#billie and ramona au

[the-kr8tor]

REQUEST

Y'know, Hobie n R hit the boombahya, now the twins are getting a li'l bro? :3

The twins could be like, 4-5 years old now, maybe?

Yeesss new baby alert!! Thank you, roze ❤️

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader

Word count: 2.1k

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, mom! Reader, dad! Hobie, Billie and Ramona AU, Twin AU, dad AU, fluff

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

Hobie's nervous, and it's not because he's scared for you because you're in labour and actively pushing out a whole new human being, that was hours ago, all the blood and sweat have been wiped clean and the baby now presumably sleeps in your arms. And it's not because he's scared of having a new kid, he's way past that phase thanks to your help. No, it's not because of those things why his hands are so clammy, he's scared whether or not his girls, his first babies will get along with the new addition to the family. Especially when they wanted a baby sister.

He flicks his eyes upwards towards the rearview mirror to check on the girls. Their legs dangle off the car seat that they've quickly outgrown. They should be out of it in a few years, but he's sure he won't be ready to face the fact that the squishy cheeked babies he used to carry around all time are now eight years old with their long legs they both inherited from him. The new baby car seat sits between them, all shiny and new, awaiting the new baby.

They eat their chips and ice cream happily, a little treat he bought for them to soften the blow of the news. Ramona hums a tune, a nervous habit of hers. Her, or your cardigan for the matter sits largely on her frame, sparkly trainers shining in the early morning light. While Billie eats her ice cream cone like she hasn't eaten in days. Like Mona, she also sports one of your jackets, a frilly one that you used to wear back when you and Hobie were just friends. They clearly miss you after just a couple of days in hospital.

Hobie unclasps his seat belt, twisting around his seat to speak to them, like a zoo keeper facing lions, he gingerly takes a chip, waiting for their protest.

“Dad!” Billie reacts first, “I was eating that.”

“And I bought it.” He annoyingly chews to lighten the mood.

Mona lifts her eyes from her melting ice cream to her dad. Always the more perceptive one, she senses his nerves. “Is mum okay?” Her tone makes Billie take a whole 180 on her emotions.

“What– why would she not be okay?” Billie turns to her dad, tone soft and clearly terrified at the thoughts rolling in her mind. “Dad, mum is okay, right?”

“She's fine, Mac,” He can see the relief on their faces. “just— she's knackered, pushing the baby out tired was hard, so can you two promise me that you'll be extra careful with her and the baby?”

They look at each other for a second before nodding. “Okay,” they say simultaneously. Hobie's used to their synchronization.

“Good,” he pats both of their knees. “Ready to head out and meet your sibling?”

“Yes!” Billi exclaims, the ‘s’ sound prolonged.

Mona finishes her ice cream in one gulp, brain freeze evident on her face. The same expression you get whenever you bite into your ice cream. He can't wait to see you too, it's only been a few hours since he left your side but it feels like a year.

Wincing, Mona smiles, showing off her dimples and pearly whites. “I'm good!”

“Let's go then.” Hobie doesn't need to help them with their car seat, but it doesn't mean that he doesn't miss it. All he does now is open and close the doors for them, he feels all nostalgic. He hopes he gets the same feeling when his boy gets the same age as his girls.

Locking the car, Billie skips ahead while Mona takes her dad's hand wordlessly. “Bee!” She yells after her sister. “Look both ways!”

Billie stops in her tracks to check her left and right. Then she tosses a thumbs up behind her, continuing her way towards the entrance of the hospital.

“D’you think we need a leash for your sister?” He tuge at Mona's hand jokingly.

“Leashes aren't nice, dad, they hinder us from our freedom to move around.” She says seriously, or as seriously a eight year old can sound like.

“That's my girl.” Hobie grins down.

“Learned from the best.” She beams up at him, he can't believe that she grew up looking more like you when everyone thought she looked like him when she was a baby. “Aunty Yuri taught me that.”

Hobie scrunches his nose. “You ruined it, cheese.” She clearly knows what she's doing based on her cheeky grin. He's her kid alright.

“Dad! Elevator!” Billie, in her blue overalls, holds the elevator doors open. “Hurry!” She stomps her foot impatiently.

“Alright, we're comin’” Entering the elevator, Billie seems to be jumping all over the walls. Maybe he shouldn't have given them ice cream.

Her eyes flit over the various medical posters inside the elevator, feet unconsciously doing a little dance.

Mona tugs at Hobie's hand, beaded bracelets clinking against each other. “You look knackered, dad.” His heart melts.

Patting her head, Hobie's hand is big enough to cover her entire head. Her curls stick out in-between his fingers and the ribbons she hastily tied around her hair. “I am, dovey. But I'll be alright, mum and my babies come first, yeah?”

“But who'll take care of you?” Her eyes gloss over. Billie heard the conversation through her fog of excitement. She holds the sleeve of Hobie's leather jacket like she always does when she's unsure.

He whispers, hands on both of their heads. “I'm Spiderman, innit? If I can handle lizard on my worst day, I can handle this.”

Mona thinks for a second. She smiles once she gets an idea. “Then we'll watch over you then!”

“Mm-hmm!” Billie agrees, “Like mum always does!”

Hobie would've embraced his girls until he lets all his love for them out, but the ring of the doors opening cuts him off. With a sniff, he feels the tears behind his eyes once again.

“You two are already better at this than me,” he softly says as he leads them out of the lift. He has no idea why he worried so much.

Walking past the nurse’s station, both of his babies are holding each of his hands now, hopping and skipping happily. Their curls bounce cutely, getting a nurse’s attention. Hobie recognizes her as one of the nurses that attended to you.

“You two are adorable!” She coos, “d’you girls want a lolly?” Shaking a jar full of colourful lollipops, surprisingly, the girls shake their heads.

“No, thank you, Mum and dad said to not accept any candies from strangers.” Mona puffs out her chest bravely. Her sister agrees, nodding along to her words.

Hobie chuckles whilst the nurse does the same. “It's alright, love, I know her, go take some.” He urges them, still a tad apprehensive, Billie takes one for the team, taking two lollies. Yellow for her, and green for Mona.

“Wait! What about the baby?” Mona exclaims,

Billie knits her eyebrows.

“I don't think your baby brother is allowed to have a lolly yet.” The nurse, naive to what she just revealed, returns back to her desk.

“What?!” They crane their neck up incredibly fast, shock on their faces, letting go of their dad's hand like they've been betrayed.

Hobie's ready to mitigate any tantrums, mouth opening to explain, the twins’ grins grow larger (and cuter) making their dad go through a rollercoaster of emotions.

“We have a baby brother?” Mona says giddily.

“Told you it would work!” Billie takes her sister's hand, bouncing up and down.

“What would work?” Hobie has never been more confused when it comes to his daughters.

“Reverse psychology!” They both speak at the same time.

“We keep saying that we want a baby sister but we actually wanted a brother! Now we've tricked mummy's belly to have a boy instead of a girl!” Billie explains like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

Hobie doesn't have the heart to tell them that it doesn't work that way. He lets them be, guiding them towards your room as they celebrate their so-called win.

He smiles at them, nodding along. “Yeah, that's great, love— look at that we're here.” Knocking once, he opens the door with a creak.

Billie and Ramona stop from hopping around, peeking inside, they see you sitting up on the bed cradling a bundle of blue blanket.

You smile, shoulders sagging and finally able to relax. Eyes glistening from the mere sight of them alone, (you blame your hormones) you beckon them over.

“My babies,” you softly say, sniffing.

The distinct smell of disinfectant and clean linen immediately has Hobie on dad mode. He remembers the day the girls were born, all shaky legs and clammy hands as the doctor hands them over to him for the first time. Now he has one more bundle to carry, and now he's much more ready and experienced, yet his legs are still wobbly, and his hands are still sweaty. It's like he's back when he first carried his son even though it was just a few hours ago.

He guides Billie and Mona towards your bed, hands on their back, whispering to them. “Indoor voices, mac and cheese. We don't want to scare your brother.”

“Okay.” Mona nods. “Hi, mum, hi little brother.” She softly says, and you scooch to make space for them both on the bed so they could see him better. Mona lifts up her leg carefully, sitting down by your side, planting her face on your bicep. Eyes wide, she holds your hand where you hold your son's tiny leg. “He looks so much like dad. Especially his eyes.” Voice even softer now, you kiss her temple as thanks for being gentle.

Billie has a harder time though, Hobie senses her nerves, whether it's his spidey senses or his dad's intuition, he just knows. Billie is definitely nervous by how she bounces on the balls of her feet, and wrings her hands. He hasn't seen her this anxious since her first recital.

Hobie crouches down, hand on her shoulder, soothing her by mere touch alone. “You alright, Bee?” You watch the interaction in the corner of your eye. Mind still a bit foggy, body still aching, you'd help if not for those feelings.

“Will the baby like me?” She timidly asks her dad, frown deepening on her lips. “What if he hates me?”

“Impossible, angel.” Hobie rubs her back, “he listened to your voice while he was still in mum's belly, and he always moved and wiggled around whenever he heard you. I know he loves you, just like how your mum and I knew that you and Mona would love each other.”

Billie, still his little girl, hugs him right on the spot. Little arms wrapped around his neck, nerves melting off her. Just like how Hobie used to do, he lifts her up, carrying her to your bed.

She sits down right next to her sister, frown immediately gone the moment she lays her eyes on her brother. “He’s so fat.” Giggling, Billie looks at you with the same adoration. “You made him fat, mum.”

You beam at her, you'd embrace both of them if your hands aren't occupied by the sleeping newborn. “It’s because of all the bread and pasta I ate.” Billie and Mona laugh softly, continuing to coo at their brother. Billie sniffs at the blanket, whispering something that sounds like ‘new baby smell.’

Tilting your head at Hobie, eyes tender, you smile at him. Grinning back, he holds your head, placing a heavy kiss on your forehead.

“I was the one who made you all that pasta and bread, you blamin’ me, love?” He says the joke against your temple.

“I'm feeling nice today, so I'm blaming us both. I blame my cravings and I blame you for indulging me.” Moving your head without moving your body to not disturb the baby, (which was a challenge,) you pucker your lips, waiting for him to move. “Told you they'd love him.”

“I should've never doubted you.” With a dramatic sigh, he leans down to kiss you properly.

Now for the next challenge, naming their son. Billie and Mona are already whispering ideas, which includes names ranging from their favourite cartoon characters to even naming them after their uncles. You and Hobie watch on while the baby sleeps soundly, and while your girls argue quietly.

[the-kr8tor]

OWSNJZJQBSOWD I CAN FINALLY READ IT AFTER MY LONG ASS DAY AND IT DID NOT DISAPPOINT ONE BIT!!!

I love the little references to TTN!!!! Also love the alternate universe (kind of) of ttn where hobie and r did not work out exactly as planned but still love each other nonetheless. Maybe this is the AU where r comes home just as usual but has to go back to ny a few years later after having b and r 🤔 either way I love how you weave the little ttn lore into it!! (The cherries 🥹🥹🥹)

The twins being allergic to pineapple takes me back to the time I thought i was allergic bc it left a tingling sensation on my tongue which turned out normal HAHHAHAHAHA also reminds of the movie bottoms where this one character is highly allergic to pineapple 😂

Yoooo the food descriptions were so well written that I got hungry while reading it lol the scene where the teacher does a double take was hilarious 🤣🤣🤣 literally a normal reaction to twins 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 ahhh yes billie having an appetite is canon btw truly Hobie's daughter (i really love how you wrote the slang too!! I was curious abt it and I'm so happy you put a reference at the end! Now I know!!!)

AHHHHHHHH THEY FINALLY MET!!!!!! I LOVE THE LITTLE "WAIT HOLY SHIT WHO ARE YOU LOOK" TO "THAT CAN WAIT SOMEONE'S HURT" They don't need a dna test they're clearly Hobie's kids 🤣 (also arnold my guy that's my daughter you're trying to rizz up with your awkwardness)

I can't wait to read more and for them to interact with each other and discover that they're twins and not some weird coincidence!! I love this chapter sm it's my favourite so far and I cannot wait to see where you take the story next!!!

Webbed Together

Pairing: Hobie Brown x Fem!Reader/ Spider-Punk x Fem!Reader

Word count: 1.9k

Author's Note: Credit goes to @the-kr8tor for their original characters Ramona and Billie. I also want to thank @pinksugarscrub as my beta reader!

Tags: Parent Trap!AU, Dad!Hobie AU, Twin!AU, Billie and Ramona!AU, Older!Hobie, Mom!Reader, Older!Reader

Chapter 3: First Meetings

Laughter echoes against the cobblestone walls as campers rush into the mess hall and line up at both sides of a large central buffet table. Tides of hands reach out to piles of food lined up along the long table– plates of hamburgers and hotdogs, containers filled with chicken nuggets and fries, cling-wrapped sandwiches and burritos, and everything in between. Sweet treats also await for the hordes of children– fudgy brownies, frosted sugar cookies with rainbow sprinkles, custardy pudding cups– while platters of fresh fruits and vegetables remain barely touched in the sidelines. 

A beaming Billie eagerly grabs at a plastic-wrapped sub sandwich before stacking it along the small mountain on her plate, carefully balancing the heavily growing tray with one hand while her free one wiggles her fingers in anticipation for another morsel of food to pique her interest. Annie stands right beside her with her own tray, staring at Billie’s behemoth of a plate with a mix of disbelief and intrigue.

“Are you seriously going to eat all that?” Annie blurts out as she looks up at the taller Billie, who only grins wider as she snatches a brownie.

“Oh c’mon, I’m Hank Marvin!” Billie giggles, her eyes lighting up as her nimble fingers grab at a sugar cookie. “Haven’t eaten in hours since I got here! My dad always told me to tuck in and take advantage of all the all-you-can-eats whenever we have the chance to go out–”

Billie’s eyes nearly bulge out when she sees a lunch lady set down a tray of the most immaculate macaroni and cheese she’s ever seen– creamy, bubbling yellow cheese hiding underneath the golden-browned breadcrumbed top, steam wafting from the tray with the baked cheesy smell tantalizing her nostrils– and a shuddering gasp hitches into the poor girl’s throat at the sight.

“Bloody hell, I’m in love.”

“Jesus Christ, dude–”

While Billie nearly floats towards the middle of the buffet table with Annie following along with a snicker, Ramona approaches from the opposite side. Her long fingers reach out for a chocolate pudding cup before another set of fingers accidentally brushes against hers. Her hand flinches away as she glances up to her side, and her eyes meet a frantic boy quaking before her.

“Uh, I– uh…”

Ramona stares at the boy with a furrowed brow before grabbing the pudding cup and sets it down on his tray.

“You can have it,” she reassures him with a sheepish smile. “I can get something else.”

The boy’s pale face flushes red as she looks away from him before he snaps out of his stupor and follows her lead. “You’re, uh, you’re in the jazz ensemble program here, right?”

Ramona glances back at him with a quirked eyebrow before nodding along self-consciously. “Uh yeah, for bass.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Ramona furrows her brows at the boy, who flushes harder and panics. “I-I mean– I mean, I know be-because I’m in the program too! I just– I’m in the brass section, and I just happened to see you at the front with a bass, and I didn’t think this year’s bass player would be a girl– Not that I think it’s weird! I was just surprised, ‘cuz it’s normally one of the counselors playing, and…”

The boy shrinks down in front of the taller Ramona as he trails off, fingers fidgeting with the indents on the plastic tray. “I’m sorry, I swear I’m not trying to be weird or an asshole…”

A soft huff of laughter slips through Ramona’s lips while she grabs a water bottle from the table. “It’s okay, I get it,” she quietly waves him off with an understanding smile. Her face then scrunches up slightly for a moment, hesitation flickering in her eyes, before she glances back at the boy.

“...I’m Ramona, by the way.”

Ramona struggles not to squirm as the boy stares at her with a dropped jaw, but he soon relaxes with a relieved smile. “I’m Arnold.”

The two finally relax around each other as they start to talk and continue down the line, with Ramona slowly approaching the middle of the table. At the same time, Billie heads to the same direction from the opposite side, her eyes dead-set on whatever else is available while her hand grabs for a carton of apple juice. Both girls continue to shuffle along the table until they stand directly next to each other, unaware of each other’s presence. Just as they are about to turn their heads and see each other, one of the counselors steps between them with a plate of her own.

“Excuse me, girls!” The chipper elderly counselor chuckles as she grabs a large spoon. “I just got to have a scoop of these pineapple pieces.”

The counselor carefully shoves the spoon into the large bowl filled with the bright-yellow chunks and scoops them up before holding it out to the unsuspecting Ramona. “Would you like some, dear?”

Ramona looks up at the woman and shakes her head with a sheepish smile. “Oh, no thank you, ma’am. I’m allergic.” Ramona then gives a parting nod before walking off with her tray and her new-found friend.

“Oh, well, too bad.” The counselor then turns to Billie, who just shoved a slice of watermelon into her mouth, and holds the spoon out to her. “What about you, dear?”

Billie swallows her mouthful, her tongue quickly licking off some of the juice off the corner of her mouth, before she looks up at the elder. “No thanks, ma’am. Wish I could, but I’m allergic.”

“Oh yes, dear, you’ve told me that alrea–”

The counselor does a double take at Billie, her eyes wavering in confusion as her face pinches up. “How– how did you get there?”

Billie looks at her with the same look of confusion before shrugging it off and walking away with Annie, all the while the counselor shakes her head with a chuckle.

“Oh well, you’ll have to excuse the ol’ gal, first day of camp and all. At least I’m not adding salt into the sugar shakers– no, no, wait, it’s actually sugar in the salt–”

As the counselor turns back to where Billie was, her eyes almost bulge out when she meets with a different camper, who looks back at her with a puzzled scrunch on his face before walking off, leaving her alone and more perplexed than before.

----

Arnold's a cool guy, Ramona thinks as she glances over at him fidgeting with the piston valves on his trumpet. After their encounter in the mess hall, the two have started to hang out after their jazz band rehearsals, finding kindred spirits in each other. Right now they’re sitting under a towering oak tree with their instruments, away from some of the other kids playing. Arnold cringes at the sight of growing sweat stains on the other kids' clothes, preferring to stay under the shade and not burn under the sun.

Ramona doesn’t mind, though. She prefers his awkward small talk from the other kids’ clique-like attitudes anyway.

“So your mom actually made that sweater?” Arnold asks in awe as his eyes land on the small pops of red knit cherries lining along Ramona's sweater.

Ramona glances up from her bass guitar, a shy smile curling up on her lips while her eyes light up with pride. “Yeah, this was actually one of the first things she made.”

She adjusts her bass on her lap, the sunshine beaming through the foliage of the large oak tree. “She’s been making clothes for a long time, since highschool I think? She’s been doing a lot of freelance commissions for a lot of people recently though.”

Arnold nods along as he unscrews the mouthpiece off his trumpet to clean it. “So like a part-time fashion designer?”

“Kinda, yeah,” Ramona shrugs before propping her bass on her lap again. “I mean, she has a clothing brand, but it’s not like those fancy designer ones. There’s more for everybody, I guess.”

Her nimble fingers deftly position themselves along the fret and strums, and alow chord reverberates in the air. She then reaches up to one of the tuning begs and twists them before strumming again. “Her designs are so cool though, especially when she’s working with my uncle, who’s an artist based in Brooklyn. He'd sketch out one of his–”

THWAK!

Arnold flops back onto the ground and lands on his back while a volleyball bounces and rolls away from them.

“Arnold!”

Ramona quickly sets her bass down as she crawls up to her friend in a panic. “Oh my god, are you okay?!”

Arnold only groans as he rubs his forehead before an obnoxious laugh rings out nearby.

“Oh man, that was a loud smack!” A stocky boy laughs at a nearby volleyball court. Some of the other kids around him try to turn away and stifle their snickers.

Ramona bristles at the laughing kids as she helps Arnold up, her chest burning and swelling up to yell at them.

An angry British girl’s voice rings out soon after.

“Oi! Why the hell are you laughing, you daft idiots! You just hit somebody!”

Billie hollers at the kids on the other side of the court, her face pinched up into a dirty look. “Benny, you bollock, you better hope a ball doesn’t knock your fat head off your neck!”

She then jogs up to the duo with an apologetic frown as she picks the volleyball off the ground.

“You alright, mate?” Billie asks with a furrow in her brows. “ ’m sorry about those arseholes. Annoying lot, ain’t they?”

She shuffles her feet and lowers her head in regret despite not being the one at fault. “Your head’s hurting, innit? You need help going to the infirmary?”

Ramona lets out a grudging sigh before she finally looks away from Arnold and at Billie. “If you can, do you think you can pick up his stuff from the ground and follow us? I can help him walk–”

As soon as Ramona meets Billie’s eyes, they both freeze at the sight of each other. Dark curly tresses, deep-set brown eyes, darker complexion, tall and lanky stature– no matter how they look at it, they're nearly identical to each other. As they continue to stare at each other in disbelief, Arnold quietly groans as he looks up with a pinched up face.

“Ramona, I’m fine, you can let me go now–”

Arnold nearly snaps his neck as his eyes double-take at Billie, his jaw dropping and his eyes bulging out. He then looks back at Ramona as his face pales.

“...Ramona, is it just me, or do I see two of you in front of me?”

Ramona finally looks away as she looks down at her injured friend, her face scrunching up with shock and worry. Billie snaps out of it soon after and starts picking up Arnold’s trumpet, screwing the mouthpiece back on before putting it in its case and picking it up. She then grabs the bass and slings it over her shoulder before helping Ramona carry Arnold.

“C’mon now,” Billie mutters out to Ramona, “we can’t dally from this right now. Gotta getcha friend checked up first, alright?”

Ramona hesitantly looks back up at Billie before she finally nods. The two girls then carry Arnold over to the nearby infirmary, ignoring the giant elephant in the room for now.

----

British Phrase of the Chapter:

Hank Marvin - Starving (Cockney). Reference of 1960's-1970's British guitarist Hank Marvin.

Reference: https://www.businessinsider.com/british-slang-that-will-confuse-anybody-who-didnt-grow-up-in-the-uk-2017-11#hank-marvin-44

[hinacu-arts]

Kids AU

My first big piece in a while! Not my best work but better than i expected :)

I can finally introduce my Kids AU! Set approximately 20 years after canon, the Hamato Clan has grown bigger with the next generation. The turtles and their friends have all grown up and have children of their own. One winter day they get visited by the teenage 2012!Turtles and Friends and 2012 suddenly realizes they do have a future despite being mutant turtles...

Meet the kids!

Zack, Zero, and Yelda

The turtle twins Zack and Zero are the oldest! They're in the back: Zero is the white mask and Zack is the black mask. Raph adopted them. They're mutated southern painted turtles. Yelda is the youngest! She's the lizard yokai up front with the yellow stripes. Yelda is Zack and Zero's step-sister, and the only true bio baby here.

Suki

It can be argued that Suki is actually the oldest, but the turtles didnt know about her until several months after Raph became a dad. Leo's long distance boyfriend from Earth-2 shows up with a magic clone baby of himself and Leo fell in love a second time. Yuichi thinks she's named after the moon (tsuki), Leo actually suggested the name because he's a ATLA fan (he tried to get her to fight with fans for so long). Her family spends most of the year traveling on Earth-2, but they spend the winters home in climate controlled New York. There is a samurai/ninja rivalry between her fathers. She's a ninja but Yuichi hasnt given up on it just being a phase

SHELLDON, Micky, and Rochelle

SHELLDON is still a AI, and spends his days traveling, but twins Micky (Michelle) and Rochelle are clone babies! Donnie was hurt Casey went to Draxum for her clone baby so Donnie had to make a superior clone baby and the twins were created. Donnie has made them their own battle shells and tech-bos for protection. Unlike Zero and Zack, these twins do not get along.

Billy

William Hamato-Morales. Billy is the one in the striped shirt! He was fostered and later adopted by Mikey and Miles! He's the second youngest but newest addition to the family. His family lives topside.

J.J., C.C., and Shadow

J.J., full name Casey Jones II, is Casey's clone baby mentioned above. He's way in the back. Casey wanted a heir for her brownie empire when Raph got his kids so she asked Draxum to build her a baby. He's closest with Zero and Zack. J.J. stands for "Jones Junior". C.C., full name Casey-Marie O'Neil-Jones, is J.J.'s half sister. April lost a bet and had to name her firstborn after Casey. She's the one holding the "camera". C.C. was a result of April and Casey's relationship, of which they are no longer together. Thats where Shadow comes in! Casey married Gaby (Gabrielle) and Shadow became her step-daughter. She's the one with the horrendous bangs i need to fix so dont look too close at her lol. C.C. and Shadow are the same age and best friends

Next, meet the adults!

[yumeaoka-chan]

A Sure Thing

Pairing: Hobie Brown x Reader/ Demon! Hobie x Angel! Reader

Word Count: 5.4k

Tags: fluff, family time, fighting (just sparring), cursing, badass R(in a sense), title based off of Sure Thing by Miguel, teenage! Billie & Ramona, lovesick hobie, lovesick r, (your friends being disgustingly cute), R is AFAB, no physical description of R (besides clothing), nephalem! children

Summary: You come home to find Hobie and Ramona sparring, because of course they would be.

A/N: So... suprise? Another part to the au, I guess😭🤚 Along the lines of an epilogue. Billie, Ramona, and third child belong to @the-kr8tor 💕💕 I just came up with the son's name.

Part 1 <<< Part 5

Sweat beads at his brow, his chest heaving as he reaches over his desk for his phone. A scowl on his face when he can't quite seem to grab the blasted thing, breath growing heavier the more seconds that tick by. Where was his good for nothing secretary when he needed her?

“The stupid bitch”, the man spits as he loosens his tie, sweat dampening his crisp black suit. He blinks as his vision suddenly swims, colors bleeding together into a blurry mass of light. The man gasps, hair slipping into his eyes and chest aching. The room seems to tilt on its axis and he feels hot, too hot, too cramped. He wants to peel his skin, scratch the itch that has settled on his bones.

Then, like magic, the sensations are gone. Like water has doused the flames. The ache in his chest still lingers and with a shaky hand, he pushes back his hair, gaze stuck on the ceiling. When had he looked up? And had the lights always been off? Shaking his head free of the thought, the man wipes the sweat from his brow. That had been… strange. Perhaps he should go to the hospital, especially since it felt like his legs were glued to the floor, his butt melded into the luxurious office chair. Blinking slowly, he lets his eyes drift back down towards the door of his office, only to startle at the woman standing in front of him. Eyes skimming the figure before him, he sneers and scrunches his nose up in disgust.

“What the hell are you doing here? Security knows better than to let filth in here!” The man barks angrily, lifting his hand up to shoo the woman towards the door. Only to feel a sharp pain overcome his entire body at the motion, like needles pricking his skin and alighting his nerves. His eyes flutter before he fixes his glare at the sound of soft laughter.

“Security couldn't stop me if they tried, Mr. George Barnaby Miller”, you say softly with a chuckle, fiddling with a loose strand of fabric on your jacket. You sweep your gaze over to the stocky man behind the grand desk, movements calm and almost carefree as you slowly saunter closer towards him. A haughty man on his throne. You scoff and shake your head as an amused smile flits across your face. Where oh where have you seen that before…? Miller furrows his eyebrows at you, scowl painted on his thin lips.

“You know my name…? Never mind that”, the man huffs, hands shaky as he pulls at his collar. He clears his throat and taps a finger on his desk, demanding your attention. And with amusement sparkling in your eyes, you give it to him. “Take me to a hospital, stat. Get me there fast enough and I'll make it worth your while. Also, you'll address me as Mr. Miller, brat.”

“Hm. How about… no?” Miller narrows his eyes at your words, fire lurking beneath the depths and threatening to burn you. You aren't fazed by the flames.

“No…? You don't get to tell me no, you useless wretch. Get me there at once!”

“Why would I bring an already dead man to the hospital”, you question with a laugh, snorting at the blank look he gives you. Disbelief colors his gaze and he sneers, shaking his head and pounding a fist on the desk. It doesn't rattle, which seems to get his attention. The air is almost stale, like time has all but ceased at this moment. The man swallows a lump that forms in his throat before giving a haughty smirk, leaning back in his chair.

“Threatening me will do you no good here. Do you even know who I am, trash?”

“I do, actually! Born March 26th, 1925, father died when you were young. Hm, let me just…” With a flick of your wrist, tiny glittering gray clouds materialize into existence, littering the air around the two of you. They swirl and shine and flicker, until a sudden flash of bright light reveals the moving pictures hidden within. You can hear Miller's breath hitch at the sight, see as a hint of trepidation begins to flicker in his eyes. A smile on your lips, you stuff your hands in the pockets of your jacket and sit up top the very edge of his desk. Before he can protest, you jerk your head towards a specific gray cloud.

“Pretty, isn't it? Know what these are, Miller? They're memories. Moments in time, your time.” You mumble as you both peer at a shimmering gray cloud. The moving image inside shows a young boy cackling as he steals from poor beggars on the street, spitting in their faces before running off. The image flickers before showing the boy slapping and demanding money from a tired looking woman. She hands the boy cash with tears in her eyes

“You've always liked money and shiny things. Didn't seem to care who you were taking it from, just as long as it ended in your pockets.” You mused as you idly scratched at your neck, noting how the man behind you is silent as he watches the scene unfold. With a shrug, you nod your head at a different cloud, the flickering scene showing the same woman from before. Only now, she's bowing her head and seemingly spewing apologies towards a fuming couple. The couple have their arms wrapped around a heavily pregnant girl, who could be no older than fifteen. They're shouting as they point at the boy from before, who's older now and smirking with his hands behind his head.

“Poor girl. Got her pregnant and kept denying the baby was yours. Gotta say, nothing has changed about that.” You mumble as the scene flickers to a new one, showing the older boy now wooing another girl as the pregnant girl from before weeps at his feet. This was only making your job easier. You motion to yet another gray cloud and the two of you watch another memory. This goes on and on for what Miller thinks is hours, all the scenes portraying everything he'd ever done in his lifetime. When the clouds poof away in a shimmer of tiny sparkles, he glares at you with his jaw clenched, nostrils flared in barely restrained anger.

“What the hell do you want from me…?” That makes you scoff loudly, shaking your head as you move off of his desk and stand in front of him once more.

“You don't get it, do you Miller…? All those memories we've just sat here and watched, moments of you being nothing but a dick to people… That was your life. That's how you'll be remembered. All the pain you caused, all the lives you ruined. You abused people, your wife, your children. Discarded those who didn't fit into your perfect ideal vision like the children you had from numerous affairs. Stole from the poor, ravaged the needy. That's all they'll see when they think of you.” He laughs, a deep guffaw that comes from the belly as he slaps a hand on the desk. Like your speech just tickled him. With a sigh, you look at him with exasperation as you wait for him to finish. It takes several more moments before he finally quiets down, chuckles leaving his lips as he wipes at his tears.

“Gotta admit… That was a good one. You act as if I should care, as if my heart should bleed for those pathetic sacks of shit. Life has no room for scum like that. They should be thanking me.” Miller spits out, words a hiss of venom for all those people he trampled upon. “I taught them that only elites like me belong in this world, that they should apologize for even being born. No matter how they remember me, it'll never take away from the fact that they should have never been placed on this damn planet to begin with. They'll remember their place in this world, thanks to me!” You just stare at him, silence all you can muster for several heartbeats as he heaves from the drivel he'd uttered. With a sharp inhale, you nod your head, removing your hands from your pockets.

“Okay…”, you breathe softly, standing up straighter as you step back from the desk a bit. “That was your chance at redemption, at repentance, and you squandered it. You won't be mourned…” Angry veins threaten to pop out of his forehead as he gives you a nasty look, eyes wide and teeth bared with fury that makes his entire body shake. He points a thick, manicured finger adorned with several rings at you, hand shaking and twitching with the painful spasms that seemed to wrack his body. The guilty always did like to snap their teeth when it was unnecessary, especially if they knew that deep down, they were in the wrong.

“Know your damn place! Who the fuck are you to judge me, you filthy quim?!” The man's heavy breathing is all that can be heard in the silence of the office, the air now growing colder and thicker. As he wiped at the sweat that was starting to drip down his temples again, he could feel his temper dissipating slowly. You remained staring at him, unblinking and the slight shine to your eyes fading, like the warmth of your gaze was growing colder. There's something stirring around you, something sparking like static. Like a dangerous current of energy. Miller can see it, feels his breathing grow heavier with slight trepidation. Trepidation that slowly shifts into fear at the way the lights in the room start to flicker.

You tilt your head at him and the very ground starts to shake. The eerie look in your eyes grows all the more frigid as they start to glow a bright white, peering deep into what he feels like is his very soul. Papers and supplies suddenly shoot up into the air, whirling and spinning about the two like a raging tornado. The lights flicker sporadically, the violent winds rustling his clothes and whipping him in the face as he gazes up at you in horror. There, erupting from your back and spreading out wide behind you are a pair of glorious wings, casting a large ominous shadow about the room. The feathers gleam and glitter, shifting from pristine white to pitch black with every movement as you lift up into the air. Divine, radiant energy crackles around you, around your very fingertips as you point a finger directly at the shivering dead. Fear grips its icy claws into Miller's non beating heart and refuses to release him as you speak, your voice seeming to rattle his very bones, thundering in his ears like the most vicious of storms.

“I am peace. I am agony. I am light. I am darkness. I am protector. I am avenger. The Heaven's bell ringer. The Hells’ caterer. The Angel who hath fallen from grace. The Angel who hath conquered her fall. The Heavens and Hells demand judgment for thee and judgment I shall bestow.”

Just as his trembling lips begin to part, hastily trying to plead for mercy, a crackling bolt of energy erupts from the tip of your finger. His screams echo in your ears as his soul writhes and twitches, shrinking down, down, down. Until it is but a glowing orb floating listlessly above the desk. The howling wind slowly subsides, the papers and office supplies clattering onto the floor around you. You flutter back down to the floor, stumbling as you land on your feet. Groaning, you place a hand against your head and shake away the lingering glow of your eyes. One day, you'd get used to this part of the job. Hopefully.

Sighing, you beckon the floating red orb towards you with a flick of your finger, tucking it into your pocket once it glided into your palm. The sound of clapping makes you jump, your head whipping around towards the source. Serenity giggles at you as she nears you, hands on her hips as she nods her head.

“Doesn't matter how many times I see it, you're always so bloody terrifying. It's a good look, babes”, she hums as she links her arm with yours. You roll your eyes and shake your head, a smile flitting across your face despite yourself.

“I suppose. I wonder if it'd have the same effectiveness if I was actually in control of that part of the job.” You mumble as you feel a ghost of a hand on your shoulder, patting it in what you're sure was thanks. The Almighty. After giving you your wings back after killing Osborn, the entity had bestowed you with a new title befitting your new sense of self. Not just an Angel but nowhere near a demon. More so, you were the bridge between the Heavens and Hells, delivering judgment to those whose vile acts have threatened the lives of more than just a handful of people. An amazing job that you did with pride and great care, fairly judging the souls that were required of you. The only downside to the whole thing was that you couldn't control when you gave the whole spiel you did earlier. As long as it terrified your targets into knowing the severity of their actions, it didn't bother you.

“Oh, trust. You don't need a speech to be terrifying”, Reni says with a playful scoff, making you chuckle as you open a portal to your home. It then struck you that Serenity was here. On Earth. With a gasp, you turn and look at her with wide eyes.

“Now that I'm thinking about it, why the hell are you here? You shouldn't be out and about like this right now. How did you even get Ned to let you leave the Hells?” She groans and rolls her eyes, patting her pregnant belly with a sigh.

“I had to sneak out. I was feeling cramped! And nobody does funnel cake better than the humans, okay?” Serenity says with a sheepish smile, poking your cheek when you frown at her. “Neddy was fussing over me too much and I needed a break. Not that I don't like when he's clingy. The baby wanted earth food so she gets earth food, dammit! I'm a fully grown succubus, I think I can handle a trip while pregnant.”

“Ned is probably losing his shit right now”, you sigh heavily as you tug your friend along with you into the portal. “He gets a little dumb when it comes to you. Imagine how he's gonna act when he sees you missing.” Reni just groans and stomps her feet as she trails behind you, knowing that you were right. It makes you giggle.

You feel the weight of your day lifting off of your shoulders as you both emerge from the portal, the sight of your home filling you with warmth. A smile flits across your face as you both walk towards the cottage, heart soaring at the sight of your little Aiden running towards you.

Reni lets go of you so that you can open your arms wide, letting out a small oof when the eight year old collides into you. A chuckle leaves your lips and you pull him closer, fingers softly pushing the locs over his eyes away from his face. Aiden smiles up at you with gleaming eyes, dopey and lopsided just like his father. It always astounded you just how much he looked like Hobie, to the point he could be considered his mini me. At least he had your eyes.

“Welcome home, Mummy”, he says sweetly, beaming up at you in the most adorable way that your heart aches. Cupping his face in your hands, you press a loving kiss to his forehead and nuzzle your nose against his.

“I'm home, my darling. What have you been up to today while I was gone”, you coo softly as you lean back a bit to look at him properly. His nose twitches before he gives you an endearing look. Uh oh. A tell-tale sign that he was about to lie. You release him with a raised eyebrow, hands on your hips as you wait for his little story. Aiden chuckles softly and clasps his hands behind his back, black wings drooping behind him a bit.

“W-Well…! I, uh… I paid attention durin’ class today! Mr. O'Hara said I was good! And then, uh… I-I came home and did my homework. Honest!” His cute little smile almost makes you forget that he's lying straight through his teeth. You hum before glancing down at his shirt, noting the dirt caked onto his sleeve. Oh, of course.

“Aiden Lokius Brown, answer me truthfully. You and your sisters have been sparring with your father again, haven't you?” He shakes his head furiously, nose twitching all the while. You suppose that one day he'll get a handle on that. Just as he goes to open his mouth to deny your claims, an arm wraps around your shoulders. A deep chuckle sounds in your ears and you turn to see Hobie beaming down at you. His golden eyes sparkle and his locs spill over his shoulder as he peers at you, a knowing grin on his face.

“Wha’ is all this ‘bout sparrin’, huh? Aiden and I've been doin’ nothin’ but homework. Right, terror?” He drawls as he looks down at a slightly shocked Aiden, who quickly pulls his facial expression together before giving you a shaky smile. The sight makes you narrow your eyes and you gaze back up at Hobie with a knowing smirk, the demon before you visibly sweating under your scrutiny. After a beat of silence, you lean away from him and fold your arms.

“Come on, Billie. Jig is up”, you hum softly, biting back the grin as ‘Hobie’ groans with defeat. A shimmer of dark purple light flickers around him, before the form of your demon melts away, revealing your pouting sixteen year old. She huffs and folds her arms as she looks at you, brown wings drooping a bit in disappointment at being found out. Her clothes are mussed, dirt cakes her cheeks, and her hair has leaves sticking out of it.

“How'd you know it was me? Thought my Dad impression was spot on.” Billie grumbles, scrunching up her nose as you rub some of the dirt off of her face. A chuckle leaves your lips as you playfully yank at one of her curls.

“You and your brother should have planned this out a bit more. Besides, you forgot to add our birthstones that he wears in his hair and his necklace”, you say as you show off your ruby one that matched his sapphire one. Billie just pouts and kicks up dust with her feet before letting out a loud sigh.

“Okay, fine. We were sparring with Dad, though he only wrestled with Aiden. He and Mona are going at it right now.” You just close your eyes at her words before shaking your head and heading to the backyard, your children trailing behind you. The sounds of a scuffle grow louder the closer you get, eyes wide at the scene that greets you.

The flowers you'd planted were all but scorched, lingering purple flames burning the grass beneath it. The very earth looked as though it had been cracked open by an earthquake, the pergola now sitting lopsided. The large oak tree that you and Hobie both adored was now split in half straight down the middle. And there Hobie was, too busy sparring with his daughter to notice the state of everything. The chaos of it all just makes you sigh and you hear Reni’s voice coming up beside you, turning to see Riri at her side as well. The cambion shakes her head and grins as she points at the two, gently nudging your side with her elbow.

“Ramona’s lasted longer than the other two. Wonder if she'll finally beat him this time”, Riri says with an excited gleam in her eyes. You shoot her a glare and huff.

“Ri, you know I don't want them doing this. Look at this mess!”

“If it's any consolation, it doesn't look half as bad as last time”, Reni whispers softly, a sympathetic look on her face as she pats your back. Her hand stills suddenly and you glance at her in confusion before biting back the amused giggle from leaving your lips. Standing a few feet away is Ned, newly finished knitted blanket for the baby clutched in his hands and a frown on his trembling lips as he meets eyes with Serenity. He's quick to march over, the crow demon very clearly upset at the fact that his girl had up and disappeared on him. You watch with a barely contained grin as Reni gives him a sheepish, apologetic smile before gaping at him in shock. Unshed tears shine in his red rimmed eyes as he looks down at her, face slightly red as though he'd been crying. Poor guy. Ned sniffles before folding his arms, the blanket he made still clutched in his hands.

“Go on. Tell me where you were.” He huffs and Serenity all but caves at the sight of him, hands cupping his cheeks as she leans up to press a kiss on his lips. Riri groans beside you at the sight but refrains from booing them, clearly seeing how upset Ned is.

“I'm sorry, Neddy bear. The baby was making me crave funnel cake and I was feeling really cramped at home. I should've told you, I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd be this upset about it, honest!”

“Course I was! You're pregnant, babe! This is our first ever child and I don't want you to strain yourself.” Ned sighs before wrapping his arms around her in a hug. “If you want to get out sometimes, then just tell me. I can always walk with you or have someone else go with you, okay? Promise not to sneak out anymore? It's not good for my heart.”

“Aw. I promise, love.” Serenity coos before kissing him, Riri now officially starting to boo them. Ned flips her off, which makes you laugh. Some things never change. Taking a deep breath, the crow demon gazes around at his surroundings with wide eyes.

“Oh, shit. Wha’ happened here?” A groan leaves you as you're suddenly reminded of the chaos. The cambion besides you snorts at your friend's words.

“Took you long enough, Neddy boy.” You chose not to dwell on the thought of repairs and shift your gaze to observe the fight closely. It looks as though the long sparring session was about to come to an end, Ramona panting heavily as sweat dripped down her forehead. Hobie smirks at his daughter and tilts his head, voice taunting as he speaks.

“Come now, Mayhem. That all you got? Thought you said you was gonna make me eat dirt, huh?” He snickers before beckoning the panting teen closer. Mona grits her teeth, eyes glowing a deep blue and dark brown wings puffing up with growing irritation. Energy crackles around her then, sharp and scorching, almost like lightning. Then, she suddenly disappears in a shimmer of blue smoke, the wispy clouds dissipating into the air. Ramona appears in front of him in a shimmering puff of smoke then, quick as lightning as she kicks him in the chest. Hobie grunts before moving to grip her leg, only for his fist to close around nothing. She's behind him, aiming another kick to his back. Just as he turns around, Mona has appeared at his right, smoke billowing in her hair. She lands quick harsh jabs and kicks, moving so fast that it's hard for any of you to really keep up. Blue smoke trails after her with every new spot she teleports to.

“Go, Mona, go!” Billie cheers and Aiden jumps excitedly beside her, the two overjoyed to see their father actually getting stumped for once. Hobie chuckles, shocked and proud that he's being forced to defend himself before clicking his tongue.

“As amazin’ as this is, Mac”, he grunts before shooting out a hand to grab Ramona by the collar of her jacket right as she appears in front of him. Her eyes widen and she yelps as he suddenly flips her over his shoulder, the two tumbling onto the burnt remains of the grass below. Landing on her back with a groan, she glares up at her smirking father, slapping at his arm firmly pressed against her shoulder. Hobie chuckles and tilts his head down at where he has her pinned, his victory clear. “Not really good to be predictable, innit.”

“Ugh. One of these days, ‘M gonna win.” Ramona huffs, chest heaving and the blue glow of her eyes fizzling out. Aiden and Billie boo at Hobie as he helps her up, patting her head affectionately. Which earns him a pout and a slap on his hand.

“I look forward to seein’ it, Mon. Now, I've got to see to snoggin’ your mum.” A loud guffaw leaves you at his words and you gape at him incredulously while he jogs over to you, your children and Riri giving him a collective number of boos which does nothing but make him laugh and wiggle his eyebrows at them. You can see your reflection in his golden gaze when he's finally close enough, eyes warm and glittering with affection. Dark flawless skin glistening with a light sheen of sweat and piercings glinting in the sunlight, you have to reign in the way your eyes dare to stray lower down the opening of his loose white cotton shirt. His hair spills over his shoulder, crystals in his hair clinking together softly.

Hobie smiles down at you and places his hands on your hips, fingers looping in your belt loops and tugging you closer to him. The action alone makes your breath hitch and the way he looks down at you through his long lashes is enough to make you almost swoon. You reel yourself in, however, crossing your arms and giving him a pointed look. It makes him pause, stopping himself from leaning further down and raising an eyebrow in question at the look on your face.

“Wha's the matter, lovie?” Hobie asks curiously, fingers fiddling with your belt loops still. Narrowing your eyes and letting out a huff, you sweep out an arm to gesture to the ruins of your backyard. Gold eyes sweeping to survey the damage, he winces slightly, lips turning up into a sheepish, apologetic grin.

“O-Oh… We got carried away, huh…?” Hobie chuckles softly, biting at his bottom lip and batting his lashes down at you.

“Don't try getting cute with me. Look at this! I thought I told you I didn't want you sparring with the kids. What if someone got hurt?” The words make your demon scoff, shaking his head as he leans in closer to you, cool breath fanning your heated cheeks. You could tell what he was trying to do and part of you was certain you could resist him. A very small part, though.

“You know I'd never harm my monsters, yeah? Nothin’ happened, love. Nobody got hurt, promise”, Hobie mumbles as one of his hands move to tenderly grip your chin, lifting your face up closer to his, lips just inches from your own. The tip of his nose brushes lightly against yours and you smile up at him so sweetly, so tenderly, your hands moving to wrap around his waist, fingers drawing little patterns on his sides. Your eyes flutter as he presses a sweet kiss to your cheek, your forehead, your nose. As he peppers little kisses on your skin while trying to work you into letting him fully kiss you properly, your fingers trail lightly up his side. Brushing them along his chest, you gently poked right at the space his ribs would be, smirking up at him knowingly when he inhales sharply.

“Nobody got hurt, huh…?” You whisper softly before leaning back to gaze up at him with a raised eyebrow. Hobie lets out a huff of a laugh at being found out before shrugging.

“She got me good, wha’ can I say?” You scoff and roll your eyes.

“They're all getting stronger, Hobes. One of these days, they're gonna give you bruises”, you mumble as you gaze up at him.

“That just means I've gotten sloppy”, he says with a cheeky grin that irks you, a little annoyed that he's still joking about the fighting. Pursing your lips, you pull away from his embrace and fold your arms. Hobie lets out a confused hum, quick to loop his fingers back into your belt loops and gently tugging to pull you back to him. You don't budge, shooting him a glare.

“Nope. You lost kissing privileges.” Hobie's gold eyes widen slightly before a pout forms on his lips, fingers tugging you closer still. He leans down to rest his chin on your shoulder, hands slowly trailing up your hips to your waist and thumbs rubbing tender patterns on your sides. His voice is a low whisper, a whiny mumble that makes your heart ache and your slight resolve to punish him falter.

“I really can't get any smooches? ‘M really sorry, lovie. Gimme a kiss, please?” And now he was asking politely? The stern expression on your face was breaking and you shiver as you feel his lips press tenderly against your neck, piercing cold against your flesh. Hobie's kisses move up higher towards your jaw, as soft as silk and enough to send your heart thundering in your chest.

“Let me kiss you, angel, please? My pretty, pretty, angel”, he murmurs between kisses, effectively melting your heart and shattering your resolve. You sigh and gaze up at him with dreamy eyes as he pulls back to look down at you properly, one of his hands guiding yours to rest on his chest while the other gently cups your cheek. You can feel the fluttering of his heart beneath your palm and Hobie gives you such a dazzling smile full of warmth and adoration that you swoon. His lips press against yours then, soft and sweet and making your heart soar into the clouds. Your eyes flutter shut and you lean into him more, never able to get enough of him it seems. His pounding heart beneath your fingers makes your brain short circuit and the breathy chuckle he gives against your lips makes you weak in the knees.

“Am I forgiven”, Hobie mumbles against your lips, voice deep and low and like the smoothest of chocolates. Damn him for being so utterly perfect, for making a home for himself in your heart and soul. And when he looks down at you with sparkling golden pools of devotion to you and only you, you're reminded of just how much of a goner you are. You softly nod your head, leaning in for another kiss and melting at the pleased hum that escapes him.

“One of these days, I'll stop giving in to you so easily.” You whisper, which makes him chuckle and adorn you with more affection. Only for you both to yelp at the cold splash of water hitting you both. Eyes wide with disbelief and now dripping wet, you both whip your head towards the direction it had come from before glaring at your twin daughters. Billie and Ramona are quick to shake their heads and point over to a sheepish looking Aiden holding a water balloon in his hands.

“Terror…” Hobie warns as he shakes his head free of water, narrowing his eyes at his son who drops the balloon on the ground and holds up his hands pleadingly.

“Wait, wait! Auntie Ri told me to do it!” Aiden cries while pointing to Riri, who gives him an incredulous look.

“You little snitch!” That was all Hobie needed before he bolted towards them, both Riri and your son screaming and running away from the soaked demon King who was hot on their heels. The sight sends you keeling over with laughter, tears escaping your eyes and chortles leaving your lips as you grip your stomach. You'd never tire of moments like these. Not when you finally have an eternity to make more of them.

[lolahaurisfw]

✎ Introduction ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Here i'll only be taking requests for fluff, platonic, and angst! Reqs are always open like usual too, and you can request as much as you want and as detailed as you want! i just get to things when i can/want to.

Anon's: None Yet

Other Accounts: @lolas-favfics @lolamultifandom @lolahauri @chowderpop

AO3: Here

BlueSky: Here

-> MASTERLIST <-

DNI: Map, Zoo, Pro-Para, Pro-Ana, TERF, Zionist, Bigots, Discourse Blogs. Block me if you don't agree. ❤️🖤🤍💚

What I Won't Write:

Smut. (Go to my other blog)

What I'm Willing To Write:

Reader Who Is: Tall, Short, Fat, Chubby, Curvy, Buff. Trans/NB.

Reader Who Has: Depression, Anxiety, DPDR, ADD.

Fluff, angst, platonic, hurt/comfort.

HC's, one shots, short multi-chapter fics, imagines/drabbles.

Canon-friendly, AU's, Canon Divergence, Out of Character.

Ch x Ch / Ch x Reader / Ch x OC / Poly Ships of any kind.

F/F, M/M, F/M, GN/F, GN/M, Poly Ships of any kind.

Fictional Other (F/O) Imagines: +18, no names, they/them only.

Now that that's out of the way, here's the list of fandoms and characters i'm familiar with and will happily take requests on! (you can request others from these fandoms, but it will prob take me longer)

Adventure Time/Fiona & Cake: PB, Marceline, Marshall Lee, Winter King, Candy Queen, Simon, Ice King, Fiona.

Attack On Titan: Armin, Eren, Mikasa, Sasha, Levi, Hanji, Annie, Historia, Reiner, Erwin, Ymir. 

Avatar: Jake, Neytiri.

Batman Begins Triology: Batman, Catwoman, Bane, Joker, Scarecrow.

Bee & Puppycat: Bee, Deckard, Cass, Toast.

BigBang Theory: Raj, Leonard, Penny, Amy.

Bistro Huddy: All Staff Members.

Black Dynamite: Honeybee, Black Dynamite.

BNA: Michiru, Shirou.

Bob’s Burgers: Bob, Linda.

Breaking Bad: Jesse, Skylar.

Call of Duty: Konig, Ghost, Mace, Keegan, Krueger, Valeria, Farah.

Creepypasta: Jeff, Jane, Ben, Toby, EJ, LJ, Slenderman, Splendorman, Clockwork, Kate, Masky, Hoodie,

Desperate Housewives: Bree, Gabi, Edie, Lynette, Carlos, John.

Dirty Dancing: Johnny, Baby.

Earth Girls Are Easy: Mac, Zeebo, Wiploc, Valerie.

Elemental: Wade, Ember.

Encanto: Isabela, Bruno, Dolores, Julieta.

FNAF Movie: Vanessa, Mike, William/Steve.

Frozen: Elsa, Anna, Kristoff.

Futurama: Leela, Fry, Amy, Bender.

Gravity Falls: Ford, Stan, Soos, Melody, Giffany, Bill.

Jane The Virgin: Jane, Michael, Petra, Luisa, Rose, Rogelio, Xiomara.

Jurassic Park (1993): Ian Malcolm, Ellie Sattler.

Jujutsu Kaisen: Gojo, Choso, Nanami, Sukuna.

King of the Hill: Hank, Peggy, Luane, Nancy, Dale, Khan, Min, John Redcorn.

Life Is Strange (2015): Maxine, Chloe.

Lisa Frankenstein: Lisa, Creature, Taffy.

Little Mermaid (2022): Ariel, Eric.

MHA: Dabi, Hawks, Aizawa.

Moon Knight: Moon System, Layla, Khonshu.

Mulan: Mulan, Li Shang.

National Treasure: Benjamin, Riley.

Nintendo: Link, Zelda, Peach, Daisy, Rosalina, Luigi, Bowser, Waluigi.

Norbit: Rasputia, Norbit.

Princess & The Frog: Tiana, Lottie, Naveen, Shadow Man.

Ratatouille: Colette, Linguini. 

Regular Show: Mordecai, Margret, Eileen, CJ, Benson.

Resident Evil: Karl Heisenberg, Carlos Oiliveria, Lady Dimitrescu.

Rick and Morty: Rick, Jerry, Beth, Doofus Rick.

Riverdale: FP Jones, Hiram.

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: Kim, Ramona, Gideon, Wallace.

Scream 5: Amber, Tara, Sam.

Serial Mom: Chip, Beverly.

Silverado: Slick, Rae, Mal, Paden.

Shallow Hal: Rosemary, Hal.

Shameless: Lip, Fiona, Kev, V.

SheRa (2018): All Adults.

Sherlock (2010): Sherlock, John Watson.

Slashers & DBD: Brahms, Ghostface, Michael Myers, Jason Vorhees, Pyramid Head, The Spirit, Huntress, Trapper, Wraith, Trickster, Pearl, Jennifer Check, Stu Matcher, Billy Loomis, Tiffany Valentine, Patrick Batmeman, Thomas Hewitt, Vincent Sinclair, Eric Draven, The Artist, Amanda Young.

Spiderverse: Miguel, Jessica Drew.

Spongebob: Dennis, Man Ray.

Squid Games: Gi-Hun, Sae-Byeok, Ali, Sang Woo.

Stardew Valley: All Adult Humans (Except George & Evelyn)

Steven Universe: Garnet, Amethyst, Peridot, Lapis, Jasper, Blue Diamond, Rose, Greg.

Stranger Things: Robin, Billy Eddie, Chrissy, Hopper.

Supernatural: Sam, Dean, Castiel.

Super Store: Amy, Jonah, Dina, Garrett, Cheyenne.

Tangled: Flynn, Rapunzel, Mother Gothell.

The Batman (2022): Batman, Riddler.

The Breakfast Club: John Bender, Allison Reynolds.

The Nanny: C.C, Fran, Maxwell.

Total Drama Island: S1 Contestants, Chris, Chef, Blainley.

Triple Frontier: Frankie, Santiago.

Turning Red: Ming Lee, Jin Lee.

Twilight: Edward, Carlisle, Alice, Charlie.

YOU: Beck, Joe, Peach, Love.

Young Sheldon: Mary, Connie.

~

Abel Morales (A Most Violent Year)

Astarion (Baulder’s Gate 3)

Babbo Natale (Violent Night)

Barbie (Barbie 2023)

Basil Stitt (Lightning Face)

Beverly Goldberg (The Goldbergs)

Bruce (Beyond Therapy)

Charles Ingalls (Little House on the Praire)

Charlie Dompler (Smiling Friends)

Chel (Road to El Dorado)

Dale Kobble (Longlegs)

Dan Conner (Rosanne)

David Levinson (Independence Day)

Din Djarin (The Mandalorian)

Doug Remer (Baseketball)

Duke Leto Atreides (Dune)

Fezzik (Princess Bride)

Francine (American Dad)

Fujimoto (Ponyo)

Georgia Miller (Ginny & Georgia)

Jack Harrison (Translyvania 6-5000)

Jackson Rippner (Red Eye)

Jon Arbuckle (Garfield 2024)

John Doe (John Doe Game)

Jonathan Levy (Scenes from a Marriage)

John Wick (John Wick 4)

King Baldwin (Kingdom of Heaven)

Kitten (Breakfast on Pluto)

Laurent LeClaire (In Secret)

Linda Gunderson (Rio)

Llewyn Davis (Inside Lleywn Davis)

Master Chief (Halo)

Mike (5lbs of Pressure)

Moe Doodle (Doodle Bops)

Nani Palekai (Lilo & Stitch)

Nathan Bateman (Ex Machina)

Outcome-3 (The Bourne Legacy)

Orestes (Agora)

Paul Blart (Paul Blart: Mall Cop)

Paul Cable (Last Stand at Saber River)

Peggy Bundy (Married With Children)

Peter Mitchell (3 Men & A Baby)

Poe Dameron (Star Wars)

Prince John (Robin Hood 2010)

Robert ‘Bob’ Floyd (Top Gun: Maverick)

Rose Tyler (Doctor Who)

Shiv (Pu-239)

Stanley Ipkiss (The Mask)

Star-Lord (Gaurdians of the Galaxy)

Tate Langdon (AHS: Murder House)

The Janitor (Willy’s Wonderland)

Thomas Magnum (Magnum, P.I 1980)

William Tell (The Card Counter)

[circusgoth-dotcom]

Clownie's F/o List (*COMPLETE LIST*)

Here it is, the extended list and not just the notable characters you can view on my pinned post, with additional basic commentary. This is ever-growing as I consume new media because making self-inserts is one of my favourite pastimes. 🫶

Listed in the order I have their tags in in my personal track-keeping document.

Romantic F/os

Structure: [f/o name] [source] | [relationship status or type] [marriage or engagement date if applicable] | [tag] | [tier]

The Joker [DC Comics] | Married (12•04•21) | 🃏A Joker and His Ace🃏 | #1 Main f/o

Wade Wilson/Deadpool [MARVEL Comics] | Married (07•12•22) | 💣Bulletproof Boys💣 | Main f/o

Charles “Chucky” Lee Ray [Child’s Play franchise] | Married (03•19•20) | 🌈Foul-Mouthed Little Fucker🌈 | Main f/o

Betelgeuse [Beetlejuice] | Married (10•01•20) | 🪲Two Bugs in A Rug🪲 [🐞Two Bugs in A Rug🐞] | Main f/o

Jack Torrance [The Shining] | Married (12•31•22) | 🪓Darling - Light of My Life🪓 | Main f/o

Marcus Holloway & Wrench [Watch Dogs 2] | Dating | 💻Hacked into My Heart💻 | Tertiary f/os, haven't finished watching a play through of the game but I really love these characters

Daniel Robitaille/Candyman [Candyman] | Dating | 🐝Daniel is Orange🐝 | Tertiary f/o, I deeply love him but sometimes I get anxious about shipping with him

John Kramer [Saw franchise] | Married (08•17•23) | 🧩The Missing Pieces🧩 | Secondary f/o

Michael Myers [Halloween franchise] | Dating | 🔪The Night He Came Home🎃 | Secondary f/o, occasionally leaning tertiary

Billy Lenz [Black Christmas] | Dating | ☎️Waiting By The Phone☎️ | Tertiary f/o

V/Codename V [V for Vendetta] | Dating | 📺Love Is A Smoke and Is Made With The Fumes of Sighs🧨 | Tertiary f/o

Herbert West [Re-Animator] | Dating | 💚Love Is Nothing More Than a Chemical Scam (Will You Stay by My Side?)💚 | Tertiary f/o leaning secondary f/o depending on mood

Dr. Otto Octavius/Doctor Octopus [Raimiverse Spider-Man trilogy] | Dating | 🐙6 Arms to Hold You Tight / Does That Make You an Insect???🐙 | He mainly shows up in an AU where I'm in a relationship with both Otto and Norman nowadays, tertiary f/o

Norman Osborn/Green Goblin [Raimiverse Spider-Man trilogy] | Divorced but Still Seeing Each Other | 💵Norman Osborn🎃 | Tertiary f/o leaning secondary f/o depending on mood

Anton Chigurh [No Country For Old Men] | Dating | 🐮Sugar Bully🐮 | Secondary f/o

Phillip J. Fry [Futurama] | Dating | 🚀I've Been To The Year 3000🍕 | Tertiary f/o

Bender Bending Rodriguez [Futurama] | Dating | 🤖If I Only Had A Heart🍺 | Tertiary f/o

William Afton [FNaF franchise] | Dating | 🐇My Funny Bunny🐇 | Limbo f/o, I don't really ship with this guy anymore but my headcanon version of him is a blorbo I don't know if I'll ever be able to shake, especially with Matthew Lillard now portraying his film counterpart. FNaF is also kind of just a limbo interest of mine, I care more about playing with the characters like paper dolls than paying any attention to canon lore, etc.

Sweeney Todd [Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street] | Married (08•19•21) | 💈I Will Learn to Love Again💈 | Secondary f/o

Cruella de Vil [Cruella] | Dating | 🏎️I Know Something About Love🏎️ | Tertiary f/o

Captain Jack Sparrow [PoTC franchise] | Dating | 🏴‍☠️Drunken Sailor & Bonny Lad🏴‍☠️ | Tertiary f/o leaning secondary f/o depending on mood

Jack Skellington [The Nightmare Before Christmas] | Dating | 💀King of Halloween🎃 | Secondary f/o, childhood comfort character

Oogie Boogie [The Nightmare Before Christmas] | Dating | 🐛Lovebug🐛 | Tertiary f/o

Willy Wonka [Charlie And The Chocolate Factory] | Married (02•24•24) | 🍫Sweetest Moments🍫 | Tertiary f/o

Scott Pilgrim & Ramona Flowers [Scott Pilgrim comics] | Dating | ❗Multiplayer❗ | Tertiary f/os

Dr. Hannibal Lecter [NBC's Hannibal] | Dating | 🍽️Ella et Porcus🍽️ | Tertiary f/o

Spamton G. Spamton [Deltarune] | Dating | 📞MORE PERSISTENT THAN A [Pop-up Ad]📉 | Tertiary f/o

Curtis Vaughn [Mississippi Grind] | Dating | ♠️Lucky In Love♥️ | Tertiary f/o

Eric Brooks/Blade [Blade trilogy] | Dating | 🗡️The Daywalker🩸 | Tertiary f/o

Beverly Sutphin [Serial Mom] | Dating | 👗PUSSYWILLOWS DOTTIE!🔪 | Tertiary f/o

Pickles Oblong [The Oblongs] | Dating | 🥒Pickles🥒 | Tertiary f/o

Tony Stark/Iron Man [MCU] | Married (03•10•23) | ⚙️Empire State of Mind⚙️ | Tertiary f/o

Thor Odinson [MCU] | Dating | ⛈️Riders on The Storm⛈️ | Tertiary f/o

Peter Quill [MCU] | Dating | 🪐All Shook Up🪐 | Tertiary f/o occasionally leaning secondary

Egon Spengler [Ghostbusters] | Married (08•25•24) | 👓Spengler Time With Me👓 | Tertiary f/o

Peter Venkman [Ghostbusters] | Married (08•25•24) | 👻You Talk a Lot of Shit (For Someone That Can’t Talk)👻 | Tertiary f/o

Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader [Star Wars] | Dating | 🖤Courage Dear Heart🖤 | Tertiary f/o, the only thing I care about in Star Wars honestly

Hellboy [Hellboy 2004] | Dating | 👹And His Heart Was in Their Hands👹 | Tertiary f/o, used to be a pretty big secondary f/o...

Count Dracula [Dracula 1931] | Dating | 🧛Love as Torrid as Blood🧛 | Tertiary f/o, I mostly use Bela Lugosi's Dracula as a base but I do take inspiration and aesthetic choices from Coppola's Dracula as well, especially for my s/i and his backstory

The Medic [TF2] | Married (08•03•22) | 💉I Need A Doctor (Ohh!~)💉 | Secondary f/o

The Spy [TF2] | Married (01•22•22) | 🕵️‍♂️Mes Affections ne sont pas Un Masque🚬 | Secondary f/o leaning Tertiary f/o depending on mood

The Heavy [TF2] | Married (04•15•22) | 🥪Toll & Smol🥪 | Tertiary f/o

Ash Williams [Evil Dead franchise] | Dating | 🍂Good. Bad. He’s The Guy With My Heart.🍂 | Tertiary f/o

Dr. Jack Griffin/The Invisible Man [The Invisible Man (1933)] | Dating | ���An Invisible Heart Still Beats🤍 | Tertiary f/o

Severus Snape [Harry Potter franchise] | Married (date n/a) | ⛅He Saw a Glow in The Darkness⛅ | Tertiary f/o, in an ideal world we'd all pretend that Snape is my original character and has no relation to a certain disgustingly bigoted author, though I don't post about him much here because of that... huge comfort character to this day and the source of my obsession with all things Alan Rickman

Leslie Vernon [Behind The Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon] | Dating | 🍎Apple of My Eye🍎 | Tertiary f/o

The Janitor/"Nick" [Willy's Wonderland] | Dating | 🧽Cleanliness is Close to Sexiness🧽 | Tertiary f/o

Stitches the Clown [Stitches] | Dating | 🤡A Stitch in Time is Mine🤡 | Tertiary f/o, I haven't talked about him much since seeing the movie but I'm cursed to find all clowns (with exceptions), especially gross and/or scary clowns, attractive 🙈

Logan Howlett/Wolverine [X-Men franchise] | Dating | ❌Lend Me Your Flannel❌ | Tertiary f/o, another character who's source I'm only vaguely familiar with and I really just started shipping with him bc I though Hugh Jackman was hot in this role

Asgore [Undertale] | Dating | ✨Our Love is Magic✨ | Tertiary f/o, my second-longest lasting Undertale crush

Mettaton [Undertale] | Dating/Crush | 🤩🤖 | Tertiary f/o, forever locked in crush limbo and my longest lasting Undertale crush

The Doctor [Doctor Who] | Dating | 🌌The Eternal Playwrights🌌 | Tertiary f/o, I mainly ship with the 10th and 12th regenerations, another childhood comfort character

Norman Bates [Psycho] | Dating | 🦆Good Old-Fashioned Loverboy🦆 | Tertiary f/o

Pennywise [It 1990 miniseries] | Dating | 🎈Urban Legends🎈 | Tertiary f/o leaning Secondary f/o depending on mood

Ronald McDonald [McDonald's] | Dating | 🍟(Ba-da-ba-ba-ba~) I’m Lovin’ Him!🍟 | Tertiary f/o, I told you, all clowns, even mascots, and he may as well be my own character at this point since he hasn't been used in so long

[masterjacobofficialblog]

Master Jacob's Family Trees

As in the real world, the characters of my AU will have a family tree. This is necessary so that you have an idea of who belongs to which family by surname. This post will be supplemented in terms of details, such as how one family tree is connected to another.

Current pedigrees (at the moment):

Royal: Princess Unica, Uncle Dunklecorn, Detective Dan, Princess Unikitty, President Puppycorn.

Paperclip: Richard, Richard's family, Coco (when she got married).

Red: Dr. Red.

Fox: Dr. Fox, Dr. Fox's parents, Mark.

Bunny: one of the most common surnames for both citizens of Bunny Island and not, and is considered a local analogue of the common American surname Smith. Of the famous AU characters, the surname is: Billy Bunny, Dr. Bunny, Bonnibel (perhaps this list will be replenished).

Liebowitz: Bim-Bom's parents, Bim-Bom, Big Bean, Ivy(?), Feebee(?);

Sherbert: Herbert Sherbert, Toni Spumoni-Sherbert, Halo Halo-Sherbert, other children of Herbert and Toni.

Gator: the Eagleator's family, Eagleator himself and his children.

Creeper: Score Creeper and his relatives.

Frown [fake surname, but which was entered and now the Frown family exists officially]: Matful (name as part of the fake name of the President), Ellen, Former Master Frown, Jacob.

Rocks: Crankybeard, Mama Muerta Brock, Brock, Jacob.

Stormberry: the President, Cynthia, Arthur, Danny.

Wang: Lake, Iris, Terra.

Wills: Roland, Trixie, Rolly.

Castillo: Lord Landlord, Bob, Mrs. Landlord, Lalo, Lalo's older brother.

Notes:

The surnames of Hawkodile (and Sensei, respectively?), Flamurtle and Owlmander are questionable, if they need them at all.

If we take that moment from the Eagleator's ads for eye drops with a small needle at face value, then he clearly lived with his parents and probably knew his surname or was interested in it, since he is perhaps a "tragic character" with an explosive character. It only works in my AU.

I don't think Old Timey Moustache Guy and Oldstyle need surnames, because their full names are 4 words (OTMG and Old Styley Caramel Girl) that reflect them. But I think they were called Old for short.

I don't know if it's worth giving the last name to other adult characters like Really Old Edith, Daphne or Toaster, Toast and Bagel?

Frown is a fictitious surname, but Frown can be considered a True Frown and the "pride" of his surname.

Brock and Frown did not take each other's surnames, as this is superfluous and people know them more by their first names "Brock/BrockRocks93/Mr. Brock" and "Master Frown/Former Master Frown/Mr. Frown." While Jacob had a choice – to change the surname Rocks to Frown or add the surname Frown as the second and in what order.

I still don't know what surname to give to the Dino Dude's family, if an analogue of Saur comes to mind.

Perhaps the maiden/previous surnames of men will hardly be mentioned, unless I create a story about it so that it makes more sense to invent them. And knowing me, everything can change.

I dunno if Feebee will have a surname, but I like to think that her surname is Flowers, like Ramona from Scott Pilgrim. Which is ironic, considering that her daughter dyes her hair and at the moment her hair is blue (some points in her design are questionable). And her father is a purple flower in my AU.

Rockets hardly need surnames, but I'll think about it.

[suckitsurveys]

Put your music player of choice on shuffle and list the first 10 songs. 1. Kid Gloves - Voxtrot 2. The Archer - Taylor Swift 3. Wake Up - Arcade Fire 4. Under Pressure - David Bowie 5. Capricorn - Vampire Weekend 6. Doin’ Time - Lana Del Rey (Sublime cover) 7. A-Punk - Vampire Weekend 8. Billie Bossa Nova - Billie Eilish 9. This Island - Le Tigre 10. Time Is Up - Poppy ft. Diplo

Do you have connections to any celebrities (even minor)? Uhhhhhh I don’t think so.

Name 3 items you could pick up from where you are. My phone, my coffee, a Princess Carolyn Funko Pop.

What kind of headphones do you use? Some crap from Amazon.

What musical artists have you seen perform live? A LOT.

Does virginity matter to you? Virginity is a social construct.

What gaming consoles do you or your family own? We have a Wii lol.

Name at least one book you loved as a child. The Ramona Quimby books.

What’s your native language? If that language has distinct regional variations, which variation? (eg. AU English, US English) US English.

What’s your favourite number, and why? 24, because it appears a lot in my life.

Earliest moment in your life you can remember? I remember bits and pieces of living in the apartment before we moved to the house when I was 5.

What’s your favourite candy/chocolate? Kit Kats.

How would you describe your sense of humour? Sarcastic, witty, punny, dumb.

Do you wear much jewellery? Not much. I always have earrings in my cartilage and a ring in my nose as far as piercings go. And I have a permanent bracelet on my left wrist and I almost always have at least a hair tie on my right, though currently I have two Vampire Weekend friendship bracelets on there too.

Last 3 blogs on your dashboard, not including any of your own. Nah.

Longest drive you have ever been on? The drive to and from Boston. On our way there we stopped overnight but on the way back we just went for it and rested here and there. It took us 21 hours total.

Furthest away from home you have ever been? Utah/Nevada.

What programs do you currently have open? This and shit for work.

Last strong smell you can remember smelling? Clorox wipes.

Ever written fanfiction for anything? Hehehehehehehheheheheheh maybe.

Do you track any tags? No. I don’t do shit on tumblr any more except for this.

What is something you feel you’re “due for”? I don’t know, some fucking mental stability?

What is the earliest online space you remember joining/inhabiting? How old were you and what do you remember or miss (or not miss) about that space? I was 12 when I joined a Yahoo chatroom for the first time. I don’t miss it at all and looking back I should not have been interacting with the people who were in there.

Has a hobby or interest of yours been so obsessive to the point of interfering with your responsibilities or “real life”? Uhhhh probably.

If you had to reread a book right now, which book would you reread? There’s a lot I want to reread but I just don’t have the mental capacity for books right now.

What are some media that epitomize an ideal relationship to you — be it a platonic relationship/friendship, a parental relationship, a romantic or sexual relationship, etc.? Bob and Linda Belcher come to mind first but I am sure there are lots of examples.

Have you ever hit your significant other? Has he/she ever hit you? Only with consent.....heheheheh.

What colour is your hairbrush/comb? It’s black and purple. I also have a round brush that’s blue.

Do you care about anyone that doesn’t care about you? Feels that way sometimes.

Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? My sister.

Do you usually get popcorn or soda at the movie theatre? Yes, of course.

How many bank accounts do you have? Two.

Have you ever had the flu? Yes.

What is your goal for the next few months? Not die.

Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? Nothing diagnosed, no.

Have you ever had food poisoning before? No, thank god.

What are two things that you have no problem paying full price for? Tattoos and parking.

Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you? Yes. Not for me.

Would you marry somebody who was intensely religious? They probably wouldn’t wanna fucking marry me hahahaha.

Did you pull a senior prank? I didn’t myself, but my friends did. We had TVs in every classroom that played morning announcements and news stories and shit every morning and two of my friends were helpers in the AV room and one day they figured out how to broadcast Debbie Does Dallas on all the TVs instead of the usual announcements and it was honestly so funny because I went to a private religious school and the teachers were mortified.

Did you graduate? High school, yes.

What was the last song you listened to? Last Night by The Strokes.

Is fashion one of your interests? I mean, I am interested in it on other people, but I don’t care about being fashionable myself on a day to day basis.

Is acting something you enjoy? Sure.

What was the last thing you broke/sprained? I haven’t done either of those things in a while, knock on wood.

Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language? Once, yeah. I said a curse word to a friend while waiting to cross a street and and a mom with her kid glared at me and said, “real nice language” in a loud menacing tone.

Whose house, other than yours and your families’, are you most comfortable at? Lolly’s.

Have you ever burned someone’s picture? Yes.

Would you ever get a lip tattoo? Nah.

Do your parents smoke cigarettes? Nope.

What does one of your T-shirts have written on it? I have a shirt with Daria on it that says “I’m overcome with emotion.”

Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. I’m not sure. I’d be open to any kind of pet if I had the means.

What did you love the most about the town you grew up in? The food, the culture, downtown, the summers, the architecture. I love Chicago.

What’s a book that you read because everyone else was reading it? I mean, I did that for school.

Underwater or outer space? Underwater.

Bird watching or whale watching? Either would be nice.

What is your spirit animal? This term isn’t for white people to use.

What was your best subject in school? Art or sociology.

What was your worst subject in school? The rest of it.

Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds.

[sharkaiju]

If you had to choose a couple songs that go with each of these characters (or maybe their favorites) what songs would you pick? Wendell, Wild, Belzer, father best?

I'm not sure about their favourites, though I do think the boys would LOVE "The Hearse Song" and "A Gorey Demise" by Creature Feature (or anything by Creature Feature really)... BUT I do have (a lot of!) songs that I think go with them! (At least to me lol).

Wendell & Wild together: "Cobwebs and Strange" by The Who. Just fun chaotic energy lol. Also "Octopus" by Syd Barrett (the Dream Faire) and "Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite" by the Beatles for the same reason 😊 OH and of course "That's My Mom" by Graveyard Boulevard, that reminds me of them and their Dad lmaoooo

Wendell: "Raise Hell" by Brandi Calile specifically because of the line "the devil gave me a crooked start when he gave me crooked feet" because like i said i project onto him hardcore, and OOF. And "Start Wearing Purple" by Gogol Bordello because it just gives me his vibes. And the version of "Oogie Boogie's Song" that Danny Elfman does vocals on for sure! Also "O Mary Don't You Weep" by Bruce Springsteen, just because I feel like he's the one that knows how to comfort Kat ya know ❤️ (In that same vein: "Ramona" by Bob Dylan)

Wild: "Why Don't We Do It In the Road" by The Beatles. Oh my gooood this song. Did I mention I have a crush on him?? Lmao. "Wild Thing" by the Troggs is an obvious choice but also it fits tho. Also "In the Summertime" by Mungo Jerry gives me his vibes. I'm not sure why but "Punk" by the Gorillaz does too!

Belzer: OMG for sure "Bald Headed Men" by Christine Lavin lmao. But seriously. "How You Like Me Now" by the Heavy is Belzer af. And of course Oogie Boogie's Song because they remind me of eachother (starting to think I have a type lol).

Father Bests: For canon Bests definitely "My Church Is Black" by Me and That Man. I think he has a looot of guilt ya know? More specific to my AU Bests: "Supertheory of Supereverything" by Gogol Bordello and hooow. If for no other reason than the first lines are "First time I had read the bible, it had stroke me as unwitty. I think it may start the rumour that the lord aint got no humour." Also "All the Good Girls Go to Hell" by Billie Eilish because same vibes. Ooh and definitely "Grace for Sale" from The Devil's Carnival!

[flor-de-un-salon-viejo]

Ofc Eddie: Ramona

Max: Kim? Julie? Stacy? Idk

Dustin: young Neil

Vecna/001: Gideon

Billy: Lucas? Todd?

this ask is reference to this post

sorry anon for taking so long to answer I think that billy as lucas lee and vecna as gideon are a good idea I see max as stacy but I think dustin is more fun as julie XD ANYWAY here is a fan art of this strange pilgrim au ¿? (I'm missing the lucas/billy and the gideon/vecna but I've been on the computer all day and my eyes already hurt to continue drawing XC)

(with the exception of the drawing in the upper left corner, all are mainly traced from the panels of the comic)

obviously this AU is not exactly the same as the scott pilgim comic

[the-kr8tor]

Oh so you want dad!Hobie requests? Take this shot;

dad!Hobie planning a mother's day surprise for R with the twins 🥹 he wants to make something handmade (of course) with them as a gift and a family dinner and R can't move a finger! It's her day so Hobie is the one responsible for everything as she rests and/or gets some quality time with the three loves of her life.

(R may be a bit skeptical because for a week Hobie's been acting weird from all the hiding but she just gives him the benefit of the doubt and in the end it's just him being utterly in love for her)

(Ow why'd you have to shoot me, bleaky?) Thank you for the lovely request!! 😘❤️❤️❤️

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, dad! Hobie, mum! Reader, Billie and Ramona AU, dad AU, twin AU, Fluff.

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

You wake up to silence, it's quiet, and you smile, muscles relaxed as you hug your pillow. Eyes opening wide awake, you realize that it's too quiet. You've overslept, judging from the clock that blinks eleven am. This would be heaven for you but the eerie quiet has you flipping the covers away hastily, almost tripping over your own feet as you leave your shared bedroom; not even bothering to put on your slippers. Your mind races to different scenarios, a villain has your daughters, your five year old girls are currently making their own breakfast downstairs and now there's a fire. Or worse, green goblin is making breakfast for them.

“Billie!” You call, feet bounding down the stairs. “Mon—!” Skidding to a halt, you release a sigh of relief at the scene in front of you.

Your little family has their own aprons on. Hobie has your purple frilly one, while Billie and Ramona have their own, pink and yellow with little butterflies that's a bit big on their little frames. Their curls all tied up atop their heads neatly, courtesy of Hobie. All three of them are properly dressed up, like they've been awake for hours. You guess that they have been based on how messy the kitchen is, yet there's no speck of sauce or icing on their chubby cheeks or on their cute outfits.

They freeze on the spot, like you just hit pause on the remote control. Billie has her finger floating above a bowl, probably sneaking a taste while her dad is turned away, kneeled in front of the oven where he's halfway taking out a freshly baked cake. His mouth agape, hazel eyes blinking like a deer in the headlights. You just now notice how your home smells like a bakery and a restaurant. Sporting a pair of baking mitts on, he winces at the ruined surprise. Mona's eyes are wide, a box of sprinkles in her smaller hands. A huge dollop of the sugary treat escapes the confines of the box, colourful sprinkles raining down on the pink icing.

“Hi mummy—” Mona tries to nonchalantly greet you but Billie surrenders, arms raised, grinning from ear to ear.

“Happy mother's day, mummy!” Billie quickly climbs down the stool with the grace of a baby giraffe. Socked feet running towards you, you bend your knees to catch her before she hits your legs. Giggling, she embraces your neck. “Surprise!”

“Oh thank you, dovey!” Pecking her temple, squeezing her tight, you feel Mona tugging down at your shirt. “Hi, baby.” Beaming down, you scoop her up, already an expert at carrying your two babies at once.

Mona holds out a candy flower for you, a shy smile on her lips, eyes soft and adorable at how she looks at you like you deserve the whole world. “Happy mummy's day, mummy.”

“Thank you, my flower.” She hides her face on the crook of your neck, you'd shower them both with kisses but someone else gets your attention.

Hobie saunters over to you, a bouquet of flowers in his arms that he procured from somewhere. All multicolored petals and seemingly out of this world. Still in your apron, he reaches for you all smooth and suave, eyes glued to your flustered face. Pulling you by the waist, he single handedly holds the three of you.

“Mornin’”

“It's definitely a good morning.” The twins watch the interaction, their eyes flicking over to the enticing flowers that seem to be painted with watercolors and with its petals opening and closing slowly. “What's all this?”

“It's mother's day, love. Did you forget?” Hobie teases, mischievous smile that you eagerly want to smooch away. You resist while your babies are still in your arms.

“Actually I did, I had a busy week.” You apologetically say even though none of it was your fault. There was trouble at work, to which you had to stay far longer than you should have for a couple of days. Then there was Mona who had the sniffles, and of course Billie followed with her own fever. On top of all that, you missed Hobie dearly while he had to stay overnight in spider society.

Hobie knows you had a crappy week, he appreciates everything you do, to the smallest things, to the heavier stuff that he wouldn't have solved if not for your help and mere presence alone. He wants to say so much gooey lovey stuff to you, to show how much he still loves you even after all these years of being together. And how that love has never wavered even for a second.

But for now, he'd settle for the breakfast that he and his girls prepared for you. There's lunch too, and dinner. He thinks that the surprise isn't all ruined since he still has a few tricks up his leather sleeves.

“Let's help you remember, yeah?” Hobie turns towards Billie and Mona who are mesmerized by the flowers. “What do you say, mac and cheese, let's give mum the best mother's day?” They stay quiet, eyes glued onto the other wordly flowers. Looking at it closely, it's all mechanical. You then realize that he made the entire bouquet, the thought has your heart melting.

Hobie shakes his head with a smile. “When I told you lot to keep quiet while baking, I didn't say to forever be this quiet. You two are scaring mum and dad.”

You chuckle, shaking them lightly in your arms. They look like they're out of the spell. Grinning up at you, eyes sparkling under the kitchen lights. They hug you simultaneously, you can feel how they relax completely in your arms just like how they used to back when they were still in their cribs. There's a part of you who wishes they don't grow up too fast so you could have more moments like this.

“How'd you get them to stay all quiet?” You ask, there's heat behind your eyes. Tears of happiness almost spilling over when Hobie places the flowers behind him and on the counter to hold you fully in his arms. He subtly helps with carrying the girls with how his arms snake around and under yours .

“Simple, told ‘em it was all for mum.”

You could feel the sob in your throat, Hobie laughs, not at how your lips wobble but it's the only thing he manages to do from how deep he is in the fog of affection around you four.

“Happy mother's day, love.”

[the-kr8tor]

Omg the scream I scrempt when I saw this!!! QISBJSJWBSJWIS BILLIE MY OTHER BABY!!! OH I LOVE IT!!! GASP HER MIDDLE NAME IS JEAN!! JUST LIKE BILLIE JEAN AHHHHHHHHHHH GENIUS! SO BRILLIANT!! 👏

AND NED'S HERE TOO!!! And ofc getting bullied by an 11 year old 😂😂😂😂😂

Oooh and here I thought r saw hobie last time but it was Billie (?) or was it Ned? Either way that's scrumptious! You bamboozled me! Also is annie a reference to the original protagonist of the movie? If so that's so cool!

This is amazing! I love it!!!! I definitely ate this up!!! You did such a great job! ❤️❤️❤️

Webbed Together

Pairing: Hobie Brown x Fem!Reader/ Spider-Punk x Fem!Reader

Word count: 1.4k

Author's Note: Credit goes to @the-kr8tor for their original characters Ramona and Billie as well as their recurring character Ned. I'd also like to credit ❄️ anon from @the-kr8tor 's blog for their idea of Pom-Pom the rabbit!

Tags: Parent Trap!AU, Dad!Hobie AU, Twin!AU, Billie and Ramona!AU, Older!Hobie, Mom!Reader, Older!Reader

Chapter 2: Billie

The moment Billie steps foot into the bustling Camp Feast in her father’s lucky red vest, she knows she’s right at home.

Dark eager eyes roam around the campgrounds, lighting up at the sight of kids around her age running around with their own luggage and instruments. The clashing of different sounds send shivers down her spine while her lips curl up into a cat-like grin. With her fingers fidgeting with the Union Jack patch on the vest, itching to take out and play her violin, Billie sets her small leather case down on the hood of the car, the metal edges of the case clanking against the metal, before her thumbs unlatch the bronze hinges on the sides.

“Oi, Billie!”

A deep British timbre of a voice breaks Billie out of her reverie as her uncle Ned pops his head out from the side of the open trunk, his pierced eyebrow raised in feigned annoyance while he lugs out a large suitcase. “Be careful, yeah? This car’s a rental, damn it.”

Billie rolls her eyes in amusement as she innocently grins back at him. “Oh c’mon, Uncle Ned,” she chirps with her own British accent breaking through the background noise as she pulls her violin out of the case, “you’re not the one paying for it. Dad said to relax and let him take care of–”

“Silly Billie, I love you, but I refuse to take what your dad says at face value,” Ned snorts while he sets Billie’s suitcase down on the ground before slamming the trunk shut. “Besides I’m the one who handles the expenses for the band, not your dad, so I do haveto worry.”

Billie’s bottom lip juts out into a small pout, making Ned snort before walking over to her and ruffling her hair. “Oh c’mon, put that away. You’re a big girl now, yeah? You’re already ten—“

“Eleven!” Billie huffs out with an annoyed glare, “I just turned eleven, Uncle Ned—“

“Yes, yes, you’re eleven,” Ned snickers again with a teasing glint in his eye, ruffling her wild curls some more. “You’re already growing up so fast, you little beanstalk.”

Billie huffs out again as she swats Ned’s hand away, but he only laughs it off before pulling her into a hug.

“You really are growing up so fast, mac…”

Billie’s face drops as Ned’s voice trails off into a sentimental hush before she wraps her arms around his waist with a soft sniffle.

“…I’ll make sure to write,” Billie mumbles into Ned’s shirt, earning another quiet snort from Ned.

“Hm, that’d be nice,” he replies with a teasing huff. “You already have the address for the airbnb?”

“Yeah.”

“And your stamps?”

“Yeah.”

“And your notebook and envelopes?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“And your pencils and rubbers—“

“Uncle Ned.”

Ned chuckles again as Billie looks up at him with a deadpan before rocking her back and forth in his arms. “Alright, alright. When your camp thing is over, either your Aunt Yuri or Uncle James’ll pick you up, okay? Your dad and I’ll hafta deal with the venue before our concert in New York at the end of the summer.”

Billie nods along as she looks up at Ned with a broad smile. “And I’ll be backstage this time, right?”

“Of course, little beanstalk,” Ned ruffles her hair one more time before gently pulling away. “Now go on, get your stuff put away before I change my mind and drag you back into the car.”

Billie’s eyes widen at his faux-threat before quickly grabbing her open violin case, eliciting a squawk from Ned as the metal edges nearly scratch the rental car, and her suitcase before she runs off towards the crowd of kids and counselors. “Bye, Uncle Ned!”

“You damn brat!” Ned huffs out while he watches Billie stumble and waddle away with her luggage.  Despite the annoyed rumble in his voice and the narrowing of his eyes, a tender smile curls up on his lips as she slowly disappears into the crowd before he reluctantly walks around and heads back into the car.

——

A loud grunt forces its way out of Billie’s mouth as she tosses her suitcase on top of her assigned bunk, her violin on top of her pillow. She puffs a breath to blow a loose curl out of her face before it flutters back down, resulting in her face scrunching up and her pushing her curls away with an annoyed pout. Her eyes warily glance down at her suitcase, with its latches barely clutching each other and holding in the contents bulging within. With her head turned away and with only one eye cracked open, her thumbs inch closer to the bottoms of the silver clasps in slight apprehension. As soon as her thumbs gently push the latches up, her suitcase instantly erupts into an explosion of clothes and trinkets flying around her.

“Oh bloody hell!”

Billie groans at the mess before she kneels down to grab her things, oblivious to the sound of door hinges squeaking behind her as she tosses her belongings on her bunk. Crawling on the hardwood floor with her hair fluttering down over her scrunched up face, she continues to mutter more expletives under her breath before a pair of off-white sneakers peek through her curtain of curls and enter her line of vision. Her head snaps up as she pushes her hair out of her face again, revealing a bespectacled girl with confused amusement behind her thick frames.

“Uh…is this yours?”

The girl holds out an old stuffed white rabbit to Billie. The plush animal has a pink stitched nose on its protruding muzzle, as well as a missing button eye and mismatched patches scattered across its body. Billie’s eyes light up before she grabs the toy from the girl.

“Pom-Pom!”

Billie hugs the stuffed bunny against her chest before she looks up at her newly-decided friend. “Thanks by the way,” she laughs before pushing herself up from the floor, her height almost towering over the short girl by a few inches as she holds her hand out with a cat-like grin. “Billie Jean Brown, nice ta meetcha. But you can call me Billie.”

The girl lets out a small laugh of her own as she pushes her glasses up before grabbing Billie’s hand with a shake. “I’m Annie.”

Billie’s smile grows even more as Annie puts her duffle bag and a small skinny case down on the bed next to Billie’s bunk. Annie then flops down onto the mattress with an ‘oof’ before she unzips her duffle bag.

“So you’re, like, from England, right?” Annie casually asks while carefully pulling out some pictures and other trinkets. “Do you live next to the Royal Family or have you seen them? Do you guys really drink a lot of tea and have those fancy tea parties over there?”

A snort slips through Billie’s nostrils before she barks out a hearty laugh, flopping down on her own bedding as she hugs Pom-Pom against her chest. She pushes her curls out of her face again, revealing small glints of silver lining along her ears.“I mean, yeah, I live in London, but not near Buckingham Palace. More up north if anything, further into Camden.”

Billie then leans back and gestures to her outfit with a flick of her wrists- her dad’s red leather vest, lined with silver studs and countless colorful pins, over an old punk band shirt tailored to her size, denim jeans with handmade patches over her knees, and scuffed converses. “And do I really look like I go to fancy tea times?”

Annie rolls her eyes with a cheeky smile before she props her hands behind her, the metal springs in her bed quietly groaning under the weight. “But you do drinktea?”

“...yeah.”

A snicker slips through Annie’s lips before she pushes herself off her bed and holds her hand out to Billie. “Well either way, you’re definitely not in London anymore, but I’m pretty sure you’ll like it here.”

A mischievous smirk curls up on Billie’s lips before she grabs Annie’s hand, setting her Pom-Pom down on her bed before following Annie out of the cabin.

“By the way, Annie, you know how to play poker?”

Annie laughs a little more as she shakes her head, and Billie lets out a feigned disappointed sigh.

“What a shame,” Billie shrugs before her smirk curls up more. “Off topic, but how much money did you bring for this trip?”

The cabin door then slams shut while Billie continues to lure her new friend-turned- potential victim into a sense of security.

[zodiyack]

Stranger Things Masterlist

Back to Masterlist 

Prompt List One / Prompt List Two / Smut Prompts  | Send Me Requests and/or feedback!

Taglist(s)

★ = smut

⋆ = presmut

♡ = fluff

☁ = angst/violence

☠ = death

General

Stranger Things as things my friends my friends have said

Stranger Things as things my boyfriend has said

Billy Hargrove

Series ~

Catching Feelings ☁ ♡ (Warnings may vary) (Incomplete) (On Hold)

The new guy can get to every girl except for Y/n, and he’s determined to change that. But one drunken accident resulted in the two of them sleeping together, as well as some bubbly giggles and confessions from Y/n. Maybe that was all it took to get THE Billy Hargrove to change. Just maybe.

Trailer. Prologue. Part One.

Billy Hargrove VS The World (Scott Pilgrim Vs the World AU) (Warnings Vary) (Incomplete)

Simple au, Scott Pilgrim goes after Ramona... but let’s shake things up. Billy goes after Y/n. A simple...well, not so simple girl, with “some serious battle scars dude.” Can he take on her “battle scars”? Or will they shut him down once and for all?

Part one. Part two. Part three. Part four. Part five. Part six. Part seven

Song Fics ~

True Colors - Cyndi Lauper ☁ ♡

Rude - Magic! (3,000+ follower special!! 1/3)   ☁ ♡

Fics and More ~

Dancing With You ♡

Billy is left home alone with nothing to do due to the rain outside, but when he hears a noise that bugs him, he decides to investigate, leading to the discovery of something beautiful

Christmas Special | Taking Billy To See Christmas Lights ♡

Billy doesn’t really do much on Christmas, so when his girlfriend talks about a Christmas surprise, he has some…ideas, but what really happens brings joyful laughs and moments to the couple.

A Very Random Valentines Day Special  ⋆ ♡

I did this with Tommy Shelby! As said, very random.

Happy Easter, Baby ♡ ☁

An Easter special while I write. Please read the note!!

Dinner With The Law ♡ ☁

Billy’s dating Hopper’s other daughter, Y/n, and when Eleven accidentally reveals Y/n is spoken for, Hopper demands to meet the “lucky guy”. Billy Hargrove wasn’t exactly who he had in mind.

Robin Buckley

Fics And More ~

A Day At Scoops ♡

(Requested) Robin brings her girlfriend to visit while she works, and unfortunately, the girl doesn’t care much for warnings. Wet floor signs are no exception.

Steve Harrington

Fics and More~

Man Of My Dreams ☁ ♡

(Request) I guess a good way to describe this is- Ever seen 50 First Dates? (if not, it’s an AU where reader has Anterograde Amnesia and remembers everything up to the point where she lost her memory, so after she meets Steve for the first time, she meets him again and again and again...for the first time.)

Adventures In Babysitting (500+ Follower Special) ☁ ♡

Steven and Henderson!reader are missing out on a date to take care of Dustin. So, feeling slightly guilty, Dustin finds a way to make up for it by making it fun again.

Nancy Wheeler

(No fics yet, but feel free to request when requests happen to be open!)

Jonathan Byers

Song Fics ~

Should I Stay Or Should I Go - The Clash ☁ ♡

Eddie Munson

Head Cannons ~

PDA (The Headcannons)  ♡

Licking Eddie’s happy trail  ★

Song Fics ~

Separate Ways - Journey  ♡ ☁

Fics And More ~

Drug Date  ♡

Requested: Eddie and Y/n Henderson seem to be in the same place multiple times, Eddie getting too close for Dustin’s comfort. He assumes the worst when the infamous drug dealing freak drives off with Y/n in the middle of the night, but is met with a whole different situation

PDA (The Fic)  ♡

Requested: Eddie and Y/N are shameless about showing their affection, no matter the setting.

Flowers  ♡

Requested: Eddie was too shy to confess his feelings for his childhood crush and neighbor, until it was too late and she moved away just before highschool started. Ever since, the super senior has been haunted by her memory...but as his birthday draws near, it appears as though she never forgot him either.

Fingers  ★

Requested: based on a tiktok where guy is pretty much f!ngering his gf so fast he breaks his fingers

Your Type  ☁

Requested: Eddie and a cheerleader are dating, but when his friends ask about her, he says she’s not his type. Little does he know, she saw and heard the whole thing.

Your Type II  ☁

- Part two. (Inspired by “I Really F**ked It Up” - GIRLI) Can Eddie get her to forgive him?

Pick Up Lines  ♡

Requested: Dustin is absolutely disgusted and disappointed with Eddie and his sister. First they were just touchy, then they were annoying, touchy, and had horrible pick up lines.

Loosen Up A Little  ☁

Requested: Eddie goes to the beach with Y/N (GN!). At first hes super not into it, but he warms up to the place in no time, he just needed to Loosen Up A Little.

Coughing Fits

Requested: FTM!Reader is smoking with Eddie, when he suddenly begins to cough violently. Eddie is scared shitless, meanwhile, Y/N is just trying to get some water

Dear Diary  ★

Requested: Eddie’s best friend has a diary, which he finds, and in said diary, he discovers her love for him. Y/n comes home and Eddie shows her his feelings about her own.

A Shoulder To Lean On  ♡

Requested: Y/N has a PTSD flashback, and Eddie comforts her.

My Dancing Queen  ♡ 

Requested: Eddie swears he’d never play Dancing Queen, despite it being Y/N’s favorite song, but when she gets possessed by Vecna, he has to break that promise he made to himself.

But This Is Eddie  ♡ ☁

Requested: Eddie is an oblivious mess when his girlfriend gets jealous. She isn’t subtle about it either.

Henry Creel / 001 / Vecna / Peter Ballard

(No fics yet, but feel free to request when requests happen to be open!)

Alexei Smirnoff

Fics And More ~

Operation Ghost

(Request) Alexei survived, was taught English by Murray, and did his ghostly duty to finish his unfinished business.

Jim Hopper

(No fics yet, but feel free to request when requests happen to be open!)

Joyce Byers

Fics and More ~

Lunch ♡

Young/Teen!Joyce and (Gender neutral)Y/n eat lunch under the stairs, Y/n subtly confesses their crush.

 Dmitri Antonov

(No fics yet, but feel free to request when requests happen to be open!)

[yumeaoka-chan]

Walls Will Crumble(say the word)

Pairing: Hobie Brown x Reader/ Demon! Hobie x Angel! Reader

Word Count: 8.4k

Tags: Cursing, blood, gore (oops), reunions, flashbacks (it's all coming together), death (it's not that bad, I promise), fighting, scared reader, angry reader (furious even), Billie & Ramona, angry hobie, crying, norman osborn (cuz that mf needs his own tag, ew), degradation (screw osborn, real talk), panic attack?? (kinda, but not really), title based off of Don't Think Twice by Hikaru Utada, no physical description of reader (besides clothing), reader is AFAB, sparse use of y/n (just once, promise)

Summary: A century in the dark. A century of loss. A century of longing and aching… It's high time you get the revenge you so deserve, no? A/N: Credits for the lovely banners go to @the-shroom-garden !!! Another late entry for Octobie @the-kr8tor , oops! Billie, Ramona, and third child belong to Katy! Last part of the au that has been keeping me up for several days now🫠💕💕

Part 4 >>> Part 5

The sound of knocking at your front door startles you slightly, the soapy dish in your hand falling into the sink. Rinsing your hands off and wiping them on a dry dish towel, you walk into the living room of your apartment slowly. You weren't expecting any visitors, especially since your friends have been out of town. “A business trip”, is what they had said when you questioned why all three of them had to leave together, sheepish smiles on their faces. You'd brushed it off and believed them because they actually did work together at a small local clothing shop. Maybe their boss wanted to treat them for their hard work, you weren't sure. Besides, the guilty look in their eyes for having to leave you for three whole months made you weak and quick to reassure them. Even if three months was an absurd amount of time for a business trip.

Peering out of the peephole, you squint your eyes at the sight of a tall man biting on the long nail of his thumb, foot tapping on the doormat. He looked a little nervous and a bit… familiar. You unlock and open your door just enough to peek your head out, the man's head whipping around immediately to meet your eyes. Piercing golden orbs gaze back at you, warm and glittering and oh so familiar. Your mouth drops open as you hurriedly open the door wider, gazing up at the man before you and raising a hand up to gently rest it on his arm. You never thought you'd see him again. After that night you met, you'd gone to see him again a few days later like you promised you would. Only for disappointment and slight concern to fill your chest at the sight of his corn maze burned to the ground, the soil black with the ashes of the burnt plants. There were no remnants of a scarecrow to be seen, just a few burnt straws of hay laying in the very middle. And though the logical side of you tried to remind you that he was a demon and he'd be fine, you still found yourself worrying.

“Hobie…? Y-You didn’t burn to a crisp…?” You whisper softly as you peer up at his face, noting all the little changes. His face looked shaper and a bit fuller, like he'd finally been eating well. He was taller too, the top of your head barely reaching past the middle of his chest. Long locs spilled over his shoulders and down his back instead of the freeform wicks, shimmering crystals weaved into his hair and hanging from the ends. Hobie sports a leather jacket adorned with several pins and spikes, as well as black combat boots with jingling chains dangling off the belt loops of his plaid jeans. He looks good, beyond good. Amazing. You can feel your cheeks warm up a bit as he chuckles lowly, your heart fluttering at the deep voice you'd longed to hear these past few months. He's tender in the way he grips your wrist and guides your hand to rest on his chest, letting you feel the way his own heart flutters beneath your palm.

“I was a good boy, lovie. No eatin’ any angels, remember?” Hobie murmurs as he leans down just a bit while looking down at you through his long lashes, eyes shining with a fondness to them. You roll your eyes as a smile flits across your face.

“How could I forget? You're a demon with morals”, you chuckle as you step back and nod your head, eyes roaming over his appearance once again. “Modern clothes look good on you.” Hobie grins at your words and moves back to do a little twirl, flipping his locs over his shoulder as he bats his eyelashes at you. It makes a loud guffaw leave you as you shake your head. People walking pass give you both weird looks of judgment and you roll your eyes while taking his hand, leading him inside of your apartment. Once inside, he takes both of your hands in his and pulls you close to him, making you raise an eyebrow in question.

“I know it's been a while, angel. I had some things to take care of back home. But thanks to that, I've finally got all my powers back.” Hobie says with a smile before furrowing his eyebrows, gently squeezing your hands as a flicker of something you can't quite name goes across his face. He lowers his eyes to the floor before bringing a hand up to gently caress your cheek. Nuzzling your face in his palm is practically second nature, something in you knowing that this was right. That this was how it should always be. Hobie's molten gaze hypnotized you, his golden eyes swimming with a hint of sadness, a hint of hesitation. Your fingers move to grip the hem of his leather jacket.

“What is it, Hobie…?” You mumble as you feel one of his thumbs grazing your bottom lip. He shakes his head and closes his eyes, taking a deep breath as several heartbeats pass between you. Warm lips are pressed against your forehead then, lip piercing cool against your flesh as you melt under his affection. Only, it feels as if your body is suddenly thrown, pushed down into the ground and sinking deep beyond the flooring of your home. You're drowning, the tide is pulling you down into the depths of the abyss. A bubble leaves your lips as you gasp and…

“I'm tellin’ you, love. Somethin’ is wrong with that slimy bastard.”

“Trust me, Hobes. I know…” You sigh in exasperation as you lay down on his lap, the scent of flowers all around you as you both sit in the field of daisies. One of Hobie's hands is buried in your hair, sharp nails gently scratching at your scalp in a soothing way. You can feel your body relaxing as you wrap your large wings around you like a blanket. The sounds of the babbling brook a few feet from your resting area lull you into a sense of calm, much better than how stressed you had been when you came to meet up with Hobie. The demon prince grumbles softly as he brushes a flower petal off of your cheek, frustration battling with the peacefulness of the serene surroundings.

“He's up to somethin’, I just know it. Cause there's no way he's just allowin’ the shit my dad's doing to just happen with no fuss. Startin’ natural disasters, causing war, famine, and disease? Don't even get me started on the monthly demon scares the humans keep talking about…” Hobie sighs and scrubs a hand down his face, anger and suspicion coloring his words as he places his fingers under your chin and tilts your head to look up at him.

“And then there's Osborn’s obsession with you… That I really don't like”, he rumbles lowly, his grumpy expression reminding you too much of a cat. Biting back the giggle that threatens to escape you, you lift a hand up to poke at his cheek.

“It'll pass. Here's hoping he forgets me entirely for someone new. But, you're right. Why is he just overlooking this stuff? The balance is all out of whack. I might have to speak with him about it later”, you mumble, eyes fluttering shut as he leans down to brush his lips against yours. The scene melts away.

You're now thumbing through paperwork, brows furrowed as you try to tally the number of souls that should have been admitted into Heaven. Should have, but are nowhere to be found. Files missing and the count not adding up, you angrily huff and slam the papers down onto the desk. The feathers of your wings ruffle and puff up as you move to search through Osborn’s papers instead, hoping that maybe he has what you're looking for. Thank the stars he's out attending to whatever business he claims he has to see to. If he ever saw you combing through his desk, you're sure his lecture and punishment would have been long.

After minutes of searching, you still don't find the papers you're looking for, a groan leaving your lips as your wings droop a bit. You let out a sigh and pick up one of the files that litter the desk, mindlessly flipping through the pages. It'd do no good to keep searching when you were too tired to do so, a break much needed at the moment. As your eyes flit across the paper, you can't help but notice that it's mentioning the names of the souls that you've been looking for. It makes you sit up straighter, eyes widening as you focus on the context of the scrawny handwriting. A contract. It was a contract. And as you read the full details of what it entails and the signatures written on the very bottom, you can feel your heart thudding in your ears, breath stilling and hands trembling.

Because why in the Almighty’s name did the High Priest think to make a contract with the King Of Demons…?

“ ‘In exchange for the services of aiding in the recruitment of new devotees, I, Norman Osborn, High Priest Of the Archangels and soon to be God of Order, agree to the releasing of the more innocent of souls. A select choice of the finest souls being of infants, virgins, and the highest order of faithfuls shall be bestowed upon the reigning King of Demons monthly, upon completion of aiding the new order. Should either party fail to uphold their end of the agreement, the offender must release unto the other their most treasured possession...’ ”

The whispered words make you sick as you utter them, paper falling from your hands as the information sinks in. It all clicks then. The large amount of disruptions and demon activity on earth, the huge amount of missing souls, the lack of reactivity from the High Priest. Osborn was giving the King free reign to cause havoc, in hopes that humans will see the demons and turn towards faith to pull them through. Faith in a new God who wasn't the Almighty, a God who'd “restore” the peace and order. And all it costs him is the souls of truly innocent people, people and children who earned their eternal rest now damned to an eternal prison. Hobie had been right to be suspicious, right to keep questioning everything. Because now, everything was going to shit.

The sounds of faint footsteps make you jolt, alarms going off in your head as you quickly put the files back in order. You had to tell someone, but who would believe you? Surely not your fellow angels, some who already look at you with jealousy. They could use this knowledge against you, make Osborn punish you for being “disloyal” and falling for “a devil's lies”. No, you had to leave, had to take this with you. Stuffing the papers into your chiton, you quickly open a portal to your hideaway and dart in. Heart pounding furiously, you can feel yourself breaking down when you see Hobie already sitting in the circle of flowers, lying back with his hands behind his head. It's like he can feel your presence when you arrive, body already turning in your direction. He smiles warmly at you and you feel the dam break, hot tears dripping down your face.

Hobie's next to you in an instant, smile gone and eyebrows knitted with concern as he cups your face in his hands, thumbs wiping away the tears that continue to fall.

“It's awful, it's awful, Hobie. It's terrible”, you sob as your hands cling to the fabric of his shirt, chest heaving as you gasp with your words. Lips press against your cheek and his deep voice calmly shushes you as he wipes the tears still.

“Breathe, angel. Breathe. I'm right here. Just tell me what's wrong. What's terrible?” He mumbles against your cheek before pressing another kiss to your forehead and another to your other cheek. Before golden eyes gaze calmly into yours. Taking a deep, shuddering breath, you calm the frantic beating of your heart.

“You were right. Your suspicion and everything about how messed up everything is was right… And I'm the one who took the only proof of it away…” You breathe out, hands shaky as you reach to hand him the files. Hobie takes the papers from you with a worried look before silently reading what you handed him. His expression darkens as he reads the full contract, fire licking behind his eyes. Clenching the paper in his grip, he looks around before looking back down at you.

“Who else knows of this, love?”

“N-Nobody. I found it in Osborn’s office when I was searching for papers. This is bad, Hobie. He's planning something that's gonna wreck the natural order of things. Becoming a God… It's madness…” Hobie scratches the back of his head before scrubbing a hand over his face. He looks at you with wide eyes then, a flicker of trepidation in his eyes.

“Listen, sweetheart. We gotta leave here. From the Heavens, earth, the Hells, all of it. Nowhere is safe right now. Osborn is gonna figure out that you're the one who took it–”

“–Because I'm the only person with access to his things…” You mutter quietly, fresh tears welling up in your eyes and you feel your heart sink into your stomach. Because even if you were now one of the strongest angels besides Osborn, there was no way you could fight all of your peers and make it out alive by yourself. Hobie pulls you close at the look of utter despair on your face, arms wrapping around you tightly and burying his face into your shoulder. He rubs at your back as you silently sob, cooing and reassuring you that it would all be okay.

“He's not gonna find us, lovie. I've got a place in mind, somewhere no one knows about, okay? Do you trust me, angel…?”

“I trust you… I love you…”

“And I love you. Let's get goin’, yeah?” The scene melts away.

Laughter fills the air as you smother your daughters in kisses, raining little pecks on their cheeks as they squeal and try to break free. Hobie watches you three with a dopey grin on his face before cooing at his son, watching little Aiden flap his wings and glide over to him. You and Hobie had found a little sanctuary in a realm just beyond Earth, between Heaven and the Hells. Invisible to most everyone besides those who knew just where to search. It was there that you two decided to make it official, your union evident by the rings adorning your fingers. The rings were special, able to turn into a matching pair of tear shaped necklaces, one with a ruby and the other with a sapphire. It was with your union that you were able to bring your pride and joy into this world. Twin girls, named Billie and Ramona, and a little boy named Aiden. When you first held them, you couldn't imagine a life without them. They were perfect and they were yours, you and Hobie's. You vowed to protect them till your very last breath if it ever came to the day that your peace was shattered.

A trumpet blaring rings in the air, making all of you look up towards the source. And that's when you see it, a large swarm of angels breaking through the barrier of the realm, pieces of its shattered remains falling down from up high as they dive down towards your direction. Fear pierces your heart as your girls grip onto you tighter, anxiety shining in their eyes. You turn to Hobie, who holds Aiden close to his chest, before you both run as far as you can with your children in tow. Eyes glowing a bright white, you conjure up a wall of flowering vines that reach miles high and separates you from the approaching angels.

“Run! Get the children and get out of here!” Hobie yells at you as he hands the frightened toddler in his arms over to you, frantic and in disarray. His hands push at your shoulders, forcing you to turn away. This was it. Osborn had finally found you and now your family was in danger. Shaking your head, you plant your feet firmly on the ground, tears stinging your eyes as they start to spill down your cheeks.

“Not without you!” You sob desperately, trying hard to turn around and face him. Only for his hands to be firm in making you flee. You can smell the scent of smoke in the air, chest heaving as you feel your wall of vines now starting to burn. The fire is spreading too quickly, starting to creep towards the hanging vines adorning your cottage. His hands shake as he pushes you to move, to walk. There's fear in his voice, dripping worry that trickles down into you as his hands on your shoulders slowly dissolve into wriggling spiders.

“I'll find you! Just leave, quickly!” Hobie growls before the spiders on your shoulders scurry away, the sounds of him transforming ringing in your ears as you hold your son closer to you. Heat surrounds you now as you lead your children towards the escape route that you and Hobie had made if something like this were to ever happen. Only, to stop and hold your children close to you as the wood of your cottage splinters and crashes down in front of you, burning planks blocking your way. Fire licks at your cheeks as Billie and Ramona cower by your sides, Aiden wailing his heart out. This was too much for them to be experiencing right now. Heart thundering in your ears, you lead them around the cottage, hoping to get to the brook on the other side. At least, then you'd have a chance of getting out of here. Your hopes are dashed as a horde of angels fly down to surround you all, holy swords and staffs in hand as they close in on you. You know you can't escape them like this with your children in tow, can't fight them off with your arms focused on holding them close.

A hand harshly yanks at your hair, pulling you away at the same time that you feel multiple hands forcing your arms off of your children.

“No! No, no! Let me go!” You scream and kick, trying to get back to them, wings flapping harshly. A cry of pain leaves your lips as you feel a hand ripping and tearing at your feathers, blood dripping into the grass below from your damaged wing. You can hear Billie and little Aiden crying, Mona screaming as you're forced onto your knees. Glowing restraints are placed on you, around your wrists and wings, strings of light wrapped tight around your wriggling form.

“Leave my mummy alone!” Mona screams as energy crackles around her, tears falling down her cheeks and little fists shaking with fear. The angels reach out to hold her back, only to hiss with pain as they touch her arm. Your heart breaks at the sight, her power growing wild and out of control with how terrified she is. You shake your head as she reaches out to you, energy crackling around her fingertips.

“Mona, no. Don't–”

“You produced these abominations, little dove…?” The voice makes your body seize up almost instantly, heart thudding so hard that it aches. A cold sweat breaks on your skin and your breath hitches as the hand in your hair gives a harsh yank, forcing you to look up at the man before you. Icy blue eyes bore into your own, a frown painted on his lips. Osborn places a hand under your chin and forces you to look at your children as he flicks his wrist, a large bubble of light shining into existence around them, trapping them. He clicks his tongue and shakes his head, wagging his finger at them when Aiden and Billie scream, the powerful sound making their prison vibrate harshly.

“Surely, that devil poisoned your ear and forced himself upon you. You didn't allow him into your bed. Right, my dove…?” Osborn says as he looks you over, but by the way his smile doesn't reach his eyes, you can tell he already knows the truth. With trembling lips and your instincts to protect your young rising, you sneer up at the High Priest with hate flickering in your eyes like an ember.

“You don't care about that. You just care about what I know!” Norman raises an eyebrow and sweeps a hand to gesture at the trembling twins holding their baby brother close.

“Why would I not care? My little dove, now with filth for offspring? And a demon prince who's been frothing at the mouth, trying to make us leave you alone? I am nothing but concerned, little dove.” As he leans in, you take the opportunity to spit in his face, a smirk on your lips as the saliva drips down his cheek.

“Don't you ever call my children outside of their names”, you hiss, the words sounding like a curse between your teeth. Osborn sighs and wipes your spit away with his thumb before more feathers are viciously plucked from your wings. You cry out as warmth dribbles down your back, blood splattering onto the flowers beneath you.

“So, he has poisoned you. A shame. You have such a bright light inside you, the brightest I've ever seen. It's now contaminated, I see.” Smoke forms thick clouds that drift in the air and you can hear Hobie shouting in the distance. Your children crying for you fill your ears as you look up, heart shattering as you watch the cottage you built with love crumble to the ground, flowers crushing and burning under the lit wood. Several more angels come toward you then, a tall cube made of pure light floating behind them. Hobie's snarling and banging on the walls of his prison, skin burning from the holy magic used to keep him at bay. He's snapping his teeth and roaring as his body constantly shifts, little spiders shaping into a swarming mass before wriggling into the form of massive creatures, then going back to him banging against the walls.

The enraged demon's eyes shift to his three little ones being held at bay before drifting over to you. You can see the way his golden eyes morph into seething crimson slits as Osborn raises his staff at you, voice booming loud enough for everyone to hear.

“Little dove, thou bearest a great sin indeed. For permitting a devil into thy bed and giving life to foulblood nephalems, thy light has died. In the Almighty’s name, no longer shall thee be permitted to adorn his heavenly skies.” Your lips tremble and you scream as more feathers are plucked from you, pain making your head spin. Hobie bangs even harder, shouts even louder.

“That's bullshit! You don't speak for the Almighty, fuckin’ snake! Get away from them! Don't touch my family!” The demon roars, all boiling rage and dripping despair. “Osborn! I'll rip you apart!” You can hear as he struggles, trying hard to get to you even as his skin sizzles and the children cry in the distance. A piercing scream rings through the air and now you're falling from up high, tears dripping from your eyes as you gasp. It feels like hundreds of hands are dragging you down, your deadly descent to the ground impending. You reach your hand towards the sky and…

Your chest heaves as you feel yourself finally being snapped back into your body, gasps leaving you as you stumble backward. Gentle hands hold your waist as you clench your eyes shut, the memories flooding you like a tidal wave. With shaky hands, you grip onto Hobie's arms tightly for support as you try to calm down the thundering of your heart. Tears, hot and thick, cascade down your cheeks as you feel your wings, your wings, emerge from your back, one of the appendages almost completely featherless. You reach up to touch your ruby necklace with shaky fingers, your other hand patting Hobie's chest to find his sapphire one sparkling beneath his shirt. And as you look up with teary eyes to gaze into his watering golden ones, you don't speak for several moments. Because finally, finally, you remember everything. Every foggy detail shines under a new light, every missing piece now clicked into place.

“Hobie… My Hobie”, you breathe out softly as you lift a hand to tenderly cup his cheek, heart aching as he nuzzles his face into your palm. His lips tremble as he smiles and nods his head, one of his hands resting on the back of your neck.

“That's right, angel. Your Hobie… Just yours”, he whispers, voice wavering with unshed tears that finally fall as he pulls you in for a breathtaking kiss. Both of his hands move to hold your face as he tilts your head back, kisses leaving you breathless and dazed. All of his frustration, all of his longing, all of his yearning. You can feel it all pouring into you, making you press yourself closer as you kiss each other senseless. It's like time stops, the world stilling just for the two of you. Nothing else matters, not when the love of your life, your fate, holds you like you're the most precious thing in the world to him. When you finally break away for air, your hands roam his face and hair, eyes looking him over as if you truly couldn't believe he was with you once again.

“H-How did you find me? Where have you been? Oh my days, where are the kids? Billie and Ramona? Little Aiden…?” Hobie shushes your bombard of questions with another kiss, chuckling at the way you practically melt because of it. Pulling you over to the couch, you both sit down as he shares what happened to him during the century following your fall. Hobie tells you of how he'd been taken to his father by the angels and punished to haunt the earth for the rest of his days, consuming souls his only way of nourishment. He tells you how his friends, Ned, Riri, and Serenity had followed him to earth in order to help get him back home. Of how he had them show Osborn’s contract to a group of angels who regretted tearing your family apart and how his friends went to find you, promising to watch over you as Hobie regained his strength. Hobie reveals how he had to conserve the brightest of souls that entered his maze in order to break the curse placed over him and the maze, how seeing you again for the first time in years had let him know he was finally ready to make his move.

“For the past three months, I've been gatherin’ forces to help take down my father and Osborn. Demons and angels alike, if you can believe it. Becomin’ King gave me the power to give you back your memories and the ability to shape his realm however I like. I've turned it into one we can all live happily in. Like before…” Your eyes soften at his words, the thought of Hobie doing everything he could to reunite your family making your heart swell. His hands caress your cheeks as he looks down at you with pure adoration and burning affection, devotion to you and only you screaming from the way his touches are as soft as silk. Golden gaze, a liquid pool of warmth that you're all too happy to dive in.

“Chaos, Mayhem, and the little terror are at home waitin’ for you, lovie. Why don't we go see ‘em, hm?” Hobie hums against your lips as he leans down to peck your lips once, twice, three times before leaning back just a bit. And everything in you screams to do what he's saying, wanting nothing more than to hold your little ones close and never let go. And yet…

“Not yet”, you mumble quietly, brows furrowing and a small frown on your lips. A grim look washes over your features, Hobie's thumbs grazing your brow to try and smooth the look off of your face. You shake your head and peer up at him sadly.

“Not until we're safe. We'll never be safe while Osborn still lives and I couldn't bear to face them until it's all over. He called them filth…” You say, seething as the memory ignites a fire within you. A need to see the man who dared speak ill of your children and love rot like a festering corpse. Hobie's deep voice rumbles in his chest as he peers at you with slight concern.

“Are you sure, angel? You don't have to fight if you don't want to.”

“I want to. I need to see him bleed. He's done too much harm to not only us, but the balance of the realms in general. We're making that bitch grovel.” You say with a huff, a determined gleam in your eyes. Hobie chuckles and nods his head, pressing his lips against your forehead softly.

“That's my girl.”

The next two weeks are spent at an abandoned building in the countryside planning for the coup d'état, rebel Archangels and demons working side by side to end Osborn’s schemes. Serenity, Ned, and Riri were there when you arrived holding hands with Hobie, all three of them rushing to pull you both in a hug. They rained apologies on you for leaving you alone for so long, which you just dismissed. It was for a good reason, after all. They all help you train your powers again, rusty after having gone so long without them.

“Strange how I still have divine powers”, you mumbled as you dodged a blow to the face from Riri, who growled angrily. For someone who was rusty, you were still pretty good at being slippery. Even if you absolutely loathe him, Norman's teachings truly didn't fail you. Hobie shrugs from his perch on the windowsill, munching on a bright blue fruit that weirdly enough smelled just like coconuts and cream. A fruit from the Hells, no doubt.

“Well, that fallin’ from grace bullshit wasn't at all justifiable, ‘specially comin’ from that wanker”, he huffs before letting out a low impressed whistle as he watches you conjure two whips made of pure light, snaking the weapons around Riri’s legs and yanking them to make her fall on her back. The cambion groans as her head falls back into the dirt, dust settling in her curls. You give her a teasing smile and blow a kiss to her when she flips you off, getting back up with a scowl on her lips. You spend the last few days training and taking walks with Hobie, thoughts drifting to your kids that were waiting for you at your new home. It made you strengthen your resolve, knowing that you had people you needed to protect. You had finally gotten your family back and nothing was going to come between you all ever again.

The day for the rebellion finally rolls around, your heart hammering in your chest as you finish wrapping the sash around your enchanted robes. All black and white ombre with long sleeves that end up wrapping around your fingers, intricate gold vines etched into the fabric. Long black boots on your feet and the ruby necklace shining brightly around your neck, you sigh as you gaze at your reflection in the mirror. Your damaged wings mock you as they flutter uselessly, anger and trepidation swirling in your eyes as you bite your lip. Today was the day. Osborn was going to pay for everything he'd done to you, to Hobie, to your children. To all those unfortunate humans that were unknowingly a part of his dastardly schemes. You were ready to end it all. But why did you still feel so… scared…?

“Almost ready, love?” Hobie's warning voice rouses you out of your musings, giving him a small smile as you turn around to face him. Perhaps it doesn't reach your eyes, because his smile falls as he nears you, golden orbs glinting with sympathy.

“What is it, angel?” He asks softly as he takes your hands in his, bringing them up to his lips and pressing a kiss to your knuckles. Breath hitching, you shake your head and sigh.

“I don't know why I'm scared, but I am. Osborn, he's… powerful. What if we fail? What if you get hurt?” Hobie tilts his head and chuckles, taking your hand and placing it on his chest, letting you feel the beating of his heart beneath your palm.

“Feel that? ‘S beatin’ like crazy ‘cause I'm worried too. I'm scared too. I don't wanna lose you again, after finally havin’ you in my arms after all this time.” He wraps his arms around you this time and pulls you close, so that your ear is pressed against his chest. You can hear his racing heart, feel the way his body shakes ever so slightly. Though he did a good job of masking it, he truly was terrified. Terrified of having his reunited family ripped from his fingers like a cruel joke, as though he hadn't suffered enough.

“We gotta believe we're stronger than him, lovie. ‘M gonna fight for you and the kids till my last breath. I promise you, he won't touch you while ‘m ‘ere. Never again.” Hobie whispers into your ear as his fingers tenderly graze the base of your damaged wings, making you choke back a sob. You'd fight for him. For your children, for everything. Until your last breath, no matter what. The two of you share more hushed promises and whispers of reassurance before Ned announces that it's time, the two of you walking back to where everyone else waits. Hobie squeezes your hands and moves to stand on the broken crates in front of your battalion of rebels. Everyone quiets down at the sight of him, standing up straighter and looking up at him expectantly.

“For too long, we have stood by and allowed him to do as he pleases. Too long have we had to endure as he uses us for his benefit. Too long have we watched as he shattered hopes and dreams and destroyed the very realms we work hard to keep from crumbling.” Hobie's words echo in the abandoned barn and seep into your very soul. There's a fire in those gold eyes, an inferno that begs to be unleashed.

“No more. No more will we sit idly while he rips our lives apart. No more will we agree with his outlandish rules that he claims brings peace. Norman Osborn is trying to become what he is not and never will be. A God. A God that is so twisted that he would damn innocents. So cruel that he would allow the killings of children and pregnant mothers.” Raising a fist into the air, his voice booms throughout the building, rallying the unit as they cheer and holler.

“Today, we free our realms from the oppressor! Today, we fight for the right to love, the right to live! Today, we end the snake that dares to claim he speaks for the Almighty! Today, we kill Norman Osborn!” The room erupts into cheers and yells, weapons and claws alike lifted high into the air as portals spin to life on either side of him. Your heart sings, your will strong and spirit invigorated with overwhelming morale. And as the rebels charge through the portals, Hobie takes your hand in his firmly. Sharing one last look, you both run into the portals, giving a roaring cry as you head for battle.

There's chaos all around you as you emerge, blood and bodies already littering the cloudy grounds of his throne room. The clanging of metal and the battle cries of the warriors. Rebels fighting against the ones that serve Osborn faithfully, both angel and demon alike. A scream rings in your ear as an angel charges at you, sword raised high and aimed for your chest. A blur whizzes pass you, Hobie quick to dispatch him with a thrust of his sharp nails to his chest. The angel chokes as blood spills from his lips, crimson ichor spilling onto the fluffy clouds as Hobie throws his body to the side. Something shines in the corner of your eye and you turn to see an arrow made of light aimed for Hobie's back. Brows furrowing and a snarl forming on your lips, you zip to stand in front of the arrow, divine energy crackling at your fingertips. A shield of pure light shimmers into existence in your hands, reflecting the projectile with ease. Clenching the shield in your fist, you pull your arm back and throw, the chucked weapon hitting the angel in the head hard enough to visibly dent her head in. She crumples to the ground as more charge at you, trampling over her body.

Hobie snarls as more enemies charge him from the front, body losing its shape to morph into a swarm of spiders. The spiders wriggle and scurry to morph into a frothing wolf, arachnids writhing to form eyes and a dripping maw that mauls anyone who dares get close to you. In turn, you're covering him from behind, chucking daggers and firing arrows into the hearts of those who dare to harm your demon. One has a blade too close to your neck and swiftly has teeth twisting its head off, Hobie's panther form flickering in and out of view as it lunges for another victim. The sight of a sword aiming for the demon's middle has you shooting out a hand to form a glittering sphere around the offender, fist closing tightly causing the sphere to close in on him until he's nothing but blood and gristle. There's a shout from above and you hurriedly look up as three angels rain divine beams of energy down on you two. With a swipe of your hand, a bubble appears over your heads, absorbing the energy from the blasts. The three look nervous as they see the smirk playing on your lips before you flick your wrist, a devastating beam of light incinerating the offenders. A whirlwind of spiders circle around you as more enemies try to flank you from all sides, the arachnids crawling into every orifice of the angels that they find, eating them from the inside out.

The swarm dissipates, Hobie gripping your arm and pointing to the throne. There stands Osborn, holy staff fighting off and impaling anyone who gets too close. Cold blue eyes almost white with a fury you've never seen as he grips a rebel by the face, skin melting off the bone from his touch as he pours out divine energy to maim and kill. The rebel screams as their flesh bubbles and festers, arm wildly swinging a blade to no avail. And through it all, Osborn’s holy robes remain pristine and white, untouched and unsullied.

His chilling gaze sweeps over to you then, a flicker of a smile ghosting his thin lips as he lifts his staff to point at you, hand flinging away the now still rebel. You grit your teeth as you blast an angel that gets too close to Hobie, eyes never leaving Norman as he outstretches his hand to you. A seemingly kind gesture, if these were different circumstances. But you can tell, can see nothing but the condescending mockery in his icy gaze. Your hands tremble with a mix of fear and trepidation and a glance at Hobie tells you that he's feeling it too. Fear now dissolving into fury and whips of pure light shimmering into your hands, you charge at Osborn, damaged wings flapping hard behind you. The black vortex of raging arachnids follow close behind you, the furious sound of spiders scurrying enough to raise the hair on the back of anyone's necks.

“Osborn!” Hobie roars as the spiders morph and twist into his form, eight sharp spider legs protruding from his back and mouth now adorning a pair of dripping spider fangs. His golden eyes are crimson slits of rage as he extends his claws, close by your side as you both dart towards the smirking Archangel. Osborn lifts his staff to block the cracking of your whip, letting it coil around it and yanking it so that it slips from your grasp. Gritting your teeth, you transform the whip that's still in your hand into a dagger. Hobie uses his claws to swipe at the older angel, who dodges each blow and shoots a hand out to wrench the dagger from your hands like it was magnetized. With a wicked gleam in his eyes, he thrust the dagger forward, aiming for the demon's chest and furrowing his brows when his arm is suddenly covered in spiders.

Hobie's form morphs lightning quick, becoming a massive bat with gleaming fangs that viciously bites Osborn’s flesh. Snarl twisting his lips, he goes to swat him away, only for you to coil a chain around his wrist and twist it around hard. You can hear the way his bone snaps, the sound wet and making him howl with pain. He's quick to heal the broken bone, divine energy an aura around him. Heart pounding in your ears, you see Hobie form into a panther in order to rip a chunk of flesh from the angel's calf. Norman drops down to his knee before grabbing your demon by the neck, the inky black fur sizzling in his grip as the panther yowls with pain.

Energy pulses between your hands as you conjure a bow and arrow, pulling the bowstring back and releasing the glistening arrow. It sings as it flies through the air, hitting Osborn right in the hand on your love's neck. The Archangel howls as the arrow pierces his flesh, the arrowhead poking straight through the side of his palm. He lets go of Hobie with a grimace, hand shooting out a powerful gust of wind that blasts your demon several feet away from him. His injured state leaves him open and you take the opportunity to summon a glittering sword that thrums with divine energy, rushing over to him with a furious look gleaming in your eyes. Only for his whispered words to make you seize up, goosebumps breaking across your flesh.

“This is not what I envisioned for you, little dove. You must know that, yes?” Norman says with a kind smile, icy blue eyes devoid of emotion betraying his soft spoken words. Still, the nickname is enough to make you hesitate, make the memories of constantly being harassed and punished by him flood back into your mind all too quickly. Your hands shake and your breath quickens as you try to reign in the feeling of helplessness suddenly threatening to drown you. He's uttered those words plenty of times before, times where he'd lock you into a room and scar you while kissing the marks he left as punishment for not being how he wanted you to be. For not abiding by his rules. For not giving yourself to him everytime he asked. The times when he'd degrade you for failing to master things he'd teach you, yell at you while his hands dug into your scalp. It felt like walls were closing in on you and you couldn't move, your sword falling between trembling fingers as unshed tears stung your eyes.

“Y/N, look out!” Hobie's shout makes you peer up, only for a piercing scream of agony to leave your lips, your quivering wings severed and clutched in the Archangel's fist. Blood oozes down your back and seeps into your robes as you fall to the ground, writhing in pain. Teeth bared and eyes glowing bright with boiling rage, Hobie roars and lunges at Osborn, eager to wipe the sick grin off his face. Norman makes a low sound of disapproval and wags a finger at him before light bursts from his fingers, a beam of divine energy shooting the demon in his chest and leaving a gaping wound. He screams as the light sears his flesh way too close to his heart for comfort, his pained cries making your heart freeze with fear. Your screams of terror for your love almost being killed turns into a roar of white hot wrath that practically boils you from the inside out.

You're a blur of fury as you roll onto your knees and shoot a ray of sparkling light at Norman's thigh, the beam searing his skin and leaving a bloodied hole. You shoot another at his shoulder as you jump to your feet, then another to his side. Wrath incarnate, you litter him full of holes, divine rays leaving chunks of his flesh to drip onto his throne. And as he stumbles back to trip on his self-made throne of gold and ivory, you summon your sword back into your hands. With one last shout, you thrust the weapon deep into his middle, crimson ichor seeping into the white fabric of his robes. Blood and roses scent the air as the fighting of the rebels cease, all eyes watching as Osborn looks into the face of his once highly adored angel.

“F-Filthy sinner”, the dying Osborn says with an astounded chuckle, spitting blood onto your face as it bubbles up his throat and spills past his pale lips. Your chest heaves as you look down at the Archangel, your severed wings still tight in his grip. Blood splatters onto his robe as he coughs, blue eyes radiating malice and contempt as he sneers at you.

“You could have had it all. If you'd been obedient and joined me. I could've reached true Godhood with an angel so pure and bright as you on my arm, in my corner. Now you're nothing but defiled waste.” His strained words almost make you want to laugh and you tilt your head at him, something akin to pity shining in your eyes as you twist the sword deeper.

“You're a fool, Norman. A fool to think you could get away with hurting those I love. Where's all your faith now, when you need it most? Clearly not giving you any strength right now.” You mumble before chuckling and letting the sword dissipate into a flutter of sparkles. There's a low rumble of a growl behind you, little barks that sound close to a laugh. A hyena's laugh.

“This is what happens when you try to play God and disrupt the balance of things.” Is what you mumble as you feel a massive presence looming over your shoulder. Osborn trembles at the sight of the creature behind you, prayers to the Almighty stumbling between his blood speckled lips as he holds out a shaking hand for mercy. You have none to give and neither does the growling form of Hobie, his massive hyena form black and dripping with an inky mist that spreads a terrifying shadow. Drool dribbles from his mouth as he licks at his chops, maw open and ear flicking. Patting your demon's furry cheek, you lean down towards the frightened Osborn, lips near his ear.

“The Almighty hath forsaken thee, High Priest”, you whisper in his ear before stepping back, watching as the hyena stalks forward, the sinister laugh of the creature making the fallen Archangel whimper. Norman begs and pleads for mercy and forgiveness, none that are afforded to him as Hobie descends upon him. Sharp teeth tearing at flesh and snapping bones, claws ripping apart organs and gore dribbling down the throne. And as you watch Hobie devour him whole bones and all, you're suddenly called into a void of white. Eyes frantically looking about, you're shocked at the looming silhouette of an entity gazing down at you. It's massive and towers higher than any mountain you'd ever seen. The entity bows its head in respect, in thanks before you're suddenly forced back into your body with a shaking gasp.

Body shaking and back arching, you cry out as you feel something pushing forth from your back, your spine. It feels like you'll explode if you don't let it out, your eyes rolling as it sprouts free from it's confines. Stumbling and shaking your head to clear the dizziness, your chest heaves before you feel something familiar. A weight that had been missing for years. Hobie's next to you then, wriggling spiders shaping him into his normal form once again. The hole in his chest is slowly closing up, the energy he got from devouring Osborn healing him. His eyes are wide as he looks at you in awe.

“Lovie… Your wings..!” His words make your heart soar with hope and you quickly wrap them around yourself in order to look at them, the action second nature even after seemingly loosing them. A gasp leaves your lips as you look at what has sprouted from you. Large glittering wings that sparkle. As you move them, the feathers switch between a pristine white to a shimmering black, then back again. Any time you moved a certain way, the color changed. And inside your heart, you know who the entity was.

Everything that happens next is a blur to you then, you who were exhausted from the draining battle. The remaining Archangels that sided with Osborn are locked up, plans to give them a chance at repentance being discussed. Ned, Serenity and Riri talk with the rebel angels in their King’s stead, negotiating terms of peace and planning clean up crews on earth. Hobie pulls you into an embrace that seems to make your knees weak, exhaustion making your bones ache as you sag against him. It was finally over. Osborn couldn't hurt you or Hobie or your children anymore. Your love lifts you into his arms, carrying you over to the swirling portal that led to your new home, where your children await. Where, after a century of waiting, your life with Hobie can finally be resumed.

[painted-piggy-ships-archive]

Thinking about... pet owner au... so here’s some pets some of my f/os might have fhvvbfvbf

Joker: Would definitely have something Not Entirely Legal™ (or just straight up not legal at all) but is a surprisingly good pet dad, even when that pet is say, a gargantuan alligator or snake. Prefers the dangerous type but doesn’t pick and choose when it comes to fur, scales, feathers, etc.

Wade: You can’t tell me this man hasn’t had several birds in his lifetime, also dogs, cats... really, he just loves all animals. Teaches his parrots to swear at people FVHVFBVFB, also probably gives them toy guns to hold fhvvbfvf

Jack T.: Probably had a dog when he was younger but hasn’t had a pet in quite awhile. Would consider getting another dog if we made the promise to ourselves that we’d thoroughly prepare beforehand.

Billy: Seems to tolerate Claude, so I’d say he’s a cat man. He’d probably find birds entertaining but wouldn’t be able to care for them very well. Not necessarily a pet but if he found a mouse in the attic he might feed it on a whim.

Leslie: Has his turtles, but I could also see him with rodents! Inspired by the intelligence of rats. Also, since he’s the outdoorsy type, maybe he’d tend to an artificial bee hive as well! A swarm of bees can be pets right??? Oh, a spider would also probably suit him! He has an affinity for the small.

Tony: RELUCTANT CAT DAD. I’d probably be the one to bring the cat into the relationship, and the two would slowly warm up to each other, to the point where Tony refers to the cat as his child FHVBVFB

Scott & Ramona: Scott loves dogs and cats equally, and I could see Ramona with a rabbit or a tarantula.

William: Also an animal lover but with a preference for cats and rabbits.

[pizzacast]

What if we had a Ramona and Beezus inspired AU for Max and Billy? Max being known as an imaginative, almost werid little sister to billy and she can be such a pain in the ass.

Sometimes Max embrasses him and when she does, it’s in front of his crush Steve Harrington. One time Max is selling lemonade and Billy is helping her, Max sees Steve walking by.

“Steve, Steve!”

“No, Max, what are you doing?” He angrily whispers and when Steve gets closer, Billy hides behind a tree near them, but Steve still sees him. “Hey Billy.” Billy sighs a little, but tries to play it cool. “Hey Steve.”

“You’re selling lemonade?”

“Yeah, just doing it to help my little sister.” He says while ruffling Max’s hair and Max glares at him. Steve about to buy one, but Billy offers him one for free and he gets a glass for himself. Max objects, but that protest turns into alarm once she sees a fly land into Billy’s glass.

“Um Billy-

“Not now Max.”

“But Billy!”

Billy ingores her and drinks his lemonade, but spits it out once he realizes something is wrong with it. He’s horrified once he realizes he spits it on Steve.

Max giggles while Billy glares at her. But even though Max is a werid and pain in the ass sister, Billy is always going to care for her and try to do things to make Max happy.