London had fallen in love with her. Wixen desired her and when all their attempts were rewarded only by smiles and giggles, maybe the occasional cheeky kiss, then rumours started floating around that maybe it was all a trick. She had to be a Veela; that was everyone’s guess, incapable to accept she could be a common witch or better: that she was actually part Goblin. 

She had left that world behind, finding it too fake and her part in it a role too suffocating to carry without killing a part of herself, and exchanged it for an old rickety theatre that had seen all of his chairs empty and her family. She taught her son the love of theatre and being on its stages, but most importantly she taught him about courage and family when she chose to reconnect with her own mother and to be one to Mundungus. A mother who was there for him, always, and would teach him about life and its trick, even if it meant to leave behind her fame and the man she had loved for so many years. It was worth it, and she proved it to him—always making sure he felt loved and safe.

OCCUPATION:

Mundungus’ dream was to become an actor, and once he graduated from Hogwarts he was sure he’d make acting his career. Only, it didn’t turn out quite like that. He spent six months auditioning, both in the Wizarding and Muggle world, but each time he was passed over for someone else. When he tried improv and little open shows, he was booed out of the stage and ended up banned by the manager from ever going back because of how bad his acting was.

Still, not wanting to give up, he worked as crew in the theatre for a while before being thrown out for substituting a sick actor and causing the whole show to get what is considered the worst review on The Daily Prophet since its first publication.

After that, he found help in Aberforth Dumbledore that let him work at the Hog’s Head Inn as a bartender for a while. But that job, too, ended when Aberforth discovered that Mundungus sold alcohol and other illegal substances to Hogwarts students. He was fired and banned from ever entering the pub again, a ban still standing.

So, he made crime his primary job. From pickpocketing to little cons, from burglaries to elaborate con schemes. All while still trying to audition, sure that one day he’d get his break. Other jobs, bartending, shop keeping, all were part-time, just something to give to the Twiggies* and the Minnies** when they questioned him about some inquiry on criminal activities. “I ain’t anything to do with that, guv. I was doing me job.”

Since coming back from Paris, in the summer of ‘81, he’s back to holding just a part-time job. Right now he’s looking for a new one, someplace he can be helpful to the Order.

*Twiggies = slang term for Aurors. **Minnies = slang term for Ministry Employees.

ROLE WITHIN THE ORDER/THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ORDER:

Low Level member. He used to be an Affiliate.

Albus Dumbledore started approaching him early on, before the Order was the proper organisation that it is today. Mundungus refused back then. How dare a pureblood wizard approach him for help, not even offering anything in return?

But Dumbledore tried again, after he ended up in trouble with Aberforth Dumbledore and got banned from the Hog’s Head Inn, only to be turned down once more. And then again and again and again, but each time the Order of the Phoenix was something that Mundungus wanted to have nothing to do with. What good could wizards do, anyway? So he would return any favour he owed Old D and then parted ways.

Then came 1971 and things truly got dire for Mundungus, Albus helped him once more.  This time, he didn’t know how to repay him if not by working for the old bag of socks steadily. Mundungus ‘joined’ the Order in an affiliate capacity, taking orders given directly by Old D and him alone—he wasn’t going to be ordered around by any other wizards, thank you very much.

As the years passed and the war escalated, Mundungus found a new motivation to be in the Order. 

In May 1981, he went to Paris and considered staying there, enjoying life away from the war. But he found that while his instincts told him to rebel against Old D’s rule—why should he take orders from him and do anything he said?—loyalty commanded him that he went back. So, when everything turned a mess in France, he rejoined the Order with his loyalty to Albus Dumbledore going hand-in-hand with the feeling that the war had now grown personal.

So he, begrudgingly, moved out from the shadows of being just an affiliate, to take a deeper and more meaningful step into the Order of the Phoenix, deciding that he’ll show them, he’ll show all of them—Death Eaters, Order and Ministry alike—who was better here.

His role is to gather information from the Wizarding underworld about Death Eaters and anything of interest. He also provides the Order with illegal items, or things they want to keep under the radar of the Death Eaters and the Ministry, much like his counterpart, Lucinda Talkalot, provides for the legal ones. 

He is also very skilled at undercover work, though, sadly, every time he tries to show someone he’s just rubbish at it. Yet, he still comes from tales he could have only heard or seen if he had been in the room where it happened.

SURVIVAL:

He is squatting at 133, High Holborn Street, London, the old building of the now abandoned British Museum Station of the London Underground. Having fitted the building with all the spells necessary to make sure no Muggles or passing-by Wixen could find him, Mundungus is the only person living inside. The only other tennant is the Egyptian ghost of Nefertiri, who resides in the old tunnels underneath but sometimes pops up just to scream at him when she feels particularly cross or happy or bored.

Mundungus Fletcher would be the last person one could see risking their own lives for something like the Order of the Phoenix, and this is because he hardly ever appears to stick his neck out for anyone but himself, often disapparating out of a situation at the first sign of danger. He is vocal about his lack of care for society at large, and he has never let his air of indifference break in public.

He also knows how to lay low and disappear when needed, along with knowing how to make oneself useful. When it comes to criminal enterprises, he doesn’t discriminate against clients. After all, making sure his hands are on multiple pies is how he gets the Order the information they need, and how he gets his cake and eats it too.

It helps that people underestimate him. He is notoriously such a terrible actor, banned from numerous stages, that no one would ever think the witch in the corner of the Leaky Cauldron, seated strategically close to hear a very important conversation, is actually Mundungus Fletcher.

RELATIONSHIPS:

For all Mundungus’ indifference and dislike of an entire group of people, when things get on a person-to-person level, he can grow quite attached to people without meaning to. Yet, this still doesn’t stop to sometimes take advantage of them or drag them into his own schemes, no matter how ill-advised that is. He is a mischief-maker, though he prefers to be backstage of his own tricks most of the time when it comes to pranks—all to avoid the possible ire of his victims.

Because he is never one to wallow on bad and sad things, he often tries to cheer people up, even if it’s just so he doesn’t have to be around misery, and tries to always find something to laugh about. He cares little to nothing if he is the focus of ridicule, since he has learned to let insults wash by him without having his pride or feelings hurt by them.

While in the past he kept his distance from the other members of the Order, now that he has committed to being a member, he doesn’t keep himself apart any longer. If anything, he’s compensating a bit, trying to get into people’ spaces so they know he’s not going anywhere.

Albus Dumbledore: Mundungus has mixed feelings about Old D. He’s grateful, of course, for the favours the old wizard has done for him in the past and especially the latest one, that allowed him back in the British Isles and back into the Order. But it’s a resentful kind of gratitude, even now. Still, even with the resentment, the distrust he still feels towards the man and being a coward himself, he is never going to betray the man. He can’t promise he’ll stop stealing his socks, though.

Lu Travers: It had all started with an “I owe you.” Lu got him out of a very sticky situation with the French and ever being one to stand this sort of debt, Mundungus found himself helping them get into the British Pureblood Society and passing for one of those old sacks of entitlement and perpetual stink under their noses. At first, he hated how that shiny world got another Muggle-born to fall for it, but then he found himself drawn into this way past what he had owed Lu. Truly, it was beyond him what they saw into that shiny world, especially because despite (and because of) the quarrels, jabs and insults, he was growing to like them. But a promise was a promise, and this might turn into his best con yet.

Other possible connections:

Adonis Carrow: It happened and still does, that from time to time, Mundungus comes in possession of some fine artifacts which he would much rather not have found on his person. The thing is, often he needs someone to tell him what they are and how much they are worth, and maybe even help him find someone that might be interested in buying them.

Alice Longbottom: One might say it’s a side effect of being in line of work that Mundungus and Alice are to ending up crossing each other paths. He was used to getting stopped, now and then, to make sure he wasn’t somewhere doing something that law said he shouldn’t be doing. Sometimes the person on the other side of the table was Alice Longbottom, and he was always amused to play the part of someone that didn’t know what this twiggie got up to when off the clock. Just as she had to pretend not to know what he did for the Order. Still, he really didn’t want to test her acting skills, if she ever were to catch him for one his personal missions

OOC EXPLORATION:

SHIPS/ANTI-SHIPS: I don’t have any set ship. Like for Caradoc and as a general rule, I do prefer to ship chemistry. But I do want to point out that no matter how it can come off, I am categorically NOT shipping Mundungus and Dumbledore (either brother).

WHAT PRIVILEGES AND BIASES DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE?

Since childhood, the whispers and rumors of what he was have followed him along with all the chosen insults that were hurled his way. Half-breed. Half wizard and half-anything they could imagine, anything that could be demeaning and hurtful.

His grandmother taught him to not to care much for those insults and to take revenge by making fools out of those wizards.

Because of those past experiences Mundungus has a lot of prejudices against wizardkind: they all think themselves better than any other kinds. The one exception that he makes are muggle-borns, which he sees more as fellow half-breeds. Until, of course, they also get corrupted by that same thinking. Just as some Squibs have been. 

He tends to use his own prejudices as reasoning and justification for his cons. If wizards are so much better than others, they ought to prove it, don’t they? How can they be better, though, if they keep falling for his cons?

These heavy prejudices are reinforced by the one privilege that Mundungus has in the Wizarding World: being able to pass as a halfblood wizard. His looks are not so distinct that they draw attention, and his Ministry file reports ‘halfblood’ in the field ‘blood status’. While, of course, some still think themselves better than Mundungus, it’s impossible not to notice how differently they behave with him when it’s halfblood instead of halfbreed.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO?

As I mentioned, I usually avoid Marauders Era RPs but Mundungus was my first love. Especially because I like to challenge people’s idea of who he is. Yes, he’s the amoral, cowardly thief we see in the books, but I also think that Mundungus is someone that has lost a lot. Lost friends and probably lost himself.

Watching the movies we tend to forget how young the marauders were when they met their demise, and how many of those that were in the Order died or disappeared. Who was left? Mundungus was, and I think surviving took its toll on him.

I look forward to playing him during the war with a destiny that is not set in stone. Maybe someone could teach him some morals, or give this Cowardly Lion a bit of courage. Who knows.

PLOT DROP IDEAS:

In terms of character-related plots, I’d love for Mundungus to start becoming loyal not just to Dumebledore but others within the Order. Seeing his cowardice tested time after time by this newfound loyalty, too.

Having Mundungus create a bit of ‘innocent’ chaos, by helping people with pranks and agree with any conspiracy theory it comes his way: the more absurd the better.

ANYTHING ELSE?

He’s a Gemini and a Slytherin: https://hp-aesthetic.tumblr.com/post/146954905907/gemini-slytherin-moodboard-slytherin-geminis

EXTRA FOR NON-BIO CHARACTERS:

PAST:

Growing up with his grandmother, a thief, Mundungus came to learn everything there was to know about surviving on the streets of the Wizarding Underworld, while his mother, a stunningly beautiful half-goblin actress, taught him to love the theatre. His dream was to become an actor, but alas every time he tried, he ended up botching the part so badly that even today, people are still recovering from the failure and second-hand embarrassment they’d felt that night. Yet, away from the limelight, Mundungus was a master of working under cover. He could transform himself completely and pass for a whole different person, conning people out of their money and any valuable information for future schemes. Unfortunately, because of the secretive nature of this particular stage, no one would ever know how great of an actor he truly was. Being, in fact, so good that, but for a few exceptions, no one ever even noticed they had been conned by Mundungus Fletcher. His face stayed a plain one, easily forgotten, and never associated with any of the many aliases he used. Never, until: Albus Dumbledore.

Flattered by the recognition but holding too much distrust of wixen, Mundungus turned down each of Albus’ offers to join the Order of the Phoenix and worked for the man only sporadically, when a favour was owed. The cause he believed in, why wouldn’t he want a fair and equal world? But because of his resentment against Dumbledore and those wixes pretending to care about the lives of halfbreeds, he only showed up to take his orders and carry them out—seemingly—reluctant. Nonetheless, whenever he succeeded in one of his missions, he couldn’t help feeling relieved and satisfied. Almost proud.

PRESENT:

After almost a decade working for Dumbledore, something big happened. Something that could cost him his freedom, perhaps life. Albus offered to help him—in return for a favour. A big one. Bigger than any other ever before. So it became clear to Mundungus that it was time to call it quits. Time to leave Britain, to take his mother away from all this violence and to give her the life she deserved. Paris seemed a much nicer place, despite the French, and it offered new opportunities. Yet, much like Leprechaun Gold—even though at first it had felt good to be out of the oppressive shadow of war—the world there felt lackluster. The novelty of conning French fools soon wore off, and Mundungus became sloppy with his work. For the first time in his life, he felt bored and nostalgic. And the Order and its cause simply wouldn’t leave his mind. The threat of Death Eaters and their vicious plans for the Wizarding World had not reached Paris at that time, it didn’t affect him, but still he couldn’t shake the memories of his time as an affiliate for the Order. Yet for a man with little pride, he had just enough to stop him from taking the first Portkey back. He couldn’t go back to Dumbledore and the Order, no matter how he missed them both. Hence, when a young Muggleborn needed his help to con the Pureblood Society of Britain, he gladly jumped on the opportunity to go back home. To his mother it was obvious that Mundungus had only waited for such an opportunity to arise, an excuse to finally accept Albus’ offer after all, but Mundungus insisted that he was being selfless, and solely doing this for the young Muggleborn in distress. Either way, he returned to Britain, let Albus wash his name white and in return paid his debt: he joined the Order of the Phoenix.

FC CHOICES: Tom Payne. Taron Egerton. Michael Socha.

I like how Tom’s face has this youthfulness about it despite his age. I like to think Mundungus’ face has this same quality of looking old and young at the same time, making it a little difficult to guess his age.

[beatlejuice64]

Destiel: Season 10 - A catalog of Supernatural episodes

A catalog of each episode in Supernatural that features scenes related to Destiel. This includes scenes between Dean and Castiel, scenes with other characters that address their relationship with each other, and scenes that allude to Dean’s bisexuality.

Season 10 Summary Analysis

Dean becomes a demon and goes on an extended vacation with Crowley. Cas is dying because his temporary grace is waning, but he still does whatever he can to save Dean. Cas has a chance to connect with a fellow angel, Hannah, but he gives that up in favor of helping the Winchesters. Cas embraces his humanity more and more throughout the season, taking a particular interest in helping Claire Novak. Cas also works tirelessly with Sam to figure out a way to save Dean from the Mark of Cain. Dean has trouble forgiving himself for what he does while under the influence of the Mark, and his self-loathing grows over the course of the season. Dean resigns himself to his fate, and after Charlie’s death, he goes off the deep end, almost killing Cas.

My interpretation: Dean and Cas both have people who develop affection for them (Crowley and Hannah, respectively), but neither one of them reciprocate because they’re hung up on each other. Castiel’s experience being human the previous season helps him make space to more fully embrace his connection to humanity, and his desire to be there for Claire ties him to Earth more than ever before. Cas also grows continually more distant from heaven as the season progresses. Dean‘s self-hatred and resignation about the Mark of Cain close him off from the people who love him, but he is able to resist killing Cas because of the deep connection they share.

10.01 Black

While talking on the phone with Sam, Cas says he misses Dean.

Crowley has grown attached to Dean during their extended vacation, but Dean doesn’t reciprocate those feelings.

Cas demonstrates his love for humanity while speaking with Hannah: “Well, perhaps I’ve been down here with them for too long. There’s seemingly nothing but chaos, but not all bad comes from it—art, hope, love, dreams.” “But those are human things.” “Yes.”

10.02 Reichenbach

When Cas finds out that Dean is a demon, he drops everything to help, even though Hannah doesn’t think it’s a good idea: “Castiel, I think the Winchesters are a bad influence on you.” “Sam and Dean may be a bit rough around the edges, but they’re the best men I’ve ever known. And they’re my friends.”

Crowley makes a joke about the nature of his relationship with Dean: “It’s over. What can I say? Crazy ones, well, they’re good for a fling, but they’re just not relationship material.”

10.03 Soul Survivor

Cas explains his desire to help the Winchesters, looking forlorn as he speaks of Dean’s current state: “Sam is alone in this. He’s attempting to change Dean from demon to human with a cure of sanctified blood, but there’s no guarantee that will work. If it doesn’t, then Dean is gone, and the demon must be dealt with.”

Hannah has grown attached to Castiel as they’ve been traveling together, but Cas doesn’t reciprocate her feelings: “Um, Hannah, you know this road we’re on, it’s dangerous.” “Alright.” “Um, we can’t afford to lose our way.” “I know that. I’m sorry about the map.” “No detours of ANY kind.” “Castiel, if these are metaphors and you’re attempting another human communication, it isn’t working.” “I’m just trying to say that this mission is everything.” “I know that.” “Getting to Dean and hunting these rogues... I’m not at full capacity, so I... we need total focus.” “Like a laser. Got it.” “Just, I’ve been around humans for long enough to see how easily distractions occur.” “Distractions...” “Emotions, feelings, they’re dangerous temptations.” “How very biblical, Castiel.” “I don’t mean to be unkind.” “You don’t need to be kind.” “I just... I’m trying to keep our priorities clear.” “Not to worry, then. I’m very clear on my priorities, and yours.”

Cas understands Dean’s point of view more clearly than Sam does: “Even after I gave him all that blood, he still said he didn’t want to be cured, that he didn’t want to be human.” “Well, I see his point. You know, only humans can feel real joy, but also such profound pain. This is easier.”

Cas visits Dean’s room to check on him, and Dean appreciates his presence: “You look terrible.” “You know, it wouldn’t kill ya to lie every now and again.” “No, it wouldn’t kill me, I just... you...” “Forget it. Well you, on the other hand, you... lookin’ good. So, are you back?” “At least temporarily. Yeah, it’s a long story—Crowley, stolen grace, there’s a female outside in the car... another time.” “Well, thank you for, um, steppin’ in when you did.”

Cas helps make Dean feel better about how he treated Sam as a demon: “I’m glad you’re here, man.” “Hey, maybe you should, um, take some time before you get back to work—allow yourself to heal. It’s, uh, I don’t know... timing might be right. Heaven and hell, they seem reasonably back in order. It’s quiet out there.”

10.05 Fan Fiction

Destiel is mentioned when we find out that the musical actors playing Dean and Cas (Siobhan and Kristen) are a couple in real life. Sam is amused by it, even joking about a pairing of him and Cas, but it makes Dean uncomfortable.

10.07 Girls, Girls, Girls

Hannah flirts with Cas and makes him feel flustered.

Hannah kisses Cas in order to convince her vessel’s husband that she left him for another man, but then she decides to leave her vessel and return to heaven, explaining Castiel’s influence on her: “Being on Earth, working with you, I’ve felt things, human things—passions, hungers, to shower, feel water on my skin, to get closer to you. But all of that was nothing compared to what I get when I saw him, her husband—his anger and grief. And Caroline was inside of me, screaming out for him, for her life back. These feelings, they aren’t for me, for us. They belong to her. I know it’s time to step aside. Goodbye, Castiel.”

10.09 The Things We Left Behind

Inspired by Hannah’s choice to take responsibility for how her actions have affected her vessel, Cas seeks out Claire Novak.  He explains that his worldview has changed: “Before, I was very self-assured. I was convinced I was on this righteous path. Now I realize that there is no righteous path, it’s just people trying to do their best in a world where it’s far to easy to do your worst.”

After Claire takes off, Cas calls Dean and Sam for help. Dean is reluctant at first, but agrees to help when he sees how important it is to Cas. When Dean gives Cas some advice, Cas demonstrates how much respect he has for Dean: “Alright, so spill. What’s with the family reunion?” “I dunno. Just been thinking about people. I’ve helped some, but I’ve hurt some.” “So you’re havin’ a mid-life crisis.” “Well, I’m extremely old. I think I’m entitled.” “Cas, listen to me. There’s some stuff you just gotta let go, k? The people you let down, the ones you can’t save, you gotta forget about ‘em, for your own good.” “That what you do?” “That’s the opposite of what I do, but I ain’t exactly a role model.” “That’s not true.”

Cas sees through Dean’s tough exterior: “How are you, Dean?” “Fine. I’m great.” “No, you’re not.” “Yeah, well, I’ve lost the black eyes, so that’s a plus, but I still have this.” “Is the Mark of Cain still affecting you? ...Dean?”

Dean confides in Cas and asks him to do what he knows Sam cannot do for him: “Cas, I need you to promise me something.” “Of course.” “If I do go darkside, you gotta take me out.” “What do you mean?” “Knife me, smite me, throw me into the freakin’ sun, whatever. And don’t let Sam get in the way, because he’ll try. I can’t go down that road again, man. I can’t be that thing again.”

10.10 The Hunter Games

Claire calls Cas out for defending Dean after his massacre: “Dean Winchester’s a monster.” “It’s possible there’s a little monster in all of us.” “You want me to trust you, and the fact that you’d even try to defend him just proves to me that I can’t.”

Dean expresses concern for Claire on Castiel’s behalf, and Cas asks him for help with her again: “Listen, man, if I could make it better, I would.” “That’s actually why I’m here. I was hoping you might reach out to her.” “Me?” “Yes.” “Seriously, I’m probably the last person she would wanna hear from.” “I thought there would be a connection. One extremely messed up human to another, you could explain why you murdered her only friend.” “Oh, well yeah, when you put it like that.” “All I know is she won’t talk to me. I thought if she understood the kind of man Randy was and the danger she was in, she might...” “What the hell? Why not? Long shots seem to be the theme around here.”

10.14 The Executioner’s Song

When Dean returns after defeating Cain, he entrusts the First Blade to Cas.

10.16 Paint it Black

Dean goes to confession and admits he doesn’t want to die, that he hasn’t experienced life to the fullest extent that he would like to: “Recent events, uh, make me think I might be closer to that than I really thought. And I don’t know, I mean, you know, there’s things, there’s people, feelings that I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time.”

10.17 Inside Man

Against the express wishes of Hannah and the other angels, Cas teams up with Sam to break Metatron out of Heaven, choosing Dean over heaven yet again.

10.18 Book of the Damned

Cas refuses to forgive Metatron for what he did to Dean: “I thought we were having a moment. Can’t we be besties?” “No. Because you killed my friend.” “Oh, Dean is fine, mostly. Can’t you get past that?” “Never.”

Dean is happy to see Cas when he returns to the bunker: “Good to have you back, pal.”

10.19 The Werther Project

While Dean is under a spell, his subconscious (in the form of Benny) tries to convince him to kill himself by bringing up the possibility of hurting those around him, naming Cas before Sam: “What, you just wanna wait for the Mark to reclaim you? Go out swingin’, die topside, then what? Maybe kill a few humans? Kill Cas? Kill your brother?” “You gonna get Sam and Cas to put you down? You really think they’re gonna keep that agreement? Come on. Dean, let’s say they do. Do you think that they will ever recover from that? It will ruin them.”

10.20 Angel Heart

When Cas calls the boys for help with Claire, Dean questions whether his presence is a good idea, and Cas insists he needs him there: “I need help from both of you. You were both troubled teens. You speak her language.”

Cas uses his stern dad voice on both Claire and Dean: “No fighting.” “Yeah, tell HER that.” “BOTH of you.”

Dean and Claire grow closer and become friends.

10.21 Dark Dynasty

Cas agrees to help Sam go behind Dean’s back to crack the Book of the Damned, saying he’ll do it “for Dean.”

10.22 The Prisoner

Rowena notices how rare Cas is for choosing humans over heaven: “You’re just fascinating. An angel that rejected heaven, that’s like a fish that wants to fly or a dog that thinks he’s people.” “Well, I’m a lot like people.” “Keep telling yourself that, dear.”

After Dean kills all the Stynes, Cas tries to stop him, explaining that his perspective on the situation is unique: “Maybe you could fight the Mark for years, maybe centuries, like Cain did, but you cannot fight it forever. And when you finally turn, and you will turn, Sam and everyone you know, everyone you love, they could be long dead. Everyone except me. I’m the one who will have to watch you murder the world, so if there’s even a small chance that we can save you, I won’t let you walk out of this room.” “Oh, you think you have a choice.” “I think the Mark is changing you.” “You’re wrong.” “Am I? Because the Dean Winchester I know would never have murdered that kid.”

When Cas tries to stop Dean from leaving, Dean beats him to a bloody pulp. Dean gets close to killing him, but resists the urge at the last second: “No, Dean. Please...”

[tmarie82]

Random NSFW ABC Headcanons - Edison x Fabien

Pairing: Niles Edison x Fabien Ahmad

Book: The Heist: Monaco

Word Count: ~850

Rating: NSFW

Author’s Note: A collection of Edison x Fabien headcanons based on the NSFW ABCs. My friend @mfackenthal requested a Dirty Secret drabble for one (or more) of my Th:M mystery pairings, while and anonymous requestor just asked for Edison x Fabien. Enjoy on this Thirsty Thursday!

Please let me know if you would like to be added to my tag list. You can find all of my fics in my Masterlist on my homepage.

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Edison and Fabien aren’t one to spend a lot of time together after they finish the act itself, usually only exchanging a few sentences and cleaning up before going their separate ways. However, there is always an unspoken affection passed between them as they say their farewells.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Fabien is a fan of all of Edison’s body, unable to deny that the man is extremely trim and fit for his age. However his favorite part has to be his neck and shoulders. He loves the way his broad shoulders fill out that sports coat, giving him something to hold onto when he’s dizzy with desire.

Edison can’t help getting lost in Fabien’s dark eyes every time they lock with his, which is rather inconvenient when he’s trying to keep a professional demeanor amongst other members of the crew. The way Fabien’s deep pools dance mischievously when he says something particularly cocky or the softness in his gaze when he is being heartfelt always captures his attention.

And even though he would never admit it to a soul, Edison can’t help sneaking frequent glances at Fabien’s tight, round little ass. But you didn’t hear it from me.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

In regards to the heist crew, they are each other’s dirty secret. No one outside of the two of them know about their little trysts, especially since Edison wants to keep his son Anton in the dark about his sexual tendencies.

Although Fabien is open and has no qualms about his bisexuality, Edison is new to this lifestyle. Married to Anton’s mother until he was in his early 40’s, he never even had the opportunity to ponder his occasional attraction to other men. But all of this changed one lonely night in New York when a handsome young man caught Edison trying to pickpocket him and their heated argument turned into a heated makeout session in the men’s room. Since then Edison has only allowed himself a few opportunities to experiment with men, most of the time as a result of too many Old Fashioneds, until Fabien … his cocky grin and witty dialogue intrigued the older man, and he couldn’t resist coming back for more.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

While this is not a topic that has come up between the pair, both of them each have their own distinct habits.

Fabien has a very high sex drive, often taking matters into his own hands. It’s become a bit of a stress reliever for him over the years, and he’s able to take care of business rather quickly if needed. Feeling a little anxious waiting for his crew to make their getaway? No problem, he can just squeeze one out in two minutes flat inside the vehicle while he awaits his team.

Edison, always the proper gentleman, prefers the privacy of his bedroom or shower when he’s practicing a little self-love. He tends to engage in this activity about two times a week, finding it really helps him relax and fall asleep quickly.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

This pair only does quickies, neither one wanting to get caught by the other crew members. In addition, Edison is still coming to terms with his sexuality and is struggling to let himself become too vulnerable with Fabien in a romantic capacity.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

These two are both stubborn and therefore constantly challenge each other, both professionally and personally. When Fabien is feeling frisky he loves to get Edison riled up about a job gone wrong, causing Edison to have to prove his skillset in a sexual nature.

On the other hand, Edison doesn’t play games and does not enjoy teasing … but Fabien can tell when his partner has had a rough day and needs to relieve a little tension.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Fabien’s cock is the first one Edison has really been able to admire in detail up close. Despite not having much to compare it to, he would be lying to say that he didn’t find it beautiful. Average length yet thick, he loves the way the dark uncut flesh slides over his erect shaft as he strokes him in his talented fingers.

Fabien wasn’t sure what to expect when he first ventured into Edison’s pants, never having been with a man almost 20 years his senior. He was pleasantly surprised to find that this reserved older man was packing the most gorgeous 8” dick he’d ever laid his eyes or lips on. Smooth pink skin adorned by a luscious mushroom-cap head, he felt his mouth watering at first glimpse. Fabien was even more excited to learn that Edison’s cock functioned just as efficiently as that of a man half his age.

~~~~~~~~~~

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[lgbtqiahistoricalromance]

YA & School Love in LGBTQIA+ Historical Romances

First off, I’m glad to say that the YA novels of today are teeming with LGBT characters, many of them MCs. That said, this is just a taste of a few that I really enjoyed or by authors you might not be aware of yet. @lgbtqreads is an excellent resource for more exhaustive lists, and also companies like Book Riot.

All Out: The No-Longer-Secret Stories of Queer Teens throughout the Ages. Short story anthology of LGBTQIA teenagers throughout history, from across the spectrum. Ed by Sandra Mitchell

- Take a journey through time and genres to discover stories where queer teens live, love and shape the world around them. Seventeen young adult authors across the queer spectrum have come together to create a collection of beautifully written diverse historical fiction for teens. From a retelling of Little Red Riding Hood set in war-torn 1870s Mexico featuring a transgender soldier, to two girls falling in love while mourning the death of Kurt Cobain, forbidden love in a sixteenth-century Spanish convent or an asexual girl discovering her identity amid the 1970s roller-disco scene, All Out tells a diverse range of stories across cultures, time periods and identities, shedding light on an area of history often ignored or forgotten.

Hayden Thorne novels are being reissued. She specializes in YA LGBT romance novels, many with fantasy elements, but all of them well constructed and inventive. I’ve read almost all of her novels in this genre, and several are mentioned elsewhere on this blog. Just, please, check out this amazing author’s work for some very creative takes on some of your favorite tropes, and ideas I’ve never read anywhere else.

A Place for Wolves by Kosoko Jackson

- Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe meets Code Name Verity in this heartbreaking and poignant historical thriller. (YA!!)

James Mills isn’t sure he can forgive his parents for dragging him away from his life, not to mention his best friend and sister, Anna. He’s never felt so alone. Enter Tomas. Falling for Tomas is unexpected, but sometimes the best things in life are. Then their world splits apart. A war that has been brewing finally bursts forward, filled with violence, pain, and cruelty. James and Tomas can only rely on each other as they decide how far they are willing to go—and who they are willing to become—in order to make it back to their families.

The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzie Lee (Review)

- A young bisexual British lord embarks on an unforgettable Grand Tour of Europe with his best friend/secret crush. An 18th-century romantic adventure for the modern age written by This Monstrous Thing author Mackenzi Lee - Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda meets the 1700s.Henry "Monty" Montague doesn't care that his roguish passions are far from suitable for the gentleman he was born to be. But as Monty embarks on his grand tour of Europe, his quests for pleasure and vice are in danger of coming to an end. Not only does his father expect him to take over the family's estate upon his return, but Monty is also nursing an impossible crush on his best friend and traveling companion, Percy.So Monty vows to make this yearlong escapade one last hedonistic hurrah and flirt with Percy from Paris to Rome. But when one of Monty's reckless decisions turns their trip abroad into a harrowing manhunt, it calls into question everything he knows, including his relationship with the boy he adores.Witty, dazzling, and intriguing at every turn, The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue is an irresistible romp that explores the undeniably fine lines between friendship and love.

Don't miss Felicity's adventures in The Lady's Guide to Petticoats and Piracy, the highly anticipated sequel!

Pantomine by Laura Lam (Micah Grey Trilogy Book 1)

- In a land of lost wonders, the past is stirring once more . . .

Gene's life resembles a debutante's dream. Yet she hides a secret that would see her shunned by the nobility. Gene is both male and female. Then she displays unwanted magical abilities - last seen in mysterious beings from an almost-forgotten age. Matters escalate further when her parents plan a devastating betrayal, so she flees home, dressed as a boy.

The city beyond contains glowing glass relics from a lost civilization. They call to her, but she wants freedom not mysteries. So, reinvented as 'Micah Grey', Gene joins the circus. As an aerialist, she discovers the joy of flight - but the circus has a dark side. She's also plagued by visions foretelling danger. A storm is howling in from the past, but will she heed its roar?

Ash by Malinda Lo

In the wake of her father's death, Ash is left at the mercy of her cruel stepmother. Consumed with grief, her only joy comes by the light of the dying hearth fire, rereading the fairy tales her mother once told her. In her dreams, someday the fairies will steal her away. When she meets the dark and dangerous fairy Sidhean, she believes that her wish may be granted. The day that Ash meets Kaisa, the King's Huntress, her heart begins to change. Instead of chasing fairies, Ash learns to hunt with Kaisa. Their friendship, as delicate as a new bloom, reawakens Ash's capacity for love--and her desire to live. But Sidhean has already claimed Ash for his own, and she must make a choice between fairy tale dreams and true love. Entrancing and empowering, Ash beautifully unfolds the connections between life and love, and solitude and death, where transformation can come from even the deepest grief.

The Unbinding of Mary Reade by Miriam McNamara

- A clever, romantic novel based on the true story of a girl who disguised herself as a boy to sail with the infamous pirates Anne Bonny and Calico Jack—and fell in love with Anne Bonny.

There’s no place for a girl in Mary’s world. Not in the home of her mum, desperately drunk and poor. Not in the household of her wealthy granny, where no girl can be named an heir. And certainly not in the arms of Nat, her childhood love who never knew her for who she was. As a sailor aboard a Caribbean merchant ship, Mary’s livelihood—and her safety—depends on her ability to disguise her gender.

At least, that’s what she thinks is true. But then pirates attack the ship, and in the midst of the gang of cutthroats, Mary spots something she never could have imagined: a girl pirate.

The sight of a girl standing unafraid upon the deck, gun and sword in hand, changes everything. In a split-second decision, Mary turns her gun on her own captain, earning herself the chance to join the account and become a pirate alongside Calico Jack and Anne Bonny.

For the first time, Mary has a shot at freedom. But imagining living as her true self is easier, it seems, than actually doing it. And when Mary finds herself falling for the captain’s mistress, she risks everything—her childhood love, her place among the crew, and even her life.

Breathlessly romantic and brilliantly subversive, The Unbinding of Mary Reade is sure to sweep readers off their feet and make their hearts soar.

Deviant Desire by Jackson Marsh (Just came out March 7th!)

- The Victorian East End lives in fear of the Ripper and his mission to kill rent boys. Silas Hawkins, nineteen and forging a life on the streets could well be the next victim, but when he meets Archer, his life changes forever. Young, attractive and rich, Archer is The Viscount Clearwater, a philanthropist, adventurer and homosexual.When Archer suspects the Ripper is killing to lure him to a confrontation, he risks his reputation and his life to stop the madman's murders. Every man must play his part, including Silas.A mashup of mystery, romance and adventure, Deviant Desire is set in an imaginary London of 1888. The first in an on-going series, it takes the theme of loyalty and friendship in a world where homosexuality is a crime. Secrets must be kept, lovers must be protected, and for Archer and Silas, it marks the start of their biggest adventure - love.

The Prince and The Dressmaker by Jen Wang

- Set in Paris, this graphic novel follows Sebastian, a prince with a secret. By day, Sebastian laments his parents' fervent search for his bride-to-be, but by night, Sebastian transforms into fashion icon Lady Crystallia! Sebastian's best friend and dressmaker, Frances, has kept his secret, but when the secret becomes too hard to keep, she may risk their friendship and Sebastian's trust for her own shot at the spotlight.

A Light Amongst Shadows (Dark is the Night series Book 1) by Kelley York and Rowan Altwood

This whole series is gold, but here is the information on the first novel...

James Spencer is hardly the typical troubled youth who ends up at Whisperwood School for Boys. Instead of hating the strict schedules and tight oversight by staff, James blossoms, quickly making friends, indulging in his love of writing, and contemplating the merits of sneaking love poems to the elusive and aloof William Esher. The rumours about William’s sexuality and opium reliance are prime gossip material amongst the third years…rumours that only further pique James’ curiosity to uncover what William is really like beneath all that emotional armor. And, when the normally collected William stumbles in one night, shaken and ranting of ghosts, James is the only one who believes him. James himself has heard the nails dragging down his bedroom door and the sobs echoing in the halls at night. He knows others have, too, even if no one will admit it. The staff refuses to entertain such ridiculous tales, and punishment awaits anyone who brings it up. Their fervent denial and the disappearance of students only furthers James’ determination to find out what secrets Whisperwood is hiding…especially if it prevents William and himself from becoming the next victims.

Originally, this list was going to include professors too, but they were already on a list and May/December romances will be on the list for May.

Adding a link for a list of best LGBT fantasy romances in the YA genre, because they have several novels with historical themes that I know friends/fellow readers I know, have enjoyed.

[hcro]

lily luna potter ;; biosheet

❝ and i will STAY UP through the night. and let’s be clear, won’t close my eyes. and i KNOW that i can survive. i’ll walk through fire to save my life. and i want it, i want my LIFE so bad. i’m doing everything i can. then another one bites the dust. it’s hard to lose a chosen one. you did not break me. i’m still fighting for p e a c e. well, i’ve got thick skin and an elastic heart, but your blade - it might be too sharp. i’m like a rubber band until you pull too hard. yeah, i may snap and i move fast but you won’t see me fall apart ‘cause i’ve got an ELASTIC HEART. ❞

basics

name

lily { lil ◦ ee } :  the name lily is of old english origins, it was taken from the name of the plant having delicate, trumpet-shaped flowers regarded as a symbol of purity and perfection. the word is derived from the middle english lilie, which is from the old english and latin lilium (lily). alternatively, lily is used as a pet form of both lilian (lily) and lilith (of the night).

“people with this name have a deep inner desire to serve humanity and to give to others by sharing money, knowledge and experience, or creative and artistic ability. people with this name tend to be a powerful force to all whose lives they touch. they are capable, charismatic leaders who often undertake large endeavors with great success. they value truth, justice, and discipline, and may be quick-tempered with those who do not. if they fail to develop their potential, they may become impractical and rigid.” [ x ]

luna { loon ◦ a } : the name is directly derived from the latin luna (the moon), she was the roman mythological goddess of the moon and is equated with the greek selene. luna can be used as an astrological name for those born under the sign of cancer, which is ruled by the moon.

“people with this name have a deep inner desire for order and physical creativity, and want to be involved in conventional, safe activities. people with this name tend to be creative and excellent at expressing themselves. they are drawn to the arts, and often enjoy life immensely. they are often the center of attention, and enjoy careers that put them in the limelight. they tend to become involved in many different activities, and are sometimes reckless with both their energies and with money.” [ x ]

potter { pot ◦ ter } : the surname potter is an occupational name for a maker of drinking and storage vessels, from an agent derivative of middle english, middle low german pot. in the middle ages the term covered workers in metal as well as earthenware and clay.

—

they named you lily luna potter.

lily was after a girl with hair redder than dragon fire, just like you. your grandmother was not only an extraordinary witch but a beacon of light. lily evans-potter represented the faith that unselfish love could defeat the greatest of evils: death. she had stood for kindness, for strength, for wit, and most of all, for courage ― the fortitude to stand up to enemies and friends alike, to forge one’s own path. the right path. 

but for all of her virtue, there was a certain duality to her, and the same double-edged sword cuts through your heart. you might have her capacity for love, but you also have her overwhelming fury and ferocity. it rages within you like a unstoppable forest fire, burning so bright that anything in the vicinity will be consumed in the flames – including you. sometimes you wish you could tear your bounding heart from your body, just so you could stop this unrelenting aching in your chest, once and for all. you don’t know how to handle your passion, your spark, and you almost feel ruination is all you know. and then a thought presses at your mind, so petrifying it makes your blood runs cold: you could destroy yourself one day. the brightest flames burn out the quickest.

luna was for a woman who carries a different sort of grit than your grandma did: the boldness to always be herself without remorse, without apologies. sometimes you wonder if your godmother ever tried to change. did she ever listen when the world told her what she ought to be? since the day you were born, humanity expected nothing less than greatness from you, and you don’t remember who exactly you were before they molded you into something else. you taught yourself to be fearless and brazen and strong. but even now that you’re following in your parents’ footsteps, you’re still not enough for yourself. slowly, you’re learning not to feel shame and regret when you look into the mirror, but you find the strength to steel yourself somehow, just as luna did. in front of the flashing cameras, you paste the roguish of smiles on your face, never letting them see the cracks in your armor. people are bound to talk. you’ll give them something to talk about.

and much like your namesake luna, you treasure your friends and family with all that you have too. it was always instilled in you that nothing mattered more than your loved ones, and you took that lesson to heart, sharing with them a softness that most people have never witnessed from you. they see the girl behind the facades you wear – the bounding heart you’ve learned to keep hidden away, lest the world finally manages to break it for good.

and everyone knows what potter means. whenever you walk by, people whisper. they point. you hail from the most famous wizarding family there is, and you wear your surname like a badge of honor. you are proud to be a potter and a weasley. the accomplishments your family has amounted are extraordinary. but that’s just it, isn’t it? all your life, you’ve chased glory and praise, but when your father is the wizarding world’s savior, it is impossible to measure up to the world’s expectations of you. you’re not enough, never enough.

you take pride in your name. but you are a walking memorial of a girl, named after a martyr and a maverick. you are never only yourself; you are the names of all that came before you.

and you’ll be in their shadow for the rest of your life.

birthday

august 13, 2008

“august 13 birthday - the horoscope of the sharpshooter

your greatest challenge is: coping with your anger and impatience

the way forward is: to step outside yourself when your emotions reach boiling point. this will remind you that you alone are in charge of your feelings.

people born on august 13 zodiac are no strangers to conflict and controversy. they are sharpshooters who always aim true, and their urge to break with convention compels them to take on challenges or make waves, whatever situation they are in.

the unconventional vision, resilience and tenacity of purpose that are key characteristics of these people can earn both the admiration and the disapproval of others. this is because despite the wounding criticism of those who regard their rebellious notions as ridiculous or fanciful, they always remain faithful to their beliefs. if life doesn’t go their way, they refuse to be crushed by disappointment. and as their unusual imagination is supported by solid analytical skills, more often than not those who start out disagreeing with or disapproving of them will end up admiring their bravery, even if not agreeing with their standpoint.

as risk takers, they have all the courage, discipline and energy to attract success; what they sometimes lack is perfect timing. they need to learn when to cut their losses and move on, when to be patient, and when to pounce.

dynamic and sociable, people born on august 13 zodiac often have a wide circle of friends, and their deeply felt passions and zest for life are incredibly attractive to romantic partners. however, deep insecurities underneath the bravado may block their dreams of intimacy and true love.

on the dark size: brash, insensitive, unrealistic

at your best: ambitious, resilient, courageous” [ x ]

lily came into this world only two days after her mum’s birthday, predestining her to a lifetime of comparisons to ginny. like her mother before her, she was the youngest and only girl, born at the height of summer, with hair as red as hellfire and dark, dark eyes. but anyone who’s truly paying attention could deduce the truth: there is so much harry within lily, far more than there is ginny. it’s uncanny.

because of the proximity of the dates, she’s never had a celebration to herself, and for a girl with two borrowed names, she finds herself craving something – anything – to call her own. would there ever come a day where someone would think of her without thinking of her crippling legacy? she loves her ancestry so much that she would never dare think of breaking free, but sometimes she’s not sure if she’s truly her own person or just a crude amalgam of her family.

gender

a cis-woman

sexuality

bisexual demiromantic

somewhere deep down, lily always had an inkling that she was bisexual, but it took several years for her to come to this revelation while she navigated through her internalized fear and doubt. it certainly wasn’t her family that instilled this as they had always been so accepting and supportive, but society had ingrained compulsory heterosexuality into her, making it difficult for her to find validity in her feelings for girls. she’s still not publicly out, as she isn’t ready to face the vitriol of the media, but her close friends and family all know.

much like her mother in her youth, lily has never dated anyone for long. see, while she often experiences sexual attraction, lily hasn’t quite felt a romantic attraction to anyone in years. there have been inklings of feelings here and there, yes, but never anything truly substantial. lily worries she might never fall in love again, a thought that terrifies her. but what terrifies her even more is falling in love. she’s a contradiction in that regard–she longs for intimacy but she’s afraid to be vulnerable. a highly distrustful and guarded person, she isn’t used to letting her guard down. to lily, that’s how you get hurt.

because she’s demiromantic (although she hasn’t realized it yet), lily needs to feel a romantic attraction, there needs to be an established emotional connection, a kinship. she will never have instant romantic feelings for someone. it takes time for lily to love you–and even more time for her to accept it. falling in love, after all, is opening yourself up to someone who might not feel the same. falling in love means making sacrifices for someone who might betray you. falling in love makes you weak and takes away your control, and that is what scares lily more than almost anything. so it takes a lot of trust for her to willingly admit she’s fallen in love, trust that is very hard for someone to earn.

when lily does love though, she loves recklessly. lily is always consumed by her emotions, and love is far from the exception. for those that she loves, she would eternally condemn herself to the depths of hell without a second of thought. she will bleed and ache and suffer without complaint to protect them. she’ll even kill.

blood status

halfblood

hogwarts house

gryffindor

there was never a doubt in her mind where she would be sorted until she let the sorting hat fall over her eyes. she expected to hear him bellow “gryffindor!” in a matter of seconds, but the hat took his sweet time, telling her that she could find a home with the snakes, if she wished to forge a separate path for herself.

not slytherin, she nearly cried out, clenching the edges of the stool so tightly that her nails sunk into the wood. clearing her throat, she whispered to the hat in a voice so imperious it could order kings to bow, “i will accept nothing less than gryffindor. that is where you will place me.”

the hat considered, lily’s heart pounding so fast it threatened to burst from her chest. “ordering around an all-knowing hat is definitely bold of you, if not incredibly foolish. have it your way then – it’ll have to be gryffindor!”

[ on pottermore, lily has been sorted into slytherin and gryffindor about an equal amount of times. at first glance, lily comes off as the quintessential gryffindor. however, much like her father, lily is someone who could have gone a different path into the snake pit, but ultimately, that was not what she wanted for herself. she exhibits the slytherin qualities of determination, resourcefulness, guile, and ambition, but she doesn’t value them nearly as much as she lauds her bravery, chivalry, and righteousness. and in fact, she scorns slytherin’s tendency towards self preservation. furthermore, lily’s black-and-white views of morality is just so very gryffindor at its heart – her quench for retribution is downright bloodthirsty and ruthless, but in her mind, it’s justice. she is perhaps the darkest and most dangerous sort of gryffindor – the way she sees the world is so skewed, but she views herself as right. whether she is a hero, villain, or something in between is up for debate; wickedness isn’t inherently a slytherin trait, just as goodness isn’t inherently a gryffindor trait. but she’s a gryffindor through and through.

i do think that she possesses many of the traits that salazar slytherin admires in a person though, as much as she tries to deny it. lily doesn’t hate all slytherins, but she remains prejudiced towards the house as a whole. it’s hypocritical and paranoid, really. for a girl so against bigotry, she treats a great deal of slytherins with disdain, perhaps loathing many of them more than they loathe her. the worst part is, she does see parts of herself in every slytherin, and it disgusts her. ]

religion

agnostic christian

religion was never an integral part of the potter household. her memories of attending sunday morning church are few and far between, but lily still identifies as christian, celebrating christmas and easter at the burrow every year. and there is no time better than christmas time in lily’s book. she loves sitting by the crackling fire with a cup of hot cocoa—topped with whipped cream and tiny marshmallows of course. she loves the smell of the fresh pine trees. she loves decorating the house with ornaments and lights and garlands. and if she’s in a particularly good mood, she’ll even attempt to help with the cooking and the baking. (but in all honesty, if she can make it five minutes without destroying the kitchen, that’s a christmas miracle in itself.)

nationality

english

student functions

dueling club captain, gryffindor chaser, s.p.e.w. club member, debate club member

dueling club captain

it might come as a shock that the daughter of two renowned quidditch players would rather be president of the dueling club than the gryffindor quidditch team, but lily’s never had her sights set on pursuing quidditch as a profession. she’s always dreamed of following in her father’s footsteps and joining the auror ranks, so dueling club was the natural first step to honing her combat skills. she’s been a member since the start of her hogwarts career, but it was only this year that she was finally granted that elusive captaincy.

with the sheer strength behind her spellwork and her stellar instincts in a scrimmage, she’s considered to be a dueling prodigy of sorts and has amassed a number of trophies over the years. her marks in defense against the dark arts and charms are unparalleled among her peers because she works so immensely hard to eclipse everyone else – she hopes that some glowing recommendations will prove to them (and herself) that she has earned her spot with the aurors. it won’t be handed to her because of her family name and influence but through painstakingly hard work.

but dueling club isn’t simply a means to an end to lily. there is nothing she covets more than the glorious burn in her muscles in a seething fight – the adrenaline rush when she’s high on a win. she relishes in the pain because it’s a reminder that she’s still alive, that the ice hasn’t completely turned her numb. lily always needs to be moving or else she’ll remember everything she’s trying so hard to forget.

the staff must think of her father and dumbledore’s army when they survey her demonstrations, but little do they know she and the rest of the club have tampered with the dark arts. “is it better to outmonster the monster or to be quietly devoured?” lily doesn’t know the answer, but she thinks of her father’s cold, cold body and the spell that stole his life. she’ll only call upon such terrible magic in the direst of circumstances, but it’s best that she’s aware of exactly what she’s fighting against as far as she’s concerned.

gryffindor chaser

quidditch might be less of a priority to lily than dueling club, but she still cherishes the sport more than she could ever express aloud. she loves the smooth handle of her prized broom, given to her by her dad on her eleventh birthday, engraved with her initials. she relishes in the freedom of the rushing wind against her skin, how alive she feels when she flies. (it’s hard to feel alive these days.) quidditch is her chance to escape herself, to be unfettered from all the thoughts swirling around in her head.

when she learned how to play, she took to the quaffle, not the snitch. lily can never see herself choosing to wait when she can still move – racing around the pitch and scoring goal after goal is better than squinting in the wind, praying for something to happen. there’s nothing like the excitement of the match to get her blood rushing. she knows that when they cheer for her, it’s not because of who she is but because of the points she just scored. there’s no better feeling than that.

she’s thought about quitting – who could think of quidditch in a time like this? but it was her father who taught her how to soar through the sky, and now that he’s gone, she can’t bear to sever that connection to him. so for once, she’ll let herself be selfish.

physical appearance

hair

red. the same red as her mother’s hair, although ginny’s has slightly faded overtime with age. lily’s has natural loose waves, but she has been known to straighten or curl it from time to time. it depends on her whims that day, really. save for one disastrous haircut when she was nine though, her hair has never been short. it’s almost impossible to style short hair after all, and lily adores playing around with different styles. her hair is most often–and unsurprisingly–the first thing people notice about her. it’s hard to miss hair that red in a crowd.

eyes

brown and almond-shaped like her mother. lily breathes passion and emotion, so it’s no surprise that despite her best efforts to conceal her emotions, her eyes are often the window to her soul; they’re so very expressive. lily will make deliberate eye contact almost always–even when lying–except in moments where she’s feeling particularly vulnerable. that is when she will look away. but the expression she makes most often? eye rolls. she’s perfected them over the years.

height

5’0. she’s fairly sure she’s already done growing; she’s about as tall as her mum who stopped growing around sixteen. lily isn’t insecure about her height, but she loathes being underestimated for it. she refuses to allow herself to be disregarded and thought of as a little girl merely because she’s small–as her uncle says, “size is no guarantee of power,” and lily is the utter proof of that.

weight

98 lbs

body type

short and petite

voice

energetic and loud—if one wishes to be heard in the weasley family, loudness is a necessity. and if she’s particularly upset, it’s not uncommon for lily’s voice to turn shrill, high pitched, and piercing. lily also tends to speak in exaggerated tones with a great deal of emphasis placed on her words, and she’s no stranger to swears either, often struggling to tone it down among her superiors. lily’s been told she’s mouthy, and it’s true; she talks a far deal, so much so that it’s hard to get a word in with her around.

gait

lily tends to move swiftly from one place to another, never one to waste time to stop and smell the roses; she has things to do, for merlin’s sake. luckily, she was blessed with grace and coordination unlike some people (hem, hem, teddy), and her posture is decent by all accounts except her aunt fleur’s.

piercings

ears, once on each side.

markings/scars

various scrapes and scars. some of them are from the childhood adventures she used to drag her cousins into; one particular time she attempted to climb the tall oak tree in the burrow’s backyard, which resulted in a concussion, a broken leg, and a large scar on her arm that she covers via magic and makeup. but the vast majority are the product of raging fights and heart-palpitating duels – they are her shining battle scars. she keeps them carefully glamoured to prevent the mirage of her delicacy from shattering, but the truth is, she’s proud of them. they are a symbol of every war she’s won. everything she’s overcome.

personal style

[ tw: sexualization of a minor ]

feminine. lily has always been very comfortable in her femininity, her aunt fleur teaching her from a young age that it’s possible to be both effeminate and strong. she is a strong believer that females should be allowed to dress as they please and not be discriminated against for it, and she loathes it when people write her off as a weak little princess for her fashion choices. lily most often wears blood red lipstick and nail polish–her battle armor in the fight against feminism. most people are surprised to see that a little girl with such “girly” taste has such a mouth on her, but lily potter is no princess in distress. lily potter is the dragon standing guard.

and growing up in the weasley-potter household, she was no stranger to muggle culture, so thus her clothing choices are much more similar to that of a teenage muggle girl than a budding witch. she loves dresses and skirts and blouses and crop tops, and don’t even get her started on stilettos. she has one particular leather jacket though, given to her by her brother victoire, that she actually doesn’t mind wearing—as long as she has her stockings and leather miniskirt on. she’s almost never seen without makeup on–blush, lipstick, and mascara at the very least–and she keeps her nails sharp and painted. lily has actually assisted her uncle with the wonderwitch line at weasley’s wizard wheezes before; she helped george develop a line of long-staying lipstick and nail polish. 

her wardrobe choices are considered promiscuous by the media. her skirts are too short. too much of her cleavage shows in her tops. she exposes her midriff more than she should. but lily doesn’t dress the way that she does to attract people–she dresses the way that she does because she likes it. she won’t stand for accusations of “distracting the males around her.” it isn’t her job to dress more modestly to aid their self control. if a boy touches her without her permission or uses misogynistic slurs towards her, she will destroy them without a single thought.

the media made the mistake of sexualizing her from a young age, calling her all sorts of names like whore and slag. her clothes are a “fuck you” to rita skeeter and the journalists at witch weekly. you want to see a girl gone wild? then that’s what you’ll get, darling. (the anger seethes in her body so long that it rots her bones – one day she’ll come for them all.)

headcanons

fears

losing more family, not living up to expectations, disappointing her family and not living up to the family name, never finding love, opening up to be rejected or betrayed, the thought of being afraid itself, being powerless or limited, not being in control of herself, being perceived as weak, not being able to save the people she cares about, falling in love with the wrong person, the possibility that she’s just as terrible as the people she loathes, not making it as an auror

her fears are most often abstract rather than physical, tangible things. in fact, lily’s boggart manifests into her body on the floor, trapped in a full body bind while helplessly watching a faceless person murder the people she cares about, one by one. the deadliest foes will not make her blink but the very thought of being powerless when she needs her the strength the most? it can be crippling. when she was first faced with her boggart in her third year whilst in dada class, lily froze for several seconds, absolutely paralyzed by the image, a fact she still denies to this day. she is a potter. she is the strong one. she isn’t supposed to know fear. (oh but she does.)

goals

[ tw: parental death ]

ending the war, becoming an auror, living up to her name, freeing herself from her family’s shadow, making the world a better place, finding a way to impose justice on those who’ve wronged her

lily longs to make her family proud of her, but even more so, she wishes to escape their shadow, to be seen as a separate entity. she wants to earn her accomplishments, not be handed them on a silver platter. she wants to make a change, a true difference. it’s idealistic of her, but that’s what she wants. if lily glimpsed into the mirror of erised before her father’s death, she would have seen herself finally free from her father’s shadow, being given the order of merlin first class, her proud family in the background. but now? if she were to look, all she would see is her father, standing right by her side.

amortentia

firewhiskey, petrichor, firewood, hot chocolate, broom polish, old books, roses, treacle tart, strawberries and whipped cream, french vanilla, the sea, chocolate chip cookies baking in the oven, cinnamon, cherries, cloves

patronus

phoenix.

“the phoenix is a difficult patronus to come by, and if you do happen to have it, it signifies a very strong heart. these people have been through a lot in their life, and have risen from the ashes of it and become driven, daring, and a bit stubborn. they will not let anything bring them down, because they’ve been there before and never want to go back to that place. they have fire-like emotions, and can therefore be a bit tense at times. they are natural therapists, wanting to help others get out of tough places to allow them to rise as well. the most common house for a phoenix patronus is gryffindor. the most common signs are leo and taurus.” [ x ]

everything in that description is so lily to me, but because i like to be thorough, i’m going to delve in a little deeper.

the phoenix is a bird with red and gold plumage–the colors of gryffindor. and although lily does have traits from the other houses as well, she is essentially the textbook gryffindor. their scarlet body feathers glow in the darkness, and their gold tail feathers are scorching to the touch, a perfect metaphor for the flames within her.

phoenixes are said to be capable of carrying tremendously large loads, and this also screams lily to me because this is the girl who’s trying to carry the world on her shoulders. she may be failing, but merlin is she trying. and the truth is, lily can withstand a great deal before hitting her limit, her breaking point. just like a phoenix.

phoenixes are symbols of rebirth and healing; they may go up in flames every now and again, but every time, they come back from it. they come back from it just as strong as they were before. this is lily. she is the girl with the elastic heart, the girl who’s overcome so much in her small time on earth thus far. and she will do whatever it takes to heal her loved ones until her last dying breath.

the phoenix song evokes bravery in the hearts of the righteous and strikes terror into the hearts of the wicked – lily is a person who has the capacity to save the planet from the brink of devastation or set it on flames herself. but one thing is for certain: she will change the world.

lastly, the phoenix is of course the symbol of the order of the phoenix. her loyalty to the order’s values and her family is unwavering, and to me, it makes sense that her patronus would also reflect that.

wand

[ tw: parental death ]

12 inches, cypress, dragon heartstring, hard

“cypress - cypress wands are associated with nobility. the great medieval wandmaker, geraint ollivander, wrote that he was always honoured to match a cypress wand, for he knew he was meeting a witch or wizard who would die a heroic death. fortunately, in these less blood-thirsty times, the possessors of cypress wands are rarely called upon to lay down their lives, though doubtless many of them would do so if required. wands of cypress find their soul mates among the brave, the bold and the self-sacrificing: those who are unafraid to confront the shadows in their own and others’ natures.

dragon heartstring - symbolizes power and wisdom. those who are strong, wise, compassionate, dedicated, relentless, resilient, bold, strong-minded, head-strong, powerful, ambitious, highly determined and driven (to obsessive), have strong desire and/or stubborn would have this wand core. having such a wand core suggests that you can be bossy at times, but also have a fiery disposition and have firm convictions, which will lead you down the road to leadership, as well as being devoted and selfless. this is the best core to have for hexes, the dark arts and all manner of elemental magic. it is a core predominantly found among those of house slytherin, but can also bond well with those of house ravenclaw and house gryffindor. as a rule, dragon heartstring cores produce wands with the most power, and which are capable of the most flamboyant spells. wands with dragon heartstring cores tend to learn more quickly than other types. in elemental magic, dragon heartstring cores are the most flexible of all the common cores, being that they work well with all manner of elemental spells, but no doubt that fire spells are among the most potent with this core type. while they can change allegiance if won from their original master, they always bond strongly with the current owner. such wands also tend to be easiest to turn to the dark arts, though they will not incline that way of their own accord. such wands are also the most prone to the ‘three cores to accidents’, being somewhat temperamental. dragon heartstring cores are a powerful wand core with a lot of magical “heft”. they are not the wand core you want for subtlety, but for sheer power, they are definitely the best. although they are the most common core among dark wizards and dark witches, they are most certainly not their most common users. dragon heartstring cores are by far the most common wand core amongst slytherins, but their power often bonds well to gryffindors and ravenclaws as well. however, they tend to overwhelm the archetypal hufflepuff personality.

hard - a wand of this flexibility is very difficult to work with and its loyalty is not won easily. hard wands are great for complex and advanced levels of magic, so beginning wizards and witches may find extra difficulty with this wand when it doesn’t perform well for simple magic. as such, this type of wand is best suited for wizards and witches who are gifted, stubborn, and never give up. owners of this wand also have a tendency to view things in absolutes; black or white. some people may find them intimidating or difficult to approach.” [ x ]

in classical antiquity, the cypress tree was a symbol of mourning, death, and the underworld, and it remains the most common cemetery tree in europe. her wand wood is not only a metaphor for lily’s name and all that her family has lost but also a poignant symbol of her underlying trauma – the early death of her childhood. the most well-known myth about the cypress tree is the tale of cyparissus and his beloved stag companion, who he accidentally murdered with his hunting javelin. his sorrow was so consuming that he begged to weep forever, transforming into a cypress tee, with the tree’s sap as his tears. as the stag is of course harry’s patronus, it all relates back to her father and her grief over him.

bad habits

becoming so intensely focused that she forgets to eat, over-straining or over-extenuating herself, being quick to anger, drinking too much, reality television, swearing, using romantic relationships and hook-ups as a means to feel better about herself, staying up too late, having too many cups of coffee per day, lying to others (and herself), seeing things too black-and-white, being too loud, over-involving herself into others’ affairs, letting her emotions completely consume her, placing blame where it does not belong (on both herself and others), deflecting with sarcasm

likes

peonies and roses (her favorite flowers, not lilies), pop music (she likes upbeat songs she can dance to -- her favorite artists are lorde, beyonce, rihanna, sia, and marina and the diamonds and she almost exclusively listens to female artists), quidditch (she plays chaser like her mum), reality television (a guilty pleasure), the sea (when she’s around water, she feels at peace for once for it soothes the flames burning within her), coffee, hot chocolate (it reminds her of christmas, her favorite time of the year), the color red, muggle literature, family, romance movies (another guilty pleasure though she’ll never admit it), french food, dueling, honeydukes chocolate, treacle tart (it’s her favorite, much like her father), alcohol, fashion, puppies (she will not tolerate cats), warm weather, fire, dueling, nail polish (she has a plethora of colors), stilettos, and surprisingly a great deal of “nerdy” things (such as star wars, lord of the rings, and comic books) but if you try to call her a nerd she’s likely to punch you

quirks

lily cannot cook at all and has set her kitchen on fire multiple occasions.

she loves to sing but is so horrifically tone deaf that she truly shouldn’t. (her favorite genre is pop.)

her art consists of poorly colored stick figures, honestly resembling that of a child’s.

for someone so fiery, she is very averse to the winter. three minutes in the cold and she’ll be absolutely freezing—goosebumps and all.

she much prefers muggle clothes to robes.

secrets

[ tw: emotional abuse, binge drinking/developing alcoholism, ptsd ]

lily has always been brazen and intrepid and fierce, but as a child, she was just a bit softer, before the world hardened her. unfortunately, growing up under the microscope of the media, she was still left vulnerable to vitriol and sexualization, and it forced her to grow up too fast, despite her family’s best efforts to shield their little girl. this is when her insecurities truly started to grapple her, but she responded by putting on an unbreakable facade and feigning confidence. when she was in her third year, she dated someone for the first time, a fifth year named adonis. he was utterly beguiling, like a python before it swallows you whole. at first, there was the honeymoon period where she felt as though she were on top of the world – a beautiful older boy was interested in her. but it was all a cruel game to him, and over time, he pinpointed her insecurities and used them to influence and control her in a manner that was so sly it took her ages to realize it. this was all while convincing her to keep their relationship a secret, so her family would be none the wiser, which isolated her from those who truly cared about her. after about five or six months, she finally recognized something was very wrong and broke free from him, but the emotional abuse and gaslighting left its toll on her as she came to terms with it. never in her life had she felt so stupid, so foolish, and she vowed to never lose control again. this heavily contributed to her fear of falling in love. nowadays, she never lasts in a romantic relationship long, flitting from person to person. she hasn’t ever talked about what happened, but in his seventh year (her fifth), she discovered that he was isolating and manipulating another girl, and she clandestinely struck with a curse that left him permanently blind. never again would he be able to touch her – or anyone else. she can only hope the taste of her was worth it.

after she broke up with him, she also started drinking at parties to endure the fame and trauma, savoring how the firewhiskey numbed her and allowed her an temporary escape from herself. it started out innocuous, but over the years, she’s fallen deeper into alcoholism as it’s very much a coping mechanism for her. while she doesn’t truly hide her drinking, she shuts down anyone who tries to tell her she has a problem. 

she’s still a virgin. she’s fooled around before, but every time she comes close to letting someone truly see her, she thinks about how she almost slept with someone she shouldn’t have. she’s never properly dealt with the trauma from her first relationship, but as far she’s concerned, she’s perfectly fine.

her confidence is merely a mask for her insecurities about not being good enough. fake it until you make it, muggles say, and lily cannot disagree.

she pretends as if she isn’t afraid of anything—as if nothing fazes her—when in reality, she knows fear just as much as everyone else. she simply won’t admit it.

jung type

enfj. (extroversion over introversion; intuition over sense; feelings over thoughts; judging over perceiving)

“enfjs are the benevolent ‘pedagogues’ of humanity. they have tremendous charisma by which many are drawn into their nurturant tutelage and/or grand schemes. many enfjs have tremendous power to manipulate others with their phenomenal interpersonal skills and unique salesmanship. but it’s usually not meant as manipulation — enfjs generally believe in their dreams, and see themselves as helpers and enablers, which they usually are.

enfjs are global learners. they see the big picture. the enfjs focus is expansive. some can juggle an amazing number of responsibilities or projects simultaneously.many enfjs have tremendous entrepreneurial ability.

enfjs are, by definition, js, with whom we associate organization and decisiveness. but they don’t resemble the sjs or even the ntjs in organization of the environment nor occasional recalcitrance. enfjs are organized in the arena of interpersonal affairs. their offices may or may not be cluttered, but their conclusions (reached through feelings) about people and motives are drawn much more quickly and are more resilient than those of their nfp counterparts.

enfjs know and appreciate people. like most nfs, (and feelers in general), they are apt to neglect themselves and their own needs for the needs of others. they have thinner psychological boundaries than most, and are at risk for being hurt or even abused by less sensitive people. enfjs often take on more of the burdens of others than they can bear.” [ x ]

moral alignment

chaotic good.

“chaotic stands overall for freedom and adaptability, and especially chaotic good embodies that. characters of this alignment disdain bureaucratic organisations that get in the way of social improvement and place high value on personal freedom - but not just their own, but the personal freedom of others as well. since they are on the good axis, they are altruistic and intend to do what is right, regardless of what society may think of it, or whether they go against the law while doing it. think of a vigilante that’s a champion of the people, but frequently breaks the law helping people. they’re not much for planning and extensive organisation versus improvisation, and may create conflict in a team if they feel being pushed around (by, for instance, a lawful character). chaotic good characters might best work independently for that reason, or at least with someone who will respect their personal boundaries.

traits: rebellious, free-spirited, listens to their conscience, follows own moral compass, independent, kind, benevolent, believes in goodness, cares little for laws and regulations, good-natured, unpredictable, value freedom, believe people should follow their own desires, responsible, doubt their government, reckless

positives: combines a good heart with a free spirit, encourages selflessness, encourages freedom and equality, doing good is not seen as a duty, doing good is their responsibility, punishes evil and protects the innocent, keep their word, helps those in need, never kills for pleasure

negatives: disrupts the order of society, punishes those who do well for themselves, often resent authority, refuse to do good as a duty even if they end up doing it anyway on their own terms, promote society with little control from the government, occasionally breaks the law, may resort to torture when deemed necessary, may kill when deemed necessary” [ x ]

temperament

choleric.

“the choleric is an extroverted, hot-tempered, quick thinking, active, practical, strong-willed and easily annoyed person. cholerics are self-confident, self-sufficient and very independent minded. they are decisive and opinionated and find it easy to make decisions for themselves as well as others. cholerics tend to leave little room for negotiating. the choleric is a visionary and seems to never run out of ideas, plans and goals, which are usually very practical. the choleric does not require as much sleep as the other temperaments so their activity seems endless. their activity almost always has a purpose because they are by nature result-oriented. they usually do not give in to the pressure of what others think unless they see that they cannot get the desired results. cholerics can be crusaders against social injustice as they love to fight for a cause. cholerics are both direct and firm when responding to others. they are slow to build relationships because results tend to be more important than people. they do not easily empathize with the feelings of others or show compassion. cholerics think big and seek positions of authority.” [ x ]

enneagram

type eight (with a type seven wing).

“the powerful, dominating type:

self-confident, decisive, willful, and confrontational

generally, eights are strong, assertive, resourceful, independent, determined, action-oriented, pragmatic, competitive, straight-talking, shrewd, and insistent.

eights get into conflicts by being blunt, willful, domineering, forceful, defiant, confrontational, bad-tempered, rageful, cynical, and vengeful.

at their best, eights are honorable, heroic, empowering, generous, gentle, constructive, initiating, decisive, and inspiring.

enneagram type 8 with the 7 wing desire to appear commanding and see themselves as outspoken, innovative, intense, daring, striking, attractive and tenderhearted.

basic fear: of being harmed or controlled by others.

basic desire: to protect themselves, to be in control of their own life and destiny.

basic motivations: want to be self-reliant, to prove their strength and resist weakness, to be important in their world, to dominate the environment, and to stay in control of their situation.

stress point: type five - withdraws, avoids people, observes and thinks, consolidates plans.

security point: type two - protector of the weak, generous, helpful, charming.” [ x ]

soul type

the warrior.

the source i used for this one was another long page [ x ], so i’m just going to copy and paste the quotes that seemed particularly lily-ish.

“warriors are forceful souls; they embody qualities of strength, courage and determination. like kings, warriors are action-oriented beings, and therefore down-to-earth, single-minded and very willful. unlike kings, however, they tend to be more attracted to the cut and thrust of battle (whether real or metaphorical), preferring to just get stuck in rather than to stand back pulling all the strings.”

“warrior souls tend to see life in terms of confrontations and rising to the challenge. there are causes to serve, struggles to be overcome, battles to be won. they like to be on the front line with their trusted comrades, and strongly value both courage and loyalty. the basic drive of any warrior is to uphold something “right” and defeat something “wrong”, however those two are defined.”

“in the positive pole, persuasion, a warrior is forceful and effective without being overbearing. in other words, respectfully persuasive, courageous and protective. in the negative pole, coercion, the warrior descends into intimidation.”

zodiac

her sun sign is leo.

“the lion.

fixed, fire, yang - planetary ruler: the sun. keywords: i will

leo is the fifth sign of the zodiac and rules the back, the spine, and the heart. positive traits include creativity, charisma, generosity, warmth, enthusiasm, a natural talent for leadership, and a great deal of inner power; negative traits are haughtiness, snobbery, an expectation that one is the centre of attention and should be waited on by everyone else, profligacy, lack of realism, dominance that can lead to bullying, and a refusal to change one’s mind even in the face of solid facts.

this is a natural sign for gryffindors, not least because the griffin is part lion. gryffindors born under this sign are outgoing, friendly, affectionate, and likeable. they make friends easily and are crushed when their advances are rejected. their romantic, chivalrous nature makes them perfect examples of all that is best in their house. however, they are also bossy, domineering, spendthrift, and overly dramatic (ever heard the phrase ‘drama queen?’) they have sharp tempers and need to learn to direct their anger toward only needful causes. the natural creativity and flamboyance of leo makes gryffindors born under this sign good at most everything they attempt, provided they apply themselves to learning magic rather than using magic to hog the limelight.” [ x ]

her moon sign is scorpio, a fixed water sign. the moon sign explanation i’m using [ x ] is particularly long, so i’m not going to copy and paste the whole thing, but here are some things on there that i feel really apply to lily.

“because the depth of your emotions – their strength and potential power – can be so intense, they can at times be overwhelming. early on in life, you may find yourself swinging between extremes of emotional peaks and troughs, feeling intensely and acutely every dimension of life. you are reminded not to collapse yourself into your emotions, or believe just because an emotion has intensity it must be acted upon. part of your nature requires you to allow strong feelings to unfold without being overcome by them.”

“you feel intensely, for better or for worse. this can at times make you seem vulnerable, but in truth you are likely to have much strength. your emotional nature combines sensitivity with the instinctual awareness that real growth only happens through episodes of pain and transformation.”

“there may be a tendency to try and protect this vulnerability, hiding the true depths of what you really feel. this tendency to suppress your emotions can go both ways. on the one hand, you may try to detach from uncomfortable emotions, and avoid circumstances that will really get you to feel. you may protect yourself from close encounters with others, and find emotional release through fictional or fantasy-based sources. or, you may attempt to control and dominate others with moodiness, lashing out at them before they can ‘get to you’. defense is used as a form of offense to prevent others discovering how sensitive and vulnerable you really feel.”

“at its highest level, the moon in scorpio gives you the ability to transform your own and others lives. you can act as an agent for change to become a catalyst for greater growth and awareness. you can help others shift their psychological values. the potential power contained here is enormous. you have the opportunity to be a force for change.”

lastly her ascendant sign is aries, with mars also in aries. again, the page i’m using [ x ] is long, so i’m just going to copy and paste some things that stand out to me.

“people with aries ascendants are direct and quick. their first instinct is to do, rather than think.”

“some aries rising people are competitive, but they generally put most of the pressure on themselves. these people love to come out ahead in all that they do. they get ready quickly, walk quickly, and have little patience for dilly-dallying. their temper is quick, too.”

“your ruling planet, mars, is also in aries: you are a fireball of vitality and a true warrior. become a master of yourself and conquer your own arrogance, impatience, and anger before you go out to conquer the world or burn yourself out.”  

tropes

action girl, chronic hero syndrome, determinator, good is not soft, tsundere, lady of adventure, red is heroic, fool for love, the idealist, rebellious spirit, lethal chef, go-getter girl, fiery redhead

character parallels

blossom (powerpuff girls), barbara gordon (batman comics), rose hathaway (vampire academy), buffy summers (buffy: the vampire slayer), anastasia (anastasia 1997), leia organa (star wars), mary jane watson (spiderman), nina zenik (six of crows), kim possible (kim possible), kayley (quest for camelot), sabrina spellman (chilling adventures of sabrina), arya stark (a song of ice and fire), rey (star wars)

element

fire

lily is the living embodiment of fire – most of the time, she is a seething forest fire, and all she knows is destruction. but some days, she’s reduced down to a mere spark, a flicker. no matter what though, she’s always burning.

deadly sin

wrath

she is choleric and vindictive and ferocious and wicked. she knows this, and deep down, she’s utterly terrified that she might truly be a horrible person. she wasn’t always this bitter, this cruel, but she is never going to be the girl she once was. she isn’t ever coming back.

heavenly virtue

charity

lily isn’t infallible – she’s a teenage girl after all – but she’s surprisingly selfless when it comes to the people she cares about. she’d do just about anything for them. hell, she’d sacrifice herself for any of them without hesitation if it ever came down to it. her wand wood is cypress for a reason.

history

birthplace

st. mungo’s hospital

residence

godric’s hallow

socioeconomic status

upper class, wealthy

pets

a little cairn terrier named toto

lily is such a dog person – once during her first year she and hagrid tried to sneak in another three-headed puppy into hogwarts; he was a vicious little thing named buddy (because these two consider any dog their buddy, even if it could bite their head off). but minerva mcgonagall caught her in the nick of time and the poor headmistress chewed them out so loudly that the hogsmeade villagers most likely heard. and buddy was given back to his original owner. but now lily owns a little cairn terrier who means the world to her – the only boy she’s ever loved, or so she claims. his name is toto because he looks suspiciously like toto from wizard of oz, a favorite childhood movie of hers, and he was given to lily last year by her close friend, clarabel, who’s particularly talented at conjuring animals. curiously, his personality and disposition almost mirrors clarabel’s, most likely because she was the one who brought him to life. as toto isn’t technically “real” (please don’t say this to her), he does not age and could disappear at any given moment, which was the only reason why she was allowed to bring him to hogwarts. granted, it took several impassioned speeches to mcgonagall that went something along the lines of “albus is allowed to bring a ferret, but i can’t bring a dog? ferrets carry diseases, headmistress!” it’s almost remarkable how a girl this hardened can be so soft in the presence of dogs.

father

[ tw: parental death ]

lily adored her father to the point of idolization. from a young age, lily became convinced that he could do no wrong, that he was impervious to evil and completely invincible. he was the savior of the wizarding world. the world’s hero. her hero. she would have followed him to the end of the world. it is because of him that she has always dreamed of becoming an auror. she wanted to make him proud, and moreover, she wants to do some good in the world herself. however, her idolization of her father certainly has its negative effects; she puts him on so high of a pedestal that she can’t admit his faults, especially now. not to mention, she’s so concerned about not living up to the expectations of the potter name and is convinced she will never be able to. she will never live up to her dad. and she will spend the rest of her life not knowing how proud of her he really was.

mother

her relationship with her mother is much healthier than her relationship with her father. although she’s always been a bit closer to harry, ginny and lily are still close to each other, and ginny is most protective over her youngest daughter because she always longed for a girl. while harry taught her how to fly, it was ginny who taught her how to play quidditch. lily inherited her natural chaser skills (among other things). lily would confide in her mother almost anything. yes, they do argue because their personalities are both so strong, but there is complete trust and respect between the two of them.

siblings

in the potter-weasley clan, family is valued over anything, and her older siblings are no exception. although they are older in age, lily is viciously protective over them. she watches out for them because she needs them—she needs albus and james. she has no clue what she’d do without her brothers around, but she never wants to find out. lily would lay down her lives for them in a heartbeat, no hesitation at all, no questions asked. because if it’s between them or her, she’d choose herself every time. they have their rows–all siblings do–but at the end of the day, she’s with them until the end of the line.

early history

i. rooting

your relatives always tell the same little anecdotes about your birth. after all those times you hear them over family dinner, birthday parties, the frequent family outings ― any time and place your parents could embarrass you, honestly ― you memorize them.

mum will always go on and on about the pain, how it felt like “a bloody watermelon was coming out of my birth canal,” and dad will always reminisce about how she cursed like a sailor at him every five minutes for “putting this goddamn demon baby in my tiny stomach” and how she threatened to strangle him later. uncle ron will always talk about how he almost fainted when you came out of mum because holy crap the blood. and of course, grandma will always reprimand them for exaggerating and reassure everyone that mum never once called you a demon.

but here’s the part that always sticks to you the most: you were the hardest, most painful birth out of the three. when your mother finally did manage to push you out, you kicked and screamed and cried, and she looked at you and faintly murmured, still weak from the pain, “that’s it. i’m done.”

and you are their final child.

✿ ❀ ✿ ❀ ✿

the youngest and smallest daughter of a prodigious family, you grow up showered with unadulterated affection and care ― you are so loved that you could drown in its depths. there is never a single moment you doubt just how much they cherish you. it’s in every bear hug, every kiss to your forehead, every pinched cheek. they love you more than the world itself, giving you everything that they have, teaching you all that they know.

grandpa instills in you a curiosity and compassion for the mortal world, like the foolhardy little mermaid’s fascination with the shore up above. “just because they don’t share the same powers we do doesn’t mean they’re magicless,” he insists. “everyone has magic flowing inside of their veins. there are people out there who somehow manage to remember every tune on the radio, children who always know how to make their big siblings laugh, grandmas who always brew a perfect cup of tea. you don’t think there’s something magic to that? all you have to do is look, lils. you’ll see it.”

grandma tries to teach you how to cook, but you’re so quickly infuriated in the kitchen that your magic bubbles to a boil as steaming as dragon fire. before you can stop it, it bursts through the seams of your body and sets the food alight. every damn time. after aquamenti’s spluttered out for the fifteenth time amongst the thick and engulfing smoke, molly just heaves a sigh and shakes her head. “well, we’ll try again when you’re older, darling.” (why is it so much easier for you to destroy than create? sometimes you feel as though you are ruination entrapped in a tiny slip of a girl as it pounds and hollers to be set free. nurture is the gene that you failed to inherit, and it haunts you.)

but mum shows you how to wield those flames inside of you, to take the destruction and demolition thumping in your chest and weaponize it. “your family will always be here to fight for you, but it’s still important that you learn how to fend for yourself.” you learn how to fight tooth and nail. the muggle way, without the divinity of a wand. you’re the spitting image of your mother, small as they come, but size is no guarantee of power. you know that well. when you play make believe, you never demand to be the princess but the knight in shining armor, sword and shield in hand.

from your uncle ron, you learn to have courage in the presence of fear, and from aunt hermione, social justice and protest. uncle bill and aunt fleur teach you that inner beauty is as valuable, if not more, than outer beauty. uncle charlie shows you that there was no harm in a little (or a lot of) danger. uncle george and fred illustrate the indispensable power of laughter and tomfoolery ― what good’s existence if you don’t know how to live? uncle percy’s lesson is perhaps the most important, a lesson he almost understood too late: never to abandon your family. “always remember this, lily, we all love you so much no matter what.” percy stresses.

they love you.

and your dad ― he teaches you how to love them back.

ii. rising

then you’re a little ten-year-old upset that your brothers, your godbrother, and your cousins have left you. in the dust. for a castle ― a magical castle where there are ghosts and trolls and a talking hat. a talking sorting hat who somehow shoulders the responsibility of deciding your entire fucking future. (gryffindor? oh merlin, please, gryffindor.)

and most of them can’t even be bothered to pick up the quill and properly write.

but you don’t cry over these things, see? you never cry. (everyone says you’re like your mum. she never cries. dad secretly likes that about mum. dad isn’t much for tears.)

dad doesn’t mind if you cry, he says, but you don’t want to bother him. he’s a weary war hero, even if he pretends to not be for you. he’s had enough. he’s seen enough. he’s felt enough pain for a lifetime. and all is finally well for him, apparently.

you don’t want him to have to deal with your problems.

last time you ever allowed yourself to cry ― you were around five or six? there was a thunderstorm. it was the first one you remembered in your life. (yeah. you fucking cried over a thunderstorm.) no one seemed to be able to calm you down, no one but james. james came over, wet and unruly hair sticking up on all ends, and said “it’s going to be okay, lils, i’m here. no one’s going to hurt you.”

no one will hurt you while your family’s here. so what use is getting upset over anything? they will always be there. to protect you.

and anyways. you’re lily fucking potter.

you’re the chosen one’s daughter.

what the hell do you need tears for? tears are for the weak.

you should be able to bloody take care of yourself.

you should be able to bloody protect them.

✿ ❀ ✿ ❀ ✿

growing up in such a large family, you have become accustom to chaos and pandemonium and a cacophony of hollering voices. but with so many of them gone away, it’s so disturbingly quiet when you come around the burrow.

your uncle ron takes it upon himself to teach you wizard chess.

of course, you lose at first.

but you’re not one for giving up.

also there’s something satisfying about controlling your pieces and planning your moves ― having power over something feels good.

there’s also something very desensitizing about winning a match and seeing your opponent’s piece violently ― barbarically as your aunt hermione says ― shatter to crumbs.

but maybe that’s a little twisted. getting satisfaction off of that.

aunt hermione seems to be concerned about it.

the point is though ― you get good.

you’re bold and reckless and instinctual in your moves, yes. but you get very good.

iii. blooming

[ tw: emotional abuse and alcoholism ]

you’re finally at hogwarts.

and you’re a gryffindor. thank merlin. (the hat said almost slytherin. but definitely gryffindor. you begged and told it “not slytherin.” and so it put you into gryffindor almost immediately after.

as far you’re concerned, that hat was probably rather tipsy that night. if it can talk and sing songs and make decisions, it can get drunk, okay?

and the words that it said while it was intoxicated? can’t be held accounted for.

so thus: you’re a gryffindor. through and through.

no one else needs to know anything different.)

you owl your entire family about it. they’re all proud. most of them say you could have been in any house and it would have been absolutely fine. but they’re all quite proud.

✿ ❀ ✿ ❀ ✿

in third year, you date a boy for the first time.

he sends you love letters. meets with you outside of school. tells you not to tell anyone about him. that sends off warning signs immediately. why can’t your family know? what the fuck is going on?

“let’s keep it a secret, just for now. i don’t want anyone to screw us up, lil. i don’t think they’d like me.”

“why wouldn’t my family like you? i like you. i’d make them like you.”

“please, lil, we can tell them eventually. i’m just scared to right now. you’re the first person i’ve ever had feelings for.”

you’ve always had a very low trust for people, there’s something you love about being called lil though. so you’re wary. but you decide to listen. this time.

but this time turns into just one more time. and it cycles. you excuse things you shouldn’t, all in the name of love. he isolates you, and he knows just how to push your buttons, to pinpoint your insecurities and lash out like a snake.

it takes you months, but you finally come to your senses and see it for what it is: plain and simple abuse. you untether yourself from him.

and then you try your best to forget about it.

maybe that’s part of the reason why you enjoy firewhiskey the first time you try it, just after you turn fourteen.

it burns like it should. it makes you numb. it’s a proper escape.

and it’s pretty damn clear: love gets in the way of things. love is pointless.

also, no one’s allowed to call you lil. ever again.

iv: wilting

[ tw: parental death ]

you’re sixteen. you just turned fucking sixteen.

and your dad’s dead.

your dad’s dead and you didn’t get to say goodbye and the last fucking thing you have of him? it’s his map.

you’d protect that map with your life. even if you’d rather have him.

✿ ❀ ✿ ❀ ✿

it’s all a blur for a while. the condolences, the flowers, the funeral, the memorial, the tears…it’s all just a blur.

you just…you don’t understand why he’s dead.

a war hero. the head of the auror department. the savior. the chosen one.

he was the best of the best.

and he’s dead.

what hope does anyone still have?

practically none.

but dad would want you to have hope.

so you do your best to have some.

your family is just so clearly a mess though. even if they’re all mostly trying to hide it.

you’re the only one in mcgonagall’s army who actually seems to give a damn about people and this hopeless fucking world that’s probably not even worth saving in the first place.

so it’s just all on you now.

because dad’s not here.

he was supposed to always be there.

but he’s not anymore.

but it’s all right. (it’s all right, it’s all right, it’s all right. you’re the hero of this story. don’t need to saved.)

you need to do something. you can’t just sit down and cry about it.

dad was always so selfless and concerned about the people he loved, but now that he’s not here? you don’t think that dad would really want you to just let his world go to hell.

when you were younger? you knew you wanted to be an auror. and he was proud of that. he helped train you. he was preparing you for this. maybe in some sick, twisted way…the universe meant for this to happen, for him to be taken away from you.

maybe he knew it too. and that’s why he tried so hard to prepare you.

the reasons don’t really matter, you don’t want to fucking talk to anyone about it. this is all just your job now.

that’s it.

iv: falling

you become harsh and hopeless, a storm that never seems to break. gone is the girl who was terrified of lightning and thunder – now you embody them, reveling in the demolition. you are untouchable, and you’re not sure if it’s a blessing or a curse.

if your father was still alive, you wonder if he would be proud.

but you know in your heart, he wouldn’t.

personality

strengths

caring, protective, loyal, intelligent, passionate, determined, brave, outgoing, selfless, witty, cunning, chivalrous, charismatic, adventurous, capable, ambitious, bold, independent, kind, generous, loving, well-intentioned, heroic, willful, free-spirited, warm, revolutionary, compassionate, decisive, hard-working, intuitive, pro-active, family-oriented

weaknesses

paranoid, envious, grudge-holder, blunt, outspoken, misconstrued perceptions, over-drinks, distrustful, stubborn, argumentative, hotheaded, feels the overwhelming need to save everyone and fix everything, too emotionally driven to the point of being illogical, impatient, reckless, lack of regard for her own life, sarcastic, insecure, unyielding, inability to admit she’s wrong, worrier, perfectionist, dishonest, controlling, competitive, unpredictable, erratic, tempestuous, difficulty resisting temptation, spiteful, fearless to the point of harming herself, self-righteous, judgmental, vengeful, violent, manipulative, hypocritical

personality overview

lily is known for her liveliness and her energy. the girl can’t stand being bored, and sitting around doing nothing frustrates her more than anything. most of the gryffindors view her as fun, but her idea of fun doesn’t align with everyone. she likes excitement and adventure. she’d take a swim in the lake when it’s freezing cold outside; she’d drink until she’s completely wasted; she’d set off fireworks in the great hall with her friends; she’d even explore the forbidden forest at night if she’s bored enough.

she’s also known for her quick wit and sense of humor, always ready with a comeback. her favorite teachers call her cheeky, while her least favorite call her a troublemaker. she’ll mouth off to anyone, consequences be damned, and it’s earned her a fair amount of detention sentences over the years. she just can’t help it but sass most of the time. it’s almost a defense mechanism, a way for lily to deflect.

lily knows how to lie, and admittedly, she’s very often dishonest. but she knows how to persuade. she speaks with conviction, her voice unwavering as she spins her webs, a stellar actress. she’s not pathological, but there’s a lot she likes to keep to herself. a lot of weakness and vulnerability that she doesn’t like to share with just anyone. at times, lily is so talented at lying that she is capable of deluding herself, burying some things that she doesn’t care to admit so far in the cobwebs of her mind that the denial becomes subconscious.

she has the heart of a lion. fierce, bold, and strong, lily’s the type of person you’d want beside you in a time of crisis. she’s a textbook gryffindor, ready for a fight and nearly impossible to scare. the girl could be considered too brave; her unwavering courageousness could easily get her killed someday. things that should terrify any sane person, such as bloodthirsty death eaters or hungarian horntails, never scare her. lily is recklessly dauntless, and she’s proud of it. there is nothing she values about herself more than her bravery. if you want lily to go berserk, all you have to do is call her a coward.

lily isn’t afraid to say what she thinks or stand up to people. she’s blunt and outspoken–sometimes harsh – always feeling the need to express her opinion. to make matters worse, she’s very argumentative and steadfast on her beliefs; she could debate for hours about something. in fact, lily actually enjoys arguing and debate, sometimes even picking fights with blood elitists and slytherins merely due to boredom, provoking them for no reason other than craving combat. incredibly hot-tempered, she’s usually fighting with someone about one thing or another and isn’t afraid to resort to violence if her point isn’t coming across.

there is a softer, kinder side to lily behind all her bravado though. she isn’t exactly nice, but she is caring and selfless. and she isn’t inherently cruel. she’d never hurt someone on purpose unless they didn’t absolutely deserve it in her opinion ( though she’s been wrong before on so many occasions ). she’s passionate, loyal, and protective about the things and people that she loves. she would sacrifice her life for someone she cares about in a heartbeat. she has a weakness for heroics, feeling a need to save people and fix everything, carrying the world on her shoulders. this is, of course, unreasonable, but she believes she has to be that way because of the family she comes from. from day one, she has had expectations placed on her because she’s a potter, and rather than fight them, she feels the need to live up to them. she feels as if the world is expecting her to be a hero because her family is so respected and moral. these expectations and complexes of hers are what drives lily.

she is a perfectionist. lily is constantly pushing herself past her limits and often tries to do far more than what she is capable of. lily refuses to stop and rest, and she’ll continue to refuse until the day she dies. she stays up too late to maintain her near-perfect grades. she practices for quidditch nearly every morning. she pours over her dada textbooks for hours on end so that she’ll win every duel in dueling club. lily is competitive and feels the need to be the best because her insecurities cause her to worry that she isn’t good enough, that she’ll never be good enough. it’s self-induced pressure–no one places unrealistic expectations on the girl but herself. in actuality, people may expect lily to be brave and heroic like her parents, but no one expects her to be the best at everything, and she puts most of the pressure on herself due to her own insecurities. it’s only lily who thinks she isn’t good enough, and one of her biggest flaws is her tendency to compare herself to other people rather than seeing herself as her own person. people who are better than her are often met with green, envy rattling in her core, as much as she tries to ignore it.

even though she appears completely fearless to most, lily is actually only almost devoid of fear, not that she would ever admit she was anything less than dauntless. she rarely ever speaks of emotions of fear in front of other people, pretending that nothing fazes her. she doesn’t want anyone to know that she can be scared or weak sometimes. she’s a gryffindor and a potter, so as far as she’s concerned, she’s not allowed to be. lily is expected to be strong and fearless, just like her parents, so that’s what she claims to be whereas, in reality, she can be afraid just like any other person; she’s just good at hiding things. the thought of losing people she cares about absolutely terrifies her, especially with the war. along with that, she has always felt pressure to be great; lily has spent her whole life worrying whether or not she’s good enough due to her family’s achievements. just like her father, she’s always felt the need to be a hero. lately she’s been afraid that she isn’t doing enough to help the order, that her dad would be ashamed of her if he was still alive. that’s one of the reasons why she’ll try to push her outlandish ideas on mcgonagall’s army members even though she knows deep down that she’s suggesting suicide missions.

it’s frightening, really, how much little regard she has for her own life. her self worth is nonexistent in the scheme of things. she’ll fight nail and tooth to live but only because she wants to be there to protect her loved ones; she sees her life as second to theirs. if she thought she could help bring about the end of the war by dying, if there was even the slightest possibility of saving those she views as good, lily would do it in an instant. without thinking. because lily truly believes that her loved ones would get over it, maybe not at first but eventually. and she’s okay with that. she’d want them to move on with their loves, to stop mourning her and find happiness. for lily, there is no better way to go than to go down fighting. to go down while defending her loved ones and her beliefs.

but if she lives through the war, lily plans on becoming an auror, just like her father. it’s just what she’s always wanted to do. again, the girl has a hero complex. and her ambition is great–she wants to be the youngest auror ever accepted into their department and one day make her way up to head auror. lily believes her true calling in life is on the battlefield, protecting the innocent and bringing justice to the world.

lily is a control freak–bossy, domineering, and assertive. losing control is her greatest fear, so she’d never let anyone get the best of her. lily always needs to do something because that’s how she finds control in her own destiny. it always takes time to earn her trust because she fears betrayal and manipulating, causing her to be naturally suspicious of others’ intentions. she’ll fight like hell when others get in the way of her plans; her fear of losing control doesn’t allow her to adapt to change easily. when her father died, she felt weak and powerless, wishing she could just bring back, wishing that she could just do something, anything; her worst fear became a reality, and she swears she is never going to allow herself to feel that way again. she will never be vulnerable again. she will never lose control again. oddly enough, even though she’s been surrounded by love her entire life, she’s even afraid of falling in love for those very reasons. the thought of falling for someone who may or may not love her back, allowing herself to be that vulnerable in front of someone, has always scared her more than she would care to admit. lily needs to feel safe, and being in love with someone who could break your heart is something only fools would do in her opinion.

lily won’t admit to sadness or heartache either, not wanting others to think less of her. through sheer willpower alone, the girl has not cried since she was six though there have been moments where she wished she could allow herself to, such as her father’s funeral. when she saw her father in that casket, she felt like knives were in her ribs, and all she wanted to do was run back to her home, cry, grab a beater’s bat, and destroy all the objects in her home one by one, but her face looked stoic. when asked, lily claims that she’s completely all right about her father’s death, and most believe it. she’ll barely ever talk about him at all. it’s like she isn’t even mourning. there are subtle nuances that she is though. her smile and laugh are more demure than it was before. she’s even more fiercely protective of her family and friends now, and her weakness for heroics has also increased; she’ll go to great lengths to protect and save others with little regard for her own safety. it’s partly because she wants to make her father proud by being brave and partly because she doesn’t value herself much as a person due to her insecurities.

but ironically, even though she hides her emotions the majority of the time, she is consumed by them. they control and drive her, often even to the point of recklessness. logic falls on deaf ears to this girl, making her much more likely to make mistakes and get into trouble. she has a good brain on her shoulders and should know better than to act without thinking, but she doesn’t. lily’s impulsive, reckless, and impetuous, mostly relying on pure instinct. and she’s as stubborn as a mule as well. it’s very hard to convince her not to do something once her mind is set. and bare nerves, stubbornness, and recklessness is a dangerous combination–a mixture not usually found in those who like to live long lives. lily is aware of how foolish she can be, but she just doesn’t care. as far as she’s concerned, if something’s the right thing to do, it’s the right thing to do, regardless of the possible consequences.

but here’s the problem: she’s so often wrong. her black-and-white and self-righteous beliefs are so instilled in her that she can’t see the bigger picture. she can’t recognize that the population isn’t capable of being sorted in categories of good and evil. she doesn’t see shades of grey, judging others by their actions and beliefs regardless of the circumstances. death eaters are not seen by lily as people–only monsters incapable of human emotion. whenever she looks at a death eater, all she can see is her father’s dead face. she doesn’t know who was responsible, so instead she blames them all. she hates them all so intensely that she is blind to the fact that expectations are placed on those from traditionalist families too. and most of all, she doesn’t realize that the other side is just as capable of loving others to the point of consumption as she is. and they should be feared for that.

describe your character through a particular weather temperament or season. / could your character be described in two rival parts, and if so, what would they be? / ( +bonus: if your character could choose their own form of death, what would it be? )

i. lily luna potter was born at the height of summer, on a muggy august night, and as such, she truly embodies every aspect of the season. she’s the unrelenting sun beating down on you — she is always burning burning burning, and she’s impossible to put out. everything she chooses to do is carried out with a tremendous intensity and passion, almost as though she is pouring her entire heart into it, and perhaps she really is. (”they told me to pour my heart into everything i do. so that’s what i did, i poured and poured and poured. now they ask me why i’m so empty.”) when she’s determined to accomplish something, nothing else matters in that moment. she’s overpowering, a girl with the capability to set the whole damn world on fiendfyre if she wanted to. she’s just so much all at once — too much, really. she’s been told that by exes before, that she’s just too much for them, and lily always responds, her voice so piercing it could slit a throat, “or maybe you’re just not enough.” even when she’s cold, it’s with this ferocity that still manages to burn you to the core.

lily can’t ever be any other season than summer, but sometimes she wishes she could be. she longs for the rebirth of spring, the balance of autumn, the chill of winter. but she’ll always burn like summer.

ii. lumos – a fire-haired girl who dons robes of scarlet and gold, as striking as a beacon of light / the family legacy you swore to protect / brain and nerve and bounding heart / a deafening roar of laughter after a brilliant joke / being so incredibly drunk you’re as giddy as a toddler, the life of the party / shielding young girls as though you are the mighty huntress artemis / a magnificent silver phoenix burst from the tip of your wand, summoned by the many faces of your family / the indescribable solace found from wrapping your arms tightly around your big brother, not ever wanting to let go / the callow little girl within yourself that you couldn’t quite manage to kill, a girl who wished on shooting stars and cried during thunderstorms

nox – a meadow of wildflowers wilting away / the fury deep within your core that burns like dragon fire, threatening to consume you / a memory you’ve tried to bury deep within the crevices of your mind, a memory you’d rip from your skull if you could / swearing off love because what good is it anyway / clenched fists so tight that your red, red nails bite crescent moons on your palms / the glorious burn of your muscles during a seething fight / a thunderous cry for retribution, even if it means destroying yourself in the process / feeding into your rage because if you falter for just a moment, you’ll remember just how hollow you are / a ruinous lightning storm encased within a pint-sized girl

iii. she can’t ever picture herself dying quietly. whenever the veil inevitably comes to shroud her, she will take her sharp nails and try to tear it into shreds �� she is a forest fire that refuses to snuffed. rage is all she knows, all she’s good at. her beloved cypress wand bears a reminder she carved in runic scripture: “never give up without a fight.”  and lily never will. she will struggle and struggle and struggle before they take her.

it’s not that the prospect of death petrifies her. there have been cold nights where she feels hollow and so very small, and she thinks about how she doesn’t want to die – no, she doesn’t want to die – but still she would appreciate the rest, the quietness, the peace. it had been her own father who had sat her down at age six, her very first taste with death (her great-great aunt muriel finally decided to fucking croak) and bestowed upon her the wise words of albus dumbledore just before they left for the funeral, “do not pity the dead. pity the living.” and oh, she does. lily is just sixteen years old, and she’s already so exhausted.

no, she’s not petrified of death, but rather petrified of what she’d leave behind: a family she treasures more than anything. lily doesn’t place much value in her own life. she ultimately views herself as just a person and not a very good one at that, but still she will fight until her dying breath. she will do it for them – all this struggle is for their sake. she needs to stick around to protect them.

but of course, if she could die to save someone she loved, she would do it in an instant. lily’s loyalty is hard-won, but once it’s earned, there isn’t anything she won’t do for you. so that’s how she’d choose to die, fighting but fighting for something – or someone – worth dying for. on those cold hollow nights when she’s wondering what it’s all for, she has to remind herself that it’s for them.

she might not matter, but they do.

drabble

lily luna potter – the woman, the myth, the legend. the only daughter of the chosen one, the world hailed her as a figure of hope from the moment she was born, waiting with baited breath to see what she will go on to accomplish. lily’s so beguiling she could be the sun – she never manages to dim. she’ll lull you to a stupor when she struts past, as ostentatious as ever, and you’ll be rendered gormless in her wake. she’ll leave you wondering whether she’s a dream or a nightmare, but that’s the very point, isn’t it? you laud her as your hero, thrust her with expectations she could never live up to, and when she seems to rise to the occasion, you forget. you forget that she is just a teenager, not a blinding sun or a sharp crack of lightning or a ruinous earthquake, but a girl who’s barely sixteen. a girl who’s lost more than you could ever imagine. children should never be viewed as metaphors, but from the second she came into this world, it was already too late.

               / / /

self-righteous but vindictive, girlish but bloodthirsty, idealistic but cynical, emotional but hardened, tender but acrimonious, coquettish but closed off, well-intentioned but wicked, fiery but icy, radiating but deathly – lily is a girl of contradictions and paradoxes. she possesses so many opposing traits that it’s difficult to make sense of her. with her full face of makeup and voguish outfits, she is ever so carefully put together, but it only serves to hide the storm raging underneath her skin. her countenance is a purposeful illusion – she doesn’t want you to see the red scars on her skin or the dark circles underneath her eyes. everybody is always watching her, so she must look her best. but there’s more to it, isn’t there? he always used to tell her she wore too much makeup, and since breaking up with him on the cusp of her fourth year, she has never stepped outside without a full face. it’s a permanent two-fingered salute. “fuck you, i’m beautiful.” but why does she feel so ugly and mangled?

              / / /

on some days, she burns as bright as a brush fire, incinerating everything in her path. but on others, she’s as hollowed out as a glacier cave, the coldness seeping inside her body, freezing over her heart – those days, nothing and no one can really touch her. somehow, she always fluctuates between passion and numbness, a vicious cycle she can’t seem to control. lily either feels so intensely or feels absolutely nothing at all, and she’s not quite sure which is worse. when her emotions are tearing her apart, she longs to shut them off, but once they’re gone, she’ll do anything just to feel something again. how can she be so passionate yet so hardened at the same time? sometimes she misses the bitter tang of tears, the sweet release – it’s been ten long years since she’s allowed herself to cry. but she won’t allow herself to be weak again. she’s come too far. perhaps it really is best to have a heart that’s forgotten how to beat; dead hearts can’t break.

              / / /

she’s furious and she’s bitter and she’s tired. she’s so goddamn tired. it’s always so exhausting to be her. some days, she wonders what is the point of it all. why does she keep struggling when all she wants to do is lay down her weary arms, close her eyes, and rest? but she knows she can’t. she was born to fight – that’s all she knows how to do at this point. so she will soldier on.

[chrisengel]

Dora holds an historic place in the transition in Freud’s thinking regarding psychosexual development in general, and away from a constructive curiosity about female development that seemed to have been piqued by or at least survived the abandonment of the seduction theory in 1897, heralding the role of fantasy in inner life. Dora was analyzed in 1899, but the case’s publication date (1905) is also the date of Freud’s unrevised first edition of Three Essays. Not until 1908, three years after Dora was published, did he add his theory of ubiquitous penis envy to the description of girls’ development. (His famously male view of girls was not incorporated in Three Essays until its third revision, in 1915.) His 1908 “On the Sexual Theories of Children” included what turned out to be “bedrock” comments about his one-sex male theory for girls. However, at the time of Dora, Freud had developed only a partial and simplified oedipal theory that concerned whole persons in the family rather than part objects or body parts. The early oedipal situation held that a girl would normally turn sexually to the father, as would the boy to the mother. The female genitals were still viewed as whole and female. He had noted in correspondence with Fliess that a girl could envy a penis because she wanted everything; that is, in this iteration of Oedipus, she is left in basic possession of her own genitals, with the penis an added fantasy organ. With Dora, as in The Interpretation of Dreams, he expected a female to have sexual pleasure, and did not confine that asset solely to the penis, as he would later.4 He also recognized bisexuality as a part of the human condition, meaning that under certain psychological conditions Dora could be sexually attracted toward either a man or a woman.

However, the stage was being set simultaneously in 1905 for a wrong turn (Balsam 2015a). Though real female sexual pleasure and the pleasures of procreation were seen as expectable, this came at a price. Freud’s view of how the woman should handle these pleasures was problematic. She was not supposed to exercise her own autonomy. A woman may be symbolized in dreams by “the house,” but sexually she was not mistress in her own house! The master owned that house. Sociopolitically, Dora was ahead of Freud in this respect, and rebelled against this oppression. Blum (1994) has commented on her Jewish identity in this regard, remarking that as both a woman and a Jew she was in a societally oppressed position. Erikson (1962) noted Dora’s looking to Freud for validation of the reality of her complaints against the grownups, and he affirmed her mental health in this regard. But of course Freud’s theory of her denial and negation of healthy, expectable genital pleasures, in his view due to her unfair rage at the much older, married Herr K.’s arousal toward her, invalidated both her autonomy and her aggression in response to this actual sexual harassment. Erikson thought this undermined her identity formation. Freud got it half right. He valuably saw Dora’s body as whole and healthy in its expectable capacity for sexual arousal and responsiveness (a feature that the later theory of a male-sexed libido “phallic phase” theory would undermine). He wanted Dora to own her own body as a woman. However, seeing Herr K. in any negative light, or her father, or his own cigar-smoking self as a focus of negative transference to a woman was hard for him. Freud had not yet met Karen Horney, and in any case, when he finally did he greeted her insights with hostility. She might have suggested that Dora’s fear, horror, and disgust when exposed to Herr K.’s or her father’s sexuality may have been influenced by her reactions and fantasies regarding the disparity between the size of the man’s erect penis and her sense of the smallness of her vagina, or that her rage may have been due to wounded disappointment in her love for her father. Freud neither imagined nor took kindly to such ideas.

Freud’s Body Work with Dora

In his body work with Dora, Freud is direct and free. He uses the dream image in her second dream of the train station and woods, and her association to nymphs playing, to elaborate elegantly on the “symbolic geography of sex” (Freud 1905a, p. 99). He received and translated Dora’s vaginal references: the “forecourt” of the vulva; nymphae as a reference to the labia minorae with pubic hair behind, as in a wood; her fantasy of defloration; and the big book she read in at the dream’s close as likely an encyclopedia where she was looking up details of sex, pregnancy, and childbirth. Marian Tolpin (2004) wrote admiringly about Freud’s poetic symbolic understanding of Dora’s female organs. Other images of Dora’s body were the “reticule” (purse) she wore at her waist as a vaginal symbol, and the “room” (“apartment”) she wanted to lock at night that also represented her vagina. Further, her associations to the “closed” door of her “room” represented being closed to intercourse, while a door “opened” by a key meant being open to the penis in intercourse. “All these,” Tolpin notes, are described by Freud as “‘once again only a substitute for the shell of Venus, for the female genitals’ (1905a, p. 77). What more compelling and appreciative symbol of feminine beauty and desirability (in general) or of female anatomy (in particular) could Freud evoke than the famed Botticelli Birth of Venus and the lustrous shell on which the goddess of love is artfully enthroned as she is born from the sea? What more powerful ‘mirroring’ affirmation of a woman’s anatomy and sexuality could a psychoanalytic theory provide?” (p. 172). Tolpin thought it not surprising that these transient “early affirmative views have been virtually obscured by Freud’s ‘relentless investigation’ [Marcus 1990, p. 85] of Dora’s sexuality.” Freud’s critics, she believed, have conflated “his later castration theory of women’s genital injury, mortification, penis envy, and hostility with his earlier theory of the purse as female genital and the wish for intercourse with Herr K. which Dora angrily rejected” (p. 172). Tolpin’s observations are well taken.

[tkatsumi06j]

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s Formal Apology to Canada’s LGBTQ Community【全文】カナダのLQBTQコミュニティに対するジャスティン・トルドー首相による公式な謝罪

公式テキストと動画

Trudeau:

トルドー首相：

Merci, Monsieur Le President.

議長閣下

ありがとうございます。

One of the greatest choices a person can make in their life is the choice to serve their fellow citizens. Maybe it’s in government, in the military, or in a police force. In whatever capacity one serves, dedicating your life to making Canada - and indeed, the world - a better place is a calling of the highest order.

生涯を通じて個人が行う選択のなかで最も偉大な選択のひとつ。それは政府や軍、あるいは警察などに務め、同胞に奉仕することです。どのような立場での奉仕であっても、カナダのために、ひいては世界をよりよくするために奉仕することは、崇高な営みといえるでしょう。

Now imagine, if you will, being told that the very country you would willingly lay down your life to defend doesn’t want you. Doesn’t accept you. Sees you as defective. Sees you as a threat to our national security.

ここで、想像してみてください。命を懸けて守りたいと思う祖国に必要とされないことを。拒絶されることを。欠落のある者だと思われることを。国家安全保障上の脅威だと思われることを。

Not because you can’t do the job, or because you lack patriotism or courage?no, because of who you are as a person, and because of who your sexual partners are.

仕事が「できない」からではありません。愛国心や勇猛さが「欠けている」からではありません。「そういう」個人であり、また性的なパートナーが「そういう」個人であるという理由からです。

Now imagine, Mr. Speaker, being subjected to laws, policies, and hiring practices that label you as different - as “less than.”

議長

ここで想像してみてください。

法律や政策や雇用の実務において、「異端」、あるいは「欠落者」とレッテルを貼られ���ことを。

Imagine having to fight for the basic rights that your peers enjoy, over and over again.

自分の隣人が当然のごとく享受する基本的権利を求めて、来る日も来る日も闘い続けなければならない状況を。

And imagine being criminalized for being who you are.

This is the truth for many of the Canadians present in the gallery today, and those listening across the country.

自分が「そういう者」だからという理由で犯罪者扱いされることを想像してみてください。これは聴衆の中にいる多くのカナダ人にとって、そしてカナダ全土でこの演説を聴いている方がたにとっては、ただの現実です。

This is the devastating story of people who were branded criminals by the government. People who lost their livelihoods, and in some cases, their lives.

これは、政府によって「犯罪者」の烙印を捺された人びとの悲壮な物語です。生活の術を失い、場合によっては、命をも失った人びとの物語です。

These aren’t distant practices of governments long forgotten. This happened systematically, in Canada, with a timeline more recent than any of us would like to admit.

これは遥か遠い昔に忘れ去られた政府の愚行ではありません。これは組織的に、ここカナダにおいて、われわれの誰もが認めくないほど近年にわたって、行われてきたことです。

Mr. Speaker, today we acknowledge an often-overlooked part of Canada’s history. Today, we finally talk about Canada’s role in the systemic oppression, criminalization, and violence against the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and two-spirit communities.

議長

きょうわれわれは、これまで主に見過ごされてきたカナダの歴史の暗部に光を当てます。レズビアン、ゲイ、バイセクシャル、トランスジェンダー、クィア、そしてトゥースピリット（二つの魂を持つ者）のコミュニティに対して行われてきた組織的な抑圧、犯罪化、そして暴力において、カナダ政府が果たしてきた役割を認める時が遂に来たのです

And it is my hope that in talking about these injustices, vowing to never repeat them, and acting to right these wrongs, we can begin to heal…

そして私の願いは、こうした不正義の数々を公に語ることで、二度と繰り返さないことを誓うことで、そしてこれらの悪行を正すことで、癒しのプロセスの始まりとすることです…

Discrimination against LGBTQ2 communities was quickly codified in criminal offences like “buggery,” “gross indecency” and bawdy house provisions.

カナダでは、LGBTQ2コミュニティに対する偏見や差別をいちはやく犯罪化しました。「獣姦」「重大なわいせつ行為」そして家庭内における卑猥な行為を抑圧する条例によって。

Bathhouses were raided, people were entrapped by police.

われわれは、更衣室を強制的に取り締まり、警察は人びとを拘束しました。

Our laws bolstered and emboldened those who wanted to attack non-conforming sexual desire.

われわれは、社会の意に沿わない性的要求を糾弾することが正当化され、強化されるような法律を制定してきました。

Our laws made private and consensual sex between same-sex partners a criminal offence, leading to the unjust arrest, conviction, and imprisonment of Canadians. This criminalization would have lasting impacts for things like employment, volunteering, and travel.

われわれは、同性同士の間で行われる個人的で同意のある性交を刑法上の犯罪行為としました。これにより、カナダ人が不当に逮捕、起訴され、投獄されました。この犯罪化により、就職や社会奉仕活動、渡航を行う上で、長く消えない傷跡を残してしまいました

Those arrested and charged were purposefully and vindictively shamed. Their names appeared in newspapers in order to humiliate them, and their families.

われわれは、逮捕・起訴された人びとを意図的に、かつ、執拗に辱めました。彼らとその一族を侮辱するために彼らの名前は新聞に掲載しました。

Lives were destroyed. And tragically, lives were lost…

生活が破壊され、そして悲しむべきことに、命が失われました。

Over our history, laws and policies enacted by the government led to the legitimization of much more than inequality?they legitimized hatred and violence, and brought shame to those targeted.

カナダ史において、政府が施行した法や政策によって、単なる不平等を越えるものが正当化されました。憎悪や暴力、そして標的とされた者を侮辱することが、正当化されたのです。

While we may view modern Canada as a forward-thinking, progressive nation, we can’t forget our past: The state orchestrated a culture of stigma and fear around LGBTQ2 communities. And in doing so, destroyed people’s lives.

多くの人は、現代のカナダを前向きで進歩的な国だと思っているかもしれません。しかし、国家がLGBTQ2コミュニティに対するスティグマ化と恐怖の文化を統制し、それにより人びとの一生を破壊してきたという、われわれの過去を忘れてはなりません。

Mr. Speaker, a purge that lasted decades will forever remain a tragic act of discrimination suffered by Canadian citizens at the hands of their own government.

議長

何十年ものあいだ継続して行われた粛清��永遠に、カナダ人に対して行われたカナダ政府による悲劇的な差別行為として歴史に記憶され続けます。

From the 1950s to the early 1990s, the government of Canada exercised its authority in a cruel and unjust manner, undertaking a campaign of oppression against members, and suspected members, of the LGBTQ2 communities.

1950年代から1990年のはじめまで、カナダ政府はその権能を容赦なく、かつ、不当に行使し、LGBTQ2コミュニティの一員である人びと、または一員であると思われる人びとに対して組織的な抑圧を行いました。

The goal was to identify these workers throughout the public service, including the foreign service, the military, and the RCMP, and persecute them.

その目的は、外務、軍務、警務等のあらゆる公務で働く人びとの中からこれらの人びとを選別し、迫害することにありました。

You see, the thinking of the day was that all non-heterosexual Canadians would automatically be at an increased risk of blackmail by our adversaries due to what was called “character weakness.”

当時われわれは、非異性愛主義者のカナダ人は自動的に、「人格的脆弱性」と呼ばれる要因により、敵側による恐喝のリスクに晒されると考えていました。

This thinking was prejudiced and flawed. And sadly, what resulted was nothing short of a witch-hunt.

これは偏見に満ちた、誤った考え方でした。そして、その結果、魔女狩りとしかいいようのない状況が現出したのです。

The public service, the military, and the RCMP spied on their own people, inside and outside of the workplaces. Canadians were monitored for anything that could be construed as homosexual behaviour, with community groups, bars, parks, and even people’s homes constantly under watch.

公務、軍務、警務に携わる者は、職場の中と外で同胞を監視しました。同性愛行為を行うカナダ人は常に監視に置かれました。コミュニティのグループや、バー、公園、そして自宅までもが、常に監視の対象とされたのです。

During this time, the federal government even dedicated funding to an absurd device known as the Fruit Machine - a failed technology that was supposed to measure homosexual attraction.

そのあいだ、政府は当時「同性愛者発見機（フルーツ・マシン）」といわれた滑稽な機器を運用する資金まで提供していました。同性愛者を惹きつける力を計測できるという、まったくデタラメな技術でした。

When the government felt that enough evidence had accumulated, some suspects were taken to secret locations in the dark of night to be interrogated.

こうして十分な証拠が集まったと判断すると、政府は闇夜に紛れて容疑者らを秘密の場所に連行し、尋問しました。

They were asked invasive questions about their relationships and sexual preferences. Hooked up to polygraph machines, these law-abiding public servants had the most intimate details of their lives cut open.

容疑者らは、恋人関係や性的指向など、プライバシーを侵害するような質問を浴びせられました。 法令に忠実な公務員らは、 嘘発見器に繋がれ、最も個人的な秘密までを吐露しなければなりませんでした。

Women and men were abused by their superiors, and asked demeaning, probing questions about their sex lives. Some were sexually assaulted.

男女違わず、上司に虐待的仕打ちを受け、性生活に関する侮辱的で詮索的な質問を浴びせられました。なかには、性的暴行を受けた者もいました。

Those who admitted they were gay were fired, discharged, or intimidated into resignation. They lost dignity, lost careers, and had their dreams?and indeed, their lives?shattered…

ゲイだと認めた者は解雇、追放、または圧力により強制的に辞職させられました。尊厳も、職も、そして夢も奪われ、文字通り、人生を粉々に砕かれました。

Under the harsh glare of the spotlight, people were forced to make an impossible choice between career and identity.

強い光を顔面に照射されるなか、彼らは職とアイデンティティのいずれを選ぶかという、不可能な選択を突きつけられました。

The very thing Canadian officials feared?blackmail of LGBTQ2 employees?was happening. But it wasn’t at the hands of our adversaries; it was at the hands of our own government.

LGBTQ2の従業員らを恐喝するという、カナダ当局が恐れた行為は、実際に行われていました。ただし「敵」によってではなく、自国の「政府」によって。

Mr. Speaker, the number one job of any government is to keep its citizens safe. And on this, we have failed LGBTQ2 people, time and time again.

議長

どの政府においても、その第一の責務は、国民を守ることにあります。わが国はこの責務を、LGBTQ2の人びとを保護する責務を、幾度となく怠りました。

It is with shame and sorrow and deep regret for the things we have done that I stand here today and say: We were wrong. We apologize. I am sorry. We are sorry.

われわれがかつて行ってきたことを恥じ、悲しみと深い後悔の念を抱きながら、私はきょう、こう表明させていただきたい。われわれは間違っていました。謝罪いたします。お詫びいたします。国としてお詫び申し上げます、と。

For state-sponsored, systemic oppression and rejection, we are sorry.

国を挙げて組織的な抑圧と迫害を行ったことをお詫びいたします。

For suppressing two-spirit Indigenous values and beliefs, we are sorry.

土着のトゥースピリット の価値観や信仰を抑圧したことをお詫びいたします。

For abusing the power of the law, and making criminals of citizens, we are sorry…

法を悪用し、国民を犯罪者に仕立てあげたことをお詫びいたします。

To all the LGBTQ2 people across this country who we have harmed in countless ways, we are sorry.

国全体を通じて数多の方法で危害を加えられたすべてのLGBTQ2の方がたへ、お詫びいたします。

To those who were left broken by a prejudiced system;

And to those who took their own lives?we failed you.

偏見に満ちた制度により心身ともに壊れてしまった方がた。

自ら命を絶ってしまった方がた。 われわれは、責務を怠りました。

For stripping you of your dignity;

For robbing you of your potential;

For treating you like you were dangerous, indecent, and flawed;

We are sorry.

あなた方の尊厳をはく奪してしまったこと。あなた方の可能性を奪ってしまったことを、あなた方を危険視し、「わいせつ」であるとか「欠落している」としてしまったことを、お詫びいたします。

To the victims of the purge, who were surveilled, interrogated, and abused;

粛清の犠牲となった方がた。監視された方がた。

尋問された方がた。そして虐待された方がた。

Who were forced to turn on their friends and colleagues;

友人や同僚を密告せざるを得なかった方がた。

Who lost wages, lost health, and lost loved ones;

職を失い、健康を損ない、愛する者を喪った方がた。

We betrayed you. And we are so sorry.

わわれわれはあなた方の信頼に背きました。

謹んでお詫びいたします。

To those who were fired, to those who resigned, and to those who stayed at a great personal and professional cost;

解雇された方がた。辞職させられた方がた。そして個人的にも職業的にも多大なリスクを負いながらも、職に留まることを選択した方がた。

To those who wanted to serve, but never got the chance to because of who you are?you should have been permitted to serve your country, and you were stripped of that option.

兵役に服したかったが、素性によって、服役する機会を得られなかった方がた。あなた方には国に奉仕する機会が認められるべきでした。なのに、あなた方にはその選択肢すら与えられませんでした。

We are sorry. We were wrong.

申し訳ありませんでした。われわれが間違っておりました。

Indeed, all Canadians missed out on the important contributions you could have made to our society.

じっさい、多くのカナダ人が、あなた方が我々の社会にもたらしたであろう多大なな貢献の数々を享受する機会を奪われました。

You were not bad soldiers, sailors, airmen and women. You were not predators. And you were not criminals.

あなた方はけっして、男女ともに、素養のない兵士や、水兵や、空兵であったわけではありません。あなた方はけっして、「略奪者」ではなかった。そしてあなた方はけっして、「犯罪者」ではなかった。

You served your country with integrity, and veterans you are.

あなた方は誠実に国に奉仕し、退役されました。

You are professionals. You are patriots. And above all, you are innocent. And for all your suffering, you deserve justice, and you deserve peace.

あなた方はプロフェッショナルです。あなた方は愛国者です。

そしてなによりも、あなた方に罪はありません。

あなた方の味わった苦しみには、相応の正義がなされるべきです。

そしてあなた方には、心の平穏がもたらされるべきです。

It is our collective shame that you were so mistreated. And it is our collective shame that this apology took so long?many who suffered are no longer alive to hear these words. And for that, we are truly sorry.

あなた方が社会によって不当な扱いを受けたことには、われわれ全体が恥ずべきことです。そして、この謝罪を行うのに、これほどまでの時間を要したことを、われわれは全体として恥じなければなりません���苦痛を味わった多くの方がたは、この言葉を聴くまで命を長らえることができませんでした。

そのことについて、われわれは大変申し訳なく思っております。

To the loved ones of those who suffered;

苦しみを味わった方がたの愛する方がた。

To the partners, families, and friends of the people we harmed;

危害を加えられた方がたのパートナー、ご家族、そしてご友人の方がた。

For upending your lives, and for causing you such irreparable pain and grief?we are sorry…

人生をひっくり返し、生涯癒えない痛みや悲しみを生じさせてしまったことを、心よりお詫びいたします。

We also thank members of the We Demand an Apology Network, our LGBTQ2 Apology Advisory Council, and the Just Society Committee for Egale, as well as the individuals who have long advocated for this overdue apology…

「謝罪を求めるネットワーク」の方がた 「LGBTQ2謝罪諮問評議会」 「エガールの公正な社会を求める委員会」 そしてこのあまりにも遅い謝罪を長く求め続けてこられた、 すべての個人の方がたへ。

感謝申し上げます。

We must remember, and we will remember. We will honour and memorialize the legacy of those who fought before us in the face of unbearable hatred and danger.

われわれは記憶に刻み込まなければなりません。 そして忘れません。

堪えがたい憎悪と危険に接しながらも、闘い続けてきた先人達の 名誉を尊び、その伝承を称え、記憶しつづけます。

Mr. Speaker, it is my hope that we will look back on today as a turning point. But there is still much work to do.

議長

私はきょうこの日を一つのターニングポイントとして、いつか振り返る日が来ることを願ってやみません。しかし、われわれにはまだまだ為すべきことがあります。

Discrimination against LGBTQ2 communities is not a moment in time, but an ongoing, centuries-old campaign.

LGBTQ2コミュニティに対する差別は、一過性のものではありません。数百年にわたって、いまも息づく「運動」なのです。

We want to be a partner and ally to LGBTQ2 Canadians in the years going forward. There are still real struggles facing these communities, including for those who are intersex, queer people of colour, and others who suffer from intersectional discrimination.

今後われわれは、LGBTQ2のカナダ人のパートナーであり同胞でありたいと思います。これらのコミュニティのなかには、いまでも苦悩に接している方がたがいます。インターセックスの方がた。有色人種のクィアの方がた、そして同族嫌悪の差別に苦悩する方がたです。

Transgender Canadians are subjected to discrimination, violence, and aggression at alarming rates. In fact, trans people didn’t even have explicit protection under federal human rights legislation until this year…

トラスジェンダーのカナダ人は、警戒すべきほどに差別され、暴力や攻撃の対象とされています。実際、今年になるまで、トランスの人びとを固有に保護する連邦の人権法は存在しませんでした。

And, Mr. Speaker, I am proud to say that earlier today in this House we tabled the Expungement of Historically Unjust Convictions Act. This will mean that Canadians previously convicted of consensual sexual activity with same-sex partners will have their criminal records permanently destroyed.

そして議長、

私は、きょうこの日に、この議場において、「歴史的に不当な起訴の抹消法案」を提出したことを誇りを持って申し上げたい。これはつまり、これまで同性愛のパートナーと同意のある性的行為に及んだことで起訴されたカナダ人は、その犯罪履歴を永久に抹消されるということです

Further, I am pleased to announce that over the course of the weekend, we reached an agreement in principle with those involved in the class action lawsuit for actions related to “the purge.”

さらに、われわれ政府はこの週末を通じて、『粛清』に関わる集団訴訟に関わる人びとたちと和解に達したことをご報告したいと思います。

Never again will our government be the source of so much pain for members of the LGBTQ2 communities.

わが国政府は二度と再び、LGBTQ2コミュニティの人びとに対する苦悩の根源とはなりません。

We promise to consult and work with individuals and communities to right these wrongs and begin to rebuild trust. We will ensure that there are systems in place so that these kinds of hateful practices are a thing of the past. Discrimination and oppression of LGBTQ2 Canadians will not be tolerated anymore…

これらの過ちを正すため、われわれは個人やコミュニティと相談し、信頼関係を構築することをお約束します。こうした憎悪に依った慣習が過去のものとなるよう制度を確実に構築します。LTBTQ2のカナダ人に対する差別や抑圧はもはや容認されません。

Mr. Speaker, Canada’s history is far from perfect.

議長 カナダの歴史は完璧とは程遠いものです。

But we believe in acknowledging and righting past wrongs so that we can learn from them.

しかし過去の過ちを正し、そこから学ぶことができると、われわれは信じています。

For all our differences, for all our diversity, we can find love and support in our common humanity.

あらゆる相違、多様であることについて、われわれは愛し合い、支え合うことを、人類の共通項として見出すことができます。

We’re Canadians, and we want the very best for each other, regardless of our sexual orientation, or our gender identity and expression. We will support one another in our fight for equality.

われわれはカナダ人です。そしてわれわれは、性的指向やジェンダーの自己認識や表現にかかわらず互いに最良を望みます。

平等を目指し、互いに支え合います。

And Canada will stand tall on the international stage as we proudly advocate for equal rights for LGBTQ2 communities around the world.

また国際的なステージにおいても、カナダは毅然と、世界中のLTBTQ2コミュニティに対する平等な扱いを求めてゆきます。

To the kids who are listening at home and who fear rejection because of their sexual orientation or their gender identity and expression;

自宅でこの演説を聴いていて、自分の性的志向やジェンダーに対する意識や表現が拒絶されることをおそれる少年少女の皆さん。

And to those who are nervous and scared, but also excited at what their future might hold;

そして将来について、怖くて不安だけれども、希望を抱きつづけている皆さん。

We are all worthy of love, and deserving of respect.

私たちはみな、互いに愛し愛され、尊敬に値する存在です。

And whether you discover your truth at six or 16 or 60, who you are is valid.

あなたが自分の真実を6歳の時、あるいは16の時、あるいは60の時に知ったとしても、あなたが何者であるかは変わりません。

To members of the LGBTQ2 communities, young and old, here in Canada and around the world:

You are loved. And we support you…

老いも若いも含めたLGBTQ2コミュニティのすべての皆さん。

ここカナダにおいて、そして世界中において、あなた方は愛し愛されるべき存在であり、われわれはあなた方を支えてゆきます。

To the trailblazers who have lived and struggled, and to those who have fought so hard to get us to this place: thank you for your courage, and thank you for lending your voices. I hope you look back on all you have done with pride.

草分けとなって苦難の時代を生き延び、闘い抜いてきた皆さん。そしてきょうこの状況にわれわれを追い込むために闘い続けてきてくれた皆さん。

あなた方の示したくださった勇気に感謝します。そしてわれわれにあなた方の声を託してくださったことに感謝します。あなた方が何を成し得たのか、振り返って誇りに思ってくださればと思います。

It is because of your courage that we’re here today, together, and reminding ourselves that we can, and must, do better.

あなた方が勇気を示してくださったおかげで、われわれは今日ここにともに集い、よりよい世界を目指すことができると信じられるのであり、また、そうでなければならないのだということを心に刻むことができたのです。

For the oppression of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and two-spirit communities, we apologize. On behalf of the government, Parliament, and the people of Canada: We were wrong. We are sorry. And we will never let this happen again.

レズビアン、ゲイ、バイセクシャル、トランスジェンダー、クィア、トゥースピリットのコミュニティの方がたを抑圧したことについて、お詫びいたします。政府、議会、そしてカナダ国民を代表して述べさせていただきます。

われわれは間違っておりました。

申し訳ありませんでした。

このようなことは二度と繰り返しません。

Thank you, Mr. Speaker.

議長閣下、ありがとうございます。

[english-major-in-exile-blog]

Ash by Malinda Lo

Summary:

Cinderella retold In the wake of her father's death, Ash is left at the mercy of her cruel stepmother. Consumed with grief, her only joy comes by the light of the dying hearth fire, rereading the fairy tales her mother once told her. In her dreams, someday the fairies will steal her away, as they are said to do. When she meets the dark and dangerous fairy Sidhean, she believes that her wish may be granted. The day that Ash meets Kaisa, the King's Huntress, her heart begins to change. Instead of chasing fairies, Ash learns to hunt with Kaisa. Though their friendship is as delicate as a new bloom, it reawakens Ash's capacity for love-and her desire to live. But Sidhean has already claimed Ash for his own, and she must make a choice between fairy tale dreams and true love. Entrancing, empowering, and romantic, Ash is about the connection between life and love, and solitude and death, where transformation can come from even the deepest grief.

I love fairy tale retellings. I love ladies in love with other ladies. I love non-white leads. I love dangerous fairies. I love fantasy settings that feel organic. Ash has all of those.

Something about the changes made to this story really worked for me. The dangerous fairies rather than tame ones, the romance with the huntress rather than the prince, and the ever-helpful buildup of the romance beyond the ball were all welcome changes to the original story.

One of the things that didn’t quite work for me was the setting. It felt... generic? That didn’t dampen my enthusiasm for the story, but it felt familiar in a way that could have been boring with other, less-spirited characters at the heart of it. It’s fairly familiar: a world in which belief in fairies is waning, fancy royals and ceremonial duties, fancy dresses. That’s not necessarily bad; it’s just a little too familiar for my taste.

However, one way in which the worldbuilding did work really well and feel fresh was the normalcy with which same-sex relationships are treated. The huntress isn’t a forbidden love because of her gender; it’s all about those class differences and the fact that Ash has some fairy-related challenges to deal with. That was fresh and different and new for what could have otherwise been a somewhat rote setting.

Another thing that didn’t quite work for me was that our bisexual lead was marked as such with a love triangle. This is balanced out by the fact that the absurdly attractive fairy man is both someone Ash is intensely attracted to and the villain of the story, but I’m sensitive to love triangles these days and it is present here.

Also, as a note, for the purposes of my pursuit of a bingo in #Asianlitbingo I think it’s important to note that this does fit into the category of #ownvoices, though loosely. Malinda Lo has said that she envisioned the characters as Asian, and I choose to respect that intent (I certainly envisioned them in that way).

Final Verdict:

This is a good book. It just is. It didn’t blow my mind with the worldbuilding, but I cared about the characters with every step, and I enjoyed the way it adapted a familiar story. 4/5