#bisexual aro

[scretladyspider]

Asexual and aromantic are not “spicy straight trying to be special LGBT”.

This argument, much like “you’re not really bi/pan if you are with someone of the opposite gender”, asks for visibly performative queerness then ignores the inherent queerness in these experiences.

If being straight is being allosexual, heterosexual, heteroromantic, alloromantic, and cisgender, all at once, then a person only needs to not be one of these to call themselves queer if they want to.

This always ruffles feathers, but..cishet isn’t the inherent opposite of queer.

Allosexual — not ace or under its umbrella

Alloromantic — not aro or under its umbrella

cisgender — aligning with your gender assigned/designated at birth

Heterosexual— sexual attraction to the opposite gender

Heteroromantic — romantic attraction to the opposite gender

If all aces and aros were cishet, which we’re not but just for the sake of this example, how would this detract from the queerness inherent in asexuality and aromanticism? Each are complex spectrums of a fundamentally different experience than the world teaches us we should have.

Aces, aros, and bi/pan people in “straight passing” relationships are often lumped into cishet as a way of delineating “not queer”, regardless of other factors. But this dismisses queerness and asks for specific, unnamed perimeters to be met for it to be recognized.

When presented with ways that experiencing little to no sexual attraction, or little to no romantic attraction, are in fact in opposition with the expectation for everyone to have both (allonormativity and amatanormativity or amanormativity respectively), people don’t accept it. Or rather, they don’t accept it as a thing on its own. Sometimes this means getting treated as if you’re just trying to be edgy, as if proclaiming you’re part of a marginalized group gives social media clout or something. Other times it’s just not treated as enough on its own by other queer people.

This happens in ace and aro spaces too. Cishet is used often as shorthand for “not queer”, directly pushing away aspecs who may be cishet and also ace and/or aro. It doesn’t seem intentionally exclusionary, but unintended exclusion is still exclusion.

This reflects, also, the expectation of performative queerness that is thrown at bi and pan persons both in and out of queer spaces. There are also many aces and aros who are bi and pan, and who may or may not be cisgender.

The reality however is there is no way to “perform” queerness that is satisfactory to all who demand it. The result this odd sort of existence where when one appears queer “enough”, that is used as weaponry against them, but when it isn’t, it’s used to exclude queer people from queerness.

And the real kicker is asexual and aromantic are enough. Bi/pan folks are still their orientation regardless of what their relationship looks like. Gender is it’s own thing, separate from the others, but related because this all ends up being a pile of queer identity spaghetti.

Regardless of how queer a person appears to you, or if you understand their individual experience… Ace is enough. Aro is enough.

The demand for performative queerness is used to try to defend from harm, but it ends up attacking anyone not visibly queer enough to the beholder.

We need to be more explicitly inclusive — especially in our own spaces, but also outside of them when talking about how queerness operates. If someone else’s queerness makes your idea of queerness more complicated, that’s not a bad thing. Learn from that, and let them be.

If you see someone is ace or aro and then see they’re more like you than you thought they could be, or that they don’t engage with it how you expected, that’s not a reason to be exclusionary. It’s a reason to try to expand what you include in your idea of queer.

Once, you needed someone to include you to feel comfortable in your queerness.

Set your ego aside and extend a hand to those you don’t quite understand. Be inclusive. Especially if someone’s relationship to their queerness challenges what you thought was possible.

thank you for reading if you like this please consider contributing to my moving expenses, there’s $425 to go and anything and everything helps

you can also find my blog, my links, my socials, read/listen to interviews, or just say hi here on my linktree

thank you again for reading and remember to be inclusive! Other queer people are not your enemy. have a nice day!

[kitsu-katsu]

A group of queers of all types is a pride

A group of aces is a deck

A group of aros is a quiver

A group of trans women is a code-camp

A group of enbies is a byte

A group of bi people is a tandem

A group of pan people is a panic

Thank you for coming to my wilderness documentary

[lumatotuwu]

if you say any queer identity is not part of the lgbtq+ community, including but not limited to people with neopronouns, bi people who just happen to be in a straight relationship, and anyone on the ace or aro spectrum, i curse you with the gayest tapeworm you've ever seen

[justarandombrit]

A teacher during sex ed in primary: Well, you may not like it now, but someday all the boys in this room will fall in love with a girl, and someday all the girls in this room will fall in love with a boy.

Me:

[theprideful]

wiggly static pride wallpapers

lesbian | gay

bi | trans

rainbow | pan

ace | aro

nonbinary | queer

please reblog if you save any! <3

more here (scroll)

some palettes used from these flag edits (thanks julien ☆)

[artsymeeshee]

Been thinking about Lithro Stan recently

[bananapudding752]

reblog if you’re one of them queers 💪💪💪

[pansyboybloom]

there's nothing wrong with being a man and wanting to sleep with men and not date them. it doesn't make you proof queer men are sex-crazed. there's nothing wrong with being a woman and wanting to sleep with women and not date them. it doesn't make you proof queer women are predatory. being alloaro doesn't make you a derogatory stereotype. you deserve respect, no matter what

[isabellascarlett1]

Asexual folks are no “less Queer”.

Aromantic folks are no “less Queer”.

Bi/Mspec folks are no “less Queer”.

We’re all just as Queer as any other Queer person.

[artsymeeshee]

Pride boys :D

[sleepycatten]

As someone who falls into 3 of these categories, I feel very called out by my own meme 😅

(Edit: Moved the alt text into the image description.)

[the-delta-quadrant]

nonqueers: being queer isn't a personality trait!

also nonqueers: *stereotype gay men as creative, lesbians as angry, bi folk as extroverts, trans people as quirky, aces as innocent, aros as distant etc.*

[twomanyfandomshelp]

My friend @shellywith2ls found this on Pinterest during our homeroom today, and when she showed me I started dying laughing.

I asked her to send it to me and she just saved the photo and texted it to me, so I can’t properly credit the person who made this. If you see this, hi, I love this, let me know so I can properly credit you 🙃

Edit:

Thank you @voidisnthere for helping me out with the credit!

[beesie]

happy pride 🌈

ko-fi | p/aypal | ven.mo

[ellieisbored3537]

I accidentally sent this to a random gc full of homophones but I spammed hottogo lyrics to cover it up. My friends thought it was silly.