#billie and ramona

[the-kr8tor]

Into the Eye of the Needle

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader

Word count: 11.6k

Summary: Billie and Ramona falls back in time during the 90s, meeting the younger versions of their parents and finding that your relationship with their dad is in shambles. Will they be able to help in repairing it before they cease to exist?

Tags: no specific physical description of the reader (except for her clothing), use of Y/N sparsely. Mum! Reader, Dad! Hobie, twin au, dad au, Billie and Ramona au, TTN au (but you don't need to read it to understand this one), time travel au, cw food mentions, fluff.

A/N: Behold! One of the silliest fic and most self indulgent fic I ever wrote lol enjoy

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Dad! Hobie Masterlist

Octobie🎸

“Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!” Billie and Mona's voices echo around the house as you and Hobie clean the living room before you start setting up for Halloween.

“Damnit!” Billie's unmistakeable frustrated tone floats from upstairs down to the living room.

Hobie sighs and meets with your eyes across the room whilst he's holding up the entire sofa with one hand and with a vacuum on the other. “They got your vocabulary.”

The feather duster pauses in your hand and the picture frames on the wall that you're dusting stop swinging. “And they got your love for doing chores.” You say sarcastically.

Hobie wants to abandon the cleaning and snog you right there and then. Which might prove your words right if he does. With a promise and a wink towards you, he calls the girls. “Mac and Cheese!”

The sounds of bounding feet reverberates, and a moment later, their almost identical faces pop up from the top of the stairs. “Yeah?” They say at the same time.

You smile at them with fondness. But you show them that you mean business with your hands on your hips. Hobie calls it your mum pose, and your children call it the ‘we’re in trouble’ pose.

“Your mum asked the two of you to grab the boxes from the attic, not just one of you. Stop playin’” He glances at you briefly, and he gets a nod of approval from you.

“But playin’ rock, paper, scissors is an old age tradition on who gets to do the chores!” Billie answers back.

“Didn't you and uncle Ned used to do it when you were roommates?” Mona, being Mona, backs her sister with a smart rhetoric.

Teenagers, you sigh in your mind. “Well when me and your dad were roommates, we did all the chores together. That made it more fun.”

“Ew, mum!” They say simultaneously, groaning and acting like they're about to vomit.

You cross the distance towards Hobie, and he in turn puts the sofa down gently as he abandons the vacuum to hold your waist instead.

“Wait, what did I say?” You ask the three of them.

“We didn't need to hear what you and dad were up to back then, mum!” Billie even covers her ears dramatically as Mona fakes a gag.

Hobie chuckles next to you as realization hits you. “I didn't mean it by that—”

“If you gremlins don't go to the attic in the count of ten you're goin’ to hear a lot more.” Hobie cuts you off, and you play by his bit when you send him a sultry wink. “One…” they're already running up the stairs and up the ladder before you could even smooch Hobie. “Works like a bloody charm.” He says as he pecks your cheek lovingly, all the while chuckling against your soft skin.

—

“Why is it so dusty in ‘ere?” Mona coughs, while Billie sifts through the numerous boxes in the small attic.

The attic smells of old clothes left in the wardrobe for far too long and mildew clinging on wood. The place is big enough to fit dozens of boxes and bags but small enough to let the girls crawl and not stand up lest they want to get a full face of cobwebs clinging on the ceiling.

“I think they're just spider webs, Mon.”

“That is not better, Bee.”

“Our dad is literally part spider—ohh!” Billie holds up a pair of old jeans with white lace sewn into the ripped parts. “This is so cute!”

“Looks like mum's.” Mona checks it for any damage, she finds none but she does find Hobie's name scribbled on the tag. “Nope, it's dad's.”

Billie scrunches her nose. “Doesn't look like dad's.”

“You never know what kind of fashion he had back then.” Her sister shrugs, taking her attention away from the jeans to a wooden box that looks more enticing. “We're talkin’ ‘bout the 90s ‘ere. Dad probably had a leather jacket for every day of the week—” she hears shuffling behind her and Billie's already rifling through the entire box without a care. “And she's gone.”

Billie doesn't hear her, “this one suits you, Mon!” Lifting up a long sleeved blouse with a hummingbird embroidered on each collar, Billie brings it on Mona's chest to see if it fits her. “Hmm, a bit small but nothin’ like a pair of high waisted jeans couldn't fix it!”

“I like this one actually,” Mona smiles, tracing the colourful stitched bird on the collar with her thumb. “This was definitely mum's. Dad would never wear somethin’ with a collar like this.”

“Good find, huh? Say ‘thank you,’ Bee.” She shuffles, dancing excitedly.

“Yeah, yeah, Bee.” Mona rolls her eyes before folding the blouse neatly and then placing it on the floor next to her. “We still need to find those decorations. I can feel my allergies acting up.”

“Fine, but 'm gonna take this entire box with us.” Billie closes and kicks the box towards the attic exit, it skids on the dusty floor and then plunges down from the ladder down to the hallway. “Whoops!”

Ramona gasps, “You gotta watch your strength, you might break somethin’!”

Billie winces when she hears your familiar footsteps frantically walking up the stairs. You don't sound mad, probably concerned about them. Your eldest crawls towards the hole in the ceiling to look down apologetically at you. Mona shuffles on her knees, following behind her sister.

“We're okay!” They both yell the second you reach the last step.

You visibly relax, shoulders sagging as you see them both fine atop the attic. “I thought you two fell!” You hold onto your chest, “They're alright, Hobs!” You yell down to inform him.

“Told you! Spider senses don't lie, love!” His muffled voice echoes up the house.

Crossing the small distance, you look at the crumpled box that's spilling old clothes. “I remember these!” You chuckle, bending at the waist to take a familiar white shirt splattered with graffiti designs. “I made these! Too bad it doesn't fit your dad anymore.”

“I told you it was dad's!” Mona nudges her sister by her shoulder.

Billie nudges back, pushing Mona playfully. “But it fits us, mum! Can we keep it? We'll share, promise!” Billie acts cute, fluttering her lashes towards you with a sweet smile.

Mona huffs, hand pressed on her sister's cheek to push her away as she continues to jab her. “Yeah, can we?”

“Stop pushing, you'll actually fall this time.” You chuckle, they remind you of Hobie and Ned when they were younger, always pushing each other but more than ready to pull the other back up. “Are you sure? They're not too old school?”

“Nah!” They simultaneously say.

“Old school is actually in these days, mum!”

“Oh I know, sweetheart, my design assistant keeps yammering about trends just going around in circles.”

They smile at you, “you should hire us instead then!” Billie half teases.

You get a light bulb idea, “Tell you what, dad and I are going to pick up your brother from band practice. When we come back— and if the house looks ready for the Halloween party tomorrow then I'll bring you both to work next Friday, deal?”

They shriek excitedly. You hear Hobie downstairs copy their high pitched shrieks, making their guffaw ring around the house. “Only if the house looks nice.” You laugh at their antics, “just be careful with the streamers, okay? And leave the string lights to us.” Walking closer to the ladder, you look up at them sweetly. “I know you're not used to your abilities just yet, so be extra careful with each other, okay?”

“Don't worry, mum, I've got Mon-mon.” Billie mocks salutes.

“And I've got Billie. I'll catch her when she falls.”

“Oi! That was one time!”

Your phone rings in your pocket, the ringtone is one of Hobie's old songs. “Good,” leaning up, tip toeing, you pat each of their cheeks. “That's your brother, love you both so much.”

“Love you too, mummy.” Mona replies, sending you a flying kiss that she hasn't shaked away since she was five. You wouldn't have it any other way.

“Love you, mum!” Billie responds more enthusiastically, waving at you while you climb down the ladder.

“No love for me?!” Hobie, still downstairs and getting the keys based on the soft jingle of metal, yells back at the three of you.

“Love you, dad!” The twins yell back happily. You're glad that even though they're already fifteen, they're not embarrassed to say the three words back to you and Hobie.

“Love you, gremlins!” Hobie screams back, this time much clearer as he stands on the bottom of the staircase while waiting for you. “C’mon, love, let's get ice cream without them.” He teases.

You giggle, hand reaching towards Hobie as you both run away. A resounding sound of disapproval rings out while you and Hobie run off towards the garage.

“I want rocky road!” Billie calls back as she hears the engine start. “What do you want, Mo—” when she turns towards her twin, she finds her spot empty. “Hey!”

“What? ‘m doin' my task. Go look in the other corner.”

“Fine, don't blame me if they don't get your coconut ice cream, yuck by the way.” Billie heads off towards a red bag, unzipping it to find old rolls of fabric. “No Halloween stuff here.”

“Coconut ice cream is refreshing.” Mona explains while she rummages through a box full of multicoloured wires. The whole box got her intrigued, why would her parents keep this junk if it's not important?

“Ooh more clothes! Jackpot!”

Something shiny catches Mona's eyes, pushing through mountains of wires to get to the bottom of the chest, she finds something circular and metallic at the end. “What's this?”

Billie looks over her shoulder while she holds up a pair of plaid pants. “I don't know but that doesn't look Halloweeney.”

Mona takes it out of the chest, thumbs rubbing along the front, the dust has settled on the glass, caking it with grey itchy dust. “Looks like a watch.”

“Oh shit what if it's one of those vintage watches that's actually worth thousands of pounds?”

Ramona cleans the watch face with her jumper sleeve. Billie tilts her head, curious at why her sister is so intrigued by an old watch when she can't even get her attention whenever they watch a movie.

“I've never seen dad wear a proper watch, not even at uncle Ned’s weddin’.”

Mona's breath hitches in her throat, remembering her father's stories during his time at the spider society. “I don't think it's a regular watch, Bee.” Her eyes widen at how advanced it looks technology wise, with a touch of Hobie's personal style.

“Shit is it a million dollar watch?!” Her twin scooches closer, knees dragging along the floorboards unbothered that it's probably scratching her precious corduroy.

Mona turns her head towards Billie, “I think it's—!” Before she could finish her sentence, a bright light encapsulates them both. Plunging the twins into a kaleidoscope of colours.

—

“Ramona! I don't want to die!” Billie grabs hold of her sister while they're plummeting down in a multicoloured tunnel of lights and sounds that echo in their ears like a wind turbine.

“We're not gonna die!” Mona hugs her twin tighter, eyes shut closed to keep out the bright lights. “Mum and dad's gonna kill us if we die!”

“Fuck!” Billie shields Mona's head, bracing for impact once she spots the end of the colourful tunnel.

With roll and a groan, they land on a sea of grass. Mona lifts her head up from the tall grass, checking and patting herself if all her fingers and face are still intact.

“Billie!”

A hand raises from the bushes. “‘ere!”

“Oh thank fuck.” Standing up, Mona scans her surroundings. It looks like their neighborhood, except there's fewer houses in place, and there's a large oak tree standing in the middle of where their house is supposed to be. “What?”

Billie spits out a piece of grass stuck on her lip gloss. “What, what?” While she picks out blades of grass from her sister's braids.

Mona walks over to the metal fence where the picket fence that she remembers painting with her family was supposed to be. Her eyes roam all over the neighbour’s house. She's sure an older lady and her husband live there, not a middle aged couple with three kids running around the porch. The couple look spry while they're both tending to their bountiful garden.

“What the fuck?” Mona curses under her breath while Billie takes out her phone from her pocket to check. To her surprise, the device doesn't even open no matter how many times she taps it.

Billie turns her attention towards what's causing her sister to curse, brows creasing together at the sight in front of her. “Mon, tell me what's happening and why old Eunice looks gorgeous in that sweater vest.”

“I don't think we're in the same universe anymore.” Mona grips the metal fence tightly, the sound gathering the attention of the children, who awfully look like the people she sees visit the house every holiday. “Psst!”

All three children glance towards them, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Mon, don't do that, you look like a bloody creep.”

“It's the only way I can get their attention!”

“Hello, excuse me, do you two need help?” Surprisingly, a much younger Eunice walks over to them. She roams her brown eyes all over the twins, concern and confusion flitting over her expression.

“Yeah, uh…” Ramona realizes that she can't just ask what year it is, or even ask what universe they're in. So she plays it casually. “Who's the top artist this year?”

“Excuse me?”

Billie sighs and closes her eyes from the sheer embarrassment. “We're from the local radio conductin’ a survey and we'd love to hear what you think of the… top artist this year.” She tries her best.

Mona nods enthusiastically, chuckling nervously, “what she said.”

“Oh I love nirvana and Mariah Carey!”

Mona gasps, “late 90s!”

“What?”

Billie grabs her sister by her arm. “Yes, thank you for answering our survey! Bye!” She yanks her away, dragging her towards the street and out of the suburban area.

“Wait, aren't surveys supposed to be more than one question?!” Eunice yells back, “I want to tell you how much I love ‘Always be my baby!’”

“Walk faster.” Billie walks briskly with Mona right next to her. “‘Top artist?’ Really, Mon?”

“Well it's either that or ask how Diana is!” She huffs, keeping up with her sister's strides. “Well at least now we know what year we're in!”

“Yeah, what if we're in a different dimension? Remember what dad taught us?”

“I know! Fuck!”

Billie stops mid stride, holding out her arm to stop Mona from walking. “Wait, where's the watch.”

Mona's eyes widen like saucer plates, “oh shit!” Patting her pockets frantically, she feels the circular shape of it in her jean pocket and she sighs in relief. “It's ‘ere.”

“I can't fucking believe dad's old watch still works.”

“Not anymore.” Mona winces at the cracked screen with the glitching numbers that read ‘138’

Billie sucks in her teeth. “At least now we know we're in the same dimension. But we're not in Kansas anymore.” She says with a transatlantic accent. Mona side eyes her with her nose scrunched up. “What? I always wanted to say that.”

Mona huffs, “Yeah, we time traveled.” She rubs her eyes with the heel of her palms. Groaning and body deflating. “I didn't even know it could do that.”

Meanwhile, Billie walks up and down the street with her hands buried in her hair. “Fuck, what if Miguel comes after us?”

“I think that's better, at least he can take us home.” Mona sits down on the curb, pocketing the watch for safe keeping while she thinks of a solution. What would you think when you get home to an empty house? Would their dad figure out where they are?

“Uh no, I don't want that vampire runnin’ after us!” Billie continues to pace around, anxiety pooling in the bottom of her stomach. “They're gonna go bonkers when they find out we're missin’”

“He's cool now, I think.”

“How are you so calm?!” Billie shakes her sister's shoulders.

“‘m not! ‘m freakin’ the fuck out, Bee!” She yells, cracking under the pressure, lips wobbling. “What if we can't go home because of my curious arse?!”

“Oi! Not your fault, alright?” Her eyes grow soft despite the tears brimming. “You were just lookin' at it, not your fault that it went haywire, ‘kay?”

Mona nods slowly, rubbing her clammy palms on her leg. “Okay, I'll get us home, bee, I promise.”

“I know, Mon, I'll help.” She gently punches her bicep playfully.

Mona scoffs with a smile, “you better.”

Billie chuckles, reminiscent of their dad's smile. “I think I've got an idea.” She sits down next to her sister on the curb. “Remember that one old movie we watched with mum and dad?”

“The time traveling one?”

“No, Tarzan.” She answers back sarcastically. “Of course the time traveling one, ‘back to the future.’

“Okay, so what about it?”

“We can't tell people we're from the future. But at the same time we can't fix that watch ourselves.” Billie points at where the watch is stored.

“What if I can? You don't know that.” Mona scoffs.

“Just lower your damn ego for a minute, Tony Stark.” Billie huffs, “my idea is that we go to someone who can actually fix it.”

“Well we obviously can't go to dad. You know what happened to the movie when the kid met his mum.” Mona shivers from the thought.

“Ew, I know, also I do not want to see dad and mum makin’ kissy faces at each other.” It's Billie's turn to shiver.

“So the second smartest person we know who can handle tech?” Mona understands what her twin meant.

“You read my mind, we're goin' to go to uncle Ned's—”

“Aunt Riri—!” They manage to say simultaneously. Sometimes twin teleplay fails.

“Shit, your idea is better actually.” Billie agrees.

Mona throws her head back, groaning at the realization. “Yeah, but if I remember correctly, she hasn't met mum and dad yet during the 90s. They met sometime during 2003, I remember because That's when Aunty moved ‘ere for her doctorate.”

“Fuck!” Billie stands up abruptly. “So uncle Ned then? Since Aunt Riri is still in the US. Unless we get on a bloody plane and manage to convince her.”

Mona stands up, shrugging. “We have no choice, it's either him or dad. Besides, he helped dad make his gadgets. We'd be in good hands.”

“Yeah, if he knows us! He doesn't know us, remember? He might not help a couple of strangers.” Billie follows Ramona towards the city. She can see the light from where she's standing. The sun shines down on them on a rare sunny day in London, making the back of their necks sweat and agitating them even more.

“We can convince him, if that doesn't work we'll tell him we're aliens. He's obsessed with ‘em, remember?”

“This is why you have the higher grades, Mon.”

“I don't know if that's sarcasm or not.”

Billie giggles, hand placed in her pockets. “Guess.”

“Arse.” Mona's lips curls into a smile, while Billie loops her arm around her sister's. “By this time, Uncle Ned has already moved to Richmond so we'll take a bus to his place.” They walk into the busy city with its buzzing sounds and lights flashing all over. Passing by a graffiti, Mona holds Billie's hand to reassure herself that she's not alone in the strange yet familiar city.

“Thank god for your ironclad memory. I don't even remember what we ate last night.” Billie nudges Mona with her shoulder.

“It was lasagna—” Mona stops halfway, eyes glued on someone sitting on the bus stop. She has Billie’s lips and face shape. And with Mona's eyes and smile. “Mum?”

Billie follows her line of sight, palms suddenly clammy at the sight of a younger you. “Holy fuck.” You look amazing in your high heeled boots, and blouse that Billie herself saw while rummaging through the boxes back home. You're unmistakably you. “What are we gonna do?”

“We just walk away— oh fuck, she's cryin’” Sure enough, your casual façade fades into sadness. You hold your face in your hands, shoulders shaking and tears seeping through your fingers. “What the fuck happened?” Their heart aches for you.

“I don't know, but that's our mum, c’mon.” They don't hesitate to walk towards you. Damn all the time traveling rules they got from movies, you're their mum and they can't bear it when you cry.

Their shoes click against the pavement, eyes trained on your shivering form. “H–hi,” Billie starts with trepidation. “Are you okay?” She tilts her head, making sure to give you enough space so as to not frighten you.

You swallow thickly, hands immediately rubbing along your eyes to wipe away the tears. But your red eyes stay despite your gentle smile. “Hello, sorry, am I blocking the bench?” You say with a broken tone, acting fine while you gather your bag.

“No, mu—” Mona's lips wobble at the sight of your tear stained cheeks. “No, you're not blockin’ the way. We're askin' if you're okay.”

You nod your head with hesitation. “Yeah, I'm okay, sorry to bother you.”

“I don't think you're okay.” Billie says bluntly. “Sorry, that was a bit rude. ‘m—” she pauses, thinking of another name so that she doesn't accidentally change her actual name in the present. “Milly, that's my name. My sister…Eunice and I were just a bit worried ‘bout you.”

Mona winces at the name her twin chose for her. “Yep,” she says, side eyeing her sister. “Are you hurt?”

You chuckle wetly, “does being heart broken count?”

What the fuck did dad do? Both Billie and Mona think at the same time. They look at each other knowingly.

Mona sits next to you while Billie leans on the bus stop. “You can tell us.”

“I'm sorry but I don't like bothering strangers with my sad loner story.”

“Nah, bother us.” Billie smiles gently at you.

You manage to crack a smile. “You both remind me of him actually. You have that confident nonchalance that he also has.”

Oh fuck. Billie and Mona glance at each other knowingly. They should tone down the Hobie–ness they got from their dad or else you'll suspect something is amiss.

“Uh do you guys really want to? My bus won't be here for…” you check your watch. “ten minutes. And you two must have plans tonight.”

“Nope, no plans!” Mona says nervously. “No parties no nothin'.” Billie narrows her eyes towards her sister.

“Ah same, I was just about to go to my friend's house to ask for advice since he knows him as much as I do.”

Mona flits her eyes towards Billie, silently communicating with her. She's going to uncle Ned's. Well that complicates things.

“Or you could ask us for advice instead. No bias ‘ere since we don't know both parties. Just calculated thoughts.” Billie thinks quickly.

“You sure? I don't want to keep you guys away. Your parents might get worried if you two don't come home on time.”

How ironic, Ramona thinks. “We're actually on…an errand. So they don't expect us until later.” She chuckles wryly, hoping that her lie is convincing. “What's botherin’ you?”

You sniff, tears already brimming in your eyes. “I—” inhaling, you look at their concerned faces, finding that their empathy is genuine from their expressions. For some reason, you feel relaxed in their presence. “I'm in love with my best friend. And long story short, I thought he was too. He was saying such sweet words that no friend would say to another friend and I…I thought he fancied me back.”

Billie looks away briefly, refusing to stare at your brokenhearted face. Ramona wants to hold your trembling hand, but she takes her hand back in case her touch is unwanted. You gaze at Mona softly, eyes glancing briefly at her hand before staring at the pavement.

“I h–heard someone at his place.” You stare at your shoes, hands fisting your trousers when you remember her voice ringing out from inside his houseboat. “I know I don't have a right to be jealous or feel like I'm being cheated on, but I can't shake the feeling that he wasn't genuine. That our relationship was just that, a friendship. A one sided love.” Wiping away your tears with your sleeve, you mindlessly play with your cherry earrings, helping yourself calm down. “Especially after what he said yesterday, I just thought,” you shake your head. “That he loved me back. It's stupid, isn't it?”

A looming migraine tugs at your head, you feel like there's a woodpecker poking a hole in the middle of your head, right in between your brows. You push that spot with the heel of your palm, one eye closed to shield yourself from the sun beaming at your right.

You inhale sharply. “And I have this project that could determine my future. And I'm so afraid of failing it just because I decided to ruin my friendship with him.” You gather all your remaining strength, inhaling and exhaling to suppress the headache. Surprisingly, Mona shifts to your side to shield you from the glare of the sun. You look at them, their eyes and soft smiles reminding you of him. “I love him beyond belief. That's a crazy fucking thought.”

Both girls don't remember this part of your love story whenever you or Hobie recall how you two got together after being friends for more than ten years. Billie swallows down her nerves, she leaves the side of the bus stop to crouch down in front of you, looking directly at your tearful eyes.

“‘m sorry that happened to you. And that's not a mad thought.” Mona gently grasps the back of your hand, kneading your palm with her thumb just like how you always did for them back in the present. “You're under a lot of stress, everythin’ just feels like it's all coming down on you, yeah?” You nod, “but it's not, the world's not crumbling down on you.”

“We don't have the right words to help you but—” Billie continues, reaching for her sister's hand that's wrapped around your own. She holds onto you and Mona with a tender touch. “We do know one thing, you'll be okay.”

Mona nods, smiling sweetly at you. “We know you'll be okay.”

You chuckle through the tears, frown replaced with a smile. “Thank you for hearing me out. I think I just needed to vent. I'm sorry that you had to hear all of that.” You joke. “I feel lighter,” squeezing their hands, you grin wider as a tear slides down your cheek. “I feel better, thank you. For a bunch of kids, you two seem to know more than I do.”

“Mum and dad taught us well.” Billie almost chokes on her words when a lump in her throat appears. She wants to go home and see her family.

The bus arrives, and the door opens with a hiss. You pat each of their hands before letting go. “I think I'll go back to my dorm, it's better to finish my project than travel an hour away and bother my friend.”

“Again, you're not a bother.” Mona stands up from her seat, she follows Billie, who's already in the bus’s doorway. “We're glad to lend you an ear.”

“Tell your bloke that he's bein’ a prick, yeah?” Billie jokes, making Mona slap her arm.

You gather your things, already walking away. “I think I will. I'll see you two around. Oh, and uh, nice pants. I have something similar to it, you have a good fashion sense.”

Both girls beam, looking down at their matching corduroys but in different shades. Mona waves at you, almost throwing you a flying kiss, good thing she stopped herself before she blew it.

Meanwhile, Billie waves more enthusiastically even with the tears still clinging to her lashes. “Thanks! It was our mum’s!” As the doors close and they watch your retreating form smile and wave at them goodbye, they feel closer to you than ever.

—

Mona and Billie finally arrive at their uncle Ned's place. It's a simple flat with a bike parked up front, and a flower bed that's been abandoned judging by the dead leaves clinging to the pots.

“I think it's this one. I remember the whole band took a picture in front of it before uncle Ned moved away.” Mona walks up the steps, hand reaching up the door to knock. She pauses, suddenly shy at the thought of talking in front of someone who doesn't know them like they know him.

“You want me to do the talkin’?” Billie asks wholeheartedly without malice or a condescending tone. “I'll try my best not to scare him. Not like the time we sold cookies.”

Her sister nods, “okay, just don't tell him that…” she leans in closer to whisper. “We're from the future.”

Billie chuckles, mirroring her sister. “I won't.” Leaning back, she clears her throat. “Trust me I can handle it.” Holding out her fist, she knocks on the door with a rhythm that both girls made up to recognize each other through the door.

“Hold on!” Someone's muffled yells call at them. “just a minute, Y/N!”

“Oh, he's expectin’ mum.” Billie says, “should I tell him that we ran into her?”

Mona whips her head towards her twin. “I–I don't—”

The door swings open, and out comes Ned in a pink fluffy bathrobe with a toothbrush still in his mouth. “Can I help you?” He raises a brow, looking at their faces like he's trying to place where he last saw them.

“Ned Leeds?”

“Yeah? If you're selling stuff, I don't want it.” He starts to close the door but Billie stops it from closing with her boot in the doorway. Thank goodness for steel toed boots. “I already paid the down payment, now leave me alone.”

“We're not ‘ere for… whatever that is. We need your help.” With Billie's words, Ned opens the door again just a smidge.

“Oh, you lost? I can call your parents for you.”

“That's the thing though, we heard that you're good with tech?” Billie looks at her sister, she nods quietly in place. “And we're looking for someone who can fix our watch.”

Ned's face morphs into annoyance, thinking it's one of those modus operandi for scams. “Call a horologist.” He moves to close the door again before shoving Billie's foot out of the doorway with his fluffy slippers.

“Wait!” Mona shouts, hands grasping the door to keep it open. Billie's eyes widened, afraid for her sister's fingers. “We're aliens!”

A silence hangs in the air for a second while Ned glances at them with an unreadable expression. Then, he laughs amusingly. Both girls look at each other desperately.

“You? The both of you are aliens?” He asks sarcastically.

Billie sucks in her teeth, pushing the door further to open it more, still very careful of her strength lest she doesn't end up meeting uncle Ned in the future. “You sleepwalk at night, and when you do, you always prepare a sandwich in the kitchen, that's why you have that scar on your palm from that one time you used a knife.”

Mona gasps then tamps down a giggle when she realizes what her twin is doing. She remembers when their dad told them that story while the rest of the band were blackout drunk in their old backyard. He had to dodge the knife just to take it from Ned while you were afraid that it would nick either of them.

Their uncle flicks his eyes at his palm, sure enough the scar stares back at him. “How'd you know that? Only two people know about that—”

“You didn't know how to ride a bike until you were sixteen.” Billie continues, slowly walking inside the flat. Mona follows closely, hands placed on her hips to intimidate their poor uncle. He backs down with a terrified expression. “Your friends doesn't know that you're datin’ again. And that you're highly allergic to limes.” Ned looks pale, looking like he's about to faint on the spot. For the cherry on top, Billie shows her ‘hightech’ phone, causing Ned to blink at what the brick shaped object is.

“And peanuts!” Mona adds, and Billie gives her an approved nod. Ned walks backwards into a wall, toothbrush falling from his agape mouth.

“Holy shit,” His chest heaves, wide eyes staring at their faces, waiting for it to turn into bug eyed green creatures from mars. “I'm gonna call the cops now.”

Billie side steps and blocks the only phone in the room, “nuh uh, Ned Leeds. Mon, show him.”

“Oh god I don't want to see your true forms!” He cowers back into a corner.

Mona takes the watch from her pocket, practically shoving it in his face. He jumps away, shoulders shaking. “Sorry, we really just need your help in fixin’ this so we can go home.”

“Y–you’re not gonna hurt me? Or tell me how I die?”

“D’you want us to tell you?” Billie is clearly having too much fun with him.

“...no.” Ned sniffs, trying to calm his nerves while taking a look at the cracked watch. His expression shifts, eyes blinking at the tech. “This looks futuristic.”

“Can you fix it, unc—” Billie clears her throat, “Ned Leeds.”

He furrows his brow at her, “I think so, it might take some time though.”

Both girls look at eachother, they sigh, anxiety rolling around in the pit of their stomach. “Please fix it as fast as you can. Our—” Mona spares a glance at her sister, finding that she has the same expression as her. “Parents are looking for us, they're worried. And we miss our brother too. So please, fix it.”

Ned nods, staring at them empathetically even after what transpired. “So your planet needs you then?”

“...sure.” Billie says with a lopsided smile. “Can we trust you, mortal?” Mona hides the roll of her eyes by closing her eyes.

“Absolutely. If you spare me and my planet.” They don't know whether he's playing them too or he genuinely thinks that they're aliens.

“Better yet,” Mona adds, “you get to learn about our technology while you're at it. Win/win.” Yeah, that definitely won't change anything in the future. Or so she hopes.

“Deal!” Ned walks towards his dining table, already getting all his tools out from his pile of boxes. “Let's get started then. But before that, you guys don't have ray guns right?”

The twins have a long day ahead of them.

—

The sun was beginning to set when Mona woke Billie up from her nap on Ned's couch which was surprisingly comfortable despite it still covered in plastic. After a few hours trying to crack the watch open, Ned has finally figured out what's wrong with it. The bad news is that he needs parts, lots of it, to get it up and running the sooner the better. The good news is that he knows where to get most of the parts, the other bad news is that it's three hours away from his flat. So the three of them decided to split off, the girls will be going back to London to get the new set of lens and power supply from a shop. While Ned drives alone to get the rest. He even left them a copy of his flat keys so that they got somewhere to stay after shopping.

Billie yawns, joints cracking as she stretches her arms up. “Uncle Ned's too trustin’ of people, no wonder he fell for that scam a few years ago.” She jingles the set of keys around her finger, twirling the carabiner around.

They walk on the sidewalk that faces a preppy looking university. A few people walk about, some frantically run inside the campus. Billie guessed they might be late to class, or just needed to take a dump. Her mind wanders off as Mona sighs next to her with the plastic bag of spare parts clanging against her leg.

“I think he's just awfully nice, Bee. It's either that or he knows who we are.” She places her cheek atop her sister's bicep, tired bones creaking as they walk slowly. She wonders if you and Hobie got home already, and if you're freaking out once you see the empty house.

“Literally impossible, how would he know?”

“His best mates are mum and dad, he has known them since they were young. And he's smart, he might've figured it all out—”

“Holy fuck is that dad?!” Billie yells out of nowhere, startling her sister. “Christ, he looks awful.”

Mona follows her gaze, stopping to see a tall disheveled man standing next to his bike at the campus parking lot. His hair and leather jacket stands out amidst the crowd, and his demeanor screams lovelorn. His shoulders slump, hands moving about like he's about to take a leap of fate. When Mona follows what he's looking at, she's not surprised that he's staring at you.

“And mummy too.”

“What–?” Billie peeks behind a car, gasping when she sees you talking to a friend in front of your campus building. “Talk about drama.”

“Billie, I think we're in trouble if we don't help them get back together.”

“What do you mean? I think we already helped by talkin’ to mum.” Mona starts to walk towards the university entrance, eyes trained on the younger version of their dad.

“Yeah, but not dad.” They stop right next to a parked car, hiding behind it to watch whether or not Hobie would walk towards you. Or do something, anything to keep the peace between the two of you. “Look at him, I've never seen him this nervous since our brother was born.”

“Correction, I've seen him this nervous during our recital.” Mona just stares at her with a flat look. “What? ‘m just copyin’ you.” She teases with a chuckle. “You said it yourself, we can't talk to dad.”

“Yeah, ‘bout us bein’ his kids, but that doesn't include us givin’ him advice.”

“What are we even goin' to tell him? He's gonna eat us whole, Mon, look at him!” Both girls turn their attention towards Hobie. “Ew, he's all sweaty—okay, not that but, he looks like he's gonna bully us.”

“This is the exact same time he got bit by the spider. Give him some slack, Bee.” Mona rolls her eyes, in her peripheral vision, she sees you walk towards your dorm building with a couple of classmates. “Besides, he's not gonna bully us.” She takes the opportunity to cross the distance towards Hobie while you're occupied with your friends in the lobby.

“Yeah, but remember uncle Ned tellin' us that he wore a cardigan with loafers one time and dad never let him hear the end of it?”

“Yeah, but mum wears it all the time and he says that it looks cute on her!” They walk briskly when Hobie gets on his bike. “Not in those words, ‘fit’ is the word he used, but he doesn't bully people!”

“That was mum! Not us who are a couple of almost identical strangers—” Billie tries to grab Mona by her shoulder but she's faster than her, dodging her hand and standing in front of their dad's motorcycle with an intense look.

Mona inhales deeply, nose flaring up, index pointing at their dad. When she opens her mouth, no words come out.

Hobie blinks at them, eyebrows furrowed with a questioning look. “Is there somethin' on my face?”

“Nothin’! My sister ‘ere thought you're somebody else.” Billie tries to save face, pulling Mona out of the way but she stands firm. “Let's go, Mon.”

“You!” Mona starts tentatively, Billie groans, hiding her face with her hands from the second hand embarrassment. ���I– you better apologize to mu— Y/N! Yeah, apologize t–to her.” She puts her hands on her hips, trying to act intimidating. Billie curses under her breath.

“You’re friends with Y/N?” Hobie leans atop the handlebars of his bike, confused about the whole ordeal. “I don't remember her talkin' ‘bout a couple of teenagers bein’ friends with her. Didn't your parents teach you manners?”

Mona swallows thickly, looking back towards Billie for help. Her twin sighs, stepping forward to fix the situation. “Well,” she chuckles nervously, his pointed stare reminds her of his look whenever they break curfew. “We're—” she's at a loss for words when Hobie raises a brow at her. Her palms are suddenly clammy. “Just apologize to her please.”

Hobie chuckles lightly, hands rubbing along his face tiredly. “That's what ‘m tryin’ to do, mate.”

The girls glance at each other briefly, sensing their father's frustration and sorrow behind his words.

“I don't know where to start, she wouldn't answer my calls, it was a misunderstandin’, I—” He sniffs, eyes staring off in the direction of where you are. “Is she alright, at least? She eatin’, sleepin’?”

Mona purses her lips, “we don't know but she misses you.”

Hobie's eyes shines in the orange afternoon glow. “Yeah, same over ‘ere.” He taps his brake mindlessly with his thumb, a nervous tick of his that the girls are familiar with. “Don't worry, I'll talk to her. I think she just needs some time away from me.” He chuckles without humour. “Ten years with me will do that to you.”

They both shake their heads. “We don't think so,” their hearts break for their dad. In the present they know how much he loves you, but now they know that he loves you just as much as in the past. “Just please talk to her.”

“And remember she has that fashion show.” Billie adds, frowning as she fights the tears in her eyes. If they fail, they wouldn't be born, she wouldn't have met her sister. She wouldn't have met their younger brother no matter how annoying he can be sometimes. “Don't make her wait or she might not come back for you.”

She recalls the story that she knows like the back of her hand. Where you come back to London after years of being apart, only connected with him through letters and late night phone calls. If he doesn't cross the line that he's been tethering over for the past ten years, or if you don't take that leap of fate you always wanted to, their family wouldn't exist. Their love would cease to exist.

Hobie swallows down his nerves. “I'll keep tryin', and I remember her show. I'll be there.” With a nod, he puts on his helmet.

Both girls back away. “And we'll make sure that she gives you the outfit.”

Billie smiles, “we think you'll like it.”

Hobie grins under the helmet, eyes staring briefly at you, as if saying goodbye for now. “If she made it, I already like it.” He revs his engine, “thanks, uh?”

“Milly and Eunice!” Billy says with her whole chest while Mona side glances at her with a scrunched up look.

“Milly,” he repeats, smiling, “wait, have I seen you two before?”

The twins widen their eyes, quickly walking away before he could ask any questions. “Maybe at a gallery or a concert? Anyway, bye, da— Hobie!”

As they walk away with their heads down, they hear Hobie drive away from behind with more questions swimming in his mind. Sighing, they see themselves in front of your dorm building. Before they could leave, the door opens and your head peeks over the crack.

Your eyes are clearly brimming with tears, nose relentlessly sniffing. “That was him.”

“Oh, mu— Y/N.” Mona opens the door, and without thinking, she hugs you. To both of their surprise, you hug back. Billie joins in after the shock, patting your back gently as you cry on Mona's shoulder.

—

“Where'd you guys learn how to stitch? You're both pretty good at it.” You say while you put the last safety pins on the red blazer you made.

The girls found themselves in your dorm with snacks and drinks around them. You all sit on the floor in a circle while they help you put the finishing touches on your project. Aka, what their dad will wear on the runway. After you cried buckets full of tears in front of them, you insisted that you pay for their dinner as compensation for making them hear all your woes. Which they declined, instead they asked if they could lighten the load for you by helping with your project which was probably fifty percent of your problems. So, with slight reluctance, you ordered food to go and the three of you clicked together like you've known eachother since childhood. Well, that was the case for the girls.

“Our mum did. Dad helped too.” Mona smiles, hands pausing from the lace she's stitching together.

“They sound like cool parents then.” You smile back sweetly, “sewing is a necessary skill.”

“Oh we know.” Billie says, referring to all the times you had to sew Hobie's wounds close even before they were born. Mona nudges her, giving her a ‘shut up’ look.

You smile gently at them, and they miss you dearly from that smile. The second they get home they're gonna hug you immediately. And maybe their dad too after they glare at him for a minute.

“You two are twins right?” You laugh awkwardly, “I didn't want to ask back at the bus stop, it might've been too obvious.”

“Yep, unfortunately I didn't absorb her in the womb.” Billie jokes while she paints the white t-shirt with a graffiti style design.

“Oi!” Mona scolds her sister but her grin betrays her. “You stole my joke.”

Giggling, you lay the blazer down flatly to double check your stitches. “I've always wanted a twin you know, it's like having a forever best friend. You two get along so well.”

“I think you already have a forever best friend.” Billie says softly.

You mirror her smile, hands playing with your cherry earrings. “Yeah, I guess I do have one already.” You look like you're in deep thought. “I saw you two talking to Hobie, how'd you know the guy I was talking about was him?”

“Uh,” Mona sucks in her teeth. “He seems like your type? I mean judging from how you talked about him.” She sounds unsure.

“Was I that obvious?” Thankfully, you buy it. They sigh in relief. “What did you three talk about? If you don't mind me asking.”

“We don't mind.” Billie leans back against your bed, grabbing her soda cup to sip while you wait for them to speak about the conversation they had. “We just talked ‘bout you, nothin' bad don't worry. We just told him to apologize, and he asked about you actually.”

Your eyes light up before faltering, “he did?”

“Yeah, he looked apologetic. He says he's gonna keep tryin' to talk to you, but he also says he'll give you some time for a bit.” Mona continues for her sister. “He was askin' if you were alright, if you were sleepin’ and eatin' okay.”

Your cheeks heat up while your eyes brim with tears again. The girls can tell that you missed him a lot. “If you see him again, can you tell him that I'm trying too? And that he's right, I think I need a bit of time to gather my complicated thoughts.”

“You can say it yourself durin’ the show.” Billie's smile grows into a smirk, knowing what happens during the said fashion show. “He said he'll be there.”

The perks of having enhanced abilities is feeling what people's emotions are like. Kind of like their spidey senses telling them if the person in front of them is angry enough to attack or when exactly to comfort someone. But this time it's neither of those things, they sense that your heart is thudding loudly against your ribcage, and that your hands are suddenly sweaty, and that your cheeks are practically on fire from the simple words, complete with butterflies flying in your stomach.

They felt the same thing with Hobie while talking to him. They chalked the quick heartbeat and sweaty palms were from the new powers that are still taking hold of him. But the butterflies and how he tenderly looked at you do not lie. He's unquestionably, unequivocally in love with you just like how you're absolutely lovestruck by your best friend.

Both girls think that there's no danger of them fading away into nothingness knowing that you two won't let go of your feelings for the other. All they have to do now is to help you finish your project and wait for Ned to complete their watch. For now, they'll keep you company in your cramped dorm that they've heard a lot of stories about during their childhood.

“Now let's finish this masterpiece for the love of your life, hm?”

—

You try to sneak out of your dorm room at the crack of dawn. The three of you chatted until Billie fell asleep on your desk, to which Mona apologized on her behalf. She was about to wake her up but you stopped them, telling them that it's alright for them to stay the night if they called their parents beforehand, and that they'd stay quiet so that your R.A wouldn't kick them out. You didn't want them commuting this late at night. You even considered calling Yuri to borrow her car and drive them back home, which the girls refused since if they see another person they care about in the present here, they would've balled their eyes out.

Mona, with her quick thinking, dialed a ‘fake’ number in your landline, your number in the present. She imagined that she was talking to you even though you're technically in the same room with her. She even asked how her dad and brother were in the so-called conversation. She missed her family dearly. Billie heard it all while she was half asleep, her head hidden on her arms cushioning her head, eyes starting to blur as she remembered your promise to them before they fell back in time.

As the girls slept in your bunk, you tiptoe over all the mess the three of you made. Scraps of fabric lay about, various colours of thread roll around the floor as you quietly pack the finished outfit in a box. With one last look at the leather vest you painstakingly made, you shut the box closed, tied it with a ribbon and wrote your message on the back of a starbucks reward card.

You almost made it out without waking either one of them, but the creaking door woke both of them up with a start. Ramona thinks that it's their spidey senses rousing them from their sleep.

“Where are you goin'?” Mona blearily asks, one eye cracked open.

“Sorry,” you wince, “I was just dropping this off at Hobie's place. Go back to sleep, I'll get breakfast for you two as thanks for helping.”

“Nah, we're comin' with.” Billie, forgetting that she's on the top bunk, falls face first.

“Oh fuck!” You panic, walking quickly towards her while Mona helps her sister up. Billie's giggles echo around the room, and you're definitely sure that the whole building heard the thud.

“‘m okay,” she yawns as Mona rolls her over to face the ceiling. “Jus’ fine, mon-mon.”

You and Mona both sigh in relief. “You sure? I can take you to the hospital? Quick, how many fingers am I holding up?” You hold up a fist in front of her.

“None, that's your fist.” She swipes your hand away. Sitting up, she blinks all the sleep away while Mona tamps down her laughter. “You said breakfast right?”

—

After eating a breakfast sandwich, the three of you walk and chat as you cross the street towards Hobie's houseboat where it’s currently docked.

“Our brother's a little shit sometimes but we love him.” Billie sips at her cooling tea, letting the warming air flutter her lashes.

“Mm-hmm,” Mona is still chewing on the last bite of her sandwich. “He likes monster trucks and playin’ the drums. On his 7th birthday, our parents got him a drum kit with monster trucks painted on it.”

You giggle, box in hand that feels heavier with every step you get closer to Hobie's place. “He's definitely not gonna regret the monster truck design when he's older.” You say with sarcasm.

“I think he's already regrettin’ it, Y/N.” Billie isn't used to calling you by your first name, it feels wrong but it's inaccurate (and weird) if she calls you mum when she's only a few years younger than you. Technically.

You stop mid step, eyes roaming around the houseboat docked on the side. Both girls remember it from old photos of when they were still toddlers waddling around the houseboat. They remember that they used to love the place, no matter how small it was. To them, it was their castle. Their home on the water where they said their first word, and celebrated all their firsts.

“Oh,” Billie seems to have the same nostalgia brought sadness when she sees it floating. She grabs Mona by her arms, face placed on her bicep. “Is it just me or do I suddenly miss this boat?” She whispers.

Mona pats her back, “not just you, Bee, I forgot how much I missed this place.” She blinks and you're gone from her side. “Wait, where's—?”

Billie turns around, spotting you hiding behind a tree, and clutching the box to your chest. You lock eyes with her, shaking your head and pursing your lips.

The twins look at each other before walking towards you. “You okay?” Mona asks you, brows knitted together at your sniffing.

“I don't think I can face him.”

Billie understood your feelings. She has an idea as she peeks behind the tree to take a look at the houseboat.

“How ‘bout I do it for you then? I won't talk to him, I'll just leave the box at his doorstep, no problemo.”

“Can you? Please?” You're already handing the box with shaky hands.

Billie meets with Mona's eyes, her sister nods, agreeing that her idea was for the best.

“Right, don't worry I'll do it quickly he won't even hear me.”

“Be careful, the floor is very slippery when wet. I don't want you to fall in the water.” You say with a wobbly smile. “And thank you, Milly.”

“It's alright.” Billie walks briskly towards the boat, making sure not to make any sound with every footstep as you and Mona watch from behind the tree.

Billie leaps over the boat effortlessly, boots barely making a squeak. As she tiptoes over to the door, her senses perk up. The hair on the back of her neck stiffens, while her ears pick up the unmistakable sound of her dad's footsteps. With wide eyes, she makes her escape.

Mona senses it too, silently beckoning her twin over to their hiding spot before Hobie could open the door.

Just as Billie’s hand grasps Mona's, yanking her behind the tree, the door opens with a creak. And out comes Hobie stumbling on his feet as he skids to a stop, almost trampling over the box. His eyes roam around the area, flicking left and right for your familiar face. Finding no one, he sighs and picks up the box gingerly. Once he reads the note you left, his eyes soften, glimmering in the early morning light as he gets back inside with his shoulders slumped over.

You finally exhale when you heard the door closed. You didn't have the heart to peek behind the tree to look at him, lest you run to his arms and let out all the words you wanted to say.

“I'm sorry you had to do that for me.” You say and you see them whispering amongst each other. “Oh, do you two need to go?”

“Yeah,” Billie closes the distance, “we need to check on somethin’ but we'll be back to see your show.” She hugs you suddenly, and you hug back before she lets go of you, but not without her signature smile.

“That would be great, you get to see the clothes you helped make.” You pat her back kindly.

Mona waits on the side, you see her casually waiting and you immediately open your arms to her. “Thank you, Eunice.” Her lips wobble for a second, she embraces you before you could see her tears flow that she immediately wipes away.

“You're welcome. I know you'll kill it.”

“I hope so, before it kills me.” You joke as you hold her at arm's length. “I'll see you two at the show then?”

Holding each of their hands, you beam at them. And both girls have the urge to hug you again. They don't, knowing that they'll be home before they know it and embrace the real deal by then.

“We'll see you there.” They say simultaneously.

You giggle, “twin telepathy.” They wave goodbye to you, now knowing a different side of you.

—

Billie and Ramona got the right parts for Ned to fix the watch which needed an entire day for him to finish. Mona helped in assembling the parts while Billie made sure everything in the interdimensional watch worked by poking and prodding each individual screw and notches if it sparked or not. If there's sparks, the power is working normally in that section of the watch, if not, Ned and Mona had to rearrange the whole thing again.

Shadowing over their dad's work table while he assembles gadgets since before they could even talk actually helped. They can't wait to show all the work they've done and accomplished to their dad. Hobie would be proud of them persevering through all the shocks and mechanical hisses the old watch emanated.

Ned was terrified out of his mind though, there was real danger of him accidentally blowing up his new flat together with a couple of strangers that he has grown to know through the assembly of the ‘intergalactic’ gadget.

“Shit!” Mona wakes up from her nap in the guest bedroom that the twins have called their own for the past day or so. “Bee!” She pats her side, finding her sister snoring under the covers. Flinging the blanket, she shakes her awake. “Wake the fuck up! We're gonna miss mum's show!” With a kick to Billie's leg, she sits up with a startle.

“Oi! What the fuck!”

“Get up! We need to see them before we go!” Mona's already fixing her appearance in the mirror, and then she quickly folds the blanket and makes the bed while Billie groggily walks around the room to grab her shoes.

“Calm down, uncle Ned still hasn't finished the last bits. D’you want us explodin’ in the portal?”

“No, but I don't want to miss the show. It's the event that started it all, Bee.” Mona walks in front of Billie to fix her shirt for her. “Besides, we need to make sure it goes as planned. If dad doesn't show up and confesses backstage we're basically fucked.”

Billie yawns, “yeah, I forgot all ‘bout the space time continuum.” Her sister grabs her hand as she yanks the door open, almost breaking its hinges apart. “Careful!”

“Sorry!” As they leave, Ned does a double take.

“Wait, where are you going?” He asks, jittering from the fifth cup of coffee he had in the past twelve hours.

They stop in their tracks, “uh, we're gonna go see a fashion show?”

“Huh?” Ned makes a face, “without your watch?” He fishes the finished watch from his pocket, showing it off to them.

“No shit?” Billie guffaws, taking the watch gingerly in her palms like holding a precious stone.

“Yes shit.” Ned grins, “just finished it a few minutes ago. You're good to go.”

Mona laughs, wide eyed at her uncle. “You're bloody brilliant, Ned Leeds.”

He shrugs, “I should say the same thing to you two. I guess it runs in the blood eh?” The twins look at him with their mouths agape. “I would drive you but I can't see straight right now. There's three of you.” Laughing, he sits down on the couch with a groan, eyes growing heavy.

The girls smile kindly at him, Ramona puts on the watch on her wrist, its metal is shiny and new but Hobie's stickers and design still remains in the wrist strap. It blinks and boops on her wrist, more than ready to go home.

“Thank you, mortal.” Billie still plays with the bit, even making a peace sign at him while they leave.

“Yeah yeah,” Ned grins tiredly at them, waving them out of his house. “say hi to your mum and dad for me, yeah?”

They turn their heads towards him lightning quick. But by the time they stare at him with surprised faces, he's already snoring on the couch.

“We need to give him a really nice gift on his birthday when we get back.” Billie says with a laugh. Shutting the doors closed, they make their way to the bus stop with one destination in mind.

—

They make it in time. The venue was packed, and the runway was in full swing with various models strutting their stuff on the raised platform.

As they push through the front towards the backstage, they see another familiar face in the audience, your old professor that always sends them gifts during their birthdays without fail. The girls only met her one time during their fifth birthday, and they only heard stories about her from you but they feel a kinship with her ever since the old professor was in your life. Without her near impossible project, you and their dad wouldn't have gotten together and pushed through the boundaries to be together.

Billie waves at her with a grin, followed by Mona who even greets her politely. Mrs. Williams creases her perfect brows together at the two strangers, but thinks nothing of it as she continues to grade her students.

With a push of the curtains, they see you pacing along the floor alone, clearly nervous out of your mind while you keep looking back at the double doors. Hoping to see Hobie suddenly appear.

“Shit, did we fuck up?” Billie grasps her sister's shoulder while they peek their heads through the curtains.

Mona heaves, panic settling in her stomach. “I—”

She gets cut off before she could even say another word. The doors burst open, flying off the hinges to reveal Hobie in his outfit that you painstakingly made. The twins almost squeal in place, but they clamp down their mouths shut in case they disturb you and their dad.

“This is it.” Mona grabs Billie's hand, and they look at eachother with an excited grin.

“Hobie?” You ask, chest heaving, palms clammy.

Instead of Hobie grabbing your face and kissing you until you're breathless, he passes by you to get to the runway. The girls sees your posture deflate, face in pure disbelief and confusion.

“What?” Mona watches you in place while Billie can't believe her eyes while she follows where her dad is heading.

Hobie struts down the runway like he owns the place. Billie had to move her sister's head to make her look at their supposed silly dad making the runway his. Their eyes grow wide while camera flashes go off around him, which doesn't even faze him one bit, not while you're waiting at the end of the runway. As he heads back towards you, his fake model façade fades.

“Hobie, I—!” You say, and you're met with his lips upon your own.

With the closing of the runway, Hobie finally crosses the line he has been threading through for years.

When you kiss back, both Billie and Mona back away with their eyes closed but smiles on their faces.

They laugh with tears in their eyes, then with a hug, they leave the venue out into the sun. Hand in hand, they punch the right codes into the present.

“Ready?” Mona asks.

“Just press the bloody button, Mon-mon.”

A kaleidoscope of light appears, showering them in warmth, and down they go without wasting another second.

—

“Do you have your sisters’ ice cream?” You pat your son's head, and he hums against his ice cream cone, cheeks painted with caramel while showing you the plastic bag in his other hand. “You need a haircut, baby.” Giggling, Hobie opens the front door for you. “What a gentleman.”

Hobie points at his lips with a playful glint in his eyes. “Payment.”

You feign a sigh, “chivalry is dead, I guess.” And yet, you still give him a chaste kiss, tasting the cherry he plucked from your sundae.

A thud interrupts your tender gazes, and you instinctively look at your youngest, finding him all wide eyed and ice cream forgotten as he looks at the house.

“You okay there, little man?” Hobie asks, crouching down. He rubs his back and follows his gaze. Whistling out, he sees the entire house perfectly decorated for Halloween. Orange and purple streamers were strewn about the staircase, pumpkins and blackcats are placed in the same spot you always put them in. Plastic bats, gaudy string lights and knitted skeletons that you made while pregnant with your youngest, decorate your shared home. The girls definitely did their job perfectly, but they're nowhere to be seen.

You clutch onto Hobie, cheek pressed on his bicep, gawking at the decorated living room. “They even found the skeletons we thought were missing.”

Hobie chuckles, pecking the top of your head while his arm wraps around your middle and his free hand placed atop his son's head. “And even dressed the skeletons in my clothes.”

“They found Bilbo!” Your son runs off towards the mechanical witch that cackles when it detects movement. Somehow that one is his favourite.

“Mac and cheese, where are you?” Hobie calls for them, hand in hand with you while you two search the first floor of the house. Reaching the kitchen, roaming his eyes around, he just sees empty pumpkin shaped bowls on the counter and not a sign from either one of his girls. “Where—?” He jumps when he sees someone crawling on the ceiling towards him. “Fuck!” Yelling, he pushes you behind him to shield you from the ‘danger.’

Guffaws echo as Billie reveals herself, flinging her hair away to show her face. “I got you!” Giggling, she drops down on the floor, landing elegantly on her feet, and then beelining to embrace you and Hobie. She can finally hold you, the you that she knows and loves.

“Takin’ advantage of my lack of spidey senses for you and your sister, huh?” Hobie says, hugging her back with a heavy peck on the crown of her head.

“You and your sister did such a good job, Bee!” You rub her back while she hides her face on your shoulder, hiding her tears from you. Your mum senses tingle, “you okay, baby?”

Billie sniffs, leaning away briefly. “Yeah, I just missed you both so much.”

“We were only gone for an hour, Mac. Did somethin’ happen?” Hobie wipes away a stray tear from her cheek, worrying more when Mona is still nowhere to be found. “Where's your sister?”

An upside down face suddenly pops down from the ceiling in front of Hobie's face, making him jump away. “That's for mum!” She points accusingly at Hobie while she somersaults back on the ground.

Hobie holds his chest, “what did I do?!”

Ramona ignores him for a moment. “Hi, mum.” Embracing you, she rubs her face against your shoulder, trying hard not to sob in front of you.

“Hi, baby, why is everyone crying today, huh? You're gonna make me cry too.” You hold her cheeks, and then you kiss her forehead sweetly. Reaching for Billie, she immediately latches herself onto you, and you smother them both in kisses.

Hobie watches on with a tender smile, Mona beckons him over and he obliges as Mona detaches herself from you to hug him properly. He cups her jaw, looking at her eyes that's near identical to yours. “You okay, my toyota corolla?”

Ramona giggles, sniffing, and hugging him again with her arms around his neck. “Never better, dad.”

You smile, meeting Hobie's eyes, with your own shining with happy tears. He walks over to you and Billie with Mona in tow, hobbling over to you while he doesn't let go of her.

“Aww group hug!” You say, making it a mission to smooch each of their cheeks including Hobie's, who's always glad to receive them.

“We still haven't decorated the outside yet!” Billie shrieks as Hobie blows raspberries on her temple.

“We'll do that later, yeah?” Hobie leans away, admiring you and his girls with a tender smile. He wraps his arms around everyone as best as he can, almost carrying the three of you as he slowly twirls the group in place in the home that he made with you.

You and Hobie will ask about what happened later, and maybe they even have a story to tell for you two. But for now, you hold them in your arms, squeezing them affectionately.

There's clattering behind you, and you see your youngest covered in fake spider webs, with a confused look on his face that's a carbon copy of his dad's face.

“What did I miss?”

Support banner by @/cafekitsune

Custom banners by @mushroom-graphics-allotment

[yumeaoka-chan]

A Sure Thing

Pairing: Hobie Brown x Reader/ Demon! Hobie x Angel! Reader

Word Count: 5.4k

Tags: fluff, family time, fighting (just sparring), cursing, badass R(in a sense), title based off of Sure Thing by Miguel, teenage! Billie & Ramona, lovesick hobie, lovesick r, (your friends being disgustingly cute), R is AFAB, no physical description of R (besides clothing), nephalem! children

Summary: You come home to find Hobie and Ramona sparring, because of course they would be.

A/N: So... suprise? Another part to the au, I guess😭🤚 Along the lines of an epilogue. Billie, Ramona, and third child belong to @the-kr8tor 💕💕 I just came up with the son's name.

Part 1 <<< Part 5

Sweat beads at his brow, his chest heaving as he reaches over his desk for his phone. A scowl on his face when he can't quite seem to grab the blasted thing, breath growing heavier the more seconds that tick by. Where was his good for nothing secretary when he needed her?

“The stupid bitch”, the man spits as he loosens his tie, sweat dampening his crisp black suit. He blinks as his vision suddenly swims, colors bleeding together into a blurry mass of light. The man gasps, hair slipping into his eyes and chest aching. The room seems to tilt on its axis and he feels hot, too hot, too cramped. He wants to peel his skin, scratch the itch that has settled on his bones.

Then, like magic, the sensations are gone. Like water has doused the flames. The ache in his chest still lingers and with a shaky hand, he pushes back his hair, gaze stuck on the ceiling. When had he looked up? And had the lights always been off? Shaking his head free of the thought, the man wipes the sweat from his brow. That had been… strange. Perhaps he should go to the hospital, especially since it felt like his legs were glued to the floor, his butt melded into the luxurious office chair. Blinking slowly, he lets his eyes drift back down towards the door of his office, only to startle at the woman standing in front of him. Eyes skimming the figure before him, he sneers and scrunches his nose up in disgust.

“What the hell are you doing here? Security knows better than to let filth in here!” The man barks angrily, lifting his hand up to shoo the woman towards the door. Only to feel a sharp pain overcome his entire body at the motion, like needles pricking his skin and alighting his nerves. His eyes flutter before he fixes his glare at the sound of soft laughter.

“Security couldn't stop me if they tried, Mr. George Barnaby Miller”, you say softly with a chuckle, fiddling with a loose strand of fabric on your jacket. You sweep your gaze over to the stocky man behind the grand desk, movements calm and almost carefree as you slowly saunter closer towards him. A haughty man on his throne. You scoff and shake your head as an amused smile flits across your face. Where oh where have you seen that before…? Miller furrows his eyebrows at you, scowl painted on his thin lips.

“You know my name…? Never mind that”, the man huffs, hands shaky as he pulls at his collar. He clears his throat and taps a finger on his desk, demanding your attention. And with amusement sparkling in your eyes, you give it to him. “Take me to a hospital, stat. Get me there fast enough and I'll make it worth your while. Also, you'll address me as Mr. Miller, brat.”

“Hm. How about… no?” Miller narrows his eyes at your words, fire lurking beneath the depths and threatening to burn you. You aren't fazed by the flames.

“No…? You don't get to tell me no, you useless wretch. Get me there at once!”

“Why would I bring an already dead man to the hospital”, you question with a laugh, snorting at the blank look he gives you. Disbelief colors his gaze and he sneers, shaking his head and pounding a fist on the desk. It doesn't rattle, which seems to get his attention. The air is almost stale, like time has all but ceased at this moment. The man swallows a lump that forms in his throat before giving a haughty smirk, leaning back in his chair.

“Threatening me will do you no good here. Do you even know who I am, trash?”

“I do, actually! Born March 26th, 1925, father died when you were young. Hm, let me just…” With a flick of your wrist, tiny glittering gray clouds materialize into existence, littering the air around the two of you. They swirl and shine and flicker, until a sudden flash of bright light reveals the moving pictures hidden within. You can hear Miller's breath hitch at the sight, see as a hint of trepidation begins to flicker in his eyes. A smile on your lips, you stuff your hands in the pockets of your jacket and sit up top the very edge of his desk. Before he can protest, you jerk your head towards a specific gray cloud.

“Pretty, isn't it? Know what these are, Miller? They're memories. Moments in time, your time.” You mumble as you both peer at a shimmering gray cloud. The moving image inside shows a young boy cackling as he steals from poor beggars on the street, spitting in their faces before running off. The image flickers before showing the boy slapping and demanding money from a tired looking woman. She hands the boy cash with tears in her eyes

“You've always liked money and shiny things. Didn't seem to care who you were taking it from, just as long as it ended in your pockets.” You mused as you idly scratched at your neck, noting how the man behind you is silent as he watches the scene unfold. With a shrug, you nod your head at a different cloud, the flickering scene showing the same woman from before. Only now, she's bowing her head and seemingly spewing apologies towards a fuming couple. The couple have their arms wrapped around a heavily pregnant girl, who could be no older than fifteen. They're shouting as they point at the boy from before, who's older now and smirking with his hands behind his head.

“Poor girl. Got her pregnant and kept denying the baby was yours. Gotta say, nothing has changed about that.” You mumble as the scene flickers to a new one, showing the older boy now wooing another girl as the pregnant girl from before weeps at his feet. This was only making your job easier. You motion to yet another gray cloud and the two of you watch another memory. This goes on and on for what Miller thinks is hours, all the scenes portraying everything he'd ever done in his lifetime. When the clouds poof away in a shimmer of tiny sparkles, he glares at you with his jaw clenched, nostrils flared in barely restrained anger.

“What the hell do you want from me…?” That makes you scoff loudly, shaking your head as you move off of his desk and stand in front of him once more.

“You don't get it, do you Miller…? All those memories we've just sat here and watched, moments of you being nothing but a dick to people… That was your life. That's how you'll be remembered. All the pain you caused, all the lives you ruined. You abused people, your wife, your children. Discarded those who didn't fit into your perfect ideal vision like the children you had from numerous affairs. Stole from the poor, ravaged the needy. That's all they'll see when they think of you.” He laughs, a deep guffaw that comes from the belly as he slaps a hand on the desk. Like your speech just tickled him. With a sigh, you look at him with exasperation as you wait for him to finish. It takes several more moments before he finally quiets down, chuckles leaving his lips as he wipes at his tears.

“Gotta admit… That was a good one. You act as if I should care, as if my heart should bleed for those pathetic sacks of shit. Life has no room for scum like that. They should be thanking me.” Miller spits out, words a hiss of venom for all those people he trampled upon. “I taught them that only elites like me belong in this world, that they should apologize for even being born. No matter how they remember me, it'll never take away from the fact that they should have never been placed on this damn planet to begin with. They'll remember their place in this world, thanks to me!” You just stare at him, silence all you can muster for several heartbeats as he heaves from the drivel he'd uttered. With a sharp inhale, you nod your head, removing your hands from your pockets.

“Okay…”, you breathe softly, standing up straighter as you step back from the desk a bit. “That was your chance at redemption, at repentance, and you squandered it. You won't be mourned…” Angry veins threaten to pop out of his forehead as he gives you a nasty look, eyes wide and teeth bared with fury that makes his entire body shake. He points a thick, manicured finger adorned with several rings at you, hand shaking and twitching with the painful spasms that seemed to wrack his body. The guilty always did like to snap their teeth when it was unnecessary, especially if they knew that deep down, they were in the wrong.

“Know your damn place! Who the fuck are you to judge me, you filthy quim?!” The man's heavy breathing is all that can be heard in the silence of the office, the air now growing colder and thicker. As he wiped at the sweat that was starting to drip down his temples again, he could feel his temper dissipating slowly. You remained staring at him, unblinking and the slight shine to your eyes fading, like the warmth of your gaze was growing colder. There's something stirring around you, something sparking like static. Like a dangerous current of energy. Miller can see it, feels his breathing grow heavier with slight trepidation. Trepidation that slowly shifts into fear at the way the lights in the room start to flicker.

You tilt your head at him and the very ground starts to shake. The eerie look in your eyes grows all the more frigid as they start to glow a bright white, peering deep into what he feels like is his very soul. Papers and supplies suddenly shoot up into the air, whirling and spinning about the two like a raging tornado. The lights flicker sporadically, the violent winds rustling his clothes and whipping him in the face as he gazes up at you in horror. There, erupting from your back and spreading out wide behind you are a pair of glorious wings, casting a large ominous shadow about the room. The feathers gleam and glitter, shifting from pristine white to pitch black with every movement as you lift up into the air. Divine, radiant energy crackles around you, around your very fingertips as you point a finger directly at the shivering dead. Fear grips its icy claws into Miller's non beating heart and refuses to release him as you speak, your voice seeming to rattle his very bones, thundering in his ears like the most vicious of storms.

“I am peace. I am agony. I am light. I am darkness. I am protector. I am avenger. The Heaven's bell ringer. The Hells’ caterer. The Angel who hath fallen from grace. The Angel who hath conquered her fall. The Heavens and Hells demand judgment for thee and judgment I shall bestow.”

Just as his trembling lips begin to part, hastily trying to plead for mercy, a crackling bolt of energy erupts from the tip of your finger. His screams echo in your ears as his soul writhes and twitches, shrinking down, down, down. Until it is but a glowing orb floating listlessly above the desk. The howling wind slowly subsides, the papers and office supplies clattering onto the floor around you. You flutter back down to the floor, stumbling as you land on your feet. Groaning, you place a hand against your head and shake away the lingering glow of your eyes. One day, you'd get used to this part of the job. Hopefully.

Sighing, you beckon the floating red orb towards you with a flick of your finger, tucking it into your pocket once it glided into your palm. The sound of clapping makes you jump, your head whipping around towards the source. Serenity giggles at you as she nears you, hands on her hips as she nods her head.

“Doesn't matter how many times I see it, you're always so bloody terrifying. It's a good look, babes”, she hums as she links her arm with yours. You roll your eyes and shake your head, a smile flitting across your face despite yourself.

“I suppose. I wonder if it'd have the same effectiveness if I was actually in control of that part of the job.” You mumble as you feel a ghost of a hand on your shoulder, patting it in what you're sure was thanks. The Almighty. After giving you your wings back after killing Osborn, the entity had bestowed you with a new title befitting your new sense of self. Not just an Angel but nowhere near a demon. More so, you were the bridge between the Heavens and Hells, delivering judgment to those whose vile acts have threatened the lives of more than just a handful of people. An amazing job that you did with pride and great care, fairly judging the souls that were required of you. The only downside to the whole thing was that you couldn't control when you gave the whole spiel you did earlier. As long as it terrified your targets into knowing the severity of their actions, it didn't bother you.

“Oh, trust. You don't need a speech to be terrifying”, Reni says with a playful scoff, making you chuckle as you open a portal to your home. It then struck you that Serenity was here. On Earth. With a gasp, you turn and look at her with wide eyes.

“Now that I'm thinking about it, why the hell are you here? You shouldn't be out and about like this right now. How did you even get Ned to let you leave the Hells?” She groans and rolls her eyes, patting her pregnant belly with a sigh.

“I had to sneak out. I was feeling cramped! And nobody does funnel cake better than the humans, okay?” Serenity says with a sheepish smile, poking your cheek when you frown at her. “Neddy was fussing over me too much and I needed a break. Not that I don't like when he's clingy. The baby wanted earth food so she gets earth food, dammit! I'm a fully grown succubus, I think I can handle a trip while pregnant.”

“Ned is probably losing his shit right now”, you sigh heavily as you tug your friend along with you into the portal. “He gets a little dumb when it comes to you. Imagine how he's gonna act when he sees you missing.” Reni just groans and stomps her feet as she trails behind you, knowing that you were right. It makes you giggle.

You feel the weight of your day lifting off of your shoulders as you both emerge from the portal, the sight of your home filling you with warmth. A smile flits across your face as you both walk towards the cottage, heart soaring at the sight of your little Aiden running towards you.

Reni lets go of you so that you can open your arms wide, letting out a small oof when the eight year old collides into you. A chuckle leaves your lips and you pull him closer, fingers softly pushing the locs over his eyes away from his face. Aiden smiles up at you with gleaming eyes, dopey and lopsided just like his father. It always astounded you just how much he looked like Hobie, to the point he could be considered his mini me. At least he had your eyes.

“Welcome home, Mummy”, he says sweetly, beaming up at you in the most adorable way that your heart aches. Cupping his face in your hands, you press a loving kiss to his forehead and nuzzle your nose against his.

“I'm home, my darling. What have you been up to today while I was gone”, you coo softly as you lean back a bit to look at him properly. His nose twitches before he gives you an endearing look. Uh oh. A tell-tale sign that he was about to lie. You release him with a raised eyebrow, hands on your hips as you wait for his little story. Aiden chuckles softly and clasps his hands behind his back, black wings drooping behind him a bit.

“W-Well…! I, uh… I paid attention durin’ class today! Mr. O'Hara said I was good! And then, uh… I-I came home and did my homework. Honest!” His cute little smile almost makes you forget that he's lying straight through his teeth. You hum before glancing down at his shirt, noting the dirt caked onto his sleeve. Oh, of course.

“Aiden Lokius Brown, answer me truthfully. You and your sisters have been sparring with your father again, haven't you?” He shakes his head furiously, nose twitching all the while. You suppose that one day he'll get a handle on that. Just as he goes to open his mouth to deny your claims, an arm wraps around your shoulders. A deep chuckle sounds in your ears and you turn to see Hobie beaming down at you. His golden eyes sparkle and his locs spill over his shoulder as he peers at you, a knowing grin on his face.

“Wha’ is all this ‘bout sparrin’, huh? Aiden and I've been doin’ nothin’ but homework. Right, terror?” He drawls as he looks down at a slightly shocked Aiden, who quickly pulls his facial expression together before giving you a shaky smile. The sight makes you narrow your eyes and you gaze back up at Hobie with a knowing smirk, the demon before you visibly sweating under your scrutiny. After a beat of silence, you lean away from him and fold your arms.

“Come on, Billie. Jig is up”, you hum softly, biting back the grin as ‘Hobie’ groans with defeat. A shimmer of dark purple light flickers around him, before the form of your demon melts away, revealing your pouting sixteen year old. She huffs and folds her arms as she looks at you, brown wings drooping a bit in disappointment at being found out. Her clothes are mussed, dirt cakes her cheeks, and her hair has leaves sticking out of it.

“How'd you know it was me? Thought my Dad impression was spot on.” Billie grumbles, scrunching up her nose as you rub some of the dirt off of her face. A chuckle leaves your lips as you playfully yank at one of her curls.

“You and your brother should have planned this out a bit more. Besides, you forgot to add our birthstones that he wears in his hair and his necklace”, you say as you show off your ruby one that matched his sapphire one. Billie just pouts and kicks up dust with her feet before letting out a loud sigh.

“Okay, fine. We were sparring with Dad, though he only wrestled with Aiden. He and Mona are going at it right now.” You just close your eyes at her words before shaking your head and heading to the backyard, your children trailing behind you. The sounds of a scuffle grow louder the closer you get, eyes wide at the scene that greets you.

The flowers you'd planted were all but scorched, lingering purple flames burning the grass beneath it. The very earth looked as though it had been cracked open by an earthquake, the pergola now sitting lopsided. The large oak tree that you and Hobie both adored was now split in half straight down the middle. And there Hobie was, too busy sparring with his daughter to notice the state of everything. The chaos of it all just makes you sigh and you hear Reni’s voice coming up beside you, turning to see Riri at her side as well. The cambion shakes her head and grins as she points at the two, gently nudging your side with her elbow.

“Ramona’s lasted longer than the other two. Wonder if she'll finally beat him this time”, Riri says with an excited gleam in her eyes. You shoot her a glare and huff.

“Ri, you know I don't want them doing this. Look at this mess!”

“If it's any consolation, it doesn't look half as bad as last time”, Reni whispers softly, a sympathetic look on her face as she pats your back. Her hand stills suddenly and you glance at her in confusion before biting back the amused giggle from leaving your lips. Standing a few feet away is Ned, newly finished knitted blanket for the baby clutched in his hands and a frown on his trembling lips as he meets eyes with Serenity. He's quick to march over, the crow demon very clearly upset at the fact that his girl had up and disappeared on him. You watch with a barely contained grin as Reni gives him a sheepish, apologetic smile before gaping at him in shock. Unshed tears shine in his red rimmed eyes as he looks down at her, face slightly red as though he'd been crying. Poor guy. Ned sniffles before folding his arms, the blanket he made still clutched in his hands.

“Go on. Tell me where you were.” He huffs and Serenity all but caves at the sight of him, hands cupping his cheeks as she leans up to press a kiss on his lips. Riri groans beside you at the sight but refrains from booing them, clearly seeing how upset Ned is.

“I'm sorry, Neddy bear. The baby was making me crave funnel cake and I was feeling really cramped at home. I should've told you, I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd be this upset about it, honest!”

“Course I was! You're pregnant, babe! This is our first ever child and I don't want you to strain yourself.” Ned sighs before wrapping his arms around her in a hug. “If you want to get out sometimes, then just tell me. I can always walk with you or have someone else go with you, okay? Promise not to sneak out anymore? It's not good for my heart.”

“Aw. I promise, love.” Serenity coos before kissing him, Riri now officially starting to boo them. Ned flips her off, which makes you laugh. Some things never change. Taking a deep breath, the crow demon gazes around at his surroundings with wide eyes.

“Oh, shit. Wha’ happened here?” A groan leaves you as you're suddenly reminded of the chaos. The cambion besides you snorts at your friend's words.

“Took you long enough, Neddy boy.” You chose not to dwell on the thought of repairs and shift your gaze to observe the fight closely. It looks as though the long sparring session was about to come to an end, Ramona panting heavily as sweat dripped down her forehead. Hobie smirks at his daughter and tilts his head, voice taunting as he speaks.

“Come now, Mayhem. That all you got? Thought you said you was gonna make me eat dirt, huh?” He snickers before beckoning the panting teen closer. Mona grits her teeth, eyes glowing a deep blue and dark brown wings puffing up with growing irritation. Energy crackles around her then, sharp and scorching, almost like lightning. Then, she suddenly disappears in a shimmer of blue smoke, the wispy clouds dissipating into the air. Ramona appears in front of him in a shimmering puff of smoke then, quick as lightning as she kicks him in the chest. Hobie grunts before moving to grip her leg, only for his fist to close around nothing. She's behind him, aiming another kick to his back. Just as he turns around, Mona has appeared at his right, smoke billowing in her hair. She lands quick harsh jabs and kicks, moving so fast that it's hard for any of you to really keep up. Blue smoke trails after her with every new spot she teleports to.

“Go, Mona, go!” Billie cheers and Aiden jumps excitedly beside her, the two overjoyed to see their father actually getting stumped for once. Hobie chuckles, shocked and proud that he's being forced to defend himself before clicking his tongue.

“As amazin’ as this is, Mac”, he grunts before shooting out a hand to grab Ramona by the collar of her jacket right as she appears in front of him. Her eyes widen and she yelps as he suddenly flips her over his shoulder, the two tumbling onto the burnt remains of the grass below. Landing on her back with a groan, she glares up at her smirking father, slapping at his arm firmly pressed against her shoulder. Hobie chuckles and tilts his head down at where he has her pinned, his victory clear. “Not really good to be predictable, innit.”

“Ugh. One of these days, ‘M gonna win.” Ramona huffs, chest heaving and the blue glow of her eyes fizzling out. Aiden and Billie boo at Hobie as he helps her up, patting her head affectionately. Which earns him a pout and a slap on his hand.

“I look forward to seein’ it, Mon. Now, I've got to see to snoggin’ your mum.” A loud guffaw leaves you at his words and you gape at him incredulously while he jogs over to you, your children and Riri giving him a collective number of boos which does nothing but make him laugh and wiggle his eyebrows at them. You can see your reflection in his golden gaze when he's finally close enough, eyes warm and glittering with affection. Dark flawless skin glistening with a light sheen of sweat and piercings glinting in the sunlight, you have to reign in the way your eyes dare to stray lower down the opening of his loose white cotton shirt. His hair spills over his shoulder, crystals in his hair clinking together softly.

Hobie smiles down at you and places his hands on your hips, fingers looping in your belt loops and tugging you closer to him. The action alone makes your breath hitch and the way he looks down at you through his long lashes is enough to make you almost swoon. You reel yourself in, however, crossing your arms and giving him a pointed look. It makes him pause, stopping himself from leaning further down and raising an eyebrow in question at the look on your face.

“Wha's the matter, lovie?” Hobie asks curiously, fingers fiddling with your belt loops still. Narrowing your eyes and letting out a huff, you sweep out an arm to gesture to the ruins of your backyard. Gold eyes sweeping to survey the damage, he winces slightly, lips turning up into a sheepish, apologetic grin.

“O-Oh… We got carried away, huh…?” Hobie chuckles softly, biting at his bottom lip and batting his lashes down at you.

“Don't try getting cute with me. Look at this! I thought I told you I didn't want you sparring with the kids. What if someone got hurt?” The words make your demon scoff, shaking his head as he leans in closer to you, cool breath fanning your heated cheeks. You could tell what he was trying to do and part of you was certain you could resist him. A very small part, though.

“You know I'd never harm my monsters, yeah? Nothin’ happened, love. Nobody got hurt, promise”, Hobie mumbles as one of his hands move to tenderly grip your chin, lifting your face up closer to his, lips just inches from your own. The tip of his nose brushes lightly against yours and you smile up at him so sweetly, so tenderly, your hands moving to wrap around his waist, fingers drawing little patterns on his sides. Your eyes flutter as he presses a sweet kiss to your cheek, your forehead, your nose. As he peppers little kisses on your skin while trying to work you into letting him fully kiss you properly, your fingers trail lightly up his side. Brushing them along his chest, you gently poked right at the space his ribs would be, smirking up at him knowingly when he inhales sharply.

“Nobody got hurt, huh…?” You whisper softly before leaning back to gaze up at him with a raised eyebrow. Hobie lets out a huff of a laugh at being found out before shrugging.

“She got me good, wha’ can I say?” You scoff and roll your eyes.

“They're all getting stronger, Hobes. One of these days, they're gonna give you bruises”, you mumble as you gaze up at him.

“That just means I've gotten sloppy”, he says with a cheeky grin that irks you, a little annoyed that he's still joking about the fighting. Pursing your lips, you pull away from his embrace and fold your arms. Hobie lets out a confused hum, quick to loop his fingers back into your belt loops and gently tugging to pull you back to him. You don't budge, shooting him a glare.

“Nope. You lost kissing privileges.” Hobie's gold eyes widen slightly before a pout forms on his lips, fingers tugging you closer still. He leans down to rest his chin on your shoulder, hands slowly trailing up your hips to your waist and thumbs rubbing tender patterns on your sides. His voice is a low whisper, a whiny mumble that makes your heart ache and your slight resolve to punish him falter.

“I really can't get any smooches? ‘M really sorry, lovie. Gimme a kiss, please?” And now he was asking politely? The stern expression on your face was breaking and you shiver as you feel his lips press tenderly against your neck, piercing cold against your flesh. Hobie's kisses move up higher towards your jaw, as soft as silk and enough to send your heart thundering in your chest.

“Let me kiss you, angel, please? My pretty, pretty, angel”, he murmurs between kisses, effectively melting your heart and shattering your resolve. You sigh and gaze up at him with dreamy eyes as he pulls back to look down at you properly, one of his hands guiding yours to rest on his chest while the other gently cups your cheek. You can feel the fluttering of his heart beneath your palm and Hobie gives you such a dazzling smile full of warmth and adoration that you swoon. His lips press against yours then, soft and sweet and making your heart soar into the clouds. Your eyes flutter shut and you lean into him more, never able to get enough of him it seems. His pounding heart beneath your fingers makes your brain short circuit and the breathy chuckle he gives against your lips makes you weak in the knees.

“Am I forgiven”, Hobie mumbles against your lips, voice deep and low and like the smoothest of chocolates. Damn him for being so utterly perfect, for making a home for himself in your heart and soul. And when he looks down at you with sparkling golden pools of devotion to you and only you, you're reminded of just how much of a goner you are. You softly nod your head, leaning in for another kiss and melting at the pleased hum that escapes him.

“One of these days, I'll stop giving in to you so easily.” You whisper, which makes him chuckle and adorn you with more affection. Only for you both to yelp at the cold splash of water hitting you both. Eyes wide with disbelief and now dripping wet, you both whip your head towards the direction it had come from before glaring at your twin daughters. Billie and Ramona are quick to shake their heads and point over to a sheepish looking Aiden holding a water balloon in his hands.

“Terror…” Hobie warns as he shakes his head free of water, narrowing his eyes at his son who drops the balloon on the ground and holds up his hands pleadingly.

“Wait, wait! Auntie Ri told me to do it!” Aiden cries while pointing to Riri, who gives him an incredulous look.

“You little snitch!” That was all Hobie needed before he bolted towards them, both Riri and your son screaming and running away from the soaked demon King who was hot on their heels. The sight sends you keeling over with laughter, tears escaping your eyes and chortles leaving your lips as you grip your stomach. You'd never tire of moments like these. Not when you finally have an eternity to make more of them.

[hyperfix-wip]

Webbed Together

Pairing: Hobie Brown x Fem!Reader/ Spider-Punk x Fem!Reader

Word count: 4.9k

Author's Note: When you're still a little hungover and you force yourself to push through writing your new chapter because your brain was suddenly hit with motivation 🫠 I'd like to thank @pinksugarscrub for beta reading and editing the hell out of this chapter for me! Credit goes to @the-kr8tor for their original characters Ramona and Billie. Also, I am not an expert on poker, so if any poker players have any comments about the accuracy of the game itself, please let me know! 🤣

Tags: Parent Trap!AU, Dad!Hobie AU, Twin!AU, Billie and Ramona!AU, Older!Hobie, Mom!Reader, Older!Reader

Chapter 5: Poker Face

<<< Chapter 4 Chapter 6>>>

SLAP!

Five cards smack against the plastic round table, and more groans and murmurs erupt from the crowd around Benny as he eagerly wraps his arms around the pile of bills, coins and other trinkets in the middle of the table.

“Looks like it’s my game again,” he taunts with a snicker while slowly raking the pot towards himself. “I thought for sure you guys were trying to win this round.”

Three older kids sitting on the round table with him only glare at him, one of them tossing their hand on the table with a disgruntled huff and another opens his wallet, instantly deflating at the sight of it being empty.

“ ‘m out.”

“Me too.”

“Damn it, I don’t have any more money either…”

“Oh c’mon!” Benny taunts the kids as they push themselves off their seats and return into the waves of kids surrounding them. “I thought you guys were gonna beat me! What happened to that, huh?”

The crowd surrounding him continues to mumble and shuffle around him, as if wary of being the next victim of his little game. Benny merely rolls his eyes in response and crosses his arms while slumping against the plastic backrest of the bench. “Fine, whatever. I got other people over here who can replace you guys. Any takers?”

“Mind if I take a whack at it?”

The crowd instantly turns to a British girl’s voice ringing in the back, and the sea of kids slowly part in confusion and intrigue while Billie slowly walks through and approaches the roundtable with Annie and Ramona peeking behind her. Billie’s signature cat-like smile curls up on her lips as she flops down on the plastic bench in front of Benny, and Ramona and Annie follow suit as they sit down at the remaining empty spots. Benny’s eyes light up while a cheeky grin of his own curls up on his face.

“Brown! Where’ve you been?” Benny calls out with an obnoxious laugh. “You just up and left during our volleyball game, what gives?”

Billie shrugs in response, but her lazy smile grows slightly strained the more she listens to him. “A mate o’ mine got ‘urt, ‘member? Got hit in the head during the game, and ‘nother mate and I helped him to the infirmary.”

Benny’s face scrunches up in confusion as he picks up the cards off the table and starts to straighten them up into a deck. “You mean that one dork with the trumpet? He really must suck at sports if he couldn’t dodge that, huh?”

Ramona instantly bristles and turns her eyes to Benny, her eyes sharpening into a hard glare. “That dork you’re talking about is still in the infirmary because of you–”

Billie quickly grabs Ramona’s shoulder before she could continue, and Ramona turns her glare to her double’s sympathetic eyes for a moment before quietly relenting and sinking down her seat with an annoyed sulk. Billie then glances back over to Benny, her impish smile faltering into a lopsided one while propping her elbow on the table.

“I’ll admit, Arnie might not look like the sporty type,” Billie replies with a neutral tone despite her carefree smile not reaching her eyes, “but that don’ mean you can hit ‘em and leave a big knot on ‘is head li’ tha’.”

“But you gotta admit, it was kinda hilarious,” Benny snickers while quickly shuffling the cards before his eyes drift back to a disgruntled Ramona. “...y’know, I didn’t know you had a sister, Brown. You got that opposite twin thing going on here–”

“Not sisters,” Both Billie and Ramona cut him off. Benny stares at them in befuddlement before glancing over at an unbothered Annie. She then narrows her eyes at him before turning her nose from him with a huff.

“...okay?” Benny finally shrugs before he starts to pass cards around one by one, slightly unnerved by the three girls giving him the cold shoulder in varying degrees, before all four of them have their hands. “Whatever, I guess. I’m getting kinda bored with five-card, so we’re gonna go with Texas Hold’em. You three okay with that?”

Billie rolls her eyes as she reaches into her pocket and pulls out her beaten up studded wallet and opens it up. “Whatever works, I can play either. Limit or no limit?”

“No limit, but everybody’s only been betting money,” Benny replies with a bored groan while lifting his cards by the corner slightly, a small smirk curling up on his lips before he lets the cards go flat on the table and looks up at Billie.

Benny then glances over at Ramona, who furrows her brows while darting her eyes around the table with a wavering frown. His eyes instantly light up at the flicker of weakness.

“Hey, uh… not-spiky Brown?”

Ramona instantly drops the uncertainty on her face before she looks at him with an irritated deadpan.

“When are you putting in your bet?”

“...what?”

Billie leans towards Ramona’s side and gently taps at the middle of the table. “Just drop half of what I put on the table,” Billie whispers to her double, “And every round we start after you basically put in half of what I put before we start.”

“...oh, like that small blind, big blind thing you and Annie were talking about earlier?”

“Yep, exactly.”

“But how come you’re the one putting in more money?”

“Bloke’s the dealer, and whoever is in the left of him is the small blind, and the one after is the big blind–”

“Okay, wait, hold up–” Benny barks up a laugh of disbelief as Ramona nods along to Billie’s explanation. “You sure you wanna let the newbie play in the game? She’ll probably lose all of her money if she’s not careful…not like I’m gonna stop her though.”

Ramona narrows her eyes at Benny again before she tosses two quarters from her coin pouch and glances down to peek at her hand with a slight frown. “I get the gist of it, like the hand rankings and all. It’s just… I only watched my mom play poker sometimes.”

A wicked gleam shines on Benny’s eyes as the crowd around the players start to boo and laugh, but Billie instantly slams her fist against the plastic table and glares around the crowd until they quiet down to disgruntled groans.

“If you get the basics of it, you should be okay,” Annie reassures Ramona. “Just gotta play a few rounds to get it, y’know?”

“She’ll probably lose all of her money before she finally gets it though,” Benny mutters under his breath with a quiet snicker. Billie is uncharacteristically unbothered by Benny’s snide comments as she clears her throat and glances up from her cards.

“C’mon, girlies,” Billie sighs with a scrunched up nose and a slight pout. “Le’s jus’ start the game. He ain’t worth getting miffed over.”

Annie rolls her eyes with a huff before she tosses a dollar onto the table, starting the first round. “Fine, call. Are we just gonna play until someone wins the whole pot, or is there a set amount of rounds?”

“We keep going until one of us wins the whole pot,” Benny snickers as he tosses two dollars onto the table. Ramona hesitantly glances back down at her hand before sighing and tossing her cards to the middle of the table. Billie rolls her eyes soon after, “Jus’ hurry up ‘n drop the flops.”

Benny flips three cards onto the table��� seven of hearts, six of clubs, four of clubs. “Don’t be like that, Brown. It’s just a game, remember?”

Billie’s eye twitches slightly as she tosses another bill to match Benny’s play. “Games should be fun, Benny. ’s not fun for e’ryone if you’ve been trash-talkin’ the whole time.”

Benny rolls his eyes while Annie clicks her tongue and folds, tossing her cards towards the middle of the table. 

“Why’re you being sensitive, Brown?” he snorts before dropping another two bills onto the table and flipping another card, four of hearts. “It’s not like it’s actually hurting anybody.”

“Somebody did end up getting hurt, though,” Annie grumbles while pushing her glasses up. Billie gently nudges Annie’s foot with her own underneath the table. Annie glances up with a quirked eyebrow, but as soon as Annie meets Billie’s sympathetic smile, Annie hesitates before sighing and crossing her arms against her chest.

Billie’s soft eyes drop to a bored deadpan while she instantly tosses three bills onto the growing pot. “I ain’t bein’ sensitive,” Billie retorts as she pulls out more crumbled bills and dumping out a stream of coins onto the table. “I jus’ don’ like arseholes."

“If you’re gonna call me an asshole, at least say it right,” Benny rolls his eyes as he matches Billie’s bet and flips the last card for the round, eight of spades. “You probably shouldn’t bet so much on the first round.” Benny then flips his hand, revealing a four and a nine of diamonds. His mouth curls up into a smug smirk. “Three of a kind. Not the best hand, but it works out just fine for me.”

Billie only gives a lazy smile and tilts her head before she slowly reveals her own hand.  “Straight– three, four, five, six, seven. Not the best hand, but it got the job done.”

Benny shrugs while Billie gathers the pot for the round. “Not bad, not bad. It’s just the first round, though. We have a long way to go before this game finishes.” 

Benny’s eyes then dart between the disgruntled Annie and the pensive Ramona before adding “Well, it might finish a little faster if it’s only Brown and me playing to win.”

Annie’s jaw instantly clenches at the taunt, and Ramona’s eyes sharpen. A smug grin curls up on Benny’s face once he sees the reactions he wanted.

“C’mon, it’s just for fun,” Benny snickers while quickly passing the next hands. “You guys don’t need to get your panties in a twist.”

Annie’s face pinches up in disgust as she subtly glances at her hand before tossing two dollars and a couple quarters to raise the bet. “Beating you would probably be worth it, with or without you having to do anything the winner says.”

“That’s if you girls can beat me,” Benny scoffs before matching Annie. “I mean, besides Brown, you two would probably back out before we get to higher stakes.”

Ramona rolls her eyes. “Don’t get too cocky now.”

Three new cards get flipped onto the middle of the table– jack of hearts, ten of clubs, four of clubs.

“I only needed one round to know how you guys work,” Benny taunts with a shit-eating grin while he sets the deck of cards down. “You–” he points at Ramona– “are just a newbie, so you’ll get lost the further we play. Redhead on my right–” his finger darts to Annie– “gets annoyed easily, so she’ll probably get triggered into making bigger bets than she’ll bargain for. And Brown?”

Billie tosses a couple more bills and quarters, raising the bet for the pot. Benny only snorts in amusement in response. “She’s a little more aggressive with her play, taking more risks and relying more on luck than anything.”

As soon as Annie knocks twice on the table, Benny tosses some more bills, raising the bet even higher. “But sometimes luck isn’t enough to win.”

Ramona’s face pinches up at the higher bet in hesitation before tossing some bills, and Benny snickers as he flips the next card onto the table– six of spades.

Billie, however, slowly sucks on her teeth out of boredom as she matches Benny’s bet. “I dunno,” Billie shrugs, her nimble fingers tapping on the plastic surface while continuing to stare Benny down, “Dad’s always says I was his lucky poppet. Things jus’ work out for me in th’ end.”

“Oh god,” Benny rolls his eyes as he flips a jack of spades onto the table, “are you that much of a daddy’s girl? That’s such a lame thing your dad would call you–”

SLAM!

All eyes turn to Billie as her fist trembles a bit against the table. Her eyes stare daggers at the boy in front of her and her mouth curls into a scowl. The crowd behind her backs away from the quick outburst.

“Shut yer trap,” Billie nearly snarls at Benny. “My dad's not lame.”

Annie’s eyes widen at her friend before one of her hands reaches out to gently unfurl Billie’s fist. At the same time, Ramona’s own eyes turn cold as she stares down an unapologetic Benny.

Benny holds his hands up in surrender, but a wicked gleam glints in his eye. “Noted. No bringing up dads.”

“You suck, y’know that?” Annie mutters under her breath, flipping her hand of a four of hearts and an eight of diamonds out in the open.

Benny only smirks before he flips his own cards– a ten of hearts and a four of diamonds– and his grin grows even more as Billie clicks her tongue and tosses her cards to the middle. “Don’t hate the player, hate the game–”

A hand quietly cuts him off when it props itself on Benny’s left arm, and he glances up in confusion, only for his eyes to meet Ramona holding up her hand in the air.  One of the cards was a jack of diamonds.

“Three of a kind,” Ramona echoes Benny’s words before tossing her hand down onto the plastic table. “Not the best hand, but it works out just fine for me.”

Benny’s face drops as Ramona gently nudges his arm away from the cash on the table with a straight face before pushing it towards herself, all the while the crowd surrounding the four players murmur in waves.

“Benny lost two rounds in a row?”

“Newbie just basically stole his thunder–”

“Guess karma just bit him in the butt–”

Annie stares straight at Ramona in disbelief while Billie sends a sideways glance to her double with a slight smirk on her lips. “Nice one, Mon-mon…”

A small frown surfaces on Benny’s face for the first time, a flicker of annoyance in his eyes, before he slowly grabs the cards off the table and shuffles them into the deck.

“Beginner’s luck,” he grumbles under his breath while Ramona carefully flattens out some of the crumbled bills in front of her. “We still got the rest of the game here…”

—

The game continues on, the series of rounds quickly drawing more eyes onto the table. Shuffling, dealing, drawing, money betting, cards tossing. First Benny rakes in the pot, then Billie, then Benny, then Annie– the pot keeps shifting back and forth between the players, their money growing and depleting with each play, tension gradually growing on the table with many taunts from Benny and retorts from the girls, each word growing more charged than the last.

The crowd shuffles and grows more invested in the game, each round pulling more spectators than potential players as everyone watches over the four players like vultures. A young boy with a slight bump on his forehead struggles to maneuver himself through the waves of kids, confusion flooding into his eyes before he finally pushes himself into the middle, coming face to face with his three new friends pushing stacks of coins and bills into the middle of the growing pot one by one against the smug lone boy in the game.

Arnold turns his head to a shorter boy looking over Billie’s shoulder, gasping at the growing pot as Billie flicks her wrist and lets a stack of dollar bills flutter to the middle of the table.

“Hey,” Arnold quietly taps the boy’s shoulder with a frown, “what the heck’s going on?”

The boy glances at Arnold with an irritated huff, his eyes briefly darting to the large knot on Arnold’s head, before shaking his head and turning his attention back to the game. “The older guy Benny said that whoever beats him in a game of poker can get whatever they want from him, and these three girls jumped into the game. They lasted way longer than any of the other kids who played him, so right now everybody is just waiting to see who’ll win in the end.”

Arnold’s eyes almost bulge out of his sockets as he looks back at the game, a sense of dread pooling in his stomach, before he frantically shuffles himself and mutters his apologies until he approaches Ramona from behind.

“Ramona!”

Ramona looks over her shoulder with a puzzled furrow to her brows before her eyes widen with shock. “Arnold? What’re you doing here?”

The rest of the players look up from the sudden interruption, Annie glancing up from her hand before doing a double take and Billie giving a brief unbothered smile and wave to Arnold, before a loud snort breaks through the quiet murmurs of the crowd. All three of the girls turn their sharpened glares at the snickering Benny while he points at the bump on Arnold’s head.

“Oh my god, what happened to your head, dude? It looks like something’s gonna pop outta there!”

Benny cackles a little more while the crowd slowly backs away from the three girls glaring daggers at him.

“You did that, you little dipshi–”

“Annie, wait–”

“What? Don’t try to give him a pass, Arnie! That was mean, and you know it!”

“Annie, Benny’s just bein’ an arse–”

“You’re just gonna let this slide, Bills?! He’s been talking crap nonstop the whole game–”

“He’s doin’ tha’ to trip all o’ us up–”

“Gotta be kidding– Ramona, help me out here?”

Ramona continues to send an icy glare at Benny as she crosses her arms against her chest. “He’s gonna keep talking crap no matter what. The only reason we all jumped in in the first place is to beat him and get him to apologize to Arnold.”

A scoff slips through Benny’s lips as his eyes land on Ramona’s. “Try saying that when you quit folding and win some more rounds–”

“Benny,” Billie cuts him off with a curt voice. “How ‘bout you win a couple more rounds agains’ me ‘stead of pickin’ on Mon-mon? ‘M sure you still wanna win back some of the cash you lost.”

Benny’s smug smirk drops into a slight scowl once he turns his attention to the British girl in front of him, his jaw slightly clenched as his hand grabs a handful of his winnings.

“I still have some cash on me.”

“Then you bette’ get ‘em ready, ‘cuz I ain’t leavin’ ‘til I win th’ whole t’ing.”

Sparks crackle in the air as the two stare each other down across the table, and Arnold nervously looks between Ramona and Annie to stop Billie, only for the two other girls to glare at Benny too.

Benny lets out another scoff before a smirk grows on his face. “How about this? Since everybody’s itching to win, how about we make things interesting.”

He then tosses the last of his money into the pot before flipping the last card onto the plastic table top.

“Since everybody’s practically tapped out on their cash, we’ll add something else to the pot. I’m already betting myself doing something for you guys, so you three gotta add something too. And if you guys lose, not only do I take everything, you guys also have to do a punishment that I choose.” All three of the girls hesitate at the new stakes, making Benny snicker with a sly smirk. “Unless you girls are fine with giving up all of your money to me, but you’re already in too deep.”

Billie instantly bristles from Benny’s taunt, her hand itching to curl into a fist again. She knows the little bastard is just trying to trigger them, she knows that, but the idea of him suggesting this, whether a bluff or not, doesn’t sit well in her stomach. Billie gives a sideways glance to Annie, who has the same unsure frown as she glances back at Billie. For a moment, both girls wonder if they should risk it.

A small clatter suddenly breaks through the silence, and everyone turns to a reluctant Ramona as she slowly puts her mp3 player on top of the pot.

“Ramona?” Arnold quickly grabs her shoulders with wide eyes. “What’re you doing? I thought you said your mom gave you that–”

“I-it’s fine,” Ramona quietly reassures him with a slight smile, “it’s just music. I-I can just wait it out until camp’s over…” Despite her calm demeanor, her long fingers anxiously fidget and pick at her cuticles to avoid reaching for the small device back. Ramona’s gapped teeth slowly worries her bottom lip, and a slight ringing slowly creeps up in her ears the longer she looks down at the pot.

Billie instantly notices, her brows furrowing more as she glances up to Ramona struggling not to regret her decision, before letting out a loud sigh and reaching behind her neck. Her hands slowly pull away with an end of a red braided string in each before the rest of the necklace slides out from the hem of her shirt. A black plastic pick with some scratches hangs in the middle before Billie carefully coils it down on top of the pot with a determined face.

“My lucky pick. If Mon-mon’s willing to bet on it, then I should too…”

Ramona stares up at Billie with a flicker of shock and relief, a slight smile curling up on her lips, before glancing over at Annie as she hesitantly puts a small beaded bracelet onto the table.

“Y’know, you guys could’ve put a shoe or something in the pot,” Annie mutters with a sheepish pout. “Didn’t think you guys were gonna go with the dramatic movie moment on me…”

“Eh,” Billie shrugs with a lopsided grin, “ ‘m willin’ to put my quids in for this.”

Arnold continues to stare at his friends with bewilderment, his face pinching up with a worried look, before Ramona gently taps him in the arm with an encouraging smile.

“Don’t worry, you’re our friend. This is the least we could do.”

Arnold stares down at his friend with a flicker of awe and gratitude in his eyes, but a loud scoff instantly breaks the sentimental moment.

“Are we done with the cringey waterworks?” Benny huffs with an unimpressed frown as he crosses his arms. “We still have a game to play.”

All eyes turn to Benny, all three of the girls staring him down with a deadpan.

“Can you not read the room?” Annie rolls her eyes before glancing down at the last set of community cards on the table.

Ten of clubs. Three of hearts. Jack of clubs. Eight of spades. Queen of hearts.

With a deep sigh, Annie quickly flips her hand– eight of hearts and an eight of diamonds.

Billie quietly follows suit with her hand– king of hearts and ace of diamonds– before glancing back up at Benny with a slight smirk. “A three of a kind ‘n a straight. You gotta admit, ‘s a hard matchup, innit? Maybe I’ll have you on your hands and knees in front of everybody while you apologize to poor Arnie or sumt’in’.”

Benny nods along with a slight pout as he stares at their hands on the table. “Wow, Brown, you guys are good…”

Billie’s face falters from the sarcasm in his voice before Benny flips his hand with a flick of a wrist.  A king of hearts and an ace of diamonds.

“But not good enough to beat a flush, huh?”

Benny then looks up at the quiet Ramona as she glances down at her hand with a pensive frown, and a wicked grin curls up on his lips. “What’s wrong, newbie? Is your hand not good enough? Are you too scared to show your cards and admit defeat?”

Ramona looks up at the gloating Benny with a slightly bored stare before looking away and grabbing her mp3 player. Benny’s face drops in confusion before he angrily reaches for her hand and tightly grips it.

“Hey, what’re you doing?! Can’t you see I won–”

“Y’know,” Ramona calmly cuts Benny off, “every time I watched my mom play poker with my uncle, she’d always give me the same advice. She’d tell me to play only a few hands, to only take risks on hands that give me a strong gut feeling.”

Everyone’s eyes are on Ramona, confused mutters and intrigued chatters slowly surrounding the table. Benny snorts as he tries to yank the mp3 player out of her hand.

“Okay, what does your mom have anything to do with this–”

“My mom also told me to always keep my cool and to only bet high when it matters most.”

Ramona slowly flips her cards with her free hand, and waves of gasps as chatters instantly erupt in the crowd. Annie’s eyes almost break through her glasses, Arnold’s jaw drops, and Billie lets out a loud laugh of disbelief as she grabs her necklace back.

“Bloody hell, Mon-mon…”

The last person to look down on Ramona’s hand was Benny, and his face slowly pales once his eyes land on the king of clubs and the ace of clubs.

“I’m not sure how strong a flush is,” Ramona shrugs as she continues to stare at Benny with a small smile, “but I’m pretty sure it’s not as strong as a royal flush, right?” She then pulls her hand back out of his grip before sliding her mp3 player back in her pocket and turning her head to Billie and Annie. “We should probably split the pot between the three of us. I’d feel bad taking your guys' money.”

Ramona then turns back to the stunned Benny before crossing her arms against her chest. “Now, I’m not gonna make you get on your hands and knees in front of everybody–”

“Wha– Mon-mon, why?!”

“But I do want you to apologize to Arnold,” Ramona continues on, ignoring Billie’s protest. “Not only that, but I want you to apologize to everybody you made fun of. The way you talk to people is not cool, and people aren’t going to want to hang out with you if you keep being mean to them.”

Benny slowly lifts his eyes from the winning hand to Ramona, still astounded by the unexpected turn of events, before his face slowly flushes into a deep scowl and he angrily tackles Ramona down to the dirt ground.

“You cheated!” Benny roars at a screaming Ramona, struggling to pin her down while Ramona shoves her hand against his face to get off her. “You cheated! There’s no way you’d get a royal flush–”

“Mon-mon!” Billie yells out before jumping on top of Benny and wrapping her arms around his neck to yank him off. “Arnie! Annie! Get a counselor now!”

The crowd of kids scream and cheer around the fight breaking out in front of their eyes. Arnold hesitates and takes a step forward towards his fighting friends, worry and fear plaguing his eyes, but Annie quickly grabs his arm and tugs him away.

“Arnie, c’mon! We gotta get them help!”

Arnold stumbles behind Annie as she pulls him away, and he looks over his shoulder to the fight with dread in his eyes before relenting and quickly following the short redhead.

More whoops and clamors of ‘fight!’ echo around the three kids, dirt flying and clinging to their clothes the more they wrestle each other. Ramona screams and writhes underneath the stockier Benny, yelping out in pain when his hand grabs a handful of her dark coils and harshly yanks them.

“You cheated! You definitely cheated–”

“I didn’t cheat!” Ramona cries out while tears well up in her eyes from pain. “Get off me! I didn’t cheat!”

“Get off her, you stupid sod!” Billie screams as she kicks against the back of Benny’s legs, and Benny yells out in response before attempting to throw her off his back. Billie wraps her arms around his neck tighter in a vice grip while she throws her head back with as much of her weight as possible to pull him off Ramona.

Ramona cries out more as Benny yanks her hair again before she starts slapping her hands against his arms and tries to kick him off. “Get the hell off me, you asshole!”

Her palms sting with each slap, her scalp pricking from each tug and her eyes flooding with tears, until her hand accidentally slaps Benny in the middle of his face. A scream of pain erupts from Benny, and Billie finally yanks him off and throws him down onto the ground with her. Billie and Benny quickly roll around the dirt, Benny struggling to push her off and Billie refusing to let him near Ramona again, before a piercing whistle breaks through the screams of the crowd.

“WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON HERE?!”

The crows instantly disperses in a bedlam as an elderly woman rushes up to them with Arnie and Annie right behind her. A brief moment of relief flickers in Ramona’s eyes as Billie gets shoved off Benny with an ‘oof’, but that flicker quickly disappears when Benny gets up and runs over to her with tears in his eyes.

“Grandma!” Benny cries out to the counselor, and the rest of the kids’ faces grow pale.

“Grandma?” Ramona echoes with dread as everyone stares at the blubbering Benny hugging his grandmother, and Billie drops her head with a defeated groan.

“Ah shite.”

----

British Phrase of the Chapter:

Quids in - Someone who's "quids in" has invested in an opportunity which is probably going to benefit them massively.

https://www.businessinsider.com/british-slang-that-will-confuse-anybody-who-didnt-grow-up-in-the-uk-2017-11#quids-in-66

[the-kr8tor]

Babies first graffiti 🥹🥹 WONDJSJXJWXQOKSKWD I LOVE THEM SM MY BABIES!!!!!!!! Their clothes look so gorgeous! I bet (ttn) r made them for her girls 🥰🥰🥰 I love their hair and their little earrings ahhhhhhhhh ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Now where did they get that book I wonder 🤔 (it was definitely one of their uncles who gifted it to hobie when they were born and now they found it in his bookshelf 🤣🤣) They're a menace like their dad!! And we love them for it!!

Lil anarchy babies look how cute 🥺🥺🥺🥺

I'm so proud of them 🥺🥺

@the-kr8tor was it worth the wait 😈😈

HOBIE WOULD BE PROUD OF THEM TOO

Look at their lil outfits 🥺 Mona's lil bow

And Billie with paint all over her face 🤦‍♂🤦‍♂

MY BABIES

[the-kr8tor]

Holiday requests??? Katy, you spoil us😩💕💕

Obviously, Hobie. But maybe something like the Hobart family getting ready for a holiday party. It can be a fancy one (just so they get goody bags, lol) or not. Everyone is ready to go and are waiting for R, only for you to come out looking drop-dead gorgeous and Hobie's suddenly all shy and weak kneed as if he just met you all over again🤭💕 I'm a sucker for lovesick father Hobie, what can I say🫣🤭

Take care of yourself, hun💕💕 And have a wonderful Holiday💕💕

Hehehe I love spoiling my lovelies!! Thank you for the request! I hope you have an amazing holiday too! 💕

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader

Word count: 1.5k

Tags: no use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader (except for clothing and brief mention of makeup), Pregnancy talks, Dad AU, dad! Hobie, mom! Reader, Billie and Ramona AU, twin AU, Fluff!

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“Where's mum?” Billie asks for the umpteenth time while Hobie has to fix the glittery bow on her hair for what is probably the tenth time tonight. “Is she wearin’ the earrings we got for her? Why is she takin’ so long?” Her big brown eyes look up at Hobie, cheeks puffed out cutely from being impatient.

“I think so, mac.” He smiles kindly at her. Hobie and the girls wait for you on the couch while blue’s clues play in the background. He rubs Billie's arm, feeling the rough glitter from her sleeve stick to his palm. “And she's still gettin' pretty, we have to be patient, yeah?”

“But she's already pretty.” Mona mumbles from her seat on the lone armchair that she refuses anyone else to sit on even her own twin. Her cheek is squished on the side of the armchair, fully laying down on the cushions as she's small enough to fit in it perfectly. Hobie can't think that one day she won't be able to lie down on it anymore. Her light blue dress shimmers in the warm light of the telly, yawning as she watches her favourite show.

“You're right, she is, cheese.”

“Then why is she takin’ so long!” Billie groans, head tilting back until she hits the sofa cushion. “‘m hungry!”

“Be patient, bee, remember what Mr. Salt said?” Mona stares at her sister, she reminds Hobie of the same look you give him whenever he comes home injured.

Billie sighs, “a patient Paprika is a good Paprika.”

“That's not—” Mona giggles, sitting up and putting her arms on the armrest like a little mob boss. “That’s close, I guess.”

“Maybe Mr. Salt should parent you both instead.” Hobie jokes, making both girls laugh above the sound of Steve singing, ‘we just got a letter.’

“Dad, Mr. Salt is a cartoon! He can't do that!” Billie playfully slaps his well dressed stomach. Even Hobie decided to dress up, lest the host kicks him out of the party.

“Well, maybe Mona should do the parentin’ hm?” He squeezes Billie, hand gesturing for Mona to join in on the cuddle.

“That's silly! I'm six, daddy!” She giggles before slowly making her way down the armchair that you loved so much that you had to bring it to the new house when you and Hobie moved from the houseboat. Mona's little legs dangle before she lands safely on the ground. Scampering towards Hobie with a grin and curly hair bouncing as she moves.

Hobie watches her proudly, his chest already aches from nostalgia back when she could barely reach the floor whenever she sits on the same chair. Ramona cuddles on his other side, chubby cheeks nudging his side as he puts his arm around her.

“Do me a favour, gremlins, stay six for a bit more, yeah?”

“Okay!” Billie agrees, “I don't know what that means, daddy, but okay!”

Hobie chuckles, pressing a loving kiss atop her head even though he had to push away the big ribbon on her hair before pecking her.

“How ‘bout you, Mona?” He whispers towards her, eyes glimmering in the firelight from his sudden heavy emotion. They're growing up too fast.

“Will it make you and mum happy?” She looks up at him, head tilting to the side.

Hibie inhales, then kisses the crown of her head. “Yeah, love.”

“Then okay! I'll do that.” She earns another squeeze.

“Trying to stop their growth again, Hobs?” Your voice suddenly appears from behind, eyes hazy from unshed tears.

Hobie looks over his shoulder, while the twins had to stand up from their seats just to take a look at you. Their gasps make you smile.

“How do I look?” You bashfully show off your outfit that's mirroring both the girls' dresses. There's glitter on your eyelids, but the way your family beams at you shines brighter than any glitter.

“Like a princess!” Billie immediately climbs up on the back of the couch, knowing full well that her dad will catch her by holding onto the back of her dress. Hobie slowly drops her on the floor, lower back aching from the awkward folded position. Her tiny feet bound towards you, the frills on her socks bounce up and down as you catch her leap into your arms. “So pretty!” She oohs and ahhs at your makeup.

“You're wearing the earrings!” Mona shrieks, following what her twin just did by jumping over the sofa with Hobie working overtime in catching both of his girls.

“Careful!” You giggle as you catch her in your other arm. Kneeling down, your dress pools around you, while the girls admire the snow globe earrings they got for you. “The earrings help tie the look together, no?” They happily play with the miniature earrings on each of your ears.

“Maybe we can get your ears pierced just like dad and mom on your birthday!” They gasp on your lap, followed by excited high pitched shrieking. “What do you think, dad?” Hobie's been uncharacteristically quiet. When you look up at him, he's practically throwing heart shapes at you by how he stares at you lovingly. “Hobs? Cat got your tongue?”

Hobie's resting his chin atop the sofa with a lopsided smile on his lips, eyes aglow while the fireplace bathes him in light. In truth, he's still sitting down because he feels that if he stood up he'd drop dead on the floor, life taken by the most beautiful scene in front of him. His heart does somersaults with every breath he takes, he has seen you all dressed up before, and everytime you do, it warrants the same reaction from him. He thinks you're drop dead gorgeous even in your sweats while doing laundry with him, or when you're sweating up a storm while you run after Billie and Mona. He can't kid himself, you've always been gorgeous inside and out.

“You okay, Hobie?” You suddenly worry when he's still awestruck and frozen on the spot. Standing back up on your feet, you hold the girls’ hands while they look at their dad, snickering amongst themselves. They might be young, but they're no stranger to their dad's lovestruck gaze. “Can you two be an angel and put on your shoes and coats by yourselves?” Squeezing their hands, they grin at you, nodding wildly. You squeeze their hands, “okay, wait for mom and dad by the door?”

“Yep!” They're already running off, probably excited about uncle James' exclusive fancy party.

You make your way towards Hobie, who's still glued on the back of the couch as he follows you with his soft eyes. “You good? Or do you need to be resuscitated?”

His palms are incredibly sweaty, as if he's back in his high school days when he was still pining after you, his best friend. “I heard mouth to mouth works best.”

Chuckling, you reach over to the back of his neck to massage him. The back of the sofa acts as a wall between you and Hobie, but that won't stop the two of you. He answers back with his own affection, pulling you closer with his palm splayed over the small of your back, hugging you in a way whilst he nuzzles your stomach with his nose.

“I got you good didn't I?” You whisper to him, “I used the perfume you got me, what do you think?”

He sniffs, looking up at you with the gentlest eyes. “Heavenly. Is what I would say if the girls were in the room but they're not so…” his fingers pinch your waist. “...You look bloody fit, love, smell like it too. Enough for me to pounce on you.”

You laugh, the sound reverberating down to your stomach. He finds it contagious, mirroring your grin as you cup both his cheeks fondly, feeling how warm his cheeks have been. “You don't look too bad yourself Mr. Brown.” You unabashedly ogle him, finding how the vest perfectly cinces his waist, and how the first two buttons from his dress shirt has your heart pounding. “And that's exactly how we got baby number three right now.” Your whispered words have him giddy, teeth biting down on his lip to tamp down another giggle.

“I almost told them, this is torture, lovie. I can't keep lyin’ to my girls.” Hobie holds you close, knuckles rubbing gently against your stomach. You're not showing just yet, but you can already feel the bundle growing with every week that passes.

“After the holidays, I promise. I just want them to enjoy it before Hobie Jr comes along.” Leaning down, you press a chaste kiss on his smile; but it's affectionate enough to have him sighing and chasing your lips for more. Moving away, your eyes open to Hobie's besotted gaze. “Thank you for being patient.” He hums, perfectly content in your arms. You wipe away a stray glitter clinging on the tip of his nose. “You still got a surprise present from me to open later by the way.” You coyly say.

“I’ve already got the best present right here.” With a smile, he gently pulls you down for another kiss.

[hyperfix-wip]

Webbed Together

Pairing: Hobie Brown x Fem!Reader/ Spider-Punk x Fem!Reader

Word count: 3k

Author's Note: I HAVE FINALLY GOT THIS CHAPTER DONE!!! 😭 I'd like to thank @pinksugarscrub for being so patient with me and for beta reading for me! Credit goes to @the-kr8tor for their original characters Ramona and Billie.

Tags: Parent Trap!AU, Dad!Hobie AU, Twin!AU, Billie and Ramona!AU, Older!Hobie, Mom!Reader, Older!Reader

Chapter 4: Stand Up

<<< Chapter 3 Chapter 5>>>

Rubber soles slap against dirt as Annie sprints towards the infirmary. Fiery short locks whip against the momentum the faster she runs, thick frames bouncing against the bridge of her nose and sweat building up on her forehead.

The moment Annie heard that Billie went to the infirmary after her private clarinet lesson, she ran straight out their shared cabin and across the campgrounds to the infirmary, dodging any unsuspecting campers and counselors along the way. Her heart pounds against her ribcage as her feet propel her faster, her mind riddled with worry for her friend.

Annie’s feet then skids across the dirt, small gravel and dust flying everywhere, before she runs into the infirmary. Weaving around the bewildered elderly nurse through the doorway, she instantly spots a mane of dark curls in the corner of her eye, where before her is a familiar figure gently bobbing her head with an mp3 player in her hand with a boy lying in the infirmary bed.

“Billie!”

Annie storms into the room and grabs the girl from her chair, oblivious to the startled boy in the bed while standing on her tiptoes and shaking the tall girl by the shoulders.

“Billie, what the heck happened?!” Annie yells, her hands clamped onto skinny shoulders while she jostles the girl back and forth. “Cindy told me you went over here after playing volleyball with Benny and his friends! Did he hit you in the head or something? Do you have a concussion or–”

Annie continues to jabber on with her interrogation while shaking the poor girl, not noticing the lack of piercings on her ears nor the lack of punk flair in her clothes.

“But not only are you fine, but you’re just chilling here listening to music with a boy!” Annie huffs with her cheeks puffed out and her brows furrowed. “When the heck did that happen?! Who is he, and when were you planning on telling me?! What the heck is going–”

“Uh, Annie?”

Annie instantly freezes at the familiar British accent behind her. Her hands still clutching onto the girl’s shoulders, she slowly looks over her shoulder to see Billie standing under the doorway, staring at her with a confused tilt to the head. “What are you doing?...”

Annie’s eyes nearly break through her glasses when she sees her friend before turning her attention back to the disoriented Ramona, who quietly groans while her head lolls around from the sudden outburst from the shorter redhead.

A long silence lingers in the room as Annie looks back and forth between the two girls, the wave of disbelief washing over her face until–

“...WHO THE HELL IS THIS?!”

—

Annie’s face is frozen in a perplexed frown as she stares at the sight in front of her, ignoring the wary and injured Arnold as she sits on the edge of his bed.

Two Billies– or Billie and Ramona, as Billie reminds Annie. One in her familiar punk band-tee and with her cat-like smile, and the other smiling sheepishly at her in a white, cherry-decorated sweater. The sight of Annie’s perplexed stare elicits a snicker from Billie before she tries to speak.

“Oh c’mon, Annie–”

“Shut up.”

Billie presses her lips together and holds her hands up in surrender, but she struggles to stifle her snickers as Annie shoots a sharp glare at her. The latter then turns to Ramona, who flinches from the intense scrutiny of the redhead. Despite having more than half a foot on her, Ramona is instantly intimidated by the short redhead.

“...so you two don’t know each other?”

Ramona quickly shakes her head no.

“And you barely met each other when your friend–” Annie points her thumb over to the flitty Arnold– “got hit in the head by a volleyball?”

A quick shake yes.

“And all of this is just a coincidence for you guys?”

Another quick nod.

Annie stares at the shrinking Ramona, as if studying a new specimen in a science experiment, before she sighs in resignation. “Okay, I guess.”

“ ‘m sorry– what? Jus’ like ‘at?” 

Billie drops her smirk and squawks in indignation as her eyes narrow at her friend, her British accent briefly growing stronger. “You weren’t like ‘is when I told you!”

Annie instantly glares at Billie, her face scrunching up into a demon-like scowl as she stands up from poor Arnold’s bed. “Because she’s not laughing her ass off about it, unlike how you told me! I mean, wouldn’t you be freaking out about seeing somebody else with your face? Actually– why aren’t you freaking out more?!”

Arnold meekly backs away as much as he could against the headboard from the quick temper of the redhead, and Ramona looks between the two friends with worry, but Billie just barks up a carefree laugh before pulling Annie into a bear hug.

“Oh c’mon now, Annie! No need to throw a fit ‘bout ‘is,” Billie grins as she rocks Annie side-to-side, with the redhead scrambling but failing to get out of her embrace like an annoyed tabby cat. “Sure, ’s a little weird seeing someone looking like me if I was in those cheesy clothing ads–”

“Hey–”

“But we can’t just lose our marbles over it like a bunch of ninnies,” Billie continues with a goodhearted wave of a hand to Ramona. “ ‘sides, ‘s a small world! My dad always says to expect the unexpected and take things in stride–”

Annie finally yanks herself away from Billie’s grasp with a gasp, her glasses askew and her hair in a ruffled mess, before her face scrunches up into an annoyed glare. “I don’t think this is what your dad had in mind when he said that–”

“Either way, we’ on it like a car bonnet,” Billie reassures Annie with a cheeky grin. “We already went through the whole freakout session: pinching each other, yanking our hairs, waiting for the whole world to end, the whole nine yards–”

“With two of the three done one-sidedly–”

Billie playfully pouts at Ramona’s retort, who gives a deadpan in return. 

A quiet cough interrupts the three-way conversation, and all three turn to the forgotten boy in the room with a mix of exasperation (Annie), confusion (Ramona), and amusement (Billie). Arnold flushes sheepishly at their full attention as he pulls the covers over his body.

“C-can one of you g-guys get me– get me an icepack?...”

Ramona’s eyes soften as she crosses the room for the mini refrigerator to grab one, meanwhile Annie looks over at him with a sheepish smile. “Sorry about that,” Annie adjusts herself on the edge of the bed to face Arnold. “You feeling okay, though? I heard from a lot of kids that Benny has a strong arm.”

Arnold shrugs just as Ramona approaches him with a Ziplock full of ice, which he gratefully takes from her before putting it on his forehead. “I think so. The nurse told me I don’t have a concussion, but the swelling will stay for a few days–”

“That guy was kinda being a jerk, though,” Ramona huffs out, her face scrunched up into a slight frown. “He didn’t even say sorry to Arnold or anything, just laughed about it.” Ramona then turns to Billie with her brows furrowed even more. “Can’t you talk to Benny or something? You’re his friend, aren’t you–”

“Now hang on, he ain’t my mate,” Billie holds her hands up in surrender, her cheeky grin dropping to a more solemn frown. “I was only there with him because I was on free time, ‘n I didn’t have anything else to do. Barely met the bloke today, but he was bein’ an arse the whole time we were playing. Thought everyone else was gonna tell him off, but they were actin’ like his lackeys or somethin’.”

Billie then crosses her arms and scrunches up her nose in annoyance. “By the time poor Arnie over here–”

“Arnie?”

“Yes, you, Arnie– anyway, by the time Arnie got hit in the head, I was already sick of being around those prats, so I just legged it with you guys.”

As Billie finishes, Ramona crosses her arms against her chest with a frustrated huff, her forehead wrinkling up while her face curls up into a deeper frown. “Still, someone has to tell him off. He can’t just do that and then laugh the whole thing off.”

“Yeah, that’s kind of an asshole move,” Annie adds on. “And the rest of the kids with him are no better, laughing it off with him instead of checking up on Arnie– it’s okay to call you Arnie, right?”

“I–”

“Anyway,” Annie cuts off the confused Arnold, “Benny shouldn’t get away with that. Did you guys talk to a counselor about this at least?”

“I tried earlier,” Ramona grumbles, her face pinching up into a frustrated frown, “but for some reason the counselors won’t listen. Like as soon as I say Benny’s name, they either brush me off or look like they just saw a monster and just run off…”

“Maybe he’s some rich trust fund kid, like in those old cheesy teen movies my Uncle James watches,” Billie mutters under her breath with a crinkle to her nose, now sitting down on a chair beside the infirmary bed while absently fidgeting with a small B-shaped charm on her chain bracelet. “His parents pro’lly donated a lot of money or sumthin’ to the camp, so the counselors look the other way when he causes trouble.” When her input is only met with silence, she glances up to the rest of the group staring at her with confusion and disbelief.

“... ‘m just sayin’, that could be it.”

Ramona only sighs before she turns back to the rest of the group. “Well either way, the counselors are no help, and Benny doesn’t seem like he’s sorry about it–”

“Maybe we should just drop it,” Arnold mumbles out as he pulls the makeshift ice pack from his forehead with a defeated face. “What if we make things worse–”

“Yeah, no, not an option, Artie,” Billie interrupts before she pushes herself up from her seat and rests her hands on his shoulders. “If you let anyone like Benny hurt ya and get away with it, then he gon’ keep doin’ it to ya. He gon’ t’ink it’s okay to take a piss at ya, slag off at ya–”

“I don’t like how either of those sound–”

“He gon’ keep bullying ya if ya don’ stand up fo’ yaself,” Billie shuts Arnold down with a stern frown. “Tha’s not sumthin’ ya should put up wit’ the whole time ya here. And not only he gon’ do it to ya, but he gon’ do it to other kids too at some point. And before he gon’ reach that point, we gotta nip that in the bud ‘n make sure that don’ happen.”

Arnold hesitantly stares up at Billie before turning to Ramona, who only shrugs in response. “I mean, Billie does have a point. It’ll just get worse if you don’t say anything…”

She then sits on the other side of the bed and gently bumps her shoulder against his, the corners of her lips quirking up into a small smile. “But you got us to help you. You don’t have to deal with Benny alone.”

Arnold glances between the two girls in front of him with uncertainty before darting his eyes down to his hands clutching onto the ice-filled ziplock bag. “Can one of you guys take a step back please? It’s still a little weird for me to see the two of you together…”

Billie’s eyes narrow as her face reverts to an annoyed deadpan, but she lets go of Arnold’s shoulders and steps back with her hands up. “Just know that you’re avoidin’ the subject, mate–”

“Billie–”

“ ‘m just sayin’, Mon-mon–”

“I’m sorry– Mon-mon?”

“Okay, you two,” Annie cuts in with a huff, “we’re losing track of what the actual issue is. We all want Benny to not act like an asshole and apologize to Arnie, but apparently he has some Regina George power over people here. How are we gonna deal with that?”

Everyone in the room grows silent for a moment, the sounds of children talking outside echoing into the infirmary room until–

“We could all go up to him and give him a piece of our minds–”

“I don’t think jumping him would do Arnie any good, Billie–”

“We’re not gon’ jump him!” Billie denies with an offended scowl as she narrows her eyes at Annie. “We’re jus’ gon’ make it known tha’ Arnie was miffed off and ain’t gon’ take any more of his crap–”

“Wait, I just said I don’t want to make things worse–”

“Letting him get away with it will make it worse, Arnold–”

“But–”

“C’mon, Arnie,” Billie groans as she flops down across the bed, making sure not to land on Arnold’s legs, “ya can’t just let Benny do tha’ ta ya ‘n then laugh at ya face. Ya gotta do sumthin’ to stop it from happenin’ again. Personally, I’d–”

A loud knock suddenly echoes in the room, and all four of the kids look over to the doorway, where an elderly woman with a white lab coat hobbles inside with her cane tapping along the tile flooring.

“Now, now, kiddies, you shouldn’t be crowding the poor boy like this,” the elderly nurse tuts at the girls as she slowly approaches Arnold, making all three of them get off the bed while the nurse gently presses her fingertips against the bump on Arnold’s head. “He may be fine in the head, but he still needs to rest and not get too excited while the swelling goes down. You girls should run off to your activities in the meantime.”

Billie’s face and shoulders drop at the nurse’s words. “But–”

A hand gently grasps on Billie’s shoulder, and she looks over to a sympathetic Ramona before she looks over to the nurse with an apologetic smile. “We’re sorry, ma’am. We’ll be on our way.”

Ramona then glances over to Arnold, concern and reluctance lingering in her eyes. “Get better soon, okay Arnold? Just meet up with us if you get cleared later.”

She then gently pushes a disgruntled Billie, who still tries to go back to talk to Arnold in vain, to the door while Annie hesitantly follows behind with a sheepish wave to him. “We’ll come back with some snacks or something, Arnie!” Annie calls out before she closes the door behind them.

—

“What the bloody hell, you two?!” Billie huffs out as she stomps out of the infirmary and onto the campgrounds, with a weary Ramona and a distracted Annie– who zips up her fanny pack and opens a granola bar– following her. “Why’d ya pull me outta there?! We’re not done talkin’ ‘bout this wit’ ‘im–”

“Calm down, Billie,” Ramona cuts her off with a sigh, scuffing her converses against the gravel. “Arnold’s still hurt, and if the nurse didn’t come in, we would’ve overwhelmed him too much. Besides, even if we did get Arnold to agree, we don’t know what could happen if we all went up to Benny and confronted him about it. That’ll just be too much stress for Arnold to deal with.”

“Yeah, but–”

Annie suddenly pops up by Billie’s side and shoves the granola bar into her mouth, effectively silencing the vexed punk girl as she drops her shoulders and reluctantly eats it with a grumble.

“And even if we did confront him, it just sounds like he and his goons will just brush us off,” Annie sighs with her arms crossing against her chest. “We’d probably have to figure out a way to get him to listen…”

Billie huffs out through her nose in annoyance as she begins to walk off and gobble up the granola bar, having the two girls follow her until they are side by side. “I’d personally like ta throw a ball at his head, see how he likes it.”

“Violence isn’t the answer, Bills–”

“Neither is sittin’ back and letting him do whatev’a he wants–”

As both girls continue to bicker, Ramona glances over to the side and spots a crowd of kids gathering at one of the benches near the boys’ cabins, her feet slowing down into a stop as she stares at the area with curiosity. Along the outskirts of the crowds Ramona’s eyes drift down to some of the kids’ hands– wallets, handfuls of bills, tied-up filled socks– and she slowly separates from Billie and Annie as she approaches the buzzing flock in front of her. The closer she gets to the cabin area, the clearer she hears the murmurings and familiar grating laughter from before. Once she finally joins the stragglers outside the crowd, she can easily see over the numerous kids clamoring to the center, where she spots Benny cackling and throwing a hand of five cards down the bench and shoveling a pile of bills and coins to himself to the groaning dismay of the people sitting on the table with him.

Ramona tilts her head to the side in confusion before turning to a short boy hopping next to her as he tries to peek over a taller kid’s shoulders.

“Uh, hey,” Ramona gently taps on the shorter kid’s shoulder, briefly stealing his attention away from the card game. “What’s going on here?”

The disgruntled boy strains his neck up to stare at her wide-eyed, briefly distracted by the tall girl in front of him, before shaking his head and struggling to peek over again. “There’s this older kid who’s playing a poker game tournament, and he said that whoever beats him in a game of poker can get whatever they want from him.”

A few kids start to make their way out of the crowd with disappointment painted on their faces while the mass of kids start to clamor closer to replace any empty spots in the middle. “So far none of the boys won against him yet,” the kid continues, “but the older kid Benny said anyone who thinks they can beat him can join in–”

“Oh, really?”

Ramona jolts up in surprise and turns her head to the side, only to see Billie draping her arm over her shoulder. A wickedly mischievous glint shines in the punk girl’s eyes while a Cheshire Cat-like grin curls up on her lips, sending a dreadful chill down Ramona’s spine.

“Anyone can play?”

----

British Phrase of the Chapter:

On it like a car bonnet - can be used by someone who thinks they are in control of a situation

Legged it - made a run for it

Take a piss - be sarcastic to or mock

Slag off - verbally make fun of someone

Miffed - confused or annoyed

References:

https://www.stgeorges.co.uk/23-typical-british-expressions-you-must-learn-to-understand-the-brits/

https://www.oxfordinternationalenglish.com/dictionary-of-british-slang/

https://tandem.net/blog/british-slang-words

[the-kr8tor]

👀🤣 may I request a Christmas fic where one/both the twins see R kissing Santa Claus (but it’s actually Hobie dressed as him) and they start an all out war against Santa? Can’t stop laughing my ass off from this idea

- 😅 (@hyperfix-wip )

Hehehe thank you for the cutest prompt!! I've always wanted to write this trope 😘❤️❤️❤️

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader

Word count: 2k

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, Dad! Hobie, mom! Reader, Billie and Ramona AU, twin AU, cw food mentions, fluff!

Navigation

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Billie wakes up with a start, heart pounding in her ears from the sudden wake up call. “What—?!” Her mouth is covered by a familiar hand, silencing her yell. “Mmhm?!” Eyes wide, she hones in on her twin’s face in the dark of their shared room. Save for the light flooding inside from the cracked open door, and their Spider-Man night light, it's pitch black.

“It's me!” Ramona whisper yells, front tooth still missing after she lost it in the playground. “Someone's downstairs. I think it's him!” Her eyes shine with excitement, curls bobbing up and down as she tries to contain her giddiness.

Billie yanks her sister's hand away, frowning at her from the sudden intrusion. “I was having a good dream, Mon.” Her look reminds Mona of her dad's exact expression when he has to mow the lawn again.

Mona ignores her sister's annoyance, “didn't you hear what I said? Santa's ‘ere! At our house!” She whisper yells again, this time loud enough for whoever's downstairs to pause their movements. Her eyes widened, hands covering her mouth to tamp down her excitement. “We should stay quiet—”

“Santa's ‘ere!” Billie is quieted once again by Mona's hands.

After waiting for a minute, the girls slowly and silently go outside of their room, matching holiday socks softly walking across the polished floorboards. Their pajamas are also on theme, with Mona opting for a pink sugar plum fairy matching set, and Billie wearing the classic Santa Clause set. Both that you've lovingly made for them. They're clearly excited, especially when it comes to the big bearded man in red. Billie more especially, after you and Hobie brought them to a local mall to see Santa and for them to give them their wishlist, she's been raving about wanting to stay up to catch him in the act. But after watching home alone and having a belly full of warm milk, she went out like a light. Mona on the other hand wants to see him eat the cookies you two prepared for Santa. It's her favourite, chocolate chips with marshmallows. She's hoping that the big man would like it, especially that she gave him the batch from her personal stash.

As they walk out of the hallway and into the floors of the second floor landing, they start to crawl once they see shadows dance along the walls of the living room. The tree that the four of you lovingly put up and decorated are twinkling with the holiday lights, reds, greens and yellows blinking in and out of the room.

“Do you think they'll like it?” They hear your familiar voice, whispering downstairs.

The girls make it to the stairs that overlook the living room, they make themselves smaller by lying prone on the cold floor, tiny hands grasping at the bannisters. Their eyes widen at the sight of who you are talking to.

Right next to you is the man of the hour himself, dressed in red with a giant sack of presents right next to him. He's taller than they've expected, and slimmer. Maybe Santa's cutting back on the cookies.

Billie grabs Mona's shoulder, shaking her excitedly. They wordlessly communicate through looks, based on their happy expressions, they feel like the luckiest kids in the world. They continue to watch Santa work his magic as he places wrapped presents underneath the tree with their names written on them.

“I know they'll love ‘em. ‘sides, Mona's been askin’ for it since July.” Santa replies to you, brown eyes shining in the string lights. His eyes seem to smile at you sitting in the corner of the room, hand occupied with a warm cup of eggnog. The bottom half of Santa's face is obscured by his big white beard, but he's clearly smiling softly at you. “And Bee always wanted that moon lamp ever since she saw Gwen's.”

Beaming at jolly Nick, you leave your cup on the coffee table to walk over to him. “I know, but what if they suddenly don't want those anymore.”

Santa stretches his hand out to you, beckoning you closer as he abandons the sack of presents on the floor. “Love,” love? The girls look at eachother with furrowed brows. Only their dad calls you that, and maybe occasionally that one shop owner downtown that you always buy fabrics from. “Y’know the girls would still be happy even if we gave them a potato each.”

You come to his side without saying anything about the close proximity to the actual Santa. The girls narrow their eyes at Santa's glove hand splayed across the small of your back, thumb rubbing gently across your soft pajama shirt. Only their dad gets to hold you like that.

Chuckling, you move to half hug him, arm wrapped around his back while you place your chin atop the soft red jacket. “Why a potato?”

“Because they go wild for chips.” He looks at you through gentle eyes, nudging his forehead on top of your own, the faux fur of his hat is soft against your skin.

“That's true, maybe we should've gotten them a whole sack of potatoes instead.” Your grin has the girls worried, especially when you move closer to him that the girls would know that it would have their dad burst into tears if they ever saw the scene in front of him.

“That's why ‘m santa, lovie.”

“Mm-hmm,” now you fully embrace him. The girls share a heavy look. “Why are you in full get up again? They won't be able to see you in this, not while they're snoring away all the cookies they had.”

“I know,” he shrugs, “what if they wake up, it'll be a nice memory for ‘em.” His arm squeezes you, hand dangerously close to your behind. The twins are both pissed, standing up from their place atop the stairs. “Or, ‘m all dressed up for you, love.” Santa winks at you, and you giggle in his arms. “Give big red a kiss, yeah?” As he leans in, the twins run downstairs swiftly, yelling and screaming at him to let their mum go.

“What— girls!” You move away, arms trying to block their attacks from hitting Santa.

“Not our mum!” Billie makes it to him first, clinging herself on his leg, trying to bite him through his red pants.

“We trusted you, Santa!” Mona leaps to punch at his stomach, earning a pained groan from the bearded man.

“Mona, no!” You grab her by the armpits as she continues to flail around, trying to get another hit. Good thing you’ve gotten to her before she aimed at his crotch. “Baby, no, that's—!” You contemplate telling them the truth, but Hobie's subtle head shake has you clamping down and embracing Mona.

“Ow, fuc–fudge!” Hobie hops around the room, trying to wiggle free of Billie, who's still clutching at his leg. “Billie, stop!” The one time that his spidey senses failed him.

“I don't care if ‘m on the naughty list! You tried to kiss our mum!” She chomps down on his leg, and he yelps when her baby teeth sink into the fabric and into his leg.

Hobie has no choice but to grab Billie the same way you did with Mona. He holds her in front of him, an arm's length away, still trying to take a chunk out of him. He feels like he ruined the magic of Santa for them. Not to mention the song.

“Stop–!” Hobie holds out his hand to her to tell her that he means no harm, but she tries to bite at his finger. “Billie—!”

“Daddy!” Ramona screams out, voice echoing and rumbling the house. “Daddy, there's an– an impruder!”

You would've chuckled at her fumbled pronunciation of intruder and told her the right way to say it, but when she's on the verge of tears; the both of them are, you have to think of a solution.

“Daddy!” Billie joins in, now fully sobbing. “H–He kissed mummy!”

“I haven't! Not yet!” Hobie tries to defend himself, or Santa for that matter. But it makes the whole thing so much worse when Billie wiggles herself out of his grasp to run towards yours and Hobie's bedroom while crying for him. “Shi—!”

You meet with his eyes while embracing a crying Mona. Mouthing a ‘Go!’ He immediately knows what you're up to. Your synergy levels with him are off the charts.

He leaves through the window, snow crunching underneath him and almost freezing him in the spot. He slowly rips off the Santa outfit one by one whilst he makes his way towards the back of the house. Shedding the beard and tossing it haphazardly in the backyard, he crawls on the wall, finally making it to the bedroom window just as when Billie opens the door with a loud creak.

Feigning naiveté, he acts shocked at her weeping as he opens his arms to her. “What happened?” She sobs on his sleep shirt, drenching it with tears. As Hobie pats her back, he realises that he's still wearing the gloves which he promptly throws away and under the bed before she could see it. “C’mon, mac, tell dad.” He cups her wet cheeks, trying to calm his little girl down.

“I saw mummy kissing Santa Claus!”

Hearing Mona's cry in the doorway with you carrying her, he knows that you two have a long night ahead of you.

—

“Are you sure you want to change pajamas, Billie? You said it's your favourite. The red suits you—” You try to placate her with a plate of chocolate pancakes.

“Yes.” She says so surely with her arms crossed over her chest, still fuming. “I hate Santa.”

Hobie's sitting right next to Mona, hand rubbing along her back whilst she stares angrily at the empty plate of cookies she left for Santa sitting on the counter. “Me too.” She huffs, stabbing her pancakes with a fork.

You share a look with Hobie, hoping that he has any idea how to calm them down. Hugging Billie seems to tamp down her anger, but she still looks at you with furrowed brows after you've apologized profusely.

“Why did you kiss, Santa?” She asked a few hours ago, stomping her little foot down on your bedroom floor, while her sister followed her lead.

“I didn't!” You stared at Hobie right next to you on the bed, looking like he's about to burst into laughter but is keeping it in. “And I wasn't gonna!”

After that whole ordeal, they seem to simmer down to a silent anger that still reverberates through the house. Maybe opening the presents earlier would make them forget it and make them smile.

“We should make signs, Bee! Like what dad makes so Santa knows not to come back ‘ere!” Mona lights up, you finally got a smile out of her.

“That's brilliant!” Hobie plays along, and Billie agrees with rapid nodding that you had to stop with your hand on her forehead before she breaks something. “I'll get my supplies, you two go finish your pancakes, yeah?” Just as he says it, they scarf down the pancakes, prompting Hobie to grab your hand and speed walk away from the kitchen.

Once the two of you are out of earshot and their sights, he corners you against a wall, hands cradling your cheeks, and sighing as he relaxes atop you.

You laugh against his hair, pressing lazy kisses on his hairline. “Don't forget to grab the outfit outside, Hobie. I made that to tailor you and you only.”

He lifts his head up from your chest, cheeks puffed out from sleepiness. Blowing out air, you giggle at him as he flutters your lashes. “I know, love.” His eyes roam all over your face, looking at every curve and dip until he stops at your lips. “I still haven't gotten my answer.”

“Or what? You'll put me on the naughty list?”

Hobie leans closer, lips brushing along your waiting lips. “Lovie, you're on my list every year.”

“I hope I'm the only one on it.” You say, wordlessly inviting him for a kiss by pecking his jaw softly.

“You and you only.” With a chuckle atop your lips, he kisses you under the mistletoe he subtly put up with the sole purpose of kissing you underneath it.

[the-kr8tor]

AHHHHHHH I CAN TELL THAT YOU HAD SO MUCH FUN WRITING THIS ONE!!! So freaking good!!!!!!! 👏❤️❤️

The first part had me on the edge of my seat! R is so cool!! She's like the grim reaper in a way

Wodmksmxsk baby neddy on the way!! Lol at R telling serenity not to worry Ned so much and I bet she was also doing that while pregnant with the kids. Hobie was worrying abt her 24/7

I love the details you added that we talked abt! Like the birthstones in his hair and the twins' powers!!!

The kids being absolute menaces 😂😂

Hobie unabashedly asking for smooches in front of everyone 🤣🤣🤣

Lmaoooo they deserved that splash of water or they would've been smooching right there and then!

A Sure Thing

Pairing: Hobie Brown x Reader/ Demon! Hobie x Angel! Reader

Word Count: 5.4k

Tags: fluff, family time, fighting (just sparring), cursing, badass R(in a sense), title based off of Sure Thing by Miguel, teenage! Billie & Ramona, lovesick hobie, lovesick r, (your friends being disgustingly cute), R is AFAB, no physical description of R (besides clothing), nephalem! children

Summary: You come home to find Hobie and Ramona sparring, because of course they would be.

A/N: So... suprise? Another part to the au, I guess😭🤚 Along the lines of an epilogue. Billie, Ramona, and third child belong to @the-kr8tor 💕💕 I just came up with the son's name.

Part 1 <<< Part 5

Sweat beads at his brow, his chest heaving as he reaches over his desk for his phone. A scowl on his face when he can't quite seem to grab the blasted thing, breath growing heavier the more seconds that tick by. Where was his good for nothing secretary when he needed her?

“The stupid bitch”, the man spits as he loosens his tie, sweat dampening his crisp black suit. He blinks as his vision suddenly swims, colors bleeding together into a blurry mass of light. The man gasps, hair slipping into his eyes and chest aching. The room seems to tilt on its axis and he feels hot, too hot, too cramped. He wants to peel his skin, scratch the itch that has settled on his bones.

Then, like magic, the sensations are gone. Like water has doused the flames. The ache in his chest still lingers and with a shaky hand, he pushes back his hair, gaze stuck on the ceiling. When had he looked up? And had the lights always been off? Shaking his head free of the thought, the man wipes the sweat from his brow. That had been… strange. Perhaps he should go to the hospital, especially since it felt like his legs were glued to the floor, his butt melded into the luxurious office chair. Blinking slowly, he lets his eyes drift back down towards the door of his office, only to startle at the woman standing in front of him. Eyes skimming the figure before him, he sneers and scrunches his nose up in disgust.

“What the hell are you doing here? Security knows better than to let filth in here!” The man barks angrily, lifting his hand up to shoo the woman towards the door. Only to feel a sharp pain overcome his entire body at the motion, like needles pricking his skin and alighting his nerves. His eyes flutter before he fixes his glare at the sound of soft laughter.

“Security couldn't stop me if they tried, Mr. George Barnaby Miller”, you say softly with a chuckle, fiddling with a loose strand of fabric on your jacket. You sweep your gaze over to the stocky man behind the grand desk, movements calm and almost carefree as you slowly saunter closer towards him. A haughty man on his throne. You scoff and shake your head as an amused smile flits across your face. Where oh where have you seen that before…? Miller furrows his eyebrows at you, scowl painted on his thin lips.

“You know my name…? Never mind that”, the man huffs, hands shaky as he pulls at his collar. He clears his throat and taps a finger on his desk, demanding your attention. And with amusement sparkling in your eyes, you give it to him. “Take me to a hospital, stat. Get me there fast enough and I'll make it worth your while. Also, you'll address me as Mr. Miller, brat.”

“Hm. How about… no?” Miller narrows his eyes at your words, fire lurking beneath the depths and threatening to burn you. You aren't fazed by the flames.

“No…? You don't get to tell me no, you useless wretch. Get me there at once!”

“Why would I bring an already dead man to the hospital”, you question with a laugh, snorting at the blank look he gives you. Disbelief colors his gaze and he sneers, shaking his head and pounding a fist on the desk. It doesn't rattle, which seems to get his attention. The air is almost stale, like time has all but ceased at this moment. The man swallows a lump that forms in his throat before giving a haughty smirk, leaning back in his chair.

“Threatening me will do you no good here. Do you even know who I am, trash?”

“I do, actually! Born March 26th, 1925, father died when you were young. Hm, let me just…” With a flick of your wrist, tiny glittering gray clouds materialize into existence, littering the air around the two of you. They swirl and shine and flicker, until a sudden flash of bright light reveals the moving pictures hidden within. You can hear Miller's breath hitch at the sight, see as a hint of trepidation begins to flicker in his eyes. A smile on your lips, you stuff your hands in the pockets of your jacket and sit up top the very edge of his desk. Before he can protest, you jerk your head towards a specific gray cloud.

“Pretty, isn't it? Know what these are, Miller? They're memories. Moments in time, your time.” You mumble as you both peer at a shimmering gray cloud. The moving image inside shows a young boy cackling as he steals from poor beggars on the street, spitting in their faces before running off. The image flickers before showing the boy slapping and demanding money from a tired looking woman. She hands the boy cash with tears in her eyes

“You've always liked money and shiny things. Didn't seem to care who you were taking it from, just as long as it ended in your pockets.” You mused as you idly scratched at your neck, noting how the man behind you is silent as he watches the scene unfold. With a shrug, you nod your head at a different cloud, the flickering scene showing the same woman from before. Only now, she's bowing her head and seemingly spewing apologies towards a fuming couple. The couple have their arms wrapped around a heavily pregnant girl, who could be no older than fifteen. They're shouting as they point at the boy from before, who's older now and smirking with his hands behind his head.

“Poor girl. Got her pregnant and kept denying the baby was yours. Gotta say, nothing has changed about that.” You mumble as the scene flickers to a new one, showing the older boy now wooing another girl as the pregnant girl from before weeps at his feet. This was only making your job easier. You motion to yet another gray cloud and the two of you watch another memory. This goes on and on for what Miller thinks is hours, all the scenes portraying everything he'd ever done in his lifetime. When the clouds poof away in a shimmer of tiny sparkles, he glares at you with his jaw clenched, nostrils flared in barely restrained anger.

“What the hell do you want from me…?” That makes you scoff loudly, shaking your head as you move off of his desk and stand in front of him once more.

“You don't get it, do you Miller…? All those memories we've just sat here and watched, moments of you being nothing but a dick to people… That was your life. That's how you'll be remembered. All the pain you caused, all the lives you ruined. You abused people, your wife, your children. Discarded those who didn't fit into your perfect ideal vision like the children you had from numerous affairs. Stole from the poor, ravaged the needy. That's all they'll see when they think of you.” He laughs, a deep guffaw that comes from the belly as he slaps a hand on the desk. Like your speech just tickled him. With a sigh, you look at him with exasperation as you wait for him to finish. It takes several more moments before he finally quiets down, chuckles leaving his lips as he wipes at his tears.

“Gotta admit… That was a good one. You act as if I should care, as if my heart should bleed for those pathetic sacks of shit. Life has no room for scum like that. They should be thanking me.” Miller spits out, words a hiss of venom for all those people he trampled upon. “I taught them that only elites like me belong in this world, that they should apologize for even being born. No matter how they remember me, it'll never take away from the fact that they should have never been placed on this damn planet to begin with. They'll remember their place in this world, thanks to me!” You just stare at him, silence all you can muster for several heartbeats as he heaves from the drivel he'd uttered. With a sharp inhale, you nod your head, removing your hands from your pockets.

“Okay…”, you breathe softly, standing up straighter as you step back from the desk a bit. “That was your chance at redemption, at repentance, and you squandered it. You won't be mourned…” Angry veins threaten to pop out of his forehead as he gives you a nasty look, eyes wide and teeth bared with fury that makes his entire body shake. He points a thick, manicured finger adorned with several rings at you, hand shaking and twitching with the painful spasms that seemed to wrack his body. The guilty always did like to snap their teeth when it was unnecessary, especially if they knew that deep down, they were in the wrong.

“Know your damn place! Who the fuck are you to judge me, you filthy quim?!” The man's heavy breathing is all that can be heard in the silence of the office, the air now growing colder and thicker. As he wiped at the sweat that was starting to drip down his temples again, he could feel his temper dissipating slowly. You remained staring at him, unblinking and the slight shine to your eyes fading, like the warmth of your gaze was growing colder. There's something stirring around you, something sparking like static. Like a dangerous current of energy. Miller can see it, feels his breathing grow heavier with slight trepidation. Trepidation that slowly shifts into fear at the way the lights in the room start to flicker.

You tilt your head at him and the very ground starts to shake. The eerie look in your eyes grows all the more frigid as they start to glow a bright white, peering deep into what he feels like is his very soul. Papers and supplies suddenly shoot up into the air, whirling and spinning about the two like a raging tornado. The lights flicker sporadically, the violent winds rustling his clothes and whipping him in the face as he gazes up at you in horror. There, erupting from your back and spreading out wide behind you are a pair of glorious wings, casting a large ominous shadow about the room. The feathers gleam and glitter, shifting from pristine white to pitch black with every movement as you lift up into the air. Divine, radiant energy crackles around you, around your very fingertips as you point a finger directly at the shivering dead. Fear grips its icy claws into Miller's non beating heart and refuses to release him as you speak, your voice seeming to rattle his very bones, thundering in his ears like the most vicious of storms.

“I am peace. I am agony. I am light. I am darkness. I am protector. I am avenger. The Heaven's bell ringer. The Hells’ caterer. The Angel who hath fallen from grace. The Angel who hath conquered her fall. The Heavens and Hells demand judgment for thee and judgment I shall bestow.”

Just as his trembling lips begin to part, hastily trying to plead for mercy, a crackling bolt of energy erupts from the tip of your finger. His screams echo in your ears as his soul writhes and twitches, shrinking down, down, down. Until it is but a glowing orb floating listlessly above the desk. The howling wind slowly subsides, the papers and office supplies clattering onto the floor around you. You flutter back down to the floor, stumbling as you land on your feet. Groaning, you place a hand against your head and shake away the lingering glow of your eyes. One day, you'd get used to this part of the job. Hopefully.

Sighing, you beckon the floating red orb towards you with a flick of your finger, tucking it into your pocket once it glided into your palm. The sound of clapping makes you jump, your head whipping around towards the source. Serenity giggles at you as she nears you, hands on her hips as she nods her head.

“Doesn't matter how many times I see it, you're always so bloody terrifying. It's a good look, babes”, she hums as she links her arm with yours. You roll your eyes and shake your head, a smile flitting across your face despite yourself.

“I suppose. I wonder if it'd have the same effectiveness if I was actually in control of that part of the job.” You mumble as you feel a ghost of a hand on your shoulder, patting it in what you're sure was thanks. The Almighty. After giving you your wings back after killing Osborn, the entity had bestowed you with a new title befitting your new sense of self. Not just an Angel but nowhere near a demon. More so, you were the bridge between the Heavens and Hells, delivering judgment to those whose vile acts have threatened the lives of more than just a handful of people. An amazing job that you did with pride and great care, fairly judging the souls that were required of you. The only downside to the whole thing was that you couldn't control when you gave the whole spiel you did earlier. As long as it terrified your targets into knowing the severity of their actions, it didn't bother you.

“Oh, trust. You don't need a speech to be terrifying”, Reni says with a playful scoff, making you chuckle as you open a portal to your home. It then struck you that Serenity was here. On Earth. With a gasp, you turn and look at her with wide eyes.

“Now that I'm thinking about it, why the hell are you here? You shouldn't be out and about like this right now. How did you even get Ned to let you leave the Hells?” She groans and rolls her eyes, patting her pregnant belly with a sigh.

“I had to sneak out. I was feeling cramped! And nobody does funnel cake better than the humans, okay?” Serenity says with a sheepish smile, poking your cheek when you frown at her. “Neddy was fussing over me too much and I needed a break. Not that I don't like when he's clingy. The baby wanted earth food so she gets earth food, dammit! I'm a fully grown succubus, I think I can handle a trip while pregnant.”

“Ned is probably losing his shit right now”, you sigh heavily as you tug your friend along with you into the portal. “He gets a little dumb when it comes to you. Imagine how he's gonna act when he sees you missing.” Reni just groans and stomps her feet as she trails behind you, knowing that you were right. It makes you giggle.

You feel the weight of your day lifting off of your shoulders as you both emerge from the portal, the sight of your home filling you with warmth. A smile flits across your face as you both walk towards the cottage, heart soaring at the sight of your little Aiden running towards you.

Reni lets go of you so that you can open your arms wide, letting out a small oof when the eight year old collides into you. A chuckle leaves your lips and you pull him closer, fingers softly pushing the locs over his eyes away from his face. Aiden smiles up at you with gleaming eyes, dopey and lopsided just like his father. It always astounded you just how much he looked like Hobie, to the point he could be considered his mini me. At least he had your eyes.

“Welcome home, Mummy”, he says sweetly, beaming up at you in the most adorable way that your heart aches. Cupping his face in your hands, you press a loving kiss to his forehead and nuzzle your nose against his.

“I'm home, my darling. What have you been up to today while I was gone”, you coo softly as you lean back a bit to look at him properly. His nose twitches before he gives you an endearing look. Uh oh. A tell-tale sign that he was about to lie. You release him with a raised eyebrow, hands on your hips as you wait for his little story. Aiden chuckles softly and clasps his hands behind his back, black wings drooping behind him a bit.

“W-Well…! I, uh… I paid attention durin’ class today! Mr. O'Hara said I was good! And then, uh… I-I came home and did my homework. Honest!” His cute little smile almost makes you forget that he's lying straight through his teeth. You hum before glancing down at his shirt, noting the dirt caked onto his sleeve. Oh, of course.

“Aiden Lokius Brown, answer me truthfully. You and your sisters have been sparring with your father again, haven't you?” He shakes his head furiously, nose twitching all the while. You suppose that one day he'll get a handle on that. Just as he goes to open his mouth to deny your claims, an arm wraps around your shoulders. A deep chuckle sounds in your ears and you turn to see Hobie beaming down at you. His golden eyes sparkle and his locs spill over his shoulder as he peers at you, a knowing grin on his face.

“Wha’ is all this ‘bout sparrin’, huh? Aiden and I've been doin’ nothin’ but homework. Right, terror?” He drawls as he looks down at a slightly shocked Aiden, who quickly pulls his facial expression together before giving you a shaky smile. The sight makes you narrow your eyes and you gaze back up at Hobie with a knowing smirk, the demon before you visibly sweating under your scrutiny. After a beat of silence, you lean away from him and fold your arms.

“Come on, Billie. Jig is up”, you hum softly, biting back the grin as ‘Hobie’ groans with defeat. A shimmer of dark purple light flickers around him, before the form of your demon melts away, revealing your pouting sixteen year old. She huffs and folds her arms as she looks at you, brown wings drooping a bit in disappointment at being found out. Her clothes are mussed, dirt cakes her cheeks, and her hair has leaves sticking out of it.

“How'd you know it was me? Thought my Dad impression was spot on.” Billie grumbles, scrunching up her nose as you rub some of the dirt off of her face. A chuckle leaves your lips as you playfully yank at one of her curls.

“You and your brother should have planned this out a bit more. Besides, you forgot to add our birthstones that he wears in his hair and his necklace”, you say as you show off your ruby one that matched his sapphire one. Billie just pouts and kicks up dust with her feet before letting out a loud sigh.

“Okay, fine. We were sparring with Dad, though he only wrestled with Aiden. He and Mona are going at it right now.” You just close your eyes at her words before shaking your head and heading to the backyard, your children trailing behind you. The sounds of a scuffle grow louder the closer you get, eyes wide at the scene that greets you.

The flowers you'd planted were all but scorched, lingering purple flames burning the grass beneath it. The very earth looked as though it had been cracked open by an earthquake, the pergola now sitting lopsided. The large oak tree that you and Hobie both adored was now split in half straight down the middle. And there Hobie was, too busy sparring with his daughter to notice the state of everything. The chaos of it all just makes you sigh and you hear Reni’s voice coming up beside you, turning to see Riri at her side as well. The cambion shakes her head and grins as she points at the two, gently nudging your side with her elbow.

“Ramona’s lasted longer than the other two. Wonder if she'll finally beat him this time”, Riri says with an excited gleam in her eyes. You shoot her a glare and huff.

“Ri, you know I don't want them doing this. Look at this mess!”

“If it's any consolation, it doesn't look half as bad as last time”, Reni whispers softly, a sympathetic look on her face as she pats your back. Her hand stills suddenly and you glance at her in confusion before biting back the amused giggle from leaving your lips. Standing a few feet away is Ned, newly finished knitted blanket for the baby clutched in his hands and a frown on his trembling lips as he meets eyes with Serenity. He's quick to march over, the crow demon very clearly upset at the fact that his girl had up and disappeared on him. You watch with a barely contained grin as Reni gives him a sheepish, apologetic smile before gaping at him in shock. Unshed tears shine in his red rimmed eyes as he looks down at her, face slightly red as though he'd been crying. Poor guy. Ned sniffles before folding his arms, the blanket he made still clutched in his hands.

“Go on. Tell me where you were.” He huffs and Serenity all but caves at the sight of him, hands cupping his cheeks as she leans up to press a kiss on his lips. Riri groans beside you at the sight but refrains from booing them, clearly seeing how upset Ned is.

“I'm sorry, Neddy bear. The baby was making me crave funnel cake and I was feeling really cramped at home. I should've told you, I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd be this upset about it, honest!”

“Course I was! You're pregnant, babe! This is our first ever child and I don't want you to strain yourself.” Ned sighs before wrapping his arms around her in a hug. “If you want to get out sometimes, then just tell me. I can always walk with you or have someone else go with you, okay? Promise not to sneak out anymore? It's not good for my heart.”

“Aw. I promise, love.” Serenity coos before kissing him, Riri now officially starting to boo them. Ned flips her off, which makes you laugh. Some things never change. Taking a deep breath, the crow demon gazes around at his surroundings with wide eyes.

“Oh, shit. Wha’ happened here?” A groan leaves you as you're suddenly reminded of the chaos. The cambion besides you snorts at your friend's words.

“Took you long enough, Neddy boy.” You chose not to dwell on the thought of repairs and shift your gaze to observe the fight closely. It looks as though the long sparring session was about to come to an end, Ramona panting heavily as sweat dripped down her forehead. Hobie smirks at his daughter and tilts his head, voice taunting as he speaks.

“Come now, Mayhem. That all you got? Thought you said you was gonna make me eat dirt, huh?” He snickers before beckoning the panting teen closer. Mona grits her teeth, eyes glowing a deep blue and dark brown wings puffing up with growing irritation. Energy crackles around her then, sharp and scorching, almost like lightning. Then, she suddenly disappears in a shimmer of blue smoke, the wispy clouds dissipating into the air. Ramona appears in front of him in a shimmering puff of smoke then, quick as lightning as she kicks him in the chest. Hobie grunts before moving to grip her leg, only for his fist to close around nothing. She's behind him, aiming another kick to his back. Just as he turns around, Mona has appeared at his right, smoke billowing in her hair. She lands quick harsh jabs and kicks, moving so fast that it's hard for any of you to really keep up. Blue smoke trails after her with every new spot she teleports to.

“Go, Mona, go!” Billie cheers and Aiden jumps excitedly beside her, the two overjoyed to see their father actually getting stumped for once. Hobie chuckles, shocked and proud that he's being forced to defend himself before clicking his tongue.

“As amazin’ as this is, Mac”, he grunts before shooting out a hand to grab Ramona by the collar of her jacket right as she appears in front of him. Her eyes widen and she yelps as he suddenly flips her over his shoulder, the two tumbling onto the burnt remains of the grass below. Landing on her back with a groan, she glares up at her smirking father, slapping at his arm firmly pressed against her shoulder. Hobie chuckles and tilts his head down at where he has her pinned, his victory clear. “Not really good to be predictable, innit.”

“Ugh. One of these days, ‘M gonna win.” Ramona huffs, chest heaving and the blue glow of her eyes fizzling out. Aiden and Billie boo at Hobie as he helps her up, patting her head affectionately. Which earns him a pout and a slap on his hand.

“I look forward to seein’ it, Mon. Now, I've got to see to snoggin’ your mum.” A loud guffaw leaves you at his words and you gape at him incredulously while he jogs over to you, your children and Riri giving him a collective number of boos which does nothing but make him laugh and wiggle his eyebrows at them. You can see your reflection in his golden gaze when he's finally close enough, eyes warm and glittering with affection. Dark flawless skin glistening with a light sheen of sweat and piercings glinting in the sunlight, you have to reign in the way your eyes dare to stray lower down the opening of his loose white cotton shirt. His hair spills over his shoulder, crystals in his hair clinking together softly.

Hobie smiles down at you and places his hands on your hips, fingers looping in your belt loops and tugging you closer to him. The action alone makes your breath hitch and the way he looks down at you through his long lashes is enough to make you almost swoon. You reel yourself in, however, crossing your arms and giving him a pointed look. It makes him pause, stopping himself from leaning further down and raising an eyebrow in question at the look on your face.

“Wha's the matter, lovie?” Hobie asks curiously, fingers fiddling with your belt loops still. Narrowing your eyes and letting out a huff, you sweep out an arm to gesture to the ruins of your backyard. Gold eyes sweeping to survey the damage, he winces slightly, lips turning up into a sheepish, apologetic grin.

“O-Oh… We got carried away, huh…?” Hobie chuckles softly, biting at his bottom lip and batting his lashes down at you.

“Don't try getting cute with me. Look at this! I thought I told you I didn't want you sparring with the kids. What if someone got hurt?” The words make your demon scoff, shaking his head as he leans in closer to you, cool breath fanning your heated cheeks. You could tell what he was trying to do and part of you was certain you could resist him. A very small part, though.

“You know I'd never harm my monsters, yeah? Nothin’ happened, love. Nobody got hurt, promise”, Hobie mumbles as one of his hands move to tenderly grip your chin, lifting your face up closer to his, lips just inches from your own. The tip of his nose brushes lightly against yours and you smile up at him so sweetly, so tenderly, your hands moving to wrap around his waist, fingers drawing little patterns on his sides. Your eyes flutter as he presses a sweet kiss to your cheek, your forehead, your nose. As he peppers little kisses on your skin while trying to work you into letting him fully kiss you properly, your fingers trail lightly up his side. Brushing them along his chest, you gently poked right at the space his ribs would be, smirking up at him knowingly when he inhales sharply.

“Nobody got hurt, huh…?” You whisper softly before leaning back to gaze up at him with a raised eyebrow. Hobie lets out a huff of a laugh at being found out before shrugging.

“She got me good, wha’ can I say?” You scoff and roll your eyes.

“They're all getting stronger, Hobes. One of these days, they're gonna give you bruises”, you mumble as you gaze up at him.

“That just means I've gotten sloppy”, he says with a cheeky grin that irks you, a little annoyed that he's still joking about the fighting. Pursing your lips, you pull away from his embrace and fold your arms. Hobie lets out a confused hum, quick to loop his fingers back into your belt loops and gently tugging to pull you back to him. You don't budge, shooting him a glare.

“Nope. You lost kissing privileges.” Hobie's gold eyes widen slightly before a pout forms on his lips, fingers tugging you closer still. He leans down to rest his chin on your shoulder, hands slowly trailing up your hips to your waist and thumbs rubbing tender patterns on your sides. His voice is a low whisper, a whiny mumble that makes your heart ache and your slight resolve to punish him falter.

“I really can't get any smooches? ‘M really sorry, lovie. Gimme a kiss, please?” And now he was asking politely? The stern expression on your face was breaking and you shiver as you feel his lips press tenderly against your neck, piercing cold against your flesh. Hobie's kisses move up higher towards your jaw, as soft as silk and enough to send your heart thundering in your chest.

“Let me kiss you, angel, please? My pretty, pretty, angel”, he murmurs between kisses, effectively melting your heart and shattering your resolve. You sigh and gaze up at him with dreamy eyes as he pulls back to look down at you properly, one of his hands guiding yours to rest on his chest while the other gently cups your cheek. You can feel the fluttering of his heart beneath your palm and Hobie gives you such a dazzling smile full of warmth and adoration that you swoon. His lips press against yours then, soft and sweet and making your heart soar into the clouds. Your eyes flutter shut and you lean into him more, never able to get enough of him it seems. His pounding heart beneath your fingers makes your brain short circuit and the breathy chuckle he gives against your lips makes you weak in the knees.

“Am I forgiven”, Hobie mumbles against your lips, voice deep and low and like the smoothest of chocolates. Damn him for being so utterly perfect, for making a home for himself in your heart and soul. And when he looks down at you with sparkling golden pools of devotion to you and only you, you're reminded of just how much of a goner you are. You softly nod your head, leaning in for another kiss and melting at the pleased hum that escapes him.

“One of these days, I'll stop giving in to you so easily.” You whisper, which makes him chuckle and adorn you with more affection. Only for you both to yelp at the cold splash of water hitting you both. Eyes wide with disbelief and now dripping wet, you both whip your head towards the direction it had come from before glaring at your twin daughters. Billie and Ramona are quick to shake their heads and point over to a sheepish looking Aiden holding a water balloon in his hands.

“Terror…” Hobie warns as he shakes his head free of water, narrowing his eyes at his son who drops the balloon on the ground and holds up his hands pleadingly.

“Wait, wait! Auntie Ri told me to do it!” Aiden cries while pointing to Riri, who gives him an incredulous look.

“You little snitch!” That was all Hobie needed before he bolted towards them, both Riri and your son screaming and running away from the soaked demon King who was hot on their heels. The sight sends you keeling over with laughter, tears escaping your eyes and chortles leaving your lips as you grip your stomach. You'd never tire of moments like these. Not when you finally have an eternity to make more of them.

[the-kr8tor]

OMFG YOU 🫵 YOU WROTE THIS AMAZINGLY LIKE WHAT?! THE TENSION THE DIALOGUE WHEW I WAS ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT!!!

Gahhhhh you were so right when you told me that their personalities can be seen during a game bc they really shined throughout the scene!!!

Benny you piece of shit!!! Rahhh how dare he hurt my girls?! Yanking Mona's hair got my motherly instincts to flare up ngl 😭 what would be funny is if this kid is Terry's kid (Terry from ttn who bullied R and ended up getting beaten up by hobie when they were kids) it would be like the circle of life lol

Nuh uh poor mona betting the mp3 player 😭 then billie tossing in what could be Hobie's pick 😭😭😭 my girls 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I cannot get over how well you wrote the whole poker game that must've been a headache to write! But it was all worth it bc it was incredibly good! I really felt like i was genuinely watching a poker game! Really exceeded my expectations!

GRANDMA?!!! OH THEY'RE FUCKED HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA

WOSNWIDJOWD I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!! From what I recall in the movie this is where they get stuck in the same cabin no? Where they find out that they're actually twins! I'M EXCITED FOR IT!!!

Well done, my love!! And pinky too for beta reading! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Webbed Together

Pairing: Hobie Brown x Fem!Reader/ Spider-Punk x Fem!Reader

Word count: 4.9k

Author's Note: When you're still a little hungover and you force yourself to push through writing your new chapter because your brain was suddenly hit with motivation 🫠 I'd like to thank @pinksugarscrub for beta reading and editing the hell out of this chapter for me! Credit goes to @the-kr8tor for their original characters Ramona and Billie. Also, I am not an expert on poker, so if any poker players have any comments about the accuracy of the game itself, please let me know! 🤣

Tags: Parent Trap!AU, Dad!Hobie AU, Twin!AU, Billie and Ramona!AU, Older!Hobie, Mom!Reader, Older!Reader

Chapter 5: Poker Face

<<< Chapter 4 Chapter 6>>>

SLAP!

Five cards smack against the plastic round table, and more groans and murmurs erupt from the crowd around Benny as he eagerly wraps his arms around the pile of bills, coins and other trinkets in the middle of the table.

“Looks like it’s my game again,” he taunts with a snicker while slowly raking the pot towards himself. “I thought for sure you guys were trying to win this round.”

Three older kids sitting on the round table with him only glare at him, one of them tossing their hand on the table with a disgruntled huff and another opens his wallet, instantly deflating at the sight of it being empty.

“ ‘m out.”

“Me too.”

“Damn it, I don’t have any more money either…”

“Oh c’mon!” Benny taunts the kids as they push themselves off their seats and return into the waves of kids surrounding them. “I thought you guys were gonna beat me! What happened to that, huh?”

The crowd surrounding him continues to mumble and shuffle around him, as if wary of being the next victim of his little game. Benny merely rolls his eyes in response and crosses his arms while slumping against the plastic backrest of the bench. “Fine, whatever. I got other people over here who can replace you guys. Any takers?”

“Mind if I take a whack at it?”

The crowd instantly turns to a British girl’s voice ringing in the back, and the sea of kids slowly part in confusion and intrigue while Billie slowly walks through and approaches the roundtable with Annie and Ramona peeking behind her. Billie’s signature cat-like smile curls up on her lips as she flops down on the plastic bench in front of Benny, and Ramona and Annie follow suit as they sit down at the remaining empty spots. Benny’s eyes light up while a cheeky grin of his own curls up on his face.

“Brown! Where’ve you been?” Benny calls out with an obnoxious laugh. “You just up and left during our volleyball game, what gives?”

Billie shrugs in response, but her lazy smile grows slightly strained the more she listens to him. “A mate o’ mine got ‘urt, ‘member? Got hit in the head during the game, and ‘nother mate and I helped him to the infirmary.”

Benny’s face scrunches up in confusion as he picks up the cards off the table and starts to straighten them up into a deck. “You mean that one dork with the trumpet? He really must suck at sports if he couldn’t dodge that, huh?”

Ramona instantly bristles and turns her eyes to Benny, her eyes sharpening into a hard glare. “That dork you’re talking about is still in the infirmary because of you–”

Billie quickly grabs Ramona’s shoulder before she could continue, and Ramona turns her glare to her double’s sympathetic eyes for a moment before quietly relenting and sinking down her seat with an annoyed sulk. Billie then glances back over to Benny, her impish smile faltering into a lopsided one while propping her elbow on the table.

“I’ll admit, Arnie might not look like the sporty type,” Billie replies with a neutral tone despite her carefree smile not reaching her eyes, “but that don’ mean you can hit ‘em and leave a big knot on ‘is head li’ tha’.”

“But you gotta admit, it was kinda hilarious,” Benny snickers while quickly shuffling the cards before his eyes drift back to a disgruntled Ramona. “...y’know, I didn’t know you had a sister, Brown. You got that opposite twin thing going on here–”

“Not sisters,” Both Billie and Ramona cut him off. Benny stares at them in befuddlement before glancing over at an unbothered Annie. She then narrows her eyes at him before turning her nose from him with a huff.

“...okay?” Benny finally shrugs before he starts to pass cards around one by one, slightly unnerved by the three girls giving him the cold shoulder in varying degrees, before all four of them have their hands. “Whatever, I guess. I’m getting kinda bored with five-card, so we’re gonna go with Texas Hold’em. You three okay with that?”

Billie rolls her eyes as she reaches into her pocket and pulls out her beaten up studded wallet and opens it up. “Whatever works, I can play either. Limit or no limit?”

“No limit, but everybody’s only been betting money,” Benny replies with a bored groan while lifting his cards by the corner slightly, a small smirk curling up on his lips before he lets the cards go flat on the table and looks up at Billie.

Benny then glances over at Ramona, who furrows her brows while darting her eyes around the table with a wavering frown. His eyes instantly light up at the flicker of weakness.

“Hey, uh… not-spiky Brown?”

Ramona instantly drops the uncertainty on her face before she looks at him with an irritated deadpan.

“When are you putting in your bet?”

“...what?”

Billie leans towards Ramona’s side and gently taps at the middle of the table. “Just drop half of what I put on the table,” Billie whispers to her double, “And every round we start after you basically put in half of what I put before we start.”

“...oh, like that small blind, big blind thing you and Annie were talking about earlier?”

“Yep, exactly.”

“But how come you’re the one putting in more money?”

“Bloke’s the dealer, and whoever is in the left of him is the small blind, and the one after is the big blind–”

“Okay, wait, hold up–” Benny barks up a laugh of disbelief as Ramona nods along to Billie’s explanation. “You sure you wanna let the newbie play in the game? She’ll probably lose all of her money if she’s not careful…not like I’m gonna stop her though.”

Ramona narrows her eyes at Benny again before she tosses two quarters from her coin pouch and glances down to peek at her hand with a slight frown. “I get the gist of it, like the hand rankings and all. It’s just… I only watched my mom play poker sometimes.”

A wicked gleam shines on Benny’s eyes as the crowd around the players start to boo and laugh, but Billie instantly slams her fist against the plastic table and glares around the crowd until they quiet down to disgruntled groans.

“If you get the basics of it, you should be okay,” Annie reassures Ramona. “Just gotta play a few rounds to get it, y’know?”

“She’ll probably lose all of her money before she finally gets it though,�� Benny mutters under his breath with a quiet snicker. Billie is uncharacteristically unbothered by Benny’s snide comments as she clears her throat and glances up from her cards.

“C’mon, girlies,” Billie sighs with a scrunched up nose and a slight pout. “Le’s jus’ start the game. He ain’t worth getting miffed over.”

Annie rolls her eyes with a huff before she tosses a dollar onto the table, starting the first round. “Fine, call. Are we just gonna play until someone wins the whole pot, or is there a set amount of rounds?”

“We keep going until one of us wins the whole pot,” Benny snickers as he tosses two dollars onto the table. Ramona hesitantly glances back down at her hand before sighing and tossing her cards to the middle of the table. Billie rolls her eyes soon after, “Jus’ hurry up ‘n drop the flops.”

Benny flips three cards onto the table– seven of hearts, six of clubs, four of clubs. “Don’t be like that, Brown. It’s just a game, remember?”

Billie’s eye twitches slightly as she tosses another bill to match Benny’s play. “Games should be fun, Benny. ’s not fun for e’ryone if you’ve been trash-talkin’ the whole time.”

Benny rolls his eyes while Annie clicks her tongue and folds, tossing her cards towards the middle of the table. 

“Why’re you being sensitive, Brown?” he snorts before dropping another two bills onto the table and flipping another card, four of hearts. “It’s not like it’s actually hurting anybody.”

“Somebody did end up getting hurt, though,” Annie grumbles while pushing her glasses up. Billie gently nudges Annie’s foot with her own underneath the table. Annie glances up with a quirked eyebrow, but as soon as Annie meets Billie’s sympathetic smile, Annie hesitates before sighing and crossing her arms against her chest.

Billie’s soft eyes drop to a bored deadpan while she instantly tosses three bills onto the growing pot. “I ain’t bein’ sensitive,” Billie retorts as she pulls out more crumbled bills and dumping out a stream of coins onto the table. “I jus’ don’ like arseholes."

“If you’re gonna call me an asshole, at least say it right,” Benny rolls his eyes as he matches Billie’s bet and flips the last card for the round, eight of spades. “You probably shouldn’t bet so much on the first round.” Benny then flips his hand, revealing a four and a nine of diamonds. His mouth curls up into a smug smirk. “Three of a kind. Not the best hand, but it works out just fine for me.”

Billie only gives a lazy smile and tilts her head before she slowly reveals her own hand.  “Straight– three, four, five, six, seven. Not the best hand, but it got the job done.”

Benny shrugs while Billie gathers the pot for the round. “Not bad, not bad. It’s just the first round, though. We have a long way to go before this game finishes.” 

Benny’s eyes then dart between the disgruntled Annie and the pensive Ramona before adding “Well, it might finish a little faster if it’s only Brown and me playing to win.”

Annie’s jaw instantly clenches at the taunt, and Ramona’s eyes sharpen. A smug grin curls up on Benny’s face once he sees the reactions he wanted.

“C’mon, it’s just for fun,” Benny snickers while quickly passing the next hands. “You guys don’t need to get your panties in a twist.”

Annie’s face pinches up in disgust as she subtly glances at her hand before tossing two dollars and a couple quarters to raise the bet. “Beating you would probably be worth it, with or without you having to do anything the winner says.”

“That’s if you girls can beat me,” Benny scoffs before matching Annie. “I mean, besides Brown, you two would probably back out before we get to higher stakes.”

Ramona rolls her eyes. “Don’t get too cocky now.”

Three new cards get flipped onto the middle of the table– jack of hearts, ten of clubs, four of clubs.

“I only needed one round to know how you guys work,” Benny taunts with a shit-eating grin while he sets the deck of cards down. “You–” he points at Ramona– “are just a newbie, so you’ll get lost the further we play. Redhead on my right–” his finger darts to Annie– “gets annoyed easily, so she’ll probably get triggered into making bigger bets than she’ll bargain for. And Brown?”

Billie tosses a couple more bills and quarters, raising the bet for the pot. Benny only snorts in amusement in response. “She’s a little more aggressive with her play, taking more risks and relying more on luck than anything.”

As soon as Annie knocks twice on the table, Benny tosses some more bills, raising the bet even higher. “But sometimes luck isn’t enough to win.”

Ramona’s face pinches up at the higher bet in hesitation before tossing some bills, and Benny snickers as he flips the next card onto the table– six of spades.

Billie, however, slowly sucks on her teeth out of boredom as she matches Benny’s bet. “I dunno,” Billie shrugs, her nimble fingers tapping on the plastic surface while continuing to stare Benny down, “Dad’s always says I was his lucky poppet. Things jus’ work out for me in th’ end.”

“Oh god,” Benny rolls his eyes as he flips a jack of spades onto the table, “are you that much of a daddy’s girl? That’s such a lame thing your dad would call you–”

SLAM!

All eyes turn to Billie as her fist trembles a bit against the table. Her eyes stare daggers at the boy in front of her and her mouth curls into a scowl. The crowd behind her backs away from the quick outburst.

“Shut yer trap,” Billie nearly snarls at Benny. “My dad's not lame.”

Annie’s eyes widen at her friend before one of her hands reaches out to gently unfurl Billie’s fist. At the same time, Ramona’s own eyes turn cold as she stares down an unapologetic Benny.

Benny holds his hands up in surrender, but a wicked gleam glints in his eye. “Noted. No bringing up dads.”

“You suck, y’know that?” Annie mutters under her breath, flipping her hand of a four of hearts and an eight of diamonds out in the open.

Benny only smirks before he flips his own cards– a ten of hearts and a four of diamonds– and his grin grows even more as Billie clicks her tongue and tosses her cards to the middle. “Don’t hate the player, hate the game–”

A hand quietly cuts him off when it props itself on Benny’s left arm, and he glances up in confusion, only for his eyes to meet Ramona holding up her hand in the air.  One of the cards was a jack of diamonds.

“Three of a kind,” Ramona echoes Benny’s words before tossing her hand down onto the plastic table. “Not the best hand, but it works out just fine for me.”

Benny’s face drops as Ramona gently nudges his arm away from the cash on the table with a straight face before pushing it towards herself, all the while the crowd surrounding the four players murmur in waves.

“Benny lost two rounds in a row?”

“Newbie just basically stole his thunder–”

“Guess karma just bit him in the butt–”

Annie stares straight at Ramona in disbelief while Billie sends a sideways glance to her double with a slight smirk on her lips. “Nice one, Mon-mon…”

A small frown surfaces on Benny’s face for the first time, a flicker of annoyance in his eyes, before he slowly grabs the cards off the table and shuffles them into the deck.

“Beginner’s luck,” he grumbles under his breath while Ramona carefully flattens out some of the crumbled bills in front of her. “We still got the rest of the game here…”

—

The game continues on, the series of rounds quickly drawing more eyes onto the table. Shuffling, dealing, drawing, money betting, cards tossing. First Benny rakes in the pot, then Billie, then Benny, then Annie– the pot keeps shifting back and forth between the players, their money growing and depleting with each play, tension gradually growing on the table with many taunts from Benny and retorts from the girls, each word growing more charged than the last.

The crowd shuffles and grows more invested in the game, each round pulling more spectators than potential players as everyone watches over the four players like vultures. A young boy with a slight bump on his forehead struggles to maneuver himself through the waves of kids, confusion flooding into his eyes before he finally pushes himself into the middle, coming face to face with his three new friends pushing stacks of coins and bills into the middle of the growing pot one by one against the smug lone boy in the game.

Arnold turns his head to a shorter boy looking over Billie’s shoulder, gasping at the growing pot as Billie flicks her wrist and lets a stack of dollar bills flutter to the middle of the table.

“Hey,” Arnold quietly taps the boy’s shoulder with a frown, “what the heck’s going on?”

The boy glances at Arnold with an irritated huff, his eyes briefly darting to the large knot on Arnold’s head, before shaking his head and turning his attention back to the game. “The older guy Benny said that whoever beats him in a game of poker can get whatever they want from him, and these three girls jumped into the game. They lasted way longer than any of the other kids who played him, so right now everybody is just waiting to see who’ll win in the end.”

Arnold’s eyes almost bulge out of his sockets as he looks back at the game, a sense of dread pooling in his stomach, before he frantically shuffles himself and mutters his apologies until he approaches Ramona from behind.

“Ramona!”

Ramona looks over her shoulder with a puzzled furrow to her brows before her eyes widen with shock. “Arnold? What’re you doing here?”

The rest of the players look up from the sudden interruption, Annie glancing up from her hand before doing a double take and Billie giving a brief unbothered smile and wave to Arnold, before a loud snort breaks through the quiet murmurs of the crowd. All three of the girls turn their sharpened glares at the snickering Benny while he points at the bump on Arnold’s head.

“Oh my god, what happened to your head, dude? It looks like something’s gonna pop outta there!”

Benny cackles a little more while the crowd slowly backs away from the three girls glaring daggers at him.

“You did that, you little dipshi–”

“Annie, wait–”

“What? Don’t try to give him a pass, Arnie! That was mean, and you know it!”

“Annie, Benny’s just bein’ an arse–”

“You’re just gonna let this slide, Bills?! He’s been talking crap nonstop the whole game–”

“He’s doin’ tha’ to trip all o’ us up–”

“Gotta be kidding– Ramona, help me out here?”

Ramona continues to send an icy glare at Benny as she crosses her arms against her chest. “He’s gonna keep talking crap no matter what. The only reason we all jumped in in the first place is to beat him and get him to apologize to Arnold.”

A scoff slips through Benny’s lips as his eyes land on Ramona’s. “Try saying that when you quit folding and win some more rounds–”

“Benny,” Billie cuts him off with a curt voice. “How ‘bout you win a couple more rounds agains’ me ‘stead of pickin’ on Mon-mon? ‘M sure you still wanna win back some of the cash you lost.”

Benny’s smug smirk drops into a slight scowl once he turns his attention to the British girl in front of him, his jaw slightly clenched as his hand grabs a handful of his winnings.

“I still have some cash on me.”

“Then you bette’ get ‘em ready, ‘cuz I ain’t leavin’ ‘til I win th’ whole t’ing.”

Sparks crackle in the air as the two stare each other down across the table, and Arnold nervously looks between Ramona and Annie to stop Billie, only for the two other girls to glare at Benny too.

Benny lets out another scoff before a smirk grows on his face. “How about this? Since everybody’s itching to win, how about we make things interesting.”

He then tosses the last of his money into the pot before flipping the last card onto the plastic table top.

“Since everybody’s practically tapped out on their cash, we’ll add something else to the pot. I’m already betting myself doing something for you guys, so you three gotta add something too. And if you guys lose, not only do I take everything, you guys also have to do a punishment that I choose.” All three of the girls hesitate at the new stakes, making Benny snicker with a sly smirk. “Unless you girls are fine with giving up all of your money to me, but you’re already in too deep.”

Billie instantly bristles from Benny’s taunt, her hand itching to curl into a fist again. She knows the little bastard is just trying to trigger them, she knows that, but the idea of him suggesting this, whether a bluff or not, doesn’t sit well in her stomach. Billie gives a sideways glance to Annie, who has the same unsure frown as she glances back at Billie. For a moment, both girls wonder if they should risk it.

A small clatter suddenly breaks through the silence, and everyone turns to a reluctant Ramona as she slowly puts her mp3 player on top of the pot.

“Ramona?” Arnold quickly grabs her shoulders with wide eyes. “What’re you doing? I thought you said your mom gave you that–”

“I-it’s fine,” Ramona quietly reassures him with a slight smile, “it’s just music. I-I can just wait it out until camp’s over…” Despite her calm demeanor, her long fingers anxiously fidget and pick at her cuticles to avoid reaching for the small device back. Ramona’s gapped teeth slowly worries her bottom lip, and a slight ringing slowly creeps up in her ears the longer she looks down at the pot.

Billie instantly notices, her brows furrowing more as she glances up to Ramona struggling not to regret her decision, before letting out a loud sigh and reaching behind her neck. Her hands slowly pull away with an end of a red braided string in each before the rest of the necklace slides out from the hem of her shirt. A black plastic pick with some scratches hangs in the middle before Billie carefully coils it down on top of the pot with a determined face.

“My lucky pick. If Mon-mon’s willing to bet on it, then I should too…”

Ramona stares up at Billie with a flicker of shock and relief, a slight smile curling up on her lips, before glancing over at Annie as she hesitantly puts a small beaded bracelet onto the table.

“Y’know, you guys could’ve put a shoe or something in the pot,” Annie mutters with a sheepish pout. “Didn’t think you guys were gonna go with the dramatic movie moment on me…”

“Eh,” Billie shrugs with a lopsided grin, “ ‘m willin’ to put my quids in for this.”

Arnold continues to stare at his friends with bewilderment, his face pinching up with a worried look, before Ramona gently taps him in the arm with an encouraging smile.

“Don’t worry, you’re our friend. This is the least we could do.”

Arnold stares down at his friend with a flicker of awe and gratitude in his eyes, but a loud scoff instantly breaks the sentimental moment.

“Are we done with the cringey waterworks?” Benny huffs with an unimpressed frown as he crosses his arms. “We still have a game to play.”

All eyes turn to Benny, all three of the girls staring him down with a deadpan.

“Can you not read the room?” Annie rolls her eyes before glancing down at the last set of community cards on the table.

Ten of clubs. Three of hearts. Jack of clubs. Eight of spades. Queen of hearts.

With a deep sigh, Annie quickly flips her hand– eight of hearts and an eight of diamonds.

Billie quietly follows suit with her hand– king of hearts and ace of diamonds– before glancing back up at Benny with a slight smirk. “A three of a kind ‘n a straight. You gotta admit, ‘s a hard matchup, innit? Maybe I’ll have you on your hands and knees in front of everybody while you apologize to poor Arnie or sumt’in’.”

Benny nods along with a slight pout as he stares at their hands on the table. “Wow, Brown, you guys are good…”

Billie’s face falters from the sarcasm in his voice before Benny flips his hand with a flick of a wrist.  A king of hearts and an ace of diamonds.

“But not good enough to beat a flush, huh?”

Benny then looks up at the quiet Ramona as she glances down at her hand with a pensive frown, and a wicked grin curls up on his lips. “What’s wrong, newbie? Is your hand not good enough? Are you too scared to show your cards and admit defeat?”

Ramona looks up at the gloating Benny with a slightly bored stare before looking away and grabbing her mp3 player. Benny’s face drops in confusion before he angrily reaches for her hand and tightly grips it.

“Hey, what’re you doing?! Can’t you see I won–”

“Y’know,” Ramona calmly cuts Benny off, “every time I watched my mom play poker with my uncle, she’d always give me the same advice. She’d tell me to play only a few hands, to only take risks on hands that give me a strong gut feeling.”

Everyone’s eyes are on Ramona, confused mutters and intrigued chatters slowly surrounding the table. Benny snorts as he tries to yank the mp3 player out of her hand.

“Okay, what does your mom have anything to do with this–”

“My mom also told me to always keep my cool and to only bet high when it matters most.”

Ramona slowly flips her cards with her free hand, and waves of gasps as chatters instantly erupt in the crowd. Annie’s eyes almost break through her glasses, Arnold’s jaw drops, and Billie lets out a loud laugh of disbelief as she grabs her necklace back.

“Bloody hell, Mon-mon…”

The last person to look down on Ramona’s hand was Benny, and his face slowly pales once his eyes land on the king of clubs and the ace of clubs.

“I’m not sure how strong a flush is,” Ramona shrugs as she continues to stare at Benny with a small smile, “but I’m pretty sure it’s not as strong as a royal flush, right?” She then pulls her hand back out of his grip before sliding her mp3 player back in her pocket and turning her head to Billie and Annie. “We should probably split the pot between the three of us. I’d feel bad taking your guys' money.”

Ramona then turns back to the stunned Benny before crossing her arms against her chest. “Now, I’m not gonna make you get on your hands and knees in front of everybody–”

“Wha– Mon-mon, why?!”

“But I do want you to apologize to Arnold,” Ramona continues on, ignoring Billie’s protest. “Not only that, but I want you to apologize to everybody you made fun of. The way you talk to people is not cool, and people aren’t going to want to hang out with you if you keep being mean to them.”

Benny slowly lifts his eyes from the winning hand to Ramona, still astounded by the unexpected turn of events, before his face slowly flushes into a deep scowl and he angrily tackles Ramona down to the dirt ground.

“You cheated!” Benny roars at a screaming Ramona, struggling to pin her down while Ramona shoves her hand against his face to get off her. “You cheated! There’s no way you’d get a royal flush–”

“Mon-mon!” Billie yells out before jumping on top of Benny and wrapping her arms around his neck to yank him off. “Arnie! Annie! Get a counselor now!”

The crowd of kids scream and cheer around the fight breaking out in front of their eyes. Arnold hesitates and takes a step forward towards his fighting friends, worry and fear plaguing his eyes, but Annie quickly grabs his arm and tugs him away.

“Arnie, c’mon! We gotta get them help!”

Arnold stumbles behind Annie as she pulls him away, and he looks over his shoulder to the fight with dread in his eyes before relenting and quickly following the short redhead.

More whoops and clamors of ‘fight!’ echo around the three kids, dirt flying and clinging to their clothes the more they wrestle each other. Ramona screams and writhes underneath the stockier Benny, yelping out in pain when his hand grabs a handful of her dark coils and harshly yanks them.

“You cheated! You definitely cheated–”

“I didn’t cheat!” Ramona cries out while tears well up in her eyes from pain. “Get off me! I didn’t cheat!”

“Get off her, you stupid sod!” Billie screams as she kicks against the back of Benny’s legs, and Benny yells out in response before attempting to throw her off his back. Billie wraps her arms around his neck tighter in a vice grip while she throws her head back with as much of her weight as possible to pull him off Ramona.

Ramona cries out more as Benny yanks her hair again before she starts slapping her hands against his arms and tries to kick him off. “Get the hell off me, you asshole!”

Her palms sting with each slap, her scalp pricking from each tug and her eyes flooding with tears, until her hand accidentally slaps Benny in the middle of his face. A scream of pain erupts from Benny, and Billie finally yanks him off and throws him down onto the ground with her. Billie and Benny quickly roll around the dirt, Benny struggling to push her off and Billie refusing to let him near Ramona again, before a piercing whistle breaks through the screams of the crowd.

“WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON HERE?!”

The crows instantly disperses in a bedlam as an elderly woman rushes up to them with Arnie and Annie right behind her. A brief moment of relief flickers in Ramona’s eyes as Billie gets shoved off Benny with an ‘oof’, but that flicker quickly disappears when Benny gets up and runs over to her with tears in his eyes.

“Grandma!” Benny cries out to the counselor, and the rest of the kids’ faces grow pale.

“Grandma?” Ramona echoes with dread as everyone stares at the blubbering Benny hugging his grandmother, and Billie drops her head with a defeated groan.

“Ah shite.”

----

British Phrase of the Chapter:

Quids in - Someone who's "quids in" has invested in an opportunity which is probably going to benefit them massively.

[the-kr8tor]

COMPLETELY FORGOT TO CHECK UP ON YOUR WELL-BEING I'M ASHAMED OF MYSELF

How are you Katy?

I have another twins request (surprise surprise)

The twins being sick (my poor babies 🥺)

And Reader being so tired after trying to look after them because they're so clingy for Mummy and they won't stop sniffling (nooooo my poor children)

And Hobie coming back from patrol as early as possible after sensing his girls' discomfort and taking care of the babies (my eyes are filling with tears)

Awwwww, they're already my kids in my head, that sounds so sad but I love them 😭🥺

Hello, ml! I'm fine, thank you for asking ❤️ I hope you like this one!

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader

Word count: 1.4k

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, description of illness, brief mention of vomit, Billie and Ramona AU, twin AU, Dad AU, Dad! Hobie, Mum! Reader. Fluff.

Dad AU Masterlist

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

Your shirt is covered in a combination of toddler snot and a hint of throw up. You would've changed by now but with the twins clinging onto you like you're their lifeline has you practically glued on their sides. Billie refuses to let you go with her tiny hands balled around the collar of your (Hobie's) old band shirt. She sniffs relentlessly, lashes wet with unshed tears. Meanwhile, her sister, Ramona has finally fallen asleep on your shared bed. She holds onto her baby blanket with the little guitars embroidered on it like it's the last cookie in the cookie jar. Still, even in her sleep she still refuses to let you go with her other fist enclosed around the hem of your shirt.

Sighing, your eyelids grow heavy and your stomach grumbles from hunger. You've only had sips of their chicken noodle soup you made a few hours ago. They wouldn't even have a little sip if you don't try it before them like a taste tester for a couple of princesses afraid of getting ‘poisoned.’ You have to start telling them the usual fairytales instead of actual history. You guess it was your fault when you accidentally left the telly open on the history channel instead of teletubbies like you were supposed to do. You kind of blame Hobie and his relentless kisses whenever he gets home, effectively distracting you from changing the channel to a more toddler appropriate one.

But thanks to the cooling weather, not even history lessons could calm them down from their fever and sniffles. This is the first time they've gotten this sick since you've brought them home from the hospital when they were just newborns. Everyone was right when they told you that when one kid gets sick, the other will surely follow. You can handle it, but with your growing hunger and fatigue, you really need Hobie to get home now.

You can't blame him for leaving while they're sick, the city needs him when he heard from his radio that goblin’s wreaking havoc downtown and the team couldn't handle it all on their own. He promised he'll be back quickly with meds and hot soup to quell their illness. It's been a few hours since then, now you're starting to worry. Add that with the girls' sickness acting up, your nerves are through the roof.

Mona gurgles in her sleep, her tiny fists unfurling around your shirt for only a brief second before clamping back down. Patting her back, you feel how clammy she is under her pastel pink pajamas.

“Mummy?” Billie lifts her curly head up from the crook of your neck, lips pouting, and snot dripping from her nostrils. She pats your cheek with her sweaty hand, an indication that her fever's going down so as her sister's, thank goodness.

“Yes, baby?” You whisper to her sweetly.

“‘m hungry.” Her frown deepens, eyes similar to Hobie's are staring back at you through wet lashes. “I want biscuits.”

You remember when she could barely keep the noodles down, moreso if it's cookies instead. But if cookies are what she wants, then cookies she shall get. Maybe it'll magically cure her. “Okay, but you have to let mummy go so I can get it for you—”

“No!” She immediately shoves her face back in the crook of your neck, then the sniffles follow. “Stay!”

You rub her back up and down to placate her. “Mac, your sister's sleeping.”

Billie kicks her tiny socked feet about, hands tugging relentlessly at your shirt. “Mummy, stay!” Cue the tears.

“Okay, okay, mummy will stay.” You coo at her, wincing when Ramona stirs from her slumber.

“I want biscuits.” She once again lifts her head up, sobs quieting down to a soft sniffle. “...Sorry.”

Your heart softens at her adorable apology, she definitely reminds you of her father. “It's alright, promise you'll be quiet for Mon-mon?” Billie nods, arms enveloping around your neck as you begin to sit up. Now for the daunting part, you have to escape from Mona's hold without waking her up.

Hand holding onto Billie, while the other gently unfurls Mona's fingers around your shirt, you take your time lest you have another grumpy and sick kid in your hands. With her pinky finally letting go after you tug at it, you smile victoriously while fixing your hold on Billie.

The bed squeaks as you stand up, wincing at the sound, you look back at the still sleeping Ramona curled around her baby blanket. Sighing, you stare at Billie, who has her index on her lips in a shushing motion. You tamp down a chuckle at her antics.

With one step at a time, you tiptoe around the messy room. The twins' clothes and towels are littered around the floors, same with tissues that have managed to miss the bin when you threw it haphazardly.

“Mummy, quiet?” Billie whispers or tries to when she still hasn't figured out how to actually whisper.

“Yes, baby, we need to be quiet.” As you get to to the door, the cold doorknob is stinging against your palm, the bedroom window squeaks open and before you could whirl around towards the sound— Hobie's heavy boots are already thumping loudly against the hardwood. “Hobie—”

“I got the meds and the soup—” Mona's sudden wailing stops him in his tracks. Tears roll down her chubby cheeks as she kicks her feet under the blankets, her rough coughs hurting your chest. “Ah shi—” you give Hobie a look. “— sorry.” He winces just as when Billie joins the cacophony of crying.

—

The sheets have been changed, the girls are showered and fed. Their temperatures are completely normal now, and their coughing and sniffing is down to a minimum. You're also fed thanks to Hobie's famous sandwich he made specially for you. And thanks to the shared effort and teamwork, both girls are sleeping and you've finally cleaned yourself up.

As you get out of the shower, you catch Hobie pressing gentle kisses atop Billie and Mona's heads. He pecks them both equally, adding one to Billie and Mona simultaneously before repeating it when he thinks that the kisses aren't equal to one another. Billie's cheek is squished on Hobie's side while Mona curls around his other side sweetly.

“They won't grumble if you don't give them the equal number of kisses.” You whisper to him, wet hair still clinging to your cheek as you put on a clean shirt. Fully dressed, you see him tilt his head with a playful smile tugging at his pierced lips. You smile back, admiring him in his soft clothes with your socks on his feet. You cross the small distance towards him whilst he tries to reach out towards you with his arms full of sleeping toddlers. “But I will.”

He makes grabby hands at you. “Kiss?”

Sitting down next to him, he scooches as much as he can while the girls are clinging to him in their sleep. “How could I say no?” With your soft lips on him, you kiss him back gently until he's satisfied that you got an even number of kisses. His eyes are still closed when you pull away. “You sure you're okay?” You reach over Billie to fix his windblown eyebrow, index laying it down carefully.

Hobie leans tiredly against your hand, and in turn you cradle his cheek, thumb running along his jaw. “‘m fine, nothin’ I couldn't handle. Are you?”

“Well, I don't smell like sick anymore.” You shrug, beaming down at him. He chuckles softly, neck craning to kiss the pads of your fingers. “And you're home safe and sound, I'm okay.”

He sighs, eyes completely soft for you. “I'll stay with you this time, and the next, I promise. ‘m sorry I left you alone.” The warm light of the lamp shines on his apologetic face.

You lean closer, careful not to wake either of the girls nestled in each of his arms. “I know, but you can't promise that. I knew what I was getting into when we had them. And I'm perfectly fine with that as long as you come home to us…” Your nose nudges his own, he hums slowly, like a cat purring in content. “...Preferably in one piece.”

Hobie chuckles, heart eyes blinking slowly at you, and pursed lips reaching towards the tip of your nose. “Thank you, love.”

Your palm rests on his warm chest, feeling his heartbeat through his (your) shirt. “Part of the job, Hobie.” With a smile, you feel him tug at your collar, pulling you down towards him further to meet with his lips. “Careful, we might wake them up—” A sneeze rises up your throat, suddenly releasing it on Hobie's shocked face. The girls barely stir. “Shi– sorry.” You sniff, throat feeling like it's full of spikes.

“Ah shit.”

[the-kr8tor]

OMG YESSSS MORE PARENT TRAP AU!!!!!!! MORE OF MY BABIES!!!

Lmaoooo I knew it wasn't Billie that Annie was shaking relentlessly 🤣

I love the fact that they're both so nonchalant abt it (they're def hiding their panic and questions 😂) def Hobie's kids!

Poor arnold basically being left on read 😂

Billie making up nicknames for them like the menace she is 🤣🤣🤣 when she called mona mom-mon i audibly aww-ed 🥺

Arnie and Annie 😂

Yesss they're tall!!!

Lol not Billie teasing Mona abt her fashion sense 😭😭 The cherry reference!!! So freaking cute ahhhhh

I love how you integrated all the British slang so seamlessly!!! I can definitely see Billie saying all of it! Well done ❤️

Ate this up immediately after I woke up from my nap and haven't left my mind since then!! I can't wait to see what happens next!!! I need to see Hobie see mona instead of billie and vice versa like I need water!!!

Webbed Together

Pairing: Hobie Brown x Fem!Reader/ Spider-Punk x Fem!Reader

Word count: 3k

Author's Note: I HAVE FINALLY GOT THIS CHAPTER DONE!!! 😭 I'd like to thank @pinksugarscrub for being so patient with me and for beta reading for me! Credit goes to @the-kr8tor for their original characters Ramona and Billie.

Tags: Parent Trap!AU, Dad!Hobie AU, Twin!AU, Billie and Ramona!AU, Older!Hobie, Mom!Reader, Older!Reader

Chapter 4: Stand Up

Rubber soles slap against dirt as Annie sprints towards the infirmary. Fiery short locks whip against the momentum the faster she runs, thick frames bouncing against the bridge of her nose and sweat building up on her forehead.

The moment Annie heard that Billie went to the infirmary after her private clarinet lesson, she ran straight out their shared cabin and across the campgrounds to the infirmary, dodging any unsuspecting campers and counselors along the way. Her heart pounds against her ribcage as her feet propel her faster, her mind riddled with worry for her friend.

Annie’s feet then skids across the dirt, small gravel and dust flying everywhere, before she runs into the infirmary. Weaving around the bewildered elderly nurse through the doorway, she instantly spots a mane of dark curls in the corner of her eye, where before her is a familiar figure gently bobbing her head with an mp3 player in her hand with a boy lying in the infirmary bed.

“Billie!”

Annie storms into the room and grabs the girl from her chair, oblivious to the startled boy in the bed while standing on her tiptoes and shaking the tall girl by the shoulders.

“Billie, what the heck happened?!” Annie yells, her hands clamped onto skinny shoulders while she jostles the girl back and forth. “Cindy told me you went over here after playing volleyball with Benny and his friends! Did he hit you in the head or something? Do you have a concussion or–”

Annie continues to jabber on with her interrogation while shaking the poor girl, not noticing the lack of piercings on her ears nor the lack of punk flair in her clothes.

“But not only are you fine, but you’re just chilling here listening to music with a boy!” Annie huffs with her cheeks puffed out and her brows furrowed. “When the heck did that happen?! Who is he, and when were you planning on telling me?! What the heck is going–”

“Uh, Annie?”

Annie instantly freezes at the familiar British accent behind her. Her hands still clutching onto the girl’s shoulders, she slowly looks over her shoulder to see Billie standing under the doorway, staring at her with a confused tilt to the head. “What are you doing?...”

Annie’s eyes nearly break through her glasses when she sees her friend before turning her attention back to the disoriented Ramona, who quietly groans while her head lolls around from the sudden outburst from the shorter redhead.

A long silence lingers in the room as Annie looks back and forth between the two girls, the wave of disbelief washing over her face until–

“...WHO THE HELL IS THIS?!”

—

Annie’s face is frozen in a perplexed frown as she stares at the sight in front of her, ignoring the wary and injured Arnold as she sits on the edge of his bed.

Two Billies– or Billie and Ramona, as Billie reminds Annie. One in her familiar punk band-tee and with her cat-like smile, and the other smiling sheepishly at her in a white, cherry-decorated sweater. The sight of Annie’s perplexed stare elicits a snicker from Billie before she tries to speak.

“Oh c’mon, Annie–”

“Shut up.”

Billie presses her lips together and holds her hands up in surrender, but she struggles to stifle her snickers as Annie shoots a sharp glare at her. The latter then turns to Ramona, who flinches from the intense scrutiny of the redhead. Despite having more than half a foot on her, Ramona is instantly intimidated by the short redhead.

“...so you two don’t know each other?”

Ramona quickly shakes her head no.

“And you barely met each other when your friend–” Annie points her thumb over to the flitty Arnold– “got hit in the head by a volleyball?”

A quick shake yes.

“And all of this is just a coincidence for you guys?”

Another quick nod.

Annie stares at the shrinking Ramona, as if studying a new specimen in a science experiment, before she sighs in resignation. “Okay, I guess.”

“ ‘m sorry– what? Jus’ like ‘at?” 

Billie drops her smirk and squawks in indignation as her eyes narrow at her friend, her British accent briefly growing stronger. “You weren’t like ‘is when I told you!”

Annie instantly glares at Billie, her face scrunching up into a demon-like scowl as she stands up from poor Arnold’s bed. “Because she’s not laughing her ass off about it, unlike how you told me! I mean, wouldn’t you be freaking out about seeing somebody else with your face? Actually– why aren’t you freaking out more?!”

Arnold meekly backs away as much as he could against the headboard from the quick temper of the redhead, and Ramona looks between the two friends with worry, but Billie just barks up a carefree laugh before pulling Annie into a bear hug.

“Oh c’mon now, Annie! No need to throw a fit ‘bout ‘is,” Billie grins as she rocks Annie side-to-side, with the redhead scrambling but failing to get out of her embrace like an annoyed tabby cat. “Sure, ’s a little weird seeing someone looking like me if I was in those cheesy clothing ads–”

“Hey–”

“But we can’t just lose our marbles over it like a bunch of ninnies,” Billie continues with a goodhearted wave of a hand to Ramona. “ ‘sides, ‘s a small world! My dad always says to expect the unexpected and take things in stride–”

Annie finally yanks herself away from Billie’s grasp with a gasp, her glasses askew and her hair in a ruffled mess, before her face scrunches up into an annoyed glare. “I don’t think this is what your dad had in mind when he said that–”

“Either way, we’ on it like a car bonnet,” Billie reassures Annie with a cheeky grin. “We already went through the whole freakout session: pinching each other, yanking our hairs, waiting for the whole world to end, the whole nine yards–”

“With two of the three done one-sidedly–”

Billie playfully pouts at Ramona’s retort, who gives a deadpan in return. 

A quiet cough interrupts the three-way conversation, and all three turn to the forgotten boy in the room with a mix of exasperation (Annie), confusion (Ramona), and amusement (Billie). Arnold flushes sheepishly at their full attention as he pulls the covers over his body.

“C-can one of you g-guys get me– get me an icepack?...”

Ramona’s eyes soften as she crosses the room for the mini refrigerator to grab one, meanwhile Annie looks over at him with a sheepish smile. “Sorry about that,” Annie adjusts herself on the edge of the bed to face Arnold. “You feeling okay, though? I heard from a lot of kids that Benny has a strong arm.”

Arnold shrugs just as Ramona approaches him with a Ziplock full of ice, which he gratefully takes from her before putting it on his forehead. “I think so. The nurse told me I don’t have a concussion, but the swelling will stay for a few days–”

“That guy was kinda being a jerk, though,” Ramona huffs out, her face scrunched up into a slight frown. “He didn’t even say sorry to Arnold or anything, just laughed about it.” Ramona then turns to Billie with her brows furrowed even more. “Can’t you talk to Benny or something? You’re his friend, aren’t you–”

“Now hang on, he ain’t my mate,” Billie holds her hands up in surrender, her cheeky grin dropping to a more solemn frown. “I was only there with him because I was on free time, ‘n I didn’t have anything else to do. Barely met the bloke today, but he was bein’ an arse the whole time we were playing. Thought everyone else was gonna tell him off, but they were actin’ like his lackeys or somethin’.”

Billie then crosses her arms and scrunches up her nose in annoyance. “By the time poor Arnie over here–”

“Arnie?”

“Yes, you, Arnie– anyway, by the time Arnie got hit in the head, I was already sick of being around those prats, so I just legged it with you guys.”

As Billie finishes, Ramona crosses her arms against her chest with a frustrated huff, her forehead wrinkling up while her face curls up into a deeper frown. “Still, someone has to tell him off. He can’t just do that and then laugh the whole thing off.”

“Yeah, that’s kind of an asshole move,” Annie adds on. “And the rest of the kids with him are no better, laughing it off with him instead of checking up on Arnie– it’s okay to call you Arnie, right?”

“I–”

“Anyway,” Annie cuts off the confused Arnold, “Benny shouldn’t get away with that. Did you guys talk to a counselor about this at least?”

“I tried earlier,” Ramona grumbles, her face pinching up into a frustrated frown, “but for some reason the counselors won’t listen. Like as soon as I say Benny’s name, they either brush me off or look like they just saw a monster and just run off…”

“Maybe he’s some rich trust fund kid, like in those old cheesy teen movies my Uncle James watches,” Billie mutters under her breath with a crinkle to her nose, now sitting down on a chair beside the infirmary bed while absently fidgeting with a small B-shaped charm on her chain bracelet. “His parents pro’lly donated a lot of money or sumthin’ to the camp, so the counselors look the other way when he causes trouble.” When her input is only met with silence, she glances up to the rest of the group staring at her with confusion and disbelief.

“... ‘m just sayin’, that could be it.”

Ramona only sighs before she turns back to the rest of the group. “Well either way, the counselors are no help, and Benny doesn’t seem like he’s sorry about it–”

“Maybe we should just drop it,” Arnold mumbles out as he pulls the makeshift ice pack from his forehead with a defeated face. “What if we make things worse–”

“Yeah, no, not an option, Artie,” Billie interrupts before she pushes herself up from her seat and rests her hands on his shoulders. “If you let anyone like Benny hurt ya and get away with it, then he gon’ keep doin’ it to ya. He gon’ t’ink it’s okay to take a piss at ya, slag off at ya–”

“I don’t like how either of those sound–”

“He gon’ keep bullying ya if ya don’ stand up fo’ yaself,” Billie shuts Arnold down with a stern frown. “Tha’s not sumthin’ ya should put up wit’ the whole time ya here. And not only he gon’ do it to ya, but he gon’ do it to other kids too at some point. And before he gon’ reach that point, we gotta nip that in the bud ‘n make sure that don’ happen.”

Arnold hesitantly stares up at Billie before turning to Ramona, who only shrugs in response. “I mean, Billie does have a point. It’ll just get worse if you don’t say anything…”

She then sits on the other side of the bed and gently bumps her shoulder against his, the corners of her lips quirking up into a small smile. “But you got us to help you. You don’t have to deal with Benny alone.”

Arnold glances between the two girls in front of him with uncertainty before darting his eyes down to his hands clutching onto the ice-filled ziplock bag. “Can one of you guys take a step back please? It’s still a little weird for me to see the two of you together…”

Billie’s eyes narrow as her face reverts to an annoyed deadpan, but she lets go of Arnold’s shoulders and steps back with her hands up. “Just know that you’re avoidin’ the subject, mate–”

“Billie–”

“ ‘m just sayin’, Mon-mon–”

“I’m sorry– Mon-mon?”

“Okay, you two,” Annie cuts in with a huff, “we’re losing track of what the actual issue is. We all want Benny to not act like an asshole and apologize to Arnie, but apparently he has some Regina George power over people here. How are we gonna deal with that?”

Everyone in the room grows silent for a moment, the sounds of children talking outside echoing into the infirmary room until–

“We could all go up to him and give him a piece of our minds–”

“I don’t think jumping him would do Arnie any good, Billie–”

“We’re not gon’ jump him!” Billie denies with an offended scowl as she narrows her eyes at Annie. “We’re jus’ gon’ make it known tha’ Arnie was miffed off and ain’t gon’ take any more of his crap–”

“Wait, I just said I don’t want to make things worse–”

“Letting him get away with it will make it worse, Arnold–”

“But–”

“C’mon, Arnie,” Billie groans as she flops down across the bed, making sure not to land on Arnold’s legs, “ya can’t just let Benny do tha’ ta ya ‘n then laugh at ya face. Ya gotta do sumthin’ to stop it from happenin’ again. Personally, I’d–”

A loud knock suddenly echoes in the room, and all four of the kids look over to the doorway, where an elderly woman with a white lab coat hobbles inside with her cane tapping along the tile flooring.

“Now, now, kiddies, you shouldn’t be crowding the poor boy like this,” the elderly nurse tuts at the girls as she slowly approaches Arnold, making all three of them get off the bed while the nurse gently presses her fingertips against the bump on Arnold’s head. “He may be fine in the head, but he still needs to rest and not get too excited while the swelling goes down. You girls should run off to your activities in the meantime.”

Billie’s face and shoulders drop at the nurse’s words. “But–”

A hand gently grasps on Billie’s shoulder, and she looks over to a sympathetic Ramona before she looks over to the nurse with an apologetic smile. “We’re sorry, ma’am. We’ll be on our way.”

Ramona then glances over to Arnold, concern and reluctance lingering in her eyes. “Get better soon, okay Arnold? Just meet up with us if you get cleared later.”

She then gently pushes a disgruntled Billie, who still tries to go back to talk to Arnold in vain, to the door while Annie hesitantly follows behind with a sheepish wave to him. “We’ll come back with some snacks or something, Arnie!” Annie calls out before she closes the door behind them.

—

“What the bloody hell, you two?!” Billie huffs out as she stomps out of the infirmary and onto the campgrounds, with a weary Ramona and a distracted Annie– who zips up her fanny pack and opens a granola bar– following her. “Why’d ya pull me outta there?! We’re not done talkin’ ‘bout this wit’ ‘im–”

“Calm down, Billie,” Ramona cuts her off with a sigh, scuffing her converses against the gravel. “Arnold’s still hurt, and if the nurse didn’t come in, we would’ve overwhelmed him too much. Besides, even if we did get Arnold to agree, we don’t know what could happen if we all went up to Benny and confronted him about it. That’ll just be too much stress for Arnold to deal with.”

“Yeah, but–”

Annie suddenly pops up by Billie’s side and shoves the granola bar into her mouth, effectively silencing the vexed punk girl as she drops her shoulders and reluctantly eats it with a grumble.

“And even if we did confront him, it just sounds like he and his goons will just brush us off,” Annie sighs with her arms crossing against her chest. “We’d probably have to figure out a way to get him to listen…”

Billie huffs out through her nose in annoyance as she begins to walk off and gobble up the granola bar, having the two girls follow her until they are side by side. “I’d personally like ta throw a ball at his head, see how he likes it.”

“Violence isn’t the answer, Bills–”

“Neither is sittin’ back and letting him do whatev’a he wants–”

As both girls continue to bicker, Ramona glances over to the side and spots a crowd of kids gathering at one of the benches near the boys’ cabins, her feet slowing down into a stop as she stares at the area with curiosity. Along the outskirts of the crowds Ramona’s eyes drift down to some of the kids’ hands– wallets, handfuls of bills, tied-up filled socks– and she slowly separates from Billie and Annie as she approaches the buzzing flock in front of her. The closer she gets to the cabin area, the clearer she hears the murmurings and familiar grating laughter from before. Once she finally joins the stragglers outside the crowd, she can easily see over the numerous kids clamoring to the center, where she spots Benny cackling and throwing a hand of five cards down the bench and shoveling a pile of bills and coins to himself to the groaning dismay of the people sitting on the table with him.

Ramona tilts her head to the side in confusion before turning to a short boy hopping next to her as he tries to peek over a taller kid’s shoulders.

“Uh, hey,” Ramona gently taps on the shorter kid’s shoulder, briefly stealing his attention away from the card game. “What’s going on here?”

The disgruntled boy strains his neck up to stare at her wide-eyed, briefly distracted by the tall girl in front of him, before shaking his head and struggling to peek over again. “There’s this older kid who’s playing a poker game tournament, and he said that whoever beats him in a game of poker can get whatever they want from him.”

A few kids start to make their way out of the crowd with disappointment painted on their faces while the mass of kids start to clamor closer to replace any empty spots in the middle. “So far none of the boys won against him yet,” the kid continues, “but the older kid Benny said anyone who thinks they can beat him can join in–”

“Oh, really?”

Ramona jolts up in surprise and turns her head to the side, only to see Billie draping her arm over her shoulder. A wickedly mischievous glint shines in the punk girl’s eyes while a Cheshire Cat-like grin curls up on her lips, sending a dreadful chill down Ramona’s spine.

“Anyone can play?”

----

British Phrase of the Chapter:

On it like a car bonnet - can be used by someone who thinks they are in control of a situation

Legged it - made a run for it

Take a piss - be sarcastic to or mock

Slag off - verbally make fun of someone

Miffed - confused or annoyed

References:

https://www.stgeorges.co.uk/23-typical-british-expressions-you-must-learn-to-understand-the-brits/

https://www.oxfordinternationalenglish.com/dictionary-of-british-slang/

https://tandem.net/blog/british-slang-words

[invadercamille]

Defenders of Tri-State

906 x 648

Scott Pilgrim was published 20 years ago yesterday by Bryan Lee O’Malley. The series has since garnered a huge cult following and been considered an example of transmedia storytelling

Inspired by an art challenge on X by @prestalnic

[maybebitterxox]

Who I’d Cast For A Live Action Ever After High (purely based on looks)