mishthefish

[mishthefish]

many things wrong with me. well at least i'm bisexual.

[mishthefish]

Happy Halloween everynyan :3

[mishthefish]

so ur at the party right and there’s this girl in the corner with another girl on a leash with the puppy ears on standard stuff and u start talking to her and she introduces the girl on the leash and says “this is my little puppy, Emily. say hi Emily” and the leash girl does a little bark at u and u say “oh that’s nice” and ur looking for a way to avoid the awkward silence during a 4 second period that feels like a half hour so u ask “does she know any tricks?” so the girl says “come on girl, show ‘em” and the puppy girl gets up pulls out a skateboard and starts doing the sickest kick flips u ever saw

[mishthefish]

The oldest living dog is currently 24 years old, if you’re younger than 24, there are dogs that are older than you. The oldest living cat is currently 28 years old, if you’re younger than 28, there are cats that are older than you. The oldest living horse is 51 (possibly), if you’re younger than 51, there are horses that are older than you.

The point of this post? I don’t know. I find it comforting. If you’ve only lived a dog or cat or goldfish or horse lifespan then don’t compare yourself to the achievements of others who have lived a human lifespan.

[mishthefish]

Teeth weak as fuck why can't you be like bones

[mishthefish]

I think we all need some soup right now. Reblog to give prev a bowl of their favourite soup.

[mishthefish]

[mishthefish]

[mishthefish]

so i'm currently rereading Lolita and, in it, the word "crepitate" is used. i wasn't sure if it had multiple meanings, so i googled it.

now, i don't know about you, but when i type a word like "crepitate" into the search bar, i don't really expect "fart" to appear in any of the top results, and yet:

i was disappointed to learn that there isn't a classification system for farts, but, rather, you can buy a CD featuring a fart competition called The Original Crepitation Contest that Amazon reviewers assure me is comedy gold. okay. mystery solv--

hang on.

this also came up. Google is presenting it as fact.

Google is telling me that on May 16th, in the year of our lord 1972, a man farted for 1/3 of a second at a register of 194 dB.

according to the National Hearing Conservation Association, that is the loudest possible sustained sound. when a sound reaches that decibel, it no longer travels through the air, but moves it. it only comes from things like volcanic eruptions and can cause organ damage.

call me a Doubting Thomas if you must, but i just don't think this is true.

i just don't think anyone recorded a man farting so hard that it created a literal shockwave, blowing his asshole clean off and probably killing everyone around him, because i just don't think a guy did that, and i especially don't think that, if he did, his government name was Alvin Meshits.

at this point i'd totally forgotten i was trying to read literary classic Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov and instead started searching for the origin of Mr. Meshits, fart terrorist. from what i can tell, someone on Reddit just randomly shared it to r/todayilearned and Google went "yeah, this seems true" and now it's just out there.

now someone might stumble upon it and go "wow, that's crazy" and live the rest of their life believing a fart erupted at such force it likely blew its own progenitor to creamed corn.

i don't think Madeline, Texas is even a real place.

[mishthefish]

Spirited Away (2001) dir. Hayao Miyazaki

[mishthefish]

bat opens up their little bat wallet to find they are all out of moths. A worthless $100 bill flies out for emphasis

[mishthefish]

the colors of the sunrise

[mishthefish]

[mishthefish]

i think they should allow everyone in the world to vote in american elections

[mishthefish]

what the fuck is this monstrosity

[mishthefish]